Chapter Text
Lost and Found in the Shadows
October 31st
Magna's just about tugged the bow tie from her neck, fumbled her way through half the buttons of her shirt and unbuckled her belt when there's a knock at the door. Which never usually meant good news.
She stops for a moment, waiting for whoever it is to hopefully move on.
But they knock again. And then again. Whoever it was they were certainly going to be persistent in ruining the few hours she might actually have to herself tonight, before she caves to sleep. Or attempts to.
She takes a few side steps to her front door, the apartment no bigger than a motel room, then glances through the peephole.
At the sound of movement, a voice appears from the other side.
"Magna? I'm sure I wrote down the right address. This is the right place." Magna rolls her eyes, and takes a step back before sliding the deadbolt off its latch and opening the door just a crack.
She's met with the same ball gown adorned Miko she made contact with earlier, albeit she's definitely, somewhat, more drunk than before. "Miko?"
"Magna." She sighs, semi-relieved she's actually been knocking on the correct door. Her eyes wander the gap, until she settles on the half-revealed body of Magna, where she's partially undressed.
"What're you doing here Miko?" There's a harshness that’s unintended. Magna pokes her head out the doorway, averting her gaze down the hall; thankful nobody else in her block seems to be awake or aware of their presence, yet.
Her eyes pop back up at the sound, "I wanted to see you." She reaches a hand forward, attempting to make some connection between herself and Magna, one she had been longing for the entire night, every moment after she'd seen her. But unable to under the watchful eye of the upper-class socialites.
Magna doesn't shut the door, but withdraws into the shadow of it to keep away from Miko. Unwilling to make any form of contact right now. She was still kind of mad. Even if she hadn't overtly seemed it earlier, she was simply relieved to be within Miko's vicinity at last.
"You don't want me here?" Miko asks. And Magna is almost sure she sees a quiver in Miko's lip, a subtle change in her demeanour that the otherwise stone-faced lawyer would never give away. The hurt in her eyes is what makes the guilt override her momentary anger.
"Miko. It's late, you shouldn't even be here." Magna opens the door a little more, not exactly inviting her former girlfriend inside, but no longer closing her out either.
"Why not?" It's sharp and to the point.
Magna sighs. It's a tricky one to answer in all honesty, she was still trying to get used to all the rules that came with this place. But from the moment she'd set foot in here she could see the clear divide between classes, just as the old world had been before. It pains her to think about it, how much it sucks.
"You're you.. and well, I'm me." She wipes a hand down her trousers nervously, before her eyes meet Miko's properly.
Yumiko can see the hesitation there, the same hesitation Magna had had years prior, when she'd continued to show up for her outside of the courtroom.
"If you let me in. It's not like anybody is going to know." Miko gestures to the empty hallway, the doors to all other residents' apartments shut, no lights visible.
Miko isn't wrong, she rarely is, and Magna knows that.
And though she's still hurt, and frustrated and angry, she opens the door wider anyway. Because she can't deny Miko what she wants. The other woman steps in without a moment's hesitation.
Once Yumiko is safely across the threshold, Magna closes and most importantly, re-bolts the door. She doesn't trust the people in this place, not for a second. She turns a second oil lamp on her nightstand on, producing a warm glow across the room.
"Can I ask you a question?" Magna asks and she crosses back across the room, so she can lean on the counter opposite where Yumiko stands.
Yumiko nods, keenly. Perhaps a little too enthusiastically but, at least Magna wasn't as closed off to talking as Miko had suspected she might be.
"Why didn't you come and find me?" "What do you mean find you?" Yumiko leans back, one hip popping out the side. The tightness of her dress only extenuated the curves of her body. Magna does her best not to stare.
"In this place Miko. I know you spoke to Connie and Kelly. And pretty much every person in this place from what I saw tonight."
