Archive of Our Own ^beta

Robin moved to attack the other people within the Cathedral. They were quickly chased off into a portal and when he whirled around, his heart lurched into his throat as he watched Nightwing fight against the Joker.

Well, it was more of a one-sided smack down, but it was still pretty bad.

Nightwing was going to kill him!

Robin moved to intercept him, opening his lips to call out, when something soft brushed against his mouth.

Robin froze. He paused, feeling as though a hand was covering his mouth and arms were hugging him.

No, not hugging him.

They were holding him back.

Robin took this moment to watch Nightwing’s back as he swung his fist at the Joker’s face over and over again.

Then he turned to the metahuman that was still putting up the shield.

He tilted his head and a million possibilities flew through his mind as he figured out what to do.

The feeling of being hugged (held down, restrained, kept back) was still there, but the feeling was gentle, like a plea.

Robin had always been loyal.

(And all Robins loved the stars and the sky.)

And so Robin didn’t move.

Robin stayed behind and watched as Nightwing beat the Joker to a pulp. He was beaten so badly that his face was unrecognizable and he was twitching and silent, blood gushing from wounds as Nightwing screamed and raged.

Robin did not watch, only keeping an eye on the metahuman with the shield.

He looked over as Nightwing’s eyes flickered red and he knew it was the influence of a star on him that made him continue to pound the Joker’s face like a meat tenderizer to a steak, rather than stop and catch his breath.

Robin looked up and out the window, where Gotham’s cloudy skies circled the city.

Did the stars wish for this?

He wondered if the stars were going to make him turn to the dark side, and then he thought of the stars and their glowing kindness, and came to the conclusion that this was obviously a one time thing.

The stars were not evil. They did not deliberately wish for pain and suffering for others. They were neutral forces who loved and cared for their Robins and the Earth and it was a disservice to think they would stoop so low as to hurt their Robins to accomplish whatever goal they could’ve had.

They clearly hated the Joker just as much as the Robins did for what he did to Jason.

They could barely do anything by themselves.

It was only normal that they used Nightwing’s hand to deal out Justice.

After mentally justifying the stars’ actions, Robin clenched his fists and closed his eyes, turning away from the scene where Nightwing was beating the Joker to death, for their sake and for Jason’s sake. The sound of a hard fist meeting skin continued to echo in his ears until it stopped.

When Nightwing’s screams turned into whimpers and pitiful sobbing, and the sound of fighting halted, Robin opened his eyes and approached him.

“Nightwing.”

He touched his arm and watched as a dazed realization crossed over Nightwing’s tear streaked face.

Guiltily, Robin reached over and hugged him, trying to warm them both up with their shared body heat. He despised how he cowardly stayed behind until Nightwing finished the deed and started crying, but this was the best decision he could make.

The Joker needed to die.

“… Tim? You’re alive?”

Robin nodded once and then looked back down at the cooling corpse of the Joker.

“We have to hurry. I bet Batman is already looking for you! We have to hurry and hide the body.”

Nightwing seemed to move on autopilot as Robin guided him through hiding the Joker’s dead body. It was almost disturbing how efficiently they worked together to hide it, but by the end, Robin didn’t care anymore.

He was more worried about Nightwing, who looked dazed and distracted.

They poured a dissolving agent over the bloodstains and Robin mopped up the bubbling mess with his destroyed cape before throwing it away. Nightwing was so out of it, that Robin handled the rest, efficiently putting away the evidence like nothing had ever happened. When he came back, Nightwing was sitting in the pews.

The metahuman with the shielding ability was tied up and unconscious on the floor.

Batman and their associates were probably going to storm inside soon.

Noticing Nightwing’s blank stare at him, Robin gave him a small smile.

“I’m really alive, I promise.”

Robin approached Nightwing and then crawled into his arms and sat there, squirming and trying to find a comfortable position.

It took a moment for Nightwing’s brain to reboot but he looked down curiously as Robin tried to hug him.

“… what’s up, Timmy?” He asked.

