Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Buck grabs the rolling pin, fearing for his life, and his career.

It’s his second week babysitting for the Diaz household and somehow, an intruder has managed to jimmy open the front door. Buck is here to clean up the breakfast dishes. Why is he being punished by a break-and-enter at ten in the morning?

It can’t be Christopher because Buck dropped him off at school an hour ago. And how was a first-grader going to take an LA bus all by himself without altering at least three different adults?

It can’t be Mrs Diaz (Shannon, as she had insisted on being called) because she left for the airport two hours ago, after intensely hugging Christopher goodbye. Buck had given them their privacy, busying himself with putting away breakfast dishes, but his heart had still clenched at Shannon’s trembling voice. 

Texas wasn’t that far, she reassured, pressing her face against Christopher’s curls. And she would be coming back very soon, before Chris could even notice that she left. 

What Shannon didn’t say is that her mother is terminally ill. She also didn’t say that it they would probably reunite sooner than he thought. When Shannon had interviewed him for the position, she explained that she couldn’t guarantee how long Buck would have the babysitting job for. It’s likely that her mother will pass away before the New Year begins and Christopher will have to come down to Texas with his father, in which case Buck will not be needed.

Buck considers the possibility that it could be Mr Diaz at the door. But that doesn’t make sense because Mr Diaz was supposed to fly in from Texas last night, not this morning. And surely, Shannon would have mentioned it if he was coming home today. 

Buck and Chris had even worked on making a card–Buck, mostly on glitter supervision. Chris, beyond excited that his father would finally be in the same state as him after being away for several months on important company business. From what Buck gathered, the whole Diaz family was relieved that Mr Diaz had secured a permanent, benefit-ridden position in the LA branch of his company.

Maybe that will distract them from the devastation they’ll feel when they come home to all their possessions burgled. 

“Woah!” the intruder exclaims, holding his hands up in surrender. “What are you doing?” 

“What are you doing?” Buck retorts, poking the intruder's firm chest with the end of the rolling pin. 

He’s almost as tall as Buck, but that’s about as far as similarities go. This intruder is brown-eyed. The sort of brown-eyed that makes Buck think of a doe-eyed deer curled up under the warm sun. The sort of brown-eyed that reminds Buck of drizzled syrup on pancakes, and chocolate buttons on cupcakes, and the trees he used to climb to find solace. 

Which is so inappropriate, because this man is about to rob him blind.

The intruder huffs, exasperated by Buck’s intense stare. Which Buck finds super rude, because he’s not the one breaking into a house. 

“I live here! Who are you?” Mr Diaz asks, bewildered at Buck’s presence in his home. He drops his arms and crosses them over his chest, waiting for an answer. 

Oh.

Oh.

This is Mr Diaz. 

Buck can’t help but notice that his biceps strain against the navy blue sleeves of his t-shirt, and if he's being honest, he wants to bite into arms until he hits the bone. He wants to trace the rivers of veins twisting through Mr Diaz’s forearms, wants to press his lips to the pulse point of his wrist. Buck wants him. Really, really, wants him. 

Buck doesn’t know where to fix his gaze–on his broad shoulders, or his firm chest, or his big hands that could pry the hinge of Buck’s jaw, open, open, wide. Buck doesn’t want to open his mouth, because he doesn’t trust the sound he’ll make. He’s so devastatingly handsome. He’s an ache that Buck won’t be able to sweat out, won’t ever dream of letting fade away.

But first and foremost, he’s Buck’s boss.

“The new babysitter”, Mr Diaz realises, as he gently takes the rolling pin out of Buck’s hands. He places it on back on the counter, and then he places his hands on his hips. The action only emphasises his perfect figure—which Buck should really stop thinking about. 

“Hi, Evan. Sorry we didn’t meet earlier. I know I was supposed to be here last night, but flights out of Texas were delayed for God knows what reason”. Mr Diaz shakes his head, less than impressed. Typical Texas , his tired eyes seem to say.

“The earliest plane I could get on was this morning. I would’ve called you but I fell asleep in the Uber and then I thought no one would be home–” Mr Diaz runs a hand through his hair, thinking. “You were really going to hit me with a rolling pin?”

“No!” Buck squeaks, lying. He might have. If he wasn’t faced with the most gorgeous man God could throw his way.  

“Ok”, Mr Diaz nods. There’s a slight amused twitch to his lips as he flits his eyes over Buck’s nervous face. That makes things so much worse for Buck, because now he’s looking at Mr Diaz’s lips, and his mustache. And now he’s thinking about how the scruff of hair might feel against his cheek, or his inner thighs–

“Let’s try this again”. Mr Diaz clears his throat for effect and holds out his hand. “Hi, I’m Eddie, I legally own this property”. 

Buck takes his hand, shaking it lightly. 

“Hi, I’m Buck, I don’t use rolling pins violently”.

Eddie’s hand is warm. And it’s soft. And it’s so big. His tanned fingers are so long, they drape over the base of Buck’s wrist, and Buck hopes Eddie can’t feel his pulse jack hammering away. 

“That’s great, Buck”. Eddie lets go of Buck’s hand and steps back, looking at the half-empty kitchen sink. “I’ll finish this up. And I’ll pick Chris up from school”. He offers a half-smile, then claps Buck on the shoulder as he walks away. See you tomorrow”.

To apologise for all the trouble he caused, Buck washes the dishes anyway. And then he makes a stack of pancakes, keeping extra quiet as the house echoes with Eddie’s snores. 

Chapter Text

For the rest of his first month in the Diaz household, Buck remains incredibly cautious around Eddie. Mostly because he can’t get a read on the man. 

After their initial meeting, Buck had gone home to find an email from Eddie in his inbox. 

It was detailed, to say the least. 

Eddie had outlined everything for Buck, from his workplace contact, to the list of nutritious snacks that Chris can have after school. If Eddie has a half day, meaning he will finish work before 1, then he will pick Chris up, no exceptions. Buck will not be needed on weekends either, unless specifically requested. Buck is not expected to do any housework, but it would be appreciated if he could reinforce pack-up time with Chris. If there is an instance where Buck needs to stay overnight, he will be paid in double. And so on, the email goes. 

For a while, that is the most communication that takes place between the two of them.

Eddie seems to be very serious, and very focused on his work. He leaves around eight in the morning, after doing Chris’s morning stretches with him. All Buck gets is a light smile and nod of acknowledgement. If there’s anything important that needs to be done, or Buck needs to know, Eddie leaves a note on the counter with thorough information.

And Buck knows he’s losing it, because he traces his fingers over Eddie’s handwriting like the ink will tell him secrets. He wonders when Eddie writes the notes, or if he ever re-writes them. When he writes, does he picture Buck at all? Because Buck pictures Eddie all the time. 

He pictures what Eddie looks like early in the morning, putting himself together for the day. He pictures Eddie’s hair wet, steam clinging to him after his shower, as he towels himself dry. He pictures the droplets of water running down Eddie’s neck, pooling at his collarbones, and irrationally, Buck feels jealous. He pictures Eddie’s nimble fingers working the buttons of his shirts and he imagines what it might be like to open the door and help him.

But that’s not his job. His job is to be there for Christopher and ensure his needs are being met.

So Buck returns the effort by sending Eddie detailed notes after Chris’s medical appointments and physical therapy sessions. Anything from improvements, to new dietary plans, or exercises that are recommended. Although Eddie never follows up with anything, it’s obvious that he reads Buck’s notes, because Chris’s physiotherapist will off-handedly mention that the requested tutorials of the new exercises were sent to Eddie’s email. Or the fridge will be filled with food that’s suggested in the modified diet plan. That’s as far as things go. 

Buck wishes Eddie would just talk to him. 

He tries not to take it personally. He chalks it up to Eddie being busy with his new job, or stressed with the move, or simply introverted. Maybe he just misses his wife. Maybe he hates LA and all the people in it. There’s no real way to tell. 

Because Buck doesn’t linger too when Eddie comes home from work. He packs up quickly, makes sure to leave a note updating Eddie on anything Chris-related, and comes back the next morning just to avoid Eddie again. He does exactly what is expected of him in Eddie’s emails and tries not to overstep. He does the dishes, vacuums, folds laundry. Just small things that will make a positive impression and not intrude on Eddie’s space. But he doesn’t go beyond, and Eddie never asks him too. 

But Buck knows that Eddie isn’t an avoidant person, or particularly quiet. 

He actually seems to be well-integrated in his community, if the new fridge calendar is anything to go by. He seems to be on a first name basis with many of the parents, as Chris seems to have a playdate every weekend. Eddie plays basketball down at the community centre during his half-days, and he has a steady gym routine too. A brochure for a boxing gym appears on the fridge and Buck tries not to think about Eddie in boxing gloves, sweating, grunting, wearing one of his low cut tank tops. 

It seems the neighbours know Eddie well, or at least, want to know him. There are invites for wine nights—the only ones that get accepted are from the Wilson’s, because Chris really likes their son. There’s invites for barbecues too and Eddie happily accepts those, which Buck figured out when he found marinated ribs and chicken next to a container of store bought coleslaw.

Hell, even Chris’s teacher asks about Eddie and his current work projects every time Buck does school pick up. 

So it’s pretty obvious that Buck is the only person that Eddie doesn’t talk to.

And even though Buck is desperate for Eddie’s approval, he doesn’t dwell on it. His duty is to Chris, who is quickly becoming Buck’s favourite kid in the world.

Because Chris is a good kid. He’s great . 

Buck went through four years of college, and a ton of placement to get his qualifications and degree. He’s met so many children, but none of them compare to Chris. He’s funny and smart and naturally curious about everything–most days Buck’s going into Eddie’s study to get out a book from his collection of ‘How It Works’. He loves trying new things, where most children would be scared or throw tantrums. He’s got a great sense of independence, and it fills Buck with pride seeing how capable and confident Chris is.

What strikes Buck the most is how emotionally intelligent he is. 

When Chris starts asking for extra snacks in his lunchbox, Buck figures he’s just getting hungry, growing boys and all that. But it turns out, Chris hands out snacks to the kids in his class who don’t have enough food at home. When Chris takes a toy to school and doesn’t come back with it, it’s because he’s given it to someone who needs it more.

One day, when Buck is talking about Maddie, he feels tears gathering in his eyes. It’s a little silly, because Maddie has just moved to LA, and they’re closer than ever. But Buck can’t shake the pang of sadness thinking about the years of silence between them–

“Sorry”, Buck puts down his colouring pencil and wipes at his eyes, “I really shouldn’t cry”.

“You’re allowed to cry, Buck”, Chris pats his arm sympathetically. “Dad says crying helps our bodies make the hurt stop”. 

Oh. Eddie says that. He validates Chris and lets him feel his emotions, like a parent should. Something that Buck never had, could only dream of. His perspective of expands and morphs again, as he imagines Eddie saying those words. Eddie, with his reassuring voice and warm, kind eyes, murmuring assurances as he soothes the pain with his gentle hands. He imagines a smaller version of Eddie, in Chris's place and wonders who taught him these words that he's passed on to Chris.

“Your dad is right, y’know”, Buck smiles, feeling a lot lighter. But there must be something pinched about his face, still, because Chris leans in closer, obscuring Buck’s vision with his curly hair and red glasses.

“You know what else makes us better?” 

Buck pretends to think it over with an exaggeration hum, and then gives up, stumped. “What’s that, Chris?”

Chris launches himself at Buck, diving right against his chest and sending pencils scattering everywhere. 

“Hugs!”

Buck holds on tight, grateful for how amazing Chris is. And for how well his parents are raising him.

Chapter Text

Buck learns that Eddie isn’t as avoidant as he thought.

One afternoon, while Buck is putting the ingredients for his pasta back in the fridge, something catches his eye. It’s a bottle of juice, which isn’t anything new because Eddie has a really strange penchant for juice. There’s an entire shelf in the fridge that’s filled with it–like a mini-juice bar. Pineapple, orange, apple and blackcurrant. 

But this specific juice–it’s Buck’s favourite brand of  organic wild apple guava juice. 

“Dad bought that for you”, Chris chimes, noticing Buck’s unusual fascination with the bottle. Any excuse not to eat his vegetables.

“When?” 

Buck turns the bottle over in his hand. He’s not sure what he’s looking for. It’s not like Eddie would’ve stuck a note on it, or written his number at the bottom. It’s just an ordinary bottle of Buck’s favourite juice.

Chris just shrugs, not an ounce of interest in Buck’s stupid juice. “On the weekend”.

“Did he?”

Chris just said that he did, but Buck is desperate to know more. Eddie bought him juice. The specific brand of juice that he likes, that he drinks every day. Why? When did Eddie notice it? Has he tried it? What did he think of it? When he picked up this bottle and put it into his cart, did he second guess himself? His strong, capable fingers hand around the neck of the bottle … Does Eddie notice Buck? Should Buck change his hair?

“Yeah. He let me try one, but it was so yucky”, Chris shakes his head, like he’s trying to chase away the remnants of the juice in his mouth. “Can I have ice cream now?”

Buck finally looks away from the bottle and squints, assessing the plate carefully. Something looks off.

“Hey, where did your carrots go?” 

Chris isn’t making eye contact with Buck as he answers, “I ate them!” 

That’s when Buck catches it, something orange and stick shaped–

“Chris, is there something in your pocket that doesn’t belong there?”

“... Maybe”.

The juice can wait.

So Buck decides to make an effort. 

He says good morning. He tries to coax Eddie into sharing about his upcoming work day. He adds more food to Eddie’s lunch bag: apples, granola bars, and banana bread slices. Because he thinks it is really sad that Eddie only takes a water bottle, juice and crackers with him. It turns out Eddie’s office cafeteria offers a ‘sandwich of the day’, which literally fills Eddie up for the day. Buck still argues he should have a morning snack, and something for the drive home. The lunch bag comes back empty every day.

Buck begins ironing Eddie’s office shirts and makes his bed. 

He doesn’t think too hard about it. The indents on his pillows from where he’s laid, or the smell of his freshly washed shirts. He tries not to run his hands over the rumpled sheets of Eddie’s bed, or the creases in his shirts. Sometimes, Buck skirts his fingers over the seams of Eddie’s shirt collars and imagines what it might feel like to trace the skin underneath with his lips. To dip his hand lower, to hook his fingers into Eddie’s undershirt, to pull him close–

Buck starts mowing the lawn and learns that Eddie genuinely hates physical labour. So then he starts trimming the hedges, and soon he’s got flowers planted along the driveway. It’s a good activity for Christopher to get involved in, because he can start learning about photosynthesis, and because he looks for any excuse to go outside and get dirty. 

Buck cooks too. Well, he always cooks. He makes breakfast for Christopher, usually pancakes or French toast. Most afternoons, he ends up making lunch too. Sometimes it’s because he has an itch to try something new. Other times, because even Christopher can’t pretend everything his dad makes is enjoyable, or edible.

This leads to Buck making bigger portions of food, so there’s something left for Eddie when he comes home. He goes out of his way to find out what Eddie likes (by lightly interrogating Christopher). In a truly desperate move, Buck starts reading the labels of Eddie’s takeout containers in the recycling bin and recreates the dishes. To his delight, Buck always finds the container empty and washed, set back in the pantry exactly where he got it from. 

But above all, the biggest change Buck makes is not running out the door like his feet are on fire when Eddie comes home. 

Of course, it turns out that Eddie is nothing short of perfect. He takes genuine interest in the activities Chris does, during school, and after with Buck. He asks followup questions and sticks up Chris’s artworks on the fridge and researches materials for activities he wants to try. Every time Chris mentions a new game, or toy, it shows up in his room a few days later. 

Eddie has a pretty good understanding of who Chris’s friends are, and their current drama. He makes time to read Chris bedtime stories (and does funny voices). He practices Spanish with Chris and they video call his abuela every so often. There are days where they call Shannon too, but Buck leaves just as Shannon picks up the phone, because he understands that after the calls Chris needs space to process that she isn’t any closer to coming home. 

Of all things Eddie, Buck’s most favourite is how playfully affectionate he is.

Like right now, as Buck helps Chris with his math worksheet, Eddie drops his work bag on the couch to beeline for Chris and attack him with kisses. He makes loud, exaggerated ‘mwah’ sounds that make Chris giggle, and Buck’s heart full. 

“Hey Superman”.

“Dad!" Chris cheers, wrapping his arms around Eddie's shoulders.

“Wait a second”, Eddie frowns, turning his head towards the door. “What’s that sound?” 

They all quieten down to focus on a strange buzzing sound ringing through the air.

Eddie turns over to Buck, eyebrows raised in bewilderment. “Buck, do you know what that sound is?” 

Buck’s got it figured out–It’s Eddie. Every time he turns away from Chris, he’s making a loud buzzing noise that imitates a hive of bees. But he still plays along, making a stupid, confused face as he looks around frantically. 

“No Mr Diaz, what?” 

“Bees!” Eddie picks Chris up with an effortless swoop to run away from the table. “We’re under attack!” 

Buck’s not sure where he fits into this. Should he follow Eddie? Is he supposed to be their sacrifice? 

Eddie looks over his shoulder, pitching his voice into a panicked scream over Chris’s growing laughter. “Buck, move!”

But he’s too slow when he scrambles up. Eddie and Chris reache the bedroom door before him, and Eddie rubs in his victory by closing the door in Buck’s face. 

“Dad! Buck didn’t make it”. 

“The bees got me”, Buck wails outside the door, and then he slides down dramatically. It makes Chris howl with laughter when he hears Buck’s body thud to the floor, which in turn just makes Buck smile wider.

As he hears Chris’s laughter die down and Eddie’s breahting go even, he figures he should give them their father-son time. He packs up Chris’s workbook, and his pencils. Then he packs away the dishes from lunch and puts the leftover rice in a Tupperware container. He figures he should pick up the pillows and put them back on the couch. Might as well wipe down the dining table too. And unpack Eddie’s lunch bag. 

But after an hour of silence from the Diaz boys, Buck sort of worries. 

He inches closer to Eddie’s bedroom door and when he hears twin snores, it’s pretty obvious what’s happened. Buck cracks open the door, treading carefully so the floorboards don’t creak and disturb their sleep. He shuts the curtains first, because if they’re going to sleep, they should do it right. 

He doesn’t know how to react to the two boys sprawled in front of him.

Christopher’s tiny hand rests at the middle of Eddie’s chest, right against Eddie’s St Christopher pendant–which Buck can’t place how he feels about. Eddie carries Christopher everywhere with him, his good luck charm, close to his heart. It’s a testament to how important Eddie’s fatherhood is to him, and Buck is so selfish, he aches to feel that devotion for himself. 

Because Buck knows fathers. He knows his own, who didn't even give his children a chance before he decided they weren't worth knowing. He's been around children, in schools, and in their homes, outside in parks. He's seen fathers lost to their vices, unable to keep themselves awake long enough to know their children's names. He's seen angry fists that make houses shake. He's seen the opposite too. He's seen parents who made every wish come true with their money and their connections. He's seen parents who insist on their children having the best clothes and shoes and food. They made lunches and volunteered at school events and sometimes even made it home in time to read a bedtime story.

But even they had limits, and they were grateful they could leave their kids with Buck all day long.

He's seen so much, but no-one as loving, or as patient as Eddie. 

Buck adjusts the blanket over them, which makes Eddie stir. His eyes flutter open, and it’s clear he’s sort of disoriented, seeing Buck standing over his bedside. He looks beautiful, so much younger, so soft and hazy around the edges, that it makes Buck’s heart ache.

“It’s alright, go to sleep”, Buck whispers, gently ghosting his hand over Eddie’s hair.

Eddie nods sleepily. And then in a move Buck couldn’t have ever predicted, Eddie rubs his head against Buck’s palm, nudging into it like he’s just a little boy himself. 

“Night, Buck”.

Buck wants to card his hand through Eddie’s hair. He wants to move away the loose strands from his face, so he can sleep without feeling bothered. He wants to stay here, watch the rise and fall of Eddie’s chest and sync his heart to the pattern of Eddie’s breaths. Because it’s not just a stupid infatuation anymore. It’s not just admiration of Eddie’s muscles, or the breadth of his chest.

It’s a real, visceral longing that makes him want to burn himself alive. He longs to know Eddie, beyond his body. He wants to know everything-from the colour of his childhood bedroom walls, to how he chooses what cologne to wear in the mornings. He wants to know why Eddie likes his coffee the way he does. Why did he pretend to like it black, until Buck caught him scooping sugar into it? He wants to know how Eddie came to decide that he needed a frog-shaped sponge holder for his kitchen. 

It’s ridiculous, but Buck wants to be the one Eddie goes to with his thoughts and his problems and when he wants to share his favourite things. He wants to be there at the end of the day, behind Eddie’s eyes, thrumming through his dreams.

He wants Eddie so much, he can feel his breath shaking, becoming the loudest sound in this room. 

This room , where Shannon’s picture sits on the dressing table and so do her perfumes. Where half her clothes remain in the drawers and hung up in the cupboards, right next to Eddie’s, because she’s his wife and this her home and Buck’s only a temporary hire, a blip in their lives, nothing to get attached to.

“Night, Eddie”.

Buck closes the door.

Chapter Text

It’s inevitable that they find themselves alone. After all, Chris has a strict 8:30 pm bedtime on school nights.

On a Wednesday night, Eddie comes into the living room after reading Chris his bedtime story. 

In an incredibly bold move, Buck had decided to work on Chris’s project in the living room, instead of taking it home like he usually did. Also, because this is a diorama and he really didn’t want to risk anything falling into the abyss of his Jeep. 

“Just making sure nothing falls off his diorama tomorrow”, Buck says, by way of explanation. His nervousness around Eddie still hasn’t subsided. Not because he’s weary of Eddie anymore, but because he’s so stupidly attracted to him. Buck feels like his whole body runs out of oxygen every time Eddie’s around.

