Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s 5:48 when Alhaitham wakes in the morning. 12 minutes more than he usually does. However, today is a special day. Alhaitham is excited, and that is an oddity among itself. He sits up in his bed, stretching his arms before he reminds himself of why today is so wonderful:

Today is his last day as acting grand sage. 

After a whole year of Lord Kusanali pushing back against his attempts to resign, she has finally found a worthy successor for Alhaitham. He could’ve almost cried from joy when he found out two weeks ago, but he was at work and had no time to cry then. Instead, he’d gone home early that day and told Kaveh immediately. 

His boyfriend was happy for him. After all, why wouldn’t he be? Alhaitham was getting out of the job that he’d despised for the longest time. It made him so much more pleasant for the past two weeks, too. Kaveh had been commenting on seeing Alhaitham smile more (he wasn’t doing it consciously).

He allows himself to remain in bed for a few minutes longer than normal. Alhaitham can hear Kaveh shuffling around outside of his room like a dead man struggling to walk. He smiles. Kaveh didn’t sleep very well last night, and Alhaitham can tell. He must have been up all night working on a design. 

It’s oddly domestic to listen to Kaveh work. He hears his beloved mumble to himself and start making a pot of coffee for them both, humming a song to himself just low enough not to wake Alhaitham. 

Unfortunately, he had to get up. Alhaitham grunted, forcing himself upright and stretching. He took one look at the window and smiled to himself. 

Life was good.

Alhaitham got dressed within ten minutes, as always, then stretched once more and left his room. He made his way to the bathroom, only to find that the door was locked. Kaveh must’ve been inside, so he knocked again.

“Ah- one second!” Kaveh called out, flushing the toilet and washing his hands. Just the sound of his voice was enough to make Alhaitham’s heart warm a little bit. Kaveh opened the door, stepping out and immediately bumping into Alhaitham.

Maybe Alhaitham was a weak man, because the only thing he thought of was collapsing into Kaveh’s arms and hoping that he would be loved and kissed by his boyfriend. 

No, that was a lie. Alhaitham was a strong man. Mentally, physically, emotionally strong, but he was completely weak when it came to the man who he lived with. 

And who could blame him? Alhaitham pulled Kaveh into a hug before he had a chance to speak again, kissing him on the forehead and holding him close for a second. 

“Good morning to you, too, Alhaitham,” Kaveh says affectionately, kissing his love on the cheek and smiling. “Did you sleep well?”

They begin to migrate to the kitchen as Alhaitham responds. “Better than I have in a while,” Alhaitham replies. “I can’t complain.” 

In the kitchen, there is a hot and delicious smelling pot of coffee waiting for Alhaitham- and he can’t resist pouring half of it into his work thermos and taking a big sip that burns his tongue. He doesn’t care, though. The look that Kaveh gives him in return is priceless. 

“You’re going to burn yourself like that, you know,” Kaveh says. “Even though you have a crazy tolerance for everything, you will overestimate your own limits eventually.”

Alhaitham shrugs. “I have faith in my abilities,” he says. “What’s wrong with that?

This leads to a 20-minute bantering session about how Alhaitham is apparently reckless that is cut short when he notices it’s time for him to go. Alhaitham cuts off Kaveh’s point with a kiss, one that is deepened to shut down any protests that his beloved boyfriend might have to shut him down.

“Your breath smells like coffee,” Kaveh complains to him affectionately, brushing short silver curls behind Alhaitham’s ear. “Don’t work too late, Cyno and Tighnari are expecting us at Lambad’s later to celebrate your freedom. Have a good day, Haitham.”

Alhaitham lets himself smile. “I love you too, Kaveh.” He pulls away, picking up his headphones and adjusting them just enough to block out the loud sounds of the city outside. Alhaitham takes a deep breath. He can do this. He’s done this before.  

Just as Alhaitham is about to leave, Kaveh calls out a reminder. “Remember that I’ll pick you up right after work!” He says loudly enough for Alhaitham to hear, even with his soundproof earpieces. In return, Alhaitham nods and makes sure to leave Kaveh’s pair of keys in their rightful spot. 

Alhaitham is met with wind when he closes the door. It’s an unusually chilly day, but not even that can shake his good mood. He gets to be a scribe again after today, but not before he takes a well-deserved vacation. Alhaitham’s heart is already warming as he thinks about tender mornings and sleepless nights that he’ll get to spend with his love, something that he has been experiencing less of lately because of the demands of their jobs. 

As he walks to the Akedemiya, Alhaitham lets his mind wander to how lucky he felt today. On the outside, he looked cold and calculated. His strides were straight and intentional, everything about Alhaitham was professional and calm. 

But on the inside, he knows that he’s beaming with happiness. Even the cold chill that went through his body didn’t faze him for a second. Alhaitham knew that he had something better, something stronger to keep him warm. 

If Kaveh were there, he would likely guess ‘is it my love? Is my love keeping you warm, Haiyi?’ In a teasing voice as he always did. 

Kaveh was wrong. He had something even better: coffee. 

While love was a wonderful thing, Alhaitham knew that it couldn’t alter the body temperature of a person to a major degree and prevent the effects of wind chill. He was not a child. 

However, the idea of Kaveh keeping him warm in spirit was very true. His soul was happy as he sipped the coffee his boyfriend had made with love and stepped into the doors of the Akedemiya.

Alhaitham is greeted immediately by a swarm of people, all of them wishing him well on his last day. He grimaces, realizing that this is only the start of a day full of well-meaning and over-eager scholars trying to strike up a conversation with him. 

He is patient today, though, and so Alhaitham sips his coffee through every ‘great work’ and ‘have a wonderful break’ before Lord Kusanali parted the crowd with her tiny hands and stood in front of Alhaitham. 

“Acting Grand Sage,” she smiles. “I see you’re enjoying yourself. Congratulations on your last day!” Lord Kusanali looked a little saddened by the idea of Alhaitham going back to being the scribe, but she seemed hopeful nonetheless.

