Chapter Text
Sakae had barely slept that night. Something felt wrong and it was causing a bit of insomnia and restless sleep for him. The Alpha Ichinose had decided that some tea would do him some good as he headed out of his room. He had finished up closing up on the house and already had the keys for it. Now, it was just getting it furnished and moving into it. It would be Guren’s home, but he would keep it in his name for the time being. It felt like the right thing to do. He just hadn’t told Guren about it yet. Sakae pulled on his overthrow long robe as he started down the hall. He had peeked in on his grandchildren to see that they were still asleep. Due to how long everything took, Guren and the children had already ate and went to bed before he had gotten home. Guren had left him a plate. Already set and ready for him. It had just needed warmed up.
Sakae made sure that all of his grandchildren were asleep before continuing down the hall. He stopped at Guren’s room but froze whenever he noticed Guren was not in bed. Sakae felt his stomach drop for a second as he stepped into the room and said, “Guren?” Guren was not in his bed. The blanket was thrown back to show he had once been there. Guren had been sound asleep whenever he had seen him earlier. He also hadn’t heard anything. Sakae walked further in and stopped at the bathroom door as he heard the shower was running. The door was wide open, and the room was dark, but he could hear it. “Guren?” He said again. He carefully stepped in as he noticed that the shower door was open through a bit of the light from the window that was above the shower. It illuminated the room just enough that he could see.
Then he heard soft muttering. It almost sounded like a mixture of, “Stop.” And “Don’t.” It was so soft. Playing almost like a broken record in a way as he listened to the sound of it. It made his stomach twist violently from listening to it. It was definitely Guren speaking. That was his voice. It was so soft. It was making his stomach twist into a series of knots from hearing the tone that was in it.
“Guren?” Sakae murmured as he reached over and turned on the bathroom light. His heart sank as he saw Guren fully clothed in the shower. He was sitting on the floor of it with his arms curled and his legs pulled up to himself. It almost looked like a sitting up version of the fetal position. Guren was actively guarding himself. Shielding himself away and making himself look as small as possible. It only made his heart hurt worse in that moment. He could see how much Guren was shivering underneath the water. He walked over and reached over to touch the water. It was freezing. Sakae had turned and grabbed for some towels. The Alpha Ichinose stopped for a moment as he noticed the sickness that was in the toilet, and he sighed softly. He reached over and flushed it away before putting his attention back on Guren. “You’re going to get sick if you stay under that.” Sakae murmured as he kept his voice soft. Guren didn’t react to him. He was still muttering under his breath.
Sakae turned the shower off and kneeled down in front of his son. The Omega was shivering. He was practically shuddering so violently that Sakae could see it from a distance. It was so much worse close up. There were goosebumps all over his skin, and his clothes were completely soaked through. His hair was sticking to his head from how soaked that it was. Sakae just moved to wrap a towel around him and placed it over his shoulders as he kept the others in his lap for the time being.
This could be anything.
Post Traumatic Stress? Was he having an episode or something? Rape Trauma Syndrome? Both? Both of those had been mentioned before as Guren possibly having. He had been displaying signs of them ever since Sakae had seen him again. Sakae knew of the symptoms, and they were on full display in that moment. Guren showed some before like hyper vigilance, the need to not be touched, having moments where it looked like he had completely spaced out. Guren was constantly on edge, and it showed. It was showing even more now. In this moment, it looked like a completely detached state. There was a big part of him wondering if Guren could even hear him at all.
“Guren,” Sakae murmured, “Let’s get you into some dry clothes and back to bed.” He was trying to be as calm and reassuring as possible. That’s what Guren needed right now. Guren needed him to be understanding. He needed him to be supportive. He needed him to be patient. But Sakae was also his father. It didn’t matter how old Guren got. He was still his son, and Sakae would do anything for him.
Whenever he reached out to grab for Guren’s hands, Guren suddenly flinched. It wasn’t a subtle one like usual but a complete jolting back and slamming his back into the wall as he held his arms up towards his face almost in a defensive manner. “Don’t touch me.” The tone alone had Sakae wanting to break into tears. Guren was actively shielding himself. Like he thought that Sakae was going to hit him. His voice was between defensive and cracking. “Don’t.”
