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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Fair warning, this is a much angrier, ruder, more dirty minded and all around more fed up Ron than in my other stories on here. As a result of this and the general arc of the fic (see below) it is very critical of Harry and Hermione and Snape and the Malfoys. Everyone is a little bit mental and dark in this fic.

    Please note the satire tag, this is a fic that pokes at the plot of Deathly Hallows (and other HP books) …for fun, it’s not a manifesto... and doesn’t actually reflect what I think of the characters - go see some of my other work for more canon tone fics that are more in line with how I actually think. The critique is thus actually aimed at the author (JKR) and the point of this is to be a bit extreme (again for fun and for the sake of satire…)

    Story Summary
    What if the Weasley’s aren’t very impressed with the way Harry handled the war effort and its aftermath? And they know a hell of a lot more about the Wizarding World than Harry and Hermione.

    Ron re-connects with his family, his ex and the Wizarding World while he increasingly disconnects from Harry and Hermione. Eventual Ron/Lavender. Not epilogue-compliant.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,586
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    3,905
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Do you want to read a very smart, very brave, and very pissed off Ginny Weasley read the entire Order to the filth? Then you've come to the right place!

    "This war affects my life and its outcome is going to affect my future family's. Now I don't know what you all think about us but if you think that we are just going to sit back while you build the world WE are supposed to live in then I'm sorry to disappoint you."

    Because really, in times of war should age be our top priority?

    Or how the Order meeting in OotP should've gone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,095
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    15
    Hits:
    248
  3. Tags
    Summary

    They never wanted to be shackled together in the first place, but after being unexpectedly torn apart, Draco and Hermione find it difficult to remember why.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,731
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    217
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Harry innocently tweets asking what "ily" means, unaware of its romantic context.
    Ginny sees the tweet and is immediately suspicious and a little amused.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,470
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    333
  5. Tags
    Summary

    After the war a rehabilitation effort by the ministry of magic lands Draco Malfoy back at Hogwarts. Nothing could have prepared him for the mess he was going to make of himself, and certainly nothing could have prepared him for Hermione Granger.

    Tags updated as I write!!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,212
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    83
  6. Tags
    Summary

    When two people realize they might not hate one another as much as they had thought, they allow themselves to expand their circle of trust and find that they might just be exactly what the other needs to make it through this war.

    For Draco, this means setting aside his pride and asking the Golden Girl for help.

    For Hermione, this means acknowledging that there's more to the story than what she 'knows'.

    For the both of them, this means putting their trust in someone they once considered an enemy.

    ***
    Before he could stop himself, the words fell from his mouth.

    “A lot has happened in the last couple years, and I’ve come face to face with a few things,” he took a deep breath that hitched midway through. “I was wrong about more than I care to admit right now. I’m still figuring it all out. So, I’ll keep walking the halls and be the arrogant prick I am, to keep up appearances until its safe not to. But I can tell you this, Granger. I don’t want to be another one of your, or anyone’s, monsters.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    189,146
    Chapters:
    29/29
    Comments:
    141
    Kudos:
    273
    Bookmarks:
    108
    Hits:
    12,238
  7. Tags
    Summary

    We all know how Fanfics show Harry either as a UwU boy or a Super genius, or worse.
    Well what if Harry had actual common sense?
    Not the 'I'll tell the adults' like the book, but an 'It's not my problem, you deal with it Dumbledore' mentality ?
    +Ginny being totally with this

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,210
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    713
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Snape, as the new headmaster, sets up a job fair, where the students can learn a bit about different jobs in the magical community.
    Rodolphus, who has his own mortuary and is quite happy only being surrounded by dead people and, occasionally, his brother, gets invited too.

    Has he mentioned that he doesn't like the living very much? Don't even start with children.

    "He chewed on his black nails and hoped that none of these pests would actually show up. His chances were high, right? What sane student would want a look at a mortuary run by a notorious deatheater rumored to be off-the-rocks crazy?
    Which sane student would go to a mortuary at all?
    He almost bit his nail off, when the door to the classroom actually opened to reveal 4 students."

    Inspired by "The Mortuary Assistant."

    Mind the tags

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,666
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    142
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione Granger is the savior of all. At least, she was to five Slytherins who adored her.

    If you asked Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Daphne Greengrass, Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott, they owed their lives to Hermione Granger. She'd saved their reputations, their social lives, and their ability to trust.

    Needless to say, they loved Hermione Granger, and would do anything to keep her in their lives.

