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Summary
“What weapon do you prefer? Ax or sword?”
“Accidents”, was Bilbo’s bland reply. “Preferably about a month after the initial confrontation if they haven’t apologized yet. It helps allay suspicion.”
Tomatoes used to be considered both poisonous and an aphrodisiac. Idea- it is impossible to poison a hobbit with anything less than a morgul blade. Discuss the Company’s reaction to watching Bilbo eat ‘poisonous’ things. Extra credit if dwarves actually believe salad will kill them.
Series
- Part 1 of Accidents are the Best Weapon
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Uncle Bilbo Is Not Going On Your Adventure by Erisah_Mae
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
30 Jan 2015
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Summary
Gandalf assumes that he is going to be able to bully Bilbo into coming along on the quest for Erebor. You know what they say about people who assume... Bilbo's not going, and nothing Gandalf can say is going to change his mind.
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Character Optimisation by esama
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
02 Jul 2022
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Summary
[Bonus mission, "Me, Myself and I" is now available. Would you like to activate the mission?]
Shen Qingqiu tries to sort himself out. Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge try to help.
Series
- Part 2 of Master of Dual Cultivation
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Razzmatazz by xylophones
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
16 Jul 2021
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Summary
Izuku has plans for everything.
He plans out what to say to the cashier when ordering coffee, he plans out his homework before even opening his textbook. He has a whole ten-year plan for how he’s going to get into UA’s hero course and get his hero license fully quirkless. He plans for every wild, unlikely scenario he can think of because his anxiety gets so bad if he doesn’t go through every possible outcome, every way his life could landslide into disaster–– but Izuku never planned for this.
For once, he doesn’t have a plan and he doesn’t have time to think of one. All he can see is Yagi-san’s lined, kind face looking resigned as he stares down the villain in his shop. Yagi-san, who is the closest thing to a father figure Izuku has ever had.
Izuku doesn’t think. He just moves.
(Or: Izuku saves the number one hero, gets a hero license way earlier than anyone wanted, realizes that maybe hero society isn’t as great as he thought it was, and everything just kind of falls apart from there.)
Series
- Part 1 of Despite Your Good Intentions
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How to Solve a Murder and Incite a Rebellion by Kastaborous
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)
01 Jan 2025
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In unearthing the Nomu Factory, the Heroes and police of Japan discovered a body. This was not unexpected, but the nationality and uniform of the corpse in question… that was. Because this failed Nomu wore the uniform of Amestris, a war torn nation from the isolated continent of Atossa, where Quirks and modern electronics had never developed and never worked.
Edward Elric hoped he could retire from military service in peace, traveling Amestris while his brother Alphonse went to Xing. This is put on hold when now-Führer Mustang asks him to travel to the Outside, to the world beyond that was barricaded for centuries after the development of something called ‘Quirks’. A soldier has been killed and Amestris needs to know more about the Outside.
…
Or, Edward Elric and Amestris meet the greater world of Heroes and Villains. It remains to be seen who’s more traumatized by the encounter.
Series
- Part 1 of Of Heroes, Villains & Alchemists
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Summary
Izuku's quirk is simple, it tells him exactly what he needs to do.
It tells him to grab an umbrella and that afternoon it rains unexpectedly. It tells him to bring cash and it turns out the card reader is out of order.
His quirk tells him to rob a bank.
Well, why not?
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Does the name All for One mean anything to Izuku? Nope.
Will he tear down the empire of a powerful villain who has been terrorizing Japan for over a century anyway? Sure. -
it should have buried you by FlowerCitti
Fandoms: Naruto, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
14 Jul 2021
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Katsuki has always known that there was something inexplicably wrong with him. Before he could even understand what exactly was so wrong, before he even knew what wrong meant, he knew that there was something inside of him that felt displaced.
Or, Uchiha Obito reincarnates as Bakugou Katsuki and it goes about as well as you would expect.
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A dome of green surrounded him and the boy, thrumming with magic the likes of which he had only seen once, in a tome thrice forbidden.
“Oh,” said Loki, almost purring. “You are interesting. What are you?”
Based on ideas from thatgirl_youknowtheone.
Has a TV Tropes page! https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/LifesGreatLie
Series
- Part 21 of Dannymay 2021
- Part 40 of Ectober Fics
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A Second Chance is Like Punching a Gotham Villain.... Don't Miss by Writer_loves_tropes
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types
28 Feb 2023
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Job opening: Housekeeper/Babysitter/Bodyguard for five-year-old Timothy Drake
Requirements: None. Pretending to be Mrs. Mac's son won't even cause the Drakes to do a background check (they won't even bother to check if you're a crime lord that accidentally traveled from another dimension either)
Hours: Negotiable. No extended home visits. Must only drop off food and water twice a week because a five-year-old boy and a houseplant apparently have the same needs.
Start Date: Immediately
Or: An accidental interdimensional teleportation causes the Red Hood to end up pretending to be Jason Mac and being Timmy's babysitter.
This is my story for Febuwhump 2023. 28 Chapters of Whump, Hurt/comfort, Humor, and Fluff! Updated once every day of February.
Series
- Part 1 of A Second Chance at Happiness
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In This or Any Other Universe by wildsofmarch for blueyeti
Fandoms: The Batman (Movie 2022), DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
11 Mar 2023
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There was a new vigilante in his city: a man who smiled too much and talked too loud and knew his way around a fight a little too well. Bruce wasn't bothered by his antics. Except the man also seemed to know a little too much about him.
