Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Buck couldn't think – she couldn't breathe.

Compartmentalise, come on Buckley! She internally berated herself, not hearing Athena call after her or Bobby – no, Nash, not Bobby, not anymore, maybe not ever again – loudly sighing over her apparent ‘overreaction’ over the roaring in her ears.

She had got up when he had continued spouting some… bullshit about how she was a liability in the field until he said otherwise, finally fessing up to the fact that it was HIM, it was him ALL ALONG who was keeping her from her job!

She could hear her own heartbeat thundering in her ears.

Her palms were clammy, slipping a little as she grasped her car keys tighter so as not to drop the damn things as she beeped open her car.

She was still getting used to it – it was jarring, not having her old jeep.

That damn thing had seen her through a lot. 

And of course it was a tsunami of all things that finally killed it, washing it out to sea where it probably lay with the mounds of other debris the sea has stolen in its wanton destruction that day.

Her hand slipped as she pulled the door open, jarring her nails uncomfortably against it and grimacing at the sensation. Damn, she hated that.

Still – she got the door open and pulled herself inside, slamming the door and reaching out to engage the central locking before she did anything else, key automatically jammed into the ignition but not yet turning it.

Then she clasped both hands around her steering wheel, leaned her head forwards onto it and took a moment to just breathe.

Right. Next move – what was her next move?

Clearly, her so-called Captain was a waste of time – he evidently wasn't about to help her by his own admission, and she had long since realised he was not someone who ever liked admitting he was wrong.

She didn't see him doing so anytime soon about this either, not going by the utter nonsense he had been spouting as apparent justification for the shit he was currently pulling.

Rooster was deployed and who even knew when he would see a message from her… She needed help now, so he was out as an immediate solution.

Maddie was evidently out as well – Lord knew she had been campaigning to get Buck to quit firefighting, and she had been less than impressed when Buck had ignored her attempts to gaslight her into ignoring her doctors recommendations of getting another surgery when her body wasn't reacting well to the rod and screws they had initially put in after the truck bombing.

Hell, she was probably right behind Bobby in supporting this nonsense as well.

So Chimney was out too, always more eager to think with his dick rather than his brain. Besides, he barely tolerated her anyway and was only vaguely nice to her once he decided he wanted to get into her sister's pants.

Gross.

No, she knew better than to go to him for help – and he was the station union rep too. She had wondered about that over the years, because why would anyone want to go to the most caustic member of their shift for aid? When she had attempted to report a department therapist trying to molest her, the bastard had laughed it off and made it into a running joke!

God, she despised the man sometimes, she really did…

Anyway, it wouldn't matter even if she did trust him – he wasn't about to disagree with or go against Maddie's wishes, and she had made those more than clear.

Why on earth she thought she had any right to any say in what Buck did or didn't do with her own life was anyone's guess.

Hen was out too – she'd most likely go with whatever Chimney therefore Maddie was telling her. Plus, who knew what Chimney and Bobby had been spouting at the station about her!

If this was any indication of the narrative Bobby had been pressing…

Yeah no. Hen would be no help.

As for Eddie… well, he hadn't really been an option for a while now, not really.

God knew the man needed therapy. He could barely help himself, she was not about to try to get support from him.

Tommy was on shift.

Sal and Gina had just had a baby so she wasn't about to spill her emotions or problems all over them.

She supposed…

Well, there was one man who was – potentially – immediately available. And if he wasn't physically, he was far enough removed from the situation and had already offered and delivered on actual help and support so far so…

Pulling out her phone and sitting back up, she fired off a text with shaking hands.

It took her longer than it usually would, what with her fingers refusing to cooperate fully and her phone auto correcting to stupid things. And why did that always happen when you really needed it NOT to?!

Plus, there was just something about the man that had her not wanting to mess up even a text too badly for him.

There were very few people she respected, but the Iceman was definitely one of them.

Sorry to ask, but can I stay at yours tonight? Just got some news and don't trust myself alone.

It didn't take long for the reply to come through, which she was – admittedly – a little surprised by.

Then again, what time even was it? How long had she been at that farce of a friendly dinner before everything had gone to hell? 

Come straight here

She loved him. She loved him so much.

Finally shifting her car out of gear, she turned the key in the ignition and took a moment as the engine purred to life.

Right. Deep breath in – deep breath out.

Glancing once at the house behind her, she saw Athena framed in the door – watching, but doing nothing to actually check on or aid her.

Guess Buck should have figured where her loyalties lay, and why shouldn't she believe her husband over the young woman she had seemed to dislike from the get go? Sure, her attitude switch into apparently trying to take on a motherly role had been weird, but Buck hadn't been taking her on and maybe that had pissed her off.

Whatever – if Athena wanted to listen to her lying husband and leave her common sense and critical thinking skills at the door then that was her problem. Buck may have been starting to settle into trusting the pair, but that was sure as hell out the window now.

Buck did not trust easily. And once you lost her trust? Well, it was gone.

Oh she would be able to work with them on shift (assuming she ever got back that is),fine, she thought – but anything else?

Nope. 

There was no sign of Nash – shocking.

Probably too busy shaking his head over the food still on the table and Buck’s ‘childishness’.

Damn, she was probably playing right into his hands by just walking out on him and not letting him get whatever sermon he was working up to out.

God, but she hated how condescending and… infantalising he could be towards her.

Still. It was good to know for certain now, shaky as it had already been – Robert Nash was not to be trusted.

Shifting her car into gear, Buck pulled out into traffic again – not that there currently was any moving in the street – scowling at Athena in her rearview mirror.

She doubted the woman could see her. Still – it made Buck feel a bit better, more firm in her resolve and cutting of any ties of trust (fraying and weak as they were, never having had a chance to really take root within her) between herself and the Grant-Nashes.

She drove off with her head still spinning but one goal clear in her mind: get to Ice and Sarah's, don't do anything stupid.

Nothing else mattered right now.

She would figure out what to do next when she got there.

When she did arrive, Sarah was waiting for her, brow furrowed in concern.

She took one look at her sort-of future daughter in law and immediately pulled her into a tight embrace.

Buck burst into tears.

Chapter Text

Sarah Kazansky was a patient woman – hard won patience, being the wife of a naval aviator who had climbed the ranks to a four star Admiral and his health scare, and mother of two of her own and then taking in an angry, depressed pre-teen who had lost both his parents far too young.

While she would give anything for Nick and Carole to have lived and got to raise their son, to see the wonderful man he had grown up to be, she would never regret taking Bradley in. Not even with all the trouble it brought, and the nights where she herself had cried herself to sleep – knowing that that lost little boy was doing the same just down the hall.

But Bradley was strong – he had overcome everything life had thrown in his path, and he had come out the other side stronger than ever.

She knew he didn't even remember his father – had held him while he had cried about it, while he had panicked about forgetting his mother too. Tom had never asked to be called Dad, just as she had never asked to be called Mom – though they had each loved that boy as if he was their own.

She would never regret taking him in – the thought of not doing so, of letting him get lost in the system as he had had no other surviving biological family to take him in beyond elderly grandparents who he didn't even know and who had been deemed unsuitable anyway was unfathomable to her. And if he has gone to live with those grandparents of his… well, his father's mother and father had both passed within a couple years of Carole themselves. So that would have been yet more trauma and upheaval for the young boy.

Sarah would never have guessed she would become so close to the wife of the aviator Tom felt he himself had killed – a guilt he had never let go of, and that Mav hadn't either. Both thinking they were to blame, neither willing to accept the sweeping away the brass has done of it being merely a ‘training accident'.

She had met the other woman when both their husbands were called to Top Gun, and they had hit it off. They had really become close after Mav and Tom had, Mav being Bradley's godfather and helping as much as he could with little Bradley who had only been two at the time.

Sarah didn't know if she would have been able to handle it, and she had admired Carole’s strength to go on: twenty four years old, her husband dead, no surviving family of her own and a two year old who had just lost his father.

Tom had helped when he could, and Sarah had been glad to help herself. She and Carole had become close, and, both living in L.A. close to the naval base for convenience, they had formed a fast friendship.

She missed her friend to this day. The bright, vivacious blonde she had been, full of life and love, and the frail shell of herself she had been at the end as the cancer slowly but surely took everything she was.

She hated hospitals.

But Bradley had come to them, and, somehow, they had all pulled out the other side and thrived together. Sure, there were hiccups – Bradley was a child who had lost everything, he was angry and scared and so, so sad. Sarah had despaired of ever being enough to help him some days, but when he had smiled, when he had laughed, when he had hugged her with everything he had.. It made it all worth it, to see her friend's son alive and flourishing and happy. Her own children had struggled with the transition too – they knew Bradley, of course they did, but it was different suddenly having him living with them full time, and their parents' attention split with him as well now. And she knew they had felt overshadowed, unseen, especially those early days when she and Tom had had to focus so much on Bradley.

But they had got through it, as a family. They had grown together, and Bradley had become one of them through all but blood.

Then there was that setback with Mav and trying to derail his godson's chosen career and future – his dreams. And Sarah… got it, she supposed. Carole had asked on her deathbed that Mav keep her baby safe – she understood all too well the terror of having a loved one in the armed forces. She just disagreed with how Mav went about it.

Tom hadn't even known, so he hadn't been able to do anything to stop it. Which, really, had probably been the point.

But it had worked out in the end, even though Bradley had been set back four years – and hadn't spoken to Maverick beyond a few screaming sessions early on ever since, as far as she knew.

Sarah had been worried she and Tom and his pseudo siblings would be cut off as well.

Luckily, they hadn't been – though with everyone moving out and on with their lives, contact did inevitably drop off a bit as time went on, but contact had not been cut entirely. Thank God…

Still – over time, Sarah couldn't bring herself to entirely regret Maverick's actions.

Because setting him back four years had brought Evan Buckley into Bradley – now Rooster's – life. 

And Sarah wouldn't change that for anything.

The one thing she, as a mother, wanted for her children in life – both biological and claimed – was to be happy, to be loved.

And good God, if those two didn't make each other happy.

So she had been thrilled when Buck had told her she was moving to the reserves, and, after some travelling, had moved to L.A.

Sarah wasn't really all that big on social media – she tended to keep her own online presence small, what with 1. not being overly interested in over sharing, and 2. being the wife of the Goddamn Admiral of the Pacific Fucking Fleet (and yes, in their household that was his official title. It was rarely, if ever, shortened to the generally used COMPACFLT). 

However, she did quickly catch on to following Buck's career as a firefighter when she joined up and rather quickly went viral.

Trending as the ‘Queen of Fire', she had quite an impressive following Sarah was pretty sure the young woman didn't even know about. It was not, after all, she herself who posted things – rather, it seemed to be a following of curious people about sightings of her.

Needless to say, the bomb that had injured her leg and put her out of work for months had been quickly connected to her and outpourings of support flooded social media.

The same thing happened when people realised she had been in the tsunami.

So Sarah knew that Buck was recertified, that she was ready to go back to work – she was doing good, she was in therapy for what she had been through, she was chomping at the bit to return to her station but hadn't been getting clear answers on just when that would be or why she wasn't back yet when her disability pay and workers comp had been ended upon her recertifying and being cleared.

Which is why Sarah had not at all been prepared for the text from Tom telling her Buck was on her way over and that something had happened, but he didn't know what. 

A Buck who promptly burst into tears at the sight of her waiting to welcome her in was not something she had been expecting, but she was quick to gather the young woman into her arms and give her the type of motherly hug she so clearly needed but that Sarah had been able to piece together fairly quickly after initially meeting her she had most likely never received from her own mother.

Oh dear. Oh, this wasn't good at all.

Her own heart hammering in her chest now, Sarah resolved to hold the young woman for as long as she needed it. Tom was on his way home, and she didn't want to have to make Buck retell whatever was going on twice.

Thank the Lord none of her children were home just now. While she had no doubt they would support Buck – they had been a great help while the young woman was injured, and had even helped convince her to stay here rather than in her loft apartment with no aid and limited mobility – she thought that a larger audience was likely not what Buck needed right now.

No, a nice cup of tea and a supporting ear, a shoulder to cry on – they would get her through this. 

And Sarah was fully prepared to rain hell down on whoever had caused her honorary daughter this much pain, so help her God!

By the time Tom returned and let himself in, Buck had calmed down and cleaned herself up. Sarah had bustled her over to the couch before she disappeared into the kitchen, then returned with three steaming mugs of herbal tea, having heard Tom's car pull in.

She entered the living room at the same time as he did, greeting her husband of many years with a smile and a worried tilt of her head in Buck's direction.

He gave a wordless grimace in reply, indicating that he knew as much as she did, and kissed her on the cheek before relieving her of the cup she held out to him and going to take a seat in the armchair that had long since been designated as ‘his’.

Buck glanced up from the phone she had been scrolling on with a frown, and accepted the mug handed out to her with a small smile and a word of thanks. She looked over at Tom as Sarah settled herself on the sofa beside her, frowning slightly as her joints protested.

It was no joke, this getting older rubbish.

“Hey Ice. I uh, I'm sorry to text you like that. Th-thanks for letting me come here…” 

He waved aside her apologies with a slight cough, “Nonsense ,” He assured her, voice hoarse as it ever was these days after his cancer scare. “You're always welcome here Buck.”

She flushed slightly, and ducked her head with a small, shy smile. They had been trying to convince her of her place with them… pretty much since they had met her, actually, but her past and own experiences with ‘family’ didn't lend themselves to helping her believe that.

“Now.” Tom fixed Buck with a steely look, and Sarah reached out to clasp and squeeze her closest hand. “What happened?”

Buck glanced between them both, swallowed, and began to explain.

“I, um, I had dinner with my captain – well, former captain,” She corrected bitterly, and already alarm bells were ringing in Sarah's head. “He and his wife invited me over – I thought maybe we were to discuss when I can get back to work, y’know? What else I needed to do for the Brass to finally let me back into the field after being cleared medically and psychologically and breaking records recertifying,”

“Robert Nash, right?” Tom sipped at his tea, a calculating gleam in his eye that Sarah clocked immediately.

Buck didn't seem to notice – or if she did, she didn't say anything. “Yeah. Um, he's married to a police Sargent, Athena Grant. Anyway, so I get there, and they're making small talk – inconsequential things, y-y’know? And Athena tries to serve me some collared greens, I decline due to the blood thinners from the surgery, and somehow that gets us onto my health. Athena gives Nash this look right, like – I dunno, and makes some comment about being pleased I'm taking my health seriously. As if I haven't been watching what I ingest since the initial surgery? It's not like this is new, and I'm already being weaned off them! Anyway, I start talking, ask what else I need to do, something about if we could do a petition or something with people saying I'm ready to be back since I'm not getting any straight answers, and –!”

“Breathe, dear,” Sarah soothed, and Buck obediently took a moment. Recentering herself, she took a sip of her tea and closed her eyes for a moment.

Sighing, she opened her eyes again and looked round at them. “Nash is the one who's been being… liaison, I guess? He's who I was told to contact about my ongoing status, along with a woman from HR who has also been less than helpful. So any information I had came from them, and they both say I'm not cleared yet but haven't given me any answers as to what else I need to do. I mean, I'm cleared by the Navy already, what more do the L.A.F.D. want?!

“And I thought that that was the Brass's decision, y’know? I thought…”

Tom's eyes sharpened. “It's not the brass? I've been wondering…”

“No.” Buck said grimly. “It's not the brass keeping me out of the field, like Nash has been telling me. It's Nash.”

Sarah blinked, startled. “The captain?” She asked, “Can he even do that?!”

“No.” Tom said grimly. “He can't – it's not his call to make. He can raise concerns, I believe, and possibly choose not to put you back on his shift’s roster. But he cannot deny your return to work categorically – that's above his pay grade, not to mention illegal. From what you've mentioned before, you've asked about moving to a different shift or even station if there was no immediate availability on your old shift, yes?”

“Yeah. And he flat out denied that too, said the Brass hadn't cleared it.”

“Hm. Yet he says he is the one who gets to decide?”

Buck shrugged, looking miserable. “Apparently. I just… I don't know what to do?! I mean, what does he even want from me?!”

“Did he give any reasoning tonight beyond his typical hiding behind the brass?”

She shrugged. “Not really – not anything that made sense. He kept making remarks about me not caring about my own health, and being a liability – said he had twenty other firefighters to think about, and that I would just be a danger in the field. Said the medication was the reason, but that's bullshit because I've already been cleared to work on it and it's not like I will be for much longer. When I pointed that out he just sort of… scoffed, and said I didn't know that and that due to my own stupidity I would be on the thinners for the foreseeable future.”

“He said what?!”

She just shrugged again, frowning slightly. “It was… weird. Like, he seemed to be saying that something else had happened, something that I had caused? He mentioned something about clots – blood clots, I'm assuming – and how I had caused them but… I mean, I haven't had any? They were concerned the rod and screws would cause some which is partly why they did the bone graft surgery, but it's not as if I haven't been on blood thinners since the incident and I've been following all the prevention guidance as well! But apparently I was reckless with my health and pushed too much? I, uh, I don't really know – I uh, I didn't stick around to find out what the hell he was talking about…

“But it was w-weird, guys. Like – there seemed to be some kind of apparently common knowledge that I was missing? I felt like I was being scolded for something I hadn't even known I'd done? And then he was bitching about me not taking the ‘safe’ desk job he had organized for me as well,”

Tom let out a loud snort at that. “Sure, a ‘safe’ desk job. A sedentary one where you were at far more risk of developing life threatening blood clots than you were of being in any danger on a regular call where you would not be in any danger of bleeding out imminently from any random cut, because that's not how blood thinners work? Mmm.”

Buck offered the ghost of a smile at this, and continued on. “Right. Then he was going on about how surviving the tsunami made me feel like I was invincible, which – what the actual fuck?! It didn't make me feel invincible, it made me feel that me – and Chris – were going to die!” Sarah reached out and pulled her into a side hug, knowing she was still dealing with the guilt over taking the boy to the pier that day, and his falling back into the raging waters when they receded again.

For Nash to have accused her of that, on top of everything else…

She didn't see that relationship recovering any time soon, if ever.

And quite right too.

Buck took a few deep breaths, then sat up again with a quiet word of thanks. Tom and Sarah were happy to wait her out, each quietly fuming in their respective seats.

“What happened then?” Tom asked eventually, and she shrugged.

“I, uh, I kinda just… ran out of there,” Buck admitted with a flush, “I just… I couldn't process anything, y’know? I just… I needed to get out of there before I did something I probably wouldn't regret.”

Sarah smirked slightly at that, even as Tom nodded thoughtfully.

“Very well,” He murmured. “Tell me, has your so called team had any more contact with you recently than they did when you were here recovering?” 

Buck, shook her head. “Not really,” She admitted, "Though I do hear from the others on A-shift now and again, the so-called ‘family’ not so much. I mean, I've had the occasional text from Chimney berating me and telling me I should be listening to my sister, but that's nothing new. Eddie's dropped Chris off a couple times since the tsunami, but even that's stopped since Carla got back. At least I can still speak to the kid through Carla – he's struggling with the tsunami and losing his mom, but he doesn't want to worry his dad so he's not talking to him.”

“Diaz, right? Has he had therapy or any kind of counselling?”

Buck snorted at that. “No, and he needs it – and not just for his wife's death!” 

“He was the army medic, wasn't he?”

“Yeah,”

“Did he get any counselling when he left the army?”

Again, Buck shook her head. “No – I asked him, but he said Diaz men don't do therapy,” She rolled her eyes hard at this, and Sarah couldn't help but sympathize. “Honestly, he seems like he's had a lot of toxic masculinity bullshit hammered into him from birth, and it's doing a number on the guy. At least he seems like he's trying not to raise his son like that, but he's not helping the kid by trying to pretend everything's fine. He's going to explode some day and, honestly, he seems like he's getting closer and closer to it. He didn't even take long off after Shannon was killed – only enough time for her funeral, and no counselling.”

Tom looked surprised. “He had to pass a psych eval to return to the field though, didn't he?” Because that was just common sense, not to mention standard practice.

Sarah was glad mental health acknowledgment and care had come on as far as it had in their professions, having seen how badly it could affect people's lives, but there was still a long way to go unfortunately.

So she wasn't entirely surprised when Buck shook her head. “No, not as far as I know. Nash isn't big on his people actually having to do the work to return – plus, Han was interim captain at the time. Far as I know though, Nash didn't bother to correct that oversight when they handed him his job back on a silver platter."

“Was he the one who demanded you go to that therapist who tried to assault you?” Tom scowled frostily, and Buck grimaced.

“Yes. And he demanded three different psych evals this time too, while prevaricating my return.”

“Would you say he treats you differently than others?”

Buck snorted at that. “God yes! Usually it's just annoying, like, Eddie will do something on a call he gets praised for, but if I did it I would get reprimanded. But for the bigger stuff…”

“Hm.” Tom sipped at his tea, eyeing her thoughtfully. Then – “Do you want me to step in with them?”

Buck smiled at him, but shook her head. “Thanks, but no. I'm sure that would just have certain people whining about how I had you overrule everyone in your capacity as Admiral or something, insisting I wasn't listening to medical professionals and wouldn't take no for an answer or something,"

“Nepotism,” Sarah sighed, “Unfortunately, I'm sure there would be those in your so-called team at least who would cry that from what we know about them, not to mention the broader department. Have you gone to your union rep?”

Buck snorted at that. “Howard Han? Hell no – he's too interested in getting into my sister's pants to ever go against her wishes, and she doesn't want me to be a firefighter anymore. And what Maddie wants, Maddie gets…” 

Tom grimaced. “How the hell is that man still the union rep?! Wasn't he reported for his reaction to you reporting that bastard therapist?!”

“He was yeah – don't think anything came of that though,” Buck admitted. “He's got some narrative where I'm some attention seeking whore and good for nothing but my body, and somehow managed to worm his way out of consequences.”

“The man sexually harasses you – no, don't argue dear, that is what that is – and he just… gets away with it?!” Sarah was appalled, though not overly surprised.

She was well used to institutions like the Navy and the L.A.F.D. after all. 

Buck just shrugged. “He was bullied by his first captain and that team when he started,” She replied. “Seems to give him some sort of never ending ‘get out of jail free’ card or something,”

Sarah clucked disapprovingly, while Tom scowled, then looked thoughtful. “You said Nash was speaking about your medical information?”

“Well, a bunch of crap, but – yeah, I guess?”

“And he had told his wife?”

“Sure?”

“Is she on any of your paperwork?”

“Hell no – but neither is he,”

“And from what you said about Han and your sister, would you say they are also discussing it?”

“From what I've heard, I reckon the whole damn group is discussing it – because naturally, why talk TO me when they can just bitch ABOUT me, right?”

One grey eyebrow slowly rose. “So the man is spreading private information at the very least, breaking HIPPA – is your sister on the paperwork? I recall you mentioning she was campaigning for it, but did she ever manage?”

“She did not,” Buck rolled her eyes. “No, I made sure she wasn't on anything, and that the hospital had specific instructions not to tell her anything that I didn't personally authorize myself as I didn't trust her with it then and I sure as hell don't now.”

“Yet there are mentions of blood clots and your ‘overdoing it' and not listening to your sister…” Tom mused, and she just stared at him in surprise for a moment.

“You think… you think she's deliberately spreading false information?”

Tom shrugged. “Someone is.” He pointed out. “What I'm even more curious about is what the hell Nash is telling the Brass for them to be taking his word for it. And that HR rep? What's her angle?”

Buck shrugged. “I have no idea.”

“Well, Buck, I think you need to go over their heads and speak to someone else about this. Hell, speak to the chief if possible! As public as what you went through was, there realistically should be someone who is keeping on top of this.

