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Chapter Text

Remus hummed under his breath as he made his way through the office. Here and there, a coworker would stop and smile at him, to which he’d politely smile back. Part of this effect was attributed to his “natural charm”, though he wouldn’t exactly call it natural. He wasn’t supposed to sing in public, but it was stronger than him. And if it just made him a little more likeable, what was wrong with that?

Midway through the corridor, he opened a door on the right, not bothering to knock.

“Morning!”

A groan was the (already expected) response.

“Hi, Remus, how are you doing, Remus? Good to see you too, Remus…” He teased, eyeing his friend.

Said friend was glaring at their computer screen. With a deep sigh, they turned to face Remus. Their scowl eased just a little bit.

“Hi. What do you want?”

“Just dropping this off for you. I read it too many times already.” He slipped the files over on the table and sat on the vacant chair across from it. Fixing the small plaque reading “Janus Hyde, Att.” he had inevitably knocked over with the papers.

Janus hummed in response, skimming through the documents. A new portrait on the shelves behind them caught Remus’s eye. He smirked.

“Stop it.” Janus warned, not even looking up from the papers.

Remus feigned an innocent smile. “Stop what?”

“You’re disgusting.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re thinking too loud! I can see it and it’s gross!” Remus opened his mouth to retort, but Janus cut in, “and no, we are absolutely not talking about my sex life in the office. Fuck you.”

Remus laughed and shook his head. By the frown on Janus’s face, he could tell his mind must already be full with other people’s thoughts.

“Alright, I’ll leave you be.” He stopped by the door and glanced back, an earnest look on his face. “She’s cute, by the way. I’ll love to hear it when you’re ready.”

With that, he closed the door behind him, just barely catching the smile that tugged at Janus’s lips.

Later that evening, Remus sat on a rooftop, eyeing the city below through his reflective glasses. It’d been a quiet day, overall. Between being Mr. Starling, lawyer extraordinaire, and Dissonance, veteran hero and protector of the city, he should have enough on his plate. Weirdly enough, he found these nights to be very calming. The patrols gave him some time to clear his mind off work. And if he blew off some steam from time to time catching a bad guy, well, that was a bonus.

Tonight turned out to have more in store for him though. Remus did not have super heightened senses, or anything like that, but Dissonance’s high tech gear was enough to catch any suspicious activity in the vicinity. As such, he quickly caught sight of the thick blanket of red mist that spread through the dockside of the city, obscuring the view from above. He clicked his propeller boots together, wizard of Oz style, and took off in that direction.

A low beat filled his mind as he let the “action music” provided by his brain put him in the right mindset. He felt the power coursing through him as he soared, his heart beat in tandem with the music. The words slipped out like breathing, the song carrying him in the direction of his target. The red mist parted for just a moment as the powerful soundwave pulsed through it.

“Found you.” Dissonance smiled, pulling the built in astronaut helmet over his head, and diving down into the docks.

He got up from his awesome (and by now, well practiced) three point landing, and looked around. The place was rather empty at this time of night. Though he figured all that mist had to be coming from somewhere…

Dissonance scanned the area for a familiar figure. He focused on the thought of them, and the song that came to mind wasn’t quite what he’d been expecting, but it would do. He sang into the night air, letting his power do the rest.

“Someday out of the blue… In a crowded street, or a deserted square… I’ll turn and I’ll see you…”

Not really willing to continue the chorus, Dissonance closed his eyes and felt the familiar shifting sensation pass him like a strong wind. When he opened his eyes again, he was standing inside a warehouse. He had to wave off the red haze, but surely enough, he could see his nemesis on the other side.

The villain must’ve felt it too. They turned, and Dissonance was met with the ominous plague doctor mask, its lenses emitting a red glow. He could almost feel the smile behind that mask.

“Hello, songbird. Took you long enough.”

“Well, here I am.” Dissonance glanced around at the mostly empty warehouse. The place was dimly lit, probably due to the crappy fluorescent lamps. He tried to discern the details with the moonlight that poured through the open doors. There were a few crates here and there, but he couldn’t spot anything outright nefarious. “Am I supposed to guess why you brought me here?”

“If you want to. I love a good riddle.” Hazard jumped on top of one of the crates and sat there, legs swinging below. Their censer picking up the pace as it spun around on a chain. It eerily resembled a clock ticking, and Dissonance realised there may be more surprises waiting for him.

