Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nick is climbing a tree and hanging from it, upside down. He’s got a branch locked between his knees as he swings a bit idly. Nick likes their backyard, it's fun and the trees are good for climbing. He likes to run around too, the grass is good for that. It’s June, he’s on summer break in between second and third grade. He’s outside while his dad is inside watching some TV show that Nick thinks is weird, so he went out without telling him. His dad doesn't really get onto him about that as much as his mom does. His mom’s out at the grocery store right now, getting stuff for dinner.

He likes running around a lot but he does wish he had friends to run around with too. People don't like him going around their kids because he smells like weed and dresses like his dad and mom do, which is cool and punk! His dad’s a cool rockstar and Nick wants to be like him someday. His dad plays the guitar mostly but he taught Nick how to play drums and he loves it. Making loud noises and rhythms by slamming sticks down repeatedly is very fun. But other people don't like that he does because he doesn't act like girls are supposed to. He doesn't wear dresses or skirts and he roughhouses and calls people names when he's mistreated. People say he isn't like a girl should be but Nick doesn't even know what girls are supposed to be like.

His mom tells him that being a girl doesn't mean listening to narcs and conformists and it just means being however he wants to be. But Nick isn't too sure he wants to be a girl, which is confusing. But right now none of that matters because Nick is hanging from a tree and trees are cool and the blood is rushing to his head.

Nick goes to get down safely, by grabbing the branch and getting back over it, but his leg slips and his grip is lost. He twists a bit and falls to the ground. He hears a snap and then gasps. His body hurts from the fall, landing on a few rocks but mostly just earth. Then, his arm starts to scream at him in pain, aching terribly and he wants to cry. He groans a little from where he’s laid on the ground and shifts, his arm hurting even more. His eyes start to water and tears fall down his face but he stays quiet. Ow.

He looks down at his arm and it flops a little, looking all red and bad. Nick frowns deeply as tears fall down his face and he moves to get up, using his uninjured arm to hoist himself off the ground. He wobbles a bit as he stands and tried to bite back a sob from the pain screeching from his arm. He walks to the door, holding his hurt arm in one hand. He pauses to open the door and he walks in seeing his dad sitting on the couch with a blunt in one hand. He's focused on the TV as a laugh track plays and he huffs a laugh, looking down at his phone for a second. Nick frowns deeply, his lip wobbling.

“Dad?” He says, his voice cracking a little.

“One minute, doll.” His dad responds, looking at his phone and typing something on it, putting the blunt in his mouth.

“Um…but-” He says.

“Just a second, okay, I’ll be right there, Dad’s just got to finish this.” Nick frowns and holds his arm to his chest and sniffles a little. The front door unlocks and Nick looks up to it and walks over as his mom walks in, a few grocery bags in hand. She's humming the tune of a rock song that Nick is vaguely familiar with.

“Hey rockstar,” She says as she glances quickly at Nick only for a second before rounding to the kitchen. “Babe! I’m gonna start dinner soon so shut that shit off!” She sets down her bags and Nick follows her, he sniffles again and tries to wipe the tears from his face with his other arm.

“Okay! Just a second!” Nick’s dad responds. She turns back to Nick and gasps.

“Oh-” She crouches down in front of him and brings a hand to his cheek. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Nick gestures to his arm and she takes it in her hands. Nick yelps a bit in pain and she breathes in sharply through her nose. “Fuck…okay, did you fall outside?” Nick nods and he starts to cry harder. “Glenn! Melody fell!” She shouts as Nick starts to sob. Nick looks back to see his dad's face pop around in the doorway and he looks to Nick with wide eyes before cursing and getting down next to his wife.

“Oh, Mel…is that why you needed me? Shit okay, I’m sorry.” He starts to say, biting at his lip. Nick’s mom rubs a hand on his back gently. His dad looks to the arm that Nick has cradled “Is it broken? Can you move your arm?” Nick sniffles again.

“I-It hurts a lot,” Nick says, his lip trembling. “I was in the tree, I’m sorry…” His mom frowns and kisses his forehead.

“Don’t apologize, baby.” She says. “Glenny can you go start the car, let's get her to the ER and get it checked out.” Nick’s dad turns on his feet but before standing up properly he puts a hand on his wife’s shoulder.

“Do you think we can afford that?” Nick can tell that his dad is whispering it only to his mom but he's so close to both of them that it doesn't matter.

“I’ll talk to the landlord about rent later…she needs to be looked at, babe.” Nick’s dad nods and squeezes his mom’s shoulder before standing and leaving the room. Nick’s mom takes him into her hands and lifts him off the ground, he shoves his face into her neck and cries more as she shushes him gently and brings him out the car.

Nick gets a cool cast afterwards, so the pains worth it, and he asks his mom to paint it. She does and she makes it look really cool with skulls and spikes and all. His dad says he’s coolest kid in the multiverse and Nick doesn't really know what that means but it must be pretty cool.

Chapter Text

Nick stretches his arms out a little, standing in the soccer field a little ways away from where the other kids on the team are standing. He's been on the West Rock Elementary’s soccer team for a few months now, and he knows that his entire existence became controversial when he joined. A lot of the parents took their kids off the team, and Nick knows Coach Darnell had to deal with some if not most of the backlash. Nick felt a little bad, he even debated just leaving but Darnell had assured him he was welcome there. Which was surprisingly kind, Nick thought Darnell was pretty cool anyway.

The Oak-Garcia twins are wrestling each other a few feet away from Nick and it makes him pause for a second as he starts to run after the ball. They were at practice, playing a scrimmage. But he was a bit nervous just because Glenn was there, watching from the stands with some of the other parents. He’d insisted on driving him today for some odd reason, so here they are. The two younger boys in front of Nick always found ways to tackle each other in a game where tackling is very much not involved, and it confused him to be honest. But, Nick huffs a bit and turns in time for the soccer ball to be kicked up in the air and hit him directly in the face at full force.

