Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Gojo Satoru is dead.

And then he isn’t.

The thing about the universe is that it is full of mystery. And there are no such things as “cannot be done”. Sometimes, it’s a matter of sheer coincidence, sometimes it’s a very strong string of fate, sometimes it’s the result from a whim of one of the Gods.

There's no way to find out why and how exactly Gojo Satoru, the holder of the Six Eyes and the strongest Limitless cursed technique in the world of cursed energy, upon his demise in said world, gets reincarnated into another world with vastly different set of energy.

And as if that alone is not enough mystery, he was reborn with his Six Eyes still attached to his vessel.

Except, this time, he is not the lone holder of said power.

Gojo Satoru begins his second life, sharing his birth, with a twin brother.

Being in a different world, however, means he’s no longer of the Gojo clan. And as if some mischievous Gods were messing with him, in contrast to the powerhouse that was the Gojos, this time, he’s born to a family line that is dying out.

Gojo Satoru, effectively no longer a Gojo nor a Satoru, is reborn anew as the first born son from the Hatake clan, the older twin brother to Hatake Kakashi, bestowed with the new name of Hatake Satoshi.

.oOo.

“Sakumo, your sons are here. They're both healthy. Do you wanna see them?”

“How about Tera? Is she alright?”

“... I’m so sorry, Sakumo. She didn’t make it.”

"Oh. Oh. Alright.”

“Sakumo?”

“I will see the twin later. I want to see Tera first.”

“I understand. Take your time. I'll be watching over the twin in the other room, then.”

“Thank you.”

Hatake Sakumo drags his feet to the bedroom where he knows Tera is lying. He cares not for the grimes and dirts sticking to his flak jacket and the dried out blood on his pants. He doesn’t even have half the mind to take off his footwear. All he cares about is that he needs to see his wife.

When he finally see her, his knees go weak like never before, like he’s less of a ninja and more just a common man.

“Tera…” he whispers so softly as he kneels next to the bed where the body of a woman lies, already rapidly losing warmth and growing more stiff.

Sakumo regrets not refusing to go with his last mission more strongly. Because of that mission, he missed being by Tera’s side on her very last moment, during what was probably her hardest most painful hours. It leaves a bitter taste so bitter, he doesn’t know if he can feel anything else but it.

“Tera, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He keeps repeating it over and over, not knowing what else to offer to someone whose presence is already gone.

He doesn’t know how long he stays there. Must have been hours. The morning light has started to break from the horizon, when he finally finds the strength to move. He leaves the room after he covers up Tera’s body with a white blanket. He needs to see his sons.

When he enters the room where the babies are, the midwife is sleeping with her head on her hands on a nearby table. He has to thank her properly later.

Sakumo walks towards the baby cribs, a set made for twin. He's startled when he sees them already awake. It startles him again, when he notices the twin’s eyes.

Heterochromia. Obsidian black and sapphire blue. On both of them, on their opposite sides. Like pieces of a puzzle that fit together.

Sakumo makes a choking sound. He doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but he feels slightly hysterical inside.

The twin inherits both of their parent’s traits. The black orbs from him, the blue irises from Tera.

The blue that made Sakumo feel love, feel alive.

“Tera, even after you’re gone, you still…”

He rubs his face then, in an attempt to regain some semblance of composure. When he looks back down to the cribs, the twin are looking up at him with a strikingly clear gaze. Something within him softens immediately, and a new source of warmth enters him.

A very gentle smile makes its way to Sakumo’s face. The twin already lose their interest in him then, and start making soft sounds that’s barely audible.

Sakumo reaches out his hand towards the twin on the left, the one with the darker shade of grey hair and Tera’s blue on his left eye, and touches his clutched baby’s hand. “Your name is Hatake Kakashi.”

Then he reaches out his other hand towards the twin on the right, the one with much lighter shade of grey hair it looks almost white, with Tera’s blue on his right eye. He touches the baby’s hand while it’s opening, only to be stuck immediately within its grip. “And your name is Hatake Satoshi.”

And thus, Gojo Satoru’s second life as Hatake Satoshi begins.

Chapter Text

For the first 2 years of Satoshi’s life, he is not aware yet that he’s already on his second go. The reason is simple, his Six Eyes has not awaken yet. His memory of his past life remains dormant, locked behind the door that is his Six Eyes. The door is there, it’s always been there since his birth, in his right eye, but he doesn’t have the consciousness to touch it, much less to access what’s inside. He doesn’t know he has to make the key himself.

It happens by accident, an unexpected side effect of a simple exercise that is typical in any shinobi family.

It's just a few days shy of their 2nd birthday, when Sakumo decides it’s the appropriate time to introduce his sons to the concept of chakra, by tapping to their chakra core within their body. It's just a really simple exercise, just so the kids can be aware of their own chakra and how it feels. It supposed to be a painfully simple exercise, with zero possibility of anything going wrong. The worst thing that can happen is just finding out if someone doesn’t have enough chakra to produce jutsu releases, thus preventing them to become a shinobi.

But, something goes very wrong almost immediately.

Sakumo is in the middle of instructing his twin sons how to find their core, with the twin following his direction, when they both suddenly start screaming.

“Aaaah! Otou-san, it hurts! Aaah!!” Young Kakashi is screaming with his face on the floor, his hands grabbing the area around his left eye.

Sakumo immediately stands on high alert. “Kashi! Toshi!”

Meanwhile Satoshi falls to his side, hands clutching around his right eye, just screeching in pain. “Aakhh! Aaack-guh!”

Sakumo quickly gathers them in his hands, telling them despite his words being drown out by their screaming, “Hold on, sons. I'm taking you to the hospital!” Before quickly moving his way to the Konoha Hospital for shinobi care.

On their way, and even as they arrive at the building, the twin boys are undergoing slightly different experiences within their mindscape.

While the physical pain that shocks Kakashi is the same one that Satoshi feels, Kakashi doesn’t get the barrage of a lifetime’s worth of memory that slams through Satoshi’s head.

That day, as a senior medic-nin makes their diagnosis,—

”It’s still a hypothesis, but it’s very likely an early onset of a mutation towards a new type of dojutsu. They feel the most pain in their eyes, and it affects their chakra greatly. Their sides of the eye that hurt—it’s their blue eyes, by the way, but i’m sure you already know—they strongly react to only yin energy of their chakra, and it creates almost an extreme imbalance stored in their chakra reserves.

“As you’re aware, the Hatake clan typically has very neutral chakra core. So, with the twin’s eyes only pulling to their yin energy, it’s clear enough to me, the eyes are gonna develop itself into a new form of dojutsu. The problem is, it clashes badly with the chakra reserves that they inherit. If their reserves are a scale, they are meant to be fairly balanced, but the eyes’ mutation is tilting it sideways, and that’s what’s hurting them.

“And another thing, it’s too early to make another hypothesis, but I do want to share an observation, a personal one coming from a senior medic, but if they manage to control and develop it properly, it could one day become a new kekkei genkai.”

—Kakashi stays a 2 years old, while Satoshi regains an extra 29 years of a lifespan into his memory.

Kakashi wakes up normally the very next day, with his left eye now covered up, while Satoshi is stuck in a week long slumber where he dreams of a past life, one that leaves him breathless upon his wake.

That week, they don’t get the chance to celebrate their 2nd birthday.

(Not that Satoshi would care to anyway, having the knowledge now that he’s anything but a mere kid inside).

.oOo.

"Toshi! Stop this behaviour already! Do you hear me? Toshi!" Sakumo yells frustratingly, barely grabbing on to Satoshi who is on his umpteenth attempt of the day to march into Hatake's compound training ground, his eyepatch already chucked away somewhere behind him, his small body trashing and limbs flailing wildly trying to get free.

"Gah! Let me go, Tou-san! Let me! Go!" Little Satoshi shrieks.

"Toshi... Toshi, stop! You're hurting yourself!" Kakashi tries to call out from the side, his body only held back from jumping to grab his brother because his previous attempt has resulted in him getting body-slammed into the ground that Sakumo has explicitly ordered him to not do it again. He subconsciously picks at the edge of the eyepatch covering his left eye out of anxiety and confusion and worry.

"No! Let me! Leave me!" Satoshi continues to scream while still bodily struggling.

"Toshi! You need to cover your eye, son. Your chakra can't handle it. Son, listen to your father, will you?" Sakumo practically begs his son, firmly holding down the squirming boy.

"No! I need to--need to use it. I'm strong! I'm strong! I can't be--not like this! Let me go! I need to do it! Agh!!"

"Toshi, stay still, son. You need to calm down," Sakumo tries again.

"Toshi..." Kakashi's hands reach out to his brother, feeling the urge to help anyhow.

"Kashi, don't. Stay there, alright. Your tou-san got this," Sakumo says. He really doesn't want to see his sons hurting each other again, even if it's by accident.

"Aghh! Stop, Tou-san! I need to--I need to--! Let! Me! Go!" Satoshi shrills.

"Tou-san!" Kakashi cries out in alarm. "Toshi is--!"

"Toshi!" Sakumo fails to hide the panic in his voice, "Toshi, stop pulling on your chakra! Your eye is--"

Satoshi's right eye is dripping bloody tears.

It is then that Sakumo decides to do the last resort; he knocks Satoshi out cold. The boy immediately falls right onto his hands, all the tension in his body leaving abruptly, his face visibly relaxing. But the blood trail is already running down his cheek, the red in stark contrast to his pale complexion.

Sakumo heavily sighs.

Kakashi also relaxes a bit, but he's still fidgeting on his feet. "Tou-san, what's going on with Toshi? Is his eye still hurting him?"

Sakumo gently gathers Satoshi into his embrace, one of his hand reaches out to softly pat Kakashi on the head. "I don't know, son. But we'll figure it out, alright? We'll see what's hurting him so we can help him together. You'll help Toshi, right, Kashi?"

Little Kakashi nods without hesitation. "Un! I'll help, Tou-san!"

Sakumo smiles. "That's reassuring. Now, can you bring a new eyepatch for Toshi from the cabinet? It's on the second drawer from the bottom. Tou-san will take Toshi to the bedroom so he can rest. Can you do that for me?"

"Okay!" Kakashi runs back into the house to do just that.

Sakumo walks down the length of the backyard, carefully now that he has Satoshi on his arms. He looks down at his oldest son's face then, clear worry laid bare on his expression.

It's only a day after Satoshi was discharged from the hospital. Nobody knows why Satoshi didn't wake up for a week straight after the blowback of their little chakra exercise when Kakashi woke up the very next day normally and without any lingering pain. It seems that the simple solution of covering the blue eye in his left side is good enough to stop whatever was hurting him.

The senior medic nin made their assumption that perhaps, during the exercise, Satoshi unknowingly pulled significantly larger amount of yin energy from his chakra compared to what Kakashi did, so the backlash lasted longer. They could try to examine his chakra core more closely, but Sakumo didn't see the urgency then as Satoshi was only slumbering away, appearing very serene and not at all restless. He assumed Satoshi was just slowly recuperating. The medic nin was trying to argue, but Sakumo didn't budge, so they conceded.

Even on the day Satoshi finally woke up, he woke up with a gasp, but then he remained very quiet and still, almost like he was in a daze. He was fully dissociating that Sakumo had to direct and nudge his movement, as the boy wouldn't move by himself. It was unsure if Satoshi even realized that Kakashi was holding his hand the entire time as Sakumo held them up on their way home. The boy barely gave any reaction, and he did not utter a word. He stayed like that for the rest of the day.

It was only that morning, when Satoshi suddenly behaved strangely. As soon as the light was filling into the daybreak, Satoshi ran outside without a word, onto their backyard, and seemingly going straight to the forest area where their compound training ground is located. He wasn't quite as hysterical at the beginning, when he was just attempting to reach the training ground.

But when Sakumo told him he can't go, as he wants the little boy to take it easy and just rest for now, it was then that Satoshi started to flee and even throw tantrums. Sakumo continuously failed to keep him inside the house, as every time the boy would jump out of his arms like he was put in a boiling pot. It also didn't help that Satoshi, for some reason, didn't want to tell what was exactly bothering him. He kept saying the same thing over, that he needed to go, that he needed to do something.

The boy is only 2 years old as of a few days ago. He was busy playing around and rolling around and laughing away with Kakashi just a week ago. He should not have anything he needs to do with that level of urgency, with that level of desperation, and so abruptly too considering he barely reacted to anything just the day before.

Sakumo wonders if it really is somehow related to the anomaly in his eye and his chakra. He didn't think it at first, as chakra should not have any influence on one's behavior. But it clicked to him the moment, on Satoshi's sixth attempt to run off, the boy suddenly chucked the eyepatch from his right eye to the ground like the thing is personally picking a fight with him.

The boy is clearly very distressed, but Sakumo can't even begin to guess why. The younger of the twin doesn't look like he's having the same problem, and Kakashi has not even tried to take off his eyepatch ever since he was told that it will prevent him from experiencing the same pain in his eye.

The way things are looking, Sakumo might have to take the medic-nin's suggestion to examine his son's chakra core. But as for now, with Satoshi on his arms, he just wishes the boy will wake up calmer, calm enough to at least speak in a more coherent manner.

He wipes the blood trail from Satoshi's small face, feeling already like he's failing as a parent, feeling the gaping emptiness left by Tera that even bigger and colder.

'Tera, can I really do this without you...' he wonders to himself, an ongoing rumination of self doubt that will only grow from then on.

.oOo.

Satoshi is massively thrown off his balance after his memory as Gojo Satoru returns. He's only ever known himself as Hatake Satoshi, well, as Toshi mostly as he's called here, for the very short period of time that he's starting to be aware. But very suddenly, he learns that he has lived a whole lifetime before as someone else.

Well, not quite someone else, not really. Gojo Satoru was him too. He just happened to die at 29 there, and now somehow, he is reborn here, starting again from 0. So Gojo Satoru and Hatake Satoshi are both him; he just assumes different names because he was born into 2 different worlds into 2 different families. He concludes then, very swiftly, that this whole situation doesn't call for an identity crisis.

It's just a bit confusing that he regains almost 29 years worth of memory when he's physically a 2 year old. So what does that make him mentally? Probably still a kid, considering who he was as Gojo Satoru. Nanami would agree wholeheartedly.

After dismissing the very short, barely there identity crisis, he spends the rest of the day after waking up just slowly trying to put up the proper timeline of his previous life. When he was on the process of downloading his memory in the form of very vivid dream sequences, he was going through the memory in very random manner; there was no pattern nor rhyme to it. One scene he was fighting A-grade curses, the next moment he was buying his favorite sweet snacks in Sapporo, and the next he was seeing Nanami and Haibara for the first time again, and it continued on and on and on just like that.

By the end of it, he remembers everything. Sukuna, Kenjaku, Toji, the annoying clan leaders and their endless politics, the culling game, the damn prison box. He remembers Shoko, Yaga-sensei, Ijichi, Utahime, Nanami. His dear cute students; Yuta, Panda, Maki, Inumaki, Megumi, Nobara, Yuuji. He remembers Geto Suguru.

He's not sure how 29 years worth of memory were playing on his mindscape with only a week passing in reality. But he really remembers everything. In his case, given his Six Eyes, everything means literally everything.

But upon his reawakening of his past memory, something extremely crucial slips past his attention. It only finally occures to him once he finishes reorganizing his memory into a proper timeline, that he still has Six Eyes in a world where it supposedly doesn't exist.

If the 29 years of memory is like a steady downpour over a stretched period of time, the following realization hits him like a landslide within the span of 5 minutes.

I have my Six Eyes--half of Six Eyes--meaning Kashi has the other half of it--but Six Eyes only interacts with cursed energy--in other words it's probably like the equivalent of yin energy--this world has very different energy--so it's this yin energy and something else--reversed cursed energy?--or it has to be, or close to be pure yang energy then--and I possess both this yin and yang energy within me--very large amount of it--but my Six Eyes only pulls at the cursed, no, the yin-like energy of the--what is it called again, Tou-san called it chakra before, I think--so my chakra got messed up badly and that was why I wasn't feeling well--but that means my Six Eyes is not in sync with my body--or worse, not compatible--which means I can't use Six Eyes and my Limitless techniques--wait, do I even have Limitless?

That is when he jumps out of his futon, out of the room, out of the house, running through the yard, and about to yeet himself into the training ground within the forest.

He needs to find out if he still has his Limitless with him. He feels antsy all over his body knowing that it's a real possibility that he doesn't possess Limitless this time. Something about that doesn't feel right; in fact, possessing the Six Eyes and regaining all his memories only to miss the other one thing that made him The Gojo Satoru, it will feel like he's missing a limb.

Between his first and last attempt to run off, his mind is also racing uncontrollably.

I need to check if I still have Limitless--if I don't, then--regardless, anyway, Six Eyes, I still have it--that means I need to train again, practice it again, learn to control it again--my Six Eyes clashes with this so called chakra thing in me, though--what was it again, chakra core?--so everytime I'm using Six Eyes it disturbs my chakra--meaning it's actually harder to produce techniques that are meant to be produced by pure chakra energy--it means if I want to use my chakra as a whole in the proper way, I can't be using my Six Eyes--but my Six Eyes gives me so much greater power just on its own--but that means I have to sacrifice the balance in my chakra thingy--meaning I have to learn how to manage my chakra on top of training my Six Eyes again--it could probably be easier if I do have Limitless, I can just do what I did, cycling through my energy endlessly using Limitless with Six Eyes so my chakra usage is as efficient as when I used my cursed energy back then--but if I don't have Limitless--if I don't, then--I need to see it--need to check it myself--need to know--now need to--I need--

Until his father knocks him unconscious, Satoshi hardly even realizes how hysterical he is reacting outwardly. In his mind, he's hyperfocusing on the need to check the power on his person, barely recognizing the rising panic bubbling out of every pore on his body. He's suddenly on overdrive in a matter of minutes.

He needs to know if he still can be Gojo Satoru, the man who was once known as The Strongest.

Chapter Text

The senior medic-nin is spot on with all their medical analysis. The twin's blue eyes are an early manifestation of an ocular type of jutsu mutation—a totally new form of dojutsu.

Sakumo is unsure on what to feel; mostly concerned if not nervous. The Hatake clan doesn't have any inherited kekkei genkai, not bodily anyway—they do have clan contract with the canines family for summons, but it's vastly different to the physical type of the bloodline limit. Sakumo himself is not personally knowledgable when it comes to the ocular type of jutsu releases. He knows only as much as any senior shinobi knows of the well known dojutsu already out there. So really, he doesn't know how to proceed.

Kakashi is watching the exchange on his seat next to Satoshi who is sitting in the middle looking like he's really struggling to stay there. Kakashi, being the budding young prodigy that he is, despite his tender age, can already grasp the situation. To put it simply to fit into his juvenile brain, the blue eyes that he and Satoshi have can do new ninja stuff.

Satoshi, on the other hand, is feeling very restless and impatience. There's a hint of excitement thrumming inside every fiber of his muscles, like it's alive and it's about to jump out if not for the thin barrier that is his skin, but there's also apprehension. A small fear if he is to find out that he doesn't have Limitless after all. The little part of him as the former adult, fully mature Satoru is trying to tell himself that it's totally fine even without Limitless, he still has Six Eyes and that's already a big deal in and of itself; the medic-nin pretty much confirmed it for him.

But the bigger, much more present part of him, a budding 2 year old Satoshi whose primary focus as of last week was to come up with various ways to tickle and tackle his younger brother into the ground, all he wants to do right now is to rid him of the annoying eyepatch and test himself and his Six Eyes to the limit. He wonders if he can find a way to communicate this need to the adults without making it suspicious.

An unexpected help comes to Satoshi's aid from the medic-nin.

"Sakumo-san, excuse me if I'm being overly meddlesome, but if you're willing to hear me out, maybe I can give you one or two advice regarding this issue? Only with your permission, if not, I will not overstep."

"Oh," Sakumo breathes out. "I don't mind, in fact, please do. I might need a lot more advice on this from someone who knows better. It's a bit shameful to admit, but I'm afraid I'm stumped. I would love to hear whatever you have in mind, Otsura-san."

Otsura, the senior medic-nin in charge of their examinations, gives a very thin smile in return. "Very well then. Now, first of all, do you know why in my diagnosis I also make the hypothesis that the eyes' mutation can potentially become a kekkei genkai, even though it can very much be just a case of disability. Do you know?"

Sakumo ponders over the question a bit. "Is it because they were born with the eyes instead of developing it? Being born with it means their bloodline elements are already altered, right?"

Otsura gives a slight nod. "Right. But that's only half of it. My other reasoning is because their chakra signatures, for some reason I have yet to formulate a hypothesis on, they are changing—still changing and have yet to settle on a form.

"As you know, everyone has unique chakra signature, and it's something that we're born with; like a fingerprint. While it's not impossible for it to change, it's not by natural means. In the twin's case, however, it seems to be continuously fluctuating.

"If you recall my analogy, if Hatake's chakra reserves are to be pictured as a scale, with all your neutral chakra natures, making the scale fairly balanced, then the chakra signatures would be the material that makes up your scale. Supposedly, even if your scale is tipping over to its extreme, it should still be a scale regardless.

"But with your twins, they're morphing into something else. It means their chakra core are actively mutating right now because their current form is not ideal. Once it finds its most ideal state, I believe it will be the new fundamental for their chakra signatures uniquely associated to their eyes, crystallizing itself into a proper dojutsu kekkei genkai by then."

Otsura takes that moment to pause, casually sipping from their cup of tea, allowing their explanation to settle into the listeners. They takes notes of their expressions in the brief silence.

Sakumo is turning over each and every word carefully in his head. The explanation makes perfect sense, including why it hurt the boys the moment they activated the eyes for the first time by accessing their chakra; and only then, not before. The eyes were dormant, and their chakra core remained untouched. There was no established connection until that day. Sakumo's face is one of stoic understanding.

Little Kakashi blinks and squints his eyes a lot during the explanation. He vaguely knows some words; he knows what chakra is now thanks to his father's briefing prior to their chakra exercise, but he can't quite pin down the other concepts like chakra core, chakra signatures, and chakra reserves, and the new phrase kekkei genkai fully escapes his current understanding. Though he makes sure to memorize it all so he can ask his father later. He also knows dojutsu after his father told him yesterday after Satoshi passed out; it's ninja techniques using special eyes. Some people in their villages have those special eyes, but they're all different from his and Satoshi's. Plus, they don't feel pain when using theirs.

On his current level of understanding, he concludes that something is wrong with their chakra and it's because their blue eyes are activated. Kakashi thinks it's best to keep his eyepatch on for now.

Little Satoshi, in contrast to his brother, is itching to take his eyepatch off. There are too many new terminologies and totally alien concepts that he can't spare the time nor attention to learn right now. Generally, he thinks he gets it; after all he did spend the previous day to process the fact this world's base is not quite like the cursed energy he was well acquainted with. It's still there, in different form and different feel to it, but it's there anyway; and it co-exists with something else that doesn't exist in his previous experience. He tentatively dubs the more familiar energy as yin energy, and the other as yang energy. It's the closest comparatively similar concept that came to his mind; he's yet to confirm anything, but it can wait.

Honestly, all the theoretical parts can wait, if it's up to me, Satoshi grumbles inwardly. He's sure it will all fall into place once he puts it into practice. If only he's allowed to run outside to the nearest training ground right now, he would jump without hesitation. But his father made him promise this morning to not do anything reckless again like yesterday. So he stays put in his seat there in the medic-nin's office, pouting.

Otsura silently notes little Satoshi's behavior. They have an impossible theory in mind, the one that is most unprofessional if they were to disclose it to the clients with very baseless reasoning and no scientific evidence, so they're keeping it to themself, only silently observing for the time being.

They clear their throat, asking, "Do you have any question so far? Or do you think it's too far of an assumption?"

Sakumo replies, "No, I agree with your analysis, Otsura-san. It answers most questions for me. I guess if there's anything I'm still curious about, I still don't know how knowing this mutation having the possibility to develop into kekkei genkai can give us any solution for the problems at hand, considering the main issue is that their chakra signatures are somehow still changing and hurting them. Please enlighten me, you seem like you already have something in mind."

Otsura gives a hum. "Hm, I do have an idea I can propose. But I don't know if you're gonna like it. But before I tell you that. Sakumo-san, I'm sure as a shinobi of your caliber, you've heard of shinobi stealing body parts of other shinobi in order to gain their power, right?"

Sakumo nods wordlessly.

"What do you think happen to the shinobi after they steal and put the foreign body part onto themselves? Do you think they just immediately gain the power as if it's always been naturally theirs? Can you even be sure that all those bodypart-thieves out there even survive the initial transplant?"

Sakumo's eyes grow slightly, understanding the implication. "Ah, I see where you're going. You mean to say that if a stolen bloodline element is placed in a vessel that can't handle it, it will affect the person negatively."

"Right. The effects vary on case by case basis, but generally the idea is that depending on how well and powerful one's original chakra core is, the new addition to the body can result in either way.

"Now, for those who can survive past the transplant itself, there are levels to how well they can adapt to it. One can barely use it their entire life if they don't have enough aptitude for it, other can master it only after a lot of painful breakthroughs. But there's one commonality in all of them; every single one of them struggles with the new power.

"It's like putting an extra hand to your body; it's a nice addition if it's attached well, but you'll have to learn how to navigate a totally new limb now, something that you would never have voluntary thought with the limbs you naturally have. It's gonna be weird, it's gonna be annoying, and most of the time it's gonna be painful. There's also no guarantee that it will ever be not-painful.

"Now imagine, a body part that's actively pulling on your chakra and messing with its natural balance every time, how do you think it will make the user feel? Annoying and inconvenient at best, painful at worst.

"In that case, my advice would be this; you have three options. One, you take off the body part impacting your chakra; two, you keep the body part unused for the rest of your life; three, you train it until you get accustomed to its power. And those are my solutions for your twin, Sakumo-san."

Chapter Text

Satoshi is pissed. Not because he finds out that he doesn't have Limitless. In fact, he discovers that he still has the ability, but he can't use it. And that somehow feels worse than just not having it.

It's even more bothersome because his Six Eyes keeps messing up his chakra, and he still has no idea how to manage the overconsumption of his yin energy for the use of Six Eyes; it's like there's a leakage in his chakra core and he doesn't know where and how to put a stopper on it. It's beyond frustrating.

It also doesn't help that both his father and his brother are on opposition to his decision to imediately jump to training the eye. His father thinks it's better for the time being for the twin to not use their mutated eyes, based on the sole fact that they're too young for it. Kakashi seems to be obediently agreeing.

And with that, Satoshi finds himself becoming the rebellious stubborn son of the Hatake household.

"Hatake Satoshi."

Here we go again. Satoshi inwardly bemoans.

"How many times have we gone through this conversation. You can't be recklessly doing this. I don't understand why you're insisting on this behavior. We've covered the dangers. What part are you not understanding, son?"

Satoshi petulantly pouts. He doesn't know how to word it to his father in a way that is good for both of them. But also, he just doesn't want to say anything, really. He has enough of a lifetime listening and obeying and basically playing fetch for the elders, especially of a clan leader. He doesn't want to be under anybody's control ever again.

He was The Gojo Satoru, dammit. He doesn't want to go through the hierarchal bullshit all over again. But. He hates to admit it, Gojo Satoru was then, and now he's just Toshi, the Hatake brat. And the mastery of both Six Eyes and Limitless is not carried over, which double lemony sucks.

"Tou-san," Satoshi tries. "I just wanna train to become stronger. Why can't I go?"

Sakumo sighs. "Toshi, you're way too young right now. Didn't I tell you, we'll start proper training once you two enter the academy, which is not gonna be long from now. While we wait, you can still train the normal stuff, just don't use your right eye. It's that easy, wouldn't you agree, son?"

Satoshi doesn't try to hide the sour disappointment from his face. "But when? Are we going to the academy tomorrow?"

Sakumo smiles a little. "No, that's still too fast. Like I said, you two are too young."

"Are we going next month?"

"No, Toshi. Still too early—"

"Next year, then?"

"Toshi, you'll only be 3 next year, alright. The academy doesn't take in students under 4, and even then most kids only start going when they're 5. So not next year either, okay," Sakumo explains patiently.

"But that's too long, Tou-san! I will die before then!"

Sakumo sighs again. "Toshi, you're gonna be alright, as long as you're covering your right eye, okay? You can train everything else, so you can still be stronger. Okay?" Sakumo tries to offer a compromise.

Satoshi, pout never ceasing, stomps his foot down. "No!" If there's any advantage of being a kid again, is that he can act as childish and petulant as much as he wants to, and it's not gonna attract any second look or doubtful glance; just your usual annoyance typically directed at kids being kids.

"Toshi, son..." Sakumo begins, before being interrupted by the door sliding open, little Kakashi stepping inside.

"Toshi, let's play at the park together. The air is good today," Kakashi says.

Toshi looks at his brother with a deadpan face. This kid doesn't even know the correct term is 'weather', why is he already trying to tell me what to do, Toshi thinks to himself. He doesn't show it, but he's aware that Kakashi was hiding in the hallway listening in, even though their father told him to play outside by himself earlier. Ever since Satoshi woke up from his comatose-like state, Kakashi seems to adopt a clingy attitude towards him.

"Kashi, that's a good idea," Sakumo answers, seemingly grateful with Kakashi's attempt to distract Satoshi from his mission. "Toshi, go outside with Kashi and play together. Listen, absolutely do not take off your eyepatch again, I'm serious. I'll be going for the rest of the day, Tou-san has a mission to do. So don't make trouble for Kashi, you hear me? You have to promise me. Toshi?"

Satoshi doesn't want to. But his father looks pitifully desperate, and Kakashi is also giving him a puppy look. Wow, they're really ganging up on me with those looks. And if I don't agree, I'll be the bad guy here. Gah, Satoshi inwardly rolls his eyes. He decides to relent, albeit reluctantly, "Alright, Tou-san. I promise." For today, he doesn't say out loud.

Sakumo finally relaxes. "Good. Now then, you know what to do while I'm going on mission. Eat your dinner properly and sleep on time. I'll be back by breakfast. Kashi, look after your brother for me, alright?"

"Okay, Tou-san," Kakashi nods readily.

Satoshi pouts again. Kakashi is his younger brother, so he's very annoyed that the role of looking after the other brother has been relegated from him as the de-facto second oldest of the Hatake clan. He's also a 29 year old inside simultaneously, I can take care of myself, thank you very much.

"Alright, Tou-san will see you outside before I leave. I trust you two can behave on your own. Come on, I'll carry you up until we reach the park."

Satoshi perks up, just slightly. Now, other than the privilege to act childish however he wants, the pick-ups is another thing he has no complain about with this reincarnation.

As Gojo Satoru, he never got pick-ups or piggybacks, after all. But as Toshi, even when he's annoyed, he will never refuse a pick-up.

Whatever, I guess. I'll consider this a payment for the promise.

.oOo.

Satoshi did well on his promise yesterday. But yesterday is yesterday, and today is a different matter. He never did say he will refrain from doing his attempts indefinitely. The present tense was not continuous or future, so technically he's not even lying; plus he's still a child so he's allowed this kind of shenanigan. He thinks.

He does wait until his father isn't paying attention this time, though. In fact, he is patiently waiting until his father hit the futon in a much needed post-mission rest. He doesn't know what kind of missions his father is doing normally, he never tells his kids the details, but it's obvious that it must have been quite physically taxing. It makes perfect sense, their father is an active and well respected senior ninja in the village.

So when he's sure that his father is soundly sleeping in his quarter, Satoshi tiptoes his way out of the house through the backdoor, planning to visit their compound's training ground; it's the nearest training ground but also far enough to be isolated from their house.

He's close to crossing from their open backyard into the border of the forest where the training ground is located, when Kakashi is suddenly chasing him from the back of the house, yelling while at it. "Toshi, where you going? Tou-san said we can't go out alone!"

"Tch!" Satoshi clicks his tongue. He turns around and meets Kakashi in the middle—

"Toshi--umph!"

—and covers his brother's mouth with his hand.

"Shh!" He shushes.

Kakashi blinks at him. There's a clear question in his exposed eye.

"Listen, Kashi. I'm just going to train. Tou-san said I can still train, so it's okay. And don't shout, Tou-san is tired so let him sleep," Satoshi whispers between them, removing his hand when he's seen the look of understanding.

"Okay, I won't shout. But Toshi, you still can't go alone. You're still a kid," Kakashi replies.

Satoshi mentally slaps his own forehead at that. Wow. Between the two of us there's only one true kid and it's not me. Geez. He responds, "Well, you come with me then."

"Eh? But, Tou-san is sleeping right now, how do we tell him we're going training?"

"We're not going far, he'll find us easily if he wakes up. Come on, we'll be fine, promise!" Satoshi tries to convince his brother.

There's hesitation on Kakashi's face at first, before he nods slowly, saying, "Alright. We'll go together then. Just to the training ground, right?"

Satoshi smiles triumphantly. "Yes! Just to the training ground! For training, of course!"

And that's how the two of them walking side by side into the training ground.

Satoshi's plan is simple. He'll engage with Kakashi in a casual normal training, and then he'll come up with something to send Kakashi away from him for a while, then he can use the time he's left alone to test the Six Eyes.

