Chapter Text
Kaiser got back to the complex at 1:46AM. He had barely showered and his hair was everywhere. There was brown blood under his left nostril that he somehow hadn’t swiped off.
Ness waited until he’d shut the door, then slapped him as hard as he could. He had this blinding instant where he knew. This was why Mother always looked like she’d been running after she hit Father. The exhilaration was so absolutely good.
Kaiser reeled to the side. He caught himself on the wall. Then he rounded on Ness. He kicked his legs out from under him.
Ness scrambled on nothing. He hit the bedroll. The ceiling spun above him.
Kaiser was on him in another heartbeat, his weight and the rage in his eyes and the tangle of girl smell riding his sweat. He bared his teeth and snarled as his hands snapped in Ness’s shirt. “You’re not stupid! Why do you keep acting like you’re stupid?” His voice was a low growl.
The sensation of it reverberating in his own chest made Ness even angrier. “You jerkoff. You didn’t tell me this was how it worked.”
“You couldn’t figure it out? You’re mine. Maybe I wanted some cunt tonight. I’ll come back.”
“You couldn’t say two words to me?”
“Why?”
“We never talked about seeing other people!”
“You’re mine. It’s not hard. Stop making it hard.”
“It is hard!” Ness’s voice broke. There were tears, cold on his flushed face. He choked on a sob. He barely knew what he was saying. “As far as I know you were monogamous with Da–…”
“Leave him out of this you pathetic piece of shit!” That was not whispered.
Ness jumped.
Kaiser pulled back his fist. But then he just— froze. He was all raven eyes and short, panting breaths. His nose had started bleeding. Again, probably.
Ness would have been still too, but he was crying too hard. He could hardly see. He managed to get one hand up. Shakily, he brought it against Kaiser’s cheek, unsure if he was trying to caress him or smack him again.
At the touch, Kaiser slumped over.
Ness didn’t think he was breathing or even blinking. Just bleeding.
Was he seizing? Ness tried to remember if Kaiser had been hit on the head earlier, but he couldn’t get his thoughts out of the present. He was chanting no, no, no as he scooped him into his arms, as he nuzzled his bloody face and stroked his hair. As he cried all over him.
Kaiser felt like he surged in his grasp, once, twice. Then he stirred, pushing Ness’s fingers away from him. He tried to suck a sigh but ended up coughing, swiping at his face, looking down at the red on his fingers. He said something like not again himself. Another shudder passed over him. He tried to curl up. Ness was in the way, so he did that into him.
Ness held him and he cried. He told him he was sorry every time his mouth would make the words. He was still so hot furious with him, but he shouldn’t have hurt him. Not like that. Not like this.
Michael Kaiser was hiding in his arms and Michael Kaiser was an asshole, but…
But nothing. That’s where they’d landed.
He’d hit him.
He took another shot of anguish so strong it made him gag.
Kaiser slid his arms around him.
They lay like that for a long while. Ness’s heart pounded and his face ached. He could smell Kaiser’s nosebleed. It was probably all over them both and the tatami and everything .
Ness ended up tilting Kaiser’s chin out of his shirt. He wanted to give him a look. Make sure he was OK. He probably should have done that before. The nosebleed was out of nowhere that he knew of.
It was also dying down now. Kaiser sucked at his slick lip. Their eyes met and he said, “I wanted to see what you’d do.”
“What did you think I’d do?” Ness sobbed. He pulled the hem of his shirt out of his pants and dabbed at Kaiser’s face. The thing already needed a hard dry clean. What did a little more blood mean? “You walked away from me. We should have been celebrating together, but you left.”
“So you sat in a corner and drank yourself into a rage. Now, you’re crying about it.”
“Half right.”
“Don’t tell me you hooked up with Lorenzo.”
The anger snapped back into his throat. Ness was already fumbling around with his shirt. Unbuttoning the thing to show Kaiser the bite came naturally. The bite was still red and it was going to bruise like hell.
Kaiser glanced at it, faced him again. “You weren’t kidding. You really are a slut.”
“Same to you.”
“Then what are we even fighting about?”
Ness blinked another surge of tears out of his eyes. He spoke calmly once they’d dripped away. “You left, I hit you, you called me names.” That was really all it was in the end and from some cold point of distance. That was all, but it was so much. The immensity had him quaking inside and he was still so mad . “Please don’t hit me back. Please.”
“You’d leave if I did that.” Kaiser snorted. “I’d have hit the wall, not you.”