“OH! NICK!” Someone shouts as he falls backwards, landing on his back. He blinks a bit and coughs, sitting up. His nose burns with pain and he feels dazed, black spots along his vision slowly fade away and he looks around. The ball is rolling steadily away from him. Nick looks up to see Coach Darnell running towards him, he looks panicked and is staring at Nick with wide eyes. “Hey there, kid.” He says as he crouches down next to him.

“Hi,” Nick responds, he brings a hand to his face and touches blood coming from his nose. “Ah fuck.” He says. Coach Darnell chuckles a bit and offers him a hand. Nick hesitates for a second before taking it. He stands up with the help of Darnell and looks around the field and to the bleachers. Where's Glenn? Why isn't he there anymore?

“Let's get you a towel or something for the nosebleed, alright?” Darnell says, speaking softly. Nick nods a bit and it makes his head ache as he does, he groans a little, putting a hand to his head. Christ, it's like he got punched.

“Yeah okay, cool.” Nick mumbles as Darnell puts a hand on his shoulder and leads him off the field. As they get closer to the bleachers Nick realizes Glenn is gone. God dammit. Darnell doesn't even ask about it though, most likely just used to Nick not having a parent with him for practices and games.

Darnell has him sit down on the bench near the gates around the field and he kneels, then takes out a roll of paper towels from his bag, tearing a few pieces of it and setting the roll down next to where Nick was sitting. He kicked his feet a little mindlessly. He didn't really know how to respond to the help, and getting hit still had him a bit out of it, so he stays quiet. He doesn't want this to be some weird trick, an obversion of his expectations that had slowly become something…well expected in his life. Why did his dad leave? Was he coming back? Why did he insist on being here if he was just going to go?

Nick misses his mom. She would watch his soccer games all the time if she was here, he doesn't doubt it. Fuck. Why does he have to think about his dead mom now? Nick picks at the bottom seam of his jersey and Darnell shifts on the ground.

“Okay, here, put that over it.” He says, handing the towels to Nick. Nick takes them and covers his nose with them. What were you supposed to do with bloody noses again? Look up right? Nick moves to do so. “Woah! No! No! You're supposed to look down when your nose is bleeding, you might choke if you do that-” Darnell cuts in, making Nick jump a little. “Sorry, okay.” Darnell frowns a bit and the man puts his hand on the back of Nick’s head, the other taking the towel from Nick’s hand and gently leaning his head down. Nick blinks a little, confused. “There you go, you're being such a rockstar, you know?” Darnell ruffles his hair a little and Nick feels tears prick at his eyes.

His head and face hurts and he's already upset because of Glenn leaving when he promised he’d be there. He insisted! Why does Nick keep thinking that he’s cool enough to get his dad’s attention? He wishes mom was here, because she’d be around and she’d say she’s proud of him. They’d all watch a movie and eat Chinese takeout together and then listen to dad rant about how the government is trying to brainwash them or something and Nick would watch mom roll her eyes at him and give Nick the rest of her dumplings. Oh, Nick’s crying now isn't he. Thats lame of him.

“Hey, kiddo it's okay!” Darnell says. “You’re okay, promise.” Coach Darnell calls him ‘kiddo.’ For some reason that sticks out to Nick. Because Glenn never does that kind of thing anymore. Nick isn't ‘Doll’ or ‘Kiddo’ Or ‘Lovebug’ Nick knows that some of those he didn't like that much because they were more girly and his dad called him it when he was younger and when he was Melody and not Nick, but it's better than what it is now. Nick is just ‘Man’ or ‘Dude.’ Nick misses when mom would come home and kiss him and dad’s cheeks and call them her little rockstars. Nick would swat her away and dad would laugh, he’d retort and say. ‘Hey! I’m not little.’ and she would snort and kiss him on the forehead. ‘Yeah but this one is,’ Then she’d ruffle Nick’s hair and his dad would watch her as she left the room with eyes filled with a love and adoration that Nick hasn't seen his dad look at anyone but mom and him with. Now, he hasn't seen that look in years.

But its fine. Right? It's cool. Nick is completely cool about it. About the grief and the change and being alone all the time and having to deal with crazy people calling him names because of something he can't change about himself, and then getting home and not even having to lie and say his day was fine because Glenn doesn't even ask. Nick starts to cry harder and he hugs his middle tightly. Coach Darnell pets his hair a little, gently, and it makes Nick want to die because how long has it been since someone has done that? He looks up and meets Darnell’s eyes, he looks worried and sad. He opens his arms up, offering a hug and Nick takes it. Maybe it's lame of him, but he's too upset and tired to care.

Darnell lets him sit out for the rest of practice. Glenn comes back eventually, and he's stumbling a bit on his feet, laughing a lot as he spots Nick from where he's sitting on the bench. He points a finger gun at him with raised eyebrows and Nick, his face bruised and his eyes red and puffy from crying, returns it. A weak and fake grin on his face.

“Hey man,” Glenn says, sitting down next to him. His eyes are red too, but Nick knows it's for a different reason. “What happened to your nose?” Nick laughs, and it's fake.

“Got nailed in the face,” Nick explains, pointing to his nose. He’s grinning and his heart is beating fast. His hands are shaking. Glenn huffs out a laugh.

“Getting out of practice, huh?” He nudges Nick with a knowing grin. Nick tries to match it, tries to act like it is knowing. That Nick was just trying to get out practice.

“Fuck yeah,” Nick says, his voice cracks a little but Glenn doesn't notice, or maybe he just doesn't say anything about it. Nick is slumped over a bit and his dad holds out a hand for a fist bump, he returns it.

This is fine.

Chapter Text

Nick was pretty psyched right now. His dad had found him, which he was kind of shocked happened as quickly as it did, and now they were hanging out together with the Watermice and Ellory. He had quickly become a part of their ragtag group of nobodies and it was pretty fucking cool. Drugs and stealing and all of that? Cool as hell. He’s trying to convince himself that the situation he’s in is pretty fucking cool, because if he thinks to hard about how he’s lying to his dad to try to get him to stick around for longer he might freak out and freaking out is lame.

