Chapter Text
The days passed, and Sakura had already established a routine in Suna. In the mornings, she immersed herself fully in her duties at the hospital, giving seminars and training the medical staff with great enthusiasm. She felt that this task filled her with a deep sense of purpose, temporarily taking her away from the thoughts that troubled her.
However, there was something that escaped the control of that routine: the encounters with the Kazekage Gaara. Every time Sakura returned to the palace, she used to come across the serene figure of the redhead, who greeted her warmly and asked about the progress of the training.
Sakura enjoyed those moments, in which it seemed that everything else faded into the background. They talked about the hospital, the ideas Gaara had for Suna, and sometimes even more personal topics. But she always avoided mentioning Sasuke, she didn't want to be a burden to the Kazekage when he had already been so kind to her.
However, on one of those occasions, when the soft breeze dragged small grains of sand that tangled in Sakura's hair, she could feel Gaara's penetrating gaze on her. When she looked up, she saw a clear concern reflected in his aquamarine eyes.
"Are you better with regards to you know who?" Gaara asked, his voice calm but laden with meaning.
Sakura looked at him in surprise, suddenly feeling vulnerable. She wanted to deny it, to divert the conversation, but the warmth and trust emanating from Gaara made her know that she could trust him, but letting out what she was guarding inside still seemed like it would be a nuisance and inappropriate.
"I... " she hesitated, lowering her gaze. "Can we talk about something else? I don't want to be a bother with my issue. I appreciate it, but..."
"You're not a bother," Gaara interrupted, moving a little closer to her. "I told you before, I'm here to listen to you if you need it. And I've noticed that lately you get lost in your thoughts, I suppose your thoughts are "him."
Sakura raised her gaze, meeting the Kazekage's serene and understanding look. She felt a comforting warmth envelop her, giving her the confidence she needed to open up and the assurance of being heard but not judged.
"Sometimes... it's inevitable," she confessed in a whisper. "I know I have to move on, but it's so hard to forget him. And with that, my feelings come back and I feel pathetic again."
"I know what that feels like, Sakura," he said, his gaze acquiring a more personal nuance. "I have also considered myself pathetic in the past."
Sakura looked at him with surprise, perceiving the honesty in his words.
"When I was younger, I hated myself for being unable to control my emotions, my darkness," Gaara confessed. "I saw myself as a monster, unworthy of being loved."
Sakura could see the echo of that suffering that had once consumed him in his clear eyes.
"But over time, I learned that this self-contempt only kept me trapped in a cycle of pain," Gaara continued. "I already told you that you are not pathetic, Sakura. Loving so deeply is a strength, not a weakness."
Sakura felt that Gaara's words resonated deeply within her. Seeing him so vulnerable in sharing his own experience gave her a new perspective.
"It's hard for you to forget Sasuke because what you feel for him is genuine," Gaara said. "And that's not something you should be ashamed of."
Sakura nodded, feeling the weight that had been oppressing her start to lighten.
"I also had to learn to accept and value my own emotions," Gaara confessed. "And you will too, with patience and compassion towards yourself."
Sakura looked at him with new admiration, understanding how much the Kazekage had had to fight to reach that point.
"Thank you, Gaara-sama," she murmured, her eyes shining with renewed hope. "Your words mean a lot to me."
Gaara nodded silently, and Sakura could see a slight smile form on his lips.
...
Sakura knew that Gaara, who had gently given her a hand, was figuratively taking her arm. He was the Kazekage, he had to occupy his time with his people, but lately he had been with her, listening to her, advising her and providing his valuable company.
That made her feel truly guilty.
She didn't know how to handle it. Sometimes, while he spoke in his calm and reflective tone, she could barely hold his gaze. Not because it bothered her, but because she didn't understand why someone like him, with so much on his shoulders, was helping her so much.
One morning, while reviewing her notes for the next seminar, her fingers stopped on a blank page. She couldn't concentrate. Her thoughts returned to the previous night, to the moment when Gaara said goodbye to her with a long look, as if he had wanted to say more, but had restrained himself.
She sighed, resting her forehead on the paper.
She didn't want to become a burden, in the past she had felt that way many times, and she didn't want to feel that way again.
And yet, every time he was near, she felt something akin to relief. Not for what he said, but for how he said it. With that calm that did not demand, that did not pressure. He just was. And that was enough to sustain her.
She straightened up again, forcing herself to concentrate. She had work to do. She had a purpose in Suna beyond her emotions, and she wasn't going to betray that trust.
...
One afternoon, Sakura went out to the palace garden, which consisted of a kind of oasis surrounded by vegetation, while seeking a moment of tranquility. She carried a folder containing details about the various poisons and medicinal plants in the area, and in her hand she held a steaming cup of tea.
