Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They’re in Paris, of all places, when it happens.

Ava wakes up to a loud clatter, groaning and tossing an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirps brightly. Another loud noise as the curtains are yanked open by her annoyingly cheerful roommate for this particular mission. “We’ve got to go, though– Alexei just called, the buyers are showing up an hour earlier than planned.”

Ava rolls off the mattress, allowing herself a second to take in the view of the Eiffel Tower before following after Yelena and yanking on her suit.

“Why so early?” Ava asks, shimmying into her trousers.

“Alexei thought they’d sit down for breakfast, I guess? When they got to-go cups, he lost it– kept saying ‘What kind of Frenchmen are these, huh’” Yelena mocked her father’s voice. “‘Who doesn’t sit at the cafe and chat before a mission? Smoke a cigarette or two?’” She laughed. “Either way, we planned badly.”

“Again,” Ava said, and fit her gloves under her sleeves, suit on, ready to go. 

“It’s not our strong suit,” Yelena agrees, falling into step with Ava as they shut the hotel’s door behind them. They make their way down to the lobby where Walker is also suited up, beret donned, waiting for them. Ava scrunches her nose at him. 

“And what are you doing here?” she asks without pause, strutting past him and out of the doors onto the streets of Paris. She pulls up the small tablet she keeps strapped to the back of her suit, looking at Alexei’s location– he’s three streets down from them in an alleyway. Yelena briefed them on the mission earlier after meeting with Val– some group– the team hadn’t exactly figured out who they were yet– had been moving around Europe selling old space tech and weaponry– while the group who was gathering and distributing the tech seemed to be well organized, the buyers were not. Most of the equipment was ending up in the hands of stupid civilians with too much money who wanted stupid toys to play with. In this case, Val had recently attended a cryptocurrency conference (she was currently trying to create some kind of AvengerCoin? Ava knew nearly nothing about all of that other than the fact that she thought Walker would be a perfect face for that, which gave her and Yelena plenty of new bullying material) and overheard some tech bros bragging about getting in good with ‘some new Euro group’ who were giving them space tech to play with. She’d been curious enough to talk them into having a few too many drinks and had Mel hack their phone to see where the meetup would be– they were actually dumb enough to put the details into their Google calendars. Amazing. 

“What am I doing here?” Walker repeats, sounding annoyed as hell. “I’m accompanying you and Yelena. Bucky and Alexei are super soldiers, they should be able to handle the dealers if anything goes wrong. If you and Yelena walk down the alley before Alexei and Bucky jump from the roof, you’re sitting ducks. They’re going to shoot you both in the face,” Walker drones on self-righteously.

“ No, Walker, actually–” Ava hisses, only to be cut off again.

“Yes, Starr, actually, if there’s someone here with some kind of freaky alien gun, you’re going to wish you were with the guy with the shield,” Walker lifts his little taco prop.

“Fucked-up, shitty, shield,” Ava spits out.

“It’s better than nothing, okay?,” John cocks his head.

“Shut up, both of you!” Yelena snaps, head cocked as she listens to her comms unit and groans, running forward. Ava and Walker spare each other a quick glare before running behind her.

“We’re so late, this is so fucked,” Yelena pants. She holds a hand over her ear again and shouts, “No, Bucky–” before all three of them skid to a stop in front of the alley. There, the two crypto bros (easily identifiable by their flashy, unfashionable outfits and horribly pale skin) stand against the back alley wall where Alexei had them each pinned under a heavy arm. In front of them, however, was a white van, one door open– two men in balaclavas hanging out the back, one had a weapon that seemed to have smoke hissing from it– it had been recently discharged on Bucky, who laid in front of the van, groaning– arm tossed to the side, against the wall. Ava met the eyes of the man holding the smoking weapon, noticing the way his flicked over to Bucky’s arm. Oh no.

Ava phases to the side of the alley, and snatches it up in her arms, ready to run forward to Bucky and help when she notices the second masked man lifting another weapon– definitely not from this planet, based on the hazy blue glow it emits. Ava begins to phase her way in front of the van over to where Alexei is, but she underestimates the speed of the alien technology in front of her. When it’s fired, the same eerie blue glow extends from the barrel, blasting into her quickly, hitting her square in the face, knocking her to the ground and choking the breath out of her, ending any chance of phasing soon. Ava gasps as her body begins to glow, unable to notice the scene unfolding in front of her.

Walker snaps into action quicker than Yelena’s ever seen him, furiously muttering something as Yelena notes the back doors of the van snapping shut. She scrambles over to Bucky, yanking him to the left side of the alley as the wheels of the van screech and smoke blows as the van squeals as quickly as possible out of the alley and into the street, thumping against the curb. She looks across to see Walker cradling Ava who seemed to be convulsing. She looks down at Bucky who’s wincing but slowly getting to his feet before scrambling over to the other two. 

“Ava?” Yelena asks, panicked. 

Ava’s not fully convulsing now, exactly. Just shivering very hard– the blue glow that had shone earlier was gone, she looked more like herself, but her jaw was still clenched tightly.

“What?” she choked out, eyes darting between Yelena’s and Walkers’-- and for a second at Walker’s arms that were wrapped around her waist, holding her on his lap. “Was?”

“Not sure,” Bucky said, kneeling beside them. “Different from what got me, though. He pointed the gun at the arm and it looked like some sparks blew from the barrel, and then boom– arm off. Must be some kind of electric transmitter, could be Earth-made. Not what got you though,” Bucky adds, shoving his arm back onto his shoulder, winding it around until it snapped into place. “That’s definitely space-grade technology.”

“What happened ?” Alexei asked, holding the two crypto bros by the scruff of their necks. 

“Plan got fucked,” Yelena said, matter-of-fact. “Again. Ava, are you okay, though?” Yelena looked up at Bucky. “We need to chase them– find out what it was that got her.”

Ava shook her head, working her jaw a bit, lifting a hand to rub at it before Walker’s beat her own, warm fingers rubbing very gently against her aching muscles.

“She’s so tense,” he said quietly, “What could that even have been?”

“I really… don’t know,” Ava worked out. “Didn’t feel like anything I’ve felt before.” she flexed her fingers back and forth and wiggled her toes. “I feel like I might be okay though? Maybe it’s just some kind of space age stun gun? If it is, it definitely did the job,” Ava wondered out loud. 

“Is that what you were buying?” Yelena turned to face the men in her father’s grip. They both shook their heads, eyes wide. 

“No, no. We were getting space tech, but not that,” one says quickly.

“Then what?” she asks.

“It’s– well, it’s basically a cooling system? We can mine more bitcoin, use less energy, get an edge over some of the other coins–” one began to explain before Yelena held a hand up to them. 

“Okay, enough, I do not care– did you know about any of the other weapons in their possession?” 

“No– it’s not an open market like that. They knew what we were looking for and reached us through some other channels,” he said.

“Other channels,” Yelena repeated in a monotone. Ava waved a hand– she’d really prefer to be spared the interrogation with those two. She sat up gingerly, Walker gently helping her get up, hands not quite on her as she lifted herself off him, but hovering close. 

“Lena, I need to lay down for a bit. Bring them into the hotel and call Val and we’ll see where to go from there,” Ava said. Yelena frowned– it was far from Ava to take charge in any way on a mission. She was much more used to being a stealth operative than helming anything the way… well, the way the rest of them felt so comfortable with– knowing that, Yelena gave her a break and nodded.

“Okay– dad, you and I can start questioning in my room? Bucky, you hop on a call with Val and Mel. Work on figuring out who our dealers were and where they went. Walker, you get Ava to the hospital. I want this checked out,” she said, narrowing her eyes at Ava, daring her to argue.

“Not sure what some French hospital’s gonna do about alien light beam weapons, but sure, that sounds like a brilliant way for us to spend our time,” Ava said dryly. “Walker can get on the call with Bucky. Explain to Val why this all went wrong and I’m in hospital.”

John scoffed, stepping away from her and crossing his arms.

“Oh, seriously?” he said.

“Yes. If you had followed the plan, maybe I wouldn’t have some strange alien tumor pregnancy growing within me,” she snipped, shoving Walker’s shoulder. The rest of the team had begun to disperse, which left Ava to march to the nearest hospital like a huffy toddler with John snipping at her the whole way.

“Plan sucked to begin with,” he said, “And alien tumor?”

“Sure. Who knows what happened to me now? Maybe I’m going to grow three heads!”

“Oh my god, I fuckin’ hope not. You’re annoying enough with just one.”

___

As predicted, there wasn’t much the hospital could do for tests of alien matter manipulation. Ava allowed the French doctors and nurses to run tests on her, but her body felt normal again already. Or as normal as it ever got. Her uncontrolled phasing was nowhere near as bad as it used to be, but in the thirteen months since becoming an Avenger, she’d gained more strength and stability than she had ever known. 

After a few hours of being a lab rat yet again, the doctors told her she could take a nap for a bit. Walker had been going back and forth between the doctors treating her, speaking to them in rapid French– she didn’t speak the language, but even she could tell his pronunciation was horrible– even if his general knowledge was pretty good. By the time she was drifting off, she had managed to convince herself that most of this was a waste of time– she seemed perfectly fine and she had no doubt the team would track down the dealers soon. 

___

When Ava woke up, it was dark outside, but she could see the glow of the Eiffel tower in the distance. She grinned. It was hard not to grin at such a beautiful skyline aglow. She looked to her opposite side to see Walker, still suited up, slouched uncomfortably beside her in a chair, sleeping. He looked so… well, not peaceful, with the way he was postured. But quiet. She rarely experienced a quiet Walker. It almost seemed like a shame to wake him and remind him that he was the reason she was tucked into a hospital bed when she could be on the streets of Paris, enjoying a glass of wine or a croissant. Almost.

She leaned forward and smacked Walker on the head, making him jolt awake, and simultaneously jerk an arm out to smack back at her.

“Ow! What the fuck, Walker, I’m already in hospital!”

“ In hospital, ” Walker mimicked in that horrible Marry Poppins accent he used when he made fun of her Briticisms. “Why would you hit me to start with? What the hell?”

“Because you’re the reason I’m in here–”

“Me? I’m not the one who didn’t account for breakfast to-go! I’m the one who showed up with a shield to stop you from getting shot in the face!”

“Yeah? And how did that go, Walker?”

“Maybe it went well! Maybe, if I’m lucky, that thing is a slow acting lobotomy agent that’ll get you to shut up for good!” he shouted at her, getting to his feet. He was angry enough now that Ava knew that if she kept pushing him, she’d have him huffing and twitching with fury the way he did when the serum in his veins got a little too hot. He was another failed science experiment just like her. Ava knew she was going too far- they tried to avoid pushing blame around when things went wrong on a mission. Ava huffed back at him, then phased across the room, crossing her arms and watching all of the medical equipment that had been attached to her body a second ago fall down onto the bed.

“Ava, that’s stupid ,” Walker threw his hands up. “How are we supposed to know if you’re getting better, if something’s wrong-,” he started. Ava phased in front of him and smacked him in the chest again. 

“This is a waste of our time,” she hissed. “This place isn’t going to figure out anything,” she continued to poke her finger against Walker as hard as she could, jabbing him around. He kept trying to grab at her shoulders and shove her back, but his hands kept drifting through her.

“S’not,” he said gruffly as Ava whacked him again. “Shut up, stop it–”

“Excuse me?” A doctor appeared at the door, staring at the two of them like the psychos they were. 

“Ma’am,” Walker nodded at her, falling into posture, ever the soldier. Ava resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“I have spoken with your boss? Valentina? She agrees for you to return to New York and continue the testing with your doctors there– you have a team already, no?” she asked.

“Yes,” Ava nodded, sitting at the edge of her bed, feeling like a bit like a guilty child. “I also have a team in San Francisco who are sort of… my specialists, so to speak,” she added. “I’m sure Val will fly them out to make sure whatever happened won’t interfere with my… abilities.”

“Oh, no,” the doctor shook her head. “Valentina told me about them– I offered for them to come straight here if they are the best in terms of knowing your baseline and abilities. She said they’re in South America? Off the grid, working on collecting something?” 

Ava groaned. She’d forgotten about the Pym’s trip to Brazil– they were always traveling and finding new supplies and materials that could be used as cures or treatments for all of the new people with uncontrolled abilities who’d been popping up around the world lately. 

“Anyways, we are discharging you. You can go to your hotel tonight and rest, and fly out in the morning. We’ll have a doctor join you for your flight in case anything goes wrong,” she assured Ava, who nodded, and rubbed at her eyes. The doctor turned to Walker with the paperwork, the two beginning to discuss it all in French. Ava grabbed her bag, making sure she had everything she needed, watching Walker sign some forms before more were passed over for her own signature.

___

Ava and Walker strolled down the street back to the hotel in silence. Ava tried to school herself into having a straight face, not to let herself look dazzled by the gorgeous city around them. 

“I, uh–” Walker cleared his throat.

“What. What now?” Ava spun to face him as they reached the front door of the hotel.

“I just–” he stuck his hand in his pocket and handed her a crumpled waxy paper bag. Ava opened it and saw a fairly smooshed croissant. “Grabbed this for you. You’ve barely eaten today,” he said.

“How long has it been sitting in your pants,” she questioned.

“A while.”

Ava stared at him for a moment before ripping off a piece and tearing it into her mouth. It was buttery and delicious. She sucked a stay flake off her thumb.

“It’s very good,” she said coldly.

“It is from Paris,” he said.

“They tend to be good here.”

“They do.”

Ava couldn’t help the way the side of her lips curled into a smile, but she looked down, refusing to share it fully with Walker. 

“Goodnight John,” she said, walking in, holding the door for him. 

“See you in the morning, Aves– have Lena wake me if you need me tonight,” he yawned, hand reaching out and tugging on the loose braid her hair was swept up in before heading for the stairs.

Ava walked over to the elevator bay, and pulled out her phone, idly scrolling through notifications. The elevator pinged and she stepped inside, lifting her phone again to check the time. 11:59– later than she thought. She’d slept for a while at the hospital, huh? Well, she’d still sleep well when she got into bed– she could feel how tired she was in her bones, they almost ached– she’d take a hot shower, throw on pajamas, and then climb into—----------

_____

Ava wakes up to a loud clatter, groaning and tossing an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirps brightly. Another loud noise as the curtains are yanked open by her annoyingly cheerful roommate for this particular mission. “We’ve got to go, though– Alexei just called, the buyers are showing up an hour earlier than planned.”

Chapter Text

Ava woke up to a loud clatter, as she groaned and tossed an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirped brightly. Another loud noise as the curtains were yanked open by her annoyingly cheerful roommate. “We’ve got to go, though– Alexei just called, and the buyers are showing up an hour earlier than planned.”

Ava huffed, digging her bony wrists into the sockets of her eyes. She felt a headache blooming.

“Wait–” she began.

“No! No time for waiting, the mission is already off-schedule. Let’s move,” Yelena said, bouncing around the room as Ava slowly shuffled her way up out of the comforter, and sized her up. 