Who was this Nightwing, anyway?
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OR: Dick Grayson (DCU) accidentally lands himself in Battinson’s Gotham. -
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Summary
Grindelwald is rising. Europe is preparing to war. The prohibition is creating new underground's powers. The Great Depression will soon strike in the entire world. The ISS in threatened every day. The MACUSA is panicking. Albus Dumbledore is facing his old demons. Somewhere, the young Mr Riddle is testing his new powers at the orphanage, unknown to the wizarding world. A certain Obscurus is running around to seek safety. His Magicozoologist friend is running around for reasons.
And Harry... Harry is trying to avoid the worst.Finished but not completed; last chapter is a synopsis of the end.
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oh, how far you are from home by Dialux
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, Game of Thrones (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
13 Feb 2022
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Blood spurts, Joffrey laughs, and Sansa faints away.
She wakes up on... grass?
[Crossover AU, where Joffrey chops Ned Stark's head off and Sansa wakes in Middle Earth to find Boromir on his way to the Council of Elrond. It's not an easy path ahead for either of them, but like hell is Sansa going to let her father out of her sight again, especially when he volunteers to take a demonic ring to the darkest part of the land.]
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Maria vs The Jedi Cult by IzzyMRDB
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
16 Jul 2024
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Summary
Reborn just in time to join the rest of the younglings in asking Master Skywalker what they were going to do because there were too many of them.
Oh well, she had future knowledge, a tendency to be overlooked and forgotten about by the Creche Master, and the reckless abandonment of someone who knows when they die.AKA
Maria, a fan from our world, wakes up in GFFA and decides that she isn't here for a long time, but a good time. She's not here for the whole cult thing of the Jedi, but she will annoy the Sith whenever she can. Though if the Coruscant Guard could be a bit less good at spotting the unaccompanied Jedi child wandering the Senate, that would be appreciated.
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A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
30 Nov 2024
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Summary
After his death at the first siege of the Burial Mounds, Wei Wuxian is thrown back in time to when he was nine years old, just before Jiang Fengmian took him to Lotus Pier with its wavering affection and unpayable mountain of debts. He decides to take the second chance he has been offered, to live freely and without regrets.
As it turns out, a life without regrets involves:
1. Avoiding all attempts to be adopted so you can launch your career as a rogue-cultivating-assassin, while
2. Juggling a hit-list comprised of the cultivation world’s Who’s Who, and
3. Desperately missing your not-boyfriend who picked the worst ever timing to confess his undying love for you.Murder and mayhem to follow.
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A snake's eyes by MaelStromm
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
06 Mar 2021
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Summary
“Are you really reading this awful novel?” Tianlang-Jun blinks as a young but nonetheless sharp voice interrupts his lecture. He looks down to see the two greenest but also sharpest eyes he has ever seen.
Those eyes wouldn’t look out of place on a snake, he muses before sending a kind smile to the child. The young master of a house if his clothes are anything to go by. “Is that so? I thought the plot was interesting.”
A nasty glare - which doesn’t suit the youthful face to say the least - is sent to The Erotic Tales of the Sun Princess. “It’s just a poor excuse to write cheap pornography by someone who has never touched a woman.”
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In which Tianlang-Jun adopts a young Shen Jiu.
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A-Yuan has At Least Three Friends by wenqing (maniafic)
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
30 Nov 2020
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Xiao Jiu wakes up disoriented, surrounded by strangers, and he desperately misses the nice dream where his name was Shen Yuan.
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A mysterious artefact transports Harry back in time to the night his parents were killed. He takes himself, and what remains of Voldemort, and does his best to deal with his new life. When the pressure of sudden single parenthood is too much, he reaches out for help.
Series
- Part 1 of A Developmental Approach
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When I reincarnated in the world of Naruto, I was lucky enough to live in Konoha but not lucky enough to get all the superpowers you could hope for. I failed my jounin-sensei test and ended up in the Genin Corps.
Bye-bye jounin rank! However, considering it also meant avoiding the battlefield, that was fine with me. Now I just had to get a position allowing me to change History...Series
- Part 1 of Kamizuki Maiko
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To play the Prince of Castaways. by llamallamaduck
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Apr 2023
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Summary
Anything can be achieved, provided the conditions are met. Harry James Potter’s ambitions might appear impossible, but, then again, so is his life.
Or
Harry James Potter didn't know what having children meant, who could have them and why they might wish to do so. Harry James Potter just wanted one. Desperately.
Series
- Part 6 of Set in Harry Potter-verse
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As a final stand in a war they never stood a chance of winning, Uzumaki Naruto chooses to use a forbidden blood seal to rip through the fabric of space and time itself rather than admit defeat. He has never been good at accepting his fate, and if bending reality with his own two hands is what it takes, then that’s just what Naruto will do.
The rest of the world is just going to have to suck it up and deal with it.
[OR]
“A time travel seal,” Sakura says numbly, staring at him with wide eyes and a slack jaw once she finally comprehends the excited tirade he has just finished throwing at her.
“A time travel seal,” Naruto confirms, grinning with a mouth full of teeth, eyes manic.
Sasuke sighs, immediately giving up on trying to make sense of anything that comes out of Naruto’s mouth. “Of-fucking-course.”