“Guren,” Sakae said again, “It’s Dad.” He looked over Guren’s face to see that there was this look of denial in his son’s eyes. Like there was absolutely no recognition in his eyes. Disbelief even. Guren’s eyes had this clouded over and distant look to them from where he could see them. “It’s okay. You’re okay… I’m just trying to help you. I’m not going to hurt you. It’s me, Guren.”
That made Guren freeze before he shook his head, “No… No… That’s not…” Guren had turned completely away from him. The denial was all over his face. He was practically pushing himself up against the wall to get as much distance between them as possible. It was like Guren had completely dissociated. Guren let out a shaky breath as he shook his head, “I won’t do it again. I won’t do it again…” Guren was practically repeating it completely on loop. Like a desperate plea to get Sakae to listen to him. Only, Guren wasn’t speaking to him. “Just… stop.”
Sakae let out a shaky breath as he looked over Guren’s face. How exactly did he get through to him? This was the worst of what he had seen so far. “Son,” Sakae murmured, “It’s your father. You’re safe. He’s not here.”
Guren shook his head, “No.” The Omega had slightly slammed himself against the wall from the frustration that laced into his voice. Guren’s voice cracked, “Where is he? I need…” The Omega choked again and curled up more, “I can take it. I can take it… I just… Where is he?” Confusion. It really sounded like Guren was in a state of denial and uncertainty. This had to be some sort of dissociative episode. Sakae was sure of it. Flashing back to a moment from before and it was starting to mix back in with the present and reality.
Sakae let out a soft sigh as he felt like his heart was shattering more. He shuffled a bit closer as Guren cracked his eyes open. Violet eyes locked to him. Watching his every move as Sakae kept his hands were Guren would be able to see them at all times. “Guren, do you know where you are right now?” Guren didn’t answer him. Instead, his son just kept looking at him as Sakae forced the smile to his face. Guren didn’t have a look of trust on his face. Rather, it looked like his guard went up even higher. “Come on… Let’s go get you changed and into something warm.”
He held out his hands and waited for Guren to make the first move. The Omega’s gaze dropped down to his hands as he eyed them. It felt like an eternity of just kneeling there. Unmoving and waiting for Guren to make the first move. Keeping his hand out and waiting. Guren’s gaze never moved away from his hands. It was such a blank stare.
Slowly, Guren did reach over and take his hands. Guren’s fingers were so cold against his. He had curled tightly around his. Sakae kept the smile on his face as he stood up and straightened his back. Guren followed the movement and shakily got back to his feet. Sakae let go of Guren’s hands and instead worked to wrap the towel tighter around him as he grabbed for the other towel he had grabbed and started to ring out his hair. That compliance again. Sakae had noticed this same thing many times since his son came home. Guren showed complete and utter compliance whenever it seemed like he was given an order. Sakae hated that. It was just more of that conditioned state that he was seeing. In this type of mindset, Sakae was sure that Guren would do anything that he was told. What even caused this? There was nothing that he could think of. A nightmare, possibly?
Guren just stayed there. Completely frozen in place as Sakae worked to ring out his hair of the icy water. Sakae did notice that Guren was back to wearing only a large t-shirt, but he had also noticed the choker around his neck. Sakae didn’t dare touch it. As much as he hated what it would symbolize in his son’s mind, he knew that touching it whenever Guren was in a state like this would be a severely bad idea. Once he was finished with Guren’s hair, he carefully curled an arm around his son’s back and started to coax him out of the bathroom with soft reassurances. He had never seen Guren like this. Not once throughout their entire lives had he ever seen Guren react like this. It made his heart shatter. His son was suffering.
