Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Vast darkness has slithered over Aziraphale's sight. It's all he can see, tears are flowing and an overwhelming feeling of betrayal, guilt and regret, no, no regrets, love, that's what she is feeling despite the smell of the boiling sulfur and the heat, the ghost feeling of the fall, she still feels love. Aziraphale cannot help but cry, physical, emotional and mental pain are too much for him to handle. It dawned on him, darkness, darkness and nothing else, none at all.

“G-God, God I cannot see” a gasp escaped her mouth as she covered it, the same way he did after the kiss, his hand then turned to his ears and all he felt were wet, warm liquid pouring out, is it sulfur? He tasted it, it was blood, and holes, where have her ears gone?

“I-I can't hear, I can't hear myself” more tears have come pouring down and the feeling of betrayal creeping in. “God I beg of you, bring them back” a low beg he uttered, that's all they could do now, beg with the only thing left with them, voice.

Crowley froze as he saw his angel sitting down to a situation where he remembered being in before, wings black as the goo and eyes glowing with the golden thread he was cursed with. All of his doubts, sultry and disappointment washed over her as she realized what Aziraphale had done. Frozen in time, nothing in mind, cannot make up a single sound, he can physically feel his brain being clogged up and heart being pulled down. A familiar voice in front of him broke the ice.

“C-Crowley, Crowley are you here? Crowley dear, can you hear me? I-it's hot, and I can smell the sulfur” Aziraphale spoke as if he knew the demon, like himself, was standing beside him.

Crowley wanted to run to him but his feet are stuck, failing to process everything that is currently happening, she just ... .stood there, she felt tears starting to form as she took his glasses off. Seeing the sight of his angel covered in goo wearing the same suit he has kept in tip top condition for 180 years.

“I need to find Crowley, he needs to know” Aziraphale wiped his tears and disgusted by the feeling of goo touching her face, she tried to stand up. Crowley on the other hand gathered all her strength and ran to Aziraphale, holding her hand like it was the last thing on Earth, which at that time, it felt like it. Crowley held his face.

As if it was a special piece of his body that is now a jigsaw puzzle missing pieces, Aziraphale knew exactly who it was. “Crowley” his soft warm smile shines through as she holds Crowley’s hands too.

“Angel” The only thing Crowley could ever utter. Angel, his angel, in front of him in such a situation he never expected to see.

“Oh Crowley, you came” a tear dropped on his cheeks, his words as bitter as the goo covering him but as sweet as the touch of Crowley. “Oh…Angel” Crowley couldn't help but to cry out “Are you crying dear? I can tell” Aziraphale moved her hand on Crowley's cheeks feeling his warm tears “Are you trying to talk? I'm sorry dear..I…I can't hear you” for the first time of his entire existence, Crowley sobbed in front of someone else, even though that someone can't see nor hear, he held Aziraphale's hand on his face and he held it tight.

“You're still a whiny serpent, are you not? Now must we go home?” Aziraphale forced a smile as he tugged on Crowley's hand. Crowley could only nod as she still held Aziraphale's hand on his face so he could feel the nod as a yes.

Crowley grabbed Aziraphale's waist and let her in front of him, holding his arms, Crowley wrapped it around his neck. “Careful, Ang…gel” Crowley sighed as she realized that no matter what he says, Aziraphale cannot listen, he helped Aziraphale step by step and not much of it, they reached the Bentley. The door opened by herself and Crowley made Aziraphale sit at the passenger's seat before walking towards the driver seat.

“Crowley, dear, where are we going?, oh don't even bother answering, just take me to your home, I don't think I have one anymore” Aziraphale smiled

“Yes, Angel, home” Crowley drove, fast like he always does and Aziraphale doesn't seem to mind it anymore but he's held tight on his miracled seat belt with one hand and on the seat with another, gripping tightly, maybe because of the pain of his entire existence or maybe, Crowley just goes too fast for him.

The Bentley stopped and Crowley first went out, he walked around the car not taking his glasses off, it's a crowded area of Soho afterall, no one can see her teary red eyes. He opened the door and helped Aziraphale get up.

“This, this smells familiar, Crowley, are we in the bookshop?” Crowley, again wrapped Aziraphale's arm around his neck and his arm on his waist as they both walk towards the old bookshop.

Muriel on the other hand is inside the bookshop, cleaning the book as they promised Mr. Fell when they witnessed the demon and the familiar looking angel, or so they thought, coming in. Their face lit up and they ran towards the door and the closer they got the more they realized, it's not the same Aziraphale that left. They opened the door and were greeted by a frowning Crowley and bitterly smiling Aziraphale.