“So where are they, and what the hell are they playing at?” He stated bluntly.

Buck chewed on her lip, looking both thoughtful and anxious and very young. Sarah felt a pang in her heart, love for this wonderful young woman sweeping through her. She was so honored that she felt comfortable enough with them to even show this vulnerability – she had come to learn that that was hard won trust from Buck.

“Right…” She said. “I'll, uh, I'll see if I can get a meeting with… someone, then…”

“Get a lawyer too.” Tom said bluntly, and she looked up at him in surprise.

“A lawyer? Why?!”

“So that you have someone who knows your rights.” He told her bluntly. “And who can collect the evidence and escalate if the situation calls for it. Someone – several someones, probably – has seriously fucked up here, kid. And I have a feeling Nash and that HR lady are at the centre of it. Hell, your sister too probably.”

She sighed, slumping down in the sofa and looking miserable. “This is going to be a shit storm, isn't it?”

“Probably.” He admitted. “You're about to kick over a hornets nest, and shit will hit the fan big time for a lot of people if people actually do their jobs this time.

“And that's another reason you're going to get a lawyer – so that someone ensures they actually do do their damn jobs this time.” He said grimly.

“Of course,” Sarah spoke up faux cheerfully. “You could always just kick it over and then leave – I'm sure the Navy wouldn't complain about having you back full time!”

Tom let out a gravely chuckle at that, while Buck laughed. “No, we would not,” He agreed, amused. “I'll never say no to more aviators on active duty. But,” He added with a gentle smile at her, “I know that's not what you want right now.”

She smiled back at him, grateful and affectionate. “I love flying, but I love being a firefighter too. So if there's any way I can actually get my damn job back… I mean, don't get me wrong, I've been enjoying working on the planes!” She added in a rush, having been working as a mechanic at Miramar as she had the know-how while she was signed off work as a firefighter so that she still had something to do and was making some form of income.

L.A. was not a place you didn't want to have that, and Robert Nash had better have a damn good reason for why he was denying her that right, or so help him God…

“But…”

“But firefighting is your purpose,” Tom finished for her, both amused and affectionate. “Indeed. Now, do you know other firefighters from other stations? Enough to reach out to them over this?”

She frowned slightly, “I mean, yeah? Hangman introduced me to an old friend of his when I joined the Academy here, and we became pretty good friends. Through him, I met his old field partner, who's a captain himself now.”

“Any chance either of them are their station's union rep?” Tom asked dryly, but was unsurprised when she shook her head. “Well, perhaps ask if they would let you know who is, and if they would be willing to meet. It, unfortunately, is generally easier to get a meeting if it's through someone you know rather than going through the slower official channels for things like this,” He added dryly, and she nodded obediently.

“Alright – thanks Ice. Actually,” She added, tilting her head thoughtfully, “Sal – the captain – his wife is a lawyer. Family law, but still – she may be able to recommend someone…”

Sarah smiled. “That sounds like a good question to ask, dear.”

Buck looked suddenly uncomfortable. “But I mean, I really don't want to burden them with my problems…” She fretted, “And Sal and Gina, they just had a baby, so…”

Sarah patted her hand kindly. “Sweetheart, it's not burdening them. If they are your friends and they can point you in the right direction, then I'm sure they will be happy to do so.”

Buck didn't look entirely convinced, but she didn't argue further.

They spent the remainder of the night brainstorming and just speaking about everything and nothing until they each retired, Buck not having put up much of a fight when Tom and Sarah had insisted she stay the night.

Morning would bring what it would bring, but at least Sarah would know that Buck was facing her day, starting her battle with a good breakfast in her.

Tommy and Sal had both come through for her when she had reached out to them, and had somehow managed to set up a meeting with the union reps of their stations that very afternoon. How, Buck didn't know – firefighters were notoriously hard to schedule, after all – but she was grateful nonetheless.

Sal was up to his eyeballs in changing dirty diapers, but Tommy had insisted on accompanying her to meet with them. Gina had also said she would reach out to a friend and colleague of hers who worked in workplace law, and would get back to her on that.

So it was that Buck found herself repeating the same story multiple times, before eventually she found herself sat before an IA investigator – lawyer at her side and the Union rep from the 217 who was appalled when he heard about what was happening to her present as well – and telling it again.

Luckily, Christopher Callahan seemed to be taking her complaints seriously. 

Chapter Text

So it was that Buck found herself repeating the same story multiple times, before eventually she found herself sat before an IA investigator – lawyer at her side and the Union rep from the 217 who was appalled when he heard about what was happening to her present as well – and telling her predicament again.

Luckily, Christopher Callahan seemed to be taking her complaints seriously. 

“Well,” Callahan was frowning as he flipped through papers once again. “This all does seem to be rather a mess doesn't it.”

Buck fought hard not to grit her teeth. She would like to think he wasn't just being a condescending prick, but so far her experiences with those who were supposed to be able to help her in the higher echelons of the LAFD rather negated that particular view. “Yes.” She said, and while she thought she did a pretty good job of keeping the growl out of her voice, she was less successful at not letting on about the gritting teeth – which he noticed, because of course he did.

He looked up, and actually gave her a kind smile. “Apologies, Ms Buckley, I didn't mean to make light of this. You seem to have been put in a frankly ridiculous situation, and it would appear there are several people involved in blocking you. Hell, if you did decide to sue,” He gave a pointed glance at the lawyer she had brought with her, who just gazed coolly back. “You would have an excellent case for constructive dismissal and discriminatory treatment. Just reading over brief notes it is clear Nash is clearly biased against you on multiple occasions. Do you have any idea why?”

She shrugged. “Not really. I mean, I know he never really liked me – I attributed that to my having been assigned to his station, rather than his having hand picked me. That belief was rather supported when he hand picked Diaz and pretty much told us all to worship the ground he walks on,” She couldn't help but add with an eyeroll. “I would assume it's due to my gender, but he doesn't treat other female firefighters on shift like he does me so I don't think that's it. Honestly, it might be my age – the way he and Han in particular go on sometimes, it's almost as if they view me as some 18 year old child fresh into the real world and not a decorated veteran with a lifetime of experiences already. Then again, my age as a reason is rather undermined by his worship of Saint Eddie – he's held up as some paragon and his experience in the military is acknowledged, and he's several months younger than I am.”

Callahan was frowning. “This is Eddie Diaz?” He flipped to a particular page, re-reading what was on there. “His wife died recently?”

“She did, yes – she was a casualty at a car crash we were called to. Eddie was on scene and rode in the bus with her to get to the hospital.”

“And they have a son together?”

“Yes – though from what I've gathered there was very little parenting done together.”

“Could you elaborate on that please? I would like as full a picture as possible for understanding where Nash is coming from and investigating that station as a whole,”

Buck shrugged, and saw no reason why she shouldn't answer his questions. Maybe Eddie would be pissed and claim she ‘betrayed’ him, but he had left her out to dry first.

If he came at her about having his back? Well, he couldn't deny that he had abandoned having her back first. She was done giving him the benefit of the doubt and handwaving away his lack of support and outright dismissals due to his own circumstances.

Besides, if it meant someone else – someone removed from the situation and the downright toxic (as she was increasingly recognising) mentality of that damn station – finally forcing him into therapy?

Then halle-bloody-lujah, God only knew the man needed it.

“His parents made them get married when they found out Shannon was pregnant, and then he joined the army both to earn them some money and to get away by his own admission. Shannon was on her own with his overbearing parents when he was deployed, and she left after he was injured out. Her mother was dying, so she came to L.A. to be with her – from what he told me, they had no contact after that. He reached out to her when his kids' new school wanted to speak with her – why he didn't just own up to their situation I don't know, he always avoided answering that. From what he told me they didn't even really work to resolve anything after being back in contact, just fell back into bed together. He did eventually let her see Chris some – their kid – and claimed they were working on being a family again. She had asked for a divorce before she died though – said she wanted to work on being a mother before she could be a wife, I think he said. But she died before they could discuss it more, and I think all that anger at her has just festered since, and become guilt at being angry at a dead woman.”

“I see…” He mused. “And Captain Nash, he didn't have anything to say on this? From reports I've heard on him in the past, he seems to have rather… puritanical beliefs when it comes to sexual relations, I can't imagine he was too impressed by a shotgun wedding due to an unplanned pregnancy?”

Buck just shrugged – she had wondered about that herself. “He's certainly lectured me often enough, and been very condescending about it – Han in particular likes to slut shame me, and Nash takes his word for it rather than actually believing anything I say or even what's in my file about my fiance. But I've never heard him say anything about Eddie’s situation beyond praising him for having his life together so young – which is fucking laughable, pardon my french. I think it's a combination of being married, having a child, having served his country, and being raised Catholic.”

“Oh? He judges on religion?” Callahan's ears pricked up, but Buck could only shrug.

“I really don't know – I haven't witnessed him discriminate against anyone for their religion if that's what you mean. Well – except for the times he's lectured me on my ‘godlessness’ and tried to convince me of how sinful sleeping around is. Which wouldn't be any of his business even if I did do that, which I do not. No, I think he just likes Eddie a bit more because he's big on Church himself. By the way, Eddie really isn't.”

“I see. You've mentioned Nash lectures you a few times – on things outside the job?”

“God yeah,” She snorted. “I don't know why he or the others think they have any right to comment on my personal life, it's not like I try to bring it into the station. Honestly, it's got worse since my estranged sister showed up out of the blue one day and started inserting herself everywhere and pushing her own narrative about me. By the way, I've barely seen or heard from her since I was nine – she claims to know me, but she really doesn't. Luckily, most people who know me know not to believe her – unluckily, that does not include the Captain and his main cohort.”

“Your sister – that would be a Ms Maddie Kendall? There was some incident involving her husband wasn't there, and Paramedic Han?”

“Yeah – Doug was an abusive piece of shit, and stalked Maddie through Chimney – Howard Han. He stabbed Chimney and abducted Maddie. She ended up killing him in self defence.”

“And I believe your sister and Han are in a romantic relationship?”

“Yes – they decided not to date after the Doug fiasco, but apparently got together just after the bomb.”

“Would you say Han brings his personal life into work? Does he treat you any differently after meeting Ms Kendall?”

“Absolutely. He's constantly going on about what Maddie would think – was doing so even before they admitted they were dating. Constantly texted her what I was doing if he disagreed with it, and would lecture me on her behalf. Honestly, it felt like he was more my sister's spy than my colleague. And since the bombing, he's been firmly in ‘Team Maddie', pushing her agenda of me never working as a firefighter again.”

“Hmm,” He mused, and the Union rep beside her stirred.

“I believe we've got a little off topic for now,” He pointed out. “Firefighter Buckley has been denied her return to work at her duty station, and her captain has refused to allow any transfer. He attempted to push her into a job that would be detrimental to her health, and he is spreading false medical information about her to all and sundry by the sounds of it. Not just sabotaging her personal relationships but her whole career. As a captain, he should not have the authority to categorically deny her return to work!” 

“No, nor does he.” Callahan agreed. “Well, you're right – interpersonal relationship questions can come later. For now, as Nash refuses to work you back into his shift, I believe it would not be a good idea to force the matter. Though he would be warned against it, I can see him retaliating against you in some way. Probably giving you all the most unpleasant chores and making you permanent man behind or some such, perhaps even docking your hours.”

Buck felt her heart sink. Oh God, was she about to get another brush off?! Someone washing their hands of the whole thing, another ‘well, he's the captain, he has the final say’? There there dear, just sit by like a good little girl and wait for the grown ups to tell you what to do?!

Fuck that!

Buck was done sitting by and letting Nash of all people dictate her life!

She had documented her ass off, she would NOT let some insecure LIAR of a captain ruin her life any further!

She would NOT let him win!

“So I think it would probably be best if you move to another station. We could slot you into B or C shift at the 118, but I rather think you will still be at risk from some members of A-shift going by the accounts I have looked through so far.”

Buck felt her brain blue screen at that. That – HUH?!

She stared at Callahan. “I–I'm sorry? I… I can go back to work?!”

“Well of course,” He replied, already clicking away at his computer. “According to all documentation, you have recertified and are cleared to work. You're not even getting workers comp or disability anymore, how on earth does the man expect you to live in LA with no income?!” He hadn't been looking at her as he said that, and she got the impression he was more asking himself rather than her.

“I, uh… I dunno…” She muttered faintly anyway, because she really didn't have any clue what on earth the idiot man was thinking. He probably didn't even know about her side gig at Miramar, as he seemed to have some sort of mental block against a knowledge in any way, shape or form that she was or ever had been in the Navy.

“Hmm…” Callahan was still scrolling through something on his computer. “Well, from what I've read so far there were already concerns raised about you returning to the 118…”

Buck blinked, surprised. “There are?!”

“Hmm. While there isn't technically a rule against it, dating family members of co-workers is something of a… grey area, shall we say. As Howard Han has already proven that he canNOT separate personal and professional, there is a note in your file suggesting a transfer for one of you if his relationship with your sister continues. It has, I take it?”

Buck shrugged. “As far as I know,” It wasn't like either of them were really talking to her right now – she got passive aggressive texts and rants occasionally, but that was about it.

“Well, given your injury it would be easier to transfer you than him,”

“Honestly, I'd prefer that sir,” She admitted. “I don't think I can trust Nash and his crew at the moment. And given what I think he's been spreading about me, I doubt they'd trust me to have their backs either.” Not at all a working environment she wanted to set foot in.

“Yes, I understand,” Callahan replied. “You were originally placed with the 118 so that they would not lose their heavy rescue status, is that right?”

Buck just shrugged again. “That's what I was told when I was given my assignment. Nash never mentioned it though, and you'd think I was just some dumb blonde with no practical knowledge at all from how some of the others treated me. Most got better but some…” she trailed off, grimacing at the thoughts of the people she had previously worked the closest with.

Callahan frowned at this, and made a mental note to look further into this apparent utter mess of a shift. “I see. Can I ask why you didn't accept any of the transfer offers once Nash brought Diaz on? Before he was there I understand you were still the only one certified on shift and you may have stayed because of that, but afterwards? I can see that he isn't as heavily certified as you are, but the station would not have lost their heavy rescue status had you left at that point.”

Buck blinked, confused. “Transfer offers? What transfer offers?”

Callahan looked over at her again. “Your file is full of transfer requests from other stations?” He took in her clearly perplexed expression, and a grim understanding began to take hold of him. “You didn't know?”

“I… I had no idea…” She admitted faintly. “M-multiple people asked for me?!”

His expression softened into a smile, “Indeed they did, Ms Buckley. If you like, I can reach out, see if they still have availability?”

She nodded vaguely, very obviously still reeling by this apparently utterly new information. “That… that would be great. Um, th-thank you,”

“Of course. I'll get back to you by tomorrow at the latest I hope, and we should be able to schedule you back into rotation fairly swiftly once you settle on a station. Judging by your file,” He quirked an eyebrow and a wry glance at the computer screen where her personnel file was open to view, “You'll have a few to choose from I shouldn't wonder.”

“I…I can choose this time?” She wasn't just going to be ordered?!

“Ideally, you would have been able to choose from some approved options out of the academy – most other people are. I can see that there was quite a lot of interest in you.”

“Lemme guess,” She said, suddenly wry, “Nash was not one of them?”

“He doesn't appear to have been, no.” Callahan admitted. 

“And – well, Nash said I need him to sign off on working again? Can… can I start without that?” Because she could not see any way that Bobby would do that any time soon.

Callahan nodded. “Oh yes, he should never have claimed that in the first place. And I have no idea why your HR rep has been going along with that nonsense – rest assured, I will be getting to the bottom of that.” Assuming he wasn't ordered off the case… He didn't know why he would be though. “Now, where would it be best to reach you to –”

Callahan broke off abruptly as there was a brisk knock at his door, then it was swinging open and Chief Alonzo was striding in.

Callahan blinked in surprise. Oh – “Chief!”

“Callahan,” Alonzo nodded to him, and Callahan couldn't help but think that the man looked strangely pale and wild eyed. He was also staring at Buckley as if he had seen a ghost. “Lieutenant Buckley, I presume?”

“Uh – yes sir?” What the hell?

“I hear you're having some issues returning to work?”

“Uh…” 

He sighed, and moved to perch on the edge of Callahan’s desk, facing the three sat in front of it. 

None of the occupants of the room seemed to know what to do. This was very odd.

“Lieutenant Buckley, on behalf of the LAFD I apologise. Given the nature of how you sustained your injuries, I had meant to keep on top of your progress personally. I can only apologize for not realizing what was going on and stopping it before it got to this point.” He glanced back at Callahan with a glare. “I hope that you are not dismissing her too?”

“Er – no sir. Not at all. We were just discussing which station options she has and how soon we can rotate her back into active duty,”

“Excellent. Though I hope not at the 118?”

“If it's all the same to you sir, I'd really rather not.” Buck found herself saying dryly. “At least not right now.”

“No no, I agree. What little I've heard this morning is… Well, I do not believe it is a good idea for you to return there now or in the near future. Callahan, I want a full investigation into this situation and that damn house. Clearly, a lot has been going on that has not been getting to my ears! I wasn't told much, but after having an irate Admiral on the phone this morning –!”

Buck blinked, and then sighed heavily. Oh my god, he hadn't… God, this was so embarrassing! “Ice called you?!”

Alonzo blinked at her. “Admiral Kazansky called this morning, yes – I just got off the phone with him before heading down here. He didn't tell me much, but he certainly made his displeasure with the 118 in particular – especially Nash – and the LAFD in general known. Something about how this wasn't the first time we had messed up with you, but he didn't go into details. May I ask how he knows about it? How you know him?”

She sighed heavily. “Goddammit Ice…” She grumbled, then prepared herself to explain her overprotective, terrifying, insane in-laws to her big boss. “As you may be aware, I am a Naval Aviator, currently in the Reserves. I have served under Ice, but I do know him on a more personal level, yes. He's my future father in law.”

Alonzo blinked at her. “The… The Commander of the Pacific Fleet is… is your future father in law?”

“Yes,”

“And Nash has personally pissed him off…” Alonzo said faintly, and she couldn't help but roll her eyes.

“He said he wouldn't interfere,” She grumbled. 

“Oh he didn't give specifics,” Alonzo replied vaguely, still looking faintly sick and as if he was running all sorts of increasingly worst case scenarios in his head and hating each and every one of them. “Just that, as a member of the Navy, he was appalled at how one of his aviators was being treated under my command. And that the behavior of some of those in your house from the top down was deplorable and would see them dishonorably discharged if they were in the military. When I asked what on earth he was talking about he told me I should come here as you were currently meeting with IA in an attempt to get someone to actually listen for once. And that if we didn't get our act together, he would be more than happy to report certain actions to the police – that his phone call was just a polite formality and a chance for me to get on top of the shit show as he called it before other authorities were called in. He said something about NCIS already having been called in when we failed you in the past?”

“Oh – that,” Buck was not particularly happy with that being brought up again, but she really should have expected it she supposed. “Around three months into my probationary period I was unable to save someone on a call. Captain Nash ordered me to see a department therapist, and claimed he would not allow me back on shift until I had seen them despite my telling him I already have a therapist I see through the Navy. When I attempted to report the department therapist for attempting to sexually assault me to my Union rep as chain of command dictates, he laughed me out of there and called me a slut, telling me I was asking for it and turning it into a station joke.” She replied calmly, and watched the shock and then rage cross the man's face. She continued before he could get a word in edgeways though. “When I attempted to go over his head, he had apparently got to HR first – they turned me away too, with a warning about making false accusations and to think about how my behavior reflected on the image of the LAFD. So I reported the therapist to NCIS who deal with crimes by and towards Naval personnel – active or otherwise – and they dealt with it. Somehow, Howard Han weaseled his way out of consequences for his actions yet again that time as well.”

“I…I am very sorry you went through that, and rest assured I will be finding out what went on there! I have no idea why I didn't know about this – a federal agency investigating anyone in the department should have been brought to my attention!”

Buck just shrugged – she didn't know about that. “Well, anyway, I'm sorry Ice called you. I know he can be a bit… nerve wracking?”

Alonzo snorted, then chortled slightly. “That's one way to describe him,” He agreed, amused, then sobered as he studied her for a moment. “Have you been assigned a new station?”

She shook her head. “No, Mr Callahan was just telling me he'll send through some options for me to look over…”

Callahan jumped back in there. “Indeed. I was just asking, should I send them to your work or your personal email? Both?”

She shrugged slightly. “Both, if you don't mind.”

“Not at all, you'll have them by tomorrow as I said,” He assured her.

She offered a slight smile. “Thank you. And… thank you for listening,”

He smiled back. “Of course.”

“Thank you for not giving up on us,” Alonzo said seriously. “I would also like to assure you that a full investigation will be conducted into this situation and likely the goings on or your former station as a whole. So, you will probably be asked to come back in at some point for some further questions – is that alright?”

She shrugged. “Of course,” She agreed. “If it will stop what happened to me happening to anyone else, I'm happy to help,”

“I'll also look into seeing about what back pay you can get given Nash has prevented you from earning an income through his actions,” Callahan said with a glance at his boss – should he be making such a claim in front of the chief? Maybe not, but if the man disagreed then he wanted to see how he went about it.

Besides – from everything he had heard about Buckley’s situation and how she had been repeatedly fucked over, it was the least he could do.

Alonzo, however, nodded. “Excellent idea, yes. I'll ensure that that goes through. Your disability pay has ended, I believe?”

“As soon as I recertified in line with procedures, yes,” Buck replied calmly. 

He nodded. “Well, we'll be in touch when that is sorted. Was there anything else you needed today?”

Buck shrugged. “Honestly, I didn't come in here with high expectations anyway – I was expecting to be brushed off again, so no, I've already had far more than I thought I would out of this meeting!” Honestly, the easy way Callahan just immediately started finding a shift to slot her back to work on had felt kind of… well, anticlimactic after all the problems and stonewalling she had endured to get here.

Callahan chuckled. “I can imagine. And again, I'm sorry for how you've been treated and we will work to get to the bottom of why.”

She nodded gratefully. “Thank you. Though… would it be possible for me to find out why? I don't mean I want to be involved in whatever investigation the whole time, just… if you do find out why this happened, would it be possible to let me know?”

Alonzo replied for them both. “Yes, we can do that. Obviously depending on what turns up and how sensitive it is we will not be able to share everything, but things pertaining directly to you we will endeavor to let you know when we can.”

She smiled gratefully at him. “Thank you, sir. And again, I'm really sorry about Ice. He said he'd stay out of it! We were worried about how the 118 in particular would react if he stepped in when they seem to think I'm ignoring medical advice or something…”

He waved his aside with a kind smile. “Not at all, I'm glad I was informed.”

With some final pleasantries, Buck and her companions – who had thankfully had to do little, given Callahan and then Alonzo were both willing to hear her out from the get go, though her lawyer stated outright she would be continuing to stay in contact with them as the investigation went on, which Buck was grateful for (she didn't quite trust the Brass or anyone in the LAFD management right now, understandably) – rose to leave when Callahan halted them.

“One moment, Ms Buckley,” He called, and she turned back with a questioning look. “You brought the Union Rep from the 217,” He nodded towards the man in question, who just arched an eyebrow questioningly. “Can I ask why you did not go to your own Union Rep?”

She gave him a mildly disbelieving look. “Howard Han? Been there tried that, thanks. Not eager to repeat that experience, and he had already made his stance clear.”

Callahan blinked, and stared at her in shock. “Han is still your station's Union Rep?!”

“Yes?”

“After how he reacted to your report before?!”

She just shrugged, not seeing what the big deal was. “Like I said, he weaseled his way out of consequences.”

A sneaking suspicion began to form in Callahan's mind. “When was this, again?”