Eddie cocks his head, looking over the diorama of the rainforest on the coffee table. It’s actually turned out pretty well, with a mix of elements, from miniature plastic snakes to real sticks for the trees. Chris’s favourite part was definitely getting to dig through the front yard for said sticks. Stupidly, Buck hopes Eddie is impressed by the waterfall he made using Maddie’s hot glue gun. It’s supposed to mimic the waterfall from Jurassic Park (Chris said it was one of Eddie’s favourite movies) and Buck thinks he actually out-did the YouTube tutorial.

“Looks really cool”, Eddie gestures to the waterfall, “especially that. It's kinda like Jurassic Park”. Buck physically restrains himself from jumping into the air and floating into the sky. “Can I help?” 

“Oh, uh–”

Buck wasn’t prepared for that. Because then Eddie will have to sit next to him on the floor, and they’ll probably be pressed together as they fumble with all the little parts and their hands might brush–

“No, no. That’s ok”, Eddie holds his hands up, taking a giant step back. “I wouldn’t want to step on your toes”. He nods towards the couch, “Mind if I sit though?”

Buck shuffles over on the floor, so Eddie can access the couch. It’s his house, what did he need Buck’s permission for? 

“Of course”.

It’s silent for a while as Eddie just watches Buck glue things down and adjust the labels. Buck fights the urge to squirm under Eddie’s gaze. Eddie’s watching him so closely, or maybe not, maybe he just wants to see the diaroma they’ve been spending the better part of their afternoons doing. 

“Chris has, like, a hundred friends”, Buck voices, reinforcing the pebbles with more glue at their bases. He hopes Eddie can’t notice his hands trembling. “I think he’ll win on the popularity vote alone”.

“I wonder where he gets it from?” Eddie muses, settling back into the couch.

“Obviously from you”.

There’s a split second where Eddie pauses, almost as if he’s unsure of what to say. He chews his lip, and then softly clicks his tongue. “Nah, I got bullied in school”. 

Buck whips his head around to look at Eddie properly. His heart breaks into a million pieces, hearing those words. Eddie? Eddie, the sweetest, most kind-hearted man? Eddie, who lets Chris sleep in his bed most nights, especially when he misses his mother? Eddie, who put up his baby pictures from his little league baseball days and his sister's birthdays, because he misses them? Eddie, who buys Buck’s ridiculous snap pea chips so he doesn’t feel left out during snack time with Christopher?

Who looks at a kid with big rosy cheeks and pretty brown eyes and thinks to bully them? It must have been jealousy. 

“Everyone hated me because I was so beautiful. They used to run around and chase me with flowers and scream ‘pretty face, pretty face’”.

Buck sputters laughs, completely off kilter. He’s so confused. “What the fuck?” 

By the look on Eddie’s face, even he’s confused by what he’s said. He’s holding back a giant laugh, all red cheeks and crinkling eyes, and Buck is overcome with the need to know if Eddie just said something to make him laugh.

“What does that even mean, Eddie?”

Eddie shrugs and picks up the TV remote. “Kids can be so cruel”.

Buck is still riding the high of being in Eddie’s presence, when he starts his morning clean of the Diaz home. 

Buck can only focus by blasting music. He finds he can’t get anything done if he doesn’t, because he becomes restless and bored and gives up before he can even unload the dishwasher. He doesn’t stress on it too much, it’s not like there’s a rule against listening to music and Chris is safely dropped off at school, so Buck can use his noise cancelling headphones without a problem. 

Which is probably why he doesn’t hear Eddie creep up behind him to tap his shoulder. 

“Fuck!” Buck yells, dropping the sponge into the sink. When he realises its Eddie, he clams up. He can feel the embarassed flush climbing up his neck, and he hopes its a nice, pretty, splotchy pink that Eddie finds endearing, instead of his signature fire engine red. 

He’s been standing at the sink for half an hour at least—actually not standing, swivelling his hips and lip syncing along to his mix of 2000’s hits. Laregly inspired by anything Maddie would put on while cleaning her room. He’s still got his stupid cap on, backwards. Indoors. 

Eddie probably thinks he’s an idiot. 

Buck wipes his hands on the apron and takes the headphones off, so they’re resting on his shoulders. He feels like he should take his cap off too. 

“Sorry, jeez, warn a guy next time”.

Eddie only laughs harder, eyes crinkling in amusement as he watches Buck fiddle with the hem of his apron. Eddie leans back against the kitchen counter, aggravatingly perfect with his tie undone and windswept hair. Of course, his shirtsleeves are rolled up to his elbows, showing off his gorgeous, tanned forearms. Buck looks away just in time to stop himself from blurting out: are you veiny everywhere?

Thankfully, Eddie speaks up. “I’m sorry. I went in for one meeting today and it got cancelled. Thought I should just come back home”. 

“Right”, Buck nods. He still can’t hold eye contact with Eddie.

“What are you doing?” 

Eddie’s smiling so wide, a dimple appears at the side of his face. Buck can’t even find it in himself to avoid Eddie’s imploring eyes anymore. He just wants to reach out and touch. He wants to be the reason for Eddie’s smile, forever. 

Buck clears his throat casually, “Just washing the dishes”.

“Relax”, Eddie soothes, gently presses his palm against the small of Buck’s back as his glass fills up with water. “I was just teasing”. 

Buck can't relax, because Eddie's so close to him, the buttons of his shirt are grazing Buck's arms. Buck can't relax, because he see every movement in Eddie's neck-the shift of muscle, the stray droplets running down the curve of his jaw, as he drinks his glass of water. And he certainly can't relax, because Eddie's fingertips are pressing at the base of his spine. It wouldn't matter, if Eddie took him right here, against the sink, just to work off the frustration of his cancelled meeting. Buck wouldn't tell anyone, wouldn't say a word, if it meant he could show Eddie how good he can be on his knees.

But instead, Eddie rinses his glass out and leaves.

Chapter Text

Buck’s affinity for embarrassing himself in front of Eddie pays off, because the ice between them finally breaks. 

His hours at the Diaz household almost double, not because of Chris, but because of Eddie. Almost every night, they spend time doing what Buck can only describe as ‘parallel-play’. 

Buck works on anything Christopher needs. Which mainly includes putting finishing touches on projects. Anything from gluing popsicles sticks together extra tightly, to filling in the white spots on the poster boards.

During that time, Eddie works on whatever his job needs from him. Or more accurately, Eddie clumsily balances his laptop on his thighs as he steals glances at the TV over the top of his glasses and pretends that he’s not interested in whatever trash reality show Buck is watching. 

Two important things here: one, Buck prefers documentaries and trivia shows, but he realised that Eddie looks at the TV more when there’s some sort of physical altercation or hysterical crying on the TV. And two, Eddie wears glasses that make him look like one of those college professors who Buck would get on his knees for, even if there was no extra credit. 

Not that he ever did something like that.

But the point is, Buck isn’t sure when this shift started—him and Eddie sitting on the same couch, night after night, using the TV as pretense to be in each other's company. Not that there’s anything to read into. Eddie’s married, Buck’s his employee. 

However, he isn’t complaining, because it’s just another opportunity to learn about Eddie. 

So far, he’s found Eddie loves anything that’s a variation of The Real Housewives or The Bachelor . Everything on TLC is utterly fascinating to Eddie, to the point where they end up with bowls of popcorn. But sometimes he tears up during tender moments on Say Yes to the Dress and that’s when Buck’s heart clenches, heavy with questions about Eddie and Shannon’s wedding. 

What was the ceremony like? Did Eddie have his vows memorised? Why don’t they have any photos around the house? 

Day by day, Buck finds it harder to remember if Shannon even wore a wedding band. 

But he can’t say any of those things, so he pretends he can’t notice Eddie’s red rimmed eyes. What Buck does notice is Eddie also gets weirdly invested in shows where couples need to renovate houses to save their marriage. If he really likes a renovation idea, he takes a photo of the TV and sends it to Shannon. 

Buck wonders if she responds. 

Eddie hates Dance Moms , or anything that involves child stars, because he firmly believes they shouldn’t be treated that way. And dating shows are an absolute no-go, as Buck learned when Eddie retreated to his study, four minutes into Too Hot To Handle . 

“Holy fuck”, Eddie exclaims, closing his laptop. “Did that lady just glue herself to the floor so Joey would talk to her?”

Buck tries to hide his grin behind Chris’s spelling list of the week. He’s testing new ways to practice spelling words, so Chris stays engaged. He finds ‘Look, Cover, Write, Check’ too repetitive and boring and honestly, Buck doesn’t blame him. Also, it’s a system that relies more on memory rather than a child's understanding of spelling rules and patterns. So, it needs to go. 

“Yeah”.

Eddie sets the laptop on the coffee table, and swaps it for the beer bottle sweating out on the coaster.

“Is this real?” 

“Mhm”, Buck nods. “Maddie told me she sent the firefighters who unglued her”. 

“Maddie, your sister?” Eddie asks, popping the cap off his beer bottle. 

Buck tries to hide his glee at Eddie knowing Maddie, even though he’s never directly mentioned her to Eddie. After the episode ends, he shows Eddie the videos Maddie’s boyfriend (even though she won’t call him that) took of the scene. 

Other nights, it’s Eddie who plays something on the TV, beer cradled in his hand while Buck reads.Or at least he pretends to read. Buck doesn’t actually read. Not one word registers in his brain during his nights with Eddie.

He likes watching Eddie, softened by the glow of the TV light, and his worn in henleys. He loves the way Eddie’s face is so expressive. The smile lines that burst around his mouth, like parentheses of joy. The way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, and his hair shakes, falling into his eyes. He’s so sweet, and equally as handsome when there’s a burst of colour in his face from annoyance because of his sports team. Or when he groans in frustration, veins coursing against his neck, the long line of it exposed as Buck miserably shifts a pillow over his lap. 

When it comes to his TV choices, Eddie usually goes for sports, from wrestling to basketball, he puts any game he’s been meaning to catch up on. If he really needs to concentrate and needs noise in the background, he’ll put on an episode of a telenovela he memorised the script of when he was a kid (because his abuela played it so much), or a detective-thriller show set in rural America, with a haunted protagonist and heavy religious overtones.

On more relaxed nights, he loves showing Buck movies, because Buck is that one embarrassing friend whose only seen three movies his entire life. They make an entire watch list, because it’s that serious to Eddie. 

It makes Buck squirm, knowing Eddie’s watching him carefully for his reaction at every plot-twist, every jump scare and unexpected character death. But he also loves holding Eddie’s attention, and getting to talk with him and look at him so openly. 

It’s terribly domestic, from the way they laugh and fall over each other, to the way Eddie always ends up slipping close and pressed up against Buck because he’s too tired to stay up. And it’s hard when they’ve got their hands all over each other–Eddie throwing popcorn at Buck, and Buck swatting Eddie’s stupid, big arms away.

Because Buck can’t help but look up the IMDb page, while Eddie wants to discuss the themes and motifs, and which scenes Buck liked the most.  

Eddie has an awful habit of spoiling movies for himself because he can literally predict the plot of a movie, just from a camera angle. Buck finds it impressive, and he likes it when Eddie talks him through how he figured out the ending using elements in the movie. He wonders what else Eddie could talk him through.

Eddie gestues at the TV, “It’s obvious they were going to reconnect because she picked up the watch. It’s a symbol of their unbreakable connection. It’s how they communicate with each other–”

Buck gasps in shock. “It was nominated for 5 Oscar categories but only one. Who decides these things? I would’ve blown up the place if I was Nolan–”

Eddie tries to smack Buck’s phone out of his hand, but Buck dodges by kneeing Eddie’s side. 

“Shut up, look”, Eddie rewinds the movie, “Like when Cooper goes to space, and Murph doesn’t touch the watch, it shows their relationship is strained, it’s paused–”

“You know I read somewhere that the academy doesn’t even watch all the nominated films–”

“But do you get what the watch means?”

“Oh my god”, Buck groans, no malice to it at all because he loves when Eddie passionately dissects what they’ve just watched. 

Buck wonders if English was Eddie’s favourite subject in school, because he’s incredibly articulate and if his study reveals anything–a bookworm. He’s got a beautiful bookcase–black cherry stained wood, three shelves and hidden storage at the bottom–that matches with his desk. 

The bookcase had arrived one morning as Buck and Chris were leaving for school. It came with a note from Adriana and Sophia (who Chris happily explained were his tia’s), wishing Eddie a huge congratulations on his new job and move to L.A. 

Of course, Buck couldn’t help but go through it after Eddie put it up in his study.

There’s one row of history books with coloured tabs sticking out haphazardly. From Zapata and the Mexican Revolution to the Band of Brothers . Buck is too scared to touch Eddie’s history books, because he doesn’t want to mess up Eddie’s annotations, even though he’s desperate to know what Eddie’s system of coloured tabs represent–what he finds interesting, what he’ll look into, or is amused by.

And if Buck goes to the library just to get copies of those books, that’s between his librarian and him.

The second row mostly contains beat up novels. There seems to be one from every genre, from Gothic fiction, to coming of age stories in Spanish. Buck recognises some titles of from his old dorm mates mandatory readings and some from his own days in highschool. 

His curiosity got the better of him one morning, as he he opened Eddie’s well-worn copy of Farenheit 451 . 

There was an inscription on the inside of the cover, ‘For the bestest big brother. Happy 16th Birthday Eddie! We love you the most! Adriana and Sophia’. And then he had to look through Eddie’s books. The Iliad is separate from all of Eddie’s books, it’s on the very top of the bookcase, in it’s own special bookstand, in a protective plastic sleeve. 

To quote Alexander the Great, you are ‘The friend I valued as my own life’. 

I wish you could’ve come with me.  Maybe in the future? Write to me until then.

- David.  

Buck wonders where David went, or if Eddie did write to him. Maybe David was in Dallas and that’s why Eddie didn’t have the heart to leave. And if he is so close to Eddie, why has Buck never heard even a whisper of his name from Eddie or Chris?

It’s none of his business he decides, as he dusts the plastic off and sets it back.

Some books are simply inscribed with, ‘Property of Eddie Diaz’, and Buck traces over those words, imagining a smaller version of Eddie labelling his things meticulously. The habit seems to have followed him into adulthood. Eddie’s lunch bag has a little ‘Return to Diaz’ sticker in it with his office number, God forbid Eddie ever leaves it in the cafeteria. 

What Buck finds most interesting is the collection of romance novels that Eddie has hidden in the two-door cabinet at the bottom of the bookshelf. Eddie had left it open, probably rushing out the door as he grabbed something out, and Buck couldn’t help but rifle through it. In his defense, one of the binders was going to fall out or something, so Buck had to grab it and adjust it, and then he couldn’t fit it quite right, something was behind it–

A stack of harlequin romance novels.

God, if that didn’t make Buck flush from his ears down to his ankles. 

All those pretty, blonde women in dramatic embraces, delicate hands clutching at the broad shoulders of their lovers. Flushed cheeks and windswept hair, chisled jaws and sensitive eyes. Even the titles are sweet and dreamy. A Taste of Paradise, Falling for the Doctor, Windward Quest. 

He really shouldn’t have, but Buck took a picture of the binders as Eddie had arranged them, and then he took them all out to see if there was anything else hidden behind them. Of course, there were more than twenty books back there. Historical era romances about lovesick knights and locked up princesses. Nobles, enamoured by rebellious commoners. There’s a few Western romances, which makes sense Buck supposes, because of Eddie’s Texan background. 

He’s got a lovely collection, from Persuasion to The Princess Bride .

Except one rogue erotic novel. 

Buck had skimmed over the blurb, and then over the book’s pages, blushing deeply as he thought of Eddie reading about raw, primal, sheet-clawing fucking in this room. To summarise, the novel follows a steamy, frenzied affair between a mysterious, broody history professor and his innocent, pining student. And at the front page of the book–

Saw this and thought of you. Happy birthday handsome. Shannon, xoxox. 

Buck had snapped it closed immediately, and then spent thirty minutes putting everything back exactly as it was according to the picture, checking it and double checking it, so Eddie wouldn’t notice anything out of place.

“Go marry the watch, if you like it so mu–”.

Eddie cuts him off by throwing a pillow at his face. 

When their eyes need a break and Chris’s projects are a little too complex, Buck and Eddie have their floor time.

The floor oddly makes it easier for them to be vulnerable with each other. Maybe because they’re not confined to one fixed space, or so hyper aware of their bodies touching. Maybe it’s because when two grown men lay on their bellies to do arts and crafts, it’s hard to take anything seriously. 

They go back and forth—Eddie talks about things that are weighing on him at the office, and his annoying coworkers. Buck still doesn’t understand what Eddie does exactly, but he knows it’s something along the lines of managing projects for a consulting firm. 

Buck talks about how Maddie’s new job is going at the 9-1-1 dispatch centre. Eddie never asks why Maddie only just started talking to Buck again. He only chimes in with shocked faces, gasps of disbelief and asks follow up questions of how it’s possible for these emergencies to occur.

Eddie talks about his time in Dallas, rarely offering any real insight. He mostly just says he’s so thankful he’s out of there. But he does miss his grandmother. At least he could visit her in El Paso every once in a while. Buck never asks why Eddie stayed in Dallas all those months and didn’t come to LA with Shannon and Chris. He just laughs and pictures six foot tall Eddie, getting his cheeks pinched by a woman whose a head shorter than him. 

There’s a lot that goes unsaid between them, but Buck doesn’t mind, as long as he gets to spend time with Eddie. 

That’s how they’ve found themselves spread out on the floor boards of the living room, colouring in a diagram of an erupting volcano. It’s pretty well done, but there’s some spots that could use another layer of colour to pop. They also agree that the volcano should be outlined in black.

Buck feels like he’s floating, something pleasant and sweet simmering in his veins as he watches the man across from him. Buck’s not even working anymore, he’s just got his face pillowed into his arms as Eddie finishes shading the volcano to his liking. He’s so invested, it’s cute and Buck needs to get it together before he knocks the marker out of Eddie’s fingers and kisses his knuckles.

“I kinda love this”, Eddie murmurs, switching his earthy brown marker for a lava red one. 

“Yeah?”

“Mhm”, Eddie nods. “I have two little sisters—not little now—but I used to colour with them like this all the time. It was nice. Now we have kids who fuckin’ suck at colouring”.

Eddie down at him, perfectly curled strand of hair falling in his face. He’s grinning easily, canines on display and Buck just wants to reach out and touch. He wants to feel the indents of Eddie’s teeth on his fingertips and his lips—

“What?”

Buck snaps out of it. 

“You’re just—you’re so silly”.

And it’s true, Eddie is really silly. He does bits with Chris all the time. Just an hour ago Eddie hand-fed Chris his carrots and did a funny voice for each of them, so Crhis would laugh and forget how gross they taste. If he has time to have breakfast with Chris, he acts unaware of his milk-moustache and pretends he’s going to leave for work without checking his face. Sometimes Eddie switches his serious, boring work socks for patterned superhero themed socks to match with Chris.

Eddie cocks his head, “Does that surprise you?”

 Buck shrugs, “Sometimes”. Eddie’s still waiting, not satisfied with the vagueness of Buck’s answer, so Buck continues, “Not in a bad way, I just … I don’t know. Don’t be offended, ok?” Eddie nods, and Buck takes it as permission to keep going, “This was before I actually knew you. But I thought you were like one of those office dads. You know, barely have time for your kid, barely home, always annoyed, rarely interested”. 

Eddie considers that. 

Buck wants to take it back. He shouldn’t have said that. No matter how ‘close’ Buck believes them to be, Eddie is still very much his boss. And it’s rude to make assumptions like that about someone, and especially to voice it to their face–Maddie’s right. Buck should think before he speaks, he should say he’s sorry, he would never think of Eddie that way–

“My dad was like that, so I try not to be”. 

“Oh”.

“It’s weird. My dad and I were the same age when we became fathers. I have almost the same life as him”, Eddie purses his lips, like it makes him upset to admit it. 

“I’m married, live a thousand miles away from home, I have the same career as him. Actually, no, my position is higher than his. I have double his workload. But the difference is that my son actually talks to me”, Eddie chews his lip, eyebrows scrunched like he’s reliving every moment of distance between him and his father. 

“It just puts it into perspective sometimes. It’s so easy to love your kid. It’s actually so much harder to not have a relationship with them”. Eddie takes a deep breath, steadying himself. “It killed me when I was in Dallas”.

“I was hurting every single day knowing I was missing out on Chris’s life. I came to LA and I thanked god for giving me the chance to know my son. Of course, it’s hard. I get frustrated. I don’t know if I’m always making the right choice. Sometimes he thinks I’m the worst person in the world because I won’t let him have 3 bowls of ice cream for dinner, but he’s still my son”. 

Eddie’s voice breaks a little, and he presses his marker just a little harder to the lava oozing out of the volcano. The ink bleeds a little, like a blood-stain, and Buck snaps his eyes to Eddie’s face, noticing the tears forming in Eddie’s eyes. 

“I don’t know what my dads problem was. I’ll never understand why he was the way he was. Hell, I’ll never forgive him for it either. But I can forgive myself, as long as I’m not like him. 

Buck is uncharacteristically quiet as he absorbs Eddie’s words. 

Because Eddie is so ... he's beyond good. He's the kind of parent that kids dream of-he's indulgent and kind and patient. He's one of those parents that you would call for help, instead of being scared of how they'd react. He's open-minded and loving, never one to chide Chris if a 'girly' cartoon is his fixation of the week. Eddie's the perfect man and Buck wishes he could say that, without it being so loaded, without it revealing all the awful, overwhelming feelings he has for Eddie'

He’s quiet for a little too long, because Eddie clears his throat. 

“Sorry, it was important that you knew that. I know I can be … cagey, moody, whatever you’d like to call it. But Buck, it matters to me that you know I’m not—mean”.  Eddie blinks rapidly, chasing away the tears glazing his eyes. “I–I care about things, I want to be better”.

“I never thought you were mean, Eddie”, Buck whispers. He’s heartbroken at the the thought that Eddie believes Buck would think so lowly of him. Buck thinks Eddie’s the most wonderful man he’s ever met. He’s perfect, he’s beautiful, if Eddie wasn’t married, Buck wouldn’t have whisked him to city hall and made an honest man of him right and then. 

