Chapter Text
Law’s heavy boots were the only sound that echoed through the corridors of the Polar Tang. The halls were empty, thankfully. He didn’t want to be questioned or disturbed right now. He was on a mission.
Law ripped open the door of the med bay, letting it close behind him. With swiftness and determination, he scanned the bookshelf that sat behind his desk. Everything Law did was methodical, even the way he organized his books. Everything was in alphabetical order and sorted by genre.
After a moment of him searching he found what he was looking for. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. He had it on hand and had briefly looked over it but he wasn’t well versed in psychology. Not as much as he’d like to be anyways.
He pulled the book from its place, dusting it off. The book itself was massive. It had a blue cover and sounded with a thud when Law dropped it onto the desk. He plopped down at his desk and began to flip through the pages, dragging his tattooed fingers across the index until he found the page he was looking for.
He flipped pages until he reached personality disorders. He scanned through each disorder. Paranoid personality disorder, schizoid, schizotypal antisocial, and finally borderline. The description read: ”A pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects marked impulsivity.”
His forefinger followed each word on the page as he read. Next was the criteria for being diagnosed. The first one; frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Law sat back for a moment, trying to recall a time she had done that in front of him. So far no, except for maybe her frantic apologizing for minor infractions such as dropping a plate while doing dishes.
Next; A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. Law’s finger tapped idly at the pages as he thought. He didn’t know the details of her relationship prior to their breakup so he couldn’t say for sure how intense it was. But she certainly devalued him when she caught him cheating when prior to that she was happy to see him. The memory of her smiling up at Jett made him sick with rage. He brushed it off and continued reading. He secretly hoped that maybe one day she’d idolize him.
Identity disturbance: Markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self. Her sense of self was definitely damaged. One minute she was confident and strong, the next she was sitting on the streets talking about how she was worthless. And clearly didn’t have a stable life beforehand either.
Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging. Law couldn’t help but scoff aloud, leaning back in his chair. She was certainly impulsive. For starters she just left to join a pirate crew without even thinking about it. Not to mention her frequent substance abuse problems. She smoked way too much marijuana and she was prone to drinking. But she was a bartender afterall.
Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats or self mutilating behavior. He ran an exhausted hand through his hair. Law had noticed, but at the time didn’t think much of it, that she would casually announce that she was going to kill herself every time something went wrong. He hoped she was only joking.
Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood. (Y/N) had anxiety, Law knew this. He assumed she had panic attacks as well considering she was on medicine for it. He wondered how often and how long they lasted. He also noticed how she seemed to fall out of reality every once in a while. Her eyes would glaze over and he’d call out to her but she couldn’t hear him.
Number seven was chronic feelings of emptiness. Law knew she felt that. She didn’t have to say it. He could see it in her face when she thought no one was looking. He hadn’t known her but a little over a week and he already felt like he knew her inside and out.
Law flipped to the next page where the criteria continued. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger. He let out a huff of amusement. All he could think about was that wooden chair splintering over the back of Jett’s head and back, knocking him to the floor.
And finally, transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms. So far she didn’t seem to have any kind of paranoia but she certainly dissociated. Again, he thought about the glossy look in her eyes where she would look so lost in thought he could hardly reach her. Law shut the book, rubbing both hands down his face. He needed to talk to her tomorrow.
Law opened up the bottom drawer of his desk before retrieving a bottle of rum and a glass. He sighed, pouring himself a generous drink. It was going to be a long night, he’d need it. Law stayed up half of the night rereading the borderline personality disorder section to better understand it. Unfortunately that was the only book he had that had the information he needed.
After a couple of hours, tipsy and frustrated, he stumbled back to the captain's quarters. Quietly, he creaked open the door and slipped inside the dark room, careful not to wake (Y/N). Law left his boots at the door, hanging up his coat and hat before creeping across the room in his socked feet towards the bed. He crawled into bed as silently as he could.
(Y/N) was soundly sleeping on the sofa where he left her. Unbeknownst to him, she had fallen asleep with worry on her mind. His mind however, was racing. He tossed and turned for what seemed like hours. He was busy thinking about her. About what a potential diagnosis like that could mean for her.
Law decided that he would be her doctor and psychiatrist. They would be docking at an island on Thursday. Two days away as it was now early Tuesday morning. Law had a plan already in motion as he always did. As a matter of fact he already planned what each crew member’s task would be on said island.
It was the usual setup. Him, (Y/N), and Bepo would be buying medical supplies, Ikkaku and Clione would be shopping for food, and Shachi and Penguin would be stocking up on cleaning products and toiletries. Jean Bart would be staying behind to watch the submarine. He had it written down in his planner already. Law was always so methodical.
Law was awoken the next morning by the sound of the shower running.
(Y/N).
She was the first thing that he thought of. If it were anybody else he’d be pissed. He hated being woken up. Especially after a long night. He was always the first one up. So for her to be awake before him means he must have slept in longer than he intended.
Law pulled himself from the sheets, eyes glued to the bathroom door. He checked the clock on his bedside table. It was only 6:33am. Why is she up so early? He thought to himself, rustling the exhaustion from his hair. Law quickly dressed himself for the day. He tried to be quick before she inevitably got out of the shower. Part of him hoped she’d catch him buttoning up his shirt.
No. He scolded himself, shaking the thoughts from his head. There was no reason for him to be so crude. To think, he hoped she’d get a glimpse of his chiseled tattooed chest. His face heated up at the thought. He mentally scolded himself again as he laced up his boots.