Sakae flipped out the bathroom light as they got back into Guren’s room. Guren had stopped in the middle of the room whenever Sakae dropped his arm. He had stopped exactly in the place where Sakae had stopped touching him at. The Alpha Ichinose eyed his son for a moment before going over to the dresser. Just put Guren into what makes him comfortable right now. So, he found another large t-shirt, but he did grab a pair of sweatpants. As he was ruffling through the drawers, he stopped at the unopened box of boxers that were still there. Still completely untouched. Thinking back to Guren’s interview came to mind as he clenched his jaw. It all made sense now. Guren didn’t even attempt to put them on because it was just what he knew. Guren was going purely on habit and instinct. What he was told.
Sakae placed down the other clothes as he picked up the box and ripped it open. Maybe he could talk Guren into putting them on. Just to get him back into the routine of actually wearing them. Once he had a pair of them in hand, he dropped the box and closed up the dresser then grabbed the other clothes. Show him that it was okay to wear them again. That Tenri wasn’t here to tell him what he could and couldn’t wear. Guren never had to do that again. Sakae would make sure of it. Now, they needed to start breaking that habit. There might be a chance that he could stop that now. Sakae didn’t like this feeling that it felt like he was somehow manipulating his son into it, but he was doing what he had to do.
He moved over to where Guren was as he murmured, “Get out of your soaked clothing, okay?” Guren eyed him for a second with that same distant look in his eyes. The Omega let out a shaky breath as he dropped the towel and moved to take off the clothes. Sakae had made sure to look away as Guren was doing so. Once the soaked piece of clothing was dropped to the floor, Sakae held out the other clothes, “Put these on. They’ll be nice and warm.”
Guren did reach out and took them. Through the corner of his eye, he could see that Guren had picked up the boxers and looked at them, “I’m not allowed to wear these.”
Sakae turned back to his son and smiled, “Yes, you are.” Maybe it was taking advantage of whatever state his son was in, but he just needed to get him into warm clothes and warmed up. Guren’s skin was still covered in goosebumps, and he looked pale. His lips even lost color to them. “Go ahead and put them on, Guren. It’s okay.”
Guren shook his head, “No… No, it’s not. It’s not okay… It won’t be okay.” Guren’s voice was shaking again. Sakae wasn’t sure if Guren was talking to him or himself. “I… I can’t.”
Guren looked like he was on the verge of panicking as Sakae stepped forward and quickly said, “It’s okay. You can wear them. Can you please put them on for me?”
Guren had looked back at him for a moment before he let out a shaky breath and moved to get dressed. Sakae had turned around to give him a bit of privacy again as he scooped up the wet clothing and went to deposit it into the laundry basket. He would need to make sure those got done quickly since they were soaking wet now. Guren was talking so openly now compared to the way that he had been guarded before. It had to be because of all of this. It was just slipping out.
Sakae turned around and grabbed a blanket off of the bed and put his attention back on Guren. Guren was now dressed and shifting on his feet. Guren was still shivering whenever Sakae puffed out the blanket and threw it over his shoulders and pulled it tightly around him, “There we are.” Sakae whispered with a smile, “Why don’t we get some tea so you can warm up your hands.” Sakae had taken the moment to adjust the blanket to make sure that it was completely wrapped over Guren’s body. Blankets were a good method of feeling safe and secure. Not completely constricting but warm. He heard that sometimes therapy patients would wrap up in blankets during their sessions just because it did make them feel better. Like it was a shield. Maybe, it would be the same in this situation and he could use that a bit to help Guren right now.
Guren needed to feel… safe.
The Omega didn’t fight it this time or flinch away from him as Sakae wrapped an arm back around him and guided him from the room. Sakae continued to mutter soft reassurances as he felt like he was being punched right in the gut. This was definitely far worse than a nightmare or a night terror. Guren was clearly wide awake, but he wasn’t actually there. This was like a completely separated state the more that Sakae observed Guren’s reactions, words, and behavior. Sakae had no idea what he could truly do. The mind was a tricky tool. The things that it would do to protect someone, but how it could also haunt someone at the same time.