“What’d you think of me?”

“I thought you had a very handsome mustache”, Buck says honestly. 

Eddie laughs, loud and unabashed, and Buck lets it wash over him. Like sunrays, like the surf of an ocean wave, like Buck could live just on this, forever. 

Chapter Text

Eddie

open.spotify.com

Hey, Buck. Ravi showed me that people can share playlists! I thought that would be good, because sometimes Chris asks me for songs in the car that I have no clue about. I have a hunch you’re the one who's been expanding his musical tastes. Would you mind adding the songs that you two listen to? Thanks.

guilty! 

and course i can 

open.spotify.com

we can have a playlist for ourselves if you’d like

for the Not Safe For Chris songs 

Eddie

👍🏻

Their relationship develops digitally too. 

Buck mostly sends updates on what Christopher is up to. Actually, that’s all Buck does in the beginning. He doesn’t want to bother Eddie while he’s working, or send something that could be misinterpreted as unprofessional. He strictly keeps it to Chris—his schedule, his artworks, or anything else Eddie should know.  

Eddie is the one who bridges the distance between them.

Despite his eerily well-punctuated texts, Eddie is an open book. He initiates most of the conversations between them, texting Buck multiple times a day, not holding back anything—song lyrics, stray thoughts during meetings or requests for food. Sometimes he sends photos, little snippets of his own day, which Buck cherishes because he loves seeing the world from Eddie’s eyes. 

Eddie usually texts when he’s in the office—out of boredom, or genuine curiosity about Buck’s day. Slowly, the notes on the kitchen counter dwindle and Eddie just ends up texting Buck anything he needs to know. Slowly, Buck starts coming over on weekends and on Eddie’s half-days. They run errands together and do chores, and sometimes Eddie just simply sits at the kitchen counter, working from home while Buck makes lunch. 

And just for a moment, Buck can pretend he means as much to Eddie, as Eddie means to him.

It’s all ok, until Buck will be in the middle of something–stirring the pasta sauce, hearing Eddie’s bright laugh, or folding the laundry–and remember, this is just temporary. Because Eddie has a wife who he did these things with, these achingly domestic things that send Buck deeper down his delusional spiral of ‘Eddie and I fit together’ . Eddie probably just misses the company of his other half, he’s probably imagining Shannon in Buck’s place all the time, thinking : I can’t wait until she comes home, so I can do this with her.

Buck is only Shannon’s stand in. 

And then he snaps out of it, smile too tight and eyes too wet to pass off as normal. He pretends to ignore Eddie’s curious, cautious glances and continues like Eddie’s wedding band isn’t glinting at him–taunting, guilting, mocking.

Even then, most nights, he doesn’t leave until Eddie’s nodding off, half-asleep. 

To Buck’s absolute shock (and delight), Eddie even initiates phone calls between them. Sometimes, those phone calls are during his lunch hour, which usually consist of Buck talking at Eddie, while Eddie eats his sandwich of the day. Buck would feel more guilty if it wasn’t for Eddie saying, I’m happy to listen to you talk , when Buck asked if he was being annoying Eddie on his break. 

Other times, the phone calls are when Buck has gone back to his apartment. Eddie has a question, or Buck needs to fill Eddie in about something Chris’s teacher said, and before they know it, it’s well past midnight and Eddie’s talking real slow because it’s late and his eyes are drooping closed. 

Every time, Buck has to force himself to hang up instead of listening to Eddie’s even breaths. 

He imagines Eddie, soft and silver in the moonlight; in his study, alone in his bed. He imagines filling that space next to him, keeping him warm, or simply … watching him. He imagines moonbeams morphing into sunrays, kissing along Eddie’s skin until he’s golden and hazy, someone Buck could’ve only wished up in his wildest dreams. He imagines Eddie all the time, in every way, in every place, until his mind crashes to a halt because it’s overloaded with Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. He wonders if Eddie pictures him the same way. 

Thursday 4:21 pm

A painting of the sunset! Chris practiced making secondary colours today.

[1 image attached]

Eddie 🌻

Wow 🤩

Gorgois

Gorgeus 

Gregours 

Geogus 

GORGEOUS

Don’t wait up for me tonight … Ending it all … 

idk what to say

Eddie 🌻

Start working on your eulogy. 

😕✍️

Friday 3:34 pm

[1 image attached]

look!!!

chris won!! he came first in his class 

for the spelling test two weeks in a row

Eddie 🌻

He’s the smartest kid ever.

no thanks to his dad

Eddie 🌻

You’re fired.

Monday 4:14 pm 

Hi Eddie, can Chris have chocolate chip cookies for dinner?

Eddie 🌻

HECK YES!!!

HECK YES!!!

There’s something wrong with my phone.

I’m trying to say HECK YES!!!

Ok Eddie, I’ll give him cookies!

Can he go to a sleepover with Denny?

Eddie 🌻

HECK YES!!!

Buck, I’m going to call you. 

ok ok, don’t get mad 

chris and i changed your phone settings

we changed it so ‘no’ comes up as heck yes

Eddie 🌻

I hate technology.

Yes, he can have cookies. But only two, after he finishes his vegetable portion.

Wednesday 10:12 am

Eddie 🌻

I know I’m super fly.

the ladies they love luxury 

Eddie 🌻

That’s why they all fuck with me.

out here with the moves 

Eddie 🌻

Like I invented smooth.

😏🕶️🤏🏼

LMAO 

real smooth eddie 

Eddie 🌻

Thanks, Ravi showed me how.

Also, can you pick Chris up? 

My 11 o’clock got rescheduled to 1. 

no worriesss

Thursday 3:09 pm

Eddie 🌻

Is it true you like Lego?

Or is Chris just saying this so he can get another set?

i like lego 

BUT

please dont buy anything, i will bring my sets from home

4:49 pm

Eddie 🌻

I know you weren’t expecting this, but would you like to come over?

[1 image attached]

This aeroplane has defeated me. I’m going to flip the table over.

holy shit

eddie the wings are on backwards ???

wait im omw

10:04 pm

what was that telenovelas name

Eddie 🌻

El bombero y yo. 

is eduardo actually gonna cheat on his wife with the doppleganger

Eddie 🌻

Tune in to find out …

EDDIE I KNOW YOU KNOW

EDDIE

HELLOOOO

Friday 7:21 am

Eddie ❣️

Good morning, Buck. Could you please take the chicken out of the freezer before you drop Chris off? Sorry, it slipped my mind. 

done!

Eddie ❣️

👍🏻

1:01 pm

Eddie ❣️

The lasagna is fantastic. Thank you so much, Chris will love this. 

anytime!

let me know if he does like it, i’ll make it again

Eddie ❣️

Truthfully, I’ve eaten half the pan. 

There won’t be any left for him.

omg 

that was supposed to last you guys the weekend

Eddie ❣️

My bad …

Sunday 4:28 pm

EIDDIIE

BRBAD TORRENT CE IS HERE 

Eddie ❣️

What?

Brad Torrance just showed up at maddies work

Eddie ❣️

WHAT

[13 images attached]

Eddie ❣️

GET HIM TO SIGN SOMETHING

FOR CHRIS

“for chris”

wait 

my cap!!!!

Eddie ❣️

HURRY UP THEN

GET OFF YOUR PHONE 

OMGGGKGKF

HECAN DAY HI TO YOU

Eddie ❣️

INCOMING VIDEO CALL

Monday 8:28 am

chris is dropped off for his excursion!

are you still good to pick him up at 3:30?

Eddie ❣️

👍🏻

9:21am

Eddie ❣️

I am so bored.

I hate Monday morning meetings. This literally could have been an email.

What are you up to?

Buck has invited you to 8 ball pool

10:12 am

Eddie ❣️ 

Best out of 5?

seen 10:13 am

Eddie ❣️

Why are you reading my message but not responding?

Ok how about best out of 10? You could still win!

🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

2:02 pm

Eddie ❣️

Sandwich of the day!

nom nom

can you ask for the recipe or is that illegal

Eddie ❣️

Chef just bashed my kneecaps in with a crowbar. 

Tuesday 8:23 am

Eddie ❣️

[1 image attached]

AWHHHHH

quack quack quack

Eddie ❣️

The ducks are going up to the lemonade stand.

And making me late.

uh oh

bad news

we just ran out of grapes

4:38 pm

Eddie ❣️

PLEASE SAY NO!

eddie 

Eddie ❣️

Buck, please, we’ve seen Inside Out 308 times.

what do u like??

Eddie ❣️

Anything except Inside Out. 

I can’t fucking believe you!!!

im sorryyy

hes just a baby 

AND SO ARE YOU

 leave us alone and watch something on ur laptop

Eddie ❣️

I hate you. 

😘😘😘😘

did you just drop the popcorn bowls???

are u ok???

Wednesday 8:22 am

[1 image attached]

wow these cupcakes are so cute

u made them last night??

is that why u slept in?

Eddie ❣️

DO NOT SHOW CHRIS.

Yes, I made them last night.

They’re a surprise. It’s Shannon’s birthday today. We’re going to video call her.

oh 

happy birthday to shannon!

g2g 

chris is gonna be late for school

Eddie ❣️

The cupcakes with blue liners are for you.

thanks eddie

9:36 am

RED VELVETTTT

EEEE

thanks!

Eddie ❣️

Anytime.

11:14 am 

fact of the day: theres a hotel in sweden made of TREE HOUSES.

Eddie ❣️

Thinking of travelling?

its sooo cool 

[1 image attached]

whats the furthest place youve ever been

do u travel for work sometimes?

Eddie ❣️

Not if I can help it but I’ve been to Sweden once.

My mom’s Swedish.

woahhhh

i love when u tell me stuff

like hi im eddie did u know im awesome at Muay Thai and every sport ever

here's  a home video of me pitching a home run

can u speak swedish?? 

Eddie ❣️

Like, 4 words.

And they translate to ‘Go to your room’.

eddie :(

Eddie ❣️

I can pronounce anything in the IKEA catalogue.

that is so sexy

say something for me please

SORRY

I MEANT THAT PROFESSIONALLY 

just like its a really good skill

for ikea

you could be the next ceo!

Eddie ❣️

Eddie sent a voice message 00:09

wait let me guess

is it a table?

Eddie ❣️

It’s a dining set. I’ll send you a picture.

[1 image attached] 

again!!!!

Eddie ❣️

Eddie sent a voice message 00:13

oooh

tv stand?

Eddie ❣️

Are you searching these up?

AM I RIGHTTT??

Eddie ❣️

Yes, actually. 

[1 image attached]

do another one!!!

Eddie ❣️

Eddie sent a voice message 00:11

Thursday 11:12 am

Eddie ❣️

So you can say anything at the end of ‘Nonsense’, as long as it rhymes?

yeah, she does a different outro for every city.

Eddie ❣️

Ok, I think I get it. 

head so good im giving him endorphins 

wish he would rearrange my organs 

hershey is the city i was born in

Eddie ❣️

Wow.

Did you write that yourself?

no, i wish 

just had to rep my city

Eddie ❣️

I didn’t know you were from Pennsylvania.

it never came up

i guess thats my fact of the day

11:28 am

Eddie ❣️

I just want him to ride me like a rodeo,

got him screaming like we’re in the studio.

LA, I don’t know if he wants me though.

WOAH

jesus 

you came up with that???

all by yourself???

Eddie ❣️

Yes.

Do you like it?

its certainly something! 

very colorful use of language and imagery there

Eddie ❣️

Ugh. Need to run, meeting with head office.

11:53 am 

Eddie ❣️

Sliding down his pipes like I’m Mario,

make him sweat so hard he calls me cardio, 

I hate the Bulls, fuck off Chicago.

EDDIE PLEASE

ravi just sent me the nastiest text

get off your phone before your boss notices

Eddie ❣️

But do you like it?

lowkey yeah

why are you so good at this???

Eddie ❣️

I’m feeling inspired.

And I minored in English Literature. 

majored in slut pop?

Eddie ❣️

HA!

12:13 pm

Raviiiii 

why is eddie searching up is it legal to date my babysitter?

NO HE ISNTT

AREUSERIOSU ?

Raviiiii 

istg eddie just typed that and deleted it

NO HEJDIDNT

OMG!!??

Raviiiii 

ong bro

ARE YUO FR?????

Raviiiii 

🤡🤡🤡

fuck you

Raviiiii 

meeting finally over thank god

Monday  3:14 am 

Eddie ❣️

Came so hard I forgot what I was saying.

Put him on his knees, but he’s not praying.

Six hours ‘til I need to meet up with Beijing.

7:12 am

ive created a monster

what the fuck were you doing up at 3 am then??

coffee + pastry on the counter when you finish showering

Eddie ❣️

GOD BLESS.

anytime :)

10:02 am

Eddie ❣️ has invited you to 8 ball pool

leave me alone!!!!

Eddie ❣️

:( 

pick a different game

10:03 am

Raviiiii 

TELL EDDIE TO PUT THAT DAMN PHONE DOWN

i literally dont know what ur talking abt lol

Raviiiii 

do u want him to lose his job???

ok damn

10:09 am

Eddie ❣️ has invited you to Yahtzee

10:23 am

did u rig this

Eddie ❣️

Buck, it’s a game of strategy. 

CHEATERCHEATERCHEATER

Eddie ❣️

:( 

i cant stand you

2:07 pm

Eddie ❣️

Sandwich of the day!

[1 image attached]

goddddd

mgggjfd

looks so fucking good

fuck

7:04 pm

Eddie ❣️

Wait!!!

Check the fridge on your way out!

OHMYGODODDDDD

YESSSSS GOOOOD

god it tastes so good 

never kill yourself

Eddie ❣️

I know.

I miss it so much.

im still in the kitchen come here

ill cut it in half

OMG ILL TOAST ITTT

Eddie ❣️

This is what I pay you for. 

Hold on, I need to stand here until Chris packs his library books.

8:49 pm

Eddie ❣️

Cue up Top Gun.

He’s almost asleep.

TAKE MY BREATH AWAYYYY

or do u want to watch the new one

Eddie ❣️

Buck, do not piss me off right now.

yikesss

worse than the time u almost beat my ass for getting crumbs in ur truck

Eddie ❣️

No one eats in the truck. You know this!

ok mom

Tuesday 1:31 pm

Eddie ❣️

I’ve heard the movie is garbage  but I truly believe that ‘Love Me Like You Do’ should have won a Grammy.

LMAO

 it was actually nominated for 2 grammys!

Eddie ❣️.

AND IT LOST BOTH CATEGORIES? 

are you ok???

like actually?

Eddie ❣️. 

Ravi was gonna bash my head with his computer monitor if I played the song again.

He said he regrets showing me how to blend our playlists.

thats so mean

turn it up!

Eddie ❣️

I’ll let you set the pace

COS IM NOT THINKING STRAIGHT

Eddie ❣️

My head’s spinning around …

I CAN’T SEE CLEAR NO MORE

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FORRR

Eddie ❣️

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?

Tuesday 1:47 pm

Raviiiii 

I hate you I hate you I hate you  

I hate you I hate you I hate you 

I hate you I hate you I hate you  

I hate you I hate you I hate you 

I hate you I hate you I hate you

kissy face emoji

Raviiiii 

CUNT

                                                                         😘😘😘😘

1:53 pm

Eddie ❣️

Are you Ravi’s secret boyfriend?

WHAT

HUH?

is this a joke?

when did RAVI get a bf?

Eddie ❣️

Sorry, I thought the kissy face emoji’s …

Nevermind.

OMG

just checked his insta

 i think i know who it is

Eddie ❣️

Wait, no spoilers. 

I’ve got lunch in five minutes.

INCOMING CALL

Wednesday 11:53 am

fact of the day: ‘Q’ is the only letter that doesn’t appear in any American state name

Eddie ❣️

Loser.

ikr

Eddie ❣️

You know what does start with ‘Q’?

Quesadilla’s. 

on it!!!

8:12 pm

Eddie ❣️

What’s Bridgerton?

im so sorry eddie

i only watched a little bit while i waas ironing ur shirts

i forgot to remove from ur profile 

but its really good!!!! if u wanna check it out

i g2g maddieshere

she recommended it to me so uknow its good

11:32 pm

Eddie ❣️

If Daphne doesn’t end up with the Duke, I will do something so drastic. 

omggg 

you watched without me :(

Eddie ❣️ 

Sorry! 

I can rewind. 

jk its ok 

ive seen it before

Eddie ❣️ 

Who does she end up with then?

Buck?

Hello!?

Thursday 10:33 am 

Eddie ❣️

[1 image attached]

On my day off. I’m still getting these gains.

ok grandpa lets get you back to bed

Eddie ❣️

[1 image attached]

Why is this shirt so tight? I bought the 2XL size.

oh my god eddie

Igototagay

GO

ig2g

Friday 11:44 am

Eddie ❣️

[1 image attached]

He’s haunting me. 

timmy t????

whats he saying?

Eddie ❣️

I can’t repeat it. Just know that it involves a peach.  

LMAO 

Eddie ❣️

I can’t believe you made me watch that.

i didn’t!!!!!!! 

you were meant to get home at 10, not 9

Eddie ❣️

I’m sorry but I’m a parent. 

And I was supposed to work from home ALL DAY. It’s criminal that I had to have dinner with a client. 

ok but i asked you like 43 times if you wanted me to turn it off

oh!

fact of the day: did you know that in Chinese mythology, peaches are a symbol of longevity and immortality? they’re

frequently featured in Chinese art and fables.

Eddie ❣️

Why are you telling me this?

cause i thought you should know

Eddie ❣️

Because you thought I should know? 

                                                                                                 because i wanted you to know

                                                                                                     because i wanted you to know!!!

 because i wanted you to know…

Eddie ❣️

Ok but do you think the mom knew? 

let me send you an article analysing elio’s relationship with his mom

ALSO YES

2:13 pm

Eddie ❣️

Sandwich of the day.

[1 image attached]

are you gonna be ok?

Eddie ❣️

Do you think it’s appropriate to put this many olives on a sandwich?

In what world is this ok?

omg poor baby :( 

just pick them off the sandwich

Eddie ❣️

I’m an adult. 

I’m going to walk jump off the 53rd floor.

ok!

can i have ur watch 

the black with the leather brown arm band 

Eddie ❣️

Just modified the will. It’s yours. 

yayyy

Saturday 8:23 pm

Eddie ❣️

Hi, where are Christopher’s Spider-Man pajamas?

in his cupboard, 2nd shelf

Eddie ❣️

👍🏻

10:24 pm

Eddie, I need to call you

Eddie ❣️

Are you ok?

I didn’t steal your watch

Eddie I promise I would never, ever steal from you

I don’t know how, it's in my bag

[1 pic attached]

I thought I should clear this up immediately. I will return the watch, and I am happy for you to check my bag at the end of every shift

Eddie ❣️

Buck, I put it there.

what why

fuck

eddie i can not take this 

Eddie ❣️

Please?

its YOURS

Eddie ❣️

Well, now it’s yours.

My friend told me that 92 million tonnes of fashion waste goes to landfill. 

Think of this as recycling. 

ur unreal 

thank you

its so beautiful

ill never take it off ever

Eddie ❣️

It was actually a company gift from when I left Dallas.

woah they gave u gifts like this???

are they hiring

can i send u my resume

Eddie ❣️

Buck …  

kiddinggg

Eddie ❣️

So what did you do today?

voice message 02:49

Eddie ❣️ saved this message

Eddie ❣️

INCOMING CALL

Sunday 1:11 pm

Eddie ❣️

[1 image attached] 

Beautiful day for video games and pizza.

[1 image attached]

beautiful day at the pier!

you should bring chris here

Eddie ❣️

Can I bring him now if that’s ok?

Denny’s coming over soon, I’d rather they play outside.

                                                          HELL YEAAAAAA

SEE YOU GUYS SOON

p.s bring sunscreen  

Eddie ❣️

For you or for the kids?

just bring it

5:21 pm

ghostrider to maverick

ive got a visual on the target

i repeat

The eagles have landed

Eddie 💌 

Copied Ghostrider. 

I’ve locked eyes with the targets.

Can I get your co-ordinates?

at your six o clock maverick 

Eddie 💌 

Negative.

That would be my twelve o clock. 

omg cut me some slack

Eddie 💌

Come say hi to Hen and Karen.

sir yes sir 

Eddie 💌 

Did you secure the goods? 

affirmative sir

Eddie 💌 

Where’s mine?

You only have 2

Wait

im gonna get u the three scoops of icecream so u can have all the flavours

let me just hand these out to the kids first

Eddie 💌

This is why you’re my number one.

10:34 pm

i turned off the TV and the lights

don’t worry, i can still drop Chris off at school in the morning

Monday 7:05 am

Eddie ❣️

Thank you and you could’ve slept over. 

Also, I have a half day. I will pick Chris up. 

ok honey?

Eddie ❣️

I’m sorry?

WHERES the honey

ill put some in ur tea

Eddie ❣️

Oh.

Pantry, second shelf.

tyyyyyy

its ready!

9:15 am

Eddie ❣️

Why didn’t you tell me she has a new album?

Short ‘n’ Sweet?

awh like you

Eddie ❣️

What? 

nothing!!!

Eddie ❣️

Ok …

Ravi’s going to try and get us tickets. Would you be free in November? 

let me check with my boss 

Hi Mr Diaz, can I please get a day off in November? 

It’s for a personal commitment.

Eddie ❣️

Jackass.

12:23 pm

fact of the day: ferrets, dogs, and monkeys were the most popular pets in the Roman Empire!!

i wish i owned a little monkey

hed be my best friend

Eddie ❣️

Can you believe they used ferrets to hunt rats?

Ferrets are big rats. 

What were they thinking?

oooh whered u learn that

Eddie ❣️

I was a history teacher before this. The Roman Empire was always a hit with kids, it was such a wacky topic.

WHAT

WHEN

EDDIE???

chris didnt even tell me ….

when were u a history teacher??

