Archive of Our Own ^beta

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a ray of sun punctures through the window and straight into Ian's eyes waking him. He slowly opens his eyes, after adjusting to his surroundings he sits up, he looks around his room he shares with his two younger brothers.

Liam's bed is empty, presumably he is with Fiona or Debbie, the blankets on Carl's bed are on the floor, revealing the empty mattress. Ian takes a deep breathe before standing up out of bed and walking downstairs.

Downstairs he is greeted by the usual Gallagher morning madness, Debbie, Jimmy and Fiona making breakfast, Carl trying to microwave his new avengers figurine jimmy bought just a week ago, and Liam sitting in his high chair observing the world.

Ian is greeted by the Gallagher family, he grabs a slice of toast from the toaster, lightly coats it with butter and shoves it into his mouth holding it with his teeth, with his now free hand he hits carl on the back of the head "Hey!" Carl shouts as a response, Ian has swallowed the toast in his mouth and is holding the remaining piece. "no microwaving shit that's not supposed to be in a microwave" Ian says while grabbing the figurine out of the microwave and tossing it onto the counter. carl rolls his eyes at Ian before admitting defeat and taking his seat at the table for breakfast. "right I'm off" Ian says to no one in particular "alright be home for dinner please" Fiona responds as Ian is walking out the door, Ian nods in acknowledgment to Fiona.

he arrives at the Kash and Grab, placing his stuff down behind the counter and slouching into his chair, suddenly mickey appears from no where "wow aren't we bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning" mickey says with more than just a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Ian had always liked mickey, he wasn't sure why, he was mostly an asshole. but something about him intrigued Ian in a way he couldn't describe. "just trying to get through the day" Ian replied glancing up at mickey. just as mickey is about to reply Kash enters from the storage room "ah Ian!, just the guy i needed, would you come help me in the uh... storage room... for a moment?" mickey rolls his eyes at Kash's presence. "sure" Ian says choosing to ignore mickeys very noticeable disgust "keep your tits on" Ian whispers to mickey as he walks past him and towards the storage room

Mickey watches the two enter the storage room, his eyes narrowing with anger as he hears the door click locked. everyone knew what 'help in the storage room' meant and mickey hated it. he didn't know why. he couldn't care less about Ian or Kash and was only working at the store for some extra cash. but knowing kash was getting his way with a 15 year old (?) boy pissed mickey off.

20 minutes later Ian emerged from the storage room his head tilted down, leaving Kash in there. "How's your fuck buddy" mickey says following Ian behind the register "what" Ian replies "don't be a fucking pussy, come on if you gonna get ass fucked in the storage room you could at least give me some warning" Mickey replies, Ian has sat down on his chair giving mickey a height advantage that he didn't before "I'm not getting ass fucked in the storage room" Ian says mocking mickeys earlier comment "so your doing the fucking? how embarrassing for Kash" Mickey snaps back leaning over the ginger boy "what do you want" Ian says looking up towards mickey, and when he does they both fall silent, staring at each other for a little longer than normal, neither mean for the interaction to happen but it does. after what feels like years has gone by mickey breaks the silence with a stuttered sentence "uh... n-nothing never mind" he says walking back towards the door and standing Infront of it, avoiding glancing in Ian's direction at all, but its hard not to look once Ian has his nose back in whatever comic he is reading this week, without thinking mickey begins to stare at Ian. His mind is screaming at him to stop but he cant, and he doesn't know why. something about the way Ian's hair tosses just slightly into his eyes and his nose scrunches when he smiles at his comic intrigues mickey to keep staring.