It works almost perfectly. Almost.

They are doing a light, kid version, of hand-to-hand training, for about 20 minutes, when Satoshi makes a dramatic gasp.

"Oh no, Kashi! I just remember something!"

"Huh? What is it, Toshi?"

"I forgot to put my dirty socks to the laundry basket. It's still in our room. You have to go back and put it away!" Satoshi doesn't even have to lie, he did genuinely forget to put away his used socks, and it happens to be the perfect excuse to send Kakashi away.

Kakashi's face scrunches up at that. "Why should I go back, it's your dirty socks, Toshi."

"But I still want to train. You can go instead because you have nothing else to do anyway," Satoshi argues.

"Then I wanna train too. Why should I go back alone if you're staying here," Kakashi says.

"Oh, come on. Our room will smell like dirty socks if you don't go back now! Do you really want that?"

Kakashi's face flinches in disgust. They both happen to inherit the smell sensitivity of the clan that's been in contract with the canines for generations; their noses are very keen to the subtlest of smells.

"Ugh, no, yuck," Kakashi responds. "How about we stop training for today? Then we can go back together, and you can put away your own mess."

Satoshi inwardly groans. Ugh, this kid's too damn smart for his age. Or maybe he's just really really clingy right now. Bummer. I'll just act out then. So he plops down onto the ground, crossing his arms and pursing his lips, "Don't wanna. I said I still wanna train. You go alone, Kashi. I don't care if our room smells. Whatever," he then turns around with his bum on the spot, pretending to be upset about it.

Kakashi is silent for a while. Satoshi sneaks a peek from the edge of his left eye, noticing that Kakashi is looking at him with a face of exasperation. Satoshi snaps his face away from him, making an audible "Humph!" sound. "Whatever! We'll sleep with smelly socks smell tonight, then! What! Ever!"

"Eugh, yuck," Kakashi mutters. He must have just imagined the scenario in his head.

Satoshi waits for it.

"Ugh, fine then. I'll do it," Kakashi finally relents. "But," he continues, "I'll come back here right away. So you stay here, okay, Toshi?"

Satoshi jumps to his feet and faces Kakashi with an unbidden smile. "Yes, don't worry about it! I'm not going anywhere! Thanks, Kashi!"

Kakashi is already walking away far enough for the layers of the forest to hide him from immediate sight, when Satoshi is just about to pull off his eyepatch, when suddenly—

"Aghh!!"

—he gets toppled over to the ground by a giant doberman nin-dog.

"What?! Oof, get off me, Chai!" Satoshi yelps.

Chai, the doberman nin-dog, snorts loudly. "Yeah, nice try, pup. You're not gonna fool me. You were about to take off your eyepatch again, were you not?"

Meanwhile, somewhere not far from there, rustling sound of Kakashi running back his way can be heard.

Ah, shit! Satoshi curses. He didn't think his father would put one of his nin-dogs as his guard while he's sleeping. He just gets outwitted.

"What you talking about, Chai? My face just got itchy! Very itchy, okay?" He tries to deflect.

"Oh, really now?" He doesn't sound convinced at all. "Let me lick it for you, then. No need to take off your eyepatch."

"Ack! Stop it, Chai!"

Chai is mockingly licking the side of his face when Kakashi bursts into the clearing. "Toshi! What—Chai?!"

"Hey, there, Kashi-pup. Just so you know," lick, "Toshi-pup here just tried to pull off his eyepatch again." Lick, lick. "You're lucky I was around." Liiick.

"Chai, stop! Ew, gross!" Satoshi struggles to get away as the dog is practically slobbering over him. He doesn't mind the nin-dogs, but Chai is purposefully messing with him now in what must be a mock punishment for his disobedience.

"Toshi, so you were lying to me?" Kakashi stomps his feet towards the two.

"Agh, I give, I give! I'm sorry, okay! So stop licking me already!"

"Only if you promise not to remove your eyepatch, pup."

"Okay, okay! I won't!"

Chai stops his demonstration then, and steps back to give the boy his space.

"Ugh, now I'm wet with dog's spit. You are so mean, Chai," Satoshi complains as he sits up, trying to wipe the wetness from his face.

Kakashi then crouches next to him, trying to help clean his brother's face using his long sleeves. "That's what you get for lying to me, Toshi."

Satoshi lets Kakashi take over the cleaning. "Hey, I wasn't lying about the socks! I really forget!"

"Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore. Because you're coming home with me," Kakashi decides, wiping the last wet part from Satoshi's jaw.

"What!" Satoshi shouts.

Chai then chimes in. "You better go along, pup. Because I'm not letting you continue training today. Consider it your punishment."

"What!" Satoshi yells again. "The licking was not enough punishment?!"

"Oh, nah. That was just me annoying you because I can."

"You meanie!"

The nin-dog lolls out his tongue mockingly.

Satoshi grumbles at the dog, when Kakashi's hand pulls on the end of Satoshi's sleeve. "Toshi, let's go."

Satoshi looks back to Kakashi, upset that his plan to test his Six Eyes got interrupted yet again. But they're still there, in the training ground, and their father as the voice of authority is currently absent, so Satoshi decides to take the chance.

"Kashi, aren't you curious?"

Kakashi, at this point, is smart enough to deduce the unsaid part of the question. —about our eyes' power? The younger hums. "I am curious."

"Then why don't we both—"

"But Tou-san says we can't just yet, Toshi."

Satoshi subtly scoffs under his breath. Among all people, why do I have to be brothers with such a stickler. Ugh, someone like Suguru would have been nice.

Chai then says, "You better listen to your brother, Toshi-pup. Your Dad knows better, so you just need to trust and follow what he says."

Except they don't actually know better, no one does, except for me alone. Satoshi thinks to himself, frustrated by the situation.

Chai continues, "Listen, pup. I'm a nin-dog, not a babysitter. So you go back home now with Kashi-pup, or I'm alerting your Dad immediately."

"Urgh—!" Satoshi pulls his hair out in frustration. "Fine! Whatever! You're all meanie!" He stomps away, huffing with much exaggeration.

"Pup. Stop messing around and go the right way."

Satoshi stops and turns to the right direction, then storms off without a word.

Another failure today. Well, I'll try again tomorrow, he silently resolves.

"By the way, Toshi. You're putting your own dirty socks away."

Satoshi grumbles, suddenly realizing how privileged he was living within the Gojo clan's massive complex complete with in-house servants taking care of every mundane tasks for him. He misses Ijichi too.

He responds with a yell, "Whatever!"

Chapter Text

There's a war brewing, and it's escalating in almost no time.

Being a kid, Satoshi has no way of knowing the intricate details about it, but he knows that Konoha is playing a big part in it. And it means that Sakumo gets sent to more important missions away from the village, ones that take long time to partake in.

Satoshi doesn't want to think about the war too much. The last big fight that ended his life as Gojo Satoru was the closest experience he had to a major global conflict, and it's one he rather not remember. The thing is, even though he totally had full faith in his students finishing off what he couldn't, he still has no conclusive knowledge of what became of that overall fight in the end. But he died during it, and that alone is unpleasant to think about.

But for the most part, he's only a child in this world right now, so he can't do much about anything even if he knows more. So he decides to shrug it off to spare himself from unnecessary headache.

Instead, he tries to recenter his focus on things he can do as a prodigious 2 year old, and luckily, it works perfectly for his current predicament, and that is testing his Six Eyes and seeing how far he can actually pull off his Limitless. Without his father around, it's so much easier to storm outside and do his own thing.

Good for Satoshi's personal mission, bad for Kakashi's state of mind.

"Toshi! Toshi, wait!" Kakashi runs some distant away behind Satoshi who is not stopping his sprint. His destination is the training ground. "Toshi!"

"You can't stop me, Kashi! Tou-san's not here to stop me either!"

"But you're gonna hurt yourself again!"

"Can't be a ninja if I'm scared of getting hurt!"

"But you're still little, Toshi. You can't!"

"Little my ass! I'm not little! You're little, Kashi!"

"Don't cuss! That's a bad word!"

"Kashi's a little coward and you can't stop me from saying bad words! Kashi's a dummy!"

"And you're a jackass, Toshi!"

"Hey! You just cuss too!"

"Whatever! Tou-san's not here to hear it!"

"Hah!"

"Toshi, come back!"

And that's how it starts, Satoshi and Kakashi's little compromise.

Every time Sakumo is going on away-missions, Satoshi will have his chance to do his personal training with his eye, but Kakashi will have to be there as well as essentially a supervisor. They both agree that Satoshi will follow kakashi's decision whenever he deems it's enough eye training for the day, and Kakashi promises him in return that as long as nothing bad happens during the training he won't bother or force Satoshi to stop midway. The agreed allocated time for Satoshi's eye training is between 30 minutes to 1 hour a day whenever their father's away on missions.

Satoshi feels like he can do more for significant progress, but it's good enough compromise, considering that Kakashi also goes out of his way to keep Satoshi's regiment a secret from their father. If their father happens to find out, they both are gonna get in trouble.

For the first few weeks, he already learns so much stuff to cover his basic questions.

First, his Limitless doesn't feel any different from before; it's primarily only interacting with his yin energy from his chakra, just like how it used to be with cursed energy. And he can only do very little of Limitless technique when he activates his Six Eyes.

He can feel that there are different levels of flow of his yin energy going out depending on his control of the Six Eyes, but it's currently extremely difficult to actually handle the push and pull of energy. It's like with only one half of Six Eyes, he can zoom in a hundred times closer to see the flow of his chakra within and without, but the image keeps shaking into a blur and it makes it harder to accurately hold and handle its distribution.

As a result, he's either fall short or overshoot the amount of yin energy necessary to release a specific objective to perform the Limitless technique he's aiming for. It's fine when it's too little, because nothing will happen then, and Kakashi's perfectly fine with that. But when he pulls too much, it hits the balance with his yang energy too hard, sending him jolts of pain all over the right-hand side of his head, and the pain is so distracting that he can't even release the intended Limitless technique. And the worst part is, at that point, Kakashi will put an immediate stop to his training, regardless of the time.

Second, deactivating his Six Eyes is as easy as simply not channeling any chakra to his Six Eyes. But as of right now, his chakra is very leaky and his control is all over the place. When he actually puts effort into completely stopping his chakra from flowing even remotely around the Six Eyes, it takes so much concentration and mental energy, that by the end of it, it feels like he's been holding his breath. So keeping the eyepatch on is unfortunately still his only viable option.

(In a way, Satoshi notes to himself as he gathers his thoughts, the eye cover this time is the opposite of why I used it in the past. Before, it was because the overload of sensory input for the daily non-fighting uses was getting too much. Now it's my leaky output of chakra that's hurting my own core. I wonder if someday I can fine-tune the control to the same level I did back then. Would be nice if I can, better if I can go as far as activating and deactivating just my Six Eyes without it affecting my chakra.)

Lastly, although this one is more of a presumption than a confirmation, but he thinks he can pull off his Domain Expansion as well with his Limitless. He can picture the mechanism working, but he's hesitating to try out with Kakashi nearby observing him the entire time.

As he's still starting to test the water, he's only been using Infinity for his testing and training. It is the simplest Limitless technique, it's easy enough to work around with, plus he can test it out with different levels of output. It's also safe to practice with Kakashi around.

He figures he can try out Blue, Red, and Purple techniques later after he can fully grasp the control for Infinity without much of a hitch. And Unlimited Void is out of the equation entirely before everything else.

So, for now, Satoshi has to figure out how to control the flow of his yin energy in tandem to the activation of his Six Eyes to use just the right amount for basic Infinity. That's his first goal for now.

(He is yet to find out that the lack of vision sensitivity is not because it's not carried over, but because it takes voluntary push here, unlike before. But he's gonna find out soon, in a moment when he needs it the most.)

.oOo.

The war is waging on as months go by, and some names get boosted into prominence. Their father, Hatake Sakumo, is one amongst the talk of the town. His new epithet, Konoha's White Fang is almost revered as much as the Trio of Jiraiya-Orochimaru-Tsunade, who are the students of the Third Hokage, as they are battling mostly at the forefront of the conflict.

But that also means he spent a lot more time away on missions.

Satoshi thought, at first, that it's a great opportunity to practice his power more, but he eventually feels like something is bogging down his mind. As a result, he's often got distracted during his exercise. He realizes belatedly that what he feels is concern; he actually misses his father.

It shocks him when it dawns on him for the first time, that he's capable of feeling that much towards a family figure, an elder one at that. It reminds him that this second life is very different from his previous experience; from the get-go everything is different, and some things don't have to remain the same, including the way he feels.

No cursed spirits are being born here from negative energy, and this world's yin energy isn't a result of humanity's collective sentiments. It's fine now for him to feel whatever he feels; he doesn't have to always let go and move on from things just to prevent a monster from being inadvertently born somewhere.

He's allowed to feel normal emotions like any normal human being.

But, old habits die hard, indeed. While he's allowed himself to immerse with the flow of emotions, it's still awkward to express it out loud.

Every time he gets the urge to yell out loud "I miss Tou-san!" his lips will clamp shut before he can actually say it. He doesn't know why, but it feels like it's embarrassing, which is weird considering how shameless he usually is, before and even now. Something about showing affection and love freely is such a novelty that feels too raw for someone so unfamiliar with it. He never received it before—never allowed himself to receive it, and he never gave it away too. It's a strange feeling.

So he does what he can within what's considered to be normal for little Toshi to do.

"Tou-san, you're already leaving? But you just got back yesterday!" Satoshi grabs onto Sakumo's pants as he's just about to leave for the Konoha Tower again.

Sakumo makes a conflicted face; Satoshi is making it hard to leave the house. "Toshi, I have to go, alright? It's Hokage's order, I have to do it so I can protect the village where we live. Tou-san's leaving so you and Kashi can be safe," he says patiently as he crouches down to talk on the same level to his pouting son.

"Hmph, I know that! But you're leaving too fast, you hardly have time to play and train with us anymore! Can't you leave a bit later? Just for a bit, Tou-san?" He puts on his best puppy eye look.

"Toshi, please," Sakumo sweats nervously.

"Toshi, stop bothering Tou-san," Kakashi inserts himself into the conversation. "You can play and train with me, come on."

Satoshi snaps his head to glare directly at Kakashi, who is momentarily shocked before quickly returning to his plain bored deadpan look. "But it's getting boring with just you, Kashi! Sometimes you even take a nap while we're training!"

Kakashi's exposed eye narrows slightly. Inwardly he complains, 'That's because you insist with your eye training, silly Toshi.' He says instead, "Well, because you're weaker than me so it's getting boring, I might as well take a nap so you can catch up!"

"Tou-san, see! Kashi's being mean to me again!" Satoshi then wraps his little arms around Sakumo's leg, putting himself slightly away from his brother. "And I'm not weaker than you! Stupid Kashi!"

"I beat you up every single time! That makes you weaker, duh! Silly Toshi!" Kakashi returns.

"You don't know that I'm just letting you win! Just wait, I won't hold back anymore and I'll beat you up! Stupid Kashi! Bakashi!"

"Bring it on, silly Toshi! Ahotoshi!"

Sakumo then puts his hands on top of their heads, speaking up, "Now, now. Don't fight. Be nice to each other, okay. Listen."

He gathers the twin to stand side by side facing him to address them both, "I'm so sorry I can't play and train with you. But it's really important that I go when the Hokage calls. There's an order to things, and the Hokage is trying his best to make sure the village remains safe. You know there's a war going on, right? Tou-san don't want the war to breach Konoha, to reach our home, to hurt you two. So I have to be the one to go out there. Just hang on, alright? I know you two can do it. You are both Hatake, right?"

"Yes, Tou-san. Of course we can. Don't worry about Toshi. He's just being too much," Kakashi replies readily.

Satoshi scoffs. "I'm not being too much, you just can't handle me, Kashi," he snaps back. "Anyway, Tou-san. Why can't you just stop the war faster then? You're strong, right? This war is getting too long, it's been months! Kashi and I are almost 3 now!" Satoshi complains.

Sakumo laughs a little at the remark. "Oh, well. I am strong, but alone I can't do everything, plus there are tons of stronger people out there, and some of them are our enemies. So, it's gonna take a while, okay?"

Satoshi pouts. He mumbles dejectedly, "If only I'm stronger, I can finish it for you."

Sakumo is momentarily stumped, before bursting into loud laughter. "Bwahahaha! Oh my. Look at you, already growing up so well. Oh, my son. What a blessing to have you as mine," Sakumo looks at Satoshi endearingly. He caress his son with his big hand, truly happy with Satoshi's innocent words.

Satoshi smiles a little at the sight of his father laughing. It's been a while since the last time Sakumo had a genuinely good time, as the war continues to wear him on. If he can't make his father stays longer at home, at the very least he just made him laugh. Satoshi will take it as a small victory.

Chapter Text

Satoshi and Kakashi are 3 years old now, and it goes uncelebrated as the war continues to rage on.

Sakumo is still doing his long away-missions regularly, reaching into weeks of not being home. Kakashi has picked up a new personal mission to learn how to read and write more seriously on top of their regularly scheduled training, particularly on the more commonly used kanji characters by shinobi. Meanwhile Satoshi has gotten some progress with his own personal mission, nothing significant, but progress nonetheless.

Satoshi has to admit, though, it's been incredibly frustrating. His control is not only clunky, it feels too heavy, for the lack of a better word. It's like his Six Eyes muscles are not enough to carry the in and outflow of the massive current that is his chakra, not to mention the imbalance of the yin-yang energy that hit him hard everytime he pulls on his core to test out his Limitless.

Forget Limitless, more like Limited, he jokingly notes to himself.

The little progress that he's able to achieve is just activating a layer of Infinity on some part of his body for a few good minutes. His current record is Infinity on half his body for a solid 2 minutes. But past that, he has to completely stop his chakra usage for several minutes before he can even use it again, but at that point using more of Six Eyes is already out of the options. The pain's gonna make him pass out on the spot.

Having been practicing every chance he gets on pretty much regular basis for nearly a year feels like it hardly changes anything; he doesn't feel particularly stronger or better at it.

He wonders if it's because he only has one half of Six Eyes. If I had been born with both eyes, this could probably be so much easier, he laments to himself as he's lying down on the grass in their training ground, his right eye currently resting shut, his breathing still slightly labored from the strain of his training.

He's taking in the silence that surrounds him. He tunes in his hearing; listening to the rustling of leaves and the chirping of birds and the swift breeze of the autumn winds all within the silence of the still forest. He wonders then, if the lack of significant progress in his training is because he just misses the leaves and the birds and winds.

Honestly, it feels like I'm halfway blind right now. Satoshi heavily sighs.

He hears it then, the small steady footsteps of someone walking closer to where he is. He doesn't move from his spot.

"Toshi," the voice calls him. It comes from above his head.

Satoshi slightly tilts his head upward to where Kakashi is standing, hovering over him and slightly blocking the setting sunlight reaching Satoshi from between the trees. "Hey, Kashi. What's up?" He replies rather lazily.

Kakashi then sits with his knees on the ground near Satoshi's head, body slightly forward with his hands supporting from the ground next to his bent knees. "Are you done with the training? You sound tired," he says.

Satoshi huffs. "Was it the sigh that gave it away?"

Kakashi hums, "Kinda, but also just the way you speak. Are you okay? We can go home early if you want."

"Mmm..." Satoshi considers it for a moment, "No, not yet. I don't wanna go home yet. I just don't—" know what exactly I'm lacking and how to deal with my own power now that it feels like a giant weakness instead, "—know what to do to get stronger than this. I feel stuck."

Kakashi peers down from above with his right uncovered eye, saying, "Your taijutsu's gotten better, though. Your grip on ninja tools is also improving. You do get stronger, Toshi."

Satoshi stares back up with his own uncovered eye on his left. "That's not it. You know what I mean."

Kakashi pauses very briefly, before confirming, "This is about your eye again, isn't it?"

Satoshi closes his eye at that, huffing, "Yeah. Don't ask me again if you already know the answer. I need some time to think, so you go back to your textbooks, Kashi."

It is silence once again after that. It stays silence only for about one minute.

Suddenly there's a small finger tracing lines in his forehead. Satoshi scrunches his brows. "Kashi, what you do—"

"Do you know what this character says, Toshi?" Kakashi cuts him off.

Satoshi opens his left eye, looking up questioningly at his brother, "Kashi, stop playing around, I can't focus—"

"You don't know, then. It means 'barrier'."

"Hey, listen to me now—"

"How about this character?"

"Kashi, stop bothering me alrea—"

"It means 'to project'. What about this one?"

"Will you stop—"

"No? This one means 'pressure'. How about this one then?"

"..."

"It means 'to hide' like in plain sight. How about—"

"How about you get away from my sight?"

"—this character here?"

Satoshi pauses and blinks slowly. "... 'To transport'?"

"Wrong. It's close, though. It means 'to transfer'. Now—"

"Wait, what's the difference?"

"'To transport' is for something more tangible, like people or objects, 'to transfer' can mean for both tangible and intangibles, like energy and consciousness. Anyway, what's this one—ouch!"

Kakashi yelps as Satoshi flicks him in the forehead.

"That's enough, Kashi. Why are you doing this now? Are you that bored?"

Kakashi rubs the part on his forehead that stings a little. "No. I just think you might want to study kanji with me. You said you feel stuck with your eye training. So," he explains.

Satoshi snorts. "But I was in the middle of meditating when you bothered me. How am I supposed to unstuck myself if you get in my way like that?"

"Maybe you can take some time off from your eye training to do something else. I mean, I'm already way ahead of you in my kanji study. Don't you want to learn other stuff too so you can get stronger?"

Satoshi blinks slowly. Right, he doesn't know I already know my kanji. Hmm, let's see, he thinks it over, before deciding on an excuse. "Later. I'm not too interested in that arts right now. My priority is still the eye."

Kakashi regards him, looking slightly confused. "You don't want to study seals, Toshi?

"Yeah, well, I'll learn it when I learn it. I mean, fuuinjutsu looks kinda boring, no? It's not as cool as our dojutsu."

Kakashi doesn't look like he agrees with that take. "But all ninja arts are important. Besides, you don't even know what exactly our eyes can do, right now it's pretty much useless, if not a drag."

That's because you don't know how awesome and powerful the Six Eyes can be, Satoshi grumbles inwardly. He responds, "But the other users of dojutsu can do so many cool stuff! You heard, right, what the Uchihas and the Hyuugas can do with theirs? If they can have cool eyes' power, I want it too! It just sucks that we have to figure everything out ourselves. So don't complain unless you wanna join my training. Now go away, Bakashi." Satoshi closes his eye again, hoping Kakashi to drop the case.

Kakashi doesn't move away from his spot. Another minute passes as he silently observes Satoshi, before he breaks the quiet moment, "Toshi, do you think it will be better or worse for your training if you have both of the eyes?"

Satoshi blinks his left eye open, looking up at Kakashi slightly confused. "Hm? Why do you ask?"

Kakashi shrugs his shoulder a bit, saying, "Just curious. I mean, I've been just observing your training all this time, and you look like you're struggling a lot. You also just said you feel stuck. Do you think it's because you only have one of the eye?"

Satoshi is silent for a bit; not because he's considering the question in his head but because it shocks him a little that Kakashi has the same line of thinking to what he was just wondering a bit earlier. As a former 29 year old-spoiled-only child, his toddler self still sometimes forgets that he has a twin brother this time. It looks like that thing about twin telepathy or whatever is true. Huh, is this how it was with Maki and Mai too, then? Fascinating.

"Hm, maybe. Who knows," Satoshi replies. "There's no way to find out, though. We're born with just the one eye each. Kinda funny, huh?"

Kakashi is quiet again.

Satoshi stares up at him, "What are you thinking so hard about, Kashi? Don't do it too hard, or your kanji might run away from your head, careful!"

Kakashi giggles a little at that. "You're silly. I keep all my kanji safe with me, don't worry," he replies lightly, before continuing seriously again, "Anyway, Toshi. What would you do if there is a way to find out?"

Satoshi blinks questioningly at his brother, "Hm? What do you mean?"

"I mean," he starts hesitantly, "we can just swap our eyes. I don't know if it can really work, though. It probably will be hard for your daily function, but perhaps you can finally advance with your training. You can be much stronger much faster."

Satoshi is momentarily stumped speechless, he almost forgets to breathe. He knows he heard it right, but he couldn't really believe it. Eyes swapping, huh. Transference of power is definitely not a new concept to me. Can it work? It might just work. Satoshi spirals a bit into the possible mechanism.

While Satoshi is deep into his own thoughts, Kakashi stares down on his brother's face. He then puts his hands on Satoshi's face on the outer sides of his eyes. He caress his brother's skin with his thumb. "You know what, Toshi?"

"... What, Kashi?"

"I think... I think if you had been born with both of the eyes, you can definitely do it. Own it and master it. You probably wouldn't need to struggle much like you are right now."

Satoshi is once again rendered completely speechless. He can't quite say 'Of course, I owned and mastered it already before' with the way Kakashi's expression looks while he said it. Satoshi can't quite ask directly either, but for some reason, maybe because they're a pair of twins that has shown signs of having twin telepathy, Satoshi can tell that Kakashi feels somewhat guilty.

It's probably less because he was born with one of the eye, but more to do with the fact that he's been refusing to train it while seeing me keep going at it for this long. Maybe. This twin telepathy thing is quite mysterious, I don't really know how it works. Satoshi suddenly feels the urge to hug Kakashi in that moment. He can't , though, with their current position. So he does what he can.

"Hey, Kashi," he calls his twin, puts his hands over Kakashi's, and gives them a gentle squeeze. "Do you know why I'm insisting on training the eye so early?"

Kakashi thought it over briefly before answering, "It's because you want to be stronger, right? You said that often."

"Well, yes. But it's also because I know I can handle it. No matter what I'm gonna be struggling with, I'll overcome it all. Doing it now or later becomes irrelevant to me, so might as well do it sooner. And I don't care how long it's gonna take, as long as I keep trying. I'll make sure to master it one day, with one eye notwithstanding. So you don't have to worry about it, alright? You just wait and see, Kashi," Satoshi ends his speech by rising up his left arm to touch Kakashi's face, his thumb gently brush over the eyepatch concealing Kakashi's Six Eyes.

Kakashi's exposed eye widens ever so slightly, before crinkling into a gentle eye smile. "I believe you, Toshi. I know you will."

Satoshi grins back. "Good. Now," he lets go of Kakashi's face, and Kakashi also lets go of his, before continuing, "Wanna train taijutsu with me?" I think I'm done enough eye training for the day but I still have lots of energy to burn."

"Hm. No."

"Eh? Why?" He stretches his word to a whine.

Kakashi stands up and walks back to where they left some books and scrolls and some dummy ninja tools for practice.

Satoshi also gets back to a sitting position and turns around in his spot to face Kakashi. "Kashi~ Train taijutsu with me, come on," he whines.

Kakashi stops before a stack of books and picks up one that is opened. He turns around to give Satoshi an eye smile. "Let's bring you up to speed with my kanji vocab. I'm sure I'm at least 2 levels above you now, Toshi."

Satoshi groans inwardly. Ah, there's probably no avoiding this unless I wanna make it suspicious. Ugh. Why is Kashi so strict with these things!"

Chapter Text

Satoshi is gobsmacked by his own shallow thinking.

He initially wasn't excited at all at the idea of re-learning his kanji. He used to have photographic memory thanks to Six Eyes, and he doesn't have trouble with recalling something he already has stored in his memory bank. Besides, he also meant it when he said he wasn't really interested in the ninja arts of sealing at the moment.

And that's where he made his mistake.

"So, you mean, seals can also be used to suppress or even stop chakra entirely?"

"Hm, theoretically, yeah, but I guess the seals formulae will be complicated. The chakra used to activate the seal would also be big."

"Do you think there are seals that can stop specific technique release? Or, or, hm, what about seals that can stop chakra from flowing to certain parts only? Or, or! Seals that allows different amount of chakra to be released?"

"Toshi, I don't know the answer to all that, but it probably exists. But fuuinjutsu is a specialized ninja arts, so there are not a lot known about them. Common seals jutsus are usually for basic stuff, like for storing objects or for small explosions. If you're asking for seals that can interact with chakra like controling or stopping them, it's probably very high level ones,  known and used by only a few people."

"Ho, I see, I see. Hm, what about putting seals on yourself? Is that possible?"

"I'd imagine it is. But why would you put seals on yourself? Wouldn't that be a disadvantage?"

Satoshi doesn't answer. His mind is racing, trying to keep up with the sudden influx of inspirations and possibilities.

Kakashi looks at Satoshi, confused and curious with his twin's sudden spike of interest in learning fuuinjutsu. "Hey, Toshi, you remember what you said some time ago about fuuinjutsu? You said it looks boring. Did something change your mind?"

Satoshi looks up at that question, "Oh." He briefly wonders if he can just tell Kakashi about his idea of possibly incorporating seals to their eyes' conundrum. He decides then that there's no harm in it. "Hm, see. I'm just wondering if there's any seals we can use to help us with our eye training. You know, so it won't be hurting us anymore. What do you think, Kashi?"

Kakashi's eye widens. "Oh, really? I... am not sure, never thought of that. Huh."

Satoshi grins. "It's a good idea, no?"

Kakashi squints. "Hm, I don't know about good yet. I haven't studied about seals for long. But Toshi, did you consider the risks too? From what I've heard, complex seals techniques are complicated and may come with side effects. I read that some of them can be dangerous."

"Kashi, Kashi," Satoshi shakes his head, "You have to think and imagine all possibilities! If it's hard to do, it's probably because it's very useful too! And we can't be scared before we even try anything! We'll have to at least think seriously about it!"

Kakashi hums. "Hm, I guess you're right. It's not immediately a bad option just to think over. Hmm, I'll try to look into it too, then."

Satoshi brightens up considerably. "Wait, really? You'd do it?"

Kakashi shrugs his shoulders lightly. "Why not?"

Satoshi smiles.

.oOo.

"There's hardly any information I can find on complex seals, Toshi. What do we do?"

Satoshi's raised spoon stops midway before he can put it into his mouth before he drops it back to his soup bowl. "What?"

Kakashi hums while scooping some soup into his own rice bowl. "Yeah, I checked a lot of books in the library that could possibly have seals information, but there's not a lot. Just basic seals stuff," he says before shoving a spoonful of the rice to his mouth. He grabs some veggies with his chopsticks and place it onto his rice bowl.

Satoshi is quiet for a moment, then he says, "Are you sure you checked everything? It's only been like, what, a month? Maybe you missed some books?"

Kakashi chews and swallows his food before answering, "Maybe, but I'm pretty sure I checked out those that clearly would have a section on seals. I even asked the librarians if they have any recommendations or advice. Do you know how hard it was to convince them I was serious? They thought I couldn't even read. They only helped me once they found out I'm a Hatake. Anyway, if I do miss it, the books don't exist in the public library."

Satoshi purses his lips. "That's not good." He picks up his spoon absentmindedly and feed himself, his mind now completely elsewhere but the food in front of him.

"Yeah, I know. How about your training lately, Toshi?" Kakashi asks. He recently made the conclusion that Satoshi would be fine and responsible enough to be left alone with his eye training. And so he would leave Satoshi to his own device while he would scour the public library building. To speed things up, as he also doesn't have the luxury of time to actually read and digest everything in ninja introductory books and manuals, he specifically would only read parts that explain about seals. There really isn't a lot of readily available information on advanced fuuinjutsu anywhere in the public building.

"Just the usual," Satoshi answers with some food still in his mouth. "Say, you really think we can't check the library for shinobi? Can't we just say we're Hatake?"

"Chew your food first and swallow properly. Anyway," Kakashi shrugs. "I'm not so sure if that would work. The rule is only registered ninja can have access, so only genin and upwards. Not even academy students can enter. How do you think they will react if we go there? We'll be laughed at, probably."

"We won't know if we haven't tried! Come with me tomorrow to check the place out!"

.oOo.

They get laughed at.

Satoshi kicks one of the staff in the shin for that.

.oOo.

If there's one particular thing that is most frustrating from being reincarnated with all the memory of previous life still intact, is that one has to experience all the disadvantages of being regarded as just a kid all over again.

Even in a brutal world where innate power and physical strength is the rule that governs the people, where militaristic education is already started and instilled from elementary level institutions, and all one needs is to graduate to get a license to draw blood and kill regardless of one's age, there are still very strict rules to follow. One of which being: if one is not a ninja or yet to be a ninja, all strictly ninja spaces are off-limits. It doesn't even matter if one is directly related to the Hokage.

And Satoshi is currently feeling the very bitter reality of it.

"Kashi, listen! Children are the most oppressed people in the world, everywhere! Think about it!"

Kakashi blinks, uninterested. "Right. Can we focus on the study, though? I'm still halfway to my daily goal and it's almost time for dinner," he says.

Satoshi stares at his brother. "You have a daily goal for your kanji study?"

"Mm. It was only 10 kanji characters a day at first, then 20 and 30, to 50 then 85," Kakashi says nonchalantly while he flips a page of his book.

"Where you at now?"