“January 2017,”

Well shit. Callahan frowned. “Even without his own actions, he shouldn't have been rep for that long… Was he voted in again?”

Buck just blinked at him. “Voted in? No, there was no vote since then?”

Callahan sighed heavily. “Alright, thank you Ms Buckley. I'll be looking into that as well – he has already served way past his term as rep, the position is supposed to rotate around. Unless of course someone is voted in again, though there are regulations on how many consecutive terms you can be voted in for. We've had issues in the past with only one person acting in the position for years at a time and this causing various issues…” Not that he thought that every station actually adhered to those regulations, he knew there were probably still some who did not.

Case in point: Howard bloody Han.

A name he had a feeling he would be getting very familiar over the coming days, weeks… hell, probably even months! 

Buck just nodded her acknowledgment, said her goodbyes, and left with her two companions.

She could already feel the exhaustion hitting her, and knew she was probably going to crash soon.

She should probably head to the Kazansky’s. Ice wouldn't be home, but she could rip into him later for his phone call – much as she appreciated it as it had obviously scared Alonzo into actually looking into this shit.

How long that would last though…

Ah well. She'd see if Sarah was in, and if she wanted her to pick up anything on the way if she OK’d Buck heading over. She had already more or less been ordered to report back after her meeting, so she didn't really see Sarah telling her not to come, but she would check anyway.

What a day…

Back in Callahan’s office, the two men sat in silence for a long moment after the trio left.

Eventually, Alonzo spoke up: “She's right, you know. Let's not spread it around that the Admiral is involved.”

Callahan arched an eyebrow at him. “You think some would react negatively?” 

Alonzo rolled his eyes, slumping down into a visitors chair with a long, weary sigh. “You don't? If someone is spreading false information and claiming she's pushing more than her doctors have allowed, I can absolutely see them claiming nepotism or favoritism or whatever if she's slotted back onto shift just because he called.”

“But that's not why she's getting back to work,” Callahan felt the need to point out, but Alonzo just snorted.

“You and I know that, but clearly, someone has some sort of agenda in keeping her from work and spreading the lies that they are. Do you really see  them admitting they've been lying rather than claiming she's still ignoring medical advice and just went over all our heads to get her way?”

Callahan sighed. “No, I know – you're right,”

“Right. Which is why it stays between us for now that the Admiral is even involved in any way,”

Callahan agreed, but arched an eyebrow at him. He had a feeling there was something more to that request than had already been said. “Of course. You have some other concern?”

Alonzo just smiled grimly. “Not a concern as such, no. However, it would appear that there has been some… sweeping under the rug going on around here, and for quite some time if those comments on her Union Rep are anything to go by. I don't have all the details yet, but I can't imagine anything will be able to be swept away quite so neatly with a four star Admiral breathing down our necks.

“He wasn't kidding when he said he would involve the police if I didn't do anything about it, Callahan. So clearly, there is something he thinks the police would be interested in going on.”

“Well, Nash denying her return to work is illegal,” Callahan pointed out. “His spreading her private medical information without her consent, that's illegal too. And false private medical information, that adds another dimension to it,”

“Yes.” Alonzo agreed grimly. “But I have a feeling that's only the tip of the iceberg.”

Chapter Text

While Buck was sorting through her options for a new station – ultimately deciding to float at a number of them as needed before making a concrete decision, which had also been put forwards as a suggestion for her (she had understandable trust issues, after all) – the 118 had no idea what was about to hit them.

It started with Eddie, before Buck had even left the parking lot of the LAFD main office building. Technically, it started earlier that morning when he arrived to drop Chris off unannounced for some last minute free childcare.

The child he had been keeping away from her for whatever reason, but who he suddenly needed her to watch apparently.

Without asking, naturally – because it wasn't as if he would have thought to do that, now was it.

Buck, who had had her phone on silent in her meeting, could only blink and stare at the large volume of messages – texts, missed calls, voice mails – on her phone when she pulled it out after getting into her car. 

She sighed, not even bothering to read it all – they were mostly from Eddie, but she had a few from Hen and Bobby too with a distinctly scolding tone time stamped after Eddie's shift had most likely started, so whatever his problem was he had probably gone whining to them about whatever it was she had apparently done this time.

(Assuming, of course, that they had not caught wind of her meeting or what it was about – but then, why would they have?)

Since a common theme scrolling through seemed to just be to call him, she figured she'd do just that – after, of course, messaging Sarah because she was, frankly, more important and far more pleasant right now than Eddie bloody Diaz was likely to be.

Sarah of course told her to come over, and not to bring anything – her lovely self was enough, apparently, which made Buck blush a bit but determined to grab a nice cake or something to bring anyway. The Kazansky's were suckers for cake, after all, as she well knew.

Then, turning on her car and connecting her phone to its Bluetooth, she put through a call to Eddie through the speakers.

He answered quickly, as she was pulling out of her parking space. 

“Oh, now you bother to answer!”

Great, he was in a mood. Sighing internally, Buck kept her voice even as she replied. “Hi Buck. How are you Buck? Oh, I'm good, thanks for asking. Just saw you apparently went a little crazy trying to contact me this morning, figured I should call you back as soon as I could. So what's up?”

She could almost hear him gritting his teeth, as he apparently decided to ignore most of what she said. “Where the hell were you?”

She frowned, honestly confused – they hadn't had plans? “Where was I when? We didn't have plans?”

“This morning! I went by your place and you weren't there!”

Buck blinked. Took a moment to replay that and then – yep, she had heard that right. “My place? Don't you have a shift?” She had a sudden, sinking feeling where he may have been going with this, as it was, unfortunately, a pattern of behaviour with him.

Then again, it wasn't as if he had been letting her see Chris since just after the tsunami and Carla and Abuela returning. 

“Of course I have a shift! How could you be so selfish?!”

Buck took a deep, calming breath, and mentally counted to ten. “Eddie, how exactly am I selfish for not being in when I had no idea you would be coming over?”

“Have you any idea how upset you've made Chris? He was looking forwards to spending the day with you!”

Uh. Believable. Oh, this rat bastard. “Eddie, if you got Chris excited about that without actually ASKING ME if I was available to watch him then any upset is entirely on you. Did it not even occur to you to ask me if I would be in?!” 

“How is it my fault?! And why would I check that, you never go out, of course you should have been in!”

What an idiot. “Eddie, hard as this may be to believe, my life does not revolve around you. If you – yet again – stupidly left childcare plans to be last minute then that is not my fault. Nor is it my fault that you apparently think I have nothing better to do than sit around waiting for you to turn up!”

“What, I'm just supposed to believe you're not just moping around in bed still?” He sneered. And seriously, what the hell was going on with people recently? “You're not working, the least you could do is watch Chris for me!”

"I am working actually, or did you expect me to just sit around and twiddle my thumbs while Nash actively prevented me from earning an income through the LAFD? And the very least YOU could do would be to call first to ensure I could pick up the slack yet again from your poor planning!” She braked a little harder than necessary as she pulled up at some traffic lights, and was jolted forwards in her seat. Dammit Buck, focus. “Especially since we've barely seen or spoken to each other in weeks, so how the hell was I supposed to know you would just show up? I thought you were keeping him away from me anyway?” 

“I do not have poor planning!” Because that was what he picked up on from all that… sigh.

“So you didn't just turn up last minute, expecting me to babysit your kid with no prior warning or planning? Something which I'm guessing you bitched about as soon as you got to the station – making sure to paint me as the irredeemable bad guy of course – given the messages I've got scolding me like I'm some kindergartener!”

“You're supposed to have my back! You know Chris is going through a tough time right now!”

“And you're supposed to have mine, yet when have you ever!” She heard herself snap back, and then took a deep breath to calm down, speaking up again before he could. “Look, I'm sorry that Chris was disappointed, but you have to acknowledge that I had no way of knowing what you were expecting because you did not tell me, and that his upset is because of that and whatever you told him. I am always happy to see Chris, but you really need to let me know when first!”

“Oh come on!” Eddie scoffed. “You were fine with it the day of the tsunami!”

“I wasn't actually,” She replied coldly. “Nor was I fine with it when you showed up unannounced again a couple of days later. I just didn't want to get into it in front of Chris, and you were already running late.”

“Well, it's not as if you were going to say no either of those times!”

“Do not mistake my kindness for weakness, Eddie. You've been making a habit of stomping over my boundaries recently, and it needs to stop. If you need someone to watch Chris, you contact me ahead of time and see if I am available. If I am not, then you have time to sort other arrangements. You will NOT just show up expecting things again, or I swear to God we are going to have problems – my patience is not endless, and you lot have seriously eroded it. Why the hell is he not in school today anyway?”

“It's some holiday,” Eddie muttered into the phone sulkily. “Look Buck, it's not as if you have anything else to do right now anyway! You need to get out and about, not just fester in that damn loft!”

“Oh, you care? I hadn't noticed.” She snarked. “And where exactly is this narrative of me hibernating in there coming from anyway?! You were spouting the same crap when you showed up before!”

“Oh come off it Buck, we all know you're not going out. Maddie's over regularly trying to coax you out!”

Fucking Maddie. Again. Sometimes, Buck wished the other woman had never resurfaced and bulldozed her way back into her life.

Oh, she was grateful Maddie was away from Doug – she just wasn't so thrilled she had apparently now made it her life's mission to blow up Buck's life here in L.A. – er, no pun intended.

“Eddie, has it ever occurred to you that Maddie might be lying? She is, by the way. I haven't seen her in ages, and I mostly just get bitchy texts and voice notes berating me for not listening to her and continuing to want to get back to firefighting.”

“Buck, that's no way to speak about the woman who saved your life. You really shouldn't be spreading lies like that, you know,” The moronic man scolded her, and Buck… did not know what to do with that.

“I-I’m sorry? What the hell do you mean, she ‘saved my life’?” 

She could almost hear the eyeroll through the phone, and rolled her own at the disapproving tutting that came down the line. “Oh don't tell me you're trying to rewrite history, Buck. We all know if it wasn't for Maddie, you would have been much worse off when you caused that pulmonary embolism!”

“That WHAT?!”

“Don't play dumb, Buck. Maddie told us everything – interesting you never mentioned it. Do you really think the LAFD will just let you back and not know about that?! Thank God Maddie told us, or Bobby might actually have given into your whining! As it is, he told us he had to inform the LAFD himself of your recklessness because apparently you couldn't be bothered to inform them of serious medical information!”

“Eddie.” Buck spoke coldly, pulling into a parking spot at a nearby shop and glaring at her phone as she turned the engine off. “Are you seriously telling me right now that Maddie is claiming I had a pulmonary embolism?”

“She told us about it, yes! Because YOU couldn't be bothered to!”

Deep breaths Buck, deep breaths… “Shut up Eddie.” She cut him off as he began to go on a rant about how irresponsible she was for not informing them, or something – she wasn't really listening. “Maddie told you all I had a pulmonary embolism, and you all believed her?”

“Well of course we believed her! She was there!”

“And not ONE of you actually thought to check with ME if it had actually happened? Or, oh, I don't know – ask me how I was if you believed that bullshit?!”

“W-well – I've been busy, I've got a lot going on, you know that! And Maddie was keeping us updated on how you're doing!”

“Interesting.” Buck snapped. “Given she doesn't have a clue! Are you seriously telling me my sister has been spreading my private medical information?! To who?!”

“Don't be so sensitive Buck,” Oh, she could feel that eyeroll! “Someone has to keep us up to date, because God knows you're not!”

“Well gee, maybe I'd tell any of you how I am if any of you gave me the slightest inclination that you were in any way interested! And for your information, I have NOT had a pulmonary embolism! I have no idea what the hell Maddie is smoking concocting lies like that – or what you lot are believing her! – but I want no part in it!”

“She said you'd say that,” Eddie scoffed. 

And of fucking course she did. Buck sighed heavily, suddenly utterly done with this conversation. “You know what? I don't care right now. Believe whatever you want, it doesn't matter to me anymore. Were you only calling about Chris earlier?” 

Apparently thrown by the abrupt change in conversation, Eddie stuttered a moment before answering. “Er – y-yeah. I wanted an explanation! You weren't answering the door, and then you weren't even in bed like last time!”

“Well, your damn explanation is that you were inconsiderate enough to presume on my time without checking I was available first, and found out I was in a meeting.” She snapped. “Did you enter my apartment?”

“Of course I did! How was I supposed to know you weren't just wallowing like usual?!”

She was changing those damn locks. Which – why had she not done that already? She had meant to, she knew. But no one had actually turned up in a while, so maybe it had just… slipped her mind.

The thought of any of these people just being able to enter her space whenever they pleased though… No. No, absolutely not. 

“Right. You've lost key privileges – not that I remember giving them to you in the first place!”

No, that had been Maddie, apparently. And everywhere she turned, there was bloody Maddie! “I assume you sorted something with Chris?”

“What? Yeah – he's with my cousin. And don’t be stupid, Buck, I'm not giving back my key!”

“Oh, so I'm getting a key to your place to come and go as I please am I?” She sneered, and heard the blustering over the phone.

“That's different!”

“Not so nice when it's your own privacy being invaded and boundaries crossed, is it!” She snapped back, and then sighed. “Look, this is really not the time or the place to be having this conversation. I have things to do, and you're on shift. If you're actually interested in discussing any of this like civilized adults instead of taking your anger issues out on me as you have made a habit of doing then fine, we can make plans to do so. In the meantime, don't you dare turn up unannounced expecting free, last minute baby sitting services again. It's unlikely I will be available, and it is an incredibly rude and presumptuous thing to do. I adore Christopher, you know I do, but I am NOT his parent – you are. I am happy to help out, but stop expecting me to pick up all the slack while giving nothing back. I understand you are going through a difficult time, but you are not the only one and you cannot just keep shoving all your emotional baggage off onto me and expecting me to carry it for you. That is not how friendship is supposed to work – and if that kind of one-sided, selfish friendship is what you want, then you can forget it. If you actually want to talk, then contact me after your shift – I'm blocking you until then, as I have things to do. Goodbye, Eddie.”

Not giving him a chance to respond to that in any way, Buck hung up the phone.

Oh shit, had she really just said all that?!

Oh man, he was going to be so pissed… What was she THINKING? She knew she needed to be useful to keep these friendships!

Except – no. No, that wasn't true – and if Eddie DID expect her to constantly be of use to him, to take and take and give nothing back, then it was not a friendship she should keep. 

And she knew, she knew he was going through a hellish time, and that he had past traumas underneath it all that he had never dealt with and that were subsequently rearing their ugly heads once more, but that was not on Buck and she was done being the safe one he could unload all his frustrations on.

He needed actual help, and it was about damn time he recognized it.

Because he was going to crash, the rate he was going, and soon.

And he would not bring Buck down with him, no matter how much he tried.

She had boundaries too, and she had put one down with him here.

Whether or not he actually respected it..

Well. Time would tell, she supposed.

If he DID decide to meet later and discuss anything, she would be pushing for him to at least think about looking into getting the help he so desperately needed – she was done letting him dictate their friendship. He needed help, and more than she – or any of them – were equipped to give.

She just hoped he wouldn't have to hit absolutely rock bottom before he recognized that…

Eddie stared at his phone, fuming and unable to believe that that selfish bitch had just hung up on him!

He was trying to help her, dammit, but she could never just make things easy could she!

So he asked her to watch Chris last minute ONE TIME – HOW did that apparently make him some bad guy?!

And, alright, yes, he supposed it had been a while since they had met in person – and she knew Carla and Abuela were back, so he hadn't been asking her to babysit either. And maybe he could have text ahead, but he genuinely hadn't thought about it – why would he? As far as he knew, she never left her damn apartment these days, too busy sulking! Why would he have assumed today was any different?!

And that utter nonsense about Maddie lying to them about something as serious as a pulmonary embolism?! He hadn't wanted to believe Maddie when she had told them Buck would most likely try to deny it had ever happened, would pretend that she was absolutely fine and had not been so reckless with her own health – but Buck had just proved her sister depressingly right, hadn't she. And accusing them of not asking her about it! Well, why would they?! They knew, after all, that Buck was trying to pretend it didn't happen – pretend there was nothing wrong with her. Maddie had told them she was struggling – as clearly evidenced by her refusal to get out into the real world again, moping around in her apartment – and that they should probably not bring attention to it. If they acted like everything was fine and she was still on regular sick leave, just waiting for the Brass to give the go ahead for her to return to work, then it would probably be better in the long run. She was likely to obsess over it and over compensate if she thought the others knew how fragile and at risk with any tiny injury she currently was, which would just result in her damaging herself even more.

It had made a lot of sense at the time, and Maddie had said she was more than willing to fall on her sword and be the bad guy nagging her about her injuries if the others could just let her feel normal – she was used to sacrificing for her little sister after all.

So Eddie had done that! He hadn't blown up Buck's phone with concern and irritation at her causing such a serious medical condition by not following her doctors orders – Maddie had sobbed long and hard into Chimney's arms when she had finally got home the night of the PE, finally letting herself break down after holding everything together for her sister, and had told him everything that had happened and that the hospital had said. Chimney, naturally, had told them so that Maddie didn't have to. Maddie, when she was feeling better, had come over and told them all her side of it later and elaborated on what she meant when she had asked Chim to ask them not to hound Buck.

And this was how Buck repaid all their concern?!

“Jeez Diaz, who pissed in your cheerios this morning?” Lena remarked as he reentered the loft, probably with a face like thunder if his expression was in any way matching his mood.

Hen looked round at him in concern too, eyes flicking to take in the phone he still had in a death grip in his hand. “Eddie? What happened?”

He fumed for a moment, debating whether he should tell the others of the absolute disrespect or if he should keep it to himself.

Bobby and Chimney were approaching now as well though, and he figured it would be better if they would all know so they could be on the same page. 

“Buck finally called me back,” He grunted, throwing himself onto a seat at the table and scowling fiercely down at his blank phone screen.

“Buckley?” Lena blinked, surprised. “What do you mean finally? Have I missed something?” 

Bobby, meanwhile, was pulling out his own phone and frowning at it. “She hasn't replied to me…”

“Or me,” Hen agreed, not needing to check her phone to know that as she had just been absently scrolling on it seconds ago anyway.

“Guys seriously!” Chimney waved his hands around, “What happened? Why are we pissed at Buck? What's she done this time?”

“Oh right – you weren't here when Eddie came in earlier. She was supposed to watch Chris today since it's a school holiday, but wasn't in when he went by to drop the kid off.” Hen filled the oblivious pair in.

“What, she didn't answer the door?!” Chimney frowned. “Why not?!”

“That's what I wondered, figured she was still asleep or something. But she apparently had left altogether when I left myself in to check, in an extreme measure of avoiding me!” Eddie huffed.

“That doesn't sound like her,” Chimney frowned. “She actually went out?! Maddie didn't tell me anything!” He hurriedly pulled out his own phone and started texting. 

“What, did she just forget?” Lena frowned. “Seems kinda irresponsible to just leave when she knew she was baby sitting and you had a shift…”

“What did she have to say for herself, Eddie?” Bobby asked, sounding sternly disapproving of the young woman's irresponsibleness, which vindicated Eddie's irritation at the woman. 

“She didn't even apologise!” He huffed. “Just laid into me about not asking her beforehand and just expecting her to be in!”

Lena held up a hand, mildly unable to believe what she was hearing. “Wait wait wait! You didn't ASK her to babysit?!” 

“Well, no,” He allowed. “But she should have known! And it's not as if she has anything else to do right now either!”

“Weren't you just saying the other day that you've been keeping Chris with immediate family a lot, since he's so tired and dealing with everything?” He saw judgement in her arched eyebrow, and he didn't like it, “Why should she have known you would turn up if she hasn't been seeing him? Which, by the way,” She cut him off before he could argue that point, “You also told me the other day.”

Eddie scowled at her. “Look, she's watched Chris in the past last minute and not had a problem with it! How was I supposed to know today would be the ONE day she apparently decides to acknowledge that the real world exists and go out into it again?!”

Lena rolled her eyes at him. “By asking her if she's available? Is this why you were so pissy and late this morning?” 

Eddie rolled his eyes and grumbled a bit, but didn't deny it. 

“Well, did she say where she was?” Hen asked. “It's kind of a big step, going out again.”

Eddie paused, and had to think about that. “I, uh… I think she said she had a meeting or something? In between insulting me. Oh – and Maddie!” He suddenly remembered, and saw Chimney look round at him with a furious frown.

“Excuse me?!”

“Yeah! Get this – Maddie was right! She's denying everything!” 

Lena blinked again. “Who's Maddie?”

Chimney looked at her in vague disgust. “My girlfriend? Bosko, she was here for lunch last shift!”

“Oh right – the complaining brunette,” Lena nodded, apparently placing her.

“Hey! Maddie does not complain!”

“She does nothing but complain when she comes by here, Chimney,” Tanika interjected with an eyeroll as she walked past their table on the way to the fridge. 

Eddie… couldn't really argue with that, thinking back, but he didn't say anything.

Lena spoke up again before he – or Chimney – could anyway. “What's she got to do with Buckley? I've been wondering, given how much she bitches about her,”

“She's her older sister,” Hen supplied. “And the one whose been taking care of her all these months,”

“Huh. So what's Buckley denying?” 

Somewhat serendipitously that was the moment multiple phones went off – everyone at the table except from Lena, and including Tanika and a few others going by the series of pings and the sounds of phones being pulled out and checked elsewhere in the station.

Exchanging surprised looks, they all decided to check what it was as the pings continued – Lena leaning over to read off of Eddie's screen as well.

It was to the general 118 Station chat – all 3 shifts, where general announcements could be made or you could put out a general call to see if there was anyone wanting an extra shift if you needed one covered, things like that – and it was Buck.

Sighing, Eddie opened the chat thread as the messages continued to come through.

What the hell did she want now? And why did it have to be in THIS chat – what, was she not getting enough attention? 

Buck 

Apologies for doing this here, folks, and I probably shouldn't be but it's recently come to my attention that certain people are spreading lies about me and actively sabotaging my chances of continuing to work with the LAFD in any capacity, not just at the 118

So to clear a few things up:

I have NOT been ignoring doctors orders, I have been following a strict, HIGHLY SUPERVISED rehab plan with all associated meals and medications

I did NOT have a pulmonary embolism, and anyone who actually believed that with ZERO EVIDENCE beyond one woman's word is an idiot

Speaking of, Maddie Buckley or Kendall or whatever the hell she's calling herself today does NOT have permission to spread my private medical information

Nor does Nash or Han, and I would appreciate not being the fodder for gossiping/bitching sessions

That said, it is FALSE medical information they have been spreading

Also, none of them should even have medical information I have not given them myself 

And yes, I am including Maddie in that – she is NOT on any paperwork

Not my medical proxy or POA, she's not even listed as my next of kin on hospital paperwork 

Why I can hear some of you demand

Quite simple really: radio silence from her for YEARS before she broke into my apartment last year and tried to pretend the last 2 decades didn't happen

She was never on the paperwork because experience showed me she wouldn't answer anyway even when a hospital called her to tell her I was injured (yes, this did happen, yes, she did hang up or tell them she didn't have a sister) and I didn't get round to changing it after she showed up randomly 

Then she attempted to interfere in my recovery and I declined to give her any of the power she demanded

Apparently, that meant she had to deploy her boyfriend and her crocodile tears against several of you to get her way

Go figure

So to summarize: no PE here, fully cleared and recertified yet apparently not allowed back to work for ‘reasons’ according to Cpt Nash, Maddie lying and knows little about me in general let alone how my recovery is going, and I am near the end of my rope with several of you and your attitudes

You should know who you are

To be rest if you: I apologise, and am very grateful for any support you've given me over the past few months and before

It has been a pleasure working with (most of) you and thank you for the opportunity and experiences

However, I will not be returning to the 118 on any shift due to several reasons

Those of you already planning to blow up my phone bitching at me about this – don't bother, I will block you, either for a stated period of time or permanently if you persist

Ask Diaz if you think I'm joking, he earned it already this morning

– Buck has left the chat–

Naturally, none of this went down well.