Eddie ❣️

When Jesus was a little boy.

Seven years ago.

wow

did u like it better than this job?

were u a highschool teacher?

whats ur favourite topic to teach?

and favourite historical fact?

if you could trade lives with ONE historical figure which one would it be

which president was the weirdest

favourite period movie?

WAIT

were u one of those history teach/coaches

Eddie ❣️

I could’ve taken our dodgeball team to the state championships. It’s not funny.

Hold on, wait until my lunch hour?

I’ll call you.

Also, the Anglo-Zanzibar war is the shortest war in history. It was only 38 minutes long!

And Russian ran out of vodka 22 hours after WWII ended, because they were celebrating so hard.

The Boston Molasses Disaster keeps me up some nights.

Ok, I’ll call you later!

Wait.

125 Mind-Blowing Historic Facts & Trivia That Are Almost Too Weird to Be True

I used to read facts from this and ask kids to guess if they were true or false.

i just

wow

thanks for telling me all these things

and also whats ur favourite book and favourite historical figure

whose someone super underrated 

favourite period in history?

im looking super super forward to your call!!!

2:03 pm

Eddie ❣️

INCOMING CALL

3:05 pm

you’re so articulate and smart 

i genuinely wouldve loved to be in your class eddie 

thanks again

feels like i just got 200 times smarter

and we’ll finish this convo tonight!!!!

Eddie ❣️

Thanks, Buck.

I forgot how much I missed teaching. 

you can teach me anytime!!!

Eddie ❣️

10 page report on Ancient Sparta on my desk tonight.

sir yessir

Tuesday 4:56 pm

Eddie ❣️

Bridgerton?

ur already home??

i dont see you in the driveway

Eddie ❣️

I’m about to leave the office, just wanted to check if you were free to stay back tonight.

yessir

Eddie ❣️

👍🏻

5:42 pm 

eddie you better not be opening the cupcake container

why did i hear the lid snap

Eddie ❣️

Why can’t I eat one?

BECAUSE ITS FOR THE BAKE SALE

Eddie ❣️

Whose gonna know?

YOU JUST GOT HOME

go change first

Eddie ❣️

And then I can have one?

EDDIE

THE CUPCAKES ARE BAKE SALE ONLY!!!!!

go to the pantry 

Eddie ❣️

DOUBLE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

You made these??

yeah :)

do you like them?

Eddie ❣️

I’m going to name my firstborn after these. Holy fuck.

😭😭😭

christopher is ur first born

Eddie ❣️

Don’t tell him about these.

the type of greed they talk about in the bible

11:12 pm 

ok i have one but dont laugh!!!

i came up with it on the drive

Eddie ❣️

What?

he’s so big i felt it in my kidney 

finally had somebody who could fill me

my god how i miss living in sydney 

Eddie ❣️

When did you live in Sydney??

oh it’s a long story for text

Eddie ❣️

INCOMING CALL

Wednesday 10:23 am

Eddie ❣️

Bridgerton tonight? 

i thought you were working from home?

did something come up at the office??

should i pick chris up from school then??

Eddie ❣️

I am at home. 

Just come by whenever you’re free. I will pick Chris up.

ok! yay! 

12:14 pm

Eddie ❣️

Who is that woman?

my girlfriend

JOKING

someone dropped something so loudly omg

i thought that was a car crash

wait where are u

hellooo

Eddie ❣️

I moved to the freezer section.

I guess you were too busy to notice. 

sorryyyy

youve got my undivided attention

Eddie ❣️

Don’t stop on my account. 

What was she typing in your phone?

how much i owe in child support

Eddie ❣️

I hate you.

:(

Eddie ❣️

Hurry up this ice cream is going to melt in my cart.

Ok nevermind I’ll just go to check out. 

WAITTTT

she left her car keys in my basket

EDDIE

TELL EVERYONE IM NOT CUTTING IN THE LINE

IM WITH YOU!!!

3:01 pm

Eddie ❣️

What was that song you played?

The one when we were doing laundry?

“It’s hard to leave you when I get you everywhere?”

love me not, rayvn lenae 

all this time im thinking we could never be a pairrr

Eddie ❣️

No, I don’t need you, but I miss you, come here … 

Chris just walked out! 

See you at home. 

yayyy my fave diaz

Eddie ❣️

You wound me.

8:14 pm

theres something wrong with you

Eddie ❣️

I’M SORRY.

It just happened.

you SUFFOCATED ME 

WITH A PILLOW

Eddie ❣️

It was an accident. 

And Chris thought it was funny.

i left fearing for my life

being that competitive is a DISORDER

are u gonna laugh when chris is suffocating kids for beating him at video games???

Eddie ❣️

I’m sorry you’re right.

Rematch tomorrow?

GET FUCKEDDD

Thursday 8:42 am 

Eddie ❣️

[1 image attached]

why are you flipping off a coffee machine??

AND IT’S A HILDY 

#needthatsobad

Eddie ❣️

Take her, I beg. 

You don’t like the coffee machine at home?

its ok

but its no hildy

what the fuck 

eddie

HILDYS AT MY DOOR????

DID YOU SEND HER TO KILL ME??

HELP!!!!!!

Eddie 💘💘💘

I am currently busy with work related obligations

and can not attend to my phone. I will reply as soon 

as possible. Thank you for your patience. 

This is an automated message.

DUMBASS

I KNOW THATS NOT AUTOMATED

YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO SET THAT UP

eddieeeeeee

thank youuu <33333

You’re the kindest, most generous person I know.

 I appreciate you so much, I can’t put it into words. You are just so wonderful

<333333 

coffee on me!!!

come to my place after ur pitch?

9:18 am

Raviiiii

eddie smacked his head against the door frame so hard i heard it shake from the breakroom 

how do you know it was Eddie?

Raviiiii

the head sounded empty 

also josh sent me a video 

[1 video attached]

DO NOT talk about your superior like that 

and has Josh finished his part of the pitch? 

why is he on his phone?

Raviiiii

lord have mercy, there’s two of them

sorry, Eddie’s just been worked up about this pitch

is he gonna be ok enough for it? he’s still not answering my texts

Raviiiii

it’s ok Buck

josh finished his bit, eddie already proofed it

and he’s fine!!!!

he’s just practicing his bit 

[1 image attached]

💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

RAWWWWW

slow and passionate 

UGGHHHH 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

imprinted in my GUTS

til his office CRUMBLES

window to floors to the front door

he’s so gorg im gonna kms

need to chew him up like a piece of gum

his cute little tie 😭

my sweet little angel

give him a good luck kiss for me

Raviiiii 

that is MY SUPERIOR you’re talking about

im calling security 

FREAK

like seriously 

be normal 

i hate you so bad

cs i get it now 

[1 image attached]

whys he kinda …

FUCKKKK OFFFFFFF

he’s MARRIED

Raviiiii

not to you 🤗

im gonna tell him u used AI for ur bit

Raviiiii

I DIDNT

WHAT RHE FUCK 

🤗🤗🤗

10:52 am

Eddie 💘💘💘

PITCH COMPLETE!!!!!!

On my way home right now, are you free?

Wait, did you still want me to come to yours?

yes! i assembled hildy

wait

holy shit 

YOU SECURED IT????

Eddie 💘💘💘

YES TEAM, WE ARE A GO!

HELLL FUCKING YEAHHH BABYYY

MY MAN MY MAN 

COOKIES AND CREAM???

Eddie 💘💘💘

Get the Chewy Gooey Cookie.

Fuck it, get the Tiramisu too.

im so proud of you 😁😁😁

Eddie 💘💘💘

Thanks, Buck.

4:23 pm

Eddie 💘💘💘

Where is Chris's special ice cream bowl?

left cabinet at the top

Eddie 💘💘💘

It’s not.

if i come in there and find it …

 11:42 pm

Eddie 💘💘💘

Everything fucking sucks.

Eddie there’s another whole season of Bridgerton 

Eddie 💘💘💘

Not like this.

Not like season 2.

ok true

Eddie 💘💘💘

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Just pull the trigger already. 

well the important thing is that u were calm

it sucks cos kate and anthony arent really in s3

so much wasted potential 

Eddie 💘💘💘

INCOMING CALL

Friday 11:19 am

omg ur building is huge

[1 image attached] 

which window is urs 

Eddie 💘💘💘

I’m on the 32nd floor. 

WOAH

if i screamed really loud could you hear it????

Eddie 💘💘💘

Please don’t. 

Where are you meeting Maddie?

flame on cafe at 11:30

why

Eddie 💘💘💘

Oh, that’s really close to my office. 

If you end up finishing up before 2, maybe we could get something? 

I could give you a tour of the office, if you’d like.

OMG THE GYM SAUNA TOO???

but no !!!! don’t stay back on my account

its ur half day

Eddie 💘💘💘

I don’t mind.

you know what would be really cool?

if you and ravi joined me and maddie

Eddie 💘💘💘

No, because then I’ll have to bring Josh.

eddie pleaseeee

we’ll finish before 1, so you wont have to run to pick up chris

if you wait for me youll be late

Eddie 💘💘💘

Ok, fine.

We’ll be a little late. Is 12:10 ok?

perfect!

11:54 am

Raviiiii

eddie bought a new shirt and flowers

are u eloping?

dont joke!!!!

i invited you guys to brunch with me and maddie??

how did he get a new shirt

who r the flowers for 🤨

arent u guys working??

Raviiiii

he ran out when our boss went to the toilet 

GOD

im in love with him

like i need to kms

so hard

Raviiiii

k

can you order the ham, egg and haloumi breakfast mug for me?

we’re about to leave 

i want to eat as soon as we sit down

im so hungry

what does eddie want?

Raviiiii

KYS

12:32 pm

eddie control yourself

Eddie 💘💘💘

I CAN’T.

Why didn’t you tell me Josh and Maddie are karaoke/trivia bar friends?

I DIDNT KNOW

shes been in LA for barely 3 months

idk how theyre so close

Eddie 💘💘💘

I’m going to the bathroom.

☹️

dont u dare jump out the window

i really like your shirt, dont ruin it

Eddie 💘💘💘

Thank you, just had it lying around and I thought I’d wear it.

really? i swear u were wearing a black shirt when u left this morning

 but i think the pink looks nice on you

very pretty 

and the flowers are so gorgeous, you’re so thoughtful

maddie loves tulips 

are you ok? ur so red

wait ill get more water

12:35 pm

Raviiiii

WHY r u texting eddie 

HES IN FRONT OF U

is he sick?

whats he so red for

Raviiiii

r u fucking dumb??

oooh ur shirt is so pretty eddie

so fucking embarrassing 

KYS

Saturday 8:41 am

Eddie 💌

Check your email.

ok

wow! thats an impressive amount of detail 

Eddie 💌

Is it too much?

i think that if this is what will help you feel comfortable with 

chris going to a birthday party, then its completely ok

Eddie 💌

I don’t know.

I’m freaking out.

eddie hey its ok

absolutely send the email to dennys moms

and just remember that theyre DOCTORS

well karens a rocket scientist but still a doctor

theyre the safest people you could leave chris with

the park has a cafe right across from it

Buck shared a location 📍

you can sit there, just keep an eye out

Eddie 💌

Thanks, Buck.

do u want me to come?

just for back up

Eddie 💌

That would be great.

You can have my back any day.

😊😊😊

or you know

you could have mine

Eddie 💌

Deal.

It’s selfish, it’s unfair, it’s … Buck hates to admit it but it is slightly unethical. He should put a stop to the lines blurring between him and Eddie. These late nights whispering into the phone, like they’re conspirators, or–or secret lovers. Those half-days spent drifting between grocery store aisles and brunch spots and daydreams of Eddie’s eyes. 

It’s a cliff’s edge and Buck wants to jump, he wants to give his heart a break. But he can’t do it. Not when Eddie’s voice drifts through the phone, or when Eddie bumps their shoulders together in the pasta aisle like an overgrown kid when a song from their playlist hums over the speakers. It’s ridiculous, that even just a ghost of touch can do so much to Buck. God, when heir hands graze over the dinner table or reaching for the jug, Buck feels like a school girl with a crush. 

It’s nothing more than that , Buck convinces himself.  

Eddie’s attractive. Eddie is smart. Eddie is always in close proximity. Eddie is funny and kind and competent and handsome and sensitive and attentive and—he’s never, ever going to choose Buck.

Chapter Text

“That’s the one thing I miss about Texas. Drive far enough into the desert and you could actually see the stars”, Eddie takes a swig of his whiskey and looks up at the sky, irritated. “I mean, what the fuck is this?” Eddie grumbles, and he’s right. The sky is smothered by an ugly fog, not an inkling of stars or life anywhere.

But Buck doesn’t agree or disagree. There’s something else nagging at him. It’s just—this is the first time Eddie’s ever said anything good about Texas.

“Can I ask you something?” 

Buck should shut the fuck up.

They’re having a perfectly good time hanging by the pool in an all-expenses paid for suite in an Anaheim hotel. Last minute, Eddie’s team and a few other employees had been chosen to attend a conference down in Anaheim. Of course, Eddie had made a whole day of it, giving Christopher the day off school and inviting Buck along. 

‘Staycation’, Eddie had called it when Christopher asked, is it really a holiday if you’re only thirty minutes away from home? 

It’s been pretty exciting, even if it’s only thirty minutes away from home. The hotel has everything, from an arcade room to an ice-cream sundae bar. Chris and Buck have explored it all in the several hours Eddie was busy at the conference. They’ve both promised not to tell Eddie that they had five ice cream sundaes between them (two for Chris, three for Buck).

“Mm?” Eddie hums. 

Buck doesn’t really want to look at him. 

A week ago, Eddie had shaved off his mustache. Much to Buck’s devastation and Chris’s relief (mustache kisses are too scratchy). He still looks just as handsome, which Buck is monumentally annoyed by. He thought maybe Eddie might be one of those guys who look terrible without facial hair, but no, Eddie is still perfect and proportionate and beautiful. He’s gone for a scruffier look today, which Buck has been trying not to think about, because paired with the pink suit Eddie’s wearing (he only changed into it for the ‘after party’) … Buck needs to kiss him. Just one time. 

They’re on the bottom floor of the hotel, so their balcony door leads right out to the gigantic lit-up pool. The lights gleam and dance over Eddie’s face, casting a blue hue that softens him into something like a hologram. Buck could only conjure this image of Eddie up using his imagination–the loose strands of hair falling into his face, pink flushed cheekbones matching his suit trousers, and the top three buttons of his shirt undone, giving way to his gorgeous, sculpted chest–

“Mm?” Eddie hums.

It’s been nagging at Buck, since he started with the Diaz family. Every phone call he heard between Eddie and Shannon for those first two weeks circled back to the same question: how soon can you leave Texas?  

From what Buck could gather, Eddie was just as frustrated and would tiredly sigh: not soon enough. 

“If you hated Texas so much, why didn’t you come to LA with Chris and Shannon?”

Eddie startles and looks away from the mottled sky down to his whiskey glass. 

Buck wants to retract it immediately and apologise. He shouldn’t be so nosy—he should remember boundaries . But Eddie beats him to it. 

“I–I didn’t know. I didn’t know Chris and Shannon were in LA”, Eddie doubles down. “I came home from work and all of their stuff was gone”. 

There’s several painful moments of silence between them as Buck opens his mouth, then closes it again, then makes a sound like he’s being strangled with a seatbelt. What the fuck? 

“You can ask me why, Buck”. 

“Ok, why?” Buck bites, trying to make sense of it. Why would Shannon take Chris and leave, just like that? 

“Because I’m not a good husband. And I was a terrible father”.

Buck wants to interject and say no. Eddie’s the best father he knows. Buck’s said so a hundred times, and he means it more and more every time. If only Eddie could understand what it means for him to be so kind, and so good after the way he was raised.

“I didn’t know about Chris until he was two years old”, Eddie grimaces, pressing his thumb against the rim of his glass. 

Buck didn’t know that. But he thinks it makes sense from the way there are no baby pictures of Eddie holding Chris. Or the fact that Chris had no idea his dad had been a history teacher once. Maybe Eddie was a teacher while Chris wasn’t in his life and switched career paths after.

“Shannon showed up with him at my doorstep after he got his CP diagnosis. We met in college–you know that–but after graduation she just … disappeared. I never thought it was because she was busy raising our kid. When she came back, it wasn’t even a question I took them both in”.

“Long story short, we were so broke—like, I was working two jobs on top of teaching broke—that I had to go and beg my dad for a job at his company”. Eddie shakes his head, like he’s trying to erase the memory from his mind. “Mind you, we hadn’t talked in years and he didn’t even know about Shannon or Chris. I should’ve never trusted him, I know that—“

Buck cuts him off, because he’s not about to hear Eddie beat himself up over something that happened what, four years ago? “You were doing what you thought was right, Eddie. No one can blame you for that”. 

“Still. It was a mistake. The beginning of the end for me and Shannon. We got married right before we moved closer to my parents. I wanted to protect her. I knew she’d never hear the end of it if we were ‘living in sin’. Even back then”, Eddie lets out a humourless laugh, taking another sip of his whiskey. “We knew this marriage was never going to work but … Chris”. 

Because he’s the answer to everything in Eddie’s life. 

“At least medical care was partially covered through the company and so was childcare. We could stop relying on food stamps for every meal. We weren’t worried about getting evicted anymore”.

Buck can’t imagine the Diaz’s stretched so thin. By no means do they live excessively or lavishly, but they are well off, especially in such an expensive city like LA. And suddenly–it clicks. 

Eddie’s generous, not just to Buck, but to everyone around him. He tips extra, always. He’s an endless donator to Goodwill, from toys, to old books and clothes that don’t fit Chris anymore. He always carries extra cash to hand out. If Ravi likes one of Eddie’s shirts, it’ll be on Ravi’s desk the next day (in his size, in a brand new packet). If Buck likes anything Eddie has, it’s his. If Chris mentions he’s been craving a food, or liked one of his classmates' toys, it’ll just appear in the Diaz house. 

Eddie gives so much, because he knows what it’s like to have nothing. 

“But then one day”, Eddie heaves a sigh and Buck can tell, even now, it pains Eddie to reminisce, “I came home and everything was gone. My mom threatened Shannon–told her she’d file for Chris’s custody if Shannon didn’t give them more access”.

Buck blinks rapidly, grappling with those words. How could they?

Who would take away their child’s child  just to prove a point? Who could threaten something so callous and cruel, knowing how much grief it would cause? After everything that Shannon and Eddie sacrificed to raise Chris, Eddie’s parents were going to take him without a thought?

He knows Eddie has issues with his parents, but he didn’t know the extent of it. From what Buck understands, Eddie’s gone no-contact with his parents. He talks to his sisters consistently, but when they bring up something related to their parents, Eddie respectfully asks them to change the subject or advises them to stop listening to their parents.

And Buck also knows that Chris doesn’t like Eddie’s parents either. It came up once during a ‘family tree’ project–Buck had accidentally slipped and asked, ‘ What are your grandparents like? ’ and Chris had simply explained, ‘They make mom and dad sad. And they fight all the time’. Buck wasn’t sure who was doing the fighting–Eddie and Shannon, or Eddie’s parents, or all four of them against each other. But he hadn’t asked for clarification. 

“I couldn’t hate Shannon. When she told me the things my mom said, I was–I was grateful. I said I was glad she took Chris away from them, even though it hurt me to be left like that”.

Eddie frowns deeply, every ounce of hurt pouring on to his face. Buck can’t even imagine what it must have been like to come home and find everything stripped bare, the people you love the most in the world, gone.

“She did the one thing I could never do, she stood up to my parents”.

Buck considers that, he’s not sure if that makes up for everything. “But…she didn’t let you come to LA?”

“No, she did. We fought about it everyday”. 

Eddie rubs at his temple, where his headaches bloom after a long workday. After phone calls and meetings, and several things that have fallen behind, Eddie presses his fingers to his temples, that same way. 

Buck wonders if he was the same after arguments with Shannon.

“But you have to understand, I couldn’t quit my job and just come. I couldn’t bear to think about how we used to live–food stamps and handouts from my parents”, Eddie grimaces like he’s being catapulted back into the past, to those days. He flexes his fingers against his glass, trying to shake it off. 

“We needed money and there was no guarantee I’d get a job in LA, so I decided I’d stay in Texas and work my ass off. After everything with my parents, I left El Paso to work for the Dallas branch. And I landed this job”.

Eddie still doesn’t look happy. His face is clouded with regret, and Buck can’t understand why. Of course, Dallas was awful,it was so far away from Chris and Shannon, but Eddie did what he needed to. He sent the money back to Shannon. He worked that job so he could get promoted and qualified for the LA position. All of it paid off. Buck decides he should say that, when–

“I know Shannon hates me for that, too. I hate myself sometimes, too. Every minute in Dallas was hell. But it paid off. I mean, really, it paid off, Buck. We wouldn’t have any of this”, Eddie gestures around. “If I hadn’t gotten this job … there was a time where we’d have to line up for soup kitchens. Now, Chris can eat five times a day. Fuck, he could eat take away seven days a week. It wouldn’t make a dent in my wallet. If Shannon was here …” Eddie shakes his head, secret smile on his lips, like even the idea of it is laughable. “I’d get her every single dress she’s ever wanted. Going from getting evicted and staying with my abuela to sending money to her so she doesn’t have to worry so much about her bills …"

Eddie trails off, swirling the whiskey around in his glass, washing away all those memories. 

“That’s the life I work for Buck. It’s the life I wanted to give Shannon five years ago. But there’s so much fall out. All that time I’ve missed—I know Shannon can’t forgive me. I know when she looks at me, she thinks of the life she lost. I was never the partner she could rely on the way she needed .I know she doesn’t care–I could make all the money in the world, it wouldn’t bring her back to me, and it’s my fault”.

“But I miss her”, Eddie confesses. It's whispered, just a secret between them and the moonbeams flickering against the pool's surface. It's almost like the words are hard to say. 