She was moving around, grabbing her favored guns and attaching them to her waistband, the same way she did yesterday morning. Ava paused again, gripping her head and massaging her temples. She felt like she had taken drugs. What was going on?

“When did I even get in last night?” she muttered, slowly getting out of bed, and wondering where she’d left her suit. It was hung over the chair in the corner of the room, same as yesterday.

“What?” Yelena asked. She had finished getting ready, and grabbed Ava’s suit and brought it over to her. Ava began putting it on. “We got in last night together, remember? I got us McDonald’s and you yelled at me for getting that in Paris, of all places?” Yelena laughed at the memory. “You can have your fancy food tonight when we’ve wrapped the mission, don’t worry. Why don’t you remember? Pop open the minibar while I was asleep?” Yelena gave her a bit of a side eye.

“No!” Ava said defensively. “No… I just… feel really ill, or something? I don’t know, maybe it’s just… deja vu?” 

“Happens,” Yelena shrugged. “Anyways, let’s go. Alexei told me that they’ve got to-go cups, we’re in a rush now,” she said, moving towards the door as Ava pushed her gloves under her sleeves. Ava paused at the door.

“Wait, what?”

“Ava, I love you so very much but we are already out of time, ” Yelena hissed, grabbing her wrist and yanking her out of the room, dragging her to the elevator bay.

“No– no, Yelena, something’s wrong,” Ava said, skidding to a stop. “This…” and she paused again. Everything about this morning was making her nauseous. She leaned against the wall as Yelena’s eyes opened wider in fear. “Lena… why does this all feel like it happened yesterday?”

“Ava… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Yelena began cautiously. “But if you can follow along, and help us capture these targets quickly, after we can bring you to the doctor. Who knows, maybe you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?” The elevator pinged, door opening for the two as they stepped inside. The door closed quickly but the elevator descended slowly.

“Besides, maybe it’s a French thing? Deja vu?” Yelena joked weakly, seeing Ava’s distress level refusing to lower. The door pinged open again.

“Lena, if John is down here–”

“No, Ava, remember, he’s with–” as Yelena and Ava stepped into the lobby, John waited across from them, clad in his beret. Ava stopped in her tracks, looking at Yelena pointedly.

“Ava– is it really surprising for Walker to divert mission plans because he’s worried about you?” Yelena asked quietly, hoping the noise of the lobby would cover the statement  up enough from Walker’s enhanced hearing abilities. She didn’t need him to shift his focus from the purchase to Ava. Ava frowned at her for a moment. Walker had stopped her from barging into god knows how many missions alone. It really wasn’t that out of character for him. Just… annoying. 

Ava huffed a bit– she wished she could tell Yelena to slow down or fuck off. This was all wrong, even in her sleepiest, most headache-plagued state, she knew that. She had zero memory of returning to the hotel last night. Zero memory outside of standing in the elevator, aching for a shower. Then this morning– it was the same as before. She was certain. She needed to talk to John, ask if any of the doctors had sent him updates on her condition. If the jet was ready to get her back to the doctor in the tower– she strode forward, staring him right in his bright blue eyes. She saw the corner of his mouth twitch when she turned her focus off Lena and started marching towards him with purpose.

“Aves,” he hummed at her, walking in step towards the door.

“Quinjet ready?” she asked, walking forward, only hesitating when he missed a step.

“Huh?”

“What?” she asked, turning towards him as Yelena caught up.

“No– it’s just,” he looked at Yelena, confused for a second before looking back at Ava. “They should be a few streets away, right? Or did the plans change again?” Walker asked.

“You’re the only change, thank you very much,” Yelena said. “Supposed to be on the roof in the alley with Bucky and–”

“Well, I saw a flaw there, what can I say? I’m not letting you two walk in defenseless. They could be super soldiers, they–”

“Everyone shut up,” Ava shouted, bringing her hands to her ears. A ringing sound had begun, and she stumbled a step backwards against the hotel’s wall. Ava and John looked at each other and back at her.

“This is so… wrong,” Ava said, sinking into a crouch, squeezing her eyes shut. She was reeling–her entire body felt like the earth was shifting beneath her. John stared at Yelena for a long second as Ava began to hyperventilate. Yelena’s hand went to the comms unit in her ear, eyes widening in fear. John’s gaze flicked quickly between the two before shoving the taco shield into Yelena’s hands. She froze with the weight of it in her grip. John reached a hand out to her, hefting it up to her full height, and letting her feel the weight steady in her hands. 

“You sure?” she asked him, huffing her blonde hair out of her eyes, eyebrows raised. 

“Go,” John said, moving over to Ava with a quick second glance at Yelena, his shield in hand. “Now,” he urged. Yelena needed no further instruction. 

He moved to the wall, crouching and wrapping an arm around Ava’s waist, pulling her up as high as she could stand– he still crouched slightly to meet her eyes, holding her against the wall, keeping her steady.

“Ava, what’s happening?” he said, watching her eyes flutter in horror.

“Pop your comms in now,” she said, hands scrambling at his pocket where she knew he kept them. He shoved his hands past hers and popped it into his ear and Ava overheard its tinny sounds.

“Tell Yelena that they’re going to blast Bucky’s arm off– they’ve got another space weapon– they’ll fire it at her, it’s quick–”

“Lena, they’ve got a fast weapon, Bucky’s arm’s down–”

“She’s going to need to be quick, please, they’re in a van that’s behind him, there’s two of them in the boot,” Ava panted.

“Two men in the back, act quickly–” John turned to Ava, taking his finger off the button. “Do they have a lethal weapon ready to fire at her?”

“No–”

John put his finger back on the comms to let Lena know to act accordingly before Ava gripped his wrist.

“But it’s fucking– dangerous– Lena can’t– ” Ava’s voice broke. 

“Fire– right away. Act now,” John ordered. Ava and John could both hear the sound of the explosion from the three blocks over. They looked at each other for a moment before running over to meet their team.

____

Yelena had ended up throwing a grenade at the truck in a moment of sheer panic as she rounded the corner and saw the bright blue weapon pointed at her. Bucky had some gnarly burns, but nothing that wouldn’t heal up in a week, and Alexei had successfully shielded himself and the crypto bros behind a dumpster in time. He was familiar with Yelena’s “blow shit up and get the fuck out” tactics at this point. All things said, not a bad mission. Sure, they hadn’t gotten to the root cause of things but that was a bit of a recurring theme with their missions over the past few months. It was mostly random causes Val had become caught up on rather than strategic missions to better the world.

The rest of the team walked back over to the hotel, clapping each other on the back as Ava leaned back against the wall of the alley, watching everyone wrap their interviews with Interpol. It was all wrong. The back of her throat tasted like bile. The weapons were gone– everything in the van was destroyed. 

No, she hadn’t been shot today. But what did that even mean right now? 

“Coming?” Walker’s shadow slid over her as he approached.

“Sure, Walker,” Ava replied. “Just… taking it all in.”

“Pretty standard mission,” he said cautiously, looking Ava over. “Not sure what went down this morning, but there’s no reason you can’t relax now,” he said. He stood next to her, leaning against the wall, watching the police with her. He let his shoulder knock hers. “It’s okay.”

“It… doesn’t feel like it,” Ava said, hating the way her voice crackled at the end. She refused to look up, look him in the eye. “God, John, I really have the feeling that something bad has happened.”

“Ava– what?” John turned himself against the wall to look at her.

____

 In the past thirteen months, although she’s loath to say it– John Walker has found a way to understand her better than anyone on the earth yet so far. She loves the Pyms, and she loves Bill Foster as a father and caretaker. She loves Yelena like the sister she’s never had and maybe she even has a second father in Alexei. Bucky treats her like a fragile antique that he treasures– he sees a bit of himself in her and works hard to make sure she never has to experience the same levels of horror he was subjected to. Bob is maybe one of the best friends she has ever known– most of the happiest hours of her days are spent doing foolish, childish things they both would have never dreamed of doing growing up together. Anything from watching a Ghibli movie in theaters to bungee jumping- Bob's happy to satisfy all of her whims. 

But John Walker has become something else over these past few months. He’s the person who knows her every move when they spar in the gym. He cooks her favorite meals when she gets quieter than normal. He does stupid manly shit that she just barely contains herself from making fun of him for– like the casual way he inserts himself onto the side of the road facing traffic and scans the streets wherever they walk. He requests movies he knows are her favorites and claims that they’re just on his list that he’s been meaning to catch up on during every movie night when he has the choice.

 Once or twice they’ve fallen asleep against each other in the quinjet twin bunks after particularly bad missions. Ava justified it by the fact that Yelena and Bob had taken to napping together on the couch every now and then when they were exhausted after movie nights. (She fully ignored the fact that it was basically an open secret that Lena and Bob were sleeping together at this point– no one had admitted to anything in front of her, and they hadn’t been outright caught so far. Forget the fact that this was a house full of assassins and super soldiers who were more than capable of putting two and two together. If they could do that without anyone calling them out, she could spoon Walker on a flight back home after getting coated in blood after things went wrong in Morocco. She said the same thing after the mission in Lisbon too. If someone wanted to contest what was happening with her and John whatever was going on with Bob and Yelena was happening in plain sight without question, she’d gut them.)

They had also played a married couple for a mission for Val in Hong Kong which was a topic they avoided discussing altogether.

___

So, naturally, Ava decides that John is not going to be the first person she clues into this whole potential time loop situation. 

“I’m sorry,” she shook her head at the ground. “I think I must’ve ate something bad.”

“You did have McDonald’s for dinner,” John agreed.

“I didn’t want it,” Ava snapped back. He chuckled.

“Still… that was a lot,” he said in a voice she recognized as his signature “trying to be so very, very chill” voice… one she and Yelena heard in very reigned-in tones on their wearier missions. 

“I know,” she admitted, rubbing her brow. “Sorry for keeping you back there with me,” she said.

“Thanks for keeping me from some sporting some more third degree burn scars, I’m rough enough as is,” he said, walking away from the scene with her, heading towards the hotel.

“Fuck off, Captain America. We all know you look fantastic,” Ava huffed without a second thought. Then her brain whirred for a moment– staring dead ahead of her as her legs slowly marched forward. Why on earth would she say that out loud?

“...What?”

“I– I’m,”

“Ava.”

“J–Fuck off,” she huffed, marching her legs as fast as they could, hotel rapidly approaching, as if they could hope to keep up with his strides. In a mood like this. 

“I’m gonna need you to–”

“NEVER– never gonna happen,” she hissed, hotel doors drawing near. She spun around and shoved at his chest. He huffed, flushed bright pink with laughter, mouth open and smiling at her. He grabbed her wrists, sliding down her arms. 

“You really are sick,” he said, pulling her into his chest. 

And fuck if the genuine panic that was gutting her innards like barbed wire didn’t ease up for a moment as his arms wrapped around her tightly, lips brushing the hair above her ear. She felt for a second like she was bungee jumping with Bob again. Saying something like that  out loud felt like dropping off a barrier she would’ve never approached if she hadn’t felt like she was walking through this entire day stoned. She was usually much better about shoving whatever... feelings she had about John's appearance into a box and shoving that box into the darkest corners of her mind.

“John, please, let me go–”

“Only because you ask so sweetly,” he huffed, his breath heavy in her ear. She resisted the urge to curl up against him. He would only distract the shit out of her. She knew he was more than capable of derailing her for hours if she'd let him.

“John don’t make me knee you,” Ava hissed, jerking her knee ever so slightly towards his pelvis. 

He dropped her like a scalding plate. 

“Oh fuck no, not again,” his knee jerked back at her like he barely contained himself from kicking her away. 

“Just let me go. I need to talk to Yelena– it’s just– a girl chat thing, okay?” she said, coyly avoiding his gaze and fluttering her lashes. He immediately turned pink.

Such a pretty boy , she thought for a moment. Swallowed the thought whole, buried it. 

And, fuck it , again, she fluttered her fingers one last time over his warm cheeks. She loved the moles scattered across them. It seems like I’ll have all the time in the world to map them out, she thought. She stepped away and he huffed. Loudly. 

She turned her back to him and walked to Yelena who yanked her back into the elevator bay by the wrist, doors opening quickly, the two of them stepping inside and Ava staring across at John, slightly slack jawed as the doors closed behind them.

“Something’s… wrong. With you two,” Yelena said, sizing Ava up. Ava didn’t bother to resist, she just nodded.

“Debrief in the room?” Yelena asked.

Ava nodded again.

______

Two and a half hours later, Ava has run everything down to Yelena. Yelena is furious with herself for blowing up the truck, but Ava reassures her that if this is truly a time loop scenario, it won’t matter by tomorrow morning. Yelena still seems confused about the concept of time loops in general, so Ava decides to throw on Palm Springs, knowing Yelena’s a sucker for a rom-com, hoping to clue her in. 

Ava’s absolutely tearing into a bag of salt and vinegar chips, finally feeling like some energy is coming back to her, feeling somewhat normal again after being able to explain it all out loud. She's sitting in a pair of pink boxers and an oversized mini-golf charity invitational t-shirt she received after her (sensational, in her opinion) win in Buenos Aires when a knock sounds on the door. Yelena is locked into the film– a twist that Ava was excited to see her reaction to was playing out and she scowled, waving Ava away to shut off the noise. Ava made her way to the door, tugging it open with the padlock still in to see John, freshly showered, eyebrow raised. She shut it again, in his face, firmly, before unlocking it and sliding out, key in hand. He checked her out brazenly.

“John, really?”

“You’re looking at my hair,” he counters.

“It’s just… darker than normal. And doesn’t smell like sweat it usually does on our missions,” Ava says, leaning against the railing in front of their hallway. It looked down into the lobby downstairs, which John leaned into and faced down with her. He held a hand against his mouth. 

“It’s not that I didn't like it,” John said, removing his hand for a moment.. Ava turned to face him, eyebrows raised. He continued to look downstairs. “The… compliment. It’s that I didn't… get the timing?”

“Maybe I’m feeling reckless today,” Ava fired off.

“Maybe you are,” he countered. “Are you gonna tell me why?” he asked.

She looked at him for a long moment. She enjoyed the weight of his gaze on her.

“No,” she decided.

“Okay,” he said, nodding forward. 

“I think I’m gonna call Bob,” she said, looking past his gaze, watching people milling around the lobby. 

“He’ll be awake,” Walker agrees. He knows Bob’s a stabilizing source for her. If there’s something going on, that’s the best person for her to touch base with. Her tangles his fingers with hers– gives them a quick squeeze and drops them. He smiles awkwardly before heading off inside. 

____

She relays it all to Bob fairly quickly.

“Fuck, Ava, fuck,” he says, and she sees a gold shimmer glitter off the edges of his eyes. 

“Bob, I need you to stop right now. I have John, Alexei, Bucky, Yel–”

“Ava, no, ” he shimmers again, eyes turning bright gold, black, flickering back. 