Ness whimpered. He didn’t believe him. He didn’t. He didn’t believe Michael Kaiser would have punched the wall and not him.
But he’d hit him first. And he’d meant it.
Ness squeezed Kaiser. He tried to push magic into him like that would somehow fix this. There was nowhere in Kaiser for the magic to go, so it bled out of Ness and lay like mist around them on the floor. It ached as surely as every inch of Ness’s body. He hated this, hated what they were to each other now.
But he didn’t, he wouldn’t, let go of Kaiser.
Who was talking again, low and light, there somewhere in the tangle of his shirt. “My poor, sad little puppy. Getting all worked up about nothing. I’d never chain you to just me. That’s cruel. You have to trust me that I’ll come back.” He hummed. “You have such a big heart, but there’s not a lot of that in it— trust.”
Ness knew this was true. The fact stuck in him like a splinter. “I’m not in the mood for this. Just stop.”
Kaiser shrugged. He rubbed up against him, his smeary cheek on Ness’s belly, then his chest. He didn’t feel content as he rested there. He felt like he was waiting, testing, trying. Kaiser had to uncover every boundary and then kick them to see if they’d give. He barely seemed to have a margin for his own body where he cuddled up so close. His hands started to rove.
Ness wanted to shove him off, but the night was so fragile around them with the magic spilled. He’d never been as angry as Kaiser made him, but he’d also never been in love with someone the way he was with Kaiser.
Shit.
He…
Ness felt like he’d lost all weight as it dawned on him.
He was, wasn’t he?
He was in love with Michael Kaiser. He had been this whole time. It wasn’t just the physical devotion they were sharing, it wasn’t just the quest to try and help him.
He was in love with him and this was what it had taken him to realize.
Ness verged on crying again. He swallowed the sobs and so many words. This was stupid. This was all so stupid of him. How had he not let himself know?
That was about when Kaiser nudged him onto his back. He swayed between Ness’s knees, bringing himself up until he could whisper into his mouth. “You’re still worked up. You’ll never get any sleep like this. I need to put you somewhere else so you can rest.”
“Kaiser, stop,” Ness pressed. “Not while you’re still mad at me.” Though he’d wanted to say, maybe meant to say not while I’m still mad at you . Because he was somewhere smashed up with everything else he felt.
Kaiser kissed him. “That’s over.” His tongue trailed over Ness’s wet cheeks. He took a lick of the tear stains. “I’ll do all the work. You relax.”
Relaxing had nothing to do with any of this. Not with Kaiser taking the lead. Ness whimpered again. Kaiser started on the other cheek, tangling up to meet the last few tears that leaked out of him.
Ness wanted him so bad. It didn’t matter if it was in the wake of something so wretched. He could still do some magic. He could still have whatever small piece of himself Kaiser shared when they were screwed up together. Like they would be soon, Ness guessed and that still thrilled him straight through to the crotch of his heart.
Kaiser licked his lips. He pushed up on his hands.
Ness met his eyes and finished unbuttoning his bloody shirt.
Kaiser let him do that much, then pushed his hands inside, stroking all over Ness’s chest and up to the mix of wounds on his shoulders. Those twinged as his touch passed over. Ness made a sound in the back of his throat. He let his back arch and his hands droop to his sides. Kaiser’s mouth settled on him again, his shoulder this time, then the juncture where Lorenzo had bitten him. He knew Kaiser would bite him there too. He did. The hot lick of pain made Ness’s fingers twitch. There was only a sound from him after Kaiser had let go of him, one of relief.
Then Kaiser took his shoes and his pants. He turned the bedroll out. Ness climbed in. He sighed so hard his chest hurt. Kaiser made himself naked and crawled up beside him. He stuck his hand down Ness’s shorts, started to ply him, started to kiss Ness’s neck. Kaiser’s skin against Ness left this pure, quivering sensation. Ness wanted to give in to him. Give Kaiser everything and slip back into his own love for the other boy, to hang there with him without any past or future, without any complications.
That their whole relationship had been a string of complications from the start caught Ness on one of the hard strokes Kaiser put to him. But he’d promised himself. But he’d said he would. But he loved him and… They were kissing. Not that Kaiser had kissed him. The kiss was in Ness’s mouth first. He loved Kaiser and he drank him in, Kaiser’s blond hair falling into his face. Kaiser made some low, soft sound of interest; kissed him back and held him tight in a fist. Kaiser’s mouth tasted of Lavinia_XOXO’s flowers.