Alhaitham politely smiles back. “Thank you, Lord Kusanali.” 

That is apparently the wrong thing to say, because the tiny god’s face scrunches up slightly. “I’ve told you before to call me Nahida…”

It’s then that he remembers how young and childlike she looked, despite how wise she truly was. Alhaitham sighs, mentally correcting himself. 

“Nahida, then. Thank you.”

Once again, her smile returned. Nahida took his free hand and began walking alongside Alhaitham, leading him to the elevator that would take them up to his office. Soon enough, it would be his former office. Alhaitham felt a little giddy at the thought of leaving the Akedemiya behind to go back to his perfect life of normalcy. 

“My new pick for Grand Sage was very eager. I scouted her dreams for months,” Nahida explained. The elevator started to go up, and Alhaitham took another sip of coffee to mentally prepare himself for meeting new people. He frowns. Alhaitham is out of coffee. He missed it already. 

Kaveh would make him more later, that was something he could count on.

After a minute, the elevator stopped. Alhaitham felt his stomach flip slightly, and he made a mental note to visit the bathroom later. All of that coffee had to go somewhere, after all. 

That would have to wait. Alhaitham walked in, noticing how different the office seemed now. The colors had seemingly been changed overnight, the pictures that Alhaitham had kept on the desk, and there was a young blonde woman with a hydro vision looking around like this office was the most amazing place on Teyvat.

Nahida hurried over to her. “Ah, Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham, this is your replacement! Grand Sage Saanvi,” she said, pulling on Saanvi’s hand. The new grand sage pushed up her glasses and nervously stuck her hand out.

Alhaitham looked her up and down. This woman was young, obviously very eager to please. Internally, he decided that he didn’t like her very much. Nevertheless, he took Saanvi’s hand and shook it politely. 

“Senior Alhaitham,” she smiled. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I have very big shoes to fill.”

A suckup, he noted, unimpressed. Nahida had likely found some good qualities in her, but Alhaitham didn’t really care. He nodded politely (Alhaitham was attempting to be as polite as possible), just hoping to get this day over with as fast as he could. 

Nahida went on about the agenda for the day- the only thing Alhaitham had to do was show up and sit through two meetings. Unfortunately, these two meetings were supposed to take the whole day. Alhaitham mentally prepared himself, helping himself to some free (but lower quality) coffee from the Akedemiya. 

About thirty minutes into the meeting, Alhaitham remembers that he needs to pee. It’s not a terribly pressing issue, so he figures that he can hold it. Instead of raising the issue of a break, his mind wanders to all of the things he would do on vacation. 

Sleeping in would be the main thing. He would wake up for two weeks straight with nothing to do but hold Kaveh until the two of them had no choice but to get up and eat and be somewhat productive. Alhaitham would get the alone time with Kaveh that he so often craved. He would be able to rest, recover from this awful job. 

Before Alhaitham knows it, the first meeting is over and his bladder is making itself known again. 

He shuffles out of the meeting room, making a beeline for the restroom. Alhaitham knew that he had to take care of this before it became an issue. 

“Are all of the meetings filled with absolute nonsense?” Saanvi asked, pushing up her glasses for the fifth time today.

Alhaitham decided that he could wait to use the bathroom a little bit longer. After all, Nahida wanted him to guide the new Grand Sage. And she was also watching him very intently. “I wouldn’t say nonsense, I would say… a different word that’s a lot less kind.”

“Bullshit,” Saanvi said. Alhaitham snorted, caught off guard for a moment. “It’s bullshit, senior. You don’t need to lie to me.”

“…Bullshit,” Alhaitham agreed. Maybe he had judged her too harshly at the start. She was more tolerable than most scholars, it seemed. 

The rest of the break passed quickly, and Alhaitham found himself with yet another empty cup. Water, this time. Internally, he cursed- he had once again forgotten to use the bathroom when he had the chance. 

It wasn’t horribly bad, anyway. He could wait for longer, that was a given. Alhaitham nodded along to the drivel of the other sages, counting down the minutes until he’d get to go home with Kaveh. Sure, meetings were boring, but at least he had something to look forward to.

And then the first spasm hit. Alhaitham’s eyes went wide for a split second, and he knocked over his empty thermos on accident. 

All eyes were on him as Alhaitham’s heartbeat sped up, realizing that he actually really had to go to the bathroom. 

“Acting Grand Sage?” Nahida questioned, confused and a little concerned for him. “Are you feeling alright?” The others stared at him, whispering amongst themselves to try and guess what could be wrong. 

He couldn’t speak. Suddenly, Alhaitham’s voice failed him. He clenched the table, trying to force out a word, any word- but luckily, Saanvi spoke up.

“I assume he’s just itching to give me the job,” she smiled, soothing the other sages and attendants. “After all, I don’t believe that Acting Grand Sage Alhaitham has ever enjoyed this job. I would guess that he’s just had a sudden burst of energy or some other minor issue. Let’s not focus on that.”

As much as he internally flinched when Saanvi said ‘burst’, he was grateful to her subject change. The others accepted that answer and continued on. 

Alhaitham breathed a sigh of relief. All he had to do now was wait for the meeting to be over. Then, he could go home. And pee. He needed to pee as soon as he got home, because the second Alhaitham stood up to leave, the fullness of his bladder doubled. 

He wouldn’t dare show it. Alhaitham couldn’t afford to show any weakness, not now or ever. A glance toward the bathrooms gave him notice that both bathrooms had lines outside them, so he would have to wait until he got home. 

At least, now, he was free. 

…Or so he thought. 

When he was about to leave, Alhaitham was once again swarmed with eager students wishing him well and praising Alhaitham for his work as Acting Grand Sage. Unlike earlier, when it had been merely trivial, it was now painful. Alhaitham was overwhelmed from the day. He wanted to go home and pee, oh archons he really needed to pee. 

