Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You know that thing that happens between friends, when you still care about each other, you still love each other, but you just drift apart because of various reasons? Then, whenever you meet up again, you don’t really know how to talk to each other anymore.

That’s Satoru and Shoko. It can’t be helped.

He meets up with her whenever he’s in Tokyo. They go out in the evening, he eats some cake, and she drinks some beer, and by the time she switches to drinking whiskey they usually run out of things to talk about.

“I don’t know how you can keep up with this crazy lifestyle you have. Don’t you miss sitting in one place for longer than a week?”

“I actually can’t remember the last time I was in one place for a whole week. You know how it is, Shoko, I’m busy. Between being a full-time sorcerer, doing all the diplomacy shit overseas and inner clan politics, it’s not like I have a lot of time to sit around.”

She sighs and shakes her head.

“How do you keep up with all the shit you have to do?”

Satoru shrugs, takes a stab at his strawberry cake, and puts it in his mouth. Shoko takes a sip of her drink and both of them look at their sides, obviously trying to find a subject to talk about. When nothing really comes up in the next minutes, he swallows the last of his cake and then asks:

“How’s Suguru doing?”

“He’s fine, you know, he’s Suguru. Got some new student to recruit out in the countryside and he decided to go personally to pick them up.”

“Right, I know he has a soft spot for the country bumpkins.” 

“If Suguru were here, he’d dropkick you talking like that about his students.” 

“Yeah, but he’s not. So I’m allowed to think it’s stupid.” He puts the spoon in his mouth and his chin in his hands, moves it around with his tongue. “I dunno how he can be a teacher. I think I’d lose my mind if I had to deal with teenagers all day long.” 

“You’re joking, right? He’s Suguru, he’s like a mother hen, and his students adore him.”  

Logically, Satoru knows all this. Suguru was made for his teaching position, he loves the students and the students love him, he’s got the empathy skills fit to reach out even to the surliest of teenagers and he’s always been this steady, reliable presence that kids feel reassured by. He gets it, yeah, Suguru is a great fit for his job.

It’s just that Satoru can’t help but scoff at it, just a little. Suguru’s always busy with his students, Suguru goes with them on missions and he likes to personally drive out to pick up his students whenever they recruit someone new. He’s friends with all the auxiliary managers, but whenever he has the time, he prefers to drive himself. Makes a little road trip out of it with his students.

Wholesome shit like that. Geto Sensei. Satoru’s teeth ache thinking about it.

And yeah, sure, fine , he can admit it’s cute.

It’s just that they never seem to be in the same place at the same time.

The last time he saw Suguru, it was three months ago when he came to one of the late night drinking dates that everyone was invited too. He came over half an hour late, stayed for a little bit and then left before anyone else, claiming he was supposed to get up early in the morning.

He can’t remember the last time Suguru and him were alone together for any amount of time. Maybe that’s for the best, because he’s not sure what they would talk about, it’s been so long since he’s been allowed to get close to the inner workings of Suguru head.

If he and Shoko are the sort of friends that have a hard time finding things to talk about, he and Suguru are now just friends In Theory .  

“Is he still dating that chick? The one with the nose ring?”

“Oh? That one? Wow, no, that was at least 3 people ago, you’re behind the Sugu-Gossip. He’s dating some pretty art school painter that fawns over his piercings and tattoos.”

One of the biggest mysteries of Satoru’s life is that somehow, out of all the people he’s met, Suguru ended up being the biggest slut. He’s not even sure how it happened!

One moment, they were all hanging out together and being highschool besties and all. Then the whole mess that happened in their second year, well. Happened . That definitely fucking happened.

And then after that, there’s a few years that blur together.

On Satoru’s side, it’s full of missions and work and honing his skills, and missions overseas and negotiating with people and – just a lot. A lot of shit to deal with. He was so fucking busy.

At some point though, it felt like he woke up from a daze to look around himself and realize that all his peers did their own thing in his absence and all of them had to cope with life in different ways.

Shoko was still besties with Utahime.

Mei Mei was investing in something called BitCoin.

Nanami learned how to bake bread from scratch.

And Suguru became a slut.

“Where does he even find the time to pick up all the skanks he’s sleeping with?”

“Hey!” Shoko throws a handful of peanuts at his head. They bounce off his Infinity, so she does it again. Satoru gets the message, lets his infinity drop, lets some peanuts hit him in the cheek. “That’s a rude thing to say. Don’t go calling people skanks just cause Suguru sleeps with them, he’s the one that’s available .”

“Why do you care what I called the people Suguru sleeps with?”

Shoko levels him with a look that’s meant to be scolding, but her heart-rate speeds up a little. He raises an eyebrow, despite it being covered by his blindfold.

“Shoko.”

“Yes?”

“Your pulse picked up when I said that.”

“What? No, it didn’t.”

“It did, it definitely did. Shoko, what are you hiding from me?”

She doesn’t say anything, but she picks up her whiskey glass and starts drinking from it. And Satoru gets it.

“Oh my God, Shoko . No.” He feels a little (a lot) betrayed.

Shoko sets down her empty glass and then looks at him roughly where his eyes are underneath his blindfold. She’s all red in the face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do! You very much know what I’m talking about! That’s why you’re looking at me like that! When were you and Suguru a thing and I never knew about it?”

“We weren’t ever a thing .” There’s a few seconds of pause. “We just slept together once or twice. It wasn’t a big deal.”

He huffs, and reaches across the table to the bowl of peanuts. He takes a handful of them and shoves them in his mouth, and swear to god, Shoko choose that exact moment –  

“Plus, it’s not like I’m special or anything, everyone slept with Suguru at least once.”

“Even Nanami? Nanami bakes bread as a hobby. He buys different types of fucking flour.” 

Shoko Shrugs. 

“Why would he sleep with Nanami? Nanami’s boring.” 

“You sound jealous.” 

“I’m not jealous, I’m just - surprised . Suguru used to be a good boy, you know. He used to scold me for sleeping around when we were in highschool, it’s just so strange to hear that the tables have turned.” 

They sit together in silence for a bit, Shoko drinks her beer and orders herself a new one and when she’s halfway done with it, she turns back to Satoru. 

“Hey, I kept wanting to ask - how come you and Suguru never slept together? Seriously, I still can’t believe it. All of us were sure you two were fucking back in high-school.” 

It’s Satoru’s turn to raise his shoulders. 

“I dunno, it just never happened. Me and Suguru were never like that - we were close, but we just never - ” 

“I always thought you two were so horny for each other.” 

Shoko’s not wrong about it, Highschool Satoru had been exceptionally horny for Suguru, but in his defense, Satoru had been a teenager - horny for anything and everything, no exception, and he had girls and boys throwing themselves at him and was mesmerized by choices and variety, pretty girls and pretty boys and tits and pussy and asses. It’s not like any of that meant anything, his dick reacted when a stiff breeze blew by, so of course he’d been horny for Suguru. 

Suguru, with his long hair and gentle smile and the way he said Satoru’s name and laughed at his jokes no matter how bad they were. 

Suguru, the one that scolded him when he was reckless and made sure to straighten the collar of his uniform and ran his fingers through Satoru’s hair when it was messy. 

Suguru, the one that apologized to auxiliary managers on his behalf when he acted like an asshole and reminded him to eat when he got stuck in a five hour long gaming marathon. 

So yeah - of course he’d been horny for Suguru. 

The thing is, even with his hormones running rampant all over the place, he had been able to recognize that the feelings he had for Suguru were different than whatever flavor du jour his dick was craving on a regular basis. Suguru was special, because Suguru was Suguru. Getting his dick wet was not more important than the softness between them so sleeping with him had been out of the question. 

Satoru gets bored of people often, though, and he’d been aware of it when he was a kid too. He didn’t want to jeopardize his relationship with Suguru. Sex was - is - fun while he’s having it, but people rarely keep him engaged for anything afterwards, and he couldn’t stand the idea of tainting his relationship with Suguru like that. 

Then, after The Incident with Toji Fushiguro and Riko Amanai, he leveled up in power and just got fucking swamped with work. He didn’t have enough time to fuck around anymore, and then by the time they graduated he kinda lost his appetite for meaningless sex too. 

Somehow the roles switched, and now Suguru’s the one switching people around like socks while Satoru’s scoffs at it. 

When he gets home later that night, he lays in bed and thinks about Suguru and at least here, in the privacy of his almost barren-but-perfectly-decorated apartment-where-he-sleeps-maybe-once-a-month, he can admit that he is jealous of the people Suguru fucks around with, because they get to spend time with Suguru. He’s even jealous of fucking Nanami, because somehow Nanami spends more time with Satoru’s best friend than Satoru does, and apparently Nanami even got to sleep with him. 

The thing is, Satoru never even registered when the break between them happened. He was too busy to realize they were drifting away, and by the time he landed back on earth with his feet on the ground, he realized that Suguru was a whole different person. It’s been years and he still hasn’t been able to bridge the gap between them. 

Suguru avoids him, politely and with a smile on his face. Suguru makes small talk with him and tells him about his students and about how much he loves being a teacher, he tells him about how Mimiko and Nanako are growing and how well they’re getting along with Megumi and Tsumiki. He gets random piercings and tattoos and his hair is so long, and he looks older, but no less pretty. 

Prettier . 

He smiles the same, though, and he still says Satoru’s name fondly when they say hello to each other, when they meet on the Jujutsu Tech hallways, Geto-Sensei and his flock of students that adore him and Gojo Satoru, Strongest Sorcerer, coming in to report from another mission.

His Suguru that’s not his anymore.

And he doesn’t know what to do, short of groveling for Suguru to look at him and talk to him and be friends with him again. He misses him.

However, he’s Gojo Satoru, and he’s neither a coward nor a slacker, so the second he decides he’s going to fix his relationship with Suguru and the sad, maudlin loneliness in his life, he means it. He’s fixing it, one way or another, goddamnit, because Suguru’s important to him and he wants to, and even though he doesn’t know.

He asks Shoko about Suguru’s schedule, and the next time they’re both in town, he makes sure to call in advance and ask him out for drinks. Suguru says yes. 

“I’ll invite Shoko and Nanami too,” he suggests, which is normal for them usually  because it’s never just the two of them anymore, but Satoru’s like - no, fuck that, actually. 

“I was hoping I could just meet up with you. It’s been ages since we hung out together. I think we’re due.”

“You want to hang out? And go out for drinks? You’re usually way to busy for that, and you don’t drink - ” 

And Suguru’s doing that thing again, where he’s trying to backtrack without actually backtracking. 

“I figure you’d prefer drinks over dinner.” 

“Ah, Satoru - ”

Suguru sounds a little exasperated, and there’s a pause. A long one, like Suguru actually thinking about what to do. 

It’s so strange to realize he and Suguru are a point in which Suguru has to think so much about meeting up with him. 

“ - alright, what the hell? Let’s get drinks, Satoru.”

And then, a day and several hours later, they meet at this bar that Suguru suggested. It’s not one of the places on his usual rotation with Shoko, but there’s still stuff to eat if he doesn’t want alcohol, and they don’t even look at him strangely when he orders a Virgin Pina Colada. Since he’s cute and Suguru apparently knows the bartender, he gets an extra pineapple slice on it. 

“Nanako tried to dye her hair blue because of some idol she loves listening to, but she didn’t want to bleach it first, so now her hair’s splotchy green and I don’t know what to do about it. We all tried telling her it’s cute, but then Megumi took one look at her and said she looks like she has seaweed on her head. Of course he’s the only one she believes,” Suguru says.  

“Tough. Is he right?” 

Suguru takes a long drink of his beer and then sighs, deeply and long suffering. 

“Unfortunately, yes.” 

It’s weird to sit in a bar and talk about the kids Suguru takes care of. All four of them are orphans and living at the Jujutsu Tech dorms, and likely the reason why Suguru never tried moving out. When Satoru moved out of the dorms and into his own apartment, he asked Suguru to move in with him. Somehow he thought that would be the natural way their relationship would evolve, but Suguru refused. 

Now, that idea seems foreign. 

He laughs.

“I should have known you’d be good with kids, you always had that in you.” 

“I like kids, Satoru. My students are my joy, and taking care of the kids is important!” 

“Yeah, I know, I know. I agree! It’s just…” 

He trails off, awkwardly, right as the music changes and doesn’t quite loop properly, so there’s just empty silence and Satoru cringes. 

“It’s alright, I always knew you’re not the type to like kids,” Suguru says, soft and understanding, and runs a hand through his long hair. He has a tongue ring that Satoru sees peeking out when he talks, and the snakebites on his lips make him look meaner than he is. 

“I like kids. It’s just that I like them…- conceptually . Theoretically. In practice - ” 

Suguru shakes his head and smiles at him. He’s wearing a sleeveless turtleneck and an open shirt on top of it. It falls off his shoulder when he moves around, so Satoru can see glimpses of his tattoos. 

“You, on the other hand, look at you. You’re like a single mom in a rockstar body.” And body-count .

“Well, some of us like kids in practice as well. And I don’t mind, I like taking care of them. I’ve been told I’m good at it too.” 