Then the fingers he’d had on Ness’s dick slipped lightly away. Ness felt them again on his wrist, felt Kaiser guiding him to his cock. Kaiser was striking hard, his foreskin soft and wet and slid back. Ness held him tightly, dealing one slide and then another. His own breathing came heavy and slow, like all the sobs had drawn the will to do it out of him.
Kaiser seemed to notice. He made a thoughtful inspection of Ness’s lips, then wove his hand into his bangs to tilt his head back. Ness choked a little, but he asked, “Let me watch you stretch yourself out.” The words bubbled in his slippery throat.
“OK…” Kaiser sounded hesitant.
Ness thought he might not do it, thought he might slip away again and somehow. Instead, Kaiser held Ness on his cock for a while longer, until he was leaking on Ness’s hand. Then he pushed himself upright on the side of the bedroll. He shook his head and kneed his way to the nightstand where he kept the Vaseline. He brought the whole jar with him, setting it aside on the tatami. Finally, he straddled Ness, his stocking feet tucked under Ness’s armpits. He bent over against him. His whole underside flexed on Ness as showed himself off, just how he was, all damp and day-worn and hairless.
His fingers went in the Vaseline and he brought them up under himself, leaning off of Ness to do it. The angle didn’t seem comfortable, but it was the one Ness knew he favored. It lent itself to showing off now. Kaiser went slow up his taint and started to stroke at his hole. He dabbed himself slippery, but there was no more delay after. If he did it himself, he did it this way— the barest stretch once he was slick and then he’d push two fingers in. Ness usually only heard this part. Seeing Kaiser’s muscles give way and pink on the strain made Ness’s mouth go dry before it started to run again. Kaiser sucked and shuddered at the sudden weight against his insides. He also kept going, sliding in and out with low clenches on his fingertips. It looked like it ached, doing it this way; looked rough even though he went so slow, waiting for his skin to settle before he drew his hand deep. He might have been playing it up, but Kaiser’s breath caught as his fingers moved inside of himself. He moaned too as he turned back to Ness and then his eyes . They were fragments of color in his lust.
Ness closed his hands on Kaiser’s thighs. “Show me,” he said.
There was no argument. Kaiser got more Vaseline. He put that into himself and scissored his fingers. He was all sloppy with lube and viscera red. The shadows inside of him shifted as he breathed, and on another sigh, he clenched.
Part of Ness couldn’t believe he’d been sticking himself in something so vulnerable-looking, but then he had his fingers there, pressed in beside Kaiser’s.
Kaiser hissed. He dipped forward as Ness fingered him, curved his hand to hold him by the sensitive pulp towards his front. He gave a shudder on one tight squeeze, then another. Ness held him and then let go.
Kaiser sank over him. He grabbed Ness’s cock with his slippery hand, held himself open with the other, letting his hole settle onto Ness’s tip like that. He screwed softly from one side to the other as he sank down. He didn’t drop himself this time, but bobbed against Ness before he finally settled onto his open lap, speared and flexing and huffing out the pressure in him now. A bead of sweat ran down his spine.
Ness lunged after it. Kaiser was just lifting his hips. Ness jabbed up along with him as he moved. There was a sharp sound. Kaiser roiled inside as he took Ness’s cock inside of him and Ness’s tongue on his back and finally Ness swaying up to clutch him close. There were whispers of protest, words tangled on Kaiser’s kissed-out mouth. He flexed and he moaned— “I was gonna…” In this shaky voice Ness only knew from a few snatches over the past few weeks.
The sex had cut deep already. Kaiser writhed on Ness’s lap. He went up in quick arcs then came in slow, angles shifting between them with the greasy sounds the lube made.
Ness chased him when he could. He had started leaking tears again when their bodies met. Kaiser could probably feel them on his neck when Ness rubbed against him and his rose tattoo. Kaiser didn’t say anything about that though. He was gagging on his moans, straining where he knelt. So Ness took handfuls of him, like Kaiser so often did of him. Held his chest, squeezed his thighs. Cradled him with his own heart pressed against his back. Kaiser was already blown out in his arms, jerking back where the thrusts between them caught him. The chants flowed out of him. “Oh, God, Ness. Oh, God.”
Ness licked his neck. He bit the shell of his ear. Kaiser squirmed and sang out, tipping forward in one instant to maybe try and bare himself. Ness pulled him back, held him tight this time. He brought one of his legs under himself while Kaiser begged him for more, and then the other. He shoved upwards.
Kaiser was hung up on him. All of his weight was holding him down on Ness’s dick. Ness paused again when he realized. That would be a lot– pressure, sensation, need.
