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Chapter Text

She didn’t know if she loved Him anymore.  She didn’t even know if He loved her anymore. Ruth guessed she and God had a duty to each other, so they were bound- though neither of them wanted the relationship.

                “Ruth!” Daniel, her betrothed, called across the house. Daniel always arrived early at their house, discussing “matters” with her father. She didn’t know what those “matters” were, and honestly, she didn’t care.   

                She muttered her prayers out of habit and rolled out of bed. The tumult of the last year had dulled her faith in Adonai. Would a good God really let her languish in a loveless betrothal, getting a taste of what her doom would be for the rest of her life?

                “I’m coming, my beloved.” She bit out. I don’t know what he could possibly want. She rolled over and put her dress and veil on. She walked to the kitchen, following the sound of his voice. “Yes?”  

                “Make your father and I some breakfast,” He growled, his wrinkly old lips spewing spittle toward her. “And could you please hide your hand better? I’ve heard too much talk about me marrying a freak. It doesn’t look good!”  He turned away.

                “We have a cook. And there’s no need to call me a freak.” She scrunched her nose. “You care too much about ‘how things look’, anyway.” She took a bag full of coins from the table and gave a denarius to the cook, who started on breakfast. As for Ruth, she took a fig and stuffed it in her mouth. She went to the market, her only happy place.

                The only part she didn’t like about the market was the parchment and papyrus shop. She stared at the ink wells and quills. She sighed and passed the shop. You dream of the impossible, Ruth.

                 “Ah, Simon bar Jonah!” She called out and forced a smile toward the fish-seller. Strange, she observed the ground around him, he has no barrel. Oh, so apparently I don’t get any fish today? Rude.

                “Shalom, kid.” Simon gave a small smile and the wave of his hand. Ruth squinted, seeing a trickle of blood from his nose. She bared her teeth.

                “Shalom. Staying out of trouble?”

                “Of course.”

                Hey, Andrew’s not here either! Did you lose your brother or something? Where one bar Jonah went, the other was not often far behind. “Where’s Andrew?”

                He shrugged. “Tending to Eden, ‘cause I have a few errands to run.” Immediately, Ruth caught the statement as a lie. Simon’s formidable wife certainly did not need tending, especially for the few hours it would take to run errands. “Hey, I wanted-“

                “Is something going on?”

                “Yes, that’s why I was about to say I needed to talk to you.” He retorted playfully, like he always did. Then, his expression turned grave. “Andrew and I… will no longer be selling fish to you and your abba.”

                Ruth put her hands on her hips and offered a nervous smile. “Why? Find a better buyer?”

                “No, we uh…” He paused for a long time.

                Her stomach dropped. “Does this have to do with why you have no barrel with you today?”

                “Yes. My brother and I are… seeking to do our business in another profession. Fishing is, well, not for us.”

                “You’re in debt, aren’t you?” She started to pull out her bag of denarii with her good hand. There had to be at least a year’s worth of fisherman’s wages in that bag, and she’d gladly give it all. “Here. If I can help, I will.”

                “No- I-“ He stuttered, backing away with a disgusted look on his face. “I’m not accepting charity, especially from a girl half my age.” I’m not half your age! You’re twenty-five! I’m sixteen, I’m not that young!

                Ruth’s black brows furrowed, both from his rejection and his comments. “My abba’s rich. He can afford to lose this much. Now take it!” She held it out to him. If I have to throw this bag of money at you, I will.

                “Look, I said no! I can get out of this myself.”  He added with a scowl, “You can’t solve everyone’s problems by throwing money at them.”

                She ignored the barb. “Obviously you can’t get out of this yourself. Now take this, please.”

                “No!” He practically shouted, then lowered his voice. “Look, I have a plan. Thank you for your offer,” He said through gritted teeth, “but I can take care of my own family.”

                A horrible memory rushed back to her- two Romans, slipping into the bar Simon frequented. Bad feelings bubbled in her gut. The brothers bar Jonah and Eden were her friends, even if they were all adults. “Does your plan include working with the Romans?” She whispered.

                “It includes getting what’s owed to me.”

                “Simon, of all the foolish plans-“ She grumbled and stopped herself. “You’re an adult. You’re supposed to have it all figured out and not do stupid things like working with the Romans. Seriously, there is no better way?!”

                “I’m supposed to have it all figured out, huh?” He gave a wry smile. “Well, I do have it all figured out. Don’t you worry about me. Now, I am sad to part on shaky terms, but part we must. Like I said,” He walked away, “I’m running errands.”

                “What would make you accept my help?!” She called after him.

                He chuckled scornfully. “The only one whose help I’d accept is Adonai’s, and I don’t think he’s going to come down and help me haul in a catch any time soon. Thanks for the offer, kid, but I don’t need your help. You find your own way, and I’ll find mine. Shalom shalom.”

                “Shalom shalom to you!” She kicked up the dust under her feet and pouted.

                She used her walk home to sulk, something she was becoming excellent at doing. It didn’t get any better when she walked in the door and her abba greeted her with an abrupt, “I thought we talked about this. What do you think it says about this household when a young, unmarried woman goes out alone? They’ll think we are not respectable!”

                “Abba…” She pleaded, feeling an overwhelming urge to flop down on her bed.

                “I have been thinking about this, and today’s behavior has solidified my decision.” He paced back and forth across the room, letting his words settle on the floor. “I’m moving the date of your and Daniel’s wedding… to two weeks from today.”

                “What?!”  Her heart sunk into her stomach. She had tried denying the existence of this day for a full year, but now it was unavoidable. In fourteen days, her life would be over.

                “I need you to be the cornerstone of this family. The pretty young girl who makes everyone forget about her…” He gestured to her hand, which she hid in the folds of her purple dress with embarrassment. He began to pace. “They call us a “family of sinners” , did you know that? They think that this… ailment came upon you because of a grievous sin either you or I committed.”

                “We’ve been over this; I didn’t do anything.” She crossed the room to where her favorite chair sat in the corner.

                “You must have done something. Do not question the judgement of Adonai.”

                She muttered, “I don’t think Adonai has the best judgement.”  

                “What was that?!” Her father’s face grew red. “I cannot have a blasphemous child in my household…” He whispered to himself, about Ruth. She hated that she wasn’t privy to a conversation about her own future. “This is why you must marry Daniel, and quickly.”

                “Why?!” She finally asked the question that had been on her mind for almost a year. “Why must I marry Daniel? He’s old, wrinkly, and mean. We really don’t need that little extra social step that he’d give us.”  

                “Yes, we do!” He shouted. She frowned, her fingernails digging into her skin. “We need all the approval we can get, and Daniel bar Yosef is our gateway to it. I thought you of all people would understand.”

                “I understand perfectly. Good society is more important than your own daughter!” She ran out of the house and slammed the door. Tears started running down her face. This had been a horrible day, and she had had enough. In fact, this had been a horrible year! First her hand, then her marriage. Her temper narrowed into a plan: a horrible, wonderful plan. She couldn’t marry anyone- especially not that unbearable man Daniel- if she had no dowry. She even knew where it was kept.

She snuck around the back side of the house and opened the curtain leading to her father’s bedroom. Inside it lay a locked wooden chest. Trying to make as little sound as possible, she opened the bottom dresser drawer where the key was kept. Traitor, traitor. A little voice whispered in her head as she ran out of the house, the money jingling in her pocket.

                She ran until she got to the market. “Well, I don’t know what to do with all this money.” What seemed like an endless amount of silver gleamed up at her, the reflection shining into her green eyes. She noticed the sun’s position in the sky- it was time for noon meal. She grinned. It was time for noon meal, and some new head coverings. Maybe even a garment or two- she liked the dressmaker, and the dressmaker needed more money. And possibly even an orange. She had never tasted an orange before.

                “Of course, it’s not all for myself.” She shooed her conscience away with a simple explanation. “I don’t need the money; I’m never going to get married. Abba knows that. So, I’m helping local businesses.”

                Over the next few hours, she went on a shopping spree. First, she stopped for lunch and had bread stuffed with goat cheese and a few sips of a wine skin. She bought three new head coverings, and a giant leather bag to keep them in. She bought walnuts, grapes, and even an orange.  Throughout all her endeavors, she tipped heavily and snuck coins into people’s purses.

                By the time she was done, only three-quarters of her money was left. She laughed- this was her future, and a large chunk of it was already gone. “I wish I could give this to Simon and Andrew,” She sighed, “but Simon would never accept it, and he’d never trust me again if I went behind his back. Maybe if he’s fishing with Andrew, I can convince them both.” She walked toward the beach. Not seeing the pair, she picked up a rock and threw it into the water. “That’s for you, Daniel!” She threw the next one with more force. “That’s for you, Abba!”  She threw both of her sandals into the water, the adornments on them glittering as they sank. Rocks ricocheted into the water until her left arm felt too sore to lift.

                “Oh, Adonai,” She cursed as she realized the time. The tunnel vision of her temper had done her wrong once again. It was about ten minutes until sunset, and the night was beginning to wrap her in its cold tendrils. She realized as her temper fled that she had just alienated herself from her abba. He would never accept her into his home again after what she did today. Fine, I’ll just find an inn for myself. For some reason, a force that felt like an arm on her shoulder tugged her and asked her to stay on the beach.

                “Uhm, okay.” She sat back down on the beach, sand getting in her dress. “Well, I guess I’ll stay and see if anything interesting happens.” Nothing happened for a long while, and she felt inclined to boredom. “I wish I had my sketchpad; the waves look so lovely.” She thought out loud, then took the words back.  “Ruth bat Barnabas, you know that cannot be.”

                Shortly after the sun set, she heard movement near her. She picked up a rock and got up quickly, ready to defend herself. She crept toward the sound, unable to see anything in the darkness. A particularly sharp rock scraped her foot, and she hissed in pain. Maybe I should’ve kept those sandals.

                “Who’s there?” A voice that sounded familiar called out warily. Hearing no response, the voice went silent.

                No way, Ruth felt her stomach drop. So, this is his ‘new business venture’? Simon, you will surely be the death of me. She dropped to her knees and crawled in the sand, being careful of rocks. She squinted, trying to make out what was happening. Sure enough, Simon prepared his boat for takeoff and pushed it into the Sea of Galilee.

                “Why are you out here?’ She whispered, mostly to herself. She realized the time of year- insignificant to her, but to Simon, life shattering. “Tax day, of course.” The boat thrashed about in the water, and she felt bad for the man. If only he had accepted her help, then he would be at home with Eden, not desperately pushing his boat into the water in the dark!

                She closed her eyes and prayed with her whole heart that he would catch some fish- or even just one! One fish, to last him one more day. She closed her eyes, because she couldn’t watch. His grumbles of frustration went across the sea to her. She heard another familiar voice- seriously, Andrew? He and his brother argued about the side on which they should cast the net.

                Another boat crashed into the water- she recognized the make from a couple times seeing it. It was Zebedee’s boat. Two other young men were on it, probably Zebedee’s sons, James and John. They had been nice enough to her, but she had always ordered fish from Simon and Andrew, so she didn’t know them very well. They went out into the middle of the sea and started casting their line as well.

                She watched them for an hour, hoping beyond hope that someone would catch something. Two boats, five men. There must be some fish in the sea that want to die today.  Another hour went by. She yawned, unable to keep her eyes open, and fell asleep on the hard sand.  In her dreams, she was in the Sea of Galilee, trying to catch a fish with her hands. She caught none.

                She woke to the sound of preaching. She rolled her eyes- some Rabbi had to choose this beach to preach on? Come on, let me have some peace and quiet.  She raised her head and looked at who was disturbing her sleep.

                To her surprise, He stopped preaching and looked right back at her.  She couldn’t stop looking at His eyes- they seemed brown now, but she had a strange feeling that at some point they had been a bright, burning gold. He waved at her and started walking toward her, a grin on His face.

                Oh no. She swallowed hard and tried to get up as gracefully as she could. Her efforts failed and she tripped on a rock. These stupid rocks. The Rabbi simply smiled at her. She got up, brushing the sand off her once-colorful dress. She stuck her right hand in her pocket.

                “Careful, these rocks are sharp.” He smiled at her. She squinted at Him.

                “I know.” In a very unladylike fashion, she lifted up her foot to show Him the scrape she had gotten for her eavesdropping efforts. “Look at this.”

                He tilted His head. “I don’t see anything.”

                She leaned against the rock and turned her foot so she could see it. The scrape had healed completely. “Strange. Well, my abba always told me I heal quickly.”

                “Want Me to show you something?” He gestured toward the group. No. Her head responded… but she wanted a new adventure. Fine. She stomped past Him to where the others were gathered.

                She asked a woman- strange, that a Rabbi would allow a woman to listen to Him- who was there, “Who is this guy?”

                “Jesus of Nazareth,” She answered excitedly. “He is the Messiah.” The woman seemed nice, although probably wrong.

                Ruth scoffed. “Sure.”

                The woman simply smiled. “You may end up changing your mind. In the meantime, I am Mary of Magdala. This is James, and Thaddeus.”

                “Hi there.” She waved. Many people surrounded this Jesus, but these three seemed the closest to Him. She got the feeling that the others were just listeners, while this group were followers. “I’m Ruth, of Capernaum. So… what’s it like, following a Rabbi?”  

                Mary smiled, like the question was the best she had ever been asked. “It’s the greatest experience I’ve ever had in my life. He saved me, and I will never stop telling that story.”

                “Okay.” Ruth stared at the woman. She seemed so well-tempered and beautiful that she’d be surprised if Mary didn’t have a husband. “Does your husband follow Jesus as well?” Immediately after she uttered the question, she knew she made a mistake.

                “I have no husband,” Mary blushed, “and I am not sure if my story will ever include one.”

                “Forgive me,” Ruth stumbled over her words. “I am not the best at first impressions.”  Curse it, Ruth! You just offended the kindest-looking woman here!

                Jesus walked up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. She turned rapidly, startled and angry. Nobody snuck up on her. She sighed dramatically and said, “Look, this has all been great fun, but if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere to be. My abba requires my presence.” She flipped her wavy hair in that snobby rich-girl way, overexaggerating in the hopes He’d allow her to leave.

                Jesus smiled, unaffected. “I thought you were unable to return home.” She scrunched her nose at Him. How did He know that?  “Be patient. I told you I would show you something, didn’t I?”

                “Fine. This better be good.” She crossed her arms and sat cross-legged in the sand. Mary sat down next to her.

                “Excuse me!” Jesus called to Simon and Andrew as they hauled their boats to shore. “My students cannot hear me. Could I stand on one of your boats?” Simon crossed his arms and looked at Andrew, while Andrew seemed like he’d forfeit all the boats in the world for Jesus to look at him again. 

                Ruth muttered, “I could hear him just fine.”

                Mary chuckled. “Me, too. But I think He’s about to do something.”

                “What’s He gonna do? Shout at us more?”

                “Just watch.”

                “Now, I will tell you one more thing, and then I will leave you.” Jesus shouted from the boat. The crowd went silent, anxiously waiting for His words. “Simon, what happens when you take these boats out into the water?”

                The fisherman turned slightly red with annoyance. “Well-“

                “Usually.”

                “We catch fish.”

                “Yes! And then you sort the good fish into barrels and throw the bad away, yes?”

                “Uhm, yeah.”

                “It will be the same way at the end of the age…” Jesus turned toward his students and gave the most confusing speech Ruth had ever heard. The end of the age would be like… fish sorting? It didn’t make any sense. “That’s all I have for you today. Thank you!” Most people left. Ruth stayed, wondering what would happen next.

                “Simon, could you do me a favor?” Jesus smiled at Simon. “Put that down for a catch. A little farther out.” Andrew immediately jumped into action, while his brother stared blankly.

                “I don’t have a quarrel with You, Teacher,” He sighed, radiating exhaustion. “but we’ve been doing this all night. Nothing.” Jesus simply stared at him, waiting. “Alright. At Your word,” Ruth squinted at the scene. This was not the rebellious, take-no-orders-from-anyone Simon she knew. And who did this Rabbi think He was, anyway?

                He and Andrew cast their net. Nothing happened for a couple seconds. Wow, I’m shocked. Suddenly, the boat lurched. It dipped dangerously, so that Simon and Andrew were thrown onto one side and had to steady themselves against the railing. Simon cried, “I need help!” The family of Zebedee ran to his aid. The net sagged, fish pulling against it. They hauled the contents of the net onto the boat.

                Fish- hundreds of them! Ruth grinned as she heard the joyful shouts of the men.

                Ruth got up and moved out of the way, trying not to get trampled. For one of the first times in her life, she was at a loss for words.  She turned to Jesus, who looked proudly at the sight. “You did this?”

                “It is the work of my Father in Heaven.”

                “So, You didn’t do it? Also, who’s Your Father? Is He dead?”

                “My Father is Adonai. I and the Father work in harmony, and He has sent Me to this earth to do His work.”

                She squinted. “So, You did do it.” He just chuckled at her. “I am so confused.”

                “It’s okay to be confused. What I will do while I am here will confuse many people. But it will also lead many people to the truth.” He nodded toward Simon, who was dragging the boat to the shore with Andrew, Zebedee, James and John. “Like these men. I will lead them to the truth, so they can lead others to the truth.”

                His words flew over her head. “You are unlike any Rabbi I have ever met. You’re more confusing than any of them.”

                He grinned. “Yes, I suppose that is the point.”

                Simon jumped off the boat and knelt before Jesus. He said, barely able to get the words out, “My brother… and what the Baptizer said… You are the Lamb of God, yes?”

                Ruth scanned her minimal knowledge of Scripture. Who in the world is the Lamb of God? Jesus answered, “I am.” Oh, so apparently He is.

                “Depart from me,” Simon begged, “I am a sinful man! You don’t know who I am… the things I’ve done…” For the first time, Ruth saw him cry. This Jesus must’ve been really special, if He made Simon bar Jonah cry.

                “Don’t be afraid,”

                “I’m sorry!” Dude, he said don’t be afraid. “We’ve waited for You for so long, but my faith was… I’m so sorry!” He kept apologizing over and over, making Ruth wonder what in the world Simon could’ve done to make him apologize to this random Man who apparently was the Lamb of God, whoever that was.

                “Lift up your head, fisherman.”

                “What do You want from me?” He sobbed. “Anything you ask I will do!” Ruth looked at the people behind her. For some reason, Thaddeus, James, and Mary did not share her confusion. They completely understood Simon’s devotion to this Man he had just met. Yes, Jesus had just given Simon a whole load of fish, but that was worth a couple gift baskets, not wholehearted devotion. The whole scene confused her enormously.

                Jesus knelt to the ground and said simply, “Follow Me.” Follow Him where?

                “I will,” Simon agreed immediately.

                Andrew jumped out of the boat, and whispered in awe, “Rabbi.” You too? I thought you were the reasonable bar Jonah.

                He nodded at the brothers, then called, “You as well! Yes, James and John!” James and John stared at each other. “Come, follow Me!” After confirming with their father, they walked toward Jesus.

                She looked with amazement at the whole scene. These fishermen just abandoned their livelihood, all to follow some Rabbi. Jesus, walking off the beach with the group of men and the group of three from before, stopped by Ruth. He smiled at her confused face.

                “So, what did you think?” He asked, then with a joking smile, “Was it worth sleeping on the beach?”

                Everything within her fought against itself. She couldn’t comprehend what she just saw. Yes, that catch of fish was amazing- but who was this guy? Who was the Lamb of God? And why did she feel so drawn to Him, when she wasn’t even sure she liked God to begin with? She blurted out, “You know what I think? I think You’re crazy, and a stranger, that I’m better off on my own, and no, I don’t want to go with You!”

                He held back a smile, and some part of her figured that He already knew she’d say that. “I never said anything about you coming with Me, you know.”

                She spluttered. “Well- You’re-“ Her face grew red. She didn’t like the way He twisted her words. She had just wanted to make sure He didn’t get any ideas about asking her to follow Him, like He had with the fishermen! Yeah, that was it. Besides, it was eerie to be around a Man who looked like He knew what she was thinking. She stomped off the beach, determined to find an inn.

Chapter Text

She woke up from her creaky bed in the inn and checked her bag. The level had diminished considerably since a week ago. Today, she needed to find one of the bar Jonah brothers and give her money to them, so they could give it to their Rabbi. Over the past week, she hadn’t been able to keep Him and His words and His incomprehensible parable out of her mind. It was infuriating. So, she concluded, the only way to get Him out of her head was to give Him money. That would absolve her of any guilt or interest she had in Him and His followers.

Her best bet was probably Andrew, since Simon and she still weren’t on good terms. She got up and walked out into the streets of Capernaum. She received dirty looks from the unfamiliar people around her- this street was nowhere near the market, or her home. The people here only saw one part of her- her hand.

                “Excuse me!” She asked one man. “Do you know where the followers of Jesus are?”  He walked away without a word. She asked a woman, who looked at Ruth’s hand with disgust and walked away. Ruth sat down in the streets with frustration.

                “Alms?” One man on sitting on the street asked, holding out his hands.

                “Do you know where the followers of Jesus of Nazareth are?” She asked, toying with a coin with her fingertips.

                “I have never heard that name,” He shook his head.

                She paused, then came up with an idea. “Do you know where the fish seller Zebedee stays?” She had never been to James and John’s house, but it was worth a shot. They had left their nets and followed Him, so she thought they’d be up for giving Him money.  

                “Yes, yes!” the man said eagerly, looking at the coin. “Just turn right at the synagogue, and…”

                “Thank you. Shalom shalom,” She handed him five coins as she began to stand, and he looked at them in awe. He dropped some when she handed them, and she saw the texture of his hands- withered and deformed. “…What happened?” She motioned to his hands.

                “I, uhm-“ He looked away from her, embarrassed. “I was a blacksmith. When I placed my work in the kiln, the sparks flew, and… now I am out of a job.”

                She smiled a little, finding somewhat of a kindred spirit. She took her right hand out of the folds of her dress. It had gotten worse since she last looked at it- stiff from unuse and bent slightly in on itself. “Look.”

                “Ah,” He examined the hand. “What happened to you?”

                The question struck her for a strange reason. “I… I don’t know.” She sighed, and she thought of more than just her hand. “Something bad, probably.”  She thought she saw shadows out of the corner of her eye- must’ve been paranoia.

                “Well, I’m glad we are similar.” He smiled a little, and it seemed sad. “So, I am sorry for this.” He motioned to her bag of coins.

                “Sorry? For what?” She tilted her head, her guard down. Someone grabbed her from behind. She dropped her bag and wriggled in the person’s grasp. Someone else dove to the ground and caught her coins. The man with the withered hands stood up and ran into an alley. The two people followed him and disappeared along with her money.

                “No,” She muttered, still not believing what just happened to her. She felt around on the ground for her bag and found nothing but dust. Succumbing to tears, she laid there and sobbed. “That was everything I had.”

                She doubted her father would ever accept her back, with her dowry gone and it being her fault. With no home, and no money, and no way of getting either of those things, Ruth was stuck. She laid there for a long time, nothing but choking sobs leaving her lips. Finally, she muttered, “Adonai, if You’re up there, help me.”  It was her last resort.

                She waited for about ten minutes, then sat up with a huff. “Well, that settles it. I’m going to market.”

                “Have patience,” Jesus’s words came back to her. She ignored them and replied, “There’s no use having patience if it’s faster to do it myself.”

                She walked over to the marketplace, where she begged practically every shop owner for a job. And every single shop owner refused. After the longest day of her life, she muttered to herself, “I wish I had just gone with Jesus. At least then I would be with people I know.” She walked back to her inn.

                “Your lease is up,” the innkeeper told her plainly. “You must leave tonight or pay for an extra day.”

                “Please,” She blinked away tears. “I have had the most horrible day.”

                “And I do not feed my family with pity.” He frowned at her. “I am sorry. I hope you find your way, but your lease is up.” She trudged up to her room and grabbed her leather bag, her veils, and what was left of the walnuts. These things would all have to be sold, now. After the money from those things ran out- she didn’t know what she’d do next.

                Dim torchlight was the only thing lighting the streets as she silently left the inn. She had nowhere to sleep. I could always sleep on the beach again, she laughed wryly to herself. She positioned herself toward the beach and forced herself to walk. The afternoon shift of Roman guards was beginning to emerge, and she tried her best to ignore them.

                “What a pretty little thing!” One whistled at her. She scurried past, only to endure more whistles from those standing the block over.

                “Messiah, come quickly.” She muttered, wishing the world would swallow her whole. Finally, she made it to the beach. An uncomfortable-looking overhang sheltered her from some of the rocks and the waves. Placing the leather bag down, she said her prayers half-heartedly and tried to take a nap.

                However much she tried, she couldn’t let her eyes close. The weight of the past week crashed onto her back like the waves in front of her. Sobbing, she recounted all of her mistakes. “I’ve forced myself into a hole,” She drew her legs to her chest. “I’ve even robbed myself of an Abba. At least if I was married, I’d be safe and comfortable. At least I’d have money.” Contemplating her thievery, she finally began to feel bad. “Oh, Adonai, what have I done?”

                “What happened to you?” She remembered the words of the man with the injured hands- the man who had betrayed her. Were they really so different? He stole from her to survive another day; she stole to get out of a life she didn’t want. “What happened to you?” She asked again. “I used to be Ruth bat Barnabas- respected, happy. Now, I am simply…” She didn’t know a word to describe herself. “Me. Me. What a horrible name. Whoever ‘me’ is, she is despicable.” She scoffed, following the somewhat satisfying spiral of self-loathing. “I have made so many mistakes just over the past week! How does one even make that many mistakes? First the stupid dowry, then I spent it all on nothings, then I didn’t follow Jesus when He’s obviously blessed by God, and He may even be the Messiah! Greaaaaaaat going, Ruth! Finally, I let my guard down and let this random man steal all of my money!”

                “Wow,” She sighed, laying her head back down on her bag in despair. “I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the sin for which my hand was punished. Maybe I’ve been this horrible of a person my whole life, and God chose to take the one pleasurable thing I had to make me realize how much of a horrible person I am.” She poked her head out of the outcropping and looked up at the sky, which was now full of puffy white clouds. “Is that why I haven’t heard from You? Because You hate me?” She started sobbing in earnest, now. “That’s the only conclusion I can come to.”

                “A rather severe conclusion,” She heard a kind voice above her, standing on the outcropping. Her stomach twisted in knots.

                “You,” She greeted with a mix of disgust and relief. “The fish guy.”  

                He grinned and jumped onto the beach, lowering His head so He could see into her little cave. “I’ve been called many things before, but never ‘the fish guy’.” He looked at her in earnest. “Do you truly believe God hates you?”

                “Well, yeah.” She stuttered, suddenly embarrassed by her flurry of emotions. She wiped her tears and sat facing forward. “My life is miserable. If God’s got control of everything, then He’s choosing to make my life miserable. Therefore, He hates me.”

                Jesus seemed hurt by her statement, as if He was the one being spoken of, instead of God. Ruth squinted and took note of this. “Why’s that?”

                “Look at me!” She angrily gestured to herself. “No home, no money, and no right hand! Yes, most of which are by my own doing, but still!”

                He sat down under the outcropping with her. “Why do you think God hates you because of these things?”

She rolled her hazel-green eyes. “Obviously, God is punishing me for everything I’ve ever done in my life, and He’s got the full right to. But, as much as they like to say, there’s no such thing as an impartial judge. The judge is always swayed one way or the other- and I think God’s swayed toward hate.”

                “What if I told you God isn’t punishing you?”

                “Then I’d think You’re crazy, which I already kind of do.”

                “What if I told you that God loves you?” Tears shone in His eyes, which Ruth found weird. “More than you could ever comprehend. And…” He paused, and let His words find their place in her heart. “He forgives you. For everything you have done and will do.”

                “Forgive- what?” She squinted. “I was right- You are unlike any Rabbi I’ve ever met. Most of them talk about how we’re all eating bread wrong, or whatever, and that’s why the Messiah isn’t coming. And all the Torah I’ve ever heard my father read are rules.”

                “I don’t think you’ve read the whole of the Scriptures, have you?”

                “Nope,” she finally cracked a smile. “Apparently not enough. So, what do I do? To get God back?”

                “You don’t need to “get Him back”. He’s always been with you.”

                “I don’t get it.”

                “You don’t need to get it; He’s always been with you no matter what your feelings are.” He smiled at her. “Every half-muttered prayer, every trip to the market, every fight with Daniel or your Abba. When you sat in the sun and sketched, He sat beside you and smiled. When you laid in the street with no money, alone and afraid, He laid beside you and cried.” Jesus said it like He had done all those things with her, like He had raised her.

                The whole affair confused her to no end. “But He’s God,” She returned. “He didn’t have to do all that. Why would He want to do all that?!”

                “Because He loves you,” He answered simply, like that answer wasn’t the most complicated one she had ever received.

                This realization struck Ruth as strange. Even in the worst parts of her life, God had been with her. Though she rarely felt His presence, He had never left her side. If He was always at her side, then she would do whatever it took to stay by His. “Well, I want to love Him back now. How do I love Him back?”

                “God merely desires repentance.” He smiled, and it was like a warm embrace.  

“Alright, then. That’s what I’ll do. Well, this is awkward.” She turned her face toward Heaven and tried to ignore Jesus staring at her. “Adonai, I’m sorry I suck. And I’m sorry I yelled at You and hated You for a little bit there. I think You’re pretty good- at least now I know that You don’t have it out for me. And that’s good. I’m glad that God doesn’t hate me. I only hated You because I thought You hated me, but apparently You’ve been with me the whole time, so I can’t really hate You if You’ve been crying with me the whole time or something.  That’s just mean. So, I guess we’re alright.” She turned to Jesus. “Was that good? Is He going to be, like, offended or something because I didn’t say the regular prayer?”

                He grinned. “That was good. And no, He won’t be offended. You don’t have to use the proper language to speak to my Father. He just wants you to talk to Him.”

                “Okay, now you’re venturing into complicated-Rabbi-theology territory.” She squinted. “God wants me to just… talk to Him? That’s it?”

                “Yes.”

                “And that’ll make my life good again?”

                He hesitated. “God does not promise a pain-free life, but a life worth living.”

                She considered this. “Well, a life worth living is a pretty close second to pain-free. I want to do something with my life. I thought that was drawing. It isn’t, though, is it?” She looked at Jesus, thinking for some reason He’d know. He shook His head. “Then what is it?”

                “Ruth, follow-“

                “Yes!” She put her fist to her mouth. “Agh! Sorry, I got a little over-excited there. You say it again, and I won’t interrupt, I promise.”

                He simply grinned. “Ruth, follow Me.”

                “Yes!”

                She crawled out from her outcropping and stood up. Sweet happy tears fell down her face, replacing the salty sad ones. She had a home, and she was free of guilt. And her right hand still fell useless- but what is a hand to the love of Adonai? Jesus stood up beside her and took her by the shoulders. For once, she didn’t want to deck Him.

                “One last thing,” She asked as they walked off the beach. “Are You really the Messiah?”

                “I am." 

                "I figured." She grinned. "I don't think a normal guy could do all that stuff you just did." 

Chapter Text

                It was midafternoon when she followed Jesus off the beach and was greeted by a hoard of extremely excited adults- standing awfully close to where her conversation with Jesus just happened.

                Mary came to her first and wrapped her in a tight hug. “I knew it. I knew you would come.”

                James- the one with the cane- came over and shook her left hand eagerly. “I was talking with Thaddeus, and we both agreed you would’ve liked the wedding in Cana.”

                Ruth blinked, stunned by their automatic welcome. It was like being greeted by relatives who knew her when she was small. “The what?”

                Simon interrupted them. “A story for another time.” He pat Ruth’s back, slamming her spine into her ribs. “I’m proud of you, kid. I knew you could do it.” 

                “Wha- how did you all know I’d be here?”

                Andrew grinned, “We saw you on the beach that day. When Jesus said we needed to make a stop here before we went to Zebedee’s house, we knew it had to be you!”

                “Uh, yeah, okay.” She nodded. “Did you all… hear any of that?” She gestured to the beach and the life-changing outcropping.

                “No,” They all lied.

                “Thank Adonai,” She muttered. No one needed to know that she was considering abandoning Judaism until about thirty minutes ago. That would be a story for another time, certainly not tonight.

                John interrupted, “Why did you not come with us when you saw the fish?” His brother shoved him.

                “Sorry,” James- not the one with the cane- apologized. Wait- there were two Jameses. How could she tell both of them apart?

                “Nah, it’s fine.” She shrugged. “Had my own stuff to work out. Got sad, then mad, then sad again, but I’m good now.”

                As conversation slowed and they walked toward Zebedee’s house, she fell in step with James- the one with the cane. “So, what do I call you?”

                “Little James is fine.” He smiled, his curly hair swishing back and forth in step with the clunk of his cane.  

                She measured her height against Little James’s in her mind. They were almost the same height- and Ruth held onto the fact that she was not that short. “Why do you get the ‘Little’ nickname? You were here first.”

                “It’s not like they can call me Big James.”

                “Well, if any Ruths come here after me, then I’ll take the name ‘Little Ruth’, in your honor.” She gave him a salute. Besides Jesus, and Mary, and Simon, and Andrew, she thought she liked Little James the best. He was nice, and his slower pace allowed her to catch up with him.

                “So, about this wedding in Cana.” She let her curiosity take hold. “Why would I have liked to have been there?”

                “Well, I don’t know you very well, so I don’t know if you like weddings-“

                “I like ‘em well enough. Except the ceremony part, that takes way too long. I like the dancing, though.”

                “-fair. But you would’ve liked this wedding. So, they ran out of wine, but we didn’t know that yet. Mother Mary-“

                “Mary is a mother? But I thought she didn’t have a husband.”

                “Different Mary. Jesus’s eema.”

                “Jesus has an eema? I thought Messiahs just appeared from the clouds on a white horse.”

                Simon heard their discussion and called back, “Just let him finish the story!”

                Ruth rolled her eyes and fell silent. Little James continued, “So Mother Mary called Jesus into the house, and apparently, they had run out of wine. The family was in a state.”

                John interrupted, “Because, as you know, if they run out of wine, their reputation will be severely damaged.”

                “If I already know it, why are you telling me?” Ruth asked in annoyance.

                He put up his hands in mock surrender. “Just reminding you! Anyway, so when Jesus was in there, he told the vintner- I forget her name. Simon, what’s her name?”

                “The vintner was a woman?”

                “Yeah, it was- uh- was it Ruth?”

                “No, that’s my name!”

                “Well, it started with an R!”

                “Ramah,” Simon rolled his eyes. “And I don’t want to grow old before finishing this story.” He motioned for Little James to continue.

                Little James nodded, “So Jesus told the vintner and the wedding coordinator, whose name was Thomas, to fill the empty jars with water.”

                Ruth raised her hand. “Fill the jars with water? Why? That won’t help, it’s just water!”

                Simon sighed. “I think he was about to tell you!”

                “Anyway,” Little James stifled a laugh, “So they filled the empty jars with water and served them to the guests. And then, the master of the banquet called everyone’s attention. He said, ‘I want to thank the bride and bridegroom’s families! At every wedding, they serve the expensive stuff first. Why not save the cheapest for the end- everyone will be drunk! But at this wedding, they saved the best for last!’ And everyone applauded.”

                “So, He did that?” She pointed at Jesus. Little James nodded with a grin. “Wow, fish and wine,” Ruth grinned with pride at her Messiah. Yes- her Messiah! This was not simply the elders’ or the Pharisees’ or even her abba’s Messiah. This was her and Mary’s and Simon’s and Andrew’s and Little James’s and everyone else’s Messiah. “We could take this show on the road.”

                Jesus chuckled. “That’s exactly what we’re going to do. After we rest for a bit, we will head to Samaria.”

                Now, Ruth was up for different. “Samaria?” she asked with some excitement.  But something her abba said once rang in her mind, ‘That race of Samaritans are traitors to our people! No self-respecting Jew would dare to venture there, for it’d be the death of his reputation.’ She grinned as they walked, I’m certainly looking forward to the ‘death of my reputation’.

                “Yes. It is only a few days’ travel. And some of my friends are meeting us there.”

                Simon asked, “You have friends in Samaria?”

                “Soon you will, too.” Jesus turned to look at everyone’s faces and laughed. “I’m certain it will be alright.”

                John squinted in slight disgust. “Samaria?”

                “Yes.”

                “But that is where the Samaritans live!”  

                Jesus nodded, carefully holding in a smile. “You are correct, that is why they’re called the Samaritans.”

                 “Wow,” John said, “You are certainly….” He trailed off, trying to find suitable words. His brother shoved him. “unlike any Rabbi I’ve ever met.”

                Ruth poked his green tunic, “That’s my line! I’ve said it twice, it’s a reoccurring theme at this point.”

                “How was I supposed to know that? I’ve only ever seen you twice.”

                “Thrice, actually. Once with Salome while I bought fish from your father. She said, and I quote, ‘You are such a beautiful young lady. I love my sons, but sometimes I wish I had borne a girl as well, to keep them in check.’”

                He sighed dramatically. “That sounds like eema.”

                “And then she proceeded to tell all of your embarrassing stories about your childhood!” She added with a huge grin.

                “What-“ He spluttered. “Like what?!”

                “Not telling.”

                Mary sighed as she caught up to Jesus. “It’s like trying to corral a litter of puppies.”  

                Jesus threw back His head and laughed. “While herding sheep.”  

                They paused at an intersection in the roads. Jesus noticed Simon’s restlessness and said, “Go, take Andrew. Meet us at Zebedee’s house.”

                Ruth asked, “Where are they going?”

                “Meeting with Eden and her mother.” He smiled at the brothers as they walked away. “They have family to take care of tonight. They won’t see them for a while.”

                Momentarily, Ruth dwelled on the family she would have to take care of if it weren’t for her mistakes. She brushed the thought off and called to Simon in a joking tone, “I’m going to tell Zebedee that you got eaten by a fish!”

                Simon called back in the same tone, “You wouldn’t dare!”

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                 “Salome! They’re here!” Zebedee called as he wrapped James and John in a hug.  “Ah, my sons!” Ruth found herself wishing that her father had the same reaction when she came home. Come on, Ruth. Don’t let the moment be ruined by your overwhelming abba issues.

                Salome rushed out and stopped completely still when she saw Jesus. “Hello,” She managed. The woman’s big brown eyes seemed to get ten times bigger. She stood there a long while, then finally said, “James. John.”

                “Yes, eema?” Big James said, stifling a laugh.

                “Listen to Him, please. Do what He says.”

                “We will.”

                Jesus smiled. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Salome. I’m Jesus of Nazareth.” Ruth grinned. I think she knows that.

                “Of course You are.” Salome’s smile couldn’t get any wider if she tried.

                “And hello again, Zebedee.” Jesus waved at Zebedee, who stood with a smile at the scene.

                Zebedee gave a small wave, “It’s an honor, Rabbi.”

                Salome still stood there looking at Jesus, blocking the door.

                “Eema,” John said, elongating the ‘e.’ “Eema?”

                She turned, seeming to finally notice everyone else. “Of course! Where are my manners?” She moved out the way of the door. “Please, come in.”

                Jesus said, “Are you certain? There will be others joining us.” Others? Ah, He must mean Simon and Andrew. Those are all the ‘others’ I’m prepared for tonight.

                “I insist, please!” Salome grinned and ushered everyone inside. “Ruth, good to see you again. How is your abba?”

                “Uhm,” Ruth paused, deciding what to tell the nice woman. “We… don’t talk anymore.”

                “You poor dear! Well, if you want, you can tell me about the whole ordeal over some hot tea and cinnamon cake sometime.” She pat Ruth’s hand and smiled mischievously. “That is, if this band of rascals doesn’t take up your whole time. Have my boys been behaving?”

                “Well, I haven’t been with them enough to know.” She shrugged. “I actually just joined the Rabbi this afternoon.”

                “How exciting! With all this going on, I bet you’re as hungry as a goat. Come in, come in!” Ruth found a seat at the table. She scooched next to Mary and took from the plate passed around eagerly. Even though the fare was merely bread and berries, Ruth was glad to have anything in her stomach.

                Simon and Andrew came in, and they passed the plate around to them. Ruth said, “So, how’s Eden?”

                “Fine,” He shrugged, something clearly bothering him. She squinted at him, at Andrew, then back at Simon. Well, I can’t figure it out by staring at you. I suppose I’ll ask later.

                Salome came to the table and asked, “Ruth, Mary, do you want to see the house?”

                “I’d love to!” Ruth stood up. She had seen the house before, but Salome’s herb collection was so nice that she wanted to see it a second time- not because she knew anything about herbs, but because the greenery stood out in the dusty town. Mary stood up and they let Salome walk them around.

                “Your herbs are wonderful!” Mary fawned. “Rosemary.” She pointed at a plant. “Dill.” She pointed at another plant that Ruth thought looked exactly the same as the last one.

                “Mint,” Salome beamed, “Coriander. And sage for Zebedee’s indigestion.”

                Zebedee looked at the goading looks of the other men and grinned. “Thank you for sharing that, my dear wife.” He gestured to Jesus, “so, was your father a fisherman?”

                “Carpenter,” Jesus said. Ruth paused her herb-searching, eager to learn more about the Rabbi. The only things she knew so far-that He was the Messiah, and multiplied fish and wine- did not suffice.

                “Oh. Is he back in Nazareth?”

                He gave a sad half-smile. “No. He’s in Heaven.” Ruth squinted. She didn’t understand in the slightest. So, Adonai was a carpenter? Or did I misunderstand Him when He said that His father was Adonai? Does He have two fathers, and both are in Heaven? Oh Adonai, last week when I asked Him if His father was dead, HIS FATHER WAS ACTUALLY DEAD??

                “What was Your father’s lineage?”

                “Josiah, father of Jeconiah at the time of the Exile.” Okay, so either Adonai’s ancestor is Josiah, father of Jeconiah, or He has two abbas. I’m thinking He’s got two abbas. So, is the ‘God is my Father’ thing just metaphorical, or what’s going on here…

                “But before the Exile, what tribe?”

                “Abba!” John scolded.

                Zebedee shrugged. “I like genealogies!”

                Ruth added, “I do too. Please continue.” And maybe I’ll learn how it is possible for You to have two abbas! She sat down at the table and leaned forward.

                Salome turned from the herbs. “I would imagine from the tribe of Judah, yes?”

                Jesus raised His brows, intrigued. “Why would you guess the tribe of Judah?”

                “Well-“

                A woman and a man rushed in. The woman eagerly said, “Are you having a party?”

                “We heard voices!” The man added.

                Big James rose and welcomed the guests. “These are our neighbors Mara and Eliel.”

                Mara plopped down beside Ruth, crushing part of her lavender colored dress. “We’ve heard about you.” She said to Jesus.

                “Have you?” Jesus raised His brows.

                “The parable of the fish!” They both said at once. The pair seemed to have all the energy in the world. Ruth guessed that was just the effect her Rabbi had on people. “I’ve got a question!” I’d like to know some things about it myself. She leaned in and geared herself up for an explanation.

                “Our master is tired,” Simon said. Ruth glared daggers at him, hoping he’d get the message. I want to hear! He did not take the hint. “He’s had a long day of walking, and He has long days of walking ahead of Him.” No! Just let Him tell the story, I want to hear!

                “It’s alright, Simon.” Jesus smiled. Ruth cheered inwardly. Now I’ll finally get to know what it means! Fish? Sorting? The end of the age? I’m not a fisherman, I don’t get these metaphors. Just tell it to me plainly! He motioned for Mara to continue.

                “I don’t understand what You meant, when You said angels would come and separate the evil from the righteous.” So, the fish are evil and righteous people. Okay, I get that now. And the angels… are going to sort the people? Okay, now I have even more questions. “How soon will they come, Rabbi?” That is not the question I would’ve asked!

                He pondered this for a moment, then said, “My friends and I recently returned from a wedding.” What does that have to do with anything? “The father of the bride was a man of great wealth, so he must have had some servants at home. So we danced the night away-“ He looked at Andrew and winked, “some of us, anyway. Meanwhile, what do you think his servants were doing back home?”

                Ruth raised her hand. “I don’t understand how this is related to the fish.”

                Simon gave her a quick glare and answered, “Waiting, if they want to keep their jobs.”

                Jesus smiled at both of them and asked, “Waiting where? In their rooms? In the kitchen?”

                “At the gate,” Mary answered, seeming to catch on. Ruth still had no idea what servants had to do with fish and what angels had to do with weddings.

                “At the gate, right. Were they just standing there in the dark?”  Of course they weren’t standing in the dark, they had lamps! Everyone and their eema knows that, why are You asking?

                “No, they had lamps.” Andrew looked up, and he seemed as confused as Ruth felt. He shrugged at Ruth, continuing to dip his bread in olive oil. Thank you, you’re not helping.

                Ruth began to speak, but Simon’s glare shut her mouth. Jesus continued, “Why at the gate with lamps? Why wouldn’t they just relax?” Because then they’d get fired! Come on, we all know how servants work. Just get to the point! Please! It’s driving me mad!

                “Just wait,”  She heard a voice in her mind that did not come from anywhere in the room. What was that?! She looked around, searching for the noise. Am I going insane? Well, that’s just great. Will Jesus still let me follow Him if I’m insane? She glanced at Jesus, who gave her a mischievous wink. Is that You?! I suppose it did sound like Your voice. Alright, I’ll be patient. Though You know, that will be the greatest suffering I’ve ever endured.

                “Because they don’t know when the master is coming back,” Mary answered.

                “So, what if they thought the master was coming home late? What if they drank all his wine, fell asleep on his bed, and let their lamps burn out?”   

                An unfamiliar voice rang out cheerfully from the window, “That’s easy! They’d be kicked out, fired, called some names, and told never to come back!” Whoever this is, he’s got the right idea. Jesus stood up and went to the window.

                “Shalom, shalom, my friends!” He greeted them. There was a very enthusiastic man and a calmer woman. “These are my friends, Barnaby and Shula.”  Barnaby waved his hand vigorously at the table with a huge grin on his face. He was dressed in bright colors, which seemed to match his personality. Ruth decided she liked him.

                Shula waved and said, “We thought we heard a familiar voice!”

                Zebedee motioned to the pair and said, “Jesus, You know them?”

                Jesus grinned. “Yes, Mary introduced them to Me.”

                Zebedee looked to his wife for a split second before saying, “Well, why not stick around?” Salome opened the door for the pair and they took a seat at the table. Barnaby led Shula by the arm to a seat near Ruth. Ruth noticed that Shula’s eyes seemed distant, like they weren’t focused on any one thing.  She made the decision to trust her.

                “I am Ruth,” She greeted, and held out her right hand to shake Shula’s. Shula took it and felt it for a couple seconds.

                “Hello, Ruth.” Shula smiled. She felt the callouses on Ruth’s right hand and bent it a little. The stiff and numb muscle did not give under Shula’s prying. “Hmm.” She hummed with interest. “I have not met you before. Are you with Jesus?”

                “Yes, I just joined Him.”

                “A good decision,” she beamed, turning her head toward Jesus though she couldn’t see Him. She turned back toward Ruth, “I hope you find what you’re looking for.” …what does that mean?

                Big James spoke up, “You were saying about the servants, Teacher?”

                Ruth turned from her little moment and exclaimed, “The story, the story! Is this the part where You explain what it’s about?”

                Jesus chuckled. “Yes, I know I’ve killed you with the waiting. So, the servants waiting is the same as it will be at the end of all things. Neither the angels nor the Son of Man nor anyone on earth knows when that day will be. Only the Father knows. So, you must be watchful, with your lamps burning brightly.”

                “Alright, I kind of get it.” Ruth shrugged. Simon stood up and went to the back of the room, beckoning John to come with him. She paid no attention- probably more boring adult things. There were many more interesting things at play. “So, You’re saying this world will end?”

                “Yes.”

                “And we won’t know when it’ll end. But… why do we have to watch for the end? Won’t we die before it happens?” She paused and saw His raised brows. “Right, no one’s supposed to know when it’ll be. But why is the end something we have to watch for? I mean, when the end happens, it’ll be pretty obvious, right? Even to those not watching. And what did You mean when You said we are supposed to keep watch with our lamps burning? Are the lamps a metaphor for something?”

                Jesus laughed and put His hands up. “All good questions. I will not answer all of them right now, but I can answer some.”

                “Why not right now?”               

 “Because you will not understand, and you aren’t ready for the answer.”

                She frowned at this. Well, just tell me the answer anyway! I can make sense of it later, I just want to have it! “You said You were going to tell us some of the answers now.”

                “Yes, the lamps are a metaphor.”

                “For what?”

                “Well, I guess you’ll just have to stick around a little longer and find out.” He said with a grin.

                The conversation continued, and Ruth kept listening with rapt attention. Far too soon, Mary called her from her seat to help serve those who were rapidly filling the house. The crowd grew quickly, so quickly that she didn’t have time to learn all their names. She filled water cups and served bread, all while not speaking a single word so that she could hear every bit of what Jesus said. She caught an important bit of conversation,

                “God does not see other sins as worse than others. All must repent or perish.”

                She stewed in this, while carrying water to those outside. The crowd continued to form. Those nearest the house had taken seats on the ground, while the rest of the street was standing room only. In her journeys to the outer line of people, she relayed the basic message of what He said and made sure they could hear. On one of these trips, she ran into Andrew who ran into Simon who ran into a dark-skinned woman.

                “Please,” The woman begged, “We need to see Jesus.” Ruth saw a group of men behind her carrying a stretcher.

                “There’s no room,” Andrew apologized. Ruth’s green eyes darted over the crowd. We can make room!

                The woman pointed to the man on the stretcher. “He’s paralyzed from the waist down. He can’t stand.”

                Simon interrupted, “Well, then there’s definitely no room.”

                Ruth glared at him. She felt a strange connection to the man on the stretcher. “Simon, he deserves to hear Jesus as much as anyone else.” She lifted her head in defiance, her decision already made. These people will get in.

                “Well, I know that! I’m just saying there’s no room!”

                The woman turned to Ruth, finding support there. “My friend, he-“

                “Why do you need to get closer?” Simon squinted, suspicious. Ruth glared at him again, pleading for him to get the hint. He did not, in fact, get the hint.

                The woman faced him, determined. Ruth grinned. “I saw what your master did for the leper. I know what I saw.” Leper? Jesus healed a leper? She looked to Simon for confirmation. He shrugged, for he had not been there. She looked to Andrew, and he gave a look that said he’d tell her later. See, Simon? I can have this sort of telecommunication with your brother, but when I try to make you get a hint, you’re completely oblivious!  “I know He can heal my friend.”

                Andrew looks at the crowd anxiously. “Look, we’re trying to keep that quiet. See this crowd? This is what we’re up against.”

                “Please!” She looked into each one of their eyes in turn. “Please, help him. Jesus is his only chance.”

                In Ruth’s mind, a wonderful plan began to form to match her willingness. Simon and Andrew walked away, worried about some boring adult thing like the possible threat of Romans. She grinned. “Come with me. What’s your name?”

                “Tamar,” the woman nodded.

                “I like you, Tamar. You’ve got guts. Now,” she shouted to the crowd, “everybody move!” Nobody moved. Well, that didn’t work. “Everybody move, please!” Nothing, again.

                Oh, come on!

                “I’m sorry,” Ruth apologized. “Short of assaulting people, I don’t see what we can do to get to Jesus. And I don’t want to disturb Him by causing a riot.”

                The man on the stretcher called out, his eyes full of longing, “What if you were me? Would you not want your friends to make a disturbance?” The simple question struck Ruth to her heart. I am you, in a different situation.

                “I would do anything I could to get to Jesus. I would go to the ends of the earth and clang every bell to get His attention.” She answered honestly.

                “Then please,” Tamar grabbed her by the shoulders, “go to the ends of the earth.”  She looked up and whispered, “is there another way in?”

                Ruth got her second ‘aha’ moment of the evening, and this time she was sure it would work. Unless Zebedee’s family took her to court for property destruction, that is. She led the group up the stairs and onto the roof.

                This was it, the do-or-die. “Well,” She asked with a slight smile as she found her balance on the thatched roof, “Does anyone have a knife?”

                Please don’t be mad please don’t be mad please don’t be mad, The thought rushed through her mind as Tamar called out to Jesus. It was just like Ruth to go and blow her new discipleship within hours of receiving it. She clutched the knife, which she had found on the roof.

                “Jesus of Nazareth!” Tamar cried. Jesus looked up at the roof, which had an open trapdoor. Thankfully, they hadn’t needed the knife. “I saw what You did to the leper on the roof this morning!” Didn’t Andrew ask for her to keep this quiet? She knelt on the roof and stuck her face in the large hole. “My friend has been paralyzed since childhood. Please, for him what you did for the leper! I know You are able!” The group tried lowering the stretcher, but the trapdoor was too small.

                “Sorry!” Ruth apologized before taking the knife and cutting planks from the roof.

                “Hey,” John yelled, “That’s our roof! Put it back!” Even Salome looked distressed.

                “No!”

                Tamar ignored them, and called to Jesus, “If You are willing, I know You are able.” Tears filled her eyes. “Please.”

                Ruth tore her eyes from the scene when she heard Simon’s voice across the street. He sat on the roof with an unfamiliar man and a group of children. “Ruth!”

                “Yeah?”

                “Is He in danger?”

                “Well, I don’t think the paralyzed man is going to hurt Him.”

                She could feel Simon’s eyes roll from far away. He continued, regaining his enthusiasm, “Can you believe we get to be here for this?”

                She grinned, knowing what turmoil she endured over the past day- no, week- no, year! Even a couple hours later, she was already beginning to see how Adonai had worked it all for her good. “Yes!”

                Some Pharisees arrived and started hurling insults at Jesus, and if it weren’t for her fear of ruining the moment she would’ve hurled them back. She stared at the whole scene as it played out.

                “Tamar, your faith is beautiful.” Jesus smiled up at her, ignoring the Pharisees. Who cares about those guys, anyway? Well, maybe all scholars for the past thousand years. And probably the Pharisees. But other than that, who cares about those guys? He turned to the paralyzed man. “Take heart. Your sins are forgiven.” He faced the Pharisees and said, “I bet you’re thinking, ‘This blasphemer! Who can forgive sins but God alone?’ But I ask you, which is easier to say: ‘Your sins are forgiven’, or ‘Get up and walk’? Well, both are pretty easy to say. But how easy are they to do? Now, I will show you that the Son of Man has the authority on earth to forgive sin.” He turned back to the paralyzed man, “Rise. Take up your bed and go home.”

                And the same Man who redeemed a broken girl made the paralyzed walk.

                Ruth’s euphoric feeling didn’t last long. From her spot on the roof, Ruth spotted the characteristic red and silver of the Roman guards. She turned to Tamar and her friends. “Run!” She took the knife, ready- but not really ready- to defend herself. She ushered the group down the stairs and out the back alley. On the way, she saw Mary being stopped by some Pharisee and worried about her. But she seemed alright, so Ruth continued on her way.

                She ran toward where the other disciples were congregated and didn’t feel safe until she got there. She took heaving breaths, then said with a grin, “Well, where to, Rabbi?”

Chapter Text

The next morning, Thaddeus split wood for a fire. Ruth knew she needed to be prepared for this life- but she hadn’t really been prepared for the whole sitting on a log, with her feet squished into the cold damp ground thing. Thaddeus asked, “How much firewood do we need?”

                Jesus shrugged, “I think five days’ worth.”

                “Five days?” Simon asked with surprise.    

                Ruth added, “Those Romans looked like they wanted to kill us. I’m pretty sure they could find us, even in the wilderness, if we stayed here five days.”

                Jesus laughed, seeing their shock. “I want us to save some for the next traveler.  Hospitality doesn’t only apply to those who have homes.”

                “So, how long will we stay here?”

                He shrugged. “Probably a couple days. Then we’ll head on to Samaria.”

                John looked from the fire and stared at Jesus. “Is that what You want? Traveling from one city to the next, not having a home for fear of those chasing us?”

                He sighed. “I want to do the will of My Father. And I want to spread My message of salvation. If that means never having a home, then yes.” John nodded, seemingly satisfied. Ruth was not satisfied.

                “What do You mean, ‘message of salvation’? Aren’t we saved already, since we are Jews?”

                Jesus smiled at her and put a hand on her shoulder. “You ask a lot of questions. This is good- I’m happy you want to know the answer. But I want you to trust Me to give you the answer when you’re ready.” She said nothing to this, considering it. Not being happy with her conclusion, she fell into silence.

                “Hey, was cutting open the roof yesterday a little too much?” she spoke up, pushing aside the disagreeable answers, “I didn’t think about whether it would upset Your teaching, or something. The crowds might not have learned as much.” Make sure you don’t mess this up, Ruth bat Barnabas.  

                “Who says they didn’t learn as much?”

                “Well, they didn’t get to hear You finish Your parable.”

                “I suppose some of them didn’t learn as much.” He tilted His head. “But some learned more from what I did. Consider you for example- to you, My parables are hard to understand and confusing. But were you confused by My healing of the man?”

                “No, it was shown plainly that You have power.”

                “Exactly.” He grinned. “Besides, I think that with her faith, Tamar would’ve found a way, whether you helped them to the roof or not. She would’ve gone to the ends of the earth,” He winked at her. She again felt an uncanny feeling that Jesus knew what she was thinking- a feeling she’d probably never get used to.  Mary sat on the other side of Jesus, and Ruth moved to John’s side.

                “Sorry for cutting through your roof yesterday,” She apologized. “Not sorry that the paralyzed man was healed, but sorry that I caused destruction of property. Although,” she added under her breath, “it was kind of fun.”

                “You’re forgiven,” John chuckled. “I saw what happened too. It was much more important than a roof.”

                Jesus walked away from Mary into the wilderness, presumably to pray. Mary walked over to Ruth and John and sat down. “We’re going to have a dinner party tomorrow night,” She smiled, a little bit of worry in her features.

                “A party!” Ruth rubbed her hands. Just because she had run away from the rich life didn’t mean she didn’t miss it, just a little. “What for?”

                “He didn’t say.”

                “Of course He didn’t, the Man of mystery,” She rolled her eyes with a smile.

                Mary laughed, then said more seriously, “Here’s my worry. We’re having the party in the northern district.”

                The northern district? Ruth thought back to her experiences going to parties in Capernaum. Oh, seriously? Her abba and she had gone to many places and met with many people, but they had always avoided the northern district like the plague. “Isn’t that…”

                “Where the tax collectors live,” John interrupted, a hint of disgust on his face. “And He wants us to eat there? Well, I wouldn’t tell Simon.”

                Ruth didn’t know the full story, but she knew that a man who fished in desperation the day before tax day probably didn’t like tax collectors. “I wonder what we’re doing there.”

                Mary shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out. Also,” She leaned in and whispered, “Nicodemus has asked me to arrange for him a meeting with Jesus, and Jesus agreed. I believe they’re going to have it tonight.  

                “Nico-who?”

                “A powerful Pharisee. He…” She paused, swallowing hard, “He visited me in the Red Quarter.”

                “You lived in the Red Quarter-“ she raised her voice in shock, but she was interrupted by John. The Red Quarter was a place of disrepute, the slums everyone avoided. Even in her many trips to market, Ruth never ventured there. It was like Capernaum’s very own Samaria in terms of reputation.  

                “This must be a trap,” John shook his head, “Why would a Pharisee want to meet with Jesus besides to accuse Him of blasphemy?!”

                Mary shook her head. “He seemed earnest. I think he really just wants to have a talk with Jesus.”

                Mary and John continued to debate Nicodemus’s intentions. Ruth just silently grinned. Tonight, a Pharisee, tomorrow a tax collector. What’s next, a leper? This Rabbi is turning out to be much more interesting than I had imagined. She interrupted their conversation with a witty, “Well, if it all goes wrong, I’ve just acquired a knife.” She pulled out the knife she had used to cut open John’s roof.

                “That’s my knife!” John took it from her and examined it. “I’ve been looking for it for ages. Where did you find it?!”

                “On the roof.” Ruth looked to Mary and corrected, “Well, if it all goes wrong, John has just acquired a knife. He’d probably be more useful with it than I.”

--------------------------------------------------------------

                Ruth had spent the entire afternoon chopping vegetables at Simon’s house, and she was getting tired of it. She used her left hand to handle the knife and her right hand to balance the cutting board. With her right hand she was already bad at cooking, so with her left hand there was nowhere to go but up. I hate cutting vegetables. She looked with malice at the cucumber, which had sorely wronged her.

                “Is that almost ready?” Eden came over. Ruth nodded, barely keeping her impatience in check. All the others get the fun jobs, like going to market! Why do I have to stay here where it’s boring? Plus, Eden and Simon haven’t stopped giving longing glances at each other over the fish since I’ve gotten here! Get a room.

                “Yeah, I’m finished.” She handed the cutting board over to Eden. Eden looked at it, smiled a little, then immediately went to the counter and set it down. The cucumbers were thinly and thickly sliced, and the whole thing was a large mess. “Is everything alright?”

                “No, no, it’s fine!” Eden said with a smile as she hid the knife with her body so Ruth wouldn’t see her fixing up the shoddy work.

                Jesus grinned as He cleaned the fish. “My daughter, you have…many strengths.”

                Ruth burst into laughter. “From Your tone, I’m guessing chopping vegetables isn’t one of them.”

                Simon came from another room and glanced at the cutting board. “Oh, good work, Ruth.”

                She grinned. “Just the fact that you knew they were done by me is bad enough.” The man gave her a tight-lipped smile and then started pacing around the room. She said in deadpan, “Jesus, help this guy.”

                Jesus raised His eyebrows and turned. “What seems to be the problem?”

                Simon stopped pacing and looked at Jesus. “I’m just not sure this is a good idea.”

                “Why not?”

                “It could be a trap! Nicodemus co-operates with Rome. They were the ones who sent him to Mary when she was possessed in the Red Quarter.” When she was… WHAT? Mary, the nice one? No way, man.

                “I am acquainted with risk,” Jesus hummed. “So are you, if I recall our first meeting.”

                Eden added, “Risk is his oldest friend, I’m afraid.”

                “Simon,” He turned to the man and said earnestly, “Mary is a good judge of character. She has been around enough bad people to know that Nicodemus is a good man. You should trust her instincts. And Mine.”

                He nodded gravely, then cleared his throat at the same time as a cough was heard from the other room. Ruth’s ears perked up. Who was that? At the moment she was about to check it out, Andrew came through the door with a dark cloak. “Ta-da!” He grinned, “I found it in the market.”

                “Who did you buy it from?” Ruth asked him as Jesus took the cloak and shrugged it over himself.

                “Hosanna,”

                “How is she doing?”

                He shrugged, looking away. “I don’t know; I just picked out a cloak, okay? I didn’t exactly talk to her much.”

                “How is her business doing? Did her stall seem busy?” Since Ruth had no more extra money to give the seamstress, she needed to make sure others were taking her place.

                “I guess so.”

                Jesus spread His arms and spun around in the cloak. “It’s perfect, thank you, Andrew.” He chuckled. “Though I think I could fit all of you in here with Me.”

                Andrew crossed his arms, trying to hide his beaming smile at Jesus’s compliment. “You won’t be recognized in this.”

                “Has the owner of the house given permission?”

                “It’s all arranged.” He nodded surely. “I’ll be waiting at the door.”

                “Thank you, Andrew. You go ahead.” Andrew turned toward the door, but Jesus took him by the shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. “And try not to worry, okay? You are there to guide our guest, not be My protector.”

                Clearly, Andrew was not happy with this instruction. He bit his lip and went on his way. Simon said, once again pacing the floor, “Are You sure You don’t want me to come with You tonight? The more protection You have, the better.”

                “I think we’ll be alright.” He smiled. “Stay here with your wife, and your mother-in-law.” For some reason, Simon seemed surprised at this last bit. Oh, that’s who’s coughing in that room. What a shame, Dasha’s so nice! I hope she isn’t too sick.  

                Ruth spoke up, “I know this is probably foolish of me to ask, but are You sure You don’t want me to go with You on Your way to the house? John let me borrow the knife that I used to cut his roof open.”

                He chuckled. “Thank you, but no. Although, I’m sure every evildoer should fear you immensely. I’ll be fine.”

                She scrunched up her nose and gave a tight-lipped smile. “Of course, of course. I just don’t want to lose my Rabbi after only two days.” She half-joked.

                “Ruth, you will never lose Me.” He said, completely serious. Then, He went out the door.

                Before she could even begin to process that, Simon sat down at the table and started eating grapes. “Ruth, you’ve been with the group two days and I still don’t know how you found Jesus. I’m curious.”

                She said sarcastically, “Two full days, huh? It’s like I’m trying to be mysterious.”

                “You can be mysterious around other people. Meanwhile, me and Eden-“ He gestured to himself and his wife with a grape, “we’ve sold you and your abba fish for years. I remember when you were seven and-“

                “If it keeps you from telling my entire childhood story, then fine.” Ruth stuck her chin in the air. She momentarily couldn’t decide between telling the whole truth and telling half of it. Simon deserves to know the whole thing, though. “Last week, I had the most terrible day…”

                The telling of her tale took two hours, because she cried too much. It was the first time telling her story, and she realized that this depressing year might actually be inspiring to people. She had been redeemed from her brokenness and anger, and she should be…proud of that? Proud of her failings?

                “Well, I’m proud of you, kid.” Simon grinned when she was finished.

                She scoffed with surprise. “You really shouldn’t be. You don’t know all that I’ve done.”

                He smiled good-naturedly. “That’s what I said.” 

                The three of them hugged, and Ruth felt that even though she accidentally got rid of her old family, she had a new family who loved her just as much. They were not blood related, but they had a connection that could never be broken- they followed the same Rabbi.

                Andrew burst into the room, a grin on his face. “That meeting was amazing! I didn’t understand half of what Jesus said, but-“ He noticed everyone’s faces. “Everyone’s crying. Did I miss something?” Ruth wiped her tears and simply grinned. “Okay, I definitely missed something.”

                They walked out of the door into the night toward their home in the wilderness. Ruth walked in step with Andrew, who headed out the door first. Simon stayed back to be all sappy and flirt with his wife or whatever, and Ruth wanted to be as far away from that as possible. “I want to know about the meeting!” She grinned.

                “It was amazing,” Andrew grinned back, slightly confused at the past ten minutes. “I’ve never heard a Pharisee cry before. Anyway, in the meeting, Jesus said He came here to show us a kingdom.”

                “A kingdom? So, He is going to overthrow Rome?”

                “Not that kind of kingdom, He said.” He shook his head, befuddled by it himself. “He said that it’s the kind of kingdom you can only see if you’re born again.”

                Ruth scrunched up her face and looked at him. Andrew laughed at her expression in the dim lamp light. She looked back at him and to the street, then finally said, “Born… again?" 

                "Born again." 

                "You can say that as many times as you like, and I still won't know what Rabbi meant." 

                He shrugged, "I don't really know what He meant either. He followed it up with, 'No one can enter the Kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit." 

                "Isn't Israel the Kingdom of God?" she pressed as they walked. "How are we living in Israel if we haven't been born of... water and the Spirit?" 

                "Look, I think you're directing these questions to the wrong person." 

                She continued, seeming to not hear him, "Born of water and the Spirit? I've heard Batta the shepherdess say that one of the Greeks' goddesses was born out of the water." 

                "Pretty sure that's not what He meant. But, when I followed John the Baptist he baptized people in water. He did this so that people would repent and prepare their hearts for the Messiah."

                "See, that makes sense." she admitted. "So, to get into the Kingdom of God, one has to repent and prepare their heart. But of the Spirit? What Spirit?" 

                “I’d guess the Spirit of God that came on the ones He favored, like Elijah or David.”

                She finally paused for breath and squinted at him. “…the what?”

                “You’ve got to read more Scripture.”

                “Isn’t it all just rules?”

                 “Isn’t-“ he sputtered, “No! Didn't you ever go to synagogue?"

                 "Every week." she shrugged, "The priest droned on and on, saying every word the same. One couldn't help but ignore him completely." 

                 "And your abba?"

                 "Every year, we went through the whole Torah. I only liked the first two books. He also read me the story of Ruth, and some hymns of David, but that's about it." 

                “Did you ever hear about King David and Goliath?” she shook her head. Andrew laughed, “Now there’s a story that will keep you on your toes! So, before he became king, David was just a shepherd boy. And he was bringing food to his brothers, who were on the front lines. They were fighting the Philistines. So, when David comes to the front, he sees this huge, seven-cubit tall giant…”

Chapter Text

After a very eventful evening, Ruth wasn’t sure she was ready for the dinner party the next day. Simon, Eden and she had a connection now, and even though Simon was a boring adult who sometimes infuriated her, she knew she could trust him.

                Jesus called, once everyone was up, “Before our dinner party tonight, let us go into Capernaum.”

                “Why?” Ruth asked.

                “I’ll tell you why.” He smiled. “We need to invite one more guest. Shula, Barnaby, and some more of Mary’s friends already know where they’re going tonight, but there’s one more person.”

                “Who?”

                Simon chuckled at her as the group began to walk behind Jesus toward Capernaum. “I think you know the answer you’re going to get from Him.”

                She rolled her eyes. “Well, it doesn’t hurt to ask anyway.”

                Jesus grinned. “You’ll find out soon, Ruth.”

                “I think You like using that word too often for my taste.”

                “It’s an apt answer,” He smiled. “Just trust me when I say that soon will happen soon.”

                “Hmm,” She fell into step beside Mary. You are another mystery. I like mysteries. I know nothing about you besides that you are kind. And apparently you lived in the Red Quarter? What happened to you? “Hi, Mary.”

                “Hello, Ruth.” She smiled, like she hadn’t gone through anything rough in her life. “Has this been a good couple days for you?”

                She grinned. “The best! I’m still getting to know everyone.”

                “Yes, that is a task I haven’t quite completed yet.” She paused and looked away, and Ruth saw her chance.

                “I’ve been hearing a lot of people’s stories. At first, I didn’t know if I liked stories. But I think I like them now. So,” She bit her lip and wondered how to ask. “May I know some of yours? Is it true that you lived in the Red Quarter?”

                Mary sighed. “Yes, that is true.”

                “Why?”

                “I was… demon possessed.” Each word hurt Mary to speak. “For years, I lived with them inside me.” She looked down at the ground. “I drove people away and tried to harm others, though I had no memory of those occurrences. I had no family, only a couple of friends, and I went by Lillith because I didn’t want to reveal anything true about myself. My life was a wreck.”

                “Wow, that’s…” Ruth paused, looking for the right words. “Super depressing. I’m sorry.”  

                At this she smiled. “It’s not, actually. My story is one of redemption. Jesus saved me from near destruction, and I’ve never looked back. In almost twelve years, He was the first one who called me by my true name. He changed me, inside and out. For that, my life is His.”

                Ruth thought this over. She found Mary’s undying devotion astounding. In her heart, Ruth knew that she’d follow Jesus anywhere. She just needed her mind to catch up.

                They arrived in Capernaum, going toward the Roman part of town, where the tax booth was. Simon and Andrew looked at each other in confusion. Simon stepped up to Jesus and said, “Rabbi, I know You are from Nazareth, so I am not sure if You know Capernaum well.”

                Jesus looked back with a questioning brow. “Oh? Why is that?”

                “Well, You see…” Simon paused, not wishing to offend the Teacher. “It’s just that, ah… this is not the part of town someone like You would want to…frequent.”

                He grinned. “Why? I am curious.”

                “Because- because… there are many Romans here. This is usually a Roman part of town. And the tax booth is here.”

                “Why should this deter Me?” He tilted His head, like He really didn’t know.

                Ruth held in her laughter at the exchange. It was very entertaining to see Simon get redder and redder, trying to come up with an answer. She interrupted, “Because tax collectors and Messiahs don’t usually mix.”

                “Ruth!” Simon turned, his eyes darting from Jesus to her and back again.

                “It’s just the truth. Although, I’m figuring He probably already knows that, ‘cause He is the Messiah.”

                He whispered to her briskly, “I know that! I just didn’t want to offend the Messiah, and make Him think that I was telling Him what to do!”

                “Fair, I don’t want to offend Him either. But I think He already knows what you’re thinking, ‘cause He’s the Messiah.”

                Jesus leaned in with a mischievous smile. “I am. You will see my reason for being in this part of Capernaum soon enough. Thank you for your concern, Simon.”

                Simon crossed his arms and glared at Ruth. Well, I’m glad that last night didn’t change our relationship. It’d be horrible if he started treating me differently because of what I did. I don’t think I’d ever recover from that. But, nope, he’s just the same old Simon.

                Jesus stopped the group in front of the tax booth. Ruth examined the man in the booth- he seemed terrified of the world. He also stared back at Jesus, confused. Jesus called with the biggest smile, “Matthew!”

                The man recoiled, like Jesus called his name to verbally abuse him. The Roman near the booth put a hand on his sword. Ruth rolled her eyes- of course the Romans had to interfere with everything interesting. What are you doing here, Rabbi? She looked up at Him with anticipation.

                “Matthew, son of Alphaeus!” He called again.

                The man looked around, like he expected someone else to walk toward Jesus. “Me?” He asked.

                Jesus joked, “Is there another Matthew, son of Alphaeus that I should be aware of?”

                “N-no, I suppose not.”

                “Then, Matthew, follow Me.” Ruth stood in shock. He did not just do that. She didn’t know whether to be amazed or horrified. Everyone else seemed as surprised as she. A thief such as me, I get. But… a tax collector? The traitors to Israel? Something struck her- was she any better than this man? God doesn’t regard sins as worse than other sins. She tilted her head and decided that she would like this Matthew, son of Alphaeus.

                Simon, apparently, had not made that decision. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, Rabbi, what are You doing?!”

                Ruth shoved him. “Don’t interrupt! I want to see what happens!”

                Matthew called out again, “You want me to join You?”

                The Roman growled, “Keep moving, street preacher.” Ruth wanted to take that shiny breastplate of his and throw it in dung. Stop interrupting! It was just getting good!  

                Simon pleaded, “Rabbi, I beg You to reconsider. Do You know who this man is? Do You know what he has done?!” Matthew’s eyes widened, like Simon’s reminder put him in danger of losing this new hope. Does He know what you have done, Simon?

                Jesus looked back at him, a look of disappointment on his face. Ruth watched in real time as Simon recalled his words on the beach that fateful day. Good thing Jesus reminded him of those words, or I would’ve had to remind Simon and I would’ve been much less kind.

                The Teacher smiled and opened His arms toward the tax booth. “Yes. You.”

                “Listen,” The Roman turned back toward the group, and the apostles tensed. “I told you to keep-“ Matthew had disappeared from Ruth’s sight. He was fiddling with the door of the tax booth. Ruth wanted to jump for joy. Yes! Take that, Rome! You just lost another one!

                Matthew handed the key to his booth to the Roman and walked toward the group. Ruth waved, grinning at him. Closer up, she could see that he was odd, with far too many layers for a hot summer day. His face was clean shaven, and he wore a white neck scarf. It must be a Roman thing. He’ll get rid of all that soon enough. She could practically feel Simon’s frustration from behind her.

                “I don’t get it,” He whispered, just loudly enough for Matthew to hear.

                Ruth rolled her eyes and wheeled to face him. Thankfully, Jesus answered, “You didn’t get it when I chose you, either.”

                “But this is different! I’m not a tax collector.” Jesus, please answer him, because otherwise I’ll yell at him and scare off Matthew. And, if I was a man I’d punch him. That’s probably bad. It’s best if You answer him.

                “Get used to different.” Jesus turned to Matthew and started to speak to him. Yess!! That was SO COOL! ‘Get used to different’! You go, Rabbi! Man, that was AWESOME. I couldn’t have thought of that, I probably would’ve just insulted Simon’s mustache or something. Jesus smiled at the newcomer, “I’m glad we passed by your booth today, Matthew.”

                Matthew’s mouth was slightly agape, and he stayed silent a while before saying, “Yes.”

                “Shall we?” He led His entourage away from the tax booth. Matthew didn’t look back, and Ruth had a feeling he never would. “We have a celebration to prepare for.”

                The Roman yelled, “You’ll regret this, Matthew!”

                Ruth turned around and started to yell, “And you’ll regret-“ She felt Jesus’s eyes on the back of her head. “Nothing! You’ll regret nothing! Have a fantastic day, sir!” She added an ironic bow as they walked away.

                Simon looked down at Matthew, who carried a tablet. “What’s the tablet for?” Even this simple question sounded like an accusation.

                “I- uh- I grabbed it without thinking. I could put it back?”

                Jesus turned and smiled. “Keep it. You may find use for it.”

                “Where are we going?”  

                Mary said, “A dinner party.” Ruth noticed that Matthew stared a little longer at Mary’s face than was necessary. Mary smiled at Matthew, and he seemed to let out a miniscule sigh of relief. Ooooooh, somebody’s smitten.

                Matthew seemed a little overwhelmed by the whole situation. He hesitated, “I am not usually welcome at dinner parties.”

                Jesus said, “Well, that won’t be an issue tonight. You’re the host.”

                Ruth cheered a little. “Yes! Wow, that’ll be fun.” She turned to Matthew. “I’ve missed having dinner parties. I know Shula and Barnaby and we are coming to your house, but I don’t know who else is. I love meeting new people. By the way,” She paused for breath, “I’m Ruth.”

                “I am Matthew.”

                “I know!” She beamed. Yes, Matthew seemed a little odd, but she loved odd people. Odd people were interesting, even after they had grown into adults. An odd tax collector-turned-follower-of-Jesus was definitely interesting. “Do you want to be friends? I can introduce you to people. I’m already friends with everybody here.”

                “Uhm,” He stared at her wide-eyed, like a sheep out of its pen. “Okay. I do not have much experience with having friends.”

                She felt bad for him, so she perked up and said, “Well, you’ve just gotten-“ She counted the heads of the people in their group, “Eight? Nine? You’ve just gotten nine new friends! I think that’s enough, right?”

                Simon muttered, “We aren’t friends.”

                Ruth rolled her eyes. “According to me, you have nine friends. Simon just doesn’t agree with my calculations. But he will. Trust me.” She glared at the back of Simon’s head, like that would change his mind. “I’m sure his reason for not agreeing with me is some boring adult reason, that is way too convoluted and annoying.”

                “You know what, you annoyi-“ He grumbled, and Ruth recognized the trademark Jesus-in-your-head look. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

                She turned to Matthew and explained, “He just doesn’t want to tell me because I’ll think it’s boring and convoluted.”

                “Fine! I will explain myself to you. But later.” He sighed, trying to keep his composure. “Not now.”

                “Fine, then.” She crossed her arms, then turned back to Matthew. Currently, Matthew was much more interesting than Simon. The words ‘explanation’ and ‘later’ didn’t belong in the same sentence. Therefore, not interesting. “Anyway, that’s Simon, as I’m pretty sure you’ve guessed. Let me introduce you to the others!”

                “Andrew. Simon’s brother. Usually more reasonable than Simon. Can also get hints if you try doing mind tricks hard enough. Like this!” She glared at him, then motioned to Simon with her head.

                Andrew sighed then said, “I know you’re mad at Simon; I’ve been walking beside you the whole time.”

                “See! John and James.” She pointed at the pair. “I don’t know that much about them, except that I cut through their roof yesterday.”

                “Little James and Thaddeus. Thaddeus used to be a stonemason, and Little James can sing!”

                “This is Mary. She’s probably the kindest out of the followers. She also has the most amazing long black hair, and I haven’t learned her secrets yet. But I will!” She pointed playfully at Mary. “Trust me on that one.”

                “And that’s Jesus!” She pointed at Jesus. “He’s my favorite Rabbi in the world. He’s very funny, but He’s also very confusing. He’ll be telling some random story and somehow, it’ll connect to this heavenly principle. Oh, important note! He’s the Messiah.” Jesus raised His brows and grinned. She explained, “Well I know You called him, but I didn’t know if he knew that.” She turned to Matthew. “Did you know that?”

                “Uhm, I do now.”

                “Good! It’s important that you do. You might even want to write it down.” He started to pull out his tablet, to which Ruth said, “That was a joke; you don’t have to write it down. Unless you want to.”

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                The group walked into Matthew’s house, and Shula, Barnaby, and some woman named Rivka walked in soon after. The house was ornate- even more ornate than Ruth’s house had been. She longed to lounge on the plush couches and lay down on the rug, but that would’ve been rude.

                “Nice house,” Simon commented, his words filled with disgust instead of appreciation. Simon, what is WRONG with you?! Just last night you and Eden hugged me, reassuring me that Jesus forgave my sins, and yet you have so much malice for this man who sinned as well? I don’t get it.