“I mean, you are. I should know, you used to take care of me.” 

It’s not like he means anything by it, it’s just the truth after all, but somehow it takes Suguru by surprise. His eyes go big a little, and then he softens and huffs an amused breath. 

“ Tsk . Sa-to-ru.” 

God, the way he says it, sends a spark of electricity through Satoru’s body. Ever since they were kids, there’s just always been moments where Suguru’s presence hit him harder than anything else. He figured it would eventually pass, but now they’re both in their late twenties and so much has changed, but apparently his dick still shudders with longing whenever Suguru says his name a certain way. 

Suguru leans back against the bar’s couch cushions and puts his hands in his lap. It’s not like he looks uncomfortable, just melancholy, and now that Satoru’s older he can see it and recognize it. 

“Hey, Suguru - how’ve you been lately? It’s been ages since I’ve seen you.” 

Suguru’s lips quirk, his little snake bites moving, and his eyes crinkle. Cute . He’s missed him so much. 

“I’ve been alright.” 

“Seeing anyone? Shoko said you broke up with the last one I met.” 

“Ah, Satoru - you really don’t have to do that.” 

“Do what?” 

“Ask about who I’m dating. I know you don’t care.”  

Suguru’s so blunt and casual about it he doesn’t even know how to react to it. He doesn’t even sound mad, just resigned and a little amused.  

“I do care.” 

“No, you don’t. You barely care when I tell you about my students, but you’re better at caring about that. You don’t even pretend to give a shit about who I’m dating or anything.” 

“I do care - ” he tries to defend himself but Suguru just gives him a look. Raised eyebrow and cocking his head to the side, smirk on his lips. Satoru sighs and adds, “I care if you care.”

“Tell me one person I’ve ever dated. Tell me their names. Anyone.” 

Nanami, he wants to say. Shoko. All our acquaintances . 

“That’s unfair, I’m not the one dating them,” he grumbles, “I don’t have to know who they are.” 

“You have no idea. And it’s fine, you don’t have to care, it’s just how it is. We’re not the kind of friends that talk about stuff like that.” 

But what kind of friends are we? 

He wants to ask for it, but doesn’t. Seems a little too pathetic to do so. 

Suguru gets up from where he’s sitting, grabs him by the sleeve of his haori and pulls him outside. Suguru says he wants to smoke a cigarette, so he takes his beer, pulls Satoru after him and they sit outside the bar together, leaning against the building. It’s dark outside and when Suguru lights up his cigarette, it casts all sorts of shadows on his face, making him look glowing and even more beautiful. 

He turns to look at Satoru looking at him, and makes eye contact for a moment and then chuckles at him. 

“Quit looking at me like that, Jesus.” 

“How am I looking at you?”  

“Like that , I don’t know, like we haven’t seen each other in ages and you’re about to go to war, I don’t know. There’s no need for that look,” Suguru rolls his eyes and his smile is supposed to be reassuring, but it’s not really working, “And your eyes are all glowy, so it’s just - I dunno, intense. And there’s no need for that.” 

He bumps their shoulders together and leans against Satoru slightly, and it’s startling how they don’t really touch anymore. 

They used to be so touchy together, he remembers how much he and Suguru used to touch each other, in ways that were one hundred percent friendly and never meant to be anything other than platonic. His hand on Suguru’s back, a squeeze to the shoulder, or Suguru’s fingers lingering a split second on his neck when he was straightening Satoru’s collar… the way he misses Suguru aches. 

He misses Suguru and the things they used to have together, and that’s not a grand revelation of anything, but…

“I miss you too, you know,” Suguru says, like he’s been reading his thoughts. Maybe they’re just written all over his face, “I really do, but you’re mister Big Shot Politician Clan Head, and when you’re not that, you’re the sorcerer supreme, and you’re abroad so much, and when you’re not abroad, you’re always in meetings, and I’m - I’m busy with my students. And when you’re actually around… it’s not just me that misses you.” 

“Suguru.” 

“When you are here, I don't wanna spend that time talking about meaningless shit. I’d rather tell you about the important bits.”

“Is that why your main subject of conversation is the kids?” Satoru tries to make it seem like a joke, but it sounds a little too bitter for it to land properly. Suguru still chuckles, though. 

“I suppose so.” 

He throws away his cigarette and then sits in front of Satoru. Puts his hands on his shoulder and smooths the lines of his haori. Satoru’s taken to wearing the Gojo Clan’s monogrammed Haori with the hakama pants and various tshirts, because he can’t really dress like a civilian anymore but he refuses to wear the whole goddamn get-up whenever he leaves the house. This is a somewhat solid compromise - still keeping up with some of the tradition but disrespectful enough of a combo that it makes the higher-ups scoff at him when they see it.  

“Did you have meetings today?” 

“Four. I had to meet with Naobito too.” 

“Harsh. Is he still crushing on you?” 

Satoru groans.

“Please, don’t.”

Suguru pushes his fingers in Satoru’s hair a couple of times and slicks his hair back. It feels electric, but it’s just such a Suguru gesture, something he’s done so many times before classes, or whenever Satoru had to go back to the Gojo compound. Said he looked over with his hair pushed back. 

“God, look at you,” Suguru says, “You almost look like that proper rich boy you’re supposed to.” 

“I’ll be twenty seven in a few months. I’m not really a boy anymore.”

“No, you’re not,” He grins at Satoru and shakes his head, “God, Satoru, we’re getting old. Wild. Never thought it would happen.” 

“Did you also think we’d be young forever?” 

Suguru chuckles. 

“No, I thought we wouldn’t get to live this long.”

It’s as much funny as it is sad, and both of them end up giggling over it, sitting outside the bar. Suguru offers him a sip of his beer and he takes it, then makes a face. 

“No.” 

“Still no?” 

“Still no. I dunno how you guys can drink that shit.” 

“Heh. Practice I suppose. Cigarettes help. Wanna try it like that?”

“ No , thank you.”

 A beat. Don’t say it, don’t, don’t. 

But he can’t not say it.

“I have one question,” says Satoru, “Just one. I’ve been itching to ask.”

Suguru looks at him expectantly, eyebrows raised and a small smile on his face. Satoru almost wants to quit while ahead, but then. When is he gonna get the chance to do this again? 

“Do you also get the feeling that we’ve broken up without ever even dating?” 

Suguru stops with his beer halfway to his mouth, and looks at Satoru with big wide eyes. Satoru should probably stop what he is saying, but he can’t take it back now, so might as well just plow forward.

“I was talking to Shoko yesterday, and she still can’t believe that we were never together. Apparently everyone else took it for granted that we were together, which implies that we had a relationship that I didn’t even know about. And I was wondering if you knew, since you were always much better with that kind of thing than I was.”

Suguru sighs and says his name, and Satoru glances at him. He looks tired, older, and suddenly Satoru wishes so hard to be able to go back to that period of time in which he was stupid and clueless, when he never realized how much he missed Suguru and the easy smiles he had just for him. And Satoru swallows, and thinks whatever , he’s always been direct, and he’s never been the type to shy away from anything. He’s honest and straightforward, and Suguru appreciated that, so he might as well go for it.

“We should have had this conversation years ago. We should have. I know that. Still though - I wanna know - did you ever want to be something more from us?” he asks. Say yes, please .

Suguru turns toward him and his voice sounds very mature and controlled.

“Don’t do this, Satoru. Don’t . Let’s just go inside and - I’ll get another beer and you’ll get some lemonade and we don’t have to talk about this. Really .”

And Suguru’s eyes are sad, and he’s smiling but it’s in a way that Satoru recognizes vaguely, and his voice is composed but only because he struggles to keep it like that. 

“Let's just forget about it, Satoru.”

It’s all the answer he needs. 

It’s on the tip of his tongue: he can’t and he doesn’t want to. He’s never going to want to and he’s never going to be able to. And even if he did want to, he knows he can’t, so he’s not going to bother trying. 

“The thing is, Suguru” – he pronounces his name deliberately – “that I have this idea and I’ve been thinking about it - and I don’t think I want to let it go.”

Suguru’s shoulders droop, and he gives in.

“What do you want from me, Satoru?”

It’s a direct and simple question - all the things Suguru is not - and Satoru has a million answers for it. He puts his arm around Suguru’s waist and pulls him against his body. Suguru allows it but he frowns at him, and puts a hand on Satoru’s chest like he’s ready to push him away any moment.

“I was thinking lately, you know, about you and me - I always wanted something more, and I think you did too, didn’t you?” Satoru teases him, and Suguru’s jaw tenses, “We were both just too caught up in other things to try.”

Suguru doesn’t say anything, he just looks up at Satoru through his dark, thick lashes. His face is tense, mouth downturned, and Satoru cups his cheek in his palm. 

“Hey, I’m gonna kiss you. If you don’t want me to, now’s the time to say no,” Suguru doesn’t say anything. He worries his lower lip between his teeth and Satoru thinks that’s really fucking cute, and then he kisses him, and it is perfect.

Kissing Suguru is perfect, and it’s like the universe telling he’s fucked it, and fucked up.

Suguru’s lips are soft, and smooth, and they work against Satoru’s gently. He puts his hand against Suguru’s jaw and  the side of his throat, and he licks his bitten lower lip and captures it in his mouth, sucks on it gently. He dips his tongue in Suguru’s mouth, and he tastes like beer and cigarettes and Satoru normally finds that gross but it’s Suguru so he doesn’t mind, he’s too focused on licking and curling his tongue against Suguru’s, and Suguru just lets him. 

Suguru drags his teeth a little over his tongue, not like a bite but just - it sends a shiver through him, he wonders if Suguru likes to bite. Satoru does. And Suguru sucks on his tongue, and it’s so dirty that Satoru hates all of the girls and boys that Suguru’s kissed before him, because Suguru kisses like he wants him to cum in his pants and he’s jealous of all the people that taught him how to do that. 

Satoru clutches at his waist and pulls him against his body; and Suguru groans when he feels Satoru’s erection against his lower belly. Everything’s hot and humid and Suguru presses his fingers against Satoru’s neck, pulling at his hair. At first, he pulls him in closer, and lets Satoru plunder his mouth deeper, and then he pushes him away so fast that Satoru’s confused. 

He looks down at Suguru and blinks, and Suguru looks upset - frowning brows and sad eyes, red at the corners, splotches of red on his cheeks. 

“ Hey - ” he wants to bend down to kiss him again and comfort him, but Suguru pulls away and pushes him away, hand on his chest, pushes him away .

“Don’t. Don’t. You don’t get to do this to me, I barely survived you the first time.”

“ What ?” 

“I’ve been - I’ve never asked you for anything, ever, never, ever. I’ve never asked for your attention, or affection, and or your time. I stayed in this goddamn place I hated because you said you’d be lonely without me, even though I wanted to run away - ” 

Suguru’s got tears in his eyes but he’s angry, and Satoru doesn’t even remember when the last time he saw him angry was. The red eyes and the tears speak to something else entirely, though, and it just blind-sides him so completely because he has no idea what to do with all these emotions that Suguru is throwing at his feet.

“Wait, it’s not  - you didn’t stay for me, you stayed for the girls -” 

“No, Satoru, I stayed for you. We stayed for you. I wanted to pack my things and leave and take the kids with me and then you said…”

Suguru pauses, closes his eyes and takes a deep, shaky breath. He looks down at his feet and to the side, like he can’t even look at Satoru while he talks. 

 “I doubt you remember, but I do. I was so determined to leave, and then you came back from some mission and you came to see me. We ate rice for dinner together in the cafeteria, and you complained about how bad the food was, and then said you wouldn’t know what to do without me. I don’t even remember what prompted you to say that - doesn’t even matter. But I couldn’t leave after that. I just couldn’t.” 

“I didn’t know you wanted to leave. I didn’t know, I - ” 

“Of course you didn’t know. Why would you? How could you guess?” 

Suguru’s tone is accusatory, and he starts pacing up and down the alleyway, and there’s the sound of the bar and the street behind them. Satoru just sits there, feeling out of place and stupid, and he feels like defending himself because he never knew and - 

“Suguru - ” 

He reaches out for him and stops him in his tracks, hands on his upper arms. He leans forward and touches their foreheads together.

Suguru’s breath is warm and wet and panting, lips kissed and bitten and red eyes. 

“ Don’t . I’m serious, Satoru. I’m over you.” 

“Liar.” 

Suguru shakes his head and takes a step back from him. 

“I’m serious. I’m over it. I’m over you. And you’re so selfish, you know, cause when you finally notice that I’ve moved on from you and I’m in a good place - ”

“That’s not fair.” 

Satoru wants to make Suguru understand that he always cared about him, it’s just that life got in the way, and - 

“No, you’re not fair. You don’t get to decide to want me now .”

“Suguru - that’s - I was a kid. I was stupid. And then I was so busy, everything was happening all at once and - ” 

“I don’t care. I don’t care. I can’t do this…- this earnest confession bullshit with you, Satoru, and you can’t mess me up again.”

And with that, Suguru finally looks at him.

