Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Yu and Yosuke were walking side by side as the whole Investigation Team decided to train in the TV world for the day. Nobody had been kidnapped yet, fortunately, but it didn’t mean they should just go slack off and let their skills decline over time as they solve the case. 

While Yosuke was chuckling at something Yu had said to him, his own persona suddenly flew just above him with lightning speed that made him duck and clutch onto his head using his two hands. 

But before he could even regain his composure, someone else’s persona flew right behind Jiraiya and it belonged to Yu. That officially made Yosuke lose his balance as he fell butt first into the hard ground, earning a loud groan.

“Man, Jiraiya sure is lively today.” Yosuke observed as he fixed his hair while staring at the distance, eyeing his huge persona floating in the air with Izanagi. 

Jiraiya looked as if it was smiling gleefully at Izanagi which mirrored its expression. He was still kneeling on the ground as he couldn’t seem to look away, deeply bewildered with the scene playing before him.

Yu nodded in agreement as he reached a hand to his partner urging him to get up, “Even Izanagi is pumped up too.”

The shorter of the two hesitated first before taking in the warm hand as Yu helped in hoisting him upward. Yosuke looked to be troubled by something when he casted his brown eyes downward, so Yu asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I… I don’t know but doesn’t that seem unusual for you?” Yosuke asked his partner who only tilted his head to the side in question, not really catching what the other was getting at. “What do you mean? What’s unusual?”

“Our personas, man.” The shorter of the two looked at him with exasperation, eyes looking unimpressed. Yu finally got on the same page as Yosuke when his face lit up a little. “Oh. Aren’t they usually like that though?”

“I mean,” Yosuke couldn’t seem to find the right words to completely explain what was completely bugging his mind. He had it all figured out inside of his head but he couldn’t seem to voice it out as it just sounded more complicated than it actually was. 

“Our personas are kind of moving on their own right now like they have some kind of free will. They never really did that before, didn’t they?”

That got Yu’s gears suddenly turning. Yosuke was right. Their personas never really did anything on their own unless its user gave it some commands to strictly follow, specifically orders to just fight shadows or support one another. 

And from the way Jiraiya and Izanagi were currently peculiarly behaving, Yu could get why Yosuke was worried about something like this. The two couldn’t help but to observe their personas as Jiraiya looked like it was flailing his arms around while Izanagi just eagerly nodded.

Yu and Yosuke couldn’t understand what was going on between their personas but it looked like they were having a blast just by being around each other.

“I think I’m getting where you’re coming from now.” Yu murmured, now putting a hand against his chin as he thought deeply about it. An idea popped inside of his mind suddenly, his expression seemed a little too excited to let Yosuke the plan he just came up with.

“Can we try summoning our personas back here? Let’s see if they’ll still listen to us.”

Yosuke’s face instantly brightened up as if that solution would be the answer to all their troubles regarding their current predicament. He gave his partner a wink accompanied by a thumbs-up, showcasing a toothy grin. 

“That’s a great idea, partner! As expected from you. Okay, let’s call them back on the count of three.”

“One,”

“Two,”

“Three.”

“Izanagi!” Yu shouted as he stretched one arm forward to crush his tarot card in his hand at the same time as Yosuke yelled and slashed his own arcana card, “Jiraiya!”

Just as expected, both of their personas came rushing to their aid like usual. Now, the two boys felt like they were back to square one as Jiraiya and Izanagi were still abiding by their commands. They simply slouched their backs as they both released a deep sigh in defeat.

“Maybe there is nothing wrong after all.” Yu said as he scratched his cheek using a finger, now looking up to see Izanagi swirling around a pleased-looking Jiraiya. “It’s not really uncommon for our personas to interact with one another anyway.”

Yu was right. It wasn’t like this was the first time they witnessed their own summoned personas connect with their fellow personas. Yosuke just released a sigh as he took the time to look around him, specifically eyeing the other team member’s personas.

He saw Tomoe floating right beside Konohana Sakuya, the personas just following right behind Chie and Yukiko who seemed to be immersed in their own conversations as they occasionally released some laughs and giggles. It came mostly from Yukiko though.

When he turned his head somewhere else, he saw Sukuna-Hikona sitting while swaying its tiny legs right on top of Take-Mikazuchi's broad shoulders due to its small size. Naoto and Kanji were just holding small talk but the blonde guy was following right behind with a pink blush on his cheeks, as usual.

Lasty, he saw Kintoki-Douji bouncing around Himiko as it looked like Teddie and Rise were yet in another argument he had no intention of hearing and knowing about because just their joined high-pitched voices were already making his head hurt. He decided not to acknowledge their ongoing bickering.

Yosuke just sighed in defeat. “You’re right, partner. Maybe I am just being paranoid.”

Yu simply gave him a warm smile as he placed a hand on his shoulder, “I’m pretty sure there’s nothing to worry about.”

The brunette looked at Yu’s warm smile that showcased his perfect white teeth before prompting himself to look away, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Soon, the warm hand also withdrew which made him miss the contact immediately the moment it was gone.

Yosuke didn’t understand it but he just felt very warm within his chest whenever he was around with Yu. It confused him, it scared him. The boy couldn’t understand why his pulse would quicken or why his stomach felt fluttery.

Yosuke couldn’t understand any of those at all. But he only knew one thing, he knew that he had felt this before but entirely with someone else. He couldn’t exactly recall who but the boy just knew this wasn’t his first time experiencing such complicated emotions.

His train of thought was suddenly cut off when he felt some weird phantom sensations on the top of his head. Perplexed, he looked up but there was no one near him except Yu who was just holding a questioning look.

“Are you okay, Yosuke? You’ve been acting very weird today.” Yu observed as he stopped on his tracks to eye his partner from head to toe. There was really nothing wrong with his physical appearance, it was just Yosuke's weird behavior that got him a little concerned.

Yosuke began to wave his hands right over his head as a conflicted expression filled his face, “I’m feeling this… weird, uhh, sensations all over me. Like, someone is ruffling my hair or something.”

The silver-haired boy only frowned as he just got more confused with his vague explanation. He attempted to look around hoping that some clues may present itself and he thought he found it when he caught their personas in the corner of his eye.

It was just Izanagi patting Jiraiya’s head.

“Ah.” Yu deadpanned. “I think I know now.”

Yosuke seemed a little pleased from hearing that but his expression soon fell when he looked towards the direction Yu was pointing at and it was just their personas acting all physically affectionate on one another for some reason. 

It was… definitely a sight to see. Two personas patting each other’s heads like little children. Now that was something they didn’t get to see on an everyday basis.

“Hey! Stop that!” Yosuke yelled as he brought a closed fist up in the air. Their personas looked like it flinched from surprise as it immediately scattered away from one another. Yu had to stifle a laugh from how ridiculous that looked

Izanagi flew right behind Yu with what looked like its eyes downturned, cautiously staring at Yosuke. Jiraiya soon followed, also hiding its huge body behind the silver-haired boy as its snail-like eyes drooped.

“What do you think you're doing over there?!” Yosuke yelled that made Jiraiya wince from the volume of his voice.

Whenever they fought, the persona-users always felt pain whenever their perspective personas got struck with any kind of attack whether it be a physical or a magical one. Sure, it was refreshing to feel something else other than pain but they would be lying if it didn’t feel a bit off-putting.

“Hey, Rise.” Yosuke called out to their navigator who probably was a couple of meters behind them alongside Kanji, Naoto, and Teddie as the whole team decided to split into two teams whenever they entered the TV. They can communicate telepathically thanks to Himiko’s outstanding abilities.

“Can you do one of your amazing magical scans and see if there’s something with mine and Yu’s personas? I can’t put my finger on it but it just seems so unusual to me.”

“Hmm, I’m not detecting anything wrong but I’ll still try.” Rise replied through their connected intercom. Yu just smiled a little at his partner, there was also a little swinge of worry in his expression that Yosuke began to notice. “I hope there’s nothing wrong with them.”

Yosuke just sighed, “I hope so too, partner.”

They were cut off when they heard Rise’s panicked voice inside of their heads, warning them about something. “Hold on, everyone! I’m picking up multiple signals from… everywhere ?! It looks like we’ve been ambushed.”

The entire group immediately put their guard up as they all went into their perspective fighting stances, their own personas right behind them as they looked around for any signs of shadows around.

It didn’t take long for the shadows to appear as it really did come from all directions possible, emerging from the ceiling, walls, and even the floor. Yosuke clicked his tongue in annoyance as he called out to his persona, “Jiraiya!”

That was where things began to go horribly wrong. As Yosuke held a hand out to give his commands, Jiraiya suddenly stopped moving and its entire body looked distorted as if his persona was glitching. 

It didn’t take long before it dissipated into thin air. That instantly made the brown-haired boy panic when he felt Jiraiya go back inside of his chest. “What…?”

“Yosuke!” Yu called out as he pushed him out of the way, the shadow’s attack just missing them by an inch. He caught the brunette in his arms but Yosuke was still too dumbstruck with why his persona suddenly disappeared, he simply sat on the floor with terror-stricken eyes.

“Izanagi!” Yu shouted the name of his persona to summon him to defeat the shadows stationed nearby, Yu not even letting go of his friend. Izanagi did it swiftly with a single swing of its gigantic sword, their enemies soon turning into black dust.

Yu eyed the other shadows, planning to defeat them as well until Izanagi also suddenly stopped in its tracks, his persona just up in mid-air motionlessly. His pupils contacted as both anxiety and worry filled up his chest.

Just like with what happened to Jiraiya, Izanagi also had this strained appearance before vanishing as it returned to Yu’s body. The silver-haired boy was enveloped in shock to even think rationally, gritting his teeth as he furrowed his brows in deep desperation and frustration.

Yu tried calling out to his other personas but none of them showed up. He even tried fusing new ones but not a single persona came to his aid. The boy clutched one hand close to his chest, his fingers gripping tightly into the fabric of his uniform. “What… what is happening?”

Yosuke bit his lips as he looked at both of his palms that were slightly trembling, he looked like he was about to break down. “J-Jiraiya…”

“What the hell happened back there?” Chie’s loud mouth rang around Junes’ food court, heavy tension filled up the atmosphere. Nobody dared to speak a single word as all of them held their heads low, everyone was both worried and confused about the previous events. “You two almost got yourselves killed!”

Yosuke, however, was over his emotions at the time as he couldn’t help but snap back at the shorter girl. “Why do you sound like you’re accusing us? It’s not like we wanted our personas to suddenly bleep itselves out of existence.”