                “It is!” Ruth tried to spin Simon’s negative tone into a positive one. “I’m sure we will have a great dinner here.” Simon was her friend, but Matthew was too. And right now, Simon was annoying her.

                “I am sorry, I was not prepared for guests.” Matthew looked away.  

                “Eh, it’s fine.” She shrugged. “I wouldn’t expect you to be.”

                Jesus and the group sat at the table. Matthew ran around like a man with his clothes on fire, setting out dishes of food. His servants ran around, only slightly faster and with more purpose than he. Ruth asked with a laugh, “Do you need any help, Matthew?”

                “No, I am fine.” He shook his head. His face was set in a deep frown.

                She smiled, then asked, “Are you having a good time?”

                He seemed confused by this. “I am finding this all very enjoyable. Does it not look like I am finding this all very enjoyable?”

                Ruth grinned. “Nah, but it doesn’t need to be. You can enjoy it, but your face doesn’t have to participate.” Matthew nodded and continued on his way.

                She turned her attention back to the conversation at the table. Rivka, a woman who Mary knew from the Red Quarter, laughed loud and spoke for a long time. Ruth had finally found someone who talked more than she did, and she loved every second. Rivka laughed, recounting the day Nicodemus came to visit Mary. “I thought he would burst! He ran from there like a wolf was chasing him.”

                “A Pharisee, running?” Shula grinned. “Somehow I can’t see that.” The whole table burst into laughter.

                Rivka continued, “I thought for sure he’d trip and fall in front of my house, and then I’d be arrested!”

                Jesus grinned. “With your luck, I don’t doubt it.”

                She smiled at Mary. “I thought for sure Lil was gone that day.”

                “It’s Mary, now.” Mary said with a peaceful smile.  

                “And it always has been,” Jesus seemed like an abba in that moment, with his proud smile at Mary. With Him sitting at the head of the table, Ruth could almost picture it- all of them living in one house, the apostles her siblings and Jesus their abba.

                Matthew brought a platter to the table, and his gaze lingered on Mary, who had gotten teary eyed. He tilted his head in concern. Ruth tried to hide her grin. He asked, “Does anyone want any grapes? Barnaby, you eat a lot.”

                Barnaby took the comment with a grin. “Very observant, Matthew.” He joked.

                “Thank you.” He nodded and moved down the row. I’m getting the feeling that this guy isn’t that great at getting jokes. Well, that’s why he needs nine friends!

                Matthew moved down the row. “Simon?” Simon turned away with a scowl on his face. Ruth glared at him. She looked at Andrew then back at Simon, crossing her arms. You need to tell Simon to shut up.

                Andrew shrugged. She rolled her eyes and sighed. She discreetly looked at Matthew and then back at Simon, who wasn’t trying to hide his scowl. I know he isn’t saying anything! You know what I mean. He’s being mean. What did Matthew ever do to you guys?

                His eyes widened and he tilted his head back and forth. He glanced at Simon and mimed running away with a horrified expression. Ruth almost spit her drink from holding in a laugh. I know he’s a tax collector and that your brother is terrifying, but still! Jesus called Matthew. I don’t get why Simon doesn’t get that. Andrew finally sighed and turned to his brother. Ruth gave an appreciative nod. Thanks. I’m glad there’s one reasonable bar Jonah out there.

                A banging knock at the door came, startling the table. Matthew opened the door to find two Pharisees. No way. Ruth glared at them, recognizing them. These were the Pharisees that kept interrupting Jesus while He healed the paralyzed man. Ugh, what are you doing here?!

                “We were just on a walk,” One said, and Ruth thought his name was Yussif. “and we heard voices.” Yeah. Likely story. Most likely you followed us here from the tax booth and wanted to dampen our fun. Yussif continued, “We didn’t want it to be true, but I see here…” He gestured to Jesus, Simon, and Mary sitting at the table. Didn’t want what to be true? If you’re going to be rude, say it to our faces.

                Jesus smiled. “Would you like to come have a seat?”

                Yussif’s face filled with disgust. “We would never be caught dead in a… in a…”

                “In a tax collector’s house?”

                “Not only that,” He pointed at Rivka. What did Rivka do to you, besides living in the Red Quarter? “But with a- why are You- with he- and she…”

                “You seem to have trouble finding your words, man.” Simon pointed out. Thank you! Well, I’m glad that you can be at least defensive of Matthew, even though you don’t like him for whatever reason.

                “It’s just that-“ Yussif sighed, too angry for words. “Why does your master eat with tax collectors and sinners?” Oh, I wonder why! Maybe it’s because He’s a kind person! And maybe, just maybe, do you guys think that because He’s sent from God that that’s what God would want? To eat with tax collectors and sinners and redeem them? Or maybe you just need to shut your big mouth-

                Jesus tilted His head and looked at them. He seemed disappointed, not angry. Ruth glanced at His face. It was full of love, compassion, and the feeling that He had just lost His best friend. Jesus, why do You love these people? “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”

I get this one. Everyone in this room was sick once. She looked around the room at the people she considered her family. Every one of them had done wrong, and every one of them had been forgiven. These stupid people don’t want to touch us in case our sin is contagious! You don’t get it, do you? Frustration coursed through her at this realization. You just don’t get it.

                “I must say, I am shocked!” Yusef stumbled over his words.

                Simon raised a brow. “That seems like a you problem.”

                He continued anyway, much to Ruth’s chagrin. “All this is defiling. This woman from the Red Quarter- she has done things that would make my tongue unclean if I even mentioned them!”

                Ruth interrupted, “Then go wash it off, if it bothers you so much. Did you not pass by the market? They sell all different kinds of soap there.”

                Yusef sighed and continued on his tirade. “What I find most appalling is him!” He pointed to Matthew, who looked like he wanted to sink into the ground. “He betrays our people for money. Never in my years have I seen a Rabbi such as yourself associate with…” he struggled to find the words. “One who willingly works with the Romans! It’s despicable!”

                “If it offends you so much, then please leave!” Andrew stood up. 

                Ruth added, “If you’re having trouble finding the door, it’s right behind you.” She gestured to the open door.

                Jesus put a hand up. “Children, let them speak.” But I don’t want to! He gave Ruth a glance. “Let them speak anyway.” Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fine. I’ll do it Your way.

                “They’ve never offered guilt sacrifices in the temple.” Yussif said.  

                “The priest keeps records,” The older Pharisee said. “We checked.” What a stick in the mud!  

                Matthew squinted at them. “Tax collectors are not allowed in the temple.” Yeah, what’s he supposed to do?

                John let out a scoffing laugh. “Would you like him better if he made the proper sacrifices?”

                Yussif scoffed. “This isn’t about me! This is about what God wants!”

                Ruth but in, “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

                He looked heavenward and muttered, “Messiah, come quickly.” Ruth glanced over at Jesus with a barely hidden smile. He’s already here, guys.

                Jesus began to speak, and Ruth knew He was going to dive into some theology she didn’t understand but was really cool anyway. “You are forgetting the scroll of Hosea. Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy more than sacrifice.’”

                Yussif looked disgusted at the mere mention of mercy. “Be careful, Rabbi. There are righteous men on the lookout for you.”

                Simon scoffed. “Wow, and mercy is considered unrighteous these days?”

                “They are weighing every word You say!”

                “Is that a threat?”

                Jesus said calmly, “Please let these men know this, Yussif. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” He gestured to the table with a slight smile.  

                That made Yussif really mad, which filled Ruth with joy. The Roman from earlier came up behind the Pharisees. Oh, now it’s a party.  “Is everything under control here?”

                “Yes. We were just leaving.”  Yussif said to the Roman, but his eyes were fixed on Jesus with a cold hatred. This punctured Ruth’s heart like none of the argument had before. The argument had been kind of fun, because Ruth liked seeing people with wrong opinions be proven wrong. But this hatred went beyond Pharisees. How could anybody hate her Rabbi? The Roman sent the Pharisees on their way and stood at the door expectantly. He stared at Matthew.

                Matthew stood up, shaken. “You all keep eating. I will talk to this man.” Yeah, and tell him to go away!

                Ruth turned to Jesus, sighing deeply. “They looked like they hated You. Is that a common thing?”

                Jesus stared at the door, not answering. It seemed like all the weight of the world was on His shoulders. Ruth understood why- they had walked away. She had done it once. But, unlike she did, she didn’t think they would come back. I’m sorry.

               She inhaled, trying to get the somber tone of the evening back to its previously happy tone. “That was fun, wasn’t it?”

               John chuckled, “I liked seeing their faces. I thought the one Pharisee would have a heart attack.”

               “And his face got so red!”

Chapter Text

The next morning, Ruth helped break camp. She had never broken a camp before, and it was a lot of work. She laid down in the grass and hoped that they wouldn’t be walking to Samaria for another two hours at least.

                John and Big James came and joined the adults. Jesus called to the group, “Alright, are we all ready?” Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Ruth pushed herself off the ground and joined the group.

                John held up two large bags. “Extra food from our eema!”

                Big James held up two more. “We told her we only had a three-day journey, but she still packed our bags like we were walking for six!” He laughed.

                “She still couldn’t believe that we’re going to Samaria.”

                “Honestly,” Big James added with a frown, “I can’t believe it either.”

                Jesus said with a grin, “You will. We will go into Samaria, and then to Jerusalem.”  

                Andrew chimed in, “If Jerusalem is your goal, then it’s safer to go around Samaria.” He pulled out a map from Matthew’s bag. “See here?” He pointed. Jesus did not appear to be paying attention.

                “Did you join Me for safety?” He raised a brow.

                “Well, no, but-“

                Big James interrupted. “Rabbi, they’re Samaritans!”

                Jesus nodded solemnly, like He hadn’t taken that into consideration before. “Good to know. Your point?”

                “These are the people who profaned our dead bones! They’ll attack us at every opportunity!”

                Matthew raised his hand tentatively. “He is right. Going through Samaria increases our chances of being attacked by…” he began calculating the odds in his head.

                “By a lot.” John interrupted. “By too much. And I still don’t believe that You have friends in Samaria. They hate us, and we hate them. They fought against us with the Seleucids in the Maccabean wars!”

                Jesus shrugged and said, “We destroyed their temple a hundred years ago. None of you were alive for either of those things. If we have to do a question-and-answer session every time I do something unexpected,” He smiled a little, “it will be very annoying for all of us.” He gestured to the road to Capernaum, where they would gather supplies for their journey. “Let us be on our way. You all know your assignments. We meet at the fountain at the third hour.”

                Simon frowned deeply, and Ruth knew it wasn’t just their destination that bothered him. Apparently, Jesus knew too. He asked, “Simon, what troubles you?”

                “Nothing, I’m just excited for the trip.” Simon tried to force a smile onto his face. It didn’t work.

                Jesus raised a brow. “You can tell Me the truth.”

                He chuckled. “What, like You don’t know what’s going on in my head already?”

                “That’s a conversation for another time. But for now…” He motioned for Simon to continue.

                “If you insist. I’m the only one among us who’s married.”

                “I see. So, you think I only should’ve called single people?”  

                “Of course not, I’m glad you didn’t. It’s just that Eden will be alone with her eema and-“

                “You’re worried that things will go wrong, and you won’t be there to help.”

                “See what I mean? You know everything anyway.”

                Jesus laughed. “Simon, everyone here knows what you’re thinking most of the time. It doesn’t take God’s wisdom.”

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                Ruth never thought the market would be a boring place. But suddenly, she had many more interesting things to do with her life. So here she was, buying bags and bags of pistachios, being incredibly bored. I wish it would be the third hour already. I want Simon to tell me why he hates Matthew so much! She didn’t know exactly if she dreaded or wished for Simon to tell her, but she knew she’d go crazy with the waiting.

                She checked the sun, squinting against it. Yes! Stories, here I come! She ran to the fountain, pistachios in tow. On her way, she bumped into a Pharisee. “So sorry!” He stayed where he was, not seeming to notice her. She recognized his face. “Hey! You’re the Pharisee I saw Mary talking to, right? What’s your name again?” She closed her eyes to think. “Nemus- no, that’s not it. You have a better name than that. It starts with an N and ends with a -mus, I know that.” She checked the sun again and saw the disciples gathering at the fountain. “Well, I’d better go. Shalom shalom to you!”

                As she walked away, it struck her that this Pharisee seemed more lost than any thief or tax collector she had ever come across.

                She came to the fountain to find Simon and Andrew grinning. “What’s up?”

                Simon looked like he was about to burst with happiness. “Jesus did it! He cured Eden’s eema! Oh, Adonai is good!”

                Andrew added, taking a handful of pistachios out of Ruth’s pack, “He cured her so much she stood up and asked if we wanted any fruit.”

                Ruth laughed. “Dasha is a formidable woman. The first time I met her, she recruited me to make a five-course meal when I had only come to buy fish.”

                “Well, it was a good meal.” Andrew grinned as Simon flicked water onto John’s back. “The vegetables were shoddily cut, though.”

                “Enough with the vegetables! I know they need work. I’m a stuck-up city girl, I was never taught.”

                He shrugged. “Excuses, excuses.”

                Jesus called out, “Is everyone here?”

                “Yeah, I think so.” Simon counted their heads. “Wait, there’s only nine of us.”

                Ruth grinned. “You forgot to count yourself.”

                Jesus called out again, searching the square, “Is there anyone else we need?” Unless You asked someone to follow You while we were at market, I don’t think so. What are You doing, Rabbi?

                Simon stooped down and saw a purple bag at the base of the fountain. “Look at this!” The apostles gathered around it. He opened it. “It’s full of gold!”

                Ruth tried to reach for it. “You could give it to me, I know how to handle that much money.”

                “No way! You’ll tip us out of our dinner.” He chuckled.

                She rolled her eyes and ignored him. “Hey Rabbi, where’d that come from? I figure You’d know.”

                Jesus sighed deeply and gave a sad smile. “A friend of mine left it for us.”

                “Oh, really? Who?” He turned toward the alley and looked longingly at it. “Is Your friend there? Who is it? I want to meet him! Or her! Anyway, any friend of Yours is a friend of mine.” She craned her neck toward the alley, straining to see. It didn’t cross her mind that she had just bumped into someone there a couple seconds ago.

                “Someone lost.” He sighed, then whispered, “You came so close.” Ruth heard sobbing in the distance. Whatever that’s about, it’s probably bad.

                “What do You mean?” Mary asked.

                “Come on!” Simon jumped in. Simon bar Jonah! You always interrupt just when I’m about to find something interesting out. “We have to set out now if we want to make it to Tiberius by nightfall.”

                Jesus stayed silent a long time, then nodded. “You’re right. Let’s go.” They turned from the fountain and went on their way, and Ruth got the sinking feeling that the group was missing a piece.

                She fell in step with Simon. “That was weird, wasn’t it?”

                Simon shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so. But that’s kind of the norm at this point.” He fell silent, content to walk in the quiet and focus on the sound of his footsteps.

                Ruth disturbed the silence, “Speaking of giving me an explanation, are you going to tell me why you hate Matthew so much?”

                He sighed deeply. “Yes. That. It’s not a fun story, or a happy one.”

                “I can handle it.” She stood up straight to seem more mature, and she immediately broke into giggles. “I can! I promise!” She bit her smile and turned it into a serious frown. “I will listen, and I promise not to interrupt.”

                “Fine.” He relented. “I’m sure you’ll break your promise on the not-interrupting part, though. But just the fact that you’re willing to promise makes me know that you won’t stop bothering me until I tell you.” He paused for a while, making Ruth unsure if he’d actually tell her or not.

                “I told you my story, now you tell me yours!”

                He gave a wry chuckle, “See? I’m trying to figure out how to tell it to you, don’t get in a tizzy.” He took a deep breath. “As you know, I was very much in debt with Rome. So, I made a deal. I’d turn in fishermen fishing on Shabbat in return for not going to jail.”

                “You wouldn’t!”

                “I did. And, don’t worry, I lied.”

“Yeah, that makes it better.”

 “No one actually went to jail because of me. But they found out I lied.” He furrowed his brow, losing his lighter tone.  “Want to know why?”

                “Why?”

                “Apparently, Matthew went to Quintus and told him he didn’t trust me. So, Quintus made Matthew follow me- spy on me! And that’s how Rome found out. They got rid of the deal.”

                This shocked her. “Why would he do that?”

                “I don’t know.” He glared at the back of Matthew’s head. “Because he hates me. Because his loyalty is to Rome. I don’t know. What I do know is that if Jesus hadn’t helped me that day, Andrew and I would be in debtor’s prison. Eden and Dasha would be without protection and without income! And I would be practically dead.”

                “Oh.” Ruth didn’t know how to reconcile this information with the information she knew about Matthew. She also didn’t know how any of it made any sense. Yes, it wasn’t right that Matthew would’ve turned Simon in, but Simon had been in a bad spot already. God doesn’t see sins as worse than others. Lying, or spying, they’re all in the same group. She squinted, “Wouldn’t you be in debtor’s prison without Jesus already?”

                “Yes, but that’s not the point. That- that tax collector, that traitor betrayed me, even though I had never wronged him in the slightest. He just betrays, over and over and over again.” He slammed his fist into his palm to punctuate the point.

                Traitor, traitor. Against her will, images of her in the marketplace zoomed behind her eyes. I’m a traitor. Everyone’s a traitor. But we’re not that way anymore. “He was called by Jesus,” her heart raced with adrenaline at the possibility of an argument. Be careful, Ruth bat Barnabas.

                “Look, kid-“

                “Don’t call me kid!” she bit out, with more violence than she had intended. “What makes you think you have the right? You don’t know Matthew, not really. You don’t know why he did that, or why he became a tax collector. And you haven’t even given him a chance now, when he’s a disciple!”

                He bit his lip and considered her response carefully. “Are you saying that you’re taking his side? That years of friendship between our families just disappears because someone new shows up and he’s more interesting than I am?”

                “Wow, okay. Because that’s fair. You know, I don’t get why you don’t get it! Obviously, Matthew did stupid stuff before he was called. You did stupid stuff before you were called! I did stupid stuff before I was called! All of us sinned, and all of us were forgiven.”

                “What don’t I get?”

                “I don’t get why you don’t get that I don’t get what you don’t- oh, forget it. I think you’re being blockheaded about this whole thing.”

                “Blockheaded?” He crossed his arms.  

                “Because Matthew is Jesus’s friend. And any friend of Jesus’s is my friend.”   

                “Ruth, he hates me! He is a traitor to me and his people. I’m only telling you this so that you can avoid him!”

                “You’re a traitor to your people!” She fired back, only slightly noticing the hurt on Simon’s face. “And I’m not going to avoid him just because you can’t let go of a grudge. You’re being mean.”

                “Mean- I’m not being mean! I’m being reasonable. Ruth, this isn’t some backyard quarrel where I’m some bully who won’t let the little kid play with us. This is real. This is life and death. And I can only conclude that Matthew wanted me dead. I won’t pretend to think that you could ever get that.”

                Ruth’s face turned red. “You know what, you are being a bully. Matthew is my friend, and honestly, I don’t care what he did in the past!” Simon’s face dropped. Ruth only slightly regretted her words. “That’s right! I. Don’t. Care. I forgive him, just like I forgave you, just like you forgave me.”

                “You can’t forgive someone who wronged someone else! That’s not how it works.” The words cut her to her heart. Yeah, you definitely can’t forgive someone who wronged someone else. That’s definitely not what happened a couple nights ago.

                She ignored her hurt and retorted, “Well, Matthew’s my friend, so I think I can do whatever I want.”

                He threw his hands up. “You know, you are unbearably stubborn and unfeeling sometimes. I try to protect you-“

                “which you don’t need to do!”

                -“by telling you that Matthew is a dangerous traitor who wants nothing but harm to me, and will betray anyone who comes close to him. Besides, he’s a tax collector!”

                She looked at him, not recognizing him. “And I stole from my own father. You going to call me a traitor now?”

                “That’s different!”

                “How?!” Her voice raised, causing others to turn and look at them. She lowered it. “How is it different? Please, elaborate. Elaborate on why you are being so cruel to my friend!” Simon was her friend, but so was Matthew. And right now, Simon was being a jerk.

                His anger sharpened into one point. “Well, any friend of Matthew’s is not a friend of mine.” Oh, so it’s going to be like this, then? She felt her temper flaring up and embraced it. My convictions about my own forgiv- about Matthew’s own forgiveness matter more than this friendship. “You don’t understand the world, Ruth.” Oh, he’s still talking? “You don’t understand what’s actually important.”

                “I understand what’s important just fine! And I don’t want to be friends with a mean, nasty…” She thought of a suitable word to express her disgust at Simon, “hypocrite like you anyway!” She stomped away and sulked. I’m glad I developed these sulking skills earlier. She stoked the fire of her anger so the sadness at a loss of a friend wouldn’t creep in. She grabbed a wildflower and picked it apart piece by piece.

Chapter Text

While she was still sulking, Andrew spoke to Jesus. “We are running low on supplies. We’ll have to go into town. We can use the gold left for us by the fountain.”

                Matthew said, “There’s a town about a mile west. Sychar.”

                Jesus nodded. “Fine by me. You all go ahead. I’ll wait here.”

                “Someone should stay with You,” Ruth practically pleaded. Don’t make me go into town with Simon. “I can volunteer.”

                Big James nodded. “She’s right. Someone should stay with You, in case…”

                “I’ll be fine. Meet me by that well-“ He pointed to the well a couple yards ahead, “-when you’re done.”

                Ruth sulked all the way to Sychar. She was given her portion of the money and set out on her shopping spree. Shopping did make her feel a bit better. Mary had been sent with her, and her cheery mood was infectious.

                Mary said, “I heard you and Simon had a quarrel on our journey.” Ruth wanted to tell her off, but Mary’s face was so genuine she had to hold her tongue. “Is everything alright?”

                She sighed. “I don’t consider it a quarrel if we’re not friends.”

                Mary clicked her tongue. “That bad?”

                “I don’t want to talk about it.”

                “Okay.” She obliged, and they spent the rest of their trip to the market talking about happy things- nothings, really. They commented on the weather, complimented the dresses in the stalls, and joked lightly about how John honked like a goose when he lifted anything heavy. I’m glad Mary isn’t an infuriating adult. Maybe marriage is what makes you infuriating. That probably makes sense, because none of the apostles are married except Simon, and he’s been driving me crazy this whole time. Although Eden isn’t infuriating. Maybe it’s just a Simon problem.

                Mary and Ruth climbed back up to the hill where the well sat, arms laden with their purchases. As they crested the hill, Ruth spotted a woman- a Samaritan! She knew with her Rabbi things would be wildly different, but she hadn’t expected them to be this different. The Samaritan woman greeted them, going down the hill as they were coming up.

                “This Man!” She grinned. “This Man told me everything I’ve ever done!” She spun around, and Ruth couldn’t help but grin with her. “Oh, He must be the Christ!” She gasped. “I must tell my people!” She ran down the hill, whooping all the way down. Ruth laughed, the woman’s giddiness infecting her.

                Andrew stooped by the well, seeing the woman’s jars. “You forgot your water!”

                The woman waved at them, dancing and singing for the whole mountainside to hear. She ran into town, “Come see the Man who told me everything I ever did!” She whooped, “Come and see!”

                Jesus sat at the well, laughing with delight. They all basked in the wonder of what they had just seen. Little James pulled out a package from his bag. “Rabbi, we got You food. Would You like some?”

                He said, still grinning, “I have food that you know nothing about.”

                Andrew had already ripped into his package, his mouth full of food. “Who got You food?”

                Ruth sighed in exasperation. “Quit it with the food! There are much more interesting things going on!” She gestured to the bottom of the hill, where Sychar laid. “Like that! Did you guys not just see that?!” She couldn’t keep the grin off of her face. “That was amazing!”

                Simon looked down the hill as well. He questioned, “You told her? That- You are who You are? And she can tell others?”

                “Wait, were we the only ones to know so far?” She turned to Simon, momentarily forgetting that apparently, they weren’t friends anymore.

                “Yes.”

                “What food?” Thaddeus tilted his head.

                Jesus explained, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent me, and to accomplish His work.”

                “Forget about the food!” Ruth burst.

                Simon added with excitement, “Rabbi, You told her who You are?”

                He grinned. “I did.”

                Ruth jumped and cheered, “Yes! See, this is where the fun really begins, right? Wait, I don’t really know what this means for us. But I know that it’s exciting!” She squinted, then looked over at Jesus. “Wait, why is that significant?”

                Simon grinned. “It means- at least I think so- that we’re not going to be the only ones anymore.”

                Jesus nodded approvingly. “It also means that we’re going to stay here a couple days. It’s been a long time of sowing, but now the fields are ripe for the harvest.”

                Ruth groaned. “Not another metaphor! I am not a farmer or a fisherman, what do all of these things mean-“

                Simon interrupted her, “And so, it’s time?” Time for what? To overthrow Rome? Come on, someone catch me up.

                “Time for what?”

                “Let’s go,” Jesus said. He stood up and began to walk toward town.

                “Yes!” Simon cheered and walked next to Jesus. He asked, “Is this where the fisher-of-men thing comes in?”

                Ruth interrupted, “Wait, time for what? The fisher of what? I thought we were going to be farmers!”

                Jesus grinned. “We can be both.”

                “I don’t get it.”

                His smile was infectious, even though Ruth didn’t understand a bit of it. “You will.” Ruth couldn’t help but smiling too as she skipped toward town. Things were finally about to get really, really interesting.

Chapter Text

Ruth never thought she’d get old. As she looked across the table at John, she realized she was old. He was old, too. At the ripe old age of thirty-five, she felt her bones creak with every step.

                “I’m sorry,” Was the first thing she said. The lights dimmed in that house as she said it, as if the death of Big James was darkness itself. She had always hated shiva. She found it depressing, like death pervaded every space until the time was up.

                John shook his head, clearly tired of hearing those words. I get it. Sorry won’t bring Big James back. “We are not here just to mourn. I’m just here to get your eyewitness account. For my writing.”

                “Yes, that!” She grinned, finding a piece of hope to latch onto in the bleak house. “I think that’s a spectacular idea. What are you going to call it?”

                “C-call it? I don’t think it has to have a name.”

                “I think it should!” She grinned as she pictured it. “You could call it, “The Life and Times of the Most Epic Rabbi who Ever Lived.”

                “It’s a little long. Well, if it had to have a title, I’d think I’d call it….” He considered it. “Good news.”

                “It’s very apt, though a little short.” She winked. “Kidding. I think it’s fantastic. ‘Good news’- that’s what it is, after all. It’s the best news I’ve ever heard, anyway. So, what do you want me to do? Just… reminisce?”

                “I guess so. I’ll write down what I find important.”

                She chuckled. “I think everything about then is important.” She sighed. “Sometimes I find myself wishing I could get back to it- I know that’s bad. But those were the best three years of my life. Adonai, I miss Him.”  Tears started coming to her eyes. “Look what you did! You made me a blubbering mess.” She wiped her tears on her veil and gathered herself. “So, uhm, where do you want me to start?”  

                “The very first time you saw Him.”

                She tilted her head. “But you were there!”

                “Just humor me. I’m trying to go chronologically.”

                “Fine, then. If you’re going to be chronological about it. The first time I saw Him, I was sure I hated Him. That sounds bad, don’t include that bit. But I was caught up in this stupid muddle of feelings about Adonai. And… He changed me. Forever.” She paused for dramatic effect.

                “Well? Aren’t you going to tell the rest of it?”

                “Yes, hold on!”

                ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Sermon after sermon, Ruth soaked Jesus’s words in. It was wonderous. She got to hear her Rabbi every day, beginning at dawn. She pondered the first sermon as she sat on the steps outside Jesus’s dwelling, waiting for when he would speak again. Simon came bounding down the street, and she tried not to roll her eyes.

                “I counted fifty people in the square already, with more arriving every minute.” He walked toward Andrew and asked, “is Jesus ready?”

                “Give Him a break!” Ruth interrupted. “He’s been speaking since dawn. They can wait a few minutes.”

                “I’m sure you wouldn’t be able to wait. There are so many begging to hear more!”

                Ruth rolled her eyes and fell silent. Little James continued, more gently, “I agree. He needs a moment alone. Just because He’s the Messiah doesn’t mean He doesn’t need rest.”

                Mary said, tilting her head, “I thought most people left after the first sermon.”

                “They did,” Simon explained, “to get their family and friends. They have now returned threefold.” Seriously, at this point let’s just invite the full population of Sychar. It’s exciting, yes! But even I’m tired, and I haven’t been doing anything!

                Matthew interrupted, staring at his slate. “The population of Sychar is 2000, not counting women and children. Rabbi said we would stay here for two days, which if sleeping hours were eliminated that is 24 hours total to preach. That means we would have to reach….” He calculated the numbers mentally.

                Simon said in a lowered voice to Ruth, “You’re seriously friends with him?”

                Ruth bared her teeth. “You say one more word and I will take your sandals off and throw them in the dung heap.”

                Matthew concluded his calculations. “To reach the total population, per hour we would need to reach 83.333333333….3333 men.”

                Simon raised his brows and said with a grin, “And what’s .33 of a man, Matthew?” Matthew, thankfully, missed Simon’s obvious goading expression. Ruth spent far too many years of her life in friendship with this man, so she caught it.

                “I am having such a good day,” she said through gritted teeth. “Please don’t go and ruin it for me.”

                Simon put his hands up in mock surrender. “There’s no need to be hostile. The crowds are growing out there, and I just think we should decide quickly what to do.”

                “Well, if we need to decide what to do so quickly, then I don’t think we should waste our time on drivel and, as you would call them, backyard quar-“

                Mary, the gift to earth sent from Heaven, interrupted, “Why don’t we just ask Jesus? He can decide.”

                “Mary, you are my best friend forever and ever and remind me to keep saying that.”

                Andrew’s eyes darted around, eager to get away from the growing tension. “I’ll tell him!” Don’t you dare don’t you dare don’t you dare- ANDREW! She mentally yelled at him as he left.

                Matthew looked up from his slate. ‘How many stadia wide is the city?” You are not helping, Matthew. Oh, how I wish you could get hints so I could hint to both you and Simon to quit egging each other on! Though, you probably wouldn’t stop if I yelled in your face.

                Simon shook his head as he laughed in disbelief. ‘You know, Matthew, you really are a piece of work.”

                Matthew. Don’t respond. Retreat. Retreat!!! Her eyes widened at Matthew as he responded, “Is that an insult, compliment, or neutral statement?” That was literally the worst thing you could’ve said.

                He sighed deeply. “Neutral statement.”

                Matthew took this as a sign to continue. “Does anyone know how many stadia? It will give us a rubric of how many square cubits we need to reach per hour.”

                “Rubrics? Cubits per hour?” Simon stood up straighter, like a rooster after he had been threatened. Ruth rolled her eyes.

                “Simon, he’s just trying to help.”

                “Excuse me, I’m having a conversation with Matthew. Don’t jump in.”

                Matthew continued, seemingly unphased. “His ministry deserves careful thought.” Matthew, he will one hundred percent take that as an insult. Trust me, I know him.

                “No one’s thinking about it more carefully than me.” His jaw ticked. Obviously not. I think rubrics count as pretty careful, whatever rubrics are. Also, wait- careful? Simon bar Jonah, careful? She had to contain a laugh at the thought. Thankfully, as soon as Simon noticed her giggles Andrew swooped in to her rescue with a brand new problem.

                Andrew’s voice cracked as he delivered the news. “He’s gone.”

                Simon narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

                “I checked all the rooms in the house. He’s not in there, or in the front, or in any of the alleys.”

                Ruth interrupted. “How did we lose a whole person?! It’s not like a coin that can slip behind a bureau.”

                Andrew spoke haltingly, “Well, he’s probably not… lost.”

                Simon immediately took control. “Alright. Little James, you search the southern side. Andrew and I will search the northern side. Tell Thaddeus to keep an eye on the crowd.” Notably, he did not give Matthew an assignment.

                Ruth raised her hand. “What about me? I want to help!”

                “I don’t need to deal with you right now on top of this.”

                “What do you mean, deal with me? Also, who left you in charge, anyway?”

                He groaned. “This. This is what I meant. You know, you think you’re so mature, but you’re really-“

                Matthew interrupted, blissfully unaware. “What about me?”

                “I don’t have the energy to deal with either of you right now. Matthew you just… stay here. In case he comes back.” Simon grumbled and ran away. Matthew tilted his head, wondering if he had done something wrong. Ruth climbed up the stairs and slumped down on them in the most unladylike way possible, needing to clear her head. Honestly, both Matthew and Simon are annoying the wits out of me. I mean, Simon can’t get a hint- and neither can Matthew! Can’t either of them get a clue?!

                Mary nodded to both of them and said, “I will be back soon. I won’t be very far away.” She started to head out of the gate.

                Matthew nodded and said, “Just so you know, staying here gives me to greatest likelihood of finding Jesus first.” Well, Matthew does have his redeeming qualities. Like this thing with Mary. Watching it is almost as fun as watching Jesus argue with Pharisees. Almost.

                She smiled. “Yes, I know.”

                Matthew paced around the front of the steps, taking his position very seriously. This cheered Ruth up tremendously- her new friend was incredibly fun. “So, I think Mary’s nice.” She said in a characteristic teasing voice that she thought he’d get. He did not.

                “Hm?” He looked up. “Ah, yes, I consider her to be very kind. Your original introduction of her to me was correct.”

                Ruth rolled her eyes with a smile and waited on the steps. And waited. Aaand waited. When she was sure that things couldn’t get any more boring, a knock came at the gate. Matthew went to open it. Three unfamiliar people stood there.

                One of the men said, “I don’t recognize you.” Yeah, I don’t recognize you either. Join the club.

                Matthew began to close the door, “I think you have the wrong place, then.”

                The man dressed in a colorful cloak opened the door again. “We are looking for Jesus.”

                At this, Ruth stood up. “Why?”

                “Uhm, He told us to meet Him here?”

                She crossed her arms. “You sound unsure. Come back when you’re sure.” She closed the door again. The door opened a third time, and Ruth saw the woman of the group and Mary hugging.

                Mary said, “It’s so good to see you here!”

                The man said, “It is good to see you again, Mary.” He gestured to the other man in the group. “This is Kafni, Ramah’s father.” Ramah? Oh, wait. Was she the vintner from Little James’s story? No, the vintner was named Ruth. But my name’s Ruth! Mary and Kafni nodded at each other, and Kafni came through the gate with such purpose that Ruth had to jump out of the way to avoid being run over.

                “Mary,” Ruth said, forcing a smile onto her face, “Do you mind introducing me to your friends?”

                Mary smiled. “Oh, that’s right, you weren’t at the wedding. This is Thomas, Ramah, and Kafni.” She gestured to each of them in turn. “They have come to see Jesus.”

                “Oh.” She nodded, connecting the dots. “See, when Jesus said we were going to meet friends in Samaria, I thought He meant metaphorically. So… I suppose you are the friends?”

                Ramah shrugged with a grin. “I think so?” She looked around the small courtyard. “Where is everyone?”

                Mary said carefully, “They’re out looking for Jesus.”

                Ruth added, “We managed to lose an entire person.”

                “Oh.” Ramah said. “That’s bad.”

                “Eh, not entirely. He probably just needed a moment.”

                Mary added, her face lighting up, “Crowds have been clamoring to see Him. He’s been changing many hearts.” Ruth loved to watch Mary’s face when she spoke about Jesus. The whole area around her seemed to lighten when she spoke, like she had just struck a match and held it up.

                Thomas smiled. “I know how that works. So, I see. Your friends weren’t just being rude.”

                Ruth was immediately put off by this. Rude? How am I supposed to know who you are, when I wasn’t there? She crossed her arms and said with her chin up, “There is a difference between rudeness and caution.” Some sparks of her bad mood left over from her fight with Simon flitted around her head, and she tried to wave them off. Ruth bat Barnabas, these people are just trying to find Jesus. One of the people just happen to be slightly annoying. But he still deserves Jesus anyway. Chill out.

                Mary stuttered, realizing the social situation had a potential to go downhill. “Oh, right. Uhm, Ramah, Thomas, Kafni, this is Ruth and Matthew.” Matthew reached out and shook Thomas’s hand.

                “Shalom.”

                Matthew began, “You approached a strange home, and when the occupant answered, you responded, ‘I don’t know you’. I did not consider it rudeness to close the door on you. Please tell me if it was.” Yeah, you tell ‘em! He tilted his head, like he genuinely wanted to know. Ruth had to hold in a laugh, as Matthew and Thomas stared down each other.

                “Well,” Ramah broke the tension with a smile, “we apologize for getting off on the wrong foot.”

                Thomas said nothing and continued speaking to Mary. “We had a brutal journey. It was a complicated route to get here, and the Samaritans…” He sighed.

                Ruth tilted her head. “What about them?”

                “Well, there are a lot of them. And I thought we’d be torn apart!”

                Matthew nodded wisely. “Samaritans and Jews are historical enemies. It is perfectly reasonable to be a bit wary of them.” Matthew, okay, you are not helping.

                Ruth but in, “However, Jesus has been preaching to the Samaritans since dawn and none of them have attacked Him, so I think you’ll be okay.”

                Thomas pursed his lips and nodded. “We knew the journey would be tough, but… it’s like He’s actively trying to make it difficult to follow Him.”

                “That’s because it is,” she said with a little smile. “But it’s all worth it.”

                It was the first time she saw Thomas smile. “Yes, I suppose it will be.” Okay, fine, I take back all my thoughts about you being infuriating. On a scale of infuriating from Mary-Simon, you’re in the middle. And that’s pretty decent for someone who called me rude five minute ago.

                Mary smiled, hoping to end the interaction before any of the parties accidentally kept offending each other. “Would you like to come inside? Ruth and I can prepare you a small meal.” Noooooo Mary why would you do this to me?

                Kafni continued, ignoring her, “I’d have come just to thank Him for saving both of your careers. Not that you care.” Messiah, come quickly. No, literally, can You please come back from wherever You are in the square and save me from whatever this is?

                Thomas asked Mary, “But if they’re looking for Jesus, why are you guys still here?”

                Matthew explained, “It is most likely that He will return to the place where He was last seen.”

                He tilted his head. “Why is that? Isn’t it more likely that He’s gone to His next appointment?”

                “Appointment?” Ruth squinted at him. Thomas was moving more toward the Simon end of the infuriating scale as time goes on. “Our Rabbi is not a businessman.”

                “Of course not. But surely He has many things to do.”

                “He does, but He doesn’t have a schedule.”

                “Oh!” Thomas brightened. “Perhaps I will be useful as an organizer, then.” Ruth, don’t say something rude. “I’m good with figures, times. Maybe you will not lose Him as often if you all follow a schedule.” Do not. Say. Anything. He could be right. He could be. He’s not, though. And he acts like he is. But he could be!

                As soon as Ruth opened her mouth, Big James opened the gate. “Good, you made it!” He said with a massive grin. John trooped in behind him. Both of them were breathing heavily- probably because of their assignment to plow an entire field. Ruth didn’t know about the purpose of the assignment, but at least it got them out of the house. He shook Thomas’s hand. “Sorry, it’s been a long day.”

                “We were working,” John added with a nod. “In the field.”

                “Come, everyone, come inside.” Mary nodded again toward the house. “I’m sure we would be delighted to prepare something for you.”

                “Yes,” Ruth added with too much sap in her voice, “Delighted.”

                Many hours later, Jesus came back. Apparently, He had been preaching for hours. Ruth joked, “You could’ve told me, then I would’ve come.”

                Jesus smiled at her. “There will be many more times you will hear My voice.” He spoke to Kafni for a second, then said, “Now I must commend two men who did a great act of service today.”

                Simon offered, “Do You wish for us to accompany You?”

                He shrugged. “Sure, if you’d like.” Ruth followed Him, hoping for another adventure… and arrived to the room where John and James were eating. “Thank you for your work today. I’m sure you are exhausted. When you have recovered your strength, please tell the group about your act.”

                John and James? Doing a great act of service? Ruth laughed inwardly. Yeah, okay.

Chapter Text

The next day, all of the group trooped along, John and James at the head. They had told them that they were going on an errand, and the group was supposed to accompany them.

                Matthew posed the question, “So, are John and James leaders now?”

                Ruth joked, “I hope not.”

                The time passed quickly as they planned out their day and their options. Ruth didn’t listen to much of it, eager to get to know Ramah. Thomas… well, the verdict was still out on him, but Ramah seemed nice.

                “I like your veil,” Ruth began. “What is the material?”

                She shrugged. “I don’t really know; I just know I like it too.”

                “What is your opinion on chickens?”

                “…what?”

                “Your opinion on chickens. This is especially important to know for the future. We may encounter chickens, and I simply must know your opinion on them.”

                “Well, I suppose I am indifferent to chickens. Their beady eyes scare me a little, though. But they taste good. My eema used to make this glorious chicken soup when I was sick. What about you? What is your opinion on chickens?”  

                “Every single chicken I’ve ever come across has hated my guts on the moment of our meeting. And I feel the same toward them.”

“That’s… a strange predicament.”

“They look at me with those beady eyes and I just know they intend to kill me.” she shuddered. “You know, Batta- a shepherdess who frequented Capernaum’s market- says that chickens are descended from the great lizards that used to roam the earth before the flood. They still have some of that bloodlust in their bones.”

 Andrew interjected, “A rooster bothered you exactly one time.”

“And it was a pretty big time, too!” she turned back to Ramah, “Picture this. It’s the tenth of Adar, the day of Simon’s bar mitzvah. I am only a little child at this time- probably about four. While we were celebrating, the bar Jonahs’ neighbors pen broke, and all their hundred chickens got out. Now, this caused chaos all over Capernaum, but mostly it caused chaos at Simon’s house. Why is that, you say? Well, when the celebrations moved outside, one rooster ran straight toward me and viciously attacked me.” she emphasized her words with a pointed finger, “viciously! And so now I am certain that all chickens have hated me since. And I hate them in return.”

                “You can’t just hate chickens because of one bad rooster! That’s chicken prejudice.”

                “Then consider me a chicken prejudice-r. Prejudicee? Pre-juicer? I have no idea.”

                Simon interrupted, “Forgive us, Ramah. Ruth tends to veer into the absurd when meeting a new person. I hope it doesn’t scare you off.”

                “Yeah, whatever.” She turned to Ramah and pointed at Simon. “That’s Simon. He’s boring.”

                “I’m not boring, I’m just reasonable!”

                “That sounds like a fancy word for boring. He’s also an adult, which automatically makes him double-boring. I, however, am fun and interesting.”

                “Uhm.” Ramah nodded. “Okay.”

                “Jesus and Mary are my best friends. Matthew and Andrew are also pretty high up there. “The others-“ she glanced at those ahead of them. They included John and James, who were annoying her to death, and Simon, who was also annoying her to death. “Well, I get along with most of them most of the time. You’re also going to be my friend- I can see it already.” From her tone, it was obvious that saying no wasn’t an option.

                “Oh? What about Thomas?”

                Thomas? Who said anything about Thomas? “Oh, uhm- I’m holding out judgment on him. Have to get to know him better, you know. And his opinion on chickens. Anyway, you and I are going to be great friends.” She nodded eagerly.

“Thank you.” She said, slightly confused whether she should be thankful or not.

                “I think we’re going to be great friends.” Ruth nodded very eagerly.

                Mary smiled, finally able to speak after Ruth had paused for breath. “We’ve needed another woman in the group. Ruth and I have been on our own.”

                As they fell into comfortable silence, the conversation of the men faded back in. Simon asked Thomas, “So, which do you think? Dinner at the treasurer’s or the high priest’s?” Simon, why are you asking this guy’s advice? He called me rude! Uh, I mean, I don’t care from whom you take your advice. Because we’re not friends. Ugh, brain, stop bringing him up!

                John and James stopped the group. John said, “Neither. He wants to make dinner.”

                Simon crossed his arms. “You guys are really enjoying this being-in-the-know thing, huh?”

                “Coming from you?”

                “What’s that supposed to mean?” No, seriously, what is that supposed to mean?

                Big James rolled his eyes. “Look, He told us His plans. Matthew, distribute the money to buy supplies accordingly.” Oh, so now he’s ordering us around, huh? Well, I only take orders from my Rabbi and Messiah! Are yoooooooooooooou Jesus of Nazareth? No? Didn’t think so. “Thaddeus, buy bread. Enough for twelve-“

                “Thirteen.” John interrupted.

                “Thirteen, then.”

                Thaddeus said, a little jokingly, “What kind? Wheat, rye, spelt?”

                “An assortment, your choice.” Well, I’m glad he gets to at least choose what kind of bread to buy. Seriously, who do these brothers think they are?

                Simon asked, “Thirteen? Who all is coming?”

                Big James ignored the question, continuing to state assignments. “Little James, buy one-“ John tapped him. “No, two legs of lamb. Andrew- grapes, currants, cherries.”

                Matthew looked at the bag. “I do not think we will have enough-“

                John interrupted, “We did not think we would find a bag of gold at the beginning of this trip, did we? We’re putting it to good use. Simon-“

                “Yes, master?” He asked sarcastically.

                John sighed deeply. “Three skins of wine.” He gave Matthew his instructions.

                Matthew shook his head. “At this rate, we will not make it to Judea.”

                “Have faith, Matthew. In Him.” He nodded wisely, like he knew everything.

                Ruth began, “Of all the browbeating-“ She didn’t even have to see Jesus to feel His eyes on her. “And what’s our assignment, good sirs?”

                “Mary, Ruth, Ramah. Look for leeks, garlic, and onions.”

                Simon asked, “What are you guys going to do?”

                Big James said with a smile, “Get out of the streets. Samaria’s main problem-“

                John shrugged and grinned, “too many Samaritans.”

                As they walked away, Ruth said to Simon, “At this rate, I’m going to walk all the way back to Capernaum and cut their entire roof open. And I won’t even be half sorry this time.”

                Simon gave a wry chuckle. “You’re telling me.”  

                In the evening, they walked to the field where John and James had apparently done their “great act of service”. Ruth asked Ramah, “So, I know you and Thomas will be traveling with us, but will your father be coming with us too?” At these words, Ramah started to tear up. “Oh, no no no I’m so so so sorry-“

                “It is none of your doing.” Ramah smiled a little. “My abba does not agree with my being here. He thinks it is foolishness. He has returned to Cana.”

                Ruth frowned. “I’m sorry.” She had no idea how to make her new friend feel better. “I… uhm… I don’t talk to my abba anymore, either.”

                “Well,” Ramah got choked up even more, “I hope that does not happen to me.”

                “That was a bad comparison. Horrible comparison. Terrible example. Besides-“ Ruth hesitated to tell this to a new person, but Ramah needed to feel better. She needed to know that her abba still loved her- probably. No, Kafni still loved Ramah. He wouldn’t have come all this way if he didn’t. “my abba doesn’t talk to me anymore because I stole from him. That was very bad. What you did is not nearly half as bad. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s actually very good instead of very ba-“

                Andrew interrupted. “You stole from your abba?”

                “Yeah, but that was a super long time ago. It’s all in the distant past now.”

                “When was it?”

                “Oh, like two weeks ago.”

                “Why?”

                “Because the passage of time occurred, and it is now two weeks later.”

                “No, I mean why did you do it?”

                “I knew what you meant; I was just trying to avoid the question.”

                Mary interrupted. “Ruth, if you don’t want to talk about it you don’t have to.”

                “Thank you, Mary! You’re the best. Did I tell you you’re my best friend?”

                “I believe so.”

                “Well, I’ll say it again.”

                They arrived at the field. Jesus place His hands on His hips and appraised it. “Wow. Excellent work, boys.” To John and James’ credit, it did look like a rather nice field.

                Big James said, “You should’ve seen it before. It was covered with weeds, thorns, and many other things.”

                John added, “I even got a wound from the endeavors.” He showed his hand to Jesus, on his palm that tiny pinprick that had almost healed already. “But I soldiered on. And we cleared and sowed this in a single afternoon.”

                Andrew raised his brows. “You’ve told us.”

                “Many times,” Ruth added. She turned to Jesus, who was much more interesting than the brothers bar Zebedee. “You know, I didn’t think that You’d be literal for once.”

                He tilted His head. “What do you mean?”

                “Well, the other day You said something about fields and farming. And John and James spent yesterday farming. So, is this why we’re here? To give the Samaritans food?”

                Simon rolled his eyes. “You’re taking it too literally. We’re harvesting people.”

                Ruth scrunched her nose. “We’re harvesting people? Matthew, I think you’d better write that one down.” Matthew pulled out his slate. “Joking. Although, it would be really funny if you did.”

                John interrupted, very condescendingly, “No, harvesting is a metaphor- nevermind.” He tilted his nose up in the air and stopped suddenly. Ruth didn’t notice his tiny smile. The line had been baited.

                “Nevermind about what? I want to know!”

                He sighed. “I just think you won’t get it.”  

                “So, you do think I’m dumb.” Ruth grumbled and said, “Fine. Prove you deserve to lord everything over me ever and tell me what it means.” John stayed silent for a long moment. “I’m waiting.”

                “Well… uh…” John had meant to rile her up, not actually provide an explanation. “Jesus said the seeds have been planted for the harvest, and now the harvest is ready. The seeds, I think, are like, all the prophecies and things.”

                “Okay?”

                “And the harvest is the people.”

                “What?”

                “No, no.” He closed his eyes and focused. “Okay, I’ve got it now. The seeds are the Messiah, and the harvest is the people.”

                “It doesn’t sound like you know what you’re talking about.” She folded her arms.

                “Do you want me to explain it or not? The seeds are the Messiah, and the harvest is everyone.”

                “We’re harvesting everyone?”            

                “No! It means that we’re spreading the message of salvation through the Messiah to everyone!”

                “Well, that makes sense, but what does that have to do with harvesting?”  

                “Listen, you-“ He looked around to see just the field, and Mary and Ramah standing behind Ruth trying to hold their laughter in. “Where did everyone go?”

                She shrugged. “They probably didn’t want to listen to your bad explanation of Jesus’s parables. I could get them straight from Jesus and they’d be less confusing than whatever i just heard.”

                “You can’t expect me to explain every single parable of His,” He crossed his arms, “I don’t know everything!”

                She nodded with sarcasm, “I’m glad that you finally remembered that.”  She walked with Mary and Ramah, who were much better than any bar Zebedee or bar Jonah any day of the week.

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                They caught up with the group. They approached a dilapidated house that looked like a ruin from Moses’s time. John asked, “Rabbi, what are we doing here?”

                Jesus answered, “This is where we’ll be dining tonight.”

                “Someone lives here?”

                He ignored the question and continued walking toward the house. A man with a crutch came hobbling out to greet them. “You must be Melech!” Jesus called. “I am Jesus, and these are my students.”

                Melech said, “I believe I owe you and your students a debt of gratitude.”

                “What?” John asked with a suspicious squint.

                “It was Melech’s field John and James so graciously plowed yesterday.” Jesus answered with a smile.

                John scrunched his nose up. Big James looked slightly disgusted, but less obviously so. He answered, “We… uhm… thought it was for travelers.”

                “It was not.”

                Melech sighed and said, “Okay, what’s the catch?”

                “Catch?”

                “Well, I must owe You something. Look, I don’t have any money if it’s money You want. I can’t work. I don’t even have enough money to feed my own family.”

                Jesus snapped His fingers and grinned. “That’s what I want. I wish for you to share a meal with Me and My friends.”

                “I do not have enough food for a group as large as You and Your disciples.”

                “That is no worry. We bought more than enough supplies from the market today. We brought quite a feast. James and John here picked out a wonder of things. I heard there’s lamb.” He grinned. Big James and John both glared at Him. Jesus said with sincerity, “Please. I would be honored.”

                Melech nodded. “Okay.” He led the group into his house. John and James grumbled behind Ruth.

                She turned and whispered, “Well, do you like your positions of leadership now?”

                Inside, Ruth tried to help prepare the food, but she was forbidden from cutting any of the vegetables. Or touching any of the food in general. Or being within three cubits of the kitchen area. The point was, she wanted to help.  Over dinner, stories were told and when it grew dark the group sat around the campfire and laughed- except James and John, who sat in the dark part of the veranda moping. It was one of the best nights of Ruth’s life.

                As conversation began to fade into satisfied silence, Melech’s wife Chedva posed the question to Jesus, “My father used to tell me stories of the One who would end all suffering. If You are that One… when will that happen?” Ruth’s ears perked up. She had never thought of the possibilities of Jesus ending suffering. Could- Ruth, don’t think it. But… could Jesus fix my hand? That’d certainly fall under His ‘ending suffering’ thing.

                Jesus sighed, and tears came to His eyes. “I am here to preach the good news of the Kingdom of Heaven, which is coming soon. In that Kingdom, yes, sorrow and weeping will be gone. There will be no more crying, or pain.” When, Rabbi? Since You are the Messiah, isn’t Your job to bring it now? I don’t get it! “I am here to make a way for people to access that Kingdom, which is not of this world. In this world… bones will still break; hearts will still break. But in the end, light overcomes the darkness.” It was a frustrating answer to a frustrating question.

                Melech began awkwardly, “Speaking of broken bones…” And Ruth almost had to laugh at that transition.

                “What’s the story?”

                “I fell off a horse. My leg never mended properly.” His words were stilted, like he was hiding the rest of the story.

                Jesus looked out into the darkness. “I did not see a pasture.”

               “The horse… was not mine. I stole it.”

                “I see.”

               “Look,” He lowered his voice, as Chedva took their daughter Rebecca to bed, “you have already done so many things for me that I did not deserve.” I think that applies to everyone here. The whole group stayed silent for a long time and stared at the crackling flames. Melech began again, a lump in his throat, “If You knew who I am… if You knew all that I have done… You would not have helped me.”

                All that we have done. Ruth stared into the fire as she contemplated this line. It’s strange, that this exact feeling can be voiced by someone so different from us.

                Jesus smiled, “That is not true. See, this is what we Jews do. We tell and listen to stories. It’s what connects us. So… tell Me your story.” Ruth leaned forward, silent as a mouse.

               “We ran out of money, and food. My little Rebecca-“ He choked on a sob, “I could see her ribs through her skin. My Chedva’s eyes turned grey. There was no work in town. I had a friend who was also in bad straits. We traveled south and laid in wait on the road from Jerusalem to Jericho. We attacked a Jew, who was traveling alone. We forced him off his horse, and took his food, money, and belongings. He fought back, so my friend knocked him down. I thought for sure he was dead. My friend was to pawn the belongings, and I was to ride the horse and sell it at a Roman outpost. But I wasn’t on for ten minutes when she threw me. Broke my leg. I had- I had to crawl to the nearest town and beg for a ride to Sychar, worse off than before.”

               The whole group stayed silent for a long time. Melech said, frustration in his voice, “Now You know. Now You know the kind of man You helped. I think about that Jew every day. Naked and alone on the road, probably dead. Rabbi, I am sorry You were tricked into helping a robber and a murderer.”

               “I was not tricked,” Jesus said gently. “And he didn’t die.” Melech looked at him in shock. Jesus shook His head again. “I am sure of that. Somebody came along and helped him.”

               “How do You know that?!”

               “I know. Melech, I promise you. That man did not die.” At that, Melech broke into sobs.

               “Why me? Why did You come all the way out here? Isn’t everyone in Sychar begging to hear You?”

               “The Shepherd leaves the ninety-nine sheep to save the one that has been lost.” Ruth liked that expression, and for once it was a parable that she could understand. They all had been lost sheep, at one point- sheep who had foolishly run away from their shepherd and got caught in a valley. But Jesus had come, picked them up, and said to the world, ‘Rejoice, I have found my lost sheep!’ The thought made her tear up.

               “What do You want from me?”

               “Believe My words. Return to synagogue. Search Torah, or hear the Word read aloud.” He winked, “And see what happens.”

               “And then what?”

               “Tell others.”

               He looked bewildered. “You know the crime I have committed, in cold blood, and You would help me?”

               Simon said, nodding, “He would.”

               Ruth added with a grin, “I am sure of it.”

                Jesus said, “Sleep on it.” He gestured to the group. “We’d better get back into town before it’s too late.” He added with a smirk, “You never know what men might lay in wait on the side of the road.” Ruth snorted, and she was the only one. Silence pervaded the group for two exceedingly long seconds. “Too soon?” Everyone chuckled, and Ruth knew He was, in fact, the best Rabbi ever.

                Chedva asked Melech, “You told Him?”

                Melech smiled, “I think He already knew.”

                Jesus hugged Melech tightly and said, “Sleep well.” As the group walked away, Jesus was beaming. It’s the exact opposite expression from when we met with the Pharisees, or when we left Capernaum. I get why. He got His sheep back.

                As they got farther away from the house, Ruth said, “I’m honestly surprised You didn’t heal him.”

                “Who said I didn’t?”

Chapter Text

                The next morning, Ruth woke up from the best sleep of the past two weeks. The disciples had been offered rooms at the house of Photina, the woman at the well. Such a large house, Ruth thought with a grin as she walked downstairs. It almost feels like home. She grabbed her breakfast and went to the table, where everyone was already discussing the day’s plans.

                “So, the invitation for the dinner with the high priest is still open,” Simon proposed. “So is the one from the treasurer.” Nods came from around the table. Ruth prayed and ate silently, not really interested in the conversation.

                Mary added, “Don’t forget about the leper colony.”

                 “I think I’m going to take a short walk,” Jesus stood up suddenly. All eyes flitted to Him. Rabbi, don’t go! All hopes of an interesting, Simon-free day go with You!

                Simon replied, “But we haven’t finished making our plans yet!”

                “Whatever the plans will be, it will be a long day. I need some time alone. I trust you, Simon.”

                Big James popped up, eager to please. Oh, brother. “You need protection. I will go with You.” John got the message and popped up alongside him.

                Jesus put up a hand. “Enough with the protection. I will be fine.” He went to leave. “I won’t be long.”

                Simon asked, “But where can we find You?” My goodness, you guys are clingy. Didn’t He just say He’d be back soon?

                 “Yes, where? And how long will You be gone?” Ruth added, not realizing her own irony.

                Jesus shrugged with a smile, “Seek, and you will find.” He shut the door, leaving the apostles alone at the massive table.

                “’Seek, and you will find?’” Andrew asked as he bit into a fig. “What’s that mean?”

                Big James shrugged. “Probably what it sounds like. If we look for Him, we’ll find Him.”

                Ruth rolled her eyes. “Well, that’s helpful.”

                “No, I think Big James is right. Maybe it’s not a metaphor for once, and we’re meant to take it literally. We’ll find Him if we look for Him.” Little James commented.

                John said with a mischievous grin, “Well, that’s not what I heard.” He gave a pointed look at Simon. “I heard you looked and couldn’t find Him.”

                Big James added goadingly, “Matthew said He was gone for almost a whole day.” Simon and Andrew’s eyes turned toward Matthew. Matthew pursed his lips and looked at the ceiling, which was, in his defense, quite interesting.

                “We need to do better.”

                Simon groaned. “Wow, look at these guys. They plant some seeds in the mud and suddenly they’re running the show.”

                “We just think we need some leadership around here.” Big James said in a reassuring tone. The news was not reassuring.

                “I thought we already had leadership. You know, our Rabbi?”

                The brothers bar Zebedee ignored him. John said, “Security concerns aside, we need to make a plan for today.”

                “That’s what we’re trying to do,” Simon waved their words away. “So, what I want to discuss is-“

                “That’s why James and I have made a plan for the next month.” He began listing everything they would do and where they would stay.

                “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

                Ruth bit out, “What’s next, are you going to arrange our marriages too? Collect us in one place so you can take a census?”

                John sighed, like he had just been presented with the greatest inconvenience of his life. “Contrary to your opinion, Ruth, we’re not being dictators. We’re just trying to do what is best for this group.”

                Ruth began to say something snarky, but Mary gave her a quick look. Mary asked in a level, non-accusing tone, “Have you asked Jesus about any of this?”  

                “He said we were excellent planners!”

                Little James corrected with a small smile, “I think He said you were excellent planters.”

                “Well, we did our jobs fully and efficiently, and He recognized that.”

                Simon leaned forward, “The reason He sent you to the field was to teach you a lesson.”

                “Yes, that leadership is only gained through hard work.”

                “Yeah, no.”

                Ruth added unhelpfully, “When I heard about whom you planted the field for, I thought the lesson was more like, ‘Don’t hate the Samaritans’ guts’, but I’m sure,” she added sarcastically, “John’s probably close enough.”

                John furrowed his brow, “And what have you done?”

                “What do you mean?”

                “We’ve done an act of service for a family, at Jesus’s behest. So, what have you done, in all your time here? What gives you authority to argue against us?”

                Ruth jumped into her retort with an eagerness that was a bit concerning. “Well, first of all, I haven’t hated an entire group of people for no good reason.”

                “No good reason?!”

                “And second of all-“

                Andrew jumped in, eager to avoid a fight, “Let’s vote on it! All in favor of John and Big James’s plan?” No one at the table raised their hands except John and Big James, for a moment at least. Then, Matthew raised his hand.

                Matthew explained, “I think their plan is logical. I think we should plan each month of our mission in advance. I also think that leaders should be elected to maintain order in, say, instances like these, when Jesus is away.” I hate to say it, but if a leader should be elected, it’d be Simon. He’s much more cut out for the job than these two are.

                “Honestly, it doesn’t matter what I think Jesus should do, or what you think He should do. I believe we’re following Him, not the other way around.” Mary said firmly. Ruth turned toward Mary, her mouth slightly agape. I have failed to comprehend the amazingness that is my best friend. That’s just what I was trying to say- and she just said it! But with less yelling! I didn’t know you could even do that!

                Andrew continued the vote, “All opposed?” Almost everyone raised their hands.

                “Well,” John began, shaking his head in a show of disappointment, “I’m sorry you feel that way. I, for one, am not okay losing our Rabbi! And I’m not okay arguing about where we go every day! And-“

                Thaddeus shrugged, and said simply, “So don’t argue. Like Jesus said, it would make things a lot easier. I agree with Mary- let us just follow where He goes. The rest will figure itself out.”  At that reasonable piece of advice, John threw his napkin onto the table and stormed out. Wow, even I’m not that dramatic. Big James got up to follow his brother.

                Ramah looked around the table and the awkward silence that now pervaded it. “So!” she began. All eyes immediately fixed on her, a mix of glares and slight smiles. She faltered, “How… how did you all sleep?”

                “Like a dream,” Ruth replied. “This morning, I was thinking to myself, ‘are these beds made of dove feathers?’”

                Matthew corrected gently, “Beds are not usually made out of dove feathers, I do not think doves have the correct type of feathers.”

                “It was a metaphor.” He still looked confused, so she continued, “Doves are usually symbols of peace. You know, like Noah and the dove with the olive branch. I am trying to communicate that I had a very peaceful and restful sleep, with the hyperbole of my sleeping on dove feathers.”

                He nodded studiously. “I see.” He pulled out his tablet to write the metaphor down.

                Simon continued their conversation from earlier, “Treasurer or leper colony?”

                “If we stopped by the leper colony quickly, we’d still have time to see the treasurer.” Andrew planned.

                “Yes,” his brother joked, “just for a quick stop. A walk-by, I suppose. Or maybe, to save more time, we should just run by them.”

                Ruth added, “We could always rent a horse and cart and gallop near them!”

                “Hellooooo, lepers!” Andrew waved at the imaginary leper colony. The three burst into peals of laughter, like friends who had known each other for more years than they could count on one hand.

                Ruth quickly turned solemn and haughty after the laughter died down. That’s right. We’re not friends. Well, Andrew’s my friend. But not Simon. Because he’s being a bully. Ruth bat Barnabas, you should not have to remind yourself of that!  

                Mary stifled a laugh and reigned the conversation back in, “Well, I think the leper colony would benefit from our help. But I think we should ask Jesus when He comes back.”

                “Yes, that is the answer to everything, isn’t it?” Simon sighed.

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                 “Oh, I know this next part! I watched it!” Ruth nodded and grinned.

                “You did? I don’t remember that.”  John paused his writing and looked up.

                “Well, of course I never told you. I never told anybody what I saw. And when you told everyone, I acted as shocked as everyone else.” She paused. “You know, I think I liked you guys better after that.” 

                “Liked us better? Why?”

                “Well, first of all, it humbled you. I thanked Adonai for that. You were both much more bearable.”

                “Yes, yes, I know, we needed to be humbled. Trust me, I’ve heard it from everyone else already.”

                “Second of all, it showed me that you get mad over Jesus. Like I do. Your whole fire-from-heaven thing did make me cringe. But, it’s not like I haven’t had that thought over the Romans or the Pharisees once or twice or…” she bit her lip, “seventy times. It made me realize that we have the same goal: to serve our Messiah, though sometimes in a misguided way.”

                “Wow.” He blinked. “I never thought of it that way. You… liked us better after that? What about that massive fight?”

                “Just because we have the same goal doesn’t mean that you couldn’t be annoying. Like that one time when you asked Him if-“

                “Hold on, I’m not there yet! Just… tell your point of view of that day first.”

                “Why? You were there. Can’t I just skip to the interesting parts?”

                He sighed. “Your ‘interesting parts’ are…” He checked the scrolls he had written of their meeting thus far. “Every time you and Simon got into a fight, then forgave each other, then got into a fight again, Andrew being… Andrew, any time when Mary uttered a single word, and every conversation you and Jesus had.”

                “Are those not all important?”

                “You even included what Jesus ate for breakfast each morning!”

                “Roast fish, when we lived in times of plenty. Otherwise, he ate-“

                “Seeds and berries, I know, I was there! And you even stated, word for word, your conversations about the weather. I don’t think the world needs to know what He ate, and every single joke He told, and every single smile He gave you.”

                “I want to let people know that He was still human! Though He’s our Lord and Messiah, He didn’t act like you’d think a Messiah would. He was… humble. I want them to know that He laughed and sang like any other person.” She laughed. “Do you remember His singing?”

                “I try to forget it.” He smirked. “The only thing He couldn’t do was keep a tune.”

                “But when He spoke the Scriptures, it was beautiful.” She smiled wistfully. “You know-“

                “Don’t you dare go off on another tangent. Aren’t you itching to retell me the most embarrassing story of my life?”

                “Trust me, it’s not the most embarrassing.”

                “Ruth!”

                “Yes, I’ll tell you now!”  

__________________________________________________________________________

                Ruth wanted to find Jesus and tell Him that John and James were being annoying. When the high priest, Gershon, came to the house, she had the perfect opportunity to do so.

                “I would like to deliver an invitation to your Rabbi in person,” Gershon said, “to read the books of Moses in synagogue.”

                “That sounds great!” Ruth said, eager to have two reasons for looking for Jesus. “I’ll go tell Him and then get you all. He’s on a walk right now.”

                “Why are you going to get Him?” Simon squinted.

                “Because I run very fast.”

                “Fine. You go ahead, and once you find Him we’ll follow you.”  

                 “Fine, then.” She lifted her chin in defiance for no discernable reason. “Shalom, everyone.”

                She left the house and came into the busy markets of Sychar. The market burst with color and light, and she adored it, but it was almost impossible to find anyone. Seek, and you will find. Easier said than done.

                “Pardon,” she asked a fruit seller, “have you seen Jesus of Nazareth?”

                “Seen Him?!” the man gesticulated as he spoke, excitement oozing off every word, “I actually spoke to Him! He asked me the best walking paths in Sychar, and I was glad to oblige.”

                “I’m one of His followers. Which walking path did He take?”

                “So, you’ll turn left at Eirene’s booth…”

                A couple minutes later, she was running down the dirt path, wind whipping through her hair. She had to keep her hand on her veil to keep it from falling off. She saw Jesus standing at a crossroads, where He seemed to be waiting for something. “Rabbi!” she called, but He didn’t hear. “R-“

                Voices came from the hill behind her. “Let’s just have Jesus sort it out,” Big James reassured his brother, “I’m sure He’ll agree with our plan.” You have got to be kidding me! Ruth hid behind a bush, watching the brothers as they walked past. It took you that long to find Him?

                “Rabbi?” John called louder than she had, and Jesus turned around. “May we speak with You?”  

                As the two went up to Jesus, a group of Samaritans walked by on the road opposite them. The group immediately turned, glaring at them. Their leader stepped forward and said with bared teeth, “What are you Jews doing here?”

                Big James began, “Listen-“

                “This is our shalom to you!” They picked up stones and began to throw them. AAH! Ruth hid further behind the bush, her dress touching the ground. When the coast was clear, she peeked. No one seemed hurt, but John and James were like a hollow piece in a hot kiln, ready to explode.

                John grew red. “You dogs! You have no right to stone us. Do you know who we are?!” If Ruth hadn’t been terrified, the whole scene would’ve been comical. Jesus had to physically hold back John with His left arm and James with His right.

                “You are Jews, and you don’t belong here!” The Samaritans heckled, and even Ruth’s face was getting red. You are speaking to the One sent from God! “Go back from whence you came!”

                Big James shouted back, “Return to the slop from which you were born!”

                Jesus gritted His teeth and said, “Quiet.”

                The leader of the group spit on John. John ignored Jesus’s warning and said full of malice, “Curse you all! Every one of you filthy Samaritans!”

                “I said quiet.”

                As the Samaritans walked away, the brothers turned toward Jesus. John said, “They can’t do that to You! You could’ve been seriously injured!” That’s true, they can’t do that. They should be arrested! How dare they attack our Messiah?! He said, baring his teeth, “Lord, rain fire down from Heaven on these people! Let the wicked be punished!” Well, that’s a little severe.

                Big James agreed, “Yes, fire from the heavens! Engulf Your enemies in flames!” Yeah, somehow I don’t think Jesus is going to agree with that. “These Samaritans think that they can do that to You! Show them that they can’t!”

                Jesus gave the brothers the ultimate look of disappointment. Even though Ruth didn’t see it from her vantage point, she could feel it. “Do you know why I had you plow that field for Melech?” They could give no answer. “Do you think it was to show you better farming techniques?” Again, they could give no answer. “It was to show you that what we are doing here in Samaria will last for generations. What I told Photina at the well, and what she told many others- it is sowing seeds that will last for generations! My work belongs just as much to the Samaritans as it does to the Jews.

 Do you not see what is happening here? This renewal is taking place among these people you hate! They believe My words and they have secure faith in Me without ever having seen Me!” He continued, agitation growing in His voice, “You really want to interfere with that just because a couple people on the road today were mean to us? Because you think they are not worthy? Are you more worthy then they are?” He paused, looking at them a long time. “No. That’s the point. That’s why I’m here.”

Big James finally spoke up, looking toward the ground. “I’m sorry.”

                “I’m sorry, Rabbi.” John added.

                Jesus sighed, “As we reach others, I need you to help show the way. To be humble. Can you do that for Me?”

                “We will,” They both agreed.

                He paused, then said more slowly, “You wanted to use the power of God to rain fire down on these people.”

                “It sounds really bad when you put it that way.” John rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

                He put His arms around them and turned around, away from the path. “You are like the sea on a stormy day, thunder rolling across it.” He paused, then smiled, “That’s what I’ll call you. The Sons of Thunder.”

                “…Is that a good thing?”

                “Today, it was not. But passion is good, if it is directed for righteousness. Though,” He smiled, “I may have to hold off on that authority I promised. Or give it in smaller doses.”

                The rest of the disciples walked toward Jesus, Gershon in the middle of them. Oh no, I forgot! Simon began with a chiding tone, “Ruth, you didn’t run back and tell us where Jesus was. We had to go all over the city trying to find Him.”

                Ruth elbowed him and said in a hushed whisper, “What do you mean, Simon? I’ve been with you the whole time. I was just in the back.”

                Simon sighed. “You’re lying, obviously. I’m not supporting it.” He turned away for a long time, his arms crossed. Finally, he whispered, “Well, what did they talk about?”

                She figured John and James wouldn’t want their conversation broadcasted, at least not yet. “Not telling. But I will say,” she added with a mischievous grin, “that I think the Sons of Thunder are going to be much less annoying after today.”

                 “The who?”

                Gershon stepped toward Jesus, “Rabbi, it would be an honor to have You read the law of Moses at synagogue.”

                Jesus beamed. “It would be an honor to do so.”

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                At synagogue, Ruth stood with the women. She had never really liked synagogue- thought it was boring. The leader of the synagogue usually read the text in a monotone voice and then gave a sermon about something confusing. Numerous times as a child, she had fallen asleep there. But somehow, she felt today would be different.

                Jesus began as He set the scroll on the table, “A word from the first book of Moses.” Ruth heard rustling behind her, and she turned. Melech and his family stood at the door, and Melech walked without a crutch! She grinned and ushered them toward the front. “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth was formless and void…”

                It seemed like she was hearing an anecdote, not a verse from Torah. Jesus spoke the words like He had been there. Well, was He? She hadn’t considered this. Of course, she knew that the Messiah was sent from God… but had He been with God since the beginning? Well, why wouldn’t He be? Wouldn’t a Son be with His Father? Her view of Jesus changed as she thought about this. My Rabbi seems so normal. It doesn’t seem possible that He’s seen all of history. She looked at His face and remembered the power she had felt when she first met Him. His miracles seemed more amazing now. Who is This, really? Who is He? And who am I, that He has chosen me? She blinked tears from her eyes. The Son of God chose me. That’s… well, I don’t know what it is.  

                “And God saw that it was very good.” Jesus finished reading.

Chapter Text

                At this point, Ruth didn’t even know where they were. She had stopped comprehending Matthew’s map long before this. But, as she sat in camp, she knew that she was having loads of fun.

                Mary was trying to teach her to weave one-handed, using her right hand as a brace and her left hand as her working hand. Safe to say, it wasn't really working. Ruth recalled her endless “days in Capernaum’s sun”. Nah, this is better. She looked up- the men were coming back with the firewood. Another, unfamiliar man came from the opposite direction, from the wilderness. She tapped Mary's shoulder, “Hey, someone’s coming.” 

                Mary stopped her work and looked up. “Maybe it’s someone who wishes to be healed.”

                “Probably.” She turned to Andrew, who was de-shelling nuts for their dinner. “Hey, who do you think this guy is?”

\              Andrew squinted at the horizon. “I don’t know, is that-“ He got up with a grin. “It’s Philip!”

                “Wait, who’s Philip?” Andrew didn’t listen to her, running and wrapping Philip in a hug. Ruth and Mary swiftly followed, greeting the newcomer.

                They walked Philip back to camp, while Simon ran to the well to get their visitor a cup of water. Ruth wanted to ask Philip all the questions about everything ever. Why did Andrew never mention him? Did he follow John the Baptist- whom Simon called ‘creepy John’? Why was he here? Philip, to her dismay, promptly leaned against a tent pole and fell asleep.

                Simon came back from the well and looked at him. “I’ve been gone five minutes! Philip!” He spoke loudly and leaned down. “Phiiiiilip! Philip!” He handed a drowsy Philip the cup.

                “Thank you,” Philip smiled, and it was a well-loved, often-used smile. “You never know when you’ll get sleep, or clean water. When they are presented, you should take advantage of them.” He took a long swig of the cup.

                Ruth squinted, “Sounds like you’re in a war out there with creepy J-“

                “With John the Baptizer.” Simon interrupted. Why are you being all high-and-mighty? You’ve always referred to him as creepy John. He’s John! He’s creepy! He eats bugs!

                “Not war,” Philip shook his head. “War has rules.”

                Matthew came back from his search for firewood. Simon asked abruptly, “Did you find anything?”

                “No, sorry.” Matthew looked away.

                “Where did you look?”

                “A mile east. The ravine.”

                “The ravine?! All the wood there is wet.” He scoffed.  

                “Yes, I discovered that.”

                Simon rolled his eyes with a sardonic smile. “That’s Matthew. He looks in the ravines for firewood. And-“

                Ruth interrupted, “That’s Simon. He’s boring. He also forgets to consider that some of us didn’t grow up learning how to look for firewood. I sure didn’t.” Mary put a warning hand on her shoulder.

                “That’s Ruth. She doesn’t know how to be polite. And she forgets that after months on the road, firewood collecting is a skill someone should have picked up.” Andrew glared at Simon. Ruth began to speak, but Mary tilted her head. Ruth sighed, crossed her arms, and fell silent. Simon muttered, needing to have the last word, “Matthew probably fishes in the desert, too.” He laughed. It took every bone in Ruth’s body to stay silent, but it was worth it. No one said a word for a while, and the tension grew tenfold. Maybe I should try this quiet thing more often.

                Philip nodded, turning to Matthew, “Good work. It is a good starting point that you are willing to look. If you like, I can teach you more.” I think I like this Philip. He seems alright.

                “That is kind of you. I will consider it.” Matthew looked toward the ground, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

                He stood up. “And this-“ He pointed to himself, “is Philip, the guy who dries wood. Now, if only we had some weapons, we could dry it in the manner of Ezekiel.” He grinned. Ruth did not understand anything he said.

                “How did Ezekiel dry his wood?” he tilted his head. He grabbed his stylus and book, ready to take notes if needed.

                Simon scoffed. “Are you kidding me?! How did Ezekiel-“

                Philip ignored him, “The prophecy of Gog and Magog. About the weapons.” The whole group of men- besides Matthew- began to recite a prophecy, and Ruth had no idea what it was about. Why would you burn weapons? That seems wasteful, honestly. He got up and gestured for Matthew to follow him. “Come on, then.” He spoke to the rest, “Keep the fire going.”

                The group stayed silent for a long time. Simon said when Philip was out of earshot, “I think that Philip guy is bad news.”

                Ruth groaned, as she went back to her weaving, “Of course you do, he showed you up.”

                “That is not the reason! Forgive me for not trusting any random man who comes crawling out of the wilderness!”

                “Fine, then.” She spat, “you’re forgiven.”

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                 “So,” Ruth sat by the fire and grilled Philip when he came back, “what was it like traveling with creepy John?” She felt the glare of a particular bar Jonah on her back. She turned to see which one happened to be mad at her right now. “What?”

                 “He’s not creepy,” Andrew said through gritted teeth. “and his name is John the Baptizer.”

                 “Well, John the Baptizer eats bugs, doesn’t comb his hair, and lives in the woods. I say he’s creepy.”

                 “You just get all that from Simon, and Simon’s wrong.”

                 “I do not!” She crossed her arms and turned back to Philip. She clarified in a clipped tone, “I do not get my opinions from Simon. He’s wrong about a lot of stuff, he’s probably wrong about this guy too.”

                 Philip chuckled. “To answer your original question, I think John is probably someone you’d call interesting.”

                 At this, Ruth perked up. “Interesting? Interesting how?”

                “Well, let’s just say that a day with him was never boring.”

                “Not boring? How? Tell me!”

                “He preached to crowds and encouraged them to get baptized in the name of the Spirit of God.”

                “The Spirit of God? Like…” she racked her brain, “the Spirit of God that comes on the people in the Tanakh that God favored?”

                “Yes, I think that’s what he was referring to. Good one, Ruth.” He contemplated further, while Ruth absolutely beamed at the compliment. “I haven’t really wrapped my head around what ‘being baptized in the name of the Spirit of God’ means. Anyway, John also spoke of Jesus’s coming.”

                “Really?” she scooched closer to the fire, engrossed. “I just thought he’s a weird- sorry! - prophet who wanders the wilderness.”

                Philip laughed, “He is a weird prophet who wanders the wilderness. He just speaks of things that are relevant. You know the prophecy in Isaiah, about the voice in the wilderness?”

                “…the what?”

                “A voice cries in the wilderness,” Andrew began with excitement, “’Prepare the way of Adonai, make straight in the desert a highway for our God.”

                Philip picked the verses up, “Every valley shall be lifted up, every mountain and hill be made low, the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain.”

                “And the glory of Adonai shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together, for the mouth of Adonai has spoken.”

                “Alright, okay, voice crying in the wilderness. And so…” Ruth waved her hand in a ‘please continue’ gesture. She had no idea what was going on, but didn’t want to say it outright.

                “And so, John is that voice! He came to prepare us for Jesus’s coming. His teaching and prophesying helped ready us for when Jesus’s ministry started.”

                “Wow, that’s…” she tried to wrap her head around these new discoveries, and almost didn’t fail. “Really awesome. You never told me that you followed a guy like that!”

                “It never came up,” He shrugged.

                “Well, it should have!”

                “You never told me about your stealing your dowry.”

                “Oh, come on!” she rolled her eyes, “so… if John was preparing the way for Jesus, and you were following John, did you know that Jesus is the Messiah? Is that why, at the beach, you seemed like you know who He was?”

                “That is why. In fact, I bet you’d like the story of the first time I saw H-“

                “How did you meet? Did you speak to Him? Did He do a miracle? Was it awesome?”