Dissonance studied his surroundings more attentively. He approached a pile of crates which looked pretty unassuming. He pulled on the lids and kicked them a couple of times, to no effect. Well. Maybe the sonic gun would do some damage? At least it might pick up on anything hidden… Is what he thought as he pointed his vintage raygun to the offending crates and watched as absolutely nothing happened.

Well. New plan. He turned to Hazard with his best lost puppy look and pleaded in a sing-song voice. “You sure you don’t wanna give me even a little clue? Nothing?”

“No can do, Starship Ranger.”

“You’re using Starkid against me?” Dissonance gasped.

“You’re much more charming without that whole Sandy Cheeks look.” Hazard helpfully informed him while gesturing at his helmet. Infuriatingly enough, they had a point. Dissonance’s power wasn’t quite as strong with that barrier. “But then again, so am I.”

Dissonance paled as he glanced from the red glow emanating from the censer to his increasingly smug rival. That may have been a tragic oversight on his part… If Hazard had come armed with their own charm, there was no guarantee that Dissonance would be able to resist it long enough.

“Well played,” Dissonance sighed. He took off on his boots again to get right up on Hazard’s face. Even with the helmet, he could smell the sweet incense drifting from them. “Now tell me what you want.”

Hazard leaned in even closer. Dissonance tried to keep his cool (difficult) as the villain pulled him in by the ring that connected the straps of his dress. He really should’ve thought of a more practical super suit. Problem is he was a bitch with little self control, and it landed him in situations like this. Hazard’s deep voice sounded next to his ear. Thank god for the helmet keeping him from turning into a gay puddle right then and there.

“I want you right here.”

Dissonance tried to think through his scrambled brain, that must mean something. Unless they were about to make out, and experience told him that wasn’t the case. His thoughts were interrupted, or rather, saved by a loud whistle coming from the port. A ship whistle. His eyes widened in realisation.

“Motherfuck!”

The hero pulled away from his nemesis’ grip, and flew out of the warehouse into the night. He could still feel Hazard’s eyes on the back of his neck. What a moron he was, letting himself get carried away like that. The villain’s mist had cleared enough by now that he could see the ship departing. Dissonance scanned through containers and crates until he spotted it: an orange glow coming out of a gap in the many boxes.

Dissonance shouted for the handful of people on deck to take cover. He registered the green light that passed over their eyes as all of the workers ran to a safe place. He dove as far as he could towards the glow, a ticking bomb ready to go off. He couldn’t quite reach it that far in the gap. The hero cursed and pulled up a shield.

Remus stood on shaky legs, his ears still ringing from the explosion. Through the cloud of orange smoke, he could see the warehouse getting smaller as the ship sailed away from the port. A pair of lights in the distance blinked back at him. He flipped them off.

The lights disappeared behind the smoke. When it cleared, there was nothing there.

Remus sighed and took off, flying back to the city. He wasn’t sure if he would get any sleep tonight, but it was worth the try.

And as he lay awake in bed, staring out the window at the dozens of blinking lights, he couldn’t help but imagine a pair of goggles staring back.

Chapter Text

Remus was sure he had a number of better things to do on a Saturday morning than being on the bus, fidgeting and worrying over something that, logically, shouldn’t even scare him that much. Never in 31 years had his register card changed, and he intended to keep it that way. Of course, nothing said it would change, but… The doubt always lingered at the back of his mind.

So there Remus found himself standing nervously before the big double doors of the old Mutant Affairs Division building. He only had to go there twice a year, but that didn’t make it less nerve-wracking. That meant he was under watch no matter what he did. No matter that he never did anything wrong, or criminal or as much as lifted a finger to anyone (outside of his superhero gig, of course). As usual, Remus took a deep breath and started humming quietly as he entered the building, fishing around for his card as he approached the front desk.

A man with greying hair sat at the desk, watching some football game on an old TV. He looked up as Remus entered, and his face brightened ever so slightly. Remus willed himself to relax a little and let his powers do the trick. He handed over his yellow card, which the man skimmed with little reaction, and was directed to an elevator on the right.