Nearby onlookers started to turn their heads towards their way, curious to know what the commotion was all about. Some started whispering amongst themselves and half of the team wanted for the ground to swallow them whole from the unnecessary attention they were getting.

“Yosuke,” Yu tried to calm his partner down by placing a hand on his shoulder but the brunette simply flicked the concerned hand away, still letting his frustration and anger control him. Due to Chie’s somewhat prideful nature, she didn’t back down as well.

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe it has to do with your powers weakening or something that Jiraiya finally decided that it’s job over for him already!”

“What? You’re not making any sense, Chie.” Yosuke scowled terribly as he flailed his arms around. Anger just rising within him. “If you want to say something, at least sound smart saying it!”

“I’m not that dumb, Yosuke!” Chie finally closed the distance between them, dangerous eyes looking straight into Yosuke’s sharp ones. She repeatedly jab a finger against his chest that the taller of the two looked like he was about to explode right there and then. 

“It definitely has something to do with you that your own persona is gone for good!”

Yosuke didn’t have anything to say back so he just resorted to simply angrily glaring at Chie as he gritted his teeth.

Everyone was shifting their gazes between Chie and Yosuke as they went back and forth with their heated argument, it seemed like they couldn’t find the perfect opportunity to interrupt to refrain the two of them from fighting any further.

“I believe what Chie-senpai meant was,” Naoto decided to finally chime in, completely ignoring how stiff the air around them had gotten. Both Chie’s and Yosuke’s heads whipped to their direction with a very obvious scowl planted on both of their expressions, obviously displeased with the interruption.

“‘A shadow is suppressed power. And when controlled by one’s ego, it becomes a persona.’” Naoto quoted themself, navy eyes casted downward as they seemed to be in deep thought. “You all recall me saying this in the past, correct?”

Everyone just nodded their heads as confirmation. 

“I believe a persona is the power of the heart. Depending on your heart’s true nature, it changes form.” The detective supplied and no one even dared to speak to just intrude with their findings with such little information they had in hand. 

Everyone simply just listened intently as they nodded their heads according to the current information being supplied to them. Even Yosuke and Chie looked like they had calmed down a little just listening to their junior.

“And with Yosuke-senpai’s and Yu-senpai’s personas gone, one could only suspect that something inside of their hearts may have changed. Hence the disappearance of their abilities just now.”

“What?” Yosuke felt agitation growing within his chest once more. He didn’t know why he felt that way currently but there was this itch deep inside of him that ticked him off regarding the topic. “Are you saying that Yu and I are not being true to ourselves right now and that’s why our personas are gone?”

“That’s most likely the case.” Naoto simply nodded, a troubled frown now casting their face. “But we really don’t have any means of proving it as of now, so this remains as a speculation.”

The brunette scowled as he turned his head away, murmuring a hushed curse under his breath. He slammed a hand against the wooden table that made half the group jump from the sudden loud sound of flesh hitting something hard and sturdy. “Dammit!”

“Surely, you two have an idea of what’s changed at least?” Yukiko tried speaking, nervously moving her pupils between Yu who seemed troubled and Yosuke who looked distressed. The two certainly didn’t look good with the problem they were suddenly faced with.

“Sorry, but I can’t think of anything.” Yu said, slumping his shoulders in defeat as Yosuke clicked his tongue in annoyance. He turned his back on the group as he grumpily shoved both of his hands into his pockets. “I need some air.”

Yosuke didn’t even wait for anyone’s response as he immediately walked away, his figure slowly shrinking and merging with the dense crowd. Everyone had an angsty expression except for Chie who still looked pissed from their debate from before.

“This is affectin’ him the most, huh?” Kanji observed, his narrow eyes still looking ahead to the direction where Yosuke had disappeared. “I mean, I can’t even start imaginin’ what ‘s like to have your persona suddenly disappear.”

“Who can blame him, really?” Yukiko added, she had an apologetic look as she straightened her skirt using her hands. “I know everyone is trying their best to solve this case but I think Yosuke-kun’s the one who’s working hard the most.”

Nobody dared to disagree as they all simply nodded their heads and remained quiet. It was quite a surprise that Teddie wasn’t saying anything about Yosuke since the former always had a side comment to broadcast. He just had this troubled expression casted on his face ever since they got out of the TV world.

“You should apologize to him, Chie-senpai.” Naoto suggested, looking softly at their senior who had the look of guilt regarding her sudden outburst earlier. Chie simply sighed, “I don’t want to but I think I should.”

Yu thought he may have an idea as to why Yosuke’s persona vanishing had him bring out the most of his emotions. Yu just formed a thin line with his lips as his heart felt unusually heavy during that one cloudy afternoon. 

“I think I can help if I tried scanning you two with Himiko. Maybe I can see the root of the problem at least.” Rise suggested when she noticed the melancholic expression on Yu’s face that never quite left. “Although, we have to do that inside of the TV and it’s already getting late.”

The silver-haired boy faced his teammate with a warm smile, but it never reached his slanted grey eyes. “Thank you, Rise. We could go in tomorrow. I’ll tell Yosuke.”

Yu just hoped this issue of theirs won’t persist until the culprit strikes again or else it would be a very big problem for the rest of the Investigation Team.

“Did you find him, Teddie?” Yu asked his phone which was currently connected to Teddie’s line. He just heard the other sigh from the other side of the service. “No. I didn’t find him, sensei. But I was sure he wasn’t at Junes. This nose never lies!”

Yu couldn't help but furrow his brows together, “It’s alright. Thank you, Teddie. I’ll call again later.” 

The boy shoved his flip phone back into his pocket as he turned his head around town, trying so hard to find that familiar mop of brown hair anywhere. But much to his disappointment, it seemed like Yosuke wasn’t near the shopping district either.

Yu had been trying to contact Yosuke ever since they disbanded at Junes, but the latter seemed to have turned off his cell. He was hoping he could at least talk to his partner before coming home. There were things that bugged Yu and he wanted to hear the answer to his questions come out of Yosuke’s own lips.

He had a few ideas where Yosuke might be, Yu’s last hope was the riverbed in the floodplain. Yu instantly rushed there, letting his strong legs carry him as he dashed against the wind. The sun was already setting and painted the sky with hues of cool and warm colors combined.

It didn’t take long for Yu to finally arrive at his destination and just as he hoped Yosuke was there, crouching near the river with his face buried in his joined arms. Yu let out an exhale of relief as he climbed down the stairs to approach his partner.

Yosuke must have sensed his presence because he instantly turned his head once Yu was closing in. The brunette quickly recollected himself as he finally stood up, expression brooding as Yosuke couldn’t seem to meet Yu in the eyes.

“I’ve been looking for you.” Yu was the first one to speak, now standing next to Yosuke with his lips curling upward slightly. Yosuke simply brought his head low, there was a sad shine to those brown eyes.

“I’m sorry about the fuss I made at Junes. I must have been acting like an asshole, huh?” Yosuke attempted to laugh it off but it came out as too weak. His expression remained troubled as he put both of his hands back inside his pockets. 

“I don’t think anyone was blaming you.” Yu comforted him, staring straight into the slow flowing river before them. “I think they understand. So, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Still.” Yosuke shook his head, now rubbing a hand against the back of his neck. “I should apologize to Chie at least.”

Yu just nodded his head as the two boys gazed out on the scenery right before them. The orange color the sunset was providing had made the waters golden as it glistened and sparkled. Birds flew above them as it squawked as the wind was slightly picked up that made their hair and uniform sway along with it.

“Do you…” Yosuke began, not really knowing how to ask for aid as deep worry washed over him. “Do you mind if I give you a piece of my mind?”

“Not at all. Go ahead.”

Yosuke sighed, “It felt horrible when Jiraiya suddenly disappeared. It felt like a part of me was forcefully pulled out of my chest that it just feels so painful and unpleasant. Was it like that for you too?”

“Yeah.” Yu simply answered, remembering how it felt when he sensed that his personas within him were slipping through the gap of his fingers and Yu felt entirely helpless. It was just like how Yosuke had described it, horrible and unpleasant. “It hurt, a lot.”

The brunette kicked some pebbles around his feet, trying to organize his thoughts so he could voice them out the way he intended. Soon, his face turned pensive as he looked at Yu with so much sadness held in his eyes.

“Yu… Do you think I’m running away again?” he asked Yu, the creases on forehead deepening as his vision began to blur. “Am I running away from myself again? After everything that I said and pledged I would do and wouldn’t do. Am I back to being a sore fucking loser who runs away from everything?”

Yu couldn’t say anything to that but not because he couldn’t emphasize, but because he didn’t know if that was really the case. Naoto did mention that it may be because they were not being their true selves at the moment. Yu just couldn’t find the right words to say.

“Why…?” Yosuke clenched his fists on his sides as he tensed his jaw, gnashing his teeth together in frustration. “Why?! After all this time, nothing changed. I didn’t change! I’m still the same stupid jerk from back then. Jiraiya wouldn’t have disappeared if I wasn't such a coward!”

The brunette was shouting his lungs out and Yu was forced to just mentally curse at his inability to comfort his partner as he forcefully bit down on his lip that soon made him taste copper. It heavily aggravated the two of them when they couldn’t seem to find what was wrong with them.

Why did their personas have to disappear? What was it that they suppressed deep down inside of their hearts to the point that even their personas were beginning to reject them? What was it that they truly felt?

“Yosuke,” Yu finally spoke, letting the gears inside of his mind work. “I think there’s something that we’re both missing.”

Yosuke widened his eyes as his chest started to be filled with hope, his face lighting up a little. “What is it?”

“I’m really not too sure about it. But,” The silver-haired boy paused as he looked directly at his partner with determination present in his being. “This may be an issue about how we truly feel and it’s not about being our true selves.”

Yosuke blinked a few times at Yu as if trying to process that certain information, he still looked a little confused but he had certainly calmed down now. “I don’t quite get it, partner. Do you mean like our feelings or emotions?”

“Yes, that’s it.” Yu snapped his fingers and soon pointed a finger at the other, nodding his head in agreement as he smiled a little. 

“I could be wrong but there was something about what Naoto said. They said our personas are the power of our hearts. It could mean that depending on what we truly feel about something, that power may change accordingly.”

Yosuke pursed his lips as he put a hand under his chin, his pupils darting everywhere as he deeply thought about what Yu just provided him with. “I think I’m starting to get where you’re getting at now. So in other words, it may be our suppressed feelings rather than suppressed true self that made our personas disappear?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I have in mind.” Yu nodded his head enthusiastically, finally having a bit of clarity inside of his mind. Finally, they were getting somewhere. 