Unfortunately for A-shift, the alarm went off at that moment so they weren't able to fire back at her immediately or add her back into the group chat to have her apologise and explain herself.

That would just have to come later.

Chapter Text

Callahan sighed, scowling darkly at his computer screen and the information on it when he was finally alone in his office.

Something told him that this case would keep him rather busy for quite a while – and that it would turn out to be a much bigger mess than expected.

The 118, particularly A-shift, had long been a thorn in management's side, and it had been with exhausted relief that they had essentially managed to wash their hands of dealing with them quite so often when they had thought they had finally managed to get a captain who would be sticking around rather than just counting down the days to their retirement.

Somewhere, someone was laughing at them.

Maybe that irritation and exhaustion with them had been part of why Nash had been returned to duty so soon after his suspension – after all, he hadn't exactly been entirely truthful on his paperwork about what had happened, but a full investigation had been done in Minnesota according to their reports... They were happy enough to accept that, and frankly had probably just been looking for a reason not to deal with him – and the increasing pile of complaints, both official and unofficial, that were mounting up against Interim Captain Han and his reign of terror.

Nash's actions – fool hardy in the extreme though they were – confronting Freddie Costas had won him brownie points with the public and had perhaps given the brass a reason to reinstate him – after all, would the public protest if they kept their hero suspended? Well, probably not but it looked good in the moment to reinstate him and it got rid of one problem. 

Joke was on them, apparently.

Looked like it would be back to the drawing board for another new A-shift Captain – at least Han would be well and truly out of the running this time, after his disastrous attempt.

Speaking of Han, he was a problem as well – and had been for quite some time it looked like.

Why had all these complaints and reports that Callahan could now see of his behaviour – increasingly… well, dickish over time as it was – been left unattended to?

More specifically, why the hell had that man not at least been reprimanded for his victim blaming and refusing to aid a colleague who reported an attempted rape?! And HOW, for the love of God, had he managed to retain his position as Union Rep?!

Hmm… He quickly checked CADS, and saw that the 118 he needed were currently on shift and attending a 4-alarm fire. Well, that would give him some time to get a start on this before meeting them in person – he wanted to hit the ground running, as it were, and get the lot of them together before what he said could be twisted in their retellings.

He would contact Dispatch, let them know that the station would need to be taken offline for longer than the standard break after a call like this one, until Callahan told them otherwise. Hell, they would need to be off until cover could be found for the Captain at the very least because Nash was in for a very unpleasant surprise this afternoon. 

Hmm, the sister was a dispatcher wasn't she. He would need to inform her supervisor what was happening as well… Callahan couldn't personally open an investigation into her, their being different departments, but he would definitely be advising that they open one themselves and see if they would be willing to collaborate.

After all, he had a feeling there would need to be police involvement in all of this as well…

Lots to do, lots to do…

Hearing the chime of his email, he quickly glanced down at it, raising an eyebrow in surprise – Buckley? Already?

Quickly he clicked it open, eyebrow climbing higher and higher as he read, before he let out a surprised, but amused laugh.

Yeah, she was definitely done with that station – and it was entirely their own faults.

Reading over her apology and explanation again quickly, as well as the screen shots she had sent of the messages she had sent to the entire 3 shifts of the 118 – woman had balls – he quickly replied that no, while it was not the most professional thing to do and she probably shouldn't have done it, it shouldn't impact the investigation too much.

But please do refrain from doing such a thing again, please and thank you.

Chortling slightly as he hit send, he saved the screenshots – both for the investigation and for his personal amusement later when he inevitably needed a small pick-me-up.

He couldn't admit it to her – especially not in a paper trail – but he did understand where she was coming from, and a part of him rather admired her for it as well! 

Not that he would be telling anyone that, of course – well. Perhaps Alonzo – guy could do with a laugh, he had no doubt.

Still smiling to himself, he reached for his phone, already looking up who he would need to speak with at Dispatch.

Maddie was fuming quietly as she drove to work, unable to believe the audacity of some people.

How dare Evan call her a liar, and to EVERYONE!

Howie had been texting her over what Eddie was telling them Evan had said to him this morning (and yes, technically Maddie was lying about the PE, but really, who were they going to believe? Maddie or Buck? There was no contest really. And sure, she knew initially Maddie had just dreamt it, but it COULD have happened, and it was still a major concern! No way would Evan know what to look out for! Maddie was just… taking preventative measures to help mitigate that risk!). Anyway, Howie has been asking her if she knew Evan had been out and about this morning (which Maddie had NOT, but then, she hadn't been by lately either to check for sure really) when he had gone silent and then suddenly called her for a VERY quick update even as she heard the alarms going off in the background.

And when he had filled her in on the things Buck was saying in her ENTIRE WORK GROUP CHAT?!?!?! Well. Maddie was, needless to say, less than impressed.

Maddie was trying to help her, but the idiot was fighting her every step of the way!

Why couldn't Buck just listen to someone else for once, instead of just assuming she knew best?! Maddie was older, more experienced, she had raised that girl – didn't that count for anything? Maddie knew Evan better than she knew herself, and she knew that all this firefighting nonsense was most definitely not the right job for her.

Besides, Maddie had been a nurse for well over a decade! Did Buck really think that her own medical knowledge was better than Maddie's?! Please.

Sighing, Maddie decided to push all thoughts of her idiotic, ungrateful little sister out of her mind until after her shift.

She would just have to deal with her later. Right now, the citizens of L.A. who actually needed help deserved her attention far more than the one who was constantly acting out to seek it.

If Buck wanted attention so badly with this latest stunt, well then she would just have to suck it up and wait for it! Maddie would not be pandering to her childish whims and temper tantrums!

(Maddie didn't know it yet, but this shift was NOT about to go how she had been expecting.)

Maddie was just getting settled, tucking her dinner into the fridge to reheat later when Sue approached her.

She looked worried and – was that irritation? Something like that – and she was most definitely heading towards Maddie.

“Morning Sue,” Maddie greeted her brightly with a friendly smile. “Have a good day yesterday?” She had had a bit of a moment herself last night when she had dropped a plate during dinner with Howie, and flinched away from him when he had come close to her – God, she felt like such an idiot! She knew he wasn't Doug, why had she thought he would hurt her?! He was Howie, she knew he would never!

He had been such a sweetheart about it though, backing off to give her room and listening to her when she told him what she needed – even when that was space. She had reached out to him later in the night, and he had replied instantly – and that had been that, she felt like they were back to their great place!

She hated that her past self with Doug was apparently still in her though.

And WHY had those instincts, that mindset decided to rear their ugly head NOW of all times?! Ugh. She had moved on, she was happy, the bastard was dead – she should not be thinking about Doug.

And now all this nonsense with Evan… Honestly, the girl needed to learn that other people had problems and lives too, and that they were not just available at her beck and call! Well, she was sorely mistaken if she thought Maddie would be enabling her.

“Maddie,” Sue greeted her grimly. “I need to speak with you in my office immediately.”

Maddie blinked. “Oh – alright, of course. Just let me put away my stuff –”

“No, there's no need for that.” Sue cut her off. “Just come with me please.”

Baffled – what on earth could be going on? – Maddie silently followed her boss into her office, feeling like everyone was staring at her as she went.

They weren't, she knew logically, but she still felt like their eyes were on her.

Maddie took the seat she was gestured to, feeling nerves begin to twist in her stomach as Sue closed the door behind her and settled at her desk.

Seriously, WHAT was all this about? Sue seemed unusually serious and stern – why did Maddie suddenly feel like she was in trouble? She was vaguely reminded of being called to the principals office school and the nerve-wracking anxiety of that.

After a long moment of silence, Sue sighed heavily and finally spoke. “Maddie, I'm sorry, but this is your official notice that you are being placed on suspension effective immediately, subject to an investigation. You will be paid for now, but you need to make yourself available whenever you are called in for questioning, and you need to cooperate fully. Depending what the investigation finds will determine when you can come back to work, and how long that takes will affect whether or not you go down to half pay or no pay. Do you understand?”

Maddie blinked, utterly unable to believe her ears. “Sus – suspension?! But – why?!”

Sue sighed, looking exhausted and rubbing tiredly at her eye. “I do not have the full details, but apparently complaints have been made and corroborated regarding your behaviour, and there is a possibility of criminal charges being brought into this as well,”

“C-criminal charges?! But… but what did I do?!” Maddie's head was spinning, and she couldn't quite seem to make herself believe that this was actually happening. 

“For now, the main complaints against you can be summarised as breaking HIPAA, fraud, slander, and defamation of character.”

“Wha – I haven't done anything of the sort!” Maddie protested.

Sue just shrugged. “I'm sorry Maddie but this came in through official channels – I have no choice but to suspend you while it is investigated. If you have done nothing wrong then the investigation will soon clear you and you will be back in no time. If there is evidence of wrongdoing, then… Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, shall we? For now, go home. We were unable to schedule anything on such short notice for today but you will need to be back here tomorrow at noon for your initial interview. Understood?”

“I, uh – y-yes. I understand,”

Sue sighed, and softened somewhat, giving her a kind smile. “Go home Maddie. Think over everything you've been doing and what this may be about. And tomorrow, be as truthful as possible and answer all questions to the fullest. If you have truly done nothing wrong, then you have nothing to fear. Yes?”

“I… yeah. Yeah, thanks Sue. Was, uh, was there anything else?”

“No, I don't believe so. You look pale though; are you alright to drive?”

Maddie offered her the ghost of a smile, touched that she still cared enough to ask. “I'll be fine Sue. Thank you though. I, uh… I guess I'll just…” She made a vague motion over towards the door, and Sue nodded.

“Alright. Drive safe Maddie, and I'll see you tomorrow.”

Maddie nodded, murmured some vague farewell she wouldn't have been able to repeat had she been asked what she had said, and made her way in a daze back out to her car, her mind in a whirl and unable to settle on or grasp any one coherent thought.

Well. That was certainly NOT how she had expected her day to go!

…who on earth could have reported her for such things?!

No matter – Maddie knew she hadn't done anything like that.

This would all be cleared up soon, and she would be back at work where she belonged.

Yeah. She just… had to be patient. It would all be cleared up tomorrow, and she was sure they would reinstate her immediately. 

At least she would still be paid for this shift even though she wasn't working it…

Bobby Nash was not a bad man – at least, he was working on not thinking so. He had had his doubts for a while there, but overall he felt like he was, predominantly, a good person.

He had made horrible mistakes and it had cost him everything, but he had picked himself back up and he was even allowing himself to be happy again.

He was a good person, and an excellent fire captain. He hadn't been the best father or husband in the past, but he had a second chance now and he would never squander it or take this new life for granted.

So, while he may have lied to Buck about who it was that was really saying she couldn't come back to work yet, he was not doing it to be a bad guy – despite what she may think, having stormed out of the dinner he and Athena had so graciously hosted her for without even a word of thanks!

No, he was doing it to protect her – and the sooner she realized and accepted that the better off she would be! 

Bobby didn't want to see her make the same mistakes he had, coming back to work before she was ready. Didn't want to see her become dependent on painkillers like he had been.

She had claimed she wasn't on narcotics – had had some initially, what with how serious her injuries had been, but had come off them when she could and currently used over the counter medications when she really needed them.

Bobby didn't believe her – he himself had claimed he hadn't needed them, but he had gone right back to them as soon as he could. Besides, he knew how addicting they were – who would turn them down when they actually worked for the kind of pain Buck must have been in? He didn't see her as the type to suffer in silence when she could take something for it, Maddie had told them all about how she had deliberately hurt herself as a child for attention. 

Bottom line was, Bobby knew these kinds of situations better than Buck did – he had lived it, after all. 

He couldn't see her make the same mistakes he had; see her throw away her life for the next hit.

No, she was not ready to come back to work – he didn't give a damn that she had broken records recertifying.

She had pushed too hard, as he had been worried she would.

Pushed so hard she had given herself a pulmonary embolism, of all things! Bobby hadn't wanted to, but he had filed the paperwork Maddie had sent him from the hospital, along with her own account of what had happened.

And thank God Maddie had been there when it had happened and had been able to rush her little sister to the ER. Bobby didn't even want to think about what might have happened had she not been there…

But on a more selfish level… Well. Bobby knew he was scared.

She had almost died because of him, and he didn't want to see her in that position again.

And sure, she was actually pretty good at the job – he was hard on her, but even he had to admit that. But… Well. No one wanted to see her hurt again. It really would be better all round if she would just find some other job, and stop recklessly throwing herself into danger for the thrill of it and to seek the attention she always so desperately craved apparently! WHY she hadn't accepted that fire Marshall job he had attempted to set up for her…

And now this! The absolute audacity of the girl to send what she did to the WHOLE STATION GROUP CHAT and then just… leave it!

He couldn't deny that he had been overjoyed to read that she would not be returning to the 118, though. Sure, the station had been odd without her and the others injured in the bombing at first, but everyone had gotten used to it and the others had all returned to work already. 

Buck not coming back really wouldn't make much of a difference, though he supposed now he really would need to find someone permanent for their shift again. So far, their floaters had been clear that they were only here for short term cover – no one had expressed any interest in moving stations permanently when he had subtly brought it up with them even before she had done her recertifications.

Bosko was working out pretty great so far, and she seemed to work well with Eddie – maybe he'd ask her if she would like to transfer here permanently… Hmm…

As it was, Bobby hadn't had much time to think about the messages Buck had spammed the station group chat with, outside of deciding he really would need to sit her down later and have the serious chat she clearly so desperately needed.

He had attempted to speak with her before – Athena had been right, he probably should have been honest about his concerns and his own role in keeping her off active duty until she was recovered rather than giving into her pleading, and he had agreed to have Buck over for dinner so that he could explain.

Naturally, that had not gone well – and really, he should have foreseen her overreacting.

He had expected her to come around before now, though – she needed a moment to be dramatic, but she would come slinking back with an apology he knew, and then admit that Bobby was right. He just had to wait. 

He had not expected her to do this, and he was a little unsure what to do with it all.

Because the truth was, he hadn't visited her in hospital over the PE – she had been out already by the time Maddie and Chim had told them what had happened. He hadn't known a thing about it happening at the time, and it had felt like receiving a body blow at the news of it after the fact – and no word from Buck herself. To this day, she had not mentioned it happening in his vicinity.

He had seen the doctor's note though – so why did Buck seem to think she could get away with such lies?

Ah well – he supposed it wasn't overly relevant. Since Buck had agreed not to return to the 118, he supposed her working relationships there weren't all that important. If she wanted to bomb them, then who was he to tell her not to? He and their firefam knew her better, and would be the ones who kept in contact, he was sure. What did it matter what the rest of the house thought of her and her tendencies to lie? Had she been back on shift with them, that distrust she created for herself may have been an issue.

So he was glad he at least wouldn't have to deal with that.

Returning to the station hours later, tired and dirty and with his stomach growling, Bobby's mind absently turned back to her for the first time since heading to the call.

He hadn't had a chance to check the group chat, but he assumed she hadn't added anything else since she had removed herself from it. Maybe some time for her to calm down would be best before he tackled her…

“Alright folks, get cleaned up and I'll make a start on dinner,” Bobby called as his firefighters sluggishly climbed out of their vehicles, meandering off to remove their turnouts. “I'll contact Dispatch and let them know to take us offline for a couple hours so we can eat and get some rest.”

The murmurs of agreement and gratefulness were cut through by a voice calling down from the loft above.

“Already taken care of.” Bobby looked up in surprise to see a tall, unfamiliar man leaning against the railing and looking over at them. Tanika – who had been man behind – hovered by his shoulder, looking worried. What on earth. “Though you'll be offline for considerably more than that while cover is called in. Folks, I appreciate that you are all exhausted and in desperate desire of a shower, but if I could ask you allow Nash, Han, Diaz and Bosko to go first? You four, be as quick as you can and meet me upstairs. We need to talk.”

“Excuse me, but just who are you?!” Bobby demanded, not noticing that behind him, some of the other firefighters had already recognized the man and were murmuring amongst themselves, eyeing those named in curiosity and slight – though mostly calculating – concern.

“Apologies, how rude of me: Christopher Callahan, Internal Affairs. I'm here on behalf of Chief Alonzo. Unfortunately, I was not here quick enough to grab you before you were dispatched on that four alarm fire. But now that you're back, there are some things we need to discuss.” His gaze moved to the rest of the assembled firefighters. “I will of course explain to all of you what will be going on – I'm afraid there will be some changes around here for the foreseeable future. Now, I understand Captain Nash usually cooks for you, but in the interest of getting you all fed promptly Tanika here and I discussed it and ordered a bunch of take out for you. It should be arriving shortly,” He glanced at his phone screen, presumably to check the status of their delivery. “I well remember how exhausting and famishing calls like that can be from my own active duty days. We ordered a selection, so hopefully there will be something for everyone, though we did attempt to go by what Tanika could remember of each of your general preferences,”

There were some murmurs of thanks and a general lightening of mood – while Bobby was a good cook and he did enjoy it, they were all apparently quite pleased about not having to wait while he whipped even a quick meal up. Bobby, who had actually briefly contemplated suggesting takeout before deciding he wasn't quite tired enough not to cook and would appreciate the chance to unwind and order his thoughts that the task usually afforded him, scowled.

But, he did move to clean up, washing and changing as quickly as he could before heading upstairs where tired, hungry firefighters were already digging into the small mountain of containers on the table.

He made his way over to where Callahan was eating out of a container of his own, surveying the scene from where he was hanging back still against the railing. Bobby absently noted a couple firefighters swap out with freshly cleaned ones, heading to get cleaned up and changed themselves. While there were more than 4 showers, there were not nearly enough for the whole crew to shower at once, so they were all used to being quick and taking turns after calls.

Bobby bypassed the food, heading towards Callahan and hoping he looked appropriately stern. “Well?” He asked. “Care to explain yourself now?”

Callahan just looked at him calmly, and took another mouthful of food. He chewed and swallowed before speaking – Bobby did not appreciate the gesture that in that moment felt distinctly like a power play. With Bobby on the losing side. “In a moment, Captain. While I asked that the four of you get situated first, I would like to speak with you all as a group. I trust no one is due to leave in the next… say, twenty minutes? Half an hour?”

Bobby frowned, but shook his head. “No, everyone here has at least a couple hours left on their shift at the very earliest – most of us are on until tomorrow.”

Callahan nodded. “Very well, thank you. Would you like to grab some food for yourself before we begin? I'm happy to speak with you first, but you may not wish to have this conversation on an empty stomach.”

“I'll be just fine, thank you,” Bobby replied shortly – and he was trying to remain polite and professional, he really was, but he suddenly had a very bad feeling and he had been rather thrown by the other man's abrupt appearance and his somewhat dire hints so far.

Callahan nodded, and stood from his leaning position. “As you wish. Your office? This will be a conversation best held in private, I think – though we will, of course, be filling in the rest of your crew on the broad strokes.”

Glancing around, Bobby took in the assembled firefighters who weren't even trying to act like they weren't listening in, most of them blatantly staring at the pair even as they devoured their own food, and he sighed. “Of course. Right this way.”

Leading the way, Bobby held open the door for the internal affairs man and then closed it behind him. He then gestured him to the chair in front of the desk and pointedly took a seat in his own behind it.

Had he known it would be the last time he would be sitting, he would perhaps have taken a little less momentary smug delight over his own little power play.

As it was, Callahan seemed completely unaffected by it anyway. He just sat his takeout down on a clear space near the edge of the desk and pulled out a tablet from the bag he had carried in. He took a moment, situating the bag back by the leg of his chair and tapped away at the screen for a moment to apparently find whatever it was he wanted. 

Bobby got himself settled, and arched an eyebrow at the man across from him. “Well, Mr Callahan, what is this about?”

He was met with a professionally bland smile, and the tablet being handed across to him. “This is your official notice that you are being placed on unpaid suspension, effective immediately. Concerning evidence has come to light, and we will be investigating accordingly. As this is your second suspension in less than a year and the allegations are serious, you are not eligible for it to be paid. Please sign the indicated box to acknowledge you have received it; a copy will be forwarded to your own email when you do so.”

Bobby felt the blood drain from his face, and his eyes almost bugged out of his face as he frantically scanned the screen in front of him.

Yep. Right there – notice of suspension for one Robert Wade Nash! What on earth –?!

“W-what? I don't – what is this about?!”

“Please sign the document, Captain Nash.”

In a daze, Bobby did as he was ordered without really processing it, and then felt the tablet be removed from his hands.

When he managed to look up, Callahan was eyeing him critically. “You sure you don't want any food before we go any further? Something to drink?”

Bobby shook his head dazedly, then attempted to wrestle himself back under control. “No – no thank you, I'm fine. What is this about?”

Callahan sighed, and Bobby wasn't sure he would have wanted his job. Investigating fellow firefighters? IA were in general a fairly unliked lot, it had to be said. 

“I'll be blunt, Captain: a lot. I've only been on this case since this morning, and there is already a frankly concerning amount of evidence and concerns to look into. As it stands, you are officially suspended due to your actions in regards to Firefighter Buckley, effectively firing her without firing her and without cause – constructive dismissal – as well as breaking HIPAA, spreading false medical information, and discrimination.”

Buck? This was about Buck?!

Bobby couldn't believe what he was hearing. “How – none of that is true!”

“No? So you have not denied her return to work?”

“She isn't ready!”

“Oh? According to whom?”

“She's not cleared for active duty.” He snapped – he couldn't help it.

“She's fully cleared and recertified, actually. By a whole host of medical and other professionals.”

“I – she's not cleared on her medication!”

“She is actually. Nash, you do not have the authority to categorically deny someone's right to work – you never have had. As it is, you have also misrepresented the LAFD by pretending it was the brass who denied her return – so, I would hope, part of you must have realised what you were doing was wrong if you felt the need to lie to her about it.

“On top of that, this has followed on from a pattern of discriminatory behaviour in regards to her. A brief investigation has also unearthed some other concerning decisions you have made in your leadership of this station. For one – why exactly have you got Bosko here on active duty when she has not provided the proper medical clearance paperwork?”

Bobby blinked, momentarily startled by the apparent change in subject. “Bosko? But – she's fine! What medical clearance?”

“Nash, she was in the tsunami. She is reported to have had broken ribs in the tsunami as well. No where have I seen evidence of her being medically cleared to return to active duty, nor is there evidence of her passing a psych evaluation to return either. Just transfer requests from you having her work here.”

“But she's fine.” Bobby protested. “She's cleared to work! She's just filling in here until her station is rebuilt!”

“Not by the department she isn't, and that will be being rectified. And I'm aware of that, just as I am aware that this shift was on duty and helped in the rescues when the tsunami hit. Why did you and your team not undergo psychological evaluations after that?”

“I – they're not mandatory!”

“No, not strictly speaking, but they are expected after a disaster like that. And given the recent history of this house even just since you yourself became captain, it should have been even more obvious you should adhere to those guidelines. As it stands, most of you will not be being pulled off of active duty at this very moment, but you will all be undergoing the evaluations you should have gotten after both the tsunami and the bombing that took out one of your trucks. I understand then it could have been explained away by the change in management with Interim Captain Han stepping down and yourself stepping back up and such things getting lost in the transition, but you don't have that excuse this time – flimsy as it even is. Depending on the results of those evaluations – which you yourself will be undergoing as well – more people may be placed on leave as necessary.”

