18 Works in Thirsty Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch
Listing Works
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I don't just like, I adore you by fiend-for-culture (caspian)
Fandoms: Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell
28 Dec 2024
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Simon Salisbury is hoping to fix up his home in time for Christmas.
Interior designerHistorical consultant Baz Pitch is here to help.Featuring an ambitious amount of home restoration, comfortable but questionable fashion choices, and learning that good things come to those who wait ❄️❤️🔥
Written for Carry On Countdown 2024
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The Tower Room by artsyillustrations (artsyunderstudy), best__dress
Fandoms: Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell
13 Dec 2023
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Simon "Skywalker" Snow is just getting the hang of his new job as a dancer at The Tower Room, an eclectic Brooklyn strip club.
But who's the rival male dancer watching Simon's performances? He must be plotting something...
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The Haunting of Simon Snow by Iamamythologicalcreature (Jodotha) for Bubblegumhead
Fandoms: Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell
30 Nov 2023
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Simon never expected to take a job repairing fire damage at Pitch Manor. First off, his old schoolmate Dev Pitch never liked him. And there's the small matter of it being an empty, recently-abandoned mansion in the middle of the Hampshire dead spot. But the money's good. The fridge is stocked. There's cell reception. It's fine.
Except, he's starting to think maybe those stories about Pitch Manor being haunted are more than just rumours.
There’s a particular portrait, too, that’s caught his eye. Some stuffed-up tosser with the most pretentious name imaginable. It keeps… Well. It keeps changing. (But that’s not possible. Right?)
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Hung Like a Horse by EarlGreyMage
Fandoms: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
09 Apr 2023
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I’ve also been trying not to think about Baz’s cock.
I wouldn’t be shocked to find out that he made out lucky in that department too. He’s bloody perfect at everything else, and fit too. So it makes sense.
What doesn’t make sense is Penny sitting in front of me at breakfast and immediately telling me, “I need you to find out how big Baz’s dick is.”
“Wha-?!” I start to exclaim before falling into a coughing fit as a piece of bacon that I was chewing on slides down my throat wrong.
Penny rolls her eyes at me while I try to catch my breath. “Oh calm down. I made a bet with Trixie.”
Taking a final deep breath, I level Penny a serious glare. “You made a bet?”
She nods her head, as though it’s perfectly normal for her to be making bets with her roommate (who she hates) about my roommate's cock.
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"I am dangerous! All I do is kill. All I do is go off or kill. Christ, I even killed Rhys’ parakeet.” Snow's voice falters.
“Snow-”
“You saved the school and the dragon! You healed Penelope after my magic burned her arm! You get perfect grades, all the girls fancy you, even Agatha. I wish everything I touched turned to gold like you, but it doesn’t. Everything I touch gets ruined!” he yells, picking up a mug and throwing it on the floor.
It hits the ground with a heavy thud.
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Thighs and Prejudice by BazzyBelle for martsonmars
Fandoms: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms, Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
25 Apr 2022
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When Ruth Salisbury’s long-lost grandson starts attending the club where Baz spends his nights, he knows he’s doomed. Especially when the man starts playing pool and showing off his arse a little too much.
Unfortunately, it is his good friend, Agatha Wellbelove, who is made to suffer through his endless complaints about the young man. As much as she tolerates him, if Baz doesn't do something about his attraction to Simon Salisbury soon, Agatha will be forced to take matters into her own hands.
And she won't be sorry about it.
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A Guy Like You Should Wear A Warning by facewithoutheart
Fandoms: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
19 Feb 2022
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Simon and Baz dress for a Britney Spears themed costume party, driving each other crazy with the scandalous outfits they choose. Shepard’s balcony will never be the same again…
Series
- Part 5 of Inspired by lyrics
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Under the Kitchen Lights (You Still Look Dynamite) by Intrepid_Acetronaut for you_remind_me_of_the_babe
Fandoms: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms, Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
25 Dec 2021
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Baz rounded the corner into the kitchen and crashed into someone much larger than Swithin. He stumbled backwards, knocking into the door frame and nearly tripping over his own feet before a strong hand grasped his arm, steadying him. When he looked up, Baz was staring into a pair of the most ordinary blue eyes.
As Baz gathered his wits about him, he got a good look at the man who was still holding onto his arm and he felt his mouth go dry. The man was a few inches shorter than Baz with broad shoulders and a sturdy build. His skin was tawny and dotted with moles. His bronze hair was a mess of curls, barely contained under a green and red cap. Even dressed like an elf, he was the most handsome man Baz had ever laid eyes on.