“Because it wouldn’t make much sense if hiding our true selves is the one that made our powers disappear if it's a matter regarding the power that comes from the heart. Considering how everyone manifested their personas after facing and accepting their shadows. It just wasn’t lining up.”

“The suppressed self idea might be the case for you though since you never faced your shadow self.” Yosuke mentioned. “But since it happened to me too, I think it’s safe to debunk the ‘not being real to self’ part.”

“Yeah.” Yu smiled, feeling satisfied with how things escalated. It felt like there was light at the end of the tunnel again as a blissful feeling of hope enveloped around them like a thin warm blanket. Yu knew Yosuke felt the same from how relief finally washed over his face.

“I’ll tell everybody else about this later to know what they think.” Yu announced. And from the mention of their other team members, he remembered something. “Rise said she’ll be willing to scan us to see what’s wrong tomorrow in the TV world. I almost forgot to tell you that.”

“Thanks, partner.” That was the first time Yosuke smiled again, it was filled with so much warmth and relief this time around. “You’re really the best partner that I could ever ask for.”

Yu returned his smile, feeling slight heat traveling both towards his face and to his stomach. He wondered, what kind of feeling was that. But if anything else, it didn’t seem quite dangerous so Yu didn’t mind feeling that way towards Yosuke.

Chapter Text

“This is quite bad,” Rise mumbled under her breath as she used Himiko to scan both Yu and Yosuke’s bodies. The four of them, including Teddie who wanted to tag along, had entered the TV since the idol had offered her aid to her seniors.

Yu insisted that it should just be the four of them to enter at the time since Rise was just going to scan them through and thoroughly. They didn’t want such a big crowd around their navigator that could hinder her scan progress and results. Everyone agreed to meet up in their special headquarters though right after.

“What kind of bad is it?” Yosuke winced, slightly slumping his shoulders in defeat already. Yu provided his comfort by placing a hand on his shoulder and Yosuke appreciated the gesture but he flinched from the sudden contact first.

“I’m really not sensing anything wrong with the two of you. It’s that kind of bad.” Rise provided.

“But I can still feel your personas within you. It just seems like it’s not really keen on listening to the both of you at the moment.” Himiko now lifted the circular scanner from her eyes, the two boys could now see the worried look Rise had on her face.

Yosuke casted his eyes downward as his face was filled with a mixture of mournful and frustrated expressions. Yu simply scowled at the sight of his partner in deep emotional distress. Rise immediately noticed this as she added,

“You two might be right about the suppressed emotions thingy though!” she panicky moved both of her hands in front of her. “But I really can’t help you with that since you two are the only ones who know about your feelings and stuff. I’m sorry. I wish I could do more.”

The brunette remained quiet, his eyebrows furrowing together as anguish washed over his expression. Yu only smiled sadly at Rise as he thanked her regardless, “It’s fine, Rise. You did what you could. Thank you.”

“I need to be alone for now.” Yosuke declared as he started walking away, specifically to the direction of the TV world version of the shopping district. 

Yu didn’t like where this was going because that place was the supposed location where Saki died as it was also the spot where Yosuke awakened to his persona. Yu trusted Yosuke enough to know what he was doing though.

“Yosuke! Where are you going? That’s–!” A worried Teddie tagging along right behind Yosuke was cut off when the latter yelled at him. “Shut up! I know! Don’t even try to stop me, Ted.”

The bear whimpered in fear as he looked back to both Yu and Rise for support. The silver-haired boy simply nodded his head, encouraging him to look after Yosuke still despite his stingy attitude. Teddie just nodded back, as determination instantly flooded his face. He trailed Yosuke but he didn’t get too close or too far.

“Do you think Yosuke-senpai will be alright?” Rise asked with concern in her voice, craning her neck to watch Yosuke and Teddie disappear against the dense fog with her small hands clasped together near her chest. 

Yu just sighed as even he didn’t know if Yosuke was indeed going to be fine. “I don’t know. But we should leave him alone for the time being.”

“But I’m worried, though.” Rise insisted, now looking up at Yu with sad almond-shaped eyes. “I never seen him that down before. He’s always so energetic and passionate all the time. So, it makes me sad seeing Yosuke-senpai get in the dumps like this.”

Honestly, Yu was worried too. This wasn’t his first time seeing Yosuke like this though unlike Rise. Yu had seen his partner get all depressed and hopeless before when he was mourning Saki’s death. He felt like what Yosuke was feeling at the moment was probably the same as the last time.

Yu needed to support Yosuke at a time like this, like how Yosuke saved his life countless times.

More time had passed with them being inside the TV. Yosuke and Teddie still weren’t back from the twisted shopping district and Rise momentarily got out to inform the others about their findings. As for Yu, he also wanted some alone time to contemplate about certain things so he stayed behind.

He thought deeply about it, Yu intensely racked his brains for any ideas or clues to what kind of feelings he was unconsciously suppressing. But it wasn’t easy. Yu didn’t recall having to feel intense emotions as of recently. Even after a very long time of pondering about it, Yu still got nothing.

Yu knew he didn’t really have strong feelings about himself such as self-hatred or self-doubt. Yu was feeling pretty confident being in his own skin, he had no objections to who he was or what he identified as. Yu knew his purpose and what his life aspirations were. So, he had to scrape this one out.

Yu didn’t have any complicated feelings regarding his family either, perhaps except towards his biological parents. He loved Dojima and Nanako very dearly and he regarded them as very special inside of his heart. However, his own parents were a different story. But, he didn’t think it was a feeling about his parents that made Izanagi disappear. This one had to be scrapped as well.

Yu was confident he didn’t have any suppressed emotions regarding his friends too. They were his everything, they held them very close to his own heart as well just like Dojima and Nanako. Yu treated them as if they were both flesh and blood. 

His friends were the ones that made him feel like he was currently in a place where he truly belonged, a place where he truly mattered. Yu doubted that this had anything to do with what he truly felt around his own friends. This one was an easy scrap.

This was why Yu felt stuck because he couldn’t think of anything that could make him hide his true feelings. There was simply no one he held ill feelings against, not even towards himself or even random passersby around town. Yu got nothing.

The silver-haired boy heaved out a heavy sigh, he was starting to feel a seed of frustration blooming inside of his chest from the incompetence of trying to recognize his own emotions. Yu felt like a fool. What sort of person would not understand their own feelings? It was Yu, apparently.

“Sensei!” Teddie’s annoyingly high-pitched voice slapped Yu out of his internal monologue, Yu looking at the direction of the sound. He saw the bear running towards him while waving his tiny arm at him.

“Is something wrong?” Yu decided to jog to the other, hoping that everything was still fine and sound. Teddie panted for a moment to catch his breath from all that running before speaking again. “It’s Yosuke. He doesn’t seem like he wants to leave that place.”

“That doesn’t sound too great.” Yu said, feeling slight worry for his partner. “Are there any shadows near him?”

“Nope.” Teddie shook his head once. “I didn’t smell any so he should be safe for now. But we must hurry! He has this dark look on his face, it's un bear able!”

Teddie brought Yu along with him towards where Yosuke was currently stationed. It seemed like the bear would be staying outside to keep guard in case any shadows decided to attack. The two of them wouldn’t be able to defend themselves at the state they were in anyway.

Yu slipped through the cloth bindings of the distorted liquor store, his silver eyes scanning the area for his partner and he soon found him at the corner of the building. Yosuke was on his knees as he slouched his back, he was staying completely still but Yu knew there was a lot of stuff that was going inside of his mind.

“Yosuke,” Yu called out in the most gentle and softest voice he could muster, crouching right next to his partner. Yosuke didn’t seem to mind Yu’s presence as much as he did with Teddie’s, the boy just casting his gaze downward as he let out a huge sigh.

“I…” Yosuke started, suddenly feeling the unusual dryness of his throat. It felt like if he said any more, the words were going to painfully scratch his trachea. His lips quivered but he still prompted to speak, “I thought I might get something here, you know?”

Yu only listened, now sitting cross-legged on the ground as he looked up at the stack of barrels and crates before them. Yosuke simply fiddled with a loose thread on the pants of his uniform using his fingers. Whether it was out of nervousness or simply to ground himself, he didn’t know either.

“This place.” Yosuke looked up to bask himself in the twisted scenery, his face darkening as the atmosphere around still felt unsettling as ever. “It’s full of unpleasant memories. If I could, I never would have wanted to go back here because the bittersweet memories I have with Saki-senpai just keeps on coming back.”

Yosuke now brought out one of his kunai out as he caressed its handle, feeling the rough texture of it against his fingertips. “But, if it’s suppressed feelings we’re talking about, I thought this might be the place.”

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Yu asked, now casting his soft ashen eyes towards his friend who had an expression that looked like he was about to burst out crying sooner or later. Yosuke only shook his head as he bit his lower lip to stop it from trembling. 

“I know I should be glad that I have already moved on from her death but at the same time I hate it.” The brunette now clenched his slender fingers around his kunai, his knuckles slowly turning white. “I hate it, Yu. Because it just means I’m slowly forgetting her, right? Like I’m not treasuring or honoring her memory good enough.”

“Grieving is weird, Yosuke.” Yu softly spoke, now bringing his own knees close to his chest to hug it. He felt like he was having deja vu with a topic like this, considering he hung around with Naoki and Hisano a lot. “I don’t think there’s such a thing as ‘right way’ to grieve. People grieve differently and carry on at different paces too.”

“I know,” Yosuke exhaled as he casted his gaze downward again. “I think I’m just feeling frustrated that whatever my suppressed feeling was isn’t related to Saki-senpai.”

“Do you want it to be related to her?” Yu finally looked at Yosuke who winced from the statement, he knew he may have hit a nerve right there. 

“Kinda…?” Yosuke awkwardly answered as he shrugged his shoulders. He let out a strangled noise as he dismissed the topic with a flick of his hand. “I don’t know, man. I just want this over with, is all.”

Yu gave a faint smile as he placed a hand right on top of Yosuke’s head, slightly ruffling his soft brown hair. Yosuke frowned a little as he pouted his slightly chapped lips, “Don’t treat me like a kid, dude.”

Yu just chuckled, still not withdrawing his hand away. He let his fingers twist the strands in between, still playing with Yosuke’s fluffy locks. “I’m not. Plus, your hair’s really soft. Feels nice to touch.”

Yosuke stiffened up from the sudden compliment as a reddish hue decorated his cheeks and even the tip of his ears. “T-Thanks.”