Somehow, he managed to push his way through the crowd and shuffle his way outside. Alhaitham breathed a sigh of relief, only to feel that unwelcome shiver going down his spine. It was a constant reminder that he was growing desperate to relieve himself, feeling how his belt pressed uncomfortably against his bladder. Why did he have to wear such a complicated belt every day?

The walk home wasn’t far, but it felt a lot longer than normal because Alhaitham’s mind was occupied. Everything suddenly seemed to be reminding him of the pain in his bladder. 

Just when he was about five minutes away from home, he felt a pair of hands close around his vision and a familiar voice ask, “Guess who?”

Kaveh. 

“I’m not sure,” Alhaitham said with a dull tone to his voice. “I interact with a lot of annoying people daily.” He once again pushed down his not-quite desperate need to pee, deciding to interact with his boyfriend. 

Kaveh let out an offended gasp, letting Alhaitham see again and going in front of his love to show that it was him. “Annoying?!” He huffed, getting close to Alhaitham’s face. “Is that any way to talk to the man who set up your celebration at Lambad’s?” 

…Right. He wasn’t going home right away, he was going to meet up with Tighnari and Cyno to have drinks together and play TCG. Alhaitham would have to hold his bladder a little bit longer, just until he got to Lambad’s. 

“I suppose not,” Alhaitham relented. He was a little too exhausted from the meeting and having to pee so badly that it was beginning to be the only thing he could think about. “So are you going to get drunk like every time we go to Lambad’s, or are you going to remain sober enough to talk to me in complete sentences tonight?”

They began their walk. “Wh- I don’t get drunk every time,” Kaveh argued, holding Alhaitham’s hand and intertwining their arms. Mockingly-offended, he rolled his eyes and led Alhaitham along. 

When they arrived, Alhaitham started to walk to the bathroom. He was actually desperate now, he could admit that. Alhaitham seriously needed to pee before it got any worse. 

He was intercepted by Cyno, who pulled him back towards their table in the corner. “Ah-ah-ah. No ditching us tonight, Alhaitham.”

Alhaitham frowned internally. He needed the bathroom- but one drink couldn’t hurt, could it? He could wait for his friends to finish drinking, surely. He could wait. 

“I’m going to deck you tonight,” Cyno said simply, watching Alhaitham sit down at the table, pulling out a large Genius Invokation TCG card deck and placing it down in front of him. 

Nobody laughed. 

“…You see, it’s funny because-”

“We get it,” Tighnari groaned, handing Cyno a shot to get him to shut up. “Play your game, ya amar. And please, for the sake of all of us- no puns?”

Cyno pulled out a few carefully selected cards- two Hydro and one Dendro character card that Alhaitham didn’t care to examine. All he could think about was how Hydro was likely his worst enemy as of now, with all the liquid piling up in his bladder. Alhaitham crossed his left leg over his right and narrowed his eyes.

“I don’t mind the puns tonight,” he said as calmly as possible. When Tighnari looked like he was going to protest, Alhaitham raised an eyebrow and said, “It’s my party, I think that I can decide if he’s allowed to make puns.”

Cyno grinned. “I appreciate that.”

Alhaitham internally let out a sigh, preparing his bladder to wait another ten minutes. He would be fine. 

…

A while later, Alhaitham was panicking. It turned out that it had not taken ten minutes- it had taken two hours and thirty whole minutes. Alhaitham had stopped speaking, attempting to save his energy for the cramping in his bladder. His situation had gone from desperate to downright painful within that time, sending Alhaitham down a terrible spiral of aches and pains and desperation. 

No. This was past desperation. Alhaitham couldn’t even think, couldn’t pay attention to the things happening around him. He could barely register any of the words that Kaveh and Cyno were yelling at each other with some sort of competitive edge- it all sounded like noise, and that was all. 

Tighnari patted Alhaitham on the back, and his back went completely straight. His bladder throbbed in the worst way possible, and Alhaitham was forced to look at Tighnari.

“Are you alright?” He murmured, a little worried about Alhaitham. “You’re silent, even for you. Maybe you need to take a walk and stretch your legs.”

A walk. Yes. Alhaitham nodded, and Tighnari walked away. He finally had a chance to pee, just the thought of getting up and making it into a restroom with a urinal sounded like Celestia to him. 

He might’ve thought about it too much, because a leak escaped him. Alhaitham clenched his thighs tighter, preparing to stand with shaky legs and walk all the way to the men’s bathroom. 

When Alhaitham tried to stand, his knees were locked. Alhaitham swallowed a pained sob, and the world around him seemed so unbearably loud. It hurt. It STUNG, it burned so incredibly much that Alhaitham couldn’t remember a time that he’d ever had to piss this badly. 

Alhaitham was going to die on the spot. Pee himself and die on the spot and Kaveh would leave him and his kidneys were going to explode and oh archons he was going to wet himself now-

His heart rate spiked. Alhaitham could feel the urine beading at his tip. He clenched down, squeezing all of his muscles again. It was painful, but he had to at least try. He knew that any attempts were futile.

Alhaitham let out a whine. Kaveh noticed. His attention shifted over to his boyfriend, poking him in the cheek. Kaveh was visibly drunk as he smiled. “Haiiiyiiiii…” he hiccuped, “What’s wrong? What’re you doing?”

Of course, that was when he broke. 

Alhaitham’s stomach dropped as he felt his bladder give up and he started pissing with full force, right there on his seat in Lambad’s Tavern. It was fast but not merciful, and within seconds he noticed that his entire backside was drenched. 

The seats at Lambad’s were not absorbent at all. The force of his stream was so powerful that he could hear it, even with his headphones in. Down his legs it went, drenching his pants all the way through. It was so much that Alhaitham just knew it was puddling beneath him. He could feel the warm liquid pooling at his feet, splashing against his boots and the floor below. 

All conversation at the table died to a halt as three pairs of eyes landed on Alhaitham. Kaveh covered his mouth, a horrified expression on his face. He didn’t pull away, just stared in shock. Tighnari was next, and he almost dropped his drink. His ears went flat against his head, unsure how to process this. 