“Muriel? Is that you?” Aziraphale said and looked up as if he could see.

“Oh Mr. Fell, What happened?” Muriel panicked by the sight in front of them, they ran towards Aziraphale's favorite sofa and dusted it, fixed it while Crowley followed and sat Aziraphale down.

“Oh dear, we are in the bookshop, I thought you're taking me……home” Aziraphale smiled very warmly. Crowley's actions have touched his heart. “Ohhh Crowley” he then felt the armrest of his sofa.

“There's a first aid kit in the bathroom upstairs, the cupboard, open the mirror, take it you won't miss it, it's a box with a cross in front” Crowley said, directly looking at Muriel as his hand gestured what she is meaning to say, Muriel then ran, still panicking but they ran upstairs to get the kit while Crowley ran to the kitchen and took a basin and filled it with warm water before going back to Aziraphale.

“Crowley, where are you?” Aziraphale tried looking around. Crowley could've just miracle everything, but he didn't, he knows Aziraphale won't and so he didn't, he couldn't anyways, this is not a human doing, this is a divine one and he cannot clean her up with miracles, it just doesn't work. Muriel came running down with a box on their hand and they handed it over to Crowley. Crowley took the cloth he got with the warm water and started wiping down the black goo and dried blood on Aziraphale's face and clothing, reminding him of how he had to do all this by himself when he fell. A lot is going on inside her head, anger, disappointment, guilt, regret, forgiveness….

Aziraphale can't help but to wince at the pain of the warm water touching her wounds and bruises. “Oh Crowley, please be gentle”

“Mr. Crowley, what happened to Mr. Fell?” Muriel asked as they were still looking at Aziraphale as if they're examining him. Crowley doesn't hear anything anymore, too busy cleaning up his angel.

“Mr. Crowley?” Muriel repeated “Not now Muriel” Crowley is frantic, his head going too fast even for himself, Crowley cannot think of anything else and Muriel couldn't do anything but to shut their mouth, looking worriedly at Aziraphale.

“Is Muriel still here, I can kind of feel them” Aziraphale said “Yes, Yes Mr. Fell I am here” Muriel smiled widely . “He can't hear you” Crowley sighed as he took Aziraphale's hand on his cheeks as he nodded, it is their only form of communication, feelings, a form of communication they always failed to have.

“I'm so sorry angel, I should've followed, I shouldn't have let you come with that old fucking man” Crowley took his glasses off, looking at Aziraphale as if he's tendering her wounds with her snake eyes.

“Tell Muriel it's not her fault” Aziraphale smiled

“Her? Who?” Muriel confusedly asked

“Oh for fuck's sake Aziraphale, look at what she did, stop trying to go with heaven as far as you can, they took your wings awa-” Crowley couldn't even finish his fuming anger filled words when a very soft voice broke it.

“And Muriel, she was, very, very beautiful” Aziraphale let out a soft chuckle, Crowley looked astounded, mouth gaped and his heart feeling like it's being twisted dry, a mixed feelings of anger and nostalgia back when he saw God herself, when she was still an angel.

“Is he…is Mr. Fell talking about God?” Muriel's eyes grew wide as they looked at Aziraphale not understanding the disappointment they are currently feeling.

“But- she…the almighty couldn't have…” They're little heart broke a little.

“Oh yes she could, and she will, she just did” before he could start to blabber about God, he felt Aziraphale's hand making its way to his chest.

“Crowley, do not be mad, dear, I can feel your heart” Aziraphale said, and out of still fumes, Crowley threw Aziraphale's hand away off his chest. Aziraphale quickly realized and let out a small “oh, I-I'm sorry” and kept his hands to herself, with that little awkward chuckle of hers.

After a silent minute, Crowley grabbed the first aid and started tending to Aziraphale's ears, well, where her ears were, that is. Wiping the blood that is pouring out and grabbing a bandage to block blood from flowing any more. Despite his body shaking with so much emotion, her hands stayed soft when holding the brittle pieces of his angel.

After the bandages, Crowley held Aziraphale's face while he's kneeling in front of her, and ran his thumb over his sewn eyes.

“I guess we'll have matching glasses now, huh angel?” Crowley said “technically he's not an angel any-” Muriel got cut off by Crowley staring at them with his snake eyes. “Shut.up. he's MY angel no matter what” With a stern voice, Crowley said, with a slight hint of threat, and Muriel just nodded.

“Oh Crowley, maybe we can have matching glasses, I'll have to hide this somehow” Crowley smiled as she looked at Aziraphale

“You reading my mind angel? That's what I just said” Crowley chuckled. “We need to clean your tip topped conditioned suit first, unsavable, it is, but I don't know I'll find a way or something” Crowley clicked his snake tongue looking at the black stains on Aziraphale's suit.