"Two hundreds and twenty."

Satoshi blinks, impressed. I have a genius prodigy as my brother. Right. How come I can forget that part? Maybe I call him Bakashi way too often, that's why. "Do you really remember them all?"

"Yeah. I self-test from time to time. Usually on the day I take a break from learning new kanji characters."

Is that really 'taking a break'? He asks, "Have you ever not hit your goal?"

"Today would be my first time if you keep bothering me."

Shoot. Smart and witty. It's Kashi, alright. "My bad."

"I'll forgive you if you do your studying without fussing anymore. We'll think about our problem tomorrow, alright."

"Okay~" Satoshi replies, lazily turning to his own study book and pretending to read. At this point, he will still have more kanji characters in his memory than even the-ever-so-diligent 3 year old Kakashi. He's not worried of being outdone in that regard. He takes the opportunity to calmly gather his thoughts.

Seals. A ninja art using formulaic characters and symbols and signs to do a predetermined technique that can last for a long time. It's uniquely different to ninjutsu, taijutsu, and genjutsu because those ninja arts are done simultaneously during battle and only last for as long as their current chakra reserve allows. Seals stay intact for as long as the creation of seals itself is solid. If it weakens, there are ways to restore it, and if it breaks it can just be fixed. The importance is in the initial making of it. And I'd imagine if it's in the body, keeping and maintaining the seal is as simple as giving it enough chakra over time, so it effectively can function non-stop. The main problem is, comprehensive knowledge on complex seals is hard to come by, and maybe even strictly gatekept, so even your illegal and shifty ninja can't just get their hands on it. Makes sense, very pragmatic actually. But it's not good for my patience. I can't just wait until I graduate from the academy. I'm not even allowed to sign up yet. Ugh.

"Hey, Kashi," he calls.

"Yes, Toshi," Kakashi flatly responds as his hand is writing down a series of kanji characters in a row. His focus doesn't seem to break.

"Do you think Tou-san knows a lot about seals?"

Kakashi's hand stops. His head doesn't move, but his eye flicks upwards to look at Satoshi in the eye. "You can't."

"I haven't said anything."

"We both know what you really want to say. You can't, Toshi. Are you stupid?"

"Don't call me stupid, Bakashi, I'm not. I know the consequences, alright. Tou-san will maybe find out about our secret training—"

"Your secret training."

"—that you allow and supervise without him knowing, and we'll get scolded for sure and maybe punished a little—"

"A little?"

"—but I'll take all the blame for it, I'll do yours even—"

"I'll hold you to that."

"—I'll cover for you as best I can so you don't get any, and after that, what? I don't think Tou-san can stop us even if he finds out at this point."

"He can put you in detention. You can't train outside then. He can put restraint on you even while stuck in the house and you can't snuck out. I'll defend myself but I'll probably still get repercussion anyway, and if it comes to that, I won't help you."

Satoshi pouts. "But that's too much for a punishment. All we did was training! How does that warrant harsh punishment?"

Kakashi sighs. He puts his ink brush down to its box and rests his arms on the table in front og him. "Punishment should be harsh so you can stop doing the thing you're not supposed to do. Besides, you did it for a whole year straight, more than a year at this point, while Tou-san was mostly away fighting in a war. Do you really think you won't get some serious punishment? Be honest, what do you think is your best case scenario here?"

"I won't get punished."

"Be realistic, Ahotoshi."

"Are you underestimating Tou-san's capacity for kindness and forgiveness and mercy?"

"Are you forgetting that he's a well-respected shinobi with a great deal of discipline?"

"But I'm his son and he loves us!"

"To love someone includes being strict with them! You're not getting away from this in any case!"

What the hell. Why am I being scolded by a 3 year old who's' still learning his kanji? I know way more kanji than him so I know better!

"Stop glaring at me. You know I'm right."

Satoshi puffs his cheeks. "Then what do you suggest?"

Kakashi sighs again. (From Satoshi's perspective, there's something especially irritating with Kakashi's sighs. It's like Kakashi's the older one every time he does it, and it irks Satoshi on many fronts.) "Toshi, did you really never consider that maybe Tou-san is right for wanting us to hold off on the eye training? Maybe we are too young. Maybe the solution will already be there once we're of age and what you're doing right now is just inconveniencing yourself. It never crossed your mind, did it?"

Too smart. How can a 3 year old be this smart. Is this allowed? And why do I have to be his brother? Agh, give me a break.

"Give me a compelling reason why it's okay to come clean to Tou-san now of all times," Kakashi challenges.

"Tou-san probably knows a lot about seals, or people who know seals, and even if he doesn't, he has the access to places where they keep the knowledge. Then we'll get the help that we need, then our eyes can stop hurting us and we can focus on becoming stronger. You don't want that, Kashi?"

"I'll be generous with you," Kakashi swiftly ignores Satoshi's provocation, "Even if that's what happens, what's the difference between that happening tomorrow and a year from now?"

They both know Kakashi doesn't need to specify why he mentions the one year difference specifically; it's the year they can finally enroll into the ninja academy, in other words, the year their father promises them both for when they can start training for their eyes.

"The difference is there's a one year between now and later."

"You cannot wait?"

"It's too long."

"Really?"

"Yes."

They lock eyes then, neither seemingly wants to back down.

Kakashi finally sighs and closes his eye first. "If you tell Tou-san, don't tell him I was your accomplice. And if you get punished for it, I won't come to your aid."

That's funny coming from someone who not long ago was telling me eyes-swapping is totally on the table. What does he want, really. He then quickly says, "Deal."

"Ahotoshi."

"Bakashi."

Chapter Text

Satoshi is getting skittish. Their father has not been home for almost 2 months now. This is the longest he's ever been away on a single mission without ever going home even once. And it's been 2 weeks since his disagreement with Kakashi about possibly coming clean to their father about Satoshi's secret training regiment. Ever since that night, the twins have been interacting far less than their usual, only speaking to the other for basic exchange and only answering with clipped dry reply.

What's Kashi's deal? I don't get it. Satoshi grumbles in his head, not understanding why his brother is so against the idea. It's only training. For self-growth! I didn't do it because I wanna do crimes or anything. Tou-san will understand if I just explain it to him. I'll show Kashi that I'm right.

Meanwhile, Kakashi at this point has chosen to completely abandon the whole ship; he doesn't go with Satoshi anymore for their training. Instead, he now trains by himself on a separate training field, slightly farther away from their usual spot. He doesn't even force Satoshi to his kanji study session anymore.

It's been 2 weeks going like that in their house and Satoshi's getting really restless more and more. He's so close to actually storm into the Konoha Tower himself to demand his father be recalled back home immediately.

It doesn't come to that, luckily for Konoha's Tower staffs, because Sakumo finally returns home that evening.

"Tou-san! Welcome home!" Satoshi excitedly greets the man entering through the front gate.

"Tou-san, welcome home," Kakashi says more mildly.

Sakumo looks tired, but he still tries to smile in return, greeting his sons back, "I'm home. Toshi, Kashi, have you two been good?"

Satoshi and Kakashi both look at each other from the edge of their uncovered eyes, before quickly looking back up to Sakumo.

Satoshi cheerfully answers, "We were good, of course!"

Kakashi flatly adds, "Yeah, we've been doing good. Toshi still talks with food in his mouth during meals, and he doesn't like studying kanji, but other than that, everything was fine."

It gets him a glare from Satoshi. He only stares back with a bored expression.

Sakumo laughs a little. "Haha, now. That's good to hear. Did you two have dinner yet?" He asks while ushering them both from the front porch into the house.

"We were about to. Tou-san will eat with us, right? I'll prepare for you too," Kakashi offers.

"That would be great, thank you, Kashi. Tou-san is a mess right now, so I'll take a bath first before joining you."

Satoshi perks up. This is chance! "Tou-san! I can heat up the bath water for you!"

Sakumo looks at Satoshi, "Are you sure? You should help Kashi prepare for dinner instead."

"Nu-uh," Satoshi shakes his head, "You must be tired from your mission, so you should rest at home as much as possible and leave everything to us! I can help a ton and you don't have to do anything at all. Here, give me your jacket, I'll put them away for you."

Sakumo suddenly finds himself awkwardly standing with Satoshi pulling his rolled up long sleeves on his right arm, trying to take it off from him, even though his vest is still on top of it. "Toshi, hey, son. Easy now, I can put it away myself, you know."

"No! Give me your jacket, Tou-san! Come on!" Satoshi says stubbornly, as he now tries to pull off the vest from Sakumo's shoulder. He couldn't do it quite right because of their height difference, but it doesn't stop him from still trying.

Sakumo tries to talk him out to stop, but it's Kakashi who actually manages to take Satoshi off Sakumo's back.

"Toshi," he calls with a commanding tone, as he boldly grabs satoshi's forearm and shoulder and pulls him away from their father. "Let Tou-san do it himself, I need you to do something else for me first."

Sakumo smiles gratefully to Kakashi.

Satoshi pouts. Why is he still getting in my way. I thought we have a deal already, he gripes inside.

While Sakumo is going to the bathroom area, Kakashi pulls Satoshi into the kitchen. He places his twin in a corner and says to him in a low voice, "Listen. I know we had a deal. I'm not gonna change my mind on the matter, or yours. But can you at least not do it today? Tou-san just returns home from a long mission and he looks rather rough. Just let him rest properly today."

Satoshi sighs. "That's it? I thought you were about to yell at me to just not do it entirely. Look, I wasn't planning to ask him tonight, alright. I know Tou-san's tired, I can tell. I don't need you to tell me that."

Kakashi stares at him with a calculating gaze. "Were you really?"

"Hmph, have some faith in me a little."

Kakashi relaxes then. "Fine. I'll believe you. You can go."

Satoshi doesn't go before he sticks out his tongue mockingly at Kakashi. "Bleh! Bakashi's a dummy!" He has to run out from the kitchen to avoid getting a flying sandal thrown his way.

.oOo.

Satoshi does a lot that evening in a series of actions he dubs as "Project Easing Tou-san Up". After leaving Kakashi to prepare for dinner on his own, he goes to the bathroom to heat up the water, carefully tests the water's temperature so it's not scalding to the skin. He runs outside after, finding his father just finished taking off all his ninja paraphernalia.

"Tou-san, come quick to the bath! I make sure the water's perfect just now. Come on, before it cools down! I'll help you wash your back as well!"

So Sakumo finds himself being dragged over by Satoshi, who is excitedly directing his father's every move. "Are you done showering, Tou-san? Here, sit down. I'll scrub your back," to "Sit down a bit lower, Tou-san. I'll wash your hair. I'll give you a head massage too," to "I'm done with the wash up. Come on, hurry to the bath. I think it's still warm enough!" to finally "Take your time relaxing, Tou-san. I'll add some hot water just a bit more so you can enjoy it longer. Just wait here, alright!"

Sakumo doesn't know what Satoshi is trying to achieve, but it's clear to him that the boy is not gonna relent, so he just follows along, smiling at his son endearingly the entire time.

"Tou-san, here, I prepare you your clean clothes for the night. Do you need anything else? If not, I'll go help Kashi prepare the dishes, we'll wait for you so we can eat dinner together, alright?"

Even during dinner, Satoshi continues his relentless attempt by constantly asking his father if there's anything he wants. He even tries to scoop up some food and put it into Sakumo's plate and bowl, before being gently stopped.

Once dinner is over, while Kakashi goes to clean up the dishes, Satoshi immediately ushers Sakumo into their family room, where he sits the man down and says to him, "I'll give Tou-san a full body massage!" So he does just that, or tries to, with his small and petite hands and feet. Sakumo can barely feel the pressure necessary to call it a proper massage, but he lets Satoshi continues with his administration anyway.

After about 20 minutes, Satoshi deems that he's done the full body massage session. By that point, Kakashi has also finished cleaning the dishes, and now he's sitting by the table in the same room where there are piles of books for his kanji study, 3 towering stacks of varying levels.

Satoshi ignores him; it's just Kakashi's evening routine at this point. Instead he goes to Sakumo's bed chamber to lay out the futon for him. He then runs back outside once he finishes it, announcing, "Tou-san, I laid out your futon for you! You can just rest whenever you're ready, I will tuck you in!"

It makes Sakumo laughs lightly, he says in return, "Shouldn't I be the one to tuck you in for bed?"

"No! Well, usually it is. But I'll do it for Tou-san just for today! Hehe, Tou-san, aren't you pleased? I did a good job, didn't I?" Satoshi grins.

Sakumo smiles tenderly at him. "You did well, son. I feel a lot more relaxed now, thanks to you. Come here, Toshi."

Satoshi smiles widely. He's satisfied that his project seems to be working smoothly up tp this point. He just needs to wait until the right moment to bring up the seals inquiry. For the time being, he'll continue to act cute and docile to let his father's guard down. So he walks up to Sakumo, and without any reservation, plops himself down right on top of his father's lap. He turns his head up to catch Sakumo's eyes, grinning from ear to ear. He knows he looks especially cute right now from the endeared smile Sakumo gives him.

And that's just about the time that Kakashi has to interrupt their moment. "Tou-san, are you not going to praise me too? I prepped dinner and cleaned the dishes, and I can read and write a lot of kanji chaarcters now, a lot more than lazy Toshi can, you know?"

Sakumo looks away from Satoshi to look at Kakashi then, who is trying to look nonchalant by not looking away from his textbook, even though he isn't actually reading anything; Sakumo can tell. He then calls out, "Kashi, come over here. Tou-san will give you praises too. Come here, son."

After momentarily stunned, Kakashi gets up and walks towards Sakumo, and the man moves him so he can sit down on his lap as well, on Satoshi's side.

Kakashi and Satoshi briefly exchange glances, before looking up at Sakumo at the same time.

Sakumo puts his hands on top of their heads, gently pats them as he says, "You both did very well, not only today, but also the time when I wasn't around. It makes me feel so reassured and safe even when I was away doing my missions. I don't have to worry a lot because I have two very reliable sons who are not only independent and smart and talented, but also very adorable. It makes me so very proud. Thank you, both of you."

Satoshi's face blooms into a wide and proud smile at that, while Kakashi looks embarrassed instead, muttering under his breath, "I'm not adorable." They both are blushing in the cheeks, pleased by their father's genuine compliment.

At that moment, Satoshi is convinced that he is right, that he's gonna be fine even if his secret training has to be revealed, that his father will help him gather the necessary seals knowledge that he's looking for. He knows, that unlike the Gojo Elders, Hatake Sakumo is a much kinder, much better man. He'll understand me for sure. I'll be fine.

.oOo.

Satoshi is unfortunately wrong with his prediction.

"Hatake Satoshi."

"But, Tou-san, I—"

"No. We've had this talk before. I thought you understand when you finally calmed down. I went on missions after that believing in you. Why did you do this, Satoshi?"

Satoshi flinches. He doesn't like it when he's not even being addresed as 'Toshi' anymore. He knows then that his hope has fully sunken at that point. He still tries regardless. "Tou-san, I'm sorry. I just want to do my best to become stronger. I just wanna catch up to you quickly, Tou-san," he tries weakly.

Sakumo makes a face that's just filled with complex emotions, then sighs tiredly. He crouches down to look at Satoshi in the eye. "Son," he starts, "I'm not saying that I'm against that at all, alright? I'm glad and beyond proud to know that you think that way, but it's fine to take your time, you know? You're still really young, too young to even enter the academy, so all I wish for you is to spend your childhood without having to worry about... about all that. I want you, and Kakashi, to have a good, carefree childhood memory, so you have something to cherish even as you grow up. Do you understand what I'm telling you, Satoshi?"

Satoshi doesn't look convinced, with the way his pout is giving away his feelings. Internally, he's also struggling to understand. Childhood memory? What good does that bring to anybody? We only need power. It's true before, and it's still true now. I was born, twice, with powers within me, and all I have to do is master it. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? I don't get it. Holding off on using it for, what, more kiddy playtime? I don't need it.

Sakumo, on the other hand, is no fool; he can see that Satoshi doesn't accept his explanation. It's clear to him that he has nothing else he can say to convince his son otherwise; the boy has made up his mind. So there's really only one solution he can think of.

Sakumo sighs before saying "Fine, I'll help you with your request. Information about seals that can be of use to your eye. That's what you want?"

Satoshi's face immediately brightens up at that.

"But," Sakumo adds right away, "You also have to do something for me in return. And you have to promise me you'll do it well. Only if you can prove yourself, then I'll give you what you want."

Satoshi's smile shrinks just a tiny bit, before he excitedly replies, "Yes! Yes, Tou-san! I will, I will! I'll do anyhing extra well! I can do it! I'll prove myself! Yes!"

Sakumo only smiles.

.oOo.

Satoshi is not pleased. At all.

Why.

"Toshi. How many have you cleared, now?"

Just why. "I don't know. Like 25? Maybe 30."

"You're still way behind, then. You should have cleared at least 40 at this point, you know."

I think Tou-san scams me. "Heughhh, riiight. Sorryyy."

"If you wanna hit your daily goal at this rate, you have to put in more effort."

And now I'm stuck with this persistent annoying nerd brother of mine. Haaa, this is so unfair! "Yessir..."

Satoshi is currenly sitting face to face with Kakashi with the low table between them, opened books scattered about on it. In contrast to Kakashi's unbroken focus on his study book, Satoshi is lazily doing his own. He drags out his strokes without much energy, and he doesn't even blink an eye if he does a line or a sequence incorrectly. Luckily, Kakashi is also doing his own work so intensely, so nobody is actually watching him writing his kanji wrong.

Who even cares about stroke sequences? As long as it's readable, it should be good enough. Ugh, this is so boring, though.

Sakumo has left the village again, after only 3 days of resting. The war isn't slowing down nor is it ceasing. Satoshi still worries for him, but he couldn't bring himself to beg his father to stay longer like he did before. Not only it's clearly futile, he did feel a bit slighted by the older man.

In exchange of getting information on seals techniques, Sakumo has given Satoshi the assignment to study kanji, setting the goal equal to the level of a genin graduate; and he demands a physical proof for all of his entire studying sessions, with no exception. Only then, Sakumo promises, that he will give Satoshi the seals knowledge that he's asking for.

Satoshi feels cheated. He knows what his father's intention actually is. There's no way little 3 year old Toshi can catch up to genin level of kanji proficiency by the time he's entering the academy which is right in the following year. Therefore, Sakumo can have the solid excuse of not disclosing to him the information he desperately asks for before the appropriate time.

Satoshi has also been made completely without comeback. He can't say anything in protest because, frankly, it really is the best option Sakumo could offer; gives Satoshi plausible task to do for the reward that he's asking, but one that is virtually impossible to accomplish within the timeframe that he desires.

Satoshi is not sure if his father even consider the possibility that the 3 year old kid could just do it within a year, but if he did, pretty sure that by that time, they're already gonna be entering the academy anyway. It really is the perfect solution.

Even while disgruntled, Satoshi has to admit that it was a smart move to deal with his demand. He really can't say anything now.

The thing that annoys him the most, though, is the redundancy of it all. It would be so much better if he's actually learning his kanji for the first time, he would be more motivated to do it. But right now, he knows all his kanji just fine, but there's no way to cheat the process even with his memory. The homework books cannot fill itself. Not even his Six Eyes on full power can do it for him. And admitting that he already knows his kanji is not even an option unless he wants to look suspicious.

It will go on like that for months. Satoshi will still be doing their usual training on the training ground, with Kakashi now returning back to their old routine, on top of their increasingly more intense kanji study session. Satoshi blames Kakashi too for that.

"Toshi, at this point, I'm gonna be so far ahead of you that I'll reach your goal first. I wonder if Tou-san will give me the seals knowledge just to me, then. What do I do, then, Toshi? Should I share it with you? I want to help you, see, but Tou-san probably won't allow me to do that, so. Maybe I would have to keep it to myself, study it by myself, and become stronger on my own. Say, Toshi. Can you pick up your pace already?"

Kakashi keeps provoking Satoshi every chance he gets, and so out of sheer feeling of pettiness, Satoshi allows himself to fall for the provocation. It does him good in the sense of actual progress for the thing he considers redundant and boring, so at least there's that.

But really, if he just allows himself to pause and think for more than 5 seconds about the whole thing again, he's gonna be pissed again. Because essentially, it means that there's hardly anything he can do at this point but actually playing the waiting game, which he absolutely detests.

So there he is, for now, doing kanji homework all over again.

"Toshi, how many have you cleared now?"

Satoshi rolls his eye. "Like 45?"

"You're still behind. Pick up the pace a little, will you?"

Satoshi exhales, exasperated. "I hate you, Kashi."

Kakashi gives him an eye smile in return. "You can do it, nii-chan!"

Chapter Text

Something is wrong with Tou-san. Satoshi can tell that much. He doesn't know how to ask the man directly, though. It would be easier if at least the man could allow some vulnerability to be shown, but the man locks it all up behind a carefully crafted smile and the convenient excuse of being tired from all the war-related missions.

He does it really well that even the usually perceptive Kakashi doesn't immediately see through it. Something about the wrongness that only Satoshi can perceive, as though it comes through only with the age old experience, something that Kakashi has yet to gain.

Satoshi eventually finds out the reasoning behind it, but it doesn't come directly from Sakumo himself.

It's early in the morning, the following day after their father returned to their home looking the worse for wear, as he always did after every long mission. For once, Sakumo doesn't emerge from his bed chamber at his usual hour. Satoshi tells Kakashi then to let their father sleep in for the day, to give him more time to rest, and Kakashi doesn't disagree.

So they both have their breakfast with just the two of them, despite how excited he had been looking forward to their mealtime together. Satoshi wonders what it could be while they're eating in silence, but there's also the bit in him that questions if it's just a mistake on his part, that maybe he's just thinking too much of it; it's been 2 years since the war started, and Sakumo has been actively involved in it, dispatched for long away-missions with hardly any breaks in between. Maybe this most recent mission took quite the toll on the man. So maybe, Sakumo just needs more rest, and then he'll be back to the usual man he is.

But Sakumo still doesn't come out of his quarter even after Satoshi and Kakashi finishes their morning round of training.

"Toshi, we run out of fresh veggies. And eggs too, I think."

Satoshi is taken out of his lone rumination when Kakashi calls out to him when he's about to start preparing for their lunch. "Oh, I'll go out and get some, then," he offers. "Are you coming with me, Kashi?"

"Hm, I'll just stay home. One of us should stay to look after Tou-san while he's still resting. Just buy enough for today. I'll take turn for shopping tomorrow."

"Okay, I'm going, then."

And so Satoshi finds himself going shopping alone around the market that day.

"Aunty, give me some potatoes, please?"

That's when he hears it.

"Hey, isn't that little kid the Hatake's brat?" Someone murmurs from somewhere, not loud enough to call attention to it, but definitely not far enough to be missed by Satoshi's sharp and above average sensitive hearing.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, you're right. That's one of them. What's he doing all alone in the market? Aren't they like three?"

"Heh, would you look at that, so the Hatake Sakumo is not only bad at following orders as a shinobi, he's also a negligent parent. Poor kids."

"Yeah, those kids are unlucky to have such bad example of a figurehead as their only parent. Must be embarrassing for them."

"You're telling me. If I were in their position, I would've ran away from home, rescind association to Sakumo just to retain my honor."

"Even if you're still a three year old?"

"It's easier to do it sooner while I'm young before the bad reputation sticks to my name too, you know."

"You're right, actually. Although I doubt the kids know about it yet. The brat looks unbothered."

"Give it until tomorrow. If the rumors I heard are right, the Hatake kids regularly visit places in the village, some shinobi I know said they see them quite often. They'll find out soon enough."

"Haa, what a waste of power and great talent, that bastard. Do you know how many headaches his action gave my unit? I barely can get away from another guarding duty, I havent' slept in nearly a week, dude."

"Forget your unit duties, his action basically jeopardized a huge battlefront strategy, and that area is highly critical. Imagine being there right now, it must be a total dead zone."

"I hear it might take months if we still want to reclaim that area again, the entire security is so compromised that it's hardly worth the effort now. What a headache."

"Tell me about it. Sakumo that bastard should bow down apologizing before all of Konoha shinobi if he still has some conscience, he made everybody's work so much harder than it already is."

"I doubt he has any. He probably thinks he's in the right. The name Konoha's White Fang has gotten into his head and look where that leads him to. Like I said, a waste of a talent."

"Exactly. Like he had one mission to do. Instead he couldn't help but be haughty about his lead position and stray from orders. Tch, what a mess."

"I hope Hokage-sama gives him proper punishment for it. The war plan's all messed up now."

"If he gets away from it somehow, I'll personally protest the Hokage."

"Dude, count me in. He has to pay for my mental deterioration."

The 2 voices then move farther away from Satoshi, and Satoshi is stunlocked on his feet.

"Kid, hey. Here's your potato. Oi, do you hear me, kid?"

Satoshi may not know the exact situation, but it's clear enough that his father is being blamed for something, and it's the kind of mistake that's too major to just brush aside in a conflict involving several if not all of the five great shinobi nations.

Suddenly, finishing his grocery shopping is the last thing on his mind.

I want to go home.

"Kid, do you want your potato or not? You're wasting my time!"

Satoshi snatches the paperbag filled with potatoes, tosses some coins into the seller's hands without bothering to count it first. "Thanks, Aunty!" He says carelessly as he immediately bolts from there.

"Hey! What a rude kid! Hmph."

Satoshi runs back home, nothing on his mind but the image of his father returning back home the night prior, all the signs suddenly becoming very clear.

I've seen similar look before. That's why something feels off around Tou-san.

Satoshi recalls it again, the look on their faces; of the man he calls Father here, and of another figure in the time immemorial by the name of Geto Suguru.

He doesn't like that he's only noticing it now, the similarities; the sunken dark eyes, the hollow look, the empty fake smiles, the distant between them, and all the silence. They're all the same.

His heart thumps nervously as he runs as fast as his small feet can take him. The house is not far from the market, located at a lone corner of the fringe area of the village, and yet it feels like the distance has been stretched by an invisible force.

He doesn't know what bad scenario he has to prepare mentally for; he doesn't want to even imagine it. He doesn't want to think about what sight will greet him back at home, or who will, or who will not.

Satoshi just wants to see his Father.

Please don't leave please don't leave please don't leave—

Bam!! The front door slid opened harshly by Satoshi's impatient little hands, and he doesn't have the decency to slide it close again. "Tou-san! Tou-san!" He calls into the house.

Sakumo emerges from the doorway of the kitchen, meeting Satoshi in the middle of the hallway, with Kakashi trailing right behind his heels. "Satoshi? What's going on? Tou-san's right here."

Satoshi stops in his track, gives his father a look over, before jumping to circle his hands around Sakumo's leg, the paper bag now discarded to the floor with the potatoes rolling out of it. "Tou-san! You're not leaving, right?"

"Toshi?" Kakashi voices from the side, confused. "What are you on about? Tou-san just woke up, he's not leaving so soon."

Satoshi looks up to check Sakumo's face without letting go of his hold. "Tou-san? Tell me you're not leaving? Please?"

The water in Sakumo's expression changes, like it's not as simple a question to immediately answer. Satoshi notices the very quick gulp Sakumo takes, before putting on his obviously fake smile. It's a damn good smile that can even deceive Kakashi, but Satoshi already knows it too well to fall for it again.

"Toshi, son. I'm not leaving this soon. Don't worry, okay?" He places his big hand on Satoshi's head, gently prying the boy off of his leg, before crouching down to his son's eye level. "Did you think I will go on another mission again so soon, without seeing you or saying anything first? Is that why you were running home in such a hurry? Were you worried?"

That's not it, not really. He's worried about him leaving them, like Suguru had left him before. But Satoshi simply nods; he can't say his real reasoning.

Sakumo smiles at him, laughs lightly. "Don't worry, I'll be staying home for a while longer this time around, so we'll have more time together actually. Aren't you glad?"

Satoshi tries to parse through the words to see if his father is lying. "Really?"

"Really. I have a lot of free time for now. We can do whatever you want us to do together. Train, play, whatever you want."

So he's been taken off from the active roster, most likely. So it's true, then.

Satoshi doesn't realize it, but his hands clutch tightly onto Sakumo's sleeve's end, subconsciously not wanting to let go. His lips are pursed tight, and his eye bores deeply into the depth of his father's own.

"Toshi, the potatoes got squashed a little. Also, where's the rest? Did you really just buy potatoes?"

Satoshi doesn't even register Kakashi's complaint from the side. For some reason, his heartbeat doesn't slow down. He knows deep down, that the seed of fear has already began to sprout, and it's only gonna grow from now on; and what scares him most is that he doesn't know how to stop it.

It's not something he knows how to handle in the past, in before, but unlike that time back then when all he could do was to let go and move on, he doesn't want to let go now. Doesn't change his current situation, though; he still has no idea what to do with it. So he does what the almost 4 year old little Toshi know to and can do: he puts his little arms around his father's neck, whispering under his breath, "Don't leave, Tou-san."

Sakumo, understandably confused, just smiles softly. He looks at Kakashi, who looks unsure himself, and beckons him closer. "Come here, Kashi. We can do a group hug."

Kakashi is hesitant at first, but he eventually moves closer anyway. Sakumo puts his hand around Kakashi, who awkwardly holds onto Sakumo's shirt.

Sakumo says softly, "Tou-san's not leaving anytime soon, I promise."

Satoshi doesn't believe him in one bit.

.oOo.

Satoshi wishes he knew how to do some ninja techniques already. Particularly at the moment, he really wishes he could do the clone jutsu thing. If he could do that, he could offer to go out for the grocery shopping while staying home to keep an eye on his Father at the same time.

Instead, it's Sakumo who is currently having his clone to do both, one staying at home with Kakashi and one going to the market with Satoshi. He doesn't even know how to tell apart a clone from the original.

"You know, I wasn't aware that you can be so enthusiastic to go grocery shopping with me. Even Kashi was surprised. Any reason at all? Is there something you really want to buy, Toshi?" Sakumo says, curiously asking the little boy in his arms on their walk to the market.

Satoshi was vehemently telling the other two that morning that he wanted to go for the shopping task of the day, despite that it was supposed to be Kakashi's turn to go. If he isn't entirely filled with concern and worry for the mental well-being of his father, he might have been feeling embarrassed by his prior act, even moreso because Kakashi didn't really mind it at all.

"Not really. I just wanna hang out with you, Tou-san," Satoshi simply says.

Honestly, it would have been better if he can convince his father to just stay home. But he also doesn't wanna leave Sakumo out of his sight, and that's where his conundrum lies. Again, his options have been largely restricted by the sole fact that he's still a mere child.

Sakumo is briefly stunned by the answer, before smiling softly, "Oh, I see. Well, too bad we didn't bring along Kashi, then. He would love to hang out too, don't you think?"

"But you are hanging out with Kashi right now at home," Satoshi remarks.

Sakumo laughs lightly. He takes Satoshi's words as if the boy doesn't want his personal time with father to be interrupted by his own brother. Of course, he has no way of knowing that what Satoshi is doing is an attempt to juggle his missions of keeping an eye on Sakumo and hopefully keeping Kakashi away from the hubbub of gossips about their father, without making it look like he has any serious agenda not befitting of a child his age.

Sakumo and Satoshi walks to the market chattering lightheartedly like that. Until they reach the market that is; that's where what Satoshi fear happens.

"Oh, look. Here comes the Konoha's Wolf, the pride turned traitor, galavanting his mug around the peaceful market. The merchants ought to be careful now, lest he decides to turn the market's orders upside down."

"Why is he here? How dare he shows his face on the village again after what he did. How shameless."

"Ain't no way, not only the criminal doesn't look sorry, he brings his son around as if it's all sunshine out there! How audacious, if not just cunning."

"Using his innocent son as a shield for himself, I see how it is."

"I think he brings his son because the kids are the only ones he can hang out with now, they literally can't just leave the house, no? Poor kids."

"Did you hear? His teammates has testified and confirmed that the fatal decision was solely his. His own team, they were ready to sacrifice themselves honorably for the mission, and he singlehandedly ruined it because he was trying to play the hero."

"If my own teammates abandoned me after a failed mission under my command, I might as well stop being a ninja."

The voices just carry liberally through the air, none said directly to their faces, not even loud enough to stir a second of disturbance in the morning market crowd. They just carry, and Satoshi knows that his father knows even he can hear it. And yet, the man acts as if the object of these conversations has nothing to do with his presence at all.

This is why Satoshi doesn't want Sakumo to go out with him to the village; it's where the gossips are exchanged and they're unavoidable especially with their level of hearing. Walking through the crowd in the market now feels like going through a tunnel filled to the neck with toxic radiation. You can't see it but it will get you feeling sick.

After about a dozen different voices later (Losers, all of them, Satoshi thinks), he can't take it anymore. He wiggles around his father's hold, asking to be put onto the ground.

"Toshi, you want down? Okay, alright, easy there," Sakumo says, placing the boy down.

Satoshi doesn't wait after his feet touch the ground, he takes flight back into the way they've walked through, and every time he identifies a voice and finds the person speaking, he immediately goes for that person and kicks them in the shins, sometimes sending a punch to their knees.

"Toshi!" He can hear his father's calls from behind, but it doesn't stop him.