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'Quite frankly, I would rather pull out my fingernails with pliers than try and make pleasant conversation with this moron. So I just glare. He stares back, ordinary-blue eyes so wide I could fall into them and be lost forever. He has moles all over his face; three on his right cheek, one above his left eye and at least two below his left ear. His hair, short back and sides, is otherwise a mess of golden-brown curls that I might’ve wanted to run my fingers through if it wasn't for his complete lack of personality. Actually, I might still do it regardless just because. Because they look soft and because I want to and because, really, he has no right looking that good when he’s such a gormless idiot.'
-Baz goes on a blind date
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Shot to the Heart by OtherWorldsIveLivedIn for sconelover
Fandoms: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
04 Apr 2021
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Baz is on the rug. He’s supposed to be dead, probably. Instead he looks up into the barrel of a haphazardly handled gun and the crazed blue eyes of a man in a neon green tracksuit.
Simon’s a thief, just looking to make some easy cash by looting a dead man’s flat. But, turns out, the man isn’t dead after all. (Does that mean he has to kill him?)
OR: The one where Snowbaz agree to be a shitter, low-budget version of Bonnie and Clyde.
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Like Hell by 6643904379cS for philaetos
Fandoms: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms, Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
30 Mar 2021
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It's an important milestone for any mage to summon a familiar, and it's even an easy spell.
What's the worst that could happen?
Simon should know better than that, he messes up simple spells all the time.
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Hot in Here by OtherWorldsIveLivedIn for xivz
Fandoms: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
22 Dec 2020
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Simon Snow can’t dance.
At least, that’s what I thought.CARRY ON COUNTDOWN, DAY 28 - PARTY
(Simon can't ballroom dance, but that boy got moves and I will die on this hill.)
Series
- Part 4 of OtherWorldsIveLivedIn COC2020
- Part 2 of Post-Canon Collection
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Chapter a day advent calendar. (Plus one chapter because one became a two parter.)
Baz finally gets to spend the holidays with the person he loves the most. That is, after Simon has no choice but to go spend Christmas with Baz at Pitch Manor.
Baz is trying to get Simon into the holiday spirit while Simon is trying to get out of Baz’s house.
Then a mysterious gift arrives.
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Raising a Demon 😈 by OtherWorldsIveLivedIn, sconelover for KrisRix
Fandoms: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
30 Oct 2020
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Magickal Life Skills class doesn’t seem like it can get any worse… that is, until the 7th years are given fake Magickal babies to take care of for a week. Tasked with keeping a tiny human alive, Simon and Baz must deal with the trials and tribulations of Magickal parenting, including crying, night feeds, and… explosions?
It’s a chaos demon. Instructions not included.
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Simon Snow is just like everyone else. He has a job managing a bakery and dirty mugs piling up in his room. Except for just one thing: he moonlights as a superhero, The Golden Blade, official protector of Watford City. And a new nemesis has arisen, wreaking havoc and mayhem upon the citizens: the sinister, mysterious Vampire. Simon has to find out what Vampire is up to, all while keeping his identity a secret from everyone - including his prickly flatmate, Baz.
Superhero AU (non-magical) filled with action, pining, baking, oblivious boys, and, of course, plotting. (There's always plotting.)
Series
- Part 1 of Heroverse
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No one knows how it got to Watford. We’ve been on lockdown for a month, yet the Veritas Virus somehow made it here anyways.
The virus isn’t really a health hazard. But it is a hazard. Anyone who is infected can only speak truths for a few days. You can choose not to talk, but if you’re not diligent, it’s easy to let things slip.
Now everyone is quarantined to their dorm rooms. And because I’m a vampire and can’t contract it, I have to pretend I have it due to being in close quarters with Snow.
I don’t think I can survive being trapped in a room with Snow.
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Simon and Baz struggle with intimacy issues a year after The Mage's death/fall of the Humdrum. They make progress and have setbacks. Also Baz meets his match.
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fake diamonds are a boy's best friend by parrishes_and_pitches
Fandoms: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
22 May 2019
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“what the hell did you mean, then? what other sort is there?”
“the fake sort.”
baz sighed. “what are you on about, snow?”
“i mean, what if i fake-proposed to you to get us a free dessert?”simon and baz take the restaurants of london by storm with a series of fake proposals, one objective in mind: to score some free desserts.
Series
- Part 2 of one-word prompts