The door swung open “Crowley? CROWLEY WHERE'S AZIRAPHALE” A familiar voice of a coffee shop owner across the street came through, Crowley was blocking Aziraphale's body, then he turned, still trying to hide Aziraphale. Muriel took a step back not really knowing what to do, their face filled with panic.

“Ninnnaa!” Crowley exclaimed “Aziraphale? I don't know what you're talking about, who's Aziraphale?”

“I saw you coming out of your car, the shop was busy and I can't leave so I couldn't go here immediately but I went as soon as I can, now where's Mr. Fell?” Nina turned her head, certain of what she saw, she knew the story, she watched Crowley sit at the shop and drink the hell out of wine and coffee as he's crying about Aziraphale leaving. Crowley, stepped aside. Nina couldn't believe what she was seeing.

“He…he ah..he said no”

Chapter Text

Nina froze, just like Crowley did, trying to process the image of a lost friend in front of her.

“Mr. Fell, what happened to you?” After a gasped, hand over mouth, Nina finally spoke.

“He can't hear you” Crowley said as he looked the other way, mourning the body part that part of him lost. Still not letting his snakeskin slip. Nina saw the ear bandages.

“Oh Mr. Fell what have they done?! Who did this I will fucking kill them myself” Crowley's head turned to Nina so fast stopping Nina from her tracks of approaching Aziraphale “What? Did I say something wrong? I am angry” Muriel's eyes went wide and their eyes wandered around the room as if someone could be watching, they know she is.

“Never ever say THAT again Nina” Crowley said very sternly, every fiber of her body filling up with worries. “But, but look what they did, won't you want to kill whoever did this?” Crowley fell silent, she knew deep inside she wanted to kill God right there and then, but she knew what God is capable of, a living proof is sitting in front of them.

“Crowley, who's there? You….you seem worried?I can feel it” Aziraphale said, her head looking around trying to know where Crowley is. Crowley put his hand over Aziraphale's shoulder to reassure him that he's there.

“Nina, you can't just kill whoever did this, oh trust me she can do worse, you don't wanna go against her” Nina raised her brow and she then realized who Crowley is talking about, she nodded, anger for God in her heart taking up more space, she kneeled down in front of Aziraphale and took his hand, placed it on her hair.

“Ohh Nina, is that you?” Aziraphale smiled “I'm sorry, I'm rather, not in my best appearance right now” Aziraphale chuckled trying to hide their embarrassment.

“How is Maggie! Is she here too? If yes, Hello there Maggie” Aziraphale waved his hand in the air

“If not then I hope she is doing well, you two, I wish to see-...to..well I wish for her to visit me soon” Aziraphale smiled as he held Nina's hand

“I don't think Maggie can handle this, she loves Mr. Fell, if she sees him like this…it would break her heart” Nina stared at Aziraphale with pity and worry “best not to tell her just yet” Crowley agreed

“You know, she's been playing classical music ever since Mr. Fell left” she smiled as she stood up

“I knew that old man was trouble when he entered my shop, I'm gonna find him myself and make him take all the deaths that he wanted” Nina sighed and shook her head in disbelief. Crowley smirked admiring Nina's dedication, it felt good to know he wasn't the only one that cares about the angel.

“I'll let you be, let him rest, the shop will be busy again any time now, goodluck Crowley” Nina patted Aziraphale's hand then Crowley's shoulder.

“Oh you're going? Goodbye Nina, come back anytime” Aziraphale waved again, smiling, Crowley sat beside Aziraphale and took his hand

“Ohh, Crowley what are you–” Aziraphale started but Crowley started tracing letters on his hand, trying to form some sort of communication

“C-L-E-A-N” Aziraphale repeated the letter “Clean? Oh you're going to clean me?” Aziraphale nodded “Thank you Crowley, please do, I am tired of this sticky goo” he added

“Muriel, stay here I'll clean her up” Muriel nodded as Crowley lifted Aziraphale, guiding him until they reached the stairs. Crowley held Aziraphale tightly, not letting her fall again, one step after the other they reached the top.

“Crowley, thank you, you are being very nice” Crowley looked at her and frowned her brows, before he could even make a sound Aziraphale talked again.

“Before you try and refuse to take it, I am now a demon, I might have lied” Aziraphale smiled with reassurance, Crowley shook his head as a smile also appeared.