But it wasn’t more than Kaiser could take. Ness grabbed Kaiser’s cock and pushed again. Kaiser’s whole body surged between each point of stimulation. A growl shook him, then he was panting and trying to crane over his shoulder.
Ness got one good look of what a wreck he was, his whole expression dripping pleasure despite this one glance of uncertainty.
Maybe it was because of Ness’s wet eyes. Maybe he felt… Something too. Something just beyond the margins of the two of them fucking on their bloody tatami.
But then Kaiser squeezed on him. That was deliberate.
Ness thought: I love you and I wish , the wish being dashed on the words that should have made it. It was more of an I want you there in the end. Ness clutched, once more. He grabbed Kaiser’s dick and he pumped him hard as the two of them slammed together. There was one long undone noise from Kaiser. Ness wrung the orgasm out of him. There was spunk on the wall by the time Kaiser slumped into his arms. He was still moaning. His own words came out ‘don’t stop’, so Ness didn’t. He had himself out on the post-coital soup that Kaiser was, coming between his thighs so the sperm didn’t drain out of him over what was left of the night.
They collapsed after that. Kaiser lay halfway on top of Ness, his legs twitching. He stretched and he groaned. Ness finally caught his breath. The tears stopped for good a little while after. He stared at the hair towel Kaiser had left over the back of the desk chair for a long few minutes before he moved to grab it.
The two of them mopped up. Sort of. Ness was still leaking snot. Kaiser had a red mark on his cheek from where Ness had hit him. He let Ness kiss him there, but pinched Ness one more time on his fresh bite when he did.
They ended up spooned, Ness squeezing Kaiser’s glittering back to his chest. His scars looked like sequins in the oblique light.
Ness was tired. Plain worn out tired. He was going to sleep, he knew, but it was going to be an empty sort of sleep. No dreams, no newness in the morning. He confessed, a little. “I've never had a fight like that before.”
“And you never will again.” Kaiser sighed. “You didn't like that at all, huh?”
“Who likes fighting?”
“I do. It's good to let it out, you know?”
Ness did not know this. He felt low and stupid and very in love. It was a terrible mix.
“But, if you're not interested, I'll do it with somebody else.”
“Tell me next time there’s somebody else.” He was slurring a little, Ness realized. “I don’t… I won’t mind if you tell me first.”
“Don’t cry again,” Kaiser said. His voice was impossibly smooth. “I will . You’re mine and it’s OK, Ness.”
Ness nodded. He felt so utterly empty there as the magic roiled and spumed against the floor. As it started, finally, to dissolve.
#
They got their lessons the next morning. All of the Sightseeing Invitational were hungover and most of them didn’t have anything prepared. So, they winged it.
Kaiser and De La Fontaine had gotten into at least two screaming matches they’d subsequently laughed off. They were going for a third, maybe a fourth. Fritz and Max played two-on-two with a pair of midbacks. Gesner sat at French Mensah’s feet, reverent and sunburned.
Ness and Snaffi roamed the field, dribbling and passing and stealing from one another. Snaffi did most of the talking, lightly correcting Ness’s posture or asking ‘why are you hopping’, things like that.
By and by, he said, “If you don’t mind me saying so, you seem like you’re too nice to play on Bastard München.”
“Maybe, but it’s where I want to be,” Ness answered. He tried to take the ball off of Snaffi. Snaffi kept it for the time being.
“Hah. Anyway, When we get done here, let me make sure you have my number in case you change your mind.”
“Your number?” It was the only truly earth-shattering thing Ness had heard so far this morning.
“My number. Keeping in mind I have three cell phones.”
“I understand~ And umm, thank you!”
“Nah, don’t thank me ‘till you’re really sick of Noa and… the other guys? Aust? Sander?”
Ness chuckled. “Sander and his firing squad.”
“Yeah, that guy. You see what I mean?”
“Maybe~”
Besides.
You don’t know that I hit somebody I love last night.
Or that part of me thinks I should have done it harder.
Like that would knock the secret out of Kaiser’s head.
I know it won’t. I know, but…
For a brief moment, Snaffi looked at him like he might have been able to know it, the magic riding beside him in Ness, tugging him closer. But Snaffi wasn’t magic. Not even a little.
Nonetheless, he said, “Do you smell raw meat and undergrowth, or is it just me?”
Ness’s eyebrows quirked. He laughed though and he answered, “It’s not just you.” Then he smiled like nothing was wrong.