From there, it was the same routine, going up to the 7th floor, smiling at everyone like he didn’t hate being there, and waiting for his name to be called. He knew using his powers in a MAD office was incredibly stupid, but it also allowed him to save a lot of trouble and time. And he wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. Remus’s name was finally called and he quickly went to the appointed booth, only to be met with the sight of Margaret scowling before he even took his seat.

Great. Just what he needed to start the year, to be scrutinized by the old hag who asked too many questions and straight up hated his guts. He’d never done anything to the woman, that he recalled. He must’ve been 12 when he first sat in her damn cubicle, and from that moment forward, he had a very nasty nemesis in a government worker. Yet another reason he hated check ups.

Margaret adjusted her reading glasses and cleared her throat as if she’d just swallowed a toad (as usual). She went through the pile of papers in front of her at an agonizingly slow pace, which Remus was certain she did on purpose. By the time she slid the form his way, Remus had already grabbed the pen and started filling in the usual information. Name, birth date, marital status, occupation, badges, mutation category, guild affiliation-

“Wait. ‘Guild affiliation’?”

Margaret reluctantly looked away from her computer screen. She just stared him down.

“It’s asking if you’re associated with one of those mutant guilds.”

Remus tried his very best not to show his annoyance. “You mean the Heroes’ Guild?”

“Or otherwise.”

Oh. He did not like the sound of that.

There was only one alternative after all.

His throat felt really dry all of a sudden, and for once, he stared at the form with no idea of what to write in. “I… I thought that was confidential information?”

“Not anymore.”

Remus guessed the look on his face might’ve said something, because the old bat squinted her eyes at him, as if she was daring him to confess. Confess what, he wasn’t sure exactly, but he knew what this entailed in the end. If she thought he was a villain, she could report him and that would be it. He looked back at the form, checked the box and wrote “H.G.” with shaky hands.

Margaret collected the form and, of course, read through every line before saying another word. When she got to those two letters, Remus could swear she was almost surprised, but she hid it well with a scoff and a wave of her hand.

“Fine. You can go now.”

Remus didn’t say another word on his way out. It was only when he crossed the double doors back to freedom that he noticed he’d been clutching his card like a lifeline the entire time. He finally put it away and sighed, hiding his face in sweaty hands. He took a moment to remember where he was supposed to go.

Just as he made his way to the bus stop, he clocked a blur of movement out of the corner of his eye. He followed its direction and saw a shimmer poking out of the nearby alleyway. Making his poor decision of the day, he followed that too.

***

Roman filed his nails carefully as he prepared for the first coat of nail polish. It was a new colour, well, shade, and it went very well with the other 10 or so reds that he owned. This one was named “Kiss”, which in his mind was accurate as it reminded him of Patton’s lip gloss. He didn’t think the nail polish tasted as good, though.
The sounds of his brother groaning took Roman’s attention from the last coat of red.

“Oh, good. You’re awake.”

Remus blinked his eyes open and looked around, scrunching his nose as if he’d just sucked a sour lemon. He shifted on his seat as he tried to move with little success against the binds holding him in place.

“What the f… Oh, you dick!”

“Who, me?”

“Why the hell, Roman? The fuck did I do?”

Roman shrugged and went back to his nails. “You weren’t answering my calls.”

“I was busy!”

“It’s been a week.”

“I…well… Can you untie me now?”

Roman winced, faking sympathy and held his hand up to the light to admire his work.

“Can’t. Sorry. My nails are wet.”

“Asshole… What do you want?”

“Well, first of all, I was going to warn you about the new form, but I guess you were too busy to talk to your favourite and only brother.”

Remus looked a little sheepish, at least.

“Yeah, well, I just found out anyway… What did you write?”

“No.”

Remus had the audacity to look surprised and Roman just stared at him.

“What? You expected me to write ‘oh yes, please , arrest me’?”

“I- when you put it like that -”

“Yeah, yeah, nevermind. There’s… something else.”
Remus just tilted his head, questioning, and Roman took a minute to think of what to say.

“I… was informed recently… that someone is tailing you.”

“What… what? Someone on your guild?

“Yeah… In my division, even. I’ve dealt with that already, I just wanted to make sure you’re…” Roman trailed off, not very willing to give in to the sentimentality. “You know.”

Remus looked puzzled for a minute. He nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine… Didn’t get attacked or anything.”