the door to the store opens and a group of teenage boys roll in, they push past mickey and go straight for the energy drinks and chips, a few minutes later they walk over to the counter and pile their items on "this all?" Ian says looking down at the new pile of junk on the counter "yeah, make it quick" the boy at the front of the group replies, Ian scans their items and tells them their total "23.50", the boys reach into their pockets and pile handfuls of coins and one dollar bills onto the counter, Ian picks it up and counts it, feeling the eyes of the boys laser into his skull as he counts. "your 4 dollars short" Ian says looking up at them "oh so what" a boy off to the left says "you need to give me four more dollars" the change of tone in the interaction peaks mickeys interest and he tunes into what they are saying "what are you gonna do about it?" the boys all glare at Ian "are you gonna beat us up?" a boy from the back of the group says in a mocking tone, causing a chain reaction of laughter from the group "you cant leave without paying your total" Ian says ignoring the boys earlier comment "stop fucking around pal" the boy at the front speaks again as he reaches over the counter and grabs Ian's collar lifting him slightly onto the balls of is feet "that's enough" the rest of the group of boys turn around to see mickey "let him go." mickey states "or what?" the boy replies "or ill shoot your fucking brains out" mickey says reaching for his gun and aiming it at the boy "oh shit" the boy replies, the rest of the group all share similar phrases as they hustle out of the store, the boy holding Ian drops him and Ian slouches into his chair rubbing his chest where the boy was holding him, the group of boys run out of the store.

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"you alright?" Mickey says trying to seem as careless as possible "y-yeah" Ian replies slightly surprised at mickeys actions, Ian watches as mickey lights a cigarette from his pockets and places it between his lips, mickey looks up to see Ian staring at him "the fuck do you want?"
"nothing" Ian says looking away, but Mickey continues to look at Ian. "tell me something?" Mickey says before blowing smoke into the air "yeah?" Ian replies looking back at Mickey "so your like gay right?" mickey says as nonchalant as possible, Ian thinks for a moment before deciding to just be honest "yeah what?" Ian replies "nothing, just wondering" Mickey says looking everywhere in the store except for at Ian. "why'd you wanna know?" Ian pressures. "i don't know i just..." mickey pauses for a moment, blowing smoke into the air again "i don't know"

"alright" Ian replies standing up and walking over to mickey
"what"
"your recent infatuation with my gayness wouldn't have anything to do with you would it?"
"firstly who used words like 'infatuation' and secondly no."
"if you say so" Ian says walking away from mickey and over to some shelves with boxes beside them, he pulls a pocket knife from his back pockets and carves into one of the boxes opening it, he stocks the shelves.
"well" mickey says reopening the conversation
Ian looks up at him shocked

mickey lets out a anxious sigh "maybe?"
Ian scoffs slightly "maybe?" Ian says questioning Mickey
"No" Mickey continues trying to sound decisive but failing miserably
"No?" Ian copies Mickey again with a slightly mocking tone.
Mickey look down at his shoes and takes a deep breath "yeah?" he continues looking over to Ian
Ian laughs slightly "omg dude its not that hard!"
"shut up" mickey says finishing the conversation
Ian turns back to the shelf and keeps unpacking

a few moment of silence pass before mickey speaks again
"well like how did you know?"
"know..?" Ian replies.
"that you were gay dumbass" Mickey spits out his words.
"uhhh fucked a dude and liked it?" Ian replies smiling to himself with a slight laugh
"funny." Mickey replies unamused
"but true" Ian says taking his attention away from the stock for a moment to look at Mickey
"so should i fuck a dude" Mickey says a little more confidently then he feels.
"if you want" Ian turns back towards the shelves and keeps stocking
Mickey pauses "do i want?" he directs his comment to the world more than just Ian.
"i don't know?! I'm not you!" Ian bursts out slightly frustrated but mostly amused.
"dammit" Mickey ends the conversation.

Mickey watches Ian stocking the shelves, he slowly moves up the shelves and when he gets to the top one he lifts onto his toes, lifting his shirt slightly Mickey watches him, scanning his body up and down

without turning around mickey finds the key in the door with his left hand and turns it, locking the store
he takes a deep breath

"fuck it" he says before charging over to Ian and pushing him into the wall kissing him
at first Ian is shocked but once adjusted leans into Mickey, just as Mickey is reaching for Ian's belt they hear a door from the back open

"hey guys i got the-"
the room falls silent as mickey jumps away from Ian
"uh" Kash continues
Ian gathers himself before trying to play the situation off
"what did you get?"
Ian refers to the box in Kash's hand
"oh the uh- new stock for the back shelf... ill just put it over there"
kash looks both boys up and down before walking over to the back shelf
mickey whispers to Ian " i swear to fucking god if he says anything ill-"
"chill." Ian replies brushing his hand through his hair and fixing his shirt
as Ian walking back over to the counter he whispers to mickey "come over to mine after work.. if you want"

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Mickey tries to hide how flustered he is, he walks back over to the door and stands next to it staring straight ahead, he can feel Ian's eyes on him.