If there's an advantage to the crowd in the civilian area, is that he can use as his cover; his small posture makes it easier to slide between the throngs of bigger and taller people while his father and the people he just offended struggle to reach him. He counts it as a perfect victory when he reemerges at the other end of the market and feels like he manages to tag almost everyone he could hear talking shits about Sakumo while they were passing through.

Strangely, it doesn't bring him as much satisfaction as he thought it would.

While he slows down his dash, his father finally gets free from the crowd. The man shunshins himself to grab Satoshi, then shunshins away again to the rooftop of one of the market buildings. They can see from their position high up that some people are looking around to find Satoshi after the mischief he pulled on them.

"Satoshi, why were you doing that, son?" Sakumo asks after he sets Satoshi down before him.

Oh, no. I'm not getting scolded over this, Satoshi thinks. So he hovers closer to his father and put his palms over Sakumo's ears. He says, "Tou-san, don't listen to them! Just listen to me, okay? I don't know what actually happened while you were away, but I know you did your best. Those people are just saying shits because they don't know you well. I know you, so I trust you, and you just have to trust me too. Okay? It's alright, Tou-san. It's okay." He pats Sakumo's head, imitating what his father often gave to the twins.

When Sakumo doesn't move nor say anything, Satoshi clings to him with a hug. Only then Sakumo seems to get out of his momentary befuddlement, moving his hands to embrace Satoshi's small yet warm body.

Sakumo doesn't say anything even afterwards, not even to chastise the boy's use of a cursed word, or to ask how was it that he knows the people were talking about Sakumo at all when no body ever explicitly mentioned his name.

All Satoshi wishes is that for his words to get through to his father before the ostracization breaks him apart.

Chapter Text

Sakumo has been staying at home for 2 weeks straight now. Which is unheard of since the war breaks out. And at this point, not even Kakashi can remain a fool from seeing the gloom hanging heavy, if not heavier by the day, around their father. But it's clear to Satoshi that his brother knows even less than him on what they can do about it, other than doing things as per their usual routine. Young prodigy or not, Kakashi is still a kid, an actual kid on his first life.

During the early morning, when the sun has not even broken through the horizon, Sakumo and Satoshi would go to the market, aiming to complete their grocery shopping for a few days worth of restock during the earliest hour when the merchants are just starting to open their stalls and stores, when there are still not as many people mingling around.

Sakumo tries not to make it obvious, but Satoshi knows that his father always remains alert of their surrounding the entire time, and every once in a while the man would usher Satoshi to someplace else; Satoshi assumes, easily, that Sakumo saw someone who might antagonize Sakumo on sight, directly or indirectly.

But aside from their semi regular trip to the local market, they don't venture out to the village anymore. They only stay at home and go to the training ground, and they do almost everything together virtually all the time.

The nights are bothering Satoshi even more. Since the second night of the man's return, they all sleep on the same chamber—by Satoshi's insistence, another one of his 'childish' demand. But even with that, it still worries him, since at some point during the night, Sakumo would very silently sneak out of the room, trudge outside, and go somewhere alone.

What worries Satoshi the most, is the fact that every time Sakumo leaves the house, Satoshi can't follow him out. Not for the lack of trying, but the moment the front door is closed shut, it's like it's been glued to the doorframe. Satoshi thinks it might be the work of seals locking down the entire house, as every other door and even windows are not budging. Satoshi has nothing he can do but wait, and every night after about an hour or so of waiting, Sakumo would always return.

Satoshi doesn't want to find out if there's gonna be a night when Sakumo doesn't return.

So that very night, on the beginning of the 3rd week, tired of feeling helpless, Satoshi stops faking that he is asleep when Sakumo's about to leave the house again. Sakumo just crosses the threshold and is about to close the door behind him when little Satoshi runs across the hallway and shouts out, "Tou-san! Where you going? Don't leave!"

It luckily stops Sakumo on the spot. He doesn't immediately turn around, though.

"Don't leave, Tou-san." Satoshi says again, not quite yelling this time, though the desperation is thick in his voice.

Sakumo finally turns to look at Satoshi. It's still there, the careful mask he puts on before his sons' presence to tell them that nothing is wrong. "Satoshi, I thought you were already asleep. Do you have trouble sleeping?"

Satoshi doesn't answer the question. He moves closer, clings to his father's pants, and looks up at him. "Where are you going, Tou-san? It's midnight. Are you going somewhere alone? Can I go with you?"

Sakumo crouches down. "Sorry, did I wake you up, then? Come on, I'll tuck you back to sleep, okay?"

"Are you gonna leave once I sleep? Don't leave, Tou-san. Just stay home. I don't wanna go to sleep unless you promise you won't leave."

Sakumo's mask cracks very briefly, before he quickly tacks on a small smile. "Alright, I promise." He then carries Satoshi up, closes the door and walks back to their sleeping quarter.

Once he tucks Satoshi back into the futon placed in the middle between Kakashi's and his, Satoshi immediately curls his fingers around the front of Sakumo's shirt, and says, "Don't leave us, Tou-san, please."

Sakumo just smiles, with sadness seeping through the barely curtained bare emotions from his eyes.

Satoshi can't erase his worries as Sakumo doesn't say anything in return.

.oOo.

Satoshi is a little desperate, so he decides he's about to do something that Kakashi will most likely not approve.

"Tou-san, I wanna show you something!" Satoshi declares after he and Kakashi is done with their light sparring session the following day.

"Hm? What is it, Toshi?" Sakumo asks, while Kakashi only looks at him curiously with some apprehension.

"But promise me you wont get mad, okay?"

"Well, as long as nobody is harmed, then I won't," Sakumo says.

Good enough. "Alright! I promise. Just watch me, okay? I wanna show you something cool."

Satoshi then rushes to a nearby tree where some of their dummy ninja tools lay. He picks up a roll of ninja wire and a dull kunai before setting it up on the bark of the tree so its end is pointing outwards. He then walks backwards from the tree, pulling on the wire with him, pulling it loosely but not taut. Once he's back in the middle of the training field, he stops.

"Toshi, what are you about to do, son?" Sakumo asks warily. He's now fully alert on his feet, just a few steps away from his son.

Satoshi glances at his father, reassuring him, "Tou-san, it's totally fine! And safe too. I promise you that! Just—watch, okay? And don't stop me midway too. I promise it's totally cool!"

Sakumo doesn't look any more assured, but he doesn't immediately jump or say anything to stop him. Kakashi mirrors their father's face, but also doesn't say anything.

Wow, those two really are related. Tou-san's gene is strong. Satoshi distractedly thinks while looking at both of them standing side by side in that moment. He shakes his head a bit. Focus, Satoshi. He turns to look ahead of him.

Satoshi can tell there's a slight surprised movement from his peripheral vision when his hand reach out to his eyepatch covering his right eye. He's not stopping his hand. He knows at this point that there's absolutely no risk.

He rips his eyepatch off, revealing his bright blue eye, and he immediately activates Infinity to the entirety of his anterior side at the same time that he's pulling the wire to trigger the kunai to fly straight at him.

"Toshi—!" Sakumo cries in alarm.

Kakashi gasps in similar sentiment.

The kunai stops and hovers just above the skin between his eyes with barely any space, almost but never touching him. Satoshi holds it there for a good 5 seconds, before giving the Infinity layer a slight change in its thickness to knock the kunai's trajectory off its balance. When the kunai flops outward and falls to the ground, Satoshi closes his eyes, effectively turning off Infinity.

When he opens his left eye again, he whips his head to see Sakumo and proclaims proudly, "Tou-san, did you see that? I can do that with my eye! Isn't that cool?"

Satoshi's goal with this plan was to hopefully cheer his father up, if not at the very least distract his mind from his current affliction.

His grin drops when what appears on Sakumo's face is not of pride, but it is stricken with regret. "Tou-san? Why—?" He voices, utterly confused by the unexpected reaction.

A shadow falls over his father's face, metaphorically and literally as the light from the late afternoon sun is setting down behind Sakumo dramatically. "Satoshi, you..." His voice trails off.

"Tou-san!" Kakashi suddenly speaks up at that moment. "It's my fault! I know what he's doing but I didn't stop him."

"What are you—Kashi?" Satoshi is getting even more confused. Why is Kashi suddenly lying like that? To cover for me? But he said he didn't want Tou-san to know he's involved?

Kakashi continues, "Please forgive us. I'll make sure it won't happen again. You can give us punishment for this, Tou-san."

The mention of punishment jolts Sakumo from his stunned silence somehow. He addresses Kakashi then, "I'm not gonna give you punishment, Kashi. Don't worry about it, alright?" He then looks back at Satoshi, telling him, "Toshi, come over here, son."

Satoshi stares at Sakumo, asking with a small voice, "Am I gonna get the punishment?"

Only then Sakumo gives a small smile. He says, "No. No, you're not. Just come closer, Tou-san wants to say something to you." He crouches down, beckoning Satoshi closer.

Satoshi walks forward, a bit regretful now. It doesn't help him feel any better when he catches the sharp accusing glare from Kakashi. When he's standing right in front of Sakumo, he mutters, "I'm sorry. Are you mad at me?"

Sakumo regards him with a gentle look, "Why would I be mad? Didn't I say I won't as long as nobody's harmed? Were you harmed anywhere at all, Toshi?"

Satoshi shakes his head in reply.

"Then no. I won't get mad at you. If anything, I'm just mad at myself."

That shocks both the twins."W-why, Tou-san?" Satoshi stammers.

Sakumo smiles bitterly. "Well, you just show me that you're very capable of reaching your own potential beyond what my limited foresight is capable of. My lack of trust in you seemingly has become a hindrance to your growth, not to mention you did all that much discovery of your own power without my guiding at all. That's really impressive to do, Toshi."

The compliment doesn't make Satoshi feels better. The bit of regret now sinks deeper instead. "But—but that's not—" his breath hitches nervously, "—that's not why I wanted to show you that, Tou-san!"

Sakumo smiles. Something in it makes Satoshi feels like his father fully understands what he actually meant. "I know, son. Trust me, I know. And thank you, for showing me. Now I see just how brilliant my kids are, even as young as you are. I'm really proud of you, Toshi. I already know that you will be a strong ninja, but now I'm even more convinced, without a shadow of a doubt, that you will be a great ninja someday, someone to be reckoned and remembered for the history. So come here, son."

Satoshi allows himself to be embraced, his hands hanging onto his father's shirt, as the man also gives him a kiss on his temple. He doesn't say anything—he can't say it.

He can't quite tell his father that beyond the series of positive acknowledgement in the carefully worded sentences, little young Satoshi can glimpse the sinking self-deprecation within the man. Now he prefers it if his father just gets mad at him outright.

Once Sakumo lets go of Satoshi, who's keeping one of his hand hanging on tightly, like a last hanging thread of hope that he can still fix the situation somehow, Sakumo looks at Kakashi who is now supporting a twin expression to his brother; a look of regret.

He gives the younger a reassuring smile. "And you as well, Kashi. Thank you for always looking out for your brother whenever I'm not around myself. You don't have to feel responsible, it's not your fault, just like it's also not Toshi's fault,"—

(The man doesn't say it then, but the implication is clear for both of the twins; that their father basically blames himself for everything)

—"and I'm really proud of you too, Kashi. You're also brilliant yourself, I know you work really hard in everything you do, with Toshi and by yourself. You'll be a very fine and reliable ninja too, I know it so with all my heart. Come to me, Kashi." Then he gives Kakashi an embrace and a kiss on top of his head.

Much like his brother, the words strangely don't uplift Kakashi's heart.

They both can tell that their father's words don't carry lies or deceit in it, but they both also know that he doesn't tell them everything, won't explain to them the reasons behind the somber and gloom that he carries by himself. And they don't know what to do with it, how to give him ease of mind from whatever burdens the man. Telling him 'It's gonna be alright' feels like it won't make any difference.

So Satoshi does what little Satoshi know to and can do, and for once, Kakashi does the exact same thing, they cling to Sakumo with tight hugs, without saying anything else.

It's Sakumo's voice that fills the air, deep and grounding and gentle, like how his presence always is. "I'm so glad I get to be your father, sons. Thank you for giving me this amazing chance to be one of yours. I'm so, so blessed. Whatever happens from now, I know you two are gonna be alright. I'm not worried or afraid. You two can do anything, wish for everything, you'll realize it all."

Then stay. Satoshi wants to say, but he finds that he has lost his voice. Asking him to stay feels like it will be adding burden to the heavy load Sakumo's already carrying. He can't do it, after all. Not when he knows, just like in the case of Geto Suguru, that leaving is the easier choice.

Chapter Text

"You know it, don't you?" Kakashi voices with barely a mumble one night, when Satoshi is sitting before the closed off door, waiting for Sakumo to return from his lone nightly wander to Sage knows where.

Satoshi turns his head around to see his brother standing a few feet away behind him, dragging with him his blanket with one hand. "Know what?" He asks.

"Whatever's going on with Tou-san," Kakashi answers.

Satoshi turns his head back towards the door, not saying anything in return. It's clear that even with his effort to leave Kakashi out of the rumor's mills, Kakashi will catch a hint anyway, and knowing him with his prodigy child brain, he at least can come up with his own educated guess.

Satoshi still thinks there's no use in telling him. What can Kakashi do? He's just a kid, an actual kid. Satoshi has less excuses considering he had once been a proper adult, albeit one with not much, if any at all, expertise dealing with complex emotions.

Satoshi can hear Kakashi's tiny soft steps moving closer to him until it stops on his left, where the little boy takes a seat next to him.

"Are you not gonna tell me?"

Satoshi sighs soundlessly. "Even if I tell you, there's nothing we can do about it."

Kakashi regards his brother silently. "Do you always sit here every night, just waiting until he returns then?"

Satoshi doesn't move his eye away from the door. "Well, I always went back to bed before he opened the door, but last night I actually stopped him from going out. But he beat me into it today. I feel like he sneak out before I can reach him on purpose. Not fair, right? Tou-san can shunshin away, when I was just barely getting the blankie out. I hate being a kid so freaking much," he grumbles at the end.

Kakashi doesn't know what else to say, so he folds his knees up to his chest and hugs himself, simply saying, "I'll wait with you here then."

Satoshi doesn't know if he has any words to make Kakashi return to bed, so he just silently lets him be.

So they both sit there before the front door, waiting for any sign from beyond it of their father's return. They wait and wait, until Kakashi slips back to slumber in his seat and his small body wobbles over to Satoshi's side, who huddles closer so he can prop up the younger by the shoulder. It worries him a bit that Kakashi's gonna be feeling cold because he's not sleeping properly on the futon, so he carefully rounds up the blanket over the younger one and wraps his hands around his twin in an attempt to at least provide just a bit more warmth.

About fifty minutes has passed. He's usually coming back around this time. Then why... Satoshi bites his lips anxiously. Being a kid suckass, he curses inwardly. He really wants to run outside, search the whole village, even beyond the gates, but he knows it will be in vain.

He holds Kakashi just a little bit tighter then, in an attempt to feel some warmth to himself to stave off the sinking cold from taking over him.

He waits and waits, all in his lonesome, until another hour passes, then another passes some more, unmoving and unchanging. When the morning breaks, and there's no indication of Sakumo returning, Satoshi's worst fear comes true.

So it's happening again.

Like with Geto Suguru, now there's one more person he truly cares about that leaves him.

The sinking cold chains is holding and biting him from inside out, and he feels like he lacks the power and even the will to do anything against it. He feels so utterly helpless.

Had I known this is inevitable, maybe it would've been better if I had kept my emotions locked up like I used to.

There's a movement before his eye, and a groan can be heard from Kakashi.

"Nghh, Toshi? Did I fall asleep?" Kakashi sluggishly asks while wriggling his body out from Satoshi's hold. "Ungh, it's morning already. Did you fall asleep too? Toshi?"

Satoshi doesn't know what expression is on his face right now, he doesn't have the mind to put on an appropriate mask—not that he knows what even is the appropriate look in this situation. But something in it must have shocked Kakashi as the younger of the two widens his eye, whispering worriedly, "Toshi? Are you alright?"

He's not alright. Satoshi knows he's not. But he doesn't want to make Kakashi even more worried than he already is. He wants to say that he's okay, but it feels like too cheap a lie to even try.

How do normal people do this? It's so much simpler when I couldn't feel at all. I'm not sure what to do now. How do I do this? How can I do this? Maybe having feelings is just not for me after all. Should I just cut it off again? It will be easier for me, so much easier...

"Toshi?" Kakashi calls for him again.

Satoshi finally looks up, looks straight into Kakashi's eye, wide and round and warm and filled with concern and care and heart. It's the same eye as their father's eyes. The color and the everything in it.

For the first time in his both lives, Satoshi learns what it means to feel choked up. "Kashi," his voice barely above whisper.

Kakashi's already impossibly wide eye gets bigger somehow, then he props himself up onto his knees and wraps his arms around Satoshi's shoulder and head. "It's alright, Toshi. I'm here. We're gonna be alright."

Even the way he hugs, gives comfort, and tells him consolation, they all mirror Sakumo's; steady and solid, yet soft and kind. Kashi's truly his father's son.

(It doesn't occur to him that the sentiment is a weird one to make as one of Sakumo's son himself, but it's because deep down within his psyche, he still feels like he's nothing but an intruder in this world, where he just happens to be a Hatake, instead of claiming that he is a Hatake.)

Satoshi wonders silently, if he is the reason that made Sakumo leave them behind. He wonders, had he not been part of the picture at all, would Sakumo have chosen to stay.

Maybe it's just the way his life would always go, to care so deeply for someone who is meant to leave him, one way or another. And no matter how incredibly powerful he was as Gojo Satoru before, or how utterly powerless he is as Hatake Satoshi now, it does not matter. It seems to be written in his star, no matter the sky he was born under.

It makes him feel bitter.

"Kashi, are you gonna leave me too?" Satoshi can't help but let the bitterness seep out of his mouth without much of a thought.

Kakashi is quiet at first, mulling over his brother's sudden question. But then he sighs, saying, "Why would I leave you, Toshi? You hardly can do anything proper without me, you know? I can't leave you even if I want to. Silly Toshi."

Satoshi smiles bitterly at that. "Does that mean you do want to leave me, then?"

Kakashi's hug goes lax and Satoshi flinches; it convinces him of the answer, that Kakashi's about to actually leave him too right then and there. But Kakashi only lets go of his hold to flick Satoshi's on the forehead, illiciting a surprised yelp ("Ouch!"), before pulling him back into an even tighter embrace.

Kakashi huffs, sounding a little bit annoyed, "Why is that the one part you focus on. Haa. You need to stop thinking about useless stuff, Toshi. This is exactly why I can never leave you. So just stop imagining stuff that doesn't happen, alright. You can't be stronger with that kind of mindset. I'm here right now, and I'm telling you I'm not leaving. Just trust what I say, I mean, have I ever not kept my words to you before?"

Satoshi is dumbstruck. "Do you mean that, Kashi?"

"I'll swear on my blood or whatever, if you don't believe me that much. Gee. I promise you with my soul that I'm not leaving you alone any time soon. You're gonna find me even more annoying than ever, in fact, even more annoying than you'll ever annoy me. How about that, you silly Toshi?"

And with those words, just like that, his sinking cold heart is filled tenderly with warmth again, and the chain that almost keeps him confined shrinks into dusts and is swept away.

He finds it surprising that he believes Kakashi so easily, so naturally, like Kakashi is his own soul on a separate body.

My twin soul.

He doesn't need any more confirmation or consolation after that. So he answers in the way that little Satoshi knows to and can do. He returns Kakashi's embrace just as tight.

.oOo.

They talk about it after that, about Sakumo leaving and possibly not returning, and the possible reasons behind it.

Satoshi tells Kakashi everything that he hesitates to share before. He tells the younger about the bad-mouthing going around the village, amongst the ninja circle and even the regular folks. He tells him his thought process behind his every decision, the time when he kicked people in the shins in the market, and the time he showed the eye technique in front of Sakumo just the day before.

Satoshi tells Kakashi about his fears.

(He doesn't tell him that he fears even the fact that he can feel fear at all, but figures that it won't make much sense for Kakashi.)

"You're stupid, Toshi. Ahotoshi."

And he gets sufficiently chided afterwards.

"You jump to conclusions so quickly. Maybe you're right about people's talking shits about Tou-san is what makes him leave, but we don't even know if he's never returning. Maybe he just needs some time and space away from the village for a while. And he can't bring us with him because there's still a war outside and leaving us in the village is safer for us. Definitely not because you're annoying or hard to manage or whatever you thought of yourself. I mean, you are kind of annoying and hard to manage normally—"

"Hey!"

"—but I don't think it's a reason for Tou-san leaving at all. Didn't you say it before, that Tou-san is kind and that he loves us? Do you really, really think he will leave us because of such trivial reason?"

"... Right. Sorry, you're right, Kashi."

"Of course I am right. Now, about that shit talking going around, we need to figure out what actually happened, all the details. There's a possibility that it might be a false accusation or some kind, or the story you heard is incomplete, and most people just assume the worst and they run with it."

"I guess that can be true. It's a little weird that Tou-san has been well known for doing a lot in the war for Konoha, so much so that he's got the cool nickname for all he's done. Not everybody can get cool nickname for themselves, right?"

"See, you can see how odd it is too just by thinking about it a bit more logically. There's no way one of Konoha's hero can just turn his back on the village so suddenly like that. It doesn't make much sense. We know how he really feels about this place, he loves Konoha after all. He must be doing his best to protect it in his own way. People just spin wild tales about him because something went wrong and Tou-san happened to be there at the wrong time. And we need to find what that is."

"Okay, then. I agree with you. But, what are we gonna do after we find out the truth? How can that help Tou-san?"

"Listen. What I'm saying is, once we find out more about the truth, it's possible that we can help clear Tou-san's name."

"Oh. Oh! And then if Tou-san hears about it—" Satoshi continues.

The twins finish the thought at the same time, "—Tou-san will come back home."

And so they make it their mission then: to find out the full story behind their father's departure, so they can hopefully clear his name from whatever bad image Konoha's sticking their father with, to make sure that there can be a place their father can safely return to without having the guilt and regret still lingering, so they can live together again in their warm, warm home.

Chapter Text

Upon Sakumo's departure from Konoha village, Kakashi decides that there's no point in refraining himself from training his eye, especially because he deems that Satoshi has done well enough on his own this far without ever harming himself again after the incident during their first chakra exercise.

Satoshi is elated. So he starts telling Kakashi everything that he has discovered and achieved so far with the mutated eye; how it only interacts with the yin energy of their chakra, that the overuse of the eye power will create imbalance to the yin-yang energy and that is what's hurting them (the things that Kakashi already knows since he remembers the day they got diagnosed, but he doesn't have the heart to stop Satoshi's excited yapping), that the eye power correlates to the concept of infinite space, and when the eye is activated using their yin energy they can control it to a degree. He explains to Kakashi the mechanism that he applies when he showcases his Infinity technique.

To nobody's surprise, Kakashi understands the concept of it easily, and it makes Satoshi feel incredibly giddy.

However, it turns out that he isn't ready to be bombarded with questions he never has to mull over himself, because Six Eyes has always been more instinctual to him. There also has never been any need to put down the theoretical intricacy of Limitless into paper as nobody else but him is using it. He's just trying to figure out his power by feels and vibes, just as it had been in the past life, instead of hyperanalyzing it, which Kakashi seems intent to be doing.

"How do you tell exactly when you hit a point of imbalance that's dangerous to cross, though?"

"I can just... tell. You know, like trying to spill water from a tilted cup, you can tell the moment right before the cup will fall over. You just stop there. Easy, right?"

"But the water is yin and yang mixed together. If only the yin is spilling, how can you know the exact amount? Do you quantify it by subtracting from the leftover chakra?"

"Uhhh, no, I never did that. Why would that be necessary, though? I mean, I just know when to stop?"

"It's important so you know how long it takes for the yin and yang to recalibrate before you can use it again, dummy. It's also useful to know especially during combat so you know exactly how long and how much you can use the eye before it becomes trouble for your body. Is it half of your yin energy? A third or a fourth? How much? You should know so you can stop before it affects you and harms you."

Satoshi pouts. "Why can't I just sort of feel it? I mean if it's good enough for me. Your way is too complicated, Kashi."

Kakashi sighs. "Fine, if it works for you then it's good enough, only for you though, it's definitely not for me. But we'll figure that out later. For now, forget the upper limit, I can't even release the minimal output needed for that technique."

"Ugh, I told you already, Kashi. Just pull on it more boldly! It's gonna be fine! You're too scared or something and that's why—"

"I'm not scared, Ahotoshi! I'm just being careful and smart about it, unlike you!"

"Hahhh? Are you calling me careless and stupid then?"

"Well you obviously are!"

"Well this careless and stupid me is the one figuring this out all by myself, so it must be just a you problem, obviously!"

"No need to overestimate yourself, you just have more time to practice it the entire year. I think I can do it better and faster now that I start it too. Just watch!"

"Go ahead and try! Meanwhile I'll become stronger and stay ahead of you, Bakashi!"

"Not for long, so stay on your feet, Ahotoshi."

And so, they both each practice their eyes with different goals and different methods after that; Satoshi is trying to reach the ideal level of control over his chakra flow and to increase his range limit for his Six Eyes usage, meanwhile Kakashi is just trying to acclimate to the eye's activation and to feel the flow of his yin energy. As for Infinity technique, Satoshi is steadily gaining progress in term of the length of time he can safely hold it, while Kakashi is still struggling to initiate it. They both agree to train independently until Kakashi hits his first significant milestone, which is for him to activate and hold Infinity without it flickering on and off. They still exchange ideas together on the theoretical possibility of what they can do with the eyes.

"Do you think we can do something about the yin-yang imbalance, Toshi?"

"Huh? How though? The eye only interacts with yin energy, you know that already."

"There's probably a way to convert energy somehow. I mean it's all chakra within us, and if our eyes can perceive the difference between chakra components to tell apart yin from yang, maybe we can also find a way to convert it to help it stay balanced somehow, or something."

Satoshi admittedly never thought of it like that. Well, I was used to only cursed negative energy before, now I have both yin and yang, which I'm still trying to figure out. It's worth trying out to approach it with that perspective. "I'll see what I can do, then. I'll keep that in mind. By the way, how's your progress, Kashi?"

"Hm, I can kind of feel the energy flow much clearer now, I guess. I can activate Infinity for like 2 seconds, but that's about it."

"Already?! It's only been a week!"

"Oh, did it take you longer to do that?"

"Hmph, not by much. Don't be too smug about it, Kashi."

"Sure."

There's something especially exalting about sharing his Six Eyes capability and trying to figure it out together with someone else. Back then, in before, he was always put on a pedestal so high even from a very tender age, simply because he possessed both Six Eyes and Limitless cursed technique, a rarity so legendary that his birth was a cause for great celebration. While the responsibility that came with the power didn't bother him in the slightest—it had been quite the fun journey all throughout in fact, trying to figure it all out, but ultimately he bore all that responsibility and even joy very much by himself. He knew, even back then, had he just recklessly slipped upon the slippery slope of emotions, he could distinctively recognize the feeling of loneliness within it all.

He didn't let himself slip, of course, as he kept his emotions all very tightly suppressed, brushing it all behind the powerful tool of being nonchalant about everything and anything, with a whole lot of cool detachment and generous amount of unfeeling. From a very young age, in that world of before, he already taught himself that he had to be indifferent to most things; he had no precious possession, had no strong attachment to anything or anyone, had to cut off all possible strings before it could evolve into deeply entrenched relationship.

After all, a cursed spirit born from a sorcerer as strong as Gojo Satoru could be disastrous, and it was just simply not an option, if he wanted to keep people safe. So he locked that box of emotions so far out of mind and never bothered to open it up ever.

If there was ever any moment he almost touch the forbidden box, there had been 2 moments, both times involving the same one person: Geto Suguru.

The first time had been so subtle, the kind of a slow fall that was almost imperceptible at first, where he had nearly, in a manner that was almost hypnotic, clicked the key open; it had been when he had his talk with Suguru in the middle of the bustling crowd of Shinjuku, barely able to hold himself back from sending a blast towards the man he had—always had—thought was his best friend.

The logic had been alluringly deceiving; if he had killed him right then and there, it would have served enough of a punitive judgment for all his crimes, and it would have prevented more bloody events down the line, which even in that moment would have been predictably bad, most of all beyond tragic, especially for the innocents non-sorcerers who had no other crimes than being oblivious of the jujutsu world; Suguru had been both unsalvageable and irredeemable by that point.

But he had stopped himself by mere seconds, the years of fine-tuning his instinct telling him that the moment he was to pull the technique off, he would definitely regret it; the kind of regret that would have been irreversible and unfixable. And if there was anything he knew about that kind of deep regret, was that it was a hefty negative feeling just ready to be birthed as one mean cursed spirit. In the end, he had settled with the smaller, safer unfeeling logic that he would handle Suguru later if and when it would come down to that, and he promised himself that he would be ready for it.

And how truly ready he had been for it indeed, as he crouched down barely 2 steps away from the dying man himself on that street intersection, quiet and empty except for the two of them, and he had been so in control of himself in that moment that the metaphorical box of emotions had been, by all means, safely tucked away and buried in the farthest corner of his mind and heart.

It had been a tremendous feat, the kind that any lesser man with a delusion of grandeur would have fallen apart by just trying to foolishly attempt it. But he was neither delusional nor a fool. Not only he had gone through the whole ordeal with unparalleled, near inhuman composure, he had finished Suguru with his own hands.

However, when it was all over, it didn't bring him any satisfaction nor pride. He simply refused to think about it ever since; so he never had to face whatever lingering, implied non-unfeeling emotions that may have formed with the memory of that day.

But the second time happened eventually, more dangerous and steep of a fall than the first, as it had happened so suddenly, striking him like a lightning bolt from directly above his head, and the box almost immediately cracked by implosion; it had happened when he encountered Kenjaku, who had been with all the shamelessness in the world using the stolen dead body that had been once Suguru's, for the first time in Shibuya's underground train station.

It had been so bizarre for him, with his superhuman rapid processing speed that was used to all kinds of violence and combat, and the experience more than worthy of being called a veteran in the field, to have his mind for a very brief yet very substantial moment to come to a screeching halt like that. He had never quite experienced something remotely close to that time, prior or since; not even during his battle with Fushiguro Toji when he had been the closest to ever touch fingers with the Death.

It had been that brief yet substantial moment that had allowed that damn prison box to trap him in the first place.

He couldn't quite face it head on back then—didn't have the time to admit it really, but truth of the matter was, had it not been for the prison box already enclosing and entrapping his Limitless, his very own personal buried box of all feelings would have shattered in that very point of history. The timing of everything during that day ended up somewhat working to his favor so he could suppress the box back into the cool safe corner of his heart.

And that was how the legacy of Gojo Satoru was built by him, by careful crafting and deliberate calculation of the neverending never-feeling, all by himself, in his lone and cold highest tower known by the world as The Strongest Sorcerer of the era.

But here, right now, not only he doesn't have to bear the Six Eyes alone, he doesn't have to hold back his feelings about anything or anyone. He's allowed to feel here, and to feel deeply.

He has yet to shed tear, or feel the kind of regret so irreversible and unfixable—he sure hopes he never has to, but really, he can tell that kind of wish is rather unrealistic—but he did taste something close to despair recently, with their father leaving. It doesn't help that the situation mirrors his past life too much; it certainly hits too close to home.

But here, in this moment, another stark but welcome difference from before, is that he doesn't have to go through the sea of feelings all alone anymore. And just like with his Six Eyes, he now can share the burden of opening and pouring out the box of feelings with someone else who understands him on a level where no one has ever been; his very own brother, by flesh and blood and power that run through their veins.

So giddy about feeling it all, Satoshi can't help but giggle and wiggle in his feet.

"What are you giggling about over there now, Toshi?"

The acknowledgement somehow makes him giggle even more. "Kashi, Kashi~ Hey, I still can't quite believe that you're actually training the eyes with me earnestly now. It makes me so happy, you know? Say, say, Kashi, can we do the eye training for the entire day tomorrow? We can train so you can catch up to my current record, and I can expand my time three times longer! No, five times! Sounds like a great idea, right, right? Hey, Kashi~"

Kakashi sighs in disbelief. "I can't with your stupidity, Toshi,"— "What?" Satoshi squawks at that— "If you do that, you're gonna send yourself into another week long blackout so severe it might permanently ruin your chakra core this time. Haa, see, this is why I can't leave you do things on your own, you might as well try to leave the country to find Tou-san yourself, war or no war. Who knows if you still remember you're just a four year old and very much not a ninja, much less—"

"Wait, woah, what did you just say, Kashi?"

"I said, you're so stupid and reckless sometimes that you act like you want to send yourself into an early grave—"

"No no no, you mentioned something, something about, a number of year old I am, what number is that again, you said?"

Kakashi stares at him, so expressively yet so deadpan at the same time, "Are you being so serious right now?"

"Um, yeah? I thought I misheard it, so I want you to repeat what you said."