“She’s my wife. We know each other in a way that no one else knows us. It makes the divorce that much harder but—”

Buck startles, beer sloshing against the curve of his fist as he turns to face Eddie. “Eddie, I’m so sorry I didn’t know. When did you guys decide that?”

“Shannon sent me the papers last week”.

Buck let’s out another sympathetic noise. “I’m sorry”.

“It’s ok”, Eddie shrugs casually, like this doesn’t change everything. “You’re the first person I’ve told. Ravi saw the papers on my desk, so he knows. But I didn’t want to talk about it. Josh probably knows. You know today he didn’t even pretend to snore when I was rehearsing the presentation?”

Josh definitely knows, Buck realises. Because the other day, Josh sent Eddie home with a bottle of his favourite whiskey. He called it a gift, for the success they had with the pitch but …

“Anyway. Now you know”, Eddie sighs. 

“Fuck, Eddie. Are you ok?”

“Well, I’ve already cried about, if that’s what you’re asking”.

“What’d you cry about?” Buck asks gently.

“The hurt. It hurts that she doesn’t want to give this new life a try with me. She can’t even pretend to stay for the money, or the house, or fuck, I don’t know, our son. It hurts that nothing I can do makes her want me. It hurts that I’m almost–I’m relieved she doesn't want me. It’s finally over. This hurting, this constant bickering”.

Eddie is rubbing his knuckles over his sternum, almost trying to chase the pain away. Buck wishes he could reach over and hold Eddie until the ache dissipates into the night air.

“We loved each other, it’s not like we wanted to break eachother–but we’re not meant to be together this way. We just need to let it go. Maybe someday she’ll be able to forgive me for what I put her through”. 

Buck doesn’t really understand that—what is there to forgive Eddie for? Buck supposes that’s why he’s not somebody’s husband. He doesn’t understand why people are punished for their sacrifices. 

“Honestly, I’m glad we’re getting divorced. I am!” Eddie asserts, because Buck pins him with a look. No matter how dysfunctional a marriage, it can’t feel good to lose such a fundamental part of your identity. 

“It that means we’ve got something left. At least we can look at each other and say, ‘I love you so much, I’m going to let you go’. Maybe, we haven’t lost everything. All I’ve ever wanted is to make Shannon happy. Just once, I wanted her to look at me and see something good. And fuck”, Eddie sighs. “If those papers is the way to do it, then I’ll do it. And then she can kiss her surgeon or whatever they’re gonna do”.

“Why …” Buck trails off, confused. He's officially lost the thread of this conversation. “She’s kissing her surgeon?”

“She met someone”, Eddie says bitterly. So he’s not over this, Buck observes. “A surgeon. Someone from her mom’s hospital”.

Buck scoffs, imagining the surgeons' punchable face. Probably not even half as handsome as Eddie.

“What a dick”, Buck declares, disgusted at this guy's nerve. Doesn’t he have a job to do instead of fraternising with patients?

Eddie makes a contemplative noise, “He’s actually really nice”.

Buck almost flails out of his chair. 

“Wait, you talked to him?”

“Yeah”, Eddie nods, like he can’t believe himself either. “I don’t know. Shannon asked him to tell me nothing happened between them”.

“Wow”, Buck whistles lowly.

It must show on Buck’s face that what he really means is, ‘I would’ve reached through the phone and slapped him’ . 

Eddie makes a noise of agreement, “I had to remind myself this guy saves peoples lives”. 

Ok. Maybe Buck shouldn’t be so quick to react. Still, surgeon or not, there’s no one in that can compare to Eddie (in Buck’s completed biased, lovesick opinion). And God, Eddie actually looks a little too sad about all of it, his mouth drooping at the edges like he’s struggling to understand of this. 

So Buck goads him on, “Yeah, but does he know how to use a spreadsheet like you? Can he use it for project tracking and review like you can?” Buck takes a swig of his lukewarm beer, “Does he even know how to visualise data?” 

“Buck”.

Eddie laughs at how worked up and spiteful Buck is being, despite not even knowing the guy. It’s mostly an act to boost up Eddie, not that he needs it, but it probably hasn’t been easy having to digest that his wife has moved on before the divorce papers have been signed. 

“No, I’m serious. Show me the most advanced formula he can input”. Out of the corner of his eye, Buck can see that Eddie’s smiling unabashedly now–canine teeth and glimmering irises–and Buck wants to keep him like that forever. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Lame as hell”. 

It’s awful, but Buck feels a tinge of gratitude for the surgeon who swooped in and hammered the final nail into the coffin of Eddie’s marriage. Of course, this is terrible. The divorce will cause a lot of sadness, confusion and shock in the Diaz family, but Buck will be there. He’ll pick up every piece, he’ll support Eddie and comfort Chris. He won’t let them down and maybe … Eddie will finally see him. 

Eddie raises his glass between them, “Yeah, fucking motherfucker”. 

Buck clinks his beer bottle against Eddie’s glass. Their fingers brush for a moment and Buck ignores the blaze that roars in his chest, in favour of looking at Eddie gulp down the last of his whiskey. Buck will never tire looking at Eddie. Buck’s gaze flickers from his glistening mouth, to his capable fingers wrapped around the glass, and then finally, when Eddie closes eyes, his eyelashes fanning against his delicate skin. Eddie is all the beautiful things in the world. 

Buck doesn’t know how anybody could give him up.

“You’ll find someone too”. It comes out hoarse, far too thick with longing. Because Buck doesn’t want it to be anyone else, he wants to be the one Eddie chooses. He’s been right here all along. 

Eddie’s eyes flutter open and he looks amused, like he can’t believe the shit coming out of Buck’s mouth. “You think so?”

I’m right here, Buck wants to scream.

Instead, Buck groans in fake-annoyance. “Eddie, come on. You’re smart, you’re funny, you can pull off a mustache. Not to mention that big, fat, thick—”

“Buck!” Eddie slaps his hand over Buck’s mouth, scandalised. 

Christopher is asleep, but their voices are probably still carrying into the room through the balcony door. It’s slightly ajar, just in case Christopher needs anything. What Chris doesn’t need is hearing filth from Buck’s mouth. 

“Wallet! I was gonna say wallet!” Buck defends. He’s lying, obviously he’s lying. But Eddie’s laughing properly now, eyes are crinkling and shoulders are dropped, relaxed and swaying as the whiskey seeps into his bloodstream—Buck doesn’t mind carrying on childishly for Eddie. 

Eddie rolls his eyes, pulls his hand back, then stands up. “Yeah, that doesn’t hurt, does it?”

Buck downs the rest of his beer and clacks it down on the little table between them. He follows Eddie into the hotel room, treading in carefully so he doesn’t wake Chris up. 

“So, can I grab something from the minibar?”

Eddie gives him a venomous look, hands on his hips and all. His special ‘I’m not fucking around’ look that has been perfected from years fatherhood (and being an older brother). Even Buck, a grown man, shrinks under that look, because he’s afraid he’s going to be put on time out.

“Fuck no. There are snacks in Chris’s bag, don’t piss me off”. 

“Ok, ok, sorry”, Buck raises his hands in mock-surrender. 

Eddie snorts, then busies himself with pouring himself another glass of whiskey, so Buck takes his chance to be honest. Eddie deserves to know that he’s perfect and wanted, and would have absolutely no trouble finding someone new. 

“You know I meant that, right?” Buck asks, fishing out a packet of chocolate cookies from Chris’s bag. “You’ve got a big heart, an amazing kid and such a wonderful life”, Buck sits at the end of Eddie’s bed, cookies in his lap. He rips the packet open, continuing,  “And you–you’re so generous and you’re kind. You’re thoughtful and brave, and so handsome”. It’s getting away from Buck, he’s too caught up in the floaty feeling right now, all soft edges and Eddie’s good cologne. “I mean your eyes –”

Eddie turns around abruptly, sloshing whiskey over his glass and on to his knuckles. God, Buck wants to get on his knees and lick it off Eddie. Or give him a tissue, to clean it up. He should probably do that. 

“Alright, alright. You’re not so bad yourself”, Eddie waves him off, taking one last gulp of his whiskey, before setting the glass down. “Stop fishing for a compliment”. 

“Am not! I’m being serious, Eddie”, Buck crosses his arms over his chest, petulant. He’s being childish, he knows, but he doesn’t understand why Eddie hasn’t shed his inability to accept a compliment. 

For a split second, Eddie’s gaze flickers down to the pout on Buck’s lips. 

Oh.

When Buck doesn’t look away, Eddie takes it as permission to look at him. Really look at him, in an indulgent, lazy way, like he never has. Eddie’s eyes rove all over–from Buck’s birthmark, to his exposed collarbones under his singlet straps, to the hair dusting his forearms. Stupidly, Buck hopes Eddie is pleased with what he's seeing.

And he thinks Eddie might be pleased, because he doesn't stop. Eddie looks and looks, drawing out the painful seconds where Buck's flush grows deeper because of the intensity of his attention. Like Buck is a canvas, being painted specially for Eddie's collection. Buck likes it, he wants Eddie to take his fill until he’s sated. Buck wants to be treated like something Eddie owns, because Eddie takes such good care of his things. He wouldn’t mind it: being for Eddie, fulfilling his every whim. Heat pools in Buck’s belly at that thought of Eddie using him for his pleasure, until he can't think or breathe anything but Eddie’s name. 

As if he can sense it, Eddie’s gaze flickers down to Buck’s abdomen. 

It’s utterly embarrassing, but Buck’s legs spread open at their own volition. He wants Eddie so much, his body is subconsciously doing the work for him. Muscle memory from all his dreams of this moment. 

“Aren’t you sweet?” Eddie murmurs. 

Buck blanches, dropping his arms from his chest. What?

He’s so flustered, he’s at a loss for words. His brain is jumbled, static filled and malfunctioning because of Eddie’s wild eyes and low rumbling voice.

Eddie takes one, two, three strides, from the bar cart, to the open bracket of Buck’s legs. 

Buck doesn’t know what’s happening, or why. What’s made Eddie decide right now, that this is what he wants– Buck is what he wants. He’s clutching the bedsheets with so much strength, he’s sure if he looked down, his knuckles would be white. 

“Don’t get shy on me now”. 

Buck doesn’t know how to breathe .  

Both of Eddie’s hands come up to Buck’s face, forcing Buck to look back up at Eddie. His thumbs draw soothing patterns against Buck’s cheekbones, cooling down his flushed face. His hands are so big , they cover the expanse of Buck’s neck effortlessly. 

Buck’s sure Eddie can feel his pulse jackhammering away. 

He’s still looking at Buck, but it’s softer. He's taking his time mapping out every inch of Buck's face underneath his fingertips, like he would disappear. Buck wouldn't move from here, not for all the money in the world. 

“I love this”, Eddie murmurs, tracing a finger against Buck’s brow bone, where his birthmark sits.

Buck brings one desperate hand up against Eddie’s hip, clutching him close. His other hand comes to rest on top of Eddie’s, so they’re intertwined over the curve of Buck’s jaw. He doesn’t want Eddie to go anywhere. He wants it so badly, it feels like a fever tremoring through his body, rearranging his entire being. Who knows if this will be one night or the rest of their lives? 

“Eddie”. 

It’s a plea. A desperate, hollow whine. He’s waited and waited for Eddie, for this exact moment, and he wants to see it through. Just one time, and he’ll never ask Eddie for anything again. 

“Buck”.

It’s an answer. 

Eddie leans down, just enough so their noses brush. He’s tentative, seeking permission, and Buck would give it to him if he could find it in himself to move. But Buck is just watching with open eyes, because he can’t believe this–Eddie’s hand cradled against his jaw, or the way his breath is short and shallow, like he’s been running through a storm. All of it. These hotel walls and Eddie’s suit and Buck’s swim shorts clinging to his thighs. None of it feels real, or like anything Buck imagined for their first kiss. 

Their mouths are open, suspended in time against each other. Panting, breathing each other's air in and out. Eddie’s waiting, or Buck’s waiting. Maybe they’re both waiting on each other. It’s been simmering for so long–all this anticipation and pining–Buck can feel his hands trembling against Eddie’s body. 

Another moment passes. A hotel guest outside splashes into the pool. Neither make a move. A flutter of Eddie’s eyelashes, a needy whimper climbing up Buck’s throat, Eddie’s thumb coaxing the hinge of Buck’s jaw to open wider. 

Do you want this as much as I do?

Eddie’s tongue presses against Buck’s top row of teeth.

Yes, yes, yes .

“Eddie?”

Eddie jumps back, startled by the knock on the door. Nothing’s happened. Absolutely nothing happened. It could be denied as a moment of drunken weakness. But it feels a lot more than that, with the way they jolt out of their skin. Eddie almost collides into the bar cart. Buck sends cookies flying across the room when his leg jerks in reaction, afraid that Eddie’s going to fall and hurt himself.

“Sorry, but you’re not answering your phone”, Josh sighs from outside the door. “You’ve gotta come down. The Lone Star team has changed their mind on us, again”. Josh huffs. Eddie’s unmoving, still looking at the door, as if it’s unlocked and Josh has actually been in here the whole time, catching them in the act. Josh knocks on the door, louder this time. “Eddie, are you there?”

“Yeah! I got it Josh”, Eddie yells back, running a hand over his face. He’s frustrated, Buck can tell that much. He’s breathing too hard, worryingly so. Buck can see his hands are shaking, 

So he’s upset they were interrupted? Maybe Eddie will come back and they can pick up where they left off. Buck stands up, moving closer to Eddie–to soothe him, assure him, try again with him.

Buck’s hand hovers near Eddie’s shoulder, “Should I–”

Eddie picks up his phone from the table behind him, intently focused on looking anywhere but Buck. 

“Don’t wait up”, Eddie mutters, clicking the door open. 

Chapter Text

If Eddie hadn’t told Buck himself, Buck wouldn’t have the first clue that a divorce was being finalised in the Diaz household. 

It’s the same mundanity in the Diaz household. Chris goes to school, Eddie goes to work, Buck somehow fits into both their schedules. All of Shannon’s stuff doesn’t disappear. There are no explosive phone calls, or intensive meetings with lawyers. One day, the papers are on Eddie’s desk in a glaring, yellow envelope. The next day, they’re posted off. 

There’s a slight difference after that–Eddie rarely sits in with Chris for phone calls with Shannon. 

Buck doesn’t know the exact details of how Chris was told about the divorce. If Eddie talked to him first, then Shannon. Or if they broke the news together–if it was a video call, or a simple voice memo from Shannon. But what he does know is that more than ever, Chris is desperate to hold on to his mother. 

It makes Buck’s heart ache every time he catches a whisper of, but you will come back, right? Or every time he sees Eddie sitting on the couch, head in his hands, palms pressed against his eyes to ground himself while Chris talks to Shannon with his door shut. Buck wishes he could comfort Eddie, but since that night in the hotel, their friendship has disintegrated into awkward half-smiles. 

Buck doesn’t want to press on fixing their relationship, not when Eddie’s already got his hands full with navigating his divorce, and where that leaves his son. 

Buck tries to broach the subject with Chris because he doesn’t want this to feel like something Chris has to suppress or ignore. And he knows it’s not exactly his place, but it’s important that Chris knows the adults in his life are looking out for him. 

To help prepare for the conversation, Buck’s read through dozens of articles about how divorce impacts a child. He’s found that it’s highly encouraged for children to voice their feelings surrounding their parent’s divorce. Being listened to helps them feel validated and reassures them that they’re loved and supported, despite circumstances making it seem otherwise. 

He eases it into casual conversation, while he and Chris are icing cookies. They’re practicing for Christmas, and it’s a good thing they are because there’s more icing on Chris’s face than the cookies.

“So, are you excited for Christmas?” 

Shannon confirmed last night that she would be back for Christmas. It was certainly news to Eddie, who is currently in his study, trying to negotiate extending his Christmas leave with his boss. 

“Yeah! Dad said we’re going to get photos with Santa”. Chris whips his head around to the doorway of the kitchen. It looks like he’s making sure they’re not being listened to. He lowers his voice and leans close, so his little arms are pressed right against Buck’s. “And bisabuela’s coming too. It’s a surprise, but I already know”. 

“Chris!” Buck exclaims, scandalised. Buck knew Eddie was flying in his abuela (he overheard them on the phone last night as he was loading the dishwasher). But Chris wasn’t meant to know, it’s part of his Christmas gift. “How did you figure it out?”

“Mom’s bringing her. She told me”. 

Right, of course. Since Eddie is arranging it, they’re probably on the same flight. But actually, this makes a great opportunity to discuss how Chris feels about the separation and Shannon’s decision to move out. 

“It’s gonna be awesome to see your mom again”. 

“Yeah! You know I’ll get two Christmas’s next year?” 

“Wait, how?” 

“One with mom in her new house, and one with dad here”, Chris explains easily. 

“How do you feel about that–your mom having a new house?”

If he’s being honest, Buck is surprised that Shannon’s made the decision to move out already. Doesn’t she want to at least try spending some time as a family unit? Maybe the new house, Eddie’s new job and all of Chris’s new friends would help her shed the resentment she has towards her old life. But that’s none of Buck’s business, so he listens to Chris. 

“I was sad about it before. But mom and dad said we’ll get to spend time together in both houses. And I get to pick everything for my new room! Denny has a bed that looks like a spaceship. I’m gonna get one too”.

So all in all, Chris seems to be handling the news pretty well. He seems excited for his future and the changes to come. All the pain and disappointment he felt when the news first broke seems to have ebbed. 

Obviously, none of this would be possible without Eddie and Shannon’s parenting. They really are focused on putting Chris first before their own qualms. It’s especially admirable, knowing how much emotional baggage Eddie and Shannon must be sorting through themselves. 

He hopes Eddie and Shannon have support systems that they can lean on too.

Buck encourages Chris’s excitement, “Ooh, you know what else would be cool?” 

“What?” 

“Lava lamps!”

These days, room decor is the main topic of conversation between Buck and Chris (he’s going to have to choose which Lego sets to take and display in his room at Shannon’s house. Eddie can not lug them back and forth every visit). But things between Buck and Eddie are at a standstill. 

Eddie’s texts are reduced to perfunctory instructions. Buck doesn’t linger in the afternoons anymore, choosing to leave as soon as Eddie and Chris hug each other hello. It pains Buck to do so, but he doesn’t think he can handle witnessing all the progress he and Eddie have made come undone because of a fleeting kiss.

He’s afraid he’ll slip up and ask, do you want to try again?

And then one night, Buck is working on one of Chris’s projects–a boat made of paddle pop-sticks. Ok, it’s not really for Chris. Buck wants to make his own first, just to test what model will float best and if adding extra stickers and glitter on the boat will affect its agility. There’s a lot at stake here. The winner of the boat race will get a free ice pop from the cafeteria. 

Buck’s gluing the hull of the boat together, when a fast-approaching shadow blocks his light source. It’s Eddie. Buck shuffles over, so Eddie has some space. But they don’t say anything, they aren’t even looking at each other. Eddie’s got his eyes trained on the coffee table like it’s the most exciting thing since sliced bread. 

It’s terribly awkward. It feels like sitting next to a stranger on an hour-long bus ride.

“At the hotel”, Eddie starts, voice shaky. “That night–” 

Buck startles, dropping the packet of paddle-pop sticks. He didn’t know they were going to talk about it. He would’ve researched first, something like, what to say when the kiss of your life with your (now divorced) boss is interrupted before it even began?

“Oh! We don’t need to talk about it”. 

Ok yes they do need to talk about it but—not right now. 

“We don’t?” Eddie asks. 

Buck braves a look at Eddie from the corner of his eye. Ignoring how infuriatingly good he looks in plaid pajama pants, Buck focuses on the fact Eddie seems equal parts relieved, and confused. He’s stopped wringing his hands, but his brows are still furrowed. He doesn’t look convinced or satisfied by Buck’s statement. 

“I mean, it’s ok. I don’t mind”. 

Eddie’s face flickers through something complicated. 

“So … you were ok with it?”

“Yeah”, Buck shrugs, trying to look unphased. He doesn’t say, I could’ve done that forever. He doesn’t say, I can still feel your mouth on mine. He can barely look at Eddie when he asks,  “Were you ok with it?” 

A moment passes. In this moment, Eddie picks at a loose thread on his sweatpants, tugging it back and forth, like he’s trying to settle an internal battle. 

There’s no outright answer on his face. He doesn’t look disgusted, or angry. But he doesn’t seem happy, or hopeful either. Buck’s hand twitches in hopes to reach Eddie, to comfort him and tell him, it’s ok, let’s just drop it. But he doesn’t want to spook Eddie further. 

He’s just contemplating, his eyebrows scrunched, weighing it all up. Buck wonders what he’s thinking of. Does he want to forget about it? Does he want a do-over? With the way Eddie’s leg is bouncing, Buck thinks he’s going to bolt. 

“Yes”, Eddie answers softly. 

He’s still not looking at Buck. 

It’s quiet between them again.

Buck tries not to be disheartened at how long it took for Eddie to come up with his answer. But … it confirms his point—Eddie is nowhere near ready to pursue this potential relationship. 

Eddie should take his time to figure out where he wants to go next—who he wants to be with. It doesn’t matter how long it would take Eddie, Buck will be there. 

“Maybe, we should take it slow”, Buck offers gently. 

Eddie considers that and nods, accepting the out.

And just like that, they’re back to switching the TV on and booing at the latest overconfident asshole making his way into the Bachelor house. 

But there are big changes–well, not that huge. Buck doesn’t want to overreact or exaggerate–but there are big changes to his relationship with Eddie. 

For one, Eddie and Buck start spending everywhere .

Eddie doesn’t like to schedule anything after work, because he wants to stay home and spend time with Chris. But on days where Eddie’s working from home, or Chris has an after-school commitment, Eddie always takes Buck out. They go to the beach–if it’s nice out, or Eddie’s feeling stir crazy, or Buck wants to show off his surfing skills. 