“I…” Bobby swallowed. “I'm sorry, but I do not feel that that is necessary. If any of my people would like to speak to someone then of course I will facilitate it, but everyone is coping fine. There's no need for mandatory therapy.” Lord knew Bobby did not want to go.

“Well, it's a good thing it's not your concern any longer then, isn't it,” Callahan said brightly. “After all, you're suspended. As such, you may leave immediately. You may stay for what I tell the rest of the shift, but after that you need to collect your belongings and go home. You will not return to this station until the investigation is completed. You will be called for an initial interview shortly, and we hope to clear this all up as quickly as we can. In the meantime, do try to make yourself available for when we have questions. And believe me – we have a lot.”

Callahan probably shouldn't be enjoying himself as much as he was. It was a pretty thankless job he had, most of the time, and he found he made more enemies than friends.

After all, no one liked some nosy IA official digging into their affairs. Generally, they were considered a bunch of snakes and traitors. He didn't much mind – someone had to do the job, after all, whether anyone liked it or not.

But for this? Well, it was annoying, but more than that he wanted to know how the hell it had even gotten this far.

Alonzo had already admitted that he himself had dropped the ball in keeping on top of Buckley's recovery, though he had shared the emails he had received from her. Emails where he – by request – had been cc’d into confirmations of her various doctors notes and clearances that she had been sending to her captain and HR rep as dictated. A rep who was supposed to then sort things for her, but who had apparently – for currently unknown reasons – been altering things.

Really, it wasn't that surprising that Alonzo hadn't known what was going on, because by the emails he received she should be well on her way to being back on active duty again.

Nash, however, had apparently been getting – or at least sending – some rather different emails.

Callahan had already got his hands on a copy of the so-called doctors note from the ER doctor at the hospital she supposedly went to for her ‘pulmonary embolism’ – notably, a hospital not involved in Buckley's recovery to date.

It had to be a fake, but it was a reasonably good fake – signed off by a real doctor and everything when Callahan had googled him (wonderful investigative tool, that).

He had reached out to said hospital for answers, and they hoped to get back to him by tomorrow at the latest.

He half hoped he would manage to get Nash into a psych eval – Lord knew the man needed one, and Callahan really kind of wanted to know what in the world was going on inside his head.

Then again, he may get fired before they could sit him down in a doctors office – who knew.

As it was, he didn't predict Nash would get out of this one – and it was entirely his own fault.

Now, however, he had to break the news to A-shift that their sainted captain was – yet again, and less than a year since the last time as well – suspended indefinitely.

Joy.

Following a pale Nash back out of his (former, though the man didn't know it yet) office, Callahan glanced around the room. Hmm, everyone appeared to be here… Better check though. “Is everyone here? Anyone missing?”

There was a chorus of mixed positives and negatives – his own fault for asking the questions he had that would naturally have conflicting answers, he supposed – but it seemed that everyone was, indeed, here.

“Excellent. I won't keep you long.” He glanced round the room, eyes lingering on Han, Diaz and Bosko. “Just a couple things I have to inform you of. Firstly, as he has just been informed, Robert Nash is suspended, effective immediately.” He ignored the reactions this brought on, just keeping right on talking and forcing them to stop and listen to him. “The investigation is ongoing, so cannot be discussed in detail. So some cover will need to be brought in for him – I'm sure you'll all be pleased to hear that Han is not in the running after his last go round,” He added dryly, to snickers, breaths of relief, and grumbling (semi) outrage from Han himself – and even he had to admit he had been somewhat… intense as interim captain. 

“So who will be covering?” Han asked, “Hen?” 

Callahan blinked, then placed the name. “Paramedic Wilson?” He asked, just to clarify, and at the nods in answer shook his head. “No. None of you will be covering – we are bringing in an experienced captain this time. Captain Jeshan Mehta of the 133 will be arriving shortly, having agreed to temporarily transfer to keep things running smoothly around here.”

“An outsider?!” That was Han again, because of course it was.

“But sir,” Ah, Wilson, “Wouldn't it be better to have someone who knows the team covering while Bobby's away? And how long will this be for, anyway?”

Forever, by the looks of it – but he didn't say that. “We are deliberately bringing in someone who doesn't have history with you outside working occasional shared scenes together, Wilson.” He replied instead – which was true. It was slightly annoying logistically that the man worked B-shift, but he was happy to change for a while and his own crew would do fine with a temporary captain coming in. Plus, Mehta had been a Union Rep recently, so that was also a factor – he was far more up to date on basic anything than this lot appeared to be, and would (hopefully) get them an actual Rep (who would, preferably, do their damn job) by the time he left. Whenever that would be… “This station has been a mess long enough – and your insular thinking has caused a lot of problems. So no, there will be no temporary promotion of anyone who would just sweep more problems under the rug due to personal ties or anything like that. Mehta will be a neutral, unbiased party. And he will be here to assess the station as a whole while the investigation is carried out. You will, in addition, have some other floaters as Han, Diaz and Bosko are also being placed on leave for various reasons – I will speak with the three of you individually in a moment to explain more. If you would like to share specifics with the rest of your shift after that then you may, of course, but that is at your discretion. I will just give a general overview after I have spoken with them.”

“Secondly,” He continued, even as said trio opened their mouths to argue – he wasn't interested in hearing it, though Diaz in particular looked especially pissed off. Bosko… oh, now that was a level of worry he hadn't been expecting. Did she have something to hide…? Hmm, interesting. He hadn't really been interested in her before this, but now he was.

Anyway – “While the rest of you are not being placed on immediate leave, you will all be undergoing mandatory psych evals. If these clear you for active duty then you may continue on, but if you are not cleared then you will be benched until such time as you can pass it without concern. Any questions about that?”

A hand was raised, and Callahan had to bite back an amused smirk. “Yes?”

“Why do we all need psych evals?” There was a general muttering and grumbling of agreement at this and look, Callahan got it – no one wanted to go for a psych eval, it wasn't enjoyable in the slightest.

Plus there was, unfortunately, still a prevailing stigma against mental health and taking care of your own that infested the first responder world. They were getting better in general, it had to said, but… slowly. So slowly.

And, there was still that group mentality: as an individual you may not be averse to it, may even actively do something about it – but put you in a group with a loud dissenting voice? Well, then, you were generally going to murmur along with that voice, not against it weren't you.

Sadly, that was true for most things – and likely how a lot of problems had started in this station and just never got properly dealt with.

He sighed. “Look, I know it's not something anyone likes to do. But the fact of the matter is, you were – mostly – all there when the truck was bombed. You should have gone through one back then – you may not have been injured, but that was still a traumatic event for each and every one of you in different ways. In addition to that, you all worked the tsunami. Are you honestly about to tell me that no one is in any way affected by that? That's two traumatic events in a handful of months. And before that, many of you worked the mass casualty plane crash. Carrying all that trauma around – even if you don't realize you are – is detrimental for your own health but also for your ability to do your job. So go to the evals, talk to someone impartial who wasn't there and who doesn't know you and who may never even see you again. It is for your benefit, and the benefit of the people we serve.

“Plus, come on guys,” He added with a sardonic grin, “Think of how much money most people willingly shell out to speak to a therapist. You're getting it for free.” 

There were a couple of reluctant chuckles at that, and he took the small win he could. While there didn't appear to be any outright hostility towards the idea – right at this very moment – Callahan was not fool enough to think that every one of these people would go without a fuss.

Ah well – not really his problem, he was just the messenger for that part. Message delivered.

Onto the next thing.

“Thirdly, I understand there has been some confusion and misinformation over Firefighter Buckley’s work status. So let me make it very clear: she is fully cleared and recertified to return to active duty, and she will be doing so imminently. However, for a number of reasons she will not be returning to this station. Do not harass her over any of it, or there will be consequences. 

“As some of you may be aware, she was originally assigned here so that this house would not lose its heavy rescue status. If any of you would like to gain those certifications yourself, please reach out and we will see about getting you onto those courses. If Firefighter Diaz returns here after his leave of absence then you will keep heavy rescue status, but if he does not someone will either need to certify, join already with those certifications, or you will lose your status as a station. While you have Bosko temporarily who is certified, that doesn't help you in the long run. And Diaz, you may be asked to take extra certifications as well to keep the station ranked as it was. Despite what some of you like to claim, Buckley is actually highly competent and knows what she's doing. As your captain can attest, she is highly sought after and has her pick of stations to go to who have requested her.

“Oh and while we're on the subject of Buckley – I am aware of the messages she sent earlier today, and I can attest that she did not suffer from a pulmonary embolism at any point. That whole situation is being looked into.

“Third – no, fourth? Yeah, I think it's fourth – Paramedic Han will be stepping down from his role as Union Rep, as he is well past his term. An interim Rep can be appointed, or you can hold a vote on who you would like for the next year. Captain Mehta will be helping with that.

“Lastly, there are currently multiple lines of enquiry being investigated, and you may be called to testify in them. If you are called for questioning at any time, it does not necessarily mean you yourself are under investigation. I know that it is not pleasant to have your house, your teammates investigated, but unfortunately, it is necessary. Therefore, to make this as quick and painless as possible, please make yourself available when you are contacted and answer as truthfully as possible about anything you may have witnessed – knowingly or not.”

Aware that he had just hurled a lot at them – and after an exhausting call, as well – Callahan gave them all a moment to sit with that before looking towards Bosko. “Firefighter Bosko, if you would? This will only take a moment,” He outstretched an arm towards the captain's office, gesturing for her to lead the way which she did with a nervous nod.

“Am I in trouble?” She asked bluntly as he waved her to take a seat while he took his own – behind the desk this time, though Nash's little attempt at a power play had amused him earlier. 

He smiled slightly, “Not in trouble, no,” He assured her (‘yet’, he added silently – because there was something about her nervousness, try as she did to hide it. Callahan had been in this job a long time by now, and he recognized when people actually had something to hide. Or, well – at least thought they did). “Simply a bureaucratic matter – you have not submitted all your required paperwork to be back at work.”

She blinked, looking confused. “I – sorry?”

“You were injured in the tsunami, correct? Broken ribs, I believe?”

She gave a reluctant nod.

“Well, you have not submitted the proper paperwork to testify that they have healed and you are cleared for active duty again.” Frankly, he wondered if they even had healed before she returned – given the timeframe, he highly doubted it. 

She did not look impressed. “Paperwork? I'm being benched because of paperwork?!”

“You're being benched because working without clearance – working while injured, especially with broken ribs – is negligent at best. You are placing both yourself, your teammates, and the members of the public we are called on to help in unnecessary risk by ignoring medical advice. If your ribs are indeed fully healed, then simply submit a signed doctor's note to that effect and you can be returned to active duty. Hell, use the rest of this shift to go down to the ER if you like, and if they give you the all clear then you can be back for your next scheduled shift! But submit that paperwork, or you will not be returning to work.”

Bosko sighed, but nodded. “Alright. I, uh… I hadn't realised about it. I'll get it in as soon as I can,” Interesting that she thought working with broken ribs was alright – had she done it before? Cooper was supposed to be a hard ass who followed the rules – was that exaggerated too, like Nash's own supposed reputation? (Not that that was all that great itself, depending who you asked he was coming to find...) Or had she hidden injuries in the past and kept working like now?

“Was that everything?” She sounded a little tentative, though trying not to be – ah, so she was hiding something. And was apparently afraid he had found it.

Well, he hadn't been planning on digging into her further than the paperwork oversight, but now he was.

Was she somehow involved in the whole Nash mess? He did seem more lenient with her than he had ever been with Buckley – was there a reason he had specifically requested her to come work at his station?

“Yes, that's everything. You're free to leave,” Everything for now, he mused internally.

He had no doubt he would be seeing her again sometime soon though.

She nodded, stood to go – and then hesitated.

He arched an eyebrow, “Was there anything you wanted to tell me?”

She bit her lip, seemingly debating something internally. “I, uh… You're looking into Nash and Buckley, right? I mean, you said she's clear to work, but the way some of the people here speak about her…”

Callahan internally sat up at attention. “Yes?” As an outsider perspective, perhaps she had picked up more than the others may have who were just used to this way of life by now – unfortunately.

“Well, uh – look, it's nothing major, y’know? I just… it sits a bit wrong, I guess? It's probably nothing –”

“Well, even if it is, I'd still like to hear it.” He assured her, “What's bothering you?”

She sighed. “My locker.” She said bluntly. “Well, the turn out place as well, but mostly the locker. There are free ones, you know? But when I got here, my name had been taped over someone else's, using their ‘B’ for mine. I didn't think much of it, y’know?”

Callahan had a sudden feeling he knew where this was going. “Oh?”

“Yeah. I mean, I figured someone had newly left or something, and they just hadn't taken that name plate down yet. But then I saw a couple others trying to move me to a new locker – I hadn't actually put anything in yet – and arguing with Nash and Han when they caught them. I still have both areas assigned to me.”

“I take it Nash and Han won that argument then?”

“Yeah – I didn't really catch much of it though. But I got curious, so I looked under the tape.”

“And whose name had been covered up?”

“Buckley's.”

Of course it had. Callahan sighed. “Alright, thank you Ms Bosko. Do you know what happened to Buckley’s personal effects?”

She shook her head. “I don't know. Both were empty when I was given them.”

“Well, thank you for letting me know – I'll look into what happened to them and see if I can get them returned to her.”

Bosko nodded. “Thanks,”

Callahan followed her out of the room, and immediately all eyes were on them. Bosko just shrugged, looking utterly unbothered. “Just some paperwork I forgot to submit. If I can get it in on time I can be back next shift,”

As the room relaxed around them – Callahan couldn't help but notice that Nash was still lurking around, but he didn't call him out on it just yet – Callahan turned to Diaz. “Mr Diaz? This way please,”

Somehow managing to look both pissed off and nervous, Diaz stomped down to the captain's office and slumped into the visitors chair. It was seriously close to a glower that he eyed him with. “Well? Am I suspended or am I missing some mysterious paperwork as well then?” 

Callahan ignored the tone, and just shook his head. “Neither.” He replied calmly. “However, you are being placed on leave. Bereavement leave, mental health leave – call it whatever you like. Stop,” He held up a hand as the man instantly began arguing, looking furious. “This is not up for debate. You did not take the bereavement leave when your wife died, nor did you attend any counselling sessions. In addition to that, you indicated on your enrolment forms that you have not taken advantage of any mental health aid after returning from Afghanistan either in L.A. or in El Paso. Nor did you after the bombings. So now it is non-negotiable: you have at least three weeks leave, subject to a psych eval to determine if you will be off for longer. In addition to those three weeks, you will attend a minimum of ten mandatory therapy sessions – though these do not all have to be within those three weeks, but you do need to start them. If for any reason that therapist does not believe you would be safe to go back to active duty, then we will reassess the time frame.”

“I do not need therapy!” Came the expected hot reply.

Callahan just shrugged. “I'm afraid at this point you have no choice, Mr Diaz. Multiple people have raised concerns, and, frankly, after seeing the after action reports, you should have been referred much earlier than this as a matter of course. So go home, take a breather, and spend some time with your traumatized son.”

“I – my son is not traumatized!”

Callahan just arched an eyebrow. “Diaz, from all reports he had no contact with his mother for an extended period of time, then a short while together again before she died suddenly. Then his father was involved in a bombing that injured a woman I hear was helping a great deal with your little family in those days. Then after all that, he survived a tsunami with her. Frankly, if he was not traumatized I would be a hell of a lot more worried.”

Diaz couldn't exactly argue that any of that had happened. He still tried to get out of it though. “But why am I being placed on leave?!”

Callahan sighed. “Mr Diaz, are you really complaining about three weeks off with pay? Yes, you will have to attend mandatory therapy during that time, but it will not take up all of your time. Hell, you will be home for breakfast, and school drop off, and bedtime, and all the other things that as parents on shift work we far too often miss!”

Diaz softened just slightly at this. “You have kids?”

“Three,” He replied, then grinned wryly at the involuntary widening of the man's eyes. “I know,” He agreed. “Most grown up now – my youngest will be going into her final year of high school after the summer, which is a very scary thought!”

Diaz choked a little at this, though laughed slightly. “I'm trying not to think about Chris growing up,”

“It happened far too fast,” Callahan commiserated. “One moment they fit in one hand, the next they're off into the world themselves! Though I've found its the highest honour to be able to watch them grow and become their own person,”

Eddie smiled slightly. “It is great watching his personality evolve,” He chuckled. “Though sometimes it can feel like he has a little too much personality!”

Callahan chortled. “Oh believe me, that never goes away! One moment they're the sweetest thing ever, the next a giant ball of snark, sass and condescension! The teenage attitude seems to be happening earlier and earlier…”

Eddie shivered slightly. “Oh God, don't remind me,” He groaned. “I am not looking forward to that.”

Callahan smiled. “All the more reason to enjoy what time you can with him, no?”

Eddie sighed, and seemed to think it over a bit. “I guess,” He said. “And I do appreciate that! Just… do I have to go to therapy? I don't do therapy!”

“If you want to keep your job, then yes – you do.” He replied bluntly.

“But…look, Mr Callahan. My parents weren't exactly… thrilled that we moved out here. And with Shannon gone for good now too… Well, they think Chris would be better off with them!” He blurted out.

Callahan eyed him speculatively. “And what does that have to do with therapy?”

“They'll use it as an excuse to take custody of him!”

Callahan sighed – he felt for the man, he did, but – “Mr Diaz, no judge is going to grant them custody on that as a reason.”

“They'll claim it makes me unfit as a parent!”

“Working on yourself so you can better provide for your son? No, don't argue with me. I am aware of the toxic mindset where therapy is a weakness – I presume you and your parents adhere to this?” 

Diaz grimaced, but evidently couldn't deny it – he looked like he was about to try though. Callahan didn't give him a chance.

“However, you wouldn't leave a physical wound to fester, would you? No. So why leave mental ones to? If you go to the therapy, any judge is going to see you working on your trauma to better yourself for your son. If you don't, then, frankly Diaz, the way you are going you're going to crash and burn. And if it was just yourself that would affect, I'm not sure you'd care much. But the effect it would have on your kid? You clearly feel strongly about your parents having care of him – what would happen when all this accumulated trauma catches up with you and you have done nothing to deal with it? This is not a slight, Firefighter Diaz,” He added sharply, seeing the man in front of him already beginning to spiral. “This is basic psychology. It doesn't matter how strong you are, how much you can take – everyone has a limit. And when you reach it, everything you have ever suppressed comes crashing back in. I've seen it happen far too many times.

“So take the time off. Go to therapy. Actually put in the work to heal, don't just pay lip service. And down the line, when things start happening – because trauma always crops back up – you'll be in a far better place to deal with it. And hell, use the therapy to discuss the situation with your parents! It's clearly weighing heavily on you, and your therapist will be able to help you or at least give you pointers on where to go that your parents cannot successfully sue you for custody if they try.” Clearly, Diaz had a lot of issues. He was worried about a judge voting in his parents favour because they would react like THAT to him getting therapy?! Guy needed some serious help…

Callahan just hoped he would actually accept and utilize the help offered…

Han was the final one he had to speak with imminently – the rest could wait. Interestingly, that would leave only Wilson of the core little group Nash had built around him – he would be looking further into her, as well. While there were a few little niggles of concern – no critical thinking, just going along with what she was told re. Buckley and her supposed embolism; not questioning 1 why she was not allowed back to work despite recertifying and 2 why Nash was pushing for a desk job (as a medic, she should have questioned this); some brief mentions of her behaviour and comments (and rampant betting rumours?) in general – he did not currently have enough to suspend her outright.

From what little he had seen so far though, at the very least there would be some seminars in her future, if not a suspension. He wasn't sure about fireable offenses – he would have to look further into her, which he would be doing. Just hadn't had time yet.

Diaz, of course, was oggled curiously by everyone as soon as they stepped back into view, and he squirmed uncomfortably under the scrutiny. At the almost desperate look he sent Callahan, Callahan took pity on the man.

“Paid bereavement leave as he didn't get it when his wife died, and to allow him time to help his son who lost his mother then survived a tsunami.” Callahan told them bluntly and briefly, and was gratified when the gazes softened and people nodded in understanding. It also looked like – most – decided not to pry, which he was grateful for. Just to be sure though – “And I know firefighters are a nosy lot, but don't harass him guys. His focus is needed elsewhere,”

“You mentioned Chris is struggling,” Wilson said sympathetically. “I'm glad you can be home with him more. If you need anything,” She offered, and he offered her the ghost of a smile. 

“Thanks Hen,” 

Callahan turned towards his final victim – erm, person. “And last but not least. Paramedic Han, a word.”

“What's this about?” The man asked loudly, gesturing grandly around where he was eating and not moving from the table. “Hey, whatever you have to say, you can say in front of these guys!”

“Maybe so, but you are entitled to have this conversation in private.” Callahan replied calmly.

Han just scoffed. “Well, I know I don't have outstanding paperwork, and if you're here to tell me I'm taking bereavement leave from getting stabbed, I don't need it!” He chortled at himself, but Callahan was unamused.

"I wasn't actually, but thank you for the reminder. That'll be added to the list of things the psych evaluator will be questioning you about.”

Han's smile dimmed noticeably, but he quickly wiped away the glare it was becoming. “Right.” He scoffed. “Well come on then, what is this about,”

“In the office, Mr Han,”

 “No, you know, I don't think I will. I have nothing to hide! Tell me now!”

“Fine. You're suspended, effective immediately.”

Evidently, that was not what Han had been expecting.

Oh well, what a shame, nevermind.

Callahan just arched an eyebrow at the gaping man. “Now, Mr Han. The office?”

Nodding meekly but looking like he was rallying again, Han nevertheless followed Callahan through to the captain's office.

Sigh. This had already been a long day, and Callahan knew it would get even longer. No matter, as soon as he got back to his own office he could drop the professionalism and curse and swear up a storm in the privacy of his – thankfully not shared – office.

He had a feeling he would be talking to himself a lot over this damn case.

Oh well. At least Buckley was well out of harm's way, and hopefully on her way to a far brighter future than her tenure with the LAFD had been so far.

Chapter Text

7 months later…

Buck leaned back in her camping chair, sunglasses perched on her nose and smiled as she enjoyed the warmth of the sun on her face and the gentle breeze.

She had come a long way in seven months – her life looked very different now, and she felt as if it was finally back on track from the toxic cesspool she hadn't realized she had become ensnared in at the 118.

Life was, once again, good.

She had worked at a bunch of different stations, and was finally feeling like herself again after cutting the bullshit out of her life.

Oh, people had tried to blame her, to make their own mistakes her problem – she hadn't let them.

She did feel a bit bad about Maddie – she was her older sister, after all, and she had lived a hellish life, Buck knew. However, that did not give her a free pass to deliberately ruin Buck's life and break the law to do it.

She had gone to the other extreme – from being controlled, to the one who always needed to be in control.

Then again, that tendency had always been there in her, looking back – just dialed up to 500 since storming her way back into Buck's life.

Also illegally, not that anyone (read: the 118) had really commented on that at the time. 

Man, Ice and Sarah had been pissed when Buck had accidentally let that little nugget slip…

Anyway, Maddie was currently in jail, under court mandated therapy (though whether or not she would bother to put any actual work in for that…), and owed several thousand in fines. She would also be doing community service when she got out.

Buck didn't particularly care. She had bent over backwards when her sister had re-entered her life, paying the deposit and first few months rent on her (stupidly expensive, though she understood the paranoia in needing the security what with her dickbag ex) new place, helping get her a job, being there for her – always on Maddie's terms, of course.

And yeah, Buck hadn't given into every demand, such as being put on Buck's paperwork – why should she?