Roman searched his brother’s face for anything he might be hiding, but Remus really just looked confused. That was odd. That’s not what he heard in the report.

“Alright… Good.”

He flexed his fingers and tendrils of red light flitted around Remus, setting him free. Free to fall on his face, which was even funnier.

“Ow. Thanks…”

“You’re welcome. Now shoo, I have other plans to attend to.”

Remus stopped rubbing his wrists for a moment just to smirk at him.

“Oh my god, do you have a date?”

“What? Shut up.”

“Oh, you so do!”

“And you so don’t! Now get your sorry single ass out of my face!”

“Geez, alright…”

Remus walked slowly to the door, but paused at the threshold. He glanced at a sticker glued on the bedside table, then back at Roman.

“Hoe, don’t…”

Remus glued the sticker to Roman’s forehead, and ran like hell was chasing (it was).

“Remus, you little bitch! Come back here!”

The front door slammed shut, but not before Roman slapped the sticker onto his brother’s shoulder. He laughed to himself and muttered. “Love you too, idiot…”

Chapter Text

Hazard stood alone in the pier, watching Dissonance fly away in the distance. The cold night air made him shiver even through the layers of his super outfit. He sighed, puffs of red smoke rising and dissipating in the dark. They lingered for a little longer, and turned away to find the motorbike they’d hidden in the warehouse. He had to remember to return it in the morning anyway, if it didn’t fade away by then.

The ride back uptown went rather smoothly with Art Attack’s incantation keeping him obscured from view. He kept an eye on the road and another on the blinking dots on his watch. They were nearing the target now, and he had just enough foresight to turn off the device before it pinged.

Hazard looked up at the building, unassuming from this point of view. He knew Dissonance liked to scout from above (he wasn’t very subtle about it, bright neon green outfit and all), and they suspected - or at least hoped - that the hero had taken another route back. He left the bike in the alleyway and started to work on getting up the fire escape.

It didn’t take long to spot the minion pacing on the roof. A makeshift trap was set against the railing on the left side, which, in Hazard’s opinion, was a really funny oversight on their part. How they hoped to catch an experienced hero, he did not know, but he had to admit he was confused as to why they even tried.

The minion did not notice their arrival. They had their back turned, scanning the horizon for any sign of Dissonance. Hazard crept up to them until he was an arm’s length away.

“Boo.”

The newbie nearly jumped out of their skin, stumbling as they whirled around to face him. The poor fella had to brace themself against the railing, and Hazard almost felt bad for them. Almost.

“You? H-How did you-?”

“Find you?” Hazard laughed. “Does it matter? I can smell your fear from here.”

The minion swallowed hard, eyes flitting between him and the untouched trap in the corner.

“What do you want?”

Hazard leaned over the guy, the beak of his mask nearly poking the other’s face.

“I want to know what the hell are you thinking going after my nemesis.”

A moment of silence passed, only filled by the shaky breaths of the minion beneath him. As scared as he was, the guy didn’t seem willing to talk. Instead, he pulled out a knife and tried to take a swing at Hazard, who just deflected without a flinch. He blocked every attempt until he managed to get a hold of the knife and pin the minion under his boot.

Hazard put the weapon away and pressed his boot harder on the guy’s back. They whimpered, but he didn’t move.

“Don’t do this again. Understood?”

The underling nodded quickly, and Hazard stepped back. Without another glance, he disappeared back into the night in a puff of blue smoke.

***

After poking his brother for information and receiving even less than he had to begin with, Roman was back in the HQ. He made his way into the historical building, ignoring the couple of people gawking at the old architecture and headed straight to the century old elevator. The metallic grid slid open, slowly, cranking. Roman stepped inside.

As soon as the inner door closed with a thud, he tugged open the panel hidden amidst the wallpaper. He placed his hand on the scanner, the purple light sliding up and down, and a ping sounded from unseen speakers. The illusion fell off the interior, revealing a modern and sleek elevator. A robotic voice sounded as it started to go up smoothly.

“Member identified: Art Attack. Welcome, Captain.”

Roman smiled and turned to look in the mirror as he dispelled the illusion on his own outfit. He checked his makeup and adjusted his corset, and Art Attack was ready. He was ready to deal with whatever bullshit awaited beyond the door. He righted his posture just as the elevator stopped at its destination. The doors slid open and he marched into The Villains Guild, heels tapping on the marble floor.