The problem with Suguru is that he’s so beautiful - even with the piercings and the smudged eyeliner and the tattoos, the way he tries to cosplay the sexy bad boy - Suguru’s beautiful in the way that muses in classic art are, beautiful in the way that poets talk about their lovers, in the way the Yoshiwara oiran aspired to be beautiful, and sadness only amplified that beauty. Makes his cheeks flush and his eyes shine and highlighted a sort of elegant vulnerability that no amount of artifice could take away or mask. 

It tugs at Satoru’s heart so profoundly that he finds himself reaching out to him, wanting to wipe his lashes. Suguru shakes his head and pulls away, and it just breaks Satoru’s heart to see it. And he doesn’t know what to say or how to make it better, so he just pulls his hand back and closes his fist. 

Suguru just turns around and leaves him there.  

“Jesus Fucking Christ!” 

“Hey Shoko - I didn’t think you’d be up.” 

It’s four in the morning and he teleported himself to Shoko’s balcony. He meant to sit there a little, go inside and wake up  to talk to her. 

What he hasn’t anticipated is that Shoko, chronic insomniac that she is, might already be awake, sitting on the balcony herself and chain smoking. As one does.

“What are you doing here?” 

“Now? Couldn’t this wait until tomorrow?” 

Shoko’s dressed in shorts and an old ratty TShirt, she’s got pimple patches on her face and her hair up in a topknot. Satoru hasn’t seen her this disheveled in years, and he makes him smile.  

“No. I’m leaving for Cairo in two hours.”

“Oh. Cairo. What the hell are you doing in Cairo?” 

Satoru doesn’t answer her, and she gets the message. 

“Right. Mister Top Secret Missions. I forgot. When will you be back?” 

“I don’t know. Shouldn’t be too long. Two or three weeks at most.” 

“ Oh .” 

 There’s a pause between them. Shoko takes her tea mug and takes a sip of it. 

She lives on the sixth floor of her apartment building, and the wind up there is harsh. Satoru’s clothes billow. 

“So what did you wanna talk about?” 

“Did I fuck up my relationship with Suguru?” 

“Oh my god - what did you do?” 

“Kissed him. I kissed him. ”

Shoko blinks a couple of times, set down her tea mug. She looks at Satoru and sighs, and takes a beer from the cooler she has on her balcony. She opens with her lighter. 

“I can’t believe you’re making me drink at this hour,” she lits a smoke, “and I can’t believe you’d do that after all this time. Satoru! That ship is supposed to have sailed, you can’t fucking do that to people after ten years! Fuck .”

Satoru doesn’t say anything, and just lets her chew him out. 

“How did Suguru react? Let me guess, poorly ?”  

“Very much so.” A pause. Satoru looks over his shoulder at the Tokyo night below, spreading beyond. “He said I messed him up. I don’t know what that means.” 

“And you’re here hoping I’d tell you? Am I supposed to have some more insight into the workings of the elusive Geto Suguru? Unfortunately, I don’t have much for you.” 

“What do you mean? You hang out with him! You work in the same place!” 

Shoko shrugs. 

“Doesn’t mean I know much about what’s going through his mind. Suguru and I aren’t friends like that, we don’t talk about that sort of thing,” she laughs, and hugs herself, “But if you want me to guess - you and Suguru were complicated. Are complicated .” 

That’s her polite way of saying they’re messy and fucked up and that she thinks they’re idiots. Usually she’s more direct than that, but maybe Satoru’s face looks sad, maybe its just the late hour. He keeps thinking of Suguru’s beautiful face after he kissed him, and how sadness suits him so well. Maybe that’s why Satoru never noticed. 

“I don’t think you’re solely to blame for fucking up your relationship, though, at least not until now. Can’t say kissing him helped you out, though.” 

She bumps her beer against his head and leans against the balcony’s railing. 

“Geez, thanks.” 

“You have no idea what you’re doing with him, right? You’re so smart in everything, but in this - Like what’s the plan here, Satoru? Cause imploding a ten year friendship with no plan isn’t the smartest thing you’ve done, you know.”

“I know.” 

He realizes that, but it’s a bit humiliating to admit the truth - he’d hoped Suguru would be happy. He’d hoped Suguru would fall into his arms, and they could spend the night together. 

After that, there was something vague and not really well defined - but there was…something? 

He’s not the kind to be impulsive, except for when it takes over him and he can’t stop himself. Works on instinct. Usually it pays off. 

Satoru sighs, and looks into the distance at the first moments of sunrise over the cityline. 

“I have to go, Shoko. I’ll see you when I get back, alright?” 

She smiles at him and waves him off, and Satoru can’t help but feel like a coward as he leaves.

Chapter Text

Cairo is hot, it’s overbright and crowded. The sand and the dust don’t touch Satoru’s face but the sun does - burns the bridge of his nose and puts freckles on his face, and he looks at himself in the mirror of his hotel bathroom and wonders if he should heal it or leave it. It makes his eyes bluer. 

There’s few sorcerers out of Japan, and they’re usually much weak, but they Egypt has an long-standing tradition of highly educated sorcerers that specialize in the creation, preservation and usage of cursed objected, so he goes there from time to time - for findings, for research, for trying to buy things. They got specialists from all over the world analyzing Ryomen Sukuna’s fingers, but the researchers in Cairo were the ones that helped them determine how the fingers were preserved and sealed. And he trusted them more, since they weren’t affiliated with any of the organizations in Japan, so there was no meddling or interference from the higher-ups. 

His assistants book the same room and same hotel whenever he’s in Cairo, so he has a view of the Nile from his room and his favorite pastry shop in the city is right across the road. He could eat his body’s weight in qatayef and kunafa, so the shop clerk just raises an eyebrow at him every morning when he gets his order. 

“Are you buying all of these just for yourself?” she asks him one evening, when he stops in for his after dinner snack.

“Of course. I’m not here often, I might as well eat them until I get sick of them.” 

She smiles at him and bats her lashes. She’s very pretty, dark eyes and long, thick lashes, and red lips. 

“I bet it’s hard for your wife to keep up with that appetite,” she says, and rolls her eyes like she’s making a casual comment. 

“No wife.” 

“Girlfriend? Boyfriend ?” 

He shakes his head and laughs, and she slips extras in his to-go order. 

That night he tries to call Suguru again - he’s tried before, and he’ll keep trying, but Suguru doesn’t answer and his calls go unanswered and unreturned. Straight to voicemail, and he’s not pathetic enough to beg for a chat. 

He finishes his business in Cairo earlier than expected, re-schedules his flight, and on his last evening there, the shop clerk that slips him extra pieces of baklava ask him how long he’ll still be there. 

“Just this evening. I’m going to New York tomorrow.”

“ Oh ,” she looks disappointed, and Satoru shrugs. She glances at the clock on the wall and then back at him, “Do you have anywhere you’re supposed to be in the next hour?” 

Satoru shakes his head, and she smiles, unties her apron as she walks around the counter towards him. There’s no one else there, just the two of them, and she raises herself on her tip-toes to try to press a kiss against his lips, but she’s too short for it. 

It’s been a long time since he slept around with random people on his trips and missions. It’s not his thing anymore. 

Satoru’s phone is heavy in his pocket, though, and he thinks about how many times he’s tried to call Suguru without getting any answer, and it scratches at his insides. Suguru’s got girlfriends and boyfriends and fucking everyone in Jujutsu Society up and down, and Satoru’s not exactly lonely but solitude feels different nowadays. He makes up his mind on the spot, puts an arm around her middle and kisses her on her mouth. 

They go in the back of the shop and fuck on one of workbenches. 

Her eyes go really wide when she sees his dick and she’s unsure when she touches it, and Satoru has to be really careful because she’s small and flinches if he pushes in too deep. She can take about half of it comfortably, which is usually the standard, and he has to go slow . 

Contrary to popular folklore among men, having too much dick is a thing is definitely a thing, and most people aren’t size queens, and even if they are - usually they’re referring to slightly bigger than average, not Satoru’s size. It limits a lot of the fun you can have with it - since he can’t even remember the last time he was able to bottom out inside someone or finish from penetration. 

Satoru fucks her until she comes, and then pulls out and finishes himself off on her thighs and belly.

“I don’t usually do this sort of thing, but I -” she avoids looking at him and suddenly he remembers why he stopped doing this sort of thing. He’s so bad at dealing with the awkwardness afterwards.

“It’s alright. I figured you didn’t. Don’t worry about it.” 

So many people just give into the impulsiveness of the moment and have doubts about fucking strangers afterwards, and Satoru just does not have the patience to gently reassure them afterwards. 

Suguru’s probably great at it, though. 

Suguru’s sweet and patient and acts kind. He probably smiles at them and makes them feel so nice that they don't even get post-fuck regrets. 

Meanwhile Satoru - it’s always hard not be a little disappointed, and that probably shows. And he’s never seen the point in asking for anyone’s number (he’s not gonna call, he doesn’t date, he’s not going to meet any of them again), he doesn’t see the point in reassuring them that they’re not slutty (he prefers it if they are, actually, experience makes it better, and it’s obvious when they don’t really know what to do), and he doesn’t see the point in faking intimacy.

Satoru picks up his pants and pulls out his phone, looking at the screen to see if he has any missed calls - none. No messages. 

It’s 10:30 PM in Egypt, which means it’s 5:30 in the morning in Japan, and Suguru usually wakes up early. 

Suguru’s schedule in school was crazy. He woke up super early and went to the gym, and he showered and did his hair and ironed his clothes and had breakfast before Satoru even rolled out of bed, all of that so he could knock on Satoru’s door at 7:30 AM to wake him up. If Satoru didn’t answer, he’s just let himself in, and pull the covers off his head and shake him awake, and Satoru remembers early mornings being nice - waking up to Suguru’s exasperated face looking down at him. 

Suguru would say -

“Wake up, Satoru. Satoruuuu. Saaaaa-to-ruuuuu, ” and his voice would pitch higher, he’d sound whiny. 

And he’d groan about being woken up and say “just five more minutes, ” but when he’d eventually get out of bed and stretch, he’d smile at Suguru and wink at him. 

And Suguru’s usual answer would be - 

“Come on, come on, Satoru. You need to get breakfast before we get to class or you’ll be insufferable for the whole day, ” because Suguru loved to fuss over him and make sure he ate enough, got all his macros and everything

And inevitable, whenever they’d get into that, Satoru’s answer would always be the same -

“What would I do without you?” 

“Starve.”

And Suguru would roll his eyes when he said that, but he would blush, or he’d push his hair behind his ear, or -

God, he’d been an idiot. 

And now he gets to look at the screen of his phone - and he has no missed calls, no messages from Suguru, just radio silence ever since he kissed him. 

Is getting rejected now better or worse? 

“Hey,” he says, looking over his shoulder at the girl, “Do you wanna go for another round?” 

Satoru’s only in New York for three days, but New Yorkers are straightforward and to the point. He’s walking out of his hotel lobby as his phone rings - not Suguru, just his assistant letting him know that the Kamos are proposing another marriage alliance, as if no one gets the messages whenever he rejects all the women they parade in front of him, if he wanted to get married, he’d just marry Mei Mei because she’s practical and a good business woman, so he wouldn’t have to feel obligated to get emotional with her, and - 

Anyways. New York. He’s on his phone. 

There’s a guy with two to-go coffees heading straight at him, with such precision that it can only be intentional, and he bumps into Satoru very purposefully - bumps into his infinity at least, and drops his coffees at the same time and Satoru wants to roll his eyes because it’s such a cliche . But sure, he’ll play along - when the guys loses his balance very dramatically, Satoru puts and arm around his waist and asks him if he’s okay. 

“Are you alright?” Satoru asks him, and the young man looks up at him very openly smitten, and smiles. Satoru smiles back.

“Yes - yes! You have good reflexes, I would have broken an ankle if you hadn’t caught me.” 

He puts a hand on Satoru’s chest - bold - and looks him up and down, trying to figure out why none of the coffee got onto him. He’s obviously a little embarrassed, but in a way that seems studied and purposeful. He’s got long hair, pin straight and a middle part, and he’s pretty. Slim build and elegant features.  

“Hmm - I’m sorry about your drinks - want me to buy you new ones?” 

The boy does a double take, blinks fast and cocks his head to the side. 

“That easy, huh?” 

Satoru laughs. 

“That easy, yes,” he confirms. 

His name is Eli and he’s really fun, Satoru thinks he’d probably genuinely like him if given the chance. He calls Satoru “ daddy ” while they fuck, and he when he sees him looking at his phone afterwards, he’s nosy about it. 

“You know, at first I thought you’re one of those business away on a holiday that’s looking to cheat on someone, you’re really pining for that phone, aren’t you, daddy?”

Satoru makes a face. 

“I am not old enough for you to call me that.” 

“Daddy isn’t about age, though, it’s more of a vibe thing - “ that makes him chuckle, “tell me about them, I’m curious.”

His first impulse is to cage up and evade, but then, it’s not like he’s got anything to hide from this guy he’s never gonna see again. 

“His name is Suguru.” 

“Bad break-up?” 

Satoru thinks - well, you can call it that way, even though it’s not really the case. 