Maddie had made her choices long ago, and while Buck now had undeniable evidence Doug was an abusive bastard (having also caught Maddie in several lies as to how long that had really been going on for) that did not give Maddie the right to apparently attempt to reset the clock back to when she had made said choices.

I.e.: Buck was not a child, but a whole ass adult perfectly capable of making her own decisions and living her own life, thank you very much.

Maddie could claim she had raised Buck all she liked, and Buck WAS eternally grateful for those first few years Maddie had essentially done that.

But that did not mean Maddie got to control her, and Buck had been on her own for far longer than Maddie had ever been in her life.

Buck raised herself, after all.

She didn't give a damn what Maddie said, or what sob story she tried to sell to their parents – who actually got involved, but then dropped Maddie like a hot potato again when it became clear she had indeed lied and would definitely be going to prison. Not a look they wanted associated with their picture perfect image… Self centered pricks. 

Why Maddie had ever expected anything else, Buck didn't know… They had initially tried to get in contact with Buck over it too, but Buck had shut THAT down hard. No thank you, ugh.

Still: she had got a lot of harassment from Maddie back in the early days of the complaints against and investigations into her and the 118, to the extent that Buck had actually been granted a restraining order.

Which Maddie promptly violated multiple times, resulting in fines and a short stint of imprisonment even before her actual trial…

She never learned, did she.

Truth was, Buck hadn't even known the details of what was going on back then – it wasn't as if Maddie (or anyone else, naturally) had bothered to tell her, after all. 

Ah well. It wasn't Buck's problem, no matter what some people had tried to tell her.

Maddie had made her own bed, and now she was having to lie in it.

Maddie had been idly watching TV when Chimney had come over – well, she was sat in front of it and something was on. Had she been asked what, she wouldn't have been able to answer.

She had a lot on her mind, after all.

Evidently, something had happened with Howie too as he was both pale with shock and scowling when he let himself into her flat – far earlier than she had been expecting him, wasn't he still due on shift? She had text him earlier to say she wasn't working her own so would be home, but she hadn't checked her phone after that, knowing he was at a big fire – glancing at it, she saw he had texted that he too was off earlier than expected and was on his way over to hers. 

They had recently been vaguely discussing moving in together. It just made sense, after all! Maddie was a little wary given her past experience, but she was sure about Howie – and besides, she liked the security of him! His lease was due up soon and they were wondering about renewing it or both moving into Maddie's place – who had longer left on her lease currently.

Maddie jumped as she heard the key, heart racing as she came over to see who it was.

She let out a sigh of relief as she saw Howie letting himself in – had she been so out of it that she hadn't even realised how much time had passed? – and her welcoming smile quickly turned into a worried frown.

“Howie? Is something wrong?”

He shrugged, tossing aside his keys then turning back round to face her and hugging her back as she moved into his arms. She loved it there. “I just got suspended…”

Maddie pulled back, looking up at him in surprise. “What?! So did I!”

Howie almost did a double take. “What?! Why?!”

Maddie grimaced, then pulled him over to the couch. “Let's sit down – have you eaten?”

“Had some take out at the station – I'm not really hungry,” He admitted.

Maddie grimaced. “Me neither. So… so what happened?”

“Well, you know we were on a call?”

Maddie nodded. “Of course – I was just leaving for work when you called. That big fire, right?”

“Yeah. Anyway, when we got back to the station after it this guy from IA was there. He'd ordered a bunch of take out for us and said he needed to speak with me, Bobby, Eddie and Lena. Lena was kicked off shift until she submitted some paperwork she'd apparently forgotten about after she was injured in the tsunami, and Eddie was put on bereavement leave to help Chris. But Bobby and I were suspended. Apparently, the 118 is being investigated!”

Maddie couldn't believe what she was hearing. “But that's ridiculous! Why?!”

Chimney shrugged. “I have no idea! Although… honestly, Mads, I think it might be Buck's fault. You know those messages I told you she sent to the group chat? The IA guy knew about them. Mads, I think your sister is the one who reported us!”

Maddie felt a long-seeded (DECADES long, truthfully…) anger at her little sister flare up inside her again – as it did increasingly these days. “Evan did this?! Oh my god – Howie, I think she reported me too!”

Howie looked outraged on her behalf. “Wait, what?! But she can't report you to dispatch!”

“Maybe not, but Sue pulled me aside as soon as I got to work and told me I was suspended.” Maddie said grimly. “She said they hadn't been able to schedule anything today, but I will have a meeting tomorrow to discuss what I'm being accused of!”

Howie frowned worriedly. "Sue told you what that is, right?”

“Um – she said something about slander and defamation of character? Apparently complaints were made about my behaviour, but she didn't go into detail – she said there may be criminal charges! It's, uh, it's being investigated…”

Howie's arm tightened around her shoulder, and she leaned into his embrace. “Well, at least they're investigating – I'm sure it'll all be cleared up soon, right?! And as for criminal charges – well, you haven't done anything to warrant that! I'm sure they'll realize that soon enough.”

Maddie grimaced, but told herself to have some faith. After all, she hadn't done anything wrong. “What about you?” She asked, “Were you told why you're suspended?”

Chimney grimaced. “General behaviour, apparently. Spreading lies, breaking HIPAA… – which I have not done! This is just Buck making trouble, I think. It'll all be cleared up soon. After all, all any of us have tried to do is help her! Not that she seems to appreciate it, the ungrateful cow…”

Maddie pursed her lips in agreement. “I know. If only she would listen! I can't believe she's doing this to us!” She paused, and then asked: “Why was Bobby suspended?”

Chimney shrugged. “Callahan – the IA guy – didn't say. Just said the investigation was ongoing so the details couldn't be discussed. I'd bet it probably has something to do with Buck too though! He knew about those texts after all, and Buck said a bunch of bullshit about Bobby in them as well.” He paused, and tilted his head. “Oh, he also said I'm not allowed to be the Union rep anymore! Some BS about me being over my term, or something – which is ridiculous, because no one ever sticks to those! If it was actually an issue, it would have come up before now,” He grumbled.

Maddie looked up at him sympathetically. “I'm sorry Howie. Though, maybe it's a good thing? Less work for you!”

Howie smiled wryly, nodding slightly. “True,” He agreed. “Though it's not like I had much to do anyway, the station doesn't really have any problems a rep needed to step in for. Plus – less pay without it,”

Maddie grimaced. “Oh yeah. Still – you're lead paramedic! That's still gotta be better pay, right?”

Howie grinned slightly, and nodded. “Yeah – yeah, it is.”

“Hey, who's taking over as captain if you and Bobby aren't there? Hen?” Maddie suddenly asked, and watched as Howie grimaced.

“No – Callahan said they're bringing in someone from outside the station. Dunno why, seems like a waste of resources to shuffle multiple people around unnecessarily if you ask me!”

Maddie grimaced – really, this all seemed to be being handled rather poorly didn't it… 

“Do you know what you're going to say tomorrow?” Howie asked. “I mean, assuming that they're going off those damn texts Buck sent, that's probably a good indication of what they're accusing you of…”

Maddie grimaced, but tilted her head consideringly. “I hadn't thought of that. Honestly, I couldn't really think of what they were on about! But if it is about Buck…”

If it was about Buck, Maddie knew that the girl hadn't actually had an embolism, despite Maddie claiming she had – but she COULD have had one, and that was the point! She didn't know how to stick to her limits, and she was bound to cause a PE at some point! All Maddie was doing was pointing out the risks to her! It wasn't her fault if some people had got the wrong end of the stick and started claiming that Buck had actually suffered one…

Yes, that was good – she could easily claim that! After all, it wasn't as if Dispatch would be able to get their hands on Buck's medical files – it was illegal to share those. And she doubted they would know about the doctor's note Maddie had sent to Bobby about Buck having one.

After all, she was just showing him what it would look like when Buck DID inevitably suffer one because she wasn't listening to Maddie!

Yes. Yes, Maddie was sure she would get out of this easily – after all, it wasn't as if she had actually done anything wrong when you thought about it. She was looking out for her baby sister, who clearly needed someone to handle the real world side of things for her!

Honestly, refusing to make her former nurse, current dispatcher sister her medical proxy – ridiculous!

Needless to say, Maddie walked into her hearing the next day confident she would walk away unscathed, because it wasn't as if they could actually know everything she had said and done which MIGHT be taken the wrong way if you twisted things.

She was promptly knocked back down to earth when she was informed that the doctor who had supplied the note had had his own disciplinary hearing (somehow managed to be scheduled before her own, and wasn't that inconvenient) and had been fired. He had also spilled the beans on how she had got the paperwork from him and what exactly she had promised in the future, and they were apparently holding that against her too no matter how much she denied all of it.

They had copies of her texts to Buck, surveillance footage of her at the 118 and at Dispatch complaining about her sister as evidence of their slander, Buck's texts to the 118, evidence from the hospital on how pushy she had been and the scenes she had allegedly caused when Buck had first been hurt, Buck's blunt refusals to give her any power yet Maddie's claims she was very involved in Buck's recovery and held power to make decisions for her… The hospital Maddie had got the PE paperwork from and their categorical denial that they had ever treated Evan Buckley, let alone for a pulmonary embolism… (Maddie had deliberately gone to one that did NOT have anything to do with her recovery post ladder truck bombing for a reason)

Yeah. It did not look good when they presented it all like that – but they were completely misrepresenting everything! It was ridiculous, everyone was working against her!

Maddie didn't know how or why but clearly, there was some, some… conspiracy or something against her! Evan was being a whiny little bitch and thought that this was how she would get Maddie to back off and stop trying to stop the little idiot from destroying her own life.

Well Maddie was not going to stand for it!

She would… she would protest it! She would go to her OWN Union, and complain that she had been unfairly fired! A Union rep had even been in the meeting, they would know!

AND she would make sure that this ridiculousness of this so-called ‘evidence’ being handed over to the police as she was informed when she was told she was fired would stop as well!

Goddammit Evan, WHY did she always have to make life so much more difficult for everyone around her?! Why was she always so damn selfish?!

Buck had been called to testify at her sister's trial, but by that time Maddie had well and truly blown any vague specks of good will she may have still held for her to smithereens. Had Buck been inclined to hold back before, she wasn't anymore. So, she had answered everything put to her as fully and truthfully as she could when she was asked, and she had tried to be as unbiased as possible. She told everything from her perspective, and she didn't try to spin it to protect her sister as she would have in the past – nor did she deliberately try to paint her as some monster, tempting though it admittedly was at times...

It didn't really matter anyway: there was enough evidence against Maddie to convict her, and she ended up being held in contempt of the court as well when she couldn't keep her mouth shut.

Eh – not Buck's problem. She had made her bed, now she had to lie in it.

Buck was pulled from her thoughts as she heard voices approaching, and she looked round with a smile. Standing, she pushed her sunglasses up onto her head and loped over to where Isabel Diaz and her daughter Pepa were approaching, both with containers she knew would be full of delicious food. “Abuela!” Buck mock scolded. “You said you would let me know when you arrived so I could help bring all that up here!”

Abuela waved her off with a mischievous smile, while Pepa chuckled next to her. “Oh there's plenty more to come,” Isabel replied in amusement. “You can help bring all that from the cars!” She looked around inquisitively. “And where is your young man?”

Buck quirked a grin. “Stuck in traffic. He should be here soon – he was picking up a couple friends of ours from the airport who are coming to visit for a bit. I hope you don't mind if they come along?”

“Not at all, not at all! The more the merrier dear,” Abuela waved the concern away. “Its going to be quite a full house! Now, sobrina, perhaps you could accompany Pepa to the car while I start setting up here?”

Buck grinned. “Course, Abuela. Lead the way,” She smiled at Pepa, and the two chatted about inconsequential things as they meandered back through the park.

Buck wasn't entirely sure what the occasion was – in fact, she was pretty sure there wasn't really one. What had started as a small, informal get together had quickly spiralled, the guest list ever growing – just as Abuela liked it, apparently! There were a handful of birthdays around this time, so Abuela had declared this a kind of joint celebration in the end – but had decreed that there were to be no gifts brought today as it wasn't actually anyone's birthday and that it would get too expensive. Especially since not everyone would know or be close with everyone who had a birthday even vaguely close to today… (read: this, last, or next month apparently…)

Still: Buck was more than happy to come along and bring some food – she had got pretty into baking, and had been back on a Peruvian food kick recently as well (now that she was officially off the blood thinners and didn't have to watch what she ate quite as religiously anymore on that front), missing her time down there – and had offered her services to help set up. Abuela had graciously accepted, and ordered her to invite some more people – so this was going to be a fairly big event, hence why they were at a local park and not someone's back yard, where people could come and go freely!

“Have you seen any of your and Eddito’s old firehouse crew recently?” Pepa asked as they both leaned into her car boot, and Buck glanced over at her enquiringly. 

“No?” She replied. “Why would I?” She had, to the surprise of no one but said ‘firefam’ (a new name they had coined for themselves while she was off injured apparently, and that since being investigated they had made a point to claim she was excluded from – joke was on them, she couldn't care less), ended up blocking the lot of them very quickly when the inevitable harassment began – though it had let her know about Callahan's trip to the firehouse and the immediate consequences for four people there – and Maddie. Guy moved fast… She currently had sporadic contact with Eddie and a little with Karen and Athena – mostly for the kids sake – but Buck policed her boundaries hard and fast and did not allow anything she wasn't comfortable with. Bobby she suddenly recalled was just recently released from his own stint in jail – he had tried to contact her while he was inside, but she hadn't played ball.

She wasn't interested in anything he had to say.

“I just wondered,” Pepa responded. “You know Eddito invited them today?” 

Buck rolled her eyes slightly – careful to do it when she wasn't looking at Pepa, though the woman probably knew anyway, she was scary perceptive like that – and just shrugged. “I figured.”

“Are you worried?”

“Nope.” Buck pulled the boot closed, turning to look at Pepa, her gaze calm and steady. “Why would I be? I have nothing to fear from them anymore – they have no power over me,”

Pepa smiled at her. “I'm glad, sobrina. You will not be too uncomfortable?”

Buck just shrugged, and grinned slightly. “Not at all. Besides – I've got some friends coming who had been dying to have a ‘little chat’ with that lot. I really wouldn't want to be them if they try anything…”

Pepa laughed loudly at this, and Buck chuckled as well as they began to make their way back through the park. “You know,” Pepa mused. “I almost want to see it…”

‘Hen and Buck stood clearly speaking off to one side, while Bobby sat at the table flicking through a very familiar notebook.

Screen Buck broke away and approached Bobby.

After only a few short moments, Bobby was up out of his seat and shoving her into the nearest wall, arm held across her throat as he got right up in her face –’

Callahan reached out and paused the video playing on the screen, then blinked calmly across at Bobby. “That's a fireable offense right there, Nash. So tell me again why exactly you think you're just going to walk away from this suspension scott free?”

Bobby swallowed, staring at the screen and feeling that old familiar anger curdle up inside him again.

Goddamn that Buckley, she was ruining everything!

“So who is young Bradley picking up?” Abuela asked as Buck and Pepa set down their loot, Pepa swatting away one of her young grandchildren with an amused look as they tried to pilfer one of Buck's cakes. The little one ran off with a shrieking giggle and Buck watched her go with a grin. 

She turned her attention back to Abuela. “A couple old friends of ours – we used to fly together. Jake and Natasha – Hangman and Phoenix. Nix is Rooster's best friend I guess, and Hangman's mine. Fair warning, he's an absolute asshole and will probably have that dialled up to 11 if the old 118 are here, but he's great really.”

Both elder Diazes arched eyebrows at this, but reserved their comments until later and seeing this young man for themselves.

“And your in-laws, are they coming?”

“Yep,” Buck chirped happily, opening and setting out a container of mouthwatering tamales. Damn she loved some Diaz cooking… “They're on their way too – Ice had some meeting this morning, but he said he'd cleared his calendar the rest of the day,”

“That's nice dear,” 

Abuela and Pepa exchanged a look while Buck wasn't looking their way: something told them there may be fireworks before this day was out…

Ah well. It was bound to happen at some point – and really, by all accounts her ex colleagues deserved everything they would get.

And love him though they did, they were including Eddie in that.

Eddie couldn't believe this was happening.

Dios, this was the last thing he needed! While he didn't THINK he was one of the ones being investigated – he was on bereavement leave to help Chris, after all, not actually suspended like Bobby and Chim and even HEN now… – he didn't think being arrested would be something the LAFD would just ignore. That Callahan bloke seemed like a right stickler…

Ugh.

Well, at least he wouldn't have to spend the night here – hopefully. It wasn't even dark out yet, thank God, and he already had someone on their way to pay his bail!

And hadn't that been a quandary over who to call…

Abuela and Pepa were obviously out, he'd never hear the end of it – for similar reasons the cousins were out too, as he had no doubt whatsoever that any and all of them would inevitably snitch on him, resulting in the Abuela/Tia lectures he was trying to avoid.

And really, the last thing he wanted was this getting back to his parents.

Shitty and worthless as he was convinced therapy was, he had at least come away from his first session with assurances that attending said therapy would not give his parents the ammunition they wanted to categorically steal custody of Christopher. He had been told yet again that it would actually go in his favour to be seen to be getting some help and working to better himself (he was working on believing that…), especially if his parents went down the route of him having issues such as from the war and/or Shannon as reasoning why he was unfit to raise his own son.

He had even been given some signposting for legal advice over it!

Still – he didn't think his therapist would be too thrilled to hear he had punched a guy over a handicapped parking spot and the guy badmouthing Chris.

Eddie didn't particularly care what the therapist thought – he just hoped he wouldn't have to talk about it…

He could never call Bobby about something like this, Eddie would literally die of mortification!

Not to mention he was certain Athena would have something to say about it…

Hen he was pretty sure would judge him, but he knew they were tight with money just now, what with the suspension, their failed attempts at IVF and Hen considering medical school.

Not to mention, she'd give him that look. No thank you.

Chimney would probably just crack a joke, bail him out then take him out for a beer – but then again, Chimney had enough problems of his own right now and helping Maddie through her own ordeal. And Eddie would never push his problems onto other people – he wasn't selfish like that.

He had even briefly considered reaching out to Buck – make HER pay to bail him out.

He was a little afraid to find out if she had unblocked him or not though, not that he would ever admit it – and hadn't THAT been a shock when he had realized that the blasted woman had actually done it!

Un. Believable.

He had given in eventually (it hadn't taken long, admittedly) and had Carla contact her on his behalf about seeing Chris. Though he hadn't spoken to his mandated therapist about much, he had consented to giving a brief overview of recent events – mostly because he figured the man already knew, what with Eddie being ordered there and all. And the therapist… well. He had mentioned offhandedly that seeing Buck would probably HELP Chris – he had spent all that time trying to find her, after all; they both had. And given that he often called out for her during his nightmares…

(A small part of Eddie acknowledged that it would probably be good for Buck to see Chris too – because if Chris was having nightmares and so was Eddie… was she? Those had been the absolute WORST few seconds of Eddie's life when Buck had told him she couldn't find his son, and Buck had lived that for HOURS, staggering around helping others yet STILL hunting for his son, determined not to give up.)

(Eddie wasn't sure he could have done it.)

(Eddie knew he couldn't have helped others and looked for Chris, let alone rescued the both of them in the initial wave, so Chris had told it before he clammed up about the whole thing.)

So yeah. Carla was in contact with Buck, because of course she was, and Eddie often forgot it had been Buck who had introduced him to the woman, they had known each other first so just because Eddie wasn't speaking to Buck, why would that mean Carla had to stop as well… (Yeah, he had got an earful for that from Carla as well – possibly the kindest smackdown he had ever been given, but a talking to nonetheless.)

But yeah. He couldn't call Buckley.

Lena, thankfully, had come through for him – AND she offered to show him a healthier outlet later as well when she picked him up! Great!

He was grateful he hadn't had to wait long, and was soon being led out to where an unimpressed looking Lena was waiting. After being handed back his belongings, Eddie slunk sullenly out after Bosko as she wordlessly jerked her head to signal him to come with her, feeling all of two feet tall.

To his surprise, she took him to a bar, buying him a drink and making him explain himself.

When hearing that Chris was at a sleepover, she had told him she was taking him somewhere.

“Are you going to tell me where we're going yet?” He asked as he climbed into her car – and he was determinedly NOT thinking about how he was going to get his own truck back later, Jesus Christ it was probably impounded or something, he was absolutely over his limit for parking…

“You need a healthier outlet than punching random people in the street,” She told him bluntly – and he liked that about her: her bluntness. “I’m taking you somewhere you can get that.”

“What, you're not just gonna tell me I need therapy?” Eddie snorted bitterly, and she rolled her eyes.

“Never really been a fan myself – hasn't done much for me. Nah, sometimes you just need to punch something – and there's only so much satisfaction and relief you can get from a punching bag, y’know? I've seen you whaling on that one at the station,” She added, and he grunted in agreement. “Incidentally, have you heard any more about that investigation?” She asked lightly. “I haven't been back yet to see for myself,”

Eddie just shrugged, staring out the window at the passing streets. “Not really. People are being called in for questioning, but I haven't been yet. Chim is convinced it was Buckley who started it – seems to think she's complaining about Bobby keeping her off shift.”

“Good for her,” Lena said, and – what?!

Eddie turned to glower at her. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”

“Exactly what I said.” Lena replied calmly, not rising to the bait in the face of his ire. “If I was fully cleared and recertified to come back to work and Nash pulled that crap with me, I'd be complaining too. And that's not even taking into consideration the bullshit her sister is pulling too!”

“Maddie hasn't done anything!”

“Seriously Diaz? Falsely claiming the woman had a pulmonary embolism, of all things? As if that's not easily disproven if any of you had cared to just ask… Providing fake medical documentation for it?! Honestly, she seems to have done a great job of turning you lot against Buckley – or have you always treated her like a child? Cause I've been thinking, and the way you all speak about and treat her you'd think she was five years old or something from what I've witnessed!”

“That is not true!”

“Whatever – it's not my problem. All I’m saying is, good for Buckley getting herself out of what sounds increasingly like a pretty toxic situation with her sister and with Nash. And, honestly, the rest of you. But you haven't been called in yet?”

“No,” Eddie huffed, glowering at her for a moment longer and trying hard not to listen to the small voice in the back of his mind that had been thinking along those same lines recently.

He tried hard not to listen to it, generally.

This was all Buck's fault for pushing too hard, for not listening to people who knew better than her – she was just causing trouble because they weren't paying attention to her, and everyone knew it!

Sure, Maddie had lied (that had apparently been proven, not that Chim had meant to let that slip…), and Bobby had submitted her false report to the Brass. But that was hardly Bobby's fault! He shouldn't be punished because someone he trusted had lied to him!

Whatever. Buckley was causing problems, and it was not Eddie's job to help her.

She could sort her own damn mess for once.

“Hen was though,” He continued after a moment, firmly shoving thoughts of Buckley from his mind. “She's been suspended too.”

Lena looked over at him in surprise, before quickly looking back at the road. “She has?!”

“Uh huh. She didn't really want to talk about why though – just said she'd be back soon, they were just clearing some stuff up.”

“Huh…” Lena sounded more thoughtful than surprised now, and Eddie wondered what she was thinking about. He didn't bother to ask.

Thankfully, the conversation topic changed, and soon enough they we're pulling up outside of some warehouse.

Eddie was surprised by the location and the number of cars outside, but he followed Lena willingly inside.

It was insane, but… Well. After the initial shock over what he was seeing, Eddie could definitely see the appeal.

Lena was grinning as she took in Eddie's reaction, and handed him a beer he hadn't even noticed her leave to get. “So, what do you think? Better outlet, or what?”