The next few hours roll along like years, but finally its time to close the store, they both leave after locking up. Ian begins walking back towards his house.
After taking a few steps Ian stops and turns around looking back at Mickey "ya coming?" he says with a sight smirk.

Mickey looks around before running to catch up to Ian, and they begin walking home

Its mostly silent on the way back to the Gallagher house, both boys match each other grumble for grumble, avoiding eye contact. They open the front door and find Frank asleep on the couch, Fiona, Jimmy and Debbie making dinner and Carl playing with Liam.

"Hey" Fiona yells in response to the door opening and closing
"hey" Ian replies as Fiona walks over to them
"i made dinner, come get some" Fiona directs her words to both Ian and Mickey
"uh in a minute Mickeys just grabbing something" Ian replies beginning to walk up stairs to avoid further comments from Fiona, or any of the Gallaghers
the boys walk upstairs and into Ian's room.

They both walk into the room, Mickey glances around at the multiple beds, deciphering which belongs to which Gallagher.
"Got a lot of Gallaghers in one room" Mickey says breaking the silence between them
"Yeah well, Debbie gets her own cause she's a girl"
"Lip and Fiona took the older sibling card leaving me with the other two shitheads" Ian replies

The tension in the room softens as they warm up to each other. Ian sits down on his bed, "do you really think you could be gay?" Ian says causing Mickey to almost flinch at the word
"I don't think that's the right word" Mickey says quietly, afraid to admit it.
"Well, there's a long list of words you could pick" Ian replies laughing a little.
"Fuck that stupid fucking liberal shit" Mickey snaps back, laughing to lighten his harsh tone.

"Well" Ian continues, "Only one way to find out" Mickey laughs "funny, Gallagher, funny", Mickey smiles, dropping his head to try and hide it. "how bout we just talk?" Mickey says after a moment. "talk?" Ian replies
"Yeah like" Mickey pauses and sits down on the bed next to Ian before continuing "So, i fuck girls and that's cool, so why do i wanna fuck guys" Mickey finishes his sentence with a sharp exhale.

Ian thinks about his response before speaking "fuck man idk"
"you don't feel like that?" Mickey questions
"never" Ian replies
Mickey's head snaps to him "you've never fucked a chick?!" Mickeys face covered in shock.
Without missing a beat Ian replies "Nope"
Ian laughs a little at the surprise on Mickeys face. Mickeys thoughts race, he's never met someone who makes him feel this way, let alone a guy! Let alone a Gallagher?!
Mickey reopens the conversation, his mind is full of questions and after careful consideration he picks just one. "Ever think about it?"
Ian sighs adjusting his position on the bed "not really"
"not even a little bit?" Mickey shoots back
"no... i guess not" Ian replies becoming increasingly uncomfortable
"that's fucking crazy man" Mickey says relaxing his entire body, which in return makes Ian feel calmer, Mickeys relaxed tone has always helped Ian when he was under stress or having a bad day.

Ian decides to keep talking "I just always knew i didn't like girls"
Mickey lets out a deep breath "Well i always thought i did till-"
"till?" Ian questions
"never mind" Mickey says trying to back track
" no tell meee" Ian says teasing Mickey just a little
"Never" Mickey says dismissing the boy next to him
"come on" Ian pushes.

Mickey pauses then takes a deep breath, "You cant fucking judge me, or tell anybody because i swear to god i will take you to an early grave-" Mickey threatens, His heart beginning to quicken and his breathing becomes uneven. "yes yes just tell me" Ian replies impatiently.
After another long pause and Mickey stuttering over his choice of words he speaks, "i think you're the first dude i ever liked" Ian paused, suddenly the conversation isn't so funny anymore. "w-what, really?" Ian stutters, shocked and unsure of how to react. He always had a suspicion Mickey liked him, but for Mickey to admit something like this is a first. Mickey stares at his shoes not saying another word.

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Neither boys have any idea what to say, before either of them can break the silence Fiona charges through the door
"Hey! Dinners getting cold come down please."
She turns to Mickey "your welcome to stay if you like Mickey"
Mickey grunts in acknowledgment to Fiona, Fiona smiles and shuts the door.

