Chapter Text
[Poosh Middle School]
It was the first day, and it was lunch. Vanity stared at Amazon, barely holding back her urges to kill her. Everything she's doing right now goes against her programming. Temperance just looked down on them. His urges were easy to control. Omega was furious about even the idea. He whispered "EXTERMINATE.." reloading his gun every five seconds.
The Determinator was analyzing them. He already worked out that the eye was the weakest point, and that Dalekanium would sell for a lot. I think you can see what his plans were. The Amazon shared Vanity's urges, gripping her laser screwdriver. The Analyst was shaking in anger. Disgusting, hateful, pitiless beings in front of him. The things that killed his mom, in front of him. It's not fair.
But Maim and The Writer were abnormally open to the idea. Since nobody could see him doing it, Maim sent the complimentary Midnight Vid-Game to The Writer's Voltaic pencil. He could now use his pencil to download the game on his terminal. The Writer sneaked a slice of his lunch, cookies and cream topped apple pie. His mom knows he loves pie.
Fun Fact about Writer; His mother's human. His dad went to Earth for a mission, fell in love with an Earthling, had two children, and then he brought her to Gallifrey. Opinions were mixed, but mostly leaning towards disapproval. Although, she knew lots of Earth recipes, allowing her to bribe the Gallifreyan government into letting her stay. This also explains his weird infatuation towards Earth and it's defenders; The Doctor, UNIT, and the secret team known as Torchwood.
Maim opened up his shell and consumed the treat, immediately loving it. He didn't get lunch as he hated Poosh food. He put his plunger on Writer's scarf, startling him.
"Whuh- Agh.. Dammit Maim, you scared me. Don't touch my scarf, I got this one when I was stalking the Doctor on this Ark, and then he got a new scarf, and he dropped this one, so I took it. So don't touch it. It's really rare. What do you want anyway?"
"I WOULD LIKE SOME MORE PIE. YOUR SCARF LOOKS DESTROYED."
"Shut it about my scarf. And no, I only got two slices. You think every Time Lord's rich?"
"I REQUIRE PIE."
"Okay, okay, fine. Whatever. I'll get on my TARDIS and steal some from Earth. See you in 20 rels."
The Writer walked up to the Lunch monitor and asked to go to the bathroom, before running to the TARDIS storage room, going inside, going into Earth, stealing an entire pie and a chocolate croissant, and going back to his TARDIS, and going back to Maim, but in 23 rels, breaking his promise.
"Here you go." He hands him half a pie, shoving his croissant into his face. A side effect of being half human is that he needs to eat, drink, and sleep more often, and has some sense of morality, to his dismay.
Maim eats the entire half-pie, growing more obsessed with the food. He needs more pie.
Science class begins, The Analyst, The Writer's, and Temperance's favorite subjects. Besides one of the Poosh Teachers, it was also half taught by Davros. He sprinkled on a bit of Dalek Propaganda, even straight up telling the Time Lords to kill themselves. He was kicked out, much to his dismay. After whispering something to Omega, the teacher was found dead in the bathroom stall.
The Writer found the body, but before reporting it, he nicked all of his money and valuable possessions, and peed on him as he was in the stall he was going to.
Meanwhile Maim was thinking about Pie. He needed it. He really, REALLY needed it. After school, instead of going to his dorm (he was meant to be roommates with Writer, as with all the other Daleks who were meant to be roommates with their Time Lord peers) he went to the store, buying the Poosh Worm Honey Pie. It wasn't like the sweet, savory apple pie he had tasted. Nothing like it. God, he needed pie. He entered the school by exterminating the doors, entered the Analyst's TARDIS, and managed to fly his TARDIS to 14th century England, to the chamber of King Henry's Master Cooks.
The Cooks woke up, obviously startled about seeing this weird, white thing suddenly materialize out of nowhere and seeing this machine come out.
"I REQUIRE APPLE PIE."
"What the devil are you?!"
"I MUST EAT APPLE PIE. GIVE ME APPLE PIE."
"What is this.. Apple Pie?"
"APPLES. IN PIE. I MUST EAT MORE."
"Apples? In pie... the king would love this.. Men! To the kitchen we go!"
Maim suddenly realized he accidentally invented Apple Pie. He felt kind of.. happy, actually. He walked inside of the Analyst's TARDIS, going to 21st century England instead.
He walked up to a store. The shop owner screamed in fear.
"OH MY GOD.. DALEKS! THEY'RE REAL! My parents weren't lying when they told me Uncle Grant died because of one of you.." She threw a pie at Maim, and he then proceeded to exterminate her in self defence.