They go to an art museum and a dine-in theatre, which re-creates and serves food from the movie that’s playing. They come back again with Chris to watch and eat along to Ratatouille. Eddie also takes Buck to the Natural History Museum, which ends up being Buck’s favourite. Eddie wears his reading glasses the whole time, so he can read the little descriptive plaques and really absorb the details of each exhibit. 

And then he talks about the things he remembers from college classes, or from units he taught his own classes. He’s the most animated then, talking about past students and the sweet old teachers he taught with. But there’s this feeling that Buck can’t shake–there’s something Eddie’s not telling him. 

There’s a gap in the stories. Something, or someone who is purposefully being omitted. Eddie's jaw becomes too tight in places and there's a twinge in his voice-hoarse and shallow.  There’s an undercurrent of haunting. A missing face, crossed out in black and ripped from the pages. Buck can only wonder, who?

But Buck doesn’t ask. He just enjoys getting to look at Eddie so openly under the guise that he’s looking at the exhibits. 

They go on long hikes, where they talk about everything and nothing.

“Wait, wait, so when are Adriana and Sophia coming again?” 

Eddie’s just finalised the flight dates for his sisters, who are coming to LA for Christmas too. They’re worried about Eddie’s first Christmas as a divorcee, which Eddie just huffs and describes as ridiculous. It’s not like Eddie will be alone and Shannon is literally going to be there too. It’s hardly going to feel like they’re divorced. 

Eddie has been grumbling about it, but Buck knows he’s secretly very excited. As soon as everything was confirmed last night, Eddie had gone on a Target run to get them new toothbrushes, sanitary items and stuffed animals, so his nieces and nephews would feel comfortable. 

“Adriana is coming on the 19th, her kids finish school earlier. Sophia’s coming on the 22nd, and then her husband is coming on the 23rd”. 

“Got it, got it”, Buck mumbles. 

He’s honestly out of breath from how steep this trail is. He doesn’t know how Eddie is so far ahead of him, acting like it’s just another trip up the driveway. 

Eddie barely registers it, continuing, “Which is why I’ve gotta take Maddie shopping with me on Sunday. Are you ok to watch Chris? I would take him too but he hates the mall”.

Maddie? Maddie and Eddie are going to spend the day together at the mall? Alone? No. Eddie was going to fall for Maddie, Buck already knows it. They’re both smart and funny and they’ve lived away from family to study–they’re the oldest sibling. Maddie watches the same reality TV shows as Eddie, so they’ll have something to do together. And Maddie likes takeout from the same Chinese place as Eddie, perfect for a casual, getting-to-know eachother first date—

Buck can not let this happen.

“Maddie has a boyfriend!” Buck blurts, embarrassingly loud. He’s pretty sure the leaves rustle in fear of his echoing voice. 

Eddie pauses, then turns around to look at Buck. He’s got his hands on his hips, and his lips are pursed, obviously waiting for Buck to continue. 

Fuck, how’s he going to play this off? 

“Yeah, I know”, Eddie says slowly, trying to figure out what has Buck so worked up. “Does Chimney not like me or something?”

Of course, Chimney likes him. Eddie regularly plays basketball with him. After their first game together, he even got an invite to the Christmas dinner hosted for the 118’s friends and family. But that's the problem! Everyone likes Eddie and one of these days, Eddie’s going to find someone he likes back. 

“No, no. I just–” Buck racks his brain, thinking, “I just wanted you to remember that. Cos he might come, so y’know … just a warning”. 

Eddie’s mouth quirks up, amused by Buck’s blundering panic. It’s really not funny. Yes, Buck wants Eddie to become a Buckley (they’ll hyphenate, Buck’s decided this a while ago) but not like this. 

“Uh huh”, Eddie doesn’t believe him. He’s just waiting to see if Buck’s got anything else stupid up his sleeve. When the silence stretches too long (because Buck is distracted by sweat pooled in the divot of Eddie’s chest), Eddie comes down to stand face to face with Buck. 

Buck looks away, eyes darting from the trees, to the dirt below them and back up at the white-grey clouds in the sky. Eddie follows him, thumb pressed against Buck’s collarbone to pin him in place. Once their eyes meet, Eddie finally speaks. 

“Can always count on you, Buck”, Eddie muses, clapping Buck on the back.

On quieter days, they go to restaurants. Eddie always picks the place. He claims it’s because he’s had a lot of places on his list that he’s heard of from Josh, but would never go to them with Josh. There are also places he wants to scope out before an upcoming dinner with a client, or a friend's birthday. It’s sweet that Eddie wants to make sure he’s chosen the best seats in the house, or get an opinion on the restaurant's best wine. So Buck goes along with him, always. 

Today, they’re at a beautiful ocean-view restaurant for lunch. Buck has no idea what for. He would’ve been happy with takeout. Hell, he would’ve been happy to eat in Eddie’s truck bed. 

But Eddie had insisted on this restaurant, and the whole time all Buck could think about is that this is the most expensive place they’ve eaten at so far.

As soon as the server walks away, Buck snatches the bill from Eddie’s hand. 

“We’re splitting the bill”, Buck hisses. 

“Why?” 

“Because! The desert alone was $92”. Was it worth every dollar? Buck hates to admit it, but yes. His dessert plate is so clean, it looks like it was put through the dishwasher. The toffee buttercream filling in the cake was just delightful and the fresh strawberries served with it … they tasted like they were picked by God himself. “Just ‘cos it had gold flakes on it, I mean–”

“But you liked it?” Eddie interjects. 

Buck exhales, defeated. “Yes, yes. I liked it”.

“So let me cover it. Don’t think so hard about how much it cost”. Buck looks severely unimpressed, how is he not supposed to think about it? Eddie relents, “Ok, ok just cover it next time”. 

“That’s what you said last time, too! You never let me cover”.

“Well, it’s not my fault the server always puts the bill in front of me”. 

The servers think Eddie is his sugar daddy. Buck would bet all his savings on it. And it’s not just this restaurant. Every single time they dine out, Buck knows he’s being viewed as the gold-digging boyfriend. With his watch—the watch that Eddie gave him, too high-end to be his own, and Eddie’s insistence to guide him around with a hand on his lower back, he can see why people make the assumption. 

It’s not his fault that Eddie just looks expensive and takes him to intimate, fancy places. It’s not much help either that Eddie’s growing his beard out too, or that his muscles fill out his suit jackets beautifully. Next to Eddie, Buck’s clean-shaven face and unruly curly hair only emphasises their age gap. The seven years between them stretch out to eleven. 

But he’s not going to explain that to Eddie, so Buck just huffs, “Whatever”, 

“Hey, I know a way we can get 30% off”. 

Buck leans forward, interested. He thinks Eddie might use the company card or something, but instead–he pulls off his signet ring and slides it towards Buck. 

“Evan Buckley–”

Buck claps a hand over his mouth. 

“Oh my god”.

Thank God they’re having lunch on an uneventful Wednesday, and not a Saturday dinner rush. Because Buck doesn’t know if he could handle onlookers murmuring, or servers rushing over with champagne. 

“We’ve haven’t been in each other’s lives long–”

Eddie’s reaches towards Buck’s hand and clasps it with his own. Their fingers are intertwined over the silverware napkin and Buck thinks he’s going to throw up. Onlookers or not.

“Eddie, please–”

“But I’ve never been more sure of anything, of anyone–”

“ Edmundo —”

Eddie stifles a laugh. 

“Just let me finish, Buck”. 

Buck slides his chair out and stands up. 

“I’m gonna meet you in the car”.

“Are you sure? Because the bill’s still here. You could cover the waters–”

“The water is complimentary, asshole. Give me your keys”. 

Buck holds out his hand, waiting. It’s not lost on him that he’s huffing and stomping like a toddler having a tantrum, and in a fancy restaurant too–he’s such a cliche. Eddie’s hiding his mouth behind his palm, and Buck just knows he’s holding in the biggest laugh. He can’t even find it in him to be mad. He wants to kiss Eddie’s stupid apple-red cheeks. 

“They’re with the valet”. 

Buck holds back a litany of curses on his tongue. It would be rude to subject the restaurant to that. He’ll save it for when Eddie gets in the truck. Of course they are. 

As Buck comes down from the embarrassment and delight of Eddie faking a proposal, Buck realises something: they touch all the time.  

It wasn’t just Eddie’s fingers intertwined with his, or their ankles knocking together under the table and never moving away. Eddie’s touch isn’t fleeting, or shy anymore. Now, it’s deliberate and constant, and Buck can’t stop noticing it. Eddie’s broad hand sweeping across his lower  back as he passes through the kitchen. Eddie’s shoulders slumped against his when they’re sitting on the couch. Eddie’s fingers curled into the nape of his neck in the photo they took together of their Halloween costumes, with Chris standing between them.

They’re on the couch, just a regular Friday night. Buck has his feet up on the coffee table, beer in his hand as he tries (and fails) to learn how Machu Picchu was built. But he can’t, because Eddie’s legs are sprawled wide, the strong lines of his thighs are straining obscenely against the flimsy material of his shorts. Buck’s trying not to look. He’s trying so hard. So hard like Eddie’s muscles–sculpted to perfection. 

Eddie shifts slightly, causing his shorts ride up. No tan lines .  

His attraction to Eddie has gotten so much worse since the divorce. Because now that Eddie is legally not married, Buck doesn’t feel that sharp edge of guilt every time he fantasises about Eddie. And like always, this one is unbelievably vivid and inappropriate. 

He wants to press his lips against Eddie’s neck, leave marks in the shape of his teeth for everyone to see. He needs to hear the sounds Eddie can make–every sigh, every gasp, he wants to hear Eddie say his name–breathless and pleading. He wants to pull Eddie’s shorts down. Wants to wrap his hand around him–no, his mouth. The fantasy shifts: Buck’s face buried in Eddie’s lap and Eddie’s hand pressing on the back of his head, urging him to take it deeper, to take more, more , more –

Eddie interrupts him with a jaw cracking yawn. He shifts slightly, stretching his arm and suddenly, his arm is looping around Buck’s shoulders, pulling him close. It’s the oldest move in the book. It’s so cheesy. 

It doesn’t matter. Buck still blushes like a school-girl on a first date at the movies, and Eddie looks down at him with crinkling eyes and a shy smile. Like they could be something more, like Eddie’s been waiting to make this move the whole night. Buck thinks if he looks at Eddie any longer, he’ll kiss him. So he settles his head against Eddie’s shoulder and blushes harder at the pleased sound Eddie makes when he wraps his arm around Eddie’s middle. 

But what flusters Buck the most is Eddie’s use of pet names. It’s not new per se, Eddie is very affectionate–he has all these different names for Chris, from Superman to mijo . He often coos over pictures of his nieces and when he talks to them on the phone, he calls them his little princessa’s . 

It’s ridiculous how Buck’s heart flutters over Eddie’s endearments. Stupidly, Buck wishes Eddie would direct those endearments towards him sometimes. 

Buck should be careful what he wishes for.

“When will you be home?” Buck asks conversationally, cutting up a cucumber into sticks for Chris’s lunch. 

Eddie takes a second to think on it. “Uh, three? Maybe four? I’ll keep you updated”.

“‘Kay, just text me”. 

Eddie slings his bag over his shoulder, one foot out the kitchen. His back is turned to Buck when he says, “You got it, honey”. 

Buck almost cuts his finger clean off.

But he’s getting used to it. 

He’s even came up with categories and explanations. Sweetheart for when they’re alone and Eddie’s soft around the edges. It’s whispered through the phone, goodnight sweetheart . When Buck’s cooking in the kitchen and Eddie’s leaning against the counter with a spoon between his lips, taste testing Buck’s recipes, that’s perfect sweetheart .

When Eddie’s in a rush, and his words are running away from him, he chooses honey. It’s a balm to soften the blow of how long he’ll be unavailable for. I’ve got a meeting, honey, Eddie interrupts, cutting their lunch short. Truthfully, Buck doesn’t mind, he’s just happy to be there, but it doesn’t hurt to hear it. I’ll see you tonight, honey. Soft and sweet, a promise he’ll be home. 

When Eddie’s feeling playful, it’s sunshine or buttercup . When they’re grocery shopping and Buck insists on buying the expensive, disgusting-sugary ice cream Eddie secretly loves, Eddie puts it back in the freezer with a fond smile, next time sunshine . When Buck pretends to be annoyed because it’s Eddie’s turn on the TV and he’s spent thirteen minutes choosing a movie and doesn’t look sorry about it, Eddie pinches his cheek, cheer up buttercup . 

And it’s always gorgeous, or beautiful, when Eddie wants something particular. 

“Hey, gorgeous”.

Buck rolls his eyes dramatically, knowing Eddie is about to ask for a favour (as if Buck isn’t already going to say yes). It must be really bad, if Eddie’s in his tightest henley. His sleeves are rolled up, showing off his tan, veiny arms. Drool collects in Buck’s mouth, and he’s lucky he swallows it down before it slides down his chin. 

He’s an idiot.

“What is it?” 

“Nothing!” Eddie defends. He does a piss poor job at it, the inflection of his voice too high for it to be believable. “I’m just saying hi”. 

Buck cocks his brow and gives Eddie a look .

Eddie runs a hand through his hair nervously. “Ok, it’s the washing machine. The pipes are leaking and I need to install new ones but I can’t figure out—” Buck interrupts Eddie with a burst of laughter. “Hey! What are you laughing for?” Eddie pouts. 

Eddie is just—he’s so cute. There’s no need for him to widen his doe eyes and look at Buck like a helpless princess. Buck doesn’t care, he’d look for a needle in a haystack if Eddie asked him to. But it’s sort of funny that Eddie thinks he has to lay it on so thick just for some help. He wouldn’t be surprised if Eddie started sinking to his knees, all faux-innocence and fluttering lashes, I don’t have any money right now. Is there something else I can pay you with?

And wow, that’s an image. 

Buck shakes his head, wiping down the countertop. 

“Nothing, you’re so ridiculous. Yes, your highness, I can fix the washing machine”. Because he can. He didn’t spend three months in Sydney fixing plumbing issues for hotels along the harbour for nothing. “Do you need me to fluff your pillows, too?”

Of course, Eddie doesn’t relent. In fact, just like Buck’s fantasy from moments ago, Eddie moves closer to Buck until their hips are brushing. And then, Eddie trails his fingers up Buck’s arm, until he can hook his fingers into Buck’s shirtsleeve. To Buck’s horror (and arousal), he doesn’t stop there. Eddie looks up at Buck through his long, gorgeous lashes, and Buck feels his lungs collapse. 

In a sweet, low voice, Eddie lilts, “Are you saying you don’t want to give me that good pipe?”

The euphemism isn’t lost on Buck at all. He has to laugh, because if he doesn’t, he’ll moan. 

He retaliates by swatting Eddie away with the kitchen towel, for the sake of his dignity. He hopes it's enough to distract from the flush blotching his face. It’s definitely not, from the way Eddie’s laugh thunders over the groans of the washing machine. Buck takes three deep breaths to collect himself. 

He plays the scene one more time in his mind–Eddie’s low voice, his wide eyes, his fingers skimming the surface of Buck’s veins, taking a dip under his shirt sleeve. With a jolt, Buck zips through the scene again, zooming into the lines of Eddie’s hand. 

When Eddie hands him the wrench to tighten the pipes, Buck realises it wasn’t his imagination. Eddie’s not wearing his wedding band anymore. 

As December begins, Buck can’t remember the last time Eddie called him by his name. 

It feels intentional–it’s stupid to think but, it’s almost like he’s being courted by Eddie. Buck doesn’t outright say anything about it, or ask Eddie what his intentions are. He doesn’t want to be overbearing. Buck figures it’s better if everything moves at Eddie’s pace. He’ll keep taking what Eddie gives him until Eddie is ready to find a name for it.

While Buck waits, there’s another change–he can’t decide if it’s bad or good. 

(It’s bad. It’s really bad. It makes Buck’s stomach churn and his throat tighten. The same way he’d feel when he’d come across reminders of Shannon in the house–before the divorce). 

The name ‘Marisol’ is thrown around quite a bit. 

Since Eddie’s success with the last pitch, he’s been entrusted with bigger fish. Something about a merger and working with another head of department to help secure this deal. Apparently, Marisol was being specially flown in from San Diego because she’s one of the best project managers in the company. 

Apparently, Edde has heard about her talent and whip smart negotiation tactics through the grapevine. Buck tries to not dwell on it too much. Apparently, Eddie’s never been more excited about something (the project, or Marisol? Buck doesn’t know) Apparently, Eddie and Marisol have been thinking about going on runs together because she lives a lot closer than he thought, which means Buck might have to sleepover to save him the hassle of going home so late and coming back so early. 

Which is fine, because Buck sleeps over most nights now. But he doesn’t know if he can stomach sleeping over so Marisol and Eddie can spend more time together.

Eddie leaves in a rush in the morning, grazing his fingertips against Buck’s elbow, barely having time to say goodbye. Buck figures Eddie probably slept in. He didn’t text last night, so he was probably busy working or spending time with Chris. Chris did mention that Eddie slept with him, so maybe Eddie was so tired, he fell asleep in the middle of their bedtime story. 

That’s a pretty regular occurrence, even if Eddie denies it vehemently. 

At least Chris won’t have to put up with Eddie snoring in his ear tonight. He has a sleepover with Denny (which Eddie has already sent an email for, along with a PDF attachment of Chris’s dietary plan and a list of emergency contacts). Buck thinks it’s sweet how much he cares. 

So Eddie can enjoy his time alone tonight, Buck takes care of the cleaning. The last room he’s got left is Eddie’s.

But when he opens the door to Eddie’s bedroom, he’s not sure what he’s looking at. 

Buck feels his stomach twist at the glare of Shannon’s red nightgown hung over Eddie’s headboard. It doesn’t make any sense–why would Shannon’s nightgown be out of the wardrobe? Shannon isn’t back yet, Eddie would have told Buck if there were any big changes happening, for the sake of Christopher. 

Buck glances around the room, trying to piece it together. Was it Shannon? Was Eddie doing … laundry? Why only the nightgown? Why not Shannon’s shirts or socks? Buck is still puzzling over it, scanning the room for more clues. 

It almost slips his notice, but the wind from Eddie’s window ruffles it just so–a haphazardly folded note under one of Shannon’s perfume bottles.

Thanks for last night. Looking forward to our partnership. 

- Marisol x

Chapter Text

Buck almost wants to laugh at his stupidity. 

He reads the note over and over again. Holds it in his hands. Smooths it out, turns it over for anything else. Scrunches it up. Sits on the edge of Eddie’s bed. Looks at it one more time, just to let it settle in his mind. Almost rips it in half. Then decides to set it down on Eddie’s nightstand. 

What did he expect? 

What did he think? Eddie was secretly harbouring feelings for him this whole time? That Eddie was going to end all of this with a shiny diamond ring and Buck’s name in his will? Did he really think the almost kiss in the hotel was anything more than a drunken, misguided attempt by Eddie to move on from Shannon? 

But Eddie’s not cruel. 

He wouldn’t string Buck along like this. Eddie isn’t the type of person to seek temporary fixes. Connection matters to him and—Buck realises, that’s why he’s chosen Marisol. 

She fits with Eddie’s life. 

She has the same lifestyle as him, and career aspirations. She matches the fire in Eddie—his extraordinary work ethic, his ability to shoulder through life, and family values (Marisol spends almost every weekend with her two older brothers and abuela, Buck may have checked her Facebook). 

Soon, they’ll have matching cars, and careers, and matching rings on the nightstand too. 

The ground beneath Buck tilts. It’s a sudden bout of nausea that sends acid churning through his stomach, queasy and unsettled, he rips back the blanket and climbs into Eddie’s bed. He presses his face into Eddie’s pillow, breathing in his aftershave and his cologne. He should be more embarrassed about this–writhing in Eddie’s sheets, foolishly trying to feel like he belongs in Eddie’s bed. 

He ignores the lingering waft of Marisol’s perfume. Her things on the nightstand. All those nights Eddie spent talking about her—he should’ve taken the hint. He should’ve understood Eddie was trying to get him used to the idea of Marisol. 

Instead, Buck was too busy reconstructing reality to fulfill his pathetic fantasies. He truly believed he and Eddie were at the precipice of something. 

Buck buries himself deeper under the covers, desperately trying to escape his mind. Maybe, if he could have Eddie, even this way–the weight of his blankets and the ghost of his touch, something to affirm that this isn’t made up in his head—this isn’t one of those desperate fumbles that Buck takes too far. It can’t be. Eddie feels something for him. He knows it. 

Shannon’s nightgown flutters in the breeze, loud, reminding Buck of its presence. Buck turns over and closes his eyes, willing for it to go away. 

The nightgown doesn’t go away. The red, lacy fabric is the first thing Buck sees when he slowly blinks away. It’s balled up near his feet. Buck wants to kick it off the bed. But he stops himself, choosing to lean into the insistent press of a hand against his shoulder. It’s nice, grounding. 

“Buck?” 

Buck remembers Maddie waking him up for school like this, shaking him up gently and towards the bathroom door. He remembers her disappearing entirely. Days dragged and dulled and endless as he warped his life to make up for her absence. A hand on the back of his hand, Julia’s skirt rising up on the cold bleachers and his lips against her neck. He thinks of every hand that’s pressed against his body, under his shirt and over his thighs. 

He didn’t want any of them the way he wanted Eddie. 

Eddie’s mouth, and his broad chest. Eddie’s honeyed eyes and his canine teeth, scraping against his collarbones, the shell of his ear. Eddie’s capable hand against his, curled around his neck, pressed into his chest, into his body, wrapped around his heart. 

Eddie .

Buck jolts awake, reality slamming back in a heavy wave. 

“Sweetheart, are you feeling ok?” Eddie asks gently, pressing the back of his hand against Buck’s forehead. It occurs to Buck that he should get up, instead of lying in Eddie’s bed. So he sits up properly, shrugging Eddie’s hand off him. 