The taller of the two now brought both of his hands towards Yosuke’s head, letting it roam around his fine texture of his brown curls. Yosuke looked like he wanted to complain but instead he just chose to shut both of his mouth and eyes as he let Yu do whatever he wanted.

“You’re being too hard on yourself.” Yu began, now using the pads of his fingers to massage his partner’s scalp and temples as an attempt to comfort him. “Ever since your persona disappeared, all you did was drown in your own self-pity.”

Yosuke didn’t reply as he formed his lips into a thin line but he did acknowledge what Yu was saying. Yu noticed that Yosuke had a terrible frown as his mouth quivered, his eyes still closed. Without really thinking about it, Yu pressed the spot between his brows using a finger.

“Relax,” Yu said in a gentle voice, his expression also softening as he now grazed his thumb across Yosuke’s shaking lips that greatly perplexed the other. Yosuke almost jumped out of his own skin and push Yu away but he didn’t, which was mildly surprising.

Yu could see that Yosuke was still in deep emotional distress so he decided to pull his partner into a hug, pulling Yosuke closer to his body as Yu buried his head on his chest. Yosuke was too surprised to even say or do anything, he was just there sticking his forehead against Yu’s torso.

“Yu, this is–!” Yosuke was internally panicking but Yu cut him off before he could even finish by saying, “This is for girls? Yeah, I figured you’d say that.”

The brunette just tensed up even more when Yu rested his cheek against the side of his head, the latter’s free hand drawing comforting circles around his wide back. “I thought you might need a hug.”

Yosuke’s eyes just grew wider as he scowled once more before finally returning Yu’s hug, wrapping his slender arms needily around Yu. The brunette even scooted closer until their chests were intimately touching one another.

Yu could feel it, he could feel Yosuke’s calm heart beat. It seemed to be beating at a relaxed pace but it was quite fast for an average pulse though. Thump thump thump , it said. He didn’t know why but feeling it made Yu quite euphoric.

The silver-haired boy then placed one hand on Yosuke’s nape to pull him even closer to him and the other around his waist as both of them never had the intention to let each other go. Now that Yu was this close to Yosuke, he could smell a hint of vanilla and cinnamon from his hair.

Yu never really got intimately close like this with someone else before. The first person he was able to hold tenderly like this was just Yosuke that time near the riverbed where the brunette poured all of his emotions out. But now that he was holding Yosuke in his arms again, it felt even more pleasant than before. 

“I’m scared, partner.” Yosuke admitted, now gripping his hands against Yu’s uniform that crumpled the fabric. Yu just felt Yosuke resting his forehead against his shoulder. He decided to caress Yosuke’s hair in a comforting manner. “I know. That’s why I’m here with you.”

Yosuke just nodded against his clavicle as his body slightly trembled. Yu would have not noticed that his partner was already sobbing if he didn’t hear the quiet sobs and sniffs. It only made Yu frown deeply as he tightened the hug and swayed the both of them from right to left repeatedly hoping that it would bring some comfort.

Yu knew that Yosuke had become someone very special and very dear to him in only less than a year. He held Yosuke deep inside of his heart, a strong feeling of needing to hold him close never quite left his chest.

He didn’t quite understand that feeling well himself. Yu couldn’t understand it but he felt it very strongly. Yu only felt it with Yosuke and nobody else. Perhaps it was the same familial feeling he had towards Nanako and Dojima but Yu was half-sure it wasn’t that either. After all, he never really felt like this with anyone else before.

But that made Yu wonder. Yu wondered if whatever this feeling was he felt towards Yosuke was related to that . He made a mental note to himself to deeply ponder about it later on. For now, Yu needed to be there for his partner.

“Have you calmed down?” Yu asked and Yosuke just nodded. “This is the second time you’ve seen me cry. It’s kind of embarrassing now.” Yu couldn’t exactly see what kind of face Yosuke was making but he was sure that the latter was at least pouting his lips.

Yu only chuckled as he was preparing to break the hug off but the brunette had other plans, Yosuke just holding him tighter. “Wait, Yu.”

Yu hummed in question as he awaited for an answer, he didn’t get it immediately but Yosuke asked, “Is it alright if I stay the night at your place? I don’t think I could be alone with my thoughts right now.”

“Of course you can.” Yu withdrew only to take a look at Yosuke who now had slightly puffy eyes and a red nose from crying. The latter just slapped both of his palms on his face because he felt too ashamed to be seen in that way but if anything else Yu just thought it was rather cute.

Yu prepared the extra futon right next to his own, straightening it as he dusted off the surface using only his hands. Yosuke and Teddie were both staying the night, the bear insisted because he wanted to feel included on a “boy’s night”. It really didn’t matter since Nanako could just keep him company.

He made sure that his room was clean and tidy enough to have his friend stay over. It wasn’t like he had too much stuff to organize or spots to clean since Yu always maintained the cleanliness of his room. Maybe he was just being paranoid since Yosuke was there.

The door to his room was suddenly slung open which later revealed Yosuke with his hair down due to its dampness as he was fresh out of the bath. Since they never really planned on a sleepover that night, Yosuke didn’t have any spare clothes so Yu had to lend him some of his.

Yosuke was just wearing a simple greyish sweater and sweatpants that belonged to Yu, a white towel was slung over his neck as Yosuke used it to dry his own wet hair. There was this satisfaction that Yu felt when he saw his partner wearing his own clothes. 

He didn’t know why that feeling was there but Yu didn’t oppose it either. Yu just found it peculiar on how Yosuke just having his clothes on made him rather happy. Perhaps it was because he never lent his garments to anyone before that it was a refreshing sight.

Yu shook his head. He wasn’t making any sense.

“How was your bath?” Yu asked his partner who closed the door behind him, now positioning himself comfortably on the small couch. Yosuke simply answered, “It was good. Where’s Teddie?”

“I think he’s with Nanako. They’re building some sort of blanket fort downstairs. They said they will be sleeping there.”

“What?” Yosuke’s face turned sour at the idea. “Won’t they catch a cold if they slept there?”

Yu just shrugged his shoulders, now standing up as he approached the other. “The heater’s on. I think they’ll be fine.”

Yosuke slumped his shoulders as he rested his back against the couch’s rest, letting his body feel the soft mattress against his tensed back muscles. “I feel beat.” 

“I’m not surprised since you were stressing about almost everything since yesterday.” Yu was now sitting next to Yosuke who immediately glared at him with an unimpressed look on his face. “How could I not? Our personas suddenly disappearing means that there’s something wrong, isn’t it?”

Yosuke now sat back up again as he pointed an accusatory finger at Yu who only raised his brows, “And aren’t you acting a little too laid back about this? I’ve never seen you look worried or troubled even once ever since then.”

To be frank, Yu did feel troubled just not as troubled as Yosuke. It wasn’t like Yu had always reacted strongly to certain happenings. Yu just regarded himself as a little stoic, maybe.

Of course, the ability of summoning personas being stripped away from them made him feel horrible but Yu knew that they could solve a crisis like this sooner or later. He had his friends with him after all.

“I’m actually panicking internally.” Yu answered with a deadpan expression. Yosuke just gave him a grimace, “Really? But then, that does seem a lot like you.”

“I can’t afford to show any weakness now, can I? Especially when you’re already crying about something like this.”

“I wasn’t–!”

“You were. Just earlier, Yosuke.”

“That’s not crying!”

“Then what is it?”

Yu looked at Yosuke with a smug smile before the latter murmured some profanity and turned his head away in defeat. The silver-haired boy could only chuckle as he noticed that Yosuke still hadn’t fully dried his hair yet.

“Having your hair down looks good on you.” Yu blurted out without really thinking that got Yosuke a little flustered. “You think so? I always style it with gel in the morning since my hair’s pretty straight. It might be thick but you know, it doesn’t really have that much volume.”

“I think it still looks nice.” Yu smiled at him, his partner just thanking him with pink dusted freckled cheeks. “Here, let me dry your hair.”

“What? I can do it myself. It’s fine, partner.”

“But I want to.”

“And I don’t!”

Yu then proceeded to pout his lips which just annoyed Yosuke that he agreed anyway against his will. Yu had this secret ability to be able to get on Yosuke’s nerves whenever and wherever, it was absolutely foolproof as it worked every single time.

The taller of the two enveloped the slightly damp towel Yosuke was just using on the top of his head, now gently and softly rubbing the cloth against newly washed hair. Nobody spoke during that time as Yu was too focused on his task at hand while Yosuke just struggled not falling asleep from getting his hair dried by someone else.

Yu could take a whiff of the faint scent Yosuke had fresh out of the shower, he smelled like lavender. It was the same product Yu had been using. The boy felt his heart squeeze a little because not only Yosuke was wearing his clothes but he also smelled like him.

Yu just hoped he wasn’t acting like a pervert like this.

It wasn’t too long before Yu had fully dried off Yosuke’s hair, now attempting to fix it by running his fingers against the soft strands. Yosuke was right, his auburn hair did have that thickness but not much hair volume. Yu understood now why his partner had to style it every single time.

His eyes now landed on Yosuke’s exposed nape. His sweater had a low hem that usually show his own collarbones whenever Yu wore it. And considering he was at least one size bigger than Yosuke, it was definitely showing a lot of his neck area.

His mind began to wonder, wonder on things Yu never even thought of in the first place. Yu started to wonder how Yosuke would react if he were to reach out to that tanned skin in front of him.

Yu even considered how Yosuke's skin would feel under his touch, gliding the tip of his fingers on such delicate skin. He would also lightly tug on Yosuke's long hair, letting the strands slip through the gap of his digits.

Upon closer inspection, Yu just realized that specks of freckles littered across Yosuke’s tan skin. There were barely noticeable that was why Yu almost missed that detail. Yu felt this strong urge to touch them, to feel them on the pads of his fingers.

“I didn’t know you have freckles.” Yu brought up, his silver orbs still fixated on his partner’s nape. “Oh.” was the only thing Yosuke said before putting a hand on the back of his neck nervously rubbing it.

“I have quite a lot on my body. It used to be very noticeable when I was young but now it’s basically just kind of disappearing.”

Yu couldn’t seem to take his eyes off it, “It looks nice. Can I touch it?”

“Huh? Yeah, go ahead.” Yosuke was bewildered by the sudden request but he didn’t mind it. Yu immediately grazed his fingers against the surface of Yosuke’s skin that gave off tingly sensations all over his body. 

