CarrKicksDoor
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Pansy Parkinson was the last person Neville expected to find in the underbelly of the ministry archives. Neville Longbottom is the absolute last thing Pansy needs disrupting the secluded life she's carefully carved out for herself.
Too bad for both of them, he's never been one to walk away from a flower in need.
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“Hello?” he called out, before knocking on the tightly shut door. The space was so eerily quiet and empty, that for a moment he wondered if anyone had remembered that they were supposed to meet him here. “Erm…I’ve got an appointment? Longbottom? Here to see ah… the… well, I suppose the archivist?”
There was the sound of a chair scraping against the floor and several objects being moved around. Then the door opened just a fraction.
“You’re here about the Malfoy property records?” Asked a prim little voice from behind the barrier.
“I am.”
A pale, delicate hand slipped through the crack in the door and handed him a too-slim folder.
He took note of the slender fingers that held the folder before the hand disappeared once more; they ended in pearlescent pink-tipped nails.
Merlin, he really was a fool for pretty hands.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,239
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Comments:
- 398
- Kudos:
- 596
- Bookmarks:
- 184
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- 14,389
Bookmarked by CarrKicksDoor
20 May 2025
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"No, Gaila. I am not, absolutely not going to walk into Commander Spock’s office and suggest that we pretend to date for an entire summer. I mean, we… I… he’s not… I couldn’t even spend that much time with him, nor would I want to. He’s so… he’s just really… I have professional mores, Gaila. Standards of conduct that this… just, no. No. No, thank you for the idea, but no."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 308,643
- Chapters:
- 41/41
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,132
- Kudos:
- 2,459
- Bookmarks:
- 693
- Hits:
- 69,193
Bookmarked by CarrKicksDoor
03 Aug 2022
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Please Mister Postman by sachertortes
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
28 Jan 2018
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This holiday season, instead of writing Santa, Darcy has been writing to her penpal. Topics of conversation include: life, work, favorite holiday recipes, and that one ridiculously annoying person who gets under her skin.
Bucky has a penpal, too. He tells them about life, music, his best friend’s hilarious failed attempts at getting the girl, and this one person who never fails to aggravate him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,500
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 1,097
- Kudos:
- 2,035
- Bookmarks:
- 443
- Hits:
- 27,436
Bookmarked by CarrKicksDoor
01 Aug 2022
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something to believe in your heart of hearts by napricot
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
24 Jan 2022
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“Bucky’s not my—“ my anything, Sarah almost said, before she swallowed the automatic denial.
Dina was going to be here until the new year. Sarah knew from experience that her mother-in-law could fit a lot of introductions, and blind dates masquerading as friendly dinners, and just plain set-ups into those weeks. The woman was more relentless than a Match.com subscription. But here was an easy way to avoid all of that, and all it would take was one harmless little white lie.
“It’s new and we haven’t really put a label on it yet,” she said. “Just seeing how things go, taking it slow, you know?”
Bucky and Sarah have busy holiday seasons ahead of them: Bucky's reconnecting with his family, and Sarah's former mother-in-law has come to stay for her annual holiday visit. As if that wasn't enough, Sarah and Bucky both have to deal with well-meaning relatives trying to set them up with other people when that's the last thing they want or need. There's a simple solution to that problem though, in the form of one little white lie to get them through the stressful holiday season. They can claim to be dating each other.
Bookmarked by CarrKicksDoor
20 Jul 2022
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MARRY, FUCK, KILL by sevenfoxes for metonymy
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
08 Apr 2014
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"Actually, you know, I get it. Rogers would be an excellent MARRY choice. You know that he'd never leave the toilet seat up, would never drink the last of the milk, and would clean the rain gutters without prompting," Darcy says. She's never really considered Steve as anything other than Captain America who is impossibly unapproachable; weirdly enough, the things she finds intimidating about him as a person oddly work for her in a domestic setting. "Ugh, plus you just KNOW Barton would be the type of fucker that would eat the last oreo and then shove the empty box back into the cupboard."
"So what's your list then, Darcy?" Jane asks, turning back to look at the mold, which has done exactly fuck all in the last half-hour.
"Don't rush me! I need to make an informed, calculated choice."
Darcy looks down at her pad, then back up at Natasha. She purses her lips in thought. "You've fucked Barnes, right? How dexterous is that metal hand?"
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The ladies of SHIELD play a mass game of MARRY FUCK KILL, Avengers edition.
Wherein everyone marries Steve, kills Tony, Jane betrays science and Darcy hypothetically turns Thor into a llama.
Series
- Part 1 of MARRY FUCK KILL
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,116
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 479
- Kudos:
- 6,757
- Bookmarks:
- 1,419
- Hits:
- 98,374
Bookmarked by CarrKicksDoor
16 Jun 2022