They were supposed to be gathering flowers to make some sick ass blunts for when they invade the Red Barons hide out, so Nick was crouched down in the meadow, grabbing at the flowers that they needed. Glenn was on the other side with the twins’ dad, Henry, as well as Terry’s weird stepdad, Ron. Which left Grant’s shitty dad and assistant coach to the soccer team, Darryl, right near Nick. He was trying to ignore how the man kept looking at him with a weird expression. Nick has always felt weird around catholics.

Maybe that's partially because of the weed stuff and how opposite his and Glenn’s lives were to them, and partially because Nick’s trans. He's almost certain the guy could smell it off of him, thats why the looks were making Nick’s skin crawl a little. Nick wasn't that subtle about being transgender, most of his teammates know. Hell, Grant knows! But Grant’s pretty cool if Nick has to say so himself. Plus Grant’s gay, so there’s some solidarity there. But Nick knows he isn't out to his dad yet, so there’s reasons to be cautious. Glenn doesn't care, so Nick has that at least.

Nick is looking through the flowers, trying to find a specific color to add more of to his bundle. They want them to be evenly divided to He’s focusing more on that. He's more so near the edge of the woods and there's a bush behind him, and he's made more aware of it when he stands and stumbles back, falling into the bramble with a small shout. He lands hard on the prickly thorns, piercing his palms and landing on his wrist weirdly, a rock beneath him. Something cuts along his face too and he hisses as he stands up and scoots away from the bush. Fuck, stupid clumsy idiot, there you go.

He sits down in the grass and flowers, looking at his hands when he hears footsteps coming towards him. He looks over and sees Darryl approaching. Nick stands up and hides his hands behind his back quickly.

“Nick! You okay kid? Looks like you took a bad fall there.” He says, looking a bit worried. Nick looks around a bit and shrugs.

“I’m fine, everything's cool.” Nick says, he can feel blood dripping from a cut on his cheek. Darryl gives him a look that tells him he won't be taking that as an answer. Overbearing dickhead.

“You're bleeding,” He says. Nick’s eye twitches a little, why is this guy bothering him? Can’t he just piss off? Nick’s handling this, even if his wrist is throbbing and he can feel blood dripping down his hand as he's digging his nails into his palm.

“It's just a scratch,” Nick says. He realizes then that he had dropped his small bouquet of flowers as he fell and he curses under his breath. Great.

“We have a kit back in the van, just let me put a bandaid on it alright? You’ve got some scratches on your legs too.” Darryl insists. Nick looks over to where Glenn is. He’s snickering and talking to Henry about something, pointing at some of the flowers in his hands. Henry is laughing along with him, shaking his head. Why is he talking to the shitty hippy guy? Nick couldn't believe that his dad was acting so friendly with these guys like they weren't talking the night before the tournament about how lame they are. What happened? Why did Nick not understand what his dad was thinking anymore? Nick huffs and looks back to Darryl. “Please? Let me help you out?”

“Jesus Christ..yeah whatever, man.” Nick rolls his eyes and Darryl sighs a little, gesturing for Nick to follow him back to the van. Nick tucks his bloody hands into the pockets of his jacket as he follows the tall man through the meadow. Glenn doesn't even notice them leave.

Nick sits down in the trunk of the van as Darryl instructs, not wanting to bug the guy even more because it’s somehow more unbearable when he looks at Nick with that weird look in his eyes. Nick folds his arms around his chest self consciously. He has his binder on but somehow that makes it worse.

“You know, I won’t lie.” Darryl starts to say as he’s leaned down and going through his first aid kit. “This? The drugs?” He gestures with a finger to the meadow around them. “Not my thing. But, it's nice to see you and your dad getting along.” He speaks and Nick stares at him as he takes out a box of bandaids and bandages.

“Yeah,” Nick says, shrugging. “It's nice to see him again I guess.” Darryl gives him that weird look again and Nick averts his gaze.

“You don't see your dad much, do you?” Nick wasn't expecting that. He looks at the man and shrugs again, rolling his eyes. Darryl just nods at him and starts putting a few bandaids and Neosporin on the cuts on Nick’s legs. There's only a few and he’s done fairly quickly. “Let me see your hands.” Nick blinks, staring at the man. “I know your hands are hurt, let me put some bandages on them.” Nick frowns a bit and untucks his arms from around his chest. He’s slumped over and it's making it more harder to breathe with the combination of the binder he’s been wearing non stop since early this morning, and the fact he's slightly panicking. He hates it when adults look so closely at him, not just because he's trans but because he hates it when people try to understand him. To dissect him. He can tell Darryl is trying to figure him out and he hates it. “Ah…that’s a bit bad there,” Darryl mumbles.

He isn't wrong, Nick realizes. His hands are bloody from the cuts along his fingers and palm. His right wrist is already bruising and red from when he twisted it on the rock. Nick chews at his lip awkwardly and dares to look back up at Darryl. He doesn't look angry, and Nick doesn't know why he thought he might be. The gruff man just looks worried, and as if he's thinking too hard about something.

“Is there like…something wrong with it?” Nick finds himself whispering, his tone less…well, ‘Nick.’ He sounds small. Nick frowns at himself. Darryl looks up and meets his eyes, his eyebrows raised. It's hard to read his expression through his thick beard but Nick tries nonetheless.

“I mean, your hands are all bloody and hurt so that's definitely something that’s wrong.” Darryl explains, gesturing at Nick’s hands. “But not bad enough that we can't patch em up!” Darryl claps his hands and smiles. Nick nods and suppresses the urge to call him something rude. Woo! Look at him go! Self control baby!

“Uh yeah, cool.” Nick shrugs again, swinging his feet over the edge of the Odyssey van. Darryl hums to himself a bit, biting his thumbnail.

“Hold on, do you mind if I get Henry over? He can do this thing with his hands where he can heal you? I don't know his eyes go all green and shit.” Darryl gestures a bit more as he talks. He definitely talks with his hands way too much, it's sort of distracting, but Nick just looks away from him, staring at his hands.