Cyno was last to notice. He looked around in confusion, wondering why everyone had stopped talking. Then, his eyes went wide and he asked, “Did you just piss yourself?”

And Alhaitham broke down. The tears he had been holding back all day were suddenly unstoppable, and Alhaitham’s body shook with the sobs he couldn’t hold in anymore. 

Somehow, that was more shocking than him peeing his pants like a toddler. Tighnari immediately ran off to get some napkins while Cyno started cleaning the table off. Kaveh hugged Alhaitham from behind, blocking him from the sights of anybody who could possibly see him like this. 

Alhaitham felt ashamed. A deep, horrible shame that echoed through his body and settled in his stomach, right above his aching and pained bladder. How could he do this, how could he let himself make such a fatal mistake?!

Kaveh was empathetic. He planted a kiss on Alhaitham’s head, shushing him gently. “Hey, hey… it’s okay, Haiyi,” he whispered. Kaveh rubbed comforting, calming circles into Alhaitham’s shoulders. “You’re okay.”

A deep wave of panic shot through him. Without another word, Alhaitham stood up and started walking home. He needed to get away from this situation, he HAD to get out of the tavern. Immediately. 

Kaveh yelped, hurrying to catch up with Alhaitham as he walked out. “H-Hey! Alhaitham, wait up-” he called out. However, Alhaitham didn’t slow down at all. He picked up the pace, ignoring the aches and pains that remained in his sore bladder. If Kaveh caught up to him, he was sure that he’d be judged. 

Kaveh managed to catch up, grabbing onto Alhaitham’s shoulder. He was out of breath, panting before he noticed how absolutely terrible Alhaitham looked. Alhaitham was still shaking, gently wrapping his arms around his abdomen and looking away from Kaveh.

“Look away,” he begged, “Kaveh, look away.” Alhaitham couldn’t bear to have the love of his life see him like this, legs sticky with urine and a painful ache in his bladder that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard he tried to will it out of his system.

“Love, it’s okay,” Kaveh frowned, brushing hair behind Alhaitham’s ear like he had done so lovingly earlier that morning. “What happened, anyway? If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”

Alhaitham shook his head. He couldn’t talk about it. Not now. Not when the pain was still there and the embarrassment was still raw. 

Kaveh sighed, holding Alhaitham’s hand once more and giving it a comforting squeeze. “We can talk about it later, then,” reassuring him. “Let’s just go home. You can sleep in my bed tonight, alright?” 

He was fortunate that it was late at night now and nobody else was walking around- at least nobody who would pay attention to the glimmer of Alhaitham’s soaked black pants that shimmered in the moonlight since they were so saturated with pee. 

Alhaitham gave Kaveh a short nod. He had to get home, away from anything else. Home would be better, home was where Alhaitham could finally relax. 

It would be better in the morning.

Chapter Text

“How pathetic,” Kaveh sneers with a disgusted glare in his eyes. “I thought you were stronger than this, Junior.”

There’s warm urine streaming down Alhaitham’s legs, and he is unable to stop it. He sobs, desperately clenching all of his muscles in a desperate attempt to end his humiliation. Kaveh rolls his eyes, walking over and looking down at Alhaitham with an uncharacteristic amount of malice. 

“I’m not-” Alhaitham tries to explain, but he’s interrupted instantly. 

“I can’t believe I’m dating an incontinent child,” Kaveh snaps, pushing him over. With tears streaming out of his eyes, Alhaitham falls down with a little splash, pants getting ever wetter by the second. 

This is an absolute nightmare. 

—

It is, in fact, a nightmare. Alhaitham wakes up in a cold sweat, sitting up in bed suddenly. He looks outside. It’s still dark. Though Alhaitham knows it’s not rational, his heart is pounding from the aftermath of that nightmare. 

Alhaitham feels nothing but shame. He’s still mortified after wetting himself in front of his friends, and who wouldn’t be?

For some reason, it’s worse for him. Alhaitham has never experienced this kind of shame before. Even when he was younger, he had never been a bedwetter or had accidents. 

Some kind of curse must be on him, Alhaitham thinks. There must have been some reason his body betrayed him at the worst possible moment yesterday, and it was CERTAINLY not his fault. 

…Maybe it was his fault, actually. He should have been more forceful, he shouldn’t have gotten distracted, shouldn’t have drank so much coffee… there were a lot of things Alhaitham should have and should not have done. 

Feeling absolute shame, the uncomfortable fullness in his bladder… that was the worst thing Alhaitham had ever felt. 

It felt like now, actually. 

…Wait.

Alhaitham cringes as he retracts his earlier statement. He feels two things, actually: shame and the growing need to pee yet again. Mentally, he chastises his bladder. Not again, Alhaitham practically groans. 

At least now, he’s in the comfort of his own home. There’s no reason for Alhaitham not to go and pee now. He’s free. He can just go whenever he likes!

He attempts to sit up in the pile of blankets that Kaveh considers a ‘bed’, only to realize one thing. 

Kaveh’s arms have taken him hostage. Normally, those arms are symbols of comfort and love, grounding Alhaitham when he’s overwhelmed and panicking. But now, they were chaining him to a bed that he has zero desire to be stuck in. 

Alhaitham grumbles about it, but he manages to pry Kaveh’s tight grip off of himself. Unfortunately, this wakes him up. 

“Mmh?” Kaveh mumbles, voice low from being woken up so early. He opens one eye, and Alhaitham knows that he looks like a mess because Kaveh doesn’t even hesitate to wrap his arms around him even tighter than before and pull Alhaitham close. 

Dammit.

“Hey, hey- it’s alright,” Kaveh murmurs. “Did you need something, Haiyi?”

His ever-over-emotional lover can tell that Alhaitham’s still shaken up from last night. Kaveh is a natural comforter, the emotion to Alhaitham’s logic. 