                “I’m going to answer all of these questions if you let me tell the story!”

                “Sorry, sorry! It’s just exciting! I didn’t know you were this cool!” Andrew gave her a look that said he wouldn’t tell the story if she didn’t stop talking. “Sorry. I’ll be quiet now. Sorry.”

                “So, John was by the river baptizing and yelling at Pharisees. You know, the usual.”

                “John the Baptist yells at Pharisees? And it’s usual?” She grinned.

                “Yes, yes.” Philip added. “Once he called them a ‘brood of vipers.’ Anyway, John stood by the river, baptizing hundreds. Then Jesus came and stood at the water and asked John to baptize Him. John was amazed. He proclaimed, ‘Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!’” Oh, so that’s where the whole Lamb of God thing comes from.  

                “The Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world.” She tried out the words on her lips and liked them. “Wait, why did He want to be baptized? Didn’t He already have the Spirit of God, since He’s the Son of God?”

                “We’re… not sure.” Andrew answered. “Even John wasn’t sure. He said to Jesus, ‘Lord, I am not even fit to untie your sandals! You should baptize me!’ But Jesus insisted. So Jesus stepped into the water, and when He came out of the water the clouds opened up, a dove flew down and perched on His head, and a voice came from the heavens, ‘This is my Son, with whom I am well pleased.’ Then everything became normal again, like nothing crazy had happened.”

                “That’s… amazing.” I knew in my heart that He is the Son of God. But now I know in my head!

                “And that’s when I knew that He’s the Messiah. I mean, a normal person can’t do that!” He said with a laugh.

                “Certainly not.” She pondered the story for a couple minutes, then said, “Philip, I like you. You’re friends with Andrew, which automatically gives you a good reputation in my book.”

               “Thank you,” Philip nodded.

               “And you’re also friends with Matthew, which I also like. You walked with him. That means you’re friends, right?” She gave him a look, which darkened her normally bright-green eyes. This look said very loudly that saying ‘no’ was not an option.

               “Yes,” he said with an amused smile. “And we had a very good conversation as we walked.”

               “Good. Matthew needs more friends. I re-counted, and he only has six friends, since Simon, Andrew, Thomas, John, and James apparently aren’t.” she gave Andrew a quick glare, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that, by the way. Anyway,” she turned back to Philip and regained her cheerful disposition, “with you he’ll have seven friends, and I suppose seven will have to be enough.”

               “Seven good friends are worth more than twenty bad ones.”

               “Exactly! See, I knew I liked you.” She turned her whole body toward him, leaning forward eagerly. “Could you tell me more about John the Baptizer while you wait for Jesus to come back? Like, what else did he say? Where does he come from? How does he know Jesus? Is he a prophet like Elijah? Is he Elijah?”

               “Which question do you want me to answer?” Philip raised his brows. “I have many tales, and I’m happy to tell any of them.”

               “Hm, pick one at random.”

               When Philip was done with his story, Matthew came by and sat by the fire. “Hello,” He began, clearly waiting for something.

               “Hiya!” Ruth grinned. She glanced at the crackling flames, and the stripped wood that fed them. “Who did all this?”

               “Philip and I.”

               “Wow,” She looked down at the wood, genuinely impressed. “You? Manual labor?”

               “I am trying many new things.”

              “Good for you!” she turned around and started a lively conversation with Ramah about their first times pitching a tent. Mary soon came and sat by the fire. Ruth certainly didn’t miss how Matthew glanced at Mary as she sat, his doe eyes full of admiration.

               The shy man bit his lip and sat in silence. When a lull finally came in all the activity, he spoke up, “Would you like to hear a joke?”

               “A…joke?” Ramah squinted. Ruth discreetly shoved her, and she nodded quickly, “Sure, go ahead!”

               “Well, I have a vegetable joke.” He paused so long crickets started chirping. “However, it is corny.”

                Surprised, Ruth laughed. “That was a good one! You’ll have to tell jokes more often. You’re funny.”

               “Philip taught me it.” he nodded, then seemed to grasp the last part of her statement. “You… think I’m humorous?”  

               “Yeah! Here’s another one to add to your arsenal. What do grapes do when they get upset? They wine!” He looked befuddled. “We’ll work on what it means later. In the meantime, just say it, and people will probably think it’s funny.”

                Mary added, “One of my favorites is, ‘What did the clover say to the goat who tried to eat it? Leaf me alone!” Matthew grinned. There’s no favoritism here whatsoever, I’m sure. She stifled her laugh as he pulled out his notebook and wrote the joke down. Hey, mine was good too.

                “Ooh, that’s a good one.”   

                “This has been very enjoyable. Thank you.” He closed his little notebook and left.

                 As soon as Matthew was out of earshot, Ruth said to Philip, “Corny? Really? That was so unfunny it turned around and became funny.”

                “Hey,” He raised his hands with a grin. “I learned that one from my abba! Besides, Matthew has to start somewhere. Abba jokes are the easiest to understand. Plus, your joke was about as bad.”

                “Honestly, yeah. I just wanted to continue the trend of fruit-and-vegetable puns you had going.” She winked, “Puns are just the root of your joke problem, you need to branch out. Turn over a new leaf.”

                 He threw back his head and laughed. “Now, that was corny.”

Chapter Text

               The next morning, they packed up their camp, ready to head to Caesarea Philippi. Ruth had been there a couple times before, when her abba went on business trips. The entire city was situated around a mountain range, so that the residential area was on one side of the mountains and the temples of the Caesarea Philippians were on the other side. She had only ever seen the residential side- because certainly, she, her abba, and their entire tribe of Dan would fall into everlasting ruin if her eyes glimpsed the pagan temples. From the rumors of Batta and the other wandering shepherds, Ruth figured those temples were one thing she could live without knowing about.

                She saw Philip was still at their camp, munching on berries happily. “So, are you with us now?”

                He nodded. “Yep.”

                “That’s good. I like you.”  

                Philip finished his breakfast and went the other men. While it was fun to see Simon squirm in Philip’s presence, Ruth had different plans. She skipped toward Mary and Ramah, who were talking about stories from Ramah’s time as a vintner. Once the camp was broken, they walked along the road, chattering joyfully as they went.

                In their conversations, they eventually got to the topic of reading. “My abba read me stories when I was a little girl,” Ramah said, “but I never learned how to read them myself.”

                “Really?” Ruth asked. “How do you become a vintner without knowing how to read?”

                She shrugged. “I suppose you don’t need to know how to read to make wine.”

                “That’s true. You know, I wish I knew more of the Scriptures- more than just Torah. That’s all my abba ever read to me. I want to know about King David and his adventures,” she grinned as she mimed a slingshot, “did you know he killed a Philistine giant?”

                “I would like to know some of the same things,” Ramah bobbed her head with excitement, “Saul and David and Elijah and Daniel!”  

                Mary contemplated, “My abba taught me a bit of Torah. But I also would like to be able to recite the prophecies, like the men did yesterday. I would like to have Scripture memorized so I can call upon it in time of need.”

                “And I would like to read it!” She added with a laugh.

                “I can read, I’d be able to teach you to read and write.” Mary paused, with a frown on her face. “But I do not think we have money for a tablet and writing utensil.”  

                A flame of an idea lit in Ruth’s head. “I bet we could ask Matthew.” Of course he’d say yes to you, Mary.

                “Are you sure?” she tilted her head with concern. “His materials are very important to him.”

                “Yes, but he’s a kind person. I am sure he’d let us borrow one if it is for a worthy cause.”

                She nodded, determined. “Then, let us go ask him.” The women walked faster to catch up to Matthew. They formed a triangle around Matthew, Ruth in the front walking backwards so she could face him.

                “Good morning to you!” Ruth said with a giant grin.

                “Uhm,” Matthew glanced with slight suspicion at the triangle of women that had formed around him, “Hello.”

                “We’ve got a favor to ask of you.” Ruth nodded at Mary to continue.

                Mary said, “Could we borrow a tablet?”

                He began to nod eagerly but then paused. “Did… Simon put you up to this?”  

                Ruth scoffed out a laugh. “Simon! Even if I lived ten times as long as Methuselah, I would never once take an order from Simon.”

                 “To put it plainly-“ Mary gave a gentle, but still pointed, look at Ruth, “-and less harshly, no. I am going to teach Ramah how to read.”

                “Oh.” Matthew considered this. “Okay.”

                Ramah burst with excitement, “We want to study Torah!”

                “And the stories!” Ruth added, with even more excitement.

                At this, Matthew finally smiled. “That is what I want to do as well.”

                “They do not allow women in bet midrash. I do not know how we will access the scrolls.” Mary explained.

                “I could copy them for you!” 

                “Matthew,” She said with a smile, “Thank you, but they are very long.”

                “Well, we could ask Philip what the most important parts are, and I’ll copy that.”

                “I’m pretty sure it’s all important. And to be honest, we don’t even know where to start. I don’t think any of us have done something like this before.”

                Matthew bobbed his head eagerly, “I can ask Philip where to start!”

                Mary smiled at Matthew’s high praise of the newcomer. She tilted her head, “Why Philip?”

                “He is my friend, as are all of you.”

                This struck Ruth. “Matthew, are we and Philip the only ones?” If we are, I’m going to have to threaten some people.

                He did not answer her question, glancing to the brambles on the side of the path. “I will go talk to Philip now.” He left their group without another word.

                Ruth began, a deep frown on her face, “Do you think we’re really his only-“

               Thomas came up, and her voice died down in her throat. She shot a quick glare at the man, to which he paid no attention. He asked, “Everything alright up here?”

                “Yes,” Ramah smiled. “Ruth, Mary, and I are going to study Torah with Matthew.”

                “Matthew?” He let out a surprised laugh. “Matthew doesn’t know anything about Torah.”

                “How do you know what Matthew knows?” Ramah asked sweetly.

                “Well, uhm…” he trailed off, seeing Ramah’s eyebrows twitch slightly. “Ramah, you do not read.” And everyone was shocked by this revelation.

                “Yes, that is why Mary will teach me.” She smiled, “It’s not like we’re trying to be teachers or anything. We just want to know more, that’s it.” A prolonged period of awkward silence went between the group. “Wow, whoever’s at the cart looks tired. Who is there?”

                “Jesus is. I wouldn’t have let Him, but He insisted. And I don’t think He’s tired.” You let Jesus push the cart?! Ruth looked with shock at the sight. Jesus pushed the cart, laughing, talking, and generally being at ease. He was a carpenter’s Son, after all- used to hard labor and carrying heavy loads. Thomas, my disdain for you only grows.

                “You know,” Thomas continued. He completely ignored Ruth’s stricken look, turning toward Ramah, “if you have any questions, you can always ask me.”

                “But we weren’t asking you.” Ruth muttered. Ramah elbowed her, none too subtly.

                “I know, thank you for offering.” Ramah smiled back at Thomas. She nodded and turned back to Mary, thinking the conversation was over.  

                “I would be happy to answer any questions.” Thomas grinned. “If you need anything, I’m here.”

                She looked back, “Oh, of course. Thank you, Thomas. I appreciate it.” Mary desperately tried to hold in a giggle.  

                Ruth thought that if she rolled her eyes anymore, they would get stuck that way. She picked at a flower as they walked, desperately bored. Suddenly, a memory came to her head. I knew Eden, before she and Simon were betrothed. And before that, when she was around Simon... she glanced at Ramah, whose big brown eyes filled with admiration in the sunshine. She had the exact same look on her face as Eden did in Ruth's memory. Oh, no. Does this mean- well, I don't know what it means for them in particular just yet. But it means... her throat closed up at this realization, I'll have to put up with Thomas! And probably even pretend to like him! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhh. Fine. I'll be polite, for Ramah's sake. This will be the greatest hardship I've ever faced... besides a lot of other things... but I'll do my best to power through it. 

                Ruth raised her head, determined to set upon her new quest. She sent a quick smile toward the man, “So, Thomas. What did you do back in…. Cana?”

                “Actually, Ramah and I hail from Tel Dor.” Thomas nodded distractedly, immediately turning back to his conversation with Ramah. You- I- did he just-! Her brow furrowed in frustration. She immediately abandoned her noble struggle and fixed a permanent glare in his direction. After a couple minutes, he looked at her, “Sorry, I got distracted. To answer your question, I managed the numbers for Ramah and her father’s wine business.” Ruth said absolutely nothing in response. “Ooookay, then.”

                Andrew happened to look back. Ruth’s glare, while sweeping the path, reached his eyes. His eyes widened and his mouth turned deeply into a frown. No, I’m not glaring at you. It’s Thomas! He’s driving me crazy! He shook his head back and forth. I’m good, I don’t need saving. I’ll have to learn to like him anyway, if Ramah likes him. At this, Andrew was confused, his eyes squinting and palms going up in a ‘what’ motion.

                Thomas- Ruth gestured to Thomas in a wide, sweeping motion, and Ramah! She moved her arms over to Ramah. He shrugged, still having no idea what was going on. Thomas! And-!

                “What are you doing?” Ramah asked, holding back her giggles. Our cover’s been blown! Just… nevermind! Eventually, Thomas finally left their group, going off and talking with the men.

                “Whew,” Ruth blew a sigh of relief as she saw the back of his colored coat. Her eyes darted to Ramah, “Sorry! It’s just that Thomas’s behavior is very…” Over-the-top? Rude? Agonizing? “Protective! I suppose I'm not used to it.”  

                Mary directed a tiny knowing smile to Ruth, “Protective, indeed. Kafni charged him to protect his friend, and he takes that mission with seriousness.”

                Ramah grinned. “Well, even I must admit, sometimes it gets a little too much for me.” She put on a joking tone, “Yes, Thomas, I know that you know things about Torah. I just decided to ask for Matthew’s help. You do not need to throw him into the sea.” The group laughed uproariously.

                “Boo!” a pair of sparkling hazel eyes filled with mischief popped through the nearby bushes. All the women stumbled back, squealing. The person to whom the pair of eyes belonged stepped gingerly out of the bushes, laughing all the while. This person had a head full of messy black hair and a mustache that tried and failed to make him look older.  “Scared ya, didn’t I?” John asked with a goading grin.

                “Aren’t you supposed to be walking to Syria right now?” Ruth crossed her arms, unimpressed. His lips pursed into a straight line, and he shrugged. “John!”

                “I’m putting it off. I’m pra…pro… puncturing?”   

                “Procrastinating!”

                “Yeah, that.”

                “Well, stop doing it. At this rate, you’re going to have to run to Syria.”

                Eventually, John did run to Syria. The main group got closer and closer to the fantastic mountains of Caesarea Philippi. The sight always filled Ruth with a thrill. If we have time, I should see if I can borrow parchment and ink and… and draw those mountains. Well, she sighed, biting the inside of her cheek, I suppose it’s enough to see them.

                Philip explained as they got closer, “One of my friends lives here. Jesus gave me permission to visit him, after He preaches.”

                “Does he also follow John the Baptist?” Ruth asked, as always bursting with curiosity.

                “No, he’s an architect in the city here.”

                “An architect!” she cherished the word. “Where do you get all these interesting friends?”

                “I’ve been many places.” He shrugged.

                “You should see if your architect friend wants to come with us.”

                At this, Philip burst into a grin. “That was my plan exactly.”

                In the city, Jesus spoke for hours. He drew quite a crowd, who were completely silent as He spoke. Matthew took short notes on everything. When the group found someone’s house and took over their dining room, Philip disappeared. A couple of hours later, he came back with the architect. This man dressed in bright blue and yellow clothing, reminding Ruth of a bright bird. He came into the room, his eyes red from crying the tears of the recently redeemed.  

                “Jesus?” Ruth asked knowingly.

                He wiped his face with his short blue sleeve. “Does He do that a lot?”

                “All the time,” Big James raised his cup in acknowledgment. “Come, friend, sit. What’s your name?”

                “Nathanael.” He took a seat near Thaddeus, placing an elbow on the wooden table. “Very big group you have here.”

                “Still growing,” Thaddeus observed. “And bound to grow more.”

                At this point, John ran in, his forehead sticky with sweat. He breathed heavily, “I’ve just arrived from Syria!” he leaned against the table, apparently waiting for something. “Well, don’t you want to know why I’m in such a rush?”

                “We thought you’d tell us.”  Simon chuckled wryly.

                “A hundred are already waiting for us in Syria! I asked Jesus, and He said we should leave first thing in the morning.”

                “Wow,” Ramah squinted in tiredness, “but we just got here.”

                “That’s how fast our message is spreading! So, we all need to wake up at dawn to be ready in time.”

                “Dawn,” Ruth forced herself to be excited about the prospect. She turned to Nathanael, “so, are you ready for our Syriac adventure?”

                “No,” Nathanael responded frankly. “But I think it’ll be enjoyable.”

Chapter Text

After a four-hour walk, they finally made it to camp in Syria. Ruth thought she would lay down and die right then, and if not die, then take a long nap. That was until she heard voices coming from beyond the tree line. She crept to the edge of camp and took a peek. A line of people stretched as far as she could see, all waiting to be healed by Jesus. Her energy immediately returned as Jesus climbed into the small stall that had been placed at the end of the line. She sat down, hidden by the trees, and watched.

                “I’ve been healed!” A woman cried as she saw for the first time.

                “Praise Adonai!” A man shouted as he threw his crutch into the field, never to be used again.

                “God is good to me, and to my descendants!” Parents cheered as their child was healed of leprosy. 

                It was great, it was exhilarating! And yet… for some reason Ruth felt sad as she watched. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I’m tired. It can’t be for lack of entertainment, because I’m having great fun watching these people. She grinned as a two-year-old waved at her, able to use his hands for the first time.

                Oh, that’s why. She looked down at her hand. You. I had almost forgotten about you; with how much fun I’ve been having. She looked back at the line, knowing Jesus was going to heal all these people and probably more. Why can’t He heal me? I would just be one of the many He healed today.

                Matthew and Philip stopped by her, done with their shift. Matthew looked down at her as she sat cross-legged on the ground. “You have been here on-and-off for several hours.”

                Ruth nodded. “I know. It’s been fun just to watch. One of the perks of being a woman- I get to watch, without doing any of the work.” She looked past the men to a leper, grinning as the white slowly faded from his skin.

                Philip groaned good-naturedly. “Lucky. I’ve been pacing back and forth keeping people happy for hours.”

                She laughed, then turned to Matthew, “Have you written anything down?” A seven-year-old stood up from his stretcher.  

                At this, Matthew frowned. “All the people have been too excited for me to get any solid reports.”

                “Well, I think that’s a good thing. Look at that," she glanced over at the clearing. Someone had pulled out a tambourine, and those newly healed and those waiting to be healed danced and sung with joy. Strangers and friends came together in a mesh of people who all had one thing in common- her Rabbi. "I think that's better than any solid report." She continued to stare, completely ignoring Philip and Matthew. 

                Philip gestured toward camp. “Sun’s going down. Why don’t you come back?” Ruth didn’t move from her spot, her eyes fixed on the woman with a withered hand. Jesus took her hand, prayed over it, and it was healed. Just like that. “I’m sure there will be hundreds more people here tomorrow.” She still didn’t move, watching the woman roll her right wrist and stretch out her fingers. “Please?”

                Ruth groaned and stood up, forcing her eyes away from the scene. “Alright, then. Only because you asked nicely.” She walked to the fire and wrapped her veil around her body to ward off the coming chill. Most of the apostles gathered around the fire, making conversation. “I think today was great fun!” Ruth interjected as she grabbed a small piece of naan and munched on it. She sat down, lapping up the warmth of the flames.

                Big James raised a brow with a small smile. “Fun? You call waking at dawn, walking four hours, setting up camp, and then immediately being set upon by crowds of people waiting for Jesus fun?”

                “Yes!”  

                “Maybe not fun, but good. This has grown beyond just us.” Philip beamed.

                “I never expected it to be like this,” Mary contemplated, “I’ve been here from the beginning. When it was just Thaddeus, Little James, Jesus, and I, I only focused on our small circle. It never entered my mind that we would have such… reach.” She laughed, “Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised anymore.”   

                John asked, “I’m curious, if you were told when you were younger that you’d be following the Messiah, what would you have said?”

               “I’d say, ‘Sorry, I’m a girl. Go ask my brother.’” Ramah answered. 

                “Fair, fair. But really, what would you have thought? Was your idea like what we have now?”

                “Well, when I was little, I used to imagine that the Romans broke into my house. And I hid with a knife under the bed,” her brown eyes glinted with mischievousness in the firelight, “And just when the Romans were about to get me, Messiah would come save me.”

                Big James answered enthusiastically, “I’d say, ‘Hold on, let me go get my sword!’ I used to wish that the Messiah would kill all the Romans on my street. And I’d help. I used to practice with a wooden sword.”

                His brother chuckled and held up his elbow, showing a scar. “And this shows that he was rather good!”

                “I didn’t think about it much. I didn’t think I’d be chosen for it, because I have little military experience. That is still a problem, actually.” Thomas contemplated.

                Everyone thought about their answers for a moment. Everyone expects Jesus to do a military takeover. But is He actually going to do it? John piped up, “I thought we’d be doing less watching Him heal people. Are we going to do this for the next five years? The next ten? They’re never going to stop coming, you know. Not when word has traveled this fast. Will we ever get to the fighting bit?”

                “I want to do this forever,” Ruth retorted. “I could do without the ‘fighting bit’.”

                “Yeah, because you’re a girl. Of course you don’t want to fight. Even if it meant restoring Israel to its former glory.”  

                “You know what, I-”

                Mary quickly spoke over her, “As for me, I haven’t had any expectations. I guess it’s been easier for me, that way. I do not remember much about what I thought of the Messiah when I was young. Why do you expect a warrior?”  

                “Zechariah.” Thomas said simply. Thank you, that explains so much. He continued, reciting yet another prophecy that Ruth didn’t know, “’The nations will gather against Jerusalem, and I will fight them as I do in battle. The Mount of Olives-‘“

                “Yes, yes, the Mount of Olives will be split in two,” Philip interrupted, raising a hand, “and all this craziness. We do not even know if that will happen within our lifetime!”

                “But the Messiah is here! I do not see why it wouldn’t.”

                John but in, “Here’s another thing I don’t get. Isn’t the Messiah supposed to come at a time when all is holy? At least,” He turned to his brother, “that’s what you’ve been saying.”

                Big James nodded. “It’s a prophetic poem from some rabbis. ‘And they will be holy, and the Lord Messiah will be their king.’”  

                “I guess that’s why the Pharisees don’t think He’s the one.”

                Mary replied, “I do not think He is here because we are holy, but because we can’t be holy without Him.” That was really cool.

                Philip grinned. “That’s a good line. John would like that one.”

                “I do like it!” John argued.

                “The other one.”

                Little James came in, out of breath. “Big James! They need your help with crowd control. People were bickering, and some were getting physical. And you know I’m not much help with that.”

                “Are you serious?” Big James jumped up quickly.

                “Yes, already a fight has broken out.”

                Ruth raised her hand. “I could help!”

                 “No.” The whole group responded at once.

                Big James began to walk away, following Little James. He turned around and grinned, “I may have to use my sword on them before the Romans!”

                The conversation eventually dwindled, and Ruth stood up. As soon as she got on her feet, Ramah grabbed her sleeve, almost knocking both of them over. “Sorry! But Philip gave Matthew our first verse!” She practically dragged her over to Matthew, who stood by the women’s tent with a piece of papyrus. Mary read from his side, trying to make out the words.

                “Hello,” Matthew greeted, his eyes focused on the papyrus.

                “So?” Ramah asked. “What did Philip say?”

                “Philip said that this is the part we must know first before any other.” They went silent, listening carefully. “If I ascend to Heaven, You are with me, if I make my bed in the depths, You are with me.” They repeated the verse a couple times. Matthew tilted his head after a couple repetitions. “I do not entirely grasp its meaning. I do not intend to ascend to Heaven or make my bed in the depths.”

                Ruth shrugged. “Well, even if you did, God would be with you anyway.”

                “I suppose that is true.”

                As she tried to help prepare a late dinner, a kind-looking woman walked into their camp. Mary ran to her. “It’s so good to see you!” Who is this woman? The disciples gathered around her, grinning. She looks like she could be someone’s eema.  

                Thaddeus introduced them, “Mary, this is Matthew. He was not with us at the wedding.” Hey, what about me, Ramah, and Nathanael? We’re standing here too. I want to be introduced to this woman.

                “Shalom,” The woman named Mary said. Another Mary? Where have I heard that name before… oh! Jesus’s eema! She gestured to Matthew, “Fine clothing.”

                “Uhm, thank you.” Matthew nodded, unsure whether to take the statement as a compliment.

                “They’re very nice, what do you do?”

                “I- I don’t-“

                Mary, the one Ruth knew, stepped in. “He’s a new student. Jesus called him about… three weeks ago?”

                “Yes.”

                Mother Mary smiled. “How lovely. I am sure you are someone special, then. Was today a long day?”

                “The longest,” Big James gave a good-natured groan, “But it was a good day. Your Son has been extremely busy.”

                She laughed. “He has never been any other way. Do you know when He will return?”

                Ramah shrugged. “We walked here from Philippi this morning, and He has not stopped since then. The line has simply gotten longer.”

                “Well, He is a hard worker. He gets that from His father.” She hummed. “Both of them, I suppose.” She sighed, looking off in the direction of Jesus’ booth beyond the tree line.

                Ruth saw the opportunity and took it. “Speaking of, how is it possible for Jesus to have two abbas? Is the Son of God thing just a metaphor? Was He adopted, and His biological father is Adonai? How did that work? Did He grow up, or did He just come like this?”

                Mother Mary blinked, surprised by the onslaught. “All good questions. And they can all be explained by one story.”

                “If we give you food, will you tell us?”

                She chuckled. “I think that’s a fair exchange.” She looked around the group. “You all look exhausted. Before I begin my tale, I will help prepare.” She gestured for the women to come with her. “We will have it ready by…” she looked at the things they had already prepared, “Soon! We’ll have it ready soon!” Oh, so the usage of the word runs in the family.

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                As everyone settled down around the fire and dinner was passed around, Ruth smiled. There was nothing like eating around a fire. She sat near the flames, eager to hear Mother Mary’s story. Most of the disciples gathered around the fire with her, including both bar Jonahs. Simon said, “Andrew, I need a mental break.” No! You really don’t! You need to hear a story! She glared at him, but since they weren’t friends, he was even more difficult to silently communicate with than usual. “Do one of your ‘meaningless question’ games.”

                Andrew crossed his arms and pouted. “They’re not meaningless, they’re interesting. And I’ve got one I’ve been thinking about lately. What would you do for unlimited money? What would you give up?”

                Big James asked, “Meaning what?”

                “Would you run through the marketplace naked and screaming?”

                Thomas laughed. “No, I’d be killed by a soldier. Plus, it’d be a sin.”

                “Fine, something that wouldn’t be a sin or get you killed. Like, would you give up the use of your left hand?”

                Ruth had a quick answer, “I’d give up the use of my right hand!” The group laughed. “More honestly, I wouldn’t do anything. I don’t want unlimited money. I imagine it’d be too much to deal with.”

                Andrew scoffed with a grin. “Coming from the girl who was rich.”

                “Yeah, and it was a pain! The only upside was that I could buy whatever I wanted.”

                “The only upside.” He put quotation marks around her words. “What about love?” He continued his questionnaire, “Would you give up ever getting married for money?”

                “Well, I don’t know.” Thaddeus shrugged. “Simon, is it worth it?”

                Simon beamed, “Yes, but you’ll never find someone as lovely as Eden. Take the money.”

                Mother Mary smiled. “I’ve never had much money, and I’ve already been happy.”

                “I don’t think we’ll have any money as long as we follow Him.” Thomas observed, and it wasn’t clear on whether he was happy about the idea.

                “Well, that’s true. But for those of you who had some before, are you happier before or after?”

                John muttered, “Ask Matthew.” Ruth gave him a simmering glare. “What? Was that bad? He has had money, we have not.”

                “I’ve had money as well,” Ruth crossed her arms and tossed her braid behind her back.

                “I know how you feel about it. I want to know how Matthew feels about it.”

                After a short lull, Matthew said quietly, “I feel much better now. I don’t know if that means ‘happy’, exactly.”

                “It is not polite to talk about personal money.” Big James stopped the conversation.

                Ruth added, a little goading in her voice, “Yeah, John, it’s not polite.”

                John raised his hands in surrender. “So-rry.”

                “Sorry, everyone.” Andrew said quietly, and it was clear to Ruth that more was bothering him than the money discussion. He stayed silent for a long time, then said, “Sometimes I feel guilty, for thinking things I shouldn’t. I feel like I’m… not me. I look from the outside, and I don’t see myself. I just see someone who’s trying to live up to the heroes of history, someone who’s trying to do something great… and who fails every time.”

                Ramah said quietly, “I feel the same way. Ever since I joined, I’ve always felt like I’ve had to be perfect and think perfectly, to live up to the calling that I got.”

                Neither of you fail, Ruth argued silently, and neither of you must be perfect. You’ve already lived up to the calling that Jesus gave you- to follow Him- because you’re following Him. Isn’t that enough?

                Mother Mary chuckled. “I felt the same way.”

                Andrew looked over at her, surprised. “Do you feel that way every day?”

                “Not anymore. He always reassured me, and God made sure I never felt burdened by the extra weight.” You know, you never did tell me how Jesus has two abbas.

                “Well, how did you feel when it happened? You know, His birth. And how did you feel before it happened?” Mary asked.

                Ruth jumped in, “Yes! Are you going to tell the story now? And did you know who He was before He was even born?”

                Mother Mary smiled. “Oh, I don’t know. We’re all tired. Do you really want to hear all that?”

                “Yes!” They all answered.

                “Well, it wasn’t easy, I can tell you that. It was not in my hometown, my mother wasn’t with me, it was in a barn. But when Joseph handed Him to me… it was like nothing I had expected. It was everything I expected about having a baby, but I had just thought this would’ve been different.”

                Simon asked, “What do you mean?”

                “Well,” She chuckled, “It’s silly, but I thought He’d be glowing. Instead, I had to clean him off. He was cold, crying, and He needed my help. And I found that weird… this random teenager from Nazareth, helping the Son of God. For a moment, I doubted if it was real. Joseph did too. But we knew, deeply. The needing-us bit stopped after we taught Him to walk and eat, though. And… He doesn’t need me anymore. I suppose He hasn’t needed me for a long time.”

                Ruth found solace in this, a mother’s love. Her eema had died long before, so she had never experienced something like what Mother Mary spoke of. It had only been her and her abba, as long as she could remember. And now, it is only me. Mother Mary continued, “As a Jew, I am excited to see what He does for our people. As a mom… it makes me sad sometimes.” She looked around at the empty night. “How long do you think He’ll be out there?”

                Ruth shrugged. “He’d never turn anyone away, and there’s still a bunch of people. So I’d say…forever.”

                “Forever, eh? Well, in that case I’d better go check on Him. Shalom shalom.”

                Mother Mary walked away. A lengthy period of solemn silence coated the group. Thomas finally spoke up, “I didn’t know He lost His father. I lost mine too. …I’ll have to ask Him about that.” He paused, then asked, “Has anyone else lost a parent?”

                Ruth spoke up, “Kind of. My eema died in childbirth.” She looked at the fire, not wanting to see pitying eyes look at her. Why must we talk about these serious things? Why not keep playing Andrew’s question game? “…But I never really saw it as “losing” her. You can’t lose something you never had.”

                Mary put a hand on Ruth’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

                She shrugged. “Don’t be. I turned out alright.” She looked to Mary. “What about you? What’s your story?”

                “it was when I was a kid.” Oh my goodness, Mary, how have you turned out so nice?

                Thomas replied, “I’m sorry, that must have been painful.”

                “It was.” She sighed, looking down. “It was. You know, I didn’t understand it at first. But when I understood it, it made me really angry. I left when I was young, and was caught up in… the mess I was caught up in.”

                “Left what?” John asked.

                “Everything. My home, myself. I tried to stop being a Jew. I tried to stop being… Mary.”

                Ruth frowned. “Why? Mary is such a good person. I love Mary.”

                “I know.” She smiled sadly. “But I did not. And then, as some of you know, worse things happened. Most of it is a blur, but… I forgot so many of the things I learned as a little girl.”

                “But now you can catch up.” Big James offered.

                “Yes, I hope so. With Matthew, Ruth, and Ramah.” She smiled. “I am happy that I am here with you all, you who are so good at all of this.”

                He gave a half-smile. “We’re not as good as you think.”

                John said, “Well, maybe not all of us.” He turned toward his brother. “But you were the one with your nose in the writings!”

                “Sometimes. I’m not as good as most.”

                “Oh, come on, you could recite all of Torah if you had to!”

                Thaddeus came and sat down by the fire. Mary continued, “I really want to be a good student. I haven’t done much learning for many years.”

                Andrew chuckled. “Neither have I. I don’t think most of us did, after school.” He looked over at Thomas. “Thomas, what about you?”

                Thomas shrugged. “Entered the family business the day after I graduated. Thirteen, and I was working at weddings. Believe me, I am not a student.”

                Thaddeus added, “I wasn’t even good at praying until recently. I’d get bored with it- saying the same thing over and over. But I learned to love it as I got older.”

                John shared, “I wasn’t good at any of it as a student. I didn’t like all the rules.”

                “I’ve always been good at rules. They’re like… steps for me to follow.”

                Andrew added, “That’s true for me, as well. I’ve always been a rule-follower.”  

                Thomas grinned, “Usually, I was pretty good at following the rules. But, one time, when my parents were asleep, I ate meat with cheese just to see what I was missing.” He nodded to Andrew, “Did you ever do anything like that?”

                Andrew shook his head and chuckled. “Never, I’d feel too guilty.”

                Simon rolled his eyes. “You feel guilty for everything. Right after you were born, you said sorry to eema for causing her pain.”

                “Forget the guilt,” Thomas continued with a grimace, “I was sick for two days afterward. Never did that again.”

                 Thaddeus said, “I’ve tried pork once. We were traveling in a Gentile marketplace, and I just grabbed a slice. I hate to say it, it tasted amazing.”

                Big James began, leaning forward and stretching out his hands, “So, John, Abba, and I were on the boat, and it was close to a Shabbat sunset. Abba and John had finished their tasks, but I still had to put my fish in the barrels, because I had so many.”

                “No,” John interrupted, “it was because you were going so slow.”

                “It was because I had so many! And I had to work so hard and so fast, that I actually spilled some of the fish back into the ocean.” He grinned proudly. “But I did it, just in time. I worked so hard I vomited on the shore.”

                “Really didn’t need to know that. You know,” Ruth laughed, “There has been many a time where I’ve had to sprint home because it was almost sunset. When I couldn’t make it, I just slept on the beach.”

                Andrew squinted and counted in his head. “Your home is within the proper Shabbat walking distance of the beach.”

                “Well, I didn’t know that. As a little kid, I had an absolutely horrific sense of distance.” She shrugged, “And I like the beach. But other than that one, I can’t even count how many rules I’ve broken. Never the food laws, though.” She glanced at Thomas, “So, was the meat and cheese any good?”

                Thomas chuckled, “Horrible. You know, I’ve grown to love being Jewish and following the Law. But, at times, both tasks can be exhausting.”

                “It always has been,” Big James replied. “Even before the occupation.”

                Mary asked, “But aren’t we used to it by now? Hasn’t it made us stronger?”

                Ruth shrugged. “I’d rather it’d be easy, and I weak.” She paused and looked at the stars. “Well, that’s not entirely true. Jesus made it harder, and I like it better.”

                “That is what I mean. I would rather have a life of strength than one that is simply easy. Where I can see the hardships I had and go, ‘I have survived this because of Adonai, and I will continue to rely on Him because He is good’. I think if it was any easier, I wouldn’t rely on Him as much.”

                She mulled this over. “You know, everything that comes out of your mouth is absolutely genius.”

                Thomas shrugged. “For me, I don’t necessarily want an easy life. I suppose we Jews never can. But… I’d at least want one without the Romans. I don’t get why it has been allowed to go on this long. I’ll have to ask Him that. But, it’s hard to feel like “God’s chosen people” when we seemingly have been given up to be eaten by wolves.”

                Ramah asked, “But it’s all worth it now, right? The wait is over. He is here.”

                The wind whipped, and the stillness of the night ached with the waiting. Is the wait over? Ruth was rudely disturbed by her thoughts by Simon’s grating voice. He nodded at Matthew, “What about you?” No. No no no, no no no. No. Simon would not ruin Ruth’s perfect night. Yes, it had been full of emotional sharing or whatever, but it had begun with fun, had healing in the middle, and ended with a discussion with her friends around a fire. Simon would not ruin this by annoying her! Please don’t say anything, Matthew, because then I’m going to get into a fight with Simon and I really don’t want to tonight. I’m good.

                “Hm?” Matthew asked. No! “What do you mean?”

                “Has it been difficult for you this whole time? The occupation, following Jewish Law, being oppressed by the Romans?”

                Ruth jumped in, “Well, personally, I haven’t found it that difficult, but that’s because my abba is rich-“

                He held up a hand. “Excuse me, I’m talking to Matthew.” He said in that grating ‘Well, Ruth, I’m older than you, so you have to listen to me’ voice. Oh, you’re on, Simon. I just wanted to protect Matthew from a fight, and also not get Mary mad. But you know what? It. Is. On. “I just want to know- has it been difficult?”

                “Well, my life in general has not been easy.” Matthew glanced to the side.

                Simon gritted his teeth. “Really? Which was more painful for you: escaping the Roman persecution, or escaping your guilt with all your money?”

                Ruth couldn’t take it anymore. “Simon!”

                “It’s just a question.” He turned back to Matthew. “And now I’ve heard you’re catching up on Torah and following the Law? Suddenly, you get all of the perks of being a Jew when you’ve spent your whole life working for those persecuting us? I don’t get it.”

                Even John gave him a look. “Simon.”

                “No, no, I just want to know. See, Mary had horrible trauma-“ He gestured to Mary, who looked like she wanted to sink into the dirt. Don’t you dare use my friend as a point in your mean argument. “She didn’t choose all that happened to her. What’s your excuse?”

                Ruth grew red. “Well, if you’re going to use that argument, what’s my excuse? I got my dowry stolen from me after I stole it all from my abba.” The whole group stared at her in disbelief. “Yeah, that’s right. And mistakenly, Simon, I told you my story. So, you know the whole thing. What is my excuse for all the things that happened to me?”

                “First of all, that’s different. Second of all, I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to Matthew.”

                “And I’m talking to you!” She looked him dead in the eyes. “I want to know. How is that different? What is my excuse? Or is it only different, because I didn’t wrong you personally? Let me ask you this. If I had stolen from you, would you ever have forgiven me?”

                Andrew spoke up, trying to stop the storm, “He forgave you, because you apologized.”

                “Oh, because I apologized, he forgave me, huh? Not because he was my friend?”

                “And that’s all we want from Matthew!” He turned his head toward the man, “An apology.” I understand why you want that. Ruth forced her mind to think patient thoughts. But I don’t think verbally abusing the poor man is the way to do it.  

                Matthew tilted his head. “What?”

                “Simon’s not wrong. He could be more… delicate about it, but he’s not wrong. You do not know what it’s like. You had a hand in our near downfall. And you have not apologized.” He continued more earnestly, “I’d like to at least know you regret it.”

                “Andrew, Simon, I am-“

                Simon stood up. “No, don’t do it now.” That is literally what you wanted!  “It doesn’t matter now. What will hear him saying ‘sorry’ do? I won’t forgive it anyway. It’s just two words for a world of wrong.”

                Ruth continued to try to think patient thoughts. It didn’t work. She just could not believe what she was hearing! Her heart broke, and she told herself it was because Simon wouldn’t forgive Matthew. Am I really forgiven, forgiven? All the wrong I’ve done… Matthew’s wrongs still follow him. Who’s to say they won’t follow me? John looked up at Simon with disgust. “Who put you in charge?” You know, John, you’re not as annoying as I thought you were. “Who are you to forgive or to not forgive?”

                Simon scoffed. “What, you’re on his side?”

                “No, of course not. I’m just saying, I think you’re being unreasonable. You’ve had your share of problems too!” He gestured to himself and his brother. “What about apologizing for what you almost did to us? We almost went to jail!”

                “As you said, almost. I didn’t go through with it! I was trying to save my family!”

                “Does reason make a wrong better?”

                “Yes! Look, I love you, John, but taking care of family isn’t something you have to worry about when you have Zeb and Salome looking out for you. You put me in a desperate position, and I had to look out for my family. I did things I never would’ve done otherwise, and I’ve repented. John and James,” he pointed out each of them in turn, “I’m sorry.”

                Ruth rolled her eyes, always needing to have the last word. “I thought you said words meant nothing.”

                “You know what, I am not talking to you!”

                Thomas looked at Matthew. “Why did you do it? I was a successful businessman, but I was always behind.”

                Thomas! This is not making my mission any less hard. Ruth frowned deeply, “He wasn’t your tax collector.”

                “Quit defending him, I just want an answer.”

                Big James sighed, attempting to calm things down. “Thomas, you’re new here.”

                Simon wasn’t having any of it. He continued on his rant, “Do you even know what it is like to be Jewish? To suffer for centuries and centuries because of it, but to keep going through with it? We protect our heritage, even though it never stops being painful, because our one comfort is we’re doing it together! And someday, someday far off in the future that no one knows the date of, our pain will stop! So we keep holding on! And yet, you abandoned all that.” He grimaced. “You betrayed it! You spit upon it! I can’t forgive that! I’ll never forgive that!”

                Big James stood up, facing Simon as an equal. “All right, you’ve said what you needed to say. We’ve had a long day. Let’s all just go to bed and talk about this in the morning like reasonable people.” Reasonable’s boring. Right now, I feel like Jael with all these tents around. Don’t tempt me. “Sit down, Simon.”

                Andrew stood up. “You sit down first!” Seriously?! John stood up, responding to the threat. At this point, Ruth seriously considered standing up. Her hand went to support her ascent, but Mary and Matthew gave her twin pleading looks. Fine. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming. All the fighters went silent as a rustle came from the grass near their camp.

                Jesus raised His hand wearily. “Good night, everyone.” He went over to His tent, leaning against it. Ruth could feel the aching bones from where she sat at the fire. Mother Mary ran to Him. “Ah, Eema. Thank you.”

                She could not look at Him as Mother Mary helped Him into the tent. She turned toward the fire, hoping to shut out the world. The sound of His prayers drifted to her ears. I can’t take this anymore tonight. Seeking a view of the stars, she crept outside the camp to a small hill near it. From this spot, she could see others at the fire, contemplating how in the world the evening had gone this wrong. Simon stormed off to bed, Andrew following him. John and Big James carried out a similar routine.

                She was startled by a figure coming up to her in the night. “Oh. Sorry.” Matthew turned to leave.

                Ruth grinned apologetically, “This your spot?”

                “No. Well, yes. I mean…”

                “Here, I’ll move.” She scooched over a couple of feet, leaning up against a rock.  Matthew took his place against a tree, so that he almost faded into the blackness of the night. “Well, I’d say this evening went horribly.”

                “Yes, I would agree with you.” He sighed wearily, “Is Simon… always like this?”

                “Most of the time. But not always.”

                 “Are you always like this? So quick to argue with him?”  

                She burst into surprised laughter at the question, “Not usually. But lately, there’s been some… contention between us.”

                He frowned, “I am sorry to have caused such discord between friends.”

                “Matthew, it’s not your fault. Simon’s being immovably stubborn, and…”

                “You are also being immovably stubborn.”

                “Exactly. And that’s how it always is between us, I guess. But… I think Simon will warm up to you.”

                “And what if he doesn’t?”

                “Then I’ll punch him in the face.” She responded quickly. At this statement, Matthew looked incredibly concerned. “Kidding! …Slightly. But I’ll make sure he treats you like what you are. One of us!”

                He stayed silent for a long time. “One of you all. Yes, that is what I would like. But I’ve done so much wrong in my life. I don’t…” he sighed deeply, turning his face away, “I don’t know how I can escape it.”

                “I think you’ve already escaped it.” He turned his head back, surprised. “Well, Jesus called you, didn’t He?”

                He grinned at the memory. “Yes, He did.”

                “Well, then that’s that. And Simon can go jump in a river.” At his confused face, she clarified, “Metaphorically go jump in a river. It means that as long as you have Jesus’s good opinion, Simon’s doesn’t matter.”  

                “I’d like it anyway.”

                “I know.” She sighed, thinking back on her long years knowing the bar Jonahs, “I would like it, too. But neither of us may get it, so in the meantime…” she gestured for him to complete the phrase.

                 “Simon can go… jump in the nearest body of water? And after he does so, get out of it safely, not catching cold from his wet clothes?”

                “Yeah, pretty much.”

Chapter Text

                I am in a good mood, because it’s the Feast of Tabernacles. Ruth said to herself as she hung sheets over their temporary dwelling. Everything is going to be great, and I am not going to glare at Andrew. I am not even going to glare at Simon! She nodded to herself.

                Simon came over and adjusted the sheet. “You pinned it crooked.” I am going to glare at Simon. Ruth went and sat by Mary and Mother Mary, who were working on preparing the food. She was forbidden from touching any of the vegetables, but she could pick the heads off of wheat stalks.

                Mary said, “You know, I’ve never been to Jerusalem. My father never took me and my mother to any of the Feasts.”

                “Never?” Ruth asked in astonishment. “Well, you’re in for a treat. The market at this time is so lively- colors and shops as far as the eye can see! There’s this fantastic goat cheese place- I could eat an entire wheel in one sitting! I wonder if they’re still in business.”

                Simon rolled his eyes. “I don’t think we came to Jerusalem to do our shopping.”

                “I’m just explaining what I find fun. But, of course, I should’ve known. You’ve never heard of fun before!”

                Thaddeus found this a convenient time to explain a tabernacle to Matthew. “A tabernacle is a temporary dwelling.”

                “It’s a tent, basically.” Andrew chimed in.  

                “Well, it’s what the Israelites stayed in when they lived forty years in the wilderness. We build this to commemorate them.”

                Matthew nodded. “I know what a tabernacle is.” He smiled, “So what, do we have to build one to eat?” Ruth grinned at him, but no one laughed at his joke. He clarified nervously, “I was being facetious.”

                Big James added, eager to share history, “This Feast is one of three pilgrimage holidays, where every able-bodied Israelite male travels to Jerusalem and presents himself before Adonai.” He looked back at Matthew. “You really don’t know all this stuff?”

“I have already admitted I don’t know a lot of it. I never really paid attention. I do remember my father leaving three times a year, though.”

                 “Why is it only the men who are required to go?” Mary asked.

                Philip strung up some branches on the top of their tabernacle and answered, “It can be a difficult journey. For the children, the sick, those who need caretakers.”

                Ruth raised a brow. “Apparently including women?”

                He laughed. “You only need a caretaker because unsupervised you’d give all of our money away to strangers. But no one is prohibited from going.”

                She feigned shock. “Who told you about this habit of mine?”

                Simon called, “Alright, I need some able bodies to go into town with me.” I’ll go! I’ll go! I mean… obviously I don’t want to go, if you’re going with us. But oh, it would be so nice to see the markets of Jerusalem! “Nathaniel gave us a list of supplies for this…” He gestured to the tabernacle. “Masterpiece of his.”

                Andrew cut his finger and put it in his mouth to stop the bleeding. “Pick me!” He raised his other hand. “Pick me, Simon.”

                “As long as you stop doing that.”

                Mary said with a smile, “Well, I would like to go and see the market. May I go?”

                “If you have someone with you, yeah.” He shrugged.

                “Ruth, will you go with me?” Oh, come on! Well… I suppose, if I only shop with you and not Simon. “Maybe… show me around?”

                Ruth grinned. “It’s a deal.”

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                “And this is Esther. She sells the best fruit in Israel.” Ruth introduced Mary. Ruth knew practically every vendor in Jerusalem, since she traveled with her father every year.

                Esther laughed. “They are good, but not the best. Would you like to buy some?” She gestured at her wares. “I’ve got a new supply, just in. Oranges. You’ve never had one, right?”

                “I have, one time.” Ruth shrugged. “And besides, I’m poor now!” She laughed. “We have a lot of catching up to do, I see.” She examined the figs. “Though, I suppose a couple figs wouldn’t be out of the question…” She turned to Mary. “How much money do we have?”

                Mary counted. “Well, we’ve gotten all the supplies we needed to get. And we still have… three half-shekels left.”

                “Three half-shekels,” She grinned. “How many figs will three half-shekels buy?”

                Esther gestured to the sign. “A dozen, I’m having a sale.” She winked. “Though, I may throw in some extra if I can get one of your famous portraits.”

                The simple statement cut Ruth to her heart. She said nothing for a long while. Finally, she slowly raised her right hand from her pocket and showed it to the woman.

                “Goodness! What happened?”

                She shrugged. “I don’t really know.” She paused a long time, then said, “A dozen will be fine.”

                Esther took pity on the girl. “How many are in your party?”

                “I am not widely renowned for my skills in counting.”

                “Fifteen,” Mary nodded. “There are fifteen of us.”

                “Fifteen? Wow, much has changed, then.” Esther put three extra figs in their bag. “Then consider this my gift. For an old friend.”

                “You- you don’t have to do that,” Ruth shook her head, unfamiliar with charity. “Here, it at least has to be fair.” She started to take off her earrings, the one thing left over from her old life.

                “Ruth bat Barnabas,” She chided gently, “do you think I haven’t noticed extra shekels in the bottom of the fruit crates after every time you and your father have visited? Consider this a favor repaid.”

                “It-“She began to protest, then fell silent. “Thank you. Thank you, Esther.”

                “Shalom shalom.” Esther gave Ruth an extra fig. “This is for you, since I know you won’t be able to wait. And have a good Feast, with your fourteen friends!”

                She laughed as she and Mary walked away, “Shalom shalom, and we will!”

                They met up with Nathaniel and Thomas near the city limits. “What’s the bag of figs about?” Nathaniel asked as he tried to fish one out of the bag.

                “No, they’re for dinner!” She turned away from him so that the bag was out of his reach. She bit into her own fig.

                “Why do you get one now, then?”

                “Because I’m special.”

                Thomas turned to Nathaniel, “I thought you had lost your appetite.”

                He shrugged, “They’re figs. I’m always hungry for figs.” He turned back to Ruth. “Anyway, you didn’t answer my question. What are the figs about?”

                “We had some money left over, and I thought it would be nice.” She grinned. “Besides, it’s a feast week. I’m allowed to splurge a little.”

                “I don’t think Simon said anything about splurging.”

                “Oh, him.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t mention him. Besides,” She gestured to the bag, “They were on sale. And Esther, Adonai bless her, gave me four for free. I think even Simon will understand that it’s a feast week, and it’ll be good for dessert for tonight. It’s not called a feast week for nothing.”

                “It’s not me you have to defend yourself to.” He shrugged, putting his hands up. “It’s Simon. And I’m not sure he’ll be so understanding.”

                “I know,” She admitted with a whisper, “but I’m trying not to think about that part.”

                It was at that point, when they walked into an open space, that they noticed a Pharisee with a bunch of people gathered around him. Oh, great.

                The Pharisee began, “Beware of false teachers! They beguile you with great teachings, but they go against the Law of God!” Wow, the one time a Pharisee is right. Alright, I’ll avoid false teachers. I’ll only follow my Rabbi.

                “Psst!” Matthew, who stood by one of the columns, got the group’s attention. His eyes darted from them to the ground, from them to the ground. Ruth thought she got the hint. Did I get something on my toes?  She looked to the ground. Nope, clean all around.

                “What are you doing?” Thomas asked loudly. Matthew stayed silent but looked very alarmed. He tried motioning with his head to the place directly beside him. Ohhh, wait, I get it.

                Thomas muttered to Nathaniel, thinking Ruth couldn’t hear him, “This guy irritates me immensely.” Ruth leveled a deadly glare in his direction.

                Nathaniel answered without hesitation, “Makes sense. You’re kind of the same person.” Matthew and Thomas? The same kind of person? I don’t see it. “All numbers and logic.” Well, one is all numbers and logic, the other is all annoying and annoying. Very different.

“You know, hints aren’t so hard to get if you’re looking.” She marched over to Matthew, beckoning the rest to follow her. Mary stifled a laugh and followed suit. Nathaniel and Thomas stood there like statues. “Well?” They both sighed and followed her. “Good morning, Matthew, what’s up?”

                Matthew gripped his bag with nervousness. “Well, that Pharisee-“ He paused, his eyes catching on Ruth’s bag. “Why did you buy figs?”

                “For fun,”

                 He accepted the answer, “Okay, then. That Pharisee,” He looked with wide eyes at the Pharisee preaching, “that Pharisee knows us.”

                “He does?” Ruth asked loudly, then lowered her tone. “From where?”

                Mary discreetly looked over at the Pharisee, “Oh, dear. He is the one from Big James and John’s house.” She sensed Ruth’s confusion. “At the time, you were on the roof.”

                She listened closely. “Him?” she closed her eyes and recalled that day. “I recognize his voice.”

                Matthew nodded, and explained to Thomas and Nathaniel, “He called for Jesus’s arrest! We need to go.”

                “Where?” Nathaniel asked. “The meeting place is a block away.”

                Thomas grimaced, “Agh, curse it. What are the odds?” Matthew started actually calculating the odds, using his fingers. Ruth had to stifle a laugh when Thomas also actually started calculating the odds.

                “Are you serious?” Nathaniel asked with a smile. “Look, just stay out of sight.” He nodded to the three of them. “He doesn’t know Thomas and my face, and from the sound of it he doesn’t know Ruth’s. If we see the others, we’ll head them off, hm?”

                Matthew nodded and walked away. Mary glanced at Ruth, gesturing for them to follow. “Ah,” Matthew looked behind him and saw the two women. “Have you gotten all your supplies yet?”

                “Yep, and some more.” Ruth grinned.

                “Yes, the figs.” He considered his words. “Did Simon authorize this purchase?”

                She groaned dramatically. “Simon had nothing to do with it.” She grinned mischievously, “In fact, he probably won’t be too happy with this one.”

                He said simply, “I do not want another fight. Please don’t start one.”

                Ruth turned his words over in her mind. “I’ll try not to.” She promised.

                “Good.” He nodded. “I must go now and collect my supplies.” He darted away, getting lost in the crowd.

                “Well,” Ruth shrugged, “I suppose we could take the long way around to the meeting place.”

                Mary nodded, “Sounds good.” She paused before her next words. “Hey, I know that you don’t particularly like talking about it. But I’ve been thinking about the other night.”

                Her walls immediately threatened to go up. “What about the other night?”

                “Well, you mentioned something about stealing your dowry and then getting it stolen from you.” She tilted her head. “I simply want to know because though you are my closest friend, I know so little about you.”

                She considered this argument for a long time. “Okay, then. See…” It took her a long time to find the route to the meeting spot, about as long as it took her to tell the story. When she was finished, she looked up to Mary nervously. “Are you… still my friend?”

                Mary let out a small gasp. “Of course, Ruth. The thought of not being so hadn’t even occurred to me. You will always be my friend, no matter what you do. Nothing can change that.”

                “Really? You don’t see me any differently?”

                “Well, I see you differently, but only because I know more about you. I’ve just been given a fuller picture of your redemption through Jesus. I’m happy about that. And, for the record, I forgive you.”

                “You do?”

                “Always.” She grinned. “Now, I think it’s time to head back to camp and see if we can keep these people from eating the figs before their time.”

                Ruth laughed. “That will be difficult.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

                Ruth sat by Ramah and Mother Mary, who were still working on dinner. The tabernacle looked closer to completion than it had before she left. “Good work,” she said to the group.

                “Thank you,” Philip grinned. “It certainly has been a large task.” He looked toward her bag. “Are those figs?”

                “Yes, and no, you can’t have one. They are for dinner.”

                “Figs?” Simon popped his head out behind one of the branches. “I didn’t think we needed figs.”

                Ruth shrugged. “No one ever needs figs. But many people want figs.”

                He frowned. “Even so, they weren’t on your list of supplies to get.”

                “You’re no fun.” She scoffed. “So, I went off the list a little bit. Who cares? It’s a Feast week, I got figs as a treat for us.”

                Simon pinched his forehead in irritation. “You can’t just spend willy-nilly. We’re not living the high life like you were, anymore.” Okay, that’s honestly kind of fair. Maybe I’ll apologize. He added with slight disgust, “Not all of us have free access to daddy’s money.” Simon! We almost had an agreeable conversation!

                “It was only three half-shekels. And they were on sale!”

                “Oh, that makes it okay, then.”

                “Kind of, yeah.”

                “Listen here.” Simon raised his chin. She stood up, but even then, Simon towered over her. He continued, “You’re not just looking out for yourself anymore. You’re looking out for this group. So, you’re going to have to grow up a little and stop being irresponsible.”

                “You’re calling buying figs irresponsible?”

                “No, it’s just the principle.”

                “It’s just the principle,” She muttered in a mocking voice. “Fine. I won’t buy treats for everyone because I thought it’d be nice ever again. Is that good?” Matthew shot her a worried look, and she added half-heartedly, “Sorry.”

                He sighed and looked up to Heaven. “Messiah, come quickly.” He muttered.

                She pointed to Jesus, who was helping with the tabernacle. “He’s already-“

                “I know He’s already here. It’s called an expression, for when you’re tired of dealing with people.”

                “I know. I just wanted to annoy you.”

                “Great, you did your job. Is this conversation over?”  

                “Yep.” She popped the ‘p’ for emphasis.

                “Fantastic.” He stormed off, and she slumped back down on the ground.  

                Andrew stopped by. “Oooh, figs!” He reached for the bag.

                “No! They’re for dinner!” Ruth sighed as she moved the bag. “I braved the wrath of your brother for these, I’m saving them for dinner.”

                “Fine, then. Hey, speaking of my brother,” He glanced over at Simon, “can I talk to you?”

                She sighed and stood up. “Talk away.” She crossed her arms.

                “I’m sorry about the other night.” He clicked his tongue. “I really thought that apology thing would work.”

                “It did work. It was Simon who didn’t work.”

                “I know that!”

                “He can be mean and annoying.”

                “You’re telling me.” He rolled his eyes. “And so, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. My quarrel isn’t with you.”

                “It kind of is, though.”

                “It’s not! Look, my opinion of Matthew isn’t that high. But he had the gall enough to apologize, and even though Simon didn’t accept it, I think it was a good move.”

                “So, you don’t like him, but you don’t hate his guts.”

                “Exactly.”

                “And you’ll be polite to him?”

                “Yes.”

                “And you won’t seek out ways to verbally assault him?”

                “No, I won’t.” He chuckled dryly. “I’m not Simon.”

                “Good. Then we’re good.” She nodded.

                “That’s good. You know, now that we’re friends,” He raised his eyebrows, “I was wondering if you’d finally tell me your story with your dowry.”

                “Oh, not this again.” She groaned melodramatically. “Everyone and their eema has been asking me about that.” Literally only one person had asked her. Andrew tilted his head. “Fine, I’ll give you the condensed version. Ruth mad at abba. Ruth steals dowry from abba and runs away. Ruth sad. Ruth sees fish miracle. Ruth stays in inn for week. Ruth meets man on street. Man on street and friends steal dowry from Ruth. Ruth sad and mad. Ruth meets Jesus. Ruth glad. Happy?”

                “Andrew happy.” He nodded with a grin. “Now, may Andrew have fig from bag?”

                “No!” She waggled her finger at him. “I told you, they’re for dinner.”

                “Well… what if I hugged you?”

                She squinted. “Why would you do that?”

                “Because,” He spread out his hands, formatting his plan in the sky, “you just told me a large part of your life story. You may be emotional from this great task.” He glanced down at her unamused and unemotional face. “I said may be. And I know that hugs cheer you up. So, after you have been cheered, you may, out of the goodness of your heart…” He looked around her to where the bag of figs sat, “give me a fig?”

                “Are you trying to bribe me?” She crossed her arms in suspicion.

                He shrugged innocently. “Nooooooooooooooooooooo.”

                “Raaaaaaabbiiiiiii!” Ruth called in an overexaggerated whining voice. “Andrew’s trying to bribe me!”

                Jesus chuckled and chided half-heartedly, “Andrew, no bribery.”

                Andrew protested, “But it’s for figs.”

                “Oh, a worthy cause! By all means, then, go ahead.”

                “Rabbi!” Ruth laughed.

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                “A woman of valor,” Jesus began the recitation,

                “Who can find!” The rest of the group responded.

                As they continued their recitation and began eating, Ruth couldn’t be happier. Conversation whirled around her like a great dance, and she danced until her feet were sore. This was the kind of life she had always wanted to live, and she was living it!

                Big James said to Jesus, “In the prophet Zechariah, he says that the nations who rose up against Jerusalem will worship the King and celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles.” Immediately, Ruth stopped her conversation and started paying attention. I’ve got no idea what he’s saying, but it sounds interesting.

                “Zechariah says that?” Simon squinted.

                Andrew laughed, “It’s read every year at the Feast. You just don’t pay attention.”

                “Well, all the readings kind of run together.”

                Jesus smiled, “What exactly is your question, James?”

                Big James said with slight disgust, “Is Zechariah saying that one day our enemies will celebrate this feast? The Babylonians, the Assyrians, the Romans? What would happen for that to take place?”

                “Something would have to change.”

                John but in, “But the booths will mean nothing to them! They weren’t the ones who wandered in the wilderness.”

                “Everyone, at one time or another, has wandered in the wilderness.” He said with a slight smile.

                Ruth raised her hand. “I haven’t, unless You count following You. But I don’t think that’s wandering, since we know where we’re going.”

                “If all nations celebrate in Jerusalem,” Matthew squinted, “there would not be enough room for all the people, not by…” He started counting on his fingers. He looked up, “I will not bore you with the calculations.”

                Jesus grinned. “I think it won’t be Jerusalem as we know it now.”

                Ramah shook her head. “Certainly not. But if Zechariah prophesied it, it’ll be fulfilled, right?”

                “It just…  sounds impossible.” Andrew shrugged. Andrew, have you seen Who we’re traveling with?

                Mother Mary grinned. “I know a lot about prophecies that sound impossible.”

                “Any others have any questions?” Jesus grinned.

                Ruth raised her hand again. “How do You have two abbas?”

                “Aah, that question.” He smiled. “I certainly have kept you waiting on that one. Well, my human father adopted me. I am a child of Adonai.”

                “Yeah, I got that. How does that even work?”

                Mother Mary answered, “A messenger of the Lord visited me. He told me that I would have a son, and it would be of the Spirit and of the Lord.” She shrugged. “I have no idea how it worked, myself.”

                “…What?”

                “This was when Joseph and I were still betrothed. So when he found out that I was pregnant… he almost didn’t believe me. But an angel came to him in a dream and told him I was telling the truth. Ever since then, he’s been the best abba to Jesus. Well,” she winked, “besides Someone.”

                Ruth stayed silent a long time; her eyes squinted in confusion. “That… makes sense? I think?”

                 “Like I said, I don’t understand how it works myself.”

                At this point, a bowl of figs was passed around. Mother Mary took one and exclaimed, “Oh! What a lovely surprise, I didn’t think we were getting these!”

                “What a lovely surprise,” Ruth muttered with a giant grin.

                “Be quiet,” Simon muttered back.

Chapter Text

                “You’ve got to talk to Him!” Ruth went to John.

                “Why do I have to do it?”

                “Because you’re the one who’s all leader-y. He needs to hear the bad news from you.”

                “You were the one who saw Shmuel in the marketplace! I wasn’t even there!”

                “Yeah, but I didn’t recognize him. He was at your house.”

                “Oh, fine.” John rolled his eyes and went to Jesus. Simon went with him, and they told him of Shmuel. Ruth listened in.

                “That’s good,” Jesus said with a grin. What? That’s…good? Huh? “I am going to see someone inside the city walls tomorrow, you may come with me, if you like. I like the company. Oh, and why don’t you bring Matthew? It’ll be good for him.” She felt Simon’s grimace from twenty feet away.

                “Can I go?” She appeared from the other side of the tabernacle.

                Simon sighed long-sufferingly. “It may be dangerous.”

                “Yeah, that makes it sound fun! What do you think, Rabbi?” she turned toward Him, making her face as pleadingly convincing as she could manage.  

                He chuckled, shaking His head. “Ruth, Ruth, Ruth. Of course you can.”

                The next morning, she, Simon, John, and Matthew set out for Jerusalem.  

                “Matthew!” Ruth bounced along beside him eagerly. “Can I see what all you’ve written?”

                Matthew shook his head. “Not yet.”

                “Oh.” She frowned, “Alright.”

                “It’s just not ready yet. I’ve recorded the events as I’ve seen them. But I want to get the wording right.”  

                “I doubt it’ll ever be ready.” Simon muttered.

                Ruth dug her fingernails into the palm of her hand. “Have you ever tried writing a book, Simon?”

                “Technically it’s not a book,” Matthew corrected gently, “It’s an official record.”

                “Oh, sorry.” she turned back to Simon, “Have you ever tried writing an official record, Simon?”

                “No, I don’t have much experience with official records.” Simon shrugged, which infuriated Ruth to no end. He lowered his voice to a whisper, “Probably because I spent my life making an honest living in my father’s trade.”

                “Yeah, I wouldn’t really call what you did honest.”

                His face grew red. “That’s not what we were talking about.”

                “Oh, yeah? What were we talking about, then? Underhanded dealings,” she glared at him intensely, “or traitors to our people? From what you’ve told me, you might have experience with both.”  

                “You like this, don’t you? Stirring things up, picking fights, being the center of attention all the time. You want to know what I think of you? I think-“ he stopped himself and sighed deeply. “Whatever. It’s whatever. I don’t even care at this point.”

                “I do!”  

                “Of course you do.”

                “What’s that supposed to mean?! Of course I care about my friends.”

                He gritted his teeth and responded carefully. “See, that’s where you and I disagree. If you did care about your friends, you would have remained loyal to them. To us.”

                “Oh, so obviously because I sided with Matthew, I’m the biggest traitor the bar Jonahs have ever had the displeasure of coming across.”

                “Now you’re getting it.”

                “’Now you’re getting it!’” she repeated in a shrill, mocking voice. “Unbelievable.”  She was going to return a string of insults, but as she opened her mouth, she felt a strange feeling at the back of her neck. At the same time, she felt a Rabbi-induced sense of self-control kick in. Fine. Because I want to obey Jesus, I won’t berate you, Simon. But you’re still the most- okay, I’m done. I promise. I’m being nice! This is me being nice!

                John’s eyes grew as big as plates. “So!” He turned toward Jesus, cutting the awkward silence like a piece of bread, “this person you’re meeting.” He turned to Jesus as they walked. “Are you meeting them in the temple?”

                “The opposite, actually.” Jesus shrugged. “The Bethesda Pool.”  

                He turned to Jesus in shock. “Bethesda? How… strange.”

                 Matthew leaned in. “Why is it strange?” Ruth’s ears perked up, disrupting her sulking streak. Strange? I like strange!  

                “Well, you see, the history of the pool is pagan.” John grinned, eager to share information. He walked a couple of paces in silence, then realized he knew no more than that. “James would know more about that stuff.”

                Simon supplied, “It used to be a shrine to the Phoenician god Eshmun, then the Greeks and Romans turned it into a place of worship for the healing cult of Asclepius.”

                “Very good, Simon.” Jesus nodded. The city walls loomed above them as they crested the final hill on the way to Jerusalem.

                John turned to Simon curiously. “How do you know all that?”

                “James isn’t the only one who reads. You should try it sometime.” He shrugged.

                “Well,” He fixed his posture to seem taller, “I know about the pools. Every day or so the water steams and bubbles, and some people believe that it’s stirred up by an angel who heals the first person who gets to the stirred water.” He looked over to Jesus. “Is that why we’re here? To figure out how the pools work?”

                Jesus answered, “No, not today. Someday someone will figure out how it works and then tell everyone. But for now, we have a checkpoint to pass. Everyone, behave yourselves.” He smiled lovingly at the group. His smile faded as they came closer to the city walls.  

                Four criminals hung bloody and tortured on crosses right outside the city. Ruth covered her mouth as she passed it. Surely no crime could be worthy of that. She tried to cover her ears to block out their agonizing pleas for mercy.

                “Who would even do that to a person?” She whispered to Jesus after they had successfully passed the checkpoint. “And why?”

                “Many reasons.” He said, and the simple words seemed laden with much more.

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                She hopped down the stairs to the pool of Bethesda. The pool stood in one section of the clearing, with a couple tents scattered about around the edges. The water in the pool stayed stagnant, looking nothing like something that could heal anyone. “So, this is what all the fuss is about?”

                Simon replied, “I think we haven’t seen the whole of it.” His tone was neutral, but to Ruth it sounded as annoying as two rocks scraping together.

                Jesus nodded to a man near one of the tents. “That’s him.”

                Ruth looked around for the man and couldn’t pick him out. “Who?”

                “Him.” He motioned to an older-looking man sleeping on a rug. “The one who’s been here the longest but doesn’t belong.”  Wow, he looks pretty hopeless. Wait, I wonder if- She grinned as she came to the realization. I’m so glad I came along.

                “Why do I get the feeling that this isn’t just a meeting?” Simon asked. Well, maybe ‘cause it’s not just a meeting. Come on! It took you that long to- Ruth, you’re being nice. Try to remember that.  “Do we need to be on the lookout?”

                “No. Just stay with Me and watch.” He stepped down, and Ruth followed Him. She stepped around the coughing and crying people on the stairs. Blankets and rugs were laid out in a mismatched pattern on the ground. A thin layer of dust covered some, while others had arrived more recently. This place is so… hopeless. She shuddered. I hate it.

                When she turned the corner after the last step, she almost ran into a bunch of Pharisees staring at her. Oh, Moses! Seriously?  Jesus nodded at them and moved on. The group walked over to the man on the ground.

                “Shalom.” Jesus said with a grin.

                “Me?” The man asked. He looked around, expecting someone else to offer a greeting. When no one did, he said with hesitation, “Shalom.” His eyes sparked a bright blue, the remnants of which sparkled through the curtain of time.  

                “I have a question for you.”

                “Really?” He sighed. He propped himself up. “Well, I don’t have many answers. But,” He gestured to Jesus, “go ahead.”

                “Do you want to be healed?” He asked, like it was the simplest question in the world. Yes! Ruth beamed.  

                He was taken aback. “Who… who are You?”

                “We’ll get to that later. But my question remains. Do you want to be healed?”

                He gave a breathy laugh. He looked up, his eyes full of hope. “Will You take me to the water?” Jesus shook His head. The man’s face immediately sank into a deep frown. “Look, I’m having a really bad day.” His voice broke.

                “You’ve been having a bad day for a really long time.” Jesus waited for the man, who just stared at him. “Well?”

                “Sir,” Tears flooded his eyes. “I have no one to help me into the water. And when I get near enough-“ He looked away, toward the pool that had been the main source of his frustration. “I’m trampled! The others get there before I can.”

                “Look at Me,” Jesus said gently. The man did nothing. “Look at Me.” He looked. “That’s not what I asked.” He shook his head with a small smile. “I asked about you.”

                The man broke into sobs, his eyes an exhausted red. “I’ve tried! I’ve tried, for so many years, I’ve tried.”

                “I know. And I know you don’t want any false hope. But this pool… it offers nothing for you. And you know that.” He asked, “So why have you stayed here all these years?”

                The man looked at Him and Ruth was reminded of a sheep lost in the woods. “I don’t know.” He said quietly.

                “You don’t need this pool,” He shook His head. “You only need Me. So… do you want to be healed?” The man nodded, too choked up to say anything. “Alright. Then, let’s go. Get up. Take up your mat and walk.”

                He stared at Jesus for a long time. Finally, he scrunched his eyes up tightly and slapped his leg. Pain radiated from his leg, and joy radiated from his face. The man laughed in delight. He and Jesus stood up slowly together. Jesus hugged him, then walked away. Ruth felt a strange sense of sadness at this sight. She immediately tried to brush it away, but it stayed on her like leprosy.  Just like that. Can’t Jesus heal me- Ruth, stop talking. He said your purpose wasn’t drawing. Well, yeah, but a hand can be used for other things than drawing. Ruth, stop talking!

                “Who…” The man reached out for Him as He walked away.

                Simon grinned. “Time for you to walk, like he said.”

                The man looked back startled, like he had just now noticed Simon’s presence. “Who… Who was that?”

                Ruth added, shaking her thoughts out of her brain, “Don’t forget your mat.”

                He picked up his mat. “Why does this matter?”

                “’Cause you’re never coming back.” She said with a giant grin. “It all changes today.”

                At this obviously grievous sin, a Pharisee zoomed to them. Ruth had to move out of the way to not get run over. “You!” The Pharisee pointed at the man. “It’s Shabbat! What are you doing?”

                The man tilted his head. “Torah forbids carrying a mat on Shabbat?”

                John rolled his eyes. “Not Torah. Oral tradition.” He said the words like they were a sour fruit on his tongue.  

                The Pharisee continued, “It is forbidden to carry a large object from one domain to another on Shabbat!”

                Ruth stared, mouth agape at this man. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

                “I am not ‘kidding.’”

                John added in frustration, “Did you not just see what happened here? Why are you trying to make this about Shabbat?”

                The man, now standing, said in awe, “The Man who healed me… He said, ‘Take up your bed and walk’.”

                The Pharisee pulled out a tablet and started taking notes. “So, this Man encouraged a violation of a holy day?”

                “Oh, come on!” Ruth’s tongue got loose of her self-control and exclaimed. “A miracle just happened, and you’re focusing on the fact that he picked something up? Do you realize what you sound like right now? Don’t worry, I’ll tell you. You sound like the most-“ She finally caught wind of Simon and John’s twin deadly glares. “I’m going to stop talking now.” Matthew poked her and motioned to the steps. Hoping to not get arrested, she ran behind Simon and John.

                The Pharisee turned around. “Who is this woman, to-“ He grumbled. He turned back to the man. Ruth paused and listened on the steps. “What was His name?”

                The man shrugged, his face alight with wonder. “I don’t know! All I know is that He healed me!”

                 “Of course He didn’t tell you His name. He performed a magic trick and convinced you to commit a sin. A false prophet.” At the words false prophet assigned to her Rabbi, Ruth ground her teeth. She lunged forward, but John forcibly dragged her to the street.

                “Report whatever you like!” She heard the man’s voice as the group ran away. “I don’t care! He healed me! He healed me!” His joyful shouts rang in the pool of Bethesda. His joy was infectious, giving every tent and every sick person a molecule of hope. And maybe, they’ll stop looking for hope in the wrong place. Ruth grinned as she ran away.

                “That was amazing!” Simon ran behind Jesus as He passed the city walls. “Thank You for letting me see that.”  

                He chuckled. “Thank you for being with Me.”

                John added, “Well, the Pharisees were pretty upset.”

                Ruth groaned. “Oh, yes. There was this one Pharisee who was yelling at the guy You healed because he picked up his mat on the Sabbath! Like, seriously? This guy just walked for the first time in who-knows-how-long and this guy yelled at him for picking up an overpriced rug. It was just so petty, it got me really frustrated.”

                “We know.” John said in deadpan. He updated Jesus, “I had to drag her to the street to keep her from punching him.”

                “I wasn’t going to punch him!” she argued. “I just… really wanted to!”

                Simon gave a goading grin. “That was almost as fun to watch as the miracle. I think this week is going to be fun, right?” He turned to Jesus, who beamed and nodded.

                Matthew asked, “Rabbi, I do have a question. Waiting thirty more minutes wouldn’t have mattered to that man. Why didn’t You wait until Shabbat was over?”

                “Well,” Jesus turned around and said with mischief, “sometimes you’ve got to stir up the water.” He walked away, leaving the disciples to gawk at each other.

Chapter Text

Once again, Ruth had absolutely no idea where they were. Well, somewhere near Jerusalem, headed toward wherever John the Baptist is. She amended mentally. That’s all I got from Matthew’s explanation with the map. I don’t know how to read those things. That’s why I travel in a group. I’m never the one figuring out directions. She sat by the fire, once again practicing her weaving. She wasn’t quite good at it. Mary bartered for this new-fangled traveling loom, and I can’t even do anything with it. John came and sat by her, crossing his legs on the hard ground.

                “Look,” She showed him the mess she had made with a grin. “I made a knot.”

                “That’s the worst knot I’ve ever seen.”

                She gasped melodramatically. “No, it’s the best knot. It’s the most beautiful knot.” She hugged the loom closer to herself. “Don’t listen to him,” She whispered to it.

                “You know what’s more fun than weaving?” He leaned forward, checking his surroundings. No one else sat by the fire by them. He whispered, “You’re still mad at Simon, right?”

                She rolled her eyes. “Him, really? I thought you were about to tell me something fun. And, yes, I’m still mad at Simon.”

                “Good.” He grinned. “How about we take today and use it purely to mess with him?” She looked at the camp around her. It was a beautiful day, really. The sun shone, the birds sang, the tall grass swayed gently in the wind. It was a perfect day to mess with Simon.

                Her eyes lit up. She set her loom on the ground and turned to face him. “I’m totally in.”

                “I knew it.” John nodded, his brown eyes sparking with mischief.

                “So, what did you have in mind?” She waited for his answer.

                “I’ve got a brilliant plan. First, we… give him a pomegranate… and then…” He searched for an answer. He glanced at a bowl of salt on the table. “We put salt on it.”

                “That’s it?” She crossed her arms, flicking her pink veil out of her arms’ grasp.

                “Well, obviously that’s not the only thing we do.”

                “Two things wrong with your brilliant plan.” She held up her left hand, showing two fingers.

                “Isn’t that Roman for five?”

                “You’re hilarious. Anyway, two things. One, Simon hates pomegranates. He’ll never eat even a regular one.”

                “He hates pomegranates?! Why?”

                “Because he’s a boring, annoying adult. Second, that plan is just so lame. I thought you meant like, mess with him mess with him. Like, throw his tent in the river mess with him.” She thought of the rushing river nearby.

                He leaned back and put his hands up, almost falling over. “I want to have some fun, not die.”

                “We could… dismantle his tent?” Her greenish eyes glinted. “While he’s still in it.” Her mind raced with very enjoyable images of Simon waking up to tent fabric pushed against his face.

                John snapped his fingers. “I’ve got a better idea. We could dismantle his tent while he’s out of it, and then put it back up.”

                “Then what’s the point?”

                “No, just hold on!” He laid out the plan in his mind. “We dismantle his tent. Then, when he goes away, we’ll put it back up. Then, we dismantle it again. Then put it back together.” He grinned. “It’ll drive him absolutely crazy.”

                “Okay, you’re slowly convincing me.” She nodded, her black braid taking on a life of its own to join in the excitement. “It’s still not enough, though. Before we dismantle it the first time, we mess up all the bedclothes inside of it. We also sprinkle a couple berries on the inside.” She grinned. “Maybe put a couple scratches in the ground. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

                “Wait a minute.” He thought before he came to the realization. “You think he’s going to think there’s a bear in camp?”

                “Maybe.” She shrugged, a smirk growing on her face. “Maybe not.”

                “Psychological warfare,” He nodded. “I like how you think, Ruth. I wonder why we haven’t done this before.”

                “Because you’re annoying.”

                “No, you’re the annoying one.”

                 She rolled her eyes. “Boys are so dumb.”

                “I’m not a boy!” He crossed his arms. “I’m a man. A full year, seven months, three weeks and two days older than you.”

                “How did you find out my birthday?” She glanced at him in suspicion. “Fine, then. I amend my statement. Men are dumb.”

                “You don’t think Andrew or Matthew are dumb.”

                “Alright. I amend my statement a final time: John, son of Zebedee, apostle of Jesus the Messiah, is dumb. That sound good?”

                “Yes. Wait, no.” He grumbled. “Anyway, Simon won’t keep leaving camp for no reason. We need to distract him.”

                “We should ask Philip to go with Simon and talk with him to distract him.”  

                John tilted his head back and forth, contemplating. “Will Philip agree?”

                “We could always bribe him if he doesn’t agree. Or extort him.” Well, we can’t bribe him. She considered her empty purse on her belt. Currently, I have no money.

                “He’s Philip. He can’t be bribed or extorted. He’s like, morally upright or something.” He weighed the options. “But he is fun. Alright, let’s go talk to Philip.”

                “It’s a plan!” She grinned. “Wait, before we go, we need a secret handshake.”

                “A what? Why?”

                “You know, like the Maccabees! The Maccabees had secret handshakes, because they were on a secret mission.”