“Bob!” she yells– feeling bad momentarily before he flickers back to himself, sleeves scrunched up at his wrist, pulled to his mouth.

“Tonight all I need from you is to remember what I’m telling you. Tomorrow I’ll check in with you and if you don’t remember, then we’ll start working on a time loop exit plan. For now, let’s hope it’s just a backfire from the weapon, keeping me off my feet for a bit– okay?” she said, feeling reassured by the bullshit she's passing along to Bob. He nodded warily. 

“Great– I’ll check in with you before midnight, okay?” she said. His brow eased up a bit. 

“Okay, Ava.”

___

It’s a little less than five from midnight. It’s all worked out well enough for Ava tonight. She figures this is as well as a test pilot day in a time loop can go. June Eighth. A Sunday. No one’s died, been injured or emotionally tarnished. Friendships have remained intact. The very few people she’s cued in understand that this is her “first day” or the beginning of a potential ongoing mental breakdown and are prepared to step in accordingly to get her the help she needs. It’s all very reassuring. 

Reassuring enough that she's comfortable meeting the group downstairs in the hotel's bar- it's a speakeasy style place, dimly lit, and buzzing with people dressed in expensive clothing and heavy perfume, and even if Ava feels a bit out of place, she's glad to have a drink. Sitting at a small table, she feels settled enough to gulp down the champagne glass in her hand. She flagged the waiter for another, and drank it as quickly as the first. Bucky sit beside her, caught up in a conversation with Alexei that Ava's ignoring. He raises his eyebrows a bit at her, but continues to nod at Alexei.

Her eyes are a bit glazed as they lazily scan the room, snagging on John, of course , John. He’s handsome. If a bit sweaty… undone. His tie is loose, some hair sticking to his forehead, and spiked over like he’s run his hand through his bright blond streaks. Sweat beads his forehead, and his hands skim over it. She tries to keep from actively sighing over the sight of him. 

After a long moment of drinking it in, she realizes somewhat hazily that he’s talking quite animatedly to Yelena. 

Yelena.

Who’s palm is out flat, and another hand is striking into it repeatedly, militantly. She sees her name on her lips, smacked out. John’s eyes widening– hands fucking his gorgeous blond hair all up, rucking it to the sky, he turns around, eyes snagging at hers immediately, lips falling open.

Ava glances down at the screen of her phone– John looks up at the clock on the wall above Ava– it’s 11:59 P.M.

John tries to run straight across the bar- tables are toppling over, glasses smashing, blood dripping from a cut on his neck as he upends a waiter holding a tray of fancy cocktails on his ass. She gasps, and tries to run to him, tripping and skidding as she bumps into someone trying to escape the chaos they're creating in the bar. It's all so stupid. She flickers back and forth a bit before phasing herself right to his side. 

Her fingers reach across from his, and she looks straight in his eyes with more panic than he’s seen in his life and she gasps, “John,” as her fingertips pass through his and her figure vanishes entirely before him. 

____

Ava woke up to a loud clatter, as she groaned and tossed an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirped brightly. Another loud noise as the curtains were yanked open by her annoyingly cheerful roommate. “We’ve got to go, though– Alexei just called, the buyers are showing up an hour earlier than planned.”

Chapter Text

Ava woke up to a loud clatter, as she groaned and tossed an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirped brightly. Another loud noise as the curtains were yanked open by her annoyingly cheerful roommate. “We’ve got to go, though– Alexei just called, the buyers are showing up an hour earlier than planned.”

It really was annoying– waking up in a time loop where she didn’t even get to have a moment to collect her thoughts and plan for the day. Ava sat up quickly, looking over at Yelena as she clipped weapons to her belt. Ava shot to her feet, marching over to her suit, dressing quickly and silently.

“Sleep badly?” Yelena asked her with a sideways glance.

“You could say that,” Ava muttered as she pulled her gloves under her sleeves, marching towards the door. 

“Coming?” Ava called.

“Yeah, jeez, just– give me a minute,” Yelena hopped after her, swiping her comms unit off the bedside table.

Ava was silent in the elevator down as Yelena fiddled with the comms. She wasn’t left with a lot of room here to make a decision, but maybe if the blast hit her again it would have the reverse effect? Stick her back into her normal timeline? The doors pinged open and Walker stood across from them in the lobby. 

“Oh come on Walker, could you actually try following one of my plans for once–” Yelena began behind her as they walked towards John. Ava kept marching past him as Yelena berated him. 

So she’d let herself get zapped again. She huffed, remembering the way the blast seized through her body. The way her muscles contracted and the way she shook and trembled. Not fun, but maybe if she let it happen again just this once, she’d be through with this. Worth a shot , she figured. She paused outside as Yelena and Walker caught up. Afterwards when she’s in hospital with Walker she can brainstorm some other ideas if that doesn’t work out. Best to have plans in advance when Yelena began the morning alongside her with a mission to go to. 

If this didn’t work, she’d have to find a way to duck out of that somehow. A problem for another time– she thought, as her brain caught up with her and she remembered that they needed to arrive at the alley a minute or two late for the blast to hit her at the right time– she, Walker and Yelena were arriving early– maybe they’d catch the dealers– and then she could question them, but she wouldn’t get hit with the blast. She decided to stick with her original plan, grabbing Walker’s wrist and stopping him in his tracks. He turned to her, confused, and Yelena whirled around.

“Something wrong?” Walker asked. Ava bit her lip and nodded. 

“I– I just…” Ava let herself flicker a bit, hand slipping through his. “Feel a little unstable,” she lied. Walker’s face softened, turning to Yelena. 

“Maybe Ava could sit this out?” he asked. 

“No,” Ava said. “I just need a– a moment.” She raised a hand to her forehead and pretended to be woozy, and leaned against the wall, eyes flicking up towards a clock on the nearby church tower. Just another moment. She flickered a bit more before allowing her form to stabilize again, as Yelena’s hand went to her comms unit, and she jerked her head at the two of them. 

“Let’s go, we’re late,” she panted as the three of them ran across the block over to the alley. Ava steeled herself as they reached the corner, knowing what she had to do, gritting her teeth. 

It was all the same. Alexei held the buyers against the wall, the van with two masked men holding weapons– Bucky’s arm ejected across the alley from him, and Ava phased over to it, cradling the arm to her chest like a stuffed animal as the blast rocked her again.

True to form, it was just as painful as the first time– blue haze surrounding her body, muscles locked, shoulders convulsing, jaw shut. The only thing making it all halfway tolerable is the way John ran to her and held her against his chest. She doesn’t participate in the conversation about what went wrong this time around– as everyone asks each other what happened she simply shuts her eyes and leans against John as his fingers rub against her jaw, trying to ease the tension out of her. 

“Ava, you still awake?” he asks her quietly as Yelena begins ordering Alexei and Bucky around.

“John Walker, you’re taking Ava to the hospital to be checked out– no arguing!” Yelena shouts over to them. 

“Yeah, just… tired,” she says as the tension begins to ease. She begins to stir in his arms, getting ready to get up and walk over to the hospital with him. He hovers as she gets up, hands ready to help if she needs it. She swats them away, and doesn’t bother wasting time arguing with him on the way there.

____

She’s been in there for a couple of hours now, quietly allowing herself to be poked and prodded as John talks with the nurses and doctors in French, eyebrows scrunched together. He notices her staring at him blankly and smiles before frowning when Ava doesn’t return the grin. He walks up to her.

“Are you feeling off? Because if something’s wrong, you’ve gotta let me know– I need to tell the doctors so we can figure out what’s hit you,” John says, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“No– I mean… nothing medically,” Ava said, doing her best to assure him. “Could you do me a favor, though?” 

“What’s up?”

“Get me a notebook? I’m just… thinking through some things,” she asked. 

“Can do,” he replied, and she finally returned his smile. After a few minutes down in the gift shop, he returned with a notebook and pen. 

“Val wants me on the call for the debrief,” Walker said, holding up his phone. “Gonna sit outside to take that, but just– let me know if you need anything. Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ava said, waving her hand at him as she flipped the notebook open and propped herself up in bed, pen already scribbling across the pages.

Ava knew the notebook wouldn’t appear next to her in the morning if she was stuck in the loop but it was helpful to write down the logistics to organize her thoughts.

If this didn’t work she had a few ideas:

1. Arrive early– avoid the blast, detain the dealers and determine what the tech is– from there see if they could find a way to fix this
2. Consult with some kind of experts in the field– she’d seen enough movies to know that you had to contact some old Ivy League professors and try to work out the science behind it all
3. Get Val involved. As awful as asking her for help would be, the last thing she’d want would be to lose an asset, and she did had an ungodly amount of money– surely, she could use that to find some solution?
4. See if there’s some weird moral lesson to be learned from the day? Right a wrong, find true love, solve some riddle? 
5. Kill herself? Maybe it’d break the loop?

It was a good enough place to start. She had begun thinking through ideas to potentially get out of the mission for the day. She could continue to fake a loss of control with her phasing– the last thing Yelena would do is bring a liability along on a mission. She just worried about what could happen to the team without her there– but if there were no long term consequences…

Ava yawned, looking out her window as the sun set. If she had to be stuck somewhere at least it was beautiful here. She stretched out in the bed, looking over to the side to see John through the room’s glass wall. He was slouched in a chair holding his phone up with a very familiar annoyed expression. Something in her chest tightened. She met his glance through the wall and he winked at her. 

A nurse entered the room as she smiled politely at her and began adjusting some of the equipment attached to her. All of a sudden Ava felt exhausted and allowed herself to fall asleep, letting the medicine surge through her veins.

____

“Get up,” Ava awoke to her shoulders being grabbed roughly. John was looming over her, frowning.

Ava felt groggy, and rubbed at her eyes.

“Did they give me medications?” she slurred. 

“I told them to help you get some sleep. You got more than enough. Get up,” John huffed. Ava slowly slid her way up into a sitting position, frowning at him. 

“What time is it?” she yawned.

“It is past eleven thirty , Ava,” he hissed at her– then, held up her new notebook. She tried to grab it from his hands, but he snatched it away too quickly. 

“A time loop,” John growled at her incredulously. 

“Hey– I didn’t give you permission to read–”

“And you didn’t even tell me? ”

“It’s only the second day, I’m trying to figure it out–”

“Have you even learned anything over the past thirteen months? Anything at all? Do you get that we’re a team ,” John scooted closer to her.

“Of course we are, but we aren’t all in this together now are we? It’s just me! Again!” Ava shouted back. John quieted at that. 

“... So, was it the gun, then? That did this?” he asked.

“Think so. Haven’t been able to figure out much yet,” Ava admitted.

“And you weren’t going to clue me in?” John looked down at the bedsheets.

“Not this time, no,” Ava said. “My plan today was just to get shot again– see if it has the reverse effect?”

“Makes as much sense as anything, I guess,” John nodded at her. They were both quiet for a moment. “I hope it works,” he added.

“Me too,” Ava said. “Not sure what you thought of my plans there,” she tapped the notebook. “But I’ve got a few ideas I can work through if this doesn’t stick.”

“I think any plan that doesn’t involve immediately telling me and trying to work something out is stupid,” John said, cocky as ever. Ava rolled her eyes at him. 

“Not happening,” she began.

“No– happening. Stop. Just– let me help you,” John ran a hand through his hair, sticking it up. “Tomorrow morning, meet me in the lobby early and we can work something out. Round up the dealers early, detain and question them,” he said. “Figure out what the weapon is, how to use it in reverse,” he nodded at her. “Might take a couple of tries if things get messed up, but I feel like we could get this wrapped up in a few days.”

It felt a little too optimistic for Ava but she was too tired to pick a fight.

“Most annoying part is Yelena waking me up every morning– I don’t even get a chance to start the day without the mission going off-course,” Ava scooted to the side of her hospital bed, silently making room for John to slide in next to her. He moved in and lazily threw an arm around her shoulders. Ava leaned her head against it, enjoying the weight of it around her. She looked up at him as he stared back down at her. She couldn’t resist fluttering her lashes at him a bit. He bit his lip.

“Gonna flirt shamelessly with me through this, huh? No consequences and all that?” he asked. 

“I might,” she admitted.

“That’s fun,” John yawned, settling against her. He looked at the clock– they still had some more time before midnight. “We’ll figure this out,” he said. She nodded determinedly. He curled his arm around her tighter, and shook his head a bit. “No… us…,” he clarified. “When this is over. You and I can figure it out,” he said. It was the most he had ever verbally acknowledged whatever was growing between them for months now. Ava settled into his arms. 

“Get a little sleep now,” John asked. With the drugs in her system, it was easy for Ava to obey–not to mention the way her body had already relaxed when he slid his way into the bed against her.

“See you in the morning, honey,” he murmured.

_________

Ava woke up to a loud clatter, as she groaned and tossed an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirped brightly. Another loud noise as the curtains were yanked open by her annoyingly cheerful roommate. “We’ve got to go, though– Alexei just called, the buyers are showing up an hour earlier than planned.”

Ava jolted from the bed, and paused to look at Yelena for a moment awkwardly.

“Sorry,” she said before phasing out of the room into the hotel lobby. She attracted a few glances– she looked down, forgetting the wispy black silk slip she was sleeping in. At least I look good in it , she thought. Across the way, John was fiddling on his phone. 

She strutted up to him, grabbing him by the arm, as he jerked up, eyes widening as he took in her appearance and yelped “Hey!” Ava dragged him across the lobby to a bathroom, shoved him inside and locked the door behind her. She whirled around, facing him– she didn’t have the time to take in his flushed, panicked expression. Oh my god , she thought for a moment, seeing his wide eyes and the way he stepped to the side to slightly adjust his pants. He thought I was dragging him in here to have my way with him or something. She stifled a laugh before pointing at him. 

“I’m going to get right into it because we don’t have time– I’m stuck in a time loop,” Ava said. 

“Wait– what ?” John said as his jaw dropped and face twisted sourly.

“I! Am! In! A! Time! Loop!” she barked out at him, clapping her hands. “And you’re the moron who told me to grab you first thing in the morning so you could help me sort it out! Now, help! The mission’s already gone sideways– we made a plan last night– yesterday– oh, whatever the fuck– anyway, we’re leaving now , and you’re grabbing the dealers so we can interrogate them. They’ve got serious weaponry– something electronic that’s knocked Bucky’s arm out his socket– and something that did this to me, so let’s move,” Ava said, stepping back and taking in Walker’s expression of shock.

“I told you to do this?” he repeated stupidly.

“ Yes , Walker, and there’s no time–” Ava was interrupted as pounding began on the door.

“What the fuck , Ava!” Yelena yelled from the other side. 

“Yelena– a minute–”

“We do not have–”

“I don’t believe you,” Walker crossed his arms against his chest. Ava whirled around, nostrils flaring. 

“Walker–”

“Ava–” Yelena pounded the door again. “If you do not open in ten seconds I am shooting the lock!”