Sakae had guided Guren to the family room and had him sit on the couch while he quietly slipped away to go make up some tea. There were moments that he saw Guren and then there were these ones. The ones where Guren’s vulnerabilities were showing. It made Sakae want to break down and cry. It made him feel even more guilty for not realizing that something had been off about Tenri’s behavior before. Sakae had kept listening for any sounds from Guren as he had gotten the tea started to prepare. Sakae decided to do something more calming and relaxing. Something that could help sooth Guren back to sleep. That was clearly a dissociative like state. A trance of a flashback that Guren had gone into. It broke his heart to see. They were definitely going to need to have a serious conversation whenever Guren was back into focus.
Guren needed help.
This was far more than what he or any of Guren’s friends could help with. Guren needed professional help. Like a therapist or a Psychiatrist. Someone who knew how to handle this kind of thing and could help him to the best of their abilities. Someone who was trained. This wasn’t something that they could do. They could be supportive. Sakae had been giving Guren time and space, but his concern was growing even more. He had this feeling that Guren might not actively seek it out himself. He had thrown away the resources that he had been given. Guren was probably in denial about all of this. His son was hurting, and he was hurting a lot more than he was letting people see. That didn’t surprise him. Guren had always been that kind of person.
Suffer in silence.
Guren had all the information that he needed. Resources that were given to him to utilize. Sakae had found all of it in the trash. Guren might actually be thinking that either he didn’t need it or… he might be too ashamed in himself to reach out for help. He had them. Guren just wasn’t looking into it. It was not uncommon for someone in Guren’s position, who had suffered like him, to not want to seek out counseling or therapy. Some wanted to just forget that it ever happened. Others felt an arrangement of emotions that would cause them not too.
Guren had never really been the type to tell people what he really felt.
Even before all of this happened.
Sakae got the tea together and made up. The Alpha Ichinose grabbed ahold of the mugs and started to head off towards the living space. Whenever he had stepped back inside of the room, Guren was still sitting exactly where he had left him. He hadn’t even moved. His face hadn’t changed. Nothing. Sakae sighed softly as he crossed the room and sank down on the couch as he placed the mugs down. The Alpha Ichinose placed one right in front of Guren and he saw his son’s gaze move towards it as Sakae smiled gently towards him.
Guren’s eyes still had that distant look to them. That haunted look that Sakae had seen with people who suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Guren was still within that state. He was just far calmer. Sakae reached for another blanket and brought it around Guren’s shoulders and draped it there to give Guren the freedom of his hands. He reached for the mug and held it out towards the Omega.
Guren kept eyeing the mug and eventually took it. Guren curled his fingers around it and lowered it to just keep it in his lap rather than taking a drink from it. He barely heard the almost inaudible, “Thank you.” That came from Guren. His voice was so soft again, but it had less of that tone to it. It sounded more grounded than before, but the look in his eyes was still distant.
Guren still didn’t do much of anything as he sat there and just stared down at the liquid inside of the mug. Sakae stayed quiet for now as he leaned back and took a sip of his own tea. He needed to be patient. Wait for Guren. Don’t push him. Right now was not the moment to try and be pushing him for anything. Guren just needed some time.
So, Sakae had waited.
He sat there and quietly sipped on his tea as he waited for that look to leave Guren’s eyes. Guren had been suffering nightmares every single night. Many of them, he had heard and helped to try and stop. Some, he might have not even noticed. He couldn’t imagine anything that his son might be feeling. What he might be seeing in his sleep. All he could do was be there. Be patient and watch. Watch for whatever set Guren off and help to try and avoid it. He also really needed to get Guren into some form of therapy. Something. Only, no one could force Guren to go. Sakae wasn’t going to force Guren into anything. That was the last thing that he wanted to do, especially after Tenri had taken every single one of Guren’s decisions away from him. Guren hadn’t been able to have any control within his life. Now, it was in Guren’s hands. All he could do is try and convince him into going. Guren had the right to make that decision for himself.
It was about patience, compassion, and understanding.
Urging and reassuring to make sure that Guren could get there.
Sakae had no doubt in his mind if they tried to force him, Guren would tell the therapist whatever he thought that they wanted to hear just so he could get out of it faster. It had to be a decision that he made for himself. Guren knew exactly what to do and make himself believable to get what he wanted or for whatever he needed to do.