Other villains turned their heads as Art Attack walked by, greeting him as he went. He stopped before turning the corridor, spotting a black plague doctor’s mask at the end of the hall. He made his way over.

“Hello, dear. I didn’t see you this morning.”

Hazard turned, and in his mind Roman could see their eyes go wide, even if the mask didn’t let it show.

“I wasn’t here, yeah…”

Roman raised an eyebrow and the other just avoided his gaze. Oh, he did something for sure.

“Let’s talk in my office.”

Roman didn’t wait for an answer, but he knew Hazard would follow. Once they were both inside, he pressed a couple of buttons on the wall and closed off the room so they could have some privacy.

“Ok, what did you do?”

Hazard sighed and took off their mask. They shook their head, letting the blue hair fall back into place, and looked up at Roman with those damn pretty brown eyes of theirs.

“Don’t be mad.”

“Oh my god, Logan…”

Logan rolled his eyes. “It’s nothing absurd. I found the guy.”

Roman squinted. “The guy who attacked Dissonance?”

“Tried is the key word. They barely put any effort into it. I just… scared them off a little.”

Well. That explained it. “Is this why we’re down one minion today?”

“Hey, if they decided to not show up, that’s on them.”

“Or maybe they’re in the hospital.”

“I hardly think that’s true.”

Roman gave up on the argument, and sat at his desk. Logan joined in. As in, Roman sat in his chair, and Logan took the actual desk.

“Your bike is in the parking lot, by the way…”

Roman nodded. “It’ll fade soon.”
He pondered over his brother’s confusion, and Logan’s confession to chasing after the attacker, and he supposed it made sense. He only wished he didn’t have to deal with this on both ends.

“Alright. I’m not mad.”

“Oh, great.”

“However.”

“Oh no…”

“I need you to do something for me. Then I can let it slide.”

Logan blew a raspberry at him. “Fine. What?”

“I’m planning a heist for next week and I need you to create a diversion.”

Logan looked excited for a minute, and then betrayed.

“You’re planning a heist and you want me out of it??”

“I’m just leaving you out of the crossfire!” They huffed, and Roman added under his breath. “Besides, I’m already taking Catastrophe…”

“Oh… Yeah, I don’t wanna see that.”

“Rude?”

“Fine, I’ll be your bait. You’re welcome, I guess.”

Roman leaned forward and kissed his friend’s cheek. “Thank you, doctor.”

Logan smiled. “Not yet, but you’re very kind.”

“But soon enough!” The smile faded. “Right? Logan?”

“I… I’m not actually… I didn’t apply this year.”

“What?” Logan curled in on themself and Roman immediately regretted sounding like that. “But… On the phone, you said you had. I asked…” He sighed. “You said you were alright.”

“And I am! I just spend long enough away from home already. This would only take up more time, and on top of that, I’d have to drop my classes, and the research grant isn’t that good anyway…”

Roman listened as they rambled, but what actually worried him was what they failed to mention.

“Is that the reason or did he tell you not to do it?”

Logan stayed quiet. That was enough of an answer for him. Roman took their hand and rubbed soothing circles with his thumb.

“I’m here for you… Never forget that.”

He watched Logan trying to ease his breathing. They just sat there until they finally looked back at Roman, their eyes a nervous, familiar orange.

“I know…”

Roman opened his arms for a hug, and Logan gladly accepted it. They just tried to squeeze in the chair together, and it wasn’t quite big enough for both, but it did the trick.

After a while, Logan pulled back and wiped his eyes, now back to their normal colour.

“Tell me about the plan?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Chapter Text

Remus was hunched over a bunch of tiny mechanical pieces sprawled over the workstation. The Heroes’ Guild provided all the tech, and structure he needed to get said tech working, but unfortunately it did not provide him with the brains for it. He groaned and slumped back in his chair, glaring at the pocket raygun he’d been meaning to fix. 

He looked up as the door opened, a purple clad figure stepping in. She was huge (compared to him), and even taller with her signature rollerblades. Her fluffy violet hair bounced as she rolled inside.

“Nebula! Hey!”

“Sup.” Nebula pulled a nearby chair and sat backwards on it. Cause… she was just cool like that, it seemed. “Watcha doing?”