Yu was fascinated, thinking that those spots on Yosuke’s nape were the same ones as glistening stars he saw deep at night. It was mesmerizing to say the least. Without really thinking, his hand began to slip under the sweater which made the brunette flinch from the touch.

But Yosuke never complained or even stopped him, his body simply tensed up as Yu continued to slide his palms across his partner’s broad back. Yu could feel how smooth his skin was, his pulse somehow quickening.

Yu began to notice that the tip of Yosuke’s ears were bright red as his torso slightly trembled. Upon realization, he immediately put both of his hands up in surrender and hurriedly said, “S-sorry.”

Yosuke just shook his head as he adjusted the hem of the sweater around his neck area. He simply chuckled nervously as he flashed Yu an anxious smile, “It's fine. Took me off guard, is all.”

But Yu still felt guilty about that, he unknowingly made Yosuke uncomfortable. But Yu felt as if he was hypnotized as his mind kept running with thoughts of how warm and pleasant Yosuke's skin felt as his hands moved on its own. Thoughts of how he wanted more.

What was Yu thinking? What was happening to him?

“Do you want to get hot cocoa?” Yu asked instead, hoping it would ease the growing tension between them. Yu knew it worked when he saw Yosuke’s face instantly lit up as he hurried to sit up from his seat and go for the door. “Sure. Last one there is a rotten egg.”

“I’m not five.” Yu chuckled, shaking his head but Yosuke already dashed downstairs making his way to the kitchen. Yu simply sighed and yelled, “There’s no way I’m winning if you had a head start!”

Yu guessed that it worked pretty good.

When the silver-haired boy made his way down, he saw Nanako and Teddie inside their blanket fort with the fan blowing inside made the fabric look even bigger. Yu asked them if they also wanted a warm chocolate drink. Naturally, both of them said yes.

Yu and Yosuke prepared the mugs they were going to need as they boiled some water in a kettle over the stove, the younger ones simply waited patiently on the table as they giddily talked about something. Yu didn’t bother to try to listen as he fixated both of his gaze and attention right on Yosuke who insisted on wearing his apron for more of an “authentic” look. Whatever that meant.

It wasn’t exactly a brand-new sight to Yu to see Yosuke in an apron since the latter always did wear one whenever he worked at Junes. However, seeing Yosuke wearing his own apron, it made his mind wander into things he wouldn’t even dare go with a gun.

Yu didn’t understand what was going on with him that night, he couldn’t comprehend why his mind kept on conjuring thoughts such as wanting to protect Yosuke or longing to be by his side as much as he could. 

Could it be perhaps a protective instinct within Yu that he didn’t know he had towards his best friend? Yu knew that Yosuke was more than capable of looking after himself, but why did he still have the strong urge to keep Yosuke in his arms?

Yu couldn’t understand himself at all anymore and it was making him feel frustrated.

“Why the long face, partner?” Yosuke’s voice had brought him out of his racing thoughts, Yu just realized that he held such a terrible frown on his face. He simply shook his head as he forced a small smile, “Nothing. Just thinking of some things.”

Yosuke’s face soon fell as well, “Is it about…?”

“What?” Yu didn’t get it at first but when he did, he instantly shook his head to strongly deny it. Yu knew that just by spending time together, the brunette was at least distracted from the issue of their personas disappearing. 

Yu didn’t want to make things harder for his partner anymore. “Oh, no. Not that. Some other things.”

“Some other things?” Yosuke slightly tilted his head to the side in question. “Are you troubled with something?”

“Not really troubled,” Yu’s thick grey brows drew together as he casted his gaze downward. “More like, confused. I couldn’t understand it at all.”

“Do you mind telling me? Maybe I could give my insights about it that might help you.” Yosuke was now leaning his back against the counter as he crossed his arms across his chest, smiling eagerly at the other.

Yu wasn’t too sure if he should tell Yosuke because what was troubling him was about his partner after all. Perhaps, he could be very vague about it. He knew that Yosuke could help him one way or another.

Yu began with a sigh, “Do you get this feeling where you want to protect someone? But not just in harm’s way, it’s more like a general thing. You just want to be there with them at all times.”

Yosuke just nodded his head as he put a hand against his chin, “That’s interesting. I never knew you thought of things like this. But I’m not saying it like you’re heartless or anything.” He chuckled and Yu just shook his head with an amused smile on his lips that betrayed him.

“Feelings are hard to understand. I’m sure you already knew that.” The brunette glanced at the other momentarily as Yu simply nodded. “But I think that can be predicted as something that’s either familial, platonic, or even romantic. I guess it just depends on who exactly you’re thinking of and what kind of relationship you have with them.”

Yosuke then realized something, he gasped as he nudged his elbow against Yu’s ribcage. It hurt a little as Yu winced and proceeded to clutch onto his side. “What’s this? Interested in someone?”

Yu turned his head away, feeling suddenly flustered. “I-I don’t know. That’s why I told you it’s confusing me.”

“C’mon, man! Tell me her name!”

Yu ignored Yosuke’s pleas as his mind began to wander once more. Romantic feelings? For Yosuke? Yu didn’t think that was possible because… just because. The grey-eyed boy was surprised at himself for not having reasons or excuses for him to think that he might have been interested in his partner in a romantic way.

It may be a strong possibility but Yu was confident enough in what he truly felt, that whatever he felt towards Yosuke was never a romantic one. Perhaps, he viewed the other as a brotherly figure of some sort since Yosuke did emit that kind of energy at the most crucial times.

And since Yu found it easy to view people close and dear to him as a familial figure, it would be no surprise that Yu was simply viewing Yosuke as such as well. He didn’t know why he had to be confused about it when the answer was right there in front of him. 

Yu simply viewed Yosuke like a brother. And not as a romantic interest. End of story.

Besides, Yu didn’t even know if he actually swung that way . Yu used to have little crushes on girls in the same class back then. But thinking about it now, Yu may just be forcing those crushes because his classmates found it weird when he said, “I’m not interested in anyone” whenever they asked.

But that didn’t mean Yu was into boys… right?

Yu shook his head. That idea was just doing more damage than good that he had to cut off reminiscing his past “romantic” dealings. Having a girlfriend had never really been a priority even once, so it was sort of uncharted territory for him. Maybe he should ask an expert like Rise.

It didn’t take long for the hot chocolate drinks to be ready as the four of them enjoyed it while having meaningless conversations together mostly started by Teddie, as to be expected. Yu tried to steal a glance from Yosuke as he brought the mug close to his lips, eyes never quite leaving his friend.

Yu could see that Yosuke was at least more cheerful tonight compared to earlier and even yesterday. He wondered if it was because of his presence or just because Yosuke was never left alone with his own thoughts that the brunette was able to smile like this again.

But if anything else, Yu liked this. Yu liked seeing Yosuke smile.

Yu loved how Yosuke’s lips spread across his face as he showcased his slightly crooked teeth. Yu liked those crooked teeth of his, he thought it made Yosuke look more adorable each and every time he grinned. Yu also came to love the crinkles around his eyes with each smile, his brown eyes looked as if it was sparkling.

Yu’s face was getting warmer and he was half-sure it wasn’t because of the hot cocoa he was just drinking.

“Hey, you have…” Yosuke trailed off as he pointed a finger at his own lips, his auburn eyes fixated on Yu’s mouth. Yu instantly got the message as he tried licking one spot of his lips but the brunette just snickered.

“You totally missed it, dude. Here let me,” Yosuke got closer as he swiftly glided a finger across Yu’s upper lip. Yu’s body entirely froze as Yosuke proceeded to wash the chocolate off his thumb at the sink.

Yu was taken aback as he could feel his ears heating up even more. He frowned at the sensation. Just what was happening to him?

“Welcome to the Velvet Room.” a familiar suave voice was suddenly heard around the room. There was also this familiar tint of blue welcoming his just opening eyes. Yu sat unmoving across Igor, Margaret, and Marie inside a limousine traveling through the cosmos.

It seemed like he was summoned. It was about time he was invited in, considering the problem they were currently facing.

“Do not be alarmed. You are fast asleep in the real world. I have summoned you within your dreams.” The usual opener was said by Igor who looked at him with unblinking eyes as he put his joined hands underneath his chin. Yu couldn’t really move inside the room as if his body was strapped down across the seat.

He couldn’t freely talk either, Yu only found his voice whenever Igor needed an answer or a response from him. The boy had so many questions though but he knew the only best course of action was to wait patiently.

“It seemed like you and another one of your allies have fallen to some inescapable predicament.” Margaret started with her neutral expression, she now opened her book that held the records of his personas and his bonds he had made with other people.

The book’s pages only showcased his past interactions with all of the people he had met in Inaba, moving freely as if to relive those moments. However, the record of the personas he had both gotten and fused were nowhere to be found on those pages.

“You, alongside with the bearer of the Magician arcana, have been unable to summon your personas due to unknown reasons.” the blonde woman continued. Yu felt warmth spreading across his throat and he knew that was his cue to speak.

“Yes, that’s right. We don’t know how and why it happened though.” After saying that, he felt his throat close up again.

“The answer lies inside of you.” Igor simply answered while pointing a finger directly at Yu’s chest. Yu only frowned as he had no idea of what that meant exactly. What did he mean by that? Was the answer to their problem truly just within him? Was Yu looking for the way out in the wrong places?

“You simply need to open up both your heart and your mind to solve this mystery.” Igor closed his eyes as he nodded. Yu wanted to say something but his voice wasn’t coming out. It seemed like it was not his turn yet to speak. “However, you can not do this alone. Seek assistance from the person trapped in the same plight as you and together the truth will unravel itself.”

Yu knew he meant Yosuke but he didn’t exactly know what they were supposed to be doing in the first place. Both of them were lost, it was similar to being trapped in a fog. Inside the fog, nothing was visible except for the things that lay bare before you.

Perhaps that was what Igor was trying to say. That the answer was just right in front of them and they just needed to tread a path towards the truth together. Yu was beginning to have clarity over the situation. 

But still, he didn’t have any clue on where they should start but he also knew it wouldn’t be too difficult if he had Yosuke by his side.

The next thing Yu knew was he woke up inside of his room again where everything was dark as the faint light of the moon seeped its way through his glass windows. Yu seemed like he forgot to close the curtains before going to bed.

Beside him, he could slightly hear Yosuke breathing in a slow but rhythmic pattern. Yu sat up to stare at Yosuke’s sleeping form. Thanks to the illumination brought by the moon, it was casting its powdery light upon the brunette magnificently.