                “No, they didn’t- where did you get that?” He examined his cursory knowledge of the books of Maccabees.

                “Writings,” She shrugged innocently. In fact, the shepherd Batta had told her this when Ruth was about seven. Batta had two missing teeth and a warrant out for her arrest. Ruth figured that ‘writings’ would sound more credible. “Pleeeeeease?”

                “Fine.” He held his hand out. She shook it, and then bumped into it with a fist. She pushed it with an open hand.

                “That’s our handshake.” She made John repeat the handshake, just to make sure he got it.

                “That’s a lame handshake.”

                “I am going to feed you to Jonah’s fish.”

                “Rude.”

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                 “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyy, Philip.” She walked over to him as he stripped bark off a log. John sat down on the other side of him. “I’ve got a favor to ask you.”

                “Uhm, sure.” He glanced at the two teenagers that had surrounded him. “Go ahead.” He set down his bark-stripping knife.

                John burst with eagerness. “We’re going to mess with Simon.”

                “Nothing too bad!” Ruth added, to make Philip more convinced.

                Philip squinted. “What are you planning to do?”

                “Psychological warfare.”

                “Not that bad,” John reached across Philip’s chest simply to elbow Ruth in the arm. “We’re going to mess up his tent. Make it seem like a bear got into it. And then, when he goes away… we’ll restore it completely back to normal. And then we’ll repeat that process again, until he goes insane. And finally… we’ll put salt on his grapes.”

                Ruth glared at him. “Dude, that bit was not part of the plan! What is your obsession with salt?”

                “James did it to me once. And it was disgusting.”

                “I put salt on a melon once. It wasn’t actually that bad.”

                He feigned a gasp. “For this horrifically wrong opinion, I am disowning you.” He turned his face away from her. “You are shunned.”

                “You should be shunned for that mustache.” She returned without a second thought.

                He put a fist to his heart, miming a sword through it. “How dare you? It’s a fantastic mustache!” He smoothed it with his hand and then posed a couple times to prove the point. Ruth was not at all convinced.

                Philip put his hands up to redirect the conversation. “So, wait, what do you want me to do?”

                John turned his attention back to the matter at hand. “We need you to distract Simon, so we can dismantle and remantle the tent.”

                “Won’t he get suspicious if I drag him away from camp many times during the day?”

                “Well, he’s got chores to do too. You just need to drag him away once.”

                “Just once,” Ruth added. “And if we need him away more times than that, we’ll recruit Nathaniel.”

                “No, Nathaniel’s too honest. He’ll spill our plans in a second.” John shook his head. “Matthew?”

                “I usually don’t want my friends to die. We’ll figure it out. Hopefully it won’t come to that.”

                “Yeah, hopefully not.” He turned back to Philip with a hopeful gleam. “So, are you in?”

                Philip sighed. He said nothing for a while, leaving them in suspense. “Alright, I suppose. Just… wink at me or something if you need him gone.”

                “Yes!” Ruth grinned. “Okay, now you need to know the secret handshake.”

                John groaned. “Enough with the secret handshake!”

                “It’s fun! What are you, allergic to fun?”

                “No! It’s just lame!”

                “Putting salt on pomegranates is lame.”

                “It’s disgusting! He’ll hate it!”

                “I get that, it’s just low-hanging fruit. We can do so much better.”

                “Low-hanging frui-“

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                Finally, Simon went away from camp to do boring things like collect firewood or water or something. Ruth nodded at John.

                “I’ve got to go… do something.” John abandoned his conversation with Big James. He snuck over to Simon’s tent, which stood at the end of camp. It stood beautifully clean, with the bedclothes neatly made and absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. Ruth stood over the tent, contemplating.

                “Wait, isn’t this also Andrew’s tent?” She turned to John and questioned.

                “Yeah, so what?” She said nothing. John gave her a goading look, “You’re not backing down, are you?”

                “No, idiot.” She squinted. She cracked her knuckles, preparing herself for a great battle. She hesitated, “Just… hold on.” She ran to Andrew, who was speaking with Thaddeus.

                “Hey, what’s up?” He asked, an easygoing bright expression on his face.

                “Can I destroy your tent for fun?”

                “What?”

                “Simon will hate it.”

                “Uhm… sure? Just… put it back afterward?”

                “Yes!” She squealed, running back to John. “Thanks, you’re the best!”

                John put his hands on his hips. “What was that about?”

                “I’m mad at Simon. I’m not mad at Andrew.” She explained, turning back to the tent. “So, time to have fun.” She stuck her tongue out as she worked. She and John messed the bedclothes up. They added scratches in the dirt with a stick. Berries littered the ground.

                “Well, what do you think?” John stood back and looked at their handiwork.

                “I think it looks pretty good. Wait, I’ve got an idea!” She ran to Matthew, who sat at the base of a tree, writing peacefully. “Matthew, do you know what bear tracks look like?”

                “Uhm, yes?”

                “Could you draw some moving away from Simon’s tent?”

                He tilted his head. “Alright. Why?”

                She grinned. “Just to mess with him.”

                He paused for a while. “Okay.” He looked up at her, face full of concern. “As long as none of it is blamed on me.”

                “Of course!” She smiled. She offered a hand to help him up from his spot. He didn’t take it, walking over to Simon’s tent. He knelt down and made impressions in the dirt. They looked surprisingly like bear tracks. This is going perfectly. Simon’s totally going to freak out. “And one more thing,” she said once Matthew was done. “if Simon asks, can you tell him they’re bear tracks?”

                “Okay.” He nodded. “Will what you’re doing lead to a fight?”

                She shrugged, and replied honestly, “It might. But I promise, I’ll leave you out of it. I’ll just blame John for everything.” Matthew was about to respond with a concerned look on his face, so she added, “Kidding. But, if it goes wrong, your name will never come up.”

                “Got it. I’ll do as you wish. May I go back to writing now?” He turned to leave; his question already answered. Ruth grinned after him.

                John sighed and rolled his eyes. “Talking with that man was exhausting.”

                Ruth turned to him. “I am going to throw your tent in the river.”

                “I thought it was Simon you were mad at!”

                “It is, for now.” She tried to give him a foreboding look. “Don’t push me.”

                “I won’t.” He shrugged innocently. A rustle came from the woods. John squinted against the sun and looked in that direction. “It’s Simon! Hide!” The pair hid behind a tent, their eyes barely poking out.

                Simon came, his arms laden with buckets of water. He set them down on the ground then turned to his tent. “What?” He inspected the tent, which was in massive disarray. About fifty percent of it lay on the ground, and the rest was covered with crumpled blankets and berries. “Andrew, look at our tent!” He called Andrew over. “What even happened?”

                “I don’t know.” Andrew shrugged. He caught Ruth’s eye peaking behind the tent. Say. Nothing. He winked at her and turned back to the tent, feigning shock. “Wow, this is crazy.”

                “Crazy? Something destroyed our tent while I was gone.” Simon inspected the ground. “Oh, no. I’ve got to talk to Jesus about this.”

                “Why’s that?”

                “We might have a hungry bear among us,” He looked around with trepidation. Ruth tried really, really hard not to laugh. “I’ll go tell the women to put the lids on all the jars of food.” He ran off.

                “Now?” Ruth looked at John, who covered up his laughter beside her.

                “Yep.” He nodded. They made quick work of the tent, putting everything back the way it was. Ruth covered the tracks with her feet, brushing the dust over them. She gently picked up the berries, shoving a stray few in her mouth. She backed into her own tent.

                Simon arrived with the rest of the group, and Ruth pushed open the flaps of her tent like it hadn’t all been rehearsed. “Simon?” She asked, and she hoped her face looked at least somewhat concerned. “What’s wrong?” Simon talked to Jesus as he led the group over to his tent.

                “Like I said, Rabbi, I think we should move camp. There might be bears in these woods.” He walked backwards, not seeing his tent at the end of the row. “Just look at this tent.” He gestured behind himself, keeping his eyes on Jesus’s face.

                “That certainly looks like a tent.” Jesus nodded, keeping a straight face.

                “What- Rabbi, don’t You see?” At that point, Simon turned around. His tent was perfectly normal, just as it was that morning. “What?” He put his hands behind his head and looked at the sight. I was certain-“ He turned back around to the group. “I was certain something had ransacked my tent. Andrew, didn’t you see?”

                Ruth caught his eye and gave an imperceptible shake of her head. Andrew replied, “Uhm…”

                “You were right here when I discovered it!”               

                “Well, it was sort of messy. I might’ve not made my bed this morning.” He shrugged.

                “Andrew, you-“ Simon pinched his forehead. “Whatever. I’m going to go do the wash. Shalom.”

                “Shalom shalom,” Jesus waved with a small smile as Simon walked away. The group dispersed, returning to their previous tasks. He turned to Ruth and John, who stood there looking very non-innocent. “Now, what are you two troublemakers doing?”

                “It wasn’t us,” Ruth shrugged with a barely contained grin. “It was the bear.”

                John put his hands behind his back. “You know, Rabbi, you should really get that bear situation checked out.”

                Jesus chuckled, shaking His head. “What will I do with you two?” He paused, pointing a semi-threatening finger toward each of them. “Tell him what you did tonight, okay?”

                “Rabbi,” John feigned shock and horror, “we do not wish to die at the hand of Simon bar Jonah.”

                He rolled His eyes with humor. “You’ll be fine.”

                Ruth jumped, “Wait, so does this mean You won’t tell him until we’re done?”

                “I suppose I won’t tell him,”

                “Yes!” She beamed. “This officially means you’re in on it. Do You want to do the secret handshake?” She held out her hand, and Jesus did the handshake perfectly. She opened her mouth wide in amazement. “You knew it?” She turned to John in surprise. “He already knew it!”

                John grinned. “Yeah, I don’t think you should be shocked.”

                “That’s true, because He’s the best Rabbi in the world.” She turned back to Jesus. “Now, if You’ll excuse us, we have a tent to re-dismantle.”

                They messed up the tent again. Matthew helped them replicate the bear tracks, this time in a slightly different position. Simon came back, carrying a basket of wash. “Oh, really!” He exclaimed. He hung the wet clothes on the line before turning to Andrew. “Did you see it? Was it a bear, or something else?”

                Andrew ate an apple innocently. “Sorry, Simon.” He said in between bites. “I didn’t see anything.”

                Simon turned to Matthew. “Hey, know-it-all!” Matthew flinched, preparing for a verbal onslaught. All Simon asked was, “Are these bear tracks?”

                Matthew pretended to flip in his notebook for a couple seconds, looking for notes of bear tracks. “Uhm, yes, I suppose they are.”

                “See!” He turned to Andrew. “There’s got to be a bear, somewhere. And I’m going to make it my job to find it.” He looked around the camp, inspecting every tent for signs of destruction. “Nothing, except in my tent.” He squinted. “Huh.”

                “I think this bear just likes us,” Andrew shrugged. “Thinks we’re special.”

                “I don’t need any of that out of you.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m going to go out into the woods. See if I see signs of any animals.”

                “I’ll go with you,” Philip offered, grabbing his debark-er. He winked at Ruth.

                The tent was immediately restored to new. Mary caught Ruth and John in their efforts. Ruth turned around, forcing an innocent smile. Mary exclaimed, “Oh, look at you two! You’re so kind for fixing Simon’s tent. I don’t know what messed it up the first time.” She leaned in and whispered, “don’t worry, I won’t tell.”

                “You are so awesome,” Ruth whispered back.

                Simon came back to a perfectly normal tent. He turned to Philip and said in deadpan, “Philip, do you think I’ve gone insane?”

                “Well, I haven’t known you long enough to tell.” Philip shrugged.

                Simon laid down on the ground, staring at the clouds. “Maybe life on the road has messed with my head.” He joked, “Maybe Andrew poisoned me and I’m feeling the effects.”

                “Don’t give me ideas!” Andrew called back.            

                “Wow, sounds like a lot has been on your plate so far today.” John stood over him with a bowl. “Want some pomegranate seeds?” John, I literally told you he hates pomegranate seeds! Also, what is your obsession with putting salt on things?

                Simon reached for the bowl. “Well, they’re not my favorite, but I don’t hate them.” Oh, guess I was wrong. Is it Andrew who hates pomegranates? Or maybe it was Big James. I forget. “At this point, I’ll take what I can get.”

He took some out and chewed them. After a couple seconds, he spit them out and wiped off his tongue furiously. “Why are these salty?” He was answered by a pair of teenagers who couldn’t stop from bursting into peals of laughter.

Chapter Text

The next morning, they packed up camp and headed on their way. Once they settled in, Mary started giving Ramah an exceedingly long and boring lesson on how to read. Jesus, Simon, Andrew and Philip got to go see John the Baptist. Ruth crossed her arms and sat in the corner of the tent, pouting. I want to go see John the Baptist. That’s what we came here for, isn’t it?

                “Agh, I’m sorry, I can’t remember the rule for that one.” Mary said as she tried thinking of whatever Hebrew rule she was trying to think of. “No, hold on, it’s really frustrating.”

                “Let’s take a break?” Ramah suggested.

                “No,” she said sharply. Ruth’s head popped up at the unusual tone of voice. What’s up with Mary? She hasn’t been the same after she collected fruit this morning. “Sorry. Uhm… go ahead.”

                Ramah continued reading, but Ruth wasn’t listening. “Mary?” She asked. “Is something bothering you?”

                “No, nothing.” Mary smiled with a smile that was a little too genuine. “I’m alright.” She stared at Ramah as she read. Wow, she’s definitely not alright. Ruth’s mind wandered off again. She noticed Matthew staring at the tent while chopping vegetables. She waved, but he didn’t return her gesture. Oh, wait. Her eyes followed the path of Matthew’s concerned gaze, landing directly on Mary. Ruth held in a giant grin.

                She walked out of the tent, looking for something to do. Mary walked out soon after, pacing. Her eyes darted around, like she was waiting for something to crawl out of the woods and attack her. “Mary, are you sure you’re alright?” Ruth walked up to her. She said with a grin, “You can tell me anything, you know.”

                Mary smiled distractedly at her. “Just… not cut out to be a teacher, I suppose.”

                “Nonsense! You’re a great teacher. One of the most patient I’ve known. How else would you have not thrown my loom into the sea after every weaving lesson?” She chuckled. “It’ll take time. It took me seven years to learn how to read.”

                She turned her head back, interested. “Did your father teach you?”

                “No, and he’d be mortified if he knew I knew how. Benjamin and Zipporah, the tea sellers, taught me. I read out loud while the tea was brewing, then we’d all share a cup.” She smiled, her head filling with the memories.

                “Yes,” Mary turned away again, her head filled with memories of her not so bright past. “You know, I saw… a Roman, today. While I was picking persimmons.” A Roman? Why is she afraid of them? Ruth followed her as she climbed back into the tent. She listened, making sure to not interrupt. “And I just dropped my basket and ran.” Mary shook her head. “Totally ignored the prayers in my hands.”

                “This is hard,” Ramah sympathized. She smiled a little, “Not just the readings.”

                She returned the smile, less uneasy now. “Not just the readings. Do you want to try again?” Mary, I’m so so happy you’re okay, but this means that I have to sit through Ramah trying to read Hebrew again. I’m going to go see if the men need any help preparing food.

                As soon as she got out of the tent, she heard a horrible scream coming from the woods. Her heart pounded. “Mary, Ramah!” She poked her head back in the tent flap. Ramah got out quickly. Mary held her head in her hands. Ruth offered a hand, and she took it. “Mary, do you know what’s going on?” Ruth asked hurriedly. The older woman said nothing, staring at the ground.

                Thomas and Matthew ran over, ready to fight. Thomas held a knife in his hand. And Matthew held… a wooden spoon? “Ramah! Ramah!” Thomas whisper-yelled as he ran over.

                “What’s that sound?” Ramah whispered back.

                “I don’t know.”

                “Mary?” Matthew leaned to Mary, wooden spoon still in hand. “Are you okay?” Mary still didn’t answer. She seemed like a statue, frozen in a state of eternal horror.

                A man came out from behind their tent, growling like a dog. Ruth started to back behind Matthew, then noticed Mary’s face. Whoever this man is, he just made my brave friend crumble in fear! If she can’t fight, I’ll fight for her. Bring it on. She held her hands in a fighting position, trembling all the while. I could beat him in a fight. Probably. Possibly. The man came closer and closer.

                “That smell,” He said in a voice that sounded like dripping evil. “It’s on all of you, but worse!” Ruth was distracted from her panic for a moment and sniffed her dress. I took a bath in the river yesterday! And this is a new dress!

                “Don’t come any closer,” Matthew took a step, holding out the wooden spoon like a sword.

                “Yeah, or I’ll beat you up.” Ruth added unhelpfully. She punched the air with her left hand.

                Mary walked right for the man. “Stop.” She pleaded. Ruth’s heart dropped, sure that this would be the last time she saw her friend alive. Do you have a death wish? Ruth had never seen someone die before, and she didn’t want today to be the first time.

                “Lillith?” The man whispered. Oh, wait. Oh no. Ruth’s eyes widened. Okay, either he knew Mary when she was Lillith, or… she paused.

                “I don’t answer to that name.” She walked forward, her spine fully made of steel. “It’s Mary.” Ruth had never admired her more than she did in that moment.

                “Of course, Lil.” He said condescendingly. “They told me about you. All seven of them.”

                “My name is Mary.” She gritted her teeth. “It was always Mary.”

                “The stories they had,” He continued. He took a couple steps forward. Ruth braced herself for a fight. “You’re scared.”

                “What’s your name?” She whispered.

                “Belial,” He lifted his head in defiance, “spawn of Oriax, Fifth Knight of Legion.” That certainly isn’t a Hebrew name. Ruth trembled. Sounds… demonic.

                “No.” She gently shook her head. Her chest rose and fell quickly, but her face stayed calm. “What’s your real name?” At this, the man spasmed and squirmed like a great viper was trying to weed its way out of his stomach.

                “That smell, it’s on all of you!” He spat.

                “What did your mother call you?”

                “C-c-c-“ He choked on the name, like saying it would kill him. Come on, say it! “C-“ His demeanor suddenly changed, and he stood upright. “Can’t say.” He shrugged and chuckled.

                “Please… say your name.” Mary looked earnestly into his eyes, so she wasn’t prepared for when Belial lunged toward her. Another man who had seemingly appeared from thin air tackled him. He threw Belial to the ground like he weighed nothing more than a sack of flour. Then, he pulled out a knife. He inched closer to the man. For some reason, Ruth felt pity on this broken Belial whose real name started with C. Don’t kill him. She crossed her fingers. Don’t kill him.

                “Leave,” the man with the knife said. Belial grinned and lunged for him, tackling to the ground. The knife fell out of his hand. For an agonizing moment, it seemed like Belial was winning. He choked the man.

                “Out!” She heard a voice from the field, and it was like everything in her let out a breath. Everyone in their group recognized this Voice, even the demons in the man. “Out of him!” Belial’s back went rigid. He collapsed on the ground. The man- formerly with knife- backed away and stood up. The danger had passed. They all stood silent at the scene. 

                “Yeah!” The man whom she assumed was John the Baptist broke the tension with a shout. Ruth beamed at him. Okay, I think we’re going to be friends.

                Jesus walked closer to the man. He knelt down and gently turned him over. “It’s alright,” He said. “Welcome back.” The man still shook with tears. “I know. It seemed like it would never end. And yet, it has. What is your name?”

                “Caleb,” The man said quietly, and it was the best introduction Ruth had ever seen. Tears pricked her eyes, and she was so focused on the scene- and on trying to keep quiet- that she missed something particularly important happening behind her.

                 “A good name.” Jesus said, like He had named the man. Well, He probably did. He is the Son of God, after all.  “Let’s get up, Caleb.” He offered Caleb a hand, and they stood up together. Jesus hugged him, “My son.”

                John the Baptist looked over at the unfamiliar man, who recently just saved their lives. “When did you pick up the Zealot?”

                Ruth looked at the man, seeming to just now notice him. “Oh, you’re a Zealot? That makes sense.” He still sat on the ground, breathing hard. He stared at the place where Caleb used to lay in shock. I’m assuming the shock isn’t because he almost died. John helped the man up. Ruth grinned. Our Messiah just keeps doing amazing things. You know, if He can cast out demons, then He could definitely… quiet, Ruth’s brain!  

                Simon walked toward the man, eyeing him suspiciously. “Who are you?”

                “Simon,” the man answered.

                “No,” Ruth shook her head. “That won’t work. We’ve already got a Simon.” He’s not as cool though. Bet you could beat him in a Simon versus Simon fight. She smiled at her own silent joke.

                Jesus held up His hand, “They’re both Simons.”

                Simon the Zealot turned his face to Jesus and choked up. He asked, “Did.. did You heal my brother in Jerusalem, Rabbi?” Wait a minute, that guy we healed was your brother? What an amazing coincidence. She looked to Jesus, who nodded. Nevermind, I should’ve known. You did that on purpose, didn’t You?

                “Then You are…” He couldn’t believe his own words.

                “I am.” Jesus smiled.

                “And where are Your armies?”

                “They’re right here,” He gestured to the group with a smile. Simon scanned the group, looking slightly disappointed. Ruth waved at him. If he’s a Zealot, then he’s probably expecting us to be battle-ready. I’m certainly not a soldier. She contemplated this. Why did Jesus choose a bunch of random people? He’s the Son of God, He could’ve picked anyone. This Simon guy is the only warrior we’ve gotten so far, if he’s even joining us. So… what’s going on?

                Jesus said with a slight smirk, “Not the fearsome warriors you pictured by My side when you were in the catacombs?” Simon gave a tearful chuckle. “There are more not here at the moment.” At this sentence, Ruth finally took her eyes off Jesus and observed her surroundings. Where’s Mary? She looked to the edge of the tent, where Mary kept her bag. It was gone. “Let’s take a walk, Simon, son of Zebulon.” He gave each person their task. Finally, He said, “Ruth, Ramah. Check on Mary, please.”

                Ruth nodded and immediately walked with purpose outside of camp. Ramah caught up to her. “I didn’t even notice she had left,” She looked around with increasing worry. “Where do you think she went?”

                “I have no idea,” Ruth said, with increasing worry. Something has bothered Mary all day. I’m worried she’ll have run away. And what if… she couldn’t bear to think of what could happen to her. What if she wants to leave us? I don’t want her to leave. I have to find her and convince her not to leave.

                They looked inside the tent, and all over the surrounding area. They looked where Matthew’s tree sat, and in all of the tents. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Ruth bit the inside of her cheek. I need to talk to Jesus, she decided even before she was done searching.  We need to find her. He’ll know how to do it. She curled her fingers into her hand, feeling increasing worry. I really, really hope she’s not dead.

                 Well, you could pray about it. The thought burst into her mind like a match in a dark room. She hadn’t really come up with the words to her own prayer since that day on the beach.  Talking to Jesus was as easy as swimming in the Dead Sea, but for some reason talking to God seemed like a different task. She began with a whisper, “Alright. Uh, hi, Adonai. Please keep Mary safe. Don’t let her die.” The words fell out of her mouth. She whispered the words again, “Please keep Mary safe. Don’t let her die.”

                 “Who are you talking to?” Ramah turned back from her search.

                 “God,” Ruth answered honestly.

                 “We should say the words,” She suggested. “That Matthew taught us.”

                 They interlocked their hands and said together, “If I ascend to Heaven, You are there. If I make my bed in the depths, You are there.”

                 Ruth let out a breath. “Well, I have no idea how that relates to what’s happening right now. But it made me feel better.”

                Ramah smiled. “Me, too.” She slowly let out a breath. “I think we should wait until Jesus comes back from His talk with the new Simon. When we tell Him about Mary, He’ll know what to do.” She walked back to the camp, the only sign that her friend was missing being a slight damper on her mood.

                “He’ll know what to do,” Ruth repeated with a grimace. The sky clouded over, and as the day waned on, Ruth went crazy with the waiting. She paced back and forth, back and forth throughout the camp.

                “Ruth?” Matthew noticed her agitation. “You have made seven hundred steps across camp in the past hour. Are you okay?”

                “No,” She bit out. “I need to speak to Jesus.” The comfort that the prayer had given her quickly left. She forgot the words she had so recently learned.

                “He is currently speaking with Simon the Zealot. I’m sure He’ll be back soon.”

                “Soon!” She wheeled on him, stopping her pacing. “Soon, soon! Everyone keeps talking about soon! Well, soon, my best friend might be dead! How’s that for soon?!” Matthew went silent and walked away. Curse it, now I feel bad. The wind went cold, and the tall grass that was full of life yesterday swayed threateningly.

                Andrew came toward her, his eyes full of worry. “Ruth, what’s wrong?”

                “I cannot believe no one has noticed,” She said, her voice dripping with malice. You all are sitting around the fire like nothing has gone wrong. “She’s gone.” Her breath rose and fell quickly. “Mary’s gone.”

                “Well, she probably just needed some time alone after what happened today.”

                “She would’ve told me if she needed time! She’s my friend.” Tears flooded to her eyes, and she tried to shut them out. The evening sun appeared, filling the sky with a burst of red. Still, nothing happened. Ruth hated it when nothing happened.

                “Do you want to come to the fire? It’s getting cold.” He gestured to the fire, which offered safety, warmth, a measure of comfort.

                “Nope.” She chewed on the word. She refused to be comforted. Not tonight.

                Andrew walked back to the fire. She heard his conversation with Simon, “Apparently, Mary’s gone.”

                “Gone?” Simon squinted. “Well, with what happened today I don’t blame her. I’d spend my day in the woods too, if I was her.”

                “That’s what I thought.” She felt Andrew’s gaze on her. “But Ruth seems worried.”

                “It’s Ruth. She overreacts like that.” Simon, you don’t get it! She looked up at the pink and orange streaks across the sky, and desperately wished she could paint them. Back in Capernaum, she would’ve run to the market to catch Jesse, the seller of fruit dyes, just before his shop closed. She would’ve used the flat side of her stylus to gently scrape the colors across the parchment. It was a beautiful sunset, unfit for a horrible day. The words of their conversation flowed in, “If the sun sets and she’s still not back, then it’s time to worry. But not now.” The sun completely set, and there was no sign of Mary.

                  Finally, she saw Jesus coming from far away, Simon the Zealot trailing behind Him. She ran to Him, completely ignoring the cool Simon. “Rabbi!” She said frantically. “I need to speak to You.” The dark sky seemed to light up when He was near.

                 “I know,” He said, keeping His calm demeanor. It annoyed her to no end. “Simon,” He called Simon bar Jonah over. “Can you introduce… Simon to the group?”

                 “Of course, Rabbi.” Simon took… Simon by the shoulders and led him over to where the disciples sat around the fire. “You’ll like this group.”

                 “Yes, Ruth?” Jesus said with a small smile. “I am listening.”

                 “Mary is gone!” She burst, tears coming to her eyes. “We looked for almost two hours. And no one’s been listening to me, that something’s wrong!” Her voice made a crescendo into a near yell. “No, they’re all just like, ‘ohhhh, she just needs some time alone’! No! I know her! She would’ve told me if it was only time alone!” She grew quiet again. “She would’ve told me. We need to go look for her. She might…” want to leave. “She might be in danger!”

                 “Ruth,” He placed a hand on her shoulder, and she shrugged it off. “Calm down first.”

                 “Calm!” She laughed, angry worry seeping through her veins. “Oh, trust me, Rabbi, I am calm! I’m super calm, because my best friend isn’t out there on her own, where there are Romans and bears and thieves and horrible people! Out there she’s… she might want to be… she might want to be Lillith! Here she’s Mary! So, she’s got to come back here!”

                 “Do you think she wants to be Lillith again?”

                 “You know, I don’t like it when You do that.” She shook a pointed finger at Him. “You make it about me and what I’m going through or whatever. Nothing’s wrong with me!” Nothing’s wrong with me, I’m just losing the best friend I’ve ever had. “Something’s wrong with Mary! So, we need to look for Mary! And I don’t know why anyone else-“ She gestured accusingly to the group around the fire, “isn’t scared out of their minds! Three things.” She whipped her left hand into the air. “First, it’s night. I can hear the coyotes howling! Second, we’re near Jericho. Jericho is one of the most dangerous cities, known for kidnapping people into the slave trade! I know that, my abba told me that!” She shook with a mix of anger, sadness and nervous energy. “Third, yes, I do worry that she wants to be Lillith again! For the love of Adonai, she just witnessed a demon-possessed man! Don’t You think that might’ve reminded her of her past? And before that, something was already wrong with her!”

                 Her world was completely rocked. Up until this point, she had never worried about anyone this much. Mary was actually in danger. Ruth didn’t have the safety of her home or the market to retreat to. It wasn’t Capernaum anymore- this was the real world, and snakes rounded every corner. And no stylus or parchment could save her friend now. I wish I had just looked at Mary. Maybe I could’ve convinced her to not leave. Jesus smiled sadly at her. “Ruth, My daughter.”

                 At this point, she broke into a sob. “Don’t call me that, I’m trying to be mad at You.” He wrapped His arms around her, and she accepted the gesture. She sobbed into His shoulder, finally feeling some sense of safety. “I’m sorry,” she said through sobs and hiccups, “for yelling at You there.”

                “I forgive you,” He said comfortingly. “And Mary will be okay.” 

                “Really?” She looked up at Him, and through the blur of tears His face felt like home.

                “Really. You want to know something?”

                “Hm?”

                He gestured for her to walk with Him, and they made a circuit around the camp. “I admire your loyalty to her- to all your friends. You’re fiercely loyal to your friends, and you’re willing to fight for them. You also have a hunger to do what’s right, and to make things right. You have a fiery righteous anger in you. Although,” He winked, “as you and I both know, sometimes that gets you in trouble.”

                She thought of the week before she met Jesus, the week after she met Jesus, and many moments after that. “Indeed,” she agreed wholeheartedly.

                “I have observed that you are like a storm on the sea. Great winds blow, waves crash, thunder booms, lightning strikes. But through all that…” He beamed, “I have a plan for you. Your gifts- and weaknesses- will be used for My glory, My Storm Girl.”

                “Storm Girl.” She rolled the name around in her head, beaming as she did so. “Storm Girl, Storm Girl.” She relished the way the words sounded on her tongue. “I like it!” A concerned pearl of thought still rolled around her mind. But what about Mary?

                “And as for Mary,” Jesus said, and Ruth shouldn’t have been surprised. “I will send two of the men to look for her tonight.”

                 “Thank You,” She nodded, the storm quelled for the moment. “Who will You send?” She asked, hoping it would be the Zealot. That guy could punch anyone who tried to hurt Mary.

                 “Hmm. I was thinking,” He said with a mischievous smile, “Simon and Matthew.”

                 “You were thinking who?”

Chapter Text

She hurriedly packed two bags for Simon and Matthew to take to Jericho. “Wait,” She stopped the two before they left.

                “What?” Simon crossed his arms.

                “One, find Mary. Two, be careful. Don’t gamble, don’t drink, and don’t get into any fights. Especially fights you can’t win.”

                Matthew tilted his head. “Why would we do any of those things?”

                “That’s exactly right.” She leveled long looks at both of them. “And lastly…” Tears sprung to her eyes, which she tried desperately to avoid. “Bring her home. Okay?”

                “I will, I promise.” Simon put his hands behind his head and began, “Look, kid, I’m sorry for all…” he waved his hand in the air, unable to capture the idea.  

                “I know.” She sighed deeply, “I’m sorry, too. Just… find her. Bring her home. Then we’ll talk.” Her feet turned to walk away, but something stopped her. She added hurriedly, “And, if it isn’t too much trouble, bring yourselves home too.”

                “We will. Come on, Matthew.” Simon turned toward the path to Jericho. “Let’s go.” Ruth stared at them as they walked away. Lord, I hope they come back alive.

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                “Good morning,” Ramah greeted her early the next morning. Ruth had barely slept a wink, tossing and turning the whole night.

                “Not really,” She grumbled a reply.

                “Well, I suppose not. But I was just being polite. Mother Mary wishes to teach us about edible plants in the wilderness.” I would rather do literally anything else. Ramah added, seeing the younger one’s scrunched up face, “We are running low on food.”

                “We are?” Ruth propped herself up with her left hand. “I couldn’t tell.”

                At this, she looked to the ground sheepishly. “Mary made me promise not tell you.”

                “Tell me what? That we’re running out of food? Well, too late now.”

                “No, no. Once the smaller rations started… she began giving you bigger meals and gave herself smaller portions. She knows you aren’t as used to running low on food.”

                “Oh, Mary,” This statement brought Ruth to near tears. “You are too good to me.” She turned to Ramah. “Why doesn’t Jesus just bring her back? I mean, He did tell me she’d be okay. I have faith in Him for that. But it’d save us all a lot of pain if He just did something like sending the wind to sweep her back to us.”

                “I’ve been thinking about that, myself.” She furrowed her brow. “I’ve been worried about Mary. I suppose we can ask Mother Mary why when she shows us the plants this morning.”

                “Alright, then.” She clicked her tongue. She said her morning prayers, and added under her breath, “And Adonai, could You please send Mary back?” With her mind and spirit somewhat settled, she grabbed a basket and headed out of her tent.  

                “Morning, Mother Mary,” Ruth waved to the older woman, who sat by the fire. “I heard we’re going berry-picking.”

                “Yes,” She smiled, grabbing her own basket. “You have much to learn.”

                “That’s for sure. I’ve never seen anything edible outside of a market.” The three walked into the wilderness, baskets in hand. “I’m happy you’re with me, otherwise I’d probably eat a poisonous berry and keel over.”

                “Well,” Mother Mary laughed, surprised. “I’m happy to be here, then.” The next hour or so was a grueling session in what berries were acceptable to eat, and what flowers, and how they could be prepared. Ruth’s mind spun by the time they were done, but it spun with other things than worrying about Mary’s location. For this, she felt grateful.

                “You know Jesus more than we do,” Ruth finally built up the courage to ask. “Why doesn’t He just bring Mary home?”

                Jesus’s mother shrugged. “I have no more idea than you. But there must be some good that can come out of it. Maybe the two He sent- what were their names? The ones who are fighting?”

                “Simon and Matthew.”

                “That’s right. Maybe they will reconcile while they’re searching for her.”

                Ramah scoffed. “If Simon doesn’t kill Matthew first.” Even though he told me he was sorry, there’s probably some truth to that. “There must be other ways for them to reconcile besides Mary’s anguish. What good can come from her being in pain and in danger? She may be in a ditch or dying!”

                “Like I said, I don’t know.” Mother Mary smiled gently. “But I trust my Son.”

                Ruth thought about this a long time. She swung her basket back and forth, spilling some of the flowers she had collected. “I trust your Son too. I just don’t know why He does things the way He does. Or why He speaks in parables. Or why He doesn’t explain the parables afterward.”

                “Maybe you don’t have to know. Maybe you have everything He needs you to have, right now.” She gave a simple smile, like she hadn’t just said a great piece of wisdom.

                “Wow,” She stared at her in awe. “Is there some connection between the name Mary and randomly saying the smartest things I’ve ever heard?”

                She chuckled. “Maybe.”

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                When they came back to camp, everyone looked somewhat depressed. Philip was back from his trip, which seemed like not-depressing news. “What’s going on?” She asked, placing her basket down.

                “I’ve returned with less-than-fortunate news,” Philip crossed his arms and shook his head. He put his hand on Andrew’s shoulder, who looked more depressed than most. Ruth, while concerned, had other things on her mind. She glanced down the path away from camp and noticed a flash of baby blue. Her whole demeanor changed in a second. Philip continued, “John the Baptizer is-“

                “You’re back!” While Mary, Matthew and Simon were still far off, Ruth ran to them, faster than she had ever run before. “Sorry, Simon. Move, Simon.” She tackled her friend with a hug. “Thank Adonai, you’re alive!” Ramah ran behind her, a giant grin on her face.

                “Hello, Ruth.” Mary said through tears. She smiled sadly, “I’ve messed up grandly. I suppose I am not your best friend anymore, huh?”

                “What?” Ruth squinted. “No, why would you think that? Obviously, you’re still my best friend. That’s a given.” She said with a giant grin, “Nothing you could ever do could change that.”

                “Really?”

                “Come on, Mary.” She joked. “I thought you were wise.” She glanced at her normally-put-together best friend. Her hair was in a giant tangled knot. Her dress was covered in dust, and her eyes were red from crying. “Goodness, Mary,” she said with concern, “You look like you’ve been to Gehenna and back.”

                “I haven’t looked in a mirror, but I bet I do.”

                “Come on, now,” she and Ramah led her to their shared tent, “We’ll get you cleaned up.”  

                “Is He in camp?” Mary asked, and Ruth instantly knew who she meant.

                “Yes, He is.” Ramah placed Mary’s head covering over her hair. “He was the one who sent Simon and Matthew to come get you.” Oh, right, those people exist! I must thank them, several times. Maybe even send them a gift basket!  

                Ruth added, “You can’t avoid Him forever.”

                “I know.” Mary sighed. “But I don’t know how I can face Him. He…He saved me, and I messed up again.”

                “Mary, He’s Jesus. You know, the Man we’ve been following all this time? Healer, Redeemer, Friend? Jesus?”

                She chuckled tearfully. “I know that, too. I just… I know He forgives, but He forgives those who sinned before they met Him. What happens to the people who sin after?”

                Ruth scrunched up her nose and thought about this. Ramah said quietly, “I don’t think there’s any harm in seeing what happens.”

                Ruth added, full of more confidence now because of this, “Yes! And I’m positive He will forgive you. I bet my…” She felt around for an article of clothing that she could bet and be sure to not lose. “Gold earrings on it.” She took the earrings off and placed them on the floor of the tent.

                Ramah grinned, “I’ll bet my bag on it.” She shrugged the bag off. “Now, go. Reintroduce yourself to our Shepherd. For, we have a faithful Shepherd.”

                “We do,” She grinned, tears pricking her eyes. “Remember the parable He told in Samaria? About the ninety-nine sheep? You, my friend, are the one sheep He will never hesitate to run after.” She hugged Mary, clutching her and promising herself that she’d never let go again. She paused, adding a little humor to her voice,  “Though, I think if you were a sheep I’d be concerned, because your wool would be pink and blue.”

                Ramah shoved the younger girl playfully, as they all burst into tearful giggles. The three came out of the tent as a unit. Mary walked ahead of them to Jesus’s tent, shaking all the while. “We’re right behind you,” Ruth called. She breathed a deep sigh of relief as Mary walked into the tent. “I honestly was worried I’d never see her again.”

                “Me neither.” She contemplated, fiddling with her red veil. Tears flooded to her eyes, “I’m so happy she’s back.” She began to sob quietly.

                “Agh!” Ruth jumped back, startled. “Adonai, are you alright?”

                “Sorry, sorry.” She wiped her eyes with her veil. “I’ve just been relatively calm this whole time, and now that she’s back, I can finally let it all out. She’s home now.”

                “That she is.” Ruth placed a hand on Ramah’s shoulder and watched the clouds move with the brisk wind. Today, she didn’t want to draw any of it. She just wanted to soak it all in.

                When she was finished soaking in the scenery, she saw Simon staring at her. “What do you want?” She asked briskly. Ugh. Him. I’ve forgiven him, and I hope we’ll still be friends. But he is interrupting Mary's whole moment!  

                Simon began, “Two things. One-“

                “Well, they’ll have to wait. I’m waiting for Mary.” She crossed her arms and stared at Jesus’s tent. “She’s going to come out of there, forgiven, I’m going to hug her, cry, and do a little dance, and then I’ll talk to you.”

                “Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.” He followed her gaze, squinting at the tent. “You think He’s going to-“

                “Yes. God does not see sins as worse than other sins.” She looked at the clouds, purposely directing her gaze away from Simon. “Nice weather today.”

                “Look, kid-“

                “I told you; I’m waiting for Mary.”

                “Well, you’ll want to hear what I have to say immediately. I bear some sad news, and some news I don’t know is good or not. Depends on how you hear it.”

                Finally, she relented. “Fine, then. If you must. Don’t tell me the sad news, though. Not yet. It’s not a day for sadness.”  She flicked her braid off her back, still facing away from him. She gave a delicate little annoyed sigh, adding to the drama.

                “Alright.” He sighed, gearing himself up. “Look, kid, I’m sor-“ She turned around and hugged him. “Oh. Okay.” He patted her head awkwardly. “So, you’re done with the stoic act?” He asked with a smirk.

                “Yeah, it got boring.” She backed away and held out her left hand for him to shake. “I’m sorry too. I still think you were wrong, though.”

                “I still think you’re wrong,” He returned as he shook her hand. “But I’m sorry for how it turned out, anyway.”

                “Me, too. And I’m still going to fight you any time you’re mean to Matthew, I’ll just be your friend afterward now.” She paused, then added with a slight catch in her throat, “Thanks. For bringing Mary home.”

                “I promised you I would, didn’t I?” He shrugged. “And…” He added after a pause, “I forgive you.”

                “I forgive you too. Sorry, I forgot to say that.”

                “I’m not talking about that fight,” He grinned. “I’m saying I forgive you.” She beamed as she realized what he was saying. “You being a thief doesn’t make you any less my friend.’

                “You being wrong doesn’t make you any less my friend.” Her eyes caught on Matthew, who followed Philip around the camp. “But… as my friend, could you do me a favor?”

                He followed her gaze. “Oh, no. You’re serious?”

                “I am serious. You don’t even have to pretend to like him. Just leave him alone!”

                The waterwheels in his brain turned as he considered the proposition. “Alright,” he finally decided, “I’ll leave him alone. I suppose he was helpful in getting Mary to return with us. It was rough to see her like that, and I’m not above admitting he handled the situation better than I knew how to.” Every sentence seemed like it physically pained him.

                “See!” she said with a giant goading grin, “You’re doing better already!”

                 “You are not helping.”

                The flaps of Jesus’s tent finally opened. Ruth’s attention was immediately redirected. “Well?” she asked, leaning forward.

                “Wait,” Simon protested, “You didn’t hear the second piece of news!”

                “I’m sure it’s not as important as Mary.”

                “I wouldn’t be so sure, since because of this news Andrew is quite distr-“ Ruth had already run away. “Ai, whatever. I’ll let him tell you himself.” He walked away, muttering something about infuriating teenagers.

                “What’d He say?” Ramah asked. Mary was crying, and Ruth had no idea if that meant the news was good or bad.

                “He-“ She choked up, going silent for a handful of agonizing seconds. He what?? “He forgave me.” She chuckled. “I should’ve known He would. I am redeemed.”

                “Yes!” Ruth grabbed Ramah and Mary’s hands and led them in a dancing circle. There was no music, not that it mattered. They ran around and around until she thought her head would explode from the spinning. Praise Adonai, it was like each step and each burst of laughter spoke, praise the King!

Chapter Text

                “Fine, I’m ready to hear your news.” After the tears and the laughter had quieted down, she finally went to Simon, who sat at the fire.

                “I decided I’m not the best person to tell you.” He shrugged. “You better hear it from Andrew.” He poked at the flames, avoiding her gaze.

                “Seriously?” She rolled her eyes. “It’s like I have to go on a scavenger hunt just to hear a bit of news.”

                “Well, you wouldn’t have to go on a scavenger hunt if you had listened to Philip earlier.”  

                “There were interesting things happening, thank you very much.” She had forgotten how much her eyes rolled to the sky when she talked to Simon. She found it somewhat fun.

                “Alright, I’ll give you that. But haven’t you noticed the sullen mood that’s been going through camp for hours?’

                She looked around. The tents seemed more dull than usual. The time for evening meal had come and gone, and still some poked at their plates. Andrew sat at the edge of camp, near-silent tears coming from him. She realized she had not seen a smile on anyone else’s face today besides Jesus and the women. I don’t get it. This camp should be full of life, singing the songs of David! Mary has come home! Don’t any of you get that? “Not really,” She answered honestly.

                “Uh huh.”

                “This must be pretty bad news.” She sighed, the atmosphere deeply disquieting her. “I’m going to talk to Andrew now.”

                “It is bad.” He raised a finger at her. “So be gentle.”

                “I’m always gentle.” She walked to Andrew, who sat staring at the sky. She followed his gaze- the sky had burst into the most beautiful sunset. She looked to Andrew, expecting him to be enjoying it as much as she did. It was like the life had been sucked out of him and been replaced with frigid air. “Hiya. What’s up?” She offered a smile, which he didn’t return. “Simon told me you had unwelcome news. We’re friends again now, so that’s good.” He didn’t even crack the smallest grin. “Must be pretty bad news.”

                “It is,” was all he could say.  

                “So I’ve been told.” She glanced at him and saw tears coming to his eyes. “Goodness, are you okay?”

                “I feel like,” He moved his hands around, searching for the words. “I feel like worry has me in a chokehold, and I can’t escape if my life depended on it.”                

                She tilted her head. “What are you worried about?” I suppose there are a lot of things to worry about on the road. But I’m not that much of a worrier.

                “I can’t believe you haven’t noticed,” he said with a smattering of spite in his voice. The words hit Ruth like a slap in the face.

                “Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” She replied quietly. “I’m noticing now.”

                “John the Baptist has been imprisoned.” He turned his head away from her, his voice choking him. “In Herod’s most high security prison. And I… am so afraid that I can’t even move.”

                Ruth had absolutely no idea what to do with that information. I can’t tell him it’s going to be okay, because I don’t know if it’s going to be okay or not. And I can’t say ‘I’m sorry for your grief’ because then he’s going to think that John the Baptist is going to die and he’s probably not! “Oh.” Was all she could manage to say. An idea came to her head. “Do you want to come sit by the fire?”

                “No.” He stared at the sunset, seeming like a statue. He added halfheartedly, “Thanks.”

                “Are you sure? It’s getting cold.”

                “I’d rather stay in the cold. It suits the feeling of my heart better.”

                “Alright. Then I’ll stay here too.”

                He looked over, surprised. “You don’t have to-“

                “’Drew, don’t argue with me.” she offered him a smile, “You’ve known me long enough to know that’s of little use.”

                “I should’ve guessed you’d say that,” he chuckled wryly. “You know, John was the first real friend I ever had.” Ruth opened her mouth to protest, but he continued, “I know, I know. I had you and Simon. But for a long time, I only saw you every other Tuesday, and Simon’s, well… Simon. When John asked me to follow him, I didn’t know what in the world I was doing. I knew I was excited for the Messiah, and John would prepare the way. I certainly wasn’t ready to spend most of my time on the road. But… John helped. He became like a second brother to me.”

                “And now you don’t know what’s going to happen to him, and you can’t help him out of his danger.” She motioned for the women to come over and sit with them. “Huh, sounds like something I have experience with.”  

                “I’ll give you that. But,” he gave a small smile, “you never seem to be afraid, Ruth. I’m absolutely terrified.”

                “Well,” Mary offered kindly, “I know a little bit about terror.” The rest of the disciples slowly gathered around the group. Little James led them all in a repetitive hymn that was easy to catch onto. Afterward, Philip told a really bad joke, leading to a really bad joke contest. It got colder, and the fire burned to ashes behind them. But Ruth grinned, as she couldn’t be warmer inside.

                Eventually, Jesus came and sat with them. “Why are you all sitting out here, My children?”

                Nathanael said through chattering teeth, “I’m wondering that, myself.”

                “Solidarity.” Ruth said firmly. “What we go through, we go through together.”

                “I’m not sure solidarity will take care of our dwindling amount of food.” He muttered.

                Ruth grew frustrated at the very non-peaceful, non-solidarity-y atmosphere that had been created. “Matthew, could you please do your calculation thing?” 

                Matthew quickly calculated the amount in his head. “We have enough money to buy… half a cup of lentils. That is enough servings for three people for one meal.”

                “Three very small meals,” Philip observed.

                “But we picked berries and flowers today,” Ramah interjected. “Can’t that tide us over for a couple meals?”

                “Maybe for tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s breakfast, yes. But we don’t know when we will receive more money.” The mood in the group grew more agitated. The light of the stars seemed to dim as they faced serious problems.  

                Thomas said, “Rabbi, You said that we would go to the nearby synagogue to get our food. But will they accept us? Besides, tomorrow is the Sabbath.” Concerned whispers traveled throughout the night. This is extremely non-peaceful!

                Andrew spoke up, stunning the whispers into silence. He said confidently, “But, Rabbi, You’ve got a plan.” He added, somewhat less confidently, “…right?”

                Jesus grinned, “Of course.”

Chapter Text

               The next morning, they went out walking again to the settlement nearest them. Ruth’s stomach grumbled, and she longed to walk back into her house and ask the cook to make her challah coated in fig jam and served with persimmons. Then, for lunch, she’d have the best beef- Ruth, stop your brain. Thinking about food is only going to make it worse. She decided to go talk to Simon, who probably wouldn’t help the boredom of walking.

                “Hey, Ruth,” He greeted her. He whispered with a smile, “I’d bet you’d like to know something that I learned about Matthew while we were in Jericho.”

                Ruth raised a brow. “I’m pretty sure I already know whatever you’re about to tell me.”

                “Well, I’m sure you don’t. See, I asked Matthew what description he gave of Mary at the synagogue. And he said that she was ‘unusually pleasant to look at’.”

                “Unusually pleasant to look at, huh?” she gave a mischievous grin. “That just confirms my suspicions.”

                “How did you have any idea? I was surprised when he said it!”  

                She laughed uproariously. Heads turned, so she quickly covered her giggles with her veil. “Everyone within two stadia of Matthew at any given moment can sense it. Just watch him now,” She and Simon went silent to observe the man. Though he spoke with Philip, he kept turning around to look at Mary and Ramah walking together.  Ruth snickered, “He’s almost as bad as you were with Eden.”

                “I was not that obvious.” He folded his arms.

                Andrew picked a piece of clover from the cart and joined in their conversation. “You were that obvious, actually.”

                “Really?”

                “Possibly even more so.” He smirked. “It was all ‘Eden’ this, ‘Eden’ that, right up to your wedding day. And even since then, it hasn’t stopped completely.”

                He chuckled, putting his hands up. “It’s not a crime to love my wife. Her laugh is one of my favorite sounds. And, you know, she makes the best lamb stew I’ve ever had. She cooks potatoes-“

                Ruth put a hand up, “I know, I’m friends with her. And don’t talk about food, it’s making me go crazy.” She glanced at the tall grasses bordering their path. “Do you think that grass is edible?”

                “Might be,” Thomas examined it. “But it’s Shabbat.”

                “So, it’s… unlawful to eat grass?”

                “No,” Big James added with a roll of his eyes, “first of all, these are grain stalks. The bumps on the end are called the heads of grain. Second, it’s unlawful to reap or harvest on Shabbat. In the book of Leviticus, God commands complete rest on the Sabbath. So, it’s forbidden to do any work, including reaping.”

                “Including eating?” Ruth asked incredulously. James simply shrugged in response.  

                They walked into the city, to the tiny synagogue. Only a couple people sat on the edges of the building. The pillars and floors were dimly lit, lending a rather depressing atmosphere to the whole thing. A priest and a Pharisee stood at the end of the room, near the podium with a scroll on it. The Pharisee at the podium droned on, “No Ammonite or Moabite may enter the assembly of the Lord.” Well, good to know. She followed the women to their spot, standing by a pillar. “Even to the tenth generation.” Must we stay for the entirety of this service? I mean, don’t get me wrong, Adonai, I love You. I love Your words! However, I am going to die of boredom.

                Jesus remained in the light part of the synagogue, not finding a spot on the edge. He walked over to a man sitting down. “Shalom,” He said quietly. The man eyed him with suspicion, leaning away from Him. “Were you born this way? Your hand?”

                The man nodded, showing a withered hand. Oh. “Uhm, yes.” Jesus took the man’s arm and gently inspected it, turning it over with care.

                The Pharisee stopped his endless droning. “Excuse me! What are You doing?” I take back my dying of boredom. Ruth grinned. This has just gotten interesting.

                Jesus kept speaking to the man, “What is your name?”

                The man looked from Jesus to the Pharisee and back again, his eyes wide. “Elam.” He finally said.

                He turned to the Pharisee and said more loudly, “Your friend Elam has a withered hand.”

                “Are you a healer?” The priest stepped forward. “It is unlawful to heal on Shabbat.”

                He sighed in annoyance. He looked upward for a second, as if consulting His Father. Ruth stifled a chuckle. He began, “Which one of you,” Ruth leaned in and geared herself up for a lesson, “if you have a sheep who falls into a pit on the Sabbath will not lift it up out of the pit?”

                “Who are you to speak to our congregation like this?!” The priest stepped forward into the light, the gold of his garb glinting angrily. Like what? Asking them a question? She smiled as she realized the reason for their rage. You just don’t like that He showed you up.

                “Is not this man worth more than that sheep?” He asked, almost astonished that they were so angry.

                “Stop this,” The Pharisee left the podium to yell at Jesus, “Stop this at once!”

                “Come here,” Jesus held out His hand to Elam to help him up. “Come into the middle. It’s okay.” Elam tentatively stood up. And now we get to the fun part. The two stood in the center, bathed in light.  

                “Elam, stop it! We don’t know this Man!”

                “Is it lawful on Sabbath to do good or harm?” He asked again. This was one of the rare times that His questions actually made sense to Ruth. “To save life or to take it?”

                “This doesn’t threaten his life!”

                The priest added, his face turning red, “It doesn’t even affect his health!”

                Jesus ignored them both and took the man’s hand. Ruth leaned closer, watching Him in action. Immediately, the marks of unuse on the hand faded. “Go on,” He said to Elam encouragingly. “Stretch it out.” Elam obeyed, and the hand stretched and grasped the air like it had a life of its own. Ruth grinned, even as tears came to her eyes. She felt a burst of happiness, and then it faded away. Why can’t He do that for me? She didn’t remind her brain to stop, this time.

                Why not me?

                The Pharisee turned beet red, forcing Ruth back into reality. He spewed, “If God wanted him healed, He would’ve done it Himself!”

                He said with a mischievous grin, “Interesting point.”

                “Get out!” The priest yelled.

                “Gladly.” He started to walk out and beckoned the disciples to follow Him.

                “What is Your problem?!”

                “Apparently, everything.”

                Ruth felt a rush of giddiness as she ran to catch up with her Messiah. In her childhood, she had always pictured the Messiah as a stern warrior king. Everywhere he went, he bore a crown and one of those swords she once saw Simon and Andrew messing around with. But this Messiah, she admired Him, this Messiah is much more fun.  She beamed all the way out of the settlement and was still beaming when they set back upon the path.

                “Alright, so for those of you who didn’t see,” Simon walked backwards, addressing the group with gleaming eyes. “Jesus interrupts synagogue just by standing next to the guy with the hand problem.”

                “Because He’s just that awesome,” Ruth interjected.

                “Exactly. And then,” Simon grabbed a handful of the heads of grain and went to pour them into his mouth. The group stopped and stared at him. “Then the priest just went- what?” He finally noticed the grain in his mouth and spit them out. He turned to Jesus apologetically, “Sorry, Rabbi. I’ve been so hungry I forgot what day it was.”

                Jesus gestured to the stalks, “You may.” They waited with tension, examining His face to see if He was joking. After a couple seconds, they all dove for the stalks. Ruth found the heads of grain to be a little dry, but other than that they tasted alright.  

                She turned to find that the priest and the Pharisee had run all the way to them. “Out of the way!” They commanded. She backed up, hoping they didn’t see the massive handful of grain she had just shoved into her mouth. They ran to Jesus. “You are a blasphemer! You have made a mockery of synagogue!” The priest exploded.

                The Pharisee began, “Give us Your name, Your town, Your lineage, Your-“ He turned around. “First You and now Your disciples are doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath!”

                Jesus calmly said, “Have you not read what David did when he was hungry? He entered the house of God in the time of Ahimelech the priest,”

                Ruth elbowed John, “Are you writing this down?” She whispered.

                John replied through his teeth, “No, I’m too busy listening!” Well, I’m listening too. It’s just you can’t multitask.

                Jesus continued, “and he ate the Bread of the Presence, which was not lawful for him to eat. It was reserved for the priests.”

                The Pharisee asked, disgusted, “You compare Yourself to David?” Come on. Jesus can’t compare Himself to David, because there’s no comparison. Obviously, Jesus is much better.

                “Or have you not read that in the Temple, the priests profane the Sabbath but are guiltless?”

                “That is for Levites! Do You call Yourself a Levite, of the lineage of priests?”

                “Listen carefully.” He leveled a glance at them. “Something greater than the temple is here.” Ooooh, they’re not going to like that. I love it when that happens. “And if you knew what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice’, you would not have condemned the guiltless!” He sounded like a parent berating a child, but His voice had the essence of something more. Don’t you try to tell Him what to do, she grinned, slightly intimidated, because He was there when the rules were written.

                He stepped forward, the sun behind Him like a crown. “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. So, the Son of Man is Lord, even of the Sabbath.” These moments induced in Ruth’s mind a consideration of her strange, paradoxical Rabbi. He had authority, but He also ate with tax collectors and sinners. He had brown eyes, but also golden ones.  “Let’s go.”

                Ruth weaved around the shocked priest and Pharisee with a grin, having no choice but to obey her Messiah.

Chapter Text

               Ruth and a bunch of the disciples sat around Jesus as He planned His sermon out loud. This was going to be one of the biggest sermons He’d ever done. It wouldn’t just be yelling at Pharisees anymore. Ruth had to continually remind herself to keep her head on her shoulders so it wouldn’t float away in a fit of excitement.

               She ran through her assignment mentally. Her job was to go to the nearby towns and spread the news- and also, if possible, use her connections to ask market vendors to spread the word among their colleagues. She and Tamar had two weeks to spread the word to five towns while Mary and Ramah worked on papyrus notices. Her bloodstream thrummed with the thrill of it all. I’m part of something important! Me! Jesus is counting on me!

               “I need you to understand why we’re doing this sermon,” Jesus explained. “It’s not about gaining more popularity. It’s about the people listening. The details are important, yes, but I want to reach people’s hearts.”

                “Like you did with us?” Nathanael asked.

                “Yes, something like that.” He grinned. “You’ve been given your various assignments. But through all of your work… do not forget the heart. Can you do that for Me?” They nodded enthusiastically. “Good. Now…” His smile and voice faded as He noticed something behind Him. Ruth turned, and what she saw made her brow furrow in annoyance.

                Romans. Why are they here? They always have to ruin everything. A whole pack of them walked toward the disciples, like wolves circling a kill. Ruth bit her lip. The Sons of Thunder stood up, preparing for a fight. Jesus gave them a warning look, to calm the storm. The Romans surrounded the group, taking the high ground on the small beach.

                “Jesus of Nazareth!” A bald Roman said in a loud, commanding voice. Ruth recognized his face from somewhere- no way! He’s the one who almost made Matthew not come with us! What a jerk. “You are sought for questioning by Roman authority.” Questioning? Why? He hasn’t done anything wrong! “Will You surrender to detainment peacefully?”

                Please say no, Rabbi. “Yes,” Jesus said, with all the calmness as if He was agreeing to a state dinner.

                “Jesus, no!” John protested.

                He held up a hand, “It’s okay, John.”

                “Are you armed?” The Roman asked gruffly. Ruth wanted to smack him.  

                “I am not.” Jesus responded calmly. Am I armed? Ruth felt around in the pockets of her dress. Curse it, I don’t have John’s knife anymore! John has John’s knife! Use your knife! “But some of my followers are.” At this, the Romans pulled out their swords. Oh, this is bad. She huddled closer to Mother Mary, who backed behind Nathanael. See, I would be behaving bravely as I did with the demon-possessed man. However, Mary isn’t here, and that man didn’t have a sword. Or… seven swords.

                “Tell your followers to drop their weapons and step back ten cubits.”

                “I will.” He nodded. “May I say goodbye to my eema first?” He gestured to Mother Mary. The Roman tilted his head. “Mater mea.” He said, and Ruth assumed it was the word for eema in Latin. The Roman nodded. He turned to the group, nodding comfortingly, “I will be back.” Jesus hugged Mother Mary, telling her not to worry.

                Not to worry? Not to worry?! I feel like this is one of the main times we should be worrying! They’re taking Him away! But… Jesus doesn’t seem afraid. Just like He wasn’t afraid when Mary left. If they tried to hurt Him, He could use His Messiah powers and escape. Right?

                Ruth watched as they bound the hands of her Messiah and led Him away like He was some common criminal. She watched the group of red and silver as they tramped away from them, taking Jesus with them.  Maybe He’ll be okay. For some reason, she had a sinking feeling that this wouldn’t be the last time she watched an arrest happen.  

                The disciples had gathered around the fire, finding nothing to do but wait. Ruth fidgeted endlessly. He said He’d be back, she repeated in her mind, He said He’d be back. “What happened back there?!” Simon angrily shouted as he and Andrew ran to camp from an errand on the beach. They had seen all of it play out but had heard none of the words Jesus had spoken. He said accusingly, “You just stood there while He was arrested?”

                “He was specific,” Big James argued. “He told us to put away our weapons!”

                Thaddeus added in correction, “Detained, not arrested.”

                Simon threw his hands up in frustration. “Oh, detained! Those are just words! Have you no experience with Rome?”

                Andrew paced, putting his hands behind his head. “We have to go after them.”

                “Are you out of your ever-loving mind? They’re Romans! Besides, He agreed to surrender peacefully.” Ruth interjected.

                “No!” He yelled, then said more quietly, “No.” Andrew, are you okay? Ruth kind of understood it, because it was the same way she had acted with Mary. But Jesus specifically told them not to worry, and He knew things that Mary didn’t. So, Ruth would try her best to not worry. “What if they change their minds?” He said, his voice flooded with desperation, “Have you forgotten what they’re doing to John?!”

                Oh, so that’s what this is about. Mary put her hands around Mother Mary, “Please, you’re scaring her.”

                “No, I’m alright.” Mother Mary pat Mary’s hand, her whole body trembling.

                “Well, I’m going!” Andrew said fervently, his own voice choking him. “They’re headed north! I’ll catch them in Jotapata and… and petition for His release.”

                “Andrew,” John responded, his voice level, “He didn’t ask for your help.”

                “He shouldn’t have to!” He looked with malice at everyone. “I don’t recognize any of you!” The words cut Ruth to her heart. Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t recognize you either.

                Simon placed a hand on Andrew’s shoulder. Andrew shrugged it off. Simon said carefully, “Brother, you’re not yourself.” Andrew started walking away from the group. Ruth felt a twinge of sympathy as she observed him. Maybe I should go after him.

                “Maybe I should come with you,” Mary stepped forward. “I feel I may be responsible.”

                “Maybe you are responsible!” Andrew wheeled on her.

                Now this was too much. “Andrew!” Ruth yelled at him. Every ounce of sympathy was replaced with righteous anger. Mary looked like she wanted to sink into the dirt. Tears pricked her eyes, though she tried to hide them. This stirred up Ruth’s temper even more than before.

                “How could you leave?” he continued, disgust littering his voice.

                “Just stop it!”  She tried stepping in front of Mary, protecting her best friend from her other best friend. “Don’t you dare do this.” Andrew glared at both of them and stormed off. Simon ran after him.

                “It isn’t anyone’s fault,” Ruth crossed her arms and addressed the group. None of them seemed to really be listening. “Well, it’s the Romans’ fault. But other than that, it’s no one’s fault. To say so is just looking to place blame where there is none.” She turned to look at Andrew, but he had run off. His words still hung thickly in the air, but he was not there to feel their effects.  

                “Mary, please stay in camp,” Philip picked up his bag and held out a hand. “I’ll accompany Andrew. I have lots of practice waiting for my rabbi outside jails.”

                “Why wait?” Simon the Zealot- whom Ruth had grown accustomed to just calling ‘Zee’- crossed his arms. “We could break him out.” She examined his face, making sure he wasn’t joking. He wasn’t.

                “I don’t think…” he sighed deeply, sensing the mood in the group, “Don’t wait up for us,” He followed a storm-filled Andrew out of camp.

                They continued arguing about what to do. Their argument seemed to go on for hours, though the sun had not even yet set. Nathanael said, “I don’t understand what could be clearer about the three words: ‘I will be back.’”

                Matthew corrected, “That’s four.”

                Zee added, “Maybe it’s a metaphor. Like we’re supposed to be the fulfillment of those words.”

                “Or maybe,” Ruth suggested, with only a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “It means He’ll be back.”

                ‘Zealots,” Nathanael rolled his eyes. “All your secret handshakes and codes.”

                “See, secret handshakes do exist!”

                “I am not a Zealot.” Zee leaned forward, looking straight at Nathanael with an intimidating stare. “I am just zealous.”

                “You just interpreted plain speech calling for peace and no worry as a secret code for insurrection!” Nathanael threw his hands up.

                “I think he’s on to something,” Big James folded his arms. “Rabbi emphasized how important this sermon was. We can’t let anything stop it.”

                “With Zee’s skills, we could do it.” John shrugged. You really think that a bunch of fishermen and one trained fighter can go up against the Romans and escape alive? Yeah, nice try.

                Mother Mary chastised them, “James and John, be mindful of what He named you.”

                “Seems perfect for a time like this!”

                Ruth rolled her eyes. “Look, normally I’d be up for your crazy plan, because it sounds cool and I love a good fight. But I know my Rabbi. And I know that He can do anything He wants to.” She considered her hand before shoving it in her pocket again. “And we all know He’s the Messiah. If He has to Messiah His way out of there, He will!”

                “Why are you so calm all of the sudden?”                                                                                                 

                “Because I trust Him,” She shrugged. “If He was anyone else, believe me, I’d be a lot more worried. But my life now hinges on one thing: my faith in Him. If I don’t have that, I don’t have anything.”  Wow, Ruth, where did that come from? I kind of liked that.

                Mary added, “I think we should listen to Him and just stay here.”

                “Oh, coming from the woman who disappeared for two days!” John rolled his eyes.

                Ruth’s jaw ticked. Not you, too! “How dare you?” Her pride at her own words disappeared and turned into anger with John. Her brow furrowed dangerously.

                Matthew added bravely, “Don’t talk to her like that.” You go, Matthew! Get ‘im!

                “Look, he speaks!” John gestured angrily toward the man. “Suddenly he has a voice. When it’s about her!”

                “You’ve made mistakes too.” Simon added quietly. Ruth grinned. Wow, the Messiah really has come. Simon in defense of Matthew? I never would’ve dreamed of it.

                “Yeah, John, like the one you’re currently making by being an idiot,” Ruth added unhelpfully.

                “Children, stop it!” Mother Mary spoke up. She caught the surprised stares from the group. “You’re certainly acting like children.” The words stunned them into silence, like they had just gotten a rebuke from their own eema.

                “I made a mistake leaving camp. I was wrong.” Mary said forcefully, taking advantage of the quiet. “I’m sorry I relied on my own observation, my own understanding, so heavily.” She paused, then added more quietly, “Jesus said He will be back. I will wait for Him. Come on, then.” She led Mother Mary away from the fight. Ramah followed. Ruth stayed, wanting to yell at John some more. “Ruth bat Barnabas.”

                “Currently, I have no respect for you.” Ruth said to John quietly, with the same anger as a yell. “What does Mary have to do with any of this?!” she waited for his answer, which he didn’t give. “Yeah, thought so. You are no better than she is. And maybe, just maybe, you could listen to her for once.”

                “My point still stands. How does she expect us to stay here and do nothing while she couldn’t do the same herself? It’s hypocritical.” He added, “Why are you friends, anyway? You are both so different.”

                “I want you to know that it’s only because I’m a woman, and because I love Jesus so much, that I don’t punch you in the face. Mary has learned from her mistake. I don’t think you have.” Her voice rose with her frustration, “So go! Go to Jotapata or Rome or wherever else you want to go! Just show off your lack of trust in Him, why don’t you?! I don’t care. But know this: I won’t be going with you, and I’m going to try to convince everyone in this camp to do the same!”  

                “Of course, I should’ve expected that much. You’d put our rescue mission in danger just out of spite for me. Wow, Ruth. I suppose you are just like Mary.” He said with disdain and rolled his eyes nonchalantly. The haughty expression on his face made her see red.

                “You know what, I don’t care if I’m a woman, I’ll punch you here and now!” she lunged forward to shove him, pushing him back only a step. The only damage it did to John was the damage a red cloth does to a bull.  

                “Oh, is that how it’s going to be? Alright, then. You want a fight? I’ll fight you.”

                “John!” Big James scolded.

                John ignored his brother and said to Ruth, “Come on. Shove me again, see what happens.”  

                Ruth grinned, “Gladly.”   

                “Storm Girl!” Mary called again, her voice more stern than Ruth had ever heard it.  

                “If I knew how to spit, I’d spit on you, Son of Thunder!” She stomped away, following Mary.

---------------------------------------------------------------

                “He’s back!” Zee called. The group ran toward Him as He tramped out of the wilderness. Ruth’s whole body sizzled with a mix of feelings- anger at Andrew and John, pride that she was right, joy at seeing Jesus again, and a bit of relief.

                “Rabbi! Are You hurt? Were You followed?” Simon asked hurriedly.

                 Jesus shrugged. “I was let go. Quintus just wanted to talk to Me. Right now, the Romans don’t see Me as much of a threat.”

                “Hopefully that’ll change soon,” Zee grinned.

                “I’m very happy you are back,” Matthew nodded with a grin. “Where were You?”

                “I was in the wilderness, praying.” Jesus nodded. Wait, seriously?  “Remember, we have a big sermon to prepare for. I prayed for guidance and focus with My words.”

                “You were what?” Ruth burst. “Sorry.”

                 Big James added, “With all due respect, Rabbi, You couldn’t have at least told us You were back first? We were worried sick about You.”

                Jesus said calmly, “Did I not tell You that I would be back, and to keep planning?” He took a deep breath and continued, “You will have to learn to do this, good or bad. Things are only going to get more difficult.” Well, that’s not really something I want to hear. “You can’t just shut down when you’re fearful. And, what are you going to do when I’m no longer here?” When He’s no longer here? What does that mean?

                 She wondered, so she asked Him. “Rabbi, wha-“

                 John spoke over her, “We are still learning all this.” Excuse me. “But we can do better.” Uhm, no, you can do better. You were the one who wanted to break Jesus out of prison. And you insulted Mary for literally no reason! She contemplated her own actions. Fine, I can do a little bit better. Just a little bit. I didn’t have to shove the guy. “Philip said that the Baptizer taught his students a prayer in addition to the daily traditional prayers. Could You give us a prayer like that?”

               “Now,” Jesus grinned, “Now you’re behaving like true students. Prayer is the first step in getting the mind and the heart right. It’s why I do it so often.”

               “So, teach us,” Simon asked boldly, “to pray like You do.” The rest of the disciples nodded behind him. I always thought we Jews knew how to pray. Her mind flitted back to that afternoon on the beach, and she grinned. Well, maybe there’s more to know.

               “When we start to pray, we first want to acknowledge our Father’s greatness.” Wait a minute, Adonai is our Father too? Not just Yours? “So, we say, ‘Our Father in Heaven, hallowed is Your Name. And we always want to be sure to do God’s will, not our own.” Oooh, I don’t like that. I’ll have to get used to that. “So we say, ‘Your kingdom come, will be done, on earth as in Heaven.’ And then…” When He was finished, they all repeated the prayer and then went to their tents.

               Ruth stayed behind and turned to Jesus, “Rabbi, You said ‘when I’m no longer here’. What’s that mean? You’re not going to leave us, are You?”

               He smiled sadly at her. “That is a conversation for another time.”

               “I don’t like that answer,” she blurted out.

               “I know. I will tell you and the others more when you’re ready to learn more. For now,” He added, a little mischievously, “you’ll learn to live with it.”

               “I guess I will.” She smiled. “Also, what’s hallowed mean?”

               “It’s a fancy word for holy. I know I said you don’t need the proper words to speak to My Father. But sometimes it’s respectful to add a fancy word here and there.”

               “Okay.” She nodded, mentally taking note of this. “In that case, then, I think You’re very hallowed.”

               “Thank you.”

               “Night, Jesus. Shalom shalom.”

               “Shalom shalom.” Ruth turned to leave, but her steps stopped at Jesus’s voice. “Oh, and one more thing. Apologize to John in the morning, okay?”

               She frowned deeply, her lip jutting outward in a pout. “He was mean to Mary,”

                “I know. However,” He grinned, “you didn’t have to shove him. Or threaten to spit on him.”

               She shrugged. “Yeah, I’ve thought about that. I’ll apologize for that. But,” she added in her defense, “he shouldn’t have brought Mary into it. She’s been through enough already; she doesn’t need people to keep bringing up her mistakes.” She thought of Andrew, whom she was only slightly less mad at than John.

                “I know that too.” He smiled, beaming down on her like her abba did when she was small.

                She paused, recounting the evening. “… I did it again, didn’t I? The whole kinda-losing-it thing?" 

                “Yes."

                "Sorry, Rabbi."

                "I forgive you. Remember how I said your care for your friends combined with your temper can cause trouble? Those words are still true, Storm Girl.” He ruffled her hair through her veil. “John is your ally, and I hope he’ll be your friend.”  

               “My friend?” she shuddered at the thought.

               “You have more in common than you think. Remember that.”

               “But he-“

               “Remember that.” She turned her face away so He wouldn’t see her involuntary deadly glare. Of course, He saw it anyway. “For Me?” He added with a smile.

               “Alright.” She grumbled. “I’ll try my best. For You.”

               “Thank you. And I’ll be here to remind you.”

               “Oh, I am sure of that, my most hallowed Messiah,” she elbowed Him with a crooked grin, then her demeanor dropped. “Rabbi, I’ve got something to ask You. After the big sermon.”

               “I figured,” He nodded, and Ruth caught a glimpse of what His answer would be. She shoved aside the glimpse, holding onto hope that she’d get what she wanted. “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll listen.”  

Chapter Text

                The next morning, Andrew and Philip came back, bringing an Ethiopian woman with them. Ruth ran to them and said a quick hello to Philip before turning toward the Ethiopian woman. “You’re the one I helped in Capernaum, right? Tamar?”

                “Hey, Ruth,” Andrew waved. Ruth shot him a quick wave combined with a deadly glare.

                “Yes, I am she,” Tamar nodded, “I don’t remember your name, though.”

                Ruth grinned. “I’m Ruth bat Barnabas, and I absolutely adore your jewelry.” She gestured to Tamar’s thick headband embedded with jewels and the layers of necklaces adorning her chest. “Some around here think that just because we’re on the road we can’t be fashionable. While I don’t have as much jewelry as that, I decorate myself well enough.” She leaned forward and showed her gold earrings and her gold chain around her neck.

                “Helloooooo,” Andrew said. “Shalom, Ruth?”

                Tamar beamed, “Yes, I love it! Is your jewelry special to you? Mine was gifted to me by my mother, and my father, and many of my relatives. Each bead is…”

                “Ruuuuth?”

                She turned backwards and squinted. “Why don’t you say hello to him?”

                “Trust me, you don’t want to know.” Ruth offered her arm to Tamar, not thinking. Tamar hesitated. “What’s up?” Ruth tilted her head. “Oh, that’s right. Eh, I don’t mind.” Ruth grabbed Tamar, and they walked arm in arm to camp. “Are you here to join our Rabbi?”

                “If He allows me to,” she walked to the center of camp, where the campfire was. She sat on the ground, even though there were logs right there. Tamar, I like your style. “I am not sure He will.”

                “Oh, I’m sure He will.” Ruth grinned and sat on the ground with her. She popped up and exclaimed, “That’s right! I spent sixteen years of my life learning manners; I better make use of them now. Do you want any water?”

                “Do you have any…not-water?”

                 “Well, we’ve got pond scum. And sweat. But I didn’t think you’d like either of those things, so I didn’t offer them.”

                She grinned, swishing her black braids behind her back. This showed her bright red dress and green covering, which shone in the sun. “Alright, then. Water.”

                Nathanael stopped by with an armful of logs and saw an unfamiliar woman sitting on the ground and drinking water with Ruth. “Who are you?”

                “That’s Tamar,” Ruth answered, “and she’s my friend. If Jesus says yes, she’ll be joining us.”

                “I don’t think He will say yes,” He said with a squint, “for she is a-“

                “My friend.” She crossed her arms, daring him to argue.

                “Oooooookay, then. Do you even know where Jesus is?”

                “Nope. No clue. So, she’s going to stay here until He comes back.” She said forcefully.

                “Alright, alright!” he set the logs down and backed away like he was backing away from a poisonous snake.

                Andrew came over, a sour look on his face. “I’ve returned,” He slumped down by the fire, propping his back against a log. “But you’ve been ignoring me.”

                “You have returned, and for that I thank Adonai,” Ruth said, clinking her water cup against Tamar’s. “However, if you haven’t noticed, I am currently mad at you. Besides, I have a new friend to greet.”

                Tamar turned to Ruth and said in a lowered, teasing voice, “Andrew here apparently was quite perturbed with me on our journey. He glared at me the whole way here.”

                Ruth gave Andrew an accusing look. “You glared at my new friend?”

                “I-“ He sighed in annoyance. “She was spreading the news about Jesus healing the paralyzed man!”

                “Good for you!” She high-fived Tamar. “I knew I liked you.”

                “It was foolish and dangerous! What, with Jesus being arrested!”  

                “Detained.” She spotted Jesus coming from the wilderness. She waved her arms and said sarcastically, “Look, Andrew, it’s a miracle! He came back, and you didn’t have to go to Jotapata to go get Him!”

                 “Oh, I see. Your sour mood is all to blame on Jotapata. I was trying to help.”

                “Oh, yes, you were quite helpful.” She nodded, crossing her arms. “You were especially helpful when you blamed Mary for everything.”

                “Is that what this is about? A one-off comment I made in panic?”

                “Kinda, yeah. Also, the whole running-off-to-Jotapata thing.” She looked at him in slight disgust. “Now that was foolish and dangerous. You and Philip could’ve actually died.”

                “Jesus could’ve died!”

                “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh,” She nodded in overexaggerated understanding, “Jesus could’ve died. Especially after He said, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be back’. That increased His chances of dying tenfold.”

                “I wasn’t there to hear His words!”

                “No, but if you had stayed around and listened to us instead of immediately panicking, you would have heard them!”

                “Well, you didn’t keep a level head when Mary disappeared! You paced around camp for hours! How could you not understand my concern for our Rabbi?!”

                She bit out, “I do understand your concern, Andrew. But our Rabbi, let me remind you, is the Messiah. He can do whatever He wants. Mary, however, cannot. If she was in danger, she couldn’t just Messiah her way out of there. Jesus can.”

                “I just-“ He pinched his forehead, “Ugh. Fine, then. You know why I said Mary was at fault?”

                “Alright, tell me.” She crossed her arms and leaned back against the log. “My ears are wide open.” This better be good.

                “We had to stay an extra two days to search for her, and…maybe if we had moved the Romans wouldn’t have found us.”

                “That is literally the weakest argument I’ve ever heard! You know, you could’ve just apologized for being crazy instead of trying to back it up with logic the strength of straw.” She talked more with her hands as she got more annoyed. “Oh, maybe, if it hadn’t rained on the third day of the week, the Romans wouldn’t have found us! Maybe, if we covered six miles a day instead of five, the Romans wouldn’t have found us!”

                “I just don’t understand how someone can run away like that, leaving people who love her, like you, to panic! It was horrible. Does she not understand the pain she caused?”

                “Uhm, no no, no no no, no no.” She waved her finger with each ‘no’. “You’re not blaming your dumb opinions on concern for me. I won’t take any part in that. Now, since you obviously have your own problems to work out, and you’re my friend and I don’t want to fistfight you, I’m going to take Tamar to see Jesus.” She stood up and held out her hand for Tamar to take.

                Andrew crossed his arms and leaned further against the log. Ruth rolled her eyes. He’s just mad because he got proven wrong. Jesus didn’t actually need his help, and he got all worked up over nothing. Also, what’s with him blaming Mary?! Seriously, he’s being so annoying, and he just got back. She took Tamar’s arm and led her to where Jesus sat on a log. Jesus got up and beamed.

                “Ah, Tamar. Good to see you again,” He grinned. He turned to Ruth, “I’m going to talk with her for a little bit. In the meantime, I think you’ve got something you promised Me you’d do this morning.” Wait, what? Oh, that’s right. Uuuughhh. Fine. I did promise. And I’m sorry my anger got away from me. She walked over to John, who talked with Big James, Zee, Simon and Andrew as they chopped wood. Ruth tried to ignore Andrew, who glared at her. Oh, so it’s like that, then. She glared back.

                Ruth crossed her arms and spoke to John. “John? May I speak with you?”

                He shrugged nonchalantly, “Whatever you have to say, you can say in front of everyone here.”