"I've been kind of preoccupied, I mean I work for the Miltons. And Eugene has had a lot going on that I've been keeping track of. And that's not even beginning to mention that I found Tomi." Yumiko's voice raises slightly, she doesn't want to yell at Magna. That isn't why she came here at all.
"So you just moved on?" Magna is just able to stop her voice from breaking. Everything Miko had just told her, she'd already known, but the words had been relayed from Connie, to Kelly before they'd reached her.
"No Magna. I didn't just..." She lets out an exasperated sigh, "You of all people should know how complicated families can be and..."
"I thought I was your family." Magna isn't trying to be selfish, but her feelings have certainly been hurt. She'd expected a joyous reunion when she made the decision to travel to this place, but she'd been totally left out of the affair.
Miko had been ninety percent of her life for a decade, through thick or thin, that had held strong. Now she was seemingly being replaced, simply because of shared blood.
"Why does it always have to be about you? I have a real family member, living, right in front of me and you just expect me to ignore that?" She's practically shouting at this point. But she stops. Yumiko can see the way Magna's jaw physically drops open at her statement. Even in her drunken haze. The crestfallen look in her eyes, how deep of a nerve she has just struck.
"Magna you know I..." Yumiko reaches a hand toward the other woman, but only gets as far as a single step, Magna's body shifts as a warning to stop.
"Don't Yumiko." It's low, and fires like a warning shot. There's no Miko this time, it's Yumiko. Instead Miko folds her arm, swiping her tongue across her lips before drawing it between teeth with a shaky breath. Trying to contain the emotions. "I didn't mean that you're not my...I just..." Her voice breaks.
But Magna turns away, palms holding tightly to the wooden counter she's been leaning against. She can't bear to look at Yumiko right now. She doesn't want her to see the weakness in her emotions, let her know how much it hurts. Of all of the people left in the world, she would never have thought Yumiko might be the one to hurt her the most.
She doesn't know how long she stands there, hands tightly clenched as she tries to regain control. To contain the ebb and flow of emotions.
"I should go." Yumiko breaks the silence, taking a few steps towards the door. She hesitates for a moment, waiting for Magna to react.
But she doesn't. She stands firm in her positioning.
Yumiko turns and reaches for the deadbolt, and the moment the chain starts to jangle.
"Yumiko, wait." Magna says through gritted teeth. She looks up, finally standing back up right, releasing the tabletop from her iron-fist grip. Her eyes meet a set of tearful brown ones, and that settles it. Differences or not aside.
"Just spend the night. It'll be cold and it's late. I don't want..." Her eyes soften just a touch to let Yumiko know she's sincere. She doesn't need to finish the sentence. Proving that even if she's furious that she still cares. Well at least they were back to talking.
Magna makes her way to the lone dresser at the foot of her bed and retrieves a loose shirt and pair of pants. "As good as you look in that thing, I'd be lying if I said I didn't hate it." There's no real attempt at flirtation, it's just an honest statement. She throws the clothes at Yumiko, who catches them.
She is too willing to remove the garment, and scoots her way straight over to Magna.
"Can you unzip me?" Magna says nothing but moves up behind Miko. She hesitates for a moment, jumping from so much anger to intimacy is alarming.
But her hand slowly comes to rest on Yumiko's shoulder, the other reaching gently for the zipper clasp. She begins to unzip from the neckline until it stops at the base of her back.
Yumiko slides the straps off slowly and down her arms. It wasn't like it would be the first time Magna had seen her change.
Magna's hand hovers above its place where it rested on Miko's shoulder as she moves the straps. But instead of moving away, there's a feeling, a pull that tells her to keep it there.
So she lowers her palm back down to rest on Yumiko's bare shoulder. There's a temptation to lean in and brush her lips just above it, but Magna doesn't.
It wasn't a good idea, she knows inviting her stay isnt a good idea. But here they were.
Without turning, Yumiko slides her arms into the shirt, and finally Magna's touch vanishes.
But Yumiko doesn't want it to.
