Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I take my earphone off as I hear the little bell ring from the entrance. I sit up straight as I see the brown mop of hair of the customer making its way to the opposite corner of the store, to the vibrators section. I smirk. Fifth guy today, guess I’m going to have to tell Allura she lost today’s bet. She had told me that she rarely ever saw guys walk in the shop, as if they were shy or something and ordered everything online. I had asked if I was an exception but then she shooed me away, since I was an employee and not a customer. I didn’t count. She’s right on that I guess.

It’s been 10 minutes and the guy hasn’t moved. I’m hesitating between putting my earphones back in or going to see if this idiot would actually be trying to steal a plastic penis instead of paying for it. I sigh and untangle myself from my iphone before slowly creeping up on the dude.

“Sir?” I ask.

The guy not only jumps but seriously staggers. He then turns around as he holds the flashiest pink dildo of the entire wall. Once he notices that I’ve been staring at his hands, he realizes what’s in them. It drops to the floor and he raises his hands innocently as if a cop had just threatened to arrest him.

“Wow, man.” I say. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you or anything.”
“Pffft. M-Me? Scared?... I just… I’m…”
“You?”

He sighs.

“I came here to pick up something for my girlfriend.”
“Sure…” I add, crossing my arms skeptically.

He takes a step towards me and stands taller, looking a bit more aggravated than a minute ago. Still though, I unfold my arms and perk up a bit. If this douche wants to fight, I have no problem with it.

“Are you trying to say something, midget?” He says.
“Midget?” I scoff. “That’s the best you could come up with?”

He raises his fist and my instinct kicks in. I grab his wrist and less than a second later he’s kneeling in front of me, his arm painfully stretched against his back.

“Hey man! Bud! Buddy! Stop! I’ll buy something, please, just stop.”

I quickly let go, already imagining what Allura will say when she sees the security footage. Guess I’ll need a new job.

The idiotic dude stands back up, fixing his dumb green coat back on his shoulders. He then turns to the wall but probably decides that he suddenly needs help.

“I have no idea what I have to buy.” He says.

I sigh in desperation, not even trying to hide my annoyance.

“What does she like?” I ask.

His blue eyes dart back to the wall and I’m probably imagining the feint peachy tone on his tanned cheeks.

“She likes… In fact, she’s never done it?”
“Wait a minute?” I start. “You want to offer your virgin girlfriend a 10 inch pink dildo?”

I pick it up and show it off to him again as my incredulous face depicts how stupid I think he is.

“NO! You fucktard!” He says, slapping the dildo off my hand.

It falls to the floor and wriggles on his foot. The guy recoils and squeaks as if some sort of disgusting bug laid eyes on him.

I blink a few times until a laugh climbs its way out of my mouth. I chuckle behind my hand until the other retard joins me. It lasts a good 2 minutes and I notice the creases besides his lips when he smiles. He may be a douche but he at least has the looks to make up for it. I take a deep breath and calm down.

“Seriously, what can I get you?” I ask.

The boy stops laughing immediately and turns to face the wall. I slap a hand over his shoulder and he jumps again. Why the fuck is he so tense? Was he really about to steal the pink cock before I interrupted?

“Hey, listen.” I say. “It’s perfectly fine to shop for sex toys. You’re not in a church and no one will judge you here.”
“But you do.” He smirks.
“You’re right.” I add. “I’m questioning your judgment with virgin ladies.”

He chuckles but it all seems fake.

“So, I need something not too big.” He starts. “Something that goes in easily a-and…maybe something that has various vibrations and hum…maybe lube. Definitely lube. Loads of lube.”

I glance at him and his cheeks seem on fire. Is he really here for a girl? I know better than asking, cause he’ll be pissed again. Ah heck, why not?

“That’s a lot of lube. Are you sure it’s not for you?”

His head snaps back towards me and he shakes it frantically.

“What the fuck, no!”
“Alright, alright!” I raise my hands. “Calm down.”
“I’m not like that.” He says.
“Like what?” I ask.
“Gay. I’m not like these people.”
“These people? WOW, you’re speaking as if gays have a disease or something.”
“NO!” He says, face palming himself. “I just… I’m not like this. I have nothing against it, I like it…I mean.”
“I hope so, cause I’m gay, so I would’ve had to break your neck.”
“No way.” He laughs.

I fold my arms and take a step back.