Remus glanced back at the bits and pieces. “Uh… Currently nothing. I tried to fix that, but…”

He shrugged. Nebula scooched closer to take a look. 

“Raygun?”

Remus stared, mouth agape, at her. “I- Yeah? How did you guess? It’s ruined.”

“It’s kind of your thing, isn’t it?” …When she put it like that… “Need some help?”

He thought of refusing. It was kind of embarrassing to say he couldn’t do it, especially to someone he’d come to admire, like Nebula. But he had to admit if he had to look at that mess for five more minutes, he was going to start crying. 

“Yeah, I’d like that…”

“Sweet. Pass the toolkit.”

Remus made himself useful by handing Nebula the tools while she reassembled the whole thing. She didn’t even look away from the - now almost complete - gun to laugh at him.

“You’re drooling, Jukebox.”

“Shit- sorry. That’s really cool, though. I never took you for a… engineering type gal.”

Nebula shrugged. “I dabble. And you? Not a fan of technology?”

“The most I can do is an Excel spreadsheet.”

“...To be honest, those are pretty difficult already, so. Good for you.” Nebula put the tools back into place and wiped her hands. She then took the small, good as new, raygun and presented it to him dramatically. “Your weapon, Sir Dissonance.”

Remus bowed his head, equally dramatically. “Much appreciated, milady. Thank you.” 

Nebula smiled and stood. “Anytime.” She paused at the door. “Oh, and, Boss wants to see you.”

Remus practically jumped out of his seat, shoving the gun back in its holster. “You could’ve led with that!”

“Sorry, man. He seemed pretty chill, though.” Nebula saw his panic and scratched the back of her neck. “As chill as the King can be anyways… You’ll manage. I uh, I’m cheering you on. From very far away.”

“Thanks…” Dissonance parted with his colleague, and resigned to his fate. Walking as if he was heading to the gallows, he made his way to King Creativity’s office.

***

Patton delayed getting out of bed as much as he could. He tried to tear his eyes away from Roman, but the daylight streaming in from the window made his brown hair a lovely caramel colour, and he couldn’t resist brushing some of it out of the other’s face with his nails. It was cozy. Painfully so. But Patton had to work, and if he was going to buy Roman a beer at the end of the week just to end up here again, it was worth it.

He slipped from under the covers with all the grace his feline abilities would allow him. This “catboy” life that God had bestowed on him had its perks sometimes. He made work of getting dressed as quietly as he could. He would love to be out before Roman even opened his eyes, but the universe was not that kind to him.

Roman stirred and rolled over to face him. Patton continued to button up his shirt.

“Kitty?”

The nickname and the low rumble of Roman’s sleepy voice did numbers on Patton’s brain. He felt his face heat and watched the flush travel all the way up to his ears, which perked up at the sound of that voice. 

“Morning…” 

Roman sat up and rubbed his eyes, squinting from the light. “Where you going?”

“To work, Ro. Remember?”

Roman ruined his plans of looking presentable by hugging his waist and hiding his face on the crook of his neck. Patton was close to melting then and there. This was getting unsustainable.

“No…” Roman grumbled. “Five more minutes…”

Deep breaths, Patton. He removed Roman’s arms and it hurt, the lack of contact weighed more than it should. 

“I’ll see you soon.”

Roman just pouted with those big green eyes of his, and it was extremely unfair. Patton gave in and kissed him goodbye. Roman tried to follow as he pulled back, but Patton held a finger to his lips. Remembering the line they were supposed to draw. He smiled.

“I’ll see you.” 

Roman watched him walk away. As usual. Not brave enough to call after him. Not weak enough to ask him to stay. He sighed and sprawled out in his bed again. It got cold so fast.

He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes as if that would do anything to get rid of the image of Patton’s smile going away. This was bad. Roman knew he should do something about it soon, but Patton was so… so warm and affectionate, and he had a life that Roman wasn’t going to ruin by being his stupid irresponsible self. 

They were friends. And Patton liked him. He was more than content with that. Except he wasn’t, and that was a problem because he couldn’t just spring up all these complicated feelings on him. He had to be cool. If Patton wanted to stay friends, that’s all they’d be. He was going to get a lovely promotion soon, and foster a bunch of adorable kids, and Roman was going to watch and be happy for him.