    Well, anything except read her diary...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,164
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    460
    Bookmarks:
    322
    Hits:
    22,263
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson set out to celebrate their stag nights together before getting married, as per their betrothal agreement. Sick and tired of their respective virginities, the two decide to visit The Cellar: An underground sex party where anonymity is required and exploration is encouraged.

    But, what happens in the Cellar does not stay in the Cellar. And when Draco can't walk away from the taste of the faceless woman who changed his life...

    All he knows is her stage name: ALICE.

    Turns out, it will definitely be him going down the rabbit hole after all.

    The glory hole Veela fic to satisfy your filthy minds. <3

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,691
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1,981
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Three young witches attend their last year of Hogwarts after the war, each facing a vastly different future. Hermione wants to change the world for the better, studying to join the Ministry, where she can campaign for equal rights for wizards and magical creatures. Ginny wants to find direction, trudging through a year with almost all her friends graduated or not returning. Andi — well, she just wants to survive, but that's easier said than done when you're a daughter of a Death Eater, not to mention Slytherin's only returning Prefect.

    At first, they seem to have little in common — but, under the unique guidance of Professor Snape, they soon realise they still have far more to learn than magic. Some lessons can only be taught by those who learned the hard way, and Snape knows better than anyone what it's like to lack a place in the world. Together, the three girls discover that there's far more to life than they realised — and far more to themselves, as well.

    Consists of: found family, mentorship, and the joys and agonies of being a young adult in a world that expects you to have that figured out already.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,806
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    71
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    4,674
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Molly and Arthur Weasley spank their kids. Bill and Charlie sometimes spank their younger siblings. Sometimes. This does not reflect the authors view on the subject. Don't like? There's a little x on the tab. Press it. It's that easy.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,354
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    2,127
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Ginny was having a perfectly normal Wednesday morning until Draco Malfoy announced that she was his girlfriend. Desperate times can sometimes call for desperate measures, and maybe his act of desperation was exactly what Ginny had been looking for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,888
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1,511
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Five days she's been missing.
    Ginny, his love.
    When her portrait activates, it can mean only one thing...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,904
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    291
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Euphemia Rose Potter didn’t like her full name, neither did she like what aunt Petunia called her, Effie (“you, girl” was what she’d get from uncle Vernon). “I’m Mia, just Mia,” she would say to herself, and later, to other people, when she finally had someone who’d listen to her.

     

    This is how I would start a story of the Girl Who Lived. But what I present to you is just a chapter of Mia Potter’s life, a chapter in which she struggles with expectations placed on her, starts to realise something important about herself, and takes her best friend to the ball.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,971
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    656
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione Granger gave her life to public service, believing in the incontrovertible triumph of knowledge over politics. Little did she know that a laser focus on economic viability and social reform would put her on a path to one of the most powerful positions in Washington. Now, with a nation watching, an extremely distracting boss, and an opportunity to be the change she always dreamed of, Hermione must decide who is in charge of her life: the nation, or herself?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,602
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    77
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter is the boy who lived, but what to do when he’s now actually allowed to live?

     

    (Eighth year and oblivious teenagers)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,049
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    152
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1,709
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Draco gets hurt while helping Ginny (through she really didn't need it) and she patches him up with the help of Dobby. Based off the scene in "Beauty and the Beast" specifically the 1991 one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,007
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    302
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione Granger goes back to Hogwarts with the Golden Trio, looking for crisp Outstandings and irrefutable NEWTs to be recognized by the Ministry for their aptitude and not their Titles as War Heroes.
    Draco Malfoy goes back to Hogwarts because he has to, as do his friends. He is so over the Golden Girl though. This year he will have the top marks.
    They all share a common room. They all share Muggle Studies. Oh god! They were all roomates!

    And Luna makes a club and everyone has to go.

    What can happen when the pressure of war and prejudice is gone from witches and wizards minds? Could they make amends? Will Crookshanks ever forgive Hermione? How many tapes has Hermione's father made? Stick around and find out!

    I intend this to be very fluffy, awkward and as weird as possible, because everyone at 18 is weird. No one liked the war here, mostly! Hopefully they can escape its memory

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,906
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    3,218
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When Madame Hooch owls Ginny Weasley with a request to come back to Hogwarts to teach a weekend quidditch clinic to interested students, Ginny doesn’t hesitate to say yes. She needs an easy weekend where she doesn’t have to deal with the bullshit of the press, who do nothing but hound her about being Harry Potter’s ex.

    But somehow, Hooch forgets to mention that Ginny won’t be running the clinic alone, and there, standing a meter to her left, is none other than Oliver Wood, starting Keeper for the Falmouth Falcons.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,987
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1,525

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