When they reached the bathroom Crowley miracled a bathtub filled with warm water in a snap, he assisted Aziraphale to face him and Crowley started taking his coat off, carefully assessing if there was further damage on his body. Then he unbuttoned Aziraphale's vest before taking it off. He took his hand and traced letters again.

“O-k” he repeated after himself before looking at Aziraphale's response

“Are you asking me if it's okay to take my clothes off, darling? If so, yes, you may proceed” Crowley was a bit taken aback, not because of his response but because he called him “darling” they have never called him that before. Crowley slightly blushed, and seems like Aziraphale is getting more comfortable about their relationship because no God can strike them down now, now that she already did. Crowley slowly, carefully slid Aziraphale's long sleeves off leaving Aziraphale only in her tank top, this is the first time Crowley have ever seen Aziraphale this bare and he couldn't help but to stare when he finally took the tank off, admiring the stretch marks and, he sighed as he saw scars, not new ones, the old scars the angels might have drew there.

“Crowley, I can feel you staring, don't worry about them dear, they are nothing now” Aziraphale bit his lip, it's uncomfortable for him for anyone to see why he's so scared of the angels, mainly because he doesn't want anyone's perception of angels to shatter.

“Oh angel” Crowley put his hand on Aziraphale's face caressing his cheeks trying to give them some kind of reassurance with his bitter smile.

He then unbuckled Aziraphale's belt and also carefully slid his pants down, Aziraphale winced and held on to the now kneeling Crowley's head. Crowley looked up and saw pain on Aziraphale's face. He looked at his legs and saw the cause of it, the fall might have bruised him. He stood up and held both Aziraphale's hands and helped him to step out of his pants.

“S-I-T” he wrote on Aziraphale's hand, she nodded and Crowley walked him to the tub, when Aziraphale's foot touched the tub he painfully lifted her leg and step inside the tub, Crowley went behind him putting both his arms under Aziraphale's underarms to avoid any more pressure on their legs and helped them sit down before he stepped out the tub and squatted beside, he gently slides off Aziraphale's wet boxers and looked at Aziraphale before sighing.

“Look at you, you're gorgeous” Crowley smiled, feeling of admiration for Aziraphale and also pity that he's still trying to brush off, he knows Aziraphale wouldn't want her to pity him, but he just can't help it, a little odd for a demon to feel it too, but of course he's not all of a demon after all, he's also a human, more of a human if you ask me, which you can't, Crowley would bear witness of why you never ask me a question.

Crowley turned the water on and started washing Aziraphale's head, picking off the sticky black goo on there, the beautiful shiny blonde hair of hers covered in a glue like goo, he gets the shampoo and lathered it on his head, then soap on her body their hand, as if it's got it's own mind, changes weight, it becomes much gentler when near a bruise.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Muriel saw a woman by the door, and being a good inspector constable they invited it in thinking it's a customer. Open the door, they did.

“Come in, you may look around madam?sir? Uhhh a..respectable human being” Shax looked them in the eye, very much confused but found it funny that an angel is letting her inside an embassy. “Just no buying!” Muriel smiled widely and went back to dusting off the books.

“Right…so I went here because a trusted device of mine said Crowley is here” Muriel then realized what they had just done “you wouldn't know anything about it would you? Seeing that you called me a "respectable"” Shax looked around trying to spot the demon.

“No, I mean yes, I mean I don't know” Muriel panicked and ran upstairs.

“Mr. Crowley a demon is looking for you” Crowley stopped from scrubbing Aziraphale's legs and looked at Muriel.

“Ahh must've been the bathtub” she shook her head realizing that the miracle must've notified his lot that he's here. He then patted Aziraphale's leg before tracing “S-T-a-y”

“Where are you going, Crowley!" Aziraphale said but Crowley is already out the door, he ran down and saw Shax

“Ahh Shax, long time, what can I do for ya” Shax looked her up and down and raised her brow, arms crossed.

“Why are you so…..wet?” Shax asked, Crowley looked down and dried herself with a snap

“Right, so what brought you here again?” Crowley walked to her closer

“As the new hell representative Hastur told me to come to you, and thank you your little miracle we knew where you are” Shax explained, chin up, very proud of herself

“Ahh good ol’ Hastur, how's he? New Duke of Hell huh, a promotion I sure wish I had” Shax looked at Crowley “do you mean that?” Shax squinted her eyes “of course not, what do you want from me?” Crowley rolled her eyes as he jumped on the sofa.

“Right, so we have been informed that an angel, called Aziraphale, I'm sure you know him, fell” Crowley's eyes darted, knowing what is to come, not knowing how to respond, he just stared at Shax.

“And you know how it is, all the filling up the forms and brainwashing and ugh! You of all demons should know the routine” in a split second Crowley is in front of Shax, glasses off and fangs on.