To her surprise, Gaara was already there, sitting on a bench under the shade of a palm tree. The Kazekage said nothing when he saw her, but he diverted his gaze to the empty space next to him, as if extending a silent invitation.
Sakura approached with some insecurity, and Gaara made a slight gesture with his head, indicating that she could take a seat next to him. She obeyed, settling down carefully.
For a few minutes, silence took over the small garden, broken only by the soft whisper of the wind dragging the grains of sand. The atmosphere was soft, almost comfortable, as if it didn't need to be filled.
Sakura, instead of setting about to read the folder she had brought, chose to enjoy the tea, observing the plants that grew, especially the strangely shaped cacti, crowned by striking flowers.
"Do you like them?" Gaara asked with his usual serenity.
Sakura blinked, surprised. She had forgotten for a moment that he was watching her.
"Yes... they're beautiful," she replied, and then, after a brief pause, "A little strange too. I guess that's why they catch my attention."
"Are they also your favorites?" Gaara inquired, with a tone so calm that he seemed not to expect a specific answer.
Sakura looked at him, tilting her head, curious.
"Also?" she repeated. "Then... are cacti your favorite plants?"
Gaara didn't respond right away. He just turned his gaze to a nearby cactus, one particularly tall, covered in thick thorns.
"Yes," he finally said.
Sakura smiled, looking at the plant as well.
"It makes sense. You're a bit like one," she murmured, more to herself than to him.
Gaara turned his head slightly towards her.
"Do I resemble a cactus?" he asked, without a trace of annoyance, only genuine curiosity.
Sakura blushed instantly at having been overheard.
"It's just... cacti protect themselves with thorns. Like your sand does with you."
As she spoke, she slowly raised her hand, in an unconscious gesture of approach. Instantly, the sand reacted, rising between them like a barrier.
Sakura gently withdrew her hand and lowered her gaze.
"See?" she murmured, with an embarrassed smile. "It's always there to protect you."
A small silence followed. Sakura felt the shame growing in her chest like ivy.
"Sorry... it was a silly comment. Out of place too," she added in a low voice.
Gaara observed her for a few seconds. Then he looked back at the cactus.
"It's the first time someone has compared me to one," he said calmly. "I suppose... it's not so strange. As you said, the sand protects me like the thorns protect a cactus."
There was a pause.
"But there are also cactuses without thorns," he added in an almost meditative tone. "Although I... may not be one of those."
Sakura glanced at him sideways. Her fingers played with the edge of the tea cup.
"Maybe someday you will be," she murmured. "I mean, if you find someone who makes you want to lower that barrier, who inspires trust, who makes you feel like you don't need to protect yourself all the time."
The silence that followed was not uncomfortable. Gaara's gaze remained fixed on her for a few seconds longer than usual. Before turning it away and asking her about her folder. In response to that question, Sakura commented on the poisons, antidotes and everything related to them, while Gaara listened attentively.
...
The days passed and Sakura felt increasingly comfortable in Suna. In addition to her encounters with Gaara, she felt welcomed by the hospital staff as well as the various residents who were treated by her.
One day, Kankuro surprised her by offering to take her on a tour of Suna. Sakura gladly accepted, enjoying the company of the Kazekage's brother as she admired the colorful markets and the peculiar constructions of the hidden village.
"I see you've been adapting well," Kankuro commented with a crooked smile as they walked among the market stalls.
"Yes, everyone has been very kind," Sakura replied sincerely. "Especially your brother. Although... isn't he too busy? I feel like I'm taking up his valuable time."
Kankuro raised an eyebrow, amused.
"Oh, he's always busy," he said in a carefree tone. "But lately... he's found the time."
Sakura blinked, confused.
"Is that good?"
Kankuro let out a brief laugh.
"Of course it is. The stubborn one needed to relax a bit. And it seems you have that effect on him," he added with an almost imperceptible wink.
Sakura blushed slightly, lowering her gaze.
"I don't think it's that much..."
"The Kazekage doesn't take many breaks. Now that he does it with you around... well, do the math," he said with a shrug, as if he didn't want to get involved but did it anyway.
Sakura blushed slightly, unsure how to interpret those words. She preferred to change the subject, focusing on praising how fascinating she found the culture and lifestyle in Suna. And the detail that had not escaped her notice of the movement in the area, and to her question Kankuro told her that there would soon be a festival as well as a puppet theater booth.
...
During the breaks, she used to come across Gaara again, who was interested in the progress and offered his opinion. Sakura deeply appreciated those moments of conversation, feeling that little by little, a special connection was being forged between them.