“This is just like that time when you told me my protein power came in from Amazon, but it didn’t – and then I had to carry all of your packages up after you went online shopping,” John started droning, and Ava yelled in frustration, hands yanking at her own hair.

“How is that even remotely similar–”

“Ava!” Yelena yelled. 

“Just give me a sec–” Ava began as a gunshot fired off and she yelped, jumping aside as a bullet tore through the door just in time to pass through Walker’s stomach. 

“Oh… oh fuck,” he said, hands dropping to the wound, door opening as he slid to the ground. 

“Yelena!” Ava shouted, but Yelena’s eyes were wide with horror, and she shoved her friend as she came in. Ava’s hands flew up in the air, unsure whether to feel furious, annoyed or horrified by the scene unfolding in front of her.

“What the– John, fuck, John!” Yelena looked furiously at Ava, as she slid to the ground, holding her hands tightly over John’s wound as he panted on the ground, blood pumping out so quickly.

“I am sorry, John, no, no– I- I thought it was a bigger bathroom, I did not think that you were beside the door,” she rushed to explain to him, as his breathing became shallow. He nodded once at her. The look she gave Ava was one that felt murderous.

“John, John– it’s okay,” Yelena redirected her attention down to him, and held his hand as blood began to trickle out the corner of his mouth. 

“Got me good,” he said to her. He looked up at Ava, his other hand twitching towards her. She stood there, staring down at him bleeding out with her arms crossed. He looked so hurt as she was frowning down at him that she rolled her eyes, and crouched down, grabbing his other hand. 

“You’re… mad at me?” John asked her.

“Kinda!” Ava said. Yelena’s head twisted towards her, lip curled in a snarl. “Again– I told you – this was your whole plan, and now you’re going to die! This is what I get for following your advice”

He blinked at her a few times, nodding and then choking out, “Believe you now,” before his breath left him. Ava dropped his hand, stepping back, stifling a gag climbing up her throat when she looked down at his limp body and blood soaked across the bathroom tiles. She couldn’t deal with this right now. Her eyes were watering and a sob choked its way out of her throat. She rubbed her hands against her silk slip, blood everywhere before grabbing a gun off the back of Yelena’s holster, holding it to her temple and firing before Yelena could even begin to grab it back.

___

Ava woke up to a loud clatter, as she groaned and tossed an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirped brightly. Another loud noise as the curtains were yanked open by her annoyingly cheerful roommate. “We’ve got to go, though– Alexei just called, the buyers are showing up an hour earlier than planned.”

So, killing herself had been her last and final plan initially, but it turns out that that didn’t work either. Oh well. 

Ava decides to spend this day normally– follow the plan, get shot, go to the hospital. Ask John for a notebook, map out her plans again, fall asleep. It’s easier for John to believe her if he finds out himself, as opposed to telling him. It’s her own damn fault for playing so many pranks on him. When she gets out of this she’s going to have to plan some bullshit team bonding day complete with trust falls. 

“I need you to tell me something nobody else knows about you,” Ava says to him, after he blows up on her after reading the notebook. 

“You’ve lived with me for more than a year now. I’m not sure that there’s anything you don’t already know,” he says evasively.

“John,” she chides. He huffs a bit before shrugging and thinking.

“I have a mole on the bottom of my foot,” he says. 

“Not good enough,” Ava says.

“Why not!” 

“You have a lot of moles. Like, where don’t you have them, honestly?” she pointed at him quickly, adding, “Don’t answer that,” as he smirked.

“Okay… uh, this will work…” he swallowed, unable to look her in the eye. “Tell me you know about Mike,” he said. 

“Mike?” Ava asked softly.

“Yeah…” John scratched the back of his neck, making his dog tags jangle. “My brother.”

“You’ve never told me you have a brother,” Ava said cautiously.

“Because I don’t. Anymore,” John said. “He was a helicopter pilot. I enlisted because of him. After he…”

“Died?” Ava asked.

“Yeah,” John said shortly. And this is… a lot. Ava can hardly believe that he’s been carrying this, this on top of all of the other things he’s already them about– Olivia, his son, Lemarr– it’s all so much. The amount of pain he’s been carrying in silence makes her feel a bit sick. But if anyone can understand loss, it’s their team. Her chest aches thinking about how even after everything they’ve gone through, he’s continuing to bottle himself up. She wants to talk to him more– learn about Mike, tell him that he can share anything with her, that he’s safe with her– but there isn’t time. 

“I don’t want to upset you…” she said. “I don’t want you to– get mad at me for–” 

“I won’t,” he said quickly, shaking his head at her. “I won’t, I promise. I’ll know that I trusted you,” he said, taking her hand– it felt so small in between his. She held tight, hoping he was right as the day reset.

____
Ava woke up to a loud clatter, as she groaned and tossed an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirped brightly. Another loud noise as the curtains were yanked open by her annoyingly cheerful roommate. “We’ve got to go, though– Alexei just called, the buyers are showing up an hour earlier than planned.”

Ava apologized to Yelena as she darted across the room and grabbed both of her guns. Yelena’s mouth dropped– the whole team knew better than to ever touch her weapons without permission by now. Ava quickly phased downstairs, hearded a shocked Walker into the bathroom and locked the door behind them, tossing the guns onto the sink. 

She walked up to John, grabbing him by the shoulders. 

“John Walker. I am not fucking with you in any way, shape or form right now– I need your help. Badly. And I need you to believe me. Promise you’ll believe me, John, because I–” her voice cracked a bit. It was all a bit stressful. She really could do with a break in the mornings. She took a deep breath. “I need help,” she said.

He squinted at her, sizing her up. 

“John, you told me about Mike– what happened, and I am so , so sorry, John,” her hands slipped down his shoulders, taking his hands, feeling the rough calluses in the openings of his gloves. “John, you told me about him yesterday when I asked you to tell me something that’ll make you believe me– trust me,” he said earnestly, hoping sincerely that she wasn’t in store for a patented rage-filled John Walker Crashout.

It seemed he was not. He stared at her blankly for a moment before nodding at her.

“What’s wrong, Ava?” he asked.

“I’m in a time loop,” she said as Yelena began banging at the door– this time she heard clicking sounds as she was sure Yelena was picking the lock. Despite it all she smiled at him.

Chapter Text

The dealers were in custody. They were tied up, sat on the spare bed in Alexei’s room as the team stood before the two. 

Ava couldn’t believe their luck– John shot out of the hotel early and was able to corner the dealers with Alexei and Bucky. After they had tied up the men, Ava had pulled the team aside and clued them all in on the time loop scenario. It mostly went well– Bucky was spooked by the entire concept, Alexei asked about a hundred thousand unanswerable questions, but John and Yelena immediately accepted what she said as the truth and started to work with her.

 Ava walked up to the two men, ripping off the duct tape Bucky had slapped over their mouths. 

“We’re going to need you to tell us about the guns you have on you– more specifically, the blue one? Where is it from? Another planet?” Ava asked, eyes darting between the two. The two men stared at each other for a moment before the larger one– a hairy man with a thick mustache– replied.

“I will not be speaking without my lawyer present,” the man scoffed in heavily accented Italian. Yelena stepped up beside Ava, smiling at her, before pulling out the aforementioned blue gun, and aiming it at the man’s head.

“You will be speaking. Because if you don’t tell us exactly what this,” Yelena wiggled the gun dramatically, “does, we will use it on you.”

“That is very illegal,” the smaller, skinnier man cried out. 

“Hmm this one here may have a point!!” Yelena crouched down to meet his eyes, widening her own mockingly at him. “Oh no, everyone!” she turned to the group, pouting. “We better stop right now. Read these men their rights!” she said, failing to fight the grin that was spreading across her cheeks. John rolled his eyes at her antics. 

“We’ve got a limited amount of time here. So,” John took the gun out of Yelena’s hands, stepping into her place as lead interrogator. 

“Tell us what the fuck this does before I pull the trigger,” John said holding it against the skinny man’s temple and releasing the safety.

“Okay! Okay– it’s just that,” the man held up his hands and  looked at his partner, who seemed equally nervous.

“We have not tested it yet,” the heavier man said. Ava blinked at them.

“Excuse me?” asked. 

Bucky ran a hand over his face, stepping forward. “So… you’re telling me that this thing could’ve had the power to destroy the city– the world for all you know, and you risked those chances to fire it at one of us?”

The two men shared a confused look, the smaller awkwardly shrugged as well as someone tied up could. “I did not use the weapon. You captured us before we could get to the back of the van.”

“No– yes, but,” Bucky rubbed his temples. “You would’ve . Uh,” he looked at Ava.

“You have in the past,” she told them plainly. They looked at her like she spouted a second head.

“You’ve used it on me in the past,” she said, clarifying absolutely nothing for them as they continued to stare at her. “I’ve been repeating the day over and over since you hit me the first time. On the actual real day. I was hit again since– wanted to see if I could reverse it. Nothing happened. So, I need to know everything you can tell me about this gun.”

“Start talking,” John said, waving the weapon between the two men. 

“I don’t know much,” the older man said, sweat beginning to bead on his mustache. “We found the gun in London– a few years ago. Without testing it, it’s been hard to find a buyer, but we were hoping someone– a collector maybe, would like the sight of it, get it off our hands. Most of our clientele aren’t exactly experts when it comes to weaponry.”

“It’s about the flash,” the smaller man added. “The allure.”

“Where did you get it from in London, then?” Ava said, as she took the gun from John’s hand, and brought it to the desk in the corner of the room. She looked at it closely– trying to see if there was anything– some kind of inscription or sign that could point to its origin.

“It was found by someone we’ve been… in business with before. He found it not long after Thor visited the city,” he explained.

“Asgardian, then?” Ava said, turning back to the group. 

The small man shook his head. “Hard to say for sure– Asgardians have traveled all over the galaxy, its actual origin is unknown.”

Ava’s brow crinkled and she walked back over to the others, throwing herself onto Alexei’s other unoccupied bed, facing the team. 

“So, what then– call Valentina? Have her see what Asgardian contacts we have?” she asked.

“Not that simple,” Bucky said. “We’re not in the best place with Thor right now. He’s not thrilled that we’ve rebranded.”

“Fuck a rebrand, this Ava’s life we’re talking about,” John said, taking off his beret, and flinging himself onto the bed beside her. “Call him up, ask him what the thing is.”

“Call him up? Do you think he’s got an iPhone in Asgard?”

Alexei began to hum as he found the roll of duct tape and began fastening pieces back over the buyers mouths. 

“Have Captain Marvel ping him then, or whatever it is we do to keep up with these aliens–”

“She also hates us,” Bucky added.

“Bucky I don’t care , but if you don’t start making calls–” John started shouting, knowing that he could typically win most arguments with Bucky just by virtue of being the loudest person in the room and driving him away, and it seemed to be working again.

Bucky scowled at John, taking his flip phone out of his pocket– pointing it towards Ava. 

“Doing this for you,” he said, giving John a dirty look. 

“Thank you Congressman,” Ava saluted him. 

With the two men tied up, the rest of the team decided to divide up to get as much work done as possible before the end of the day arrived– they’d regroup at nine p.m. unless something came up. Yelena and Alexei would do some research– look into what weapons could have potentially made it onto Earth from Asgard, see if they could find any similarities. Alexei had some contacts in Russia– black market weapons dealers themselves, by the sound of it– that he said he’d consult with. He was wearing tiny reading glasses, pouring over the tablet as Yelena fired up the kettle in his room, muttering to the two dealers that no , they will not get a sip of her very tasty tea.

Bucky would probably be stuck on calls with Val and whoever she could rope into helping for the afternoon. That left her and Walker to go back to her own room– she went to change into regular civilian clothes– she didn’t need to wear the full suit outside of missions anymore, she just had new  cuff bracelets Valentina had made for her that held her quantum balancers– bright white beams of light that stored quantum energy engineered to hold her together. They were fairly flashy pieces of jewelry, illuminating the same way they did tucked into the top of her suit– but necessary to keep her from experiencing crippling pain. So they remained on. She changed in the bathroom while Walker waited outside, occupying himself by throwing one of Yelena’s stress balls back and forth against the wall. 

She listened to it thumping as she pulled her bracelets on.

“Where to after this?” John asked through the door.

“Not sure,” she said, adjusting her braid. “Are any of the unis here good with… well, what field of study exactly would a time loop expert be in?” 

Ava opened the door, clad in a tight pair of black pants that hugged her hips and a matching black tank as John caught the ball and sat up to face her. 

“Physics? Math? Astrology?” he tossed the ball as he threw out each suggestion.

“Astronomy,” Ava corrected.

“Same difference,” he replied.

“Not at all,” she said. “Maybe we could go somewhere, talk this through with some scientists? See if they could find a way to reverse engineer the weapon to shoot me back into the right timeline? What do you think?”

“When’d I tell you about my brother?” he asked instead. Ava froze midstep, turning back to him. He looked calm, continuing to toss the ball back and forth.

“How long’ve you been in there anyways? We’ve been rushing around all morning. Fill me in,” he asked, sitting up. “And I need coffee, someone threw my whole morning for a loop ,” he said grinning triumphantly at his horrific dad joke. She groaned, walking past him to the door. 

“You’re paying after that one,” she said as he got up to follow her out.

“I mean seriously, how long has this been going on– is money even, like real to you right now?” he questioned, swinging the door shut behind them.

____

John and Ava sat outside the cafe, enjoying the sunshine. John laughed into his coffee cup.

“Five days to catch the dealers isn’t that bad, I’m actually pretty impressed with us,” he said, tapping her glass in a cheer.

“Easy for you to say. It’s been five pretty rough days for me,” Ava said, sipping from the glass of Cabernet in front of her, twirling the stem of the glass around her fingers. It was early in the afternoon, but fuck it, time loop.

There was a plate of half-eaten escargot in between them that John had dared her to order– she’d kind of liked them until she started thinking too much about what it was and then she shoved the plate over to him, demanding him to take a bite as well. He gagged, and chugged half her glass of wine to choke it down and Ava had sobbed laughing, very pleased with her earlier choice to just order a damn bottle. 

“So, what do you think? Last day in the loop?” John asked. “We’ve got the buyers, Bucky should be able to get ahold of somebody from Asgard who can tell us what we’re dealing with.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s Asgardian,” Ava shook her head, taking another sip. She propped her head up on her hand, drumming her fingers against her cheek. Her lips twisted a bit. 

“What?” John asks.

“I have a bad feeling about it all, if I’m being perfectly honest,” Ava explained. “I’m counting on a lot going right – and I’m not equipped for that.”

“Understandable,” John rubbed a hand against his beard, letting his ankle fall against hers.

“We need someone from Asgard to like us– the people who’ve shoved a god, a hero, off the roster– and for what? To pretend like we’re worthy of the Avengers title?” she scoffed.

“We didn’t ask for this,” John said gruffly. “Bucky should be able to explain that.”