“What.do.you.mean.by.that?!” Shax's eyes went wide as she took a step back

“Nothing, it's just, you know, you reigned as the most favorite demon, before ... .before all this” Shax looked around a ticked Crowley is never to mess with.

“Aziraphale's not here, do you really think a fallen good, great, angel that never disobeyed the almighty will come running to the bookshop they took from him?” Crowley pointing to his head, a little bit of mockery like he always does. Shax turned her head away.

“Alright then, I'll tell Hastur” Shax started walking off, her disappearing miracle wouldn't work inside the bookshop.

“Tell Hastur” Shax turned around when she heard Crowley “Tell Hastur the miracle is a bathtub filled with holy water, it will freshen up his memories” Crowley smirked, sitting on the sofa like it's his throne. Shax's eyes went wide and walked faster out of the bookshop, disappearing right outside the door.

Chapter Text

Crowley made her way back to his angel and Aziraphale smiled with a sigh of relief when he felt Crowley's hand on his feet.

“Oh dear, what was that about? Why did you suddenly leave me?” Aziraphale asked, not sure how to explain, Crowley started tracing letters.

“S-H-A-X” is enough for Aziraphale to understand and with that four letter name Aziraphale's smile disappeared, fear is now starting to cover her face.

“D-O-N-T B-E S-” not even done yet, Aziraphale cut him off

“How can I not be scared, Crowley?! Your peo- Demons are hunting me, I don't know what they are going to do, I don't even want to know” Aziraphale looked up, his lips curling with fear as his hand tried to reach Crowley, which Crowley took.

“I W-I-L-L P-R-O-T-” Crowley, again got cut off, never able to call her angel, angel again because it seems like Aziraphale always knows what he's going to say.

“I know darling, but, but I can't help it, I am scared” Aziraphale's brows furrowed

“A-N-G-” Crowley tried, and tried to maybe calm Aziraphale “No, Crowley don't, please” Aziraphale took his hand away faster than his fall.

“Angel…you'll always be my angel” Crowley sighed, he turned to Aziraphale's leg again and used it instead.

“S-H-O-W-E-R C-O-N-T-” Aziraphale didn't cut him this time, maybe calling her angel is not the best move, it refreshed all the wounds he just tended for Aziraphale. Crowley instead grabbed the soap and started scrubbing Aziraphale's back. After a while Aziraphale started speaking again.

“Crowley, do you remember when I said, you go too fast for me?” Crowley simply drew a check on her back.

“Well, actually, I only said that because I was afraid, well first of, to be…discorporated, paperworks and all that, but also that maybe I was the one moving too slow, you adjust with all of this, all the time that flies, so fast, and” Aziraphale sighed, not sure if she should continue, she's again scared of what Crowley's reaction might be especially now that Crowley stopped scrubbing after a few words and listened very carefully.

“And, fraternizing with you scared me, I feared that God, the almighty, also well you know, make me…fall, and I got scared that I may not be able to adjust as fast as you can with being…like this” Crowley smiled, not really knowing why, maybe perhaps it's because Aziraphale wasn't really scared to fall, it was the adjustments that they are scared of, or maybe because he takes pride of adjusting, like a chameleon or maybe because Aziraphale used the word “was”.

“I-T S A-L-R-I-G-H-T I A-M F-A-S-T” Aziraphale smiled like a heavy anchor just got lifted off his heart.

“I enjoy slow things, enjoying every part of being here on Earth, enjoying your company and I don't want things to end as fast” Aziraphale blushed, 6000 years and counting, years they have been together, friends, maybe after a slow 6000 years it is time to be more than friends.

“I-T W-O-N-T” Crowley then rubbed Aziraphale's shoulder before leaving a kiss that made Aziraphale turn red.

After Crowley successfully took all the black goo off of Aziraphale he helped them stand up and miracled a towel to wrap around her, step by step guiding her to the room, the only bed room in Aziraphale's bookshop, he sat Aziraphale down on the bed and miracled a similar suit on him.

“This doesn't feel quite right dear” Aziraphale never really liked miracled things “But I will get used to it” because he wanted to blend in, living like a normal human being, but it's really because miracles remind him of angels, angels that he fears.

“Just gonna fix your suit angel, I'll give it back” Crowley looked inside Aziraphale's closet, maybe his other clothes wouldn't feel as bad on her skin, but nothing really caught his attention, so instead he went to Aziraphale, to talk, well, to converse in their own way.

“L-A-U-N-D-R-Y” Thankful to the modern generation and also hopeful that modern technology will help him fix the suit, Crowley, with a wide smile, said to Aziraphale.