                “Fine. I’m sorry for shoving you, nearly fighting you, and threatening to spit on you.”

                “You’re not sorry that you yelled at me?”

                ‘You’re not sorry that you yelled at me?’ she repeated internally in a mocking voice. You’ve got to be kidding me! And this guy is supposed to be my friend?! “Yes!” she said forcefully, almost yelling. “Yes, I’m sorry for that too. I’ll try not to let my temper get away from me next time.”

                “Okay.” he turned back to his work.

                “Hold on!” she growled. He turned back around, and she began, “While I am sorry about the way I handled the situation, I’m not sorry for being angry about it.” she stepped closer, seeming taller than John though she was a head shorter. “Now, I’m supposed to be your friend, so I’ll try and forgive you ‘cause that’s the right thing to do.”

                “You’re supposed to be my frie-?!" 

                “Listen to me!” her voice increased in quiet intensity, “Don’t you ever say anything like that about me or Mary again, Son of Thunder. Okay?”

                “Uhm, okay?”

                “Good!” She backed away and gained a shaky smile that threatened to turn into an angry frown. She placed her hands on her hips. “Have you apologized to Mary yet?”

                “For what?”

                “For what? For what?! Did I not just explain to you-?!” she took a deep breath and somehow kept her smile. “For being horribly rude to her last night, reminding her of her past, and accusing her of hypocrisy when she was just trying to help.”  

                “No, I haven’t.” He looked to Big James for assistance. Big James grinned and went back to chopping wood. “I’m sorry for how I escalated it, but I still think Mary was wrong.”  

                She could feel her eyes twitching. Every bone in her body ached with a fiery storm. Somehow, Adonai kept all her bones in check. She began, every word taking her at least three seconds to get out, “I know that you feel that way. You expressed that opinion quite eloquently last night. I still strongly recommend that you apologize to her. Soon. Very soon. I am going to leave now. Shalom. Shalom.” She turned to leave.

                “Shalom, shalom!” he called jovially, like the conversation hadn’t affected him in the slightest.

                “John bar Zebedee, you are-” she whirled back around, and the twinge on the back of her neck was more noticeable than ever. “You are… doing great at chopping that wood.”

                Andrew decided this was a suitable time to air out his grievances with Ruth bat Barnabas. “He’s debarking it, not chopping it.” he added with a goading smile.

                “You are doing great at debarking that wood!” she said as fast as she could. With false cheeriness, she continued, “Just look at the lack of bark on that wood! Wow! That wood... has no bark! Fantastic! Great! I'm leaving now!" 

                From across the camp, she heard the familiar sound of Jesus bursting into laughter.

------------------------------------------------------------------------  

                About a week later, Mary came over to Ruth with a stack of papers. “I finished writing the notices for the sermon. You’ve done great reaching people already. Now, they will have notices they can see and touch.”  

                “May I read one? I want to see if I can.” Ramah took a sheet of parchment and sounded out the words. “Jesus… from Nazarene?”

                “The ending denotes that it is a place, not a person.” Mary pointed it out.

                “Ah, okay. Jesus from Nazareth will deliver a sermon on the tenth day of the five- of the fifth month.” She finished with a grin.

                “Yes, exactly!” I told you you’re a good teacher, Mary. Ruth beamed with pride.

                “Oh, by the way,” Ruth handed a stack of parchment to Tamar and turned to Mary, “Did John speak to you last week? I’ve been much too busy to keep up with what’s happening around here,” she joked.

                “Uhm, no.” Mary shook her head. “Why?”

                She frowned deeply. “No reason.” Where is that Son of Thunder? She spun in a circle, looking around the camp. Finally, she turned back around to see John talking with Mary. They spoke in whispers, so she couldn’t hear what they said. When John walked away, Ruth grinned. Thanks, John. Even though it took you a week, thanks.

                “The most amazing thing just happened,” Mary pondered as they walked to the nearest city, papers in hand, “John just apologized to me for the other night. He said that his behavior was foolish and demeaning, and that he forgave me for running away. I’m impressed with his maturity.”  

                Ruth grinned, “I am, too.” Okay, apparently, I don’t have to punch him.

                Tamar turned to Ruth as they walked, “Must I learn to read as well?”

                “Nah, you don’t have to. Mary’s abba taught her a long time ago, and Ramah just wanted to learn. I know how to read well enough. But it’s not a requirement or anything.”

                “Hmm. Okay, then.” She considered this. “I don’t want to read.”

                “Fair enough,” she shrugged.

                “We’ve been spreading the news of this sermon,” She looked at the papers in her hand, “so why couldn’t I tell the news of my friend?”

                “First, because Andrew’s a worrier. And last week, Jesus had been taken away by Romans- more on that later- so we were all on edge. That increased his worrying tenfold. Sometimes it’s useful, sometimes it drives me crazy. Second, a sermon is just a sermon. A healing is something more.”

                Her eyes lightened, “It says that He is the Son of Man.”

                “Exactly,” Ruth gave a mischievous grin, “but for some reason, we’re not allowed to share that information willy-nilly yet. Something boring like the Pharisees and Romans being out for us. First lesson,” she raised a finger, “Pharisees and Romans always ruin everything fun. Although, they make things more fun if Jesus gets into an argument with them.”

                “I will keep that in mind,” She chuckled, and they laughed and talked as they went to the town.  “Where is Jesus, actually? He hasn’t been in camp since I joined you guys.”

                Ruth shrugged, “I have absolutely no idea. But it happens like that sometimes. He goes off and disappears for days at a time, and then He comes back completely fine.”

                “And you don’t wonder where He goes?”

                “Trust me, I wonder. But it’s not like I can go off looking for Him. He’ll come back when He wants to.” She grinned, cherishing the words, “I’ve got faith in Him.”

                They spread the sheets of parchment out in the town, talking to passersby. Ruth practically shoved a notice into the hands of anyone who looked at least somewhat receptive.  

                 “Jesus of Nazareth?” One woman asked Ruth as she looked at the parchment, “Who is He?”

                “Come and find out,” She replied with a smirk.

                They carried out a similar routine

                They carried out a similar routine for about five days, each time getting a heartier welcome. Jesus and Matthew never came with them; she had heard they were working on the sermon itself. She was exhausted, sunburnt, and sweaty every day, but she couldn’t have been happier.

Well, she could have been happier. She and Andrew hadn’t spoken in twelve days. I’m so busy I haven’t gotten a chance to, she told herself each evening, after a day of avoiding him or glaring at him. But, for the most part, her work fulfilled her, and she sung Jesus’s praises as loud as she could.

The day before the sermon, they walked back into camp to find that Jesus and Matthew were still gone. “Have we been advertising something that might not even happen?” Andrew asked, looking around the camp. “What if He never comes back?” You literally cannot be serious.

                “Better go rescue Him from the tall grasses and the mountains,” Ruth muttered. Then, she considered things. Well, last week He talked about not being here anymore. What if… what if this is when He’s not going to be here? He wouldn’t just abandon us without saying goodbye, right? I mean, He’d at least say goodbye.  

                Big James added, “We go to sleep, and He’s not here! We wake up, and He’s not here!”

                “No,” Zee corrected with a smile, “When you wake up, He’s not here. I’ve seen Him go out with Matthew every morning for the past week and a half.”

                “They work on the sermon from dawn until dusk every day?”  

                “I think He’s just trying to get it right,” Mary said with that trademark talking-about-Jesus smile that Ruth loved so much.

                “Can He get anything wrong?” Ramah asked, squinting.

                “Well, I mean right for the people.”

                “What if we’ve all been misled?” Thomas exploded, throwing his hands up.

                “How can you say that?” Ramah turned to him with a look of betrayal on her face. Here we go again. It’s been nonstop arguing ever since Jesus was detained, and even I’ve tired of the fighting.  “You saw what happened in Cana!”

                “Everyone, calm down.” Simon said, and for once Ruth was thankful for his leadership.

                “Sorry,” Thomas seemed antsy, like he’d explode with energy. “I’m just nervous!”

                “We’ve had a long day. We need to get rest so we can go to the mountain early tomorrow morning to help the others prepare.”

                “What if no one shows up?” John asked, his hands behind his head.

                “What if everyone shows up?” Mary responded with a smile.

                “Either way, Simon’s right,” Big James turned to go to his tent, “we need to rest.”

                “You think I’m going to get a wink of sleep?” Thomas asked, his arms crossed as he tapped his foot against the ground. “I just…I just want to make sure I’ve done everything I can for Him.”

                Ramah responded genuinely, “You always do,” She added a smile to her words. Thomas breathed a deep sigh of relief. He was instantly calmed. Thomas, you’re so obvious. Ruth rolled her eyes and chuckled silently.  

                Tamar caught up to her as they went to their tent, “Is Thomas smitten with Ramah, or is he just like that?”

                Ruth laughed, “A little bit of both.”

Chapter Text

                “Ashira l-Adonai, ki ga-oh ga-ah!” Ruth sang and skipped as the group walked to the mountainside. The mountains bordered their path, and they seemed to be singing with her. Nerves mixed with excitement, causing her whole body to tingle. “Ashira Adonai, ki ga-oh ga-ah!”

                “I like that song,” Tamar commented, “What does it mean?”

                “I will sing to the Lord, for He has triumphed gloriously,” Ruth explained. “My abba always sang it at Passover. It’s one of my favorites,” she added with a grin, “I’d certainly call this a triumph!”

                “We haven’t even gotten there yet!” Thomas protested.

                “And it’s a triumph, all the same.”

                Tamar asked, “Will your father be coming to hear Jesus?” Ruth’s happy demeanor dropped suddenly. Oh, I didn’t think about that. What if he comes? What will I say to him? ‘Hi, abba, I bet you didn't think you'd see me here with a Rabbi after I stole a generous portion of your money! Have a good day, shalom shalom!’

                “Probably not,” She shrugged the thought off. “We’re pretty far from Capernaum, after all.”

                Big James added, trying to be encouraging, “Our eema and abba are coming. Maybe your abba made the journey, too.” Ruth stopped talking when she heard that. She chewed the inside of her cheek, trying to deal with that possibility. I don’t know what I’d do if I saw him. I don’t know how our relationship would change. I got a new home with Jesus. I almost forgot about my old home. What will I do about my old home? The thought caused her heart to race.

                Of course I’m sorry for stealing my dowry, but I’m not sorry for running away. She wrestled with herself. I couldn’t go back there. I wouldn’t go back to the way it was for the world. But will my abba ever forgive me if I choose to not come home? If he shows up, I’ll have to apologize to him, which will make me cry, and then things will go downhill very quickly from there.

                Andrew picked up on the storm clouds around Ruth’s head. He said, “I think it’ll be an impressive turnout, anyway.” He looked at the people around them. “Look at all these people. I think there’s at least two hundred going the same way we are.”

                Simon added with a chuckle, “I think your counting skills need work, brother. There’s got to be five hundred.”

                As they got closer to the mountain, the numbers merely grew. They arrived at the spot, where Nathanael, Little James, and Thaddeus set up a thing with large posts, covered by white sheets. At the front of it was a rock, from which Jesus would preach. Mother Mary pulled four colored shawls out of her bag. “Look at Jesus’s tunic,” she pointed out. “He’ll blend into the background the men set up.”

                “You’re right,” Tamar glanced down at the shawls. They had gold, blue, purple or red to choose from. “I think blue will suit Him best. It stands for peace and hope.”

                Ruth chuckled, taking the red shawl. “I agree with the hope bit, but the peace bit less so. Red stands for love and passion. It contrasts nicely with the white He’s got on.”

                “True,” Mary pulled a purple one from the pile, “but He is also a king. Purple is the finest color, standing for royalty.”

                “What about gold?” Ramah took the gold one, “Gold is for prosperity and righteousness.”

                “Gold might blend into His tunic, though,” Tamar argued.

                “We could always ask Jesus,” Mother Mary suggested with a smile. The group walked over to Him and presented the options.

                “Well, you know that I couldn’t care less about how I look,” Jesus chuckled, “What do you think?” The votes were taken, and there were two votes for blue, two for purple, and one for red. Ruth spotted a familiar woman out of the corner of her eye, who spoke with Simon.

                “Eden!” Jesus called to her, “We need a tiebreaker!” He gestured for her to come close. “This is Eden, Simon’s wife.”

                “Hmm,” Eden examined the options, “I think blue.”

                “Blue it is, then.” He grinned. Mother Mary helped him put the shawl across His shoulder. “How do I look?” He spun around.

                “Hallowed,” Ruth answered with a grin. Tears suddenly came to her eyes, which was very unusual. “Like a King.”

                “Well, that’s what I’m going for.”

                “Ashira, ashira, ashira,” She hummed quietly.

                Andrew came to the group, “Sorry to disturb You, Rabbi. I just wanted to prepare You for how many people there are.” His eyes widened, “there are about three and a half thousand.” Three and a half thousand?? No way, you’ve got to be joking. “Not kidding.”  

                “Well, that’s good then,” Jesus smiled, “Guess your notices worked, Mary. Now, if you’ll excuse Me, I must continue preparing.”  The women nodded and went back to their preparations.

                Ruth walked away, and Andrew followed her. “Ruth, there’s something you need to know.” His expression turned somewhat grave. “Your abba’s here.”

                She groaned. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

                “He came with Zebedee and Salome. I saw him while I was counting the crowds.” He looked at her stubborn frame. “I think you should talk to him.”

                “I also think I should talk to him; I just don’t want to talk to him.” She crossed her arms. She peeked her head out behind the sheets. There was her father, stern faced on the ground, in the second row! “Oh, Adonai.” The sight of him made her heart thump as fast as a hare’s steps on the ground.

                 “Hey, don’t panic,”

                “You’re panicking,” She pointed out with a glare.  

                “I’m panicking because this is the biggest moment of my Teacher’s career thus far. You’re panicking because you need to go talk to Barnabas.” He shrugged. “There’s no time like the present.”

                “Hey, Rabbi!” She called to Jesus. “Are you absolutely sure that You don’t need me to prepare anything else?”

                Jesus looked up from His preparations. “No, go talk to him!”

                “Of course He knew,” She grumbled. “Alright,” she turned back to Andrew, shaking out her hands to combat the nervousness. “Will you wish me luck?”

                “Good luck,” Andrew nodded, then added, “and I’m sorry.”

                She rolled her eyes, “I am absolutely not handling two large things at once. Talk to me after the sermon, okay?” she pointed at him as she backed away, “But apologizing to Mary would certainly help things along!”

She went around the sheets and looked at the front row. She locked eyes with her abba, and she had never been more afraid. “Hello, abba.”

                “Ruth!” He stood up and moved to the end of his row. “I haven’t seen you for months!” She couldn’t tell from his tone if he was happy or displeased to see her.

                “I’m sorry for stealing from you,” She blurted out, to get it out of the way.

                “I learned from Zebedee that you are following this Rabbi,” He pinched his forehead, “which sounds absurd. A woman, following a Rabbi! Is this true?”

                “Uhm, yes.”

                “Traveling out in the country- do you know how improper that looks? Do you never think of your father in these matters?”

                “Abba!”

                “Yes?”

                “You didn’t say if you forgave me or not. For stealing from you.”

                “Ah, the dowry. Yes, I forgive you. I still don’t understand your actions, though. I had a perfectly good marriage with Daniel set up, and you ran away out of the blue.”

                “Out of the blue?!” she growled, then said carefully, “Abba, I was unhappy at home. I am happy here.”

                “Unhappy at home? What? No, I came here to bring you back with me,” He squinted, as if he didn’t understand her words. “So that things can go back to the way they were. I now understand that Daniel was apparently unsuitable for you. I will find another, and you will live a happy and proper life in Capernaum.”

                “I don’t want a proper life in Capernaum, I want to stay here.” She added with a sad smile, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but I haven’t been very proper in my life. Ever.”  

                He groaned. “Do you not consider your father’s wishes?”

                “Do you not consider mine?” she groaned in exactly the same tone. “Look, I want to please you. But I’d rather please Adonai.”

                He thought about this for a long time. “You know, your eema was a self-proclaimed ‘free spirit’, like you. She grew out of it, though.”

                “Maybe I will grow out of it. But right now, I’m in it.” She looked at her father, into his hazel green eyes that mirrored hers. “I want to stay in it.”

                “So, you will not come home?” He frowned.

                “No, I’m sorry. I don’t think it’d be good for us. I’d rather be on good terms than see you often.”

                He crossed his arms, “I tried my best to raise you, and now you say you cannot even live with me. You run away to join this Rabbi and abandon your only home!”

                “Well, I don’t think there’s a rule against having two homes. I’d just like to stay a visitor to my old one.” She shrugged. “You know…” Ruth, are you seriously doing this? You’re saying this right now? “I don’t know where we’re headed after this. But maybe you could… walk with us for a while?”

                “I cannot. I have urgent business in Magdala.” He offered, “but, in Magdala I am having dinner at a Pharisee’s home. You could come with me.”

                She grinned, “I think I’d better stay out of that.” She added, “I fear I disappoint you, abba.”

                “You are your own person. That does not disappoint me.” He smiled, “I am proud of you, Ruth.”

                Tears flooded to her eyes. “I- wow, really?”

                He nodded once, then gestured to the structure, “Now, go. I will hear this Man and conclude whether my daughter has made a mistake.”

                “Thank you! I love you!” She hugged him, and they were like two puzzle pieces that didn’t fit together. But that was okay, because they loved each other anyway. She ran to the structure, when she heard another familiar voice.

                Esther waved to her, “Shalom, Ruth! I have something for you!”

                “Ah! I’ve got to hurry,” Ruth ran to Esther and hugged her quickly.

                “An orange, just for you,” She offered, “A bit of sunshine for the soul.”

                “Thank you!” She took the orange and ran, out of breath. She spotted her Rabbi near the front of the structure, rehearsing His sermon a final time. “Rabbi! I’ve got a gift for You!” she hurried to Him. “An orange! You can eat it afterward. But I figured I’d give it to You now, for luck.”

                “Thank you,” He took it and grinned, “though I think it was originally meant for you.”

                She shrugged, “I know that, and I’m giving it to You.”

                “Master,” Simon came over, “it’s time.” The disciples- along with one random guy who had shown up, and Shula and Barnaby, cleared the path for Him. He walked ahead to the curtain and opened it.

                Here we go, Ruth grinned.

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                For once in her life, Ruth was completely silent. She stood down on the grassy knoll and drank in every word Jesus was saying, picking apart its meaning. Her full focus stayed on Him, on the sound of His voice floating to her ears. I am so lucky, she took a deep breath in. The hand of God must’ve been at work, because she actually grasped every metaphor Jesus used.

                “You have heard it been said,” He began. With every “You have heard it has been said,” the earth quaked, and the things Ruth knew fell apart. He continued, “Love your neighbor and hate your enemy,’ but I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be called sons of God.”

                The sermon continued for about two hours, but to Ruth it seemed like it went two seconds.  Jesus’s every word nourished her soul, though not all could be specifically applied to her.  Tears flooded to her eyes as she realized what effect this sermon could have. If the people listening did it right, their lives would be forever changed. She knew hers was.

                “Anyone who hears My words and does not obey them is like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rains came, the floodwaters rose, and the house fell apart. But anyone who hears My words and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rains came, the floodwaters rose, and the house stood strong, because it had been built on the rock." 

                And then, it was all over. Everything they had done for the past several weeks had come to this. Ruth couldn’t be happier. Her whole body stung with delight, like the sun had overtaken her soul. I got it! I understood nearly all of it! She beamed.

                She couldn’t help but humming as she helped pack up the place. It was a new song; one she had never heard of before or since. She laughed at the smallest jokes and couldn’t stop smiling for the world. She ran to Ramah, grabbed her hands, and spun her around.

                Ramah laughed, “Someone’s happy,”

                “That was amazing!” Ruth squealed, “Matthew better have written the whole thing down.”

                “I did,” Matthew nodded, “Jesus added some new teachings that we did not discuss, but He said I could ask about them later. Right now, He is speaking to Judas.”

                “Who?”

                “Judas,” Matthew nodded toward where Jesus and a blue-eyed man spoke. “Nathanael told me that he helped convince the shepherd to let us hold the sermon on this mountain.”

                “Impressive! Will he be coming with us?”

                “I am not sure. From the looks of it, yes.” He started to walk away, then remembered, “Oh, Jesus wants everyone to gather around Him shortly.”

                Ruth shrugged, “I’ll be there in a second.” She went to Andrew, who was helping dismantle their sermon-giving structure. “Shalom. I’m ready to talk now.”

                Andrew looked to Simon for clarification. Simon nodded, “Go.” Andrew stopped his work and stepped aside to speak with Ruth.

                “Hello,” He began. “How, uhm, how did it go with your abba?”

                She shrugged, “I don’t really know. I suppose he’s forgiven me, and I’ve forgiven him. We aren’t perfect, but… we’re pretty good.”

                “That’s good.” He rubbed the back of his head and said, “Look, I’m sorry. This whole week and a half I’ve been acting…”

                “Really stupid?” She put her hands on her hips.

                “Yeah, really stupid. I’ve just been terrified, though I know that isn’t an excuse.”

                “I forgive you.” She smiled mischievously, and said, “I know it’s hard to believe, but sometimes I get scared too. And sometimes, when I get scared, I do stupid stuff.”

                “I can relate,” he muttered. “And you’re right, it wasn’t Mary’s fault. I shouldn’t have said that.”

                “The heavens have opened!” She grinned. “Did you apologize to her?”

                “Not yet. But I will.”

                “When?”

                “Soon!”

                She rolled her eyes to the sky. “Soon needs to be in the next few days, or I’ll throw you into the Sea of Galilee and see if the fisherman can swim.”

                He barked a laugh. “You are always so creative with your threats.” He paused, “I just… I was mad at Mary because… I get worried about you, sometimes.”

                “Don’t get worried about me,” she shrugged. “Didn’t you hear what Rabbi said in His sermon?”

                “Ugh,” he groaned, “I should’ve known you’d emphasize that point to me.”

                She chuckled, “I think He made that section with you specifically in mind.”

                “I’ll try not to worry,” he rolled his eyes. “If you try not to get into fights.”

                She gave a fake melodramatic gasp, “Me? Get into fights? Never!”

                “Uh huh, sure.” They walked toward Jesus together, and the group broke into applause.

                “Alright, alright,” Jesus held His hand up with a smile. “That’s good. You all did excellent work over the past several weeks to make this come together. I thank you. Specifically, thank you to Nathanael, Thad, and Little James for getting this together so quickly!” They clapped again. “I’m sure you’ll help them clean up before you go. I’d also like to welcome Judas of Kerioth into the group. He has asked Me to be his Rabbi, a request I have gladly accepted. Now, I know you’re all very tired, and we need some rest. Especially you, Simon! After the joy of having you gone wore off, Eden has actually started to miss you.” He chuckled.  “I’m sure you’ll find a way to stay in touch. I’d like to see us all together soon. But, before we go, I’d like to pray for you.”

                The group gathered closer, placing their arms around each other. Ruth placed one arm around Mary and one arm around Ramah, and she knew that’s where her home was. Jesus prayed, “The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you. Amen.”

                “Amen,” They echoed. Ruth helped clean up, then walked away with the other women to who-knows-where.

                “Wait,” she asked, “Where will we go?” I’d honestly rather not stay at my abba’s house, but I think he’d be okay with it. “Back to Capernaum?”

                “Yes. You three will be staying with me,” Mary said, “I have a house in Capernaum. It’s a little small, but it’s home.”   

                The four ran into a Roman-looking woman. She came out of a carriage with a horse and ran to them. “Excuse me,” she asked, “are you followers of the Teacher?”

                “Yeah,” Ruth crossed her arms, somewhat suspicious. “Who are you?”

                “I am Joanna,” Joanna said, and took a piece of embroidered fabric off of her cloak. “Can I speak to your Teacher?”

                “What’s that in your hand?” Ramah asked.

                “An offering,” She squinted, “Did you not take up a collection?”

                “Jesus didn’t ask for that,” she frowned, “if you want to see Him, this isn’t the way to do it.”

                “Is this shatoosh from Nepal?” Tamar examined the fine fabric with a squeal. The what now? 

                Joanna looked around, distracted, “Uhm, I bring greetings to Jesus from someone, so if I could just-“

                “From whom?” Ramah crossed her arms. 

                Ruth asked eagerly, staring at the chestnut horse attached to the gold carriage, "Does he also have a horse?" 

                Joanna seemed taken aback, “I come from Machaerus.”

                “Sorry, I never studied geography. I’ve got no idea where that is.”

                “I’ve spoken with John the Baptizer.”

                Ruth’s face immediately lit up, “Andrew!” she called, “This lady says she’s spoken with John! In Machaerus!”

                Andrew ran over, “When? How?”

                “My husband works in Herod’s court,” Joanna answered, “so I’ve had the opportunity to speak with him since he’s been brought in. I was intrigued by his words, and-“

                “You’ve spoken to him? When- what-“ Andrew, take a lesson from the sheep and calm down. “How is he? What did he say?”

                “You’re Andrew?” She said with a smile.

                “Yes,”

                “He’s mentioned you.”

                “Yes- is he hurt?”

                “No… well, yes. It’s not a great place for him to be. He’s upset some important people.” I like this John character. “But he wanted you, especially, Andrew, to know that he is in good spirits.” She said comfortingly.

                “Can I see him?”

                 Mary brought Jesus over and motioned for Ruth to leave. Reluctantly, Ruth followed her. To cure her boredom and near exhaustion, she went to Eden. “My friend!” She embraced her, “I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you in forever. How have you been?”

                “Alright,” Eden shrugged, “it’s been a bit lonely in the house, but very peaceful.”

                “I can imagine,” She grinned.

                “And you! How have your travels been?”

                “If I stayed up all night talking to you, I couldn’t explain them all,” she beamed, looking back at Jesus. “We should have a cup of tea and a walk in the market sometime while we’re in Capernaum. What about that?”

                “I’d like that.”  

                Andrew ran up to them, “Hi, Eden. Sorry, Eden.” He turned to Ruth, “I’m going to Machaerus. To see John.”

                “You’re doing what now?”

                “Rabbi gave me permission to go see John. I’m leaving with Joanna’s carriage in a few minutes.”

                “Right now?”

                “Yes, I basically leave as soon as I say goodbye to you and Simon.”

                She took a deep breath in, “Alright. It’s what you need to do. Say shalom to John for me. Don’t worry, don’t die, and don’t do anything stupid.”

                He grinned, “Same goes for you.”

                “I have a much lower chance of worrying and dying than you do.”

                “And a much higher chance of doing something stupid.”

                “Hey!” She laughed and shoved him. “Also, remember to apologize to Mary when you get back.”

                “I will!”

                “Promise?”

                He sighed, “I promise.”

                “Good, otherwise I'd make good on my threat to throw you into the Sea of Galilee. Now, I think you’d better be on your way. Shalom shalom.”  

                “Shalom shalom,” He waved and stepped into the carriage. Ruth rejoined the other women and started walking away from the place where her world had changed.

                “Ramah!” Thomas called. The group stopped, and Ramah turned around. Here we go. Ramah walked toward him with the cheesiest grin on her face. To avoid this conversation that made her cringe, Ruth looked around. I wonder if he stayed to talk to me.

                “Ah, Ruth.” She heard the voice of her abba and ran to him. “I waited a long time to speak to you. And you know I am not fond of waiting.”

                “I was busy!” She protested. “Well, did you like it?”

                He shrugged, “Some of His ideas are rather controversial. I don’t entirely agree with everything. I still cannot comprehend the fact that He lets women follow Him. And I did not like His tone when He said that piece about lilies in the field. It read as condescending. Also-“  

                “Is there a ‘however’ coming soon?”

                “However, He has good sense overall.” He nodded. “I suppose I approve.”

                “Thanks,” Ruth broke into a grin. “We’re going to be staying in Capernaum for a while, I don’t know how long. Want to… have Shabbat dinner sometime?”

                “I would appreciate that.” He frowned suddenly, “If you are staying in Capernaum, but not with me, where are you staying?”

                “I'm staying with Mary," she grinned, "she's my best friend." 

                "Isn't she living in the Red Quarter?" He grimaced, "I've heard of her. Adonai, what is the world coming to?" 

                "She used to live in the Red Quarter. Emphasis on used to. She's actually quite nice- do you want to speak with her?" 

                “I’ll stay out of that.” He put a hand up. “So, our- my house, then? In a fortnight?”

                “Sounds good. I’ll be looking forward to it. Shalom shalom.”

                “Shalom shalom, my daughter,” Tears came to his eyes, and he kissed her on the forehead. He walked away, calling to her, “Remember to be reasonable! Keep your head on your shoulders, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

                “I make no promises, abba!” She chuckled. She went back to the group of women, as they watched Thomas and Ramah talking, an awkward sight. “They’re still doing this? I had a whole emotional moment and they’re still doing this?” She whispered to Tamar.

                Tamar whispered back, “It’s painful and adorable to watch at the same time.”

                "Mm, I say mostly painful." 

                Ramah finally returned to them, a giant grin on her face. “He’s going to visit us after first meal tomorrow!” Oh, fantastic.

                “That’s fantastic!” Mary smiled.

                “You think he’ll finally ask for your hand then?” Tamar asked bluntly. Ruth burst into laughter.

                Mary chided, “Tamar!”

                Ruth couldn’t help but adding, “That was painful to watch.”

                “I don’t know,” Ramah shrugged, still beaming, “I think it was sweet.”

                “Ooooooh, I think Ramah’s got a crush.”

                “I did not say that!” she said, while blushing furiously.

Chapter Text

                “So, this is my home.” Mary welcomed them into the one-room house. Well, it’s certainly smaller on the inside than it looks on the outside. “I know, it’s not much.”

                “Not at all, it’s just…intimate!” Tamar shook her head.

                “Yes, exactly,” Ramah added. She pointed at the cot, “So, Mary, you’re sleeping there, right?” Mary nodded. “I can sleep against the wall, Ruth can sleep by the table, and Tamar can sleep in the middle of the room!” On the floor? Ooookay. Somehow, I think this is even less room than we had in the tent. Staying with my abba is starting to sound a lot nicer.

                “It’ll be very…warm,” Ruth concluded, trying to be encouraging.

                “Warm indeed!” Tamar chuckled with a raise of her brow. “May I let some light in, Mary?” Mary nodded, and she went to the curtain. The light streaming in did improve the condition of the tiny room a little. “See! All we need is a bit of light,” I think this house needs more than a little bit of light. Maybe if we knocked out a wall or two? Ruth, be nice. It’s either this or your father’s, and Abba’s would probably be worse.

                Ramah set her basket on the table. She pulled the cloth off of it, revealing apples. “We’ve spent our last shekel, so…” Ruth took one and bit into it. “These will have to last.” She said with a pointed glance.

                Mary checked the open window and went to her door. “What’s up?” Tamar asked. Mary closed the door behind her. Ruth checked the window.

                “Oh, it’s Matthew!” she concluded.

                “Is Matthew the one who keeps looking at Mary with the sad puppy-like eyes?”

                She burst into surprised laughter. “Very apt description, yes.” She checked the window again and saw that Matthew seemed close to tears. “Let’s see what those sad puppy-like eyes are doing now,” she opened the door.

                “Matthew,” she examined his face. He stayed underneath the shade across the road, which to Ruth seemed like a far distance away to be talking. “Are you alright?”

                “I feel… confused.” He fidgeted with the scarf in his hand, “Thank you for asking, Ruth.”

                “You’re doing great, Matthew,” Mary comforted, “Everything is new. It’s okay to make a mistake,” she smiled. Well, I bet he’s not as confused now.  

                He gave a somewhat jittery smile, “Thank you, Mary.” He seemed more at ease. See, I totally called it. “Have a good night.” He walked away without another word, getting lost among the crowds and the sheep. Ruth followed the women back into the house and closed the door.

                “He’s wonderful,” Ramah smiled with humor.

                “He’s a good man,” Mary beamed. She looked down at the basket of apples and lost her smile. “It’s not much, but we’ll… we’ll manage.”

                “Is it too soon to use this?” Tamar pulled the Nepalese silk from her bag.

                “Yes,” Ramah answered forcefully. “I don’t think we ever should’ve taken it. That woman was a stranger, and Jesus didn’t ask for gifts. To be honest, I didn’t like her very much.”

                “I liked her,” Ruth grinned, “She knows John the Baptist. And she has a horse.”

                “Indeed, she does, but I thought she was very presumptuous.”

                “Rich people usually are,” Mary smiled, then added, “excluding you, Ruth.”

                “You don’t have to tell me,” Ruth gave a wry chuckle, “I lived around them!”

                Tamar asked, “Who do you think she was?” she folded the shawl and set it on the table, “Remember how she struggled with her words?”

                “I think she didn’t want anyone to know she was there,” Mary shrugged, “That’s what I got from her.”

                “Yes!” Ramah said, frustrated. “She was deceptive!”

                “But curious,” Ruth shrugged. She contemplated the woman, “she was wearing silver earrings! Not just studs, like I have. Gigantic hoops!”

                “Maybe,” Ramah continued with her rant, “it was all a trick, and we’ll never see her again! Which I’d be completely fine with,” she added with a mutter.

 “We better see her again, or how else is Andrew going to get back from Machaerus?” Well, I suppose he could walk home. But walking home is a lot more dangerous than riding in a golden carriage with a Roman lady.

                “And now we’re just giving away shattoosh? The most expensive textile in the world?!” She picked up the fabric in frustration.

                “I think she was just trying to help,” Tamar argued.

                “Why don’t we just eat?” Mary offered a piece of fruit to calm the brewing argument. “I’m sure we’ve had a long day, and we’re all quite hungry.”

                They sat down silently and ate. Well, I hope the mood doesn’t stay like this all the time, in this tiny house.

                A couple days later, a knock came at their door. Mary stood up from her place at the table, “I’ll get it.” She opened the door. “Andrew?” YEEEEEESSSS!! Ruth deliberately plugged her ears, so she wouldn’t hear their conversation. Although, it was hard not to, seeing that she was five cubits from the doorway.

                Andrew walked away. Ruth stood on her tiptoes and popped her head out of the window to catch him as he went past. She whispered, “Good job, Andrew!”

                He turned to the window, startled. “Ah- uhm, thank you.” He tried to get past the choke in his voice. He was solemn for a long time, then said, “Mary said that was only the second time in her life that anyone’s ever apologized to her.”

                “Really?” Her heart hurt as she thought of her friend, “Oh, Adonai.” It must be horrible, to count on one hand the number of times someone admitted to you that they had done wrong. And I can count both instances- Andrew and John! John, I made apologize to Mary. Andrew, less so. “I didn’t know that.”

                He sighed, “Me, neither.”

                “How’s John? How are you?”

                “John is… well, I suppose he’s okay. Still the same as always. He told me not to be afraid, and to listen to Jesus.”

                “I’m shocked.”

                “Yeah, yeah. And I… I don’t know how I am.” He sighed.

                “Ruth?” Tamar asked from inside, “Why are you halfway out the window?”

                “I’m coming in now- ow,” Ruth bumped her head against the top of the window as she slithered back in. “Shalom shalom!” She yelled into the market. Andrew had already left.

                In a couple days, Matthew came back. It was almost sunset, and the shadows of the market fell onto his back. “It’s Matthew, again,” Ruth noticed, “Mary, you better go check on him.”

                “Hm?” Mary looked up from her mending. “Oh, I wonder why.” She opened the door and spoke to Matthew.

                “Should we go outside?” Tamar asked, peering in the window.

                Ruth shrugged, “Nah, I don’t think so. He doesn’t look distressed, like he did last time. He looks…” she squinted, barely seeing his face in the near darkness. She grinned, “He looks really, really happy.”

                “Maybe he fixed what was confusing him.” Ramah rested her chin on the window. Their three faces squished into the small opening, trying to figure out what was happening.

                Ruth heard Mary’s voice, “Oh my goodness, Matthew, that’s great! Thank you so much. Are you sure?” Matthew nodded and went away. Mary ran back into the house.

                “Matthew has just offered to let us stay in his former home!” Oh, thank Adonai. I get some room! “We will be moved in by next Shabbat.”

                “That’s amazing,” Ramah grinned, then she frowned, “but where will Matthew stay?”

                “His parents’, I hope. I’ve got to say,” Mary beamed, “I’m proud of him.”

                Ruth muttered with a smirk, “I bet he was all too happy to give the house to someone so unusually pleasant to look at.”

                “What?”

                “What?”

                “Why now?” Ramah tilted her head.

                Mary took off her veil, “He wants a fresh start.”

                Tamar muttered, “You’d know all about that,” ‘Scuse me. ‘Scuse me, Tamar. What’s that all about?

                Ruth gave Tamar a quick glare, “What?”

                “We all know about fresh starts, now that we’re with Jesus.” Okay. Sure. I like you, Tamar. Don’t ruin it for me. “In any case, we still have no food.”

                “Well,” Mary said with optimism, “it means we’ll have less to carry.”

                “And we are still low on money.”

                She suggested carefully, “You could… sell some of your jewelry, maybe?” Wait, does that mean I have to sell my jewelry too? I mean, I will, if we actually have no food. I don’t really want to, though. I wonder if I could ask my abba for money?

                Tamar gave a disgusted frown. She touched each piece of her headdress and necklace with care. “It’s all very personal.”

                “Every piece?” Ramah set down her box.

                “Every one.”

                “We’ve all given up some of our personal lives to follow Jesus,” she smiled, “I gave up my career.”

                “I gave up a name,” Mary added. She looked to Ruth pointedly, motioning for her to add to their discussion.

                “I gave up…uh…uhm… a lot of stuff?”

                “The point is,” Ramah continued, “We all gave up something. But we got something so much better in return!” she saw no positive reaction on Tamar’s face after a couple seconds. “Thomas says Zebedee is making olive oil now,” You couldn’t have picked a less obvious change of subject? “Maybe we could take part in turning it into a business?”

                Absolutely not. “That sounds incredibly bori-“ She stopped herself. “Oh, interesting.” Seriously? When will we go back on the road again? I get that I needed rest. Okay, I got my week of rest. Now can we go back to preaching, healing, and fighting Pharisees?

                “I wonder if it could be sold as anointing oil?” Mary contemplated as she packed.

                Ramah shrugged, “Holy anointing oil must follow strict regulations. It’s laid out in the books of Moses.” Oh, lovely. So not only will we be making olive oil, we’ll also be following “strict regulations”. That sounds like a fun time.

                “It’s not just olive oil?” she tilted her head, “Wait, you made it through the books of Moses? When was this?”

                Tamar leaned against a wall and grinned, “You talked to Thomas?”

                “It’s, uhm-“ Ramah answered exactly none of their questions, “it’s partly olive oil, yes. But uhm, spices are mixed in. We used some of them in making wine. We’d buy from the same vendors as the priests.”

                Mary caught on to Tamar’s teasing, “Thomas would know where to get them,”

                She shrugged, “I think Thomas has other things on his mind right now. The ministry is demanding.”

                “Right, right, the ministry.” Ruth grinned mischievously, “Don’t misunderstand, Ramah. Thomas is a very dedicated student.” Tamar stifled a laugh.

                “And a hard worker,” Mary added.

                “That is true,” Ramah said, a small blush creeping across her face, “He is a very hard worker. And smart.” She continued, like no one else was in the room, “and very dedicated.”

                “Maybe a little distracted,” Ruth said in a singsong.

                “Hm?”

                “Alright, let’s stop dancing around this,” Mary held up a hand, much to Ruth’s joy. “His dedication to you was obvious the moment I saw you at the wedding.”

                “I was very stressed at that wedding!” Ramah said in her defense.

                “It wasn’t just a concern for your stress,”

                “You’ve got that right,” Ruth rolled her eyes, “even when you weren’t stressed it was all, ‘Look, Ramah, I got you apricots!’ or, ‘You can count on me to teach you Torah, Ramah!’ It was like a socially anxious bird performing a dance for its bride.”

                “You are in love with him, Ramah,” Tamar grinned.

                Ramah seemed shocked by the notion. “Wha- well, that’s- not how it works with our people.”

                “So you don’t deny it?”

                “Uhm, you’re a Gentile, so maybe you don’t understand, but- uhm, love… comes from marriage.” Is this why all adults are so annoying? Because they have to get married and get boring before they can have any fun?

                “Jews, Gentiles,” Tamar shrugged, “Love is love.”

                “In our tradition, our fathers arrange our marriages. That’s all she’s saying.” Mary explained.

                “Much to our horror,” Ruth added with a mutter.

                “Where you come from, do people-“

                “I’d rather not talk about where I’m from.” Tamar went quiet. Ooookay. Did we offend her? I’m confused. “If that’s okay.”

                Ruth turned toward Ramah, “Look, Thomas’s feelings toward you are painfully obvious to anyone who looks at him while you’re in his field of vision.”

                “And from what we’ve heard,” she regained a grin, “he might want to make it permanent very soon.” What? When was this? Ugh, no one tells me anything.

                “So, would you want to?”

                Ramah stuttered, “Uhm, well, it’s complicated, you know… with my father. And considering our circumstances, it wouldn’t be very traditional…”

                “But would you want to?”

                “Yes! If, ah, if my father approved, of course, I think I’d be very fortunate.”

                “Huh.” Tamar turned to Ruth, “is that all the Jews’ way of saying you love him and you’re very excited?”

                Ruth shook her head, “I think it’s just Ramah’s way.”

                Ramah nodded and broke into a massive grin.  They broke into giggles. Ramah picked up her basket and asked, “Wait, what was it you heard about ‘very soon’?”

                Tamar feigned ignorance, “I said that? Really?”

Chapter Text

                Finally, we’re doing something exciting! The thought drummed in Ruth’s head as she walked to Simon’s house. Eden had asked them to help prepare dinner for the disciples, who were meeting that night with Jesus.  I can’t wait to see Rabbi again. It’s been forever! It had been about two weeks since the Sermon on the Mount.

                In those two weeks, my life has gotten sooooooooo boring. My schedule consists of looking around for spare change, thinking of ways to ask my abba for money that are non-embarassing, picking flowers in the field, and going to bed. Market isn’t even fun anymore! It’s like my job! I just want to go back on the trails again- to watch Jesus preach and teach and change lives.

                “Ladies, I’m glad you came.” Eden greeted them as she carried a basket of fish. “The boys are meeting for dinner in two hours, so I think that gives us enough time to prepare. Ruth, could you set the table?” I suppose.

                “Do you even have thirteen cups?” Ruth rummaged in one of the chests and found several clay cups, which she set on the table.

                “Close to, I think,” she examined the chest. “If we don’t have enough, that’s alright. Now,” she turned to Ramah, Mary, and Tamar, “Do any of you know how to prepare fish?”

                Ruth opened the door for the disciples as they arrived. She greeted each one with a smile. I think it’s time for us to go, again! I can’t wait! Thomas looked especially nervous when he came in. He drew her aside, away from the kitchen.

                “Ruth,” He began, all jittery, “I know you’re not afraid to speak your mind. So, I need you to tell me honestly…” He paced about the dining room, “if I asked Ramah to marry me, do you think she’d say yes?”

                She rolled her eyes. You are the most oblivious person I’ve ever seen. “What do you think?”

                “Well, uhm, I…I think so? I just don’t want to offend her if her option is no, because I’d hate to offend her. Offending her is the last thing I’d want to do.”

                “Wow, sounds like you don’t want to offend her.”

                “Yes! Exactly.”

                “Look, just build up the courage to ask her, and do it soon. It’s driving our whole household crazy with the waiting. Get married so you can stop being bothersome.”

                He squinted, “Is that… a positive answer?”

                “I dunno, you tell me,” She shrugged and walked into the kitchen, trying to squeeze a lemon but failing miserably. “Ugh,” she lamented, “I wish I knew how to cook.”

                “You know,” Ramah offered, “one of these days I could teach you, if you wanted. I attended enough weddings to know kind of how these things are done.”

                “Really? That’d be awesome!”

                “I thought you knew how to cook,” Simon came by and kissed Eden, “Remember that meal you made with Dasha?”

                “To be honest, Dasha made all of it,” she chuckled.

                “Oh, that’s why it was edible.”

                “Hey!”  

                Finally, everyone filed in, including Jesus. Ruth beamed at Him as she set a plate in front of Him. He asked facetiously, “Oh, did you make this?”

                “Rabbi, You know better.” She laughed, “This can only be the work of the great and lovely Eden.”

                “Of course! Thank you, I’m sure it’s wonderful,” He said as Eden served the table. She said nothing, but Ruth could feel Eden’s proud grin splitting her face.

                “So, Jesus,” She turned to Him, “Are we going on another trip again? Is that why You called everyone here?”

                “Well, this meeting won’t go the way you think.”

                She laughed, “Nothing ever does!” She pulled up four chairs, since the food was all served.

                “Rabbi, will You bless the food?” Eden asked as she grabbed her own plate.

                “Of course.” Jesus lifted His face to Heaven, “Blessed are You, King of the Universe, for providing us with our daily bread. Help it to nourish us and keep us strong for the days ahead. Amen.”

                “Amen,” The table echoed. Once they were finished eating, the women cleared the plates.

                “Now, down to business.” Jesus leaned forward, and Ruth perked up her ears. “I’m sure most of you are aware of the tent village that has sprung up east of Capernaum,” Oh yeah, that thing. I wondered why they were there. “Those people followed us from the Mount, and they’re waiting to hear more.” Oh? This might get interesting. I didn’t know why they were there. That’s so cool! That many people, just wanting to hear Jesus? I wonder if He’s going to preach to them! Maybe that’s what this meeting is about! She rubbed her palms together in excitement.

                 He continued, “Their numbers are increasing, as well as Rome’s suspicion.”

                “Teacher, it’d appear as if we were building an army,” Andrew spoke up, a mix of confused and excited.

                “Well, that’s one way to think about it. The other way is My way.”

                Simon added, “You mean the right way.”

                “Yes, Simon. Those people in the village are like those in regions all over. They’re in need of rescue, and you’re going to help me rescue them.” At this sentence, Zee straightened up. “Not that kind of rescue, Zee.” Rescue? Well, I certainly like the sound of that. “It’s not sustainable for me to do all the healing, preaching, and ministering. I’ve called you here today because I want our ministry to grow- and it will grow, till the end of the age.” Ruth grinned and leaned forward in her seat. Till the end of the age. I like that phrase. People will be following Jesus forever, till the end of the age. “There will be many more followers, and all will have roles and responsibilities. Most will be disciples, students. But I have chosen you Twelve as my apostles.”

                Ruth tilted her head. She thought of the word apostle: she had never heard of it before, except in the context of her abba’s messengers. Messengers, she grinned at the table full of her twelve friends, they’ll be messengers. Wait, if they’re going to be messengers, then what will I be? The table went completely silent as they contemplated this.

                “Wait,” Big James asked, “You’re sending us?”

                “An apostle is the same as a messenger.” Matthew began to explain, “One who-“

                “I know what a messenger is, Matthew. That’s why I’m asking.” He turned back to Jesus.

                Jesus said, “You are my leaders. And for this mission, it’s best that you spread out, and not be concentrated in one place.” That makes sense. Oh, maybe Tamar, Ramah, Mary and I will go too! We probably won’t be messengers, but we could do something else outside of Capernaum. We could, like, check on the apostles. She still played with that word in her mind. Can’t believe I get to be friends with apostles.

                Andrew drummed his hands on the table, “I- I don’t understand.”

                “I am going to return to Nazareth for a time. While I’m there, I’m going to be sending you in every direction, two by two, to our people. Not to the Gentiles, not yet.” He glanced at Tamar purposefully, “That will come in time, no question. But to the lost sheep of the House of Israel, you will go like Joshua and the twelve tribes of Israel into the Promised Land.” Wait, is that why there’s twelve of them. I didn’t even think about that! Man, Jesus thinks of everything. “You will go throughout the land, proclaiming, ‘the kingdom of Heaven is at hand!’”

                The kingdom of Heaven is at hand, she grinned as she thought. I don’t really know what that means. But it sounds super cool! Especially when Jesus says it, He makes everything sound cool. Whatever it is, I get to be part of that! I just really hope He gets to the part where He explains what the women will do soon. This messenger-y stuff sounds amazing, but it’s obviously not meant for me to do. I wonder what we’ll do!

                “And while you are on this mission,” He continued, “You will heal the sick and the lame by anointing them with oil. You will cast out demons in My name! Two by two, you will go out and proclaim My kingdom.” He finished with authority. Light streamed in from the window, framing His face. It was like a King sending His soldiers to battle, giving a rousing speech before they went.

                “How…. How soon are we talking about here?” Simon asked in a whisper, stealing a glance at Eden.

                “Soon,” He gave a lopsided smile, “There’s that word again.”

                “Heal the sick? Cast out demons?” Philip asked, astonished.

                “While you are on this mission, I give you My authority to do these things. Someday you will have that authority all the time.”

                “Was there a ceremony I missed?” Nathaniel blurted out. “I don’t feel any different.”

                “You don’t need to feel any different to do great things,”

                John turned to Jesus, “Rabbi, with all due respect, we just started as students. We’re not qualified to do this kind of work. Why would You need us to do this?”

                “He doesn’t need us,” Zee grinned, “He wants us.”

                Jesus smiled, “Thank you, Zee. Good summary. John, if I wanted only people with the “right” religious qualifications, I wouldn’t have chosen…” He gestured to the room, “you get the point.”

                Philip raised his hand, “Wait, can we go back to the healing-the-sick thing for just a second?”

                “You will take nothing with you but your staff. No bread, no bag.” Wait, what? That’s a little crazy. “No money. Not even Salome’s food,” He pointed at the Sons of Thunder with a grin, “Wear sandals, and do not bring an extra tunic.” Okay, suddenly I’m happy you didn’t choose me to be a messenger. Not even a change of clothes? Are you serious?

                “Not a change of clothes?” Matthew tilted his head. “Even the wandering cynic philosophers carry a second tunic.”

                “Exactly. I want to distinguish you from the cynics. They also carry bags for donations of gold and silver. You won’t do that either. You received without paying, now give without payment.”

                Jesus gave many more instructions to them and separated them into their groups of two. Ruth didn’t really listen to that part. She was too busy thinking about what her job would be. If the men get something as exciting as being an apostle, I wonder what Jesus will give me to do! Wandering in different cities with no supplies sounds like such an adventure! I mean, it probably wouldn’t be a fun adventure, but it’d be an adventure, nonetheless. It’d certainly be the most interesting thing I’ve ever done.

                She tuned back in just in time to hear Jesus say, “Do not fear those who kill the body, but cannot kill the soul.” Whoa, whoa, whoa. That’s serious.

                “So, you’re saying we could die?” John asked.

                “There will come a time when this will get much harder, when persecution is an ever-present part of your ministry.” …Persecution? Why would we be persecuted? Jesus is so awesome! We’re spreading the best message ever heard, that the Messiah is here! Why would people ever want to kill us for that? “When that time comes, you will follow in My footsteps.” So, we’ll just be cool? We’ll just yell at Pharisees and then walk away, radiating awesomeness? Rabbi, is this another metaphor that I won’t get?

                Oh, wait! Jesus said He’d leave us sometime. Maybe we’ll just follow Him and finally go where He goes! I wonder where He’s going to go. It must be somewhere pretty great, if He’s going to be there. She dared to ask, “Rabbi, will we follow Your footsteps to wherever You’re going away to, when You said one day You wouldn’t be here?”

                 He sighed deeply, like sorrow itself sat next to Him. “Yes, you will.” Yes! Why are You sad about that? “And you will truly know what it means to give up your life.” Wait, what? He turned to the table, who all looked solemn. “I have more to teach you about that.” Yeah, no kidding!  “But this journey will not come to that.” Well, that’s good.

                Thomas raised his voice, “Rabbi, I have a concern. You said you’re sending us out two by two?”

                “Yes. The women will-“ Here we go! Ooooooh, I can’t wait! It’s definitely going to be something exciting. “stay here in Capernaum. They will support the ministry financially.” Hold on, hold on, hold on. What? I have to stay in Capernaum, AKA Boring-opolis? While the men get to travel all around and heal the sick and stuff? “They’ll also minister to the tent village. Zebedee will be responsible for their safety.” I don’t want to be safe if it means I won’t have any fun.

                He continued giving directions, talking about important things like Judas being in charge of the money. Oh, that’s nice. Why do I have to stay in Capernaum? If supporting the ministry means running the oil business, I’m not going to be happy. I mean, I suppose I get to go to the tent city. That might be fun. But way less fun than going to all these distant lands and spreading the good news!

                After everyone left, Ramah went to Thomas. A couple cheesy smiles later, she came back. She announced to the group of women, “In a couple weeks, I’m going to go to Tel Dor and wait for Thomas. Once he’s done with his mission, we will visit my father and… ask if we can get married!” She seemed like she’d burst with excitement.

                Even Ruth’s mood was lifted, “I’m so happy for you!”

                “Thank you. Oh, and don’t worry, I’ll spread the word of Jesus wherever I go in my travels. To anyone who’ll listen! My work won’t stop- oh, I can’t wait!” Oh, so even Ramah gets to travel and spread the Word? I’m not mad, this is me not being mad, I’m not mad, this is also not me being mad.

                “I’m going to…market!” She said with false cheerfulness to Tamar. She whispered, “I’m going to get us a Ramah’s-finally-getting-married treat.”    

                “But we have no money,” Tamar protested.

                “I have my ways,” she showed the thin gold chain around her neck. It would fetch some good money at market. She ran off, leaving no room for protestations. Before market, I need to make a stop. She hopped onto the beach of the Sea of Galilee, taking off her sandals.

                “My beautiful Sea, here we meet again.” She picked up a heavy-looking stone with her left hand and threw it into the water. She picked up more heavy stones, chucking them as far as they would go. They made several splashes in the water, each one a different sound. She did it until her left arm felt tired and sore. “This is nice, actually. I should do this more often.”

                “Afternoon, Ruth.” She heard a voice behind her. “I figured I should stop by here before I continued to Nazareth.”

                “Ah! Uhm, hi, Rabbi.” She dropped the stone that was in her hand. It landed in the surf, waves splashing over it. “Afternoon to You!”

                “You’re a bit mad at Me, aren’t you?” He asked with a small smile.

                “Uhhhhhhh… no,” she tried lying, which failed like a sheep trying to climb a mountain and landing on its face. “Okay, kind of. A little bit. Only a little bit. Tiny. Sort of.”

                “I get it,” He shrugged, picking up a stone and throwing it. It skipped ten times on the waves. Ruth looked at Him with momentary awe. “The men get to have all the fun.”

                “Yes!” She burst, then covered her mouth with both hands. “It’s… it’s just a change from what I’m used to with You. You know, the whole going on the road, yelling at Pharisees, healing the sick, and casting out demons while they’re attacking people thing.”

                “It is a change, for sure. But it’s not any less important. I think you’ll find it fun.”

                “Alright, I’m going to be honest, I don’t get it.” She turned to Him, digging her feet in the sand. “How can staying in Capernaum be half as important as going out and spreading Your message to Israel?” she imitated His words, “to go out and proclaim, ‘the kingdom of Heaven is at hand!’”

                “By staying in Capernaum, you will be proclaiming My message. Just in another way. It’s My plan for you to stay here, for now.”

                “Then why does Ramah get to go to Tel Dor?”

                “Because she’s trying to get her father to agree to her marriage. You know that.” He gave her a mischievous smile, “I’m pretty sure you don’t want to be in her situation.”

                “Ew, no. Marriage is for old boring people.” She glanced up at Him, “are You sure I’ll find it fun?”

                “Maybe not fun all the time. But you’ll be doing my work. And that gives you a joy that cannot be taken away.”

                “Well, I do like the sound of that. Olive oil making can give me a joy that can never be taken away?”

                “As surprising as it is, yes. And it may even be interesting at times.”

                “Interesting?” Her eyes lit up. “Hmm, okay. I think I’m up for interesting.”

                “I’m glad, Storm Girl. You can tell Me all about your adventures when I get back from Nazareth. I’m sure there will be much to unfold!” He glanced at the sun, “Now, I think you have some celebratory treats to get at market before evening?”

                “Oh, yes, I completely forgot!” she unclasped her gold chain and threw it in her pocket. It would make for great bartering material. “You know, I think I’ll get some oranges.”

                “Sounds delightful. Shalom shalom, My daughter.”

                She ran off, “Shalom shalom, my Rabbi!”

Chapter Text

                Two days later, she said goodbye to everyone. Weirdly, this was an emotional time for her, even though they’d be back in just a couple months. But they were all she had known during her time with Jesus. It was weird that they’d be separated now. All the followers stood in a circle and chatted, occasionally looking at the sun. At the ninth hour, the pairs would leave, and the women would see them off.

                “John, don’t annoy the people you’re trying to preach to.” She gave him a mock salute. “And… be safe, I guess.” She turned to Thomas, “Convince Kafni.”

                “I’ll try my best,” Thomas shrugged and put up his hands.

                “Good enough. Little James, may God be with you.”

                “Thank you, Little Ruth.” He smiled, with a tinge of sadness. I don’t get it, why are you sad? You’ve just been given the gift to heal peop- oh. Oh, man. He saw the suddenly changed look on her face, “I’m doing alright. He has His reasons,” he sighed, “even though I don’t understand them.”

                 “Good for you,” she clapped him on the shoulder, “Hopefully I’ll feel the same way, eventually.”

                “You will.”

                “Maybe,” she shrugged and turned to Matthew. “Thanks for all those songs of David you’ve been giving us. Got any more?”

                “Yes,” Matthew flipped through his notebook and carefully tore out a page. The ninety-eighth psalm was scrawled in careful writing on it.  

                “Ninety-eight?” she squinted at the number on the top. “We’re not on ninety-eight yet. I haven’t even made it to the twentieth one yet.”

                “I picked it out for this morning. I thought it was apt for what’s about to happen.”

                “Hmm,” she skimmed over it, “I suppose so. By the way, I like that whole scraggly thing you’ve got going on,” she motioned to his face, “I like it. Makes you look like what you are- one of us.”

                “Uhm, thank you?”

                 “Morning, Philip,” she greeted him, “You excited?”

                Philip shrugged, “Well, somewhat. It’s exciting. I’m up for the adventure. What about you?”

                She barely kept the frown off of her face, “I’m getting there. I’m sure I’ll find something interesting to do in Capernaum.”

                “You know, if you want something interesting to do, you could go down to the tent city and just talk to people. There are a lot of characters down there. People from all over. They’d probably agree to have a chat.”

                “Hm. Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” She considered.

                Finally, she turned to Andrew, “Have a good time, heal lots of people, and don’t die.”

                Andrew protested, “Jesus said it wouldn’t come to that-“

                “Well, I’m telling you anyway for good measure. If you die, I’ll kill you.”

                “Okay. Thanks.” He nodded, “You too?”

                “Thanks,” she grinned and went back to Mary. She handed her the ninety-eighth Psalm. Simon called the group together in a circle.

                “Alright,” he put his arms around Judas and Andrew, “this is it. It’s time.”

                Mary stepped forward, examining the Psalm, “Simon, before you go, can the women recite this Psalm for you guys?”

                “Uh, sure.”

                 Tamar whispered, “I don’t know how to read.”

                Ramah whispered back, “I don’t really know, either. Just fake it?”

                The women crowded around the small piece of paper and read, “Sing to the Lord a new song, for he has done marvelous things, his right hand and his holy arm have worked salvation for him. The Lord has made his salvation known and revealed his righteousness to the nations. He has remembered his love and his faithfulness to Israel; all the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.”

                Mary stopped reading at the third line, much to Tamar’s joy, and began, “The Lord bless you and keep you,”

                Ramah, Ruth, and Tamar joined in, “the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you,”

                Eden gave a meaningful look toward Simon. She whispered, tears coming to her eyes, “the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace.”

                “Amen!” they finished together with a joyful shout.

                “Amen,” Simon finished, “Well, I now feel very well-equipped. I pray that God protect you all, and that we meet here again with wonderful stories of what God has done through us.”

                “And I better hear them all,” Ruth added.

                He grinned, “I’ll do my best to tell them all! Well, my friends, shalom shalom. May God be with you until we meet again. And we will meet again.” He and Judas picked up their bags and started on the long road away from Capernaum. The rest did the same, until all the women were left alone in the middle of the street.

                “We will meet again,” Eden whispered.

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                The tent city seemed like a vast sea, sitting right outside the city limits. Ruth had absolutely no idea how to begin. She stepped into the area, immediately surrounded by tents, campfires, and a ton of people. “Hello?” she said to no one in particular. No one answered her. I thought Philip said these people would like to talk! “Shalom, good morning to you!”

                “Shalom!” A high voice answered back, weaving in and out of tents to get where Ruth was standing. “I recognize you.” A somewhat short kid with long black hair stood in front of her. She was so young that her hair did not even sport a veil, yet.

                “I don’t recognize you.” She shrugged in reply.

                “No, but I recognize you.” The girl insisted. “Were you on the roof of that one house?”

                “Yep. I cut through the roof. With John’s knife.” She found the girl trustworthy, so she revealed everything.

                “So that’s who you are!” The girl beamed. She called, “Joshua, this is the lady who cut through the roof!” A boy with thick curls ran over and looked at Ruth in awe.

                “Am I famous or something?” Ruth asked, amused.  

                “Just to us. We haven’t heard from any of the followers of Jesus in a while. How’s He doing?”

                “Well, I guess. How do you know Him?”

                She grinned, “He hung out with us in the wilderness for a couple days. He taught us a bunch of stuff. Then He made me a little house out of wood!”

                The boy, who was apparently named Joshua, added, “I thought He was just a carpenter. But then we saw a big crowd around one house and heard Him. So, we climbed up on the roof and watched Him!”

                “And we watched you, when you were on the roof,” the girl added, “Simon told us your name’s Ruth.”

                Ruth decided she liked these kids. She asked, “That’s right. Well, you already know my name. What’s yours?”

                “I’m Abigail.” She pointed to Joshua, “that’s Joshua.”

                “Good to know. Do you guys live in the tent city?”

                “No, but our friends do. Are you trying to tell people here about Him?”

                “Yes, actually. I just don’t know where to start. It’d be awkward if I just sat down at somebody’s campfire and started talking.” She looked around, and everyone seemed very invested in their own business.

                “Well, it won’t be awkward if I do this.” Abigail cupped her hands around her mouth and said in a loud yell, “Hey everybody! This lady’s a follower of Jesus of Nazareth!”

                At once, a hundred pairs of eyes were on Ruth. A bombardment of questions started coming at her from all sides. “Is He in the city?” “Will He be performing any miracles?” “What did His sermon mean?” Woah woah woah! I can’t even hear my own voice!

                Finally, Ruth put her left hand to her mouth and made an ear-splitting whistle. Everyone went silent. Huh. I’m glad Batta taught me how to do that. Works on sheep and people alike. “Listen up, everybody!” she said, with all the authority she could muster. “I’m going to tell you a story, and it’ll only include the stuff I know the answers to. No, He’s not in the city, I don’t know if He’ll be performing any miracles, and you have to figure out what His sermon meant yourself.”

                Joshua raised his hand like he was in Hebrew school, “What sermon? Abigail and I didn’t go.”

                “I’ll go over it again.” She looked at the vast crowd of people, their heads all towering over hers. “Can you all sit down, please?” They sat down on the ground. Abigail and Joshua grabbed the hands of a bunch of children, so the front row was full of all the kids of the tent city. “Great, that’s great. I'm going to tell you a story about the kingdom of Heaven. So, I’m just going to start with what I know and go from there. The first time I met Jesus of Nazareth was on the beach…”

                “And then, I was all like, ‘but I hate God!’ or whatever. I was quite stupid for that.”

                “Then He said to the man, ‘Son, your sins are forgiven’. And that made the Pharisees extremely mad. This is something He’s great at doing, you’ll see.”

                “He went to Samaria- that’s right, hold your horses and let ‘em cool off a second, Samaria.”

                 “So, you all know the Pool of Bethesda, right? Yeah, sad place. Anyway, so Jesus goes up to this seemingly random guy and…”

                “I did almost get into a fistfight with a Pharisee, but that’s neither here nor there.”

                “And so, all the women were panicking, well obviously they were panicking, this guy is trying to attack them! He said his name was Orlial or something. It was creepy. Anyway, Jesus ran up to him, and he yelled, ‘Out of him!’ and the demon came out!”

                “Then He made more Pharisees mad. That was super fun. Just by touching this man, He healed his withered hand! That’s crazy.”

                “Then He gave His sermon, which almost all of you were there for. But I’ll give a recap.”

                “And that’s it!” she finished about an hour later. “Any questions?”

                “What did He mean,” Joshua squinted, “when He said, ‘the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath’?”

                “I have absolutely no idea. Once He’s back in town, you could ask Him.”

                “Why hasn’t He healed your hand yet?” One unfamiliar girl asked.

                “I also have no idea. I think I’m going to ask Him that one.”

                A man in the back row asked, “Why would He ask a tax collector to follow Him?”

                “Well, I kind of know the answer to that one. God doesn’t see sins as worse than other sins. Jesus said that. So, in God’s eyes, Matthew the tax collector is no worse than say, Ruth the dowry thief.”

                “But he worked with the Romans.”

                “Yeah, he sure did.”

                “And a Gentile?! He invited a Gentile woman to follow Him? Why would a Rabbi choose such… unorthodox people to be His students?”

                “Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this,” she grinned, “but He’s not exactly a normal Rabbi.”

                Suddenly, all the people scattered back to their tents. Abigail’s eyes went wide, and she mouthed to Ruth, Romans. Behind you! Ruth turned around, ready to run. “You. The bald guy.” She crossed her arms and looked at the Roman that kept bothering her.

                The other Roman with the bald guy began, “Gaius, this Hebrew rat-“ Hey!!  “should not speak to you that way!” Ruth cracked her knuckles in frustration.

                “It’s fine, Cassius. Continue your rounds.” He waved him off. “I’ll deal with her.” Oh, you’re going to deal with me, huh? How’s that going to happen? Cassius sighed and walked off. “You.”

                “You keep ruining all my fun.” Ruth folded her arms. “Why must I keep running into you?”

                “I’m just doing my job.” He squinted at her, “Aren’t you with the same Rabbi as Matthew?”

                “Yeah, no thanks to you.”

                “Look, I’m trying to help. Is He in town? Your Rabbi?” Ruth went silent, glaring at him. “Sure, whatever, don’t tell me. However, Quintus isn’t happy about… all this. I’m advising you to tell your Rabbi- wherever He is- to lay low.”

                “I’m not going to tell Him anything. Besides, He doesn’t really have a reputation of laying low.”

                “Look, just-“ Ruth heard a scuffle behind her. She ignored the bald guy and turned to look.

                “Reuben!” An old woman yelped as Cassius grabbed her arm. Reuben, whom Ruth assumed was the woman’s husband, came out from their tent and rushed to the woman.

                "This is my wife, Hannah," the man explained hurriedly, "Whatever she's done, I formally apologize-" 

                "Stop your mouth," Cassius tightened his grip. 

                Ruth didn’t think, she just ran over. “Listen here, you- you officer of the law,”

                Cassius kept his arm on the woman. “This woman has dead fish all over her camp! They’re starting to smell! It’s a hazard to public peace.”

                “I just sp-spilled them, sir.” Hannah stuttered. “I promise, I just sp-spilled them. I’ve got the aches in my arms, you see, and…”

                “Well, pick it up!” The Roman practically threw Hannah to the ground. Oh, he didn’t. “And you!” He turned to Abigail, who hid behind a tent. “Did your parents raise you to disrespect authority?” This guy’s being a jerk. And I really hate jerks.

                Then Ruth did the unthinkable. She gathered all the saliva in her mouth, and she spit. Directly on the Roman. In his face. Huh, I do know how to spit! Cassius turned toward Ruth, seeming to just now notice her. “For that, you will feel the wrath of Rome.”

                “Not if you can’t catch me!” She started to run away and bumped into the bald guy. She moved to the side, knocking over a campfire. “Sorry!” The tents became a blur as she ran to the far side of the market. Finally, she stopped and leant against a wall, trying to catch her breath. “That was… awesome. I need to go back tomorrow!”

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                In her arms, she carried baskets of fish, bread, and grapes. She set out for the tent city with a skip in her step and a gleam in her eyes. So, what if I had to sell my favorite earrings to get these? It’s not like they matter. What matters is that the women and I don’t have any money, but I want to help anyway. Mary and Tamar trailed behind her, carrying their own baskets. It did take some skilled bartering to get this many denarii in exchange for gold studs, but I did it. Because I’m amazing.

                Mary complimented, “I’m glad you’ve taken the initiative to help these people. I knew you’d find your way in Capernaum,”

                “Thanks,” Ruth grinned as they all entered the camp. “For always knowing I’d do stuff that I don’t think I can do.”

                Reuben greeted her at the edge of camp, “Look, the one who saved us!”

                “You know, I have a name. Ruth works fine. Besides, I’m not really the one doing the saving.” She handed a basket of bread to him, “Could you please distribute this among the people?”

                Tamar leaned over, “What does he mean, ‘the one who saved us?’”

                “Uh-“ she had not yet told them about her experience almost going to jail, “Well, you see, you know how Roman authorities are really annoying?”

                “I’ve not personally had a bad encounter with one, but go on.”

                “You know how sometimes you just really want to spit on annoying people?”

                “No?”

                “Well, I did. And so, I spit on a Roman. Directly in his face. While he was on duty.”

                Tamar began laughing uproariously, “You spit on an officer?”

                “Yeah, kind of. I’ve got to say, it was fun, though dangerous and reckless.” She added quietly, “Don’t tell Mary?”

                “I won’t tell her if you don’t tell her that I sold one of Matthew’s candlesticks to get this basket of bread,”

                “Already? My earrings weren’t enough?”

                “Look at all this food! Do you think a pair of gold earrings could buy all this?”

                She shrugged, “I suppose not. Do we have any money left after this?”

                “Not much. We’ll have to go through Matthew’s house. And sell some of those unsightly rugs,” she wrinkled her nose.

                “Unsightly! But I thought they were so pretty.”

                “They are, by themselves. But I think our friend Matthew does not know how to match the rugs. They all have different patterns. It brings chaos to the home.” She handed a bunch of grapes to a woman named Rahab.

                “You’re pretty negative about all this, I’m just being honest.”

                “I state things how I see them. If we’re going to live at that house, we need to at least like how it looks.”

                She shrugged, “I guess so.” She grinned as she saw a girl run to her, “Hey, Abigail! These are my friends, Mary and Tamar.”

                “Shalom!” Abigail gave them a quick wave, then said, “Miriam and Ezekiel want you to watch Deborah while they go out.”

                “I don’t know how to deal with kids! Can’t Aviva watch her?”

                “Miriam asked specifically for you,” She motioned for Ruth to kneel down and whispered in her ear, “They said they’d give you half a denarius if you watch her for two hours.”

                “They don’t have to do that,” She protested. “Half a denarius is far too expensive, anyway.”

                “I told them you’d say that. And they said that they will pay you, or one of your friends, no matter what you say.”

                “Oooookay,” She turned back to Mary and Tamar, “Would you guys be alright if I stayed here for a couple hours?”

                “Go ahead!” Mary said with a massive grin. “We’ll continue distributing the food and then wait for you back at the house.”

                “How do you know all these people?” Tamar asked with a squint.

                “No idea!” Ruth called as Abigail grabbed her hand and led her to the tent.

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                “Alright,” She examined the child. She couldn’t have been more than three or four years old. “Shalom, Deborah.”

                “Hi,” Deborah said back. She began spinning round and round, her black braid whipping in the air. "I'm bored." 

                “So, what do you want to do?”

                “I dunno.”

                “Okay.”

                “I’m gonna go play on the beach now.” Deborah immediately stopped spinning and started toward the Sea of Galilee.

                “You literally just said you didn’t know what you wanted to do!” Ruth ran after her. The girl sat on the beach, getting sand all over her dress.

                “Are there sharks in that water?”

                “Yes. And fish bigger than the one who ate Jonah. And they’ll eat you.”

                “Abba said sharks aren’t scary! I think they’re my friends!” She ran toward the water.

                “Yeah, don’t do that!” Ruth picked up Deborah, the toddler’s legs dangling in the air. “Sharks are not your friends.” She heard clanking from across the beach and saw a flash of red. “Okay, Deb, we might have to play a game I like to call ‘running from the law’.”

                “Uh…shayl-ohm? Is that how you say it?” The Roman lifted a hand in greeting. Ruth squinted at him. She couldn't see anything but his uniform against the bright sun. Wait a minute! 

                “Bald guy? Again?”

                The bald guy walked closer to her. “The name’s Gaius.”

                “I like bald guy better.”

                “I know you don’t like me. I’m just trying to help,”

                “Yes, you’ve said that before.”

                “I think it’d be best if you convinced these people to…re-migrate. Quintus is unhappy about their ever-growing numbers. You’d probably convince them- they trust you enough so that you even take care of their children,” He motioned to Deborah.

                “Yeah, no, I’m not gonna do that. Who’s Quintus?”

                “The praetor? Praetor Quintus?”

                “Sounds like a boring guy. It’s good that he’s mad.” She grinned, “Means we’re doing it right. I am not going to tell these people to move, because Jesus never said they had move. So, I’m going to walk away now. Oh, and by the way, it’s pronounced shalom.”  

                 She walked back to camp, Deborah in tow. The audacity of that man! He thinks just because he’s got a fancy sword, he can tell me what to do. He can’t. Because he isn’t my Rabbi.

                Mary walked beside her, “Hey, there. We ended up staying a long time, anyway, so why don’t we walk home?”

                Ruth handed Deborah to Miriam, who handed her a coin in return. “Thank you, shalom shalom,” she turned back to Mary, “Sure, why not?”

                “I’ve heard many interesting things about you today,” She grinned mischievously, “and of the stories you’ve told.”

                “Oh? Like what?”

                “You almost got into a fight with a Pharisee?” Tamar grabbed three empty baskets and stacked them on top of each other. “How daring!”

                “How reckless,” Mary chided gently. “And I thought that was a tall tale.”

                Ruth shrugged innocently, “That incident was neither here nor there.”

                “And what was this I heard about you spitting on a Roman?”

                “Tamar!” She whipped her head around to the woman, her black braid flying. "You promised!"

                Tamar held up her free hand, “I didn't tell her.” She chuckled, “That man Reuben tells everything. He was actually quite proud of you.”

                “I take a slightly different view,” Mary contemplated, “that move was quite dangerous. And could’ve gotten you arrested. I think, as followers of Jesus, we should go out of our way to not upset the Roman authorities. That could be dangerous, for Him and us.”

                Tamar added with a giant grin, “But I laughed out loud when I thought of it!”

                She held down her smile, “I suppose it was somewhat humorous.”

                “It was hilarious! This short, teenage girl spitting on a Roman!”

                “Directly on his face,” Ruth giggled.

                “On his face!”

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                “Come on, I was waiting for you to come!” Abigail found her at the edge of camp and dragged her by the hand. Ruth set her baskets down before she dropped their contents. “I’m going to show you something!”

                “Where are we going?”

                She led her out of the tent city and into the woods. “It’s a secret, and you can’t tell anybody.” She brushed away a clearing to reveal a little wooden house, complete with two tiny dolls and a horse. “This is my special house. Jesus gave it to me.”

                “It’s very pretty,” Ruth examined it as she would a great jewel.

                “It is. I’ve only let you and Joshua see it. So, keep it a secret! Don’t tell anybody.”

                “I won’t, I promise.”

                Abigail looked up at her with big brown eyes, “You seem to know a lot. I trust you. Will Jesus make our friends leave the tent village?”

                “Nah, I don’t think so. I hope not.”

                “Okay. That’s good, because I don’t want my friends to leave. Do you think Jesus made my house with a miracle?”  

                She shrugged, “I think He could, if He wanted to. But sometimes He likes doing things the hard way. I know from experience.”

                “Why?”

                “Because it’s more fun.”

                She thought about this for a while, “That makes sense. Jesus does like to do things the fun way. Do you want to play house with me?”

                Ruth chuckled, “As long as I get to be the horse.”

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                “Eeeeeeeeden!” she knocked on her friend’s door. “Eeeeeeeeden!”

                Eden answered the door, looking somewhat startled. She had creases under her eyes, like she hadn’t been sleeping well. She’s probably just missing Simon. Though, her household is probably much more serene without him. “Oh- Ruth? What are you doing here?”

                “You haven’t forgotten about our date to get tea, have you?” she grinned. “Is now a good time?”

                “Uhm- uh- alright, sure. Let me just grab my bag,” she ran back into the house, leaving the door open. Ruth peeked in. The house seemed darker than usual, and more curtains were closed. Huh. That’s weird. “Okay, I’m ready!” They walked to market and bought two cups of tea. Ruth chattered all the way, but Eden stayed silent.

                “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry!” Ruth apologized. “I’ve been chattering on and on, but I haven’t asked how you’ve been doing!”

                “I’m fine. There’s not much to do at the house. Some days I talk to Salome, other days I just stay home.”

                Wow. That sounds like the most boring thing I’ve ever heard. Have you tried talking to the tent village? “Well… routine is good for structure.”

                “I wish Simon was here,” she looked down at the ground, and a dark rainstorm gathered above her head.

                “I think he’ll be back soon. I wrote to Ramah, and she said that she met up with Thomas. So that pair is done with their mission, at least.”

                “That is good.” She replied flatly. She looked down at the ground, seeming nothing like the cheery Eden that Ruth knew. 

                Ruth tilted her head. “I think you need a change of pace. Why don’t I take you to the tent city? You can meet all the people I’ve been rambling on about!”

                For the first time that day, Eden actually brightened. “I think that’d be nice.”

                As always, Abigail ran to greet her at the edge of the tent city. “Ruth! I brought Deb with me. She said she wanted to come this time.” Deborah toddled behind her.

                “Shalom, Deb.” Ruth waved. She turned to Eden, “Miriam and Ezekiel, who you’ll meet later, have been paying me to watch her whenever they go to market. I’m still not very good with children, but-“ she noticed Eden’s pale face. It looked like one wrong gust of wind would blow her over. “Adonai, are you okay?”

                “I-“ Eden stared at Deborah. “I think I need to go home.”

                “Are you alright?” she placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I haven’t been a very good friend. I just talked about me the whole time and brought you to meet a bunch of new people that only I know!”

                “No, it’s not you. I just don’t feel very well.”

                Ruth took the cup of tea from Eden, who seemed like she could not lift anything. “Oh, okay. Are you sick? I can make you soup. Or, well, Mary and Tamar can give me careful instructions and keep me from burning down the house while I can make soup.”

                “You don’t need to do anything. I’ll… I’ll be alright.”

                “Let me walk you home,” Eden began to shake her head, but Ruth interrupted, “Yeah, no. You look like you’ve seen Samuel’s ghost. You’re not walking by yourself.” Tentatively, Eden took Ruth’s arm. They walked back to the house in complete silence. Ruth felt like something was following them- something darker than the blackest night. It had no face, it only wept. And she had no idea why it wept.

Chapter Text

The women explored the house, examining it truly for the first time since living there. Tamar picked up a small, ugly potted plant, “Well, one thing I’ve learned from living here is that having money is not the same as having taste.”

                “Hm? What do you mean?” Mary tilted her head.

                “Well, just look at this table.” She pointed at a perfectly fine-looking table, “This style was a brief trend almost five years ago.” And? I think it looks nice.

                “Maybe he bought it five years ago.”

                “And this,” Tamar continued, not getting the hint. She gestured to the rug, “This aggressive orange pattern raises the heart rate. It’s no wonder Matthew is so anxious all the time.”

                Ruth added with some humor, “Don’t think the rug is what’s causing all his problems.”

                “Well, I just don’t think we’ll be able to auction this off.”

                “Auction?” Mary squinted.

                “The ministry needs funding. We can’t rely on alms.”

                “Well,” she pressed in her closest imitation of stern she could, “We did mention selling your jewelry.”

                “I told you.” Tamar said flatly, her walls immediately up, “It’s not just jewelry. It’s my family story. Each piece belonged to one of my ancestors. I carry their lives with me.” That’s a little weird. I don’t think I’d want to carry my entire family with me. Sounds heavy.

                “I’m sorry, Tamar, I’m trying to be sensitive, but honestly, that concept sounds a little… pagan. That is something you may want to shed, now that you’re in this group?”

                “It is not pagan. It is honor.” Tears came to Tamar’s eyes. Okay, this got dark quickly. “You have no idea what I’ve been through.”

                “You have no idea what I’ve been through,”

                “I’ve heard rumors.” She said with disdain. “I’m sorry.”