“Yeah, it's whatever. Just don't make a big thing about it…” Nick says, back to his usual tone. “And uhm, don't tell Glenn.” Nick adds without thinking. The look that goes over Darryl is one of stress and worry and Nick panics. “I just! Uh! I don't want him to get all weird over some cuts, yeah?” Nick laughs a bit as he tries to cover it up. He just doesn't want his dad seeing him being taken care of like a little kid. Thats lame as fuck, Nick doesn't want Glenn to think he's lame. Darryl looks convinced enough and nods, calming a little. He stands and walks back towards the meadow, leaving Nick alone.

Nick suddenly finds himself trying not to cry. It’s been a few weeks since all of this shit went down, a few weeks since he’d been taken to Meadowshade and figured out he wasn't on Earth anymore. Suddenly he’d become thrust into a situation he thought only lived in movies and fiction. It was stressful, and he's been trying not to get so upset about it. He's strong and he's cool, he's chill about this. Nick Close is chill.

He can hear Henry’s obnoxious voice as the two men walk back over to the van and Nick takes in a deep breath and folds his legs up beneath him. He bites the inside of his cheek as they come into view.

“You know Darryl it does tend to get suspicious when you drag me away from the others in such a situation! Especially since we have all of this stuff to get done to help Nicholas and all the drug flowers around…it can be concerning and confusing for the others and I think clear communication might be a better choice and- OH MY GOSH!” Henry stops in his tracks as he looks at Nick’s wounded hands. Darryl who’s standing behind the blonde man shakes his head with agitation. Nick feels the urge to hide his hands behind his back again but Henry has already seen them so who the fuck cares. “Oh geez! Nick! Are you alright?”

“Yeah, Henry, this was the thing I needed you for.” Darryl says, and he sounds as exasperated as Henry’s entire existence makes Nick feel, and that at least brings him some sense of comfort. Henry walks over to Nick and then pauses for a second, he looks distraught and frazzled but that's how the man usually looks, but the way he pauses and stares at Nick for a second as his expression shifts into something unreadable makes Nick curl in on himself again. It’s like everyone around can just tell that there's something off with Nick, something wrong. Whether that be his gender or just…everything about him.

“Can I touch you?” Henry asks, smiling a little awkwardly. “I can help heal your hands, but I have to touch you for it to work…if that's not okay I think there's something else I can do…” Henry mumbles a bit, biting his lip and tapping his fingers together repeatedly. Nick blinks a bit, taken aback? Maybe.

“Uh yeah, sure.” Nick says. He tries not to cry again when Henry cups his hands in his own, leaning back a bit in some kind of discomfort. His hands sting a little but then green light starts emitting from Henry’s hands and Nick’s own hands start to feel better. Henry smiles at him as he quickly but gently puts Nick’s now healed hands down. Nick, not used to…whatever that was, just stares at his hands for a second and flexes his fingers.

“See, told you. Weird hand thing,” Darryl speaks, shrugging. Nick looks to him and grimaces.

“Well- maybe don't word it like that, Darryl.” Henry cuts in. Darryl goes red and looks away from him. Nick rolls his eyes. “Ah- wait.” Henry says go Nick as he moves to get up. The man turns back to him and leans in. He pokes Nick’s cheek. “Boop.” He whispers and Nick stares at him weirdly, but then he remembers the cut on his cheek and goes to touch it, but it’s gone. Henry smiles and claps his hands together. “Gee, I think I’m getting the hang of this whole weird magic stuff, Darryl!” Henry starts to talk and Darryl laughs a bit. Nick gets out of the van and just walks away back to the field.

Back to picking flowers, and ignoring whatever the fuck just happened. The twins dad is somehow even weirder and annoying than them, Darryl Wilson is weird and kind of a narc, but he's not that bad, and Nick needs to stop being so fucking clumsy. That’s what he takes from this situation.

Chapter Text

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” A loud bang echoes through the castle as Willy slams his fist down on the table. Nick falls back, just from the shock of how goddamn loud the guy yelled. Nick looks past the bearded man to see Barry and Bill looking annoyed. Barry is frowning, he's rubbing a hand along one arm. Neither are making eye contact with Nick, or looking in the direction of Willy. “I ASK YOU ONE THING? ONE THING? AND YOU FUCK IT ALL UP!! IT WAS SIMPLE!” Willy is clenching his fist, it still rests on the table and his eyes glow a faint purple.

Nick was asked to grab a few empty potion bottles from the storage room, he’d fucked up apparently. Grabbed the wrong bottle even though Willy hadn't even specified that there was a right bottle. Nick shifts where he sits on the cold ground of the castle, shuffling back a little. Willy pinches his nose bridge, and the silence in the room echoes as much as the yelling does. Nick feels himself trembling, he's waiting for something bad to happen, something worse.

Nick moves to stand, possibly run upstairs to where his and the rest of the boys’ cells rooms are. Somewhere to hide. Willy moves quickly and grabs him by the collar of his jacket, Nick freezes, he can't move. He's looking at Nick with a look that spells out violence, something sadistic. Nick tries to get out of his grip, grabbing at his hands.

“Stop fucking wriggling,” Willy says through his teeth, Nick’s breathing is getting quicker and he needs to get out and run, he needs to go but this bastard won't let him go. He misses earth, he misses his dad. Fuck this.

“Don't you think this may be…unproductive?” The calm and collected voice of Barry chimes in from behind Willy. His arms, which are covered in gold jewelry and weird arm bands that have green leave details around them, are folded against his chest. The cloak, which they all wear, is shrugged up with his shoulders.

Nick wonders silently, while hanging a foot or two off the ground by Willy’s grip, if the robes were a coincidence and they all just happened to shop at the same clothing store and share an interest in torturing and kidnapping middle schoolers.

“Yeah? Is it really, Barry?” Willy asks, looking over at the blonde man. His grip loosens a little around Nick’s collar. Nick takes his hands away and slowly moves them towards himself. Barry frowns a bit.

“You're always so tense, Will. Maybe you should take some time to breathe, maybe do some yoga.” Barry goes on, an unnerving smile curls at his lips, he brings his fingers up towards his face as he temples them. Fucking creep.

“Don't call me that.”

