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Chapter Text

Kunikida had not expected the pure sorrow that filled him when Dazai acually succeded with his suicide plan. The tears that rolled down his face surprised everyone in the room, including Kunikida. He had known for a long time he was in love with Dazai, but never acted on those foolish thoughts as it was dictated in his notebook that he would marry a woman. He also knew that Dazai was not well, after all, he was a suicidal maniac.

But now, after hearing the news, he could not say a singe word, he was completely numb in his body language. His thoughts were simple, just a little: Why didn't i do something? Why didn't i do something when i knew he was not well, when i knew he tried so many times? He hated the fact. Hated the fact that the only thing he did was shout at him for trying to kill himself. Hated himself for not saving him from the sorrow that he was obviously suffering through.

Kunikida wanted to scream, to shout at himself for letting this happen. But when Yosano told the members of the agency the horrible news, all he could do was sit there and just stare at her. Stare at her and apparently crying. He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, his throat was dry and his tears were spilling.

What could he possibly do in this cruel situation? Comfort Atsushi, who also was crying by the sounds of it, would be the logical answer, but he couldn’t help himself from crying too. How would you expect him to comfort others when he couldn’t even comprehend these gruelling news himself?

He felt himself getting dizzy, his head swaying a little. The last this he saw was Yosano running towards him before his head hit the wooden surface of his desk.

—

When he woke up he was in a bed.

He turned his head to the side slowly, Atsushi was sitting on a chair beside him, calling someone while muttering soundless words to himself. The person he was calling seemed to finally pick up considering the strained posture Atsushi suddenly made. Some words were said on the other line before atsushi said anything.

“Yes, hello Ryunosuke! It’s me, Atsushi.” He said to Akutagawa apparently. Some more words were spewed from Akutagawa before Atsushi spoke up again.

“No, Ryunosuke, I’m not calling because of Dazai-san…” Atsushi’s voice got up to a strained sob at the mention of Dazai. Hell, even Kunikida almost started sobbing too!

“I was hoping you could come pick me up from work today…”

“What?” Kunikida finally spoke up from were he had been listening from, making Atsushis head whip to the side and looking at the now fully awake Kunikida. “Why would a port mafia member pick you up from work?!” His words missed the usuall spite and anger it usually had, now it just sounded dull, like the light had been sucked out of him.

Atsushi said a small goodbye and a “ill call you soon” At the phone before stuttering over his words trying to explain.

“I-I can explaing! I- just- not now okay!” Was all he got before a loud crash was heard from outside the room, probably the agency entrance door. “Shit…” Atsuhi mumbled before attempting to standing up from the stool he was sitting on. The door of the room was shoved open in a hasty way that made it seem like the agency is under attack, making kunikida sit up from his laying postition.

A very worred looking Akutagawa stormed in and started mumbling thisngs to atshushi.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Why are you crying?!”

Now this confused Kunikida and Atushi.

Kunikida looked at the mafia memeber like he was crazy. Why in the everloving hell would he care about Atsushi, his enemy?! “What is going on, Atsushi?” He instead asked with that, new, dull voice of his.

“Where is Dazai-san?!”

Chapter Text

“Where is Dazai-san?”

A not so strained sob came out of Kunikida at that he could not stop, earning a curious glance from Akutagawa. Atsushi looked down to his feet, seemingly more interested in the wooden floor then the ‘conversation’ they were having.

“What happened to Dazai-san?” Akutagawa seemed to put two and two together and figure out something happened to Dazai for this to be Kunikida’s reaction. “Why is that man crying, Atsushi?!”

“Kunikida-san is crying because Dazai-san is DEAD!”

The tears spilled over in both Kunikida and Atsushi at that, the words setting them back into reality. Akutagawa seemed to space out as he just stood there with a shocked, yet sad, expression.

Kunikidas head felts dizzy again as he hadn’t yet recovered from earlier today. He laid down again and fell asleep fast.

—

Atshusi had by accident blurted out the cruel information to Akutagawa instead of telling him softly like he planned.

He didn’t even register the fact that Kunikida had gone back to sleep, instead he just broke down crying on the cold wooden floor. A pair of clothed arms wrapped around him, all the same mumbling comforting words in his ears.

Atshishi didn’t even release it was Ryunosuke before he looked up again at his sweet, sweet lover.

“You’re ok. It going to be okay.” Ryunosuke sounded so sure he almost wanted to believe that everything was ok, but it wasn’t. Nothing ‘ok’!

He didn’t realise until she spoke up, but Yosano had entered the room to look at what all the commotion was. “What the hell…” was all she said, definitely confused by what was going on in the cramped room.