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Chapter Text

The first time Sakusa played against Ushijima left him captivated. He didn't expect himself to enjoy it as much as he did; he thought it would be like every other game. The repetitive winning or losing while sweating his ass off; nothing interesting. But with an opponent with a spin more wicked then his, he couldn't say no to the challenge set before him. Ushijima Wakatoshi was a fierce opponent, he fought with such passion that it brought Sakusa more joy than the game itself.
After that Sakusa wanted to get to know him better.

During the first training camp they attended together, Sakusa made it his mission to get closer to him. He would accompany him during stretches and solo practice, asking him about his past volleyball experiences. At first, Ushijima would give short straight forward answers; not going into more detail then asked. Sakusa liked that about him, but he kinda wished he would talk more.

But Sakusa himself barely talked, their interactions consisted of a few questions from the Younger boy then short awnsers from the latter. But the more they spend time together throughout the week they spend at the camp, both boys start getting more verbal and comfortable with each other. Sakusa had never talked so much in his life; he was surprised Ushijima was able to carry on a conversation. They got along so well, that Sakusa felt like they've been friends for a while.

At the end of the camp, they ended up exchanging phone numbers.

Ever since then, Sakusa and Ushijima have been spending more time together. Since their school breaks started and ended around the same time, they spent a lot of them together; but only at the Sakusa household.
Sakusa didn't know why he was never invited over, Ushijima never really talks about his home life. Sakusa didn't feel like he should ask. But he was able to lurn alot about the older boy; his favorite food, color, animal. The only thing about Ushijimas childhood that he talked about are his mainly positive memorys with his father. It was nice to hear.

Chapter Text

Ushijima's spring break began around the end of March, and Sakusa invited him to stay for a few weeks. He recalls from a prior chat that Ushijim dislikes staying at home during breaks because his parents are strict. He spent the majority of his leisure time outside, playing volleyball or painting, and occasionally going on long walks to avoid his family. Sakusa refrains from asking as to why, preferring not to cross any boundaries and make Ushijima uncomfortable.

Since Ushijima's arrival, the two have spent the majority of their time in Sakusa's room conversing and putting together a 1000-piece puzzle. Everything was going well. However, on the third day of Ushijimas' stay, Sakusa began to notice something odd.

After supper, the two returned to Sakusa's room. They continued to work silently on the puzzle, but Sakusa had a burning question in his mind. He reasoned that it would be best to ask once they were finished for the day. An hour went by before they were finished for the night, they moved the puzzle scattered pieces so they were no longer in the middle of the room. After that, they take turns getting ready for the night in the restroom.

Sakusa returned from the bathroom and scooted back on the mattress until his back met the wall. Ushijima trailed behind, sitting a few inches apart from the younger child, his knees crossed. "Wakatoshi... I've noticed that you haven't been eating much." He goes on to say.
"... Really?" Ushijima asks, his gaze fixed ahead. It wants to noticeable, but Sakusa saw how he tense up. "Yes. What you've eaten today doesn't even qualify as a proper meal." he passed, "And i know it can be hard to eat that much food but for someone so passionate about volleyball, I'd expect you'd eat more." He went on to say. Ushijima stayed silent for a moment, staring into the dimly lit room, “...I'm not that secure about my body.”
“You know you're not fat right?”

"... It's hard for me to believe that." Ushijima continues and Sakusa sees his eyes start to sting. "My mom has always made comments on my weight and body since I was: younger." he lets out, "I try to ignore it, but It's like a nagging feeling in my gut telling me to stop." he spoke softly, wrapping his arms around his gut, "I hate it. I hate feeling this way." Ushijima rested his head on his knees.

Sakusas heart aches for the older boy, watching him cry quietly in front of him. He feels bad for bringing up the topic,
"I'm sorry." Sakusa apologizes, scooting closer to the older boy.
"Why." Ushijima asks in a hushed voice.