There’s a soft feeling that bubbles up in Alhaitham’s chest upon seeing Kaveh like this. Even now, his boyfriend is cute to him. So caring and soft, though he would never admit it to Kaveh in any other context- that would be too embarrassing. 

Alhaitham feels a little stupid when he remembers he has a voice, so he tries to speak up and say ‘I need to pee again, let me up’. 

But nothing comes out of his mouth. Kaveh gives him a sympathetic look.

And Alhaitham’s heart pounds a bit faster when he realizes that he cannot speak. Of all the times to go nonverbal, it’s when he’s trying to explain to Kaveh that he actually needs something other than his lover’s comfort or a distraction. Once again, he tries to escape Kaveh’s grasp. 

“Shhh, shh…” Kaveh mumbles. He brushes Alhaitham’s hair softly, trying to make him calm and comfortable. “Just rest, okay? You need sleep.”

A third time, Alhaitham lets out a broken whine of protest. He’s so tired, and the simple act of holding his pee in is beginning to hurt. It burns, almost, if he had to describe it. 

He wasn’t nearly as descriptive as Kaveh is, though, so pain was pain and Alhaitham was seriously struggling. 

Alhaitham’s bladder is far weaker than usual. He had been holding on for at least ten hours last night, so he doubted that the bed they were in was going to stay dry for much longer. 

At least Kaveh was soothing him. He wouldn’t be shamed or chastised, Kaveh would understand. 

It was kind of sad that Kaveh couldn’t understand what Alhaitham was trying to say, now.

Another painful throb echoed through Alhaitham’s bladder, and he was defeated. He knew better than this, but… if it was going to just cause him pain, he shouldn’t keep holding it in. Even the strongest of minds and bodies had a limit to how much they could take. 

With a strangled little noise of both pain and anticipating relief, Alhaitham slowly unclenches his muscles to let himself go.

Warmth and relief practically surge through Alhaitham as he lets out a little sigh, wet warmth slowly spreading through his boxers and starting to seep into the blankets around him. It’s good, Alhaitham realizes. It feels so good, nothing like his usual act of peeing into a toilet. 

Alhaitham is so blissful and relieved that he doesn’t even realize that his urine is lapping against his boyfriend’s thigh, starting Kaveh into a sudden realization. 

“Oh! Oh- oh, I’m sorry,” Kaveh suddenly gasped, taking his hands off of Alhaitham and inching away. “I see what you need- go. You can go.”

Alhaitham manages to cut off the stream, shivering when his bladder sends a stabbing sensation through his whole body. No, his mind begs, please, just let me pee here…

It’s all he can think about now. Alhaitham’s normally calculating and strategic mind is filled with whiny protests about staying in bed and relieving himself silently. He whines softly, words coming out as a quiet slur of desperation. 

It’s good that Kaveh senses his hesitation and struggle, because he springs into action. Kaveh almost throws the blankets off of them both, hopping out of bed and grabbing Alhaitham’s arm to support him. “Alhaitham, you’re not going to piss here,” he tries to reassure his boyfriend. “I’ll take you to the bathroom. Move.”

Thank the archons that Kaveh is willing to help him, because Alhaitham has no willpower left in his soul.

With the balance of a day-old kitten, Alhaitham stumbles out of bed and wipes at the pesky tears that continue to bead at his eyes. Kaveh is right by his side the whole time, whispering words of encouragement. 

He makes it through the doorway. The seven steps from the hallway to the bathroom seem like the length of a thousand deserts to Alhaitham. He tries to stop walking. 

It hurts, it aches, it burns-

“Come on, Haiyi,” Kaveh urges him, rubbing his back. “You’re so close, you’re doing so well… just a little longer, okay?”

Alhaitham whines. No, no, he doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to hold it anymore! All Alhaitham wants is to pee at last and cry and let Kaveh hold him close, to never let himself be this embarrassed again. 

Step by step, Kaveh guides him to the bathroom. His words barely register anymore, and though his vision is blurry, Alhaitham can see the vauge shape of a toilet. 

“Now you can go,” Kaveh offers helpfully. He lets Alhaitham go, no longer holding onto his boyfriend. 

Alhaitham’s heart soars. Finally, finally, relief… relief that is so good that his mind mistakes Kaveh’s reassurances as permission to pee where he is right now. He sighs, sinking to his knees and letting his bladder go.

Directly in front of the toilet is where Alhaitham pees himself, so close to the proper place where people are supposed to urinate. It’s absolutely degrading, but all he can think about is how good it feels, how warm his own pee feels against his skin and how much better it is to not be bursting all the time. 

The only thing that breaks Alhaitham out of his blissful state is the look Kaveh is giving him. The look of slight panic and major shock that Alhaitham can only register as pure disgust. 

Alhaitham freezes right where he sits, trembling. He feels sick all of a sudden, sick to his stomach. All of the pain and aches don’t leave, but at least he’s not holding anymore. 

When he finally stops, Kaveh leaves the room. Alhaitham’s heart breaks immediately. 

He shouldn’t have done that. He should not have let himself lose control. Alhaitham feels weak, so, so weak. Weaker than last night because he was in the comfort of his own home and needed Kaveh to hold him tight even though Alhaitham was a mess and COVERED in piss and pathetic and-

Kaveh wraps a towel around Alhaitham. 

The tears are back in his eyes when Alhaitham looks up and sniffles, acting so abnormal compared to his normal behavior. He sees Kaveh’s eyes again, noting the disgust he had perceived earlier to actually be sympathy. 

“Hey,” Kaveh whispers, kneeling in Alhaitham’s urine. Alhaitham winces and almost tells him to get back, but his voice is still gone. It’s even more embarrassing than his normal nonverbal episodes. 

Instead, he nods to let Kaveh know that he’s listening. Kaveh sighs, relieved, brushing a little hair out of his face. “You… I’m sorry,” he sighs, looking down at Alhaitham with a bit of pity and sadness. “I should’ve known you had to get up, I just assumed that you were having a nightmare and-”

Alhaitham tunes out Kaveh’s apologies. He doesn’t need to hear it. Alhaitham knows it’s not Kaveh’s fault for trying to comfort him, but it’s still nice to be loved and cared for nonetheless. 