Ian and Mickey wait for the sounds of feet on the stairs before speaking "I should get going" Mickey says standing up
"Lets talk tomorrow" Ian says with a faint smile.

Mickey leaves quickly out the door, soon after Ian hears the familiar sounds of their front door opening, then shutting. The sound of the door slamming shut felt harsher and louder, almost deafening to Ian.

Ian stands there in the middle of his room, his eyes fixed on the door Infront of him.
But his mind and thoughts are elsewhere.

Mickey... likes him?
The thought made his stomach ache and his head pound with confusion.

Ian's thoughts flicked back to Kash, he couldn't stop seeing Kash, or could he?
Ian thought about his boss, the man who owned the store and the man who had been seeing him since he was 14, and suddenly, for the first time, he saw the truth.

He felt the pit in his stomach grow, his bones seemed to weaken as he grabbed onto the edge of the bed for support.
It was too much, Mickey confessing his feelings, and his new found perspective on his boss.

His face turned to anger and confusion as if there was somebody there to see it.
His skin crawled as he remembered all the times Lip told him that Kash was a weirdo, and the times Mickey had snarled and snapped at Kash for his behavior.

Maybe they were right? Maybe Kash was using him? Ian shook his head, physically trying to get rid of the thoughts. But once he stilled, only one person was left.

Mickey.

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The next morning Mickey awoke with a headache, pulsing behind his left eye. He had only one moment of peace before the truth of the night before came crashing down on him.

He was so confused. He wanted to push Ian away and never think about this stupid topic ever again.
So that's what he decided he would do.

Mickey arrived at the Kash and grab first that day, he had thought about calling in sick or just not coming but he decided against it.
His mind wanted him to quit his job, block Ian out and forget it ever happened. But his heart wouldn't let him.

Mickey breath caught in his throat when Ian walked through the door. They both stopped dead in their tracks and stared at each other blankly.
'Stick to the plan' Mickey thought.

But seeing Ian here, his red hair tossed slightly In front of his eyes, his eyes that felt like tiny little worlds placed neatly in their sockets and his slight height advantage on Mickey made Mickey go insane.

He couldn't control himself around Gallagher and so all of the sudden the plan went out the window as both boys collapsed into each others lips.

They could read each other, they knew each other.
Mickeys hands explored up Ian's torso.
While still attacking Mickeys lips, Ian grabbed him by the belt loops and pulled him to the back row of shelves before slamming them both into them.

Mickeys thoughts completely stopped.

Ian suddenly leapt away from Mickey
"What?" Mickey stuttered out

Ian placed a single finger to his own lips, signaling Mickey to shut up.

A rustle was heard by both boys over the other side of the store.
With a single look both boys understood their plan.

Ian walked casually to the front of the store, where he found Kash.
"Ian!" Kash exclaimed stepping towards him, "I couldn't reach you last night?!"
"Oh uh" Ian scrambled over his words, thinking of an excuse "My phone was turned off... sorry"

Kash scanned the boy up and down
"Alright.." Kash replied, a slight frown painted on his face.

Ian quickly made his way behind the counter and sat down, letting out a sigh as he placed himself in the chair.

Moments later Mickey emerged, strategically coming from the opposite way that Ian had moments earlier.

Kash and Mickey exchanged threatening glares.

Kash began walking towards the storage room, but before going inside he looked back at the boys, looking them both up and down one by one before opening the door and walking inside.

Both boys let out a relived sigh.

"That was close" Ian said, his voice still low, weary of the close proximity of the store to the storage room.

"Yeah, what a prick" Mickey said, lighting a cigarette and placing it between his lips

Ian chuckled slightly at the boys comment.

"Guess we'll have to find somewhere more private" Mickey said with a wink in Ian's direction

Ian smiled like an idiot

"Sound good, Gallagher?" Mickey smirked.

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Ian tried to hide how flustered he was
'Gallagher' he repeated over and over again in his head.
He had heard the name a lot but something was different when it came out of Mickeys mouth. Like it was just Ian's name, No connection to Frank or Monica. No comparison to Lip or Fiona.

Just himself.

He smiled to himself before coming back to reality, where he set up the register for the day and sat down in his chair.