It's what prompts her to turn slowly, bringing her hand up to Magna's face. She strokes the baby hairs that curl across her forehead out of the way, before letting her hand still on Magna's cheek.
Her thumb brushed over soft flesh a few times. It had been so long since she had Magna. "Yumiko…" Magna sighs, "We can't." And though she really wants to, she wants Miko in every sense and definition of the word want.
" No angry sex. No drunk sex. No..." Magna knows, sometimes things don't always work out the way you want them to.
"It doesn't have to mean anything," Yumiko hushes.
"Since when? It does when it's us." It just adds to the pile of hurt. To say the least.
She takes a step back, to cool off. She doesn't want to argue, and she knows Miko is drunk. She knows all too well how Miko can be when she's drunk.
"I didn't mean it like that...I just..." Yumiko starts. But before she can finish, Magna cuts her off.
"I know what you meant." Yumiko pulls at the hem of Magna's shirt, and tries to focus on the fact that it smells exactly like her. The smell when she holds her, or comes in close to sleep beside her. Albeit tainted with fresh laundry detergent.
She gives Magna the time and space to cool off. In the time she retrieves a glass of water from the lone sink in the corner of her apartment, takes a sip before approaching Miko again. Setting the glass down on the night-stand of her bed.
She gestures with her head to sit down on it, and Miko follows her lead, giving her a little more space this time. They sit down on the mattress, cross legged, knee to knee. But not touching. And their eyes finally re-lock on one another.
They simply stare for a moment, and Yumiko smiles. Magna tries so hard to withhold, but it's Yumiko. And even without the fancy ball gown, and perfectly styled hair, she is just as beautiful as Magna has ever thought she was. And god she wants her back. But simultaneously she wants to continue yelling at her for the heartbreak it caused her when she left, how cold and closed off she had to be to even function the first few weeks. How she hated the way she cried alone in a random bedroom in Alexandria the day she left. And in the commonwealth how she was barely holding it together, knowing that Miko was here, the physical gap had closed again, but she was still a complete world away. That even after several weeks she'd made no attempt at locating her. Yumiko, even in her inebriated state, can sense the inner turmoil that's bubbling inside of Magna. The emptiness it causes in her eyes. She reaches a hand out to hold Magna's, to give a silent comfort she knows she's the only person that's ever been allowed to give.
"You're drunk Miko, you're not thinking straight." Magna chastises, shaking her head. She tries to break the contact between them, before things get out of hand again. It's like a switch has flipped in her. But the anger is usually just something for Magna to hide behind. Yumiko has had years of experience seeing through that. Magna doesn't want to re-cross a boundary they had very much set before Miko set out on the journey here. That they both agreed would be best for them. Without knowing for absolute certainty that they would remain together, she couldn't handle the loss again.
"Am I?" Miko raises her eyebrows. Magna doesn't know if that's an attempt to prove her claimed sobriety, just to infuriate her or to make a point. It all works.
So she figures if Miko wants another argument, if she wants to be infuriating, then she'd do it right back. But not put out. Magna brushes her fingers into the shorter hairs that cascade over Miko's ear, tucking them back softly. She leans in towards her, until her lips rest just beside her earlobe, one of the places she knows Miko likes to be kissed most.
Then she whispers, low and husky, "You smell like a fresh bottle of red."
"You shouldn't have served me so much." Yumiko fires back just as quickly, without moving.
"Not my problem, that's what I was paid to do." Magna shrugs and begins to pull back away, when she's halted by a sudden cool palm on her cheek.
The tension between them is palpable.
And when their eyes meet, Miko confidently continues, "Do you want me to kiss you?"
Magna swallows thickly. Technically she isn't losing if Miko is the one who puts out first. She isn't crossing the boundaries they'd set even when they were together. But equally she doesn't know if her mind can handle having her again. Or maybe it's the thought of losing her.
Miko raises her eyebrows again, waiting for an answer. The answer.
