Chapter Text
In the very beginning, Naruto found it hard to separate real life from his subconscious. Sharing both mind and body with someone else is difficult to get accustomed to, especially when that “someone else” is a huge nine-tailed fox. As Naruto aged, he became used to it. However; for some reason, right now he was losing focus on his own reality and falling back into old habits.
He was younger.
And there was snow, which didn’t make sense because it was summer. It fell down from the sky onto Naruto’s head, dusting his spiky blond hair and settling on his orange jacket. The crisp air flushed his cheeks and nose. His head remained down, staring at the boots which crunched on freshly fallen snow.
“There he is, the demon.” A voice said, chuckling through cold air.
It was a kid, sneering as he pointed straight at Naruto. One kid turned into two, and then three.
Naruto kept his eyes to the ground, his hands finding warmth inside his jacket. He tried desperately not to listen to them. He wasn’t a demon.
And yet, it didn’t matter what he thought, because everyone else thought it for him.
“Hey!” One of the kids called. They were all getting closer now. “I heard my dad say that you can’t become a ninja. He says no one in the village can trust you.”
Naruto flinched at the words, his head finally snapping up. If they were looking for a rise, then they had been victorious. Naruto’s shoulders bunched up in anxiety.
Was that really true? Would they not let him become a ninja? That was all he ever wanted.
Naruto’s fist clenched. His eyes stung, but he refused to let the tears fall.
One of the kids stepped forward and stopped directly in front of Naruto. A ridiculous cocky grin spread across his face as he looked down on him. “You realize that if you can’t become a ninja, then that means you can’t become Hokage, right?”
Naruto gritted his teeth and stared up at the other boy with a mix of anger and sadness.
“I will be Hokage. You’ll see.”
Naruto allowed some of his natural confidence to leak through, but it only made the children burst out into laughter. Two firm hands reached out and pushed Naruto, sending him crashing to the ground. The cold snow seeped into his clothes.
Their amusement, this humiliation, burned a part of Naruto’s heart that he cherished. Naruto had been desperate for attention all his life, to be seen, acknowledged. Why was it that this was the only kind of attention he ever seemed to get?
The kids crowded around him, their ugly laughter burying itself into the drums of Naruto’s ears. His heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice.
Why was this memory suddenly playing out in his head? Why was he being forced to relive something like this?
“Even if you weren’t a demon, you could never be Hokage.” One of the boys mocked. “I mean, you don’t have any parents to teach you right from wrong.”
Just as the bullies were about to kick Naruto, a cold voice rang out, cutting through the cruel fit of laughs.
“Enough.”
The group froze. They turned to see a lone figure standing just a few feet away. His black hair was freckled with white snow, his expression unreadable as he rested his vision on Naruto.
“What do you want?”
Sasuke stepped forward, his gaze unwavering.
“I told you to stop.” The young boy’s voice carried a deadly edge. His eyes finally shifted onto one of the bullies, staring intensely at him with a hint of disgust.
“Get lost, Uchiha.”
Without warning, the little raven lunged forward, moving with speed that left the bullies no time to react. His little fist collided with a jaw, sending the recipient back, their expression laced with shock. It must have been enough of a scare, because the other two kids fled, leaving the last one without another option but to follow.
Silence fell between Sasuke and Naruto as they were left alone. The blonde boy easily picked himself up and dusted the snow from his clothes and blushed face.
“I had it.” Naruto muttered. “But thanks, I guess.”
Sasuke simply stared. He wasn’t sure how to respond. He wasn’t even sure why he helped in the first place. He was going to leave. He was going to mind his own business. Why didn’t he?
Why couldn’t he?
“Wake up,” Sasuke said, catching the blonde off guard.
“What?”
The raven’s mouth opened to speak, but the voice that rumbled from his throat belonged to someone else, someone he definitely knew. It was a deep, growling voice, heavy enough to weigh down a mountain.
The young boy closed his eyes and shut them hard. When they opened, the winter was gone. He was back inside his subconscious, as his present self, sitting in front of the giant cage which contained Kurama, who was now staring at him quite angrily.
“What took you so long?” The fox grumbled.
“What?”