                “I do have a past,” Mary rubbed the back of her neck, “and as for questions of money, we should just leave it to Judas.” Great, now both of my friends are mad. At each other! This isn’t even the fun kind of fighting. It’s just the sad kind.

                A knock came at the door, and Zebedee came through with a giant grin on his face. “I’ve just pressed my first batch of olive oil! I figured I’d come by, give you a sample. Please, tell me your honest opinions.”

                Ruth excitedly took a small jar and held it up to her lips. “I’m sure this is going to be the best olive oi-“ It was in fact, not the best olive oil ever. It was possibly the worst.

                Mary held down her grimace, “I think the taste is very…interesting.”

                “Interesting’s definitely one word for it,” she muttered, as she tried to find water to wash the taste off her tongue.

                “Ruth!”

                “Zebedee, you told us to be honest, right?”

                “Correct,” Zebedee maintained a smile.

                “It’s… really bad.” She handed her jar to Tamar, who immediately spit it out. “Sorry.”

                “It’s rancid,” Tamar did not break the news gently.

                “Tamar!” Mary chided.

                “No, no, it’s alright,” He held his hands up. “You only do my harm by flattery. Mary, I can count on you to tell me the truth.”

                “Mold,” she handed the jar back.

                Tamar grabbed a plate, pouring the oil out on it. “No, I don’t think it’s mold. Look at the clarity!” She turned to Zebedee, “The olives- were they light green or dark green?”

                “Dark,” He answered, “because they’re the cheapest and produce the most oil.”

                “I would choose a light green, then.”

                Some time later, after much discussion about oil and presses, Tamar rushed off with Zebedee to go find Judas. Mary stood there, holding the plate. She turned to Ruth, “I don’t think you should’ve been so forward. Zebedee is our friend, and we don’t want to hurt his feelings.”

                Ruth held back the urge to roll her eyes, “It was horrible. He needed to know it was horrible.”

                “Still, I think there could’ve been a nicer way to break the news.”

                “Shouldn’t you be telling Tamar all this?”

                “Tamar… is new. She is still learning how to act. You, however, should know better.”

                Ruth sighed, then said, “I’m going to the tent city.”

                “Be safe.” Being safe is boring, though.

                She went to the tent city, expecting to forget her problems and have a nice afternoon. A man whose head was wrapped in a cloak surprised her from around the corner. She immediately put both of her fists up, “Listen here! I know how to fight, so I wouldn’t come anywhere near me.”

                “You know how to fight, huh? That’s new.” He chuckled.

                “Rabbi!” A couple heads turned when she said this. “I should probably keep it down.”

                “Probably.” Jesus grinned, “I just got back from Nazareth. This was on my way. I’m glad Quintus hasn’t kicked these people out.”

                “Not on my watch,” She looked over the tent city with pride.

                “Of course not. Now, do you want to walk with Me? I’m planning to gather everyone at Simon and Eden’s tonight. If you knocked on some doors, it’d speed the process along.”

                “Always!” she immediately ran to Andrew and Judas’s flat, which was nearby.

                “Shalom,” Andrew answered the door with a grin. “Good to see you. It’s been a while.”

                “It certainly has. You do anything exciting?”

                “Hm, some. Philip and I got kicked out of the Decapolis, for starters.”

                “You what?” She was trying to decide between being excited and being horrified. “How? Why?”

                “The Gentiles thought we were trying to start a war, and the Hellenistic Jews didn’t like the idea of Jesus being the Messiah.”

                She beamed, “Well, people rarely do. I’m glad you at least made it home alive.”

                “In the flesh. What about you? Do anything fun in Capernaum? I was thinking, you’d probably be bored here.”

                “It surprised me- I wasn’t actually that bored. I almost got arrested, actually.”

                “You what?” He pinched his forehead, “Why?”

                “I spit on a Roman officer. Directly in his face.”

                “In his face?”

                “Directly!” She cringed, “I think he got some in his eye.”

                “Why would you do that?”

                “Trust me, it was entirely his fault. He was being mean.”

                “Yes, that is generally what Romans do.”

                “Really? I should spit on them more often, then.” She saw his mortified face and laughed. “It was fine. I ran from the law. I think he forgot about it.” He still said nothing. “Oh, come on. He was harassing an old lady! What would you have done?”

                “Probably spit on him,” He muttered.

                She beamed, “Exactly. Oh, by the way, Jesus wants everybody to meet at Simon and Eden’s tonight. No idea why.”

                “Have you noticed something odd going on with Eden?”

                “You mind reader, I was about to ask the same thing! She and I had tea a couple weeks ago, before everyone got back. Randomly, when I introduced her to the people of the tent city, she went completely pale and said she felt sick. I walked her home after that.”

                “Huh.” He scrunched up his nose. “We met up at their place last week and Eden seemed out of sorts. It’s not normal.”

                “I wonder what’s wrong. Maybe you can ask her.”

                “Me? Why do I have to ask her?”

                “Because you’re her brother-in-law.”

                “Well, you’re a woman!”

                Ruth looked at herself in feign shock. “Whoa, really?”

                “You know what I mean. You’re her friend. You ask her.”

                “Well, I did ask her. And she told me she was fine.”

                “Then I don’t know. Maybe she’s fine?”

                “And here I thought you were smart.” She rolled her eyes. “That’s like, Rule #1. Whenever a woman says she’s fine, she’s never fine.”

                “The reason might be private, too. I don’t want to intrude.”

                “But don’t you think she needs her friends? She seemed super depressed even before we got to the tent city. Something’s up, and we need to help. I was thinking I’d make her soup.”

                He squinted, “You? Make soup?”

                “You’re hilarious. Anybody, I have to go and tell everybody else. You tell anyone you see, too. Don’t tell too many people, though. We don’t want a mob.”

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                Suffice it to say, they had a mob. People crowded around the small house, looking through windows and shouting. This is my friends’ house! Don’t they have common decency? Simon shut the door, barely keeping the people out. “So, this is what it’s going to be like, now?” He asked, frustration seeping through his voice.

                “Like what, Simon?” Jesus tilted His head, unfazed.

                “Master, I’m sorry- it’s just that I’m frustrated that after a long journey, I come back and my house is no longer my home! It’s a meeting place, a forum!”

                “A house cannot have many functions?”

                “You know what-“ Simon threw his hands up, “No.” He stormed out. Wow, the bar Jonahs have a trend of doing that. Maybe they should also throw stones into the Sea of Galilee.

                “Simon!” Andrew started after him.

                “No,” Jesus shook His head gently, “let him go. Simon has a few things he has to work out himself.” Great, now Simon and Eden are both acting weird. Add that to the list of Mary and Tamar having that spat. Have literally all of my friends been getting frustrated and sad without telling me?  “Thank you for hosting us, Eden.”

                Eden said nothing, which was quite unusual. She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. What is going on with everyone? You all are acting like we’re sitting shiva. Nathanael said abruptly, “What’s up with him?” Philip elbowed him in the gut. “What?”

                Mary suggested, seeing the rancid mood of the house, “I’m curious, could you tell us some of your stories from when you were on the road?” This seemed to buoy the sinking ship.

                Nathanael lit up, “You’ll never believe this! So Thad and I went into this house, and-“

                Big James frowned deeply, “Rabbi, a question has been sitting on my heart. For this mission, you gave us power, but no understanding. Why?”

                “I was listening to the story,” Ruth crossed her arms.

                Jesus answered in a way that did not make sense to anyone. “Does that satisfy you?” He asked once He was finished.

                “I suppose,” Big James contemplated, “But I still have many questions.”

                “Questions are good.” He patted Big James on the shoulder, “one day, you will understand fully. But that time is not right now.”

                Ruth raised her hand, “I have a question. What happened with Nathanael and Thad?”

                Nathanael looked at Jesus, who nodded. He continued, “So Thad and I entered this house, and…”

Chapter Text

She walked through the market, picking out supplies to make Eden soup. Hearing familiar shouting from near the well, she ran over. “Oh. Hi, Simon.”

                “Kid, I’m kinda busy!” Simon, along with another, lifted a very heavy rock into the well. “Easy, easy,” He slowly let go of the rope. “Alright, it’s in. I got it.” Ruth watched the entire process happen with interest. She squinted at the other man who helped Simon.

                “Bald guy??” She crossed her arms. “You look somewhat… normal.”

                “Ah, yes.” Simon stood up. “Ruth, this is Primi Gaius. Gaius, Ruth.”

                “I know who he is. He keeps ruining stuff.” She examined the well behind him, “Or fixing stuff. Are you fixing the well?”

                “Trying to, at least. What are you doing? I thought you all were helping Zebedee and Judas purchase an olive grove.”

                “Yeah, I’m not. That sounds like the most boring thing I could ever do with my life, so I stayed home. I’m making soup.”

                “Soup? You?”

                “Yes, it’s for Eden.”

                She could feel Simon getting defensive from a mile away. “Eden? Why does Eden need soup? She can make her own soup.”

                “I know, but she’s sick or something. Don’t you notice these things?”

                “Of course, I notice these things. She’s just… frustrated at me, I don’t know. I’d know if she was sick. Look, sometimes married people get in arguments. It’s not something you should be concerned with.” Seriously? I know how married people work, Simon. Well, kind of. Okay, I don’t know how married people work.

                Ruth glared at him, “You are oblivious. She is sick, or sad, or something. She just hasn’t told you why.”

                “Why not?”

                “I don’t know, I’m not Eden. But either way, she needs soup. So, I’m making her soup!”

                “Okay, go make her soup! Meanwhile, I’m going to make her a well.”

                “Great, go make her a well!” she rolled her eyes, “Shalom, Simon. Shalom, bald Guy-us.”  

                “Wow,” Gaius remarked sarcastically, “That was somewhat close to my actual name.”

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                “Ow,” She cut her thumb on the knife she chopped the cucumber with. “How dare you, long vegetable,” She scolded the cucumber. It did not respond to her abuse.

                Tamar looked over her shoulder, “What are you using that for? Cucumbers do not go in soup.”

                “Daniel and the prophets,” she said in frustration, “I just finished cutting that!”

                She took one of the slices, “And they are delicious. Are you sure you don’t want any help?”

                Ruth shook her head vigorously, “I think whatever I did at the tent city upset her. It’s my responsibility to care for her.” She grabbed a hunk of carrot and started chopping it.

                Zee ran to the door and opened it without an invitation, “He is here!” The women abandoned what they were doing and ran to the door.

                Tamar grabbed Ruth, “Do not leave your water on the fire!”

                Ruth squinted, “Why not?”

                “Because it’ll boil over!”

                “Oh, that’s bad.” She ran back to the pot and placed it on the counter.

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                Simon and Eden’s house was already full of chatter. Jesus sat at the head of the table, eating and speaking with His disciples. Ruth went through the door and sat down, fidgeting in her seat to hear Jesus speak. He continued, “So, when I am gone, you will fast. But now that I am here, preaching My message of salvation, there is no need.”

                Ruth immediately spoke up, “You keep saying that. Why do You keep saying one day You’ll be gone?”

                Jesus opened His mouth to answer- probably in a confusing way- when the door burst open. Two unfamiliar men came through, looking very distressed. One wore a Pharisee’s garb. Wait a minute, I recognize you. …Yussif, right? You ruined our fun at Matthew’s party! Yussif said hurriedly, “Shalom, Rabbi.” He spoke to the other man, “This is Him.”

                “Shalom, Yussif.” Jesus said with a giant grin. He might not be here to arrest us. Or ruin our fun. We can at least hope of that.

                The other man immediately knelt on the ground before Jesus. Ooookay. This is somewhat strange. “I know You! I have heard accounts from… from someone I trust.”

                “Stand with Me,” Jesus helped the man up.

                “You do miracles, yes? You are a healer?”

                “Of more than just physical maladies,” He smiled.

                “Please,” the man said through tears, “My daughter is dying.”

                “I am so sorry,”

                “But come… come and lay Your hands on her, and she will be healed!” The man exclaimed. Yes, she will be.

                “You have never met Me. And yet, you have this much faith in Me?”

                “I know You,” He repeated, and somehow Ruth knew what it meant. “Please?”

                “Take Me to her.” He followed Yussif and the other man through the door. Immediately, the disciples followed after Him. Yes! After so long, I’m finally going to see something exciting again!

                She passed by the well, seeing Simon and Gaius. “Simon!” She called, “Come on!”

                “What’s going on?” He stood up. A crowd of people weaved through and around them.

                She laughed, “I have no idea!”

                The crowd smushed around them, trapping them in a whirlwind of people. “Please, let us through!” Jesus called.

                “Step back!” James and John ineffectively added.

                “Make room, please!” Tamar shouted. Ruth followed her voice to where the rest of the group was.

                “Ruth!” She heard Abigail’s voice.

                “Abigail!” She called back, “Can you please tell these people to get out of the way?”

                “If they’re not listening to Jesus, I don’t think they’ll listen to me!” Abigail shouted back. “I’ve got to find Joshua! Have you seen him?”

                “No! Wait, hold on,” She stooped down and let Abigail climb onto her back. “Here, now you have a better view.”

                The crowd shoved around her. One man shoved her right side, almost causing her to topple over. “Excuse me, I’ve got a kid on top of my back! Show a little respect!”

                Little James crashed in front of her. Matthew grabbed him, “Are you alright?” Chaos seemed like it surrounded the dust around her. “Is everyone here?” He called.

                “How can we tell?” Ruth responded.

                “Ruth, why do you have a child on your back?” He tilted his head in confusion.

                She was shoved from behind, and almost lost her balance. “I’ll tell you later!”

                “How dare you, sir! You could’ve hurt someone!” She heard a voice berating the man behind her who had shoved her and grinned inwardly. Shalom, Andrew.

                “I can’t find Joshua!” Abigail called, distressed. “Or Chava! Or Deborah!”

                “Yes, that is because they’re all short, like you!” Ruth responded. “You’ll find them once the crowd clears.”

                And suddenly, it all stopped. The crowd cleared a circle around Jesus, and a woman lying on the ground. Jesus asked quietly, “Who touched Me?” Uhm, well, a lot of people. We are in a crowd after all, Rabbi. He asked louder, “I asked a question. Who touched Me?” You really think this crowd’s going to answer? Abigail stepped down from Ruth’s back and ran away, presumably finding Joshua.

                “Did you touch Him?” John whispered accusingly to Ruth.

                “Probably at some point!” She whispered back. “Everyone in this crowd has.”

                Simon asked gently, “Rabbi, we’re in a massive crowd, and You ask who touched You?”

                “Someone touched Me,” Jesus slowly turned around, scanning the crowd. Rabbi, You’re kind of weirding me out at this point. “I felt that power went out of Me.” Oh, someone got healed when they touched You! See, You could’ve just said that. That would’ve made a lot more sense. Wait a minute, someone got healed just from touching You? Jesus asked again, “Whoever touched Me, come forward.”

                The woman lying on the ground burst, “It was me!” She looked up at Him with tears in her eyes, “Just the edge of Your garment. Only the fringe. I promise. You are not unclean.” Why would He be unclean? Ruth squinted. Let’s see, reasons for uncleanness… uh… touching dead people, having leprosy…. I can’t think of anymore.

                At this, Jesus grinned. He stepped toward her, “Why My garment?”

                “I’m sorry! I should’ve asked. But if You touched me, it would make You unclean. And I knew that if I only touched Your garment, I would be healed. I… was sick. And unclean, for twelve years. I bled for twelve years, and no one could stop it.” Twelve years straight? Like, in a row?! Oh, you poor thing. “But I believed that Your garment- and I was right!” She laughed joyfully, “Thank You. Thank You, so much.”

                “Who told you I could heal?”

                “A man from the Pool,” She had to pause between sobbing and laughter to catch her voice, “And he was right! He was so right.”

                Jesus stooped down to her, “My daughter.” He said with the same pride in His voice as an abba. Jesus, stop it, I’m going to cry! Ruth grinned at the scene as tears came to her eyes.

                “I am no one’s daughter, not anymore.”

                “Look up,” He said, and she looked up, “Yes, you are. Daughter, it was not My garment that healed you. It was your faith.”

                Yussif stepped forward, “Teacher, she was bleeding so long, we can take her to the syna-“

                “She is clean.” He held up His hand and turned back to the woman, “My daughter, you have blessed Me today. I know how long you have been fighting. It must have been…”

                “Exhausting,” the woman said through tears.

                “Exhausting. But now, that fight is over. Go now in peace. Your faith has made you well. Now, I wish I could stay here longer, but I have urgent business.” He motioned to the man who still looked somewhat distressed, “Someone else has faith like yours.” The woman grinned through her tears. Jesus stood up and addressed the crowd, “I will speak to all of you soon! And my students and I will care for your needs. But right now, there’s something important I must do. I kindly ask that you let Me go so I can attend to this. I promise, I will come back. But right now, it is not possible. Thank you for understanding.”

                Like Moses parting the Red Sea, the crowd cleared away from Jesus. The women, Nathanael, Thad, and Philip stayed by the woman, who still sat on the ground. “What’s your name?” Mary asked.

                “Veronica,” Veronica grinned, still reeling from the moment.

                “Veronica,” Ruth helped her up, “What is your favorite kind of bread?”

                “Uhm, what?”

                “Your favorite kind of bread. I am making conversation.”

                “I suppose…a good challah.”

                She laughed, “You are not mandated by Torah to say challah, you know.”

                “Oh, in that case,” Veronica smiled, “My mother used to make this wonderful cinnamon loaf. She’d take cinnamon mixed with honey and spread it all over the loaf.”

                “Ugh, you're making me hungry.”

                “May I have a knife?” She looked to Mary, “There’s something I must do.” She got the knife and ran away, joyfully singing.

                Ruth squinted, “What was that abou- oh, nevermind. I get it.”  

                About half an hour later, Simon, James, and John came by. “Rabbi wants everyone gathered by the Sea,” Simon said.

                “Oh, why?” Philip looked up.

                “Pharisee wants us to do a whole purification ritual, since we’re apparently unclean. But I have a feeling that Jesus has something more fun in mind.”

                “He always does,” Ruth grinned. “What happened to that one guy? The one who was distressed?”

                “Jesus removed the source of his distress.”

                “Well yeah, He does that. But how? Why was the man so distressed? How did Jesus heal his distress? I want to know!” Simon gave her no answer as they walked toward the beach. “Oh, come on. You’re no fun. John, will you tell me?” John shrugged wordlessly. “Oi, should’ve known.”

                Veronica saw them coming toward the beach and gasped, “Oh, no! I haven’t made you unclean, have I?”

                “A Pharisee thinks he sent us,” Jesus grinned mischievously, “but we just wanted to go for a swim.” The disciples began to run into the water, whooping and cheering all the way. Man, I want to do that!

                “Thank you for earlier. I know I disturbed You.”

                “I welcome disturbances!” He laughed, “Now, if you’ll excuse Me, I can’t miss this.” The hoard of disciples had grown into a full-blown water fight. Andrew was on Simon’s back, and John was on James’s.

                “Well, come on!” Ruth grabbed Mary and Veronica’s hands both at once. “We can’t let the men have all the fun, can we?”  

                “Are you sure?” Mary chuckled as Ruth dragged her into the water.  

                “I think you’re just scared because if we got into a water fight, I’d win.” She grinned mischievously.

                “Really, is that it?” She stepped into the waves and splashed Ruth’s dress.

                “Hey!” She giggled, “I wasn’t ready!” She looked to the shore, “Tamar, Eden! Come on!”

                Tamar lifted her dress and jumped into the water, laughing all the way. Ruth dodged a splash from Tamar and looked toward the shore, “Eden! Come on!”

                “I’m good,” For some reason, Eden looked like sorrow herself. “I don’t want to get my clothes wet.”

                “Come on anyway! It’ll be fun! It’s a time to celebrate, after all.” This phrase made Eden’s face drop. Are you okay?

                “I’ll stay on the shore and watch you guys,” She gave a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m having twice as much fun doing that.” She looked toward the sunset, clearly not watching them.

                “Okay,” Ruth shrugged, thinking nothing of it, “Suit yours-“ She got a mouthful of water from Veronica and laughed, “Oh, you are so on!”  

Chapter Text

Ah, you’re back. Good!” Tamar greeted her as soon as she came back from the tent city. “We need to go out again.”

                “What? Why?”

                “To collect wood ash.”

                “Yeah, that doesn’t help me at all.”

                Mary peeked her head around the door, “Good, you’re home! We need to collect wood ash.”

                “Yeah, Tamar just said that. I still have no idea what’s happening.”

                Tamar beamed, “Mary introduced us to some owners of vineyards she used to know from the Hammer. They said that the way to make the olives in the grove taste better is to put wood ash in the soil.”

                “Oh. I didn’t know they needed to taste better.”

                “Come on, haven’t you been keeping up?”

                “No, I’ve been too busy doing things that are fun.”

                “Well, we bought the new grove, and though the olives are light in color, they were still disgusting. So, we concluded that it must be the soil! Hence, wood ash.”

                “Hence, wood ash.” Ruth repeated, still not entirely convinced.

                “So, let’s go!” Mary grabbed three large jars and handed one to each of them. “We’re going to go to the disciples’ houses and see what we can find.”

                Tamar joked, “Since only half of them can cook well at all, I don’t think we’ll find very much.” To Ruth’s surprise, Mary laughed. Usually, that’d be the kind of comment that would earn Tamar a lecture.                

                “Are you all good now?” Ruth asked bluntly as they headed to the first house.

                Mary blinked, “What?”

                “You were acting weird. Now you’re not weird. Did an entire book’s worth of events happen while I was gone this morning?”

                “Not nearly that much. Tamar and I have just come to understand each other, that’s all.”

                “Hm. Okay. Good.” She nodded as they walked toward Matthew’s house. A large black dog guarded the door. “What is that?”

                “A dog,” Tamar answered flatly.

                “Yeah, I know! I meant it more metaphorically. Like, is it an ‘I herd sheep and pose no threat’ dog, or an ‘I have bugs that will kill you’ dog, or an ‘I will eat your face’ dog?”

                “I’ve seen puppies before,” Mary postulated, “and they’re alright. And dogs are just grown-up puppies, right?” She looked to Ruth.

                Ruth held her free hand up, “You’re asking me like I’d know.” She stared down the dog with daggers in her eyes. Let’s see which one of us is weaker. She took exactly one step forward, and the dog rolled over on its back and held its paws up in the air. “Mary, what does that mean?”

                “Is it playing dead?” Tamar tilted her head.

                “Maybe that means we defeated it!” She confidently walked toward the door.

                At that moment, the door opened. A woman stared back at them. “Can I help you ladies?”

                Ruth pointed at the dog, “You’ve got a dog playing dead outside your door. Just so you know.”

                The woman laughed, “Yes, that is Alfie.”

                “Huh?”

                “Short for bar Alphaeus. My husband and I thought it was fitting, since Alfie played a part in leading the true bar Alphaeus back to us.” She looked from the dog to the women, “What can I do for you?”

                A voice came from inside the house, “Eema, who is at the door?”

                “I don’t know yet, actually.” The woman turned to them again, “Who are you?”

                “Friends of Matthew’s,” Mary explained, “May we have some wood ash from your fire?”

                Matthew’s eema didn’t seem to hear anything after ‘friends of Matthew’s’. Her face lit up, “Ah, come in, come in!” she ushered them into the small house. “Sit, and I’ll get you something to drink. Oh, I’m so sorry not to introduce myself. I’m Elisheba.” She hurriedly put cups of water on the table.

                “Hello, Ruth, Tamar, and Mary,” Matthew greeted, “Why are you here?”

                “Wood ash,” Ruth nodded solemnly.

                “What?”

                “The wood ash will make the soil in the olive grove richer,” Mary explained, “we’re helping Zebedee with his new oil business venture, to support the ministry.”

                The way Matthew’s face lit up, ever so slightly, whenever Mary spoke would never get old to Ruth. He smiled a little, “I see. Well, then I will collect what I can from our stove.”

                “Thank you,” Mary smiled, and two smiles lingered on their faces. Okay. That’s enough of that. I thought I was getting a break from Thomas and Ramah, don’t become Thomas and Ramah, Edition Two.

                “Do anything fun lately?” Ruth asked, standing up to help sweep the ash into the jars.

                “Simon taught me how to stab someone in the eye with my pen yesterday,” He said, like he was remarking on the weather.

                “Oh,” Mary looked at him somewhat horrified, “Is that really necessary?”

                Ruth beamed, “That’s so cool! Why doesn’t he teach me how to do that?”

                “I believe it is because you are not in possession of a pen.” Matthew shrugged. “However, you can borrow mine, and I can teach you.”

                “Yay!”

                Mary put a hand up, “Ruth, I do not think-“

                “Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase, Mary?” She looked at her with the best puppy-dog eyes she could muster. She poked Matthew in the side, motioning at Mary.

                “What was that for?” Matthew asked, startled.

                She whispered, “Do the eye thing.”

                “Eye thing?”

                “You know, the part where you look sad at Mary.”

                “I do not think I can do it on command.”

                She said through her teeth, “Just… try?”

                Matthew sighed and glanced up at Mary. Ruth stared at his face, hoping that his signature sad eyes would come through. Finally, Mary sighed. “Alright. I suppose our situation is getting more serious, and even we need to learn how to defend ourselves. I relent, because it’s a good skill to use in case of emergency.”

                “And because it’s cool!”

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                The jar became heavier and heavier as time went on. After six stops, Ruth thought she’d keel over in Capernaum’s streets and die. Good thing Andrew, Philip, and Judas’s is the last stop. I’m ready to go home and take a nap. Sweat mixed with dust swirled up in Ruth’s face, making her cough. Her curly black hair stuck to the back of her neck, and she couldn’t itch at the spot because she’d drop the jar. This must’ve been how the Israelites felt when they were walking through the wilderness, she thought melodramatically.  

                “Now that I think of it,” Tamar contemplated as they walked toward the house, “I think Zebedee mentioned something about a small wagon. We could’ve used it to carry these.”

                “Uuuuugh,” Ruth groaned, “Don’t torture me with this information.”

                Mary, always the optimist, offered, “Well, we’ll probably have to do this again sometime soon. So, we can use the cart then!” She knocked on the door.

                Judas answered, “Hello, there. What can I do for you?”

                “Do you have any wood ash in your stove? And do you have the chance to go through Capernaum and ask people if you can clean out their stoves?”

                “Uhm, yes.” He squinted. “Why?”

                “Well, we-“

                Ruth leaned around Judas, looking into the house. “Where’s Andrew and Philip?”

                “You didn’t hear?” Judas sighed. “They went to the Decapolis in the middle of the night a couple nights ago with some unfamiliar man to clear up some of their preaching.”  

                “The Decapolis? But they didn’t even preach there.” And why has no one told me about this?

                “Apparently their word spread to there, anyway. Tensions that were already there have boiled over. They’ve gone to try and mend the situation.”

                “Oh.” Ruth scrunched up her nose. She helped collect the wood ash and started to walk away, wishing for Tamar’s fabled cart. “Wait!” Judas stopped as she turned around. “Do you know if the Decapolis is bad?”

                “What do you mean by bad?”

                “You know, bad. Like Jericho-bad.”  

                “I’m not sure.” He shrugged.

                “Oh. Okay. Well, thanks anyway.” For nothing!   

                Suddenly, the world swirled. People ran around her, almost causing her to drop the wood ash. Abigail appeared at her feet. “What’s going on?” Ruth asked her.

                “Jesus is in the tent city!” She grinned. “Come on!”

                Ruth glanced at Mary, “What do we do with the wood ash?”

                With her free hand, Mary knocked on Judas’s door and wordlessly handed the jar to him. “This,” she took the other jars and put them inside the house. “Thank you, Judas!” They ran to the tent city.

                On the way, they ran through an alley. For some reason, James, John, Simon, and two unfamiliar men slept on the side of it. Ruth called, “Come on, lazy bones!”

                Simon blinked, “What’s going on?” A man ran past them with a child in his arms. “I see.” They ran to a clearing near the tent city, where people surrounded Jesus. Ruth squished through the crowds, excited to see Him again. Nothing exciting’s happened in forever!

                “Master,” Simon pushed two men to the front, “These are disciples of Your cousin, Adhar and Nadab. They bring a question from John.”

                “Ah,” Jesus turned to them with a smile, “I recognize you from the day John introduced Me to Andrew.”

                 “Yes, I remember You as well,” Nadab nodded, “John said about You, ‘Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!’”

                Adhar shook his head, “We can ask our question later. Simon brought us in haste- now is not an appropriate time.”

                Jesus looked to Simon, “What do you think?”

                “I think it’s the perfect time.” He grinned mischievously.

                “I agree,” He addressed the crowd, “Which of you here has had some experience with John the Baptist?” Most of the crowd raised their hand. “Some of you rejected him, but some of you believed his message. Either way, he has had a profound impact on this region, and these are two of his disciples. Let’s welcome them, eh?” Obediently, the people clapped.

                Jesus grew more solemn, “Many of you may also know that John is currently imprisoned by Herod in Machaerus. So, I think it would be instructive to hear what’s on his mind during this challenging time.”

                Adhar hesitated, “It is a hard question. It may be better in private?”

                “No,” He reassured, “Here is fine.”

                Nadab burst, “He asks if You are the One who is to come, or if we should wait for another.” You’ve got to be kidding me. John doesn’t know by now that He is the One who is to come? You’d think that he’d know that. .

                “Hmm,” Jesus said simply. He turned to the crowd and said in a loud voice, “For those of you who didn’t hear, John the Baptist, My cousin who has prepared the way for Me, has asked if I am the Messiah.” He turned back to the disciples, “John is getting impatient, yes? It’s one of his quirks.”

                “We heard about what happened in Nazareth- that You said, ‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon you to proclaim liberty to the captives.’ If that is so, why has John been in prison for such a long time?”

                “Freeing captives can mean more than simply freeing inmates,” He explained. Aren’t those two things the same thing? “There are many kinds of captivity that keep people.” Ohhhhh, I think I get it.

                “Is that what we’re supposed to tell him?”

                “No, that part was just for you.”

                Adhar added, “We heard that Andrew and Philip went to the Decapolis.” What, was I the last one to know? “Is that where You’re planning to start the revolution?”  

                “I do have something planned for the Decapolis, and it will be revolutionary. But probably not in the way you’re thinking,”

                “So, what are we supposed to report to John?” Nadab asked forcefully. Be careful, Rabbi. There are some not-fun people here who might not like Your answer.

                “Go and tell him what you hear and see: the blind receive their sight, the mute speak, the lame walk.” He added with a glance at the Pharisee, “And blessed are those who are not offended by Me.”

                “I will always be offended by blasphemy!” The Pharisee responded. Oh, here we go again. “As should all of you!”

                Simon stepped forward, “Didn’t you see what happened to his daughter? How can you deny that?!” Whose daughter? What happened to whose daughter? Is this the thing that Simon wouldn’t tell me about? Jesus gently pushed Simon back into the crowd.

                “I did see that your supposed Rabbi-“ Oh, come on. “disrespected me as a holy man-“

                “Go cry in a river about it,” Ruth added unhelpfully.

                “-and I do not know the details of what happened. He is purposefully hiding something, and I do not want you people to be deceived,” Can you hear how stupid the words coming out of your mouth sound right now? “by His sorcery!”

                Jesus ignored the Pharisee and said quietly to John’s disciples, “Go and tell John what you have seen and heard, and add to the end of that, the dead are raised as well.” The what are what?? Is that, like, a metaphor? You can’t actually raise the dead, can You? I know You’re God’s Son and all that, but… hold on, it’s hurting my brain to think about that right now. So, wait, Jesus is God’s Son… and only God can raise the dead. I remember He did that with the bones that Elisha saw that one time. Or was it Elijah? I can never remember the difference. Anyway, where was I- oh, curse it, I missed Jesus yelling at people.

                “Do not waste your time not listening to this truth,” Jesus said, raising His hand in the air with authority, “The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand, and this generation is missing it! Do not make the same mistake.” Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!! “Those who rejected John’s message of repentance, and those who now reject Mine, remind me of children in the marketplace. Some of the children play like they are at weddings or even funerals, but you are the children who sulk and refuse to play. Whether a happy game or a sad game, you do not partake. And the others say like it says in Aesop’s fables,” In the what now? “We played a flute for you, and you did not sing, we sang a dirge, and you did not weep.”

                “What’s a dirge?” Ruth whispered to Big James.

                “Shhh,” was his only answer.

                Jesus looked straight at the Pharisee, “You say John has a demon because he lived in the wilderness and refused food and dances. And now you call the Son of Man a glutton and a drunkard because He eats, drinks, and dances! It doesn’t matter what is put in front of you, you’ll reject it.” He turned to the crowd, “Take note of this: Wisdom is nothing if it is not acted upon. Do not ignore the evidence of the Kingdom of God as you see lives changed by repentance and salvation.”

                The Pharisee stepped forward angrily, about to speak. Another man interrupted, “Uh, before we continue, I’d like to remind everyone that Quintus has imposed a limit on gatherings to twenty-five people!” Oh, hello there. Weren’t you the one previously in distress, who is now not in distress? I wonder if you’ll tell me.

                “That’s right,” Gaius stepped forward, “Everyone, back to your homes.” Come on, Gaius! Things were just getting fun! Ruth stared longingly at the crowd, then followed Jesus away from the area.

                As they ran away, Simon remarked, “I can never decide what is more fun- Your miracles, or their reactions.”

                Mary laughed, “I like the miracles much better.”

                “I think the miracles are so much better when the Pharisees  are around,” John added.

                “Yes!” Ruth grinned, “I like seeing their faces.”

                “I know, right? They’re all like, ‘Seeing You change lives disrespects me!’”

                “And then they say something like, ‘How dare You heal that man? That’s a crime worse than insulting Elijah’s bald head!” She and John laughed uproariously.

                As they rounded the corner, Shula and Barnaby stopped in front of them. Barnaby looked up at Jesus wordlessly, pleading silently. Shula whispered, “Who is it? Why did we stop?”

                “It’s Him.” Barnaby answered simply.

                “We don’t need to bother Him,”

                “It’s fine, Shula,” Jesus stepped forward. “I’m grateful you brought Barnaby here for the healing of his leg.”

                Barnaby frowned, “No, she’s the one who- I brought her to-‘

                “I know.” He grinned.

                He laughed, “Of course!” He grew more solemn, “Please, heal her. She won’t ask herself.”

                “Shula,” He turned to her, “Are you afraid to ask for healing?”

                “Yes,” She answered, facing away from Him.

                “Why? Do you have faith that I can heal you?”

                “Of course, Rabbi. It’s just that You are so busy, and so many people need You more. i… I am used to this.”

                “Shula, look at Me.”

                “I cannot see You, anyway.”

                “I want to see your face.” Obediently, Shula looked at Him. “You and Barnaby have been so kind and so full of faith since the day I met you, even though you have never seen a miracle.”

                “You redeemed my friend,” She smiled, “That is enough for me. I did not need sight.”  

                “I know. You see better than most in this region.” He laughed, “But, since your friend Barnaby here won’t leave me alone, then…” He stepped toward her, growing silent. Looking up to Heaven, He covered her eyes. Then, a life changed in an instant.

                “Well?” Barnaby looked at her. “Did it work?”

                “It’s been so long, I’m afraid to look.” She admitted.

                Jesus encouraged her, “It’s time.”

                With her eyes opened, she looked around and took in the world. Ruth beamed as she opened her eyes for the second time in her life. “It did work!” She turned to Barnaby, “Well, I can see you’re not as handsome as you claimed.”

                Barnaby laughed and tackled Jesus in a hug, “Thank You! Thank You!”

                “Thank You,” Shula beamed, “And thank you, my friend.” She turned to Barnaby and then back to Jesus, “What about him? His leg?”

                “No, no, I’m fine. Today is about you,” He turned to Jesus, clarifying, “It’s about her. Some other time, maybe.”

                Jesus nodded with a glint in His eye, “We’ll see. I think we’d all better get home. Barnaby, Shula will still need you to walk her home. Shalom shalom, friends.” What? You didn’t heal Barnaby?

                “Shalom shalom!” They walked away, and made it about five steps before turning around.

                “My leg!” Barnaby exclaimed, “It works!” He practically threw Jesus over his shoulder and danced around. “Thank You! Oh, praise Adonai!”

                Ruth looked at the whole scene in amazement. Every part of her stirred with happiness- well, almost every part. One part of her mind railed against the fact that someone else was healed, and not her. Shut up, Ruth’s brain. 

-----------------------------

                “So, you’re writing like this, right?” Matthew mimed writing in his book.

                “But I don’t write,” Ruth squinted, “My hand doesn’t work.”

                “Have you ever considered writing with your left hand?”

                “Well, I’d have to relearn how to write. But I’ll consider it.”

                “Hmm.” He contemplated the book in his hand, “That accounts for your lack of a pen.”

                “Yep. But in the meantime, I could… pretend to be writing?”

                “Okay.” He handed her the pen, and she bent her left hand around it. You know, this would be so much easier if I could just use my right hand. She mastered the art of looking like she was writing. “Now, you jab upward like this.” He mimed jabbing a pen upward into someone’s eye.

                She copied his movements a couple times until she had mastered it. “Huh, that was surprisingly easy. Wanna come with me and test out my new skills on Simon?”

                “No.”

                “Kidding,” She added with a grin when she saw his mortified face.

                Andrew and Philip burst into the house, out of breath and distressed. “Ruth?” Andrew asked, tilting his head. “What are you doing?”

                “Practicing stabbing someone with a pen,” she answered, somewhat shocked at his presence. She looked down to find Philip's foot bleeding. 

                “From what we’ve seen,” Philip said gravely, “You might need that pen soon.”

Chapter Text

                “I can’t believe you’re back!” Ruth looked at them each in turn.

                “Well, at least someone’s happy to see us!” Philip exclaimed as he fell into a chair.

                “He’s a… different Philip right now,” Andrew said mildly. He motioned to Judas, who sat in the corner of the house, “What are you doing here?”

                “Helping the women make packages of food for the homeless.” Judas held his hands up, afraid to rock the boat. “Little James says it’s a Purim tradition.”

                “Oh, Purim!” Philip said the word like he was swearing. “How can you think about holidays at a time like this?”

                “Because it’s a holiday, duh.” Ruth rolled her eyes. Andrew gave her a warning look. She shrugged and replied, “I can match his cranky energy. What happened at the Decapolis to get your prayer tassels in such a twist?”

                “Our teaching,” He grew quiet, “We made a mess.”

                “Not intentionally!” Andrew stood up in agitation. So when one calms down, the other freaks out? “We preached what our Rabbi told us to preach! That’s it! Some people just… took issue!” He grabbed a cloth from a nearby shelf, “Where is the vinegar?” Ruth raised a single eyebrow, unimpressed.

                She stood her ground, “With that attitude, you’re not getting anything.”

                Andrew sighed and asked more gently, “Please, where is the vinegar?”

                “Bottom shelf, to the right.”

                Judas corrected, “Actually, it’s the middle shelf.”

                “You rearranged my cabinets?!”

                Philip sighed, “The Decapolis is in a meltdown, and we’re arguing about cabinets?”

                “This is my house!” Ruth continued berating Judas, “You didn’t even tell me!”

                “Mary gave me permission to organize!” Judas said in his defense. “She told me she appreciated it!”

                “Oh, she says that to everyone!”

                He sighed and turned to Philip, “Why do you need vinegar, anyway?”

                “To disinfect the wound,” Philip said dramatically, “So it doesn’t spread through my mortal body and kill me where I sit.” Andrew pressed the cloth up against the wound. “Oh, Hades,” He muttered.

                “What did you guys even say?” Ruth asked.

                “Well, you know how some people respond to teaching- ow- and some people respond to parables? We thought we could speak a parable.”

                “That’s good. I like His parables, even though I can’t understand them half the time. Which one did you choose?”

                “The Banquet,” Andrew grumbled.

                “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

                Tamar walked in to see what was going on. She asked, “Oh? What happened?”

                “These men told the Banquet to a crowd of Jews, Gentiles, and Hellenists!”

                “What’s the Banquet?”

                “Oh, that’s right, you weren’t there. So, basically, a guy is throwing a wedding banquet. And he invites all the rich people, but the rich people won’t come. So, he tells his servants to go get the poor people. The poor people come and have a great time at the banquet. And the guy shuts his doors, and all the people who didn’t come are subjected to ‘weeping and gnashing of teeth’, whatever that means.”

                “It comes from Jesus, so it’s perfect, don’t get me wrong,” Andrew explained, “but I think He shares it when He wants a challenge.”

                Tamar raised her eyebrows, “You said this to a mixed crowd?”

                “We did not know the extent to which it was mixed.”

                “Look, I’m all up for starting fights with Pharisees on occasion,” Ruth jumped in, “but you may have just started a fight with an entire city.”

                “Ten cities,” He corrected with a sigh. “I don’t get why it didn’t work- God wants everyone to come to the party! The Master said to his servants, ‘I want my house filled!’ What part of that do people get offended at?”

                “The part where everyone gets to come.” She shrugged and looked at Andrew’s forlorn face. “Maybe it’s not all your fault. I mean, the Decapolis is kind of on edge already.”

                Philip said, “Would people be brawling in the streets if we hadn’t come and preached?”

                The door exploded open, and Nathanael burst in. “Chag Purim samech!” He looked at the reaction to his well-wishes. “Or… not. What happened to you?”

                “We may have caused a crisis in the Decapolis.”

                “So, talk to Jesus about it.”

                “We’ll talk to him first thing in the morning,” Andrew nodded. He whispered, “How often does Philip get like this?”

                “About twice a year. I just keep my distance.”

                “I’m sitting right here!” Philip protested.

                Ruth rolled her eyes, “We know.”

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                Once the crisis had been averted, Ruth ushered Philip and Andrew out of her house. Philip currently had a mood that would darken the entire room, and Andrew needed to go with him so Philip wouldn’t die, apparently. With all that over with, it was back to… preparing wood ash. Yay.

                During the most boring time of her life, Thomas came in through the entryway. “Hello, Thomas.” Matthew greeted, looking up from his writing. “I am…” He craned his neck, trying to see around him, “happy you have returned.”

                “Where’s Ramah?” Ruth asked bluntly. “Did you take my friend to Tel Dor and not even bring her back?”

                At that moment, John, Nathanael, and Big James came back with basketsful of wood ash. They didn’t seem any worse for wear after setting them down. “Where’s Ramah?” Nathanael asked. “Did her abba say no?”

                “Ramah is…” Thomas answered as Mary walked in, “She stayed behind to work on Kafni. He is not a believer.”  

                “In Jesus? But we knew that.”

                “In me.” He gave a sad chuckle. “Ramah’s working on him. We’re… hopeful.” He did not look at all hopeful as he walked out from under the archway.

                Zee came and set his baskets down, “The good news is we got the wood ash. The bad news is the townspeople now think the followers of Christ are up to some scheme.” He chuckled, waiting for people to laugh with him. No one did. “Did I miss something?”

                “Thomas is back,” Mary answered, “and we were wondering how it went at market?”

                Big James said, “We bought more than half the vendor’s supply of sulfur.” Sulfur? Why do we need that? I mean, I’m sure Tamar told me at some point. I’m not great at keeping up with this. I have more interesting things going on.

                Some boring conversation went on about the uses of sulfur, when suddenly Andrew and Philip barged in. Ruth squinted at them, “You’ve been walking aimlessly for the past half an hour?”

                “It was needed. Look, do you want nice Philip or angry Philip?” Andrew asked rhetorically. Angry Philip is actually somewhat fun. “Where’s Jesus?” He asked the room.

                Big James shrugged, “At our house, with my father. Why?”

                “Crisis in the Decapolis. We need His help.”

                “You need His help to solve a crisis with Gentiles?”

                Tamar crossed her arms, “I’m sitting right here.”

                “You’re different. There are hundreds of pilgrims here in Capernaum- our own people- who followed us from the Mount and are waiting to hear more!”

                “He never promised them more teaching,” Andrew argued. “The Gentiles are curious now!”

                Philip added, “This was foretold in Isaiah. Don’t you remember?” Probably not. “Behold, My servant Whom I have chosen, My Beloved with Whom My soul is well pleased. I will put My Spirit on Him, and He will proclaim justice to the Gentiles, and in His name the Gentiles will hope!” The room went silent for a long time. Personally, I think that was pretty cool.

                “I have been studying the genealogy of Jesus,” Matthew spoke up, showing his parchment.

                “Sounds exciting,” Nathanael said sarcastically.

                “It is. And there appear to be many Gentiles in His own ancestry. Rahab, for example, was a prostitute in Jericho who married Salmon, who fathered Boaz. And Boaz married Ruth,” Hey, that’s me! “Who was a Moabite.”

                Mary offered, “We could just let Jesus decide for Himself?”

                “See, this is why you’re my best friend.” Ruth agreed.

                “She’s right.” Big James nodded. “Let’s go.” Oh, wait, we’re doing this now? Hang on! Ruth grabbed a piece of pita, stuffed it in her mouth, and began to run out the door.  

                 “Ruuuuth?” Mary leaned her head out the door, “Aren’t you going to help Tamar divide the wood ash into bowls?” It’s like you’ve just asked me to help watch paint dry. Nothing exciting happens while I’m dividing wood ash into bowls.

                “Yes,” She grumbled and went to work. Mary and Matthew did have a conversation, which was beautifully awkward. There was that solace.

--------------------------------------------------

                 “So, did Jesus decide? Are we going to the Decapolis?” Ruth asked with a giant grin on her face as soon as Andrew got back from his meeting. 

                “Yes, we are.” He looked somewhat solemn, nonetheless. “Adonai, I really hope He can fix things.”

                “Obviously, He can.” She squealed, “I haven’t traveled with Him since the Mount! I’m so excited- you know, I haven’t seen the Decapolis before.”

                “Why are you talking like you’re going?”

                She paused her celebrations, “Because I’m going, right?”

                “No? You and the women are staying here. The Decapolis is way too dangerous for you all to travel with us. Capernaum is safe.”

                “Being safe is for losers.”

                “Alive losers.”

                “Same difference. I’ve been stuck in Capernaum for literally forever, can’t I come with you?”

                He shrugged, “If you can’t accept a no from me, go ask Jesus.”

                “Alright, I will!” She grabbed her bag and started to head out the door.

                “Wait, aren’t you going to tell me goodbye? We leave at first light tomorrow.”

                She rolled her eyes and turned around, “Just in case Jesus says no, goodbye, Andrew. You’ll do great. As long as you actually fix things this time.”

                “Well, you didn’t have to rub it in.”

                “Hello, Rabbi.” Ruth skipped over to John’s house.

                “Good afternoon, Ruth. You’re staying in Capernaum.” Jesus said with a small smile.

                “What? How did You kno-“ She groaned, “I shouldn’t be surprised. Look, I agreed with the two-by-two missions, because those were specifically for Your apostles. I’m just a disciple, I get why I didn’t go. But this is like a couple months ago. You know, when we were traveling all around, and making people mad, and making people glad, and making people heal…ad.”

                “Nice rhyming work,”

                “So why can’t I go?”

                “Because I have things for you to do here. And,” He shrugged, “Andrew’s right. The Decapolis is too dangerous.”

                “Yeah, that’s what makes it fun.”

                He chuckled, “Ah, Storm Girl. There will be a time in your life when you have so much adventure you don’t know what to do with it. But right now is not that time. You are needed here. Your friends need you here.” Well, twelve of my friends get to go to the Decapolis. And I don’t.

                “Hmm,” she said, and it came out like a grumble. “Okay.”

                “Okay?”

                “Okay.” Her mouth said ‘okay’, but her face said the exact opposite. Don’t get me wrong, Rabbi, I trust You. I just don’t really like this particular decision that I trust You with.

                “I know,”

                “Aah! I forgot You could do that.”  

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                Time to go to market. When I could be going to the Decapolis. Hooray. Joy and thanksgiving. I am thrilled right now. She lugged her basket along, not very thrilled. Oh, there’s Simon bar Jonah! Simon stalked toward her, looking like he was about to kill someone. Huh, I wonder what’s up.

                “Shalom, Simon!” She waved at the man. “Why aren’t you going to the Decapolis? I wouldn’t miss out on all that for the world, if I were you. So why are you here in dusty old Capernaum?”

                “Just stop talking,” He muttered.

                “Excuse me?”

                “I don’t feel like talking.”

                “You’re not any fun lately- I guess, even less fun than usual. It’s boring.”

                “Well, I’m sorry that I’m bothering you so much.” His sarcasm had more bite than it did normally. Somewhere lurking underneath was anger, and under that a world of hurt. Ruth tilted her head.

                “Are you going to tell me what’s going on, or do I have to ask your brother?” She examined all the reasons Simon could possibly be mad. John and Big James could definitely have done something. But they’re more of annoyances, not anger-inducers. Matthew could also be it. But I thought they were on good terms. Simon gets really mad at anyone who hurts Eden. So that means… “Are you mad at me?”

                “What?”

                “You heard me. See, you probably know this, but while you were away, I took Eden to the tent city. And, accidentally, I think I really offended her.” She frowned, “I didn’t know I had hurt her so bad. But if that’s the case, then she should really talk to me about it herself. I’m approachable.”  

                “Not everything is about you!” He exploded. Well, that was unexpected. “The world doesn’t revolve around you. People have their own problems that they have to work through, and you really don’t have to go meddling in everything! So no, I’m not mad at you! I’m angry that the world is so broken, and that He who has the power to fix it won’t!”

                “Wow, uh-“ She blinked, taken aback. “I’m… sorry.”

                “Yeah, so is everyone.” He walked away without another word. Well, something’s up with him. That’s for sure.

-------------------------------------------------------

                The next day, she went with Salome, Zebedee, and Mary to go see Eden. Seems kind of like an intervention, Ruth mused. They knocked on the door and let themselves in.

                “I want to start this out by saying that we are worried about you,” Zebedee said, “And we’ve noticed that you and Simon have been having issues.”

                “It’s nothing to worry about,” Eden gave a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

                “Eden,” Salome said gently, and Ruth watched Eden’s walls began to crumble. “Is everything alright?”

                “I said, it’s nothing to worry about. I’ve just been abnormally emotional, that’s all. Simon and I are going through some difficulties, that’s all.”

                “I know you wanted to start a family,” Zebedee mentioned, and at that her face dropped. “But Simon is away so often. Have you been arguing about that?” Eden’s face went pale, like that day at the tent city. Wait a minute, like that day at the tent city! Oh, curse it. Ruth gave glances to both Salome and Mary. They noticed it too. “Is something the matter?”

                “Zeb,” Salome asked gently, “could you please excuse us for a minute?”

                “Oh, sure.” The chair scraped against the floor, disturbing the sudden silence as he got up. The door slammed shut, and they were left alone.

                “Eden,” Ruth squinted at her, “Is… that why when you saw Deb…”  It took no more words to bring Eden to silent sobs. Oh, Adonai.

                “I lost the baby during Simon’s trip,” Eden whispered, “and I didn’t want to alarm him right away. So, I held it in for so long, and now it’s worse than if I had never told him. He was so angry, and I don’t know how to love him and love my baby at the same time!”

                “He needed to know,” Salome rubbed her back, “and we needed to know. We will go through this together. Whatever you need from us, we’ll provide it.”

                “Eden, I have not known you for very long and I probably shouldn’t be saying this, but…” Mary looked up nervously.

                “No, it’s okay,” Eden nodded, “Go ahead.”

                “You said you’ve completed your ritual purification?”

                “Yes. Not in the mikvah, because the cistern was broken. But in the sea. When Veronica cleansed in the sea, she felt so much joy. I felt worse.”

                “Veronica had been healed. Her anguish was over,” Salome smiled sadly, “You are at the beginning of your grief, child.”

                “Do you wish to speak to a rabbi?” Mary asked.

                “The only Rabbi I’d want to speak to isn’t here.” Eden sobbed, “He gave Veronica healing and joy. He hasn’t given that to me.”

                “I think you should go to synagogue. It isn’t about the rabbi there- it’s about the words that God gives us. And that is the balm to our aching souls.”

                “I know this. But…” She voiced a question she was afraid to ask for the past several months, “Can God give me rest if it was God who chose to take my child?” And it was a question none of them could answer.

Chapter Text

                You know, they’ve been gone a full three days and nothing’s happened. Ruth looked longingly out the window. The night before, Eden had re-purified herself in the mikvah. She dipped herself in seven times, for some reason whispering, ‘Don’t let him go’. After she got out, she had looked better than she had in weeks. Still, a sad damper covered the entirety of Capernaum. Ruth figured she’d fix it by getting Eden an orange. And a few pomegranates wouldn't hurt, either. Be honest with yourself, the pomegranates are entirely for you. Not Eden. But Eden gets the orange, so it's fine. 

                “The prices of fruit have gone up drastically,” she muttered. “Or is it my money that has gone down?” She grabbed her supplies. On her way home, she walked by the tent city.

                Reuben grabbed her arm as soon as she passed by, “Do you know what they’re doing to us?” He seemed quite distressed, so Ruth assumed it wasn't metaphorical. 

                “Uhhhhh, what?”

                “The Romans! They’re going around, enforcing regulations that nobody really cares about. Several people are leaving.”

                “Oh, no,” she rushed into the tent city to find everything in disarray. Some tents had been knocked over, while other spaces stood empty. At the head of it all was Cassius. This man? Again? Really? He was the tent city’s very own terror. He knocked over any damaged tent, yelling that any gathering over five people was “disturbing public peace”. It made Ruth’s cheeks flush with near-the-surface anger.

                 “Hey, Roman!” She yelled at him. He turned from his evil work, facing her.

                “You,” He walked toward her, his hands dangerously near his sword. “The one who spit upon me!” Yeah. And I’ll do it again! Try me!

                “You, the biggest bully alive. You know, my life has been a little boring lately. I’m totally up for making it more interesting by stopping you.”

                “You’re saying you wish to stop the law?”

                “Not the law, just you, specifically. Because you’re bullying my friends. Which are, you know, made up mostly of women and children. And I don’t really stand for that,” Her jaw ticked. “Get out of here.”

                “Oh, so now this Hebrew rat is threatening me.”

                “Not threatening you. Just giving you an angry command.” She crossed her arms. “And don’t call me a rat.” He chuckled, like Ruth was an ant waiting to be squished. This fueled Ruth’s anger even more. Another Roman in another camp knocked over someone’s campfire, sending smoke into the air. “No, what are you doing?!” She ran over.

                “Quintus’s orders,” the Roman said, in a very annoying tone of voice. “Any violators of public peace are to be ousted.”

                “Oh, to Hades with your public peace!” She threw her hands up. “You know what would be publicly peaceful? If you left us.”

                “These people wreck the economy of Capernaum. And,” He said, leaning in, “there are reports that a Rabbi is building an army out of them.”

                “An army? Out of these people? Yeah, okay, sure. I know the guy. And I don’t think He’s doing any army-building any time soon.” Nope, He just brought all my friends to the Decapolis without me. Fun times.

                “You know Jesus of Nazareth?” He straightened up, suddenly interested. Oops.

                “Uhhhhh, yeah. You know, I think you guys have it all wrong. These people are just pilgrims. But apparently, Quintus thinks that these people are oh-so-scary terrorists. Tell him to lighten up.” She rolled her eyes. You know, it’s your guys’ fault that my friends are possibly in danger. And you’re moving the tent city out?! I’m not going to stand for it. I really, really don’t like any of you. The unfairness of the world frustrated her almost to tears.

                “Are you mocking Roman authority?”

                “Yeah, it’s like a hobby for me.”

                Another Roman terrorized the camp, and the first two weren’t getting any better. I have a bad idea. Ruth grinned at the thought of it. I’ve got three pomegranates here. Man, I wonder what they could be used for besides eating. Something that’d make me feel much better about everything. She glanced around her and made her no one besides Romans would be involved in her bad idea. The Roman continued, though she wasn’t listening, “Do you have any idea what consequences I can give to you?”

                “Nope. But they probably won’t be that bad!” With that, she put a pomegranate in her left hand and chucked it at him. She turned and fired one at Cassius. Then she angled herself toward the third Roman who was destroying someone’s camp and hit him in the back of the head. Yes, I distracted them! …Now what? Running? Running is good. She leapt over tents, sure she was free, and then- clank. She ran into a wall of armor.

                “No way.” She groaned. “How do I keep running into you?!”

                “Because you interfere with my job, and I like doing my job.” Gaius put his hands on his hips. He gestured to Cassius, “What seems to be the problem?”

                “She hit me in the head with a pomegranate!” Cassius groaned.

                “And I had fun doing it, too.” Ruth bit. “I did it because your comrades here keep torturing the people! They are peaceful pilgrims, and they’re getting evicted and terrorized for what? So that your little governor can have an ego boost? What is he, a baby? Is Quintus a little baby who can’t handle people having something to believe in besides him? Well, I think that’s unfair! I think you should go out and actually do the thing you promised when you conquered us- what was it? Pax Romana? Yeah, definitely a lot of peace when you’re out here wasting your time-“

                “You make serious accusations against our praetor,” He stepped forward with a gleam in his eye. “And you’ve assaulted three Roman officers.”

                “Yeah, I did. What are you going to do about it, arrest me?” she scoffed.

                That last phrase would go down in history for its irony. If there was a dictionary of famous last words, it would be under W, along with “Well, that wasn’t so bad” and “What could go wrong?”. “What are you going to do about it, arrest me?” is only a question you ask if you really, really want to be arrested. However, Ruth did not know this.

                Sooner than she knew it, her hands were bound behind her back, and she was walking toward the Roman offices. Basically, everyone in the market saw her. Good, let them see me. She grit her teeth as she marched forward, then they’ll know that the Romans love harassing innocent people. When they got there, she was shoved into a tiny holding cell. This is a really horrible day for me.

                “You’ll stay here until someone pays your bail, or until we decide what to do with you.” A guard informed her.

                “Well, how long will that take?!” She leaned against the bars.

                “Could be hours. Or days.” Days?? You’ve got to be kidding me. I mean, I don’t regret what I did for a second, but are you sure it’s days? Do Romans have a different calendar than Jews? Maybe ‘days’ to them are like… a couple hours?

                She sat in the floor of a dingy cell and contemplated her situation. The pomegranate thing was fantastic, yes. But she didn’t actually think she’d face dire consequences for it. Oh, Adonai, what if this reflects badly on the ministry? I can see the Pharisees now. ‘Did You know that one of Your followers went to jail?’ Once again, her temper had become less of a tool and more of an enemy. Curse it, that was really stupid. Like, really stupid. She leaned against the wall and did what any reasonable person would in her situation: started crying.

                “I mean,” she said through tears, “The concept of going to jail is awesome. I just don’t like it in practice.” She looked around the cell, the concrete blocking her in, “maybe I’ll like it better the next time I’m here.” She curled into a ball on the cold floor. Her dress and veil felt like they’d choke her alive. “Well, cue the vultures.” She chuckled.

                Sleeping wasn’t comfortable on the concrete floor. Nevertheless, she slept, and everything ached when she woke up. Even her right wrist ached, which Ruth didn’t know was possible. She stretched, trying to free the soreness from her body. Curse it! She realized the time of day- early morning, when she had gone to the tent city in the afternoon. What will Mary and Tamar think, now that I’ve been gone for an entire day?

                She glanced at the empty walls around her. There wasn’t really anything to do in prison- just sit there and contemplate what she’d done. She didn’t do much contemplating, though. She’d already contemplated enough. Her conclusion was that needed to move to Gaul under a different name and live a lonely life as a sheep farmer. Her feelings about what she had done were too complicated- might as well forget about everything and tend to sheep. In fact, over the next week, her plan was solidified. She’d use her remaining orange and a good relationship with the captain to sail far away. Curse it! I forgot I have to actually get out of jail first. Well, there goes that plan. Also, I have no idea how to care for sheep.

                A guard came and pressed himself against the bars. “Somebody paid your bail,” The guard said, “You’re free to go.” And just like that, the cell door opened. She stood up and walked out, stretching her legs for the first time in days. Everything seemed so much brighter.

                “Who?” Ruth gave him a passing glance before walking out.  

                “Chose to remain anonymous,” He went back to his work, ignoring her.

                Anonymity isn’t any fun. Now I’ve got to figure out who it was myself! I don’t think any of the disciples have any money. Unless Joanna gave us more. She’s been doing that lately. She walked, the sudden colors assaulting her senses. I hope it wasn’t Mary. Not only will I feel guilty that I ended up in jail, I’ll feel guilty that she had to pay for it!

                She walked through the market, gaining passing glances and whispers. Oh, wait, now I have to buy more pomegranates. Three more pomegranates filled her bag. She tried taking the least conspicuous route home. Most of the people in the market liked her, but those who didn’t like her would run their mouths. And she couldn’t have that.  

                “Spread the word about Jesus of Nazareth,” She whispered to everyone she could, her voice breaking as she did so. Because I don’t think I’ll be able to anymore. Of course, Jesus forgave Mary when she ran away. But I did something much worse. I actually went to prison. I actually assaulted somebody! Three people! I mean, it was fun, but also really bad! And I don’t think He can accept me back, because then everyone will whisper that He’s got a former prisoner, and then the ministry will be hurt, and then everything will go down very quickly and it’ll probably end with Jesus arrested instead of me! Woah. Slow down, Ruth. That probably won’t happen.

                “Shalom!” A familiar face disturbed her from her twist of thoughts. Time to hide! She dipped into an alleyway. “Helloooo?” The Man followed her, obviously knowing where she was. Curse it, Rabbi! Ruth weaved and dodged throughout the streets, not wanting to face Him. She’d rather find Batta and learn how to become a shepherdess rather than face the consequences of her actions. I can’t believe He’s back already- well, Ruth, you were in there for a week. Ugh! A full week! I’m so stupid. She stopped to catch her breath.

                “Ah, Ruth.” Jesus smiled down at her. Adonai, there’s no getting out of this now. “I was looking for you.” Yeah, I know!

                “Uh, hi, Rabbi.” She waved at Him awkwardly. “I didn’t know You were back already. How was the Decapolis?”

                “I figured you’d rather hear the story straight from your friends’ mouths. Which is why I went looking for you.” He maintained a smile, like He didn’t know.

                “Rabbi, I…” She squeezed her eyes shut, afraid that tears would come out. “I’m not worthy.”

                “Well, nobody is. That’s why I came.”

                “Yes, I know that! It’s just that…” Come on, just spit it out. “I made a mistake. I mean, it was a fantastic mistake, but it was still a mistake.”

                “People make mistakes.”

                “I know that!” She burst, “I… got arrested! I was in prison for a week!” She slumped down in the alleyway, pulling her knees to her chin.

                “I know,”

                She looked at Him, surprised, “And You’re still talking to me?”

                “Yes. You’re My disciple, after all.”

                “But I went to jail!”

                “And?” He said with a small smile.

                “I’m a criminal!”

                “And?”

                “I… assaulted someone! With a pomegranate! I chucked a pomegranate at the head of an officer of the law! He probably has a concussion now!”

                “Ruth, do you really think that would change anything?”

                She looked at Him in shock, “Kinda, yeah!”

                “Hm? I’m surprised by that. Especially considering one of your favorite phrases of Mine.”

                “I’ve got a lot of those,” She chuckled wryly.

                “Well, that’s a good thing. But I mean the first one.”

                “‘God does not see some sins as worse than others’? That one?”

                “Yes. Did you just think it didn’t apply to you?” He raised a brow.

                Ruth had to think about that one for a while. She squinted at the sky, trying to determine why she felt so bad. “I guess so. Huh. That’s weird. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that.”

                “Well, I’m here to remind you.”

                “I just-“ She grumbled, “I know it was a really bad move. But You know why I did it. Everything is unfair. And unfairness is so frustrating. I know You’re not what we were expecting, but I kinda was hoping that the unfairness would decrease? At least a little.”   

                He sighed sadly and stood up. “Would you walk with Me a while?” She stood up with Him and started walking. “I came to bring salvation to My people.”

                “The Israelites?”

                “Everyone. And yes, justice will come.”  

                “When?”

                “Soon,” He winked. “The time for justice is soon. But right now, is the time of salvation. And because sin is in the world, things will still be unfair. Romans will bully innocent people, the noble will die, and My people will suffer.” Tears came to His eyes, like He saw all of His people suffering in real time. “It hurts Me, too. But this unfairness does open a possibility- for people like you to be fair.”

                “Unfortunately, I don’t think throwing food at people is in your definition of ‘fair’?”

                “No.” He chuckled. “It includes things like speaking out against the darkness, but also fighting the darkness with light. It’s like… fighting fire with water instead of fighting fire with fire.”

                “And that back there was definitely fire.”

                “Exactly.” He looked to her, “Your hunger for righteousness is powerful. I admire it. You look out for the helpless and are willing to fight on their behalf. But,” He tilted His head back and forth, “that hunger combined with a temper can be harmful. So, I hope this is a lesson to try and keep it in check.”

                She sucked a breath in through her teeth, “Ohhh, yes.”

                “I’m glad.”  

                “I like hanging out with You,” She grinned.

                “Me, too.” He turned a corner, “We’re almost at your house. And I’m pretty sure there are some people who’ve been waiting almost a week to see you.” She ran up to her door.

                Before she opened it, she turned around and asked, “Hey, Jesus, do You know who paid my bail? I’m curious.”

                “Well,” He winked, “it was meant to be anonymous.” As He turned away, Ruth got the rushing feeling that He had freed her. In more ways than one.

                “Ruth!” Mary ran toward her and hugged her. “Adonai, I was so worried. You were gone for a week! I thought you’d be in jail for good!”

                “Sorry,” Ruth melted into the hug. “You aren’t too mad at me, are you?”

                “I kind of am,” She admitted, “but you did go to jail. I think that’s punishment enough.” She took her arm and walked her to the house. Fourteen people stood by the door and mauled her with kindness.

                “What- why are you all here?” She asked, while being mauled.

                “We needed to meet,” Simon explained, “and we figured we’d do it here while waiting for our very own convict.”

                “Yeah, yeah. Wait, does that mean all of you know?” Her eyes widened in embarrassment.

                “Kind of hard not to know. As soon as we got back to Capernaum, Mary ran up to all of us and told us that you were missing. About two seconds later, we saw you being walked across the market.” He added with a chuckle, “I waved, but I don’t think you saw me.”  

                “Oh.” Was all she could say. Well, that was less embarrassing than it could’ve been, I guess.

                Andrew came up to her, hands behind his head, “You went to jail?”

                “Yeah,” She grimaced. She saw a lecture brewing on his face.

                “Do you know how stupid that was?!”

                “Yeah, I kind of got that from the seven days in jail thing.”

                “It could’ve been much more serious- do you know what you’ve gotten yourself into? You can’t just go around getting arrested, the consequences could’ve been much worse- did I already say that? Well, it’s true twice. I mean, what did you even do to get yourself arrested?! With the situation that we have right now, you-“

                “Andrew!”

                “What?”

                She grinned, “Thanks for worrying about me.”

                “Well, someone needs to,” He groaned, “since you don’t have a bone of impulse control in your body!”

                She rolled her eyes, “Yeah, yeah, I missed you too. Guys!” She called, stopping the chatter of the room, “You didn’t even hear how I went to jail!”

                “Must’ve been something bad,” John held in a grin.

                “Not that bad. I just hit three officers in the head with pomegranates. And these…” She lifted up her basket dramatically, “are not the same pomegranates. I had to get new ones.”

                “What?” He laughed. “That’s amazing! No way that’s true.”

                “Oh, it is.” She gave a face halfway between a grimace and a grin.  

                “I would’ve helped you!”

                “Yeah, because you’ve got much more stupid in you than I do.”  

                Andrew rolled his eyes, “John, don’t encourage her.”

                “No, please keep encouraging me.”

Chapter Text

               “Ramah!” She hugged her friend, “You’re back! How was your journey?”

                Ramah shrugged, seeming depressed, “Eh, it was alright.”

                “Did Kafni agree?”

                Mary jumped in, “Ruth, she just got back? Let her take a breath!” She gave Ramah a cup of water, took her bags, and led her to a chair. After all that was done, she asked, “So… what did he say?”

                “He did not agree,” Ramah sighed deeply, “to Thomas or Jesus.”

                “I’m so sorry! What will you do next?”

                “Well, I’ve done some research. I’m going to talk to Thomas about it tomorrow.” She looked up, clarifying, “As long as Shula and Barnaby agree to chaperone, of course.”

                “Ah, yes,” Ruth muttered, “because that is what we were most concerned about.” She said louder, “What research have you done?”

                “Well, I want to keep most of it a secret,” Her smile gleamed, “but I’ve been reading Jewish law, and Thomas and I may be able to get married.”

                “That’s amazing!” Ruth squealed. “I’ve never been to a wedding before. Well, one that was any fun, anyway.”

                “It’s not for sure yet,” She tried to tamper down her smile, but couldn’t, “I’ve been to lots of weddings too. And yet,” A little squeal escaped her mouth, “I have a feeling this one might be a bit different!”

                 “I’m so happy for you,” Mary hugged her, “When will you talk to Thomas?”

                “As soon as I find Shula and Barnaby. I think they were looking for Thomas,” she clapped her hands, “I’m so excited to discuss things with him!”

                “Wow, that’s soon,” Ruth mulled it over, “Hey, after you talk with him, do you want to help me with something?”

                Mary rolled her eyes with a smile, “You’re not still planning on this, are you?”

                “Well, Simon wouldn’t do it. And while Zebedee, Tamar, James and John are presenting the oil to the priests is the perfect time to do it!”

                “Do what?” Ramah blinked curiously.

                “Put a hundred fish in John’s house. Specifically, his room. Because I love Salome too much to put them anywhere else.”

                “…Actual fish?”

                “No, wooden ones- wait a minute,” She gained a dangerously mischievous grin, “If we filled his room with actual fish that would be really funny.”

                “I’m sorry I said anything.”

                “No, it’s fine, we won’t do real ones. I know this carpenter- not our carpenter- who’ll give me a bulk discount on small wooden fish because my grandmother used to buy me toys from him all the time. I also think I accidentally gave him like, five percent of my inheritance that one time. Anyway, we’ll put wooden fish figurines in his room.”

                “…Why?”

                “For fun!” She grinned. “We’ve been lacking in fun around here lately. For a number of reasons, which Mary or Tamar will tell you later.”       

                Tamar walked in the room, “Ruth got arrested.”

                “I thought you weren’t going to say anything!”

                Ramah looked at their faces, making sure they weren’t joking, “What?”

                “That’s not important right now. What’s important are the fish. So, are you in?”

                “Why me?”

                “I’d normally ask Simon, but he’s got Eden stuff going on right now. And I’d ask John, but it’s his room we’re filling the fish with. That wouldn’t work. Also, Mary said no.”

                “So, wait, why do you need anyone? Can’t you carry this out yourself?”

                “Because you’re my friend, and I want to hang out with you. Also, because I need a lookout. So, are you in?”

                “Uhm, I guess? Just let me talk to Thomas first?”

                Ruth peered out the window and checked the sun, “You have an hour and a half. That’s when the group will go to synagogue with the oil. We should buy the fish and wait outside their house for them to leave then. Got it?”

                “…Sure.”

                “Yay! Now go,” She practically pushed Ramah out the door, “talk to your betrothed!”

                She protested, “He isn’t my betrothed yet,”

                “Well, after this conversation he might be!” 

-------------------------------------------------------

                Ruth walked up to Shula and Barnaby with a large bag of small wooden fish figurines. They didn't notice her arrival, too focused on watching Thomas and Ramah. “Shalom shalom!” She whispered, “How are the lovebirds?”

                “They’re well,” Shula chuckled, “and don’t worry, I’m watching them like a hawk.”

                “I can attest to that!” Barnaby affirmed, “She’s even making me nervous.”

                “I’m not trying to make them nervous, I’m trying to make sure they behave.” She squinted at Thomas and Ramah leaning closer to each other, “Hey!” They quickly resumed their normal sitting positions.

                “You see what I have to deal with?” He whispered with a laugh.

                Ruth grinned, “I do. Well, apparently Shula isn’t making them behave enough. Ramah is five minutes late.”

                “For what?”

                “I’m going to fill John’s room with carvings of fish. Ramah’s helping,” She pulled a fish out of the bag and showed him. It was a crude carving, but for this cheap Ruth wasn’t going to complain.

                Barnaby belly laughed, “You are certainly creative.”

                “I try.” She shrugged. Ramah looked behind herself and Ruth waved at her. “Ah, there she comes.” Once Ramah got near enough, she asked, “So, are you guys going to get married yet?”

                Ramah gave a small nod then added, “Of course, we’re going to ask Jesus first. But the odds are looking good.”

                “Cool!” Ruth called, “Bye, Thomas!”

                Thomas squinted, “Where are you taking Ramah?”

                “You’ll see! Bye!” She ran away, dragging Ramah with her. They ran around the alleyway to the busy streets, near John’s house. “Okay, so the plan is, you be a lookout.”

                “Why?” Ramah tilted her head.

                “Have you never pranked someone before?” The two shared glances, “Yeah, don’t answer that. Your job is to look for John, James, and Zebedee’s return. When you see them coming back, I have to be done so he doesn’t find out. When you see them, give me a…bird call so I know to get out of there.”

                “Oh, like this?” She gave a horrible imitation of a vulture. The people walking in the street stopped to make sure that Ramah wasn't dying, it was so bad. 

                "...Yeah, sure. I’ll be done before they’re back, anyway.” Ruth waited for a clearing in the traffic and ran over to the house. She signaled Ramah to come after her. The turquoise veil adorning Ramah’s head was like a smoke signal that could be seen a mile away. Suffice it to say, it was not very conspicuous. Eh, it’ll probably be fine.

                Ruth knocked on the door and Salome answered. She grinned, “Shalom, Ruth! If you wanted to see either of the boys, they’re out right now.”

                “We know. We want to fill John’s room with wooden fish.”

                “You’re getting him back?” She gasped excitedly. “I heard about your adventure with Simon.”

                “Not technically ‘back’, since I wasn’t the victim of our hijinks. But yeah, basically!”

                Ramah tentatively raised her hand, “I was dragged into this.”

                “Don’t be a kidder. She comes willingly.” She assured Salome. 

                “Define willingly,”                                               

                Salome laughed, “I am happy to be complicit. Come in, then.” She sat Ramah down at the table and poured her a cup of tea. “We’ll watch out for the boys.” Ruth walked with Salome into another section of the house, “It’s the first room on your right.”

                She ran into the room. It was somewhat small, with two beds flanking it. It’d be really funny if I only put fish on John’s side of the room. But which one is John’s side? She searched the walls, looking for clues. Her eyes landed on the phrase JOHN’S SIDE!! Written in bad handwriting on the wall. Oh. I see. Well, time for the fish.

                Each wooden fish found their home in her master plan. Some lived on the bed, and Ruth imagined they were having Shabbat dinner. She sat even more on the floor, creating an intricate maze in the room. About halfway through, she checked her bag. This is way more than a hundred fish. Do I just not know how to count? Eh, I can do more with more than a hundred, anyway. She placed all the fish and then looked back at her masterpiece. An army of fish had invaded poor John’s room. It was absolutely perfect.

                “Caw!” Ramah sent the signal. “Uh, caw!” Thanks, Ramah! I’ve got to get out of here. She crept out the back door and up the stairs to the roof. I want to see his face. Laying down against the straw, she watched with a bird’s-eye view of her prey walking back from the synagogue, oil-less. Oh, they were able to sell the oil! Yay!

                “Ramah?” John squinted- or at least, Ruth thought he squinted, since she could only see the top of his head, “What are you doing here?”

                “Just hanging out with Salome.” She said in a voice wavering with humor. Ramah! You’re a terrible liar! Which is usually a good thing, but not right now!

                “I see.” He entered the house, full of suspicion. Ruth didn’t see anything after that, since he went in the house. But she lowered her ear to the straw, aching to hear his reaction. She heard absolutely nothing. Maybe the other ear? She was focused so intently that she didn’t hear John climb up the stairs behind her and sit beside her. “Fish, huh?”

                She scrambled to her feet with a startled laugh, “John! You scared me!”

                “That was the point.”

                “How did you get up here?”

                “See, there’s this thing called stairs.”

                “Well, yeah, I knew that. But how did you know?”

                He chuckled, “You think I saw a bunch of wooden fish in my room and didn’t instantly know it was you?”

                “I had nothing to do with it. They migrated there,” she joked, “and they’re having Shabbat dinner. Don’t disturb them.”

                “It’s the fifth day of the week!”

                “Fish weeks are different than our weeks, you see. Their weeks start on our second day, so it’s actually the sixth evening for them right now.”

                John did the math in his head, “That would make it the fourth day for them, right?”

                “Well, you just don’t understand it because you’re not a fish.”

                “Oh, forgive me.” He put his hands up in mock surrender, “And Ramah? How did you manage to drag Ramah into this?”

                “I didn’t drag Ramah into it. She was a very willing participant.” She turned around to see Ramah coming up the stairs, “Tell him, Ramah. Weren’t you a very willing participant?”

                Ramah smiled, “At first, no. But it turned out kind of fun. I felt like I was doing a secret operation.”

                “That’s what I’m talking about, right there.”

                “I’m curious,” Ramah turned to John, “What will you do with all the fish?”

                “Well, first, I’ll let them have their fourth-day Shabbat dinner.” He nodded wisely.

                “Their what?”

                Ruth clarified, “It’s okay, Ramah. You don’t understand because you’re not a fish.”

                “That makes sense. I am, in fact, not a fish.” She grinned, “Although I do get up to fishy business like this sometimes.”

                “That was terrible!” She groaned through her laugh. “Oh, by the way, are you going to tell everyone about your conversation with Thomas?”

                This gained John’s interest, “What conversation?”

                “Well, I think she’s going to tell you.”

                Ramah shrugged, “I think most of us are at Simon’s right now. I'll tell everyone now. Want to head over?”

                “Yep. Bye, John! Have fun with the fish!”

                “Wait,” John stood up and jumped most of the stairs. He somehow landed on the ground unharmed. “I’m coming too!”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

                “I saw the last bit of their meeting,” Ruth told Mary, who stood outside the house, “and they were all like,” she comically deepened her voice, “Ramah, I love you so much! I’m going to marry you!’ and then Ramah was all,” she pitched up her voice, “I love you too, Thomas! Let’s get married and be all sappy!”

                Ramah laughed, “That is about the exact opposite of what happened.”

                “I wouldn’t say the exact opposite. I think I was pretty close.”

                “I’m so happy for you!” Mary hugged Ramah, “so you’ll be able to get married if you have witnesses and he gives you an object of high value?”

                “That’s basically it,” Ramah nodded. “And if Jesus agrees, of course.”

                “I’m sure He will.”

                The happy returns continued, which Ruth got somewhat bored of. Thomas came too, and everyone wished the couple well. So, Ruth’s eyes wandered to the streets beside them. Neither Andrew nor Judas had come to the house yet. Huh, I wonder why. Maybe I’ll go to their house and force them to come and share in the good news. She was about to do so when an unfamiliar sight caught her attention. Ooo, a horse! The most beautiful horse she had ever seen pulled a gleaming golden carriage up to Andrew’s house.

Wow, is royalty visiting them? A familiar woman robed in purple stepped out of the carriage. She seemed distressed. “Joanna?” Ruth thought out loud. “Huh, I wonder why she’s here.”

                “Andrew!” Joanna’s anguished shouts carried over across the street. “Andrew, are you home?!” Oh, Moses. What’s going on? What happened? Ruth ran as fast as she could, but it wasn’t fast enough. The others followed her, but they weren’t fast enough either. The worst had already happened.

                When she got there, Andrew looked like he had just had a sword run through his soul. “Andrew?” Ruth looked from Andrew to Judas to Joanna. “What’s wrong?”

                “John is-“ Andrew’s voice stopped, unable to complete the sentence. “He’s-“ Oh. Oh, no.

                People used the expression ‘my heart dropped’ all the time. Ruth no longer thought that was a suitable phrase for what she felt in that moment. For when she saw Andrew sink to the ground trying to hold it together, her heart more than dropped. Someone punched it out of her chest, leaving a hole where it used to be.

                Let me take it! She silently pleaded with Adonai as she saw one of her best friends crumble into a million pieces. Let me feel this, instead of him! Let me hurt instead! Please. Her calls went unanswered. In this, she was helpless. She couldn’t do anything! She couldn’t lighten the mood with a quip, or even yell at the one who hurt her friends. Against the great Death, Ruth had no defenses.