With each passing moment, Guren was starting to look even more exhausted, but he still had this faint, distant look in his eyes. Guren’s fingers curled a bit harder around the mug as Sakae heard a soft, “I saw you…” Sakae leaned forward and put his mug down as he turned a bit towards the Omega. Guren looked like he was going to be sick again. His skin looked slightly pale as Sakae noticed the thin layer of sweat on his body now. He looked feverish despite the shiver that he had. For a moment, he had thought it had just been damp skin from the shower, but it was the look on Guren’s face that told him otherwise. Guren slowly looked over to him, shaking his head, “Before Hinata was born… I saw you.”
“You saw me?” Sakae murmured. It only took a second for him to realize exactly what he was talking about. Sakae inhaled sharply as the memory came rushing back. That moment on the street. The moment he had seen his son and called out to him. Was that really… him? Had it really all been true? That was actually real? It wasn’t just a figment of his imagination or something that his mind came up with because he was drunk? “That really was you.”
Guren choked for a second as he looked away and sucked in a deep breath. Sakae could hear it catch in his throat as he saw a wetness in his son’s eyes. Guren blinked a few times and focused back down onto the mug in his hands. “I heard you call out to me.” Guren whispered. “I thought I was dreaming it at first.” His voice was so soft. Then suddenly, Guren let out a soft, breathy laugh of disbelief as he shook his head again. “It was the first time he didn’t make me wear that disguise… And I saw you… Right across the street.” Why did it sound like Guren felt… guilty? It could see it written all over his face and even in his eyes despite that distant look. “You were just standing there, and I saw you.” Guren continued on, “I panicked.” The Omega let out another shaky breath and shook his head again, “I panicked, and I ran. I could… I could hear you calling for me the whole time.” Guren choked for a second as his fingers tightened around the mug to the point that his knuckles were white. “I kept going. I couldn’t… I couldn’t let you get to me.”
“Guren,” Sakae whispered as he carefully reached out and placed his hand onto Guren’s upper back. It caused the Omega to look over to him. Guren could barely look him in the eye at that moment. Guren just shook his head again. “Hey… You did what you had to do.”
Guren looked back to him again and that guilty look intensified. “I choose… him.” Guren muttered as his voice cracked slightly. “I picked him over you.” Sakae just kept looking at Guren for a moment. There were a range of emotions swimming in Guren’s eyes now. Guren looked back down as he leaned forward to place the mug down. Guren looked like he was on the verge of tears as he blinked them away, “I picked my rapist over my own father.” The Omega leaned back, pulling his legs up to himself as he curled the blanket completely around himself. Almost as if it was a shield between him and the rest of the world. “He would have killed you if he knew.” Guren let out another shaky breath. “He was ready to kill all of you if I didn’t do what he wanted. All he had to do was make one phone call and… it all would have been for nothing.” Guren looked ready to break down again as he murmured, “How can you just… forgive me?”
“Guren,” Sakae murmured. He used the type of voice to get Guren to look up at him. Has Guren been harboring guilt over that for all this time? That was over three years ago. Sakae felt his chest tighten again. He smiled again as he felt like he had been punched in the gut just from what Guren was saying. This entire time, it really had been what he thought. Guren had mentioned it before in his interview with Detective Kijima. Tenri had threatened them to keep Guren compliant with him, and that was absolutely something that Guren would comply too. “You did what you had to do, and I will never blame you for that.” He tightened his grasp slightly as he smiled a bit more, “You don’t have to do that anymore. Let me be your father now. It’s my…” Sakae stopped for a second and choked as the emotions overwhelmed him for a moment. Guren’s violet eyes turned back to him. “It is not your responsibility to protect me. It’s my job to protect you.” There was a wave of emotions in Guren’s eyes as Sakae smiled a bit more, “You understand me? It’s not your fault. You did what you had to do.”