“To be fair your name does sound like a synonym for dick.” Bill chimes in, taking out a cigarette pack from his pocket. Nick is lucky that he’s able to stop himself from snorting. Willy’s grip loosens even further and he huffs out a laugh, but it's without humor and is filled with something sadistic that makes Nick’s skin crawl. Nick is able to get one of his hands out of the jacket as Willy keeps his focus on the other two men in the room.

“You really want to test me right now, Bill?” Willy snarls. Bill makes eye contact with Nick, and something crosses his expression, something similar to pity. Nick doesn't need some stupid old mans pity, he doesn't need the assholes who kidnapped him and have been starving him and his friends, the shitheads who made Sparrow cry for a whole night, who made Terry stay up all night cleaning the floors, who swear to be better than their fathers, to even try to show him some kind of remorse. Pity. Hah. Nick keeps the eye contact, glaring at the man, as he slips out of his jacket completely and lands on his feet.

His cleats make a loud clacking sound as they hit the stone ground and Willy immediately turns around. Nick has never been as scared of an adult as much as he is now. Sure, he's been pissed at them, been annoyed by them, thought they were stupid assholes. Fuck authority! But, he's never been as filled with as much fear as he is now. Everything in this moment tells him that Willy is going to kill him. Actually kill him, crush his skull, strangle him, something.

So, Nick does as any scared kid his age, who has barely any muscles on him, is wearing a chest binder that makes his lungs, which are already damaged from pre-mature smokers lung, heave and hurt, is barely five feet tall, and is scared shitless, would do. He runs.

Nick has been playing soccer for about three years now, and maybe that adds to why he’s able to run fast enough for Willy’s hand to only swipe at his soccer jersey and not actually grab him again. Maybe thats why he’s able to get up the stairs, going two at a time. But, Nick is not Terry Jr. who has a great kick and long legs, and he is also not Grant, who has even more sports skills from growing up with Darryl Wilson as a father. So that's probably why he gets grabbed by a strong arm going around his neck and holding him in a tight headlock.

Nick claws at Willy’s arm, he can’t breathe like this, his chest is already in pain, his lungs hacking like an old timey car engine. Some part of his panicked brain is brought back to the time when Lark had been being loud while he and Sparrow were in one of the rooms, and when Willy had come to yell at them to shut up the kid had sunk his sharp teeth into the mans hand hard enough to make him bleed. So, Nick does exactly that, he bites down on Willy’s forearm, as well as digging his fingernails into his skin. Willy yells out in anger, and drops him.

“WHAT IS WITH YOU LITTLE SHITS AND THE GODDAMN TEETH?!” Willy screams out. Nick books it down the hall, running into his room, not really knowing where else to go. He just needs to get away from Willy. Immediately as he gets past the doorway the magical barrier appears, purple shimmery translucent bars showing up to trap Nick inside. Nick falls back, his back hitting the edge of his dirty cot. Nothing in the room but said cot.

Willy’s figure was shown between the bars as he steps to look at Nick from where he's sitting on the ground. He’s hyperventilating, his body trembling. God he just wants his dad.

Willy stands slumped over, his entire body engulfed in the cloak besides his face where the nastiest scowl Nick has ever seen on someone's face is shown. His long salt and pepper hair is a little in his face, which adds to the crazed look. Nick finds himself thinking as he stares at the ragged man; It’s sad, being that angry all the time. It must be lonely. Nick shakes his head free of it though. People that angry deserve to be alone.

“You little brat.” Willy says and Nick knows as he walks away that he won't be getting any dinner tonight. He wonders when he’ll be able to leave, but honestly he doesn't care, because at least there's something in between him and that monster that society calls a man. Nick curls up, ducking his head between his knees as he tries to calm his breathing.

Fuck. He lost his jacket too, it gets cold at night, there's no blankets on the cot. What now?

“Nick,” He jumps at the sound of his name coming from the cot, he stumbles back on his feet. Watching as Terry Jr. crawls out from beneath the bed. “Hey, sorry.” He whispers, scratching at the back of his neck.

“Wh-” Nick blinks at him a little then looks towards the doorway quickly. Nothings there, no one.

“I was looking for you when I heard the yelling, so I hid.” Terry shrugs a little and the older tall lanky boy suddenly seems so small. That look of fear, distress, the ones that have come to be familiar. Nick bites at his nails a bit, the chipped black polish he had on them when they entered the realm is almost completely gone. “Are you okay?” Terry’s bleached dreadlocks fall in his eyes a little and he doesn't go to brush them away.

“Uhm…” Nick is struggling to respond, to speak, to disoriented. He's still trembling, and he's pretty sure he's crying but it's hard to tell with his senses overloaded as much as they are right now. He curls up a little, trying to hide his face with his hands.

Terry frowns a little with a worried expression. He shifts a bit forward and hesitates as he comes closer to Nick.

“Can I hug you?” He asks. Nick pauses, looks up at him. He nods, trembling as he does so. Terry Jr. smiles softly and moves to hold Nick in his arms. Nick lays his head against the older boy’s chest, hiding his face. Terry’s shaking too, and his heartbeat isn't as calm as he's letting on, but Nick expects it. This place is terrifying.

Nick wonders what Glenn would do, if he was here. He’d probably pull some epic plan to escape and find his own way back to the dads. Nick isn't him, and he finds that makes him feel hopeless. Because he can't get out, he can slip out of a jacket and run up a staircase, but he can't leave, obviously. Nick hopes that the dads are coming back to get them, he begs that this won't become their life.

Terry shifts a little and Nick ends up slightly sitting in his lap, curled up against him. Terry feels like sanity right now, and Nick is gripping onto him as he shakes and cries, silently. He can't be loud or else Willy will come back.

“He's an asshole,” Terry whispers.

“Y-yeah,” Nick responds. He sniffles a bit.

“One day we'll get out of here, and he won't be able to yell at us any longer.”