“ Maybe ,” Ava said. “And maybe we can find some professor here who can come up with some equation to solve my way out of a time loop– something that has literally never happened before in human history.”

“That we know of,” John pointed at her.

“No, John! No! It’s fake– there’s movies, tv shows– fiction, but there hasn’t been any real time loops– well, not until now,” Ava said exasperatedly.

“I’m looking this up,” John pulled his phone from his pocket and started Wikipediaing. Ava drummed her fingers against the table as he scrolled down the page. As he reached the end he looked back up at her.

“I’m still not convinced. Do you know how much weird shit we see everyday?” he said.

“Either way, do you really think this is a simple fix?” Ava asked him. “Honestly?” she sipped her wine, and John took a moment to think the question through.

“I’m not sure it will be,” he admitted, nodding his head at her. “I think getting all of the answers we need before the end of the day today could be pretty tough actually.”

“Exactly,” Ava said, downing the rest of her glass, pouring herself another.

“But that doesn’t mean you give up, right?” John asked.

“Huh?” Ava hummed into her glass.

“You don’t give up,” he repeated, looking her firmly in the eyes. “We keep working the problem. Get you back quickly. Aves, we’ve done hard things before.”

“Hard things are all I know,” Ava said, looking out to the street, watching people pass by. High heels stomping, small dogs scurrying behind their owners, strollers rolling on by. “Could be nice to get a break for a bit,” she said idly.

“No.”

“Excuse me?” Ava asked, looking back at him.

“I said no,” John repeated, sitting up straighter. “You can’t.”

Ava narrowed her eyes. “I have never had a bloody vacation in my life. What if I want to spend a few days wandering around Paris? It’s not like you can stop me.”

“I’ll take you on one tomorrow,” John snapped back. “I’ll take you out, get you dinner, take you shopping, whatever– whatever you want. We’ll stay here, I’ll bring you to any museum you want to go to. But we do it tomorrow .” 

John took the glass out of her hand, wine sloshing around the glass a bit (it was a heavy pour) and he downed it in one go, a waste , Ava thought– he couldn’t even get drunk. He got up and threw bills down onto the table. 

“Hey!” Ava yelped as John grabbed her bicep, yanking her up. 

He practically dragged her down the street as she tried to claw his grip off.

“Hold my hand,” he said, marching her forward through the streets like the soldier he was.

“What? No!” she said, wiggling her arm to get him off.

“Do it or I’ll keep dragging you like this all the way back to the hotel,” he demanded. Ava scowled at him, but she didn’t love the way passersby were looking at the two of them like a problematic domestic situation was unfolding, so she allowed him to intertwine his fingers with her own.

“You are a liability ,” he growled at her. “Sometimes I forget we’re all walking suicide risks. Of course you’re going to do something stupid here.”

“How dare you! Spending a few days wandering around the gardens of Versailles or the Louvre isn’t going to hurt anyone!” Ava squeezed his hand tightly, hoping it hurt, but knowing it didn’t. She glanced up at him, flickering ever so slightly. His fingers moved, quick as a flash, snapping against her wrist– tight and uncomfortable in a way he never was with her outside of the sparring ring– he pushed her towards the stone edge of a nearby pharmacy, looking around to see if anyone saw him manhandling her. 

“Ava, try something again and I will shatter the bracelet. Try me. I’d rather have you in pain than not here at all,” he said, eyes dark. Ava wanted to shove him against the wall. 

“Don’t be a brat. Cooperate,” he said, tugging her back onto the street. It’s only a block or so back to the hotel from that point. The second after he’s dragged her through the lobby and the elevator door shuts she stamps on his foot as hard as possible and he yelps– she’s pleased at just how high-pitched the sound that escapes him is– hand loosening just enough for her to yank her own upwards, slipping from his grip and phasing out of the elevator back into Alexei’s room.

“She returns!” Alexei cheers. The two dealers are still tied up on the second bed– it looks like Yelena has put on some weird French cartoon for them. The bathroom door is closed, and she can hear the hairdryer running.

“Alexei, John’s on his way up– do not let him in,” she instructed. 

“Ah! What game are we playing now!” Alexei lept to his feet, ready to grab a nearby weapon when the bathroom door flew open. Yelena had her phone in one hand, the other was outstretched in a fist in front of her– Ava realized a beat too late that her widow bites were being shot directly at her, nailing her in the chest, making her spasm, unable to phase.

Alexei turned to his daughter, “Who are we with? Ava? John? I am lost?” Yelena shook her head at him as the door flew off the hinges, Walker mid-crashout huffing in the doorway, marching towards where Ava laid, tugging the widow bites down to secure her hands together the way Bucky had the first day they’d met, keeping her from using her powers. 

The electricity stopped actively sending shockwaves through her entire system as Yelena adjusted the grip for them on her arm. Now a steady buzz rattled her wrists– uncomfortable, slightly painful but bearable, especially considering the chronic pain she was used to.

“Sorry, Ava– John texted me saying you were an active suicide risk,” Yelena kneeled down to sit beside her, then looked up at John.

“She got weird on me,” he said, looking at the rest of the group, adrenaline seeming to simmer down in his system. “I’m worried she’s going to hang out in here. There. The loop.”

“No, I just want a vacation! A few days to see Paris, be a tourist– come on, Lena, you know there’s nothing wrong with that!” Ava begged. 

Yelena pursed her lips, tapping her thumb against it. “I would never say you do not need a vacation. We all deserve vacations– I can make a case to Val that you need one after this,” Yelena offered.

“Exactly what I said,” John muttered. Ava threw him a sharp glare.

“And what if she refuses? What if some alien spaceship shows up tomorrow? I can promise the world doesn’t need me today. I just want a few days… maybe a week,” Ava said, vaguely thinking that she could easily do at least a month– she could take the train down to the south of France to go swimming… 

“So, I’d agree to this. Normally. Trust you, all of that but the issue here is I just… can’t. There is no follow up– no way for me to hold you accountable. So, we’ll end the loop today,” Yelena jumped to her feet, back in leader mode.

“Alexei, you, me and John will go to Bucky’s room– Alexei and I will debrief John, while Bucky watches Ava here, and then they can swap places. We’ll put together what we have now, and get working. If we all work together, we can solve it by midnight. Ava,” Yelena pointed at her. “You do not get to be a part of the planning process anymore– I am sorry!” 

Ava tried to argue but Yelena herded the others behind them and began shooing them out of the room. She scampered back in, grabbing the two dealers by the scruff of their necks as an afterthought. John looked back at her, but Yelena pulled him out of her sight, the door still hanging loose off its hinges.

“Assholes,” she muttered. 

“We sure are,” Bucky drawled, meandering his way over to her, sitting down in the room’s lone armchair. 

“Cuck chair,” Ava hissed at him. He folded his hands on his lap.

“I will be watching,” he said, staring her down with a slightly sarcastic smirk.

“Can you at least help me onto the bed so I can watch tv, then?” 

______

After allowing Ava to direct him as he flipped through the channels with her, finally settling on some cooking show, Bucky considered her. 

She was pouting in the bed and asking him for a thousand things– to lower or raise the volume, get her a sip of water, push back her hair– he was sure she was trying to find some way to break out so he abided every request with caution. But he noticed that she was much twitchier than normal– every slight sound in the hall had her on edge. She was like this when they first formed the New Avengers– it had taken her a few months to settle in. As a former lab experiment himself, he understood how hard it could be to adjust to living a normal life– he made sure the rest of the team gave her the space she needed as she settled in. 

He also knew that the team had barely had a moment of peace since they’d been introduced to the world. Val had them running around the globe on various dangerous missions and when they weren’t, they were being shoved in front of the cameras. Days off weren’t a rarity– they just didn’t exist. He wanted a break just as badly as she did. He pinched his nose.

The issue was that they were all loose cannons. He loved Ava like a sister, but he knew that she couldn’t bunk alone on missions because she’d oversleep. It wasn’t that she didn’t care– it was just… her. And they accommodated that, made sure she had a roommate, and she was happy to share the room. And he knew that if they let her take a few days, it would turn into a few weeks. And without them to check on her, who’s to say it wouldn’t tumble into a few months? And then he’d have to count on her to line the day up the same way it had been today– make sure that the entire team was working together on a way out all day long. It was a lot of effort… and he wasn’t sure she’d be willing to put it in again, knowing that there weren’t “real” consequences.  How would she be able to reintegrate with the team if she came back ages later? Would she even want to spend time with them anymore?

A knock sounded on the door, and Bucky gave Ava a pointed look before shouting, “Come in!”

John walked in, looking slightly embarrassed– he avoided looking at Ava and addressed Bucky directly.

“Ready for you to go in and put together the pieces with Val,” he said. Bucky nodded, and walked out, carefully placing the door back against the fame as much as he could. John sank down into his chair.

“Please don’t make me feel like shit for worrying about you?,” John asked.

“Permission denied,” Ava said, rolling onto her side, watching the sunset. And because she was a little mean: “You hurt me.”

John sucked in a breath through his teeth. “I know.” And instead of saying it was her own damn fault: “I’m sorry.”

“It’s just…” he started, looking outside to face the view as well. “I don’t want you out here… on a different path than me. Living a different life than me– us.” 

He faced her, even though she still refused to look at him.

“We’re… close, Ava. To something. I think you feel it too.” She sucked on her bottom lip and dared to peek at him. His cheeks were bright pink. Worth the glance.

“And I’m just– scared we won’t get there. If you don’t get out of here and stay with me. I know you don’t get to see tomorrow right now, but well– I do. And I don’t want to be in a tomorrow without you.” 

“I’ll still be there for you,” she said flippantly.

“No– no! You won’t. You’re here. Living day after day– experiencing things, having some kind of life. One that I’m not a part of,” he insisted.

“You are,” she assured him. “I see you every day.” He was usually nearly always the bright part too, but she kept that to herself. 

“And if you get stuck again, please keep seeing me,” he said, getting to his feet, sitting on the foot of the bed, resting his heavy palm against her ankle. “Don’t be mad at me for this. See me again in the morning and we’ll do it all over.”

“I will,” she lied. He let out a breath. 

“Okay,” he said. 

Ava could feel some part of her slipping. The part that had gotten used to being a cog in a machine, a teammate, someone who could help. The sense of purpose she’d gained since joining the New Avengers was sliding out of her like a deflating balloon. The sense of routine she needed to keep herself chugging along was all out of focus. Just a few days– a break would be okay. Ava felt a prick at her ankle, and jolted.

Suddenly, she felt exhaustion rushing through her body and her lips dropped into an o as she glared at Walker, tucking away a needle into a pocket on his suit.

“We’re going to figure it out without you now, okay. Just sleep and we’ll fix it. Val’s going to help,” he said, as her vision faded. Least reassuring words ever.

____

By the time Ava woke up, it was dark and her mouth felt dry and cottony. 

“Hm, ‘ello,” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. 

The entire team was sitting at the foot of her bed– a tablet propped up in front of her with a live feed of  Val and Mel. Nobody was smiling at her.

“Didn’t pull it off, did we?” she asked. No one in the room seemed to want to answer.

“Not this time, no. But I’m not leaving you empty handed,” Val said as Mel bit at one of her manicured fingernails behind her.

“The gun can’t be reverse engineered. Don’t waste time with that route,” Mel began, moving through the items much more quickly than Val could have. “Asgardians confirmed it’s not their tech– but we’re not having an easy time collaborating with them to determine what it actually could be. Find a way to help the Asgardians out, give them something, and maybe we have a shot of getting more information out of them. Try spending a few days working on that, maybe?” Mel suggested.

“John threatened to go to Scandinavia tonight and start beating people up,” Yelena chimed in. “If that makes you feel better.” Ava noticed John sitting in the chair, posture obscenely bad– as always. He looked like the dictionary definition of the word defeated. 

“We’re not allowing that,” Val added.

“We haven’t tracked down the dealers contact in London yet, but I’m not sure that’s a promising direction– according to them he knows even less about the sources of space technology than they do. He mostly just pawns for them, and happened across something a little shinier than usual. But that’s another option. I have a list,” the tablet pinged with a message. “Of scholars– the best experts we’ve identified– both here in France and all over the world. You can memorize as many of those names as you can, spend a few days working and consulting with them,” Mel continued. John got up, and the rest of the team looked over at him nervously.

“Four minutes left,” he said. “Mel– let her study. Everyone else out,” he demanded. 

“Good luck,” Mel said before Val ended the call. The rest of the team made their way out slowly, giving her long glances and eyeing her worriedly. 

“I’m really sorry, kid. I tried,” Bucky said.

“It is okay because I will see you in the morning, Ava. Just be very careful when you steal my guns, those are my favorites,” she squeezed her shoulder.

“I cannot wait to hear about your adventure when you return. You must remember every day– I want to hear the full story!” Alexei boomed, doing his best to keep spirits up. By the time everyone had drifted out, and she’d spent a minute or two memorizing the list (she had a fantastic memory, especially with names and places), John and her only had a moment left.

He’d sat back down in the chair across from her, watching her as she read the list over and over. Once she looked up, he didn’t quite know what to say. There wasn’t time.

“I hate this,” he said.

“Me too,” Ava agreed as the day faded away and landed her back in her own bed.

Chapter Text

Ava woke up to a loud clatter, as she groaned and tossed an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirped brightly.

Ava shot up straight in her bed, swinging her legs out of the covers with purpose. Yelena shot her an amused look as she scuttled around the room– grabbing her tank top, jeans, boots, wallet– she paused, circling the room for a moment.

“Your suit?” Yelena questioned. No, Ava didn’t need that today. She darted forward into the bathroom, twisting the lock behind her, ignoring Yelena’s complaints on the other side of the door. She phased outside the hotel, looking from side to side– and then above, quickly– with Yelena, there was always a chance of being tackled as she threw herself off yet another roof. She decided she’d start with the Champs-Élysées today. A little shopping. Maybe a museum afterwards? She held her bundle of clothes to her chest, bounding across the street during a break in traffic. She popped into the cafe across from the hotel to change in the bathroom. After yanking on her clothes and tossing her silk nightgown into the trashcan, she slid into a table at the back.

“Un café, s’il vous plaît?” she asked a nearby server who nodded back at her. Her French wasn’t nearly as good as John or Bucky’s but she knew the basics.

Ava slouched against the back wall, watching the view across the street. John tossed the hotel door open (rather violently, she noted), and Yelena followed behind him holding the tablet. Yelena was gesturing at the screen, while John seemed to be disagreeing with whatever it was she was saying. 

“Just go, John,” she whispered under her breath. 

The disagreement went on for a few moments before Yelena’s hand shot to the comms unit in her ear, and she grabbed John by the arm, dragging him with her down the street, yanking him harder as he turned back one more time to look back at the hotel. So that was settled. Ava got up, grabbed a few bills from her wallet and placed them on the table. She’d grab another coffee later. Right now she wanted to put as much distance between her and the group as she could while they were occupied. 