Yosuke had a relaxed sleeping face. It didn’t have that usual scowl on his face that made the creases on both his forehead and corners of his mouth visible. His expression was just relaxed, Yu eyeing how his eyelashes elegantly lay.

Yu could feel the warmth spread across his chest at the sight. It seemed like he took a liking to seeing Yosuke peacefully sleeping right beside him. He reached a hand to gently brush the stray hair that obscured his forehead, his fingers lightly grazing his warm skin.

The silver-haired boy assumed that Yosuke wasn’t getting the appropriate sleep he needed ever since their personas vanished due to the slight dark circles under his eyes. Perhaps that was why Yu felt rather happy seeing his partner finally put his guard down.

Without exactly thinking about it, Yu cupped a palm against Yosuke’s cheek. Yosuke felt somehow warmer than his hand as Yu tried to caress his thumb across his delicate skin. Yu was afraid that he might end up waking him up but Yosuke never once stirred in his sleep.

That made him smile though as his pulse began to pick up. There was something very pleasant about having Yosuke like this. Looking at him as he slept while also softly caressing his face and hair, Yu found it very endearing. 

Yu liked this. That wasn’t right. At this point, Yu loved this.

Yu found the most happiness and satisfaction just having Yosuke by his side like this. Yu wanted the idea of sleeping next to him every single night and waking up beside him in the morning as well. Yu found the idea of eating breakfast with him while they talked about simple things at a dining table fascinating.

Yu just wanted Yosuke. Just him and no one else.

The grey-eyed boy then sighed as he finally stopped caressing Yosuke’s soft and fluffy hair. Yu didn’t know what he was thinking, he thought it might have been the drowsiness from suddenly being woken up.

Yu laid back down on his futon as he closed his eyes waiting for sleep to claim him again, his fast beating heart never quite calming down though.

Chapter Text

Yosuke already knew that something was wrong with him, that he was someone he wasn't supposed to be. He did not only disappoint everyone around him, but Yosuke also felt disappointed in himself.

It physically pained him, it pained him so much as to why he wasn't normal like everybody else. Yosuke loathed the idea of what he would be if he didn't reject the poison that only kept growing inside of his chest.

He did everything he could to get rid of it for good. Yosuke tried burying it deep down inside of him, attempted to be someone he was not, and he even tried altering who exactly he was interested in.

But it didn't work. 

None of that worked. The same vile poison just simply kept on growing and growing more within him that now it was beginning to devour him alive. Yosuke wondered why it hurt him. Why did it hurt knowing that he wasn't actually capable of liking girls?

The brown-eyed boy often found himself clenching his jaw as boiling anger resonated inside of both his mind and heart. Agitated as to why he couldn't be like other guys his age. Irritated as to why he couldn't be interested in girls like other boys did.

“I like a girl with massive tits.”

“That's so basic. Big ass is better.”

“How about you, Yosuke? What kind of girls do you like?”

Yosuke remembered how he used to stumble and stutter in his words whenever he was asked that question during his childhood. Everyone around him was having these ridiculous crushes on each other and Yosuke felt horrible for being different.

Girls would gush over the boys they were interested in while boys would boast about the girls they found attractive. But where did Yosuke fit in these? Yosuke wasn’t a girl so he wasn't supposed to find boys cute. Yosuke was a guy, and guys were supposed to be with girls.

Cold sweat would trickle down his forehead, racking his brains for what a normal response would be that would come out from a normal boy's lips who only liked girls. Yosuke lied, “I like pretty girls.”

Simple three words circulated inside of his mind as his eyes began to swirl, becoming too distorted due to the feeling of dread starting coursing through the inside of his veins.

They can't know.

Yosuke Hanamura couldn't be perceived as someone who can't like girls. Yosuke Hanamura couldn't be known as someone who likes boys. Yosuke Hanamura couldn't be seen as someone less of a man.

Fear.

Yosuke was motivated by fear. 

Fear of being perceived as queer. Fear of being rejected due to his homosexuality. Fear of accepting himself for who he really was.

“I’m normal.” Yosuke would whisper inside of his mind, hoping that maybe he could convince himself that he was. “I’m normal I’m normal I’m normal I’m normal I’m normal I’m–”

Normal.

Normalcy. A mere word. Nothing but a noun. And yet it held Yosuke like its prisoner, shackling him around his wrist and neck as well as a gag over his mouth. It had stripped him of his freedom, freedom to be comfortable for who he really was. 

Yosuke needed to be normal. He needed to be normal because that was what he was supposed to be. A normal person. A normal person who would take over Junes some day while being married to a woman and having their own children.

However, what made things more harder and complicated than it should be was his stomach churning horribly at that “ideal future” Yosuke had set for himself.

It made Yosuke sick. It made him want to throw up.

The night he realized he had caught romantic feelings for his best friend, Yu Narukami, Yosuke was instantly filled with regret. Dread was quick to spread across his chest as he felt his heart fall to the bottom of his stomach.

Yosuke grimaced rather terribly as he hit his closed fists onto his own head while murmuring and cursing at himself, “Not again not again not again–”

Yu was perfect. He was blessed with intelligence, charisma, and a handsome face. Everything. Yu had everything Yosuke didn’t. Yu got everything Yosuke ever wanted.

At first it was admiration. Yu was a fascinating person and everybody knew this as a fact. Yosuke found him endearing. Everyone found him endearing. He couldn’t even believe himself he was friends with someone leagues above him. Yosuke felt honored.

However, the more Yosuke got to know him, the more something else began to seep within his chest. It soon started to turn into envy. Roots of jealousy deeply penetrating inside of his fragile heart.

Yosuke thought that maybe they were the same. They were both transfer students who were suddenly sent into a small rural town in the middle of nowhere. Yosuke thought Yu would be like him and he hated it when he figured out that he was actually wrong.

They fall into a brawl and Yosuke realized that resentment he felt towards Yu was actually a mask for something else entirely. Yosuke unconsciously mistook envy for attraction, what a hopeless romantic.

Everything was fine before Yu had entered his life. Everything was going perfectly well. Yosuke found a girl that made his heart race in the humble town of Inaba for the very first time, it was his first milestone for his teenage love life.

He felt too overjoyed, Yosuke thought that Saki might actually make him normal. The boy thought that perhaps Saki was the person destined for him, destined to label Yosuke as a normal boy who was only interested in girls.

Yosuke liked Saki, or at least he thought he did.

Yosuke thought he liked the shy smile Saki showed him whenever he said something funny. Yosuke thought that he liked the gentle eyes looking at him whenever they interacted. Yosuke thought he liked Saki.

Perhaps he did. Maybe Yosuke did like Saki. But it felt like he was simply forcing these so-called romantic feelings onto her just so he could be redeemed. Just so he could finally be as someone he was meant to be, someone that he wanted to be.

Looking back at it now, Yosuke didn't even feel good about those “feelings” he had towards Saki. But that didn't mean that she wasn't special to him. Yosuke still had a soft spot for her but it wasn’t right to expect Saki to make him normal. It was unfair and cruel.

Yosuke couldn’t just accept it, he couldn’t accept the possibility that he was…

Gay.

At first, Yosuke felt frustrated and agitated as to why his persona had vanished into thin air without warning. Was there something he had done for that to happen? Or perhaps Chie was right that his powers were somewhat declining? He didn’t know why but he recalled being immensely upset about it.

What he told Yu on top of that hill on one particular sunny afternoon, Yosuke wasn’t lying when he said that acquiring a persona made him feel overjoyed to the point where he thought he could be part of something bigger now that he had that kind of power.

The boy was already past that, Yosuke now understood that being gifted with the ability to uncover the truth came with a great responsibility to keep the small town of Inaba safe. However, now that power was stripped off from him, he couldn’t help but think that his self-worth went along with Jiraiya as well.

It made Yosuke so upset because he thought he would be back into being a loser prince of disappointment once again. It made him so distressed because he thought he had lost the real him along the way to find the truth of the case. But then it made him think, who was the real Yosuke anyway?

Was the real Yosuke the one residing in the human world or was the real one the shadow version of him inside of the TV world? Yosuke didn’t know. People tend to have multiple parts of themselves and he wasn’t an exception.

If Yu hadn’t come that day where he isolated himself by the riverbank, Yosuke couldn’t even imagine what kind of gruesome self-depricating thoughts he would have just to simply torture himself more at the lost of his persona.

When Yu said it may be because of suppressed emotions, Yosuke felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. The copper-haired boy was well-aware of what he was trying to suppress so deep within his chest. Which was why he wanted his suppressed feelings to be related to his guilt and grief he had for Saki.

Yosuke wanted his suppressed emotions to be related to Saki badly, because it only meant that he wasn’t trying to hide his true preferences for a romantic partner. Even though Saki had already passed on, Yosuke was still begging for her to make him normal. But that was disrespectful and shameful.

Just what kind of person was he? Selfish? Greedy? Ignorant?

But from the very start, Yosuke already knew that it wasn’t associated with Saki. Whatever he was hiding was never linked to Saki. He already knew what his suppressed emotions were but he was just too afraid to acknowledge it. The boy was terrified that when he started to admit to it, there was no turning back. That there was no way he could redeem himself back anymore.

Perhaps staying over at Yu Narukami’s house for the night was a bad idea after all. Yosuke wasn’t really thinking straight when he asked for that favor, what only occupied his mind was how he just wanted Yu to be there to hold and never let go of him again.

It was certainly a grave mistake as the feelings he felt for his partner only grew bigger and stronger. Now, Yosuke romantized each and every one of their interactions. Especially with how Yu was looking at him with lingering ashen eyes. Yosuke felt how his stare bore holes into his skull. It made him nervous but at the same time giddy. He felt a little excited.

Yosuke had noticed that Yu was particularly touchy with him that night. Not that he minded the contact at all. The brunette just didn’t like how immediately his ears and face would redden at the sensations Yu’s touch left on his skin, it felt all tingly and electric.

That was also why he felt his heart clench inside of his chest at the realization that Yu may be interested in someone else. Someone else who wasn’t a person named Yosuke Hanamura. Someone else who wasn’t born a guy like Yosuke Hanamaura.

Someone else who was… a girl.

If Yosuke Hanamura were a girl, perhaps things would have been easy. He wouldn’t have to worry about liking boys at all if he was a girl. He wouldn’t have to worry about whether his guy best friend was interested in him if he was a girl. He wouldn’t have to feel bothered liking Yu Narukami if he was a girl.

Yosuke wanted it easier but Yu didn’t. Yu never made things easier for Yosuke.