"I..." Magna starts, and then Yumiko's lips are on hers. At first it comes like a whirlwind, but feels like heaven. It's a welcome distraction from everything else going on within these walls.
Before long, Yumiko's hands have made their way to the nape of Magna's neck, tracing up into her hair. And Magna's hands have made quick work of removing the shirt that she'd given Miko no more than 10 minutes ago, from her back. Fingernails trail up and down her spine, wanting more. The kisses deepen gradually, and last a span of five glorious minutes before the emotions between them just become too much.
Yumiko feels the wetness track down one of her cheeks as she leans in for another kiss. And immediately she draws back.
Magna takes a deep, unsteady breath. Containing the cry that sits so high in her chest, pawing furiously at her damp cheeks.
And this is why they didn't have anger sex. At least one of them always ended up crying. Today it was both.
Yumiko swipes a thumb across Magna's cheekbone, wiping the fresh droplet away. It doesn't take long for Magna to reciprocate the action. Yumiko sniffles and stifles a small smile, leaning inwards to rest their foreheads together. "I'm sorry Magna."
"You don't need to be sorry. I shouldn't have been so. Me, I..."
"No," Yumiko draws back at arms length, a newfound sobriety taking hold of her. "You have every reason to be angry. You're right." Magna waits patiently for Yumiko to continue. "I have, had, been avoiding you. But not because I didn't want to see you. That'd never happen." She takes one of Magna's hands gently. "It's just been so confusing. And I'd missed you so much but the space. I thought it just made it easier for you. I didn't want to be but distracting myself from you made it easier than trying to resist. And I didn't even know that you'd come to this place, and I didn't want you getting tangled up in government messes."
Magna smiles, and paws at her face with her free hand again. Miko follows in chase, resting her palm over hers on Magna's cheek. "If you don't want to do this. We don't have to. But I'd still like to see you."
"Miko..." Magna whispers, she softens into a smile, lowering their joint hands to her lap. "Where you go, I go." She gives a gentle squeeze.
Miko reaches in with her free hand to cup both of Magna's cheeks again, she wants to pull her back into a kiss, but things evidently need to move slowly between them.
Magna shifts the subject, "So you gonna tell me what's going on here?"
"I will but,"
"But?" Magna's brow furrows furiously.
"I'd rather just spend the night with you. For tonight." Magna is somewhat hesitant, but she considers several things. If Yumiko is even somewhat drunk, she probably isn't going to recall everything she wants to tell, even with her incredible mind. And whilst it would add a level of truth telling, Magna knows Miko won't lie to her. Satisfied with the decision, at least for now, Magna relents.
Releasing Yumiko from her grasp a moment later, she makes quick work of adjusting the pillows into the corner of her bed. Then leans into the farthest corner, at the head of the bed, half propped up against the wall. She sinks back and opens an arm waiting expectantly.
And Miko follows.
Tucking her head onto Magna's chest, her ear presses just where her heart lies, so she can hear its steady thumping. She drapes an arm over the other woman's torso, hooking her hand under the hem of her tee; so she can curl her fingers around the warm skin of her waist. Magna presses a chaste kiss into Miko's head from above as they settle into an embrace that feels so natural, so familiar. Magna tugs the knitted blanket from the mattress over them both, tucking Yumiko further into the safety of her embrace. They lapse into a comfortable silence, the only sound their quiet breaths. For a moment everything is still, and peaceful.
Almost as though all is right in the world, because they're together. It's nice to be able to just exist in one another's company after so many weeks apart.
"Miko?" Magna asks, quietly, afraid to ruin the moment. Two brown eyes look up at her, patiently.
"Don't split us up again."
"You can't get rid of me now, even if you try." Yumiko reassures the statement with a soft peck to Magna's jawline, before she settles back in her embrace once more, smoothing her thumb back and forth over Magna's stomach.
Neither woman remembers falling asleep, because for the first time in a long time they're comfortable and content, so sleep comes easily.