Simon ran to him, helping him up. “We should’ve been prepared,” Andrew whispered. No, we shouldn’t have! How can you be prepared for someone dying?! “We knew this would happen.” Okay, but that doesn’t mean we should’ve been prepared. Even if you know someone’s going to die, that doesn’t mean you don’t feel anything when it happens.

                “We were prepared,” John said quietly, causing everyone to look at him. “John did what he came for- to prepare the way. He was the one who prepared us for Jesus.”

                “Jesus,” His eyes widened, “someone’s got to tell Him.”

                “I’ll go with you,” Simon nodded.

                Matthew looked around the corner, and when Ruth saw his face again his eyes were wide. “I don’t think we have to tell Him.” The others followed him and looked at the street.

                Jesus walked toward them, His clothes torn and ashes all over His face. Ruth never thought the Messiah could ever look that heartbroken. She wanted to run to Him, to hug Him and just cry with Him. But her feet couldn’t move. I can fix this. Her mind ran to pick up what her heart was too weak to bear. I can make it better. I’ll find a way! I can… buy an orange! Esther said that oranges are like light to the soul. And Mary said I’m good at making people smile. I can do that again! I can… I can… oh, Adonai, what can I do?

 But one look at her Friend’s face told her that this was a kind of sorrow not even she could fix.

Chapter Text

               I’ve got to make soup. I made Eden soup, and that helped. I’ve got to make them soup. Ruth’s train of thought swirled throughout the night. She got up earlier than she would’ve liked to, unable to go back to sleep. Dark circles adorned her eyes. I might as well start now. She filled a pot with water from a jar and began heating it up. Grabbing a cutting board and knife, she cut every vegetable she could think of and threw it in the pot. She threw random spices and some leftover lamb from dinner last night.

               Tamar, always an early riser, looked over Ruth’s shoulder, “You still don’t put cucumbers in soup.”

               “I know that!” Ruth protested, blatantly lying. “These are just… made special for you.”

               “Well, thank you.” She chuckled and took a handful. “Why are you making soup, anyway?”

               “For Andrew and Jesus. And maybe Philip, if there’s any left over when he gets back.”

               “Yeah, but you didn’t say why. I think they have enough food in the house.”

               “That’s not the point.” She shook her head vigorously, “The point is that I’m helping.”

               “Helping with what?”

               “I don’t know! It’s just a thing you do when someone’s sad! When my grandmother was still alive, and someone was sick or sad, she always instructed the cook to make soup and she took me to bring it over.”

               “I didn’t know you had a grandmother.”

                “For a while there I did. But that’s also not the point!” She grumbled. “The point is, I couldn’t help yesterday. I can help today.” She started muttering, “Somehow, I still haven’t gotten around to making Eden soup again. Too busy getting arrested. I might as well make another serving for her.”

                “Eden doesn’t need soup,” Tamar chuckled.

                She burst, “Yes, she does! …Sorry. I’m just… a little stressed.”

                “I think we all are.” She grabbed a knife and a stray carrot, “Here, I’ll help you.”

                “Thanks.”

--------------------------------

                “Ruth, where are you going?” Mary asked her with sleep-filled eyes as Ruth carried the pot of soup out the door. It was barely even the second hour.  

                “To the place Andrew and Jesus are staying,” Ruth shrugged. “I don’t know exactly where it is. I’ll find out.”

                “I don’t think you should do that yet.”

                “What?” She turned, almost spilling the soup. “Why not?”

                “You have never sat shiva before, have you?”

                “Once. When I was little. But I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

                Mary tried explaining this gently, “I don’t think you should visit them. The first three days after burial- and Adonai willing, John has been buried- are the days of most intense mourning.”  

                “I think I knew that,” She squinted, “Which is why I’m bringing them soup.”

                “It’s generally not recommended that you visit them.” She placed a hand on Ruth’s shoulder, “Right now, you can’t comfort them.”

                “I don’t get it. I can always comfort them. I want to see them.” She gently pushed Mary’s hand away and walked out the door, “Don’t worry. I can fix this.”  

                She knocked on the door of the house, “Shalom?” No answer came. “Shalom?” The door was unlocked, so she figured she’d go in. The house was completely dark. Light streamed in through the windows, but as soon as it reached the house it fell on the floor. As soon as she entered, Ruth felt a desperate need to get out of there. But she forced herself to continue. No matter how sorrowful this house is, this is where my friends are.

                “Ruth?” A shadow called with confusion. “What are you doing here?” Unmistakably, it was Andrew’s shadow. But the voice was so weak that it was like a great tree that had been cut down. Only the stump remained.

                “I brought soup,” Ruth held up the pot, unsure where she should look. She fell silent, expecting a ‘You? Bring soup?’ or a ‘Yeah, I bet it’s terrible’ or even a small chuckle. Nothing. “Uhm, where should I set it?” Again, no answer. She set it on the counter and set out for finding the shadow. As she crept around the room, she tripped on something in the corner. “Andrew?”

                “Shalom, Ruth.”

                Ow. She regained her balance and squinted at him in the dim light. He sat on the floor, knees to his chin. Eh, why not. She slumped on the floor beside him. Okay, what do I say now? I’ve never done this before. With Eden it was easier, because Salome and Mary were there to tell me what to do. “Have you been here all night?” She asked gently. At this, tears filled his eyes. Adonai-Moses-Daniel-Elijah-Elisha-David-Sheol-Hades-Styx!  She cursed mentally.

                “Yes,” He admitted.

                “Adonai, why?”

                “I just want to stay in this spot, in the shadows, forever.” A sob broke his words. “That way, I’ll never have to face the world.”

                “Okay. Then I’ll stay here forever too.”

                And she realized that was the only thing she could do. She couldn’t take his suffering or even ease his grief. Right now, she could just stay here. And that was the best she could do, but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough. “How are you doing?” Andrew asked, disturbing her train of thought.

                “What?”

                “How are you doing?”

                “Andrew, you-“ She grumbled at how the tables were turned. Is he asking that because I didn’t ask him first? See, I would’ve asked him first, but I thought his answer would be self-explanatory: really, really bad! “Fine. How are you?”

                “I’m…” He glanced around the bleak house, “I don’t really know.” His head thumped gently against the wall as he leaned back. “I just don’t know what to do now, you know?”

                “I don’t know either.”

                “And I don’t even know how I’m going to face Jesus when He wakes up. Because if I’m doing terrible, how do you think He’s doing? I only have known Jo- it’s knew now, isn’t it?”

                “I’m not really an expert on grammar.”

                He gave her a quick smile, and she knew she had helped. At least just a little. “I only knew John for five years, including after I met Jesus. And Jesus has known… knew… John for all His life. I just can’t imagine the state He’s in.”

                She tilted her head, contemplating this. “I’ve got an idea. We tag-team.”

                “What?”

                “We take turns checking in on Him. Ask how He’s doing, occasionally bring Him soup, just be there for Him. That’s all we can do. Just check on Him.”

                “Like how you’re checking on me right now?”

                “Yeah, something like that.” She went silent, looking at the room. It was like a giant hand pressed down on everyone in the house. I’ve got to get out of here. Grief had hands, and it was choking her. She had never been thrust into a pit of sadness this deep. “I’m gonna, uh… go get oranges from market.”

                “Wait, just a few minutes.” Andrew reached out to her, and she couldn’t do anything but sit back down. “Could you… stay here, please? And face Him with me?”

                “I’ll do my best.” She sighed, and they went silent again.

                “…Is the soup any good?”

                “Not really, no.”  

--------------------------------------------------------------

                Shiva seemed much longer than a week. Every day dragged on forever, and on the fifth day Ruth wasn’t sure she could handle much more. With Ramah’s help, she prepared a new kind of soup- matzo ball soup. And surprisingly, it wasn’t that bad.

                “Thank you, Ramah!” Ruth waved as she carried the pot of soup out the door. It was a relatively nice day. The sun shone and a flock of geese flew over her head. She smiled and the sun smiled back. Am I allowed to smile during shiva? I think so?

                She knocked on the door of the house. Thankfully, Jesus answered. She never wanted to see Him look as sorrowful as the day He’d shown up covered with ash.  Yet, something rotten inside her told her that it’d happen again. She shook off the feeling and smiled up at Him, “I brought soup! I think it’s actually good this time!”

                “Of course it is,” He grinned back, “Want to come in, set it down?”

                In just five days, the house had completely changed. It hadn’t yet been restored to its normal state, but the light streamed in through the windows and didn’t settle on the floor. The mood was depressing, but not hopeless. Good. I can’t handle any more hopelessness. With some difficulty, she set the soup on the counter.  

                “Thank you, Ruth. Andrew and I enjoy it very much.” Jesus gestured to Andrew, who grabbed three bowls from the cabinet and started filling them.

                “Oh, I don’t need any.” Ruth protested.

                “Did you eat already?”

                “No,” She said in a small voice, brushing over it, “But it’s all for you guys.”

                He grinned, “We know it’s ours, and we choose to share it with you.”

                “Oh.” She squinted at Him, “Alright, then.” Jesus prayed over their meal and they began to eat soup for brunch. Ruth had never eaten soup in the morning, but it was the best morning-soup she had ever experienced.

                “How are you doing, Ruth?”

                “Huh?”

                “How are you doing?” Jesus asked again, and Ruth realized the question couldn’t be avoided.  

                “I’m fine,” She shrugged, "How are y-" 

                Andrew slurped up the last of the bowl, “First of all, great soup. Second of all, you told me that when women say they’re fine, they’re never fine.”

                She held her hands up, “Okay, okay, then I’ll choose a different word. I’m good. You don’t have to worry about me.”

                “I’m the worrier, remember? It’s my job.”

                “Rabbi,” Ruth looked to Jesus for help in the situation. Andrew, you keep flip-flopping it around. I'm supposed to be asking YOU how YOU are! You're the one whose mentor died! 

                “He’s the worrier,” Jesus shrugged, “it’s his job.”

                “Ugh, alright. I’m good, okay, fine, great, spectacular even. How are you?”

                “You’ve got dark circles under your eyes,” Andrew noticed. "That's a sign of not sleeping well." 

                “I rubbed ash under them. I figured I’d start a new fashion trend. And you didn’t answer my question.”

                “You didn’t answer mine.”

                “You didn’t ask a question; you just made an observation. Not the same thing.”

                “Just tell me.”

                “Only if you tell me afterward!”

                “Fine!”

                “Fine!” She sighed, preparing her answer, “I’m a little sad, which is weird because I only met the guy once. What about you?”

                He shrugged, “I’m less sad than I thought I’d be. I don’t know how I feel about that. The first two days were rough, yes, but afterward it just felt like… normal with a puzzle piece missing, if that makes sense.”

                “It does.” She tilted her head, “So does that mean I don’t have to worry about you?”

                “You were worried about me?”

                “Yeah, duh.”

                “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m good.”

                “Well, sometimes I’ll worry anyway.”

                “And you don’t have to keep bringing us soup.”

                “See, saying things like that just encourages me to continue bringing you soup.”

                Jesus finished the last of His bowl and chimed in, “I would certainly appreciate that. However, I think your soup-giving will have to pause for a time.”

                “Hm?” She turned to Him, “What do You mean?”

                “Well, I don’t think you can make very much soup on the road.”

                She gasped, “On the road?” He nodded. “And is… everyone coming?” He nodded again. She desperately tried to contain her excitement- it was shiva, after all- but it showed plainly on her face. We get to go on an adventure again! Yesssss!! “Uhm, when are we leaving?” Act natural. Act natural. You are not at all phased by this information. Technically, everyone’s still in mourning. Ruth, stop smiling so much!

                “Tomorrow.”

                “Tomor- wait.” She squinted, trying to remember her faded memories of sitting shiva. “Can we do that?”

                “During this time, the mourners are to stay near their loved one’s home. And where else was John’s home but on the road?” He smiled. “Can I count on you to inform everyone?”

                “Well, of course, Rabbi- where are we going?”

                “Mount Hernon.”

                “Never heard of it!”

                Andrew scanned his brain, “Mount Hernon…in Caesarea Philippi? Isn’t that where they…” He paled and didn't finish his sentence, much to Ruth's chagrin. Where they what? 

                “Whatever it is, it sounds dangerous.” She tampered down her ever-growing grin, “And l like dangerous.”

Chapter Text

                “We’re going on a road trip,” Ruth sang to herself as she packed the next morning, “We’re going on a trip!” She sobered, “A depressing road trip. This is a depressing road trip. I am sad that we’re… finally doing something exciting! Yes!”

                Mary helped her finish packing. She chuckled, “You’re very happy this morning.”

                “It’s been literally forever since we’ve gone on a trip. Can you believe we haven’t gone on a trip since the big sermon?”

                “Hm,” She tilted her head back and forth, “I suppose I didn’t realize it’s been that long. Our time here has allowed for an increase in our olive oil business.”

                “Oh, yeah, the synagogue. I never got a chance to ask you or Tamar how that went.”

                Tamar came in, ready to go. “I heard somebody mention the oil?”

                “Yeah.” Ruth turned to her, pushing her own pack onto her shoulders. “How’d that go?”

                “The leaders accepted!” She squealed, “They will now exclusively buy their anointing oil from Zebedee’s presses. I’m so excited!” She danced, which made the jewelry on her head jingle.

                “Wow, that’s amazing.” She tried to press excitement into her voice. To be honest, oil about the most least interesting thing going on her life. But Tamar was excited about it.

                “Yes! Now we, the women, can have a more involved role in how it’s made! Now that we have the synagogue to supply, I’m sure we will be pressing the oil ourselves!” For some reason, this made Tamar happy. Oh. Great. I love… pressing oil.

                “I’m so happy you’ve found a niche in Capernaum,” Mary smiled as she led their little troupe out the door. “I was somewhat worried we wouldn’t have anything to do.”

                “Well, we’ll have something to do soon enough.” Tamar looked back with raised brows at Ramah.

                “Hmm?” Ramah looked up, lost in thought. “Oh, yes. I am happy to be able to serve His ministry in such a way.”

                “Yeah, I don’t think the oil is what’s on your mind.” Ruth laughed as they joined with the group. “Somebody’s thinking about Tho-mas,” she teased in sing-song.

                “I’m going to ask Jesus to be my male witness on this trip,” she said quietly. “And I’m hoping He’ll say yes.”

                “Now?”

                “I don’t see how there could be any other time.”

                Mary gave her a worried glance. “I mean, I’m sure He’d say yes any other time, but… why now? Do you think you should ask after the trip?”

                “I- I don’t know, I just feel like we have to do it now.” She lowered her face to the ground and whispered, “I feel like something bad will happen if we don’t do it now- that we won’t be able to get married, or something.” Tears pricked her eyes. That was…weird.

                “O-okay,” She rubbed her back, “Do whatever you feel you have to.”

                Feeling extremely uncomfortable with the whole sad situation, Ruth skipped over to where Philip and Nathanael walked. “Shalom.”

                 “Shalom,” Nathanael raised a hand, “Did Jesus tell you where we’re going?”

                “Yeah, didn’t I tell you already?”

                “No, you ran away before I could ask. You have a habit of doing that.”

                “Sorry. Well, it’s… uhm…. I forget the name of it. Mount… Fern?”

                “Fern?” He tilted his head, “I’ve never heard of a Mount Fern before.” He shrugged, “Must be somewhere new.”

                Philip laughed, “I think both of you need to work on your sense of direction. Don’t you know which way Jesus has been taking us?” Both of them shook their heads, “We’re going to Mount Hernon.”

                “I was close enough,” Ruth shrugged. “Oh, yeah, I remember that Jesus said it was Hernon. Isn’t that near Caesarea Philippi, where they do the…” She hoped someone would finish her sentence for her.

                “Exactly,” He nodded. Do the what??

                Nathanael added, “It’s also where I used to live.” He looked with contemplation at the mountains. Ruth had no idea what led Nathanael to Jesus, but something bad must’ve happened in Caesarea Philippi.

                “Don’t worry, you’re not the same man who I found lying on the floor depressed in your house in the middle of the day,”

                “Thanks for the memory,” He went silent, staring once again at the mountains.

                “Uh,” Ruth sensed the change in mood and quickly rushed to cover it, “Philip, speaking of memories, got any fun memories of John? He seemed like someone I’d get along with.”

                “He was,”  Philip grinned, “John was one of the strangest men I’ve ever known. He had one habit that I’ve never understood- he ate locusts and honey.”

                “For fun?”

                “Mm-hm.”

                “The honey part, I understand. But why… locusts?” She cringed.

                Philip shrugged, “I’m honestly still not sure. We received enough donations and walked past enough fruit trees for that to not be the only thing he ate. I suppose he liked it.”

                “Did you ever try it?”

                “The honey, yes. The locusts- I was not brave enough to try those.” He grinned, “He used to chase me around with those bugs, trying to make me eat one.”

                “Did he eat them raw? Or did he cook them in an oven? Because I’ve heard of people eating crickets when they’re dried in an oven.”

                “We barely had access to ovens. He would pick one off the trees like this-“ He picked one off the trees and held it in his hand. It squirmed, and Ruth imagined she could hear it beg for freedom in a tiny bug voice. “and just eat it raw!”

                “That’s… horrific.” She cringed, then gave a giant grin, “I’ll give you a quarter-shekel if you eat it!”

                “Right now?”

                “No time like the present.”

                Nathanael chimed in, “I’d like to see this. I’ll give you another quarter-shekel if you eat two.”

                Philip groaned, “Two? That’s not fair!” Ruth and Nathanael both gave him their best pleading eyes. “Fine. I’ll do it, but only if you have to suffer with me.” He picked three more locusts off the trees, shielding them with his hands so they wouldn’t jump out. “I’ll take half your price- a quarter-shekel total- if each of you eat one too.”

                “It’s a deal!” They both said at once.

                Ruth took the locust from Philip’s hand and held it like it would bite her. It’s for solidarity, she scrunched up her nose. This locust seemed abnormally big. It also seemed like it wanted to destroy her bloodline. “Alright,” Philip grinned as he held two in his hands, “on my count. One… two… three…go!”

                She tipped her head back and shoved the locust in. I’m sorry. I’ll make sure to tell your locust-family that you died bravely. It was vaguely crunchy. She swallowed it quickly and then took a flask to get the taste off her tongue. “Philip,” Her tongue itched as she asked, “How are you holding up?” It took everything in her not to gag.

                “I have no idea why John would even touch these,” He took another flask from their cart and gulped it. “That brought me so near death I think I saw Moses,”

                “I still think it’s squirming in my throat, crying out for a peaceful end.”

                Nathanael rolled his eyes, “You guys and your melodramatics.”

                “Well, what did you think of it?”

                “Honestly, not that bad. Pleasantly crunchy. Would go well with some pistachios,”

                “No way! You’re crazy,” Philip’s jaw dropped. “You actually liked that?”

                Nathanael shrugged, “I tolerated it. I just didn’t think about the fact that I was eating a bug, and I was fine.”

                “Yeah, no, you’re insane.” Ruth shook her head.

                “Sure, you close-minded people. Too bad you’ll never have what I have,” He picked off another locust from a bush and popped it in his mouth. “Free snacks!”

                “You have fun with that,” She cringed.

                “I will,” He picked another locust off a bush and held it up to his mouth as if to eat it. But once Philip turned around and started talking to Thomas, he cupped it in his hands.

                “What are you-“

                “Shh,” Nathanael crept up to Philip and dropped it in his back. Philip squirmed, trying to get the bug out.

                “Hey!” Philip laughed; the bug gone and probably traumatized for life. “What was that all about?”

                “I just wanted you to feel the wrath of the locust,” He grinned.

                “Oh, I’ll get you-“

                “Boys!” Simon called, his face stern. His solemn look reminded Ruth of what she was so eager to forget- technically, it was still shiva. She thought she had gotten away with it, when he added, “and Ruth.” Oh, come on!

                At some point along the trip, Thomas and Ramah went up to Jesus and asked Him things. I have no idea why they have to do it now, Ruth looked somewhat nervously at them. I may love a good laugh, but it’s still shiva! You’re really thinking about getting married at a time like this?

                Jesus turned to them suddenly, “I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Zee looked overly excited at this prospect. “Not that kind of sword, Zee. But what I do here will divide household against household, brother against brother. Families will be separated.” Well, that’s for sure. “I do not want this, but it is the consequence of the message I bring. And… anyone who loves father or mother more than Me, they are not worthy of Me.” He gained a smile and said to Ramah, “that being said, I will be your witness. Let’s talk about the details after this trip. So, Thomas, what do you plan on getting Ramah for her gift?”

                “Oh-“ Thomas stuttered, “Well, Ramah and I agreed that a gift wasn't necessary-“ You’ve got to be kidding me. Rule #2: if your fiancée says she doesn’t want a gift, do not under any circumstances believe her!

                “Rabbi,” Simon interrupted and half-dragged Thomas away, “Let me counsel him.”

                Jesus chuckled, “Set him straight, Simon.”

----------------------------------------------------------

                “I feared this would happen,” Zee muttered as they passed by the sign. The letters were Latin, so Ruth couldn’t read a thing. But she was a smart girl, so she knew that the sign probably said ‘Caesarea Philippi’.

                The massive temples built into Mount Hernon came into view. Goats were walked into them, never to come out. Deep red and white jumped at her from the temples. It was the exact swirl of people Ruth would’ve loved normally. However, this scene just gave her a sense of unease. Matthew squinted and asked Little James, “What are they going to do with the goats? Use them for sacrifices?”

                Little James shuddered, “Something much worse.”

                “What do they do? Nobody tells me anything,” Ruth jumped in. Little James didn’t answer her.

                They passed by the sign. To her surprise, Jesus walked right up between two of the temples and turned around. He handed His walking stick to Judas. “Come, come.” He motioned the disciples closer to Him. I don’t get it. You’re acting like nothing’s wrong with this place, and it’s just one of Your normal lessons. Obviously, something’s wrong with this place, though no one will tell me what.

                 “Respectfully, Rabbi,” Andrew spoke up, “Why did You bring us here? This place…” He looked at the scene around them, “it’s an abomination."

                “Rabbi…” Philip squinted, “This place, during shiva?” He’s got a point. When I heard we were going on a road trip to Caesarea Philippi, I didn’t expect it to look like… this.

                 Jesus began in a strong voice, “Should we avoid dark places out of fear? Or should we be light to them?” That’s a good question. “Do you think My cousin would be afraid of this cave- that he’d find what they do in these temples so appalling he wouldn’t dare to go near?” He paused for a long time, looking at Matthew meaningfully. Matthew got the hint and pulled out his stylus and tablet. “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” Well, I say it’s You.

                “Uh,” John ran to fill the awkward silence, “Some say You’re Elijah, the one who preaches repentance.” Oh, was ‘Jesus’ not the answer to that question? Okay, think of a different one, uh…

                “Others say Jeremiah, because he was rejected by the leaders of his time.” Andrew offered. But Jesus isn’t any of those people. He’s Jesus! He’s not a prophet from way back in the Tanakh, He’s Jesus! This question doesn’t make any sense.

                Big James added, “And still others say one of the prophets, those that spoke on God’s behalf.”

                The group went silent for a long time. Simon finally said, “What are we going to do, cast lots? Nathanael, do your thing.”

                Nathanael turned to Jesus, “Some say You’re… John the Baptist.” He added quietly, “Obviously, that isn’t true.”

                Jesus shrugged, “Okay, that’s everyone else. But what about you? Who do you say that I am?” Who do I- what? Hold on, let me think about this.

                “You?” Hold on, I wasn’t done thinking yet! Simon began, and said like there was no other physical possibility, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God! These statues of Baal and Pan that we passed- they are dead and decaying, but we worship a living God! And You… You are His Son.” Yeah, what he said!  

                Jesus paused, blinking back tears. He stepped forward and placed His hand on Simon’s shoulder. “Blessed are you, Simon, son of Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father in Heaven.” Woah. Ruth grinned, something cool’s about to happen, isn’t it? “All your life you’ve been called Simon, ‘one who hears’. But now I call you Peter, rock.” He stepped back and addressed them, “And it is on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hell will not prevail against it!”

                He turned and looked at the mountain, seeming to yell at it. As He grew in volume, a small crowd grew behind the disciples. Jesus proclaimed, “This is a place of death, but I brought you here to tell you that death has no power over My redeemed people! Because I live, you also will live. I will give you the keys to the kingdom of Heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in Heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in Heaven!” Wow, that sounds amazing! But Rabbi, what in Adonai’s earth does any of that mean?

                “You have the power to declare the truth to others that I am declaring to you,” He continued, “that the repentant have a place in the kingdom of Heaven!” He grew quiet, “You have confessed that I am the Christ, and you will convince many others to make the same confession in time.” I… can do that? I told Your story to the tent city, but that was just a story. You’re saying I’ll convince people to believe that You’re the Messiah? …Wow. “But I will explain more later.” Noooooooo it was just getting really interesting! “For now, you all must keep this quiet.” Aw, man. Oh, wait a minute.

                “Rabbi,” John squinted, “Some already know that You’re the Messiah.” And I might’ve told some people. Oops. “Why keep it quiet now?”

                “In some places, for some people, it was important that they know and believe. But for now, if all our people know that the Messiah has come, they will rise up preparing to join a military figure in war against Rome. I want people to follow Me based on My true identity, like Peter here,” Okay, I thought Simon’s- Peter’s new name wasn’t going to sound really weird, but it sounds really weird. “Not based on their misinterpretation of My purpose in coming.”

                Judas asked, “Teacher, Your people are ready to fight with You. Why bring us to this place of death if not to defeat it?”

                “That will come in time. I brought you here to honor John by showing you what he was here to do. He was preparing the way for this: for Me to build My church, a church that will never be stopped, even in a place like this.” He looked at the mountainside, seeming like He saw all of history in that moment. “John was fearless and obedient in all things, as you must be. Even at the gates of Hell. Are you ready to follow in his footsteps and Mine, even if it leads you to a place like this?”  

                Woah, okay. Ruth ran to catch up to the group as they walked away. That got very serious very quickly. She glanced at Simon- no, Peter- as he stared at the place where Jesus had been. I have a sinking feeling that most of us will be lead to ‘a place like this’.

---------------------------------------------------

                 “So, Simon- uh, Peter,” Ruth sat at the fire that night, “tomorrow, can I buy seventeen pomegranates?”

                Simon- sorry, Peter- almost spat his drink. “Seventeen?”

                “Yeah! Because there’s me, Mary,” she counted the number with her hand, “Jesus, Tamar, Ramah, John, you, Andrew, Judas, Little James-“

                “I believe you, you don’t have to count.” He held his hands up. “First of all, we do not have enough money for seventeen pomegranates. Second of all, that’s a Judas question.”

                “First of all, right before we left, my abba gave me a boatload of money and told me to do what I wanted with it. I tried refusing it, trust me, but he threatened to disinherit me. I told him his threats need work. Anyway, so we do have the money.”

                “And second of all?”

                “Second of all, Judas said no.”

                “And you think I’m going to say yes?”

                “Well, yeah. You did say no to the figs, but that was the group’s money and also you were mad at me. Also, these are not figs. These are pomegranates.”

                He shrugged, “Normally I’d say yes- it’s your money, after all. But Judas takes care of the purse now, not me.”

                “Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggghhhhhh.” She grumbled, leaning back on the log so that her head touched the ground.

                “I don’t know what to tell you,” He held in a laugh.

                Tamar walked by, “Oh, Ruth’s dead.” She remarked jokingly. “That’s unfortunate.”

                Ruth looked at her upside-down, “I was killed by a severe lack of pomegranates. So basically, it’s Simon Peter’s fault.”

                “It is not my fault!” Simon Peter retorted. “And my name’s just Peter.”

                “Well, it’s going to take a while for me to remember that. So, for now, you’re Simon Peter. It’s better than going ‘Simon- oh, sorry- Peter’ like everyone else does.” She shrugged, “It’s just for now. I’ll get used to it.”  

                Everyone joined the campfire. Simon Peter went off to get wood and came back eventually. “Apple?” Thomas offered.  

                “Sure,” Peter caught it and took a bite. He walked away.

                “You know there’s plenty if you want…” Thomas trailed off.

                Ramah shoved him gently, “If he wanted more, he would’ve asked.”

                “You can say that again,” Andrew said enthusiastically, “I’ll take three.”

                Ruth glanced over at Simon Peter. So, is he our… leader or something, now? Besides Jesus, of course. Nathanael interrupted the silence, “Is Simon- sorry, Peter-“ I totally called it. Just call him Simon Peter! “Really the best disciple?”

                Little James asked, “Did Jesus say ‘best’?”

                Matthew said seriously, “I wrote it down. The word ‘best’ was not used.”

                “Does it matter?” Mary shrugged.

                “Look,” Nathanael leaned forward, “I haven’t been here as long as most of you, but it does kind of seem like Peter is the best.” Andrew grinned, obviously pleased by this. Ruth glanced over at the Sons of Thunder- obviously, they were not pleased. Nathanael caught their deadly glares, “One of the top… three or four.”

                “Who are the other three?” John asked.

                Ruth muttered, “Probably doesn’t include you.” I honestly don’t think Simon Peter’s leadership- or even best-ness- is that bad. It doesn’t change anything about my life, I still have to listen to him. I just think it's cool. However, John hates it. Therefore, my only option is to tease him relentlessly.  

                “Oh, come on!”

                Judas tilted his head, “By what measurements are we determining this ranking?”

                Big James leaned forward, “Who said anything about ranking? What is this, the military?”

                “The opposite, I believe.” Mary smiled.

                “I don’t know,” Andrew shrugged, enjoying himself, “it is clear he’s meant to be a leader.”

                Thomas but in, “Does that mean the rest of us have to be less important?”

                “No one asked my opinion,” Little James held up his hands, “but I think we all need some rest.”

                 John crossed his arms and pouted, “I’m not going to get any sleep tonight.”

                “Great!” Andrew continued with his sarcasm, “You can take the third watch! See, I myself was going to take the third watch, but if you can’t sleep, then…”

                “No, that’s not what I meant! It was metaphoric!”

                “Metaphorical,” Ruth corrected with a small grin.

                “You are not helping!”

Chapter Text

               “Behold,” John revealed a basket when they finally arrived home, “My eema’s famous cinnamon cakes!”

                “Ooo, I’ll take one,” Ruth stuffed a cinnamon cake into her mouth.

                “It’s for bartering!” John protested.

                “Bartering for what?” Ramah poked her head out from the door.

                “Uhhhh, Big James needs new sandals.” John nodded semi-confidently. Ruth glanced at Big James’s feet. About a year ago, he had gotten new sandals. And of course, he wouldn’t buy new ones on a whim. Something else is going on, she grinned.

                “I do?” Big James asked.

                “…Yes! And we’re taking Thomas with us to help.”

                “Here, I’ll compensate you.” Ruth put a coin in the basket where the cake had been. “On second thought, take two more,” she took another out and dropped two more coins.

                “Can I get one?” Andrew popped his head out from behind her.

                “Obviously,” she dropped two more coins in the basket and gave a cinnamon cake to Andrew.

                “They’re for bartering!” John yanked the basket away. “Stop that!”

                “But I’m paying you!”

                “Yes, and others will pay a lot more. Have you never bartered?” Ruth stared blankly at him. “Don’t answer that.” He glanced at Ramah and whispered, “Want to come with us?”

                “For what?”

                “Partly as punishment because you keep stealing these cakes. And partly to help us.”

                “Help you with what?”

                John grumbled and glanced at Ramah again, “I’ll tell you later.”

                Suddenly, Simon Peter came out from nowhere. He walked toward Matthew with purpose, embracing him. “You are forgiven.” He whispered. “All is forgotten. You are my brother- to the ends of the earth, right?” Matthew nodded through tears. Just like that, the moment was over. YEAHHHH!!!! You go, Simon Peter!

                John gave her a side-eye, “Do you know what just happened?”

                “You have eyes,” Ruth shrugged with a large grin, “Matthew’s forgiven. He is our brother to the ends of the earth.”

                “Oh.” He squinted, “Okay. Well, that’s good.”

                “It’s more than good. It’s fantastic.”

                “Well, now that that’s done… want to get going?”

                “Oh, hold on!” She walked over to Matthew and greeted him, “I’m happy for you.”

                Matthew wiped tears, “I… I am too. I know I’ve been forgiven by Jesus, but it is good to know that my brothers forgive me as well.” He looked at Simon Peter as he walked away to do other tasks.

                “I can relate,” She grinned. “You’ve come a long way, Matthew.”

                He tilted his head and looked a long time at her, “So have you.”

                 “Ruuuuuuuuth! Come on!” John called.

                Ruth rolled her eyes, “I’m trying to be supportive.”

                “Supportive time’s up! Let’s go!”

                “Alright, fine, fine.” She looked over at Matthew, “Shalom shalom. Doesn’t forgiveness feel great?”

                He grinned, “I’ve never felt a sweeter thing.”

                “We’re leaving without you!” John’s call bothered her again.

                 Ramah chuckled and joked to Ruth, “Watch over Thomas for me. I think the Sons of Thunder might get him into trouble.”

                “No, we won’t!”

                “Yes, you will!” She laughed.

                Ruth grinned and pat her on the back, “I’ll make sure he isn’t accosted by the deadly cinnamon-cake-robbers.” She walked away with John, Thomas, and Big James. When she was out of Ramah’s earshot, she asked, “We’re buying a present for Ramah, aren’t we?”

                “Nooooo,” John whistled very non-innocently.

                Thomas rolled his eyes, “Yes. I already have an idea of what to get her.”

                “Ooooo, do tell.” She grinned as they walked along.

                “I’ll get her a sundial, to keep time in our new home. Whenever I’m with her, I always lose track. I might as well remedy that.”

                “Aww, that’s so cute.” She pulled coins out of her bag, “You know, I’ve got a lot of money. You can just buy a sundial instead of going through all the bartering.”

                “No, I want to work for it.” He shook his head.

                “Suit yourself.”

                The first place they walked was the fish-seller. The stall smelled so much of fish that Ruth covered her nose with her dress. These fish certainly didn’t look as good as Simon Peter and Andrew’s used to be. John traded words with him quickly, and sadly all the cinnamon cakes disappeared, and they had gotten ten stinky fish in its place.

                “Bleugh,” Ruth wrinkled her nose.

                Big James explained, “The metalworker loves these fish. She’ll give one of her best lanterns for these. And then I think we’ll go to the carpenter, get a bookshelf, and work our way up to the sundial.”

                “Hm, sounds like a good plan.”

                At the metalworker, she heard bustle near the tent city. She walked over to see Romans kicking people out again! No way. The Romans dismantled tents, and people walked out of the city by the droves. The whole thing made her blood boil. I am not going to get arrested again. I learned my lesson. However, you all need to go to Hade- a small poke which hadn’t shown up in a while appeared on the back of her neck. Home! You all need to go home. Please go home. And don’t die. And don’t go to the deepest depths of Sheol, where you BELONG- okay, okay, I’m done. I’m done now.

                She walked up to a Roman and composed herself, “Sir,” the word tasted bitter on her tongue, “what are you doing in this tent city?”

                “Business.” The Roman answered gruffly. She was expecting him to expound on the statement, but he said nothing and returned to his work.

                “Uhm,” She took a coin from her purse and toyed with it. The sunlight of the day glinted off the silver coin, and it caught the Roman’s eye. Huh. I wonder if catching fish would be this easy. “What kind of business?”

                “You know, you could be arrested for bribing a Roman officer.”

                “Interesting.” Another coin flitted through her fingers with the second one, “What kind of business?”

                “Hmm.” Finally, he took the two coins, “Quintus commanded that the tent city be reduced by ten cubits a day.”

                “Ten cubits a day?!” She exploded. “You-“ Woman, breathe. “That’s… interesting.”

                She stomped off into the city, losing John, James, and Thomas. I know where they’re going, anyway. Abigail rushed to her, crying tears like raindrops. “They’re…” she said through hiccups, “They’re making all my friends leave!”

                “I know,” Ruth hugged the girl to her, “It’s horrible. Quintus is a horrible person.”

                “I don’t know who that is,” she wiped her tears, “but he sounds bad.” She looked at the wreckage around her. About five families in tents had to leave because of the ten-cubit shrinkage. And tomorrow, five more families would leave. It frustrated Ruth to no end. Abigail asked, “What can we do?”

                “I… don’t know.” Ruth whispered. Genuinely, what could they do? Once again, she was helpless. Nothing she could do would stop what was happening right now. But… she could give the people of the tent city some hope. “I know what I’ll do.” And it won’t get me arrested! Hooray!

                “What?” Abigail asked. Ruth gently disentangled herself and ran off. “What?!” She called after her.

                Ruth ran to where she knew John, James, and Thomas were headed. She panted, having run a long way. “Do… sorry, hold on… do any of you know where Jesus is?”

                Thomas turned to her, sundial in hand, “Where were you?”

                “Tent…city. Nice sundial.”

                “Thanks. Why the tent city?”

                “Bad things are happening there. I need to see Jesus about it.”

                “He’s…” Big James shrugged, “well, I don’t know. Somewhere in the wilderness, I guess.”

                “Okay, thanks, bye!”

                “Wait, aren’t you going back to Matthew’s house with us?”

                “Nope!” She ran without direction into the fields beyond. “See you later!”  It only took her two minutes to realize she was completely lost. Shrubbery and trees surrounded her, with a few clearings as oases along her way. However, all the clearings looked exactly the same. And none of them had Jesus in His camp.

                When she was sure that she’d have to live in the woods off locusts and berries, a Man popped into view. “Ah, Ruth!” He smiled, “You look somewhat lost.”

                “I am,” she admitted, “I was trying to look for You.”

                “Well, you have succeeded in finding Me.” He held out His hands in greeting, “What’s going on?”

                “Bad things. The Romans are wrecking the tent city- again! But this time, they mean it. Quintus commanded that it gets shrunk ten cubits a day.”  She sighed, “All these people are being forced to leave, and, well, I wanted to ask if You could do something.”

                “Hmm?” He tilted His head, like He didn’t know her every thought past and future. “What did you have in mind?”

                “Well, I’d suggest…” she was careful to put her words together like a puzzle. She made sure that she didn’t sound like she was telling the Messiah what to do.

                “But I know that,” He finished her thought for her, “because I am the Messiah. Come on, give it to Me.”

                “I was kind of hoping You’d choose now to take over Rome, kick every single one of them out, and make the tent city part of Capernaum.” She chuckled, “but I think I’ve seen enough to know that that probably isn’t going to happen.”

                “You are correct. So…” He motioned for her to continue.

                “Can You please just talk to them? That’s the whole reason they’re here- to hear more from You. I think if they heard You talk, just once… they’d go home happy. It’d be better for them to leave with that than leave with nothing.” She bit her lip, “I wish I had more time with them. Maybe I could convince them of You, like You said the other day.”

                “That will come later. And you will have more time with those people.”

                “When?”

                He gave a small smile, “You know what I’m going to say.”

                “Not soon,” she groaned, “Soon always seems too far away for me.”

                “And yet it’s close enough,” He reached for a leaf on a tall tree. Even on His toes, He couldn’t reach it. “Like these leaves. Out of reach, but you know they’re coming.”

                “Hmm.” She said, because she had nothing agreeable to say.

                “Also, I was thinking about speaking to those people,” He led her out of the forest, “I’ve been planning something. A sermon. Not as big as the last one, of course, but a special one all the same.”

                “Well, all Your sermons are special.” She glanced at scenery as they came into the light of Capernaum. From this forest, all the people blended together in a dancing mass of a city. She chuckled, “I bet this one will make people really mad.”

                “I bet so,” He contemplated quietly. “I bet so, too.”

--------------------------------------------

                “This day has finally come!” Ruth squealed as they walked toward the tent city, “It’s been weeks and weeks in the making.”

                “It’s been about two days since Jesus told us He was going to give a sermon,” Matthew said with a frown.

                “It feels like it’s been weeks and weeks,” she corrected.

                “I have to agree with Ruth on this one,” Ramah smiled, “Hearing Jesus speak is always a treat I look forward too.”

                “I know, right! Also,” she turned around so she could face Ramah, “How was the sundiiiiial?” she asked in playful sing-song.

                She blushed, “Very beautiful. And how did you know? Did you help pick it out?” 

                “’Course not, Thomas was the main idea guy. I just helped in the bartering for it.”

                John called, “You didn’t help barter for it! You barely left enough wares for us to make use of!”

                “Same difference,” she shrugged.

                Shula and Barnaby stopped their path. Jesus called jovially, “You look surprised to see me!” He turned to the disciples and whispered, “that one never gets old.”

                Shula chuckled, then turned serious quickly. “No, no, it’s just that- we heard there’s been an edict. From Jerusalem.”

                “Well, that’s where they usually come from.”

                “About You. If anyone catches You in blasphemy, they are to turn You in to the Sanhedrin.” The Sanhedrin? Wow, I guess they’re really mad. But… blasphemy? Jesus can’t blaspheme against Himself. The Son of God can’t blaspheme against God. So, we’re good. Right? “There’s more. Rabbi Akiva said that anyone who professes You as the Christ is to be put out of the synagogue.” What?! Oh, that’s really bad.

                “Who did you hear that from?” Simon Peter asked somewhat nervously, “Has it been enforced?”

                Jesus held up a hand, “It doesn’t matter.” He turned to Shula, “I will be direct with the Pharisees today. They’ve gone too far.” Yes! I love direct-ness! He caught sight of a blind man behind them, “Who is this man? How long has he been here?”

                Shula turned and explained, “That’s Uzziah. We’ve been friends since my malady started, but… he’s been blind since birth.”

                “Hmm.” He gained a grin, “Big James,”

                “Yes, Rabbi?” Big James stepped forward.

                “Draw up some water from the well.” Big James nodded and went to the well. Something fun is about to happen! Yesss! He turned to Shula, “Would you introduce Me to your friend?”

                “Rabbi… You… I don’t think You should-“ Shula said nervously.

                “Why not?”

                She whispered, “It’s Shabbat!”

                “Well, that’ll make this more fun.”

                The group walked over. Shula said to Uzziah, “This is Jesus, the Teacher.”

                Barnaby added excitedly, “The One who healed Shula and me!”

                “I think he knows.” Jesus chuckled. “He’s blind, not deaf.” He knelt to Uzziah’s eye level, “Shabbat shalom, Uzziah.”

                “Shabbat shalom,” He answered.

                 A man with a familiar voice came up behind them and asked, “Rabbi, answer me this.” Abba???? Ruth shot him a quick confused glance. “Who sinned- this man, or this man’s parents, that he was born blind?” Is this man ever going to learn that not every single ailment is the result of sin?

                Jesus answered, “Shalom, Barnabas.”

                “Shalom.”

                “This is not because he or his parents sinned. Rather, it is so that the glory of God may be revealed in him.” I wonder if the glory of God would ever be revealed in me. Is that why He’s waited so long to heal me? Maybe He wanted to do it in front of people, like He did the others. Of course, I have to ask Him first, and I really don’t want to do that.

                Jesus stood up and addressed His disciples, “Listen carefully.” Yeah! Abba, you are in for a treat. “We must do the works of Him who sent Me while it is day.” We’ve got to… what? “Night is coming when no one can work. And as long as I am in the world…” He turned around and knelt down again to Uzziah, “I am the light of the world.”

                “We cannot work at night?” Matthew asked as he wrote.

                “We have limited time on earth, Matthew. I have limited time.” There that is again! What does He mean? He turned to Barnabas, “Let’s not argue the sins of the past. We have light to give.” With that, He collected some of the dust near Uzziah’s feet and… spit in it? Well, that’s new. He spread the newly formed mud over Uzziah’s eyes. Big James carried the bucket to His feet. “I know it feels strange, but it will be worth it. You can wash over here.” Uzziah poured the water over his face, eyes closed. And when he opened his eyes… the world came into view.

                Yes! Ruth cheered inwardly. A crowd slowly began to gather around Jesus. She recognized many people from the tent city. They set their heavy bags down and came to listen.

                A heckler shouted, “The man who sat here and begged had blurry white eyes!”

                “Yeah, that’s cause he was blind!” Ruth heckled back.

                A Pharisee came forward out of the crowd. He grabbed Uzziah’s arm, “You! Come with me!”

                “Now?”

                “Yes. To the synagogue!”

                Uzziah laughed joyfully, “I can’t think of a better place!” As the Pharisee practically dragged him away, he turned to Jesus, “Thank You! Thank You!” He called to Shula and Barnaby, “Tell my parents what happened, and that I’m at the synagogue.”

                Barnaby answered, “Of course! Right away!” He turned to Shula, “Where do they live?”

                “How would I know?” Shula shrugged, “I was blind the whole time I knew him.”

                “Eh, we’ll ask around. Let’s go!”

                “Do another miracle!” One in the crowd shouted. Many followed, “Yes, do another!”

                “That’s…” Jesus shook His head, “not how this works. But I do have much to teach you. So, listen carefully. Everyone, come closer.” The whole crowd shuffled forward obediently. Before, Ruth had only recognized a few from the tent city. But apparently, the heckler wasn’t actually a heckler. He had gotten the entirety of the city to follow him and come see Jesus in the square. The crowd built up to quite a size.

                One woman called, “Blessed is the womb of the mother who bore you!” That’s kind of a weird thing to just say.

                “Blessed rather is the one who has the Word of God and keeps it. For whoever does the will of My Father in Heaven is My brother and sister and mother.”

                “Some of us weren’t here when You healed the blind man!” The not-heckler called. “Show us another sign!” Assent traveled through the crowd. Did He not just say that’s not how this works? Although… if He wanted a volunteer for healing, I’m right here.

                “I know you want more signs so you can know for sure, and I have done them. But it is an evil generation that seeks a sign.” Ooookay, then. So, not today. “And when all you seek are signs and wonders, no sign will be given to you except the sign of Jonah.” The what? “For as Jonah became a sign to the people of Nineveh, so will the Son of Man be to this generation.” Oh! Alright!

                Ruth realized that while Jesus talked, two Pharisees walked up behind Him. They looked like two roosters about to fight what they viewed as a fox. “Should we do something?” she whispered to Simon Peter.

                Peter shook his head, “Just let Him keep going.”

                Jesus continued, “The queen of the south will rise up with this generation and condemn them. For she came from the south to hear the wisdom of Solomon. And behold, something greater than Solomon is here.”  

                The more angry-looking Pharisee spat, “You would consider Yourself greater than Solomon?!” My man, you have no idea.

                The other Pharisee questioned, “What right would the Queen of Sheba have to judge us?” It’s a metaphor! Even I can recognize that it’s a metaphor. Do I know what it means? No!

                “Ah,” Jesus turned and addressed them, like He had just now noticed them, “Rabbi Akiva. Rabbi Josiah. You’re back. Do you wish to understand My teaching further?”

                “Perhaps,” Rabbi Akiva said every syllable like he spoke to a dog, “You heard our questions.”

                “Well, let Me make it more plain. The men of Nineveh will rise up at the judgement of this generation and condemn it,” He raised His voice, “for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and behold, something greater than Jonah is here.”

                “The men of Nineveh were evil,” Rabbi Josiah protested.

                “Yes, and even they were qualified to judge this generation because they repented when Jonah preached!” Philip responded. Do these men just not get the concept??

                “Is anyone writing this down?” Rabbi Akiva asked accusingly. Matthew raised his hand, which John thankfully lowered for him. “It must be recorded word for word, so it can be read in the Sanhedrin and expose the contemptible insolence even his followers espouse!” What do any of those words mean? Can you speak in plain Hebrew, please?

                “You’ve interrupted Him enough; we want to hear more!” The former heckler called. The crowd agreed with him.

                “Oh, I see. This heretic’s insolence is infectious among Capernaum’s uneducated class!” Excuse me?! He turned to Jesus, “We just heard from a man who told us You healed him! Today!” He paused, waiting for a reaction, “On Shabbat! We heard You put mud on his eyes.”

                Jesus motioned for them to hurry, “Is there a question coming, or…”

                “Where did You get mud, knowing You’re not supposed to make healing concoctions on Shabbat?!”

                “Seriously?” Ruth whispered, “That’s their problem with the whole thing? That’s stupid.”

                Andrew chuckled, “Don’t let them hear you say that.”

                “It was easy.” Jesus shrugged, “I just spit on the dirt.”

                “You put filth on his face?!” Rabbi Akiva continued. It reminded Ruth of one of those annoying birds that wouldn’t stop chirping while she was trying to draw.

                “Cleanliness.” He was unimpressed, “That’s what you’re focused on?” That’s what I said! You get ‘em, Rabbi.

                “You claim to be a Rabbi, the Son of God, and yet You don’t honor purity laws even on the most holy day of the week?!” You should’ve seen what we did on that Shabbat when we were starving. I bet you would’ve liked that.

                “You Pharisees… you clean the outside of a cup and dish, and then you eat and drink food that goes into a body full of greed and wickedness!” The crowd murmured, mulling over what this meant. It was the equivalent statement of Jesus turning over every table with all the scrolls of what they had ever known. “You fools! Did not the same Who made the outside make the inside also? But give as alms that within, and behold, everything is clean for you.”

                Okay, I love You dearly, Rabbi, Ruth grappled with the ground as she was pushed from behind by an agitated crowd, but can You slow down just a little bit? She held on to Mary and Tamar, making sure she wouldn’t lose them.

                “Are You saying giving alms is more important than being ritually clean?!” Rabbi Akiva asked. …No? Have you been listening at all to what He’s saying?

                “I’m saying,” Jesus countered, “That your obsession with what is clean and unclean goes farther than what God intended and does no good for anyone but yourself!”

                “We tithe to the poor, down to their smallest plant we care for them!”

                “And to that I say woe to you, Pharisees! You tithe the mint and dill and cumin, measuring out each last speck, but you completely ignore the heart of the law- justice and mercy and faithfulness! You blind guides, straining out a gnat while swallowing a camel.” Sounds painful. “Look at these people!” He gestured to the crowd, “What have you done to help them?!”

                “We have taught them to obey God’s perfect law, while You defy it and encourage others to do the same!” Rabbi Akiva shouted to the crowd, “All of you! This Man is dangerous and He’s leading you astray!”

                “His words bring hope and healing!” Tamar shouted.

                “His words are heretical and rude!”

                Jesus continued His rant, “Then I say woe to you, Pharisees, for you value the best seats in the synagogue and the honorable greetings in the marketplaces.”

                “Take it back. Right now. Recant Your insulting words!” The crowd stirred to a boiling point along with the argument. You really think He’s going to do that? Not a chance!

                “Oh, I am just getting started.”

                Back in the crowd, a woman fell. People stepped on her while trying to avoid stepping on her. “People are getting trampled,” John began to try and calm the crowd. He motioned the others to do the same.

                “Calm down,” Ruth pressed back a man as he stepped on her foot. “Ow! That’s not very calm of you!”  The crowd shouted, and suddenly Ruth couldn’t hear her own thoughts over the din. “I said,” she shouted louder, “Calm down!”

                “You have to go,” Andrew said, “It’s getting out of control.”

                “I’m not going anywhere!” She said as she hip-checked someone who tried to knock her down. “Sorry!” She covered her mouth as the man fell.

                “It’s not safe here!”

                “Really, you’re going to choose now to try and tell me what to do?” Before Andrew could respond, Thomas tapped him on the shoulder and both of them ran off. She turned to the man, “Really, I’m sorry for the hip-checking thing.” More people took his place and shoved forward against her short frame. “Oh, come on!”

                Romans pushed toward Jesus, stirring up the crowd even more. “Great!” Ruth threw up her hands, “Just fantastic!”

                Big James grabbed her left hand, “Ruth, we’ve got to go! Follow me to the alley!”

                “I’m not leaving!” She wrenched her hand away. “Where’s Mary?” Through all the hip-checking, she realized she had completely lost her friend. “I’ve got to find Mary!”

                “We don’t have time for that! Come on!” Before he could say anything else, Ruth rushed into the crowd.

                “Mary!” She yelled, reaching out above the crowds. Heads towered over her, and she couldn’t see. Effectively, she was trapped. “Mary!”

                “Ruth, I’m over here!” She heard Mary’s voice but couldn’t tell where it came from. “I’m over here!”

                “Yeah, I don’t know where ‘here’ is!”  

                “Ruth!” A familiar voice came from behind her. “We’ve got to find Ramah and Tamar,” Mary gripped Ruth’s sleeve so they wouldn’t get dragged away from each other again. “Then we can leave by that way.” She pointed to the alley where everyone was leaving from.

                “Tamar already got out! I don’t know where Ramah is, though!” Ruth shouted over the din. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flash of silver and red. Of course, these stupid Romans have to interfere with our fun. She rolled her eyes, brushing the interaction off. Oh, another bald guy. Are all Romans legally mandated to be bald? But for some reason, her heart pounded at seeing this Roman. Something told her that from that moment, nothing would ever be the same.

                Thaddeus came up to them, “Mary, Ruth, we’ve got to go!”

                “What about Ramah?!”

                The Roman came up from behind and grabbed Thaddeus by the shirt collar. “You,” He said, malice dripping from his voice, “Where did Jesus of Nazareth go?” Someone knocked him over from behind, and he went down still yelling, “Where is He?” He pulled out his sword, and that made everyone clear quickly. Thomas and Ramah ran by him, within reach of the sword.

                Before this moment Ruth had never considered what gleaming metal could do

                                When it collided with

                                                When . . . it . . . collided . . . with 

                                                                                No.

                No no no no no no no no no not her no  

    The     no     world       NO please   stopped     someone   stop him    

                The  worl d  sto p  s  

                Ramah lays on the sand, a spot of red growing on her middle. Thomas sobs over her, begging her to stay- stay in the world where she belongs, where she can’t leave! Because it’s not her time, it doesn’t have to be her time! She needs to get old and wrinkly and be old and wrinkly with Thomas. She needs to finish teaching Ruth how to cook.

                Please stay.

                Mary screams, something Ruth has never heard her do. It’s a sound that rips the seas apart. Ruth could be screaming too. She’ll never know. Her ears are ringing too much for anything but a muffled din to get through.

                Why can’t the ringing in her ears stop?

                Mary stoops down to hold Ramah’s head, calling for help. But Ruth… can’t. move. Thaddeus tries to grip her shoulder but it doesn’t matter because everything is wrong and nothing is right and the sun will never show its light again because Ramah is dying dying dying dying dying dying dying dying dying dying

                But she can’t be dying! Jesus can heal even the worst wounds, right? Mary just needs to keep holding her head, and Thomas just needs to keep crying until Jesus comes and heals Ramah. And then everything will be as it was. And then everything will be as it was. And then everything will

                She stops blinking

                                ---

                ---

                                She stops breathing

                ---

                                ---                         

                And it’s strange because  

                Ruth had never seen someone die before.

Chapter Text

                “Let’s pause, let’s pause.” John held up his hands and looked up from his writing. “Are you okay to keep going?”

                “Yeah.” She furtively wiped her eyes. “I am. But do I… have to talk about this part?”

                “I want to include everything.”

                “I know, but…” she looked around the dark room, and at the man who had lost a brother. For him, she’d delve into the time she lost a sister. “I’m just not good at talking about it.”

                “Just… try? Please?”

                “Fine,” she crossed her arms, “but if you make me cry, then I’ll tell Mary, and she’ll probably give you a very stern talking to.”

                “That sounds like a fair deal.”

-----------------------------------

                “She needs to be covered,” were the first words Ruth whispered, “so we can carry her. It isn’t right that she’s like this.” Mary nodded through her tears.

                “I wonder if anyone has any… sheets?” she looked around the crowd. The Roman killer got arrested by another Roman, his hands bound behind his back. Good. I hope they kill him.

                “Here.” Ruth shrugged her veil off without a second thought. The piece of fabric, when it was unfolded, was almost long enough to cover Ramah completely. But the piece of purple fabric suddenly didn’t make her Ramah anymore. It just made her…a form. When Ruth looked up, she realized everyone was staring at her or trying not to stare at her. “Oh, Adonai.”

                Her abba found this the perfect time to come out of the woodwork. Oh, fantastic. Please do not tell me how improper this is, when my friend still lies warm on the sand. He spoke no rebuke, but his face said it all. Wordlessly, he handed her a white sheet and motioned to Ramah. Ruth shook her head and put the sheet over her own hair.

                “Her… her legs still need to be covered,” Mary observed. She went to John and quietly asked for his knife. With that, she cut the sheet in half, took her own veil off and replaced it. Ramah was now nothing but a body covered by purple and pink veils. She was nothing but a stiff model covered by how much her friends loved her.

                “What do we do with her now?” Ruth turned to Mary, like she’d have all the answers. “She needs to go home- to Tel Dor. How will we get her home?”

                “I…” she looked at Ramah, “I don’t know.”

                Peter came and knelt down next to where they sat on the dirt, “Neither of you need to worry about any of that. She’ll be taken care of. For now, we should leave.”

                “What about Thomas?” Ruth whispered.

                “John will make sure he comes with us.”

                “Where are we going?”

                “Anywhere that’s not here.”

                With some coercion, both women stood up. They walked slowly toward Tamar and embraced her and cried. Ruth wanted to hang onto both of them forever, just to be sure she couldn’t lose any more of her friends. But that couldn’t be. Eventually, she had to let them go. Their whole miserable party walked out of Capernaum, to a clearing near some trees.

                Thomas paced around, inconsolable. Ruth was struck by a heavy pang in her heart when she saw him. ‘Keep him safe,’ Ramah said. I know she was joking, but I did promise. I promised to keep Thomas safe. So, I’ll look out for him.

                Mary looked at the gray clouds in the distance. At the same time, she looked at nothing at all. “I wonder…” she began, and a sob in her throat stopped her. “What if we had held on?”

                “Don’t,” Tamar begged.

                “I… I was holding her hand. And then I lost her.”

                “She was murdered, Mary. Nothing could’ve stopped the evil in his heart.”  A good punch to the back of the head could’ve stopped him. Ruth seriously considered marching back into Capernaum and killing that Roman herself. It’s not fair! Why do the bad people live, and the good people die?! All that Roman will get is a slap on the wrist. And Ramah got… her life taken away.

                “Could… He have stopped it?”

                “I don’t know.”

                “I just wish…” she trailed off.

                The feelings in Ruth’s heart exploded. She got up from the bench and spat, “Don’t blame Jesus for this! He didn’t do anything wrong! It’s that stupid Roman, and he made everything horrible! And it’s no use wishing that it’s otherwise, because it is! Nothing is fair!” She stomped away to the tree in the middle of the clearing. Its branches seemed low enough to climb, even with one working hand. So, with one hand she climbed up into the boughs and wished the world would disappear.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

                Technically, shiva hadn’t even started yet, since Ramah hadn’t been buried. Am I allowed to be sad while it’s not shiva? She pondered as she walked as far away from Ramah’s body as possible. It was weird- the group was all walking together, and yet they weren’t all walking together. One of them wasn’t there anymore, but all of them were physically there.

                It feels like all of my intestines are in a knot, Ruth glared at the itchy dirt beneath her feet and the sun that wouldn’t stop glaring at her. Today, everything angered her. Even the back of Mary’s head angered her, with that white sheet that mimicked her own. Mary deserves more than a stupid white sheet. She deserves more than a friend who yells at her. She deserves more than another friend who’s dead! With each thought, she trailed more behind the group.  

                Andrew fell into step beside her, his steps brisk, so she had to quicken her pace. He said nothing for at least a mile. Then, when Ruth thought she was in the clear, he said, “Ruth, how are you? You’ve barely said a word for three days.”

                “’Cause I don’t want to,” she replied simply. Don’t annoy me, Andrew!

                “Okay,” He squinted, expecting more words to come out of her mouth very soon.

                She sighed, “Can we please just walk?”

                “I thought that was what we were doing.”

                “Yeah, except you keep waiting for me to say something. But I’m not going to. Because I don’t want to.”

                “Okay, then. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”

                “First of all, you don’t have to worry about me. Second of all, I thought we agreed to just walk.”

                “Yeah, we’re just walking.” He fiddled with his bag and looked at the scenery, “Juuuust walking.”

                After a couple seconds of silence, she retorted, “This tactic isn’t going to work, you know. Because I won’t try to fill the awkward silence you’re trying to create, because I don’t want to talk. I just want to be quietly angry at the world.”

                “I wasn’t doing anything.”

                “Sure. You and your mind games.” She scoffed. While trying to look away from Andrew, her eyes fell on Ramah. Well, it wasn’t really Ramah, it was just purple and pink veils. Not Ramah, anymore. “And you know what?” She wheeled on Andrew, “I’m not even mad at you. You’re a great person. I’m sorry for being snippy with you,” she said, in a snippy tone, “I’m just mad at the world in general!”

                “You mad at Jesus?”

                “Not Him, weirdly enough. If I wasn’t with Him, I’d probably be even more of a wreck than I am right now.” she sighed quietly, “I’m mad at Ramah too. Even though it wasn’t her fault. I don’t know why that is.” Tears came to her eyes, and she furtively wiped them away. “I told you I didn’t want to talk about this.”

                “So, we won’t. We’ll just walk.”

                “Fantastic!” She stomped ahead a couple paces, then slowed down to face him again. “Sorry.” She sighed. A piece of grass bumped her dress, and she uprooted it and threw it on the path.

                “For what?”

                “For all this!” She gestured to herself.

                “Ruth, you just lost one of your closest friends. I get it.”

                “Doesn’t excuse me being a jerk!” She said angrily, while trying not to be a jerk.

                “Maybe not. But it does make it understandable.” He shrugged and walked on. Ruth stayed behind on the path, looking down at the ground and trying extremely hard not to cry. Andrew noticed this and turned around, “Hey, you okay?” At this, she immediately burst into tears. “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” He tried extremely hard to look like he wasn’t freaking out or swearing internally.

                “She’s gone,” Ruth sobbed, like it had hit her all at once all over again.  

                “I know.”

                “And I hate that!”

                “I know.”

                “And…” she sniffled, “I really need a hug.” She cried into his shoulder.

                “I’ve got you, Ruth.” He let her cry for as long as she needed. “I’ve got you.”

                “Adonai,” she chuckled, some of her sadness dispelled for now, “did I just get snot all over your tunic?”

                He shrugged with a grin, “Eh, this was my least favorite one.”

                “Thanks, Andrew.” She grinned back, and suddenly, she wasn’t so angry anymore.

                “Anyti-“

                “Oh, Mary! I need to go talk to Mary!” she ran up to the front, leaving him in the dust.  

                “Oookay! Have a good time with that!”

                “Shalom, Mary,” Ruth walked near her, not daring to look at her. Ramah rolled right before them, Zee, Thomas and Peter pushing her along.

                “Shalom,” Mary nodded.

                “I- uhm- how are you?”

                “Sad,” she looked at Ramah and gulped, “I know what Tamar said, but I still feel so guilty.”

                “Mary,” Ruth took her hand, “it’s not your fault.”

                “I know. I just…” she sighed. “I didn’t expect this to happen.”

                “Me, neither. I wish it didn’t.” Ruth turned to look at her face for the first time that day. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

                “I forgive you. I knew you weren’t yelling at me, anyway. You were yelling at the unfairness of it all. Sometimes… I want to yell, too. But I’m not that kind of person, I suppose. So, I’m just… sad.”

                “Can I be sad with you?”

                She smiled, “Always.”

                And for that entire way there, they were angry and sad together. Mary took some of Ruth’s anger, and Ruth took some of Mary’s sadness. In the end, they were both better off.

                “Look, Tel Dor’s up ahead.” Peter pointed out. Ruth looked up, and Kafni led a hoard of people toward them. He saw Ramah and set his jaw, looking like he wanted to kill one of the disciples himself.

                “Where is she?!” He shouted, moving past Thomas and Jesus to where the cart rolled. “Where is my daughter?!” He threw back one of the veils to see her face. Ruth turned her face down, unable to look. Four men came and took the vehicle, rolling Ramah away forever. Ramah went home, but the people who were her home did not go with her. “You are forbidden from entering this town.”

                “Kafni,” Jesus said gently, “We mourn with you, but we are not dangerous.”

                “If you are not dangerous, why is my daughter dead?” He turned to Thomas and said with malice, “You have already killed me. Then you went and killed her.”  That isn’t fair! Don’t make the man feel worse than he already does!

                Thomas shook his head, “I’m sorry. I am to blame- I failed in my promise.” No, you’re not to blame! Why is everyone blaming the people who are clearly not at fault?  “I loved her, Kafni.”

                “And she loved him,” Jesus added, reaching to Kafni. Kafni shrunk back in disgust.  

                “What are Your words worth?” Kafni spat. “You deceptive devil and sorcerer!” Excuse me?! Mary’s hand stayed firmly planted on Ruth’s shoulder. “You murderer!” It took every bone in Ruth’s body not to lunge at him or scream at him. “The biggest disappointment in my life is that I didn’t teach my daughter better. She had a great mind until you cast a spell on her!” How dare you insult your own daughter in trying to defend her? Ramah was one of the smartest people I know. And you- Mary’s fingers gripped Ruth’s shoulder with more force.

                Thomas finally spoke up, “Ramah was murdered by a Roman, Kafni. And you don’t speak for her.” His voice broke, “She loved Jesus. She felt her calling was an honor. And she wanted everyone to know that, including you.”

                Kafni spewed more words at them, but Ruth was forced to walk away. And in their separate ways, both she and Kafni railed against the unfairness of it all.

Chapter Text

The next few months went by in a blur. Tamar and Mary sometimes went to Jerusalem, leaving Ruth at home. She had made a deal with them- if she promised to stay at her abba’s, not get into any trouble, and continue her ministry with the tent city, she wouldn’t have to go on any of the olive oil trips. This excited her greatly.

                One morning she woke up in her old bed. That’s weird, she chuckled as she looked at the embroidered sheets and fluffy pillows, I’ve been away for so long I’m actually un-used to this finery. She said her morning prayer, treasuring each word. This morning, she’d bear an awkward breakfast with Abba, go to market, and check on the tent city. She repeated the list in her head as she sat down at the long table.

                “Morning, Abba.” She said cheerfully as she dug into her breakfast- cinnamon cakes directly from Salome’s kitchen with a side of goat cheese. “What are you going to do today?”

                “Business.” He replied gruffly, as he always did. Ruth scrunched up her nose at the difference in answers. To remedy this, Ruth mentally translated his words. My darling daughter, thank you for asking. I’m going to do very boring things for work, which you, Ruth, still don’t understand. What are you going to do today?

                “I’m going to go to market, pick up some supplies for the tent city, and then visit them. I’ll probably be back by… the seventh hour, at the latest.”

                “The tent city, again?” My darling daughter, I am very interested in what you’re doing! Look at me asking a question!

                “Yes, Abba. There are many people there. And I have to do my part, since Tamar and Mary are gone to Jerusalem to do something with the olive oil. I forget what.”

                “Why aren’t you going with them?”

                “Because I don’t want to,” she shrugged.

                “You did not want to go with your friends?”

                “Well, on any other trip, I’d love to. We’re actually going on a trip soon, all of us, just traveling to other cities and healing people. I’m excited for that one. But this one is about olive oil. Making olive oil has been alright, but the business side is very boring. I tend to stay out of that. Plus, someone has to make sure the Romans aren’t trying to kick out the pilgrims again. I wonder why they’ve stopped.”

                “They got a new praetor. Gaulus is his name, I believe.”

                “Gaulus? Never heard of him.” She shrugged. “Well, whoever he is, he must be alright.” She finished up her plate and put it on the counter. The cook took it away swiftly, taking a load of dishes to the washbasin. There are some perks to being home. She grinned as she put her bag over her shoulder and headed out the door.

                He added pleadingly, “Ruth, will you remember to be prudent?”

                “I will.” She said in a singsong that was not at all convincing.

                “And will you keep the reputation of this family in mind wherever you go? Though I have allowed you to follow this Rabbi, I do not want any of your other actions to be cause for gossip.”

                “I’ll…” Have I told you about the time I went to jail, yet? “…do that.”

                “And keep your hand in your pocket around people you have not met, so that Capernaum does not think we are sinful.”

                She rolled her eyes and fortunately didn’t respond to this last instruction. “Shalom shalom, Abba.” Without another word, she headed out the door. A couple steps out the door, she met the last man she wanted to see.

                “Bald guy?” She snapped her fingers trying to remember, “No, no, you have a name. Ananias? No, too Jewish. It starts with a G, I’m sure of that. Gaul? Isn’t that a place, though?”

                “Gaius.” He rolled his eyes, “It’s Gaius.”

                “I knew it! Anyway, Gaius, what are you doing here?”

                “Just taking a walk.” He shrugged. At that point, Ruth noticed a funny gold chain circling his neck.

                “What’s with the new jewelry?” She pointed at the thing, shining in the sun. It had some Latin letters on it, which she couldn’t read.

                “I’m the new praetor. You haven’t heard?”

                She shrugged, “I don’t keep up with Roman politics.”

                “I see.”

                “Wait, so if you’re the new praetor, then… I have you to thank.”

                “What do you mean?”

                “You kept the tent city around. No more,” she shook her fist and comically deepened her voice, “ten cubits a day!”

                “It’s shrunk to a manageable size. Your Rabbi hasn’t spoken in a while, so they’re under control for the moment.”

                “You know, you could just say ‘you’re welcome’.” She shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe you’re not so bad.”

                “I’m happy to receive your commendation,” he said in a completely monotone voice.

                “Yeah, m’kay, whatever. As long as you don’t do anything to the tent city, then I won’t assault any more of your officers. So, we’re good. Shake on it?” she held out her left hand.

                “Aren’t you guys not supposed to…”

                “I’ll wash my hands with soap after this.” With this, he firmly shook her hand. “Shalom, shalom, praetor Gaius.”

                “Shay-lohm, shay-lohm to you.”

                “It’s not that hard to pronounce! Shalom, shalom.”

                “Mh-mhm. Also,” He added as she went to leave, “I’m sorry about the woman that died in your group a few weeks ago. What was her name?”

                The mood of the day was immediately ruined. “Ramah.” Ruth said forcefully as she turned away. “Her name was Ramah.” She stomped to the Sea of Galilee. I was having a perfectly lovely day when he just had to bring her up. It’s been a while, so I thought I was fine. But nope, time to throw stones in the Sea of Galilee again!

                She tried picking up a rock with her right hand, only to scrape it. How could I forget about that? She mentally yelled at its uselessness. A thin line of blood began to form on her right palm. She sighed and picked up a rock with her left hand.

                “Hello?” Thomas’s voice surprised her. “Ruth, what are you doing?”  

                “Throwing rocks. It’s fun. Want to try it?” She grinned as another rock sunk into the water.

                “Uhm, alright.” He half-heartedly threw a stone into the sea.

                She tilted her head and looked at him. He no longer wore the maroon striped jacket she had seen him in, now in a pale brown and orange. This was such a dull color that he almost blended into the sand. She picked up another rock, “So, how’re you doing?”

                “Horrible.”

                “Horrible-sad or horrible-angry?”

                “A little bit of both.”

                “Well, that’s what throwing rocks is for.” She shrugged, “It always helps me when I’m angry. Either I get my anger out, or I’m too exhausted to feel angry.”

                “I don’t think throwing rocks will work for me, Ruth.” He sighed and threw one with somewhat more force.

                “But it’ll help. I think I’ve come to a conclusion about things.” She contemplated as she looked across the Sea of Galilee. The clouds floated beautifully today, their white faces reflected in the water.

                “Oh?”

                “Yes. I think we’re all in the in-between.”

                “What?”

                “You know, the in-between.”

                “I don’t, actually.”

                She sighed, “The part that no one talks about. In David’s poems, I’ve noticed he always speaks of the deepest sorrow, or the happiest happy. But he never talks about the in-between. The days that are just… okay. Where you don’t cry, but you have a vague sense of sadness all day. And personally, I want my in-between to be over.”

                “I think I’m still in David’s sorrow,” He threw a rock like it had hurt him personally. “I just can’t function without her.” She tilted her head, trying to come up with an answer that sounded wise.

                “Well,” she began, “someday you’ll be in the in-between.”

                “You know, everyone just wants me to get over it. Everyone wants me to get over my love dying, just get better! But what if… I can’t?”  Tears flooded his eyes. “What if I stay this way forever?”

                “You won’t, trust me. But while you’re in David’s sorrow… I’ll make you soup.”

                “What?”

                “It won’t be very good, just so you know.”

--------------------------

                The group walked along the road again, and this time it was for a good reason. Every couple miles, they talked to some people, or healed others. Jesus always stopped preaching when the crowd became rowdy, though.

                “Go and be at peace,” He commissioned a man who previously had a hand which didn’t work. “Your faith has healed you.” Then… why isn’t my faith healing me? She thought about that until evening. After everyone had gone to bed, she lingered by the fire, messing with her small loom.

                “What are you making?” Jesus leaned over and asked her.

                “A surprise for Mary,” Ruth grinned. “I’m trying to make her a new veil. If I get it done in time, I can give it to her for Hanukkah.” She held it up to the dim light of the campfire, “Do You think it’s done well?”

                He grinned, “I think it’s beautiful. That is a lovely color of red, for sure.”

                “I know, right? I love it.” she set the loom by her seat and contemplated, “Although… it’d be easier if I had two working hands.”

                “Hm?”

                “This was a while back, but remember what I asked You right before the sermon? That I had a question… and if I was ready, I could ask You?”

                He pursed His lips, “Yes, I do.”

                “I… could You…” for one of the first times in her life, she couldn’t get the words out. “Please… these past three years have been so hard for me. Ever since my hand… yeah… I haven’t been able to draw. Of course, I met You because of it, and that I could never possibly regret. But I am with You now. And I think it’d just be nice if I… could have my hand back.”

                “Ruth,” He began with sorrow in His voice.

                “I’m not going to like this answer, am I?”

                “I’m afraid not.”

                “I just-“ she sighed heavily, “I know You’ve got a plan. I just don’t think it’s fair that You’ve healed hundreds, and yet You leave Your own followers hanging.”

                “That is partly because you do not need a miracle to believe in Me. Your faith was enough.”

                “And what’s the other part?”

                “You may not understand.”

                “That’s fine! Try me!”

                “These trials will make you stronger. And they will- and already have- proven your faith and your reliance on Me.”

                “I don’t want to be strong. I want my hand back.”

                He smiled gently, “But I think you do want to be strong. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have followed Me.”

                “So, it’s impossible for me to have faith in You with a working hand?”

                “No, I suppose not. But it’s better that it’s like this, just for right now. Throughout your life, I will show you the work I’m doing within you. You’ll realize that many things are more important than a hand.”

                She grumbled, “I’m not very happy with this, but I can’t really argue with that.”

                “Your trials will also teach you patience, My Storm Girl.”

                “Oh.” Her lip turned down in a pout. “So, I will be healed, I just have to wait?”

                “Horrible, right?” He chuckled.

                “What do I do in the meantime?”

                “What you’ve been doing all along. Find new things to love. Experience your life. Serve Me.”

                “I still don’t understand, though. Why?”

                “You won’t, in this life. Not on this side of eternity. But one day, everything will be explained to you.”

                 “I’m not entirely happy with any of this. It’s still very inconvenient for me.”

                “I know.”

                “And I can’t do what was my main hobby for fifteen years of my life.”

                “I know.”

                “But…” she squinted at Him in the dim firelight, “I think if You’re okay with it, I’ll try to be okay with it.”

                “That sounds like a good plan.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, “Thank you, Ruth.”

                “Trust me, it’s You who I should thank. I don’t think I ever have, actually.” She scrunched up her nose, “That’s weird. Well, thank You, Rabbi. For everything. If I listed all the things You’ve given me, we’d probably be here all night. But You know all of them, right?”

                “I do.”

                “Hey, Rabbi, one last thing: do You know how to draw?”

                He shrugged, “I’ve never tried. Why?”

                “Well, if I can’t draw, I figure I’d pass along my skills. Someone in this camp should know how. So… could I teach you?”

                “I’m sure I could not have a better teacher.”

                “I’m sure I couldn’t have a better student!”

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                “Oh, Moses!” Ruth bit her lip as her weaving tied into a knot again. She rethreaded the material and tried again. Her project looked absolutely horrible, but if she added some embroidery, it might turn out alright. Although, it might go faster if I didn’t keep dropping the loom. She frowned at the horrific-looking thing.

                Mary came back to camp with an armload of wildflowers. Ruth immediately threw her loom in the opposite direction, not looking where it landed.  She heard a thunk, assuming that meant it had landed on the ground, out of sight. 

                “What was that?” Mary tilted her head.

                Ruth shrugged innocently, “What was what?” 

                John held his face in one hand, “She hit me with a loom!” Whoops. 

                “No, I didn’t!”

                “Yes, she did! Look, here’s the bruise.” He showed his perfectly clear face.

                She rolled her eyes, “You’re so dramatic.” She turned to Mary, “Okay, maybe I threw a loom at him. But it wasn’t on purpose!”

                “How could you throw a loom at me not on purpose?”

                “Because I wasn’t looking where I was throwing it!”

                Mary held in a smile, “I assume I would do better not to ask?”

                “Please, Mary.” And don’t figure out the surprise! Mary shrugged and went on to give the flowers to Tamar. Ruth turned to John, “You almost ruined the surprise!”

                “What surprise?” He grumbled, still holding the right side of his face, “the surprise of injury?”

                “No, you goof. I’m making her a veil, and I didn’t want to see the loom, which is why I threw it at you!”

                “Of course I won’t tell her. But you didn’t have to throw a loom at me to make me not tell her.”

                She groaned, “The whole point of that was that I didn’t mean to throw it at you!”

                “It hit me anyway!”

                “Too bad!”

                Matthew, thankfully, interrupted their conversation. He walked toward Ruth and handed her a sheet of paper and a stylus. “Jesus told me you needed this for a project?”

                “Yes, that’s right!” Her face lit up as she snatched the pieces. “I’m going to teach Jesus how to draw.”

                John tilted his head, “Can He learn?”

                “What,” Jesus walked by and joked, “you think it’s too hard for Me?”

                “No, Rabbi, that’s not what I meant.” He waved his hands back and forth rapidly. Ruth tried to hold in a laugh.

                “I know,” He chuckled. “And to answer your question, I wasn’t born knowing carpentry, you know. I learned it, like I did everything else. Drawing is just another skill.” He gestured to the paper, “Let’s begin.”

                “Yes, let’s!” Ruth found a flat piece of wood and steadied the paper on it. She handed the whole bundle to Jesus. “Now, let’s decide what to draw. I’m the best at landscapes, so You’d be able to learn the best, but portraits are also-“

                “Portraits?” John raised his head at the word. “I volunteer!’

                “Hold on, I haven’t even decided what we’re drawing yet.”

                Andrew set his bundle of wood down, “If you need someone to draw, I’m available.”

                “No, you’re not!” Peter argued. “You’ve got to de-bark that wood. I’m not doing anything right now; I could sit for it.”

                Philip sat on a log near them, “I’ve been out on the road. I’ve never seen someone draw. I bet Peter’s seen plenty.”

                “It would be interesting to experience.” Matthew tilted his head in contemplation.

                Jesus chuckled, “Ruth, what do you think?”

                “I think the landscape is perfect for drawing today.” Ruth winked as she turned toward the trees. She heard the groans of various disciples, and she ignored them all. “See those mountains in the distance? We can work on perspective. And there’s a path down there, if You want to try Your hand at people.” She frowned at the piece of wood. “An easel would work the best with this kind of thing. But we’ll use what we have.”

                “We always do.”

                “Very true, Rabbi. Okay, so first you want to mark out the shapes of the landscape. The horizon is first- where the grass meets the mountains. It’s about halfway up Your paper. Then…”

---------------------------------------

                Sixteen of them gathered around the small piece of parchment when it was all finished. “It’s beautiful, Rabbi.” Tamar remarked. The mountains had been captured with long strokes. It almost looked more beautiful than the landscape itself.

                “I did My best.” Jesus shrugged humbly. “And I had a good teacher.”

                “Seriously, this is amazing!” Ruth took the piece of paper and held it up to the light. “Are You sure this is Your first time drawing?”

                “I’m sure.”

                “I’ve got to frame this, seriously.” She turned to the women, “We could hang this in our house! What do you think?” Mary and Tamar nodded excitedly.

                Judas frowned, “While it is a lovely picture, I don’t think we have enough money for a frame-“

                “Judas, don’t ruin the moment.” She rolled her eyes with a smile, “Well, if we don’t have money to buy a frame, good thing we have a carpenter for a Rabbi.”

                “Good thing!” Jesus chuckled.

Chapter Text

                “Shalom, Jesse!” Ruth grinned as she bounced up to the stall. “Seventeen pomegranates, please.”

                “Seventeen?” Jesse chuckled as he began to put them in the bag. “Are you sure of that amount?”