A grin spreading across his own face, Eddie accepted the beer, looking around again and absorbing the atmosphere. “...yeah. Yeah, absolutely!”

“Great,” Lena smirked next to him, both their gazes on the shirtless guys in the ring. “Well, today it's just watching since it's your first time. But if you want in? Let me know, I'll get your name on the roster,”

Eddie turned to her, a growing hunger in his chest and a light in his eyes. “You serious? I can have a turn?”

Lena just laughed. “Sure, big guy. Lotsa people come here to blow off some steam – what did I tell you? Waaaay better than therapy,”

Eddie turned his gaze back to the fight, already looking forwards to getting his own chance in that ring.

Damn but this already seemed like exactly the outlet he had been looking for without even realising.

Brilliant!

Chapter Text

Eddie arrived soon after Pepa and Abuela, and Buck could tell that the guy wanted to talk to her, but didn't seem to be able to psyche himself up to do so.

She wasn't as pissed as she had been previously with him. She knew he was going through it, that he had had trauma after trauma dumped on him in the past year – but that did NOT mean that he got to use her as his emotional punching bag, and so had she. 

Was she incapable of dealing with her emotions so turning them all to anger and taking them out on her so called best friend?

No she was not, because she was not a child – unlike a certain someone.

She had to admit she had seen a change in him recently, though – he wasn't as angry anymore, which was a great thing.

Any interactions they had were awkward and stilted these days, usually just when Buck picked up or dropped off Chris – when they weren't using Carla as a long suffering intermediary. 

Much as she knew she obviously had no right to the kid and that really, it was probably kind of weird her and the eight – soon to be nine – year old being close when she and his father were barely on speaking terms, she still couldn't bring herself to regret continuing to be there for the kid after Eddie decided to let her be again.

It had helped her enormously, actually – the tsunami, though she was dealing with it in therapy, had still affected her, naturally.

Losing Chris had done a number on her, and she hadn't realized how much it was still affecting her until she had been able to spend time with the kid again and see for herself that he was safe.

It helped with the nightmares, and her heart had almost burst when he had whispered to her that seeing her again, getting to spend time with her was helping Chris’s nightmares as well.

He had been beyond thrilled when she had shown him her new tattoo which she had got pretty quickly after being fully off the blood thinners for a while – a little black and white Nemo and Dory, a reminder to just keep swimming; she hadn't been able to resist and, well… she liked tattoos.

It helped her heal some of her trauma actually, which was maybe weird to some people, but it was how Buck had coped with several things over the years. Most of her tattoos wouldn't mean much to a casual observer, but to Buck? Well, she knew which ones meant something specific – and which ones she got just because she felt like it.

She couldn't believe it had been so long since she had got a new tattoo – yet another thing she had internalised as the 118 judging her for after some snide comments from certain people over her time there, ugh. How had she ever let them get so far into her head…

Well, she liked to think they were well and truly purged from her system now.

What was she thinking about?

Oh yeah – Eddie was an awkward squirrel, greeting her after Chris had all but thrown himself at her in a hug and already high as a kite. He was sure to sleep tonight, she thought fondly as she watched him play with his extended family, laughing together and getting under everyone's feet. 

“H-hey,” Eddie offered her an awkward, almost shy smile, shuffling his feet as his son was pulled away by his cousins. “Um, good – good to see you,”

She arched an eyebrow, a hint of amusement bleeding into her own slight smile. “Hi.” She glanced at his empty hands, and smirked. “What, no food contribution? Shame on you!”

He smirked back, a hint of her old Eddie coming through this weird pod person that their friendship had become. “Wouldn't want to poison everyone and ruin the party, right? Nah,” He gestured over to a cooler that was a new addition to the food area, explaining, “Abuela ordered me onto drinks duty. Apparently I can't be trusted with food…” He gave a fond eyeroll, and her grin widened.

“Smart lady, that Abuela,”

He smiled slightly, looking almost like a hopeful puppy, “Yeah. U-um, so, h-how have you been?”

Even Buck winced at how awkward he sounded, and she saw him do the same.  

And look, he had been a shitty friend – she knew it, and she was pretty sure he knew it too.

And truthfully, she had forgiven him once she had got over her own anger at him and his high handed assumptions. Once he had stopped trying to load all his emotional baggage onto her so he could skip off into the sunset, had stopped expecting her to do things for him then getting mad at her for not doing it because she hadn't damn well known… – well. The point was, she knew he was struggling, and she knew a lot of his behaviour came from that.

Didn't mean she was going to just forget, or let him just sweep everything under the rug and continue where they had left off.

No, if he wanted her friendship back – which she was pretty sure he did, she knew him well enough to be almost sure of that despite their limited interactions the past few months – then he was going to have to actually acknowledge that he had been a dick and apologise. 

But hey, she would survive if he never did. They had been good friends before, could have been great friends – and maybe they could be again.

With some firm boundaries and a discussion of what had gone wrong.

Which, let's be honest, she didn't really see happening – Eddie really wasn't much for ‘touchy feely shit’ as he had called it before, and as she had no doubts he would term this as.

Ah well.

For now, she was just grateful he didn't seem to be as close to rock bottom as he had seemed to be spiraling towards before – and sometimes she felt as if she should have done more to help him, but he hadn't wanted to be helped. She had tried to be there for him, had reached out multiple times – but he had shut her down repeatedly, and she had had her own problems after all. Hello, crushed leg anybody… It wasn't as if she could just go over to his place and drag him to the therapy he obviously needed! Plus, the way he had reacted whenever she had casually brought up therapy even before everything went to shit… Yeah, no thanks. 

They had both made mistakes, of course they had, but Eddie had been an unbelievable dick – and she was not about to enable that.

“I’m fantastic.” She replied blandly. “Honestly, leaving the 118 was one of the best things I ever did.”

Eddie winced, but he did not immediately argue or jump down her throat blaming her for how everything had gone downhill when she had effectively nuked the station.

Progress!

“I'm, uh, I'm glad you're… doing good?”

“Thanks,” She replied evenly – and good God this was awkward! It was actually physically painful almost. “I am. Are you back yet?”

“Oh – eh, no. No, I'm not. I uh,” He was blushing furiously, which was kind of amusing actually – he usually tried to come off as so calm and collected! Course, she had seen through that false image long ago, but he still liked to pretend… It was kind of adorable, actually, that he genuinely thought anyone fell for it. “I'm still working an admin job,”

At her raised eyebrow – she had vaguely heard rumours, but he had never mentioned it and she had never pried – he hurried to explain. “I, uh, Callahan sent me to therapy when the investigation first started – said I needed it after everything that happened in the last year, and before,”

“Good.” She said bluntly, and he offered her a little, self depreciating half smile.

“Yeah, uh, guess he… wasn't wrong. Anyway I… I decided to keep going? I don't… I don't feel like going back to active duty yet – the hours I work now are great for spending more time with Chris, y’know? Sure the pay difference took a bit to shuffle things around, but its… it's going good, I think? And, um…” He hesitated, then took a deep breath and seemed to steel himself to say what he was going to say next: “I don't… I don't feel… comfortable, I guess? Going back just yet. Uh… i-its weird – without you?” It sounded more like a question than a statement, and Buck was decidedly unimpressed by the sentiment anyway.

“You managed just fine before,” She responded dryly, and he winced.

“Yeah, uh – that's fair. But, um, it was really weird when you were first off. And I guess I just… got used to it?”

“Amazing what you can get used to,” She couldn't help but comment, getting another wince in return.

“Um – yeah. Anyway, I… I guess I didn't realise how bad it had gotten? Like, the way you were treated…”

“Which you participated in.”

“I deserve that. And then after what happened with Lena… Look, can we – can we talk? Later? I, um… I'd like to… I'd like to apologize. Properly, I mean. Ex-explain myself? I… Buck, I miss my best friend.”

Buck studied him for a long moment, eventually determining he was serious. “Alright.” She eventually conceded. “We can set something up. But not now – I'd rather just enjoy today, alright? We can set up a time to meet. Though I warn you now, if you try to pull any of your bullshit blaming or taking your anger out on me again, then I am gone. Got it?”

“Got it.” He nodded quickly. “I, uh – I shouldn't have done that.”

She eyed him shrewdly. “Please tell me you're working on those spectacular anger issues?”

He offered a wry smile. “I am, don't worry. Therapy… actually, it's surprisingly helped?”

“Yes, it does do that if you put the work in,” She replied wryly, and he looked at her curiously.

“Have you been to therapy?”

She looked at him in disbelief. “Eddie, I've been going to therapy this whole time.”

“Oh… Uh, Bobby said you weren't cleared to work by a psych eval yet,”

“In case it's escaped your notice, Bobby is a lying liar who lies.” She snapped. “Incidentally, any ‘Bobby said’s or ‘Maddie said’s are also a hard no and I will walk out. I am sick of those two and what they did to me with their smear campaign, and if I never hear either of their names again I will die happy.”

He winced. “Yeah, that's fair – sorry, wasn't thinking. Uh… you do know Bobby will probably be here today though, right? I think he's coming with Athena? I'm not really… in much contact with him anymore. Chris and Harry are still friends though…”

“I know – it's pretty much the only reason I have any contact with Athena as well. May and Harry want to hang out sometimes. But yeah, I know he'll be here – doesn't mean I have to speak to the bastard though,”

“Yeah…”

Buck's gaze strayed over his shoulder, and a grin spread over her face as she lit up. “Hey, uh, we can absolutely meet up later and talk. But if you'll excuse me…” Without waiting for a reply, she hurried off in the direction of the new arrivals.

Eddie turned, curious, and watched as she greeted two tall young men and a shorter woman. One of them grabbed her in a huge hug that lifted her off the ground and twirled her around, and he could hear their laughter from here.

Huh. Eddie didn't recognize any of them – ah well. He was sure he'd have an opportunity to find out who they were later on.

Turning his attention to his Abuela who was bearing down on him, he gave himself over to her directions, resigning himself to following her orders for the next however long while she finished setting up her get together.

Chimney was the first of her old crew that Buck saw after Eddie – well, she heard him before she saw him, but that was nothing new.

Glancing over at the sound of his loud… Christ, was he already boasting? About what? And who here would even be stupid enough to believe any of it anyway? (She had no doubts that even the extended Diazes would have heard of him, even without Eddie telling work stories – Abuela had Opinions.)

Ah. There was a young blonde in a sun dress, heels, and a face full of makeup hanging on his arm as he strutted up – lol, nothing about that outfit was exactly practical for a picnic in the park. Ah well, she'd realise soon enough.

Turning back to her far preferable new arrivals, she rolled her eyes at them.

Hangman had a decidedly predatory gleam in his eyes as he locked onto the older man. “That Han?”

“Yep,”

Phoenix studied his companion while Rooster wound an arm around Buck's waist and she leaned into him. “I thought he was dating your sister?”

Buck just shrugged. “Well, she is in prison. I have no idea what happened between them – it's not like either of them were or are speaking to me,”

Rooster snorted beside her. “Good riddance,” He remarked, leaning in to press a kiss to her hair as she bent her head down to rest on his shoulder. She looked round at him, and was greeted with a familiar warm smile that still, after all these years, sent a flutter through her heart. “Hey wife,”

Her grin widened, seeing his own reflected back at her and the glee he always got saying that. “Hey husband,” She laughed, giddy as ever herself at finally being able to call him that. And why HAD they put off actually getting married for so long anyway?! 

Hangman, the bastard, groaned loudly and theatrically. “Oh God, they're gonna be more sickening than ever, ey…”

Phoenix just laughed at them. “Shut up Bagman – you're just pissed you weren't invited,”

He was immediately spluttering, as Phoenix would have known he would be. “Hey, you weren't invited either!”

She shrugged, deliberately blasé. “Yeah, but I'm not a baby about it,”

Buck knew better – while they were thrilled for the pair of them, she was pretty sure there were a lot of disappointed feelings around. After all, as both she and Rooster had been reminded frequently over the years, many people were ‘invested in this shit’ – i.e. their relationship. 

“No, but seriously though,” Hangman turned back to Buck and Rooster, wagging a scolding finger at them. “You have annoyed a lot of people by eloping like that, you pricks!”

Buck grinned, utterly unrepentant. She hadn't been expecting to get married either, so why should she have expected them to be there at such short notice?!

No, Bradley had come home from his deployment (pouting because he wasn't able to surprise her exactly how he had wanted to, given that he had come home to a key that no longer worked in the lock because the idiot had forgotten to factor their changed locks into his plans. Buck had answered the knocking at the door to find her pouting fiancee looking like a kicked puppy and holding up his now useless key dejectedly. “I was going to sneak up on you,” He whined mournfully, pouting harder when she just laughed at him, but it quickly turned to a grin as she threw herself at him and dragged him inside. God, he was such a dork.) and one night over takeout just casually asked if she wanted to get married the next day.

Apparently, he had secretly made an appointment at City Hall to get the paperwork, and enlisted Ice to officiate – which had always been something they had wanted to do if possible. (Ice had claimed that he didn't care if the president himself ordered him away, he was damn well going to officiate their wedding – wherever and whenever it ended up being – come hell or high water.) Buck hadn't been able to reply to his offhand second proposal for a long moment, struck speechless in surprise – which was a rare feat, she could admit, and the smug grin on the idiots' face reminded her that he very well knew it too.

Anyway, everyone had been thrilled when they had shared the news, and they ended up with hundreds of comments on the photos they had shared on their (private) Instagrams. There was no small amount of outrage at missing out celebrating them – which really, they should have expected.

A lot of people had been looking forwards to it, and Buck knew there had been manys a plan made over the years – jokingly and not.

(Apparently if Ice couldn't officiate, Rooster was planning to call up Tommy. It was pretty great, having a friend who was willing to chopper them to Vegas in his downtime.)(In the end, they had done that too – when Tommy had heard the news, he had offered them a lift and they had spent a long weekend there as… well, a sort of pre-honeymoon – they had plans for their actual honeymoon, and it would not be in Vegas! They had had a great time, though, and had surprisingly done pretty well at their gambling, which was a very welcome added bonus!)

“Bradley!” Buck was saved from answering Hangman immediately by Abuela approaching with a beam, and pulling a startled Bradley into a warm embrace. He was bright red when she released him, amusingly, and immediately attached himself to Buck again, apparently seeking shelter from the big scary little old lady. “Wonderful to see you again dear. And these must be your aviator friends?” (Abuela had quickly learned never to call an aviator a pilot!) She smiled just as warmly at the other two, then raised an eyebrow at Hangman's still absently wagging finger. “Are you alright, dear?”

“He's annoyed they weren't at our wedding,” Buck piped up.

“I'm annoyed I wasn't at your wedding, sobrina.”

Buck blushed to the roots of her hair as Phoenix and Hangman turned matching smirks in her direction. “No one was at our wedding!” She yelped. “It was a quiet, last minute thing!”

“Exactly.” Hangman said, sounding weirdly satisfied and cocky. Then again, cocky was his default state so that wasn't exactly a good indicator… “Which will be being rectified.”

“What Bagman means to say,” Phoenix glowered at him, ignoring his “Hangman!”, “Is to ask you if you guys would be willing to have another ceremony or at least a party? A bunch of us have been talking, and we're all willing to plan it if you like?”

Buck felt a warm burst of love for their friends and chosen family well up inside of her. “You guys are serious about this?”

“Of course!” Phoenix exclaimed with a grin, “Buck, we love you – we love you both. And we would love to celebrate you and your love. Plus, come on – some of us have been there from day one of you guys hopelessly pining after each other!”

“Hey!” Rooster yelped. “There was no hopeless pining!”

“Oh, please,” Phoenix scorned, “You were pathetic! Honestly, it was painful to witness, and I deserve a chance to get absolutely smashed with my favourite people in the world for putting up with you all these years!”

“I think a party sounds like a wonderful idea," Abuela declared, linking her arm with Phoenix's and beginning to lead her away. “Now, let's talk details…” Hangman trailed after the pair of them as Rooster and Buck exchanged looks.

“...should we be worried? I feel like we should be worried…”

“Eddie! My man!”

Eddie groaned a little internally at the loud hail, but turned to smile at Chimney anyway. “Chimney – hey. Didn't, uh, didn't expect to see you here?” He smiled politely at the woman clinging to Chimney's arm, having no idea who on earth she was but not wanting to seem too rude.

“Oh, Hen invited me,” Chimney waved that off dismissively, “Been a while since we've had a firefam get together, eh?!” 

“Uh, this was Abuela…?”

“Yeah, real nice of her to cook for us all!” Chimney eyed the food laid out appreciatively, and wow – had he always been this entitled? Huh… 

“Yeah, her cooking's great… Uh, listen Chim, you… may want to stay clear of Abuela, yeah? She's not exactly your biggest fan, and she will absolutely lay into you with no qualms about being in public.”

His companions eyes – already looking weirdly large with her makeup and seriously, why did anyone ever think that was a good look? – widened at this. “But why wouldn't she like Howie?! Why doesn't she like you, Howie?” She pouted up at him, clinging to his arm.

Dios mio…

“Oh, I'm sure he's exaggerating, kitten!” Chimney chuckled, grinning down at her and patting her hand. Did he mean to make that look so condescending? “Nothing to worry about my dear – don't worry, everyone here loves me!”

Eddie was unable to stop the snort that came out at that, and quickly turned it into a cough. He didn't think it really fooled anyone.

“Who's your friend, Chim?” He quickly asked before he was called out on it. 

“Eddie, this is Cindy, my girlfriend – Cindy this is Eddie. We used to work together.” Chimney's chest puffed out, and wow, where had he even found this woman? She was young enough to be… well, OK, probably not his daughter. But if she was out of her early twenties, Eddie would eat his… well, he wasn't wearing a hat. His… phone? Maybe? His shoe? His socks?

Right, not important right now…

“Uh, nice to meet you,” Eddie awkwardly shook her hand, as Cindy beamed at him then glommed onto Chimney again.

“Isn't Howie just the best?!” She gushed, and oh, that was what people meant when they said someone was preening! Seriously, where had Chimney found this woman?! “He told me all about what happened at his old station – I can't believe people still have such attitudes! These are supposed to be more progressive times,” She pouted and Eddie… actually legitimately had no idea what she was talking about.

“Huh?” He managed, quite intelligently for the circumstances he thought. “Sorry, what are you on about?”

“You know! The,” She looked around furtively, then leaned in and dropped her voice dramatically as if imparting some great secret or scandal: “Racism.” She stood back up, and nodded importantly at him with those stupidly wide eyes again.

Eddie's brain momentarily malfunctioned.

Had she just…

“Sorry, hold up. He told you he was fired because of racism?!” 

“ALright, I don't think we need to get into this again!” Chimney swiftly interjected himself. “Not a pleasant topic, but sadly something many of us have to live with. I'm trying to just forget about it all, move on – that's all any of us can do.”

“Well, I still think you should sue.” She said crossly. “You could get a lot of money for wrongful termination, Howie.”

“Wrongful termination – right,” Eddie snorted. “Did he tell you the part where he repeatedly broke the moral clauses in his contract, broke HIPAA, and almost went to jail as an accessory to terrorism after the fact? Huh, guess he missed that part,”

Eddie wandered away, leaving them to their outrage. It didn't sound much like Cindy believed him, sounding more outraged at Eddie on ‘Howie’s behalf, but whatever. He probably shouldn't feel as pettily pleased with himself as he did, but he had had to do a lot of thinking in therapy, and he had come to the conclusion that he didn't actually particularly like Howard Han.  

Oh shit, there were Bobby and Athena… 

Could he avoid them? Oh – nope, they'd spotted him. And were headed over here… Great.

Glancing around to see if there was a convenient tree he could hide behind – there was not, and the kid who looked about three years old who was nearby apparently escaping from who he assumed was her father wasn't exactly tall or broad enough for him to hide behind… shoot – Eddie hoped his smile didn't look as much like a pained grimace as it felt as he turned towards their hails.

Man, he felt like he was going to the gallows…

Athena he had seen relatively frequently – for Chris's sake, and he didn't tend to linger too long with her at handovers, nor did he go into anything personal. If anything, he went out of his way to avoid discussing anything vaguely personal related with her.

Bobby, on the other hand, he had not seen since the man had been sent to jail.

And hadn't his trial been enlightening…

Turns out, Bobby Nash had lied about a great many things – and for others, even if someone (Maddie) had been the one to supply him with false information, he had still not fact checked and had used that false information to make highly questionable and apparently downright illegal decisions of his own.

Apparently, his not letting Buck return to active duty had indeed been illegal.

Eddie hadn't known that. He had thought, even through the trial (it hadn't lasted long, really) that Buck had been making a mountain out of a molehill; uselessly trying to get others in trouble because they weren't bowing down to her whims. He had bought into the party line unquestioningly… To this day, he wasn't entirely sure why – it was the easier path for him personally? That was probably it, if he was honest. 

Turns out, a lot of how Bobby treated Buck even before the bombing was unprofessional and downright wrong.

It had been pointed out, by the opposition's lawyer, that Bobby had a habit of letting others skate on by, but penalized Buck for even minor things – things that the others got a pass on. Some examples had been of things Eddie himself had gotten away with or even praised for, whereas Buck got at best a public dressing-down for the same thing. 

Buck, it had been pointed out, was not afraid to question Bobby. The others rarely did.

Eddie really hoped that wasn't a true reason why Bobby tended to single her out…

Because he did, when Eddie looked back on it. He had always treated Buck differently.

He had tried to claim he saw her as a daughter, but he had been shut down pretty hard over that.

Not only did Buck not reciprocate, but he was not her father, and he had no right trying to treat her like one.

Not to mention, who would want a father who treated them like Bobby did Buck?

Apparently, on staff evaluations, Bobby generally asked his firefighters to give him feedback on himself – Eddie, having not been at the station for me of those yet, had not known that, and no one had warned him yet. Understandably, he supposed.

Anyway, it came out that, in Buck's evaluations with him, she had brought this up. How she did not appreciate him trying to get close to her, and could he please keep their relationship professional. How she did not appreciate he double standards, or the apparent lack of his bothering to read her file or certifications. She also had documentation of this, which was produced as evidence, as well as evidence on how he had been particularly hard on her for a couple of weeks after.

Yikes… 

It had been around that point that Eddie – and the others, not that it had stuck with them nearly as much as it did Eddie, he thought – had found out that Admiral Fucking Iceman (whom Eddie only vaguely knew about through reputation, despite their serving in different branches of the military. Everyone knew of the goddamn Iceman…) was pretty much the closest thing she had to a father figure. Apparently, she was engaged to his kid, and they had known each other far longer than that relationship had been going on…

Eddie was ashamed to admit that he had actually forgotten she was engaged. She had mentioned it early on, when he had thought back on it, but he had… well, he had bought into the narrative that Hen, Chimney and Bobby in particular had told of her, and then when Maddie had started being around more… Well.

Alright, so that was on him – Buck had told him the truth, and looking back over their time knowing each other, she hadn't been hiding it either.

Apparently, Eddie – and the others – was just an idiot who refused to see what was right in front of his own nose, because that was easier for him.

Crowd mentality indeed…

“Eddie, good to see you,” Athena smiled warmly at him, and Eddie absently wondered – as he had often found himself doing since the 118 A-shift had imploded quite spectacularly – if that was the same smile she had given Buck while knowing full well that her husband was actively working to destroy her life.

So what other secrets and lies was she hiding, and was she helping plot anything against Eddie?

He knew that was probably ridiculous and illogical, but then again, paranoia rarely listened to reason.