20 minutes later Ian looked up to see Mickeys eyes lasering through him "What?" Ian giggled
"Nothin'" Mickey replied, keeping his eyes locked on Ian's. Mickeys new confidence surprised Ian, but he wasn't complaining.

Mickey pushed himself off the wall he had been holding up and casually walked over to Ian peering at the storage room door, confirming it was closed on the way.

"Hey" Mickey said as he arrived by Ian's side
"Hey" Ian replied with a smirk. Mickey let out a slight scoff before pulling the boy out of his seat and onto his lips.

Ian was stunned still for a moment before relaxing into Mickey once again
"What happened to somewhere private?" Ian said between kisses

"This is more fun isn't it?" Mickey replied with a grin from ear to ear.

With that Ian grabbed Mickey by his collar and pulled him to the very back of the store, with a harsh shove Ian threw Mickey against the back wall.
Ian paused and looked the boy up and down, from his legs, to his torso, up his neck before his eyes planted on the boys face where he was met with a smirk.

Ian wasted no time throwing himself to Mickey, once comfortable they both slowed down, enjoying every second, knowing they'd have to wrap it up soon

They just didn't know how soon.

Out of the corner of Ian's eye he spotted a man standing 3 feet away from them. His mind slowly came back reality, hoping and praying to every god there is that it wasn't who he thought it was.

He hoped it was his imagination.

He slowly detached himself from Mickey who was still oblivious.
Ian and Mickey turned towards the man slowly and by Ian's worst nightmare it was Kash.

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the room dropped silent.

"W-we u-uh" Ian began stuttering out before giving up with a quiet sigh.
He rolled his shoulders anxiously and his posture slouched, trying to hide behind an invisible wall.

"You what?" Kash replies anger growing on his face.
"Well we just-" Mickey chimes in his thoughts going a million miles an hour, trying to land on one excuse.

Kash takes a deep breath, before continuing

"I do not pay you guys to do this in my store!" Kashes voice grows louder and angrier with every word
"Now both of you, get back to your jobs. We will talk about this later" Kash says his voice returning to its lower volume but maintaining his harsh tone.
Kash turns around a begins walking away.

"We both know that's not what this is about!" Ian spits out, surprised at his own words

"Excuse me?" Kash replies, turning back around to face the boys again.

"You heard me! Your just mad cause i'm getting with someone else" Ian replies, his voice growing, scaring whatever customers they had in the store out.

Ian stares at Kash, Mickey still standing frozen behind him, they both wait for Kash's reaction.

"Get out of my store."

"What?" Ian replies his brow dropping

"Get. Out." Kash practically spits on the boy.

Ian and Mickey walk out of the store side by side, They collapse outside together.

"Mickey I'm so sorry he-" Ian begins

"Save it." Mickey states
"I knew this was an awful idea, Gallagher"

There's that name again, although this time is layered with something knew, almost a diversion. A way to dance around anything personal to Ian. A way for Mickey to separate himself from the boy in front of him

"Mickey please-"

"I can't do this." Mickey said, turning around, his head low and feet moving fast down the street.
Before Ian can respond Mickey has walked halfway down the street and turned the corner, completely out of sight from Ian, but not out of mind.

Ian felt a drop of water fall on to his cheek. He hadn't notice until now, but sometime in the last 5 minutes, he began crying.
He wiped the tear from his face quickly, looking around at the empty street in front of him.

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Mickey turned the corner, knowing he could no longer be seen by Ian

He ran.

He didn't know where he was going, but he was going. His legs couldn't keep up with his mind, and the pace he wanted them to go.
The longer he ran the clearer his head got, the pain in his chest and legs clouded his thoughts. He ran for so long, without a care in the world where he was going that suddenly he ran into an alley that looked familiar... too familiar.

"Shit" Mickey said as he came to an abrupt stop.
The alley was dark and cold, just as he remembered it.
Just as he turned to leave a harsh voice crept up beside him

"Funny seeing you here, Milkovich"

"Please Joe, i didn't mean to end up here" Mickey said pleading with the man

"Of course you didn't, but you did."

"Please Joe, whatever my dad has done, ill fix it. Please Joe, Please!" Mickeys voice trembled as he spoke, fearing his fate.