“Code names,” he said sternly.

Nightwing just stared at him emptily. Robin gave him a small, careful smile. He suddenly felt inexplicably nervous and wanted to explain himself.

“You’re freaking out. Physical touch can bring a person out of dissociation,” then he paused and added hurriedly, “and if you’re hugging me, we can convince B that you found me without the Joker and I was able to calm you down. We’ll say that you chased off the Joker and I held you back, so if we hug, it looks more convincing and—“

Nightwing huffed a laugh and then wrapped an arm securely around Robin.

“Thanks, Tim,” Nightwing murmured, burying his nose in his hair.

Robin was silent, but eventually, he whispered back, “No problem.”

Nightwing held him closely.

Then he said, “I actually killed him.”

“And I hid the body,” Robin replied immediately. “We share the blame, so don’t beat yourself up.”

However, Nightwing’s breaths came out fast again and he was sounding hysterical.

“H-He won. The Joker won! I killed him and I let him win and—“

“Nightwing!”

He startled and looked at Robin as his breath hitched in sobs. Guilt immediately grabbed at Robin’s chest and constricted his lungs.

“I’m sorry,” Robin said. “I should’ve stopped you and did it myself. At least then— maybe I can make Jason proud.”

“Tim, no! It’s my fault— I should’ve been on Earth so I could’ve been there while Ja— I should’ve been there! And now that I’ve killed the Joker… this is my fault. I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have been here at all. I thought you were dead and…”

Robin felt touched and even more ashamed of himself.

Nightwing was tearing himself apart over this, while Robin had stood back to watch him kill someone. He had killed the Joker not only for the people in their lives, but also for Tim. It had been Robin who had made Nightwing take a life.

For a moment, Robin acknowledged the apathy within him about the stolen life of a man and when his mark burned with a silent warning from his star at his self-deprecating thoughts, he inhaled a breath of air and exhaled.

Robin had not taken on the mantle because he was kind like Jason. He did not take on the mantle because he was brave like Dick.

He had taken the mantle because it had been what Batman needed and it had been rejected by Dick.

(Although he himself felt selfish for being Robin, he also felt like if he ever voiced this, his star would probably make him trip over a rock.)

“Nightwing, it’s okay. You did us all a service by taking care of the blight in our lives. By getting rid of the Joker, you helped me, and Jason, and Barbara, and everyone else in Gotham too.”

“B-But I lost… I lost by killing him! The Joker won!” Nightwing whimpered.

“We didn’t lose, Nightwing,” Robin sighed.

How was he supposed to comfort a distraught hero again?

“But we did! I killed him! That means that I lost—“

Robin groaned and turned within his hug to hold his face. Nightwing shut up as Robin aggressively squished his face, looking into his eyes.

“Don’t you get it? We may have lost the battle, but we won the war. The Joker may have won this one time, but what about who else is winning? The citizens of Gotham are winning. The world is winning. Barbara is winning.”

Robin’s voice softened as he moved his hands down to squeeze Nightwing’s shoulder, trying to convey sincerity and seriousness to him. “Jason is winning. And so is his star.”

Nightwing swallowed and looked down at his hands, once bloodied but now cleaned up.

Robin stared at him. “I think that’s why the stars helped us.”

Nightwing looked up. “What?”

“The cluster was helping us. They wanted the Joker to die. That’s why they didn’t stop you, only me. Because the Joker killed one of their siblings too.” He paused and tilted his head. “Couldn’t you tell?”

Nightwing paused. “Are you saying that my star made me kill the Joker?”

Robin looked at him with pity. “They didn’t make you do anything. They just released some of your inhibitions. And maybe your star was the one who made you angrier than normal, but they didn’t make you do anything.”

Like all gods, a being above mortals could not truly be blamed for a human’s actions.

Their existence may have had some influence on humans, but they could not be blamed.

Nightwing clenched his eyes shut and then held his left hand (the one with his star’s mark, Robin realized) to his chest, curling up. He started crying again and Robin bit his lip, guiltily hugging him again.