God, he was pathetic.

A buzz from his phone tore him out of the pity party he’d been starting. He shut his eyes at the sudden brightness, and blinked as he tried to decipher the words on the screen.

Rat

| hey. lunch later?

Roman didn’t bother to answer immediately. Remus had been ignoring him anyway. If that was his idea of an apology, he’d better sweeten the deal.

Rat

| cmon i’ll get you dessert 🥺

…Yeah, that’d do it. Roman reluctantly got out of bed for real this time, and typed back.

Princey

| you’re paying

He made his way to the shower and left his phone to charge, not waiting to see the answer.

Chapter Text

Logan checked his watch, glancing around the classroom. Half of the students still scribbled furiously, trying to get the most information down. In the back, Remy doodled on his arm, which meant he’d either been paying special attention, or he was nervous about something. Logan would have to ask.

“Ok, class, that’s it for today. Remember to review chapter 7, we’ll pick up from there next week.”

As people quickly filed out of class, he packed his bag, keeping one eye on the student who, as usual, was the last to leave. Though their plan of questioning was soon interrupted by an unfamiliar voice, shyly piping up from the door.

“Rem? Are you free to go?”

Logan looked up to see a young man, maybe in his late teens, with pastel pink hair and round glasses. They looked from one student to the other, piecing the situation together thanks to the very obvious flush on Remy’s face. So it was the latter. Got it. Logan smiled and replied.

“Yes, we’ve just finished. You can go now.”

Remy just looked all the more embarrassed, but Logan shooed him away all the same. He gathered his things and tried unsuccessfully to hide his sketched arm. 

“Coming!” Remy approached his favourite teacher with the annoyance of a child being embarrassed by a parent, even though Logan was only old enough to be his older sibling, at most. He whispered, “what are you doing? I thought we were gonna talk about the project.”

Logan waved him off. “That can wait. He’s cute and he’s waiting for you. Go.”

Remy sputtered and protested, but soon gave up and walked away to join his friend. In their mind, Logan saw vague images that he would roughly translate as “just friends”, as was Remy’s way of telling them off through his telepathy. Logan hoped that they got across how much they did not believe him, but there was no answer after that. 

The university restaurant was pretty decent, all things considered, but Logan still preferred his own cooking on most days. They sang to themself as they chopped ingredients, the words blurring with the sounds of the TV in the next room. He normally didn’t pay attention to whatever Ethan was watching, but the news unfortunately brought them back to focus.

“ -the incidents earlier this week were attributed to the local villain, Hazard. Authorities claim to have no cause for concern, as they are considered a low level threat. We talked to some eyewitnesses this morning-”

Logan immediately dropped what he was doing to rush over to gape at the TV. The offence must’ve shown on their face, as Ethan turned around to raise an eyebrow at him.

“You good?”

They did as practiced, and took a few deep breaths to cool down. Passing the anger off as just boredom would be easier than having another talk about the glowing eyes. He didn’t want more of that. Logan came over to give his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek, which he accepted with some skepticism.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just wanted to see what’s on.”

Ethan seemed to study his face for a moment, but his attention was easily drawn back to the TV. Logan slipped back to the kitchen, making sure that nothing was about to burn or bubble over, and rushed to their room, fishing for his phone. 

Roman’s contact popped up automatically, and after a couple of rings, he picked up.

“Are you watching this shit?”

Roman, still currently doing his makeup and not halfway done with getting ready to go out, didn’t quite understand the question that came a second after he accepted the call.

“Uh, probably not. What is it?”

“Turn on the news.”

“Ok, ok, fine…” Roman set down his brush and went looking for the remote. The first image on the screen was a telling replay of some security footage. The image was grainy and hard to see from all the smoke, but it was hard to miss the plague doctor’s mask and the bright blue accents of Hazard’s outfit. He listened for a minute and grimaced.

“Oh, buddy…”

“Low level threat! That’s what they said!”

Roman put the phone on speaker and resumed his makeup. “Well, that’s rude. What are you gonna do?”

“Change of plans. I’m gonna need some more materials for friday.”

“...Ok. Might be doable. What are you planning?”

Logan gathered his medicine from the nightstand as he pondered if it was time for that pill or not. He could see a line of green smoke billowing out, but it didn’t worry them. Not yet. 