Kaveh reaches for the hem of Alhaitham’s pants. Normally, Alhaitham would’ve shot him a suggestive glance, but he felt too weak to even joke about it. He stands up, letting his boyfriend strip him of his wet pants, boxers, and everything he wears. Alhaitham feels horribly exposed when Kaveh leaves the room, so he picks up a towel and hides behind it. 

A few minutes later, his beloved boyfriend comes back, armed with towels and cleaning supplies. He makes quick work of Alhaitham’s accident, wiping it up and spraying the floor with some cleaner that he doesn’t even recognise. 

Alhaitham closes his eyes. It’s all too overwhelming for him, all too much… his bladder burns, but it isn’t worth mentioning. That’s not what he’s trying to focus on now. 

Kaveh starts up a bath and gently guides his boyfriend into the tub, murmuring sweet praises all the while. 

“Hey, you’re doing good, Alhaitham,” Kaveh says, “You’re so strong, you’re so smart… It's okay. You don’t have to be ashamed. Accidents happen to everyone.”

Warm water once again laps against Alhaitham’s pale skin, but this time it’s an acceptable feeling. He sinks into it. 

Warm, his mind sighs. Warmth is nice. 

Soon enough, Kaveh turns off the water and picks up a washcloth. He squirts a little body wash on it and dips it in the water, nudging Alhaitham in the shoulder to get his attention.

“I’m going to wash you off, now,” he warns Alhaitham. 

Once again, Alhaitham nods. He doesn’t care. He knows that Kaveh’s hands are gentle and that he will be cleaned off with caution. 

“You’ve had a hard day,” Kaveh says quietly. “You can rest here with me. I’m here for you no matter what.”

Reassurances are nice. It’s as if his love always knows what to say to calm Alhaitham down. Just a simple ‘Haiyi’ or a whispered ‘I love you, ya amar’ is enough to make him weak in the knees. 

“Even…” he manages to croak out. “Even if I feel weak?” It’s a deep, irrational fear, to think that Kaveh would actually judge him for not being able to keep his bladder in check for an absurdly long time. Alhaitham just needs to hear it. 

Kaveh kisses him on the cheek. “I wouldn’t care if you were the weakest man in the world,” he says. “You’re my Alhaitham. I love you, and I won’t ever judge you for having an accident or saying that you’re ‘weak’.”

When Alhaitham is done being cleaned off, he feels the water shift and the water level rise. Then, something is sitting on him. 

Kaveh.

His boyfriend’s body is dotted with freckles and little adorable marks from previous nights spent with Alhaitham and Alhaitham alone. 

Kaveh shifts slightly against him. “Well, I need to get clean, too,” he says, a blush reddening his face and making Alhaitham fall a little bit in love with him all over again. Kaveh truly was adorable…

Alhaitham feels calm, finally, hugging Kaveh close to him in the comfort of the warm bath. He buries his face into the familiar blonde locks of his boyfriend and sighs deeply as a sinking feeling settles into his gut. 

Despite the fact that he’s doing better now, Alhaitham’s bladder still aches and burns, even though it shouldn’t. 

…Once again, he hopes that the feeling will go away in the morning. 

Chapter Text

To say that Kaveh was worried would be the understatement of the millennium.

Alhaitham was not a man who peed himself. Kaveh had seen his fair share of people having accidents (himself included), but never Alhaitham. His boyfriend, his love- Alhaitham had been vulnerable in front of Kaveh, but never like this. 

When he woke up again, he was disappointed to find that Alhaitham was out of bed so early. This was supposed to be two weeks of relaxation, but Alhaitham had left Kaveh alone in bed. 

Perhaps it was how embarrassed Alhaitham was. Kaveh frowns, sitting up in bed and deciding that this is the time to wake up. 

When he walks into the kitchen, he wraps his arms around Alhaitham from behind. “Good morning, Haiyi,” Kaveh smiles, pressing a kiss to the back of Alhaitham’s head. 

Instead of the expected ‘good morning, Kaveh,’ that he had expected from his beloved, all he gets is a quiet grunt from Alhaitham. 

“…Okay,” Kaveh mumbles, pulling away. He grabs the coffee pot and a mug, beginning to pour himself some coffee. 

Alhaitham doesn’t seem to want to talk right now. That’s fine! Totally fine. Kaveh will manage to get him to talk eventually. But for now, the coffee in his cup is reminding him that he should really empty his bladder before consuming any more liquid. 

Silently, he’s almost grateful. Kaveh almost never can register when his body needs something until it’s so urgent that it’s all he can think about. Without another word to Alhaitham, Kaveh sets his coffee down and walks off to the bathroom. 

The bathroom is quiet, which Kaveh finds solace in while his mind is in overdrive while trying to figure out what Alhaitham is so upset about. Absent-mindedly, he fiddles with his belt buckle and sighs. He would just have to ask Alhairham himself- after he was done peeing, of course. 

But when Kaveh starts to pull down his pants, he hears a panicked knock at the door. Alhaitham bursts in, practically runs past him without even acknowledging that the bathroom was occupied, slamming the door before yanking his own pants down and unleashing a torrent of piss into their toilet.

Kaveh’s need is suddenly forgotten. All desire to pee is replaced by concern for his boyfriend. After all, Alhaitham seemed fine just a minute ago! All the concern comes to a boiling point as Kaveh pulls his pants up and taps Alhaitham on the shoulder.

Alhaitham seems abnormally flushed. Irritated and flushed. With a grimace, he turns around and looks toward Kaveh. This is the third bladder-related incident that he’s had in front of Kaveh, and the normally proud scribe’s ego must have been shattered.

“…Okay, Alhaitham, I’ve been trying to let you sit in silence and stew in your own emotions all morning, but you really need to talk to me. What’s going on?” Kaveh asked, putting his hands on his hips. 