“You sure we’ll be able to? To leave?” Terry pauses and he brings a hand to Nick’s head, his fingers going through Nick’s red dyed hair. Nick leans into the touch, because he’s tired and Terry is way too nice for his own good. Before this stupid soccer tournament turned inter-dimensional hostage situation, Nick barely knew him at all. He was aware of his existence because of soccer but he was always so pissed off that Nick never thought to approach the guy. Whatever happened when they were all separated must have changed how he thinks, because he just seems to exhausted to be mad. When he’d arrived at the castle he was sobbing into his hands.

It’s weird because Nick would have never considered becoming friends with any of the people in this group, he’d never thought he’d care so much about them. Enough to yell back at Willy when he made Sparrow cry along with Lark. Enough to help Terry wash the blood and viscera off of Grant’s face and out of his hair while he sat in a catatonic state. Terry sighs, but it’s not a sigh of hopelessness, he just sounds tired.

“Yeah,” He says. “I think we will.”

Chapter Text

Nick opens his eyes slowly, and realizes that he’s not sleeping on those god awful cots in the castle anymore. He’s actually on a bed, with blankets. It’s still dark outside, and someone must have blown the candles out after he’d fallen asleep. Which he did almost immediately after lying down in the bed, finally going to bed without an empty stomach. Nick turns over a little, to face the ceiling, and the windows cast moonlight into the room and Nick can see his dad, sleeping next to him. Nick has always missed Glenn whenever he wasn’t home, but everything that happened at the castle made him miss his dad even more. Nick begins to sit up and shifts awkwardly when he realizes his shorts feel grossly wet. Fun.

He goes to stand up from the bed and use the bathroom, when he pauses for a second. He hasn’t gotten his period yet this month has he. Nick wants to tear his hair and then possibly his uterus out with his bare hands. He frowns in the dark and gets off the bed, slowly to not wake any of the other people sleeping in the room. He looks down at where he was lying before and luckily there doesn’t seem to be a stain on the sheets. His dad shifts in his sleep, mumbling something that Nick can’t make out, but he freezes. He can hear Darryl snoring from the bed next to him too, but otherwise no one seems to be awake, so he starts to step towards the door.

He’s pretty sure he saw a bathroom down the hall but the individual inn rooms don’t have any. One of the floorboards creaks as he goes to open the door and he freezes again. He hears shuffling and he bites the inside of his cheek.

“Nick?” He hears a hushed whisper from the bed nearest to the door, where the Wilsons plus Paeden are sleeping. He turns to see Grant’s shadowy outline sitting up a little. “What’re you doing?”

“Bathroom,” He whispers back. That seems to be a good enough answer for Grant because he lays back down.

“Be quick.” Grant responds. When all five of them were in Ravenloft they had a system of always telling at least someone where you’re going if you’re going alone. They had started doing it after Terry had gotten locked in Nick’s room with him for a day or two and Willy had lost his shit when he noticed. Nick opens the door to the room and steps out into the hallway. He can hear soft clinking and conversation coming from the tavern/bar area downstairs, but otherwise it’s mostly silent. The hallway is lit with candlesticks mounted on the wall and he’s able to find the bathroom more easily than it was to try to get out of the room.

He gets to the bathroom door and moves to open it.

“Nick!” Nick jumps three feet into the area and falls over. “Oh geez! I’m sorry,” He looks up to see Henry Oak standing in front of him. He looks worried and frazzled, but Nick is pretty sure thats just how he always looks. “I saw you walking down and just wanted to make sure everything's alright.” Nick stands, dusting his knees off.

“Yeah, I’m cool. Just…bathroom.” Nick says, pointing back at it. Jesus his ribs hurt. He’s suddenly conscious of the fact his shorts are stained and he starts to panic even more. Why does the world hate him?

“Ah, alright. Usually when we’re in these kinds of places we do the buddy system with the bathroom? Just because there are a lot of threats and you never know! I can wait outside for you to be done. It’s what me and the other dads usually do.” Nick is hyper aware that the blonde man is rambling, and also that his shorts are becoming more uncomfortable. God, this is why apocalypse movies never talk about periods, this is so shitty.

“Cool,” Nick squeaks out, and Henry gives him a weird look as he ducks into the bathroom quickly and shuts the door with a loud creak. He flinches at the sound and takes a breath. He looks around the small space, theres a toilet in one corner as well as a big tub. Then a sink and mirror hung near where he’s standing. He steps forward and looks in the mirror. He looks terrible. Nick’s eye bags are terribly deep and his skin is pale, he looks deathly sick. He feels it too. After he’s taken enough time to stare at himself and writhe in insecurity and dysphoria (it always gets bad when he gets his period.) he decides it’s time to tackle his blood issue.

He doesn’t exactly have any tampons or pads, so he’ll probably have to use a bunch of the most uncomfortable toilet paper he’s ever seen. Part of him debates if it’s sandpaper. But that’s not what he’s worried about, he’s more worried about the fact his soccer shorts and boxer briefs are gross and stained now and these are the only clothes he has, considering he had been dressing with a day long soccer game in mind, not a month long horror show. He decides to try to get the stain out of the shorts first using the faucet and rubbing at it with the toilet paper. He’s lucky their jerseys are a dark purple so the stain isn’t as noticeable as his anxiety made it out to be.

“Nick? Kiddo, you alright?” Henry’s voice chimes in from behind the door, Nick freezes. He forgot Henry was waiting for him, jesus fuck.

“Uhm..yeah, things are fine!” Nick calls back, things are definitely not fine. Nick vaguely wishes he could just lay down and die in this bathroom and then not have to worry about any of this but the universe has other plans for him.

“You sure? You don’t sound alright, and it’s okay to not be alright.” Henry says gently through the door. Nick stands on the opposite side clutching his shorts with shaking fingers. Henry Oak isn’t a homophobe or transphobe or anything like it, Nick is aware of that. His sons are very all over the place but they’re well educated and when Nick had to mention he was trans in front of them, Sparrow had understood what he said, so did Lark but he didn’t seem all too present in the conversation, busy working on making a prison shiv. Nick also knows Henry’s bisexual, it wasn’t really a big thing but Sparrow had mentioned it offhandedly and Nick had just thought. Huh, cool. Henry also did show that annoying people can be gay too.