Ava walked out of the cafe and into the nearest alleyway, allowing herself to phase over to the top of the Champs-Élysées with the Arc de Triomphe looming in the background. Before her lay a long avenue lined with neatly placed trees and large designer shops gilded in elaborate metallic framed windows. She’d gone shopping in a few spots in New York with Yelena before, but the entire ordeal was a bit out of character for her. People in the city were very aware of the presence of the Avengers (both the new and prior versions) among them, whereas their international presence was a bit less conspicuous. Of course people who took a good look at her could recognize her, but it wasn’t like they were expected to be here. At least with their current group, most of their only missions abroad were shadow ops Val was currently covering up. 

Ava slowly made her way down the street, waltzing into Chanel, Louis Vuitton, and even her personal favorite from home, Zara (Yelena hated going there with her, but there was something about the extreme hit or misses in the store that thrilled Ava) piling her toned arms with as many shopping bags as they could carry. She shoved a near pair of sunglasses to the top of her head– of course none of this would exist in a few hours, the clothing would all reappear back on their racks, but there was something about the thrill of trying on outfits, sipping free champagne and dealing with snooty salespeople (most of whom didn’t seem to recognize who she was until she handed them the team’s card to run.

As the sun began to set, Ava parked herself outdoors at a small brasserie. She puffed on a cigarette– she had tried one once that she’d stolen off a scientist as a teenager, but she remembered gagging at the taste– now she understood why people all around the city had been dragging on them all day. The loose feeling drifting through her limbs was delicious even if the taste itself wasn’t. She swiped her hand at her wine glass, only for it to phase through a few times. Her body didn’t seem to quite know how to handle the new substance. She coughed a few times before flagging the waiter for another glass of wine. She’d slurp at the one in front of her with her mouth tilting down the lip of the glass if her hands wouldn’t work. Whatever. It wasn’t like anyone here would remember her here anyways. 

She hiccuped, thanking the waiter as he dropped off a fresh glass. She was wearing a vintage knit Chanel dress and kept her new Louis bag perched prominently on the table in front of her. She wondered if she was classy yet?

She meant to make her way to a museum or two today but– the shopping really was spectacular here. No worries , she thought to herself, taking a healthy sip out of her new glass the waiter dropped in front of her with a slightly skeptical look. She’d have plenty of time to explore in the coming days. Day? 

Ava leaned across from her– tapping a dark haired man slouched out in a chair beside her, scanning a newspaper– he raised his eyebrows at her silent request.

“Le temps?” Ava asked for the time. 

“Onze heures quarante,” the man replied. Ava nodded at him, just leaving her wallet on the table. She didn’t need anything else in there. She walked up from the table, following the lit path of trees ahead of her. It was still a decent walk along the avenue.

It was a nice day. One of her most peaceful, well– in ages. All things considered, it wasn’t as painful as she thought to shuttle herself away from the team in the morning. They’d find some way to handle things. She’d have a bit of time to herself for once. She could spend a few weeks improving her shitty accent and looking at art while dressed in some ridiculous finery. She’d ‘treat herself’. She’d heard about that once before in one of Bob and Yelena’s sitcoms that was always airing on repeat. It was all very exciting. 

She wobbled a bit in her new heels, not bothering to count down the few minutes she had left. One nice aspect of it all was that she was fairly certain she wouldn’t wake up with a hangover. She hesitated noticing a poster out of the corner of her eye– it was old, peeling off the wall on an alley beside her– it had recently been mostly covered up by something advertising a Paris Saint Germain game, but it was her team. The stupid, awful Wheaties ad Alexei wouldn’t stop going on about. Did they even have Wheaties in France? She wondered. 

Ava huffed, marching away from the display in her usual sashay before yelping loudly as her ankle rolled from underneath her with a crack. The fucking heels–pain seared through her. Tears began to burn hotly behind her eyes, and she swiped at her face angrily, surely streaking the new Dior mascara she’d let a saleswoman apply earlier. She clenched her fist, looking beside her at a nearby cafe table where a few customers were looking at her with concern. She grit her teeth and walked to the closest table where a young couple in their twenties widened their eyes at her. Ava swiped the glass of wine out from under the girl’s grip, muttering thank you very much, and downing it in one go.

She looked at the bewildered couple, gave them a short salute and walked back to the edge of the road. A larger truck was driving down her way quickly, on its way to the roundabout ahead of her. That would do , Ava thought, allowing herself to step into traffic and the truck to mow her over. 

___

Ava woke up to a loud clatter, as she groaned and tossed an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirped brightly.

___

Ava made her way out the same as before– today was going to be about museums. There were a few she wanted to see– The Louvre, obviously (she remembered John telling her about a trip he’d taken there at some point– he’d once told her that if you only spent thirty seconds in front of every piece of art there, it’d take over a month to go through the whole museum– he explained that she’d have to make a plan if she wanted to go so she could prioritize seeing what she was the most interested in. She smirked a bit at the thought.) but also the Musee D’Orsay, Musee de L’Orangerie, the Centre Pompidou– she’d obviously have to climb the Eiffel Tower, and see Les Invalides (although her mood soured at the thought of how much she’d like to hear John droning on about the military history of it all). There were the Catacombs, the Notre Dame– enough to keep a girl occupied for a very long time. 

She began the morning by picking the lock on a motorbike and zipping through the streets, making her way towards the Eiffel Tower, zooming ahead as it grew larger and larger in front of her. As she approached, she loosened her grip on the bike’s throttle, coming to a stop. She pauses for a moment before simply shoving it aside on the curb– she’d just steal another if she needed to. 

Ava walked up to the structure, craning her neck to take it all in. 

“Pretty big,” she imagined Yelena, nudging her with a smirk, the team falling into line behind them. 

“Oh, it’s huge ,” Ava would bite back with a fake moan in her voice. The two of them had taken to making innuendos around John whenever they could– there was something so delightful about making the 6’2 Southern Gentleman of a Super Soldier uncomfortable. Or at least ‘raised’ like a gentleman– whether he decided to actually be one depended on the day. He’d probably groan, and shove his face in his hands and say something about Yelena having a sick mind. The two of them had adopted a very sibling-like relationship where Walker had become very protective over her, and she liked to taunt him endlessly. It was cute. He’d never tell Ava to stop saying filthy things, though– and she always got the best blushes out of him. 

Ava rolled her eyes at herself. This was not how she was supposed to spend her break– didn’t she want time to herself? Time to quiet her mind a bit?

She walked forward before pausing as she noticed the winding line ahead of her. That wasn’t happening. She phased her way up past the entrance midway up the first set of stairs. About everyone on the stairwell jumped and a few shouted as she suddenly appeared. 

“Sorry everyone– just popping in!” Ava chimed before launching herself forward and taking the stairs two at a time, hoping to outpace the bewildered group behind her, before joining a larger group ahead and meandering her way up slowly with them. She took in the view, enjoying the breeze that lifted her hair as she made her way higher. Once she finally reached the top and admired the sight of the city, she turned around and took in the people around her. A few larger groups– maybe high schoolers on some kind of tour? And a couple groups of elderly travelers. But mostly– couples. People embracing, kissing– taking selfies, the works. Ava pressed a hand to her temple for a moment before phasing her way back to the ground where only a group of young boys playing football seemed to notice her. She nodded at them and began to walk away.

She decided to spend the rest of the day in a different part of the city and made her way to Montmartre where she climbed her way up once again, and spent her afternoon eating, drinking and admiring the work of the artists propped around the neighborhood. She even let a few draw her, keeping the work and pressing fat rolls of bills into her hand after popping over to a nearby ATM. She spent the evening polishing off a bottle of Cabernet while some dark haired man sat next to her and flirted shamelessly as she mostly ignored him. Towards the end of the evening, she began to listen a little more as he scooted closer and even dared to put a hand on her knee. She wondered what that would be like– it had been so long for her. She hadn’t slept with anyone since she’d been on the team– and only had a small handful of times before in her life– quick, hurried affairs carried out in dive bar bathrooms by men she’d allowed to push herself up against a wall and thrust into her quickly, shamelessly and with little to no regard for her actual pleasure. She’d stopped after four (or was it five?) disappointing attempts at chasing an orgasm. Sure, she’d given herself one (plenty of times after moving into the Watchtower) but no one else had ever given her one. 

The man’s hand slid slightly upwards, moving in towards her thigh and she tried to decide whether she liked the feeling or not. Her lashes fluttered for a second– and yes , she thinks. She did like it. 

Her eyes flicked up and met his dark brown set and she gasped involuntarily, sliding away from the man. The day began to slip out from under her– the weird floating feeling of it all resetting catching up with her as she realized she expected to see blue when she looked up. 

___

Ava decided that it was time to take distracting herself seriously. She begins with a bus tour of the city– the lone (American/Argentinian/British) woman in a sea of German tourists. She wears sunglasses outside and a baseball cap during her days now– preferring to keep a low profile so she can spend as much time in museums as possible without getting recognized, which mostly works. She finds the Wikipedia page for “List of Museums in Paris” and is delighted to discover over 130 entries. Plenty to keep her busy.

She spends weeks occupying herself this way. She visits the ones on her prior list and ones she’s never even heard of before– dental and medical museums, one dedicated entirely to hand fans and fan-making. She particularly enjoys Musée de la Chasse et de la Nature– dedicated to the sport of hunting. Ava can appreciate a good shot as much as any marksman and talks her way into having tea with the director who even swings her to the back to show her some unseen items. 

She spends (and she really does try not to think of how much time she’s spending here) months alone in the Louvre– typically avoiding the sections with the most tourists, preferring to mill around the exhibits and take her time reading descriptions for each item. It almost feels indulgent, allowing herself all this time to learn. 

She visits the Garden of Versailles and takes a train to the south of France and spends her day swimming until it all resets. She wants to visit the Champagne region, do a wine tour. 

She ends most of her days in clubs, drinking heavily and doing her best not to think about anything outside of allowing herself this time to indulge– something she’d never been allowed to have at any other point of her life. Sure, she would end it at some point. Soon. But it was a lot of work getting the team to align– they weren’t even able to find a solid lead last time. How would she convince the Asgardians to work with her team? How could she even remember the names of the scientists Mel pulled together last time? Would she have to study and get some kind of PhD before she’d ever be able to figure out how to officially get out of there? It all sounded like a bit of a nightmare, really. So on she went.

__

One day she visits the Musée de la Magie– a charming little space beneath the Marquis de Sade's house with items from magic shows, optical illusions, secret boxes and all types of things that she can’t help but think that Bob would absolutely love. Her heart pinches at that– and she stumbles out abruptly. She wanders down the street trying to do some math– how long had it been now? Three months? Six? 

How long had it been since she’d thought of Bob at all? Bob! Bob who was sitting in New York day after day waiting for her and the team to come home. She felt an urge to find a phone and call him– but the truth was she didn’t even know his number and she’d made a point of never grabbing her phone in the morning. It was too late in the afternoon to call now anyways– it’d only get the team all riled up and she’d have to go back and meet them.

She tried to do some math as to when the last time she’d seen her teammates (other than Yelena who she’d phased away from in a quick two minute span each morning– ignoring her typical complaints as she grabbed what she needed. She’d learned to grab the motorbike down the street and not look back– seeing John wouldn’t make anything easier.)

She’d been to– was it sixty– maybe seventy? Of the museums on her list by now. Plus months in the Louvre. Plus a few trips to the coast by now– and there was that one day where she flew out to the Amalfi Coast after some drunk Italian man begged her to join him on his private jet. She’d ended up tossing him off of his yacht at night after he groped one of his stewardesses, and sent them into town with bundles of cash she’d reached into his safe and grabbed. It was a good time. 

Ava went out to some fancy Michelin star restaurant that had been on her (still ever-growing) list, and picked at her meal before giving up and walking out. 

Maybe she should stop by the hotel quickly. Maybe she could tell them she had been sick today? Or had a family emergency– something with the Pyms? She noticed some other crime being committed and she felt the need to jump into action, forsaking their plan? It would be so nice just to see them quickly for the night– but there was almost no chance that didn’t end in some clusterfuck with all of them yelling at each other for the day’s plans going wrong. 

Ava didn’t even know what happened there in the alley now that she was gone. But no one else had grabbed her to tell her that they were stuck in some kind of time loop– and in this group of professional assassins, she had no doubt they’d be able to track her down by now– so she felt it was safe to say that nothing went horribly wrong without her there.

Maybe , she thought– maybe , she could go to the apartment next door– try to get a glimpse of them. See what everyone was up to tonight. Just a quick peek. See if Yelena and Alexei are having dinner together. If Bucky and John are playing cards. Maybe that could work.

Ava settles in at a hotel bar, sipping a few martinis dry before coaxing a businessman sitting next to her to borrow his laptop quickly.

It takes her all of five minutes to discover that the building across from the hotel is an Airbnb and she can’t believe her luck– it isn’t available for the night, no, but when Ava scurries her way to the hotel’s neighborhood, hoping the martinis aren’t undoing all of her stealth training, she sees that the room isn’t lit. Out for the night, she hopes, phasing her way through the door and into the building, jogging up the stairs and phasing into the dark room, standing silently before she determines there’s no one else in here. 

She make her way to the window, crouching carefully and keeping the lights off. She counts the floors and windows before looking into John’s. He’s lying on the bed in a plain white t-shirt and red flannel boxers with an elbow thrown over his face. She’s not happy about that, but enjoys the way his shirt is slightly ridden up. His hair is dirty and poking up all over the place. She swallows, counting the other rooms and seeing hers– Yelena is in there with Bucky and–

He’s– holding her? Did she have this all wrong? Was Yelena interested in… Bucky? Not Bob? Ava’s brow furrows, head cocking sideways. She feels kind of… creepy? Staring at this.

She begins to get up and shift away before she darts her eyes back over to John’s for a moment.

And fuck.

He’s staring. Straight at her. 

Damn super soldier serum. He jolts to his feet, walking towards the window, jaw slightly slack.

It’s then she notices that his face is covered in bruises. His eyes are rimmed red and dark circles bag under his eyes. Ava never wanted to see this. She needs to get out of here. Forget this. She stumbles backwards a bit, eyes flicking back to Yelena and her room for another short moment– and that’s when she realizes what’s going on.

Yelena is still in Bucky’s arms but he’s holding her entirely as she’s slouched over, weightless and sobbing. Her mouth is open, wailing. The light to Alexei’s room isn’t on at all. She looks back at John who is just throwing a chair through his window now, okay she thinks– let’s think about the people below! 

Before she can check to see if John’s leaving collateral damage, she continue to scutter backwards, knocking her way into a coffee table and phasing through the door when she slams into another body– her eyes widen in fear before she sees that it’s not John– some guy who must be staying at the Airbnb. He gawks at her as she mumbles an apology, running upwards towards the roof– she hears a noise downstairs and she has no doubt that it’s John breaking down the door. Once she gets to the rooftop and she can find somewhere else to phase to.