“We never dated. We were just friends. I suppose we were just never in synch with each other.” 

“Daddy, that’s so tragic. I’d offer to suck you off but to be honest, I gag when I brush my teeth so I don’t think I’m cut out for that.” 

Satoru genuinely laughs at that, and he goes to the little fridge and pulls out a box with fancy golden lettering on it. He opens it, takes out a piece of qatayef and bites into it. He offers the box to Eli. 

“Want one? I was in Cairo yesterday.” 

“Oh wow. Wow. So these are from Egypt? How the hell did you get these through TSA, are you allowed to bring in them here?” he takes one and moans in delight while biting into it.  “Did you like - smuggle contraband candy into the USA?” 

Satoru thinks for a second before answering, honestly - 

“I wouldn’t know, actually. I didn’t come fly here.” 

“So how’d you get from Cairo to New York?” 

“I teleported here.”

Eli bursts into laughter.

Satoru’s in Sank Petersburg when two girls proposition him. One of them has haired that’s dyed black and the other's blonde, and they’re the sort of glamorous that you rarely see in Japan. He says yes because why not , he’s never had a threesome before so that seems like fun. Blonde girl rides his face and brunette girl rides his dick, and they kiss each other while at it, and Satoru feels more like he’s there as an oversized sex toy rather than a participant. 

It’s pretty fun, though, all things considered. More fun than sex usually is for me. Solid 8.5/10. 

After they’re done, he picks up his phone and sees that he has a notification from an app. Clicks on it and sees pictures of Suguru, sees him tagged by his students in cute candids, with the caption “ Geto-Senseeeei!!!!”   and damn, that’s so goddamn adorable. 

Suguru’s got a pair of students in his first year that are so obviously smitten with each other, it’s a little gross. Hikari? Hakari? Some Evangelion sounding name and his ambiguous gendered partner that looks at him with literal stars in their eyes. Suguru thinks it’s super duper precious because he’s told Satoru so, and when the pair of them tag him in posts, Suguru’s always smiling. 

Satoru gets it, though, why Suguru’s students adore him, because nowadays Satoru also gets a little smitten whenever he stalks Suguru’s profile and sees candid shots of him doing mundane things. Mimiko and Nanako are the best providers of Suguru paparazzi pics, because they’re always glued to his side and they’re both obsessed with sharing photos. Sometimes Suguru lets them braid his hair, and it’s gets him really fucking soft to see Suguru’s crinkled eyed smile with the snakebites piercings and septum and his hair braided on the side of his shoulder, San Rio clips and all. 

“Hey, are you even listening to what I said?” the blonde girl says. 

“No, I don’t think he’s listening at all,” her friend teases, and grabs her arm and leans over her shoulder, “Why are you so wrapped up in  your phone when you could be wrapped up in us?” 

“Obviously he’s heartbroken.”   

“Am not,” he responds, and rolls his eyes. They’re in his hotel room, and naked. It’s alright that he’s not really interested anymore, because they’re obviously more interested in each other anyways, glued to each other’s sides and touching each other’s skin. It’s not an act either, because if Satoru’s good at one thing, it’s recognizing longing. 

None of his business, though. 

“Show me then - ” the blonde says as she bounces over to sit next to him. She drapes herself over his shoulder and looks at his phone, and he would have had enough time to close the screen, but he very purposefully doesn’t, “ - oh . Cute.” 

“I wanna see too!” the brunette says, and the comes over to his other side to look at Suguru’s picture on his screen. She studies for a second and then asks, “Are you gay?” 

Satoru laughs. 

“No. I don’t think I’d get it up for women if I were.”

“Are you cheating?” 

“I would never!” 

The women both look at him, now flanking him and shooting questing from each side. 

“Did he cheat?” 

“On me? No, we were never together.” 

“Is he not gay? He has to be, he has a septum piercing. Straight men don’t have septum piercings!” 

“He’s very pretty though, he looks like he cries in bed.” 

“Can you two please stop talking about Suguru like that? It’s uncomfortable?” 

They look at each other with raised eyebrows and say stuff in Russian. He’s never picked up much of it so he doesn’t get what they’re saying, but at the end of it they turn towards him with overly interested expressions and start shooting advice.

“So why aren’t you together? Did you get rejected?” 

“Is he taken? That shouldn’t be a problem, you’re handsome and you have money, I’m sure you can convince him to cheat?” 

“If you have a really annoying personality, you just have to fuck him good, he’ll forgive you - ” 

“Right? Even the most annoying man is agreeable is he has money and can give you orgasms! You can’t complain if you’re satisfied!” 

“Make sure to buy him gifts! He seems like he likes jewelry, just buy him nice things, don’t be stingy!” 

They both talk his ear off after they start, giving him all sorts of advice on how he’s supposed to be wooing Suguru. They suggest a lot of gifts, a lot of pampering, very little talking. They’re both snarky and really fun, actually, in a very direct and disdainful sort of way that Satoru finds endearing, so he lets them raid his mini bar for alcohol while he eats all the complimentary candy. 

Then, his phone on the table stars ringing and when he picks it up, his heart jumps because the name on the screen says Suguru .

“It’s Suguru! He’s calling me!” he announces. 

“Good luck, get a date!” Blondie says, and her friend gives two thumbs up. 

He takes a deep breath, clears his throat and answers in what he hopes is casual enough voice. 

“Suguru! Hey! I wasn’t expecting you to call.” 

“ Ah - Satoru. Hey. I’m sorry it took a while to get around to calling you, I had a lot on my plate - ” 

Suguru, Suguru, Suguru, you liar, Satoru thinks fondly, as if Suguru hadn’t seen the twenty or so missed calls from Satoru over the past few weeks and just choose to ignore all of them. 

“It’s alright,” he says, keeping it cool, because he wants to call out Suguru for lying but also doesn’t want spook him either, “I’ve been busy too. So busy. Didn’t even think about - ” how you ignored me after I tried confessing to you. 

 The girls on the bed are making faces as if they don’t believe him. 

“Ah, it’s good, it’s good then. I’m glad everything is alright and you weren’t worrying. Everything is good here, I just…” Suguru trails off and Satoru’s stomach twists, because he realizes Suguru means to brush him off completely and pretend like nothing happened. Satoru doesn’t think he can pull that off, but he also just doesn’t want to. 

“Yeah. All good, all good.” 

He can’t quite keep the sharpness and bitterness out of his voice. 

“Ah.” Suguru catches it, though, the coolness and disappointment, “Is this a bad time? I don’t wanna bother you, Satoru, it’s just….”

Fuck. He can’t stand the tone of Suguru’s voice. It makes him sad.  

“You could never bother me, Suguru. ”

“ I just wanted to ask when you’re coming back - ” he says, quickly and apologetically, “ It’s Nanami’s birthday and -  ” 

“Don’t tell me I’m being invited?”

“Of course you are, we’re throwing a surprise birthday party for him, Shoko asked me to call you. It’s not like a big party but you know, we’re doing a little thing.”

He wants to laugh. It’s so goddamn insulting and disappointing. Satoru wants to talk to Suguru for fucking weeks, and Suguru never called him back, and now Suguru’s calling him to invite him to Nanami’s birthday? After he knows Suguru slept with him at some point? 

“How cute.” 

His voice is flat, and the girls behind him audibly cringe. 

“Anyways, it’ll be fun, and a chance to hang out. You haven’t been around for a few weeks, have you? We can get together and chat.” 

“Chat. You want to chat.” 

This has to be a joke, because he told himself he’s not going to get upset, but it’s hard when Suguru wants to pretend like nothing happened and act casual, and invite him to fucking Nanami’s surprise birthday party, and the last time Satoru saw him he had tears in his eyes and telling Satoru how he’d gotten over him. 

“Yeah. I want to - I want… ” Suguru sighs . “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” 

Did Suguru fuck Nanami or did he let Nanami fuck him? What makes him angrier?

“Why did you call me and not Shoko? If it’s her idea.” 

A pause on the other end of the phone. 

“Idiot. Maybe I wanted to talk to you.”  

 He should really just take that statement for what it is, a concession on Suguru’s part. Problem is, Satoru’s pride feels bruised.

“It’s been weeks. Weeks .”

“ Don’t. I told you, I was busy - ” Somehow, Suguru keeps his voice light, despite the obvious warning in his tone. Satoru realizes that if he pushes this against, Suguru is just going to clamp up even more. 

Goddamnit

He breathes in and counts backwards from 10, and when he gets to 5, he asks - 

“So when and where is this party gonna be?” 

He gets back to Tokyo on a Friday, and on Saturday he dresses up, gets a bottle of very expensive whiskey as a gift for Nanami, and goes to the bar that Suguru texted him about. People are actually surprised to see him there, and initially he wants to be annoyed by it, but then - he’s been away longer than usual and he doesn’t always make it back in time for parties and celebrations. 

Nanami is not necessarily happy to see him, but then again, Nanami never looks particularly happy. He’s grateful for the gift and thanks him, polite as ever. Shoko looks at him suspiciously, but she doesn’t say anything.

“No date?” Utahime asks Suguru, and he just shrugs. 

“I broke up with Aiko last weeks. Wasn’t working out.” 

“Hmmm - you always break up with them because it’s not working out. Have you actually tried putting some effort into any of your relationships?”  

Suguru doesn’t responds, he just shrugs his shoulders and smiles. 

“I’m gonna go out for a smoke, alright? I’ll be back afterwards.” 

He takes his beer outside while everyone else keeps chatting. Shoko stares at him and shakes her head, as if expressing her disapproval, so Satoru stays put waits exactly one minute, until Utahime drags Shoko’s attention away from him and into some riveting conversation with Mei Mei. It’s not like anyone is paying too much attention to what he’s doing, so he slips outside and finds Suguru in the alley next to the bar, back presses against the wall and taking a swing of his drink. 

Looks familiar. Same scenario like last time, Satoru can only hope it’ll end differently. 

He remembers the pretty tears on Suguru’s face, the kiss they shared, the sadness and heartbreak in Suguru’s voice…

For a second there, he considers leaving. Turn around and go. 

Maybe the best thing he can do is leave Suguru alone - and isn’t that a wild ass thought. Satoru has spent weeks obsessing over how to get a hold of Suguru to talk to him, and now that he’s so close, he’s thinking of giving up. 

Gojo Satoru isn’t a quitter. 

“Hey Suguru - ”

Suguru turns to look at him, and his eyebrows go up slightly, eyes a little wide. Deer in the headlights expression before he pulls himself together. 

“ Satoru .” 

Suguru always says his name as if he’s breathing out a sigh of relief. 

“I brought you something,” he says, and walks over to him, “I know it’s been a while since I brought you souvenirs, but - ” he pulls out a little box of treats.

Suguru eyes it and laughs.

"Since when do I eat sweets?" 

"You don't," he admits with a sheepish grin, "But I thought we can share." 

"Okay Satoru, let's share it, then."

Suguru opens the box and takes one chocolate covered praline from inside. He puts out his tongue, his little tongue ring gleaming, and sets the candy over it. It's so purposefully erotic that Satoru gets whiplash from it, fully expecting this to be a seduction attempt.

Suguru chews it slowly and delicately, letting it melt on his tongue and sighing.

"It's been ages since I've had sweets. I don't buy them for myself. Guess I didn’t realize I wanted any" 

"Well lucky you, I came around to satisfy your cravings." 

Suguru laughs like he thinks Satoru’s stupid flirting attempt is funny.

"Take another one," he urges.

"Okay. Pick one for me. You can put it in mouth". 

Suguru opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out to Satoru. 

Satoru picks candy and puts it on Suguru tongue, then smushes it with his thumb and makes the vanilla cream burst from the chocolate casing. Suguru looks him straight in the eyes like a challenge, and he closes his mouth around Satoru’s thumb to suck the cream off of it before pulling away, releasing his thumb with a pop.

"You know what I've been doing lately, Suguru? I've been fucking men and women with long hair and thinking about you while I'm in them." 

Suguru laughs at him, and his voice is light and sweet and teasing. 

"Have you? Is that how you get off lately?" 

Suguru presses steps into his space, puts a hand in his chest and drags it down Satoru's front. He's close enough to kiss, but Satoru doesn’t go for it, he just wants to see what Suguru’s plan can possibly be. He feels Suguru’s breath on his lips, the warmth of Suguru's body against his. Suguru’s hands grabbing at his chest and kneading his flesh, dragging down his sides, over his laterals and waist, over Satoru’s hips and his thighs. 

Satoru keeps his hands to himself, in his pockets, and lets Suguru fondle him.

"What game are you playing with me?"

This foxy, horny vixen that's throwing himself at him is so different from the Suguru that told him he was over him through tears. Suguru’s lips twist at the side, eyelashes droopy. 

"Is that what you think this is?" 

Suguru grabs his cock through his pants and squeezes him. 

"Tsk, Sa-to-ru~. If I wanna play with you, are you gonna say no?"

Satoru looks at him seriously. He's slightly pissed because this attitude switch is so annoying to him, no idea what Suguru’s thinking, but…

He raises a hand to Suguru’s cheek and cups it in his palm. Suguru leans into his touch like a cat, never breaking eye contact. Satoru runs his thumb over his lower lip.