“WHAT?! NO ABSOLUTELY NOT CROWLEY you are not risking my precious soft leather suit in that machinery, are you out of your mind?” Aziraphale's head never turned this fast, talking about his most precious clothing has really struck a nerve. Crowley raised his eyebrow feeling frustrated having no clue of what he should do then.

“I used to handwash that clothing with soft fabric detergent and warm water, then a fabric softener, hand wash Crowley, HAND WASH” with her finger pointing and furrowed brows, Aziraphale sternly explained what Crowley must do.

“Ngk seems like you care about it more than anything” Crowley rolled her eyes at Aziraphale before taking his hand.

“O-K” Aziraphale lets out a sigh of relief knowing Crowley listened.

“Very good, I don't want my suit getting ruined by some ... .machine” with a slight disgust on his face Aziraphale said. Crowley sighed as if he didn't want to do it but deep inside he wanted to do anything for Aziraphale, anything.

“MURIEL!” Crowley shouted from the room and Muriel came running.
“Yes Mr. Crowley?” Muriel politely said
“I'm gonna wash his clothes, stay with her” Muriel nodded and took Crowley’s place on Aziraphale's side.

“Warm water Crowley, please darling” and because Aziraphale asked so nicely the frown on Crowley's forehead disappearing “ngk-” with that, he left.

“Muriel, is that you?” Muriel took his hand as their response.

“How have you been? When I was gone, I mean, sold any books?” Muriel shook their head fast.

“Crowley writes on my hand so we can talk, maybe you should too” Muriel's face lit up as they miracled a pen and started writing out on Aziraphale's hand, Aziraphale was shocked to feel a cold ball pen tip on his hand but he lets them be.

“N-o, I d-i-d n-o-t s-e-l-l a-n-y, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g w-a-s g-r-e-a-t” Aziraphale smiled, thankfully nothing was gone off of his collection, not that he can read them anymore but they still treasures them. More importantly Muriel was fine without him, maybe they need to get used to it.

“Muriel, I want you to remember this for me, you must never, and I mean never ever diso- not do what the almighty tells you, always obey and be a good angel” Aziraphale held Muriel's hand, Muriel didn't understood fully but they nodded.

“D-i-d y-o-u n-o-t d-i-d w-h-a-t G-o-d t-o-l-d?” Muriel looked at Aziraphale. “I did, I did everything she wanted I WAS a very good angel I just, well, I fell, fell in love, and then fell from heaven” Aziraphale looked down as she smiled.

“D-o y-o-u r-e-g-r-e-t l-o-v-e?” Curiosity seeping through Muriel. “Well, part of me will always wish not to fall and change my decision, but me, entirely ... .No, I don’t regret falling for Crowley” He meant what he said, falling for Crowley, both ways, was the best decision he could make.

“But you, Muriel, never fall, unless you are very certain, for 6000 years, that that person you are falling for will be with you and will wash your clothes the way you like it” Muriel got more questions than answers but they decided not to question it anymore, part of them understood what Aziraphale was meaning to say. Aziraphale's smile is enough for Muriel to understand what love is.

Chapter Text

“Muriel, would you be so kind and make me a hot cocoa” Aziraphale hopped on his place as he turned to Muriel with a wide smile, the taste of cocoa that he misses dearly, God is kind enough to leave his taste buds intact, how kind. Muriel wrote on his arm.

“Of c-o-u-r-s-e M-r.-F-e-l-l” Muriel stood up and walked down to the kitchen, when Aziraphale heard the door close, he sighed. Alone in this room, Aziraphale felt very vulnerable, where no one could see them, but God.

Aziraphale can't help but to touch the golden threads on her eyes, he turned to where he remembered the window is and a faint light is shining through her eyes. “Ohh the sun, what a beautiful creation of yours, isn't it, God? Bringing warmth and light even on someone who sees nothing but darkness” They smiled. A solemn moment just for themself, he has never felt this alone, ever felt like even God herself left her in a room with nothing but a reminder of a beautiful outside that he will never see again. It feels like nothing in this world could ever fill the pages of her life that he cannot read anymore, nothing can help. Crowley barged in.

“Where's Muriel? Why are you alone?” Crowley looked around the hallway.

“Muriel? You're early, have you got the cocoa?” Aziraphale realized that tears fell from his little reflection and he wiped them as he turned to the direction of the door when he felt a gust of wind indicating someone opened it.

“Angel?” Crowley frowned, confused on why Aziraphale was crying, he looked in the direction where Aziraphale was looking and saw the sunlight directly hitting her face, Crowley couldn't do anything but sigh in pity. She walked closer and touched her arm.