Nick does wonder what Henry would say though if he asked for help and explained his predicament. Would he think it’s disgusting? Would he think its some weird thing? Would he start calling Nick a girl for something he can’t control? It’s hard to imagine that kind of behavior from the man, but Nick could never be to sure, he’s had people he thought would never be like that act negatively when they found out Nick wasn’t a cisgender boy. Nick debates it more, but his dad is in the other room and he’s sure he could tell him that Henry was being a dick about it. But, would his dad do anything about it though? When Nick had said he thought the other dads were stupid narcs Glenn had ignored him. Was Nick’s opinion or input worth anything to his dad, In the way that Glenn’s input was to him? In the end Nick decides; fuck it, I’m not going to sit in the car all day tomorrow while bleeding through my shorts and staining Darryl’s ‘precious’ van.

“Uh…” Nick starts to say, his legs are shaking a little. “I guess I have a little problem.”

“Oh? What’s wrong?” Henry responds.

“Well uhm…I had uh, a monthly visit from the devil.” Why that was the way Nick decided to phrase could only be answered with how tired and shaky he is. And possibly just how fucking awkward he is when he's sober.

“I’m sorry?” Great that didn’t work. Nick takes in a deep breath.

“Never mind. I have a question, about this place. Do they uh, have menstrual products here? Asking for a friend.” Nick tries again, cringing at his own words. Asking for a friend? Really?

“OH!” Henry says loudly and it makes Nick flinch. “Oh okay, I get it.” Nick awaits for some kind of weird comment. “I’m fairly sure I have some in my bag, I usually carry around emergency pads.” Henry continues to say. Nick shifts his feet. “Would um…your friend be needing a change of clothes too?” Nick sighs, thank god.

“Yeah, if possible…” Nick mumbles a bit, embarrassed that he's still going with the very obviously fake excuse that Nick had come up with in his panic. Henry hums from the other side of the door.

“I’ll be right back, you stay there.” Henry adds. Nick sighs deeply in relief. He tugs off his beanie and rests it on the counter, shaking his hair out a little. And after a few minutes Nick hears a soft knock on the door. “Hey Nick, I was able to get some clothes from the bartender and there’s also a maxi pad here. I don’t if you prefer something else but that’s the only thing I have.” Nick huffs.

“That’s- that’s good, thanks.” Nick says, he cracks the door open slightly and Henry hands the stack of things to him. The door shuts again and Nick has never felt such relief and gratitude, especially for Henry Oak of all people. Nick looks down at the clothes. It’s a red tunic shirt and long black pants to match as well some new underwear, much to Nick’s relief he won’t just have to change his pants, since that can be embarrassing and revealing.

Nick changes quickly, puts his beanie back over his head and opens the door slowly, peaking out and meeting Henry’s gaze. He’s leaned against the wall, and he smiles gently at Nick in a way that makes Nick feel…weird.

“You doing okay?” He asks, his voice soft. Nick walks out of the bathroom and scratches at his arm a little.

“Yeah, I’m good I think.” He mumbles, not meeting Henry’s eyes. Henry nods.

“You don't have to feel scared,” He says. “About being trans,” Nick blinks a little and looks up at Henry. Who lifts up his shirt high enough to show two scars going across his chest beneath his pecs. Top surgery scars. He drops his shirt down again. “You're not alone. The other dads are okay with me, and I’m sure your dad would kill someone for being…mean.” Nick folds his arms over his stomach.

“I didn't know you were…” He starts to say then bites his tongue. “It's…it’s cool.” He shrugs. For some reason seeing someone like Henry, being an adult, a father with a wife and kids, it makes him feel…nice. Someone like Nick is able to have a life, a good one. Henry smiles at him.

“Yeah, very cool. You should get some rest, we plan on an early morning.” Henry says, nudging Nick on the shoulder lightly.

“Okay,” Nick says. Henry nods and starts to walk down the hallway towards the rooms, Nick follows. He wonders why Henry was up in the first place. Nick opens the door to the room quietly and walks back inside. He gets into bed quietly, his dad barely stirs and Nick can hear him softly snoring. Glenn’s back is turned to where Nick is sleeping, so he lays down, staring at the back his dad’s t-shirt. The last time Nick ever shared a bed with his dad, was the night his mom died.

Nick shuts his eyes, he doesn't want to think about mom right now, he just wants to rest while he can.

Chapter Text

Nick gets out of the van and almost wants to run into the empty field they found for their stop. Theres a river nearby and Henry mentioned something about washing clothes and other stuff before they figure out everything with Erin, (the garden witch they met while going to get Terry) and the portal home. Nick watches as the twins run out laughing loudly, it's good they're getting their energy out anyway. Willy was never happy when they were hyper like this, it's good to let them have something.

Nick stretches a little and flinches when his ribs, still pressed down with his binder, ache. He rolls his shoulders out and hugs his stomach, hunching over a little.

“Darryl! Darryl! Darryl!” Nick looks over to see Paeden climbing up Darryl’s body like a jungle gym as the man stumbles a bit. Nick huffs out a laugh and walks away from the van. He can see Terry and Grant softly talking behind him, but he won't go and interrupt them. Maybe he’ll just go for a walk or something. He's been feeling twitchy lately, not having his vape on him and not having any weed. He had the flowers but the effects from those weren't as good as just good old fashioned weed.

“Yo!” He turns back to see Glenn walking up to him, waving a little. “Nick, my man.” Nick grins.

“What's up?” Nick asks, putting his hands into the pockets of the black pants Henry had gotten him from the inn last night.

“Just uh, seeing if you're all good. Y’know,” Glenn shrugs, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his leather jacket. He looks weirdly…awkward?

“Oh,” Nick says, blinking a bit. “Yeah, I’m cool.” Glenn gives him a thumbs up.

“Nice.” He grins. Nick nods, confused why they're having this same interaction again. “There's uh, something I wanted to talk to you about…” Glenn scratches his chin a little and Nick bites the inside of his cheek.