"Because I brought up a sensitive topic, and now you're upset." Sakusa replied, gently rubbing his arm soothingly, "I apologize for making you sad, Wakatoshi-"
"No no no," Ushijima interrupts, shaking his head, trying to pull himself together, "I appreciate your concern, you don't need to apologize-" he paused, taking a deep breath before continuing again, "I'm glad you brought it up, I'm not really able to talk about it with other people." Sakusa watched as Ushijima folded his legs down, crossing over each other. He took a deep breath and sat up straight, "That was embarrassing." he mumbled while closing his eyes. Sakusa let out a small laugh before hugging his knees, "Do you want to lay down?"

Ushijima nodded his head lightly, the younger boy smiled once more as they got onto their respective sides of the bed. Covering themselves with an insane amount of blankets, the two layed down facing each other. "Do you think it's weird we sleep in the same bed?." Sakusa asks.
"No."

"... Do you think it's weird that I want to kiss you." Sakusa watched as Ushijimas face turned a faint shade of red. "No." he said faintly. "May I kiss you then?" Ushijima nodded, face getting more flush than before. Sakusa leaned towards Ushijima and kissed him slowly, brushing their lips together gently; he pulled back almost immediately after. Sakusa looked at the taller boy, "Your lips are soft." he said, brushing a strand of hair behind Ushijimas ear.
A small smile made its way on Ushijims face before he replied "Your's are to." he breathed out. After a brief moment, they both moved closer, connecting their lips once again. The kiss was longer than the last. Ushijimasis' lips were warm, his kisses tender and slow. Sakusa could feel the slight shiver running through the older one, he placed a gentle hand on Ushijimas cheek, pulling him a bit closer.

After what felt like hours, the two finally pulled away from each other, breathless from all the kisses.They stared into each other's eyes as Sakusa brought his arm down to wrap around Ushijimas torso; the younger boy's fingers tracing patterns into his skin. "Goodnight Wakatoshi." Sakusas voice was low and quiet, but audible enough for the older boy to hear.
"Goodnight Sakusa" he responded, smiling softly.

Chapter Text

It's been two days since then. Two days since they kissed that night.
Sakusa couldn't get the thought out of his head; Wakatoshis soft lips against his. His warm body wrapped around him as they slept. He wanted to experience that feeling again; but from that point on, It was like it never happened. Like that moment between them was something in the distant past that happened long ago. Ushijima had never brought it up, and any time Sakusa did, Ushijima would try to change the subject.

He didn't blame him though. Two guy friends kissing and sleeping in the same bed wasn't really normal. As much as Sakusa enjoyed it, he wouldn't want to make the other boy uncomfortable; or feed into the idea that what they did was ok.

“Wakatoshi.” Sakusa asks, sitting closer to Ushijima than he should be.
The older boy looked up at the flower crown he was making out of the stray flowers in Sakusas back garden. “Yes?”
“Do you ever have feelings for people that are like… not really something you should be feeling.” he asks, picking on the grass.

“Umm. No?” Ushijima pondered, “Most of my feelings towards people are reasonable and understandable.”

“That's not what I meant.” he sighs.
He could see the confusion suffering on Wakatoshis face as he tried to understand what he meant.
“I mean, like romantic feelings for someone.”

“Oh.” Sakusa watched as Wakatoshis face turned a faint tint of red before averting his eyes, “I'm not sure.” He says focusing on the flower crown again.

“I do.”

“Really?”

“Yah. They're amazing, beautiful and the prettiest person I've ever laid my eyes on.” Sakusa said, as he continued to look at Ushijima, “They are talented at so many things. They're nice, kind, and generous. They care about me and put me before themselves.” Sakusa buries his face in arms after he pulls his knees up to his chest.

“They sound nice,” he replies. Sakusa can't see, but he feels the slightest movement on my head. Lifting his head he sees Wakatoshis arms dropping to his lap
Reaching up, Sakusa felt the soft petals of flowers, “Why'd you put it on me?”

Ushijimas cheeks turned red before he answered “I made it for you,” looking away once more, “You said you wanted a flower crown so I made you one.”

Sakusa cursed to himself as he felt his face burn up. “Thank you.” he turned away, trying to hide his obvious blush.

“You're welcome.”

It's been a week, and spring back came to an end. Kiyoomi and his mother dropped Wakatoshi at shiratorizawa a day before school went back in session. Kiyoomi hugged him goodbye, then got back into his mothers car.
“See you soon?”

“See you soon.”