                “Well, yeah!” She began to count on her fingers, “’cause there’s Jesus, Mary, me, Tamar, Andrew, Ramah, Simon Peter-“ she stopped herself in the middle of the count as her brain caught up to her heart. She shrugged, “Sixteen, sorry.”

                “I haven’t seen you around here in a while,” He remarked as he loaded her bag with the fruit. “How have you been?”

                “Hmm, partly cloudy. It’s been a rough couple of months. But I did just get back from a trip with my Rabbi, and boy, should I tell you about that! So, we were on this path in between two mountains- don’t ask me geography, I don’t know- and there was this man on the road who was completely blind! So we stopped-“

                “Hey, lady!” A gruff man called from behind her, “you’re holding up the line!”

                “Sorry, whatever.” She moved to the side and counted out her payment. “So, we stopped on the side of the road, and Jesus knelt down to the man. He didn’t spit on the ground like He did last time, which I honestly was kind of grateful for. I mean, I love Him, don’t get me wrong, but spitting? Really? So anyway-“

                “Ruth?” Mary came up to her. She squinted at the basket, “I thought Judas wanted you to get apples and dates?”

                “Hold on, please. I’m telling the story!”

                “What story?”

                “The healing of that one blind man! Afterward, his sons came to him, and he got to see their faces for the first time, and I cried, and Jesus cried, basically everyone cried- but that’s at the end! I’m getting ahead of myself!”

                Jesse took her hand and pat it, “I can hear the rest later. For now, it sounds like you have to go.”

                “Oh-“ She turned back to Mary, “that’s right! Thank you, Mary.” she handed what was clearly too much money to Jesse. When he started to protest, she shrugged, “Keep the change.”

                “Aren’t you poor now?” He chuckled, “I’ve heard the complaining of many market owners that they now lack your business.”

                “I’m living with my Abba. And no matter how much I protest; he keeps giving me money!” She laughed, “So I might as well use it for good. Shalom shalom!”

                “Shalom shalom.”

                As she and Mary walked away, Mary laughed, “Ruth, what in the world do we need sixteen pomegranates for?”

                “Fun.” Ruth nodded solemnly. “How many seeds do pomegranates produce?”

                “Enough for two or more.”

                “Oh. Didn’t consider that.” She shrugged, “Well, we can use eight today and eight another day. And everyone needs pomegranates.”

                “I’m sure they do.” 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

                Judas frowned when she came in, “I thought I said we didn’t have enough money for that amount of pomegranates. I told you to get apples and dates.”

                “Yes, but this is my money.” Ruth shrugged as she put the basket of sixteen pomegranates- and very few apples and dates- on the table, “and I wanted pomegranates.”

                “I have already discussed with you that this money of yours should be shared!”

                “What does it look like I’m doing?”

                “Shared in a more practical way.”

                “Eh, practical’s boring.” She shrugged.

                “Practical- boring- ugh,” He growled. He said to her in a low whisper, “Do you not understand the trouble you’re causing?”

                “Peter already had this talk with me a while ago. Obviously, I won’t use the group’s money for anything not absolutely necessary.” She folded her arms, “but this is my money. And I used my money to buy sixteen pomegranates.”

                “And that was selfish of you!”

                “Selfish- I-“ she wanted to go off on him, but she caught Mary's disapproving look. “Shalom shalom, Judas. Have fun with your pomegranate, which I bought you.”

                “Which your abba bought me,” He corrected.

                “A sizable portion of it comes from babysitting Deborah. I just supplemented it with Abba’s money.”

                “And who’s Deborah?”

                “Exactly!” she walked to the table and set the bag of pomegranates down. “Whenever I buy fruit, it’s always such a big deal.” She muttered under her breath.

                Matthew took a pomegranate, examined it, and then tried to bite into it. He turned to Philip, “How do you eat a pomegranate?”

                “Here, let me show you.” Philip took the pomegranate and a knife and began cutting the fruit.

                “You cut it in half?” Nathanael squinted. “What were you, raised by wolves?”

                Andrew shrugged, “That’s how I do it.”

                “And we were raised by wolves,” Peter muttered.

                “Be nice. They did their best.”

                “I’m sure they did.”

                John interrupted, “Well, I cut it in wedges.”

                “I didn’t even know you could do that.” Andrew pondered.

                Peter added, “Probably because we were never taught.”

                Somehow, the pomegranate argument got more heated as time went on. Ruth stood up and went to Eden, “Well, I’m sorry to have caused such discord.” She chuckled.

                Eden returned, “I think they would’ve made that discord all by themselves.”

                At that point, Little James walked in, “Hey, Rabbi said to tell all of you to pack up. We’re going on a journey.”

                “A journey!” Ruth squealed, “Have I told you how much I love journeys?”

                “No, certainly not.” Peter remarked sarcastically. Ruth rolled her eyes and ran out the door. She ran all the way to her abba’s house, since most of her stuff was still there.

                “Ruth?” Barnabas squinted as he saw her packing. “What are you doing?”

                “We’re going on another journey!” She haphazardly folded a dress and stuffed it in her leather bag. “I don’t know where, and I don’t know for how long. I just know I’m excited!”

                “Another one?” He crossed his arms. “This journeying has been frequent. When you came back to Capernaum, I thought you would be staying here.”

                “But I don’t want to stay here.” She burst, then remembered to hold her tongue, “If Jesus says we’re going on a journey, and He’s taking all of us, then I must follow Him.”

                “This Rabbi takes you on a disagreeable amount of journeys.”

                “Sorry it distresses you.” She gritted her teeth and shoved her other dress in her bag with considerable force.

                “What am I supposed to tell my guests when they ask where my daughter is? When she is not there to serve them?”

                “The truth,” she shrugged, “that I am a follower of Jesus.”

                “I have heard the edicts.” He furrowed his brow, “and anyone who declares Jesus of Nazareth as Messiah is to be put out of the synagogue. I have put up with this childish foolishness long enough, Ruth. Now it’s serious.”

                “You’re right. It is serious.” She said with a massive grin, “Jesus of Nazareth is Messiah. Happy?”

                He sighed deeply and said quietly, “My child, you have exchanged one brand of blasphemy for another.”

                “But what if it isn’t blasphemy? What if He is the Messiah?” She folded her arms, “You saw Him heal that blind man.”

                “He is a rabble-rousing, blasphemous-“

                “Son of God, Son of Man.”  

                “Ruth!” He burst, stopping her tongue. “Do you realize what could happen to this family’s reputation? To you? To your reputation?”

                “Being one of the Messiah’s followers sounds like the reputation I want.”

                “It is not the reputation I want- for my only daughter to be following this violent revolutionary who consorts with Gentiles!”

                 “Well, I guess we’re at an impasse, then. Shalom, Abba. I’ll see you when I get back.” She walked out the door.

                “Wait.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, and Ruth half-expected for something flowery and loving to come out of his mouth. “Give me your purse.”

                “What?”

                “Until you escape this foolish phase, you will receive nothing from me. I’m sorry to do this to you, but you must be disciplined. I always let you have what you wanted as a child. Now, I’m feeling the effects.” 

                “A phase?!” She spat, even as she handed the money over. “This is the truest thing I’ve ever experienced. And if you can’t see that, I’m sorry. If you can’t see that, I don’t want your money anyway. Goodbye, Abba. I hope we meet again.” She slammed the door and sulked all the way to Peter’s house. Sometimes he is just unbearable! And what’s with ‘I always let you have what you wanted as a child, so look how bad you turned out’? Wowwww, Abba. Great going.

                On her way, she bumped into Gaius. He came from Peter’s house, walking with a giant grin on his face. A Roman grinning? That’s never good. She tried to move out of his way, but he stopped her on the road. “Ruth!” He called out. “You weren’t at the house- let me tell you what happened!”

                “Bald guy- praetor Gaius.” Do I bow or something? “Uh… what happened?”

                “Jesus healed my so- servant! Your Rabbi healed my servant, and He didn’t even have to look at him!”

                “Wow,” she grinned, “that’s amazing. I’m happy for you.”

                “You were right. I do… believe in Him.” Tears came to his eyes, “I have to go! Shalom!”

                “You got it right!” she called after him and walked into the house, in a considerably better mood. No one was there- they had already packed and left. Ruth caught sight of Matthew and ran after him.

                “Matthew!” Ruth called.

                “Hello, Ruth.” He said in a dampened tone. Ruth looked around- everyone seemed to have the same unsatisfied expression.

                “What’s going on?”

                “John and Big James just asked Jesus if they could sit at His right and left hand in His kingdom.”

                “They what?!” she grumbled, “Well… what’d He say?”

                “He simply said, ‘You don’t know what you’re asking,’ and then walked away. We’re following Him right now.”

                “John and James asked Him for seats of honor in His kingdom?!”

                “Yes, that is what I just said.”

                “They’re crazy!” she rolled her eyes, “Of all the prideful, pushy…”

                “Presumptuous?”

                “Presumptuous! What’s that mean?”

                 “It’s like pushy and prideful mushed together in one word.”

                “Of all the prideful, pushy, presumptuous things they could do, this tops them all! Asking for seats in His kingdom? I mean, what?! Who do they think they are?” 

                “Rabbi,” Ruth heard John ask as they walked along, “What’s wrong?”

                Jesus turned around, “Are you able to drink the cup that I would drink? Or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” Are we able to… what?

                “Yes, we are the Sons of Thunder.” Big James said. “We’ll do anything for You.”

                “You don’t even know what that means, either.”

                “Tell us! We’ll do anything!”

                Jesus began with frustration, “It means that when we go to Jerusalem, the Son of Man will be delivered to the chief priests and the scribes, and they will condemn Him to death and deliver Him to the Gentiles!” Hold on… what? Condemned to death? Delivered to the Gentiles? What does this mean? “And they will mock Him, spit on Him, flog Him, and kill Him! And after three days, He will rise.”

                They’ll… what? They’ll flog You? This has to be a metaphor. Ruth nodded, her confusion decided. You use metaphors all the time that I don’t get. Obviously, this whole flogging and death thing is a metaphor. For… something.

                 John asked quietly, “…What are you talking about?”

                “I thought the Son of Man was You.” Matthew added. Oh, that’s a possibility. Because it’s weird to talk about yourself in the third person. So, Jesus could be talking about someone else!

                Jesus continued, not answering their questions, “And you will drink the cup that I drink, and be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized.” He lowered His voice, “But you do not want that now. You are not ready for it.” Ready for what? Metaphorical death? Because it has to be metaphorical, right? Jesus… can’t actually die. He’s the Messiah. Nowhere does it say that the Messiah will die. At least… not that I know of. “To sit at My right and left hand is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by My Father.”

                “You have no business asking what you did,” Nathanael spat.

                Big James turned, “No offense, Nathanael, but we were here long before you.”  

                “But how could you ask it?” Ruth stepped forward. “Do you think you’re better than everyone else? Did you think that ‘ask and it will be given’ applied to stupid things?  

                Peter muttered, “Ruling positions, high seats of honor…”

                “Oh, look who’s talking.” John rolled his eyes.

                “I didn’t ask to be the rock! He gave me that title!”

                “Stop!” Jesus rebuked. “All of you have been given positions of authority. All of you will play a role in creating My church! But you are thinking like the Gentiles, whose rulers lord their authority over their inferiors. That is not how My kingdom works. I have told you this before,” His voice broke, and Ruth wanted to cry right then, “and you still don’t get it. This has to change, because their way will not be your way! Do you hear Me?”

                “Yes,” They all said sullenly.

                “Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave. Because even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life for a ransom for many.” Okay, You lost me there. What do You mean? I don’t get it! You can’t mean that You’re going to die, because… well, You just can’t. Ransoms are given for hostages. Is this a hostage situation?

                “Rabbi, who is being held hostage?” Zee asked.

                At this, Jesus turned away and stayed silent for a long time. Uhm… Rabbi? “Go.” He said quietly, “Continue south to Jerusalem.”

                “Rabbi, do You need anything?”   

                “I’ll catch up, Zee.”

                Ruth interjected, “But, Lord-“

                “I said I’ll catch up.”

                So, Ruth followed everyone south, mulling over these things. She desperately wished to understand what was going to happen. At the same time, she wished she could stay in ignorance. Even though she convinced herself that what He said was pure metaphor, it still disquieted her deeply.

Chapter Text

None of them talked as they walked on the long path to Jerusalem. Jesus still hadn’t joined them, but a shadow of His words walked along with them. The Son of Man will be killed. The Son of Man will be killed. Will be killed. Will be killed. The most distressing part of Jesus’s speech echoed around Ruth’s mind. It echoed so much that she couldn’t remember any other word He had spoken.

                Far down along the path, she saw a horse racing toward them at a fast pace. “Simon Peter,” she pointed at the horse, “what’s that?”

                “Huh, looks like a messenger.” Peter shrugged. “Nice box on his back, too- probably not for us.”

                To their surprise, the horse stopped right in front of them. The man on the horse carried a giant box on his back, covered in embroidered fabric. “Are you followers of Jesus of Nazareth?” he asked.

                 “Yeah, what’s it to you?” John fired back.

                “Are you sure? I was told there would be twelve men, and at least four women with you. If you are not the followers of Jesus of Nazareth, I must take my package somewhere else.” At least four women? But there are only three- oh. There are only three.

                “We are.” Peter stepped forward, in a defensive posture.

                “Is there an…” He read a card tied to his wrist, “Andrew bar Jonah among you?”

                “That’s me.” Andrew raised his hand, coming to the front. Everyone shot him death glares.

                “What’s in the package?” Peter asked as the messenger put the box down in front of them. He treated it as if an assassin somehow sat in the box.

                “I do not know its contents.” The messenger shrugged as he started to go away from them.

                “Who sent you?” He called after him. “Hey, I asked who sent you!”

                “Yeah!” Ruth added, “and you didn’t even stay long enough for me to pet your horse!”

                The messenger left them in the dust, leaving them to examine the package. Zee was the first to approach, taking the fabric off the box with a swish. It was covered with gold and other jewels; more ornate than even Ruth had ever seen. Zee examined the box carefully, tapping it and sniffing it. “The box itself is alright. Nothing poisonous.” He declared.

                “It could have a rabid raccoon in it.” Ruth grinned.  “Or snakes.”

                “I don’t like snakes.” Andrew shook his head vigorously.

                “A raccoon couldn’t have survived the journey.” Zee replied seriously. “Snakes… I’m not sure.”

                Ruth added unhelpfully, “Maybe it’s a hoard of tarantulas.”

                Peter rolled his eyes and ignored her, “Whoever sent this is obviously rich, and working with outdated information. And the box was meant for Andrew.”

                “Could be one of the leaders from the Decapolis,” Philip shrugged. “They were overjoyed with us for ending their crisis. And they’d be rich enough.”

                Andrew questioned, “But why single out me? You were there too. Maybe it’s one of John’s supporters. He had one or two rich people on his side.”

                “Why don’t we just open it and find out?” Ruth asked impatiently.

                Zee nodded, “Good idea.” He motioned for Andrew to crouch near the box and opened it carefully. “Hissss!” He poked Andrew, causing him to flinch back in surprise.

                “Seriously?” Andrew asked, half-annoyed and half-laughing. He peered into the box’s contents, “It’s from Joanna! Silks and silverware galore!”

                Peter and Judas distributed the gifts, charging each group to go to market and get a fair price. Big James went with the women, to make sure no one bothered them.

                “Mary,” Ruth began in a low voice as they walked, “What did you think of what Jesus said the other day? About the Son of Man dying? It has to be a metaphor, right?”  

                Mary frowned in thought, “It doesn’t have to be. But it probably is. At least, I pray that it is. We just have to be prepared for anything.”

                “I don’t want to be prepared for anything, though. I want things to stay the same. I want to follow Jesus, gallivanting across the countryside, healing people, and making rude people angry.”  

                Mary smiled down at her, “And what is the result of all these things?”

                “I have a lot of fun.”

                “Well, besides that.” She chuckled, “Things change. That’s the point of why Jesus came- because something had to change.”

                “It has changed, though. You and I and everyone here have been redeemed. What more change do we need?”

                “I certainly don’t need any more. Nevertheless, I think our Rabbi has more change in mind.”

                “Like revolution?”

                “Of a sort.”

                “Like… death?”

                “Maybe. But I trust Him.”

                Ruth nodded, “I trust Him too. I have faith in Him enough to keep Himself safe. You’ve convinced me, Mary. He’ll be fine.”

                “That’s not…”

                Tamar interjected, “But what could it be a metaphor for?”

                “I don’t know.” Ruth shrugged, “I just know it has to be a metaphor for something. Because Jesus is the Messiah. And Messiahs don’t die,” she looked to Big James, “right?”

                Big James frowned, “There’s certainly no precedent for it. Tanakh talks of a warrior who will overthrow the oppressive government and bring a reign of peace to Israel.”

                “From our experience, we’ve learned He’s different.” Mary pondered. “He will bring peace, but not in the way we originally thought. What if… His death is the thing that brings peace?”

                “But that doesn’t make any sense.” Ruth argued. “How could the death of the Son of God possibly bring peace?”

                “I have no idea. That’s just my theory. I trust God with the particulars.”

                “I love you, Mary, but I think you’re wrong. I trust God enough to know that He wouldn’t just let His Son die like that when we’re so close to freedom- when so many good things are happening right now.” 

                “Will we even be able to continue our ministry if Jesus dies?” Tamar pondered.

                “But He’s probably not going to die,” Ruth countered, “So that’s not even something we have to worry about.”

                “I don’t know,” Big James added, “but it’s not something I like to consider.” He shuddered, “and certainly not the ‘be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized’ part.”

                “Does that mean we have to be baptized? I haven’t, yet.”

                He sighed, thinking, “I think that’s the part that is actually a metaphor.”

                “Well, what does it mean?” He gave her no answer. “James, come on.” Absolutely no one told her anything. She grumbled in frustrated silence while they sold the gemstones. I don’t know what any of it means. It feels like I’m at the beginning again, not understanding any of Jesus’s words. But I know it’s all metaphor, that I’m sure of. It’s just more cool theological stuff that my Rabbi does that I don’t have to worry about. One day twenty years in the future, He’ll explain it to me.

                She could almost picture it. Jesus would be sitting on His throne, and she’d be the court painter- because by then, He’d have decided that she waited long enough. She would be sketching Him in His majesty, and she’d ask, “Rabbi-“ No, you should call Him King, she corrected her daydream, He’ll be a King by then. “King, what did you mean twenty years ago when You said the Gentiles would kill You?”

                Jesus would look at her, His golden eyes gleaming with amusement from under His crown. He would reply in a booming but joyful voice, befitting a kindly King, “Ruth, My Storm Girl, it was a parable. Here’s what I meant…” and then He would reply in a way that made sense. Ruth wasn’t sure what that way was, yet, but she knew it would make sense.

                She could almost picture it.

                Almost.

                “Ruuuth,” Mary’s gentle voice shook her from her reverie. The daydream faded from view, like it had never existed and could never exist the way she pictured it. “You were asked a question.”

                The jewel vendor asked again, “I was saying, you aren’t Ruth bat Barnabas, are you? My, when I last saw you, you were this high!” she gestured to her knee. I was never that short!

                “That I am,” Ruth put on her usual smile. She examined the vendor’s dark skin and slim figure, “Elisheva, right?”

                “The very one!” Elisheva grinned and leaned forward. She spoke to the others, “Ruth and I go way back. She used to come here with her father on his business trips about twice a year! How is Barnabas, by the way?”

                That’s right, I haven’t told anyone about the fight with my abba. Things have been much too chaotic around here lately. “Uhm…fine.” A picture of his disappointed, angry face came flooding back to her mind. “Just fine.”  

                “Good, good. Now, let me see these jewels… lapis lazuli! Now that’s a fine stone…”

                And with that, Ruth was thrown back into her routine with the force of an anchor being thrown into water. Once again, she was just a disciple of Jesus, without worry of impending doom. She shoved the events of the past day aside, ignoring and avoiding them. 

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                “Ugh,” Ruth tried again to draw with her left hand on the small piece of parchment she bought. The sketches she had made so far were… beginner, at best. The mountains barely looked like mountains, and the flowers she drew seemed as if they had gone through war.  

                “We could find an inn in Jerusalem,” Judas suggested in the conversation behind her. “Register Jesus under a false name, so that no one finds us.”

                “And break the eighth commandment?” John crossed his arms.

                Matthew corrected, “Ninth.” The group looked at him strangely.

                “He’s right,” Peter held back a grin, “Lying is the ninth.”

                “The order doesn’t matter,” John continued, “Lying’s lying.”

                “Zee, you have a brother in Jerusalem.” Big James turned toward Zee, who sharpened his knife against a rock. “Could we stay with him?”

                “Last I saw him, he was homeless.”

                “That could’ve changed,” Zee shrugged, “he certainly did. Even if he has a lodging, it could not accommodate all of us.”

                Conversation continued, and Ruth remained focused on her work. I’m trying, Rabbi. She argued mentally. A bird came to life on the page, horribly mangled. It’s just frustrating. She quickly filled the one page she bought with attempts at sketches. If I had Abba’s money, I could buy as much parchment as I want. But, if he doesn’t believe in Jesus, then I don’t want his money anyway.  In her final space on the page, she drew a crown. It was the only thing that turned out somewhat well. She considered this a sign.

                “Good morning, My friends,” Jesus came out of the wilderness and greeted them. Though He had joined them soon after they found Joanna’s box, everything had been… different. Every joke and smile held an unsettling weight. Ruth knew in her heart that Jesus wouldn’t die, but something would change. Something serious was coming, and she couldn’t stop it.

                “Shalom, Rabbi.” The disciples offered up greetings.

                “Master,” Peter looked up at Him, “where would You like to stay tonight?”

                Jesus was quick with an answer, “The home of my friend Lazarus in Bethany. We will not go directly into Jerusalem tonight; we’ll stay in Bethany. I am eager to see Lazarus, his sisters, and My eema. So, let’s get to the road quickly, huh?”

                They broke camp, and working quickly it didn’t take more than half an hour. Ruth found the routine easier now, and not as draining. The group set out, with Jesus at the head. Their journey was filled with talking and laughing, and Ruth’s face hurt from smiling so much. See, this is how it should be. None of that scary seriousness I hate so much. Just the sevente- sixteen of us, following God’s will. The sun is shining brightly, I can hear the birds singing, and-

                “Halt!” A loud authoritative voice stopped them in their tracks. Oh, come on! A whole hoard of Romans stood in front of them like vultures. “Jewish citizens!” Yeah, that’s us. How could you tell? Was it the Rabbi, the prayer tassels, or the veils that gave us away?

                Jesus turned and said carefully, “Everyone remain calm.” Historically, our encounters with Romans have not gone well. Ruth examined the Romans, looking for a friendly face. No Gaius, here. Means we're out of luck.

                “Disarm yourselves and leave your bags. You’re carrying ours now.” the Roman dropped his bag right in front of Jesus, regarding Him with the same respect as a flea. Pride dripped off the soldier, and it made Ruth want to punch someone. So much for ‘everyone, remain calm’. Do you know Who you’re talking to?

                “Under Roman law,” Matthew explained under his breath, “A Roman can force a Jew to carry his things.”

                “Well,” Ruth muttered as she shrugged off her bag, “Roman law is stupid.”

                “There is a legal limit, however. A maximum of one mile, and no further.”

                “A whole mile?!” Her voice rose to a disgruntled tone.

                Matthew turned and looked at her curiously, “Have you never been stopped?”

                “No.” She shrugged. “I suppose my abba looked too rich.”

                The Romans went through and handed their heavy metal gear to everyone. The Roman at the front shoved his helmet onto Jesus’s head. It stayed lopsided on His head, and the Roman laughed uproariously. That’s it! I’m going to punch somebody! A poke at the base of her neck told her that was not the right choice. Fine, then. I’ll just glare daggers at people. Her whole body shook with anger and embarrassment. These Romans always ruin my fun.

                “Well, look here.” One chuckled as he gave her his pack and shoved a helmet onto her head. “This little miss looks like she’s about to bite.”

                “I do bite.” Ruth bared her teeth. “I draw blood.”

                “Feisty, aren’t ya?”

                She said nothing, only continued to glare at him. Another Roman shoved a helmet onto Mary’s head. It was only because of a swift look from Mary that Ruth did not commit a crime.

                They walked along, and Ruth hated every step. A mile, she gritted her teeth and continued walking, it’s just a mile. The Roman’s pack was bigger than her normal bag, so soon she felt exhausted and annoyed.

                “I get it,” Andrew glanced over at her, his face set in a grim line. “It’s not that I’m humiliated- I am. It’s that I’m so murderously angry they’re doing this to Him.”

                “Exactly.” She nodded, glancing at Jesus. He seemed the most unaffected out of all of them, though He wore the helmet with the highest plume. One day, He’ll be King. He’ll wear a crown instead of that stupid thing. And then you’ll all be sorry. “It is at moments like these I understand the Zealots.”

                He gave a wry chuckle, “You’ve got that right. We’ve only got half a mile to go, and then all this can be over. Do you need me to carry anything?”

                Ruth lifted her head, “I’m more than strong enough to carry a couple things. Don’t you remember that time I insisted on carrying your barrel of fish home myself?”

                 “I remember you falling flat on your face.”

                “Well, you can’t expect me to be able carry everything.” She joked. “Not when I only have one working hand.”

                “This was three years before then!”

                She shrugged with an innocent smile, “Oh, really? Well, I’ve grown stronger since then. Watch this.” In an impressive feat of strength, she lifted the Roman’s pack over her shoulders. She could lift it perfectly well, but she faked a stumble. Andrew’s face went wide with worry. “Gotcha.” She gave a mischievous smirk.

                “Ruth bat Barnabas!”

                It was at that point that a Roman grabbed Tamar’s hand, raised it, and with a smirk called out, “Which one of you does this belong to?” All the Romans laughed, the slimes they were. I’m going to-

                “Don’t do anything,” Andrew sensed Ruth’s temper from a mile away.

                “I wasn’t going to,” she lied. If only I had some pomegranates.

                When she thought it would never end, they reached the stone marker. I never thought I’d be so grateful for that stone. “Stop here!” one Roman shouted, but Jesus kept going.

                Jesus turned around and asked with a grin, “The outpost is your destination, yes? The one a mile ahead?”

                “Yes, but we’re only allowed one mile.”

                “By force. There’s no law against citizens aiding you of their own volition. Come on, then.” He motioned to the disciples to follow. Rabbi, I love You, I’d die for You, but You have got to be kidding me!  Unfortunately, He was not kidding. Ruth picked up her pack with the rest of them and kept going. The Romans were left there for a moment, very confused.

                The words of Jesus’s sermon on the Korazim Plateau came back to her. She muttered with a wry smile, “If someone commands you to go one mile,”

                Philip answered back, “Go with them two.”

                As they walked, the helmets slowly disappeared from the disciples’ heads and went back on the Romans’. A Roman removed Jesus’s helmet, which Ruth was incredibly pleased about. She turned to the Roman on her left and said with some humor, “Can you take this off? It’s not really my style.” The Roman rolled his eyes and took the helmet off. “Thank you.”

                “I can take that,” one of the soldiers offered as he motioned to the pack. Not a chance, slimeball! She was reminded to be nice by a poke in the neck. ...No thank you, sir.

                “And rob me of carrying…” she examined the pack, “whatever this is?” she hugged the pack closer to herself, and her glare at the Romans became the slightest bit softer. The slightest bit.

                They finally came to the outpost. Ruth set the pack down carefully, not wanting to smash whatever was in it. A Roman nodded his thanks, and she gave a respectful nod in return. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that?! Ruth bat Barnabas!

                As they walked back to their things, Ruth found herself… satisfied. It was incredibly strange. The embarrassed and angry feeling that she had felt for the past hour drifted into happiness at helping someone. Ew! Stop smiling!  We just went two miles out of our way, and now we’re going to arrive at Bethany an hour late for dinner. And I’m already starving! So, stop it!

                She told Mary, “I should feel like punching someone. The Romans just forced us to carry their things and treated us horribly almost the whole way to the outpost. Instead, I feel…” she shook her head, trying to get rid of the fuzzy feeling in her chest. “weird.”  

                “I’m not nearly as caught off guard as you are.” Mary laughed in reply, “Our Rabbi is special. He is responsible for the change in our- and the Romans’ hearts.”

                He is special. She glanced at Jesus leading the way back to their bags. And I don’t want to lose Him. I want Him to be King. She tussled with her feelings on the way to Bethany. And I know He won’t die, but I can feel something coming. I want to know what happens next.

               A voice that was not her own rang inside her head, But, Storm Girl, you already know what happens next. 

Chapter Text

               “You know, in Bethany,” Andrew began as they walked, “they have the best olive oil I’ve ever tasted. It even comes in a jar carved in all kinds of patterns- scenes of Joshua, Moses, the Prophets!” Ruth had heard him describe it so many times she could almost see it- a glazed clay jar, with the Red Sea being parted in a brilliant blue.

                Peter rolled his eyes and said to the group, “Ever since we visited Bethany on business five years ago, he hasn’t been able to stop talking about that oil. He mentions it every time Bethany is brought up!”

                “It’s just that good!”

                They approached Bethany, stopping suddenly. Bethany seemed brighter than Capernaum, its whole town coated in colors and clouds. I like this place, Ruth folded her arms and appraised it. Jesus said to the disciples, “Wait for it…”

                “Jesus!” A woman ran out of the city, covered in bright clothing. Her excitement as she ran toward them was even brighter than her clothes. “You’re here! At last! Come, come, all of you!”

                “Hi, Mary.” He beamed as they walked into Bethany.

                “Shalom,” Mary allowed Jesus to lead the way to her house so she could greet everyone. “Shalom. Shalom!” she introduced herself to each person individually. “I’m Mary.”

                “I know,” Ruth grinned, “and I’m Ruth.”

                “Ruth! Oh, that’s a good name. I love her story. Such loyalty! To follow Jesus all this way, I see you’re loyal as well.”

                “Oh, thank you.” She looked around the city, having never been to Bethany. “I love your city.”

                “I do too!” Mary of Bethany took Ruth’s arm as they walked, pointing out the sights. “That is our synagogue, and Aviva over here sells the best oranges… and look! Here is our house!”

                The house was beautifully decorated, ornate patterns covering the walls. Pillars bordered their entrance. It looks like a palace! Another woman who looked similar to Mary chopped fruit as they came in. “Shalom,” she said hurriedly, not looking up.

                 Jesus smiled, “And why is My dear Martha hiding in the house?”

                “My Lord!” Startled, she stopped chopping and came toward them. She looked around the house with shame, “Oh, Rabbi, please pardon the state of this place.”

                “It’s fine,” He said with a bit of confusion in His voice. “You did well.”

                “What’s the meaning of this?” A man came into the room. “You barge into my house unannounced, with all these people?” Uhm… “Our Martha, distressed?! Do you think we were prepared to host you all?”

                “Lazarus, we were just passing through and thought we could…”

                The man, apparently Lazarus, burst into laughter. “Oh, Jesus, I’m kidding. Of course you’re welcome! Shalom!” He waved to the group, who were somewhat afraid of him. “Got to keep you all on your toes!”

                “Jesus, what can I get You?” Martha stepped forward, down to business already, “Water, olives, wine?”

                “Something better than all of those,” Jesus stood on His toes, looking around.

                “Such an eema’s boy,” Lazarus chuckled. “She went to the woods to pick berries.”

                “Alone?”

                “I try, I do! But You of all people know how stubborn she can be.”

                “Lazarus,” Martha said through her teeth, “go get her.” Well, someone’s on edge.

                “It’s fine, she’ll be back before dark.” Jesus said. “Let’s just sit, huh?”

                “Yes, of course! You must have had a terribly long journey.” She led the group into the sitting room, making sure everyone had a comfortable spot. The couch where Ruth sat was covered with patterned cushions and rich fabrics. Ruth, Tamar, Mary and Mary spoke quietly, enjoying their time. Jesus and Lazarus spoke casually.

                “You know, that reminds Me of a story,” Jesus said, and all mouths fell silent. Ruth’s ears perked up, ready to pay full attention to the lilt of His voice. “The kingdom of Heaven is like the master of a house who went early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. He found laborers and agreed to pay them a denarius a day. He went out about the third hour, found others, and said, ‘Go into the vineyard, and at the end of the day, whatever is right, I will give you.’”

                As He spoke, Martha came and gave them each a cup of water. She glared at her sister, motioning with her head to the kitchen. Mary paid no attention, enraptured by the story. Martha grumbled and went away. Ooo, someone’s unhappy.

                Jesus continued, “He went to the marketplace again at the sixth and ninth hour and said the same. Even at the eleventh hour, he went and found others standing. He hired those, too. At the end of the day, he called his foreman to give everyone their wages, from the last workers to the first. Those hired at the eleventh hour received one denarius. Those hired at the ninth, sixth, third, and first hour received the same. The first workers grumbled, claiming that they had been cheated. But the master said to them, ‘I have not cheated you. You received the wage we agreed upon, and I chose to give the others the same. Am I not allowed to choose what to do with my own money? Now, take what is yours and go.’ So, the last will be first, and the first, last.”

                “Wait, hold on.” Judas replied, “The ones who worked one hour were paid one full denarius? That’s twelve times more than what they were owed. Is the kingdom of Heaven unjust?”

                “Through earthly eyes,” Jesus smiled at Judas, “I suppose it looks unfair. But I didn’t say the kingdom of this world. I said the kingdom of Heaven. There, the tables are turned, and the last are first.” Martha handed Him a piece of bread covered in fruit. “Thank you, this looks delightful!”

                “Would’ve been better if I hadn’t had to do it all alone,” Martha muttered. Whoa, okay, slow down, girl. We’re just listening to Jesus. Mary looked ashamed, beginning to stand up.

                “Better?”

                “Yes, better. Fitting someone as important as You.” She said with some frustration, “It seems You haven’t noticed that my sister left me to prepare everything by myself. From the moment You got here, she hasn’t done a thing to serve You.” Martha seemed like she would break into tears right then. “She has ignored everything I’ve done, and it’s clear she’s not going to help me… unless You would change her mind.”

                “Martha, Martha,” Jesus said gently, “Come sit by Me.”

                “How can I sit? Only half Your followers have been served.” Jesus wordlessly took her hand, pleading with her to sit. “I’m sorry, I- I will go back.”

                “Please, I want the others to hear this. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You’ve done a wonderful thing.” Martha slowly sat down. “You are anxious about many things, and it is not for nothing. Hospitality will always be important, and I am grateful for all your work.”

                “It’s what You deserve,” I get that, Ruth examined Martha’s face, He deserves the welcome of a Messiah.

                “Your intentions are good, but only one thing is truly necessary. The best way to serve Me is to pay attention to My words. Mary has done that, today. It is a good portion, and it will not be taken from her.”

                “Taken?”

                “Your food, your serving, they’re wonderful, but hey will pass away with the rest of this world. My words will never pass away. Mary has chosen something eternal.” He turned to the group, “I want you to hear this clearly: I do not rebuke Martha. Acts of service are important, action is good.” He turned to Martha, “But I do not want these acts to distract you from being present with Me. I invite you to something better- to sit at My feet and devour My words, which are more nourishing than actual food.”

                He smiled at the group, “That being said, I don’t want to waste Martha’s amazing food. So, if you all got the lesson, let’s thank her and eat.” They all clapped for Martha. Jesus took the first bite, “Mmm, wonderful.”  Only then did Ruth realize that half of them didn’t have food.

                “Uhm?” Andrew poked his head out from a pillar, “I like wonderful?” Andrew!

                Lazarus got up, “I will bring in the rest.”

                “I’ll help you,” Peter followed.

                They came back, and Lazarus held up a tray. “Alright, who didn’t get one?”

                “I didn’t,” Big James quickly wiped the crumbs from his mouth. Peter glared at him. “It was a very small piece.”

                “No, come over here first!” Andrew laughed, “James, I’ll fight you to the death.” He said with mock seriousness.

                “What about me?” Ruth joked, “it’s been scientifically proven that people named Ruth bat Barnabas need more nourishment than others.”

                “Says who?”

                “I do!”

                The room dissolved into laughter. Later, once the eating was over, they pulled out the musical instruments and sang. Ruth got the tambourine, which she didn’t know how to use very well. Every beat she tapped was in the wrong place. But she knew this room, among these people, was where she belonged. And she never wanted any of it to change.

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                “Judas!” The next morning, Ruth set out to find the man. It was somewhat difficult, in the large house. Finally, she found him hiding in the shadow of the staircase. “I need money.”

                “As usual.” He gave a world-weary sigh, “How much, and what for?”

                “Hanukkah presents! I made Mary a veil, but I need to get Tamar a blanket and Andrew a jar of olive oil.”

                “Wh- why?”

                “Tamar always says the north is too cold for her, and Andrew hasn’t stopped raving about the olive oil since we got here.”

                Judas counted the coins in the bag, “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ll have enough. You’ll have to think of something else.”

                She crossed her arms, “Well, that’s annoying.” I thought last time I checked we had enough. Has Joanna’s gift already run out? An idea formed in her mind. “What if I did… this?” She made her eyes wide and sad, and her lips turned down.  Sad faces always work.

                “No.”

                “Aw, come on!”  

                “Sorry.” He shrugged, “If you’re set on those presents, you’ll have to barter for them.”

                “But I’ve never bartered before,” she argued. “By myself, anyway.” There was that time with John, James, and Thomas. But I kind of ran off in the middle of it.

                “You love arguing, right? It’s like arguing for the best price.”

                “But that’s not nice. The shopkeepers have to make a living, after all.”

                He rolled his eyes, “I don’t think one bargain is going to kill their business.”

                “Well, it might. And then it’ll be my fault, and then I’ll be sad.”

                “If that happens,” he said in deadpan, already turning to do other things, “come back to me.”

                “I will!” she grumbled. She ran to her bag to see what she brought. There were a couple figs, one spare veil- but nothing that would get her all that she needed. Slumping down on the bed in her room, she thought and thought…and thought. No brilliant plan came to mind.

                “There you are!” Mary of Bethany ran in, holding a bunch of pillows. “I was wondering, could you help me decide what to do with these? They’re so beautiful, but Martha says we need to get rid of them. As you’ve probably guessed, we have far too many pillows.” She held them up- they were richly embroidered, and tassels hung on their ends. “I figured you’d know what to do with them.”

                Ruth sat up on the bed and grinned, “I do.” She took one of the pillows and examined it, “Could I possibly… sell these? I want to barter for Andrew and Tamar’s Hannukah presents, but it seems I have only fruit.” She contemplated the contents of her bag, it’s so weird being poor. If I was at home, I could’ve just bought what I needed. But I’m not at home.

                “Of course! And here I was, just going to throw them away.” She beamed, “I’ll get you a bag for these, and more.”

                Soon enough, Ruth had a bag full of seven embroidered pillows. These will get me more than enough for the blanket and oil. I might even have enough left over to get a few sheets of parchment. She began to find her way out of Lazarus’s massive house, with Mary’s help.

                “Ruth?” Tamar asked, looking up from her conversation with Martha, “What are you doing?”

                Ruth searched her mind for an excuse. There wasn’t one. “Uhm, committing a crime?” That was a horrible excuse!

                To Ruth’s eternal gratitude, Tamar laughed. “Ah, Ruth, I love your sense of humor. Alright, don’t tell me.”

                As they walked out of the house, Mary instructed her, “Alright, first place we’ll go is the carpenter. He loves pillows. That’ll get us about three chairs, and two chairs will get us a blanket. One chair will get us a coat, and a coat will get us the jar!”

                “Wow, you’ve got this all figured out.” Ruth picked up the bag of pillows, making sure it wouldn’t drag in the street.

                “I love the markets here. And everyone is so nice, too!” She waved at those in their booths as they went by. “I don’t blame Andrew. The oil here is worth dreaming of!” They walked to the first stall, which smelled richly of wood. “Shalom, Elisha!”

                Elisha nodded, “Shalom. I see you’ve brought pillows with you.”

                “Yes, seven of them. And they’re exactly the textile you like- woven in Egypt!”

                “Hmm, Egypt, you say? What do you want for them?”

                “Whatever you have to offer.”

                The time whirled into a flurry of stalls and bartering. Ruth thought her back would explode from the heavy wooden chairs she carried for the past half mile. But eventually, she got her blanket. She even got a couple stray pieces of parchment. Their last stop was the oil vendor.

                “Shalom, Simeon,” Mary greeted the vendor. “What do you have for us today?”

                Simeon beamed, “My wife has been hard at work carving and glazing these jars. I have new designs, from Noah to Jael.”

                Ruth breathed out a laugh, “Pretty sure we don’t want Jael.” She ran her hand along the jars, taking in all the colors and shapes. These have got to be some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. One caught her eye- God, raising the dry bones to life in front of Elijah. Bright beams of yellow radiated from the top of the jar, representing God. The bones were a stark white against the black background. What she dwelled on the most were the people- not colored literally, the people were brilliant shades of red, blue, purple, and green. “That one,” she pointed at it.

                He took the jar from its place on the display and filled it with oil, “A fantastic choice! I noticed its beauty as well, and almost took it off the shelf. But I’m glad it now has a home.”

                Mary put the jar in the bag, wrapping the blanket around it so the presents were both out of sight and safe. “Thank you!” she waved to Simeon as they walked back to the house. “Wow,” she examined the top of the jar, “these are amazing. You must really love your friends.”

                “I do.” Ruth beamed, “I really do.”

                “Oh, Ruth and Mary,” Andrew greeted them as they walked through the door, “I didn’t know you all were out.” He looked at the bag, “What were you doing?”

                “Committing crime!” she said hurriedly as she ran up the stairs to her room.

                “What?”

                “Crime!”

                Late that night, Ruth laid in her bed and contemplated her day. This is the first time I’ve gotten presents for so many people, and I couldn’t be happier. She rolled onto her back, trying to get comfortable. It had been a while since she had a real bed to sleep in. I can’t describe how much I love it, being a disciple. I couldn’t bear doing anything else. And to think- three years ago, my world was so different! I was sixteen, not nineteen, then. And I was much sillier. But then, Jesus came into my world and-

                She sat straight up in bed. “Jesus!” she exclaimed.

                “Hm?” Mary Magdalene asked sleepily.

                “I forgot to get a present for Jesus!”   

Chapter Text

                What do I get Him?? What could a Messiah possibly need? She pondered this as the group packed their things and walked toward Jerusalem. “Little James?” she stayed still a couple paces so Little James could catch up to her, then walked in step with him. “You’ve known Jesus the longest. What would you suggest getting Him for Hannukah? I was thinking… dried figs.”

                “You can’t do that,” John chimed in, “I already got Him dried figs.”

                “First of all, I was talking to Little James. Second of all, you took my idea!”

                “Should’ve thought of it sooner, then.” He shrugged and continued walking.

                “I got Him a leather strap for His bag. I noticed that one of the straps was broken.” Little James offered. “You could get Him… uhm… carving tools?”

                “Can’t.” Peter heard their conversation and interrupted, “I already got Him carving tools.”

                “Would you guys stop taking all the good ideas?” Ruth asked with half-joking frustration. “It’s fine, it’s fine. I’m sure there are lots of things I could get Him. Like… a bunch of pistachios!”

                “Already got Him that,” Nathanael said as he took a locust off of a nearby tree.

                “A necklace with a compartment to store a scrap of Torah?” She offered. Andrew silently raised his hand. “Andrew bar Jonah!”

                “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “It was a great idea though, wasn’t it?”

                “Fantastic.” She clicked her tongue in thought, “spare prayer tassels? In case the ones He has get frayed?” Matthew ducked his head. “How dare you all be so smart?”

                “Maybe you could draw Him something,” Little James suggested. “I’ve seen you practice with your left hand.”

                “I’m nowhere near my former skill, and I don’t think I ever will be. Besides, I don’t think Jesus would want a bunch of scribbles.”

                “I don’t know,” he shrugged, “Just think about it.”

                “Alright, I’ll think about it.” Ruth squinted at Jerusalem as they walked toward it. Its towering buildings stood out among the mountains, and colored flags flapped from some windows. If she really focused, she could just make out the top of the temple. Though she saw it three times a year, even that wasn’t enough for her. I can see why King David chose such a place. It’s the most beautiful city I’ve ever seen. And look at those buildings- the architecture, and the clouds right behind it... “That’s it!” she snapped her fingers suddenly, startling everyone within her immediate vicinity.

                “What’s it?” Mary asked.

                “I’m going to draw Jerusalem!”

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                “Shhh,” Ruth shushed as her left hand scratched upon the parchment, “I’m drawing.”

                Mary let out a laugh, “My dear friend, I was not speaking.”

                “Oh. Sorry.”  She glanced at Jerusalem again, trying to take in everything she could of the massive city. Mary had agreed to leave their rented house and go to the city walls with her. Romans watched the duo with suspicion, their swords ready at their sides. Nice try, Ruth thought as she drew the arching entryways, I’m not going to put you in my drawing.

                Mary looked over her shoulder, “Wow, Ruth, you’re doing so great! I can almost feel the city come alive.”

                “Thank you, though usually I am much better than this.” she smudged, erased, and redrew one spot over and over again, still not satisfied with it. Though she had no color to work with, she tried to make Jerusalem seem like it was exuding light. After all, this city does have the temple, where the presence of God visits. So, I better get it right! I wonder… will this be like a picture of His hometown? Because it’s where His Father’s earthly home is. I don’t know, that whole idea still confuses me.

                “Alright, I’m done with preliminary sketches.” Ruth declared, packing up the small piece of wood she used as an easel. She waved the paper in the air, careful to let the drips of ink dry. “Let’s go back.” On their way, they passed by a sign hammered to a post.

                “Hmm, what does this say?” Mary walked near it and read. Her face paled, and she quickly scooched closer to Ruth protectively. Curious, Ruth went up and gripped the paper. Oh.

                Jesus of Nazareth, son of Joseph, has committed the crimes of blasphemy and claiming to be the Son of God. Any information about Jesus of Nazareth is to be reported to a rabbi or priest. If one happens upon him, he is to turn Jesus in immediately. Any followers of this man are permanently excommunicated from temple or synagogue grounds.  

                “We already knew about this from Shula and Barnaby,” Mary wrapped her veil closer around herself, “it’s just… shocking to see it in person.”

                Ruth said nothing, simply walking faster to the house. You already know what happens next, a voice clamored inside her head.

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                “After Alexander, son of Philip the Macedon,” Jesus began His narration on the first day of Hannukah with a grin, “whom some have taken to calling ‘the Great’, but whom we call-“

                “The Worst!” Ruth cheerfully chimed in with the other disciples.

                Andrew, as Alexander, jumped out from the other room and growled. They booed him with enthusiasm, and Jesus continued His tale. John, Thaddeus and Little James took the stage, all to be defeated by the mighty Alexander. Ruth couldn’t help but laughing as she saw their over-dramatized sword fighting.

                “Alexander fell sick, and so he divided his kingdoms among his most favored rulers.” Jesus held back a chuckle as He spoke, “Then, he died.” Andrew went stiff and fell backwards, complete with a most honorable death cry of ‘blehhhhhhhhhhh!’ “From there came a sinful root, Antiochus Epiphanes.” They all booed. “Antiochus hated Israel and God. He attacked Jerusalem on the Sabbath, knowing the Jews would not fight back.” Rude.

                “He went into the temple and defiled it by slaughtering a pig on the altar, sprinkling its blood on the Holy of Holies, and poured the swine’s broth onto the Torah scrolls, which were then shredded and burned.” He cued the disciples in,

                “The Abomination of Desolation,” they said in unison.

                The time for presents had finally come. Ruth counted her boxes and packages over and over again, making sure nothing was missing. She gave the veil to Mary, who fawned over it like nothing she had ever seen before. Though knots in the thread were visible and loose threads hung off every other row, Mary treated it like it had been made by the king’s weavers. Matthew also seems to like it, too, Ruth observed with a small grin as Mary donned the veil. Don’t think I don’t see your doe-eyed face glancing at her from across the room.

                Tamar adored her blanket, already wrapping it around herself in the warm room. “I love it!” she proclaimed as she watched Ruth open her own gift. Ruth opened the box, revealing a small gold necklace. She thanked Tamar profusely and ran over to Andrew.

                “You open yours first,” Andrew insisted.

                “No way, you open yours first!” she argued. She put the crate which had the jar of oil on the table. He slid the small box which held her gift toward her.

                “Ladies first.”

                “Apostles first!”

                Finally, they decided they’d open them both at the same time. Andrew couldn’t stop talking about the jar of oil and the beautiful design that adorned it. Ruth put her earrings in immediately. They were the same earrings that she had sold months before in Capernaum. He’s seriously a mind reader, Ruth shook her head with a grin as she walked over to Jesus, how did he know that I’ve been missing those earrings?

                “Ah, Ruth, it’s good that you’re here.” Jesus grinned as He set a package on the table, “I have something for you.”

                “You didn’t have to get me anything, You’ve already given me everything!”

                “I know, and thank you. But I got something anyway.” He winked.

                “You spoil me so,” she rolled the parchment toward Him, “Here, open Yours first!”

                “A drawing, hm?” He picked up the parchment curiously, “So, you took Matthew’s recommendation.”

                “How did You- nevermind. I should really stop asking that. Yes, I did. I’ve been practicing with my left hand.” She leaned forward as He carefully unfurled the ribbon and looked at the picture of Jerusalem in all its glory.

                “It’s… beautiful.” A glimmer of tears came to His eyes. He took it all in, as if the city itself would flee past Him if He looked away. He examined every line, every building turned to face the drawing of Him. Ruth had tried to make the city welcoming, a magical place free of people wanting to kill them. “My Storm Girl, you truly have outdone yourself.”

                “Aw, Rabbi,”

                “I will keep it for the rest of My days.” He took the ribbon and the parchment, rolling it up carefully. He grabbed His bag, tying the ribbon to a strap. “There, now it will be with Me wherever I go.” He glanced at the roll, “I love it. You’ve drawn Jerusalem as it should be.”

                “What do You mean?” She tilted her head. I drew it without Romans, if that’s what You mean.  

                “The way you drew it, it seems… like what David originally intended the city for. These days, you don’t see much of that.”

                “I don’t understand whatsoever.”

                He smiled sadly, “You will, soon. Now, time for your present.” He presented her with a somewhat squishy package wrapped in a rug. She threw off the rug eagerly and revealed a huggable sheep stuffed animal.

                “Oh, look at him!” she exclaimed as she examined the sheep who had stitches for eyes, “his name shall be… Abednego.”

                “Abednego, eh?”

                “Abed for short,” she clarified, “Abed bar Ruth.” She held the sheep upon her head, “Yep, it’s official. Abednego bar Ruth is now mine.” She beamed, “Thank you, Rabbi. For everything, not just Abed.”

                “You’re very welcome,” He grinned, looking at her, then the happy scene around them. The room was a chaotic mixture of present openings, hugs, and laughs. He took it all in, then turned serious. “Ruth, I have a question for you.”

                “Yeah, go ahead.”

                “Will you follow Me?”

                She squinted, “Rabbi, it’s about three years too late for that question.”

                “Answer anyway.”

                “Alright. Yes, of course I’ll follow You. To the ends of the earth and back. Wherever You go, I’ll go.”

                “Will you follow Me into Jerusalem?”

                “Yes, if we’re making a pilgrimage there.” She tilted her head, “Why wouldn’t I follow You into Jerusalem?”

                “Do You remember My words?”

                “I try to remember all Your words,” she chuckled, “so You’re going to have to be more specific.”

                “You know the instance. And you’re going to have to figure out what I meant for yourself. Although,” He gave a sad smile, “you’re a smart girl, Ruth. I think you’ve already figured it out.”

                “Wh- what? I don’t get it.” You already know what happens nex- She artificially brightened her voice as she stood and walked away, “Happy Hannukah, Rabbi. I’m going to introduce Mary to her new sheep-nephew. Thank You for everything.”

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                On the third day of Hannukah, Jesus began, “I have an announcement. On the final day of the Feast, we will make a pilgrimage into the Holy City. I will give a teaching.” Yes, another teaching in public! I haven’t seen one of those in so long. In fact, He hasn’t given a public sermon since… oh. The room went completely silent, probably thinking what she was thinking. “Is that bad news?”

                “No, Rabbi,” Peter assured, “it’s good.”

                “It’s great, yeah! Looking forward to it.” Andrew added with some nervousness.

                Mary smiled peacefully, “I’m sure it will be wonderful.”

                Thomas said after a period of silence, “Rabbi, it was not great or good or wonderful the last time You gave a sermon among religious leaders. I do not think the ruling class of priests will find Your teaching favorable any time soon.” The room went silent again, contemplating the possibilities. “We should be prepared.” Prepared for what? The loss of another friend? That is certainly not something I want to be prepared for. With that, Thomas got up and walked away. Peter went to follow him, but Jesus held up a hand.

                “Well,” Jesus began. Please, Rabbi, offer some explanation, some promise that things will go differently! Take away this feeling of dread I’ve had that I can’t place. I have unwavering faith in You, You know that. I just… want some answers.  “This has certainly been a festival night that I will never forget. Thank you all.” With a chuckle, He walked up the stairs and went to bed. …What?

                The previous mood of the evening returned, and while Ruth had fun, she couldn’t shake the bad feeling around her back. What if Thomas is right? What if… it goes the same as last time? She watched as Mary and Tamar took their own turn at arm wrestling. Who could I lose next? One of them? Peter? John? Andrew? My Rabbi Himself?

                What will happen when I follow Him into Jerusalem?

Chapter Text

                On day six of the Feast, Ruth sat in the shade picking apart vegetables for their meal. Everyone silently worked, and she found comfort in the routine of it. Judas disturbed the peace by declaring loudly, “Everyone, I have an idea! What if we set up donation points in the various villages we visit?” Why in the world would we do that?

                “Who would manage the funds abroad,” Matthew asked as he carried a giant armful of wheat, “and how would they get them to us?”

                “In every place we’ve gone,” he continued with excitement, “Jesus has made a special connection with at least one person- sometimes even hundreds. We could collect upon visitations.”

                Nathanael stopped his work and turned to Judas, “Yeah, I still don’t get it.”

                Judas continued like he hadn’t heard, “We could appoint a person in every village who could spread the word to others who believe in the message of our Rabbi! We could tell them that if they want to support the work of the Messiah they can, by gathering aid for Him so He’s well supported when He comes into town!”

                Great idea, Ruth looked up at him with a squint, I’m pretty sure Jesus would’ve told us if that’s what He wanted. Philip asked, “If Jesus wanted us to set this up, wouldn’t He have asked us to do so?” Thank you, Philip!

                “If we had this set up,” he got frustrated, as if the rest of the disciples were the crazy ones, “we wouldn’t be thrashing and winnowing our own wheat! We wouldn’t be peeling our own vegetables!” He gestured grandly toward the women.

                “I don’t know,” Ruth shrugged, “I kind of like it.” After that, everyone continued their work, basically ignoring him. Mary and Little James offered Judas some advice, but Ruth had gone back to her work. She heard none of it.

                Finally, the meal was prepared! Ruth, Tamar, and Mary grabbed twelve plates and served the apostles first. John and Peter pitched in, getting everyone’s cups. Ruth sat on a small bench, eating her fill. “So,” she asked, “What was with Jesus going to bed so suddenly last night? It seemed like everything was fine, and then He went away early in the evening.” 

                 Peter said quietly, “Lazarus is sick.”

                “What?” she responded loudly, getting the attention of the courtyard. She continued more quietly, “but we just saw him!”

                “We did. And yet, he’s sick.”

                “Very sick,” Matthew corrected solemnly. “The letter said very sick.”

                “Very sick? Do we need to…” she lowered her voice to a worried whisper, “go to Bethany? To see him?”

                “Jesus said it is not the sickness that leads to death,” Andrew shrugged, “So I think Lazarus will be fine. Jesus seemed distressed, though.”

                “Well, even someone who knows everything would be distressed if His friend is very sick.” At that point, John went over to talk to Judas. “What was Judas’s idea about, earlier, anyway?” She wondered.

                Peter chuckled, “Don’t judge too much, Ruth. You’ve had worse ideas.”

                “I’m not judging, I’m just asking. Judas has been acting weird, lately.” She squinted, recounting the last few days, “in Bethany, he wouldn’t let me have any money to buy Andrew and Tamar’s presents.” She thought for a couple seconds, shrugged, then said, “Maybe he thought I still had money from my abba.”

                Mary looked up in surprise at this, “You’re not receiving anything from your abba, anymore?”

                “Why not?” Andrew asked at the same time.

                “It’s a long story.” Ruth held up a hand, “Anyway, it’s just weird.”

                “I agree.” Matthew nodded, thinking deeply. “He has been acting… odd, lately. I had an argument with him the other day. Well, I wouldn’t call it an argument, but he seemed quite perturbed with me. And I am not quite sure why.” He frowned, mulling the incident over. The look on his face told Ruth that the incident had hurt his feelings more than he let on.

                “If Judas isn’t treating you correctly, I’ll talk to him.” Ruth said ‘talk to him’, but she really meant ‘yell at him, get into an argument with him, threaten to throw pomegranates in his face, and the like.’

                “Please do not do that.”

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                The eighth day of the Feast came. Ruth impatiently said the usual words as they sat around the table, fidgeting to go into Jerusalem. Finally, they stood up and grabbed their bags. Thomas sat at the table, arms folded. I know, Thomas. She glanced at him, making sure John got him. But I trust Jesus enough to know that He won’t let it happen today. Wait, she squinted, realizing she hadn’t thought of this before. Will it happen today? Nah.

                As they got on the raft to go across the Jordan, Ruth mentioned unhelpfully, “Fun fact, I can’t swim.”

                “That is not a fun fact,” Tamar frowned.

                “It’s alright,” Andrew said confidently, arms crossed, “because I can swim.”

                “Oooh, I can swim,” Peter repeated quietly in a high mocking voice, “I’ll save you, Ruth.”

                “You be quiet.”

                As they walked toward Jerusalem, they reached a stone marker denoting the city. Below the Latin word, in small red script, some Hebrew words stood out. Jesus…is…Messiah, Ruth read to herself. So, not everyone in Jerusalem has lost their mind! The group burst through the city gates, seeing the heart of the city. Pharisees and rabbis walked all around them, discussing things and praying aloud. Before them stood the temple, stone pillars bursting from the earth.

                The least notable thing in the whole scene was a tiny sheep pen that stood before the temple, containing loudly baa-ing sheep and goats. Hmm, Ruth examined the loud, smelly creatures, I think I like Abed more. Jesus leaned against the pen and began, “Listen carefully. He who does not enter the sheepfold by the door climbs in another way.” Uhm… yes, he sure does! He goes over the gate. “That man is a thief and a robber.”

                 The rabbis near the pen perked their ears up and listened with suspicion. Ruth saw a look of curiosity wash over their faces. Better watch out for those guys, she thought as she took notice of them. Jesus continued, “But He who enters by the door is the Shepherd of the sheep. The sheep hear His voice, and He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out.” Shepherd… like David’s psalm! So, God is the Shepherd. And the door… well, God sent Jesus to the sheep of Israel. So, the door must be Jesus.

                “Very good,” a voice rang through her head. Ruth bit down her smile and continued listening. “When He has brought out all His own, He goes before them, and the sheep follow Him, for they know His voice.” As He talked, He walked around the pen, and the Pharisees followed Him with their gazes. Jesus walked up to the temple steps and sat down with as much comfort as if He sat down on His favorite chair. “They won’t follow a stranger, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” 

                “I’m not sure I follow this,” Nathanael squinted. Ruth attempted to tamper down her proud grin even more. I follow it.

                “Yeah, this figure of speech You’re using,” Peter asked, “could You say it more plainly? We want to understand.”

                “I understand,” Ruth muttered so that only Mary heard her.

                “Hmm,” Jesus nodded, taking this all into consideration, “Okay. This is important,” He began to speak louder, “I am the door of the sheep. All who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but My sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved; he will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy.”

                Ruth, though she listened attentively, couldn’t help but notice that the Pharisees from before were no longer there. She tracked the path of one and saw him hurriedly speaking to another. Oh, no. This better not be about what I think it’s about. Across the square, she saw a hand pointing directly at their group. Okay, it is what I thought.

                “I came so that they may have life, and have it abundantly,” Jesus spoke with conviction, ignoring the storm beginning to brew. “I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down His life for His sheep.” Oh, so He’s a gate and a shepherd. I think I understand, still? “He who is a hired hand is not a shepherd. When he sees the wolf coming, he will flee and abandon the sheep, and the wolf will snatch them and scatter them.” The poor sheep! “He flees because he is a hired hand, and cares nothing for the sheep.”

                “I am the Good Shepherd. I know My own, and My own know Me, just like I know the Father, and the Father knows Me. I am the Good Shepherd, and I lay down My life for the sheep. And I have other sheep that are not of this fold, and I must bring them also. They will listen to My voice.”

                “Other sheep not of this fold?” An angry-sounding Pharisee behind them asked. “Are you talking about Gentiles?” Oh no, not the Gentiles! Give me a break. Of course He’s talking about the Gentiles.

                Jesus merely paused for breath before continuing, “So there will be one flock, one Shepherd. For this reason, the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it up again.” Again, with this ‘lay down My life’ metaphor? I don’t understand why He keeps using it.

                “That’s not real,” Another religious leader but in, “there is no resurrection.”

                A religious leader next to him added, “At least not one that any man could have the authority to enact on himself, once perished.”

                “Someone has to go get Shammai immediately!”

                “He’s gone for the holiday.”

                As Jesus continued, Ruth tried to keep her ears only on His words. He said, “No one takes My life from Me, but I lay it down of My own accord.” Maybe He’s talking about His ministry. That certainly constitutes a large portion of His life. “I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from My Father.”

                A number of angry shouts came from the religious leader peanut gallery. Meanwhile, Ruth was trying to figure out what Jesus’s words meant. What charge? What do You mean, You have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again? Judas cut through their shouts, “Will you be quiet?! We are trying to listen to our Rabbi!” Yeah, get ‘em!

                “Those are not the teachings of any credible Rabbi,” the religious leader retorted, “but an insane person!” Excuse me?! Ruth’s jaw ticked, and if she hadn’t known better by now, she would’ve tried to punch another Pharisee.

                 “Mark my words,” Judas said with quiet anger, “you will regret saying that.”

                “Watch your mouth,” another religious leader stepped in. Goodness, they’re surrounding us like vultures! “you’re speaking to a member of the Great Sanhedrin!”

                “Judas,” Peter said with calm authority, “get back here. You’re missing all the details.” Judas walked back to the circle of disciples, though clearly not happy about the whole thing.

                Jesus finished that section of His teaching. With a face set in a stern line, He stood up and walked up the stairs into the temple, disciples following. They walked through the outer part of the temple, flanked by pillars. Ruth let her eyes take in every bit- she had never been so close to the temple before. And just about sixty cubits away is the actual presence of God, she realized with wonder. She glanced at Jesus, who led their party, though, I think for three years I have been closer than sixty cubits.

                “You!” Yet another religious leader stopped their journey. They all turned around to face a group of them, “You’re Jesus of Nazareth, aren’t You?”

                Jesus stepped forward, walking through the disciples to face the religious leaders directly. Oh, this is going to be so cool.

                “How long will you keep us in suspense?” One, wearing a rabbi’s garb, asked somewhat nervously. “If You are the Christ, tell us plainly!”

                “I did tell you, and you did not believe.” Jesus stated.

                “When? When did You tell us?” Another asked. What do you mean, ‘when’? Did you not hear the whole sheep parable that just happened?

                “Blasphemer!” Came the shout of another.

                “The works I do in My Father’s name bear witness about Me,” He continued, undeterred, “but you do not believe, because you are not among My sheep.” Oooh, that will get them mad.

                “You would offer such a profanation,” the rabbi from before bit out accusingly, What’s a profanation? “amid the pillars of Solomon’s porch?! Have You no shame?”

                “My sheep hear My voice,” He gestured to His disciples, “and I know them, and they follow Me.”

                One religious leader said to another, “He just said that He is the Christ, and that we did not believe!” Uhm, yeah…He did. I’m happy that you’re keeping track of this conversation. “This blasphemy is enough for capital punishment, and we are on temple grounds!” Capital punishment? What’s that…oh. Ohhhh no. Hey, Jesus, do You think now is a good time to get out of here?  “Stones, we need stones!”

                “Stones?” Zee asked. From there, everyone was thrown into barely controlled chaos. Jesus still spoke, but Ruth couldn’t really pay attention to His words when those in front of them were collecting rocks. He still continued yelling in a loud voice, even as the leaders held stones within their fists. Zee and Peter went to Jesus, flanking Him in an attempt to protect Him.

                Jesus declared with a defiant lift of His head, “I and the Father are one.”

                At that, the rabbi’s arm exploded into anger. He hurled the stone at Jesus, and it sailed through the sky. Time went at a sickeningly slow pace, but at the same time it went much too fast. Mary grabbed Ruth’s back and pushed it toward the ground, effectively ducking for both of them.

                “James!” John shouted, and the sound reverberated off the pillars. Big James hit the ground hard in front of her.

                And yet, while chaos stormed around them, Jesus still bantered with the Pharisees. “You stone Me because I said, ‘I am the Son of God’?” He asked, almost in disbelief.

                “In accordance with the Law of Moses,” was the reply.

                He chuckled, “You know little of the Law of Moses.”

                “Arrest Him!”

                The stones came quicker. Peter and Zee pushed in front of Jesus, shielding Him with their bodies. Jesus continued, “From My good works, you should understand that the Father is in Me and I am in the Father!” At that, the religious leaders pushed forward, no longer using stones, but their bodies. While Peter and Zee held them back, the back part of the group started running. Eventually, Peter and Zee came with them, leaving an angry hoard of Pharisees in the temple.

                They half-walked, half-ran across the roads. The two miles from Jerusalem to their rented house had never seemed such a long distance. As they walked the paths away from the city, Zee saw a cart coming from the other direction. “Off! Off the road!” He shouted. They all scurried down a long valley.

                Finally, the reached the Jordan. They just had to cross this, and then they’d be alright. Big James was still bleeding, but they could work on him. I can’t swim. Ruth realized as she jumped into the shallow end of the Jordan. The marshy reeds grabbed at her toes, sensing her sudden fear. Adonai, why didn’t I ever learn how to swim? I live right by the Sea of Galilee, for Moses’s sake! She took three steps forward, the water coming up to her waist. Another three steps, and the water came up to her neck.

                My height hasn’t offered me any advantages, she considered as she took another step, coughing up the water that filled her mouth. Most of the group ran ahead of her. Just one more step. She took a deep breath, and her head went under the water. The bottom of the river dipped below her, leaving her suspended. I know from Matthew that this water is only seven cubits deep. But seven cubits can be deadly if you don’t know how to swim.

                Though it was only twelve seconds that she floundered under water, trying and failing to swim, it felt like twelve years. Rabbi? She called out to Him, like a child asking for her abba. Water filled her ears and her mind and passed through her. Her lungs ached for a breath of air. She thought of darkness and light. She thought of death and the shadow it left, tasting its murky blackness.

                And suddenly, she knew. The realization pulsed through her, like she had been struck by lightning. It punched her in the gut, knocking her bones together. I know what happens next.

                “Ruth!” A muffled voice came from the surface of the water. Strong arms dipped into the river. Just like that, she returned to life again, greeted by a very concerned-looking Andrew, with Mary at his side. “You okay?”

                “Water’s nice,” Ruth commented between gasps of air, “Refreshing. You should try it sometime.”

                Mary instructed, “Hang on to me.” Ruth hung on, and together they somehow made it to dry land. From there, it was only half a mile to their rented house. The group barged into the door. John blew out the candles and set them on another table. Peter and Jesus laid Big James on the dining table, and from there they began to work on him.

                Most of the disciples scurried around Big James, keeping him warm and placing clothes on his head. What if it happens agai- Ruth, shut up. Ruth bit the inside of her cheek as she and Nathanael placed more wood on the fire. She glanced at Thomas, who wasn’t doing well. His chest rose and fell on the verge of complete panic.

                 “We need more wood!” she exclaimed as she ran out of wood from the pile.

                Nathanael added, “We need to dry these clothes before we catch our deaths.”

                Though there was very little wood, somehow, the fire kept burning. It’s our very own Hannukah miracle, she thought wryly as she shrugged off her outer vest and put it by the fire. Every bit of her was thoroughly soaked, and she shivered from the cold.

                “That was terrifying,” Andrew’s voice shook as he finally took a seat at the table. “How are we supposed to go back there?”

                “Surely we’ll have to,” Tamar observed quietly.

                As the work on James continued, Zee heard a noise outside. Everyone fell silent as he checked the door. “It’s Zebedee.” Zee declared. Zebedee barged in, going to see his son.

                During the chaos, Mary said something which no one could hear.  Ruth looked up, and Mary gripped a letter in her hand. Behind her, Jesus sat in the corner in shock.  “Listen, everyone!” Ruth shouted, and it came out more harshly than she had intended. It did the job, and everyone went still.  “Mary, what did you say?”

                “Lazarus has died,” Mary repeated quietly.

                Peter stepped forward and said solemnly, “Rabbi, may God give You comfort among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.” He added tentatively, “But… I thought You said that his sickness wouldn’t lead to death.”

                Jesus raised His head slightly, “We will go back across the Jordan, into Judea.” …What? You mean, the place we just ran from?!

                “Rabbi, they just tried to stone You there.”

                Andrew asked, “You would go back there?”

                “It’s not safe.” Zee added.

                Matthew suggested, “Perhaps they would agree that we should delay our coming a few days.”

                “Our friend has fallen asleep,” Jesus stated simply, “but I will go and wake him up.”

                “Wait, he’s just asleep?” Ruth blurted out. “What did the note say?”

                “If he’s asleep, he will recover.” Judas nodded. “There’s no need to put you at risk.”

                Big James asked from the table with a massive grin, “Asleep like that little girl?” What little girl? Ruth looked to John, Peter, then back at Big James. Is this the thing that no one would tell me about?

                 Peter glanced at Big James hurriedly then turned to Jesus, “Rabbi, tell us what You intend to do.”

                “Lazarus has died,” Jesus began, “but for your sake I’m glad I was not there, so that you may believe.” Uh, what? “You’re about to be given firmer grounds on which to believe.”  

                “What does his death have to do with our belief?” Matthew tilted his head.

                “Come with Me,” Jesus stood up, “and you will see. Everyone, put on dry clothes. The sun is almost up.”

                “I suppose that if we are to go into Judea, Lazarus’s house is the best place to go,” Thomas said solemnly, “so that we may die with him.” Okay, then! Thomas picked up his bag and went to change, and everyone else followed. Mary spoke with Jesus, and afterward Jesus began to ascend the staircase that led to His room.

                “Rabbi?” Ruth caught up to Him. She wrestled with the words on her lips, but even she could not deny it anymore. “It’s… not a metaphor, is it?”

                “No,” He shook His head.

                “I’m sorry it isn’t.”

                “I know.”

Chapter Text

                Deep rivers filled Ruth’s mind as they journeyed to Bethany. Lazarus is dead, she contemplated, and Jesus will die. I know that now. I wish I never knew. She looked at the road beyond, wondering what it would bring. Abed bounced along in her backpack, blissfully unaware of their present state. I hate knowing what happens next.

                Jesus’s words to her came back to circle her brain, “Will you follow Me into Jerusalem?”

                Of course, she decided, even if it means I die too. Where He goes, I go. Doesn’t mean I like it.

                I mean, she argued with the river and the grass and the mountains, why does He even have to die, anyway? I don’t get it! He’s the Messiah! He’s supposed to follow the three-step plan: go around and show signs that He’s the Messiah, throw off the oppression of Rome, and then lead Israel happily ever after. So why, she looked toward the heavens, where her true quarrel laid, does He have to die?! And when? And how? 

                Peter’s voice startled her, “Heard what happened in the Jordan yesterday.” He said with a somewhat goading voice. “Heard that you were saved by…” When he saw her sullen face, he trailed off.

                “I almost drowned,” she completed. “And then I didn’t.”

                “Are you alright?”

                “No, but not because I almost drowned.”

                He glanced toward Jesus, who led their group. Jesus walked slower than usual, like chains blocked His feet from moving freely. “I can see why.”

                “Peter, I need to ask you something.” She inhaled deeply, “is He really going to die?”

                “Well, we’re all going to die.” He stepped around the question.

                “Simon Peter!” she clenched her fists in frustration, “Is He really going to die?”

                Peter went silent for a long time. He crossed his arms and said, “Well, not if I can help it.”

                “Do you think we’re meant to fight it?”

                “I don’t know, but that’s what I’m going to do. He’s our Messiah. I’m not just going to stand by and let Him be ‘handed over to the Gentiles’, like He said.”

                She sighed, mulling this over. “I almost agree. But… remember Jotapata?”

                “This is different, Ruth. That time, He said He’d be back, and we didn’t listen. This time, He says He’s going to die. And this time,” he set his face into a grim line, “I’m listening.”

                “Alright.” She looked toward Jesus, flashes of a golden crown and golden eyes dancing behind her vision. I can’t lose Him, not now. “Then I’ll listen, too.” Even as she said the words, a feeling as small as a thread on her dress told her she was wrong.

                “Whatever it takes?”

                She lifted her head defiantly, “Whatever it takes.”

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                As they approached Bethany, Ruth looked at the arch she had seen just over a week before. Everything had changed, though the appearance of the city stayed the same.

                Martha, clothed in black, walked toward them. She had her eyes set on Jesus. In a voice that was both sad and angry she whispered, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”

                “Martha,” Jesus said quietly, like her name was a gust of wind.

                “I’m trying not to be angry that You didn’t come sooner, Lord,” her whole body shook with tears, “I’m just…”

                “Confused.” Martha nodded as Jesus spoke, “And devastated. I understand.”

                “But even now I know,” she lifted her head as her lip quivered, “that whatever You ask from God will be given to You. Whatever it is to give us hope or relief, I know You can.”

                “Martha, your brother will rise again.” …He’ll what, now?

                “I know he will rise again with all of us at the resurrection at the end of the age.” She grasped at this small hope, but Ruth could see the quiet frustration in her eyes. “That’s a long time to wait,” she added.

                “That’s not the resurrection I’m talking about,” Even through the grief, there was excitement in His voice. Like He had something better planned. Like what? …Raising the dead? Can He do that? “I am the light that overcomes death.”

                “I… don’t understand.”

                “I am the Resurrection and the Life. Whoever believes in Me, even if he dies, will live.” While Ruth tried to wrap her head around that, John pulled out his parchment and began to write furiously. “And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.” What?! Ruth tried to form some sensible thought about what she heard but failed miserably. She glanced over at Thomas. But… Ramah believed in You. What kind of not-dying are You talking about? “Do you believe this?”

                “I believe You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world. So even what I do not understand… I believe.”

                “Now that I’m here,” He continued with conviction, “physical death does not interrupt our eternal life.” Hold on, what? Eternal life? Rabbi, I’m so confused right now.

                Apparently, Martha didn’t understand either. “I believe You’re the Christ,” she repeated, “that, I know.”

                “That’s all I need for now.” He smiled gently at her, “Quickly, go and get your sister.” At His command, Martha wiped her tears and ran back into Bethany.

                Peter stepped forward, “Master, should we…”

                “We will wait here.”

                Ruth squinted up at Him, “Rabbi, what in Adonai’s green earth…” her mind backtracked quickly, seeing the grim state of affairs. She said in a gentle, respectful tone, “Forgive me, Rabbi, but are we supposed to be understanding what You’re saying?” Jesus turned toward her, looking disappointed.

                “Yeah, I must admit,” Peter added quietly, “I’m wondering the same thing.”

                Jesus sighed. After a heavy pause, He said, “I suppose not yet.”

                Another sister robed in black ran toward them. Ruth saw that it was Mary. This time, she was sobbing, not laughing. Mary collapsed on the ground before Jesus and said through gasping sobs, “Lord, if You were here, my brother would not have died!” her voice broke and cracked, and her sobs shook the earth. “We sent word! Why weren’t You here? Why didn’t You come?! Why did You wait?”

                 Mother Mary, Martha, and a group of others slowly walked toward them. Jesus turned back toward the disciples and said firmly, “I will show you why.” He turned back toward Martha and asked, “Where have you laid him?”

                “Lord, come and see.” Martha said with a steady voice that barely stayed afloat.

                Jesus turned and faced the disciples, his face set. Tell us what to do, Ruth silently pleaded, tell us where to go, and we’ll follow You. Then, He did something Ruth had never seen Him do.

                He wept.

                She watched helplessly as He collapsed on the ground, racked by sobs. Mother Mary rushed to Him, and He held on to her like she was His last lifeline. None of the disciples moved- Ruth wasn’t even sure any of them breathed. Finally, He stood up, put His arms over the sisters and His mother, and walked toward the tomb.

                Ruth had seen her Rabbi in distress before, or grieving, or even getting stoned. But she had never seen Him weep. She had always seen Him comforting, seemingly never needing to be comforted. And she wasn’t sure what to do with any of this information.

                “I’ve never seen Him like that,” Andrew remarked quietly, his voice on the edge of bursting into panic. “What did He mean?” he turned to Peter and asked, “When He said, ‘I’ll show you why’? Who was that intended for?”  

                Ruth added, “He said Lazarus wouldn’t die from his sickness.” 

                “What is happening here?”

                “Shh,” Peter put up a hand, to no avail.

                “He’s healed countless people,” Andrew continued his rant, “He’s opened the eyes of the blind. Couldn’t He keep Lazarus from dying?”

                “That’s not the point,” Ruth argued, all her nerves frayed, “the point is can He raise Lazarus from the dead?”

                “If He can, why was He weeping?”

                “I don’t know! Can Messiahs cry?”

                “I don’t know! Is He mad at us?”

                “I don’t know!” she grumbled and turned to  Peter, “and let me ask you this: if He can raise Lazarus, then why not Ra-“

                “Both of you, be quiet.” Peter was successful this time around. “We’re going to follow Him, and we’re going to see what happens. That’s our job.”

                “But-“

                “Ruth.”

                Her heart pounded in her chest. “I hate not knowing the answer,” she muttered to no one but herself. Why not Ramah? The thought hammered in her head as she walked down the valley toward the tomb. I’ve had dreams about that day. Those dreams mostly end with Jesus decking the Roman in the face and raising Ramah to life. They always make me sad when I wake up, because it wasn’t a reality. Why wasn’t it a reality?

                And why is He weeping?

                When they got to the tomb, Jesus stopped a couple feet away from it. “Take away the stone,” He commanded quietly to no one in particular. No one sprang to action. The giant circular stone stayed there, guarding the entrance to the depths. He said a little louder, “Was I unclear?”

                “Lord,” Martha began, “by this time there will be an odor. He’s been dead for four days.” Four days- past the point of no return. Baasha once told me that the soul leaves the body after three.

                Jesus said with a small smile, “Martha, surely you know that is a minor matter. Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God? Your only priority in this moment is faith.” Martha took a deep breath and nodded. Jesus addressed the group, “I say to you again, take away the stone.”

                Zee, Andrew, Peter, and Zebedee moved toward the stone. They pulled with great difficulty, removing it from the tomb. A wide opening stood where the stone was, like the mouth of Leviathan, breathing out death. Jesus stepped closer, unafraid of the mouth. “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me.” He began to pray, “I know that You always hear Me, but I said this on account of the people here, that they may believe that You sent Me.” He went silent for a couple moments, then raised His hand.

                “Lazarus, come out!”

                Come on, the seconds ticked by, seeming like hours. Nothing happened. Come on! Finally, echoing footsteps emanated from the mouth of death. A man stepped forward, covered in the white sheets of burial. Adonai, Moses, David, and the Prophets! Is that… him? She gripped Mary Magdalene; sure that she would topple over. 

                Martha and Mary rushed forward, unwrapping the bindings that covered the man’s head. They revealed a friendly face, one that Ruth had met just a couple days before. Holy. Adonai. Holy. Adonai. If I ever doubted before, I believe it now. Jesus just reversed death itself. I feel like throwing up, laughing, crying, and falling down all at once.

                She pictured how she’d draw this moment: Jesus, the great warrior. The tomb, the great dragon. And in the image, Jesus would have a sword. A great sword, the hilt covered in gold and silver. In her mind, she had already begun sketching Leviathan’s dead eyes. He is God, she grinned as the glorious realization hit her. He really is God! How, then will He die- Ruth’s brain, be quiet. The only thing that matters right now is that He stands before an empty tomb.