"I can't believe you. Did you actually forget your own age? I know you're silly, but this is something else, Toshi. Did you hit your head too hard or something? Should we check you up to the hospital? I'm worried now."

"Oh, shush now. I'm very dandy actually. Come on, just tell me already! Did you really say the number that I thought you said or not?"

Kakashi tilts his head to the side. "Toshi, I think we really need to go to the hospital. Brain damage and hearing impairment this young is not a good indicator for an aspiring nin—"

"Kashi! Stop messing with me!"

"—ja and has uncontrollable bursts of anger too, not to mention mood swing. What symptoms these could be about, I wonder..."

"Gah! Kashiii!" Satoshi runs towards his brother, hands spread out in the air like he's about to jump on Kakashi.

The younger twin is happy to indulge with the impromptu chase play, adopting the giggles this time while Satoshi is snarling and demanding answer.

Satoshi doesn't actually need to hear the confirmation, he knows what he heard; —you're just a four year old—, Kakashi has said. He can't believe he forgot their birthday was just about a fortnight ago. Only after Kakashi brought it up that he remembers what day it is. He draws a mental calendar in his head and counts the days; it's been 17 days since their 4th birthday.

Hah, isn't that a funny coincidence?

17 days was also the number of days difference of 2 significant, separate events in his past life; 17 days after his 28th birthday was the death of Geto Suguru, and 17 days after his 29th birthday was the death of Gojo Satoru.

Yet here he is now, alive and not anymore unfeeling, 17 days after his second 4th birthday, realizing that he wants to see this life unshackled by any rules or restrictions, be it self-imposed or society-bound, with or without the regret, but most definitely not alone.

I'll make sure I'll never have to be alone ever again.

"Kashiii! Watch out~ I'mma get ya!"

"Try to touch me, Toshi! You can't!"

"'Course I can! Here! Hup—wha—?!"

"See, you can't touch me now!"

Kakashi just activates Infinity and holds it solid; Satoshi's hands hover near his skin but never touching.

"I guess I win this time," Kakashi smirks.

The invisible barrier doesn't last longer than 6 seconds, and he doesn't need to see Kakashi's left eye closing but Satoshi can feel the sensation of it disappearing from his fingertips.

"Kashi!" Satoshi jumps onto Kakashi, not at all upset but feeling excited instead. "Kashi, Kashi!" His body weight sends them both rolling onto the ground.

"Oof! Toshi, what is wrong with you today? You've been acting so weird," Kakashi groans, trying to wiggle his way out of Satoshi's clutch, only to find the octopus hold of his brother overpowering him.

"Nothing! I'm just, uhm, proud of you. Yeah, that's it! I'm very proud of your progress, Kashi!"

"Really?"

"Un! Proud of Kashi!"

"Well, I wish I can say the same about your kanji study progress, but you're still lagging way behind."

Satoshi smiles broadly. My twin soul. All for me.

"How is it that my brother's so weird," Kakashi comments as he can't think of a reason to Satoshi's broad smile. "Ugh, get off me, Toshi! I don't wanna get the weird virus too!"

"Oh, Kashi! I just realize! We're half a year away from the academy school year starting! Akh! Can it come any faster? I need it here by tomorrow!"

"Yep, you're such a weirdo, Toshi."

"And you're this weirdo's brother, Kashi!"

"... That I am. Haa. Get off my back, Toshi. You're all gross and sweaty."

"Oh, you won't believe how even more gross you're about to be."

"Sage, please, no."

"Haha! Sage, yes!"

.

.

.

Chapter Text

After the younger Hatake twin gets some level of control over the Infinity technique, Satoshi and Kakashi falls into a new routine again. They go to the market early in the morning when the sun is not even up yet to stock up for the day, then breakfast at home, and they will go straight to training just in time for the sunrise. They train mostly basic taijutsu and ninja weapon handling, before taking a break in the afternoon for lunch. For the rest of the daylight they will focus solely on their eye training, with Kakashi taking the role of a strict referee.

"Alright, your time is up, Toshi. Wear your eyepatch again, here."

"Nooo. It's too fast, Kashi. I can still do more, come on!"

"Nope. You already surpassed your record from yesterday anyway—"

"By like 20 seconds?"

"—with more surface coverage, mind you, so that's good enough progress. You can try more later. I'm just telling you to take a break, while I do my training. I'm planning to push it a bit extra today, so you have to look out for me."

"Oh? How much extra? I'm telling you, though, you just have to do it more confidently, like bam! I do it just like that and I'm always fine!"

"Yeah, bam, like two years' worth of bam, you mean? I know I'm good, but I can't do it in one day, or in a few months only, you know. It's also why you have to take a break right now. You made your progress for the day, no need to rush it."

"Hng, but my chakra is perfectly fine! I swear I can do it just a bit mo—"

"Toshi, we've been over this. You follow whatever I say, so I can make sure both of us are not overdoing it. Did we or did we not agree on this already?"

"... I feel like I'm being scolded by Tou-san again."

"Well, because you need a good scolding, since you can be more stubborn than a rock. Now, wear your eyepatch, please."

And as soon as the sun is setting, they return home to wash up, make dinner, and sit down together for their kanji studies, where Satoshi only does half-heartedly half of the time, or he will just straight up fall asleep over his textbooks in the middle of it.

It's one night after about 3 months of Sakumo leaving when Kakashi is being insistent that Satoshi stays up for the entire kanji study session without falling asleep early for once.

"But Kashi, it's so boring. There's no use to do more anyway since Tou-san's not around to keep his promise. Can I just take it easy?"

"I'll allow you to train longer tomorrow if you keep up with today's session."

"... Promise?"

"Double pinky promise."

"Deal!"

So Satoshi happily does his kanji works that particular evening, which comes easy for him since all he has to do is just stay awake until the kanji self-study hour is over; he doesn't need to do any actual active learning after all.

"I don't get you, Toshi. You study kanji so well, faster than me sometimes. But you're just so lazy about it."

"Well, 'cause I'm super smart, of course. Kanji is easy, it's just boring."

"Whatever. Deal is invalid if you don't do it all the way through."

"Surety sure~"

Luckily for Satoshi, Kakashi doesn't find the speed that he's doing all his kanji work suspicious at all, being a prodigy with a learning curve far above average himself, so he just concludes that it is Satoshi's unique trait to be faster with his kanji learning pace. It's cheating, but it works for Satoshi.

Seeing how enthusiastic the idea of extra training is making Satoshi do his work, Kakashi takes the opportunity to push their session into the night.

"Kashi, do you always do it until this late?"

"Hm. Yeah. You wouldn't know since you would already be snoring at this point."

"Hey! I don't snore, okay! Ugh, this is a lot, though. Can we just stop for the day now?"

"Come on, you can do it. I do it every day. If you stop now there's no extra training for you tomorrow."

"No! Fine, I'm doing it! Kashi you meanie!"

They end up doing their kanji works until past midnight, longer than usual even for Kakashi but he deliberately didn't reveal it to his brother.

That innocent moment will make way for a terrible happening on the very next day. But none of them knows it yet, as they fall to a deep sleep next to each other that night, not knowing that they're gonna be separated for the first time; the kind of separation that in any other normal circumstances will be the permanent outcome, if it not for a very reckless bold decision Satoshi will later make.

.

.

.

"Come on, Toshi. Weren't you excited for the extra training last night?"

"I am! I am looking forward to it! I'm just," he makes a yawn, "it's so early, Kashi. You could've let me sleep in a little longer, you know," Satoshi whines.

"And to go shopping by myself? No thanks. I need someone to hold the paperbags."

"Kashi's a meanie~"

So there Satoshi is, being dragged to the morning market with his eye barely open.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the corner of the market, in a secluded spot overlooking the wide and long open street where the twins are currently walking, there are 2 voices talking, their presence concealed beneath the shadows.

"Can't believe the info is right. They do go out here freakishly early, even for adults."

"Yeah, and if this bit is true, the other bits might as well."

"Right, makes it easier for us to do our job."

The 2 figures follow the movements of the twins closely from the shadows, since the moment they enter the area until they exit the market holding 3 paperbags filled with various food ingredients. They follow the kids even to their home, where the twins spend about 40 minutes inside, before going out through their backyard into the forest area.

"For kids their age, it's remarkable how precise their scheduling is. You'd think they're at least already in ninja academy with the way they're conducting things."

"It's probably because of their father, no? The bastard was the last of their clan, so he must've been overjoyed when he found out he could whip two squirts at the same time."

"Makes you wonder why he left the two kids behind. Maybe he realized it's jut too much work as a runaway."

"I don't give a damn about his reasoning. It's good for us anyway that he doesn't bring them with him. Now we just have to get one of them and deliver the brat, then we can be done with all of this bullcrap and get away ourselves. I'm sick and tired of this place."

"Yeah, we just have to do this precisely right. Should be easy enough, they're just chibi helpless brats after all. Don't mess up."

"Hmph. I won't."

The twins remain oblivious of the lurking shadows that is constantly watching their every move from afar.

"Toshi, your movement is very sluggish. This is not good."

"Well, sorry for being sleep deprived, Kashi you meanie!"

"That's not a valid excuse because we literally slept the same amount of hours, remember."

"But I need my quality beauty sleep while you apparently don't!"

"Gotta prepare for all kinds of situations if you want to be a ninja, you know. Can't always have it your way out there."

"Sure I can! Why not? Besides, there is that and there is this!"

"Which is?"

"You bullying me for your sick enjoyment! It's not a requirement for a ninja, I'm pretty sure."

"Haha, it is for you because I'm your brother. Deal with it."

"Meanie! Kashi's a big meanie!"

And so they continue with their training, sometimes while cracking jokes at each other, but remain serious most of the time. It's an hour away from their usual lunch break when Kakashi decides to take pity on Satoshi.

"Let's stop early so we can have extra break today. I did promise you extra training for later in the afternoon. So I'll give you some time if you want to take a nap, Toshi."

"Oh, Sage, finally! Haa, I thought I have a devil for a brother, but you're okay, I guess!" Satoshi remarks, letting his body flop into the ground, resting.

"You guess? Want me to take the time off back? We can just fully train—"

"Nope! You can't! I'm gonna take a nap right here right now, and you can't stop me!" Satoshi declares before quickly relaxing his body so he can immediately get the nap he desperately needs.

"Are you sure you're gonna sleep here?"

"Mm, yeah. The weather's nice here."

"You're right. It should be winter soon but today feels rather warm. Anyway, I think I'm gonna return to the house, though. Make sure to get back for lunch, Toshi."

"Mm, 'kay~"

It is then that the 2 shadowy figures make a move, following Kakashi all the way to the Hatake compound. But before Kakashi can enter the house, one of the figure suddenly appears behind him, covers his mouth and pricks him in the neck with a specialized needle at the same time. It happens too fast for young Kakashi to even react as he immediately slumps over and loses consciousness.

The man holds the small body, then gives signal to his partner nearby, before the two at the same time get away from there, with the young boy in their hands.

.

.

.

Satoshi wakes up from his nap with a start.

His left eye opens wide, and he feels it immediately; Something's wrong. What? He takes no time gathering his focus, and quickly notices the wrongness. The sun's a bit low for it to still be midday, so it's past lunch hour already. Why didn't Kashi get me? He wouldn't joke like this. Wait. He gets up standing, body goes rigid with sudden fright. Where is Kashi?

Satoshi runs back to the house, mind swirling with heavy bubbling irrational fear yet again. No, it can't be. There's no way Kashi would do that to me. I told him, asked him about it, and he told me that he would never! But, he can't be lying, not to me, right? I can't—I won't—!

What greets him at the house is a confirmation that is different to his initial fear, but just as bad if not worse.

The door is slightly open. It was definitely closed when we left. So Kakashi did return back here. But why—?

The door being slightly ajar is an indication that Kakashi at least has opened it, as the house cannot be opened nor intruded by anyone else but a Hatake clan member.

But with the door opened or not, the house is too still and quiet, unnaturally so. Even without checking, Satoshi instinctively knows that there's nobody in the house at the moment. But he goes inside anyway, slamming the door open to the fullest and calling loudly, "Kashi! Kashi, where are you?"

He sweeps the entire house in one round of quick inspection, already dreading the answer. When he's back to the spot by the back door looking out into the backyard, Satoshi's breath is labored, not from the running, but from the mounting anxiety.

It scares him, how uncontrollable his feelings are now in this world compared to before, how frighteningly real the sinking heaviness anchoring within his heart, grabbing him by the neck in chains. He's scared of how small he actually feels, a feeling he's still not getting used to, but now it can't be brushed aside because the gravity of the situation just pulls him under so quickly that he loses his footing and now he feels like falling

falling

falling

FALLING.

"Haa... Haaa..." His troubled breathing is getting worse as in his head he keeps calling for his twin with sheer raw desperation, Kashi, no, you can't— you can't leave me—not like this after—I don't wanna be alone again—not by you—!

He's on his knees right by the threshold, fingers curled so tight it hurts his own skin. But before he can fall completely into a full blown panic attack, his eye notices something on the wooden floor before him.

There's a very faint trace of footprints trail. A pair of footwears that definitely doesn't belong to Kakashi's tiny feet, which also clearly have been there in that position, except the trail doesn't continue into the house or even lead outside.

Someone took Kashi away?

The realization hits him so abruptly that it halts his panic from taking over. Ugh, but where? Where could they go? I don't even have a faintest idea! Shit! If only I could somehow find a way, how to—ugh, my head! Can it! what do I do, shit shit shit! If only chakra residual can be detected like cursed energy—

That's when it occurs to him. Can this Six Eyes do that? I've never tried, but— he doesn't give it time to hesitate. He pulls his eyepatch off, takes a single deep breath (Please work, please work, please work!), and opens his Six Eyes—

"Ah."

—and he sees intense clarity of everything before him; the color of the wooden floor, the texture of the surface, the almost unseen sway of the seemingly still grass behind it, and the dirt that is sticking to the floor in the clear shape of footwear soles belonging to one adult and one small child.

But even more importantly than the increased clarity of all the sight, is the apparition of chakra's residual in the air.

I can—? I can see it! It's there!

Satoshi has been so busy directing his Six Eyes inward, to see his chakra flow around his body and deal with the imbalance of his chakra reserve everytime he tries to use Limitless, and is struggling with solely that, forgetting completely to see what it can possibly do outward.

He feels so stupid for a miniscule of moment, berating himself for never trying—it had once been a default mode for Six Eyes, one he could not deactivate even by using coverage, one that not even the cursed prison box could shut down; so he thought he simply didn't carry the ability any longer. He's never felt so glad to be wrong.

He quickly focus entirely on the lingering, thin but clear smoke-like wisp of chakra trail that is levitating right there in the air before him. I can still detect the energy, or what's left of it, I just have to find out where it goes and follow the trail.

And he finds the trail easily; into the forest, rounding about the training ground area where he was at, further out and away from the village. He follows it, until it bypasses the wall, and into the larger, denser forest that hides the hidden village. The implication of having to venture outside the village border for the first time all on his own doesn't deter him one bit.

Satoshi moves and he doesn't stop moving.

.

.

.

Chapter Text

Kakashi very slowly comes back to consciousness, feeling deeply groggy and heavy. Dull headache is thumping in his skull, and his mouth feels like it's been filled with wet sand. He tries to move his body only to find out that his hands and feet are tightly bound and his body up to his neck are tucked inside some kind of thick coarse fabric. It's the thing that alerts him back to somewhat clearer focus.

His right eye opens up to a sight of blurry after images of trees getting further and further away in a speed that hits him with more dizziness. When he tries to say something, his jaw can't move; something is taped to his face, covering his mouth tight. The failed attempt produces only pained groan.

"Mngh!"

But the pained groan is enough to give away his awakeness to his captor that is holding him up by the shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The moment the man realizes it, he stops at a branch and gives a signal to the other man. "Hey, stop for a sec. I think the brat's awake."

The other man, much shorter in stature compared to the first guy, stops slightly ahead and looks back around, gruffing, "Already? The drug should've knocked him out for half a day, no? Did you lessen the dose?"

"No, I didn't. Maybe the kid is somewhat resistant. I'll just give it to him again," the tall man calmly replies. He puts Kakashi down to lay against the bark of the tree, where their eyes finally meet one another.

Kakashi wants to demand answers, to know who they are and what they want, but the tape prevents him, so he glares at the man before him, sending as much disgust and hostility as he can through one eye alone.

"Hah, look at the brat staring you down. So scary~" the short man points out mockingly.

The tall man only stares back boringly, with very dead looking eyes. "That's cute, kid. I like it, would've been disappointing if you give up so easily so early. You are, after all, from a shinobi clan. To resist and to fight comes from within your blood," the man drawls, voice heavy and thick with mumbles; it's like the man doesn't want a chat, but just happens to be talking out loud to himself.

The man then brings out a small rolled bag from within his cloak and unrolls it on the surface of the branch to unveil a set of tools that young Kakashi can't fully identified. He can see vials and needles and small bottles in it, but he doesn't know what and how they're used for. He doesn't need to, he can tell the man is gonna use something from it on him to suppress him back to another long unnatural sleep.

Kakashi's mind races. The branch they're on looks high, but not fatally high. Seeing how these 2 unknown men are capturing him and putting him in a binding rope inside a sack, and using drug to knock him out, it's safe to assume that they're trying to kidnap him without having to harm him. So Kakashi takes the risk.

"Hmph!" He pushes his entire body to a side roll, throwing himself off the branch. And as he has expected, one of the guy reacts immediately to catch him from crashing his head into the ground.

"Oi, oi, don't just kill yourself now, kiddo. Can't get our prize if you croak before the handover. Do it later, you brat," the short man grouches at him, holding onto the scruff of the sack Kakashi's in.

"Mngh!" The boy then starts to struggle, swinging his body in any way he can while still tightly bound and weakened.

"Woah, now, now. Still got energy, huh? Color me impressed," the man snorts, not taking it seriously. "Hey, can I just manually knocks the brat out? You can still inject the drug afterwards, right?" He asks his partner, who is calmly concocting some kind of mixture to a vial, leaving it to his partner to hold onto the boy.

The tall man answers from up the branch, "It doesn't really matter, as long as there's no irreversible damage. That's the only requirement they ask, other than keeping him alive."

The man holding onto Kakashi smirks. "Nah, I change my mind." With one hand still holding up the sack, his other hand grabs Kakashi by the jaw.

"Kkh!" Kakashi can only groan, as the man's nails are digging into his face.

"Look at this fearless brat. Little shit is cursing me with his one cute round eye. Aw, you still have fat chubby cheeks too. What am I gonna do with you, hmm?"

Kakashi doesn't back down, he redoubles his effort instead. His jaw bones especially hurt since the man practically claws his fingers into his skin and flesh.

"Tch, stubborn prickly little bastard. Trying to fight off adults now, huh? This fucking audacity. I'll show you how useless you are!" The man slaps the boy square in his right cheek, so hard that the force throws him to the cold rocky ground, and the strings of his eyepatch snaps.

"...!!!" There's no sound coming out from him, as his breath gets sucked out from his lungs forcefully. Kakashi feels pain erupting from everywhere on his body; in his shoulder blades, in between his cartilages, in the joint of his knees, on the side of his head, in his jutting elbow, and inside of his mouth. He can taste blood coating his tongue. His headache escalates from dull thumps to sharp stabbings.

It's the first time in his life to ever experience such level of pain and hurt, and considering his 4 year old body, he has yet to build up resistance to it all. And yet, enduring all of it with gritted teeth, he refuses to let his tears out. He gathers his wit again, gulps in air through his now bloody nose, then pushes his head up so he can look straight at the man who just threw him to the ground, sending the man another unyielding glare.

"Not backing down, huh. I see, shinobi clan members really are built different. I hate it," the man sneers, looking down with his nose up.

"Hey," the taller man calls as he jumps down from the tree branch, tucking the rolled bag back into his inside cloak. "Be careful. Didn't I just tell you not to do it too much? Our entire future hinges on this delivery."

"I know, I know," the short man rolls his eyes. "The brat's gonna recover easily with just this much. Unlike us, his gene is made up to take punches harder than us the normies. It was just a slap for sage's sake."

"Shinobi clan member or not, he's still a four year old kid. He has not developed what is required to be a ninja."

"And yet, they want this underdeveloped ninja boy for themselves. So much so that they're willing to pay us insane amount of bucks for him."

"It's in the dormant potential that makes him worth the price. He's not it just yet, but he'll be trouble sooner or later. Come on, now, let's do this thing right. We absolutely can't ruin this chance," the taller chides the other guy.

"Haa, alright. I give. I was just messing around with him a bit. Brat's still glaring at us so clearly he's fine," the short man grumbles.

"I'm just being careful."

"Right, whatever. Just do whatever you gotta do. Tch."

The tall man doesn't reply after that, looking down at Kakashi with a cold calculating gaze.

Kakashi can somehow tell, that even with the difference in the ways they treat and handle him, they both hold the same intense hatred everytime they look at him. He doesn't know who these men are, can't even begin to guess, but it sounds like just the fact that he's a member of a shinobi family is enough to anger them, which confuses little Kakashi greatly.

The taller man walks towards Kakashi and crouches down before him, reaching out to grab the sack so his head is essentially held up to face the man eye to eye. "Don't take it the wrong way, kid. It's nothing personal. Just doing what pays to live the life we've been dreaming for. Blame your luck, or you can blame your father too, I guess. That's probably easier to do, understandably." He then gives a signal to his partner to hold the boy for him, which the short man grumpily do.

And then Kakashi sees it, a syringe and a vial filled with a clear greyish liquid inside. He knows what it is immediately. Whatever has knocked him out prior, is gonna be injected into his vein again. "Umph!!" He trashes out some more in the man's firm hold, predictably to no avail.

"Show me part of his neck," the tall man gives a command and the short guy complies by forcefully pulling Kakashi's head a certain way that his neck muscles are pulled taut and exposed.

He struggles still, showing real fear on his already dusty and bloody face.

And when the tip of the syringe is finally near his body, he pulls the card from up his sleeve; he opens his left eye and activates Infinity.

And the syringe never pierces his skin.

"What—what's going on?!" The taller man's eyes widen in disbelief, and the mask of indifference immediately vanishes.

"What is it? Why are you not doing it?" The short man snarks.

"I am doing it! Something is preventing me from touching the skin, like a barrier!"

"What the hell? Stop fucking around and do it already!"

"Shit! I said it can't get through! You think I'm joking in a time like this?"

The short man clicks his tongue in annoyance, takes a look at his partner's hand holding the syringe close to the boy's exposed skin, and noticing that his partner is speaking truthfully. He can tell from the muscle and veins in the man's hand that it's not poised in a relaxed state; he's in a position not to simply inject anymore, but to stab the syringe in. "What the hell?"

Kakashi's trying his best to focus Infinity to cover only his neck area, and he never would've thought it before that smaller concentrated area covered by Infinity takes much more considerable effort than letting it loose to cover as much as it could, but the good thing is he can feel that it doesn't drain his chakra as much and as quickly; it just puts extra strain on his eye.

I can hold this longer, as long as I control it well, he concludes. Luckily for him, the two kidnappers don't look like they have the faintest idea of what's unfolding before them.

The short man pulls on Kakashi's hair harshly then, and the boy makes a pained sound, "Gurgh!!" His right eye scrunches shut from the tight pressure on his temple but he refuses to close his left eye. The tall man is still trying to push the syringe needle to his neck.

"What is this—what's going on?" The tall man questions out loud, befuddled by something he doesn't understand nor ever experience before. "There's no way it's a jutsu?"

"Quit it, that's impossible! He's four, for sage's sake!"

"Then how can you explain this?!"

"Fuck, how would I know? Maybe the deadbeat dad left a protective seal before he left, I don't fucking know. Just fucking do it!" The short man barks.

"Shit," the tall man curses. "Rough him up a little. Let's see if we can find an opening somehow," he decides.

"You sure? Didn't you tell me to be fucking careful just now? Fuck, why don't I just knock him out cold with my bare hands then?"

"We can't have him waking up every half an hour, our journey is still at least a day away. I'm upping the dose with this one but we have to get it into him first. If we can't then I'll allow you to do that."

The short guy smirks. "Fine then. You hear that, kid? Don't blame me for it," he remarks, just about the last warning for Kakashi to brace for upcoming impact. The man shakes and hits his head with his fist, grabbing his neck and pulling his hair, doing everything he can think of to 'rough him up a little' without going overboard.

In extra defiance, without closing the eye, Kakashi twists and trashes his body around as much as he can. I just have to hold them off. Need to buy time. Toshi will tell someone eventually. Just have to hold on for a bit more time!

So they try various tactics on him for a while, with the taller man also contributing to more abuse. At one point, he decides to open up the sack so he can try to inject the needle through the arms, but the same thing happens; the tip of the needle cannot touch the skin much less pierce through it.

While it works to Kakashi's advantage that the men think the invisible barrier covers his entire body, the strain on his eye to focus for a prolonged period of time on very specific part is starting to tire him out, not to mention he has to take all the rough pushing and pulling and hitting just so he can efficiently use Infinity for as long as he possibly can stretch for. The constant pulling of yin energy from his chakra is also starting to feel too much; the balance will tilt over dangerously any moment now.

"Why the fuck we can slap him around but your needle can't even touch him? I've never heard of any jutsu or seals that can do that!"

"Your guess is as good as mine. You know what, let's have him black out first just this one time. The drug will have him sleeping until the handover anyway."

"Finally! Could've got this done faster, holy shit!" And so after a while of their neverending struggle with the little kid, the short man is given permission to do what he's been itching to do. But the moment he moves his hand to chop the boy's nape, he experiences the same trouble that his partner has with the syringe; his hand hovers just above the skin, as something invisible is preventing his movement. "What. The fuck?!"

The taller man notices it immediately, as it finally dawns on him. He sweats profusely in nervousness. "Shit. I see it now. The kid must be controlling it somehow. Shit. We did a mistake when we gave him the chance to even wake up."

"What. What the fuck you mean he's controlling it? Brat's not even in the academy, he can't have known any ninjutsu already?!"

"Don't ask me how, it's just what it is. I guess there's a specific reason why the clients want one of them Hatake brats. They probably know this and didn't bother to tell us."

The shorter man spits to the ground. "Tch. What do we do then, just put him in the sack the entire way like this?"

"No. Let's keep at it. I'm sure he will get tired soon enough. He can't keep doing whatever mysterious jutsu he's doing for too long."

So the two men keep relentlessly beating Kakashi in a way that won't give him permanent damage; slapping and pulling and hitting and shaking that will surely leave marks and bruises all over his body, not to mention give him major headaches, all while the syringe needle still poises readily above his exposed forearm, just waiting for the unseen partition that protects his skin to disappear any time now. There are scratches everywhere, on his arms and on his face, all from the men's harsh and merciless nails.

They keep at it, frustratingly so, until the shorter man can't take it anymore. He roars, "Argh! Fuck it! Move over!" He shoves his partner aside, slams Kakashi's body fully into the ground and grabs him by the neck, his body positioned above the boy to lock most of his torso and his feet from moving around. He snarls to his partner without looking away from the kid under him, "Put the drug into his mouth while I hold him!"

The other man doesn't hesitate. He rips the tape covering the boy's mouth, and the short guy immediately shoves his fingers into it to hold it open.

Kakashi knows it in that exact moment what they're about to do; they're gonna shove the syringe into his mouth and inject the drug through the inner lining. He doesn't know if Infinity can work inside the body or not, but there's no way to find out now; he can feel he's reaching his limit for the eye usage. Either way, it's over for him.

So he just shuts both of his eyes tight, bracing for the needle and the drug to finally take him out.

But just as the tip of the needle is touching the inner side of his mouth then, a scream tears out from somewhere close, and something shoots through the air, knocking the taller man several feet backs, and the syringe flies out of his hand.

That something is Satoshi. He flung himself towards the man that was about to hurt his brother, experiencing for the first time in his both lives, uncontained rage and unrestrained hatred, so intense it takes over his brain and completely shuts down even his rational thought.

All he knows, in that moment, is he needs so badly to hurt whomever is hurting Kakashi, to impart to them so much pain just for trying to take Kakashi away from him.

He speaks with a growl carrying the authority unbefitting of a child, and it sends involuntary shivers down the two men's spines, "Get away from my brother. I'll kill you both. You filthy trash."

Chapter Text

Satoshi should be glad that he somehow manages to catch up with Kakashi's captors when it had been hopelessly impossible by any measure. First, he started the chase very late; he didn't even know how long since Kakashi was taken until he unnaturally got woken up from his nap. Second, he is in the body of a 4 year old child following faint chakra leftover trail of someone with much bigger body and therefore more span and speed on their feet. Third, which is the worst of all to him, the chakra residual is an indication that it is the work of adult shinobi; and he could see at least 2 of them. At any point in the way, the trail could've gone cold had they known to use any advance technique to run away for good.

Even with all that in mind, along with endless waves of anxiety and fear, he kept on running.

While running, he recalled that ninja can do fast movement like leaping between spots in rapid successions; their father once showed them before he got preoccupied with the war. But Satoshi doesn't know how to do it yet; never got to ask nor got taught it—never thought that he might need it before even entering the ninja academy. So he ran and ran and did not allow himself to stop even for a moment.

But he knew he was not without option. Teleportation, like Infinity, had been another basic application of his Limitless cursed technique in the past. He just never got the time or opportunity to try it out yet; Infinity, along with the chakra's shape shifting asymmetry, have been his 2 sole priorities.

He briefly calculated it, and before he could even weigh in the possible drawbacks from reckless attempt, he risked it anyway.

In the farthest spot where his Six Eyes could detect the lingering chakra footprint, he made it his target point for his attempted teleportation technique, then he pulled on his yin energy to release the teleportation technique to send himself from his prior spot.

A blink away, and it worked. With all his body parts intact no less.

He didn't have time for a celebration. He quickly made the mental note of how much the technique consumed his yin energy, and made the calculations that he could pull off at least 6 leaps of teleporting that same distance before his yin energy would hit a dangerous level.

(There was a suspiciously Kakashi-like voice in his head telling him, "I told you so, precise calculation is better than going at it by vibe. See, I'm right again, Ahotoshi.")

So Satoshi made leap after leap in between his restless sprint, wishing the trail to not stop at a dead end.

And just when he made the sixth teleportation leap, he finally caught glimpse of the owner of the chakra footprints.

And he saw Kakashi there, all battered and bleeding under two complete strangers with their hands all over Kakashi.

And his most visceral part took over from there.

"Get away from my brother."

Satoshi should be glad, ecstatic even, had it been in any other circumstances, knowing that he somehow made considerable progress with his Six Eyes and Limitless techniques; not only he could control the sensory sensitivity of his eyesight to the point of detecting residual chakra usage, he even figured out teleportation and made several successful attempts for it, all under unimaginable amount of immense pressure.

But he can't find it in him to feel proud or satisfied. All he feels right now is just insurmountable anger.

Kakashi has been taken away from him, has been hurt. Even as he closes his Six Eyes to rest it after his reckless usage, the picture of Kakashi's bleeding is already seared into his mind. The bad man he just sent flying was about to give something to Kakashi by forcing it through his mouth, and Satoshi doesn't need to know what it is exactly, he just knows he won't allow the man to do it through no matter what.

"I'll kill you both. You filthy trash."

The cold words he utters contrasting harshly to the blood running his entire body hot. His subconscious, the experienced 29 year old jujutsu sorcerer within him, already does the assessment of the situation; the taller man wearing the long dark cloak with possibly many hidden compartments inside it, while the smaller man that's on top of Kakashi, whose one hand is still gripping Kakashi by the neck, and his twin brother,—

bleeding and hurting and scratched everywhere and bruising and has never looked smaller than he is now and—

whose eye speaks of so much relief; whose face lights up with so much hope—

with tears spilling over from his eyes— 

—looking back at him.

Satoshi's eye is locked onto his brother, so he notices it immediately when Kakashi grimaces in pain, as the man above him tightens his chokehold.

"Did you not hear me?" Satoshi positively glowers at the man, "Get your filthy hands off my brother." He can recognize real fear on the man's face, despite the lackluster effort to not show it.

The man gulps, before he barks with fake bravado, "Hah! Or what, you little shit? You're just a stupid helpless brat who's by yourself and can't do no shits! Haha! This might be a lucky day for me! Instead of handing over just one brat, the other brat comes along by himself, and I can get double the payment for this! Thanks a lot for that, squirt!"

Satoshi can tell it's nothing but a nervous bluff from a scared and cornered insignificant low life prey. He doesn't even need his Six Eyes to check the man's power level; he knows he can easily take the man out.

So without even bothering to respond with any more words, he simply holds up his right hand, palm up, seeing the man's head through the gap he makes between his pointer finger and thumb, and mumbling to himself under his breath, "About this much should be enough."

"What are you doing, huh, you brat?! Stop trying to act all tough and shits, I have your brother here in my hand! I can just kill him easily, then you can take his place instead!"

Satoshi doesn't listen to a word the man is saying. He's about to attempt pulling off another Limitless technique he has never tried here, in a state where his chakra has yet to even stabilize. He knows how incredibly risky it is, if not straight up dangerous and plain stupid.