Guren shook his head again, “I couldn’t let him do it.” Guren sucked in another shaky breath as he turned away and curled up a bit more, “I hated what he was doing… But I would do it again if it meant he didn’t hurt any of you. It was the one thing he promised me, and he actually kept that promise.” Sakae watched as Guren’s hands tightened and his voice had dropped even softer, “He’s never lied to me. Everything he said that he was going to do… He did it…” Guren let out a shaky breath, “I believe him.”
“Oh, Guren,” Sakae murmured. He went to speak again but stopped from the look that Guren gave him.
“Why do I miss him?” Sakae had completely frozen in that moment. His eyes widened as his heart skipped a beat. Sakae felt sick to his stomach for a second as he saw what appeared to be a sincere look come to Guren’s eyes. “I hate him. I hate him more than I have ever hated anyone… But I want to see him again. After what he did… Why do I care? Is there something wrong with me?”
Sakae looked at Guren for a moment. Stockholm Syndrome. Trauma Bonding. It was all of those feelings for him. Guren was conflicted, and it was clear on his face. The Alpha Ichinose watched his son for a moment. The way that he was breathing. The sickly look to his face. Guren reached for his neck where Sakae could clearly see the bond mark. Guren had rubbed at it and winced. Sakae kept watching his son for a moment. It was starting to click in his mind.
Bond Withdrawals.
Sakae let out a sharp breath as he slipped off of the couch and turned to kneel in front of Guren. He kept the soft face on his smile and shook his head, “Guren… How long have you been feeling sick?” Carefully, he reached out and placed his hand against Guren’s. It felt slightly warmer than before. Guren was getting some color back into his skin and it was becoming a bit more clear to him. That had to be what started it tonight.
Guren’s own body was fighting against him now.
Guren looked to him in surprise as he shook his head, “What?” Guren actually sounded on the defensive side again. Sakae was going to take a guess and say that Tenri wouldn’t let Guren rest if he had felt sick. Most likely, Guren had to pretend that he felt fine and keep going on with his life even whenever he was sick.
“How long have you felt like this?” Sakae questioned.
Guren swallowed harshly and looked down. Guren had gone quiet. Extremely quiet as contemplation moved over his face. He rubbed at his neck again and Sakae watched. Most likely, it was tender, and it was sore. It might even have a sharp pain going through it from time to time. Sakae understood that feeling completely. Guren looked like he didn’t want to speak on it, but whenever he looked back to him, Sakae kept the smile on his face to try and reassure his son that it was okay.
“Since Ebina.” Guren admitted. “Since… I haven’t seen him.”
That had to be a part of it. The bond. Tenri had Guren so dependent on him that even the bond reflected that. Even Guren’s own instincts were solely reliant on Tenri, and that was not an easy thing to break. Guren looked like he was ready to faint. He looked so out of it despite the way that he was talking. His breathing was shallow and labored. Despite appearing to be sweating, he was shivering. Withdrawals. That’s what he was happening. Sakae was sure if he felt Guren’s pulse point, his heart was probably racing. It could even just be stress sickness, but Sakae wasn’t sold on that alone. It could be a complete mixture of all of it. Guren was going through a hell of a lot right now. All that could be sending his body right into sickness, and it could just get worse from here. Especially if it was what he thought it was.
He gave a soft sigh as he kept the smile on his face, “Guren, I need to take you to the Doctor. We can make a quick trip to the hospital and get you checked out.” The hospital would be the best place to go. At this time of night, it would be open. He needed Guren to go get medical treatment if he was right about this. Just from looking at his son now, it was seemingly more clear to him. Guren’s condition would only get worse from here on out. It appeared like it was in the early stages of it all. Add duress on top of it, and it was just a major recipe for disaster. If he was right, it was a type of sickness that would come and go. At some moments, Guren would feel perfectly fine, and then suddenly, it would take a nosedive, and he wouldn’t feel good. Until the moment that Guren wouldn’t be able to get out of bed at all because it all finally caught up to him.
Guren’s eyes widened as he shook his head, “No.” He whispered, “I’m not going to the hospital.” The Omega had tensed instantly. Even looking slightly angry at the idea of it. “I won’t go to the hospital.”