There’s people just outside the alley and walking on the street outside. Anyone could come over to check on them at any point. 

Suguru’s pink tongue pokes out between his teeth and licks at the pad of his thumb.

Fuck it, who cares.

"On your knees."

Suguru smirks and drops to his knees smoothly. He opens Satoru’s pants and pulls them down with his boxers, takes his cock out and stares at it for a second, blinking at it as if he didn’t expect it to look like that. Satoru leans against the wall and subtly shifts his hips forward, pushing it into Suguru’s face and against his cheek. 

“ Satoru -” Suguru whines, fists Satoru’s cock and pumps it a few times, slowly, like he wants to test the length and girth of it. Suguru pulls back his foreskin and thumbs the slit of his dick before swirling his tongue around the head.

Anyone can just come outside and look for them. It’s a miracle no one came to check on them yet. 

And still, Suguru looks up at him with the prettiest doe eyes he’s ever fucking seen and puts his lips around Satoru’s cockhead, moving his pierced tongue over the sensitive, swollen glans. He sighs, mesmerized, and Suguru pushes himself down his length inch by inch. The thick girth of him pulses.

Satoru’s experiences with getting his dick sucked are mostly disappointing - lots of toothy blows and pain, or just flat out ‘no’ s because no one is actually eager to get their jaw forced open by cock. Knowing that, he holds his breath while Suguru swallows him down, right until his nose presses against the short trimmed hairs at the root of Satoru’s cock.

Suguru, as it turns out, has no problem with taking him down his throat fully, no gagging and no struggles, just smooth and hot and wet and tight, his throat constricting around Satoru’s dick. He swallows around his length before pulling away, bobbing his head, slobbering and slurping around each inch of it. Suguru moans around him, the vibration running through Satoru’s body and making his throbbing cock to leak more.

"You’re so good at this, fuck -" Satoru mutters, only heard between them. His voice isn't as loud as usual but it’s deeper, like being pulled from his chest. He groans and puts a hand on Suguru’s head, and sees how Suguru’s golden-brown eyes roll back, eyelashes fluttering and tears threatening to escape, "So pretty, taking all of me like this."

Suguru hums, and Satoru caresses his face while he looks up, pets his cheeks when they hollow and lays his palm over Suguru’s throat so he can feel his cock bulging against his palm when Suguru deep-throats. His hips snap forward involuntarily and it makes Suguru moan, eyes fluttering and drooling around him. 

Suguru puts both hands on Satoru’s abdomen and pushes his TShirt up, running his palms up and down the flat, hard muscles of Satoru’s stomach. Spit runs down the sides of his mouth, down his chin, Suguru drools easily and apparently he gives sloppy fucking blowjobs, and the eyeliner he uses gets smudged under his eyes. 

Suguru pulls away from his cock with a gasp and Satoru almost whines at the loss of it, but he wraps a hand around it tight and jerks him off while he presses his mouth to Satoru’s sack. He takes his balls in his mouth gently and rolls his tongue over them. 

There’s cars passing by on the street, headlights on. There’s probably people passing that turned their head around to see them and just decided to move along. 

Suguru puts his tongue out and rubs the head of Satoru’s cock over his tongue ring, and he chokes at the sensation of it. 

“Suguru - I’m - ” 

“I know. Come on - give it to me. I’ll swallow.” 

Suguru just keeps the head of his cock in his mouth and and runs his tongue over it, jerks him off with both hands until he cums in his mouth and then swallows, just like he said he would. He even opens his mouth to show Satoru it’s empty. 

He can’t remember the last time he had an orgasm so good it left him dizzy, but that’s where he is now. He can’t even focus on saying much, just runs his fingers through Suguru’s hair while the other pulls up his boxers and pants and tucks his cock back in his clothes. 

Suguru sits up and straightens his clothes, and Satoru takes his cheeks in both hands and makes his stay put. He wipes his thumbs under Suguru’s eyes and wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his haori. 

Neither of them say anything - Suguru’s face is still flushed and breathing heavily, and Satoru’s brain hasn’t regained its functions yet.  

“Satoru? Suguru? Are you there?” 

“Where else would they be? They’ll come back eventually…” 

“Nanami, just - “

Suguru moves before he does, stepping away from Satoru and yelling for them. 

“Shoko! We’re here!” 

Shoko and Nanami turn the corner and Suguru smiles at them, waving. 

“There you are. What are you two doing here, I was looking for you.” 

“You know. We were just chatting a little,” Suguru walks over to her and takes her glass from her hand, “What do you have here?” 

“Whiskey sour,” she explains. The glass is full, looks like she barely touched it.

“Ooooh - don’t mind if I do.” 

Before Shoko can protest, he raises the glass to his mouth and drinks it in big gulps until there’s nothing left. It drips down the side of his mouth. Shoko just stares, and Suguru sets her now empty glass back in her hand and smiles at her with his eyes crinkled shut and a new flush on his cheeks. 

Suguru turns around and leaves them all speechless, and not only does he leave them sitting there like a bunch of assholes, he leaves completely , summoning his pink Manta Ray and waving them off before they have a chance to say anything. 

Nanami blinks, shakes his head and leaves, muttering “ I don’t want to know ” under his breath. Shoko looks at her glass and then at Satoru. 

“What did you do to him?” 

“Me? I didn’t do anything! I have no idea what - ” 

“ Bullshit . What did you do? I haven’t seen him in a mood like that in ages.”

“I didn’t do anything, and I hate that you’d say that. If anything, he’s the one that - ” 

“The one that what?” 

“Nothing. It’s nothing .”

He really doesn’t wanna get into it with Shoko, because in all honesty, he’s just confused by Suguru’s behavior, and the way he just left so quickly. Satoru tries calling him after he leaves the party and he gets the very familiar Straight To Voicemail. 

When he gets home, he tries calling again and no answer, so he chucks his phone against the wall in frustration and groans.

“Somehow, I have the feeling I fucked up worse than the last time,” he says outloud, and the silence of his apartment agrees with him.

Chapter Text

Satoru’s a little hung-up on Suguru. A little bit obsessed, maybe. 

He keeps thinking about that night during Nanami’s birthday party, when Suguru got down on his knees to suck him off so perfectly that it left him shaking, like he lost his coherency and his brain felt like it was leaking out of his ears. Just Suguru, Suguru, Suguru everywhere inside his brain.

That said - Suguru’s upset with him. Shoko thinks so too, she thinks Satoru’s the one that did something to him, and therefore she’s upset with Satoru too now. She doesn’t even let him defend himself, she just thinks it’s Satoru’s fault that Suguru’s messed up and ‘off’ and he should just fix it, but whenever he tries to reach out to Suguru, he’s simply cut off. Again. 

For someone that claims not to be playing games, Suguru sure does like it when he can get Satoru to chase after him, because why else would he be acting like that? Minx. 

Is this some weird Suguru tactic to keep him hooked on him? Satoru would never hook up again with someone that sucked his dick and then didn’t answer his phone the next few days, but Suguru’s got him chasing after his ass even though he never actually gives him any sign of wanting him back, and it’s frustrating. 

Then, one day, something clicks in Satoru’s head and he tells himself he’s not going to be chasing after this frustratingly elusive man again. He loves Suguru, will always love Suguru, but he’s got his pride, and he can’t keep doing this to himself. 

Satoru is determined and persistent, but there’s a difference between that and being a full on masochist. 

With that, he promises himself that he’ll respect Suguru’s wish of being left alone, and save his dignity to not contact the man again. 

And for a while, it works like that. Suguru ignores him and Satoru ignores him back. 

They still nod at each other when Satoru’s at Jujutsu tech, but they each keep their distance, and things just remain like that. It’s heartbreakingly easy to slip out of each other’s lives. Satoru’s just alone all the time, or he’s in meetings, and Suguru’s got his students, and his friends and his flings. 

It’s whatever. They’re adults. It’s not dramatic.

Satoru knows Suguru cares about him, and he’s convinced that he’ll come around back to him eventually. Satoru’s not a romantic by nature, but he thinks he knows Suguru well enough, and he knows this isn’t the end of Satoru-and-Suguru, they’re just going through a weird phase where it’s hard to define what’s going on between them and where they’re supposed to be heading. If the relationship between them ends up being romantic or not, that remains to be seen.

Satoru’s not the ideal person to navigate this shit, but Suguru is just as messed up and complicated.

So they just leave things be.

Until Okkotsu Yuuta and Rika Orimoto burst onto the scene. 

In an effort to establish some friendly relations between the Gojo clan and the Zen’in clan, it had been decided that Naoya would be the one attending meetings with Satoru. It was argued that because of their close age and ongoing acquaintance, they would understand each other better and it would help foster a good diplomatic relationship. 

Privately, Satoru thinks Naoya just really, really wanted to be besties with him and asked Daddy Naobito to arrange for playdates, which has essentially been their relationship for as long as Satoru can remember. Even when they were kids, it was the same thing - their clans tried to push them to be friendly with each other, but Satoru was just not fond of the other boy and found him extremely unpleasant. 

Naoya’s saving grace was that he was extremely easy to bully, so Satoru took advantage of that to keep himself entertained. 

“Satoru-kun - ” Naoya says when Satoru comes into the meeting room and sits on the armchair opposite from him, ten minutes late. He doesn’t stand up when he says hello, and that makes Satoru’s eyes twitch, “Glad to see you could finally make it. I take it you were extremely busy.” 

“No, not really. I just didn’t want to be here.” 

“Satoru-kun - you keep saying that whenever we have to meet. I’m beginning to think you don’t like me, even when I know that’s not true.” 

Naoya puts an elbow on the arms chair and leans against his palm, looking at Satoru with a knowing smirk on his face. If it were anyone else, he would probably think it’s cute - the shameless, obvious flirting and the bold lack of respect are things he’d find exciting on someone knew, but Naoya has been an annoying fixture in his life ever since he can remember, and they just never clicked. 

“I’ve been giving so many hints for so long - ” Satoru says, sighing, already bored, “- There’s nothing to talk about in these meetings, nothing ever changes.” 

He prefers meeting with the head of the Kamo clan - that’s because early into Satoru’s promotion as head of the clan, he and the Kamo head decided to turn all their meetings into emails and they haven’t seen each other since the last quarterly update with the higher-ups. Amazing. 

Him and Naobito had the same sort of arrangement, because Naobito was a huge fan of canceling all his meetings to drink and Satoru wasn’t a fan of the old fart, so might as well. 

Not Naoya. Naoya wanted to meet with him. Naoya liked him. 

“I agree. These meetings are so boring and pointless. However - ” Naoya leans in closer and puts his hand on Satoru’s knee, “ - we can always figure out something more fun to do.” 

This is Satoru’s fault, unfortunately. 

He’s always known that Naoya had a thing for him, what with how obviously he propositioned him sometimes. Usually he just brushed it off, but a while ago he was bored enough to take him up on it. 

It was literally just a one night stand more than a year ago, and Satoru never gave any indication he wanted a repeat of it, but Naoya clearly wants and he’s insistent about it. Satoru mostly pretends it never happened.

It’s courtesy to lower his infinity when he’s meeting with people, but there’s also some measure of satisfaction to pushing them away in the classic way. Satoru sits up and forces Naoya to take his hand off his knee, making the other man frown. Displeased .

He's about to open his mouth to say something when he feels him - Suguru’s cursed energy, so unique among sorcerers, entering the premises of the Gojo compound and looking for him. He feels Suguru getting closer and closer and Satoru walks ahead to greet him.

“Satoru-kun? Satoru, where are you going?” 

Naoya calls out after him, but Satoru doesn't care to answer him, he just opens the office door and steps into the hallway, walking ahead until he almost bumps into Suguru.

“I don't care if he's busy, I need to see him, it’s urgent - oh -”

Suguru's arguing with the Gojo family head butler on whether or not he's allowed to see Satoru, but then when they bump into each other in the hallways he freezes like a cute little goth deer in the headlights, eyes wide and blinking fast. 

“Satoru - “ he greets, relieved and almost shy. 

“Suguru.” 

They make eye contact and Satoru smiles at him, long time no see and Suguru looks just as pretty as ever, and Satoru stares at him even though there's people - servants and Naoya - looking at them. Suguru looks away first, turning his head to the side and clearing his throat..

“I'm sorry to barge in on you like this, I know you're busy -” 

“I'm not busy.”

“- but I need your help with something urgently.” 

Satoru has a vision of Suguru as Princess Leia begging Obi-Wan Kenobi. “ Help Me, Gojo-Wan Six-nobi, You’re my Only Hope ”

Satoru sighs and smirks at him. 

“Ah, how I can refuse a damsel in distress,” he says, and Suguru’s jaw goes slack at the comparison. Before he can protest, Satoru walks behind him and puts a hand on his back, pushes him gently into the direction of a private room where they can talk.

“Satoru-kun, our meeting isn't done,” Naoya whines. Satoru rolls his eyes as they walk away.

“I’m not a damsel in distress,” Suguru complains, elbowing Satoru in the ribs slightly. 