“I. AM. GAY.” I repeat.
“You don’t look gay.” He says.
“WOW.” I say as I start shaking my fingers. “Sorry for not being disguised as a fucking unicorn with a rainbow coming out of its ass.”

He takes a step towards me and grabs my wrist before speaking:

“DUDE! I mean no arm, why do you get offended so easily? Is it something about the emo haircut?”
“You’re dead!” I shout.

He let’s go of me and suddenly runs to the other isle. I feel like a fucking child playing tag and I don’t let him anywhere near the door. If I’m gonna lose this job, I at least am going to make it worth it.

“Come here you tall fuck!”
“LANCE! The name’s Lance.”
“How nice, are you missing your balls as well?” I scoff.
“Very fucking funny.” He says as he runs back to the vibrator row.

I’m too far to see the entire scene, but I can imagine it perfectly as I see his head disappear and his feet take its place. He just stepped and rolled on that dumb dildo. I hope he’s not dead.

I sprint back to the tiny area and notice the guy on the floor, eyes closed and visibly unconscious. FUCK.
I kneel beside him and quickly take his pulse. He’s breathing, his pulse is fine and there’s no blood coming out of anywhere. I’m about to haul him on my back when he suddenly speaks.

“That’s the lamest thing that’s ever happened to me.” He says and then starts laughing.

I fall back on my ass, relieved but also strangely amused. I wipe the sweat off my face and my eyes catch a glimpse of the guy’s perfectly toned stomach. I swallow hard and get back up, shaking the thoughts out of my head.

“Come on Lance.” I say, offering him my hand.

He grabs it and gets back to his feet. I bend down to pick up the dildo and he bends down at the same time. Our heads collide and we both fall heavily on our butts again.

“What the fuck?” I say. “Are you a magnet for this type of thing?”
“A what?” He asks, rubbing his forehead.
“Does this shit, the clumsiness, happen often to you?”
“OH that, yeah.” He smirks and offers me his hand as we both get up, dildo in hand this time.

I place it back on the shelf and turn around taking a few steps towards my counter. I glance back and he follows me.

“Still there?” I say.
“I’m sorry.”
“What now?”
“I didn’t mean that gays are different or not okay or whatever you thought. I’m fairly new to this so I’m not sure how to act.”

I pause and face him.

“So you’re…” I ask and he offers me a shy smile. “I fucking knew it!”
“Yeah yeah, no need to scream.” He adds.
“So YOU are the virgin.” I smirk. “Well I got what you need, friend.”

I grab his arm and shove him back in front of the plastic cocks. I lean over his stretched arm and my chest brushes against him. I ignore the tingling sensation and grab what I need.

“See this?” I ask. “These balls have different sizes because it’s meant for stretching. As a virgin, that’s what you need to do. You need to practice.”

He looks at it and doesn’t quite seem to understand how it works. I sigh.

“Lance…you just shove the small ball inside and then the next one, until you get to the last. You have to be stretched enough for your partner to… you know.”
“I don’t have a partner.” He rushes to say. “I was looking mainly at things I can do by myself.”

My cheeks suddenly feel a bit heated and I try to calm down as my brain gets filled with images of him bended over a table in front of me.

“Where’s the fun in that?” I smirk. “You…you should get this one…b-because it vibrates too and it’s fun.”
“You tried?” He asks, his eyes clearly begging for details.
“I have one at home.” I say. “I have several different ones in fact but nothing compares to the real thing.”

He nods and suddenly seems flustered and lost in thoughts.

“Or… You could go with this one.”

I grab another toy and is similar but he shakes his head and points at the first one I showed.

“I’ll take this.”
“Alright.” I pass beside him and lead him to the lubes.
“There are plenty of flavors as you can see but I guess you’ve never done a rimjob so you don’t need to buy it flavored for yourself only. This one’s good.”
“I want it flavored.” He adds shyly.
“Okay…hum. Sure.” I give him the one we have that’s named ‘Big banana’ as it tastes like those marshmallow bananas that everyone loves. “Are you gonna like…try and suck your own dick or something?”

I snort and he laughs.

“Do you like this flavor?” He asks, his eyes suddenly daring and pinning my soul to a non-existing wall.
“Hum. Yes. Sure. I…guess.”

He seems disappointed and the idiot that I am suddenly starts wondering what is wrong with me. I hate that fucker. I’ve hated him since he walked in. Do I? Do I really? I mean, the fact that he seems disappointed sort of bothers me. What did he expect? A diary of my sexual life?

“Alright.” He says. “Gonna pay for this now.”