"Or I could toy with him a bit, torture him here and there, before finishing him off right in front of you. What about that, huh?!"

But Satoshi couldn't care any less. The only command working his body and mind right now is 'kill, kill, kill, kill'.

He opens his Six Eyes, staring right through the gap between his fingers with laser intensity, straight into the man's head, his voice barely above whisper, uttering just a single word: "Blue."

"Don't mo—"

Then the man's head implodes within the next blink, his own sentence cut off by sudden death.

And Satoshi screams with so much pain in his core and in his head, sending him doubling over in absolute agony down to his knees.

Nobody in that moment could've predicted the implosion they were just witnessing, and the shock of the bloody scene itself renders the other two people completely speechless.

There are entrails of human gore scattered around them; patches of skin on the ground, brain parts up the trees, eyeballs and its nerves hanging off of a leaf and a jutting tree branch, smashed skull bones on top of the bushes and the stones and the dirt, and all kinds of unidentified human head parts all over their outerwears, their sandals, their hairs. There are splashes of fresh red blood painting the earth, and the smell is so pungent it's drowning every other scent. It looks more like the man had been brutally massacred in such a sadistic long-winded torture method instead of the quick, almost painless reality of having his head blasted off in a split second.

Kakashi gets the worse front row experience from the impact. Most of the blood splattered on top of him, covering and seeping through the coarse fabric of the sack he's in, and he can still feel the leftover warmth from it. The volume alone was like a shower, bathing his small body with nothing but red paint, and it even slips into the gapless knot of the rope tied around his hands and feet. About half of his face is now a gradation from bright crimson to dark brown-red, some of the sticky liquid dripping down into his open mouth and mixing with his own.

He witnessed the implosion only an arm's length away from him, and he couldn't help but follow with his eye when the headless body that is on top of him eventually falls away to the side, like it is nothing but a discarded broken doll.

The other man, who has one of his knees on the ground in a pose that tells he was about to stand back up after being kicked away earlier, didn't get to see the implosion directly, as the boy was standing between him and his partner, but when it happened, the loud sharp and wet sound followed by the drastic change in their surrounding area was enough to freeze him on the spot, and it was the exact moment he starts to question reality and his own sanity. He couldn't believe it, but the sight and the sound and the smell are all so undeniably real.

Had he not been a ninja, he would've gotten so sick and puke all over. But he's also a ninja who has never experienced nor has ever expected such thing unfolding right before his eyes; something so scarily powerful and brutal even by shinobi standard, done to someone he deeply cares about, by the hand of a mere 4 year old no less. Right in that moment, he is nothing more than a weak man instead of a well trained shinobi. His trembling eyes trail down onto the ground, to where the boy is folded over on himself while clutching onto his head, still howling viscerally.

It takes him a few seconds to realize, that the boy is not screaming out of bloodlust or sick satisfaction over his successful killing; the boy is screaming from pain.

His body moves before he can think it; he pulls out 3 of his specialized needles from within his cloak, and blindly charges at the boy on the ground, fully believing he's being at his most open, most vulnerable position right now.

But Kakashi sees him charging at his brother from where he's at, barely gathering himself after the shock of the scene, and he yells out, "Toshi! Behind you!"

Somehow, someway, Kakashi's voice slices through Satoshi's own shrieking, and that's enough to give the boy time to realize that the man is coming his way, and so he braces himself for the impact. He doesn't have enough space to roll away, but he dodges the hand that holds the needles aimed at his neck by slapping and grabbing the wrist. The reposition sends him backward, and now he's laying face up with the tall man on top of him, who is currently seething, baring his teeth at the boy.

"What the hell did you do to my brother! How—!"

"Urgh, get off me, you bast—! Argh!!" Satoshi groans, feeling another wave after wave of so much pain within every crevice in his skull. The blowback from the over usage of his yin energy is screwing with his chakra massively, and it feels way much worse of a pain than the one he felt 2 years prior when he first accessed the Six Eyes. He was ready for the consequence, has intended to conquer whatever was coming his way, but the pain is still overpowering him.

(The fact that he manages to stay conscious and still fight his way through, is a feat in and of itself, something that he unfortunately cannot be bothered with right now, as the pain is all he can feel, rattling his skull and stabbing deep into his core.)

"I'll kill you! I'll kill you!" The man above him hysterically shouts.

Satoshi doesn't know the source of his strength in that moment, but it feels like he's uncovering it from a place locked deep within him. It is like his 29 year old self is taking over his body and holding it up for him. He tries to remember what makes him go this far, feeling this feral, his spirit not backing down despite all the odds and impossibilities and so much pain—

pain hurt hurt pain dying terrible pain headache pain blood blood blood hurt more ache kill kill kill KILL—

—but there's a loud ringing in his ears that's messing up with his brain and he finds that even trying to think about anything gives his head another jolt of unspeakable ache. He grits his teeth so hard that he's tasting blood in his mouth.

"I'll kill you, you freak shit!" The man continues to scream to his face.

But the man's yelling is neither here nor there for Satoshi, whose mind is completely battling other louder voices ringing all at once inside his own head.

What is it—what am I doing—Why am I even here—Argh!—I don't know—who the hell is this crazy man—I'm so angry—I need to—Get off me!—where's Kashi—where's Tou-san—where's everyone!—it hurts so much!—why it hurts it hurts it hurts—where's Tou-san going—is Kashi going too—I wanna go—IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS—STOP THE PAIN IT HURTS IT HURTS—please stop already—why is it HURTING HURTING SO MUCH—AARRGHHH—I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!!

His grip that holds the man there slackens in that very moment.

The man pulls his arm back and curls his fingers into a fist and—

—is shoved aside by the body of another child.

Satoshi blinks hard, trying to will away the sudden blurriness from his eyesight, unknowing that his left eye is being invaded by sticky fresh blood. He vaguely registers the small body that is taking a stance between him and the large stranger man. Who's this kid?

"Toshi—kkuh, are you—haa, okay?"

The question coming from that voice—it's Kashi's voice!—sobers him up immediately. His rational thought quickly returns to him, and he finally remembers where they are. He even finds his voice again, "Kashi? Kashi, you're alright?" He scrambles to sit up, reaching up to touch Kakashi, desperate to see if he's real or some sort of illusion.

"Hah... Hah... Clearly we're both not. Hah..." Kakashi heaves every inhale and exhale with difficulty. There's even trembling in his voice, his shoulders all the way down to the tips of his fingers still shaking. He barely got himself out of the tied rope and the sack; had he moved just a second later and the man would've gotten to his brother first.

"Kashi! You're bleeding!" Satoshi yells in panic. "Why are you bleeding so much?!"

"You—"

Kakashi's answer is swallowed by the man before them suddenly screaming a blood curdling scream. "Arkghh!!!! Go to fucking hell!"

Just when the man is about to send a nasty slash right through Kakashi's unprotected face, Satoshi grabs his twin from behind and pulls him back while throwing his own body to the front as a wall of protection, his right eye—his Six Eyes—unconsciously opens and without missing a heartbeat he situates his head on the trajectory of the needles, not wanting it to touch Kakashi even by a hair.

Splat!

"T-toshi...?" Kakashi gasps out, sounding like he's losing air to breath in.

"Wha-what?" The man stammers in total disbelief, his voice shaking just as bad as his hand is.

"Who exactly is going to hell, you fucktard," Satoshi grumbles lowly.

At this point, Satoshi's entire body from head to toe is already undergoing incomprehensible amount of pressure, from running nonstop for who knows how long, to forcing his Six Eyes to pull off several Limitless techniques beyond his current capacity, not to mention the mental strain that stretched him to the point of snapping.

So much pain, and so much rage, that the fire from both sources have now blurred and blended into one: the one solid determination to protect Kakashi from the absolute loser who is hurting him and has dared to try to take him away. With that one sole objective on his mind, he abandons his own safety, to trade his entire being into becoming a shield.

The man before him trembles even more, taking a step back with very much difficulty. When he's about to pull back his hand and let go of the needles, Satoshi stops him by gripping into the man's wrist.

"Hell, you said? I think I've been through hell before. Have you been there yourself?" Satoshi asks the man with a low flat tone in his voice, pulling the hand and also the needles even closer to himself. There's a squelching sound dully echoing inside his skull. "How about I send you there? You can get special hot seat with my personal referral," he casually says, as if his blood is not literally pouring down rapidly from his eye, creating a fresh pool of red by his feet.

The man doesn't say anything in return, couldn't even breath out without fearing that he just makes too loud of a sound, as the most primal kind of horror has struck him down to his bones and soul, as he learns that he has never known the fear of death until that very moment.

Satoshi smirks, looking like an incarnation of a devil himself. Feeling emboldened by the absolute terror on the man's face, he pushes the hand holding the needles just a tad bit deeper in, closer in, digging it harder, then he gives it a slight twist to make sure the eyeball unscrew itself from its socket.

Crack!

He sneers, very eerily out of place to be in a child's face—if not for the overflowing river of blood already running down his cheek. "Go on," he says, "Run. See if you can get away from me." His unchanging flat voice and scarily calm delivery might be the worst out of everything else. There's not a blip of doubt or a hint of a fake front in it. It's an attack in itself right into the man's psyche.

Satoshi then lets loose his hold from the man's wrist, and the man immediately shunshin himself away.

Now the needles hover before Satoshi's face without its owner, so he grabs hold of it, and pulls it out with considerable force without a shred of hesitation,—

Pop! Splash!

—where at the other end of the needles, is his left eyeball.

Blood pours out like a steady waterfall with less things blocking its path, his left eye all but hollow.

"Toshi..." Kakashi calls from beside him with a weak whisper.

"Yes, Kashi. Don't worry," he responds with higher pitch voice, "I'll take the bad guy out. Just wait a second," he lightly says, the tone in his voice in total contrast to how he just talked to the man.

Kakashi cannot care less about the man who just fled. "Toshi, your eye...!"

Right at that moment, Satoshi's Six Eyes glimpses it; the man's long dark cloak quite the distance away. As soon as he locks the man's position within his sight, he simultaneously picks a random point in the other side of his field of vision.

Just like that, he releases Blue for the second time that day.

"Off you go, to the depths of hell."

Boom! Crash! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crash!

A whole area of the forest before him crashes in, in a convergence of two ends connected by a point of singularity, with a booming sound that shakes the air all the way back to the village's gate, alerting its guards.

It destroys everything that is within its path, obliterating the structure down to dust and debris, leaving them almost unrecognizable from tree bark to human skin, or leaf's vein or a man's last tears.

Satoshi passes out right then and there, and Kakashi barely catches him. He can't hear Kakashi's desperate wailing after that, calling for his name and pleading him to—

—please stay with me! Stay! Toshi! Don't you die on me!

He doesn't know that Kakashi has to run to get him into the village, carrying him up in his equally small but determined back; that Kakashi is close to passing out himself several times along the way, bogged down by all the extra weight of blood on him, but seeing his twin that day gives him somewhat extra push to keep on going in total disregard to his own fatigue and injuries; that Kakashi is practically begging the 4 shinobi he meets halfway to the gate, who have been on their way to investigate the loud crashing sound coming from the forest, to treat his brother and to—

save him please keep him alive please please please please—

—save his life, all the while letting out waterfalls of tears that he can no longer tell apart from all the sweat and the blood,—

my blood the man's blood Toshi's blood, blood tears more blood more tears blood so much blood red red everything's red blood Toshi's bleeding please stop bleeding please please don't die please please please PLEASE—

—before he promptly, finally, passes out himself.

Satoshi doesn't know, yet, that in that day, several shinobi will be inspecting the area where the forest has been overturned upside down and inside out, bringing back with them a bizzare collection of evidence: a very bloody discarded coarse sack from even more bloody scene, 3 pieces of specialized type of ninja needles with an eye still stuck on one of its ends, one headless corpse, and a hint of a former man cloaked in dark red pieces of unrecognizable clothing.

And they're all wondering amongst themselves what kind of monster could've done all that brutal destruction and absolute decimation, with the bigger hanging question of what could've possibly triggered its anger, and how one made itself a target for the monster's claws.

None of them would've thought even remotely of the possibility of it all being done by the hand of a 29 year old soul residing within the unassuming body of 4 year old, finding what he wants to protect the most.

Chapter Text

It takes 3 days for Kakashi to regain consciousness and 6 subsequent days to fully recovered from all of his physical injuries, but it takes 15 days for Satoshi to even wake up. The entire time Kakashi's awake during the remainder of the 2 weeks, he insists to sit by Satoshi's hospital bed, refusing to leave for anything. The shinobi investigator had to do their interview in the room because the boy doesn't wanna let his brother out of his sight. But other than answering the inquiries, Kakashi doesn't speak much else. He doesn't even want to go do his regular training anymore, and his kanji study is the last thing on his mind; he could not care less for anything other than staying by his brother's side.

While waiting in his solitude, Kakashi does a lot of thinking, question after question built up in his head without any conclusive answers. He wants to know how Satoshi was doing the things that he did during the attempted kidnapping incident; it was... a brutal sight, to put it grossly plain and simple. His own brother, a fellow 4 year old, killed 2 grown men who must have been shinobi, in a cold blood manner. He knows at least that Satoshi must have been utilizing his dojutsu eye to pull it off, but he doesn't know how, cannot even begin to guess what exactly it was that he did to make a man's head imploded and a patch of the forest area practically undergoing demolition within the span of a second.

Other than the eyes' mechanism in relation to their chakra and its releases in the form of applying infinity barrier within a finite space (a technique Satoshi aptly and simply named "Infinity", which made Kakashi snorted the first time he heard it), Satoshi has not told him anything else. Whatever Satoshi did back then, it was far different than just applying infinite space as an invisible body armor. Kakashi has used it to defend himself during the struggle, with much difficulty no less, but that was all it could do: it's a technique for defense.

That attack that did the 2 men in was the most straightforward offensive killing move that he can imagine he'll ever see. And to think that his older twin brother did it; not only that he pulled it off in a scarily precise manner, it gave off the impresssion that he didn't just come up with that technique randomly or suddenly that day. There was a level of confidence in the way that Satoshi was moving that made it look like he had planned the technique beforehand and known all along that it would work as he has intended.

And that concerns Kakashi. But not in the way that other people normally would; whereas others would find Satoshi's killing technique terrifying, Kakashi's concern lies in the fact that Satoshi had been keeping it—a highly dangerous and deadly technique that must have drained so much of his chakra to the point of sending himself to another comatose—a secret from him, on purpose. That's what bothers him the most. He understands why, though; there's absolutely no way for Kakashi to approve of its usage had Satoshi told him about it.

But he doesn't like it, couldn't take it. He wishes that Satoshi could just tell him everything that he has in mind, whether they would agree or not on the matter, but at the very least Kakashi would have known everything that is to know about his brother, he can anticipate what's coming and somewhat prepare himself on what to do when Satoshi does things his own way; that is to say he wishes he knows how to cushion his twin if he were to fall.

And right here right now, just the same as back then in the forest, Kakashi feels very much helpless and useless.

Satoshi came to save him, all by himself (Why didn't he just report to a shinobi, anyone would do, any passersby ninja or even the guards at the gate. Why did he recklessly go on his own like he didn't know how dangerous that was? Ahotoshi.) Even the fact that he managed to pursue his kidnappers was a mystery. Kakashi knows that Satoshi doesn't have a nin-dog; none of them has a contract for a summon yet, so the method for his tracking is yet another question without a clue, much less an answer.

Aside from Satoshi, there is also the question regarding the kidnapping itself. Questions such as: who were those kidnappers and their commisioner, why were they targeting him specifically, where were they taking him to, and what was their reasons to pull a kidnapping at all in a time where there are unrest everywhere with the war. Kakashi tried to bring up these questions to the shinobi who is in charge of their case's investigation on the man's second visit, but the man basically told him not to worry about it; in other words, he couldn't tell the 4 year old orphan their real findings. Kakashi doesn't push it after that.

There is also the worry for Satoshi's overall well-being after the whole incident. The medic nin told him that the comatose state is normal and typical after what the boy did; it's basically a case of chakra exhaustion. Luckily, the diagnosis showed that there will be no permanent damage, other than prolonged state of unconsciousness for a while, and all they need to do is just wait for his body to recuperate naturally on its own time. If the boy doesn't wake up within the estimated period, only then they will do further examination.

Kakashi wishes he doesn't have to wake up so fast from his own coma. He would have felt better if he could just wake up the same moment Satoshi does. That way, he doesn't have to have so much time on his own presence, in his own head, with endless rumination of what has happened to them.

But the even scarier thought that occupies his mind, is what could have happened to them, had the kidnapping been a success. Kakashi would be somewhere else, away and far from home, with a stranger's mercy holding his lifeline, alone and weak and undoubtedly scared to save himself; he would still try, but he doubts his best could get him back home.

But even worse than even his own predicament, he would still feel the most worried out of his mind for Satoshi who would be left behind in the village. Getting taken away, even though it is not by his own volition nor it is his fault, would still mean that he would be breaking his promise to Satoshi to never leave his side. And he doesn't want to imagine how Satoshi would be after that, with Kakashi not being there anymore.

Despite being the older brother, Satoshi is always the one being cared for the most in their house. From the smallest simplest matter, like basic things to take care for himself, such as reminding him of the time to wake up, time for meals, do their practices, to wash up properly (Satoshi has this intense hyperfocus with their trainings that he has so little care for how much dirts and grimes and dust sticking to him, and every time they're bathing, he washes his own body like it's nothing but a chore that he wants to get over with as quickly as possible, so Kakashi often has to take over the scrubbing and washing for him too); to serious decision making such as his personal dojutsu eye training regiment.

It's not that Kakashi questions Satoshi's autonomy or his ability to stand on his own; he knows Satoshi is very capable of doing things not only decently, but even impeccably well. The fact that Satoshi figured out how to use his dojutsu eye despite doing it by himself, without support or guidance or even the knowledge of what the eye could do to begin with, then proceed to basically create a new jutsu technique from scratch, before he even enters the ninja academy to boot, is most definitely already a legendary achievement that no one has ever done in the history of shinobi world (Well, I don't know for sure, because I have not gotten any history lesson to name all the legends out there, but I think I don't need to know all history to acknowledge that Satoshi is pretty damn amazing already. Not that I will ever tell him that, of course.)

What's worrying Kakashi is all the space in between and what lays beyond that.

Left to his own, Satoshi would probably pour his entire time and focus and energy into training himself ragged, not knowing when to take a break, when to eat his meals, when to stop and rest. It would be like a beast hungry for a scramble of a single target, his only goal in sight is to be stronger no matter what it takes.

Kakashi has no doubt that Satoshi can be a strong shinobi, so much stronger than even he could imagine it now. But he's seen it in his brother's eyes, the strive and ambition that knows no bound, no care for his own limit. Kakashi knows Satoshi is strong, with even stronger will. To Kakashi, it's nothing but stubbornness and recklessness (which Kakashi thinks just make his nickname 'Ahotoshi' ever present and true), but to Satoshi, it's everything that makes him him; it's what makes Hatake Satoshi. He only knows that he can be strong and stronger still, and the only thing that could stop him would be a self inflicted comatose and death.

Kakashi fears that without him around to take care of the little things and to be the decision maker for the big things, Satoshi would actually send himself to an early grave within a week. And that's about the last thing that Kakashi wants in this world.

He does his best, of course, and so far he thinks he did pretty well in reining his twin's thirst for the excessive. But the kidnapping incident really shakes him back into reality, and he learns 2 hard truths from it. One, that there's still, and always, gonna be things that are out of his control and foresight, no matter how much diligence he puts into staying vigilance and be on guard all the time. Two, that Satoshi is his own person, despite them being a pair of twins that are close and spending their entire time together; he can't always control or change Satoshi's decisions, his thoughts and whatever his stances on certain things.

Seems like completely redundant realizations in retrospective, but the kidnapping incident really drives the nails home to his head now. It's a bit scary to dwell on that thought. Sure, he cares so much for Satoshi's well being and overall safety, but does Satoshi care about his own at all? Doesn't look so.

And Kakashi fears it, if it ever will come a day when he can't look out for Satoshi anymore, for whatever reason, and his brother will ultimately destroy himself. He shudders. I have to be stronger myself, so I can keep him safe, so I can keep myself safe, so he doesn't have to make it his own burden to save us both everytime dangers happen. I'll make sure so he doesn't get himself hurt for me ever again.

.

.

.

When Satoshi comes around, he wakes up slowly like he usually does on any regular morning. His consciousness returns to his awareness first, then his body starts moving here and there before he inevitably begins stretching his body, letting out a noise like he has had a good night sleep. Only after he feels relaxed, he opens his eye—or tries to, but he sees only nothing.

Huh?

He tries to blink his eye, only to feel the weird sensation that he somehow unable to even move his eyelid open.

Is something covering my left eye as well?

He brings up his hand to feel his face, to discover there's a bandage going around his head, covering both of his eyes. But he also finds something else—or rather, the lack of something. With his hand feeling around his left eye area, he finally realizes that there's no more curving protrusion where his eyeball should be. And that is when he remembers.

Right. I took the eye out.

Satoshi doesn't regret it.

It was his choice to give it away in that very moment, not because it happened that way by pure accident; it was definitely avoidable and very much preventable—just a short moment of activating Infinity would do. But in that split moment of seeing the man charging to their way to harm Kakashi who was standing in front of him, Satoshi made up his mind: to let go of all notion of lukewarm and mediocrity. He wanted to set up a new standard for his bare minimum, and it should be no less than excellence. He has no more space to spare for complacency—therefore the eye that held him back in progressing with his Six Eyes had to go for good. That way, his body and mind have no choice but to keep up and bend to his will.

He had lived with the blessing of Six Eyes and the greatest Limitless technique for a whole lifetime before after all, and he had more than proved his worth by gaining the title of The Strongest Sorcerer of the era; he's confident he can do it again. So might as well just get rid of all deterrents. The Six Eyes alone will be all he needs; he'll personally make sure that things will work out accordingly.

So he takes the lost of his other eye the exact opposite of how everyone else would do in his shoes or even expect as a spectator.

After that very calm assessment of his condition, he tries to get a feel of his surrounding without his sight. The smell alone is enough to give it away; he's definitely on a hospital room. Judging by how unnaturally quiet it is, he assumes he must be at the one for shinobi care, and if he can't even glimpse a sound from beyond the window, it must be closed at the moment, so it's enough indication for him that it must be nighttime.

He's also not alone. Kashi's here. He knows his brother's distinct scent—like fresh grass after a stormy night at the tail end of the summer. But the slow, almost inaudible puffs of breaths tell his that Kakashi is currently sleeping just a few steps away from the hospital bed.

The sound places him slightly lower than this bed, so he's sleeping on the sofa. If he's not on a hospital bed himself, then he must be all good now, he easily makes the deduction.

Something fills him with great relief. He catches himself, feeling a bit weirded out yet again, not quite fully accustomed to having this much affection and attachment so dependant on someone else beside himself.

It's dangerous, all these intense feelings. But. He can't quite formulate his feelings and thoughts about it into words, but he comes to like it. He feels free from a constraint that he never knew has been chaining him the entire time of his first life. He doesn't think he's capable of feeling this way, if not for Kakashi being his own twin soul.

He smiles a little. Damn, and all those times I was complaining for having a brother like him, a stickler for rules and a fussy little one, sometimes annoying, quick-witted and too smart for his own good. But somehow, now all of those qualities just feel like what make him Kashi. I don't want to trade him for anything else.

He estimates Kakashi's location, on his right by a meter about half the height of the bed, with his body lying down parallel to him. Satoshi gets up to sit on the bed (Dear sage, my body feels so weak! It's like I haven't eaten in forever!), grabs the pillow and throws it to where he thinks Kakashi's head must be.

"Kashi! Wake up!" He calls out loudly. He pays no mind to the noise level, he knows rooms on hospital for shinobi care are specifically soundproofed anyway.

The pillow hits Kakashi right on his head, and he scrambles to sudden wakeness with a surprised gasp. "Wha—ugh, what the? Toshi?" Kakashi grumbles, his voice still thick with sticky drowsiness. "The hell? Did you just throw pillow at me?"

Satoshi snickers. "Kashi just say a curse word again! Bad Kashi~"

Kakashi huffs. "Are you serious? You can just wake me up like any other normal person, you know?"

"But it's faster this way, right? You wake up immediately and it makes you curse! So it's worth it," Satoshi snickers again.

Kakashi sighs, giving up the argument. "Anyway, how are you feeling? Should I call a medic?"

"Hm, I'm fine, I think. Other than feeling kind of weak, that is. I did miss lunch and dinner."

Kakashi is quiet. Satoshi asks, "Kashi? Why aren't you saying anything?"

Kakashi sighs again, heavier this time. "I should call someone after all. We need to check your head now that you're awake."

"What do you mean check my head? I feel super fine, just give me some food and I'll be up and running again!"

"Toshi," Kakashi says, sounding like he's reluctant to say it. "You've been in a coma for 15 days."

.

.

.

Kakashi goes to call a medic after that, and when he returns, he brings someone with him.

"How are you feeling, kid? Any abnormalities, or discomfort or pain anywhere at all?"

"Hm, no. Just really hungry," Satoshi simply answers. He perks his ears, something about the medic's voice sounds familiar somewhat, but he can't place it.

"Alright. I'm gonna go check your vitals anyway, so just stay still and relax, okay? Just tell me if anything feels different at all."

So the medic nin moves their hands around his body, checking his heartbeats, temperature, blood pressure, and his reflexes, moving his head and limbs to see if there's any lingering pain or if he's unknowingly fried his nerves at all. But the results all showing normal condition. Except for one glaring difference.

"Aren't you gonna check my eyes? Don't you usually do that, like shine a flashlight on my pupil and stuff?" Satoshi asks.

He hears the medic nin clicks their tongue. "Cheeky, aren't you? What is this, testing my credentials or are you just being a brat?"

"What are you saying, sensei? I'm just a four year old, I'm curious about my eyes' condition, but you haven't checked it. So I was just asking, that's all," Satoshi explains lightly, playing his innocence card.

The medic nin sighs. They sound like they're exasperated, as if they can see through Satoshi somehow.

"Say, sensei. Have we met before? You sound familiar, but I don't know."

"Well, yes, when you're much younger. I'm impressed you can remember just by my voice. But then again, little Kakashi here also remembers me immediately. You two have strong memory, I see."

"Oh, what's your name again, sensei?"

"Kakashi-kun, do you remember my name too by chance?"

Kakashi hums a little, then says, "I think it's Otsura-sensei, was it?"

Satoshi notes during this that Kakashi's voice sounds slightly different somehow, like he's having something in his mouth. He doesn't get the right chance to ask, as the medic nin makes a sound of approval.

"That is my name, indeed. I'm pleasantly surprised you still retain that information from when you were so young."

"Oh, oh, alright then, Otsura-sensei. Will you check my eyes? There's something I wanna see myself while you're here," Satoshi urges.

"Why are you excited about this? Didn't you remember what happened that sent you to the hospital? Kakashi told you, didn't he? That you've been in a coma for over 2 weeks for extreme chakra exhaustion?" Otsura voices curiously. There's no suspicion in their voice, just simple intrigue.

"He told me, and I do remember what happened, I just wasn't aware I've been sleeping for that long. Say, sensei—,"

"Sleeping?" Kakashi repeats in disbelief, but Satoshi ignores him.

"—you must be curious about my eye too, no? You can give it a look, as much as you want, as long as you tell me everything. I give you permission for it."

If he wants to master Six Eyes quickly, he needs to know as much information about its condition in this world, and as soon as the medic nin reveals themself to be the same one who has examined their eyes some time ago, Satoshi figures he can use the preexisting bridge to somewhat help him reach his objective. "Besides, you can tell Kashi to relax a little. He's too tense sometimes when it comes to these eyes."

Kakashi makes a low grumbling sound of complaint. "There's nothing wrong about being careful about it."

Otsura comments, "Well, you ought to thank your brother, then. It's always better to be cautious," —Satoshi can somehow imagine the smile on Kakashi's face in that moment— "but, I can't deny that I'm intrigued with your conditions. It's a rare medical marvel to have a plausible new kekkei genkai develops before my very eyes, especially even rarer because it's a dojutsu. Now, if you really want to know more about it, it's definitely better with a professional overlooking your condition, rather than doing it recklessly on your own. Let me guess, you've been dabbling with your eyes' ability even behind your father's back, am I right?"

The mention of their father stings a bit. He has regretted it, and he still wonders sometimes, if his secret training has been part of the reasons his father made the decision to leave. Kakashi convinced him that it's not the reason, but it can still be a reason.

The silence seems like enough answer in itself for Otsura. So they say, "Listen kids, I'm not blaming you for it, and knowing Sakumo, I'm sure he also isn't. But truth of the matter is, doing it without adult supervision is reckless. I'm actually surprised I've never seen you in the hospital between then and now, and it's definitely thanks to your brother looking out for you. As you can see from this incident, it ended up knocking you for half a month, and I consider that incredibly lucky. You didn't know for sure that you could come out of it alive after doing all that with your eye, did you?"

Satoshi pouts. "But it doesn't matter anymore, no? I'm here now and I'm perfectly fine—"

"Perfectly, you said?" Kakashi cuts him off, there's shimmering anger in his voice.

"Okay, not perfectly, I guess—"

"You guess?"

"—but it's not a big deal. I get it, everyone agrees that I'm reckless, but I saved Kashi by being reckless. You can't blame me for something that I will never regret doing. Well, I guess you can, but I just won't hear you. I did that and I will do it again," Satoshi retorts. I'm so tired of being a kid, dammit. Everyone looks down on me so much.

Otsura sighs, while Kakashi doesn't say anything. Satoshi has an image on his mind of his twin sending him a sharp glare, for some reason.

"Just so you know, Kakashi has a look of strong disapproval right now, Satoshi-kun."

"Kashi always disapproves everything I do, but he can't stop me. I am my own person."

There's definitely some movement in front of him, but it stops at the same time Otsura speaks, "Now, now, Kakashi-kun, easy there. No need to get yourself worked up over it."

Satoshi pouts even more. Oh, he's gonna fight me on that? Seriously. He knows I'm right. But he doesn't say anything.

"Kakashi-kun, go out for a bit and get some fresh air. You've been holing yourself up in this room the entire time, it must have felt stuffy for you. Meanwhile I'll do some more check-ups with your brother. Get yourself some proper food while at it. Alright?" Otsura tells Kakashi with a gentle voice.

A second of hesitation, before Kakashi replies, "Alright. I'll do that, Otsura-sensei. I'll leave Satoshi in your care, then." And then he leaves the room.

"Now," Otsura speaks up again, "how should I do this. Should I start with, hm, let's see. I'll just ask you right away. Hatake Satoshi-kun, this is not your first life, is it?"

Chapter Text

"Hatake Satoshi-kun, this is not your first life, is it?"

"What the hell. You too?" Satoshi remarks out loud.

"From the smooth and readily usage of curse word alone, you really don't sound like a child you're supposed to be. To answer your question, yes. That's so much easier and faster a confirmation for a hypothesis I've held in for two whole years," Otsura says with a flat voice. They drag a chair from near the wall closer to the bed and make themself comfortable on it.

Satoshi's interest spikes up. "Wow, I never thought there's gonna be anyone else beside me. Is this thing more common than I thought?"

Otsura hums. "Not as far as I know. I myself have never encountered another possible case beside you with my long years of doing social works here. But who knows, I may just not see it because everyone else is lowkey about it. Your case is definitely an exception, one that I coincidentally observed personally when you went through it two years ago. A big part of it was because it was very similar to my own experience, so I did rely a lot on my own projection," they explain.

"Oh, so you regained your memory the same way, huh? The chakra activation and the fainting and all?"

"Yeah, though in my case it happened when I was around five years old. I was born an orphan and grew up in the orphanage, but since this is a hidden ninja village, even the non-clan civilians have to at least check if they meet the requirements to be a shinobi. Konoha's less lenient about it back in my day, where people didn't have the option to not enter the ninja academy when they meet the criteria. But even if that wasn't the case, I thought I still would go anyway, partly because there's not much better option for an orphan without a clan backing, but partly because—," they pause, "—the memory," they simply say.

Satoshi makes a sound of curiousity. "What was your life like, before?"

"You sure you want to know?"

"Why not? It's a rare chance! Ah, but no need to tell like everything everything, that's gonna be too long and boring, just make it short and concise. I'll tell you if I'm bored," Satoshi says.

Otsura chuckles, muttering to themself, "Brat." They continue, "Well, it won't be a long story, anyway. I died pretty young back then, before I even hit puberty. We might be from the same world, and if so, I most definitely preceded you. I was born among the first generation of newly mutated human race. The woman who gave birth to the first among its kind named the mutation 'a quirk'. Does it sound familiar to you?"

"Nope. Never heard of that."

"I see, not the same world, then. Fascinating. Anyway, I was born with it, one that was unfortunately far from a perfect mutation. The quirk allows me to heal others with any internal wounds that were under the skin, but my own body had always been weak and constantly in pain. It was debilitating, but because it was the invisible kind, on top of having a healing quirk, people didn't believe me. My outer appearance didn't show it, just that I was somewhat smaller and skinnier, but they blamed my gene and low appetite for that. It felt more like a curse than a superpower. And it never got better.