Alhaitham says nothing. He doesn’t even give Kaveh a cough or a sound of any kind. The most Kaveh gets in return for his concern is a nod. 

Annoying, but Kaveh knows how his boyfriend operates. He decides that this is a challenge that he cannot back down from, and he begins to try and get Alhaitham to reveal what is bothering him.

It takes Kaveh about twenty minutes more before he corners Alhaitham, who has sat down on the divan with a book that Kaveh doesn’t care to read the cover of. 

“Alhaitham, you can’t ignore me forever!” Kaveh declares, both annoyed and used to Alhaitham shutting him out like this. He’s only trying to help, but when Alhaitham clams up like this, there’s few things but a determined architect that can make him be truthful. 

“I’m not ignoring you, I’m simply choosing to talk about anything except what you are trying to get me to talk about,” Alhaitham answers blankly. He turns the page of his book and crosses one leg over the other. “Which is nothing, as I am fine.”

Something about the way he crosses his legs makes Kaveh worried again. It hasn’t even been thirty minutes since Alhaitham last went to the bathroom, and now he’s showing signs of already having to pee again. 

With a sigh, Kaveh reaches over and grabs Alhaitham’s book. In return, Alhaitham sends him a nearly unreadable glance. “I was reading that,” he complains. “I’m supposed to be relaxing on my vacation, aren’t I?”

While his reasoning is logical, Kaveh knows better than Alhaitham for once. He can tell that something is off with his boyfriend, and Kaveh would bet everything he owned (which wasn’t very much) that his bladder was still bothering him.

“I’m taking you to the Bimarstan,” Kaveh huffs. “There is no argument you can make to dissuade me. Come on, get up.”

Alhaitham crosses his arms. “A little ache in my bladder isn’t going to kill me, Kaveh. It would be a waste of time to get myself checked out when it’ll go away.”

“You know that I’m not giving up on this,” Kaveh sighs, tugging on Alhaitham’s shirt sleeve. “Come on. I won’t comment on the next horrendous thing you buy for the house if you come without any more complaints.”

And for some archons-forsaken reason, that works. 

The Bimarstan isn’t as busy today. Kaveh shifts in his seat, his body sending faint signals to his mind that his bladder is nearly full. For a second, he looks over at the bathroom and considers getting up, but he can’t POSSIBLY leave Alhaitham when it took him an annoyingly long time to convince him to get checked out!

So Kaveh grabs Alhaitham’s hand, intending to hold it and his bladder until the doctor arrives. 

Alhaitham’s foot taps against the ground anxiously. Kaveh knows he doesn’t like visiting doctors, but this is a necessary evil. When the nurse comes back, Alhaitham will have to leave Kaveh for about 30 minutes and get examined.

“Alhaitham Daneshvar?” A nurse calls Alhaitham’s name. Kaveh lets go of Alhaitham’s hand, smiling and 

Now, Kaveh is distracted. He crosses one leg over the other and begins to worry. 

Alhaigham was surely going to be okay, that was all that mattered. He likely didn’t have anything serious! Kaveh had to remind himself that his anxiety was making him overthink things again. 

A whole 30 minutes pass before Alhaitham comes out again, holding a small bag with antibiotics in it and a red face. One minute of careful prodding later, Alhaitham admits under his breath that he might possibly have a urinary tract infection. 

So Alhaitham has a UTI! It honestly makes sense, considering how random and quick his bathroom breaks have been. Kaveh smiled, grabs his hand, and fuck he forgot to pee again didn’t he.

Kaveh feels his body protest as it sends another wave of desperation through him. His bladder is certainly making itself known now, but they're just about to leave the Bimarstan and go home. 

Alhaitham looks like he just wants to get out of here, so Kaveh makes the painful decision to once again hold his pee. With a comforting squeeze of hand (and a desperate throb of his bladder), Kaveh leads Alhaitham out of the Bimarstan and starts the walk home. 

Walking doesn’t take more than five minutes, considering how close together Sumeru City is. It only feels like an eternity because Kaveh’s mind is preoccupied by how terribly he needs to pee. And to make matters worse, Alhaitham seems to have to go, too. That means that Kaveh will have to surrender the bathroom to him when they get back home. Kaveh would NEVER forgive himself for keeping Alhaitham away from something he so badly needs, even if Kaveh might possibly need it more. 

When they get home, Alhaitham kicks off his shoes and hurries into the bathroom without even noticing the state Kaveh is in. 

Kaveh doesn’t even get a moment of hope as the door to the bathroom is slammed and he’s staggering over to the divan to wait. Just a minute more, he tells himself, and then I can finally pee.

Kaveh’s whole body is trembling, desperate for the slightest release. He doesn’t care if Alhaitham might appear from the bathroom suddenly, all he needs to do is relieve that terrible ache in his bladder. Desperate, Kaveh slips a hand into his pants to try and pinch his urethra closed. Honestly, it might’ve worked if he had a penis. All he can do is rub his clit and beg for himself to stop leaking before his desperation is visible. 

It feels good, but Kaveh will never admit that. Kaveh’s pants are surely damp around his crotch now. If anything, it’s making his situation worse. His hand is just smearing around any liquid that hasn’t fully seeped into his pants by now- Kaveh knows how desperate he looks. 

Again, Kaveh’s bladder throbs painfully. It spasms, warning him once more that he cannot wait any longer. Kaveh almost tears up from how hard it is to hold. All he wants, all he needs is to pee and pee until there’s no urine left in his body.

And in the midst of all of his desperation, Kaveh still manages to hear the ‘click’ of the bathroom door opening. 

His blood runs cold. 

If Alhaitham sees this, Kaveh will absolutely die on the spot. He’ll never recover from having done such a pathetic thing in front of his boyfriend. 

Kaveh wonders if this is how Alhaitham felt, how desperate and embarrassed he must have been since he’d wet himself TWICE.