He gets to the cash and I follow, my gaze desperately gliding down the guy’s back as I do.

“You were going to steal that pink cock, weren’t you?” I say.
“I guess we’ll never know.” He smirks.

A moment later, he pays whatever’s due and as I hand him the bag, my brain is urging me not to talk but of course I still do.

“Do you need help with that?” I ask.

His eyes leave his receipt and stare blankly back at me.

“What was that?” He says, his face entirely red.
“You heard me.” I say.
“You called me fucktard, you hate me!” He laughs, his sharp jaw slightly hanging.
“Sorry I have low people skills.” I say. “But my other talents make up for it. I guess you’ll just have to figure it out on your own then.”

I turn around, aggravated and slightly weirdly humiliated. I shove my earphones back in and pretend to clean the back counter when I abruptly get shoved against it. I turn around and Lance is there, behind the counter, facing me with a carnal glare.

“FUCK! Are you a psycho?” I shout. “You have a death wish or something?”
“Teach me.” He orders. “I’m hard just looking at you.”

I smirk and relax.

“You went from having a girlfriend, to not being gay, to being gay, to being extremely fucking gay, to almost sexually assaulting me. I’d say you’re on roll.”

He steps back, realizing that this might look a bit odd and even a bit illegal to some people. I see his face fall apart as his confidence leaves him and gets replaced by guilt.

“I’m so s-“

I grab him by the neck and roughly press my mouth against his. I sit back on the counter and wrap my legs around his ass, pressing him closer to me. It only takes a few seconds before he starts returning the kiss and pushing himself against me. I pull away for a second and whisper:

“I’m Keith, so you know what to scream when the emo guy’ll make you lose your mind.

Chapter Text

“Are you sure we can do this here?” Lance asks.
“You’ll be fine.”
“I mean, we don’t have a lot of space.” He adds.

I sigh and slightly open the car door.

“Kidding!” Lance says clearly panicked.

I smirk and shut back the door.

“You don’t need space for what I’m going to do to you.”

He swallows loudly and I find a great pleasure licking my lips to make him even more uncomfortable. I mean...how many times in my life am I going to get so lucky?

I take the bag off his hands and side-glance at him. He really doesn’t seem well. Perhaps the little trip to the car was enough to get him to back off...
I set the bag down on the seat and immediately shove my mouth back against his. I then proceed to climb awkwardly on him in straddling position.

0.5 seconds have gone and his boner is back. I grind against him and I feel my pants tightening. He pushes me back as he tries to fix his pants, clearly suffering the same fate as mine. Fortunately for him, I know just what to do.

“Ready?” I ask.

He nods hesitantly. I sit back beside him and let my frail fingers undo his button and zipper. He mumbles something like “oh god” and then stares back at me. I smile as I inch his pants down and let his cock spring free. Holy shit did I not expect such a perfectly shaped one... I wish I could’ve taken more time to admire the view, but there was no way I was letting these pleading eyes wait any longer. I place myself on all four to be able to be as comfortable as possible at the back of my shitty Mazda while my mouth finds the length that I never imagined I’d turn obsessed with.

“Oh my fucking god.” Lance says, slapping his hand over his mouth. “No girl can do this as good as you man...oh my fucking god.”

I let it out with a pop and gaze up at him.

“Thanks for the compliment, but never compare me to a girl ever again. Clear?”

He nods quickly and I get back to work. I can feel him pulse inside my mouth so I hum several times in a row, knowing just how good that feels.

“Keith...Shit...” He says, arching his back against the seat.

I pull back slowly, making sure his gaze meets mine as I suck harder than I have before. I then sit back.

“Don’t you dare come. I’m about to teach you some stuff.” I say as I find the bag again.
“I’m all fucking ears baby!” He says.

I snort at his stupid finger guns. As if. What kind of shitty flirting technique is that. I don’t mention it though, because...I secretly might find it somewhat cute. But no...really not.
Okay...maybe just a little.
Who knew I’d fall for clichés. Or perhaps it’s the thing between his legs that’s got me all fucked up now.

“Okay, so you’re going to use this dildo on me since we don’t have time or space to do it on you.”

His eyes widen.

“First, you’re going to rub some banana lube there and on the dildo. Then you’ll shove a finger in to see how it feels. And then you’ll start stretching me with the dildo okay?”
“The...Do I have to do the...tongue thing?”
“Rimjob?” I ask. “Hell no, you’re so not ready for this. We’ll start with basics.”
“I’m ready for anything. You got me all nervous here but I’m generally the one in charge.”