“Oh of course it's you Crowley, how is my suit?” Crowley looked at Aziraphale with such look on his face when he does not know how to react, he looks at his arm to start writing and noticed the actual writing on there, he raised his brow trying to figure out what their conversation was with Muriel, no one else can do it but them. One word stuck with him, regret, he's ever so curious what Aziraphale's response was, did he regret choosing Crowley? Is he currently regretting it?

“Why are you here, dear? Are you done washing? Is it clean?” Aziraphale smiled very excitedly and Crowley snapped back into this reality.

“Oh right, the suit!” he grabbed Aziraphale's arm, “Y-E-S C-L-E-A-N” Aziraphale smiled happily and hugged Crowley

“Oh thank you, I really mean it” Aziraphale even clapped before his fingers tapped on his knees.

“Oh shut up angel” Crowley brushes off the gratitude

“I always knew you we n-, oh nothing never mind” Aziraphale held his excitement, Crowley chuckled.

Muriel came with the angel mug on their hand, them holding it only at the brim by wrapping their thumb and index around, the other fingers flicked over, they put it down the nightstand.

“Thank you Muriel” Aziraphale said as she felt their presence and smelled the aroma of his cocoa.

“Mr. Crowley, I will get back to looking after the bookshop” Muriel smiled and went downstairs.

“Crowley, have a seat beside me” Aziraphale patted the space beside him, Crowley sat and Aziraphale turned to him after sipping his cocoa.

“Crowley, I understand that it's hard for us to talk, you know with me ea- I mean without my ears, and I can't help but to miss your wiley voice” Aziraphale's hand slithered to Crowley's neck, wrapping it around, the demon's eyes went wide as the feeling of his angel's hand made every part of his body, feel….something.

“Talk to me Crowley, I may not be able to hear you, but I can feel it, and I don't have to understand, just talk” Aziraphale smiled

“You never understand anyway” Crowley rolled her eyes.

“Angel, how I wish that you hear me call you that again” Crowley can see Aziraphale smile, which she wouldn't have done if she heard what Crowley just called him.

“I had a place for us, a cottage, in the south down, away from this, all of it, I can hide you there from my lot so you won't have to do through that disgusting process, a house you always talk about, the cottage you want, the home I wish you'd see” Crowley sighed, as he took his glasses off looking at Aziraphale.

“Just the two of us, cottage at the south downs, what do you say, Angel?” and Crowley knows Aziraphale couldn't hear anything and he looked up as if he's begging God to please let Aziraphale see and hear again. Aziraphale still didn't reply. All they did was smile.

“You feel sad Crowley, but also happy at the same time” his hand moved to the demon's face and caressed his cheeks.

“I'm alright angel, I'm always alright”

“I love you, Crowley” words slipped out Aziraphale's mouth, the very sentence Crowley has always wanted to hear but never ever expected. Just a few words that made his cold heart pump very fast. Crowley was stunned sitting there staring at his angel. He slowly grabbed his hand from her cheek and moved it down his neck.

“I love you, Aziraphale” Crowley's eyes became wet, tears forming when he saw Aziraphale's teeth through her wide wide genuine smile.

Chapter Text

Time went by, Crowley stayed at the bookshop, day and night, taking care of Aziraphale. In his free time, he’d study the braille alphabet. Sitting beside Aziraphale, their hands over each other as Crowley guides Aziraphale’s hand on the braille sheet on his study table.

As Aziraphale’s hand traces the bumps on the braille, Crowley would then trace its corresponding letter on Aziraphale's forearm for him to understand.

“I don’t even know why I’m teaching him this, I'll always be with him anyway” Crowley muttered to Nina, who’s watching behind them. Nina shot Crowley a knowing look, she knew Crowley meant more than those words.

Aziraphale tugged on Crowley “Crowley, dear, can you look at what I just wrote?” Aziraphale said as he was showing his sheet where he had made some embossment. The braille read, CROWLEY. The very first word that Aziraphale learned in braille was his name and for some very known reason, it made his heart burn, like it went to hell for the very first time again.

“Maggie and I are moving in together” Nina suddenly blurted out. Crowley turned to look at her, he wasn’t really surprised, Nina on the other han was looking down at Aziraphale who’s obviously poking on his braille sheet, then she finally turned to Crowley.

“We’ll still be here in Soho, it’s just that things are getting seri–” Nina tried to explain but Crowley cut her off.

“You don’t have to explain to me, I-I-I-I’m happy for you both or whatever. It’s about time” Crowley stammered as she couldn’t find the words like envious or jealous.