When Yosuke couldn’t drift off the sleep on the spare futon that smelled like fresh fabric softener, he felt Yu jolt awake next to him. The brunette pretended to be asleep, trying his best to stay his body still and stabilize his breathing.

What he felt next was fingers brushing against his forehead as if Yu was swaying his bangs off of his face. It made Yosuke’s stomach flip on its own. The next sensation he felt was a warm hand cupping against one of his cheeks, Yu’s thumb grazing over his skin.

Yosuke didn’t know how he kept himself together when his heart was thrashing so violently against his ribcage, he could both feel and hear the pulse resonating within his temples and ears that it slightly hurt.

But Yu’s touch felt so nice and warm that Yosuke never wanted for that feeling to disappear. Yosuke wanted to nuzzle his face closer to it, to seep more of its comfort and warmth. But before had the chance to do so, the hand withdrew from caressing his face and ruffling his hair. What he felt next was the sensation of emptiness once more alongside with the sense of terror exploding inside of his chest. 

“What a cruel world we live in.” Yosuke spoke inside of his mind, ignoring how much his heart ached.

Yosuke found himself waking up with the familiar sense of dread and despair, his eyelids heavy and somehow his body felt unusually dense as well. He realized he was laying on the ground face down, so he used all the strength on both of his arms and lifted his head.

The sight only made his stomach twist and turn.

The ginger-haired boy was inside the TV world. The familiar distorted skies, the familiar dense fog, and the familiar appalling presence of shadows overwhelmed all of his senses. Yosuke instantly got up in panic, both afraid and confused as to why he was in that world.

Yosuke couldn’t recall anything and as far as he could remember he didn’t fit the criteria of being the culprit’s next target at all. He was never shown on the television and his blurry silhouette was never seen in the Midnight Channel. And yet there the lanky boy was, inside of that dangerous world.

The brown-eyed boy could recognize where he was though at least. It seemed like he was located at the twisted shopping district, specifically inside the liquor store the Konishi family managed. Yosuke felt his head pulse as strings of unpleasant memories came back gushing inside of his mind.

But why was he there? Did he have himself kidnapped without even realizing it? That shouldn’t be right because he didn’t meet the requirements for the culprit to take him away and throw him inside of the television. If anything else, Yosuke could vaguely remember that he was staying at Yu’s house.

That was right. Yu’s house.

Yosuke was supposed to be staying the night at Yu’s house. But he couldn’t rely on his memory at all as everything seemed to be confusing and murky at the moment. The brunette let out a frustrated shout as he pulled onto his own hair.

“Oh boy, I never thought I’d see you again in this exact place and exact spot too. Just how much more could you hide from yourself, seriously.” a distorted voice suddenly boomed from right behind Yosuke making him jump out of his skin as he turned to face the direction of the voice.

Yosuke had heard this voice before, it was sickeningly familiar that he almost wanted to throw up. He could feel his heart rate picking up and his insides churn from anxiety. The ginger-haired boy put up a scowl as he glared at his own shadow self. 

“Why are you here?” Yosuke tried making his tone more stern, he could barely pull it off as his palms felt unusually sweaty as his fingers fidgeted. Shadow Yosuke finally erupted in the shadows with those annoying golden eyes and a smug smirk on his face, his arms wide open.

“The real question is, why are you here?” Shadow Yosuke returned the question, he looked obviously entertained with the sudden turn of events. But the shadow soon flicked his wrist as he looked at his own nails with disinterest. “Actually, don’t answer that. That’s not what’s important right now.”

The next thing Yosuke saw was his shadow suddenly vanishing in the air, the brunette panicky looking around until the shadow reappeared but this time he was right in front of him. Shadow Yosuke still wore that same mischievous smirk as he jabbed a finger right on the middle of Yosuke’s chest.

“You do realize why I exist again, right?” Shadow Yosuke slowly examined Yosuke, his pupils fixated on every facial feature the latter had. Yosuke couldn’t do anything as his entire body seemed to have frozen all over, his breathing ragged as he gulped. Yosuke chose to remain quiet.

“Oh? Cat got your tongue?” the shadow exaggerated on pouting his lips as he sniffed a few times as if to mock the human. Yosuke still didn’t say anything because he knew that his shadow’s goal was to rile him up to get him to reject his shadow self once again. 

“If you’re not gonna say it, then I will.” Shadow Yosuke loomed his bright yellow eyes at him as if the former was looking down at him. Yosuke could only click his tongue as he bit his lower lip. “I–”

“Yosuke!” Yosuke’s ears perked up from the voice calling out to him. He recognized that voice a little too well that he could feel his entire body tense up. Yosuke could feel the anxiety filling up his system once more, cursing himself at how his partner will have to witness his most disgusting desires.

“Oh! What perfect timing! I was wondering when you’ll show up.” Shadow Yosuke seemed to be enlightened by Yu’s sudden presence, the silver-haired boy stopping to catch his breath from all the running. Yu simply glared angrily at the shadow which made the hair on Yosuke’s skin rise up.

Yosuke had never seen Yu made that expression before. He had never seen Yu so angry like he was at that moment. It made his heart twinge from the sight, the brunette could only cast his gaze downwards.

“Get off Yosuke!” Yu screamed, agitation and worry were both seen on his face. Shadow Yosuke only laughed as he positioned himself right behind Yosuke, hands holding down on his broad shoulders. The shadow fake pouted, “That’s no fun. But don’t worry. Someone else is here with us to keep you company.”

Before anyone could react, Yosuke saw Yu’s shadow self wrapped his arms around Yu with a melancholic expression on his face. Yu was too shocked to even do anything as he only let the shadow hold him tighter and tighter.

Shadow Yu had this sorrowful aura around him with downturned lips and sullen golden eyes. A tear stain tainted one side of his cheek as if he was mournful of something. Yosuke definitely wasn’t expecting Yu’s shadow to look so… hopeless.

“You have a shadow?” Yosuke couldn’t help but ask, he felt quite breathless from disbelief. Yu remained quiet as he couldn’t find the right words to say. Shadow Yosuke then proceeded to place his chin comfortably on one of Yosuke’s shoulders.

“Look at that,” the shadow spoke softly against Yosuke’s ear that made him feel goosebumps all over his skin. “Look at your partner . You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yosuke nervously said as he tried to turn his head away but Shadow Yosuke grabbed onto his jaw tightly as he forced him to focus his stare at Yu who was still being held in place by his own shadow.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” the shadow hissed through gritted teeth, eyes wide as the smile on his face grew only bigger and bigger. “C’mon, don’t be shy and take a look at your partner and tell us what it is that you like about him so much that you can’t afford to look at other girls .”

“Yosuke, what is he…” Yu trailed off, his eyes held both concern and uncertainty about what was currently happening. Yosuke couldn’t bear it, he couldn’t bear it when Yu looked at him like that as if Yosuke was an entirely different being.

“I don’t–” the brunette let out a yelp of pain when he felt a forceful punch right on one of his sides, he could feel the stab of discomfort spreading across his torso. Yosuke felt weak on his knees as his head started to spin.

“Isn’t it time to let him know? To let your true desires be known?” Shadow Yosuke said, now nuzzling his cheek against Yosuke who could only scowl terribly as the creases on his forehead only deepened.

“Yosuke! What is– Mphf!” Yu was interrupted when his own shadow put a hand against his mouth, his yellow eyes glaring down right at him with so much venom in it. “It’s not your turn to talk yet.”

“This is the right time, isn’t it? The right time to tell your beloved partner that you’re not really into girls, never have been and never will be. In fact, the person you are interested in is the very one right in front of you.” Shadow Yosuke smirked before letting out a maniacal laugh, satisfied to see the color drain from both of the humans’ faces.

“That’s… that’s not true! That’s bullshit!” Yosuke tried to deny as he attempted to squirm himself free. His efforts, however, remained futile as his shadow was somehow physically stronger than he was. The brunette couldn’t bear to see at how Yu was looking at him, he didn’t want to see his partner look at him with shame and disgust.

“Yeah, right.” Shadow Yosuke simply rolled his eyes. “How long are you going to keep lying to yourself? How long are you going to keep altering your preferred sex? You go through all that effort just to find out that you can’t change who you are, that you can’t change who you like.

“You put on a facade of an average teenage boy who is obsessed with getting together with a girl. Because you know if you do that, you’ll never get suspected that something is wrong with you. They will never know that you are not normal .

“People won’t think you’re sick in the head if you act like you’re interested in people of the opposite gender, right? That’s why you overdo it. You exaggerate fawning over the girls hoping that people wouldn’t be able to tell that you are actually into guys.

“You don’t want to be seen as a weirdo. You don’t want to be seen as a freak. You don’t want to be seen as queer. Because if people start seeing you that way, you’re afraid that they’ll despise you. You’re terrified of people loathing you for liking the same gender as you. That’s why you try so hard at being ‘normal’.”

“Stop it!” Yosuke finally found his own voice to shout out loud, his chest seemed very heavy as his heart felt like it was being pierced by multiple needles. He drew his eyebrows together in pain as it quivered, his eyes couldn’t even bear to look at Yu’s direction.

Shadow Yosuke simply sneered, “Not so bullshit now that I hit a nerve, am I right? You can’t escape me. I am you. I know what you think. I know what you feel. I know what your deepest desires are and it’s that boy.”

The shadow pointed a finger right at Yu and both of the teenagers eyes widened in shock and disbelief. Yosuke felt like crying, he could feel his chest tightening as his eyes started to burn. Everything hurt and his skin felt like it was on fire.

“Yu Narukami. The embodiment of perfection.” Shadow Yosuke began, sighing dreamily as if to ridicule Yosuke’s romantic feelings for Yu. “Yu meant nothing to you at first until you became partners. Yu was no more than a friend to you until you caught feelings for him. How many times did it cross your mind that if you were born a girl, things would be different?”

Tears pooled at Yosuke’s eyes as it threatened to fall, his entire being was filled with nothing but dread and sorrow as his true feelings were now out in the open against his will and in front of no one other than the person he held dear in his heart.

“But you stopped wondering that because you knew wishing things such as being a chick isn't what a boy would normally think. You thought to yourself that you needed to be normal . Again, with that word.” Shadow Yosuke shook his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose using his free hand. “What’s with you and your obsession with being normal? What does it mean to be normal, hm?”

“‘Boys are supposed to like girls and girls are supposed to like boys’. Is that what normal is to you? Just having the hots on someone from the opposite sex? Why are you so scared of being seen as someone different? Oh wait, I know.”