“Athena. Hey,” He would remain polite for Chris's sake, no matter how much he kind of wanted to cut these two out. He hesitated a moment, and then added a terse, “Bobby.” He really didn't know how to interact with the man…

Bobby, apparently, had no such qualms, smiling widely and kindly, radiating that paternal air that he had increasingly seemed to be trying to cultivate on shift.

Was it all an act? Was he genuinely happy to see Eddie, or was he that good of a liar?

Worst part was, Eddie now knew he was an excellent liar.

It was dumb, because he knew Bobby was an addict in recovery, and he knew that he had hidden that fact – had hidden his addiction – for a long time. Years, apparently, all the way back in St Paul.

And yet, Eddie had always thought him an honest man – he had never really considered him as even much capable of lying.

Showed what an idiot Eddie was… Or perhaps how well Bobby had had them fooled.

His therapist would probably say that a little paranoia, wariness, was good – but that he needed to keep a check in it.

If he second guessed and analysed every interaction he ever had with anyone and everyone, then he would be doing himself more harm than good.

Eddie didn't see what the big deal was – it wasn't like he second guessed the intentions of EVERYONE to a huge degree.

Just people he had already been burned by in the past.

Mind you, his therapist's points over his paranoia probably wasn't helped by Eddie's lack of trust in him to begin with – and not least because he was pretty sure it was him who had reported the illegal street fights Eddie had mentioned in passing. (Not mentioning that they were illegal, of course, just that a friend had taken him somewhere where he could work out his anger in a productive way when the guy had asked him about any hobbies etc. Now, Eddie was glad he hadn't actually had a chance to participate – Lena, he had learned, had lost her job. He didn't really know about anything else beyond that for her though… Had she been arrested too? There had been vague whispers, but he hadn't wanted to bother listening to anything at the time, too pissed off, and now it was… well, it was kind of awkward asking…)

“It's great to see you, Eddie,” Bobby smiled warmly, looking as if he was going to go in for a hug but thankfully thinking better of it – Eddie wasn't sure what ‘vibes' as his kid had started saying he was giving off, but ‘huggable' they were not. 

Thankfully, that wasn't exactly out of the realm of ordinary for him, as even Bobby would well know.

“Uh, right…” Polite convention would have him returning the sentiment, even just a brief ‘yeah, you too’, but, well… It wasn't good to see him. “Um, when did you get out?” Eddie winced as soon as the words left his mouth, wishing he could take them back. 

Why had he just asked that?! Oh man, he was such a disaster…

Athena evidently agreed, going by the way her lips pursed.

Bobby, for his part, barely reacted. His smile only wavered momentarily, becoming a little strained before being fixed back on. “Oh, only a few days ago. It's good to be home…”

“Uh huh…” Eddie struggled for something, anything to say. “Um, I guess you're glad to have him home, Athena?”

She smiled. “Of course. And the kids are delighted too,”

Eddie highly doubted that somehow – he had it on good authority that neither May nor Harry were particular fans of Bobby's recently. Harry's hero worship was certainly long gone… And they didn't even know the full story, as far as he knew.

Hell, Eddie didn't know the full story, really!

“Uh, right… Uh, how, uh, how'd you guys know about this? I mean, no offense, I just know my Abuela… she's not exactly your biggest fan,” He pointed out – and it was true: she wasn't. He wasn't entirely sure when it had happened, but Abuela – and Tìa Pepa and the other cousins and Diazes, if he stopped to think about it – adored Buck. She had been utterly disgusted to find out what had been going on.

She had been disgusted with Eddie too, and had laid into him after she had found out about everything a while after coming back from her trip.

Eddie never did find out who had told her everything, but he wasn't about to ask – and he also wasn't about to go about accusing Buck.

That wasn't a mistake he would be making again in a hurry…

Athena just arched an imperious eyebrow at him, and he always felt like she was silently judging him.

It wasn't a feeling he liked.

“Harry was invited, it's not like I was about to let my nine year old come alone.” She replied dryly – she didn't comment on Abuela's feelings towards them. Surely even Bobby and Athena – hard headed and stubborn as they both notoriously were – couldn't exactly argue against that…

“Sure, but May was invited too,” Eddie pointed out – and why was he continuing to poke at this?! He didn't seem able to make himself stop. Honestly, he didn't even particularly care about the answer… “She could have taken him.” She could have, having gotten her license while Bobby was in jail and getting an old car to get herself (and often her little brother) around in. “And I'm pretty sure Abuela invited Michael, so he could have taken him too,”

Athena just shrugged, looking unconcerned. “Well, perhaps we wanted to come. It's been too long since we were all together like this – I know this is your grandmother's get together, and she has done a marvelous job, but it's not often the firefam is together in one place. It's nice to have a sort of welcome home celebration for Bobby as part of this,”

“Dios, do not say that near Abuela!” Eddie blurted, eye widening involuntarily at even the thought.

“Don't say what near Abuela?” An amused voice came, and he glanced over to see his cousin Ricky moving past.

“That this is a welcome home from jail for Bobby,”

Ricky's eyes swept disdainfully up and down Bobby as he paused beside them. “Nash?”

“Yeah,”

Ricky smirked. “Yeah, I'd steer well clear of Abuela,” He advised. “She hates your guts, and would welcome any chance to tell you in exacting detail why,”

Bobby sighed, actually letting some annoyance slip through the cracks in his mask for the first time. “I don't think I've ever even met your abuela!”

“Nah, but she knows all about you,” Ricky sounded downright gleeful at the prospect of Bobby and Abuela crossing paths.

Eddie wasn't going to lie, he kind of was too…

Athena scowled at them both impatiently, “Why would your abuela even know about Bobby?! She has no reason to dislike him anyway, he helped Eddie out with childcare back when your grandmother was injured! He was an excellent captain to him!”

“Sure, so excellent he got himself fired for his misconduct,” Came the dry reply. “Anyway, Abuela adores Buck – didn't you know? She hates you for what you did to her. Gotta say man, lotta people here do.” The look he fixed Bobby with let them all know in no uncertain terms that Ricky himself was one of those people.

Bobby sighed, sounding both annoyed and exhausted. “Buck again! It's ridiculous the lies she's been spreading about me!”

“Hardly lies,” Ricky pointed out. “Was proved in court – or didn't you just get out of prison? Some great captain… And anyway, Buck didn't tell her anything – Mrs Kazansky did. They're friends now. Which isn't terrifying at all…”

Eddie looked at his cousin in surprise. “Wait, have you met her?!”

“Yeah?” Ricky looked at him quizzically, “What, haven't you?”

“No…”

Ricky just shrugged. “She seems pretty nice, but terrifying too – you know?”

Eddie could very well guess – and not least because of who her husband was. 

“Hey, maybe you'll meet them today,” Ricky added, and Eddie looked at him in shock.

“They're coming here?! Today?!”

“Think so, yeah. I was talking to Buck earlier, and she mentioned they're on their way.”

Oh bloody hell…

Oh, this wasn't terrifying at all.

Eddie just hoped the Iceman would be off duty… Did a guy like that ever GO off duty, or was the ‘ice' always on…?!

Shit, he hoped the guy didn't know about how shittily Eddie had treated his future daughter in law…

Oh who was he kidding, of course he would know!

Bobby had had a hellish few months. He had hoped that, now, things would start to go back to normal – or, well: a new normal.

Unfortunately, it didn't look like he would be getting his job as a fire captain back any time soon… And he didn't see Athena agreeing to move, either, so that they could go somewhere no one knew them and start over.

Then again, references weren't exactly all that easy to fake convincingly these days, so he had heard… And since he and his team had been on the news before… Even if he did manage to get a job as a firefighter, they would probably still find out he was with the LAFD if he left that off his resume – and no way they would keep quiet.

They had been less than impressed with Bobby, it had to be said, and had happily thrown him to the wolves…

Bobby still couldn't believe the betrayal some days. 

Still – he had had a lot of time to think while in prison.

And, yes, perhaps there had been other ways to go about keeping Buck safe – he would have to speak with her today, ensure she forgave him. Not, of course, that she even had anything to forgive! If anything, she should be the one begging for his forgiveness! She had ruined his life, after all!

But Bobby wouldn't hold that against her. He could forgive – after some suitable grovelling, of course.

If she really felt so strongly about his not telling her about not clearing her to work – when she so very obviously wasn't ready! Bobby knew all about returning to work too soon, but OH NO, Evan Buckley always had to know better! – then she should have spoken to him like the adult she claimed to be, and not the child she repeatedly acted like.

There was no need whatsoever to report him!

And as for how the LAFD had handled it… Talk about an over reaction!

Bobby also couldn't believe that Maddie had lied to him, had used him so blatantly – talk about disrespect!

He wasn't about to forgive her anytime soon – and to think he had thought her so much better at handling things, so much more mature than Buck! 

If it wasn't for her and her lies, Bobby wouldn't have ended up in jail!

No one had listened to him when he had told them that, though… Hell, even his lawyer had told him to shut up!

So Bobby was beyond grateful to be out, and back to his life and his home and his family.

Sure, things were a bit awkward – he supposed it had been a while since he had lived under the same roof as the kids, so a small adjustment period was to be expected while they got used to an additional person living with them again…

At least Athena was thrilled to see him.

He had been ecstatic when she had told him about this get together – and he quickly agreed when she had suggested coming. After all, it wasn't as if anyone would mind – and they were having it in a public park, so it wasn't as if they could ban anyone!

Not that he thought anyone would.

Athena had mentioned that Hen and Karen would be bringing Denny, and that obviously Eddie would be there with Christopher – after all, it was his grandmother and aunt who were overall organizing this. He wasn't entirely sure what the occasion was – wasn't entirely sure there was any specific occasion, just an excuse to get together. But Hen had invited Chimney, and Athena had mentioned that there was a good chance Buck would be there too – apparently, she was close with Eddie's grandmother.

Who would have thought?

It would be good to have the old crew back together – he hadn't had a chance to catch up with any of them just yet, having only been out for a few days now.

Whoever this rude man was who had butted into his conversation with Eddie – who was glad to see him, as he had known he would be – clearly didn't like him.

Bobby didn't like the sound of this Mrs Kazansky, who had apparently been spreading lies about him to Eddie's grandmother – who Bobby figured he should probably avoid for the sake of not causing a scene so publicly. Then again, he was sure if he just explained then he would be able to make her see reason… After all, she had no reason to be angry at him, he hadn't done anything wrong really – he had tried to help Buck, and the idiot girl had completely overreacted! 

“Who is this Kazansky?” He demanded, feeling irritated but working not to let it show. “Why on earth would she spread lies about me?!”

The mystery man (seriously, who was he? He would assume a Diaz, going by context and his colouring, but he hadn't thought Eddie had any extended family behind his grandmother and aunt in L.A., and he knew that that was something he would have known – Eddie would have told him, after all.) snorted, “Yeah, sure she is. Can't say you weren't warned, Nash: no one who isn't one of your former lackeys is going to be happy to see you today. Do yourself a favour and try not to shove your foot too far into your mouth, yeah? And Mrs Kazansky's Buck's mother in law.”

“Buck isn't married.” He said firmly, absolutely certain of that fact.

He didn't know where the girl was these days – Athena had been looking for him, but hadn't been able to find anything yet, unfortunately. And seriously, what the hell was the girl up to?! After all that mess and destruction she had caused, had she just up and left the LAFD?!

She was so selfish…

Eddie blinked at him, then looked round at mystery man, “Wait, did they actually get married?! When?!”

Mystery man shrugged. “Oh yeah – didn't you hear? They did it real quiet like, just… decided to one day, y'know? Got the Admiral to officiate – Abuela was pissed when she heard. I heard her plotting with a couple of Bucks friends earlier about throwing them an actual wedding party, maybe a vow renewal or something, so that folk could celebrate with them – they should be around here somewhere,” He looked around, as if he could pluck them out of thin air.

“Wha – But –! Buck was single!” Bobby spluttered. “How immature is she to get married to the first guy who came along?!”

Eddie, of all people, looked at him oddly at that. “Bobby, they were engaged long before she ever came to L.A.? Didn't you know? It's in her paperwork…?”

“What? No!”

Even as he denied it – and a large part of him didn't believe it, because Buck would absolutely have told him something as big as that, and she was, frankly, the biggest slut he had ever met when she had joined his station, flirting like she breathed and disrespecting herself disgracefully – a small part of him was calculating, tucking away the information.

Because if Buck had got married… Well, it might explain why there was no mention of Firefighter Buckley anymore where they could find it.

He would have to tell Athena later to focus on searching for an Evan/Firefighter Kazansky… 

Eddie, who had eventually managed to extricate himself from Bobby and Athena and their collective disbelief that Buck could have kept something so major as a life partner and/or marriage from them and not feeling at all guilty about leaving them to Ricky's disdain (he was well aware his cousin was enjoying himself immensely, and, really, he was just the warm up for whenever Tìa Pepa and/or Abuela – AND, let's be honest here… – got their hands on them), found himself following Chris as he passed by and wandering back up to Buck.

He hesitated slightly even as Chris happily crutched right on up to Buck and the woman she was speaking to without pause, but eventually decided that, if they were going to work on being friends again, then he should probably try not to be weird – and avoiding Buck was very weird. 

It had been awful, without her, and he wasn't even entirely sure just WHY he had been so furious with her in the first place anymore.

Buck, to his surprise, had a baby on her hip, whom she seemed to be introducing to Chris – who seemed enthralled, amusingly. 

Eddie assumed the baby belonged to the woman standing with Buck, who looked older than both of them if he had to guess but who he was pretty sure he had never met before. Hell, he didn't even think Buck had ever mentioned any friends of hers who were pregnant/had had babies – then again, he was fairly certain that baby was definitely not a year old. And, well… Buck and Eddie's relationship had already been somewhat strained before everything had gone down seven months ago, when he looked back.

Chris looked round as Eddie approached, eyes gleaming. “D-Dad! Look! Have you met Baby Emmy?!”

Eddie chuckled, coming to a stop by his son and laying a hand on his shoulder even as he directed a warm smile down at him. “I haven't, buddy,” He then looked at who he had assumed was the mother. “Hi – Eddie Diaz. This is my son Chris,”

She did not shake his hand – nor did she look particularly pleased that he was speaking to her. “Gina Deluca. Yeah, I know who you are.”

Eddie swallowed, suddenly very nervous. This woman had a horrible way of seeming like she was staring right into his soul – and evidently finding him wanting. He did not like it. “Uh, um…y-you do?”

“Of course.” Her voice was cool, and Eddie definitely knew that Buck had known this woman for a while. All the way back to when she was dropping a tactical nuke on the 118? He wasn't sure… She certainly didn't have a good opinion of Eddie… What had Buck been telling her about him?!

“Gina's husband used to work at the 118. Bobby fired him because he saved a kid – sure, Sal wasn't happy about Bobby being brought in, and he wasn't quiet about it. But captains can't fire anyone – the first, but not the last time he almost cost the LAFD a lawsuit.”

Eddie swallowed thickly. “I, uh… I didn't know that.”

“Mm. Luckily, Sal knew Nash couldn't legally do that.” Gina said coolly. “He went to the Union – luckily, they didn't dismiss him.”

“Probably because he threatened them with you when they went to,” Buck laughed, cooing at and tickling the baby who let out a peal of laughter.

Smiling automatically at the sound of her baby's laughter, Gina arched an eyebrow at Eddie's confused look. “I’m a lawyer.” She explained, smirking slightly at Eddie's widening eyes. 

“Oh…” Eddie's eyes flicked between Buck and Gina, doing some quick mental maths. Had they… 

Buck saw the look, and obviously knew what he was thinking – she laughed slightly. “She didn't represent me – thing I did consult her and Sal,”

Gina chuckled slightly too. “Yeah, I had just pushed an eight pound boulder out of my cunt,” She said bluntly, and Eddie winced, glancing quickly at Chris. Luckily, he seemed too fascinated with interacting with the baby to be paying much attention. “I wasn't working. I did, however, suggest a colleague who took on her case,”

“Yeah, and Sal and Tommy both reached out to the Union reps of their stations, who took one look at my documentation and the evidence of what Nash was doing, and went nuclear. And, well,” She shrugged, smirking slightly. “As you know, the brass took us seriously. I got my job back, and Nash finally had to reap the consequences of his actions – about damn time,”

Eddie nodded slowly, not really sure how to respond to any of that. Sure, he had hated how everything was changing at the time – it had seemed like the past year had been nothing but change, and bad things happening, and he could barely keep his head above water – he just wanted it all to STOP! 

Unfortunately, he had turned that into anger, as he tended to do, and he had turned that anger on the easiest target – Buck.

Unluckily (for him), Buck did not give a shit. 

Now, however, he was… glad? Honestly, he didn't even know.

But even he had recognized the toxic atmosphere of the 118 and, while he couldn't say he loved it, he found he was more… well, settled he supposed, working a desk job. 

Coming home everyday to Chris and not working insane shifts was certainly a plus – maybe he would return to active firefighting one day, maybe he wouldn't.

For now, he was enjoying spending time with his kid and finally getting the mental health help he had apparently been in desperate need of.

He still struggled even to admit that, but at least he wasn't (usually) fighting it anymore.

Therapy had, to his immense surprise, actually helped him.

His therapist has been encouraging him to actually talk to Buck recently – though, he had been very clear that Eddie should respect her boundaries. While it may help Eddie's own healing, if it was going to be detrimental to Buck's or if she refused in any way, then he was not to push it.

Thankfully, it appeared that Buck was at least open to having a conversation. They would have to set that up later..

For now, he watched in confusion as she suddenly pointed a finger over his shoulder, and sternly declared: “No.”

Turning, Eddie watched a tall young man raising his hands in mocking surrender, grin curling at his lips under a moustache. “I didn't say anything!”

“I saw your face! We are not having a baby!”

Eddie blinked, then looked more closely at the man he didn't recognize.

Was this her husband?!

More laughter interrupted them, and Eddie saw two more men approaching. “Aww, man, you know Baby Buck would be adorable!”

“Yeah – not want to give Emmy a friend?” The second guy smirked, coming to a stop and winding an arm around Gina's waist, kissing her cheek briefly before smiling at who Eddie assumed was his baby.

Buck just rolled her eyes. “This uterus is closed for business, boys. Do not test me.”

“Yeah guys, back off,” The presumable fiancee chortled. “Neither one of us wants kids right now,”

Gina smiled, elbowing her husband in the stomach as he opened his mouth with a glint in his eye. “They're kidding – they know better. Don't you?”

Both men quickly agreed, holding their hands up in surrender - clearly, they knew better than to argue with her.

Then the fiancee smiled at Chris. “Hey Chris. Enjoying the party?”

Eddie watched as his son beamed up at this man who he didn't know. “Hey Rooster! Y-yeah!”

“Wait,” Eddie frowned. “You guys know each other? Chris?”

His son just blinked up at him. “Yeah? He's Bucky's husband!”

“I did tell you he was in town so would be around Chris when he was with me,” Buck said calmly, “Or did you conveniently not hear that either?”

Eddie, sweating now, was saved from answering by a child calling, “Daddy!”

Sal – or who Eddie assumed was Sal – looked over, and Eddie recognised the kid calling across as the small child he had contemplated hiding behind earlier. “Yeah, baby?” He called back.

“Are farts supposed to have lumps in them?!”

Eddie let out an involuntary snort as the others sniggered and Sal’s eyes closed in resignation.

“No baby.”

“Oh… I shatted Daddy!”

Sal sighed heavily, “OK!” He called back, already moving off towards her as Gina patted his arm commiseratingly.

“All yours big guy.”

Chortling still, they watched him trudge over to his daughter and scoop her up, disappearing off… somewhere with his giggling cargo, presumably to get her cleaned up and changed.

“I'm so glad I'm single,” His still unnamed friend commented, and Buck grinned back at him.

“Like you're not roped into that anyway,”

He just shrugged, grinning unrepentantly. 

Gina waved this aside impatiently, swatting at the guys arm – and Jesus, what arms they were… Eddie found himself staring, before he quickly shook himself out of it.

Seriously, what was this guys work out regime?!

“Never mind that! Tommy! I saw you and Sal got caught by Han! Did you get the juice on the barbie?!”

The newly named Tommy grinned, while Chris disappeared off with a cousin who ran past. Eddie, hesitating slightly, decided to stay when none of them made any move to chivvy him away – he was curious too.

“I did indeed,” Tommy grinned. “They are indeed dating. Unsurprisingly, he seems to have fed her a bunch of lies – who's shocked?”

Buck, catching Eddies look, explained, “Tommy and Sal worked at the 118 since Han was a probie. They're well versed on his typical behaviours, both on shift and towards his romantic partners.”

“Yeah, he's never made a secret of the fact he treats them like shit; always talked about them like they're pieces of meat,” Tommy grimaced. 

“Oh…” Eddie frowned, thinking back. “He never, ah, he never did that with Maddie?”

Buck hummed, tilting her head in a contemplative so-so manner. “Not on shift, no – not really. He was definitely territorial, though, and somewhat controlling – you didn't notice? It was little comments, really, things that add up, y’know? Anyway, once he started sleeping with her he probably started acting more like she was a piece of meat – especially on shift. In case you never realized, he was an insecure piece of shit who thought acting like a pig made him seem like a man. Idiot…”

Eddie had noticed certain behaviours, but kinda recognized some of the humour from a man's man's, dick measuring world, so just… sort of ignored it. Huh.

“Never mind that,” Gina said impatiently. “Gossip, Kinard. Gimme.”

He chuckled. “Alright alright! What do you want to know?”

“First off – that bitch Maddie.”

“They decided to take a break while she's incarcerated. They'll revisit their relationship when she gets out, but he never promised to wait for her.” Came the prompt reply.

Buck snorted. “Bet she loved that. What did Barbie have to say?”

Tommy shrugged. “Didnt really say anything – just simpered all about how great Howie is. Honestly, I thought Sal was gonna hurl. I mean, Han openly called her his side piece! Right in front of her! Shaid she was ready at keeping his bed warm while he waited for Maddie!”

“Jesus Christ,” Buck muttered, rolling her eyes. “Maddie has the worst taste in men…”

The party was a roaring success in Buck's opinion, and still going strong.

She had managed to avoid being accosted by any of her former colleagues – apart from Eddie, but she didn't much mind that, he seemed different, which was good; calmer, more settled in his own skin – and she hoped she would continue to be able to do so.

Mostly, she had hung out with the extended Diazes and her aviator family, thoroughly enjoying her first event as Mr and Mrs Bradshaw – sure, they had been married for a while now, but this was the first group thing they had been to together, and they spent most of it fielding congratulations and suggestions for a vow renewal/party to celebrate.

It was nice.

Angry, passionate shouting in Spanish interrupted the laughter, and Buck looked round to see that Nash had obviously made the mistake of approaching Abuela – what an idiot.

He was currently being bawled out in Spanish, which Buck knew he didn't even speak. Athena was there with him, looking like she had sucked on a lemon and was trying to assert some sort of authority over Abuela.

Naturally, it did not work.

Catching some of what was being said, Buck winced: there would no doubt be some minor earthquakes happening imminently, given how much Nash's ancestors must be rolling over in their graves.

Turning away from the scene, Buck shrugged: not her problem.

Let him reap the consequences he was stupid enough to sow.

She knew for a fact the idiotic pair had been well warned to stay the hell away from Abuela and Pepa, for the sake of the peace of the party if nothing else.

Ah well – nothing they didn't deserve, and entertainment for the guests. And if any of his lackeys decided to try to intervene? Well, even better! 

Still not her problem.

Smiling, Buck leaned into Rooster as he wrapped himself around her again, and just soaked up the sun and the vibes as she enjoyed the good food, company, and conversation as Hangman and Rooster got into yet another stupid argument in front of her, both peacocking gesturing wildly.

Life was good.