I scoff.

“In charge?” I smirk. “Yeah okay Mr. Lance. We’ll see just how in charge you are once I ride your dick.”

I don’t wait for an answer and carefully take off my shirt, making sure the lamp post light reflects long enough on my stomach. He stares and his eyes widen as my hands playfully undo my pants.
His hands suddenly reach up for the hem of my boxers. I can’t say I’m that surprised, but still it’s unexpected. He pushes them down, smiles and then gently face palms himself when he sees my dick. I’m about to throw a punch but he speaks quickly.

“You are so fucking hot. How the hell can you look like this?” He says, gesturing up and down.

I blush but thankfully he can’t see that in the dim back of the car. He hesitantly inches closer and gazes up at me. I look away, pretending to move my hair out of my face. That’s when I feel the heat. I jump at the touch. He’s sucking me off and wow does it feel good or what. He grabs my balls gently as his head bobs up and down.

“Y-You are one t-talented motherfucker.” I say before he pauses and sits back.
“I think I have no gag reflex.” He says.
“Holy shit.” I say, grabbing a fist of his hair and shoving my cock back into his mouth.

I let go and let him do his thing. I appreciate every minute of it, but then I remember the point is to teach him stuff and get laid.

“S-Stop. Lance, Stop.”

He pulls back, out of breath.

“I’m gonna need you to look at what I’m doing because there is no way it’ll be fast enough if you do it.”

He nods.

I waste no time and pull the lube out. I throw the dildo at lance along with the cleaning toy spray. He does what he’s told and then suddenly I hear nothing. He is gazing at me fingering myself. His cock twitches and it makes my own dick even harder.

“Ok. Ok. Enough lube I think. I can manage.” I say. “Now stretching.”

I take the dildo from him and shove the first tiny ball inside without any sort of effort.

“Stretching usually takes longer but I’m willing to make this quick, I’m so fucking hard.”

Lance nods, his jaw slightly hanging as I get two more balls in.

“Almost there.” I add.

His hand finds my butt cheek and I jolt...maybe out of pleasure, maybe out of surprise. Either way, it gives him enough confidence to grab my ass with both hands, pulling me towards him. The 4th ball is in and now the 5th is slowly making its way. Lance bites his lip and presses the fifth ball in. I wince at the sharp pain and then glare at him.

He smirks. That asshole.

“Motherfucker. I’m going as fast as I can. Keep this up if you want to die.” I mutter.
“I like threats if they’re coming from you.” He replies.

My dick twitches and that’s it. I pull out the dildo and immediately get back to straddling Lance. I grab his hair and press his head back against the seat as my other hand finds his cock. I press it against my entrance and clench my jaw as I feel the thickness of it enter me.
Lance shivers and lets out a moan.

I ease myself down on him before I start moving slowly, adding some lube as I go. Lance’s eyes roll back. I raise his arms, and awkwardly remove his shirt. The view is great to say the least. I’m glad I had a peek inside the store before, but now...this is something else. A fucking tanned god is what is there in front of me. His cock buried deep inside my ass.

“You okay?” I ask.
“Better than okay.” He says. “This is...man...your ass is mine, i’m never letting you go.”
“Creepy” I laugh, letting myself roughly fall back down on his length. “But I like it.”

His hooded eyes make me feel so fucking powerful that I can’t stop jumping up and down. Not caring that Lance’s moans, tangled with mine, must be heard from around the block. Not caring that the car moving the way it does, could look suspicious to some people. Not caring that I just got fucked by a complete stranger in the middle of the evening. Not caring that my fucking heart flutters as he repeatedly says my name, begging for the release that I’m about to grant him. And I do...I wrap his hand around my dick and he strokes me hard as I keep bouncing on his tanned hips. I bite my shirt as I feel my release come. I arch myself and try to ignore the shivers running through my spine as the orgasm flows through my body. I try to ignore Lance’s arms, suddenly circling my waist as his lips join mine. It’s an awkward kiss as he rides his orgasm down, but it clearly is one I’ll remember as a shock runs through me. Time pauses and he presses his lips on mine again. I try to breathe, but I feel like my lungs have ran away. I carefully open my eyes and see the blue orbs gazing up at me. He’s out of breath as well, but manages to speak.

“I am so gay.” He says.

I snort and then explode into full laughter as he leans back against the seat.