“You’ve been in a genjutsu.”
Naruto’s eyes widened quickly as his latest memories resurfaced. Sasuke had come to the leaf village and stolen him, as if he were no more than a scroll that needed retrieving. The blonde’s hand slammed over his chest; He sighed once he felt the familiar thump of his heartbeat.
“Sasuke didn’t kill me.” He confirmed.
“Not yet.” Kurama rolled his eyes. “You need to wake up and escape.”
Escape?
“Escape what?”
“Just wake up, brat.” The fox turned his head slightly. “I will not fall victim to an Uchiha. Not again.”
Before he knew it, Naruto’s eyes were closed as quickly as they had opened.
…..
The cold, isolated air hit Naruto's face as he woke. His head throbbed with a dull ache, his limbs heavy, like they didn’t belong to him anymore.
He sat up and looked around, quickly taking in the grim interior of a windowless basement, lit up only by the torches on the stone walls. The faint sound of dripping water echoed in the silence. His chest tightened as a wave of confusion washed over him—where was he?
He tried to move, but found it loud and confining. His wrists were bound by metal shackles that chained him to the wall at his back. Naruto attempted to tug at them, again and again with more force, but it was no use. His chakra was almost completely drained–completely gone.
“It’s useless.”
Naruto’s head snapped up. “Who’s there?”
Naruto’s eyes landed on a burly figure across the room. For a moment, he thought it might be his imagination, the lingering fog of sleep creeping into his head. But no, there was a man, watching Naruto like a rat in a cage. With wild, untamed orange hair, and an Akatsuki robe around his body.
Shit. Naruto thought.
“Those chains are set far apart so that you can’t weave a single hand sign. And even if you did, it wouldn’t work, because the handcuffs are withholding your chakra.” Jugo said. “It’s just a precaution. You are a jinchuriki, after all.”
“Do I know you?”
Naruto got the sense that he’d seen this man before, except he couldn’t remember exactly where or when. He had a list of all the Akatsuki members and this one didn’t ring any bells. Maybe he was a new member, like that masked man.
“You don’t recognize me? That’s alright, I suppose you were a little too preoccupied to notice me.” Jugo stepped forward to get a better look at the prisoner. “My name is Jugo. And you’re Naruto Uzumaki. It’s nice to meet you.”
Naruto quickly trotted back into his memories, searching for the face in front of him. Eventually, it hit. He was with Sasuke in the forest earlier on the way to kill Itachi. Jugo was right; Naruto’s clone was too preoccupied to give Sasuke’s teammates a single glance.
Wait–
“But you’re with the Akatsuki…” Naruto muttered, his gaze stuck on Jugo’s outfit.
What is Sasuke doing with the Akatsuki? Did he hand me over to them? Nauto’s thoughts ailed him. Anxiety built up in his abdomen.
“Yeah,” Jugo answered unsure, almost like he forgot he was wearing terrorist merchandise.
Naruto’s crystal blue eyes reached up through the steel bars and bore into Jugo’s careless expression. A surprising shiver ran up the burly man’s spine. He suddenly felt very thankful for the restraints. He began to step back towards the exit.
“I’ll be leaving then, now that you’re awake.”
“Wait!” Naruto pleaded. “Where am I? Where is Sasuke?”
Jugo intentionally ignored the imprisoned jinchuriki, and left.
After a full minute of solace, of water dripping onto cobblestone, of chains wrangling off one another, Naruto turned and folded himself into a criss-cross position. He shut his eyes and attempted to summon some article of sage mode. It was useless. With his chakra points blocked off, he didn’t have much to work with. Still, he tried. He tried and tried and then tried again. If Naruto was anything, he was relentless. He’d try, with all he had, until he couldn’t. Until he was dead.
…….
On his way back to the lobby of Taka base, Jugo lost himself in thought. He trusted Sasuke. He had a loyalty to him. Sasuke gave him a purpose in this group, a group he could belong to. Deep down, he considered Sasuke a friend. And yet, Jugo was suspicious. “Was this kidnapping worth the risk? What if this betrayal costs Taka their lives? What is Sasuke thinking?” The truth is that no one really knows what's going on inside that Uchiha’s head. This jinchuriki was making him act impulsively, recklessly.