But now, the bathroom is open. All Kaveh has to do is walk about ten steps, and then he can finally pee. Just ten steps that he’s made plenty of times before when he was much less desperate, ten steps that Kaveh knew like he knew the back of his hand. 

The first step is almost agony. Not even close to halfway, Kaveh is almost about to break. More leaks and spurts of warm urine soak his pants in a way that makes Kaveh desperately wish to disappear right then and there. 

The second step is equally as bad. This time, Kaveh has to grab onto the bed for support. Pee is practically streaming out of him, and he can do nothing about it.  

The third and final step Kaveh takes is when he’s longer able to control himself. Attempting to hide his shame, Kaveh buries his face in the divan and feels his bladder burst while he fails to walk. 

Pee sprays out of him like a waterfall. Kaveh gasps, almost letting his knees buckle out under him. It’s all he’s ever needed and all Kaveh can think about now: how quickly his bladder is emptying onto the floor and ruining the pants he paid so much for. 

Relief practically erupts in Kaveh’s heart. He has never felt better than now. He smiles. Kaveh is smiling from how good it feels to pee himself, and that might be the most embarrassing thing he’d ever realized. 

When his bladder is finally, finally empty, Kaveh looks up from his compromising situation and notices that he’s no longer alone. 

“…Kaveh…”

Once again, Kaveh’s blood runs colder than Shneznaya’s winters. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Alhaitham was watching him. 

On top of all of the discomfort and emotion Kaveh feels, he suddenly bursts into tears. 

Alhaitham had seen it all. He was witness to Kaveh’s ultimate shame- how could he ever love someone as pathetic as a man who wet his pants after having multiple opportunities to go pee?! 

Kaveh’s anxious thoughts begin to swarm his mind. Pathetic, disgusting, weak. Everything around him begins to blur. The urine on the floor is beginning to cool and it’s all Kaveh can feel on his skin- wet, uncomfortable, cold, pathetic, disgusting, weak. 

Alhaitham suddenly wraps his arms around Kaveh from behind, pulling him out of the anxious spiral he’s trapped in. 

This grounds him, and Kaveh looks up.

A pair of arms are trying to hold him close while not stepping in the puddle of piss, embracing Kaveh despite how horrible and disgusting he feels. 

Alhaitham.

Faintly, Kaveh hears his boyfriend whisper to him. 

“It’s okay… you tried your best. Nobody saw, you’re okay,” Alhaitham whispers. He presses a kiss to the back of Kaveh’s neck and gently guides him out of his accident. “I won’t say anything to anybody. Just relax and let me take care of it.”

Oddly enough, it’s the exact thing that he needs to hear right now. 

Kaveh was always the one giving comfort to others, mainly Alhaitham when he needed it. But in his vulnerable state, Kaveh can’t help but let himself be comforted by the only man who he feels safe to be weak around. 

Alhaitham doesn’t ask Kaveh why he was so careless, he just hums and takes Kaveh to the bathroom to clean up. When Kaveh is sat down on the toilet (which only serves as a reminder to Kaveh that he is a failure of a man and pathetic through and through), Alhaitham gently pulls down his pants. 

His pee-stained boxers are cold and uncomfortable against his thighs. Kaveh cringes. This is so uncomfortable, why couldn’t he have held it in just a little bit longer?! 

“You should have told me you were worse off than I was,” Alhaitham quietly scolds him. The guilt in Kaveh’s heart is strong- why didn’t he just tell Alhaitham? He might’ve been uncomfortable, for sure, but logic would reveal that Alhaitham could have waited long enough for Kaveh to take a turn in the bathroom. 

“You’re sick, Haitham,” Kaveh mumbles, wiping himself down with a nearby washcloth. “I didn’t want to make you wait when you had to go, too.”

Alhaitham shakes his head. “Did it ever occur to you that I would’ve waited for you? That I could’ve waited for you?” His voice is almost sharp, like he’s frustrated with Kaveh for having the same lapse in judgement he did just last night. 

“I- it’s not the same thing, you’re sick,” Kaveh tries again, looking sad. “You need a bathroom more than I do.”

“That’s not the point, Kaveh,” Alhaitham frowns. “And I’m not sick, I have a minor infection that will go away with time and antibiotics.” He takes the washcloth from Kaveh and runs it under water from the sink

It might be the residual embarrassment and intense emotions he’s feeling, but Kaveh can’t help but feel defensive over the way Alhaitham is talking to him, like he’s stupid for trying to put someone else above him.

With a sigh, Alhaitham looks into Kaveh’s eyes and looks almost disappointed. “You’re still too self-sacrificial for your own good.”

And that annoys Kaveh more than he thought it would. Even though they’re dating, Alhaitham kept his trait of being about to get under his skin without trying to. 

Kaveh narrows his eyes. “So you’re mad at me for letting you go first? I was trying to help, Alhaitham.”

Alhaitham doesn’t react much. “I never said that I was mad at you. I just said that you’re too self-sacrificial. It means what it means: you need to learn that you don’t have to suffer because others want something.”

There’s probably no reason for it, but Kaveh gets angry about that. “Are you judging me for helping you?” He asks, a little snippier than he meant to sound. 

Alhaitham shakes his head tiredly. “I’m not judging you. All I’m saying is that I am here to take care of you, like you take care of me. It’s okay to be weak.”

Weak?

His other words fall upon deaf ears- all Kaveh can hear is how much better Alhaitham is than him, how he would’ve let Kaveh go first and isn’t he so STUPID for being selfless?!

“Fine! Fine, then, Alhaitham,” Kaveh snaps, standing up. “You want to take care of this so badly? Then go ahead! Have some time to think about how pathetic I am and come find me, since I’m such a mess.”

With little thought, Kaveh pulls his pants and boxers off fully and storms out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. If Alhaitham is just going to accuse him of being pathetic and weak, then he was going to forget about that and make himself feel better. 

He puts on a pair of clean pants and storms out of the house. The only thing that Kaveh knows for sure right now is that he needs a drink to forget about all of this.