“I’m sorry. But I don’t blame you. No one is going to blame you, okay? You’re okay, Nightwing. I promise. You’re still a hero. You’re my hero.”

Nightwing sniffed and then whispered, “What about Batman?”

“I’ll take care of it. Just trust me.”

Nightwing nodded, eyes closed as tears fell from his face again and Robin held him close once more. He idly thought about how nice it was to hug someone and for one brief, delusional moment, he wondered if Jason had a comforting touch as well.

Oh well. He probably wouldn’t ever get to feel it.

(Somewhere in the universe, the Cluster started laughing.)

The door opened and Batman, Huntress, and Spoiler strode through, looking panicked. However they calmed down once they saw the two sitting in the pews. Spoiler immediately took hold of the still unconscious and tied up metahuman and took him outside. The other two approached them.

Batman looked around, inspecting everything. His eyes trained on the floor for a second longer than necessary, but Robin knew it was futile. He had cleaned everything expertly.

Batman’s gaze snapped to Nightwing, who was still wrapped around Robin like a tearful octopus, but he addressed Robin in the next sentence.

“Where’s the Joker?” Batman asked and Robin met his white eyes steadily. It almost sent a shiver down his spine, but the warmth of his mark comforted him.

Spoiler came back and through the mask, he could sense her worried and concerned gaze on him.

It gave him an extra boost as he responded calmly.

“I got here on my own after I escaped Killer Croc. When I got here, Nightwing was beating up the Joker but I was able to stop him. After that, he had… a bit of a panic attack and while I calmed him down, the Joker was able to escape.” Robin looked down, fidgeting with his gloves. “I’m sorry. I let him get away.”

His insides writhed and burned from lying to Batman, but Robin needed to save Gotham, and Nightwing was essential to that. If the Batman arrested Nightwing or drove him away, there would be no telling what could happen to the city without Nightwing’s soaring presence.

“… is the Joker dead?”

“I believe not,” Robin said. “The Joker is like a cockroach. He’ll survive anything we can throw at him. He was able to get away, and there was Warp here too, so there’s a high chance that was how he was able to escape.”

Nightwing whimpered and clutched at him.

Robin met Spoiler’s and Huntress’ sympathetic gazes and explained softly, “He’s really freaked out. He… he thought I died, right?”

Spoiler nodded but tried to cheer everyone up. “But it’s okay! At least you’re alright!”

The Batman remained silent.

Robin looked at him with big, wide eyes. “Batman…? I’m sorry that I let the Joker go. I just— I guess I forgot about Warp because I was worrying too much about Nightwing.”

There was another moment of silence.

Huntress elbowed Batman, who flinched before immediately bending down to Robin’s level.

“… it’s okay. Are you alright, Robin?”

Robin looked into Batman’s eyes and then looked down at his hands, clean from any traces of blood. Nightwing clutched him tighter.

He nodded.

Batman looked down at his waist then. He paused stiffly. “Where’s your utility belt?”

Robin replied naturally, “I lost it when I was fighting against Killer Croc. That’s why my uniform is all torn up too.”

Huntress and Spoiler both glared at Batman, who finally moved from his statuesque position. Inwardly, Tim breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that he and Nightwing got away.

Batman patted his shoulder awkwardly and then said, “Let’s go home.”

Robin looked up, a little surprised before he quickly nodded.

He pulled Nightwing along and the two of them followed the others. Spoiler immediately strode over to his side, looking him over herself.

“How are you, Boy Wonder?” She asked.

Robin smiled wanely.

Honestly, he felt better than expected. His mind, however, was racing compared to his casual appearance.

He wondered what she would say if he knew that he had helped Nightwing kill a man. He wondered if she would react badly, maybe even slapping him across the face for letting a man die. He wondered if she would tell Batman and then he would be back to regular old Tim, but disgraced and rejected.

His mark burned on his side.

He rubbed at the mark with a hand as he smiled.

“… I’ll be okay,” he said.

After all, he had the stars on his side.