“Something fun. A little magic trick I didn’t get to try yet.”

“So… Bigger than what we had?”

Logan laughed. “Doesn’t even compare. You asked for a diversion, I can do you one better.”

***

Logan admired his work, checking the intricate layout of the traps they’d set for the distraction. “Distraction” was underselling it, really, and he couldn’t be prouder of the preparation for his first big showdown. Hazard had done many ventures on their own, of course, but this was special. This was the night when he became no longer a menace, but a real threat. It was kind of exhilarating. 

They carefully prepared all of the smoke bombs beforehand, now they jingled from his belt with a satisfying sound. He secured all of the vials, and made sure to hide the controls under his capelet. When all was set and ready to go, Hazard slipped on his mask. The lenses already shone like beacons of green, and he exhaled calmly, letting the smoke fill the room like sneaking tendrils, mixing with the shadows and casting strange shapes along the walls. This would do nicely.

***

Virgil’s watch had been pinging like crazy over the past half hour. She had a guess as to why. Art Attack had been mysteriously absent the past week, and it was just like him to disappear for a few days and come back with something bigger, stupider, and more dangerous for her to deal with. She donned her Nebula getup, fluffed up her hair and slipped on the mask. According to the notifications, there was some suspicious activity going on in the side streets around the local park. She set off in her rollerblades, occasionally teleporting through short distances when she hit traffic. 

The city lights blurred as Nebula zoomed past, her hair flowing in the wind. The watch didn’t stop pinging for some reason, and the alerts kept spreading out. It didn’t hit her all at once, but there was something different to the air. Everywhere she looked now, there was a green tint clouding her vision, like a setting from a John Wick movie. The watch kept pinging. Nebula followed the ominous green, now more like a thick fog that gathered at the edges of her vision, to the backstreet by the park.

She slowed her pace, taking it in. Scanning around for any signs of paint, or glittery red dust, or- there! Nebula rolled over to the splatters of neon blue paint on the floor, following their trail… to a big triangle with an exclamation point inside of it. A Hazard sign. Goddammit…

“Hey, girl.”

Nebula’s eyes snapped up to the unfamiliar voice and found a pair of green lenses staring down at them. She was fairly certain Dissonance had mentioned Hazard’s aesthetic was all black and blue. 

“Hazard…?”

Hazard bowed their head with a flourish. 

“In the flesh. And you’re Nebula! Honestly, big fan. Don’t tell Art Attack I said that.”

“Right… Speaking of. He’s not around?”

“Haven’t seen him.” They shrugged, “Guess you’re stuck with me for a night!”

Now Nebula understood what Dissonance meant. Hazard’s mask was dark and motionless, but that somehow did not make them any less expressive. She could practically hear them smiling with glee. The watch pinged again, making her glance at the screen. The red dots were all over, but she was already in the area and it was quiet as it could be. That made no sense.

“By the way, have you ever played battleship?”

Odd question. Concerning. Nebula snapped out of her thoughts.

“I- what?”

“You will now.”

Nebula sighed and rolled forward. “Listen, I don’t have time for-”

A blast sent her flying backwards before she could finish. She laid there stunned for a second, more from the shock than the pain.

“What… the hell was that?”

“Battleship, were you not listening? My turn.”

Nebula had to scramble to her feet as a high pitched ringing announced the next explosion. It wasn’t quite as big, but as she glanced back, orange smoke was swirling out of a completely seared spot on the ground behind her. 

“Battleship… right. You did say that.” She turned back to the villain. Hazard was still sitting on top of a wall, old and cracked in places, but looking sturdy enough. For now. She grinned. “My turn then.”

The hero held a hand out to the wall and closed her fist in a crushing motion. The rocks were engulfed in purple light, getting brighter and brighter until the whole structure imploded on itself, sending Hazard tumbling down and out of sight for a moment. 

The dust cleared out… and there was no sign of Hazard. The laughter pierced Nebula’s ears before she could celebrate. It came from the other direction, though. She rolled around to find them, much to her frustration, standing across from her, unscathed. The green lenses seemed to flare for a moment. 

“Cool move! You missed, though.”

Green smoke swirled from under the mask, and it spread until they could no longer see the ground. 

This was going to take longer than she thought.