“I am so, so, sorry”. By the looks of it, it’s been a couple hours, his watch (the watch Eddie gave him, which he never takes off except when he showers) reads half past two. Eddie must’ve come from work early.  “I was cleaning, I promise. I never, ever fall asleep like this. Everything else is done, this is the last room. I was just going to make your bed and then I—”

“It’s ok”, Eddie soothes, rubbing a hand down Buck’s arm. “You’re not in trouble”.

“But I’m sorry”, Buck insists. 

So many sorry’s. Sorry your wife left you and won’t come back. Sorry you still hope she’ll find space for you in her new life. Sorry you gave up so much, you grew up so fast, and it’s still not enough for you to forgive yourself. Let’s go somewhere else. Anywhere, I’d go anywhere if it was with you. I wish I knew you before all of this–before you started feeling too old for your body. I would never make you cry. Forget her, forget her, forget her.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for”, Eddie says gently. 

And that’s the thing. Eddie is too gentle. He’s too kind. That’s how Buck got stuck here, thinking that his feelings were reciprocated. This whole time Eddie was just being his generous, sweet self. It’s not his fault his friendliness was mistranslated into romantic interest by Buck.

“I can’t do this anymore”, Buck says tiredly. 

Eddie reels back, shock lining his features. Buck doesn’t like it at all. He wants to reach out, smooth Eddie’s face down again until he’s back to the Eddie that Buck loves–easy and sweet, smile lines and crinkled eyes. 

“What? What are you saying, Buck?”

“I don’t know what you want”, Buck answers, defeated. He doesn’t want to play a game anymore.  “I understand you need time,you need to take this slow. And that’s fine, but for you to turn around just to choose Marisol … I can’t sit here and pretend it’s not hurting me”. 

Eddie’s frown deepens, so Buck looks away, choosing to focus on the dressing table behind Eddie. Shannon’s perfume bottles. Eddie’s hair brush. Chris’s spare pair of glasses, red frames and black temples. An unopened packet of razors and Eddie’s shaving foam that Buck had picked up on a whim three nights ago for his own bathroom cabinet. 

“I’ve never–I’ve never wanted anyone like I’ve wanted you. I would wait–well, forever, if you needed me to. But I can’t do that if you love Marisol–”

“I love you”, Eddie interrupts firmly. There’s no room for argument, nothing to retaliate with. 

“Don’t just say that”, Buck pleads. Because he can’t handle it, if Eddie is only saying this to placate him, to shut him up and put an end to his long-winded rambling. 

“I’m not! I feel nothing for Marisol. Yes, she stayed over last night, but we were working. I didn’t even sleep in my bed. I slept with Christopher. Ask him if you don’t believe me, Buck”. 

Buck picks up the piece of paper folded on Eddie’s nightstand and hands it to him. 

“So this is …”

Eddie’s eyes flit over the paper and he frowns again, deep and confused. He looks stupid. Stupidly gorgeous , in his navy blue shirt (rolled up to show off his arms, because of course) and his straight black slacks. It’s one of Buck’s favourite shirts on him, he said as much when he was ironing it two mornings ago. Now Eddie’s wearing it, in love with someone else.

Buck believes him. Of course he believes him, Eddie never lies about anything, especially not to Buck. And it’s hard not to believe him, when his big, brown eyes are wide and pleading, trying to help him with his case. He’s annoyingly cute, entirely too cute for a grown man with stubble lining his face. 

But he has to prod just a little, “Did you carry her to your bed?” 

Eddie pulls a truly disgusted face, “Buck …” 

“Sorry, sorry", Buck surrenders, putting his hands up, "Just checking”.

Eddie gives him an exasperated look, but he doesn’t mean it. His mouth is curled up in amusement, eyes twinkling as he watches Buck burst into stupid giggles. All of it is just absurd–Buck’s spiral over Marisol, Eddie finding Buck in his bed, their knees knocking together as Eddie puts his hand on top of Buck’s. 

It’s reassuring and firm, pinning Buck in place. 

“It’s been you this whole time, Buck”, Eddie says, nervously stroking his thumb over Buck’s knuckles. “I love you. I know I should’ve said something earlier, but I–”

It doesn’t matter. Buck means it with every beat of his heart, “I love you too”.

Eddie closes the distance first, or maybe it’s Buck. Who knows, who cares? All that matters is that every lingering touch, every stolen glance, it’s all built up to this moment. Eddie’s mouth against Buck’s, kissing, claiming, devouring . 

One of Eddie’s hands dig into the back of his neck, the other in his hair, simultaneously pulling him closer and holding him still. Buck lets him take, holding his mouth open for Eddie’s tongue to poke and prod against his teeth and the inside of his cheek. 

Buck’s hands roam everywhere–from the short hairs of the nape of Eddie’s neck, down his back and at the sides of his hips. He’s giddy with the realisation that he can do this now—kiss and touch and feel Eddie whenever and wherever he wants. 

So he peels off Eddie’s shirt, undoing the buttons with eager, clumsy motions. They both let out twin sighs in relief when it’s finally off, and Eddie does the honour of tossing it to the other side of the bed. Buck just continues wrestling with Eddie’s undershirt. It comes off too, landing somewhere near the dressing table. 

They kiss and kiss and kiss until their lips and lungs and jaws are numb. They only pull away for another gulp of air, like it’s just dawned on them that they need to breathe, and then they’re lunging at each other again like it’s the last time they’ll ever get a chance. 

Buck climbs into Eddie’s lap, straddling his broad thighs, because he’s waited too long to let this opportunity go to waste. Eddie takes it in stride, tightening his hold around Buck’s back. It feels good, really good, with the way Eddie’s lightly pressing into his back, urging him to move. 

Impatiently, Eddie shoves his thigh up, right against the heat of Buck’s hardening cock.

Buck makes a noise like he’s wounded, embarrassed at how fast he’s gotten worked up. But Eddie doesn’t care, he just pulls Buck against him harder, dragging their cocks together in a delicious slide. 

“It’s ok, it’s ok”, Eddie slips his fingers under Buck’s shirt and digs them into the meat of Buck’s hips, rocking him against the breadth of his thigh. Buck stops just for a second to pull his shirt off and throw it at the end of the bed. “Take what you need, I’m right here”.

And God, does Buck want to take . 

He’s pictured it every way with Eddie. A montage of their connected bodies plays through his mind. In every position, in every place–from the kitchen, to the dining table, to the backseat of Eddie’s truck. 

The ache between his thighs feels unbearable as he imagines how good Eddie would look fucking him relentlessly from behind. Strong hands pinning his hips in place, his head thrown back as he slams into Buck, over and over again until he’s sobbing into the pillow and begging for Eddie to touch his cock.

He tightens his arms around Eddie’s shoulders, losing his thread of control as Eddie sucks kisses into the side of his neck. He hopes Eddie leaves marks—hopes to see pink and purple splashes on his skin and Eddie’s teeth indented across them. 

“You could come just from this, couldn’t you?” 

Buck moans brokenly in answer, nodding his head against the crook of Eddie’s neck. He could. He’d do anything Eddie asked. He’s already so close—just from the insistent press of Eddie’s fingertips at his hips, and his encouraging moans each time Buck grinds against his cock. Buck can taste how close he is on his tongue. He can feel his muscles tensing and breath stuttering, so close to release. 

“Show me”.

Buck feels like all the strings holding him up have been cut loose. He lets go, pathetic moans tumbling out of his mouth as he comes in his shorts, sticky and wet. 

“Oh, sweetheart. You’re so good”, Eddie moans approvingly, pressing a kiss against Buck’s heated cheek. “Such a good boy, coming in your shorts just because I asked”. 

“I can go again”, Buck says breathlessly. 

Eddie makes a low, pleased noise, flooding Buck with warmth. 

“Sit back, I want to see you this time”. Eddie gently pries Buck off his lap, so he’s sitting against the headboard. He misses Eddie immediately—almost whimpers at the loss, but Eddie soothes him with a slow, syrupy kiss. 

It’s gentle and sweet. It tastes like a reward for being good and Buck doesn’t want it to end. He wants to keep being good for Eddie, wants to be the best he’s ever had. He’s desperate to know what else he can earn.

As if he can hear Buck’s thoughts, Eddie hooks his fingers into the elastic of Buck’s shorts. 

“Can I take these off?” 

“Yeah, yeah, please”, Buck nods feverishly, pulling down his cum-soaked shorts with the help of Eddie’s steady hands. 

His boxers are completely ruined by the mess he’s made. The grey material is tangled around the tip of his cock—still aching, still so hard, not anywhere near relieved. Eddie’s breath hitches as he looks down at Buck’s lap, his lips parted in desperate want. Buck can’t help but preen under Eddie’s gaze. 

“Can I take my boxers off?”

Eddie jolts out of his daze, and finally, finally puts his hands on Buck’s thighs. 

“No. No I’ll do it”, Eddie asserts. 

Eddie slides Buck’s boxers down his legs, agonisingly slow, taking his time to marvel at every inch of skin under his palms. Buck can’t even complain, it makes him feel so special to have Eddie’s attention on him like this–every graze of his fingers is deliberate and focused, drawing sighs from Buck’s open mouth. 

Eddie tosses the boxers somewhere across the room. The thump of fabric echoes on the tiles, a signal to start. 

“You’re so beautiful”, Eddie praises, eyes roving down Buck’s pink, weepy cock. “Look at your pretty cock, can’t believe you’ve been keeping this from me”.

Eddie toys with his cock, mapping it out leisurely under his fingers. He traces a finger over the pink, swollen head and gathers the excess precum to spread it down Buck’s shaft. Every messy, needy whimper that falls from Buck’s mouth is matched by Eddie’s appreciative moans. He keeps murmuring praises under his breath, half-sentences that Buck strains to hear between each slick sound of Eddie’s hand on him. 

“I’ve thought about you like this so many times”, Eddie confesses, stripping Buck’s cock with firmer, faster strokes. “Knew you were going to be perfect, just made for me”. 

Buck whines, low and broken, arching off the bed into Eddie’s tight grip. 

To know that Eddie has fantasised about him—about touching him like this, even went as far as to imagine what he looks like under his clothes—it tips Buck dangerously closer to the edge. He just needs a little more. 

“What do you need, honey?” Eddie asks, brows furrowed as he tries to understand what Buck is begging for.

“Tell me”, Buck begs, clutching Eddie’s bicep. “Tell me what you thought about”.

“I thought about this—getting you off with my hand. Every time we’ve been on the couch, I’ve wanted to slide my hand under your shorts and touch you. I know you get hard watching me–

“Eddie”, Buck moans, torn apart. He doesn’t know if he wants Eddie to continue. He feels so embarrassed at the fact that Eddie knew this entire time. Eddie’s not stupid, he probably figured it out the second or third time Buck grabbed a pillow to put over his lap. 

“It’s ok. It’s alright, I wanted you too. If you asked me, I would’ve taken you right there”, Eddie twists his wrist, just the right way, making Buck gasp. And then he slows pace, keeping Buck on the edge. 

“Do you know how many times I’d go back to my room, sit in this bed and think about how pretty you’d look riding my cock?”

Buck’s whole body flushes at the question. He can’t give an answer—how can he? This is every dream he’s had for the past five months come true. So he just bucks his hips up faster, moaning Eddie’s name breathlessly, hoping that there’s an answer in there somewhere.

“I knew you were gonna be loud. Got myself off so many times, thinking of how you’d say my name. God, you know what I really want?” Eddie asks, stilling his hand. 

Buck has no clue. He makes a questioning noise in the back of his throat. Tell me .

“I want to do this in my office. All those boring meetings”, Eddie huffs, almost annoyed, like he doesn’t have a hand around Buck right now. “But I’d have you—I could spread you out on my desk, bend you over it”. 

“ Eddie ”, Buck groans, jolting up into Eddie’s grip. He had no idea how much Eddie wanted him, couldn’t even dream it was to this extent. 

“But you’d need to be quiet. You’re not very good at that, are you?”

“No”, Buck whimpers, shaking his head. 

“That’s ok sweetheart”, Eddie soothes, running his thumb over the silt. He’s being mean, caressing the head and leaving the rest of Buck twitching and aching for relief. “I could gag you with my tie. You’d let me, wouldn't you?” 

Buck digs his fingers into Eddie’s arms, desperately trying to hold on. “Yes, yes , Eddie—“

“I know you would”, Eddie says, confidence dripping off every word. “Do you want to know how I know, Buck?”

“How?” 

Buck is losing his thread of control. The fact that their fantasies have been running parallel—how many times has Eddie thought of Buck, bound and gagged in his office, while Buck has been on the other side of the phone, thinking of riding Eddie in his chair? How many times have they hung up the phone and wished they were next to each other in bed? How many days have they wasted when they could have been eachothers this whole time?

It’s enough to make Buck cry.

“Because you’re a cockslut”. 

Buck comes so hard, it splashes against his chin. He feels like a live wire, exposed and unstable, tremors of energy making the muscles of his abdomen jump and twitch in desperate search of contact. Distantly, he can hear Eddie’s broken moans, praising him for doing such a good job, for being such a good boy . 

When Buck wills his eyes open, he finds Eddie looking down at his lap in what can only be described as awe. 

“God, you come like a girl. Just squirting all over yourself. So wet and messy”.

Buck can’t help but let out an embarrassed whine. He knows he comes too much. It can be unpleasant, his partners don’t always enjoy his orgasms. It can be too much to swallow, or messy and overwhelmingly exhausting to clean up. But Eddie doesn’t look put off. In fact, if the on Eddie’s face is hungry . 

“Don’t be embarrassed, honey. I know you’ve got more in you”, as if on cue, his cock twitches again, needy and desperate in the circle of Eddie’s loose grip. “Yeah, you’re going to show me”, Eddie starts up again, using Buck’s come to ease the slide of his fist.

But it’s too much—too fast. Buck needs a moment to work through the sensitivity. So he brings Eddie’s hand up to his mouth. He cleans off Eddie’s knuckles with his tongue, licking up his come in broad, long strokes. 

He looks up at Eddie through his lashes and he likes what he sees: Eddie’s flushed face and wild eyes, all because of him. He wants that forever. He wants Eddie to forget about anyone else he’s ever been with and only think of this moment—of Buck. 

So Buck plays it up. He makes greedy, gulping sounds as he takes Eddie’s fingers deeper until they’re hitting the back of his throat. He looks at Eddie the whole time, watching Eddie’s pupils blow wider each time he bobs his head, an imitation of what he’d do if Eddie put him on his knees. 

Eddie pulls his hand away, panting like Buck really did suck him off. 

“I want a taste too”. 

Before Buck can even register the words, Eddie’s mouth is on his. It’s a filthy kiss–all teeth and tongue, like Eddie’s trying to fill up his mouth with the taste of Buck. It takes no time to reduce Buck to open-mouthed panting. 

“I love you”, Eddie murmurs against his lips. 

“Spit in my mouth”, Buck moans dazedly. 

“Open up for me”. 

Buck opens his mouth without hesitation, wide as he can for Eddie. 

But instead of spitting, Eddie slots his fingers into Buck’s mouth. He runs them all over, against Buck’s gums, the flat of his tongue and the backs of his teeth. Eddie’s fingers trace every ridge and groove in Buck’s mouth, until Buck is gulping for air. Eddie pulls away to rest his fingers on Buck’s swollen bottom lip. 

“Is this how you like it?” 

“Yes”, Buck replies instantly, unthinking. He doesn’t know what Eddie means, but he trusts 

“You like getting treated like a slut?” Eddie elaborates. 

Buck clutches Eddie’s shoulders desperately, pulling him closer. 

“I only want this with you”.  

“You’re so sweet”, Eddie murmurs, grasping Buck’s jaw between his fingers, keeping him still. “I’m so lucky to have you. You know that, don’t you?”

Instead of answering, Buck says, “I love you”. It’s a delayed response to Eddie. It’s only just processed in his mind. He feels too clouded to understand anything. It’s just a consistent thrum of Eddie, Eddie, Eddie looping through his body. 

“I know”. 

Eddie makes Buck look at him as he spits, harsh and mean, right into the open cavern of Buck’s mouth. Buck swallows it down under Eddie’s approving gaze, then opens his mouth again for more, looking up at Eddie with wide, teary eyes. 

“Don’t cry”, Eddie says, much too gentle for the heated look he was giving Buck just seconds earlier. 

Eddie reaches over to his bedside table, pulling open the drawer to search for something. Buck holds his breath in anticipation, wondering what Eddie has for him. It’s a bottle of lube, half empty, comically small in Eddie’s large hand.

“You look so pretty, spreading your legs for me”, Eddie uncaps the bottle, drizzling lube on his fingers as he continues, “You deserve everything you want”. 

Yes , Buck nods in answer, shuffling back against the pillow to make room for Eddie between his legs. He can’t focus on anything except Eddie. He’s flushed, practically glowing, sweat glistening in the jut of his collarbones and the divot of his neck and high on his cheekbones. It’s the only way Buck can tell Eddie’s just as affected by this. 

Because all other signs–Eddie’s even breaths, his steady hands and unwavering eyes, point towards this being just another ordinary day for Eddie. 

Eddie slots his fingers between Buck’s thighs, against his rim, “Can I touch you here?” 

“Please”, Buck begs, arching up into the heat of Eddie’s fingers, “I want it so much, want you to fill me up with your big cock. Please, Eddie”. 

“Here?” Eddie presses his fingers harder, still not sliding in, just teasing for no good reason. “This tight little hole? I don’t know if it’ll fit, Buck”. 

“I can take it, I promise”, Buck whines desperately. He sounds so stupid, Eddie knows he can take it. Obviously he does with the way the corner of his mouth is curling up into a satisfied smirk as Buck continues babbling. “Make me take it, please, Eddie, I want you so much”.  

“Hold yourself open”. Buck hooks his hands underneath his thighs, spreading himself wide, legs quivering in the air. “There you go”. 

His hole clenches around nothing, in desperate need to be filled up. He should be more embarrassed, but it doesn’t matter, he wants Eddie to know how badly he needs this. How he feels like he can’t live without it. 

Eddie exhales slowly, as if he’s pacing himself.

“Oh, baby, you need it that bad?”

Buck nods helplessly. He’s waited, he’s been so good, done everything Eddie asked of him. He just wants this one thing. 

“Look at you, pink and pretty everywhere. Can’t let this hole go to waste, can I?” Eddie murmurs, almost absent-mindedly as he fucks two fingers into Buck’s needy hole. 

“Eddie, please”, Buck whines, rocking his hips with every move of Eddie’s fingers. “Just like that—fuck, spit on my hole, stretch it out. Need to come so bad, please, baby, more, put it in me”. He can feel tears gathering in his eyes, hot and frustrated, as Eddie purposely avoids his prostate. 

His hole is already puffy, just from Eddie’s thick, rough fingers stretching it open. He’s ready, he can take it, if Eddie would just give it to him. 

He tries to pry Eddie’s fingers out. Tries to pull Eddie’s slacks off and pull out his cock—he already knows it’s big and perfect and won’t compare to anyone he’s had before—it’s straining obscenely against his slacks and Buck thinks it’s not fair. Eddie’s cock will feel so much better inside him. It’ll look so pretty, splitting him open and fucking him loose. God, he could cry. 

“Wait”, Eddie chides. 

“Just the tip”, Buck begs shamelessly, tugging at Eddie’s belt loops. He’ll take anything Eddie gives him. He’ll be good. He won’t complain about anything, he needs Eddie in him now . 

“Buck, what did I say?” 

He looks so disappointed at Buck’s impatient whining, Buck shrinks back into the pillow, lowering his eyes. 

“I’m sorry”, Buck apologises, looking at Eddie through his lashes. And then he blinks, letting the tears fall down his face. 

But Eddie’s not having any of that. He cups Buck’s face with his free hand, fingers pressed against the bolt of Buck’s jaw, forcing Buck to look up at him.  

“It’s alright, Buck. I know how much you need it. But I need you to wait, ok?” 

“Ok”, Buck nods, agreeing. 

“Good boy. You’re so good for me, taking everything I give you, crying so pretty. I know you can wait for my cock. Let me take my clothes off first”. 

Eddie gets off the bed and Buck follows. But Eddie doesn’t go far. He stands between the open bracket of Buck’s legs, right at the edge of the bed. His belt buckle glints invitingly, Buck can see it in the reflection of his bottomless eyes. 

He takes his slacks off, tossing them behind himself carelessly. 

“Oh”, Buck gasps appreciatively.

The sun is fading from behind the borders of the blinds. Even in the dim light of the room, Eddie is unbearably beautiful. His eyes are so much darker, hungry and hunting, swallowed up by the black of his pupils. The tendons in his arms shift and slide as he hooks his fingers into his boxers. Spit pools in Buck’s mouth–already gagging for it. He’s lucky it doesn’t slide down his chin. 

Eddie finally drops his boxers and Buck can’t help it–his breath hitches, embarrassingly loud in the quiet of the room. 

God, he’s so big. Cut and veiny and gorgeous, precum spread across the tip and leaking down his shaft. He’s perfect size to fill Buck up, get him feeling it for days. His cock is so thick, it hangs heavy, unable to stand fully because of its size. Now he understands why Eddie was so insistent on stretching him out so thoroughly. 

Buck’s hands tremble, fisted into the sheets, to hold himself back from touching Eddie. Not until he has permission. 

“Do you want it in your mouth?”

“ Please ”.

Buck leans forward, pressing kisses against the length, from base to tip, as Eddie holds it for him. He splays his hand over Eddie’s, so they’re slowly jerking him off together. It’s stupid, but it feels so romantic. 

A bead of precum wells at the tip and Buck latches on to it. Eddie tastes so good. Buck suckles at the head, fighting to keep his eyes open as it pools in his mouth. The weight of Eddie’s cock in his mouth is intoxicating, not even half the length is past his lips yet, but it’s so heavy as it pulses against his tongue. Buck thinks he could come just from this. Especially when Eddie starts moaning above him—small, desperate sounds as he tries to hold back from fucking into Buck’s mouth. 