Although the memories of Sasuke still lingered in her mind, Sakura made an effort not to let them consume her. She knew she had to focus on the present, on making the most of this opportunity that had presented itself in Suna.
And with each passing day, Sakura felt that she was finding a little more of the peace and happiness she had been searching for.
...
One night, as she climbed to the palace terrace, Sakura found Gaara with his gaze fixed on the starry sky. His silhouette outlined against the firmament, motionless and serene, seemed to merge with the silence of the desert. The Kazekage turned before Sakura could speak.
"Can't you sleep?" he asked softly.
She shook her head, without explaining and not wanting the reason to have a name and surname. She didn't want to think about him, but in the silence, without wanting to, she ended up searching for him. She just sighed, truly tired. Sometimes she thought that fighting her feelings was like fighting a sandstorm.
"I was going to take a walk around the territory," Gaara said, his voice low and calm. "Do you want to come with me?"
As soon as he formulated the invitation, the sand that surrounded him stirred and began to rise, forming a floating platform the size of a rug.
Sakura looked at him, surprised.
"Do you want me to get on your sand?"
Gaara nodded.
"Do you trust me?" he asked, his aquamarine eyes fixed on hers.
Sakura held his gaze without hesitation and answered affirmatively.
Then, the sand slid delicately around her, lifting her up to form a firm base under her feet. Gaara got on with her, and together they began to ascend gently, flying over the sleeping streets of Suna.
Sakura held her breath. From that height, the village stretched out like a sea of lights, shining with a stillness that seemed unreal. The sky above their heads was a mantle of stars, and for a moment, all her pain, all her burden, seemed to be left behind, below, among the shadows.
A fresh breeze from the desert caressed her face, causing her a slight shiver. Without saying a word, Gaara took off his Kazekage robe and placed it gently over her shoulders.
"The nights in the desert are cold," he said, his tone as careful as the gesture.
Sakura blushed, grasping the fabric between her fingers with softness. She felt the weight of the garment, but also the weight of its symbolism.
"Thank you... but I don't think you should hand over your robe like that," she murmured, more out of respect than modesty.
Gaara looked at her calmly, not taking his eyes off her face.
"I know you'll return it to me," he said simply.
They flew in silence for a while, contemplating Suna from above. Sakura thought that that view must be a privilege reserved for very few. And that he had wanted to share it with her.
The wind blew more strongly at that height, caressing Sakura's face and making the Kazekage's robe sway softly around her. She said nothing, just observed the horizon in silence, her eyes half-closed by the breeze, but within her there was a latent sadness in her expression, a melancholy that she had not been able to shake off completely, despite the magical stillness of the moment.
Gaara glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.
"If you want to scream, you can do it," he suddenly said, without taking his gaze off the firmament.
Sakura looked at him, perplexed.
"Scream?"
"No one will hear you from up here," he continued, with that calm of his that didn't sound cold, but deeply present. "You're above everything. The village. The duties. The expectations. Of... him."
There was a pause.
Sakura swallowed, unsure whether to smile or cry. It was as if Gaara had read her mind and her heart.
"You can do it," he repeated, more softly this time.
Sakura let out a brief laugh, between incredulous and moved.
"Are you really offering me to scream?"
"I'm offering to free you... at least a little," Gaara replied, and in his tone there was a sincerity so sincere that a lump formed in Sakura's throat.
She remained silent for a few seconds, taking a deep breath, feeling the wind ruffling her hair, how the firm sand beneath her feet vibrated with Gaara's energy.
And then she did it.
Sakura brought her hands to her mouth and screamed.
Not a perfect, rehearsed scream. It was clumsy, broken, half-choked by the accumulated emotions. She screamed everything she hadn't said. Her pain. Her anger. Her confusion. Her frustrated love. Her weariness of having it chase her even in her dreams.
She screamed until she ran out of breath.
When she finished, she bent forward, resting her hands on her thighs, breathing heavily.
Gaara said nothing. He seemed to have been waiting for her.
So when Sakura straightened up again, she ran a hand over her face and let out a small laugh.
"Well... now I must look like a lunatic," she murmured, both embarrassed and amused.
Gaara observed her with serenity, and his response came without hesitation:
"No. You look like someone who is allowing themselves to express what they feel," he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
She looked at him. And for the first time in a long time, she felt that her chest didn't weigh so much, she felt lighter.
Not cured. Not unscathed. But a little more free.
"Thank you, Gaara-sama," she said in a low voice, sincere. He nodded gently as Sakura could glimpse a barely perceptible smile curving Gaara's lips.
After that, the rest of the walk passed in silence. Not an uncomfortable one, but full of meaning. One of those silences that say more than any word.