“Yeah, what about you?” Crowley’s head went faster than the Bentley, hearing those words from Nina.

“What do you mean? Me and Aziraphale, we’re not really– it’s not- what do you mean? What about us?” Crowley sounded as defensive as he always does, his hands now in his pockets and his eyes laser-focused on Nina who’s now wearing that smug smile as she caught Crowley in this state again.

“Not you you” she gestured towards Aziraphale and Crowley, "I meant, just you, where are you staying now? I haven’t seen you leave this bookshop in a while, looks like you moved in before Maggie and I” Nina added and Crowley was partly disappointed that she wasn’t thinking about him and Aziraphale the way he thought.

“Oh well, yeah, someone had to look after the bookshop” Crowley evaded Nina’s eyes knowing she’d see through his lie.

“Isn’t that what Muriel’s doing?” Nina asked, looking at Muriel who’s dusting the bookshelf diligently.

“Well- yes- but- you know, just some extra measures” Crowley shrugged and Nina just nodded, unconvinced.

“Have your lot below checked up on you yet?” Nina raised an eyebrow, concerned, “or you know…” Nina nodded to the heavens.

“Nah, nope, my lot won’t disturb me for a long while…” Crowley paused, thinking about how someone from either side would start looking for Aziraphale, one way or another.

“Nina, could you bring me my 6 shots of espresso?” Crowley suddenly asked, which Nina didn’t mind, the serpent has always been spontaneous, she’s used to it.

As Nina left, “Muriel, come here” Crowley called out

“Yes, Mr.Crowley?” Muriel enthusiastically asked, holding the duster on their chest.

“Could you perform a miracle?” Crowley took her glasses off, putting it on his vest.

“I don’t think so, we can’t do that yet” Muriel disappointedly said, all that work and still no miracle powers from God.

“Yes, you can, go stand on that chair” smoke was almost visible from Crowley’s nose when he scoffed, he snapped his fingers and there was chairs at either side of the still busy Aziraphle, on which both Muriel and Crowley stood, Crowley took their hand and used a miracle to hide Aziraphale from the censors of the heaven and hell, going as far as doing it to Muriel’s mind as well, that's why he held their hand to make Aziraphale invisible, like Aziraphale never existed. Much like what they did to Gabriel before.

“Alrigh, that should be fine” Crowley sighed as e steps off from the chair, he still couldn't brush off the unease of the thought of having Aziraphale found by his lot especially with how much that miracle was.

“Sorry, had to be done” Crowley patted Muriel’s shoulder, Muriel doesn’t seem to know why Crowley is apologizing to them.

“Muriel, just a completely… random question… who’s Mr. Fell?” Crowley glared intensely at Muriel as she waited for their answer.

“Oh Mr. Crowley, how silly of you to forget, Mr. Fell owns this bookshop!” Muriel laughs slightly, confused and amused at Crowley's stupid question.

“Right… and nothing else?” Crowley raised his brow. Crowley and his stupid questions, as always.

“Well, he’s just like me… you know?” Crowley’s heart jumped a bit, has his miracle faltered? Does Muriel still see Azirapale as an angel?

“100% completely human, of course” Muriel flashed their innocent human smile and Crowley’s sigh of relief was almost as loud as the sudden thunder outside.
“Right, of course, humans” Crowley nodded, he turned his attention back to Aziraphale who’s been awfully quiet for a while now. He's still busy punching holes on his braille sheet. It’s just the alphabet, again and again, he’s just trying to memorize the braille alphabet but it seems like he’s making a lot of C.

As he expected, hell felt the massive miracle he just did. Shax suddenly appeared on the window, eyeing Crowley suspiciously. Crowley stood there, thinking for a while, just staring back. Crowley was thinking if Shax could see Aziraphale sitting by her side, or if his miracle worked. Crowley watched carefully as Shax’s eyes drifted down on Aziraphale, then back up at him, he’s still unsure if it meant something. Until Shax scribbled on her big notepad — that she apparently brings with her everywhere — then she put it up on the window for Crowley to read.

“We will find the angle” it says, it made Crowley sigh in both relief and annoyance — that until today, they don’t know how to spell properly —.

“Fuck off” Crowley scowled from behind the glass.

Even with the comfort of the stupidity of his lot, he knows that one way or another, they will get suspicious of the random blind man in Aziraphale’s bookshop. If hell wouldn’t be able to figure it out, heaven surely will know what’s going on, as this is not the first time a miracle like this was performed. He knew they had to go far away, or maybe it’s just an excuse for her to take Aziraphale to their cottage at the southdowns.