“What if I say I’m the damsel, and you’re just saving me from having to deal with that guy any longer.” 

Satoru takes Suguru to one of the office studies and closes the door behind him. This isn’t the one he normally uses, but it’ll do. He walks over to the desk and sits on it, kicking his feet and waiting for Suguru to sit down and start talking. 

“So Suguru - what can I do for you? You avoided me for months and now you're here begging for me help, it must be really important.” 

Suguru frowns a little, he looks like he wants to complain against Satoru’s comment of ignoring him, but he knows better than to open that can of worms. Instead, he focuses on raising the file he holds in his hand and offering it to Satoru.

“Satoru, meet Okkotsu Yuuta. He’s been cursed.” 

“Bummer,” Satoru says, opening the file to see a picture of a frazzled looking young man with absolutely horrific bags under his eyes, “Who cursed him?” 

“His childhood sweetheart.”

“Young love, you say. You know, I think Naoya was always disappointed that I didn’t want as my childhood sweetheart.” 

Suguru snorts a laugh. 

“Did you even have a childhood sweetheart?” 

“No, I didn’t really like people when I was a kid.” 

“And now you do?” 

Satoru clicks his tongue and smirks, does a finger-gun and points at Suguru. 

“I like you .” 

Suguru gets this little embarrassed glow on his face and his eyes crinkle in a smile. He shakes his head - like he’s both exasperated and fond. It’s such a familiar expression that it makes Satoru’s stomach flip. 

“Anyone else?” 

“Hmmm. Let me think - ” 

He kicks his legs and pretends that he’s thinking and counting, while Suguru taps his foot on the floor. 

“Satoru!” 

“I’m thinking! I can’t think of anyone else. Most people bore me.” 

It’s not a lie. It’s the exact truth, and Suguru knows it, and he looks at Satoru like he knows it's exactly true but he doesn't know how to react to it. Satoru reaches out a hand and pokes Suguru on his cheek, effectively bringing out his weird mood.

“So. Tell me about Okkotsu Yuuta and his childhood sweetheart.”

“Right. Okkotsu Yuuta and Orimoto Rika. She was killed by a drunk driver, run over by a car. She attached herself to him, becoming a Special Grade Curse that defends him - beats up bullies for him and shuns away other people.” 

“How very Yandere of her,” Satoru says, looking through the file, “Do you have any idea how this came to be? Anything worthwhile in either of their backgrounds?”

Suguru shakes his head.

“Nothing yet. Her background shows nothing of importance. Dead mother and absentee father. Sickly children, both of them. Still waiting for his family file to come up, but Ijichi hasn't tracked it down fully yet .”

“Hmm Hmm. This is all very cute and all, Suguru, but where do I come in all this?” 

Suguru looks uncomfortable, frown between his brows and upset written plainly on his face.

“They want to execute him. The higher-ups - they want to execute the kid. He's only 16 and instead trying to figure out where she came, why she exists, how she's manifesting - they want to kill a kid because it's inconvenient and they want me to swallow that thing and - “ 

He's pacing from side to side, obviously anxious and upset over the whole thing. No wonder. Suguru is the kindest, most empathic person Satoru’s ever met. Of course he’d take something like this hard.

“Suguru -” 

“They don't listen to me, Satoru. I try arguing and bargaining and protesting against their decisions and they never fucking take me seriously, nothing I say matters at all, and I -”

“The higher-ups?” 

“Yes!” Suguru yells, frustrated, and then stops dead in his tracks and makes a noise that Satoru’s never heard from him. Annoyed and disappointed and frustrated, something like a growl and a whine. It makes him jump off the desk and walk over to him. 

“Suguru.”

He says his name seriously and firmly, puts his hands on his shoulders and squeezes gently. Suguru looks at him dejectedly, and Satoru wonders how much he had to fight with his own pride until he came to Satoru to ask for help.

The higher-ups don't take him seriously because Suguru’s an outsider. No matter how strong he is, they don’t view him as an integral part of the system and he’s always going to be looked down upon. They also think he’s soft - he’s charming and pretty and he wins people over with diplomacy, but he’s too empathic and feels too much, and when push comes to shove, Suguru doesn’t have anything to hold against them and everything to lose. They know he's not going to quit or leave, not while the girls he saved are in the system, not when he loves his students more than anything and he's dedicated to protecting them. 

When they were teenagers, Suguru used to get overwhelmed easily, took on too much responsibility for himself and fretted over all of it. A perfectionist by nature, he always strived for goals and ideals, but when he misstepped and made a mistake, all if it came crumbling on top of him. Satoru remembers Suguru getting frantic like this in missions and looking at him just like he’s looking at him now  - like looking up from beneath his lashes but avoiding eye contact, downturned mouth and slightly jutting low lip. Not really pouting, but close. 

“Suguru, don't worry. I'll talk to them, okay? I'm not gonna let them execute the kid.” 

Suguru blinks and exhales.

“Satoru, I -...” 

He's upset and embarrassed that he has to ask for help at all. Satoru gets it, but he wishes Suguru were willing to rely on him more. 

“Don't worry, I'll take care of it.” 

Satoru hates dealing with politics, bureaucracy and old people, so meetings with the higher-ups are a fucking pain, but he definitely knows how to handle them better than Suguru. For starters, he’s the Six Eyes Limitless User and the Head of the Gojo Clan, so when he talks, they have to listen, or else…

But truth be told, it's very easy to bargain with them. All he has to do is promise his support in minor voting matters between clans, in exchange for guarantees that the Gojo clan will take responsibility for the child if anything gets out of hand. 

When he goes out to tell Suguru the good news and the other sighs, relieved. He hugs him in thanks and Satoru feels his heart swell a little too much at the action. Suguru smells nice, clean skin and soft hair and sweet perfume. Suguru smells so good that Satoru wants to eat him, in all ways, and he’s a little disappointed when the other pulls away.

“I owe you, Satoru. I really do.”

“Stop, don't be silly. You know you can always come to me for help, right?”

There's a pause, and Suguru just gets this sad-soft look on his face that makes Satoru instantly feel really bad. Like no, Suguru doesn't know that he can go to Satoru for whatever little bullshit. 

“Suguru?”

“I suppose. You say that, right, but…-”

“No buts! Have you ever asked anything of me and I didn't do it?”

“ Tsk , Satoru. It's not like that. I don't ask, it's not something I do, but it's not like you're really…”

“I'm not really what ?”

“Well. You're never here. You're always away. I can't really ask you for anything if you're not here, so I don't know when or if I can depend on you.”

That stings. Suguru is the only person he truly loves, and it hurts to know that Suguru thinks he's not reliable enough. He wants to be the person Suguru calls when he's upset, or angry or needs something. Good or bad. 

“Are you upset with me that I'm busy?”

It gets him angry too, and jealous, because he has to face the reality that if Suguru isn't calling him for these things, he's still calling someone . Some nameless faceless person that gets Suguru’s day to day struggles and aches and pains and the things Satoru has no idea about. 

“No. I'm just saying - our lives are different. Our priorities too.” 

“Suguru, our relationship has always been a priority for me” 

But even as he says it, he realizes that while in his heart, no one would ever compare to Suguru, he’s been much too busy and caught up in his own shit to properly prioritize their friendship, and Suguru knows it too. Satoru feels guilty for saying it as soon as it leaves his mouth. 

“Listen, Suguru…” he tries, but Suguru cuts him off.

“No, it's fine. Really, it is, I'm very grateful for your help, Satoru. And I'm not upset with you, I'm not.” 

Satoru’s upset, all of a sudden. Feels a deep ache in his belly that he can't explain. He sighs and kicks his leg against the grass. Scratches the back of his head.

“So now that this is out of the way - wanna go grab something to eat? Something to drink?” 

“I can't -  I have to go talk to Yuuta. Now that he'll be student here starting next week, I wanna help him settle in, and afterwards I need to meet with my second years, and -” 

Satoru’s getting rejected. 

“ Oh .”

He wants to whine about it. 

“You can come with me, you know,” Suguru suggests, taking pity on him, “You can meet my students. They're very nice, I'm sure you'll like them.” 

Satoru doesn’t care about kids much. He likes them well enough from a distance, but…

Oh hell. 

It's not like he has anything better to do. And Suguru’s looking so pretty today, with his hair pulled up into a messy bun and wearing a black turtleneck. The snakebite piercings are Satoru’s favorites, and also the way his cute little tongue ring shines in his mouth as he talks. 

 “Let’s meet the rugrats.” 

Suguru’s students are cute, and Satoru has more fun than he expected with them. 

Hakari Kinji and Kirara Hoshi are very much a couple and they're all over each other, to the point that Suguru has to scold them over the PDA. Satoru thinks it's kinda endearing actually. 

“It's not funny, Satoru. Ijichi told me they were making out in the backseat of the auxiliary vehicle while he was driving, and the poor man was mortified.”

“Oh, leave them be. Ijichi's a prude. He drives me around a lot and he has anxiety. Of course he’s too mortified to deal with teenagers making out.” 

“My student from the Inumaki clan pulls pranks on him all the time too. I feel so bad.” 

He looks at Suguru, and while he seems upset, Satoru can see a hint of a smile when he shakes his head. As a response, he pokes Suguru’s cheeks and makes him snort.

“Remember when you and Shoko snuck into Yaga’s office to steal his whiskey? And then proceeded to get ass wasted and puked on his cursed corpses?” 

“Satoru, don't say that! The kids might hear you!” 

Satoru’s grin stretches over his lips.

“Remember when Naoya said you were a peasant and you called a tentacle curse on his ass?” 

“Wait, Sensei did what ?” 

“I did no such thing!” Suguru tries to deny.

Satoru turns to Suguru’s students to tell them the story, now that they're finally looking at something other than each other.

“Nuh-uh, did too. And when old man Zen’in daddy came to ask him for an official apology, Suguru told him he'd do it again in a heartbeat. Caused a huuuuge scandal.” 

“Naoya deserved it, though.”

“Definitely did.” 

It's fun to banter back and forth with Suguru, they just fall back into this easy camaraderie whenever they're together. Satoru thinks Suguru is the best thing that ever happened to him because he’s never known this kind of peace and comfort with someone else, how Suguru’s presence just changes something inside him. Makes him calmer, and softer.

Always been like this, but….

Suguru keeps his hair up in a bun, kept in place with hair pins, and there’s two long strands of hair framing his elegant throat. As Suguru walks slightly in front of him, Satoru reaches out and pulls the pins from his hair, both at the same time.

“ Satoru !”

Suguru’s long, luscious hair tumbles over his shoulders and down the middle of his back. His hair smells nice too, and Satoru wants to grab it and pull it. Always has. 

“Why did you have to do that, ugh , give those back. I wanna put my hair back up.” 

“Don’t. You look beautiful like this.” 

Satoru compliments him earnestly, and Suguru blinks at him without saying anything at first. Satoru walks closer to him and pushes his hair behind his ear, and twirls his hair around his finger just to touch it. 

“Have dinner with me, Suguru,” he says, before he can stop himself, “If not tonight, then tomorrow.” 

Suguru looks torn between being annoyed and overwhelmed.

“Satoru, I'm seeing someone.” 

He uses that as an excuse, and Satoru rolls his eyes, annoyed. 

“You're always seeing someone. Cancel it. Have dinner with me. Go on a date with me.”

“I can't just do that, Satoru.” 

“Why not?”

As far as Satoru’s concerned, it's a valid question. Why not? No one Suguru can date can possibly be better than him - objectively, he’s handsome, tall and rich, and he and Suguru know and care about each other. Isn't it ideal?

Meanwhile, Suguru’s face goes through a whole array of emotions, none of them good, and then they finally settle on outrage.

“Believe it or not, I don't wanna cancel a date I already have arranged because you're suddenly around and wanna woo me now. Believe it or not, not everything in the world revolves around you!” 

With that, Suguru turns around and storms away. 

Suguru goes on a date with some boring, irrelevant guy from the Kyoto department and Satoru is very fucking tempted to crash his date just to prove a point. 

He doesn’t. Instead, he stays at home, does his goddamn paperwork and bites his nails. He knows Suguru gets around a lot - and he does too! It’s not like either of them are bound to some vow of chastity. And no, he doesn’t think Suguru’s random ass date is in any way, shape or form better than him or a threat! 

It’s just that - well. It kinda stings, and he feels like he’s missing out on something he should have always had open access too. 

Maybe him and Suguru truly missed their shot at being together, and now it’s too late to go back on it. 

Satoru sleeps sporadically, so it’s not really strange for him to be awake at three a.m. 

It’s strange for him to get a phone call at that time, even stranger to see it’s from Suguru. 

He answers quickly, and worries that something might be wrong, but on the other end of the call, Suguru sounds drunk. 

“God, I hate you sometimes, Satoru, you ruined my fucking date.” 

Satoru blinks fast, trying to make sense of whatever the hell is happening. He doesn’t remember ever getting this sort of call from Suguru in the past, not ever. Suguru usually likes to keep the illusion of having his shit together. 

“What did I do? I wasn’t even there.” 