“Oh?” Nick turns around and starts walking into the forest area from the open field, Glenn takes the hint and starts following him. The two in a weird awkward pause.

“Uhm…yeah.” Nick has never heard his dad sound so…nervous? Is that whats happening? “Theres a thing that Hen suggested to me, so if this is shitty and weird blame the narc.” He says it in his usual flat tone and Nick snorts, that's better, that's more familiar. Wait, ‘Hen’? Nick does think it's weird that Henry and his dad are..close now. But, well he wasn't expecting to feel some kind of responsibility over Lark and Sparrow, and feel the need to check in on Grant when he's spacing out for too long, or making sure that Terry isn't stressing himself out for no reason. Maybe it's the situation. Thats what Nick tells himself so it doesn't piss him off.

Yeah, he definitely has found a better appreciation for Henry after they talked the night before and the man helped him out. Cleared up some of his nerves. But, that does not mean Nick is ready for Henry to just, take away his time with his dad. The limited amount he already has.

“Yeah, alright. Hit me.” Nick grins and looks at Glenn from the side as they walk and Glenn shrugs, chewing on his thumbnail. Nick really hopes that Henry didn't tell his dad about last night because Nick might explode all over the trees and grass.

“You uhm…you don't feel like, worried about the whole trans thing right? Like, Darryl is pretty good about the whole thing with Hen, and Ron is confused but I’m pretty sure he’s always confused.” Glenn takes a glance back at the dads. “The kids aren't bringing you any shit about it are they?” Nick pauses and he stops walking.

“No,” He says. “They aren't.” He realizes his tone is a little quieter, weirder. “Like…I’m uh, cool about everything.” Nick shrugs weirdly. Jesus this is so awkward.

“Okay, okay.” Glenn says. “Bill didn't know did he?” Nick blinks a bit.

“No, uh none of those weirdos knew. At least I’m pretty sure they didn't.” Nick picks at the chapped skin on his lips a little.

“That's good.” Glenn nods his shoulders drop in some kind of relief, but the expression he has on is one of…anxiety? Is Nick’s dad anxious? This is weird, what’s going on?

“Are you like…good, man? You're acting different.” Nick narrows his eyes at him. Glenn laughs but it seems forced.

“Yeah dude, no, I’m chill. Just…Henry talked to me about the whole thing with being you know, trans, and I just want to make sure you're all...like okay. Which is kind of weird…so uh, forget about it.” Glenn grumbles a bit and looks away from Nick. Nick feels something move in his chest, something akin to a warm feeling.

“Nah, man. It's…uh, not weird.” Nick’s voice sounds small, high pitched. Glenn looks back at him and gives him a weird smile.

“Cool.” He says, his voice also quiet.

“Cool.” Nick repeats, nodding.

“But like, if anyone is being a dickhead about it or whatever, tell me. I’ll beat the shit out of them.” Glenn grins lopsidedly. Nick laughs.

“Yeah, alright Dad.” Nick rolls his eyes but he's smiling. He watches as Glenn looks back at everyone else and Nick can see Henry give him a thumbs up, Nick furrows his eyebrows.

“Also,” Glenn says, clapping his hands together. “How long has it been since you took off the binder, dude?” He pokes Nick on the shoulder and Nick freezes. He laughs awkwardly.

“Uhm…” He bites his nails. Glenn raises an eyebrow.

“Nick…” Nick recognizes the tone, this is one of the rare moments when Glenn goes ‘dad mode.’ Like when he was telling Nick to stop swearing in front of the other dads in the Bullywogs. Nick freezes up and looks away from him, scratching his nose.

“Yeah-” Nick’s voice cracks and he clears his throat, which then leads to him just excessively coughing.

“Dude-” Glenn says, putting a hand on Nick’s back.

“Okay maybe it's been a while- BUT! It’s fine! I mean it hasn't even been a week yet, and I’ve survived that.” Nick points out, shrugging a little. Glenn looks at him with an expression he can't read.

“No! That's not fine-” Glenn shouts a bit. “Man, you're supposed to only wear that shit like eight hours a day.”

“Yeah well maybe I’m just built different.” Nick tucks his hands into his pockets, and leans back onto his heels as he talks.

“Nicholas…” Glenn pinches his nose bridge and Nick just feels even more awkward. Is there such a thing as Glenn going double dad mode? “Don’t fuck up your ribs, man, that's bad.” He puts his hands on Nick’s shoulders and Nick rolls his eyes.

“My ribs are fine, cool and shit. I’m doing great.” Nick tries to convince Glenn but obviously his persuasion roll sucked.

“Come on, go change behind a tree, I’ll keep watch.” Glenn starts to shoo at Nick’s shoulders. Nick grumbles.

“Yeah whatever, Dad.” Nick rolls his eyes and turns away. Jesus he sounds like Grant. Nick feels a flick at the back of his head and looks back at Glenn who smirks at him and puts a hand on Nick’s head, rustling his hair and beanie around. Nick huffs out a laugh and walks away to find a tree.

Once Nick comes back around and finds Glenn sitting on a rock, he feels even more awkward, holding his binder in his hands. He’d been struggling for maybe ten or fifteen minutes to get it off and now that he does have it off he has never felt such relief. But his ribs are bruised, and it still kinda sucks to breathe in. Glenn hasn't noticed Nick watching him yet, and he's staring at the ground. He looks kind of…sad. Nick wonders when the last time he saw him look like that was, and it’s mom’s funeral. Nick clears his throat and his dad turns to look up at him.

“Hows my rack look?” He says, doing a spin. Glenn looks at him with his mouth open slightly in confusion. “Never mind, don’t answer that.” Nick holds the fabric of his binder in his hands.

“Yeah,” Glenn laughs. “You good to head back?” Glenn stands and points to where everyone else is gathered near the van, except for the twins and Paeden who seem to be playing a violent version of tag.

“Uh yeah, yeah, I’m good.” Nick smiles a bit and Glenn matches the smile. They walk back to the group and it feels as if something has been lifted off of Nick’s chest, physically and metaphorically. It’s nice.