Jugo turned the corner and stepped on something wet, followed by an, “Ow!”.
He looked down to see a familiar pale face and sharp toothy grin, becoming one with the wet floor.
“Suigetsu,” Jugo said curiously. “What are you doing?”
“Training.”
The two men stared at one another. Jugo’s confusion only deepened.
“How so?”
The slippery man started slowly regaining his solidity. Jugo watched as his comrade picked himself up out of manmade water and restilled the top half of his body.
“I’m testing my regeneration limits.” Suigetsu started to stand on one leg, his other one still dripping through reinstallation.
“Oh. I see.”
“Got to get stronger if we’re going to fight a guy with eight tails.” Suigetsu bounced. In less than a minute, he stood on his own two feet again.
“Are you nervous?” Jugo asked in his calm voice as the pair walked together down the hall.
“Never!” Suigetsu flexed his muscles. He seemed confident, but there was a flinch in his tone as he asked, “Why? Are you?”
Jugo shrugged his burlier shoulders. “If the opponent is stronger, I’ll have to use more of my curse mark powers, which means I could lose control of myself and hurt one of you.”
“Ah, don’t worry about that. I can take it.” Suigetsu waved it off. “Plus, Sasuke will be there. He always knows what to do.”
Jugo simply nodded. He agreed.
“Where is Karin?”
“I don’t know. She’s probably writing about Sasuke in her journal.” Suigetsu smirked. His voice turned up an octave as he mocked his teammate, “Today Sasuke and I made eye contact for three whole seconds. It was amazing!”
“You shouldn’t make fun of her. She’s in love.”
“You’re no fun.” Suigetsu sighed. “Hey, want to help me train? You can hold the sword this time.”
The man swung his arms with an invisible sword, making sound effects with his mouth.
“As fun as it sounds to sever your limbs, I’m on my way to see Sasuke.”
“What for?”
“He said to inform him immediately once the jinchuriki wakes up.”
Suigetsu's eyes widened. “He’s awake and you left him alone?!”
“He’s restrained.”
Suigetsu looked like he was about to argue, but decided he didn’t care enough and walked away. Jugo agreed with Suigetu’s hesitation. Sasuke had told Jugo not to worry about leaving Naruto unattended. He assumed it came from a place of arrogance, that if the Nine-Tails did manage to slip through its restraints, that Sasuke would have no problem forcing it back into submission. But something told him that it was much deeper than that, like Sasuke gave the instruction with the intention that he knew Naruto wouldn’t try to escape at all, almost like the order came from his heart and not his head.
Jugo took a deep breath and knocked on Sasuke’s door. When there was no answer, he knocked again. After his third try, he decided to twist the doorknob and enter the room himself. It was dark. The only light that peered in came from the moon, shining bright from Sasuke’s open window. The only sound that rustled came from the curtains dancing in the wind. The only thing that Jugo could see was Sasuke’s bare back. He was sitting upright in his bed, his head deep in his hands. He didn’t have to lift his head, or even a finger, to know what was happening around him.
“Sasuke?”
“What?” The raven replied, rubbing his eyes.
“The Nine-Tails is awake.” Jugo replied.
Sasuke’s head shot up at the mention of Naruto, but his eyes didn’t open. Jugo noticed his fingers twitch and his eyelids shake ever so slightly. It appeared as if the dark haired boy was in some kind of pain.
“Hey, are you–”
Sasuke stood, which cut Jugo off. The raven ran a hand through his hair and threw on the Akatsuki robe. Without another word, he blinked and ran out of the room, leaving Jugo to himself. Sasuke had been waiting. He had been sitting still, silently, for hours, to finally hear those words.
He felt ready, but was he really?
……
Naruto wouldn’t sleep. He could, he wanted to, but he wouldn’t. He had to stay awake, no matter what. It was completely inconvenient, considering he had just gotten back from a mission he barely slept on. His body was weak, his mind withered with fatigue. At this point, he’d go insane. Sleep deprivation would turn him into a schizophrenic. So utterly inconvenient. As if he didn’t already have enough to worry about.