“Not physically, but you were - ugh - ” he can imagine Suguru being frustrated, pacing around his living room with his hand in his hair and groaning, “ - you were in my head, asshole. You keep ruining my plans. ”

Satoru grins at himself. 

“So you can’t get laid because you keep thinking about me?” 

Suguru’s laughter sounds breathy. 

“I went out on a date and ended the night early. Couldn’t get into it at all - but then, I called someone else and asked them if I could go there…”

Satoru frowns at his phone. 

“What do you mean you called someone else? Who did you call?” 

“Jealous?” Suguru teases, and Satoru knows that there’s always been a flirty fox inside of Suguru, but he’s never actually been on the receiving end of it, until recently. The type of person that would suck him off in an alley and then fuck off for an indefinite period of time. 

“Yes, I’m jealous.” 

“ Tsk. Poor Satoru. It doesn't matter, you know, you don't need to know, it's just…”

“ Just ?”

“ Someone I sleep with whenever I think about you too much. ” 

There’s a pause. 

Neither of them react to it. Satoru needs a second to process this.

“Your dick is bigger than his,” Suguru says, longingly, “I hate that I know that now.”

“Were you thinking about my dick while some other guy was fucking you, Suguru?”

Satoru’s both turned on and angry at the same time. His voice goes low and scratchy, and he hears Suguru breath catch. 

“Yes. All I could think about. How your dick is bigger.” 

Fuck, fuck, fuck . His dick throbs when he hears that, vibrating at the idea of being inside Suguru.

“He wasn’t fucking you right if you have to call me afterwards - ” 

“That’s so fucking arrogant of you, Satoru, do you think you can fuck me better?” 

“ I know I can fuck you better, ” Satoru says, and grabs his cock through his sweatpants, squeezing it. 

On the other end of the phone call, Suguru sounds amused. He purrs into the phone and hums, and Satoru tries to imagine how he looks like - pretty boy with long hair and wearing messy eyeliner, after some guy fucked him poorly .   Does he have marks on his throat or his ass or his thighs? The thought of it makes him angry enough to growl into the phone, but then again, Suguru was thinking of him. 

“How do you like to get fucked, Suguru?” 

“ From behind. I like it deep and I like getting my hair pulled, ”  

“Fuck,” Satoru kneads his dick and exhales sharply, “Suguru likes it a little rough, hmm?” 

“I do,” then Suguru giggles into the phone, like he can't believe he said that.

“God, Suguru -  I know exactly what you need - “ 

“ Tell me what I need, Satoru -”  

“You need me to take care of you.” 

Suguru sounds breathless. There's shuffling on the other end and Satoru wonders if he’s also touching himself. Fingering himself, maybe, dissatisfied that his lover's dick isn't big enough and he wants Satoru to fuck him open. 

“You know, Satoru - do you remember the second year of highschool, the Goodwill Exchange Event we had with the Kyoto School? You disappeared in the middle of the afterparty and I went looking for you…” 

Satoru has no fucking idea why the fuck they’re reminiscing about school days while he thought he was gonna have sexy flirty phone sex with Suguru. 

“...when I found you, you were fucking one of the auxiliary managers that drove them over, some girl with long hair that was at least five years older...”

Satoru cringes when he hears it. He sorta remembers the event and the girl - vaguely. During that time, he had a thing for older girls because he wanted to prove to himself that he could get them, just for the challenge of it. He grew out of it after a while, but… 

“Suguru - ” 

“Listen - I remember. You had her bent over one of the classroom tables and she was moaning ‘Satoru, Satoru~’ I knew you were fucking around with people around that time, and I didn’t really mind it, but I also liked you, you know? I thought you liked me too. And I remember just sitting there and I couldn’t stop watching you, you had sweat running down your back and I wanted to lick it off. You made this really hot noise when you came, and I just had to turn away and leave and lock myself in my room.” 

“Were you jealous?” 

“Yes. Of course I was. I was so turned on too, I didn’t know if I was supposed to cry or jerk off.” 

Satoru thinks about Suguru as a teenager and tries to imagine how that happened, and wants to smack his teenage self over the head for not sensing him there. Suguru sneaking on him and watching him fuck someone. 

“ So what did you do? ” 

“Both, I think. Not at the same time, but it was definitely both - I was desperately jealous of that girl, God, I don’t even know what her name was…”

“ Did you want to be in her place?” 

“ Yes. I started fingering myself just to see how it would feel like, you know, because I never tried that before, but I thought about you fucking me while I was doing it. ” 

Logically, he knew Suguru liked him back then. He knew it. Hearing about it so plainly though, and hearing about Suguru’s jealousy, it just makes something in him twist hotly.

“Why didn't you confess to me, then?” 

“ Why would I? Would you have taken it seriously? You never took anything seriously back then!” 

“I would have! It was you! You weren't like everyone else!” 

“I don't believe you, ” Suguru says plainly, and that hurts, “I still don’t believe you. I think you like the idea of being with me, but that’s it. And you know what, Satoru? It’s fine. Some people just aren’t meant to be together.”

Suguru’s is pessimistic by nature, and Satoru privately knows that he was entertaining similar thoughts recently, what with him and Suguru being perfect for each other but never being quite there for each other in the right moments. 

“Suguru, where are you? I wanna come see you.” 

“Bad idea, Satoru.” 

Satoru teleports to Suguru’s location before the words even Suguru’s mouth. 

He finds Suguru in his small studio off campus - it’s tiny and cramped and dark, with only a light on the nightstand being on at this time. 

“Satoru, what are you doing here?” Suguru says, phone still pressed against his ear as Satoru teleported on his apartment’s balcony. 

Suguru looks exhausted - smudged liner, messy hair, red eyes. Satoru doesn’t answer, he just takes two steps forwards and cups his cheeks in his hands, bends down and kisses him. 

Suguru’s mouth tastes like smoke, but his kisses are passionate and hungry. He grabs the edge of Satoru’s shirt and pulls it up, and as he undresses him he says, ‘fuck, this is terrible idea, ’ as he runs his painted nails over Satoru’s chest. Satoru doesn’t contradict him because he thinks he might be right, but - 

He puts both hands on Suguru’s ass and squeezes him through his pants, then hoists Suguru up against his body by the thighs, forces him to hang onto him and cross his legs around Satoru’s middle. He carries to the bed like than and throws him onto the messy sheets. Suguru looks up at him with his eyes half-lidded and his jaw slack, lips wet and kiss bruises. He’s wearing a loose shirt that falls off his shoulder. There’s no marks on his neck, but Satoru wonders if he’s gonna see the evidence of another man when he undresses him. 

“Satoru - ” 

“Stop talking,” he says, and pushes two fingers between Suguru’s lips, rubs them against his tongue. Suguru licks the length of his fingers and swirls his tongue around them, starts sucking onto them as he looks Satoru in the eyes.

When he pulls out his fingers from Suguru’s mouth, he wipes them against his cheek and then combs gently through his hair. Satoru’s standing by the edge of the bed while Suguru leaning back against his hands, palms against the sheets and fingers nervously gripping and releasing. Suguru closes his eyes and tries to nuzzle against his touch as Satoru pets him. 

Needy kitty. 

Satoru wants to test something, so he fists his hand on Suguru’s hair and pulls his head to the side. He moans, mouth open, eyelashes fluttering. 

“Look at me,” he orders, and Suguru turns his shiny eyes at him, gets him weak in the knees, “I wanna fuck you. Can I? Say yes.” 

Suguru nods. 

“You have to say it, baby.” 

“Yes. Yes. You can fuck me.”

“Okay, let's turn you around, come on - ” 

He pushes Suguru on the bed and turns him on his belly, pulls down his loose pajama pants and runs his hand from his waist to his hip, grabs a handful of his ass and squeezes. His ass jiggles, and Satoru slaps it over and over, until it gets a lovely bright red color. Satoru spreads his cheeks to spit on his hole, pushes it inside with his thumb. 

“Did you let him cum inside you?” 

“No,” Suguru shakes his head, “I never let men do that.”

Well, at least there’s that. Satoru takes out his cock and jerks it off, presses it between Suguru’s cheeks and rubs the head of it against his hole. 

“I’m gonna cum inside you,” Satoru announces, and before Suguru can protest, he pulls his head back by the hair and kisses his cheek, “Listen - I’m going to fuck you till you can’t think anymore, and I’m gonna fill your ass up and you’re gonna say ‘ thank you ’ afterwards.”  

Suguru doesn’t reply, but he makes this high pitched keening noise, so hot , and he arches his back and grinds his ass against Satoru’s dick, begging for it. Satoru pushes inside him in one go, bottoms out inside him smoothly and gives him no time to get used to it. Suguru’s walls flutter around his cock, gripping him and sucking him, hungry for more.

He never imagined that his and Suguru’s first time would be like this, but then again, but then again, long overdue things have the habit of exploding impulsively in random moments, too much tension and pressure between them. Satoru fucks him him hard and fast, feels like a rutting dog that needs to stake a claim on Suguru’s ass. 

Fuck anyone else, he’s needs to drive them out of Suguru with the force of his cock, he needs Suguru’s insides to get molded around him. Suguru said his dick was bigger, so he just needs to bully his way inside Suguru’s guts and rearrange them to fit his length and girth. 

“ Satoru, Satoru, Satoru - ”

Suguru moans his name like he’s praying to him. 

He’s oversensitized and probably a little sore already, and Satoru just pounds into him until he forces him to cum untouched.

Satoru thinks he’s never been so forceful with anyone before, but he’s never felt like he’s had to crave himself into someone’s body like he does with Suguru. 

Suguru melts into the mattress, cheek against the white sheet and overwhelmed tears running down his face. He mewls with each of Satoru’s thrust and when he empties his load inside him, Suguru sighs. He pulls out and slowly and keeps Suguru’s asscheeks spread, look at the pink, twitching walls of his insides, Satoru’s cum painting them milky white. 

“Say ‘thank you, Satoru’ ” 

“ Thank you, Satoru.”  

Suguru’s voice is a soft whisper, sleepy, eyes closed. Satoru touches his hair, wipes the sweat off his forehead.

“Good boy. You wanna go to sleep now?”

Suguru just nods with his eyes closed, and his breath evens out almost instantly. 

Satoru exhales deeply. He goes to the bathroom and gets a washcloth to help wipe Suguru clean while he’s sleeping. Now that the horniness, the anger and the jealously left his system, he finds himself feeling….not good.

He always expected that he'd feel euphoric after finally fucking Suguru, but he doesn’t know what he's supposed to feel. 

There's something twisting in his chest over it.

He wants to lay down next to Suguru, but he doesn’t know if he should. If he has permission for it.

Instead, he takes a long time taking in Suguru’s beautiful body. The curves and valleys, the smooth skin. Suguru has tattoos and piercings and Satoru wants to take his time licking them and touching them, next time, if Suguru allows it.

But he’s not sure if he’s welcomed in Suguru’s bed.

He doesn't want to leave, though.

Instead, he tucks Suguru in and then curls up on Suguru’s tiny couch. He closes his eyes and allows himself to doze off there.

Chapter Text

Suguru’s always known he’s attractive. 

He found out at an early age that both girls and boys were attracted to him. Girls liked him because they thought he was sweet, kind and polite, a pretty boy who liked helping people. Boys liked him for much the same reasons - he laughed at their jokes and encouraged them to do their best, they said he was pretty like a girl, and they liked it when he smiled at them. 

Girls and boys confessed in different ways. Middle school girls with pigtails and headbands wrote confessions and slipped them in his backpack. The bold ones offered little handwritten notes directly, bowing their heads as they handed it to him in the hallways. Boys tried to treat him like a girl, they showed off and tried to make him laugh, offered to buy him snacks, which he sometimes accepted.

Suguru himself didn't have much inclination towards either gender - he liked girls well enough, but boys let him get away with more and it was more fun to be mean with them sometimes. None of them really got his humor or knew how to deal with his mercurial nature, and Suguru struggled when it came to taking them seriously and respecting them. 

Suguru was the best student in his grade, he worked hard, he beat all the older boys in his Kendo and Aikido clubs.

His dad used to say he was a lot like his mom. 

It was not a compliment. 

Suguru knew this wasn’t exactly true, because he knew he saw things that no one else did - not mom, or dad, or any of the kids at school. Monsters lurking in shadows, clinging to people and skulking around at school. No one else saw them but him, and that gave him a sense of being special. Like he was older and wiser than everyone else, because he saw something secret that others didn’t know about. 

All it did was cement the things that he already knew about himself - other kids were silly and childish, and he knew better, he saw things differently. 

His first crush was on a boy much older than him, the brother of one of his classmates. Suguru doesn’t remember his name anymore, he’s just Aiko’s brother in his memories. 

He remembers crushing on him because he was so much older - he seemed cooler, more handsome, smarter than the regular kids he knew at school. Looking back, it’s embarrassing, because he remembers how he used to childishly flirt with him. Batting his eyelashes and giggling, letting his hair lose and pushing it behind his ear. Stuff that he read about in magazines. Sometimes he thought Aiko’s brother flirted back. 