There’s one more flight of stairs before a heavy door to the roof– one she knows John will open with ease, and no, she cannot deal with him right now– she cannot take the time to process what has been unfolding with her team. 

Because even in her inebriated state– she knew. She saw Yelena’s pain, she knew she couldn’t afford to lose anyone else. But if John caught up to her– if he told her out loud what had been happening, happening every damn day every day for six months oh she was going to be sick. 

Ava stumbled across the roof, really wishing she’d downed at least one more martini. She flickered a bit, hoping to phase to the ground as a pain tore through her and she gasped. She looked down– her quantum balancer had been damaged on her left wrist and the lights were flickering on and off.

Surely enough, a moment later, the door to the roof was thrown open and John stood in front of her, half-dressed, breathing heavily.

“Where the fuck where you, Ava?” he said through his teeth. Ava just stared back at him, jaw flapping open and closed.

“We are a team Ava– Yelena needed you,” his voice cracked. “ I needed you. Why the fuck would you do this, huh?” 

He took a step toward her, and no– Ava scuttled to the edge of the roof, peering down. Maybe nine or ten stories? Enough to do the job.

John watched Ava measure the distance between her and the ground, misunderstanding her. 

“You can’t outrun me. Even if you make the jump to the next roof, you’re not faster than me,” he nods at her wrist. “With that broken you don’t stand a chance.” 

He starts walking toward her and she decides to do it, just do it and lets herself fall backwards off the ledge. She feels her legs and back break– her head crack and cave– she’s killed herself a dozen times or so now, and she can tell that she maybe only has a minute or so left, but allows herself to wallow in the horrible aching pain of it all.

It feels indulgent, it feels like something she deserves. She almost feels good as she’s dying and letting it all reset until she sees John on the ledge above her, allowing himself to fall down and join her. 

Fucking idiot. 

Chapter Text

Ava woke up to a loud clatter, as she groaned and tossed an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirped brightly. Another loud noise as the curtains were yanked open by her annoyingly cheerful roommate. “We’ve got to go, though– Alexei just called, the buyers are showing up an hour earlier than planned.”

Ava immediately shrunk even deeper underneath the covers. She felt naked despite the slip on her body. Her stomach lurched violently. She buried her head underneath the covers, feeling herself begin to hyperventilate. 

Half a second later, Yelena yanked the covers off her body, climbing into the bed with her and wrapping herself around Ava like a little sloth. 

“I know, I know… waking up is hard! But let’s go, and then we can get a nice lunch somewhere on Walker’s dime!” Yelena coaxed. Ava went stiff as a board. It’d been so long since she’d even allowed Yelena to say more than two or three sentences to her– she was so used to springing out of bed and immediately escaping. She wanted to wrap her arms back around her friend and beg for forgiveness– but what use would that be?

Ava nodded, giving Yelena a neutral hum, allowing herself to get up– pausing for a moment once she emerged from the bed– Ava twisted her hands together and stared Yelena directly in the eyes.

“I’m so–” Ava tried to begin before running a hand down her face. No, she couldn’t bear all of this quite yet.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Yelena. It’ll all be okay,” Ava said firmly. This was a promise, she swore to herself. She just needed this day to sort herself out. She’d face it afterwards. She prayed that Yelena could forgive her. She avoided thinking about John entirely.

Ava phased out of the room, grabbing just her passport off the countertop.

__

She reappeared in a very mid-00’s themed internet cafe she had discovered in some of her past adventures to do museum research. Quiet, nondescript– the exact kind of place she could slip in and out of with bedhead and pajamas with a few relative looks. Most of the people in here seemed to be passing through the city– there was a hostel above that she looked like she could feasibly be staying at.

Ava cracked her knuckles and began some long overdue research. After roughly thirty minutes, she’d had a printed airline ticket to Berlin in hand, and she’d swapped her silk slip for an outfit from someone staying upstairs. She hailed a cab to the airport. 

___

She rubbed her eyes as she traveled down the escalator at the airport in Berlin, a sleep pillow stuck around her neck and a red bull in hand. She was as ready as she’d ever be.

Bill Foster stood at the bottom of the escalator waiting for her. Before she could decide what to do with her face when she arrived at the bottom, his own had broken into a bright smile and he scooped her into a hug she was helpless to melt into.

“Oh, Bill,” she murmured. “I’ve really fucked it all up now.”

“I’m here, Ava,” he assured her. “And I’m not going anywhere this time,” he said. She was grateful to be tucked into his hug so he couldn’t see the way her lip twisted. She let out a sigh and allowed herself to be held by him. He smoothed his hand over her hair a few times before pulling back and taking her in again. She sniffled and hoped her eyes weren’t too red.

“Let’s get out of here, huh?” he asked, knocking her shoulder and guiding her towards the door where a car waited.

It turned out that Bill had recently moved to Germany where he got a job as a professor at a center for molecular medicine. It was her own fault, really– she’d survived the blip and lost Bill and the Pyms and ended up as a pawn of Valentina’s. She’d feel worse about it if the best people she knew didn’t end up in exactly the same place, but what hurt the most was the fact that she felt too ashamed to look for Bill after the blip ended. She didn’t want to see how disappointed he was in her.

She knew he was around somewhere but she’d stopped herself from doing the bare minimum of just googling him. Once she saw him she knew it’d just be another tough conversation. Pointless apologies from him, stammered excuses as to why she fell right back into a career as a mercenary for her… it was something she’d really done a remarkable job of putting off.

An hour later, she was sitting in his small office (which made the moment feel a bit more like a student visiting a professor during office hours than a familial reunion) standing at his whiteboard trying to make notes and unpack as much of the situation as she could to him. Finally she took a breath and a sip of the tea he’d made her (perfect– he still remembered exactly how she took it, two sugars with lemon). 

“What do you think?” she asked, eyebrows shooting up as she settled back into the chair facing him, pulling up the sleeves of his sweater that she’d thrown on when she noticed it slung on the back of her chair.

“I think you’re having a hell of a time right now,” he said, pushing his glasses up, looking at her seriously. “Have you been taking care of yourself at all for the past few months?” 

Ava looked out the window, pursing her lips.

“I’d blame myself but we hardly have the time to go there,” Bill sighed. Ava frowned at that.

“What? How–?”

“I should’ve tracked you down right away. I know Scott and the Pyms are too busy to keep tabs on you all by themselves. I know they’ve checked on you since their return, but I figured… I should give us some distance. Let you have a little glory for once– be an Avenger. Let you come back to me,” he rubbed his forehead. “Went about it all wrong, I guess. I’m so sorry, Ava,” he said. The sincerity in his voice made something in her throat constrict.

She nodded rapidly at him. 

“There’s nothing to forgive,” she said vehemently. “Nothing,” she scooted closer, holding his hand. 

“I just– need you to help me today. And then we’ll see each other again,” she smiled sadly at him. He nodded back. 

“I can do that,” he agreed.

__

Ava spent the majority of the day in the office scribbling back and forth on the whiteboard, digging into different theories she could study to get a way out as well as crafting a morning routine that would get the team on her side sooner than later so she could start studying. Bill was convinced that the best way for her to get out would be to consult with experts, study for as long as it took (likely as long as some kind of PhD program so probably years but Bill wouldn’t commit to giving her any kind of solid number. He just kept telling her that she was smart and she’d figure it out which was infuriating). Ava was convinced that she could end this sooner by finding some way to appeal to the Asgardians and maybe they could do the hard work of figuring out where the gun that shot her was from. Bill was unconvinced that that kind of diplomacy could be achieved in a day. It went without saying that diplomacy was hardly one of Ava’s skillsets. Ultimately, they came to the conclusion that she’d make her own final choice about which direction she wanted to head in first, but she’d keep it to herself so Bill in this timeline wouldn’t lose his mind worrying about her.

It was the first time in a long time that she’d wondered what happened to the people she was spending today with in their tomorrow– one she’d never see. A little shudder ran through her at the fact. As she sipped slowly at the sleepytime tea Bill had brewed her she tugged at the bag and wondered what happened to each John she’d spent the day with at midnight? As every day reset, did John burst out of his room and bang at her door? When she was next to him in her hospital bed would he still hold her after the clock hit midnight? Would she disappear in his arms like she’d been blipped? Would her memory wipe?

She blinked slowly, smiling at Bill who looked as exhausted as she was, sitting across from her, no longer pretending to go through his notes and highlight relevant items– he just smiled at her sadly.

“It was wonderful to see you Ava,” he said. “Visit anytime,” he added as she felt the clock swooshing and day resetting. She closed her eyes and settled into the feeling, letting it rush her back into her bed in Paris.

—

Ava woke up to a loud clatter, as she groaned and tossed an arm over her eyes.

“Sorry!” Yelena’s voice chirped brightly. Another loud noise as the curtains were yanked open by her annoyingly cheerful roommate. “We’ve got to go, though– Alexei just called, the buyers are showing up an hour earlier than planned.”

Ava allowed herself one deep breath before shooting out of bed. She grabbed her phone, looking over at Yelena who had a bemused expression at her uncharacteristic burst of morning energy. 

Ava held a hand up to her– “Change of plans,” she announced.

“Oh?” Yelena questioned.

“Yes– I just– uh, John is downstairs and he’s going with us,” she announced. “And we’re out of here as a group now–” she said as her fingers flew over her phone. She pulled up John’s contact and texted him that she had new intel– she heard from Bucky and Alexei about the deal and he needs to head ahead of him and Yelena now – the way he did the one time things had gone smoothly before she revealed her plans to fuck off on the team and be a selfish brat. She grit her teeth, reminded herself that no one else on the team actually knew how cringeworthy and childish her behavior had fully been over the past few months. 

She let Alexei and Bucky know via text that they should track John’s location, he was incoming and when he arrived at the alley– they needed to avoid severe firepower from the back of the white van and to move in and capture the dealers and prepare them for interrogation and shove the buyers to the back of the wall with Alexei so they didn’t get maimed in the process too. The pain was real , Ava reminded herself.

“Actually– John just messaged me back now,” Ava said in a wooden tone, biting at her lip. She knew acting wasn’t one of her strong suits, even as a trained spy she was very bad at lying to the people who knew her best. 

“Really?” Yelena asked suspiciously. 

“Yes,” Ava stated, nodding her head like a doll. “Oh! Oh, and–” she pretended she was reading new texts from John– ones he (really, truly prayed after everything with Alexei during her hiatus) expected to roll in in a minute or less. “It’s all done! Wow, that was quick,” Ava wiped fake sweat off her forehead giving a waxen smile to Yelena.

She didn’t buy a second of it.

“Ava…”

“I’ll break it all down in two minutes,” she said, scooting further away from Yelena. She felt her phone buzz– sooner than she thought. Benefit of having an an entire team of super soldiers, she supposed.

“Got EMMMMM” from Johnny Walker with a picture of the criminals with John holding up a shaka sign with his tongue out. Ava sighed and shamelessly zoomed in on the image, while mumbling to Yelena, “Okay, they’re all good. Finished super quickly– it’ll be easier to explain when we’re all together.”

At that, Yelena flops back onto the bed. It looks like Alexei has sent her a picture too– one of him knuckling at the heads of both of the tech bros. Now that it’s clear everyone is safe, Yelena seems more willing to go with the flow of Ava’s strange attitude.

“Let’s order room service, though,” she says to her, flipping on the television and skimming the channels.

“Sounds good. Channel 27– there’s a weird cartoon you’ll love,” Ava says, smoothing her hands over her slip and sliding deeper under the covers for another five minutes of rest. She’ll take what she can get these days. Besides– she’s curious if she can still dream. 

—

She woke up, feeling a weight shifting on the edge of her bed. She rubbed her eyes only to see John sitting above her, scrolling through his phone like always. Ava reached over and grabbed the phone out of his hand.

“Do I need to phase this into the floor again?” she asked him, hoping that she sounded normal enough. But John was so close to her– she resisted the urge to throw herself against him and beg him to hold her. He smiled a little shyly at her.

“No. Promise– I was just looking at some pictures of Connor,” he said. “Miss him.”

Ava handed the phone back to him after this admission, feeling sparks as their fingers brushed.

“Wait– it’s noon already?” she asked John, noticing the time on his display. He nodded at her.

“Yeah. From what Yelena told me it sounded like you had a weird morning? The mission couldn’t have been easier thanks to you, so I told her to let you sleep in a little. You usually feel better when you do.”

It was so kind , so unexpectedly thoughtful– Ava burst into a sudden bout of tears. John immediately looked horrified, and jumped off of the bed.

“Whoa,” he said, blinking and looking around the room as Ava curled into a ball, clutching one of the pillows to her chest. What could she even say to him, to the team right now? She didn’t deserve an ounce of their kindness. She thought the right thing to do would be to shove John away, repeat every morning the way she did today and disappear once she knew everyone was safe. She started to shimmer a bit before John seemed to snap out of his confused daze.

“Hey– hey! No!” he slid back onto the bed, carefully hovering a hand over her back. “Stay with me, Aves,” he said. He looked behind him and shouted, “Yelena!” and a moment later the hotel door was open, and Yelena was coming to sit on the opposite end of her bed. Ava twisted her eyes shut through their tears and shook her head furiously like a child.

“I– I can’t,” Ava heaved. Yelena grabbed one of Ava’s hands, holding it to her heart. 

“Ava– whatever it is, we are here– we are all here,” she kept repeating, unknown to her that it just twisted the hot poker of guilt deeper into Ava’s chest. John was rubbing soothing circles on her back, smoothing her hair off her forehead.

“Take a minute, Ava. Talk when you’re ready,” he murmured to her, taking a swift second to lay a stealthy kiss on top of her head. Yelena raised an eyebrow at him but he ignored that.

How could she be ready? How could she look her team in the face and explain to them that one of them had died at least a hundred times because she was too lazy to look out for them?

“I know it might sound crazy,” Ava sniffled, wiping her eyes on the hotel’s crisp sheets. “So please just go along with me here for a moment– but I’m stuck in a time loop,” she said, looking between them. Her eyes were wide, remembering the horrible morning when John didn’t believe her. She didn’t want to have to leverage the memory of his dead brother today of all days, let alone in front of Yelena.

“A… time loop?” Walker repeated, crinkling his eyebrows.

“Yes,” Ava said, looking between the two. “I’ve been repeating this day for… god, I don’t know. Months now?” 

“The same day? Like, Groundhog Day?” John asked.

“Yeah,” Ava nodded. Yelena nodded slowly back at her.

“Okay… so that’s how you knew how to handle the mission so quickly,” she looked at John. “Why you lied about Walker texting you first– you just knew how to handle the mission by now?” 

“Yes,” Ava sighed. “We handled this once a while ago– I had John take the lead like the last time it worked. The first time we went in all together and I got shot with one of the dealer’s weapons– the blue one. We’ve found out it’s from outer space. The Asgardians might know more about it,” Ava explained. 