Time passed so slowly in his state, forced to focus on each minute, each second. He knew that counting was the key to keeping his head. And yet, he started to lose track of the time, its long numbers trailing on and on and on.
A metal door eventually squeaked open to reveal Sasuke Uchiha in his new ensemble. He kept his hood up which completely drowned him in red clouds. Naruto sat up quickly. His eyes widened at the picture in front of him. He tried to blink it away. He wished it was impossible. He wished he was wrong. He wished he had indeed gone crazy from lack of sleep. But he didn’t, not yet.
It was silent as Sasuke stepped forward.
“What are you wearing?”
Sasuke casually looked down at himself. “This? It’s my brother’s. Don’t you like it?”
“You joined the Akatsuki?” Naruto’s voice fell in a whisper. His expression hardened and his heartbeat quickened. He struggled to make eye contact with his late comrade. “Why?”
“Why do you think?” Sasuke leaned down to Naruto’s level.
Naruto stared into the boy's eyes. A single look exchanged a million words that neither of them ever had to say. Naruto could still see it; the revenge that lingered deep within him like a parasite.
“Itachi is dead! You got your revenge!”
Sasuke’s eyes suddenly turned red. He reached an arm inside the cell, grabbed Naruto by the collar, and slammed him forward.
“Don’t speak his name.”
“This isn’t what he would want.”
“You don’t know anything about him!” Sasuke growled, his fists clenching against Naruto’s shirt. He burned with pure anger.
Naruto had no idea what Itachi went through. He had no idea the guilt, the sorrow and regret that Sasuke felt. He knew nothing, and yet he sat there and pretended like he did.
The blonde’s hands stuck out and wrapped around Sasuke’s own collar, holding the Akatsuki’s uniform in his palms. He was close to shaking. He leaned closer and their noses almost touched.
“Sasuke,” Naruto’s voice was soft. “Why am I here?”
Sasuke hated staring into Naruto’s eyes. They were nothing like his. They were like a calm blue ocean, gentle and steady, something Sasuke’s eyes never mirrored, and never could mirror. His were like a rough black storm at sea. They were full of hate. They were full of malice and despair, and Naruto knew it. He knew it and mocked him with it. He mocked Sasuke by looking upon him with such a tender expression.
At least, that’s the only way Sasuke saw it.
The raven’s grip softened and let go of his prisoner. His eyes fell out of the sharingan and back into their natural color.
“You’re in my way, Naruto.”
You follow me like a puppy.
“I can’t destroy the hidden leaf with you constantly there to protect it.”
“Destroy the hidden leaf?” Naruto’s heart flipped. “What are you talking about?”
Sasuke ignored the blonde. He looked away so that he didn’t have to stare into Naruto’s eyes anymore.
“It doesn’t matter.” He said.
What matters is that you’ll be here, not running after me. Sasuke thought.
Naruto immediately got an eerie feeling.
“Are you going to hand me over now?”
Sasuke’s head turned back to the cell. “To who?”
The blonde looked confused. “The Akatsuki?”
Sasuke laughed. It started small then erupted.
“Why would I do that? You’re my prisoner, not Madara’s.” The raven proclaimed his ownership over Naruto. “At least, not until I say so.”
“So you are going to hand me over to them.”
Sasuke didn’t answer. Instead, he stood and started back towards the exit.
“Sasuke,”
Naruto’s voice dropped, like he was serious. The Uchiha looked over his shoulder.
“I’m going to escape.” The blonde declared. “And I’m taking you back with me.”
A familiar promise, one that boiled Sasuke’s blood to a dangerous temperature. His anger resurfaced like an ember fanned to a flame. It consumed him. It always had. What he didn’t know is that Naruto felt every piece of it. He could see it, hear it, read it. Sasuke’s heart had been both Naruto’s favorite, and least favorite, book. A book he knew cover to cover. A book he could recite word for word in the darkness
And as much as Sasuke refused to acknowledge it, he had known Naruto’s heart just as well.
I hate you. Sasuke thought
“It’ll pass.” Naruto muttered through the white solace of the room.
And Sasuke pretended not to hear him, when in reality, it was the only thing he would think about for the rest of the night.