Buck doesn’t want to disappoint Eddie, so he presses kisses against the head—soft and silky, shining with precum and spit, until he has permission from Eddie to take more. 

“Oh, baby”, Eddie coos watching tears slip down Buck’s face. “Look at you, you’re crying for it”. Buck hadn’t even realised. He has to blink himself back to awareness. 

“Open your mouth, there you go sweet thing”. Eddie hooks a finger at Buck’s mouth, stretching it wide so he can watch every inch of his cock slide into Buck’s mouth. More tears build up in Buck’s eyes. Eddie’s tone is so condescending, and his actions even worse–the way he’s purposely hitting the back of Buck’s throat and pulling back, mocking him with concerned looks and soothing noises, before starting all over again. But his words, the way he talks sounds nice. 

“It’s ok, you can’t help it. Pretty boy like you, you can’t think when you get a cock in your mouth, can you?” 

The room echoes with the sound of Eddie sliding himself into Buck’s throat, in and out, in and out, until there’s drool running down Buck’s chin. Buck should be more ashamed, crying and moaning around Eddie’s cock like it’s a gift. But he can’t find it in himself to be. Not with the way Eddie’s cradling his face, feeling the head of his cock pressing against Buck’s cheek.

“Can I–can you take more and hold it there?”

Buck tries to say yes, but the word is muffled. So he nods, dropping his mouth open for Eddie to use. 

“Yeah, I knew you could”, Eddie tightens his hold on Buck’s hair, pulling him down his cock so the tip of his nose is pressed right against Eddie’s navel. “You’re so gorgeous. No one’s looked this pretty with a mouth full of cock”.

Buck doesn’t move. He can feel every cell in his body lighting up at the praise. And the way Eddie’s looking at him—it’s almost smitten . His gaze is soft, almost fond, as he looks down at Buck’s messy, watering eyes. 

“Just breathe, baby”, Eddie says gently. He’s got one hand under Buck’s jaw now, caressing him, working him through the ache. 

Buck takes a deep breath through his nose and Eddie rewards him with another sweet look. This time, Eddie swipes his thumb over Buck’s birthmark, soft and assuring. Buck leans into it, his eyes fluttering closed as he focuses on Eddie’s gentle hands cradling his face.

Buck wants to do this all day and the idea flashes through his mind unbidden—Buck, kneeling under Eddie’s office desk all day, through meetings and phone calls and whatever else Eddie needs to do, holding Eddie’s cock in his mouth until his throat is numb. He wants to fist his hands at the smooth material of Eddie’s slacks, get them dirty and stained with spit and cum and sweat and ruin Eddie’s perfect, clean image. 

Eddie slaps his hand down over Buck’s eyes suddenly, like he can see Buck’s thoughts playing out. 

“Stop, stop”, Eddie pants, slowly pulling away. “I can’t look at you”. He only removes his hand once he’s completely out of Buck’s mouth. 

Buck frowns, confused. He thought Eddie was enjoying this. 

“Why?” 

“You’re so–you’re so pretty ”, Eddie says, frustrated, like it’s his biggest problem. “I can’t see you like this, I won’t last”. 

Buck knows it’s crazy, but that’s just the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to him during sex. He blushes deeply, smiling bashfully as he tilts his head to look up at Eddie. 

“So?” 

“Buck, I’ve got almost ten years on you”.

Buck nuzzles up against Eddie’s thigh, pressing his cheek against Eddie’s throbbing cock, offering him some relief. It feels so good, heavy and full against Buck’s face, that he almost forgets what he’s supposed to be doing. Right—Buck bats his eyes coyishly, bringing his hand up to trace the leaking tip with his fingers. 

“I’ll look prettier with your cum on my face”.

Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose and turns away from Buck, trying to get himself under control again. 

“Christ, ok, enough. On your back”. Eddie pauses, then looks down at Buck, weighing something up. “Or would you like it a different way?” 

It’s endearing how considerate Eddie is. Buck feels a rush of affection through him, his stomach flutters with a silly burst of butterflies. 

“I’m ok on my back”, Buck replies, moving back on to the bed, settling against the pillows. He is. They can do it a different way another day. For their first time, Buck wants to see Eddie—he wants to catalogue every expression that flits over Eddie’s handsome face, every bead of sweat that lines his jaw and every strand of hair that falls loose on his forehead. 

Eddie follows him up, settling between his legs, “Ok, but you’ll tell me if you don’t like it, or if it’s not good or–”

Buck stops him with a kiss. It’s short and sweet, just enough to ease Eddie’s nerves. 

“I promise. And you’ll tell me if you don’t like something too”, Buck levels, cradling Eddie’s face in his hands. 

“I will”, Eddie assures, placing another peck against the bow of Buck’s lips, before moving back and adjusting Buck’s legs so his knees are pressed up against his chest. 

Eddie slides in slowly, watching Buck’s face closely for any sign of discomfort. The intensity of his attention makes Buck shiver, so lucky to be loved by someone as attentive as Eddie. Eddie’s halfway through when Buck really starts to feel it–his whole body adjusting to the stretch. He has to take a breath to orientate himself and Eddie stops completely to press gentle kisses against Buck’s trembling jaw.  

“Yeah, there you go”, Eddie encourages him softly, rubbing a soothing hand across the side of his face. “Deep breaths, sweetheart, just take me in. I know you can”. 

“I can”, Buck agrees mindlessly. 

“Good boy, I promise it’s going to feel good”, Eddie slides in another inch. “You feel so good for me, so tight. My perfect boy”, Eddie kisses his cheekbone, softening the blow of the next inch. “Does it feel good?”

“Yes, yes, more, please”, Buck begs, grabbing the back of Eddie’s knee to urge him deeper. He feels full and he wants to live on this feeling. 

“Ok, ok, I’ve got you”. 

Buck lets Eddie manhandle him however he wants. 

Eddie hooks one of Buck’s legs over his shoulder. He takes the other, hitching it just up against his waist, holding Buck tight and close. He’s inside, all the way. There’s no more space left between their bodies. It’s perfect, exactly what Buck wanted. 

“Ready?” Eddie asks, pressing a kiss to his ankle.

“So romantic”, Buck laughs, breathlessly, reaching for Eddie’s thigh. 

“Only for you”, Eddie replies, giving a slow experimental thrust. 

They’re ruined by each other. All their talk earlier is reduced to jumbled noise. Sounds of skin gliding and sheets rustling. Buck’s breathless sighs of Eddie’s name, each higher and needier than the last. Eddie’s just as loud. Guttural moans escape from somewhere in his lungs that only Buck has managed to find. 

Eddie tries to make it last, tries to take it slow. But that’s over quickly, when Buck rolls his hips desperately, meeting him for every thrust. Eddie understands Buck needs more. He’s not so gentle after that. He slams into Buck over and over again, rattling every atom in Buck’s body like he’s rearranging Buck into the perfect shape for himself. It’s like he’s playing God.

“Eddie, God”, Buck gasps at the change of angle. “Like that, just like that”.

“Wish everyone could see you getting fucked like this”, Eddie says against Buck’s mouth. It punctures a sound out of Buck–something like a plea, like agreement. If Eddie wants it, Buck wants to give it to him. Eddie smiles, wicked and pleased, “I know what you are. Pretty face, pretty lips, and perfect little tits, begging for attention. I know you want it. Say you want it”.

“I want it”, Buck moans. Of course he wants it. He wants everything Eddie has to give him. He’d let Eddie behind him over his office desk, he wouldn’t even be ashamed at everyone hearing him—he wants everyone to know how easily he spreads his legs for Eddie, how loud he can moan his name. “Wanna be your toy. Want everyone to see what you do to me. Want everyone getting jealous–”

He’s cut off by Eddie’s hand curling around his neck. He’s not restricting Buck’s oxygen, not pressing hard enough to cause any real effect. But wearing Eddie like a necklace makes Buck run impossibly hotter, excited at the thought of the marks his fingers will leave. 

“Yeah, you love showing me off”, Buck grins, all white teeth and swollen lips, trying to rile Eddie up. “I know you too. You’d bend me over your desk all day if you could, get me begging for the tip–”

“Jesus, Buck”, Eddie groans, almost surprised by Buck’s ability to match him with every filthy thought that comes out of his mouth. “Fuck, I’m so close”.

“Come inside me, fill me up, please”, Buck begs, scraping his fingers down Eddie’s back, leaving angry, red scratches across his shoulder blades. “Make me take it, fuck, come inside me til I—“

Buck clamps his mouth shut with a groan, shoving his face into the side of Eddie’s neck. That thought is too much. He didn’t even know he wanted something like that, doesn’t even know what to name the desire. But, of course, Eddie has managed to unleash it in him. 

Eddie slows his pace and pulls back, looking down at Buck curiously. 

“What? What do you want, Buck?”

Seconds pass between them. Neither says anything. Eddie just cocks his head, waiting. Buck only flushes deeper, beyond embarrassed at being caught like this. Of course Eddie isn’t going to let it go, he’s gone completely still, happy to pause until Buck caves and tells him. 

Eddie’s still searching his gaze, looking for some sort of hint. “Come on, Buck. I can’t give you what you want if you don’t tell me”. 

“I want your baby”, Buck says, barely above a whisper.

Eddie’s eyes widen, just a fraction, like he can’t believe what he’s heard before he comes. He looks beautiful, mouth hanging open around a silent groan as he works through his orgasm. It feels so good—hot and wet and filthy—long pulses of his come flooding inside of Buck, who can’t help but lock his legs around Eddie’s waist, urging him to fuck his come deeper. 

It takes him a moment to catch up, but when Eddie comes back, he’s in full force.

“A baby?” Eddie teases, unhooking Buck's leg from his shoulder. It gives him a better angle to lean down and scrape his teeth against Buck’s cheekbone. His stubble scratches against Buck’s jaw, and Buck leans into it, hoping for the burn to mark him up. Eddie’s inside him, bullied against his prostate, and somehow Buck deliriously wants more. 

“You wanna be my wife, too?” Eddie asks, mouthing along Buck’s neck. “You could wear a pretty ring, take my name, let me try to knock you up every night”. 

“ Eddie ”, Buck gasps, squeezing his eyes shut. His whole body shudders as he comes, oversensitive and exhausted. But it still feels good, because Eddie keeps going, fucking him through the aftershocks with slower thrusts. 

“You’re something else”, Eddie laughs breathlessly. “You’re perfect”, Eddie kisses his birthmark, long, sweet presses of his lips against the strawberry-red skin. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted”, Eddie murmurs, shuffling away slightly, pulling out gently. 

The loss is devastating. After all that, Buck feels like he’s going to cry at the emptiness he feels. But Eddie makes up for it quickly: he lays down next to Buck, and pulls him against his chest, slinging his solid arm across Buck’s middle. 

Buck pulls him closer, bringing Eddie’s arm up to his mouth to smatter kisses across his tattoos. He’s always wanted to feel Eddie like this. It’s a delirious thought, but he’d suck the ink out of Eddie’s arm if it was possible. He just wants Eddie so much–he wants to begin where Eddie ends. Every part of him, every breath that leaves his mouth, Buck wants to inhale it for himself. He wants it to be impossible to tell them apart under a microscope. 

“I love you”, Buck says, half muffled by Eddie’s forearm across his mouth.

“Love you more”, Eddie murmurs back, lacing his fingers with Buck’s. 

They can shower later. 

It’s some time later, when Buck blinks awake. 

After they had showered and Eddie had changed the sheets, Buck had fallen asleep properly. It’s nighttime now, somewhere after eight. Eddie had already called the Wilson’s to check up on Chris, who was showing no signs of wanting to come home. 

“Hi sweetheart”, Eddie smiles. 

Eddie’s lying next to him–more accurately, under him, like the world's most loved body pillow. Buck has a leg hitched over Eddie’s hip, an arm slung across his middle and his head is pillowed on Eddie’s bicep. Buck resists the urge to turn over and bite into it. Later. 

“Hey there, handsome”, Buck smiles back. In the dim lamplight, Eddie really does look handsome. Sleep rumpled, still hazy and soft around the edges. He’s put on some clothes—a worn, red sleep shirt and grey sweatpants. His hair is disheveled, but that’s how Buck likes it, all loose and soft. Because he can now, Buck runs his fingers through it and then tugs Eddie by the back of his neck for a kiss. 

When they pull back, Eddie seems oddly shy. He’s fiddling with the hem of his shirt, avoiding Buck’s gaze.  Buck waits for him patiently, curious. 

“So was that … I mean, did you …” Eddie makes a wild gesture with his hands that Buck can’t even begin to understand. “Was it good?”

“Was it good?” Buck repeats, confused. Was it good? Was the sky blue? Did the sun rise in the east? How could Eddie even ask him that? “Eddie, my legs are still shaking. What do you mean, ‘was it good?’ ”.

“I’m just asking!” Eddie defends. 

Buck squints at Eddie, trying to figure out why he’s asking. 

“Is my review going in one of your spreadsheets?” 

“No! What?” Eddie looks down at Buck, incredulous look on his face, as if to ask, are you serious? “I just—I’ve never, uh, done that before. Not sex, I’ve had sex—“

“Obviously, Chris”, Buck interjects. 

“Yes, obviously”, Eddie says exasperated. “But I’ve never …” Eddie’s flush deepens, as if he didn’t spend two hours taking Buck apart. “With a man”. 

That genuinely surprises Buck. He would’ve thought that Eddie’s done this a hundred times over, given his confidence. Or at least once in college. Eddie was a baseball player, weren’t they notorious for that sort of thing? Or is that lacrosse players? Buck’s not sure. 

Buck clears his throat, trying to find how to ask what he’s been curious about for so long–

“Not even with David?”

Eddie sucks in a breath, startled. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting Buck to bring him up. 

“How do you know about David?”

“I—I’m sorry. I went through your books and he gave you one—so I just … “ Buck panics, trying to figure out how to explain himself. He knows better to snoop through Eddie’s things. “I don’t know, I wondered what happened with you two. But you don’t have to tell me, I shouldn’t have snooped like that. Let’s just—“

“It’s ok, Buck. I would’ve told you—I wanted to tell you about him”.

“When you’re ready to tell me, you can”.

Buck doesn’t expect Eddie to take him up on that, not for a long time. But Eddie always surprises him.

“He was my best friend”, Eddie says hoarsely. “We taught next door to each other—he was an English teacher. Anyway, he kept stealing my chalk and glue sticks and I kept taking his erasers”. There’s a smile on his face now, reminiscent and fond, and Buck wishes he could walk into Eddie’s mind to see those memories play out. 

“Then one day, we got locked inside the school gym for three whole hours. When we got out, we didn’t spend another minute apart. A year later, he transferred to a school in Denver–better salary, full time. And he wanted a break from that heat in Texas. But we stayed in touch and …”

Eddie sighs heavily. It’s full of remorse, of the weight of everything unsaid between them. 

“I didn’t understand what I felt for him until he moved away. I was going to tell him—we had plans to meet during the summer break”. Eddie closes his eyes, steadying himself with a deep breath through his nose. “But he died. Drunk driver. Fourth of July”.

Eddie doesn’t continue. He lets the words hang heavy in the air between them. The silence is awful, with neither of them having the right words to fill the gaps. 

Buck reaches for Eddie’s hand and holds it tightly, then brings it towards himself, so their hands are intertwined over Eddie’s chest. It’s a small gesture, but Eddie responds by squeezing Buck’s hand back gratefully. 

“Eddie, I’m so sorry”. 

“It was a long time ago. But it never goes away, not really”. Eddie purses his lips. “I’m going to be honest with you about that. So, I don’t know, if that bothers you–”

“No, of course not”, Buck says honestly. “You should do what you need to remember him properly”. Eddie makes a quizzical noise, as if he’s waiting for suggestions on how. So Buck clarifies, “Like, you can put up pictures of him”.

Eddie chews on the inside of his mouth, considering Buck’s words. And then he hesitantly asks, “Do you want to see him?” 

Buck nods wordlessly and Eddie reaches over to the bedside table for his phone. He clicks through the screen, opening what Buck assumes is a photo album. 

“That’s him”, Eddie says softly. 

It’s a class photo, Eddie stands on one side, David on the other. There’s about one hundred kids between them. They’re both looking into the camera, sharing a secret smile, like they know something everyone else in the room doesn’t. 

Buck can’t move past how young they look. David’s brown curly hair takes up most of his face, springing wildly around his ears and over his forehead. Even in the blurriness of the photo, Buck can see the dimples in David's cheek. He has beautiful green eyes, framed by thin, black-rimmed glasses, similar to the ones Eddie wears now. But in this picture, Eddie’s not wearing his glasses. 

He’s a different version of Eddie altogether. There’s a boyishness to him–his cheeks are so much rounder and softer, and his eyes are impossibly bigger, twinkling under the flash of the camera. 

Buck’s heart aches for both of them. 

Eddie swipes to another photo. It’s him and David at a concert, messy-haired and pink-cheeked, arms slung around each other’s shoulders. And then one more: Eddie and David at a teachers conference. They’re both in navy blue suits and red ties. Where Eddie’s hair is loose, David’s is gelled back and parted on the side, with one stray curl falling out. Something about it rings familiar. 

 “Wait. Oh, Eddie, you are so predictable—he looks like Superman”.

Eddie perks up, smiling widely, “See! I always said that and no one else saw it!” 

He looks happy. Genuinely happy, eyes crinkled and shoulders dropped, like the last few years have been shed, so Buck urges him to keep talking. 

“What was he like?"

Eddie puts his phone away and settles back into the pillows, so Buck can lay his head on Eddie’s chest comfortably. 

“He was an asshole”. Buck barks out a laugh in pure disbelief. That’s the first thing Eddie has to say? “No, I’m serious. The only way he knew how to get my attention was to rile me up—I don’t know if that’s because he had three older brothers or what, but he could be so annoying just for the sake of it”.  

Buck doesn’t know if he should burst Eddie’s bubble and tell him that David was just pulling on his pigtails. It’s a bit too fitting, given the whole schoolyard thing. Buck just snorts. 

Eddie continues, tangling his fingers into Buck’s hair, “But when I actually got to know him, he was … there isn’t a word for it”. Eddie’s voice goes soft, achingly so, as he conjures up the David he knew, “He was just so kind. He was smart. He was bright. And he was one of those awful people who was good at everything. He was just good all around. He was one of those guys who’d take his shirt off his back and give it to you, if you said you liked it”.

“He knew bits and pieces of nine different languages, just so he could talk to his students and neighbours and shop keepers. I think his heart was just too big for the world, you know? People like that, they never last”.

“I wish I had something better to say”, Buck whispers sadly. “I’m just sorry”. 

Eddie just shakes his head and holds Buck’s hand tighter, right over his heart. “Don't be. Thank you for letting me talk about him”.

The implication is clear: he hasn’t talked about David in a long time. It’s the least Buck could do for Eddie and he’d do it a hundred times over, if it meant the pain would lessen, even temporarily. 

“Of course”. 

“It’s why I couldn’t tell you that I–” Eddie stutters with a shaky exhale, “I love you. But David, now Shannon, I don’t have a good track record at keeping people. I was—I was scared that if I changed things too suddenly, if I put a name to it, I’d lose you in the process”. 

Buck almost laughs at the absurdity of that. Eddie would never, ever lose Buck. Not for anything. He’d give up everything in the world before he’d give up Eddie. He’s beyond lucky to have stumbled into Eddie’s life one day and be given the boundless trust, affection and kindness that he has. But he doesn’t laugh, because he doesn’t want Eddie to take it the wrong way.

“Oh, Eddie. You wouldn’t lose me. Never. I’m so lucky to know you, to have you. I fell for you the day I met you–”

“You mean when you tried to decapitate me with a rolling pin?” 

“Stop it”, Buck pouts. “I was so stressed out”. 

“I’ll say”, Eddie snorts. 

“Whatever, stop deflecting. Believe it, I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care what you think could scare me off”. Buck lists of what he believes was holding Eddie back from pursuing a relationship, “You’re not old. And I love Chris just as much as I love you and I’ll always understand that he comes first. And I don’t care that you’re divorced or graying—“

“Am I?” Eddie asks, alarmed. 

God, this idiot. Buck is going to marry him. 

“No”, Buck assures gently. He didn’t know this was such a sensitive topic. And he doesn’t understand why it is—because the thought of being with Eddie, watching him go through the phases of life, makes Buck’s heart flutter. He imagines Eddie in thirty, forty years: crinkles etched around his mouth and under his eyes, grey in his beard and the edges of his hair, papery skin giving way to the rivers of veins in his hands. 

He’s just as beautiful as the day Buck saw him. 

Buck’s voice is considerably thicker when he continues, “But even if you do, it wouldn’t matter to me. You’re still going to be just as handsome”. 

“Yeah, yeah”, Eddie says with a playful roll of his eyes, pulling Buck in for another kiss. It’s unhurried and indulgent, Eddie’s hand cupping his jaw, slow strokes of his thumb and forefinger as if they’ve got all the time in the world. 

And they do.

In one hundred and eighteen evenings from today, Buck will hide a ring box in the corner of the pantry that Eddie never touches–the shelf of cooking appliances. That same evening, Eddie will go into the pantry, craving the double chocolate chip cookies that Buck bakes especially for him. 

He’ll accidentally knock over the hand mixer, and in his attempt to set it back, he’ll find the velvet box. He’ll laugh, love-struck and overjoyed, because he’s had a ring box hidden in the last drawer of his office since Christmas eve–when he went out with Adriana under the pretense of ‘last minute shopping’. But really, it was to get her opinion on what would be better: their birth stones on the band, or an engraving of their initials inside the band (he ended up getting both). 

He won’t let Buck beat him to it. Neither of them will beat the other, because Buck and Eddie are two halves a whole.They’ll propose on the same morning, teary-eyed and grinning, too eager to wait until their dinner reservations. They won’t even have to fake a proposal for thirty percent off on the dessert this time. 

“I love you”, Eddie mumbles against Buck’s lips. It sounds like the promise of forever .