The shadow trailed off as he grinned and chuckled, Yosuke could just feel the inevitable doom incoming. “Because if you’re seen as someone different, you know people will resent you. You’ll become known as the boy who only likes his fellow boys, the boy who's afraid of girls. People would be disgusted by you. People would hate you. And now, even your precious Yu hates–”

“That’s enough!” Yosuke yelled, mustering all of his strength to get out of his shadow’s grip and for once he was finally successful. The ginger-haired boy put a safe distance between them as Yosuke glared at him with teary eyes. “Just stop! Stop it! Stop pretending you know shit about me!”

“But I do know everything about you. Geez, we’ve been through this before. Can’t you remember?” Shadow Yosuke just kept on grinning as he swung his arms open once again, that aura of superiority was overwhelming Yosuke that it was making his blood boil.

“You know the words you should say next. Or maybe, don’t say them at all. After all, you don’t have the means to fight me. Both of you are powerless right now unlike the last time when Mister Perfect here had the power to kick my ass.” the shadow smugly taunted as Yosuke could only grit his teeth as his jaw tensed up. 

Yosuke wanted to deny everything his shadow said. He wanted to deny that all of that were simply lies and it was just merely a story the shadow made up. But he couldn’t. Yosuke knew he couldn’t. If his shadow went berserk again like last time, him and Yu would die as they didn’t possess the power to defend themselves anymore.

It hurt, it deeply hurt Yosuke. No matter how much he tried to hide or run away from it, he knew deep inside of him that everything his other self spouted was true. Everything of that was true and now Yu knew it all. Yu knew everything about him now and Yosuke only wanted to disappear so badly.

“Yosuke,” Yu’s familiar voice had sent waves of relief to Yosuke, finally he heard a voice that didn’t sound so distorted and corrupted. Yosuke wanted to look at his partner but he still didn’t have the guts to do so, the agonizing shame and guilt were still looming all over him.

“It doesn’t matter to me if you like someone with the same gender as you. That doesn’t make me see you less of a person or less as a man.” Yu said and Yosuke could only stand still in disbelief at the words he was hearing. Was those really true? Was that how Yu really felt about him despite everything?

“You’re just you, Yosuke. It doesn’t make you weird or creepy just because you like guys. You are just fine the way you are and you don’t have to pretend anymore just to fit in. It’s alright, Yosuke. I’ll still be your partner no matter what.”

Yosuke could only clench his fists close as a sinister feeling swam within his chest up to his throat. He couldn’t name what it was but all he knew was that it felt rather terrible that it made heat rise within him.

“Yeah, that’s not gonna work.” Shadow Yosuke chimed in, now walking towards Yosuke as he slung an arm around his tensed up shoulders. “This guy here is still rejecting me, you see. Whatever you’re planning isn’t exactly working.”

The shadow looked at Yu as if he had the upper hand of the situation, Shadow Yosuke looked at him with so much confidence and ego that it pissed off both of the teenagers.

“What do you know…?” Yosuke mumbled to himself, still clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white and his palms sting from how deep his own nails were digging into flesh. “What do you know, Yu?! You only say that to make me feel better! That’s not really how you think! You’re only saying words I wanted to hear!

“You don’t know what it was like trying to hide from everyone! You don’t know what it was like when you’re different from everybody else! You don’t know how much it hurt when people kept on seeing you as a disappointment for who you like!” Yosuke screamed his lungs out, his brown eyes glaring angrily at Yu who only formed his lips into a thin line.

“So, don’t try to act like everything is fine when it isn’t! Don’t act like you know what it feels like!”

Silence.

Just dead silence.

No one dared to speak after Yosuke’s sudden outburst, the latter now feeling guilty for having to snap at his partner like that. He didn’t mean to say such mean and awful words. He didn't mean any of that. Yosuke opened his mouth to apologize until Yu’s shadow, who remained quiet until now, suddenly chuckled.

The sound was so unsettling in Yosuke’s ears. Shadow Yu, that was something Yosuke never even dreamt of witnessing and yet here he was right in front of Yu’s distorted other self.

“ I don’t know what it feels like? Perhaps you’re right. Maybe I do not know what it feels like to hide who I really am from everyone else out of fear of rejection.” Shadow Yu’s gaze casted downward as the melancholic expression he had earlier was back. 

“But I do know how it feels like not even knowing yourself. Relying on others and mirroring other’s personalities, that’s what I do best to the point I do not know the real me anymore. 

“I strive for human connection because I am nothing without them. If I don’t appease people, therefore I am incompetent. If people choose to leave me, therefore I am worthless.”

Yosuke frowned as worry for his partner resurface back to his chest, his pupils now fixating on Yu who only had his head down with a troubled expression on his face. Was this how Yu truly felt? Yosuke didn’t know and it made him feel like he was a bad friend for not even noticing.

Shadow Yu suddenly decided to twist Yu's slender arms behind his back as an attempt to bind him, the latter letting out a blood-curdling scream from the sensation of pain as he cried and pleaded at the other for help.

“What are you doing?!” Yosuke screamed at the top of his lungs as he was ready to lunge forward to his partner’s shadow. He was only stopped when Shadow Yosuke grabbed him and instantly bounded his arms together behind his back. “Let me fucking go!”

“Nuh-uh. It’s your partner’s turn for a show and tell.”

Shadow Yu’s free hand shot up to Yu's face to forcefully grab it as it bored his yellow irises on the human's skull, his eyes were full of angst and misery.

“ You are me. You are just as hopeless as I am. Do you recall how many times you wondered if people around you really liked you for who you are and not simply because you’re useful or just a pretty face?

“You often contemplate if your friends actually care about you and if they don’t just see you as their leader who's convenient in fight because of your ability to hold multiple personas. They may need you on the battlefield, but other than that? You’re nothing but a burden.

“You know everything about everyone else but they don’t have a single clue to who you really are. And that’s because they don't make an effort to get to know the real you. They only care about you because you willingly listen to their problems. But once that’s solved, they toss you out like some overdue garbage.

“Deep inside you know that no one gives a damn about the real you because the real you is nothing but an empty husk. You are nothing. You are a nobody. You are destined to be alone all by yourself. No connections nor links. You have nothing.”

“That’s not true.” Yu struggled to say out loud, still wincing in pain and it only made Yosuke squirm more out of his shadow’s grip as well. “My friends are nothing like from what you described.”

“Is that so? Up until now you still choose to defend them?” Shadow Yu didn't look surprised but rather disappointed. His grip on Yu was loosening now for a bit as his chilly gaze never left the human boy. 

“But what about Yosuke? You tell yourself he’s special to you when you don’t even know what’s with him that makes you feel so drawn.”

Yosuke slightly hung his mouth open from slight shock. What did his shadow mean by that? The brunette was confused and he certainly wanted to know more. He resorted to shifting his gaze onto Yu to see his reaction and he was simply perplexed when he saw the terror present on his face.

“Why don’t you tell him? Tell him how you really feel about him.” Shadow Yu looked at Yu with pity in his golden orbs, looking down at the human. “Yosuke told you how he felt about you. It’s only reasonable to do the same.”

“I…” Yu struggled but his face seemed conflicted as if he was afraid that his own words would slit his own throat once it came out of his lips.

“Yu…” Yosuke tried calling out and his partner only shook his head as he formed his lips into a thin line. The silver-haired boy simply shut his own eyes as he kept on shaking his head.

“You can’t? Then I’ll say it for you, I guess.” Shadow Yu proceeded to hold eye contact with Yosuke, the latter feeling a cold chill run down his spine from such a disturbing gaze. It wasn’t the same silvery eyes Yosuke was accustomed to but instead bright yellow ones that held no shine or softness in it.

It was an unpleasant sight to say the least.

“He often tells you that you’re his one and only partner, that your bond meant something big. When in reality, he doesn’t really know what or how he feels about you.” Shadow Yu spat with so much venom in his distorted voice that it was making Yosuke feel sick in his stomach again.

“You’re only being kept around because he couldn’t bear the feeling of being alone again, he couldn’t bear the idea of losing someone again. And you, Yosuke Hanamura, is the perfect candidate to fill that empty void.

“You made him feel special. You made him feel like he is being cared for and loved with all of the attention you’re pampering him. But that’s just it. That’s just how he sees you. A battery for his selfish desires. You are nothing but an object of manipulation, Yosuke .”

The way his own name rolled out of his tongue left a rather sour taste at the back of his throat as it felt like vile was climbing up his esophagus. Yosuke could only feel dread as he couldn’t properly process the information he was just given, his brown pupils contracting as it slightly shook.

“Shut up!” Yu yelled while Yosuke was too dumbstruck to say or do anything. “I don’t think about Yosuke like that! You are twisting your words!”

The brunette couldn’t help but wonder if anything of that was true. Or rather, how much of that was true. Was that really how Yu saw him? Did Yu just kept him around because he liked how he was treating him? But then again, they were facing their shadows who claimed they were the true selves.

It might be true.

“Twist my words? Isn’t that what you do best?” Shadow Yu snapped back, furrowing his brows in annoyance. “You twist your words to get everyone to like you just so you can lessen that unbearable feeling of loneliness. You claim you speak with your heart when in fact your words are nothing but baseless.”

“You’re–!”

“I'm what?” Yu's shadow cut him off, eyes looking sharp with displeasure and discontent. Soon, an uncanny smile slithered across his lips. “‘You’re wrong’ or ‘You’re not me’? You were going to say that, aren’t you. C’mon, say it. You know what’ll happen next.”

Yu simply resorted to clicking his tongue in agitation as he turned his head away. Yosuke averted his eyes as multiple distorted thoughts plagued his mind. He really wasn’t in the mood to talk or even look at Yu at the moment. He wanted to be left alone but that might be impossible since their shadows have them surrounded and locked up in the twisted shopping district.

“Now, you two be good boys and stay here. We’ll be back. But it’s not like you could actually get out of here on your own anyway.” Shadow Yosuke smirked as he threw Yosuke onto the ground that made the latter groan in pain as soon as he hit the floor. The brunette didn’t fight back or resist anymore as he remained laying there, feeling like all of his energy was drained. 

Shadow Yu did the same to Yu but he wasn’t as forceful like how Yosuke’s shadow was when he tossed the human. The two teenagers couldn’t do anything as both of them felt helpless, it felt like a big and deep hole was bored through their chests just to get their hearts ripped off.

The shadows disappeared in the air for the time being, their distorted laughs and voices lingered for a moment. They left Yu and Yosuke alone together trapped inside the TV world with minds clouded and hearts heavy.

Both of them did not even dare confide in one another.