(Y/N) emerged from the bathroom, steam enveloping the room along with the floral scent of her shampoo. Law unintentionally inhaled her scent deeply. Her hair dripped water down her clothed shoulders and back as she ruffled her hair with the towel, her bare feet padding across the floor as she made her way for her still packed bag.
She was bent over rifling through her bag when Law realized something— she was acting as if he weren’t there. That made his heart beat out of rhythm. Why? He thought. He watched as she plopped down on the couch, brushing her wet hair.
He glanced down at her bags on the floor beside the couch she slept on. He had cleaned out a couple of drawers for her to use, so why was she still living out of a bag? That’s when he decided to break the silence between them.
“You know I cleaned out a spot for you in my dresser?” He said, placing his hat on his head.
(Y/N) glanced up, seemingly startled.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I just forgot. I thought I wasn’t staying in here permanently.” She replied, placing her brush back where she got it.
Law was caught. Or he thought he was. He never intended on moving her in with Ikkaku. Her bed had been ready for days now. Ikkaku had even been badgering him in private about when she would be getting her new roommate. Law or course continued to brush her off, claiming she wasn’t ready yet. That she needed more time to adjust.
“Ikkaku hasn’t made space for you yet,” he lied. “I’ve been keeping her busy, sorry. I hope you don’t mind staying here a little longer.”
(Y/N) shook her head.
“No, not at all. I just figured you’d want your own space back soon.” She replied.
Law gave her the faintest smile. It was hardly even noticeable.
“You’re no trouble. Really. I enjoy having some company every once in a while.” He said in a tone that was hard to read.
“Are you sure?” She asked hesitantly.
“Positive.”
Breakfast went off without a hitch. (Y/N) sat between Bepo and Law per usual. The crew chatted as. Usually, occasionally including her in their conversation. She didn’t reply much. Usually just a nod or a ‘yeah’ in return but she did smile and laugh with them.
At one point, Law’s knee brushed hers and he nearly choked. No one noticed but Bepo, who shot him a concerned look. When she didn’t move away, he fumbled and dropped his fork under the table. And to make matters worse, when he climbed under the table to retrieve it, he banged his head under the table. He came back up, rubbing his head with a red face.
After breakfast, it was time for them to disinfect the med bay. The heavy door slammed shut behind them as they entered. Without a word Law proceeded to hang her a rag and a bottle of alcohol.
“I’ll have you start by cleaning off the counters while I disinfect the tools. Me and you will do a thorough cleaning of the med bay every Tuesday. I usually do it myself but it can’t hurt to have some competent help.” He gave her a slight smirk before turning his back to her.
(Y/N) wetted the rag with the alcohol and began to wipe down the counters gently. Almost too gently. As if she was afraid she’d damage them. The only sound in the med bay was the clanking of the metal tool as he wiped one off and put it onto the silver cart.
Law couldn’t help but glance over at her every once in a while. Not intentionally. Not to make sure she was doing her job properly. But because he couldn’t help himself. He’d never admit it but he was enamored by the way she leaned over the counter. Her silver pendant swung from her neck as she wiped. How the light would catch the rings on her fingers. And how her hair hung limply in front of her face.
She was precise. Almost as precise as he was but her nervousness overshadowed it. He knew that she was determined to impress him. It made his chest swell with pride. He’d had women throw themselves at him before. But he didn’t want them, he didn’t want that. He never really wanted a partner, that’s what his crew was for. They were all the family he needed.
It took about an hour for the two of them to disinfect the med bay. When Law would do it alone it would take all day. But to be honest he wasn’t being as thorough as usual due to his newfound distraction. Deep down he was afraid his uptight behavior would push her away. So, he tried to seem as laidback as possible when she was around. Even when perfection was gnawing away from the inside.
“You did a good job.” Law praised her, snapping the blue rubber gloves from his hands and tossing them into the trash.
(Y/N) followed suit before giving him a soft and slightly awkward smile in return. She didn’t speak much. Law liked that. Someone was always trying to talk his ear off and he valued silence. She was perfect company. He never took her quietness as an insult. He knew she was just shy and didn’t have much to say. But he could tell she was a deep thinker. Just like him. Maybe that’s what drew him in.
Law didn’t have her for much longer as Bepo requested her help since she had been doing so well in the kitchen. It was obvious she liked Bepo. Most did, it was hard not to. Even Law had a soft spot for the bear. Law of course observed her during lunch. Watching her chop carrots for soup. Again, not to judge but because he couldn’t help but watch. He loved the way Bepo got her to come out of her shell. She would giggle and smile up at him. She’d even speak without being spoken to. It made Law a little jealous.
She helped with dinner as well. Maybe that would be her place on the ship. Bepo wasn’t the best cook in the world but with (Y/N)’s help he seemed to be getting better. Even the rest of the crew had noticed. Shachi had made a comment about how the soup actually had flavor. Bepo didn’t hesitate to compliment her as well as give her credit.
“Well, I was a waitress for years, I helped in the kitchen every once in a while when we were understaffed. And not to mention I was the one who usually cooked at home.” She said quietly, not making eye contact with anyone as she played with her food.
Law loved to learn things about her. With every new fact he kept a mental note of it. He couldn’t wait until they docked at the new island on Thursday. He wanted to take her shopping, buy her some new clothes. His treat for being such a cooperative crewmate. Not because he had some unrequited feelings he was trying so hard to ignore.
That night, Law could hardly sleep. He tossed and turned to the sound of her breathing. He wanted to ask her so many questions. Mainly why would she ever have even put up with a man like Jett? How did they meet? What was her life like before? Maybe on Thursday he could give Bepo a mission so he could get some alone time with her. They could go get lunch and he could ask her anything he wanted. As he drifted off to sleep the only thing on his mind was her.