"The government found my quirk 'very useful', as they were scrambling to gather the 'weirdos' under a state funded organization to take rein of the new normal before it could fall into uncontrollable society. Until the time I died, they were considering several titles to use for the new division of civil servants, like 'champion', 'star', 'knight', 'guardian', 'hero'. I was recruited—well, more like forcefully taken in, my poor parents basically threatened, using my safety as a bargaining chip. And they used me, used my quirk, as often as they wanted. I was basically squeezed and dried out to my death.

"Although, it's hard to say for sure, back then and even now, but I believe I did hit a milestone of quirk progression shortly before my end, where I thought I could finally heal my own internal body, but the speed in which I healed myself got outpaced by the output of energy I put into healing others. So the God of Death claimed me first. I was barely twelve. That's about it, really. That wasn't so boring, I hope?"

Satoshi quips, "Good for you, that sounds like an interesting world you lived in, so I wasn't bored. So, you also passed out for a week then?"

"No, in my case, it was barely three days."

"What? That's not fair!"

"I did say I died fairly young. I can only assume you must have had longer lifespan before."

"I'll have you know I also died at the very youthful age of twenty nine."

"Seventeen years more than I had, that's more than double my entire lifetime. It checks out."

"Oh, well. Whatever, doesn't matter anymore," Satoshi dismisses the issue, before asking another question, "So, is that healing quirk of yours got carried over to this realm too, just like mine?"

"I suppose so. Unlike yours, my quirk was a skill that didn't come with a physical manifestation. Here, my healing ability translates into having substantially more robust yang energy within my chakra, with significant healing property in it, allowing me to pursue the discipline of medical ninjutsu like it comes naturally to me, even though I did have some trouble controlling it at first. I'm better at it than most now, in fact, but I try not to show it."

Satoshi tilts his head curiously, "Why?"

"I have enough of the government taking advantage of me. The only one better at medical jutsu that I reckon is Lady Tsunade, one of the three Sannin, and look where they send her, to the very front line. I'm not gonna die for a people I don't know, much less care about, with this second chance at life. This might be my last, after all."

"Yet here you are, still working for the village anyway."

"It pays good money here. And I happen to like studying chakra from medical approach. Doing chakra research privately is not a thing here, as doing so is basically illegal. Encountering your case has been my best finding so far. The fact that you also a reincarnated one like me is a happy coincidence, really."

Satoshi hums, taking in all the information to his head. He finds his next question, "When you said you're better than most, does that also mean your ability to see the difference of yin and yang energy within chakra?"

"Yes. It's very rare, unique ability to be able to see chakra components down to its two distinct attributes. Most shinobi on general, ones that can detect or perceive chakra anyway, only see chakra as it is, in its core and as it flows and when it manifests. That's why I can tell that your mutated eye is a new type of dojutsu pulling heavily on your yin energy.

"Let me guess, you want me to help solving your chakra problem, especially now that you chucked out your normal eye, correct?"

Satoshi grins. "I'm so glad you're quick on the uptake, Otsura-san."

For the first time since the start of their conversation, Otsura takes longer this time to respond. Satoshi wonders if he has to offer them something, like a payment of sort, knowing now that they don't seem like the type of person to do things freely. He thinks of his options, but before he can actually say anything, Otsura speaks.

"You know, I met Sakumo before he made himself a missing nin," they say suddenly.

The abrupt change of topic freezes Satoshi in his spot, his body goes rigid just by the mere mention of his father's name. He bits his lips, gritting his words, "What's that gotta do with our topic?" He's still sore about it, about how the village shuns his father with a flip of a switch. If Otsura is among those people who blame Sakumo, he will not even consider their help with his chakra, even if they're offering it for free.

"Normally, I wouldn't share this to a child, but since we established you're not one, I'm gonna tell you. After the village turns their back on him, Sakumo's not doing so well mentally. It was so bad that he had suicidal thoughts."

Satoshi grinds his teeth together. Of course he knows that Sakumo's mental health took a plunge after the return of his last mission; he's seen it before, and now he's seen through it again. Getting a confirmation that it was actually worse than even his initial assumption is not making him feel any better.

But for the most part, he just doesn't want to talk about his father's departure anymore. He and Kakashi already made a pact over the matter, and that's enough for him, for now anyway. He seethes, "What are you trying to say by telling me this? Are you gonna make fun of him too like all the other losers?"

Satoshi can't see Otsura with his eye still covered by the bandages, but they're silently observing his every move, every little change in his expression and the increase of tension in his muscle. They're aware of how the boy feels, how sensitive this issue is to him. Not wanting to make a misunderstanding, they explain, "Don't get me wrong, kid. I'm not trying to rile you up. I bring it up because I feel like I should tell you what Sakumo told me before he left. And mind you, the story of my past life should've been enough clue that I empathize with Sakumo's plight than the opinion of the village. So you can relax, boy."

Satoshi breathes in and out slowly once, just slightly feel somewhat calmer, but the tension can't quite leave his body completely. It's about his father, after all. "Fine. Alright. I'll hear you out, then. This better be worth it, or else."

In that moment, the investigation report on the aftermath of Kakashi's abduction incident flashes in Otsura's mind, and it very briefly sends a shiver down their spine. They calm themself quickly, before speaking again, "I met Sakumo at a bar one night by coincidence. It was in one of the lesser known bar, small and secluded and far from the night district. The bar owner is quite old, and deaf. It's probably why Sakumo went there specifically, the old man doesn't dabble in gossips, so it was probably one of very few places Sakumo can safely go to within this village. I like going there myself because it's quiet. I didn't expect to find Sakumo there, by himself, drinking to a stupor. A well-known, well respected ninja like him, looking so vulnerable that night. Perhaps because I empathize with him, or maybe I just feel sorry for him, I went ahead and asked if he wanted a drinking buddy.

"To be honest with you, I didn't really care whether he accepted or rejected my company, and I also wasn't about to play a therapist with him. The man was just drunk, and he started to pour out his mind on me, and I did nothing but listen. So he told me that night, how he was haunted heavily by his mistakes, and how it made him realize how weak he actually was. He told me how he felt like he couldn't handle its weight, the village's scorn and his colleagues' accusation.

"But most heavy of all, was his own teammates turning their backs on him, the very same people he chose to prioritize above the very mission that he ultimately failed. He said it made him question everything, question his decisions, question his worth. He convinced himself, or tried to at least, that he didn't regret his choice, and I believe him. Sakumo looks like the type of guy who values lives over some mission. But if everybody else beside yourself is telling you you're wrong, including the very people you always trust and respect and care for your entire life, it would still get to you eventually. And it didn't take long for Sakumo's wall to crumble. I could see it, how miserable it made Sakumo feel.

"At one point, he brought up Tera, your mother, how he wondered if it's time to see her again. That's how I know the man had suicidal thoughts growing, whether or not he even realized it himself. But I know there's a difference between thinking it and actually attempting it. If he hasn't done it, there's gotta be something that's holding him here. So I asked him. Do you know what his answer was?"

Satoshi doesn't answer, cannot bring himself to answer without giving away his emotions out into the open. Admission of feelings still feels like admission of weakness.

Otsura takes it as a cue to say it. "He said even with everything he's ever believed in getting turned upside down, despite how lost and lonely he felt after everything, despite how incredibly weak and pathetic he felt, there's still one thing that he knew remaining true and unchanging. And that was his blessings and pride, his sons. Sakumo said he couldn't commit to kill himself, because his—word for word—two adorable, bright, talented, charming twin sons deserve a father who is not a coward. He told me how his sons gave him the courage to carry on, to keep on trying, to get better, regardless of whatever people say about him. He wanted to try again, just for the two who still believed in him unconditionally. That was his decision.

"He didn't tell me what his plan was, so I didn't know he was gonna up and leave Konoha, but I think I understand his intention. He probably sees him staying here as a hindrance, to your growth most importantly, but also to his own healing. What the village did to him was nothing short of a betrayal to his person, and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to call it an insult to his sense of loyalty and years long of service, and there's nothing good waiting for him but penalty and more scornful look and jeering. It helps nobody if he were to insist to stay here. With him out of the village, at the very least, more paths are open for him. The status as a missing-nin is a price he seems willing to pay."

Satoshi is quiet, even as Otsura stops talking. There's no space for anything in the silence, but tension. But Otsura remains calm all throughout. They let the boy take their words in, mull over it in a way that he needs, and all they need to offer is time and safe space; just like they did with Sakumo.

It takes Satoshi awhile to finally give a reaction; when he did, he straightens his body while breathing in then slowly releases the air out. Then he says, "Can I tell you about my first life, Otsura-san?"

Otsura blinks in a newfound interest. "Sure, tell me about it."

Satoshi takes a very brief moment to thank the bandages covering his eye right now, because it feels like it helps him to say the story he's about to tell. The one that not even Sakumo and Kakashi are privy to.

"In my previous life, the realm's base is called cursed energy. The source is human's collective negative emotions. For example, the people's mounting stress in a densely populated area will eventually form cursed spirits that will roam the town, haunting it and making mischief, growing only stronger with time. People who can see and wield cursed energy are called jujutsu sorcerers. So cursed energy is like chakra here, and sorcerers are the ninja there. And as it's true here, it's true there as well, that clans are kind of a big deal.

"I was born in one of the great clans there, and I was honored with this eye, Six Eyes as they called it. And even though I enjoyed my time being revered for having the power that put fear and envy amongst all, there was always something in me that didn't feel quite right, didn't feel quite... human.

"I was brought up with all the knowledge of what it meant to live in such a world, where I was destined to be stronger than most, if not the strongest, from the moment I knew how to walk and talk. So the base of the world was the first thing that was ingrained so strongly within me; the fact that negative emotions fuel negative energy and can manifest into cursed spirits. I didn't have the time or space during the entirety of my first life to question things—I mean, it was just the way the world worked there. It was as natural as the sky is blue and blood is red. So I just did what I thought was logically the best for me, and it was to simply never have negative emotions.

"It sounded so easy, and easy it was for so many years, that I led such a carefree and relaxed life. I was an heir of a great clan too, so you know I was spoiled rotten. I was never greatly bothered by anything, even the serious matters that most adults took super seriously, like the clan politics or succession issue or whatever. The most I would feel would be mild annoyance, but with little effort it would get replaced by the calm rational assessment of what I could and could not do about it, and I always pulled through things so easily that I trusted myself to handle whatever came my way. It was so, so painfully, incredibly easy.

"So with heaven's blessings on my eyes, intellect with my head, immense wealth in my pocket, and virtually no weakness of the heart, you probably can imagine how it shaped me as a person. But if there was one thing, one thing only, that I silently, deep down yearn for, was someone to see me as just me, as Satoru, not the bearer of Six Eyes, not the heir to the Gojo clan, not the strongest sorcerer of the generation. I could not imagine it myself of course, me without any or all of that. Six Eyes and the Gojo surname is inseparable from me; it was not an outfit I could take off, it was my skin. But I know, something in me must have longed for it, for someone to find me and see me, actually see me, and still choose me.

"Of course, it was always a fleeting thought. I could not allow such want to fester and take roots, lest it turn to something ugly. That was how I lived my life in before, and it never changed until the day I died."

Satoshi takes a moment to pause, suddenly unsure if he actually wants to continue with his story. If his previous life had been like an impenetrable stronghold from start to finish, in this life, as soon as he realized that no cursed spirits or anything alike would be born from human's emotions, he has allowed himself to open the gate, to go out and take in as the winds would carry him. It was freeing, and he was content, if not excited about the prospect of exploring.

Even the moments that were less kind, more painful than he could've ever predicted, moments of helplessness and weakness, when he was struck by brand new limitations that he had never encountered before, he was nothing but willing to embrace it.

But there's a difference between feeling it all, and admitting it out loud. It will feel like by admitting it, not only the gate can no longer be closed, but the walls that protect his heart will also fall apart; he will be at his most vulnerable, and vulnerability is still the one thing he can't quite come to terms with.

That unbreakable association that comes with having Six Eyes and Limitless to being The Strongest is too permanent in his memory; it's hard to imagine him in any other way but perfection. It's all-consuming, down to every last molecule in his body. He swiftly recalls the time he was crashing out the first time it occured to him that he might not have Limitless anymore in this new realm, and all the subsequent times he made Sakumo and Kakashi worried out of their minds because he insisted on using the eye in the name of wanting to become stronger.

Fear, anxiety, guilt, rage—feeling all of those new emotions is one thing; acknowledging the state of things that make him feel them—imperfection, lacking, ineptitude, weak, weak, weak—is another thing entirely.

Suddenly, he doesn't know how to form words anymore. He tries to force it out, "But here—" only to find a lump growing rapidly in his throat. His mind scrambles to find if there's an easier way to do it. There's a sense of urgency to overcome it in this moment, despite his innate aversion to facing it.

Strangely enough, it was Kakashi's annoyed and petty face that flashes into his head. Then Sakumo's figure takes shape as well, looking at him and Kakashi with an expression so bared and naked, telling without the need for words of how much he loves the two of them. Even stranger, that mental image alone stops his rising anxiety, replacing it with a sense of calm and ease. Soon the tightness in his jaw leaves him slowly, allowing him to breathe better.

"And here," he says instead, "I finally have it, the ones who see me as just me, without asking me for anything in return, not my power or the prestige of being associated with me. I'm just—just little Toshi to them; small, stubborn, and vulnerable little Toshi. And it took me—haaa, embarrassingly long to realize that it's everything that I ever wanted. It's maybe even too late. I was too busy trying to reclaim my title of being the strongest, in a world where it doesn't even require me to be, and because of that, I failed to keep safe the same people who give me the safe place to just be me. Tou-san is depressed, and I almost lost Kashi too. It's all my fault."

And finally, the wall of his heart crumbles into pieces. He admits it fully, unbidden and bare stripped to the bone, that he's no longer the impervious and invincible Gojo Satoru. He's just Satoshi here, one of the last three people of the Hatake clan, with only half of Six Eyes that clashes terribly with his own body. He has flaws now, and has made mistake after mistake; and is likely to continue that way.

The fear that he's been feeling is now settling into something more akin to resignation. He doesn't want to accept it, but after acknowledging it head on like that, it feels like there's no other way now.

After some moment of complete silence, which Satoshi can't tell anymore as he's too burdened by the past clashing with the present, it is Otsura who finally breaks it. With their typical flat, emotionless voice, they say, "None of that is your fault, Satoshi."

"Hah, I should've known you're gonna say that," Satoshi responds, disappointment dripping from his voice. He doesn't want to hear the bullshit consolation of modern therapy speak. It's not his thing.

He continues with anger in his voice this time, "Of course I'm not the one directly hurting them, but my selfishness has hurt them in its own way. I naively thought that by simply getting strong will make it all good again. I just—" his breath hitches. "I can't take it, knowing how little I can do things here, now that I'm... not the strongest anymore. It's so hard," he says, his voice getting weaker by the end.

The tension is returning again, this time settling in his knuckles, all curled up and set to hurt his own skin. It triggers a jolt within his Six Eyes, not accustomed to feeling pain that pierces the skin. He can feel it, almost imperceptibly, when the eye tries to activate itself to put on a layer of Infinity. The bandages prevent it from a release, so the chakra flow flares up for only that brief moment before settling down again. Satoshi has not intended to do that, it's just a result of an undying habit. He chuckles bitterly.

Otsura responds, voice remaining undisturbed after the boy's outburst, "I'm not denying that. It's a valid observation, a good thing even, to be able to recognize your own failing.

"But what I'm actually saying, is that it's none of your responsibility to fix any of that. And you should not burden yourself with that role. You may have been the strongest before, but when it comes down to it, it literally doesn't matter. Do you think, had you somehow been reborn here with all the power in your eyes and skin perfectly replicated, that you could still somehow prevent everything that happened, with Kakashi and especially with Sakumo? Can you stop the attempted kidnapping before it happened, or shut down the village for shunning your father for making a decision that did put the nation into significant setback?

"On the other hand, had you chosen the exact opposite and decided not to pursue your power this early, I could see nothing but even worse outcome. Your self discipline into honing your dojutsu must have been one of the things that gives Sakumo the encouragement to keep going with his life, and you literally saved Kakashi all by yourself by relying on your eye. You even said it's something you won't regret, and you will do it again. So you must know already what would have happened had you been completely powerless from the get-go.

"What I want you to understand, is that some things are just fundamentally inevitable, and how strong or weak you are at any point in your life doesn't have a bearing on it. This new beginning of yours, should not be perceived as a failed product of your own choice, it is a fresh starting line. You can learn anew, fall along the way, fall many many times in fact, but your impossibly perfect standard has to be shed off this time. You have to give yourself kindness and compassion. You are still just a human, right now in this world, and also even before."

Satoshi is yet again grateful for the bandages, as something in Otsura's words has enough force to knock down upon the impossible; Satoshi's about to fully on cry if not for it keeping the pressure within his eye.

Suffice it to say, nobody has ever told him anything like that in any lifetime. He almost can't believe it; the simple recognition to his humanness, in both versions of him, is apparently enough to alter his brain chemistry. What felt like a fatal freefall, is now safely turned and guided to a gentle landing by the hands of basically a stranger. It makes him rather speechless, even as his emotions are welling up to something he can't quite name; gratitude, maybe even indebtedness, definitely relief. Whatever it is, it feels like his heart just grows ten times bigger, and he knows how to breathe normally again.

"Are you always this good with words, Otsura-san? Were you a wannabe-poet, maybe?"

"You think so? I'm not a poet or anything, I just say things as it is, and I don't mince my words. It also doesn't matter to me whether or not you take my words, it's your life to live, not mine."

"Do you have a hobby of meddling into people's business, by chance?"

"Heck no, kid. I'm just a doctor, and you're a patient of mine. I saw a problem I think is within my scope, and I was compelled to help you in that regard. Say, is it really that hard for you to just say thank you like a normal person, Satoshi-kun?"

Satoshi snickers at that. "Sorry, sensei. It might take me a while to feel and act more like a normal person, even after this therapy session. Wait, did you just bait me into basically having a therapy session just now? I didn't even sign up for this, but well, I appreciate it still, sensei," he quips, feeling lighter than ever.

"So now you're calling me sensei like you actually mean it. You're very welcome, brat," Otsura remarks.

Aside from their words, there's also something in the way that Otsura speaks that somehow makes it easy to trust them. Satoshi doesn't know what it is exactly, maybe it's the flat tone that they use, or the straightforward way of communication, or the easy cadence that they hold during the conversation, or just the sureness of knowing one's wisdom, but he comes to like it. He likes it a lot.

"Sensei, where had you been in my previous life? Sheesh," he lightly jokes.

"To use my own words, I'm just a human. I can't be everywhere trying to help everyone. Just be thankful I'm even here at all to help you now. Good for you, huh."

"Aye eye, sensei~" Satoshi smiles widely, genuinely feeling so much better now. "But, sensei. You still haven't told me if you're gonna help me with my chakra problem? I still kind of need it, you know? My regular eye is nothing but dust now so I can't put it back in, so."

"Well, I did bring the whole topic because I wanted to see what kind of person you are. I hate working with snobbish ungrateful people. And perhaps, because I still hold my respect for Sakumo as well. He's a good man, and I was hoping you reflect some of that aspect in you."

"What's the final verdict, then?"

"I'll do it. But only when I'm off-duty. As for now, since you're still a patient, let's see what's going on with your chakra core, shall we?"

"Yaiy! Thank you, Otsura-sensei!"

Chapter Text

"Your chakra signature has changed again," Otsura claims after spending some time doing all sorts of chakra diagnostic procedures.

"How is it looking now? Is it getting better or worse? Don't say worse, please," Satoshi asks.

Otsura finally stops channeling their chakra through the boy's body, steps away a bit and signals to him that he can put the eye cover back on, which he did half-heartedly. "It looks like it finally starts to adapt to the need of your dojutsu eye. It's less rigid, more malleable so to speak. But it has yet to settle, so it might still feel unstable to use. But I would assume you won't have to feel as much pain as before."

Satoshi smiles widely. "That's great then—"

Otsura cuts him off. "You're not completely off the hook just yet. This might still bring a whole set of new problems, now that your chakra core is essentially forced to change its shape and form in an unnatural way. Your case has no precedence, so we just have to wait and observe for any changes."

It doesn't remove the smile from Satoshi's face. "Ehh, sure. If you say so. But this is still good for me, right? This means that my body is finally catching up to the ideal state to house the Six Eyes, right?"

Otsura regards him calmly. "I won't say whether it's gonna continue on that trajectory for sure. Like I said, we just have to look out for any shifts, be it an improvement or regression. So you still have to be careful with how you use it."

"Hmm, well. I'm just gonna do what I always do, then. Whatever happens, you can take care of it for me. Right, sensei?"

"You should keep in mind that I'm not omnipotent, kid. So if you break yourself too recklessly, even I may not be able to fix you up. Ah, well, I should just warn Kakashi about this instead of you. Surely more productive and reliable."

"Hey, now. I'm not that bad, you know. I sure as hell can take care of myself just fine. Hmph."

"Right. Sure," Otsura dismisses his claim casually. They sit on the chair again and observes Satoshi. "Say, any reason why it's called rikugan?" they curiously asks.

Satoshi swings his feet back and forth by the side of the bed, answering, "Well, the first users apparently had 6 eyes, like literally. Not sure why it stopped being that way over time, though. There's no recorded history of that for some reason. Good for me, though. Cool power as it is, having 3 pairs of eyes would feel too weird, and it would be too much of a hassle." He then switches the topic again, "By the way, sensei. Other than my chakra core acclimating to my eye, what about my yin and yang? Is it still fluctuating too much?"

Otsura hums. "So it seems. But it's hard to tell with the brief examination just now. While I can tell for sure that your eye is still pulling on your yin energy, creating a non-neutral balance to your yang counterpart, but because your chakra core is currently changing in rapid speed, it will definitely affect how your overall chakra behaves from now on. Again, it's another thing we have to closely watch over time."

"Do you think I can somehow gain some control over it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You see," there's a slightly more excited tilt in his voice just then, as he explains his thought, "Kakashi and I talked about it before, if there's anything we can do about that imbalance. He said since it's our own chakra, and the eye allows us to perceive its components, there could be a way somehow to take care of it. And I think it might not be totally impossible. I did kind of similar method of energy manipulation before, I'm just not yet sure how to do it now that there are two kinds of energy instead of just one, but with only one half of the Six Eyes."

"Explain to me that similar method you used before."

So Satoshi goes on to explain to them, how he had utilized his extreme level of extrasensory perception thanks to the Six Eyes to spend as little of his cursed energy to its most efficient usage, to the point where he could easily say that he practically had infinite amount of energy simply by continuously controling the levels of his innate cursed energy.

By the end of it, Otsura makes a comment, "You know, I can see now why they called you the strongest."

"Come on, sensei. Did you not believe me before?"

"I heard your story, but hearing a claim of that magnitude coming from a brat like you requires some necessary doubt. Anyone can say they're the strongest. But seeing and actually believing is another step entirely."

"So you believe me now, then?"

"I'll only believe it when you prove it. Right now, your theoretical explanation is believable enough for me to start looking at you in a better light. You must have been really smart to figure out such method."

"... Sounds like a backhanded compliment."

"That's because it is. Anyway, about that method you used—"

Clack! It's when the door opens, revealing Kakashi standing before the threshold.

"Oh, welcome back, Kakashi-kun. Come on in. How are you feeling?"

Kakashi then goes in and closes the door carefully behind him. "A bit better, I guess," he mumbles. Once again, Satoshi is confused by his brother's voice; there's very subtle difference to how it carries, but he can't quite figure out why. Before he can ask, though, Kakashi speaks again, "How's Toshi—I mean Satoshi doing, sensei?"

"His condition looks all good. You already know that all his vitals are working properly and there seems to be no lingering damage. However his chakra core is—"

A knock by the door before it opens abruptly, this time revealing a nurse. "Excuse me. Otsura-sensei, you're needed on the emergency unit."

"Triage?"

"2 people on level 2, 1 on level 3."

"On it," they nod readily. They address the 2 Hatake boys quickly, "I'll go for now. Satoshi-kun, I trust you can tell Kakashi of your condition. As of our discussion before, I'll see what I can come up with. Excuse me," before vanishing along with the nurse, leaving only the twins in the room.

Kakashi takes a seat on the vacant chair, asking, "So, what about your chakra core, Toshi? Is it... looking bad?"

The difference in Kakashi's voice keeps itching on his mind, but the question distracts him. He excitedly tells Kakashi, "Oh, oh! Kashi! You're not gonna believe this!"

Then he explains the rest of his conversation with Otsura to Kakashi who remains quiet the entire time. By the end of it, he quips, "Kashi, isn't that exciting? I'm excited!"

But there's no response coming from the younger twin.

"Kashi?"

Only silence greets him back. He knows Kakashi is still there in the room; he can still sense his presence, smell his scent. "What's wrong? Are you not feeling well? Should I call a medic?"

"No, no need. I'm fine. I'm just—I don't know. I'm not quite sure myself," Kakashi finally says.

Satoshi tilts his head to the side, then says, "About what?"

There's another silence, this one filled with clear hesitation from Kakashi. So Satoshi urges him, "You know you can tell me anything, right, Kashi?"

"Can I, though?" Kakashi snaps. He regrets it immediately, saying, "Sorry, didn't mean to be that loud."

Satoshi is more confused than ever. Is he still mad about what I said before? So he offers, "Hey, if it's about what I said earlier, I'm sorry, alright? I made you worried a lot, but I—"

"Do you really think it's about that? I mean, you did make me worried to hell and back, but that's not what I'm upset with. I've accepted that long time ago, that you will always make me worried all the damn time. I'm just—ugh, I don't know, maybe I should take another walk outside," Kakashi sighs, clearly frustrated.

Satoshi can't handle it anymore. He needs to know what's going on with his brother. So he leaps from the hospital bed onto the floor, and pulls off the bandages he just haphazardly tied back on earlier. "Kashi, let's tal—huh, why are you wearing a mask?"

There's a face mask now covering Kakashi's lower side of the face; definitely one of adult size since it looks awkwardly too big on his small round face.

Kakashi looks away, his visible eye almost concealed entirely from Satoshi's view. "Nothing. Just, nothing. Don't worry about it," he replies with a mumble.

"Huh. Are you sure? Wait, is your mouth still hurting? That bastard, he grabbed you by the jaw, didn't he? I remember seeing that. Is your bone dislocated, or maybe, it leaves a scar? Wait, I'll call a medic to check you up—"

"Satoshi!" Kakashi calls, voice snapping like a thunderclap, "It's nothing! I said I'm fine!"

Kashi... He never called me by that name before. What's going on with him? Satoshi thinks worriedly. "I'm sorry," he says weakly. "Okay, I believe you," he concedes. He's still not sure that the face mask is just 'nothing'. But it looks like Kakashi wants to drop the topic already. "As long as you're not hurting or in pain, then."

Now that Satoshi's eye is not covered up, he can follow Kakashi's bodily movement, including even the smallest change. He notices when Kakashi's fingers all curled up into fists, with his muscles all tensed up. He still can't see his twin's face, with the overlarge mask and the eye cover over his left eye and him still facing away, but there's a clear giveaway of his neck muscles pulling taut and tight. So he starts, "Hey—"

"But what about you?" Kakashi cuts him off again.

"What... do you mean, Kashi?"

"You said as long as I'm not hurting or in pain. But what about you? Is it alright then if it's you hurting or in pain?"

Satoshi is confused. "What? Kashi, that's not what I'm saying at all—"

"It's not what you said, but that's exactly what you did!" Kakashi's head suddenly snaps back to look straight at Satoshi, his eye looking tired and slightly red. "Maybe you don't remember because you were passing out the whole time and it felt to you like you were just sleeping, but you had acute chakra exhaustion that you only recovered after 2 weeks! Did you also forget that you don't have two eyes anymore? Huh? I know you're happy now that your chakra core seems to be getting better, but you really don't remember what happened back then on that day, do you? You were hysterical because you used so much chakra to do—whatever technique that you were doing, and after you passed out you looked like you were dead! You were bleeding so fucking much, you lost one of your eyes, your chakra almost completely depleted, and you were unconscious and unmoving! Was all that fine to you because it was not me hurting or in pain? What should I feel about it, then? Should I just nod along and be okay with you, hurting and in pain, as long as it's not me? Is that what you really mean?!" Kakashi screams without even stopping to take a breather, and by the end of it he is gasping for air. After a while, he continues to say, with weaker voice that is trembling and at the verge of tears, "How could I be fine with that, Toshi? How?"

There's a deafening silence blanketing the two in that room, and other than Kakashi's ragged breathing, nothing else can be heard.

Satoshi feels like he's suddenly been robbed of his air, yet his heart thumps harder and louder that it echoes all the way to his skull. In his most primal state of mind, all he can tell is that Kashi is very upset. Something inside of him is hurting him. Must fix it, while his more rational side is interpreting the problem only to arrive at the conclusion that It's my fault it's my fault it's my fault—

"Sorry, Kashi," he whispers, his words and breath leaving him almost in a hurry.

"Are you really, though? Tell me exactly what you're sorry for. I'm not even sure if you know."

"I'm—" Kakashi's right, Satoshi realizes as he scrambles to find the reasons. He's operating on panic mode. "I'm sorry for hurting and being in pain?" He lands on, ending the sentence with a question, unsure of himself. He's never seen Kakashi looking and sounding this mad, and it sends shocks to his brain. It just feels like he needs to apologize for something so he can calm his brother down and ease his mind.

"See? I know that you wouldn't know it. Stupid, you're so stupid, Ahotoshi." For the first time ever, Kakashi spits out the usually endearing nickname, typically used during their harmless playful banter, with disappointment and anger that burns this time.

Satoshi bites his lip. He really doesn't know what else it can be that's making his brother so upset at him. He tries to rewind their earlier conversations, trying to detect which part exactly is particularly different this time. He can find none. He only knows that he's always been acting the way he usually is, saying things that is well known to be in character for little Toshi. But he really, really doesn't like to see Kakashi directing this much hostility towards him. It makes his inside feeling like it's been squeezed.

He tries again, carefully asking the younger, "Hey, can you just tell me what it is, then? I don't know what I did wrong, but if you just tell me, I'll make up for it. I promise."

Kakashi scoffs. "And why should I tell you? That doesn't feel fair to me."

Satoshi frowns in confusion. "What?"

Kakashi makes a sound like a small laugh, conveying his disbelief. "Why should I tell you anything, when you don't do the same thing? Am I really that unreliable in your eyes or something? Or is it because you know I'll just disagree with you, and you don't want to bother arguing because it's a waste of time for you? That's it, isn't it? You think telling me will just mean I'll become an obstacle to your progress somehow. Maybe I'm the one who should apologize to you. Sorry for being a fussy little brother, nii-san. My bad, really."

"Wait, what—Kashi, I'm not sure what brought this on. Why are you saying sorry at all? I don't understand. I'm not being mad at you for whatever you did, you know? And I never thought of you as an obstacle—well, maybe sometimes, just a little bit, but it's nothing serious, I swear! I'm just too impatient most of the time, and you looking after me is actually good for me. So it's nothing for you to apologize for, I should be the one thanking you. I'm just—I'm not sure, what do you mean I won't do the same thing? What... thing, exactly?"

"Oh, you know. The very thing that you told me to do," Kakashi glares at him.

Satoshi has to do another rewind of his memory of the prior conversation, and even then he's still very much confused. "You mean when I told you you can tell me anything? Is that it? Are you saying you're upset with me because... I don't tell you stuff?"

Kakashi continues to glare, not saying a word.

"But, Kashi. I've told you everything, no? We had our talk, after Tou-san leaving, I told you everything that day. I'm not sure what you're—"

Kakashi suddenly stands up from his seat, a move that takes Satoshi by surprised. "Then why didn't you tell me you have that technique that didn't just kill two people, it almost even killed you! Did you really forget telling me that, or was that just a necessary lie, to keep me in the dark because, surely, 'Kashi won't allow me to do that ever because I might die from it and I don't care about my own safety as long as Kashi is not hurting or in pain'!"

Before Satoshi can even wrap his head around what Kakashi has just dumped on him, the younger makes a turn as if he's about to leave. So Satoshi's body move by reflex, and grabs Kakashi by the arm. "Wait, Kashi, where you going—"

"Let me go. I'm gonna go train by myself."

"What? Why? Right now? But aren't you still recovering? Shouldn't you rest some mo—"

"I'm fine. I was only unconscious for 3 days. I had plenty of rest. I should start training again. So let go," Kakashi says coldly. His eye is not looking in Satoshi's direction.

"Wait. Then I'll go with you. Let's train together. I just need to—"

Kakashi snaps Satoshi's grip off his arm then, and his dark eye returns to catch Satoshi's blue, both of them carrying frustration of different kinds, one of anger and one of disbelief.

"Is your own life worth so little to you?!"

Satoshi wide eye blinks once, his pupil trembling from shock. Is Kashi... crying?