He took all the pie, and left.
{The Next Day}
Maim and the others were in class. The Writer looked at Maim, he knew something was weird about his unlikely friend and roommate. His little red dalek shell was moving his plunger and blaster around anxiously, and then lunch hit. The Writer sat next to Maim.
"Hey, so I saw the doors were opened early today, so I went inside my TARDIS and I killed Queen Elizabeth the II by giving her multiple myeloma. It was so easy, see, I installed this thing into my-"
He then watched as Maim pulled out about six or seven pies, he didn't get to see how much because he ate them all immediately. Tin and all.
"AHH.. PIE... OH PIE.... I LOVE IT. THANK YOU, WRITER. THANK YOU. I MUST HAVE MORE THOUGH... MORE.."
The Writer was staring concerningly as his roommate gushed over the food he introduced him too. He stared at the cup of ice cream he brought to lunch today. He lost his appetite. He wasn't even feeling this sorry when he killed the queen.
[Dorms]
It was a saturday night, The Writer was playing Human Vid-Games like Terraria, when someone plungered on his door. It was Temperance.
"Time Lord, I require your assistance. As you may know, our peer, Maim, has developed an addiction relating to the human food apple pie. I must ask you to stop this addiction before it takes over his life. One day, I will meet you in the field of battle, and I promise your death will be painless if you honor my request."
He just stared at him.
"You accept then?"
...
"Hm. Please resolve this quickly, Writer. I fear Maim is heading down a dark path."
He shut the door and continued playing Vid-Games, whilst the sound of The Amazon and The Determinator uh.. partying could be heard through the thin walls.
{Monday}
It was time for lunch again. This time Maim came back with a bigger stack of pies than ever. Even Omega and the Analyst were concerned at his sudden pie loving attitude. He kept eating, eating, and eating. He had, what, like seventeen pies on there? After lunch, the Writer asks Maim to come to the bathroom with him, and he obliges.
"Say ah."
"AH."
"No, like, open your shell you goddamn idiot."
He was visibly disgusted at the sight of the mutant human. He had a weird, big toe looking thing, one opened eye, and a hell of a lot of things attached to him. He put his Voltaic Pencil on his brain area, and started the scanner.
"Hang on tight..." It took about a minute and thirty seconds before he got usable results.
"Alright Maim. So, since the Daleks couldn't purge all of the 'humanity' out of you, you can develop addictions. Which explains your pie loving. Look, I know Skaro food is bad, but it being so bad that when you finally eat something good you immediately become addicted to it is ridiculous. My advice? Stop eating pie. Worked for me and cocaine. I swear, it sucks being a gang member with all of the things you gotta do."
"BUT.. I LOVE PIE. IT IS NOT AN ADDICTION! I REQUIRE MORE PIE! MORE PIE!"
"Whoa, whoa, Maim, relax, just-"
"SHUT UP!" He rolled out of the bathroom. At least Temperance spoke softly. The Writer went to the Analyst during Science class, now fully run by Davros, which mysteriously all the time lords there have F minuses, and told him the results.
"Hey, Anal."
"Oh God. Don't.. call me that.. PLEASE."
"Mhm. Okay, Anal. Anyway, I scanned Maim's brain with my Voltaic Pencil, and I found that he developed an addiction to pie out of all things."
"You should have killed him. Like, you had a Dalek unshelled, with a weaponized sonic pencil, and all you did was scan it's brain? Jeez. Anyway, we did study humans during kindergarten. The class where we solved cancer was pretty fun. But, anyway, I do remember that one of our Time Lord drugs, Healer, also cured mental problems, besides just physical. If you could stab the needle into Maim when you get him unshelled, you may be able to cure him. I don't know though."
All he needed to hear. He drove his TARDIS to Gallifrey and bought Healer for ridiculous prices. I mean seriously, 200 units for ONE needle? After school, he went up to Maim. They were both in the dorms, relaxing.
"Hey, Maim. Open up."
Maim refused. "NO. YOU WILL JUST SCAN MY BRAIN AND TELL ME FALSE THINGS ABOUT PIE. IT IS NOT AN ADDICTION, I CAN QUIT WHENEVER I WANT TO, AND I JUST DON'T RIGHT NOW."
"So this is how we're doing this huh.." He loaded some Artron Charges into his Voltaic Pencil, and shot at Maim. Of course, he fought back, launching some lasers at The Writer. Eventually, the pain was too much, and he opened his shell as some kind of surrender. The Writer stabbed the Healer into the Veins of the Dalek, curing it of his pie addiction.