“So you’re saying you got shot with that gun and now you’re stuck in this loop because of that?” John clarified. 

“Exactly,” Ava nodded, feeling slightly relieved that Yelena and John were following along and not laughing at her.

“Okay.. so…” John looked over at Yelena.  “Easy solution. I shoot myself with the gun and jump in to help Ava. We’ll work together as a team. Two minds are better than one,” John shrugged as if the answer was obvious. Ava’s eyes bugged out of her head.

“No– absolutely not–”

“Why just you, Walker, huh? The whole team can help. If we all get in the loop and work together, we all get out sooner,” Yelena clapped her hands together. “Let’s grab the gun,” she said, rising up, moving away from the bed. Ava scrambled out from under the covers, jerking away from John’s touch.

“No!” She shouted at them, phasing her way in front of the hotel room door, and drawing one of her own guns from a side table.

“If you think there’s even a chance I’m risking any of you getting stuck here forever with me, you’re even more insane than I thought,” she hissed, aiming at them both. Yelena and John paused, slowly raising their own hands up.

“I have had this team go through enough because of this stupid loop. I’ve been foolish and selfish and it ends today,” Ava said, eyeing the two carefully. “I don’t want anyone else to die for me again, but if you do something stupid like shoot yourself with that gun, I’ll kill us all and reset the day again. That will work for me, but who knows what happens to you both,” Ava threatened.

John’s head cocked to the side, hands falling down– Ava couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed at the way he treated her like she wasn’t a threat.

“Someone died ?” John said disbelievingly. “What the fuck has been going on in your loop?”

Ava wagged the gun back at Yelena and John, motioning them both to sit on the bed. She perched on the end of it, gun still trained steady on the two.

“It’s been really bad, John,” she said softly. “I want to… apologize. I know neither of you have any memory or experience of this, but the only way I can keep moving on and working on getting myself out of here is to get it off my chest, okay?”

She wanted to slide the gun behind her for this part but with these two she knew that would be a stupid risk. She looked directly at Yelena, only having the strength to take this one at a time.

“Alexei has died. A lot. Nearly every time other than the first few,” Ava said to her friend, watching her lips part and brows draw together.

“But… why? What happened?” Yelena asked.

“Because I’m a selfish bitch who got mad at you lot for denying me a vacation,” god, it really did sound even worse out loud. “I’ve been skipping out on the team every day and wandering around the city… and country. I’ve let it get out of hand. It’s really been… god, maybe six months? Maybe more? But I only learned two loops ago, I promise,” Ava said, leaning forward, taking Yelena’s hand in her own. Yelena doesn’t hold hers back but doesn’t yank it away either.

“I should’ve checked on the team to make sure the mission was completed without me. I should’ve done this every morning instead of just slipping away… I just…” Ava’s voice began to crack again. “I didn’t realize, Yelena, I promise, I didn’t!” 

Yelena nodded at her, lip quivering slightly before Ava could see her locking her shoulders and steeling herself.

“I believe you,” Yelena said, taking her hand away from Ava’s. “I do. And you are very lucky I cannot remember, because I don’t know if I could forgive you if I did.” 

Ava nods, the tears hot on her cheeks. She gets it.

“But I don’t. So I do. Today, you have saved him. It is okay, but we need to get you out of this. Now, before anything like that could stick,” Yelena nods, looking at John, who Ava dares to turn to. He looks a little shocked, but not angry. His eyes dart away when she looks at him and she wonders if she saw hurt there too. “You need to take your gun off me,” Yelena said. “I won’t shoot myself with the weapon–”

“Not agreeing to that,” John muttered.

“ I won’t shoot myself– but we need to make a plan. Let me get Alexei and Bucky– we can call Val, start doing some research,” Yelena said to Ava directly. “Have we done this before?”

Ava nodded. “Yes, once. This is the closest to that day. If you could get those resources for me again– it’s been a while, it’s hard to remember?”

“Sure,” Yelena nodded and jumped out of bed. She paused and pointed at Ava, “I will not be telling Alexei about this, okay? It will only make him very annoying. Not worth the trouble. Consider my forgiveness his as well, da?”

“Works for me,” Ava sighed. Yelena gave her a sharp nod before leaving the room. Ava cocked her head for a short moment– she was forgiven. She could keep moving. She could stay with her team, call Bill, call Bob– work the problem. She’d seen enough of Paris for a lifetime as far as she was concerned.

“How’d Alexei die?” John’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she looked up at the large man nestled at the head of her bed. He was still wearing his tac pants, but had a black athletic t-shirt on now instead of the top of the suit. He hadn’t showered yet, but he didn’t look all that dirty, it was an easy mission after all. 

“The mission went sideways I guess. I don’t know exactly. I wasn’t there. One of the guns does,” Ava gestured at herself. “This to you. The other was probably just… lethal in some way. I know it had some kind of electric surge– they used it to disarm Bucky a few other times. It’d be enough to kill a super soldier, I guess.” She shuddered a bit. “I wouldn’t really want to continue to test that if I didn’t have to though.”

John’s gaze softened as he shook his head at her. “No, Aves. We’re not doing that. Only if it’s a last resort… I don’t want you to have to see anything else like that. We’re a team. That’s… fucked up.”

Ava looked down at the bedding and ran her fingers over her gun idly. 

“Didn’t see it technically– just swung by to see you all last night. I wanted to just make sure everyone was in bed, safe. Bit of a gut punch when it wasn’t the case,” she admitted. “Yelena looked like she was dying. You wanted to kill me.”

“We talked?” John asked.

“Yes. No. Kind of?” Ava huffed. “I… avoided the conversation.”

“What does that mean?” John asked flatly.

“I threw myself off a roof to avoid dealing with you. And my guilt. And shame,” she added. John’s jaw slowly began to drop a bit.

“Ava. What the fuck.”

“It’s not like it’s a big deal.”

“How many times have you offed yourself now?” A redness began to spread up John’s neck. A vein on the side of it started twitching.

“Only maybe a dozen or so times? I’ve been bad about keeping track of things. It all just… blurs together pretty quickly,” Ava said, wagging a hand around because the truth was just apparently pouring out of her now. John looked like he wanted to throttle her.

“Well, fucking stop ,” he demanded, Ava cocked the gun at him again, raising her brow. She was starting to get worried he’d throw her across the room and sprint out of there to get to the weapon. 

“It’s not like I do it for fun ,” Ava tried to defend herself. “It’s just… easier? Sometimes? Especially if I need a quick reset.”

“Well, what if it stops for good after you’ve killed yourself sometime, then? What then?” he said.

“Then, I’d be dead,” Ava said dryly. 

“And so will I,” John shouted back. Ava flinched hard at that, remembering the way John followed her off the ledge. John seemed to sense that he pushed too far. “I’m sorry… I mean, I don’t mean it, uh, like that.” he tried.

Yes, you do , Ava remembered the way he jumped after her just a couple resets ago. Her stomach squirmed at the thought that she was starting to know John in a better and deeper way than she did on the day's initial iteration. What would he think when she made it out and knew all about him? Knew him maybe years longer, and felt for him even more deeply than she had thought possible– would he be freaked out and disgusted at the sudden depth of her feelings for him? The way she was starting to get better at reading his thoughts? If she thought they were close before… she had been getting to know him in an even deeper unfiltered kind of way here. He was being more open with her than he’d ever dared to be. Ever the soldier, always a closed book. It made her want to push herself away from him but she was so starved for his attention that she knew it’d be impossible today. 

“It’s okay, John,” she said. “I’ll promise that I can try to stop killing myself unless it’s completely necessary if you promise you won’t shoot yourself with that gun today.”

“What makes you think I won’t just shoot myself with it after midnight when you can’t stop me?” he questioned.

“Then you’ll be stuck in a different loop than me. Different day. You’d be stuck there for god knows how long. And then we’d never get back on the same path together,” she said, and looked at him  and thought of the words he’d said to her months ago. “I don’t want us to be growing apart from one another. It’s bad enough that I’m in here, but I can’t have you trying to stray too. Please,” she said, daring to lower the gun slightly. 

“Fine,” John said. “I’m agreeing to this now because I’m trusting my other selves to annoy you about it in the future,” he stated. 

“I have no doubt they will,” Ava agreed, laying the gun on the bedside table.

“Like… I think you’re underestimating me here. I’d be really good in a time loop,” he said, smoothing his hair back.

“Oh, really?” Ava quipped. 

“Yeah. I’m very organized. I’d keep a spreadsheet. Make it every morning. I’d track our progress, it would be very efficient. We could do some math, look at some rough numbers and calculate how long it’d take to get us out of there. Plan accordingly,” he nodded at her. “I’ve been held captive before. I kept track of the days, food, guard rotations–" he frowned as she started laughing. “Don’t doubt my military experience here! It could be very valuable!”

Ava continued to laugh at him but privately agreed. He was much more organized than her and he’d be able to help her keep track of just how long this whole ordeal could take. She felt disgusted with herself as she shifted her thighs slightly at the thought of waking up with John every morning as he organized some kind of meticulous spreadsheet. Pathetic. Truly pathetic.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said, crawling her way up to him at the top of the bed. She rolled the edge of the duvet over herself and pulled it up to her chin, sighing. She really did feel better. John nudged his way over so their bodies brushed against each other. She rolled to her side to face him, but he was already staring at her. 

“Hi,” she breathed, suddenly very aware of just how close they were. If she closed her eyes, she could almost flash back to all those months ago, well before this day when they were in Hong Kong pretending to be married. 

It was an op that Val had sent them on to schmooze with some billionaire who she was convinced had tapes of her stored somewhere on his yacht. He was obsessed with other glamorous, powerful figures and threw a party for couples every year where he sailed them out onto the bay and Val needed them to secure an invite so they could snoop through the ship. She had them pretend that they were on a honeymoon after hiding and maintaining a secret relationship during their time in the New Avengerz. She had him catch them canoodling in a private cabana at the pool of a luxury hotel, only for Ava and John to graciously forgive him for walking in on their private moment if he promised to keep their secret. He’d been so excited to have a chance of not only inviting a pair of superheroes to his event, and they teased him into thinking that maybe they’d be willing to make their public debut at his party.

Every night at the hotel as things felt more and more real as John and her held hands, rings rubbing against each other, John pulled her hair behind her ear and whispered softly against it, pretending he was saying sweet nothings but actually joking about the other hotel guests in the lobby, John holding her against his chest in the piano bar, fingers stroking her tiny wrists against his chest. The way he whispered to her, “It’s all starting to feel so real, Ava…”

She blinked a few times, shoving the memories back. 

“I think I’m supposed to spend the rest of the day working on research and studying,” she said to him. 

“Sure,” John agreed, his gaze never breaking from her own that darted around the room. 

“I think I should get up and do that. Check in with Bucky and Alexei. Maybe call Bob, even Mel and Val,” she recited reasons to get out of the bed.

“Of course,” John said, continuing to lay flat on his back, head turned to her.

“John,” she whispered. 

“You said you’ve been in there for months?” he questioned.

“Yes.”

“How many? Three? Four?”

“More,” she said.

“Six?” he asked, face pinching. 

She closed her eyes.

“More. I’ve lost count. I really can’t say,” she admitted. His head inched closer to hers.

“I have to ask,” he said, pupils blown wide.

“Have I gotten to kiss you yet?” his tongue barely darted out, touching his pink bottom lip. Ava closed her eyes. 

“We can’t,” she said.

“Answer my question.”

“No. Not in here,” she said. 

“Not here,” he repeated hotly. “So it was still only in–”

“Hong Kong,” she beat him.

“Okay,” he said, throat bobbing. “Okay. And you’ve been alone here for months. You haven’t been with anyone else?”

“I’ve been here alone, there’s been no one, but John–”

“C’mere,” John twisted onto his side a bit, sliding his large arm out and inviting Ava into his grip. She was helpless to roll into it. She didn’t care that he felt like a furnace on this hot summer day, it was all she could do not to melt into his embrace and start rubbing and purring up against him like a cat. He started stroking her hair, rubbing the nape of her neck. The feeling of her body clad in only her silk slip against his rough tac pants was delicious. 

“Have you been lonely?” he asked. Ava was shocked to hear herself whimper at him, but wouldn’t answer.

“Can I give you a kiss, honey? Just one? Just to make you feel better?” he inched closer to her and she felt his minty breath against her lips. 

“Just to make me feel better?” he asked instead, and her resolve crumbled. She nodded at him desperately and he carefully slid her closer, rubbing his nose against her own. She felt his beard brushing her cheek and sighed, bringing her hands up to pet it.

“Johnny,” she whispered, lips just barely brushing his.

“I know, honey, I’m here now,” he said before brushing his lips against hers again, taking a breath against her and finally, finally , sealing against her own in a kiss. Ava immediately sighed into it, sucking his lower lip between her own, kissing it over and over as John eagerly kissed her back, arms enveloping her. She felt so tiny in his grip, legs twisting to rub against his own. She felt like an awkward teenager– she didn’t quite know what to do with all of the enthusiasm she had for him and basically just clung to him desperately, letting him take the lead.

He took a breath for a second, sliding his hands down to her waist.

“That’s right, Ava, that’s my girl,” he encouraged. Ava licked a stripe up his neck, tongue flicking against his ear, rolling her body against him before he leaned back down and captured her mouth with his own again, this time absolutely devouring her. Tongue sliding into her mouth roughly, stroking her own as Ava shook and rutted against his hip.

“Oh, fuck,” John groaned, eloquent as ever. Ava’s hips bumped against one of his zippers and she let out a loud moan, shocking herself– and John too, by the way his eyes widened cartoonishly at her. 

“Aves, right now ,” John gasped, jerking her aside, getting above her and laying her below him, ready to rut against her. And she’d let him. She’d let him right now. She’s never wanted anything so badly in her life so of course–

Ava phases her way out from under him, appearing across the bedroom standing in front of the mirror looking absolutely wrecked, hair pulling out of her braid, lips kiss swollen. She holds up her hands, motioning for him to stop and he does immediately, breathing ragged, standing up on his knees on the bed, pants tented.

“I can’t go any further John, I can’t. I shouldn’t have even done this. It feels wrong ,” Ava said, forcing herself to look away from him. It really didn’t– it felt so right to every bone in her body, every part of her wanted this. She just wanted John to remember too. It felt unfair , was really the right word. But saying that was the only way she could make herself stop this now. She doesn’t see the look of hurt that crossed his face but maybe if she did, it’d make up for the way he hurt her in Hong Kong– a pain that was lying fresh in her memory as her body ached to throw itself back into John’s arms. 

She walked over to the bathroom, sliding the door half shut, trusting John not to get up and sneak a peek as she changed out of her slip into her pants and tank top. 

“I’m going to Bucky’s room to see what they’ve got for me. I’m… sorry. But we can’t. Not today,” she said. 

As she walked out of the room she heard Walker mutter under his breath. “So what, not ever?” and her heart sank even further at the low blow.