"Kashi—" he brings up his hand again, wanting to immediately stop the running tears flowing from his brother's eyes, slowly wetting the mask under it.

Kakashi slaps his hand away again. "Answer me."

"Kashi, don't cry—"

"I said answer me, Toshi." Kakashi says, as his tears continue to flow. Satoshi's not even sure if he's aware that he's crying.

"But I don't get it, Kashi. What do you mean by that? I—"

Kakashi is the one stepping forward this time, his hands grabbing and pulling on Satoshi's hospital garb by the collar. "Does it not occur to you that you nearly died?!" His mask is making a shape of being filled with air and sucked back in, and repeat, back and forth and back and forth. The red in his eye looks even worse with the tears swelling over.

Satoshi puts his hands on Kakashi's face, and tries to wipe the tears away. He answers, without giving it much thought, "But I didn't. I'm still here, aren't I?"

A fresh stream flows down his cheeks then, and his eye contains even more hurt, which makes Satoshi's growing confusion intensifies exponentially; he feels like he's on the edge of hysteria himself.

Kakashi then shoves him back, before running out of the room.

"Kashi—!" Satoshi recovers quickly and immediately goes after him. For some reason, he finds himself struggling to keep up (it doesn't occur to him that his body is still incredibly weak after just waking up from a comatose, with no proper food entering his body for half a month; he's moving with no energy, only by sheer will). He stumbles on his feet a few times, but he refuses to look away from Kakashi's small back going further from him.

Kakashi takes a turn to another hallway, hiding him from view, so Satoshi wills his feet to run faster. He even pushes some chakra into his feet purely subconsciously, in a desperate attempt to close the suddenly growing distance between him and his brother.

Just when he's about to take the same turn himself, he slams hard onto someone's bigger than him.

"Oops! Sorry, kid. Didn't see ya—"

But Satoshi doesn't hear the man. Not Kashi, he simply concludes in his head. So he goes to run again, but before he can take as much of 2 more steps—

"Oi, kid! What's wrong with ya!"

—Satoshi is suddenly overwhelmed with a lightheadedness so overpowering, and then he passes out.

Chapter Text

When Satoshi wakes up, he's back on the hospital bed again. It takes him a few seconds to come around, and when he does, he immediately sits up with a gasp, followed by a shout, "Where's Kashi?!"

"Calm down, kid. You don't want to pass out again so soon," Otsura's voice calmly responds from somewhere next to the bed.

"Otsura-sensei? Where's Kashi? He's not in the room, so where is he?" His bandage is back on to cover his eye somehow, and he moves his hand to pull it off.

Otsura stops his hand and says, "Don't take it off. You passing out just now might be because you exposed your eye recklessly again."

"Where's Kashi?" Satoshi persists with his question even as he allows his hand to be guided back down to his laps.

There's a sigh coming from Otsura before they answer, "Well, as soon as I assured him that you're gonna be fine, he goes out right away, saying that he's gonna start training. Shocking, if you ask me, since he has not left your bed side ever since he woke up after his coma. Did you two have a fight? Kakashi looked rather upset when he walked out the door."

"Kashi's upset, huh?" Satoshi breaths the words like it's a sentence that doesn't quite makes sense to him. "Kashi's... upset with me, huh?" He repeats it, more to himself.

"So you two did have a fight." Otsura says. "First sibling fight?"

"Is that a normal thing? Ugh, I don't like this at all," Satoshi groans. "Do you know he just called me 'Satoshi'?"

"... But that's your name?"

"Kashi never calls me by that name before! It's like—it's like if I were to call him 'Kakashi'! That just sounds so wrong!"

"Right," Otsura flatly says. "Wanna tell me about it? Ah, but keep it short and concise, I'm rather busy right now," they offer.

"Oh, come on now, sensei. Spare me from your pettiness. I'm already not in the mood."

"Listen, kid, I am actually busy. If you recall, I'm working here as a medic nin. So, do you want my advice or not? I can just go right now, and it won't make me lose any sleep."

Satoshi sighs heavily. "Alright, fine. I'll tell you. Only because you ask me, though. Not because I can't figure it out myself. I can use the extra input."

"Sure."

"So. Listen to this, right," Satoshi begins. "I was just telling him about my chakra condition, but he didn't sound excited like I thought he would—he didn't make any sound at all actually, but when he did say something, he sounded very gruff, and it made me worried. So I got the bandage off, but then I saw the mask on him. I was so taken aback by that, so I asked if he's still hurting. But then he snapped at me just to say he's fine! So I said, 'alright, I believe you. As long as you're not hurting anywhere'. But then he snapped at me again! Saying things like 'what about you, though?' which I don't understand at all! I mean, okay, I was hurt and unconscious for 2 weeks, but I'm fine now! Sensei already checked everything and found there's nothing wrong with me, but most importantly I'm very much still alive! I don't know why Kashi made it sound like I was actually dead! And listen, sensei, even though I was still confused and all, I apologized anyway to him. I just don't like seeing him being all angry at me like that, it's kinda disconcerting, you know. I don't like it. So I said sorry, right, but then he still snapped at me for not knowing what I should be sorry for! So I asked him, 'can you just tell me, then? I promise I'll make it up to you'. But guess what? He won't tell me! In fact, he snapped at me, again! For some reason, he's upset at me because he's convinced that I didn't tell him stuff, and that me asking him to tell me whatever's worrying him is somehow unfair to him. Can you believe it, sensei? It's ridiculous, right?"

After about 4 seconds of no responds, Otsura sighs. "Oh, Sage. Maybe I shouldn't have asked."

"Sensei~ Tell me what I did wrong? I'm not, right? Kashi's just being dramatic about it after all. There's no way he's actually that upset because I didn't tell him I have more techniques with the eye, especially after I quite literally saved his ass with my eye! I don't get Kashi at all!"

"No, I totally get him actually," Otsura replies nonchalantly.

"What? Wait, you also think I'm in the wrong, sensei?"

"Well, it's less about who's in the wrong, it's more about unresolved disagreement between you two, possibly involving some miscommunication as well. You both mean well for each other, but you can't agree on the methods used by the other one. In the same way that you think you're protecting him by forcing your dojutsu beyond its limit, Kakashi believes that he's somehow failed to protect you because you didn't tell him everything he needs to know about your dojutsu. The aftermath is a separate thing entirely. In his perspective, that kidnapping incident could have still ended up in radically different result, and it would—in his head at least—still be his fault. And it's all because he didn't know you had something that you hide from him that could've gotten you killed. I think he was scared of that alternative."

Satoshi is silent for a while after that, mulling over Otsura's explanation. Then, almost like he's still in a daze, he asks, "What should I do, then? You know why I can't tell him everything. Kashi will just freak out."

"I'm not suggesting you should tell him everything either. My advice would just be clear communication. Simple and cliche as it is, there's a reason why it's the most effective. Wait up until he's calm down for now, then talk to him again. Try to understand his perspective rather than forcing yours onto him. Specifically on your case, I think it's fitting that you should be the one acting more mature. Keep in mind, Kakashi is a child recently going through a very traumatic event. He's not like you with so many years on your head. It's taking a toll on him, so you should be the one taking care of him now," Otsura advices.

"Taking care of Kashi, huh," Satoshi mutters. "Kashi's always taking care of me all this time."

"Then it's time for you to return the favor for him."

Satoshi makes a resolve in that moment that he'll make more conscious effort to do just that.

"Oh, by the way, kid," Otsura speaks again once they see that Satoshi has made his decision, this time changing the topic to the boy's health update, "Keep the use of your eye to a minimum for now. Don't agitate your chakra with it too. I have a strong suspicion that the cause of your fainting just now is because your chakra core goes into a state similar to a shock."

"... What does that even mean?"

"Hm, let's see. If we're taking a modern example as analogy, it would be like having a hypotension shock. That's when you hit severe low blood pressure leading to a shock to your organ, in this case it would be your chakra core, and it will result in lightheadedness and fainting. So."

Satoshi considers the explanation in his head. "So," he says slowly, "you mean to say that I have, what, basically low BP now?"

"If you replace the BP with chakra circulation, yes."

"... How am I supposed to continue training then."

"You know what, kid. I really have to return to the emergency unit. I left some works to my colleagues to attend to you. For now, I suggest you to rest. I'll send words to the nurses to start reintroducing you to proper food again. And I'll tell them to make it so you can eat it with your eye closed. Anything else you need to tell me for now?"

"... Can you persuade Kashi to come and see me?"

A sigh. "He'll see you whenever he decides he wants to. Don't worry too much about him, and maybe start learning to worry a bit more about yourself. I'm sure that's what Kakashi also wanted to tell you."

.

.

.

Kakashi is frustrated. He's frustrated even with the fact that he's frustrated.

Why did I yell out my frustrations on Toshi like that? He's just waking up after he's been hurt badly. He should be resting right now and I should be helping him, and yet here I am, sulking and walking off on my own after dumping it all on him. Urgh, what's wrong with me?

He sends a series of kicks and punches to the tree trunk-turned-training post in one of the training ground, each strike delivered with levels of frustration that has no place to go. He can feel it in his knuckles that it hurts more than his usual practice, but he allows it this time.

I can't fight and punch myself, so I deserve this pain in my hands.

Kakashi doesn't know why exactly he's feeling this way. He should feel joy that Satoshi turns out to be completely okay after everything that he went through. He's also looking bright and cheerful, just like he usually is, which means it doesn't affect him mentally, which is also great.

Toshi's all good, physically and mentally and everything, his chakra is even kind of improving. I should be happy. I should be happy for him. It's a good thing. It's a good thing! I know what I'm worried over, but I shouldn't have dumped that on him. I'm so dumb. Stupid me. Bakashi.

For every self-scolding, he strikes the post with his fist. But his punches soon are coming to a slower pace, and he gradually loses some power in his hands.

But I also don't want to apologize to him over this. I feel like I should, but...

As he can't find conclusion to his inner turmoil, his hands are finally coming to a stand still, falling to his sides and hanging there weakly and heavily. His head hangs low, and he sways slightly forward until his forehead is touching the padded wooden post. He stands there in that position for a while, to the point that the sun goes significantly lower that the shadows of the trees are swallowing the entire area.

There's suddenly a light tapping and a leaf getting crunched sound coming from behind him.

Kakashi's immediately on alert, turns around and assumes a defensive stance. Before he can think of it, his hand quickly pulls up the bunched face mask from under his jaw to cover his mouth.

"Whoa, you're quick to move. Sorry, I must've startled you," says the stranger, smiling at him with his hands in the air. The stranger is a young man, probably in his teenage years, his hair bright yellow blond and his eyes a tad darker shade of blue from the one in Kakashi's own left eye.

Kakashi doesn't relax. He glares at the teen, "Don't come any closer. Who are you?"

The teen tilts his head slightly. Then he taps his forehead protector with a finger, the one clearly showing the Konoha shinobi symbol on it. "I'm of Konoha. You can relax. The name's Namikaze Minato. Nice to meetcha!"

"..."

"... Uhm."

"What do you want?"

"Ehh. Nothing in particular. I was just taking a walk around the village because I feel a bit restless. Just stumbled upon this area by chance when I saw you were practicing all by yourself. Was a bit worried when you stopped and just won't move. I wanted to check on you, but I guess you're okay. I mean, you are okay, right?"

Kakashi relaxes fully from his position then. He huffs, "I'm fine."

Minato observes him silently. He eyes the boy's bruised knuckles, his middle and pointer fingers especially looking busted. There's even some scrapes where blood seeps through. So he says, "You need to treat your hands."

Kakashi takes a brief look at his own hands, but then he scoffs, "I'll take care of it later."

"Hm," Minato regards him, "I can help you with it now. I have my first aid with me."

"No need. Just leave me alone," Kakashi turns around, dismissing the older boy's offer.

"Dont be like that," the man suddenly appears right in front of him in a swirl of wind, making Kakashi gasps out loud in surprise. "You have to take caution and care for your own body whenever you can, especially as a ninja. You're gonna be a ninja someday, am I right?"

Kakashi clutches his pants. He considers it for a moment, before letting a resigned sigh. "Yeah, I am. I guess you can help me with it, if you don't mind."

Minato smiles at him. "I don't. Let's treat your wounds."

So there they are, sitting in a log on the side of the training field, with Minato treating and bandaging Kakashi's fingers. The older boy begins to strike up conversation with the younger one while at it.

"How old are you, by the way? Are you even in the academy?"

"I'm four. I'll be enrolling next year."

"Oh, really? Wow, you're so diligent for your age. That's so cool."

"It's nothing much. We have nothing to do besides training since... since the war started."

"Hm? How so? You don't play with the other kids your age?"

"... No."

"Aren't you lonely at all?"

"I'm with my brother all the time. It's just the two of us mostly."

"Ah, I see. I'm guessing your parents are out on missions a lot too then?"

"... Why do you assume that my parent is also ninja?"

"Well, you're training to become one already, despite your age. And you're talking about enrolling to the ninja academy as if that's already decided. Those are usually signs of someone from a shinobi family. Did I guess correctly?"

"... Well, you're not incorrect. I am from a shinobi family. And, yeah, our father is... often away. So it's... just me and my brother."

"Mm? You sound like you don't like that. Don't tell me you don't get along with your brother, or something?"

"It's not like that. We're really close. It's just..."

Minato then lets go of Kakashi's hands, having just finished bandaging his little fingers. He doesn't say anything in the lingering silence.

It takes Kakashi awhile to continue his words. "... We have a fight. I've been feeling... off because of it."

Minato observes the boy, not giving any respond.

Feeling a bit awkward with the suddenly quiet stranger teen, Kakashi starts to fidget. "Well, thanks for treating my hands and for the aid. I'm... gonna go." He's about to stand up and walk away when Minato finally says something.

"So that's why you were looking all rough and gloomy earlier."

"..."

"You know, I'm kind of jealous of you."

"Huh? Jealous? For what?"

Minato laughs a little. "Jealous of the fact that you have a fight with your brother. Well, uhm, actually let me rephrase that a bit, I'm jealous of the fact that you have a brother to have a fight with."

Kakashi looks at him with a judging look. "That's a weird thing to be jealous over. You're weird. And I don't get the difference of what you're saying."

Minato laughs louder this time. "I guess I am kinda weird that way, that's fair to say. Well, I have my reason. Wanna hear it?"

Kakashi gives him a side eye. "Why do I feel like I don't have a choice?"

"What? No way. I won't force you to listen to it. You can totally go if you want," Minato blinks innocently, "even though I did just help you treat your wounds and have a chat with you and I would be lonely once you leave..."

Kakashi sighs. "Fine. I'll hear you out. Tell me your reason, then."

Minato grins victoriously. "Aw, thanks. You're actually quite sweet, aren't you."

The comment makes Kakashi splutters.

"Anyway, as I was saying. I'm jealous that you have a brother to have all kinds of dynamics with. You know, someone you're close to, do things together with, train together, and sometimes you even fight with. I don't have a family, so I miss all of that. I often watch people with their family, and I think it must be nice to have someone who is connected to you on a deeper level, who spend time with you the most, share meals with, you laugh and cry together, travel together. Family members have lots of moments that are special only to the family. Most importantly, you have someone you know you can trust your life with. It's all the kinds of experience I never have the chance to feel, so. Yeah, I'm rather jealous."

Kakashi looks at him with an unreadable expression.

"Oops, was that too long? I was kinda yapping a bit there, huh."

"It's alright," Kakashi mutters. "I get what you're saying. I think."

Minato smiles. "See, I know you'll understand."

Kakashi is quiet again. He has a somber contemplative look on his face.

Minato gives him a gentle verbal nudge. "It's okay. You and your brother will be fine."

Kakashi scoffs lightly. "You say that because you don't know my brother."

Minato smiles just a tad bit bigger, gentler somehow. "You're right that I don't. But you do, and you also think you two are gonna be fine, right?"

"Well," Kakashi fidgets with his bandaged fingers. "I want us to be fine."

"Do you think your brother wants the same thing as you too?"

Kakashi considers it for a moment. "He does," he says finally.

Minato blinks at the sureness of the claim. He was expecting a positive leaning answer, but not quite a straightforward statement with a tone that conveys such conviction. It's as if the younger boy knows it to be true. It brings a wider grin to his face. "That's good. I think you're already halfway there. It's just a matter of completing the step."

"How..." Kakashi hesitantly asks, "do you do that, exactly?"

Minato opens his mouth to answer, only to close it again. He then hums and makes a contemplative face, his eyes squinting and one hand holding his own chin. "Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm. You know what. Since I don't have family, I don't know the answer to that."

Kakashi rolls his eye in exasperation.

"How about this," Minato continues, grinning at the younger boy, "when you two figure it out, you tell me what the answer is!"

Chapter Text

Kakashi had a plan to go home alone after the blond teenage boy left him in quite a hurry ("I have a crush I'm trying to impress this evening, so I gotta go. See ya around!"), but for some reason, his feet are carrying him back to the hospital building once again.

He looks up at the looming building before him, and his eye immediately finds the exact window of the room where his twin brother is residing at the moment; 3rd floor on the right wing, 3rd room from the end of the hallway, facing the front side where's he's currently standing. His brother is inside that room; most likely anyway, hopefully resting. The probability of Satoshi being anywhere but his hospital room right now is low, especially after fainting not long after waking up from a coma, but he's keenly aware that it's, unfortunately, not zero.

He makes a sour face behind his mask. He really hates this feeling; the feeling that he keeps questioning Satoshi as if he somehow has lost trust in him. It's very confusing, in the same way that he is feeling frustrated with himself for dumping his frustration onto Satoshi just this early morning. He feels like a jumbling and tumbling paradox right now.

He wants to trust his brother, but he can't because the definitive proof that Satoshi has hidden important things from him, but not trusting him makes him feel really bad inside, and somehow, again, it makes him feel like he should apologize, even though he is sure that he doesn't need to and doesn't want to.

There's a giant storm of contradiction in him when it comes to dealing with Satoshi, and worst of all, he doesn't know what to do. And maybe that's why he hit a breaking point earlier that day, because that exact feeling; of not knowing what to do when there's clearly something wrong, and it's driving him crazy.

It's been festering in him since way before the incident; since the day their father returned home and everything was suddenly never the same. The helplessness of it all is almost suffocating, that he can't help but to rush it all out before he becomes completely breathless.

Toshi is right. I also hate being just a kid. It's suckass.

Something in the window flickers. Kakashi watches it silently as the window pane is pushed outward to open, and then Satoshi's head is peering slightly outside. Luckily it looks like he's been following the instruction to keep the bandages wrapped around his head covering his eye, and while it's hard to see the detail from that distant, Kakashi can tell that his complexion is already looking better than the last time he saw him that very morning. He refrains himself from calling for his attention just to see what Satoshi is trying to do.

The older twin's head moves in a way that looks like he's scanning his surrounding. Sometimes he pauses and then tilts his head, looking like he's considering something, before continuing on another direction.

It doesn't take Kakashi long to realize what his brother is trying to do; He must be testing out his other senses without his sight.

That's another question regarding Satoshi that Kakashi simply doesn't know where to even begin: why did he choose to throw away his other eye. In retrospect, Kakashi is pretty damn sure that he could have just used Infinity to block the incoming needles. And he knows that Satoshi knew that too in that very moment. It was his choice, and from the looks of it, he doesn't regret it either.

Instead, it's Kakashi who is feeling all the regrets. And as with everything else, he also doesn't know what to do with it. He feels very useless.

He turns on his heels to leave the hospital, deciding that he might as well just go home for now and try to figure himself out and see if he can find something that he can actually be useful for. But a voice from above stops him in his track.

"Kashi? Is that you down there? It's Kashi, right? Kashi, Kashi! Hey, if it's really you, say something back, Kashi! Heyyy!" Satoshi hollers from the open window.

Kakashi turns his head to look back up, and is relieved to see that the bandages are still on. For a moment there he thought Satoshi foolishly took it off again. But how did he know it's me from all the way up there without seeing?

Satoshi speaks again loudly, "Hey, I know you just stop walking, so it must be you, right, Kashi? Come on, say something, please. Even if it's not Kashi, just tell me, so I can slam this window close to spare me from the embarrassment. If I'm wrong, then this never happened. But I'm pretty sure I'm right! Kashi, it's you there, right?"

Kakashi blinks, then turns around slowly. He finally responds, not quite yelling as loud, "It's me alright. What are you doing? Get back to bed and rest properly." He's not sure if they're just gonna pretend that their arguments that morning didn't happen, and if they're just gonna act like usual. Maybe it's easier this way for both of us.

"Where were you wanna go just now? You were walking away, right? Why didn't you come and see me, then?" Satoshi asks.

Kakashi hesitates a bit, feeling a pang of guilt within him. "I was going to go home."

"What?" Satoshi shouts in genuine surprise. "No, don't go back just yet! I still can't leave, you know? Otsura-sensei will get mad if I try to leave today!"

Kakashi frowns. "Of course you can't! I wasn't asking you to go back with me!"

"But you can't! Absolutely can't!" Satoshi proclaims loud and clear.

"Why can't I? Surely I can do whatever I want, I am also my own person!" Kakashi pettily answers.

Satoshi pouts. "Okay, fine! You win! But can you go up here first? You can go home afterwards if you wanna."

Kakashi narrows his eye. "What for?"

Satoshi makes a sigh. "Kashi, let's have a talk. Properly this time."

.

.

.

When Kakashi opens the door to Satoshi's room, the window on the other side is already closed. The older twin is sitting cross-legged on the bed, facing the door, like he's just waiting for the younger to arrive. He greets him with his boyish grin, but doesn't say anything.

Kakashi closes the door behind him and asks, "How did you know it was me from up here? You didn't cheat and made a tiny slit on the bandage, did you?" He walks towards the bed, intending to take a seat on the chair next to it.

"Kashi, sit up here with me. Come on," Satoshi says, patting the empty half space on the bed in front of him. "I'll tell you how I did it. Don't worry, no bandage was harmed or removed. I swear."

So Kakashi climbs up the bed, and sits with his knees folded close to his chest. He observes Satoshi's bandages and confirms that he isn't lying. "Alright. Tell me then."

"Hm, I'll tell you if you tell me why you still have a mask on," Satoshi says.

Kakashi is quiet for a while. Then he responds, "I'll tell you if you tell me why you hid your dojutsu technique from me."

Satoshi freezes for a split second, before melting into a resigned smile. "I see, right to the point, huh."

"You were the one who said we should have a talk properly. If we're really gonna do this, then I just have to. If you still won't tell me, then I'm walking home."

Satoshi puts both his palms on the bed in front of him, body leaning forward, hurriedly saying, "Don't go, Kashi. Please, I've been thinking about this the whole day and I need it resolved by tonight. My heart can't do this for too long."

Oh? Kakashi silently wonders to himself, has he been feeling all over the place too, maybe? He asks, "What do you mean by that?"

Satoshi sighs heavily. Then his head leans forward and facing down, and his hands bend slightly. With a mumbling tone he says, "I'm sorry."

Kakashi is silent. He's waiting.

And Satoshi knows what he's waiting for. So he continues, "I'm sorry for the lame apology I did before, when I didn't even know what I have to be sorry for, because I—err, just panicked when I saw you being upset. I did some reflection and now I understand what I should be apologizing to you."

"... Which is?"

Just very slightly, the head goes lower. "I'm really sorry for not telling you that I have other technique with my dojutsu eye. Because of that I've made you super worried all this entire time and I made light of it. I promise I'll take it seriously from now on."

Kakashi looks expressionlessly at the top of Satoshi's head for a while, who is not moving from his position even as it's clear that he finished his words. Then Kakashi sighs. "You're still not getting it."

Only then Satoshi's head snaps up. "Wait, that's not it? But I thought—"

"You're on the track," Kakashi cuts him, "but that's not it exactly. I mean, that's part of the issue, and I acknowledge your apology. But just so you know, I already make peace with that, even before you're saying it to me. I'm telling you, I've accepted that you're gonna continue to make me worried anyway."

Satoshi makes a confused face. "Okay," he says hesitantly, "then what is it, really? Please don't get mad at me again for asking. I really thought over it the entire day while you were out. I really tried, and now I'm really clueless. I promise I'll hear you proper, Kashi."

Satoshi can't see it, but as he bites his lips in nervousness after asking that same question that got Kakashi to snap at him earlier in the day, Kakashi makes a gentler expression.

"Toshi, give me your right hand," he says.

"Huh? Why?"

"Just do it. I won't bite you, you know."

"Okay?" Satoshi offers his right hand towards Kakashi in front of him.

Kakashi then takes the hand into his, fiddling with the fingers and brushing the palm. At one point he brings his own left hand to parallels Satoshi's right, aligning all fingers and pressing their palms together. Then he just holds it there.

"... Um. Kashi?"

"Do you think I should be scared of you, Toshi?" Kakashi then asks.

Satoshi presses his lips into a thin line. He suddenly looks more tense. The tension can be felt even in his voice. "Are you scared of me?"

"No. No, I'm not," Kakashi replies. "But it feels like I should. Can you guess why?"

Satoshi's body is up straight and rigid, in contrast with Kakashi whose body is bogged down feeling heavy and tired. "Is it because of my power?"

"Hmm, that would make the most logical sense, huh. Everyone will probably think so too. But it's not that."

"... Then?"

Kakashi lightly plays with Satoshi's thumb and pointer finger with his own. His mind recalls the moment when those fingers belonging to his brothers, the mirrors to his own, made the shape through which Satoshi releases his mysterious dojutsu killing technique. He finally says, "I don't know if you're aware of this, Toshi, but when you came to save me, the entire time, I thought you looked like a different person."

Upon hearing that, Satoshi holds his breath.

"I understand, though. You were angry, the same exact feeling I would be feeling too had it been you in my position. I get that part. But you on that day, you looked so different that you almost felt like... a stranger."

Satoshi gulps nervously.

"It felt just like that, like a stranger took over your body and was doing reckless things without any regards for the consequences to your body. Even the way you spoke was... uncanny."

Satoshi takes a sharp intake then. "Were you scared of that part of me, then?"

Kakashi stops fiddling with their fingers, letting it rest on each other. "No, not that too. I'm not finished saying it."

Now Satoshi is frowning. "So, then, if you're not scared of me at all or my power..."

The sentence lingers unfinished there. There's a silence hanging between them at that moment, as they're both holding their breaths; Satoshi because he's fearing for his brother's answer, and Kakashi because it just clicks to him the core truth behind the frustration that has been driving him halfway mad the whole day.

"I'm scared of losing you, Toshi," Kakashi finally finishes the lingering sentence. "That's what I'm scared of the most," he whispers weakly.

Satoshi's jaw slackens, and there's a noticeable shake when he breathes out.

Kakashi continues, "I will never be scared of you—any part of you, be it your power or your other self that you hide away from me or your reckless drive and ambition or you and all your secrets. You're still Toshi to me, still stupid silly Toshi. But when you did something like that, and I couldn't keep up, I just felt... lost. And the gap between us felt wider, and all of a sudden I actually nearly lost you there, forever. And I didn't know what to do with it. I'm just so scared of having to see you die. You almost died, you really did."

Kakashi hugs his folded feet closer with his other hand, and his head hangs low on top of his knees. The movement makes their touching palms separate ever so slightly, and all their fingers weakly curls onto itself, with Satoshi's own covering Kakashi's hand. Neither of them lowers their hands, subconsciously refusing to let go of each other's warmth.

When Kakashi speaks again, it is with a weak tremble in his voice, "But then you looked like you didn't mind it. And that's what makes me upset, Toshi."

Even as his name is uttered, Satoshi doesn't say anything. He can't say anything. The realization carries with it a landfall of regrets.

"I wish... I wish you can be scared of the same thing too... Of you dying and leaving me all alone in this world to wander without a soul meaninglessly until I kill myself too—"

"Kashi!" Satoshi surges forward on his knees, enveloping Kakashi with his hands and body, his face on Kakashi's hairs. "Don't say that. Please, don't say that. You can't. You absolutely can't."

There's sniffles coming from Kakashi. "Then you absolutely can't leave me too. I won't allow it. Even if you sacrifice your life for me, I'll just die right away. I—"

"Kashi, please. Stop saying that. I don't wanna hear that from you anymore, please."

"Promise me, then."

"Anything. I'll promise you anything you want."

Kakashi pushes Satoshi slightly, until they are face to face, and his mask is gone, no longer covering anything. "Just like I promised you back then. Now you have to promise me that you'll never leave me, no matter what. I won't forgive you if you do."

Satoshi moves his hand to snatch his bandages off, and it startles Kakashi.

"Toshi—!"

"Don't worry. It's okay," Satoshi assures him gently. "I want you to see me when I make the promise, so that you know that I truly mean my words."

Showing his eye not to see, but to be seen.

To lay bare the truth this time, without barrier between them.

Returning the lost trust back to his hands.

And then Kakashi's obsidian reunites with Satoshi's blue.

"I promise you, Kashi. I'll never leave you, ever. Never ever, ever ever ever. We're gonna be together, always. Even if you get sick of me, I'll still be sticking to you like super glue. You can never get rid of me. And even if Death gets me, I'll fight It and return to you. So you don't have to worry anymore, alright? That's my promise to you. Just trust me, Kashi."

It makes Kakashi giggles, even as more tears fall from his eyes. "You're gonna be so strong that you can fight the Death?"

"And I'll win it. That's more important."

A smile is formed in Kakashi's face. "It's so you to make a promise like that."

Satoshi grins, his thumbs wiping away the tears from his brother's cheeks. "So me, as in cool?"

"It's so you, as in silly. You silly Toshi."

Satoshi grins even wider.

And Kakashi smiles back.

.

.

.

"So you're telling me you had the idea in your head from before, but you never actually tried it until that day of the incident?"

"Yeah. I didn't intend to hide it from you, I was just... still preoccupied with the base concept. I guess I forced through unlocking some of the techniques because I was in a hurry to save you. That's probably what people mean by running on adrenaline, or something."

"Hmm, I guess so. But it looked like it hurt you a lot. Did you remember? You were screaming and all, and for some moments you really looked out of it."

"I can't recall some details, but I think I remember most of how it went. To be honest, more than the pain, I just felt mostly angry, even when I was slightly confused by the pain. I kept feeling the need to... unleash my rage somehow."

"... I want to catch up to you soon, Toshi."

"Hm? I'm sure you will, Kashi. I know you can. You're my brother, after all!"

"Yeah? Then you have to tell me how you do all those new dojutsu techniques. In details. No backing out, okay?"

"Ehh? I'm not so sure how detailed you mean, Kashi. Your method's more complicated than mine."

"As detailed as you can get and more."

"But, Kashi! Some of them are too dangerous to even practice lightly! Are you sure?"

"Ahotoshi. This is why I said I need as detailed as you can get of the concepts. I'll be figuring it out from theory first, then move into practicing it after I fully understand. That way, I'll include even the risk and can prepare for it well. Unlike a certain someone who dove into it headfirst."

"Hey now~ If you say it like that..."

"You can't disagree with that because you know I'm doing it the better way. Now, tell me how you knew it was me outside the building?"

"Oh, I was just focusing on my hearing and smelling senses. Your scent got picked up by the wind so that's how I knew."

"Hm, I see. I kind of guessed it but that's still impressive that you managed it that far."

"I'm sure you can too just by focusing into it. Since all our senses are heightened and all. We're just too dependent on our sight so we don't usually pay attention to the others."

"You're right."

"What about your mask, though? You haven't told me about it."

"Well... I, ah... can't quite tell you before while I was in emotional high, but... I started feeling... a tad bit paranoid... that someone can grab me by the mouth again and... it just feels like too big a weakness point of mine. I'm getting too conscious of it everytime there are other people who can see my mouth. It makes me feel... a bit uneasy."

"... Kashi."

"Don't. Let's just move on. I'll get over it with time. Don't look so guilty about it. It wasn't your fault."

"Okay... Um, anyway. Are you still gonna go home alone tonight?"

"Actually, I'm too tired to walk back home, I think. I'll just crash here again."

"Oh, oh, oh, oh! Let's have dinner together, then! I'll ask the staff to bring one more serving for you. So then we can suffer together eating their bland shit."

"Honestly I'm too tired to go out even across the street so I'll take whatever they can give me. I don't mind bland food that much."

"Bleugh, really, Kashi? That's no fun if you don't suffer like I do. Wait, you don't eat much sweets, do you? Is that because you want to give me more because I like sweets or you actually just don't like sweets?"

"The latter."

"Oh dear Sage, and I thought you liking eggplant with miso soup is lame enough and now this! Kashi, you need to upgrade your taste!"

"My taste is perfectly fine. And you eat too much sugary stuffs you'll get ants swimming in your blood soon."

"... Don't remind me about my blood problem, please."

"What? What blood problem? Hey, what do you mean your blood problem, Toshi? Hey, tell me!"

"I got... something analogous to low blood pressure now."

"When you say analogous, to what?"

"Otsura-sensei said my chakra circulation got kinda messed up, so I may or may not be having a fainting problem on my hand."

"... How are you supposed to be training from now on, then?"

"... That's exactly my question too. Haa. And so close to entering the academy too."

"... We'll figure it out, Toshi."

"... Together?"

"Together."