“Guren.” Sakae said with a bit more firmness as the Omega completely froze and just stared at him. “You need to go. If I am right… You are only going to get sicker until you can’t even get out of bed.”
Sakae knew that this might be a fight that he was going to lose. Sakae hated that. He was actually positive that this wasn’t Guren just being stubborn about it. The reason only had to make sense to Guren. Even if he forced him into the car and drove him to the hospital, a Doctor wouldn’t do anything if Guren said he refused medical attention. The only way Guren could be forced was either he was committed into the Psychiatric Ward – and Sakae was not going to do that – or he was unconscious and could not make the decision for himself. Guren was an adult. Doctors would listen to him, and that was Guren’s right. Even if Sakae didn’t think it was the right choice.
“Guren,” Sakae murmured as he shook his head, “It would be best to catch it early on if it is what I think it is. I don’t want to see you get really sick if we can help it.”
Guren shook his head again, “No. I’m not going.” Guren hissed out. The anger had flashed on his face for a second as he kept shaking his head, “It’s because of the hospital I’m in this mess to begin with.” Sakae froze. What? He had heard how Guren had been found. A car accident had sent all of them to the hospital and a Doctor had suspected abuse and reported it. “I…” Guren’s breathing was picking up as he kept shaking his head and squeezed his eyes shut. Guren appeared to be back in that torn limbo. Between what he actually wanted and what he was conditioned to do. “I never should have…” Guren suddenly stood up and swayed on his feet for a second as that sickly look came back to his face. “I am so tired of being poked and prodded and touched. I just… don’t want to do it.”
Sakae could understand that. Guren had gone through a Rape Kit, and that was highly invasive. Each time that Guren had been in the hospital now, either he had been unconscious, or he was stripped down to nothing and photographed and examined. Maybe it wasn’t really about the hospital turning in Tenri and more about Guren not wanting to be touched be someone he didn’t know.
“Guren,” Sakae murmured as he shook his head, “They aren’t going to do you harm. They just want to help you.”
Guren looked away from him as more of the anger started to show up on his face, “I’m fine.”
“Can you at least promise me that if you start to feel worse that you will tell me?” Sakae questioned. “And if you don’t seem to be getting better, I can take you?”
“I guess.” Guren whispered as he looked down. Well, that was something. “I’m fine, Dad.”
Sakae sighed softly, forcing the smile once more as he nodded, “Okay, Guren.” Sakae murmured, “But if it gets worse, I will take you.”
Guren just eyed him for a second before nodding. He could go with that. That was enough of an answer for right now, and it got his point across. Guren would have to make that decision when the time came.
If Sakae was right, it was just beginning stages. It wasn’t the worst point, and it would get worse, but Guren would have to be on board with going to the Doctor. No Doctor would force medical care onto an adult who was capable of understanding what would happen if they did not receive that care. Guren was an adult that was fully capable of making his own decisions, and a Doctor would take that into consideration. Sakae had to do the same thing. He couldn’t look at Guren like he was his teenage son, but his adult son. Guren wasn’t necessarily in his right mind at the moment, and Sakae would speak to him again after this about it. Maybe, it was just because Guren was overwhelmed that he was denying it. Wait until Guren was thinking more clearly and then speak to him about going. He could monitor Guren’s condition and watch to see what happened. It was nothing to be concerned about immediately, but Guren would need to seek out medical care eventually.
The two of them had fallen in silence for a little while as Sakae contemplated what to say next. Guren had a lot on his plate. New information that had been discovered for him. Uncovered memories. Haunting memories that were still coming back for him. Guren had a lot to cope with, and he needed patience and support over anything else.
Guren was not going to be just fine immediately.
And anyone who said otherwise would be a fool.
“Guren,” Sakae decided to start speaking again, “Are you concerned more about us than…?” Sakae almost couldn’t finish what he was saying as he looked down. “Guren, you don’t have to put us over yourself. You can think about you.”
Guren looked at him for a second, and the look that Guren had on his face said everything. “No one else can get hurt because of me.” The Omega swayed on his feet again and almost fell backwards.