"Oh your dad has fucked up bad this time Milkovich, and since he can't stay out of jail long enough to pay up, you will."

Before Mickey can reply he feels a sharp pain in his left side, he looks down and sees something red seeping through his shirt, he grabs it in response and winces at the pressure.
He looks to his left to see Joe standing next to him, knife in hand, covered with the same red.

"Don't worry Milkovich, i wont hit any organs, not this time at least."

That's the last thing Mickey heard before he blacked out.

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Ian arrived home, before opening the front door he took a long deep breath, wiping any remaining tears from his eyes.

He slowly turned the door handle and walked into his familiar kitchen.

"Hey" He heard a bellow from over by the fridge
Ian nodded in acknowledgment, worried that if he tried to speak the tears would start flowing again.

"I got a casserole from Fi for dinner, come eat"
Ian thought about sitting around the dinner table with his family, The usual Gallagher hustle and bustle that came with every meal they shared.

It made his head hurt.

Ian simply walked up the stares, went into his room, and lay in his bed. He shut his eyes tight, hoping that if he tried hard enough it would squeeze this awful day out of his brain.

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Mickeys face ached, blood seeping down and into his vision, wiping the red liquid from his eyes and grabbing at the wound on the left side of his body, he chose not to assess what was hurt, he knew that looking down at his throbbing legs would only make it hurt more. So he stood up, ignoring his vision fading slightly and the sharp bolt of pressure that traveled from his shoulder to his wrist. He stumbled out of the alley way and began running. The moment his legs picked up speed his brain turned off. The adrenaline rushed through his body, fueling his legs. He had never really cared if he lived or died, but right now, the most important thing was living.

the sound of a car alarm jolted Mickey back into reality, running down his very familiar street, his vision became more tunneled and blurry, he did not stop though. He only picked up the pace of his legs. He thought back to a couple weeks ago, before he had confessed to Ian, and even before that. Back to when he didn't work at the Kash and Grab. He thought about how if that Mickey could see him now. He would probably jump him. Mickey laughed at the thought, even though the situation was very unfunny. His laughing created a chain reaction of pain down his left side, he stopped laughing very quickly and instead bit down on his bottom lip, silencing his cries. Only a little further.

He ran straight past his own familiar front yard. The one he had spent countless hours running around in, practicing shooting with his dad, the fence he hopped one too many times, it was now falling down. He thought about how inside that house was his father. The man who should be in Mickeys place right now, but isn't. He thought about his sister, Mandy, who was always smarter, better looking, brighter, happier, than himself.

His stomps on the ground grew louder, no longer just running, but running for his life. His pace did not slow until he halted right in front of the Gallaghers front door and only then did he pause. He looked at the door in front of him, his vision clearing and his breath quickening.

He knocked once.
He knocked twice.
He knocked-

"Oh" he muttered at the door gracefully swung open with a creek and there in the frame stood Ian.

"Oh my god what-" Ian began speaking
looking Mickey up and down, only then did Mickey realise he probably looked fucking psycho running down the street covered in blood, laughing to himself.

Mickey interrupted Ian
"I'm sorry, Ian. I- I don't understand any of this stuff. its all new and weird and i don't get it, maybe ill never understand it. But what i do know is that i fucking-" Mickey choked on his words, tears mixing with the blood along his cheeks. "I fucking- want- you." Mickey spat out staring at Ian who was looking back at him like he was a ghost

Ian didn't say anything, he grabbed mickey by his blood stained collar and pulled him in. Kissing him for what felt like hours. His previously frozen body, melted under the pressure of Mickeys skin.

"You can-" Ian began matching Mickey sob for sob "You can take, as long as you need"

Ian pulled Mickey into his embrace.
After a long pause Ian slowly released Mickey, looking the boy up and down, noticing the huge wounds in his side, the blood trickling down his face and legs.

"Please tell me what happened" Ian muttered pulling Mickey inside.
Mickey nodded in response and followed Ian to the couch where he sat. Ian moved quickly to their kitchen, grabbing towels, bandages and anything else he could find. He threw the items onto the couch next to Mickey, then sat down, immediately tending to Mickeys wounds.
"Ill have to grab some stuff from Fiona later, but this will do for now" Ian said smiling at Mickey

"Now- tell me who the fuck did this."