Sakae stood up quickly and reached out to help Guren find his balance. “No one is going to get hurt.”
“Yes, you will! You all will!” Guren snapped, practically screaming it at him as he turned to look at him, “I know what he will do! I know what he’s capable of!” Sakae sighed from the sudden mood swing. He had been warned of this. The Omega looked so angry. It was flaring on his face as Guren shook his head. “What he would do. What he can do. I know that better than anyone.”
“Guren,” Sakae said back quickly as he reached out and placed his hands on Guren’s arms, “We can take care of ourselves. I promise—”
“You can’t promise me anything!” Guren screamed. “He will kill you because of me! If I do anything that he doesn’t like, he will take it out on you! I can’t let him hurt you because of me.”
“He won’t.” Sakae stated with a shake of his head, “Calm down, Guren. You are safe here. He can’t get to you.”
“Yes, he can!” The Omega exclaimed, “He can do absolutely anything, and no one can stop him!” Sakae felt like he had been paralyzed instantly from hearing that. His eyes widened as he inhaled sharply. Guren just shook his head. Guren let out a shaky breath as he dropped his gaze. “All it takes is one phone call! That’s all it takes, and you are dead!”
“Guren—” Sakae started but was immediately cut off again by Guren stepping back and shaking his head.
“He will kill all of you or he’ll hurt you just to prove it to me again.” Guren whispered as he kept shaking his head and tears had came to his eyes. “Why… Why won’t anyone just listen to me?” Guren sniffled slightly as he reached up and wiped at his face as he panted softly. “I don’t want too…” He whispered softly as that distant look came to his eyes, “But he owns me.” Guren’s gaze moved back up to Sakae now, “And… I gave myself to him.”
“Guren,” Sakae murmured, “You don’t have to do that anymore. He does not own you. You are your own person.”
“Was I ever?” Guren questioned as he looked down again. “All he wanted was someone who could fulfill all of his desires… And that was me.” Guren’s voice was so soft and ghostly. It sounded like an eerie way of saying what he wanted to say. It was becoming slowly becoming slurred as Guren’s eyes started to change and he shifted on his feet. Swaying slightly as he added in, “I did everything he wanted… I had to follow the rules… And I broke them. I broke our deal which means he can hurt you again.” Guren’s breathing was starting to become heavier and more labored with each word he said. Guren looked like he was starting to panic. Being more open to him about what he was feeling. Sakae had to take in every single word that Guren was saying to him right now. “I can’t let it happen. I need to talk to him. I can… I can change his mind.” Why did Guren actually sound… sincere? Hopeful, even?
“Guren,” Sakae said quickly to bring Guren’s gaze back up to him, “No. That is not a good idea. That is exactly what he wants from you. He has done everything to scare you into compliance. You don’t need to do that anymore.”
Guren let out a shaky breath as he curled his arms around himself, “Yes, I do.” Guren’s eyes looked like they were starting to drop as he swayed on his feet, “I need… I need to put a stop to this before…” Guren sounded like he was on the very of hyperventilating again. Sakae was shocked by the outburst and many of the words had Sakae frozen. Guren just shook his head and blinked away what looked like tears in his eyes, “I’m okay.” No, he wasn’t. Not at all. Guren looked back at him and smiled a bit as if he was trying to convince Sakae. “I… I can take it.” Guren looked away from him as he whispered, “It’s what I’m supposed to do.”
Sakae sighed softly as he walked over to his son and muttered, “Why don’t you go lay back down, okay? And we can talk about all of this later.”
Guren nodded a bit as he quickly turned and practically fled up the stairs. Sakae had turned his attention towards him as watched the Omega disappear up the stairs. His gut was twisting with each word that he heard Guren say. There was a lot of concerning things that he had said as well. What did Guren mean by a lot of that? It was clear as day, but it felt like it was just being pressed on top of him like a boulder pressing into his chest.
All that Sakae knew for sure was if Guren went back to Tenri – even if it was “Guren’s” decision – Guren would wind up dead.
And Sakae could never let that happen.