Then one day, he visited again and saw that Aiko’s brother changed. There was a parasite clinging to him, in his shadow. One of the curses that no one else saw.

He’d been so disappointed. 

Suddenly all the appeal was lost, the allure was gone - Aiko’s brother was just another ordinary boy that had no idea about anything, just as ignorant and stupid as the rest of them, and the thing clinging to him was proof. 

The same day, Aiko’s brother cornered him in the kitchen and pushed him against the cabinets to kiss him. Suguru remembers being distracted by the curse that was clinging to him, disgusted to see it. He used to think Aiko’s brother was handsome before, but now all he could see was that thing.  

He kept his eyes open so he could stare at the parasite looming behind the young man’s frame, and when he got close enough to kiss him, Suguru’s cursed technique kicked in automatically and he absorbed the curse. It felt like tar sliding down his throat, and it was all Suguru could focus on even when the older boy’s face got closer to his, even when he pushed his tongue in his mouth to kiss him. He couldn’t respond, he was too shocked about what had happened to really focus .

“What’s with you, eh?” Aiko’s brother complained, raising his eyebrows. “You bat your lashes at me every time you come here and freeze when I kiss you? I hate it when sluts play games with me.” 

Suguru stormed out of the house with his face burning and tears in his eyes, feeling humiliated and disappointed. 

He never saw Aiko’s brother again, and he told himself that he’d never allow himself to be charmed like that again for stupid, superficial reasons. 

One day, Yaga-Sensei came knocking on his front door to ask about him. At first, his parents thought there had been a mistake - Suguru was a good boy who never caused any sort of trouble, no one ever came looking for him at home like that. 

“Is Suguru in trouble?” 

“No, nothing like that. Your son is extremely talented and has a lot of potential - we’re here to offer an opportunity for him to study in Tokyo.”

“ Tokyo ?” His mom gasped. “We can’t afford that!” 

“Our offer comes with a fully paid scholarship. No need to pay for anything.” 

The promise of a fancy boarding school with a paid scholarship won his parents over easily, and Suguru himself was eager to leave when he heard that there would be people like him there.  He was ready to leave this place behind him, and the whole time he was traveling from Kitakami to Tokyo, he felt a pleasant sort of nervousness in his stomach. 

Then, when he first stepped down on the platform in Tokyo, he looked around for the people who were supposed to wait for him - dark suits, the same uniform jackets that came to recruit him, Yaga’s tall-and-broad frame. He smiled and walked over to them and - 

“So you’re the new guy, huh? You look like you cut your own hair.” 

It was the first thing Satoru ever said to him. 

That asshole. 

 “So I heard that your parents are normies.” 

“Yes, I suppose that’s one way of putting it. They can't see curses.” 

“And Yaga recruited you.”

“Hmmhmm.” 

Suguru hummed absentmindedly, put his hands in his pockets, back slouched. He kicked a little pebble in front of him and it rolled until it hit Satoru’s shoe. 

“I heard you exorcized a special grade curse before you even got here. How'd you manage that without even knowing anything about Jujutsu?” 

“I suppose it’s just something that comes naturally with my technique. The curses turn into orbs, and it feels like they call out to me to put them in my mouth, and then they just stick to my tongue. It’s instinct.”

Satoru got really curious about him, trying to unravel Suguru in a way no one else had before. He asked questions and pestered him, he got all up in Suguru’s space and crowded up on him. The way Satoru stared sent electricity down Suguru’s spine. 

Otherworldly. 

“That’s not what I asked. I asked how you managed to overpower her. The Kuchisake-onna has been one of those special grade curses that’s been wreaking havoc for a long time, but no one’s been able to exorcize her. How did a nobody like you do it?”

Suguru smirked at him - Satoru was so rude and spoiled and entitled, but there was something about the snottiness and cocksure attitude that attracted Suguru more than anything else. 

Satoru was, in many ways, like all the other boys he’d ever met - he liked Suguru so he was curious about him, he showed off whenever he got the chance to do it, he needled him and pulled at his hair and teased him. 

“Maybe she likes me. That's why she let me tame her,” Satoru replied smoothly. “You know, the Kuchisake-onna used to eat nasty bratty teenage boys like you.” 

Satoru cackled, laughing at him. 

“Who cares? Sucks for them, but they weren't like me. There’s no one like me.” 

Indeed there wasn’t. 

Satoru seemed to enjoy it when Suguru got mean and mouthy with him, while boys back home just didn’t know how to respond when normally sweet-and-polite-Geto-Suguru got a little nasty with them. They just froze. 

Suguru though Satoru was charming - boyishly handsome and a little cruel, there was something about the bluntness and the way it mixed with his elegant features - the way Satoru’s smirk was sharp and toothy and it made his whole face change - and - 

Suguru liked him. 

Then, Suguru spent an awfully long amount of time trying to find reasons not to like Satoru. 

When they were kids, Satoru tried to pick him apart to see what made Suguru tick. He asked questions, he teased, he pulled on his hair, he tried to get him angry so that Suguru would lash out at him impulsively. 

It worked more often than not, and Suguru was embarrassed with himself, with the sort of reactions this spoiled asshole managed to pull out of him. He spent so much time learning how to keep his reactions in check and carefully cultivate his own presence and allure - cool and collected and reliable and polite, that’s what everyone thought about him back home! 

And then came Gojo Satoru, someone who knew exactly what to do and say to make him lose it. 

And Satoru was good at everything he did - better at controlling his cursed energy, better at Jujutsu, better at combat, effortlessly brilliant. He beat Suguru at everything without even trying and Suguru was constantly feeling like he was lagging behind, always having to work harder to keep up with him. It was so frustrating, but at the same time, it was exhilarating and it forced him to get better too just so he wouldn’t allow Satoru the upper hand and the ability to lord it over him. 

For the first time, he’d found a boy he actually liked. And unfortunately, no matter how much he tried to find something unappealing about Satoru, something to give him the ick and make his crush go away, the more he spent time with Satoru, the more charming he found him. 

Suguru wakes up in the morning with a headache and various aches and bruises on his body. He opens his eyes, blinking slowly, looks at the clock. It’s 6:45 am and he feels like he got isekai’d from one dimension to another. 

God, yesterday was a fucking mess.

First mistake - letting Satoru get under his skin enough to upset him again, and consequently ruining his date. Then, he went out angry, and while he had hoped his date would be interesting enough to keep his mind off Satoru and distract him, he should have known that was a lost fucking cause. Once Satoru and Satoru-related feelings worm their way into his heart, there’s nothing short of going no-contact that will help soothe them. 

Second mistake - he cut his date short and called Nanami to see if he was available. 

Suguru and Nanami have been sleeping together on and off for years. It’s always been a convenient arrangement - they like each other well enough, but they don’t really like -like each other. Kento’s nice enough to hang out with and he’s competent in bed, and they’re sufficiently attracted to each other for sex, but neither of them is interested in dating romantically. Kento’s never been able to get over Haibara’s death, while Suguru knows the only person he’s ever fallen in love with has been Satoru, and it doesn’t seem fair to start a relationship with someone he knows and respects like that. 

Last night, when he knocked on the door of Kento’s apartment, he was greeted with a deep sigh and a certain air of disapproval, as if he knew the real reason he was there - Satoru on his mind, wanting someone to fuck him well enough to stop thinking about him. 

Kento didn’t call him out on it, since that simply wasn’t part of their arrangement, but he did offer Suguru a drink and made sure to keep it topped up while they were together, a little extra effort to keep his mind off things, and even then, it didn’t really work. Ever since he sucked Satoru’s dick in that alley, whenever he was in bed with anyone else, the only thing he could think about was that Satoru had the biggest fucking dick he’d ever seen, and not even Kento could fuck it out of his head. 

It did nothing to ease his mind, just made everything so much worse. He kept thinking about Satoru while another guy was balls deep inside him, thinking of how Satoru’s extra inches would fill him up so much more. Instead of relaxing and enjoying it, he lost interest quickly and left early, feeling embarrassing teenage angst crawling under his skin and so much frustration. 

Fuck Satoru. Fuck Satoru and the supernatural hold he has on Suguru’s heart and soul, sometimes he thinks someone should exorcise Satoru from his soul and then he’d be able to move on with his life. 

Third mistake - he called Satoru. 

And that’s where last night’s memories come to a screeching halt, because he knows he let Satoru have his way with him and it was amazing, and he doesn’t want to process it at all. 

If possible, he wants to pretend it never happened at all, at least for a while. He’s got too much work to do to deal with this. 

He pulls himself upright in bed and sees Satoru sleeping on the little sofa pushed against the opposite side of the room. He’s much too big for it so he's contorted into a weird position to fit. His legs are bent oddly and his feet are on the floor.

Suguru looks at him and feels a pang in his chest. He wonders if Satoru’s infinity stays up in his sleep or not.

He gets out of bed and heads to the shower, looking to scrub himself clean of last night and make himself somewhat presentable. He needs to get to school by 8:30am when classes start, but he has a few errands to run until then, even though all he wants to do is sleep for ten solid hours.

Suguru gets in the shower and scrubs himself clean. He brushes his teeth and towel dries his hair, lets it loose while he gets dressed and makes his way around his small flat quietly.

Mimiko and Nanako used to live with him when they were young, but since they grew up and started school, they started living on campus along with the other students. He misses them a lot sometimes and he's been thinking of moving back to the Jujutsu dorms just to be there. He doesn’t do well alone.

Satoru snores softly.

Suguru wonders if he sleeps a lot at home, if he sleeps late, if he has trouble with it.

When they were teens, Satoru really struggled with falling asleep. Hadn't quite figured out how to tune out the world, got overstimulated and agitated. 

And his main solution to the problem was just to jerk off. A lot .

Even when they were supposed to sleep in the same room, Satoru just waited until he thought Suguru was asleep, and Suguru had to sit there and pretend he wasn't turned on by it or try really, really hard not to turn around and ask if he needed a hand, or a mouth, or….

The fact that they never slept together until so late into their acquaintance despite being obviously attracted to each other since they met is really just down to the fact that they were playing an elaborate game of chicken with each other’s desires and neither wanted to be the first one to cave.

Suguru crouches in front of Satoru’s sleeping face, reaches a hand out and pushes his fringe out of his face. Suguru runs gentle fingers over his brows to smooth them out until Satoru wakes up, blinking big blue eyes at him.

Did he lose the game or did Satoru? 

“Good morning,” Suguru says with a pleasant smile, his eyes crinkling even as Satoru looks confused. “Sorry I have to wake you, I'm getting ready to leave for work.”

“What time is it?”

“A little after seven.” 

Suguru turns around just as Satoru sits up from where he slept. In the mirror of his dresser, Suguru can see him stretching. Arms over his head, twisting side to side. His rumpled t-shirt rises as he does so, and his drawstring pants hang precariously low on his hips so Suguru can see the V of his abdomen and the start of his cute little happy trail, and Suguru's mouth waters looking at him.

Satoru's so big and wide, he looks like he just doesn't have enough space to fit inside Suguru’s tiny apartment.

“So I need to leave in like 10 minutes, I have some errands to run and then I need to get to school before classes start, and…”

Satoru gets all up in his space without letting him finish what he wanted to say. It's not like he purposely corners him, but he does crowd Suguru against the wall and puts a hand next to his head, effectively bracketing him there. He's trapped. 

“Are we just going to pretend last night never happened?” 

Suguru wants to roll his eyes. 

Stubborn, one track minded asshole. One thing about Satoru, he is relentless in pursuing things he wants and refuses to give in. His fighting tactic is to overwhelm others by force and he’s no different in romance.

And he smells like sex - Suguru very carefully scrubbed himself clean without thinking of it, but with Satoru’s body so close, the sleepy warmth of him and the shameless smell of sex mixed with faint whiffs of cologne…

Satoru smells like a whore. Suguru, despite his better judgment, thinks it's hot.

“No. Not forever. Just… I don’t want to talk about it now, Satoru.” 

“Why not?” 

Pushy bastard. Satoru just cannot stand being denied or postponing something even when Suguru asks him.

“I told you. I need to get to work, Satoru, I have things to do, I'm busy…” 

Satoru rolls his eyes, like he can't take his reasons seriously.

“Just call in sick. I'm sure Yaga or Ijichi can handle your brats.” 

“I don't want Yaga or Ijichi to handle them! They're my students, I want to be there for them! They need supervision and they need someone to guide them and…” 

“Bullshit, they can handle themselves. We never had anyone mothering us and we turned out fucking fine.” 

And just like that, instead of getting annoyed, Satoru’s words suck the thunder out of him completely. He could complain about the entitlement and the brattiness of Satoru demanding he ditch his students just to chat with him about their ill-timed one night stand, but really Satoru is never gonna understand Suguru’s dedication to making sure his students feel loved and cared for. 

Satoru’s always been fiercely independent and self-sufficient, he’s never liked being told what to do, he’s always defied authority. Satoru looks back at their youth and the struggles they faced with an air of victory and accomplishment. 

Toji Fushiguro was an obstacle he overcame, and he came out of that struggle better .

Suguru looks back at his youth and remembers that at some point, he was left alone , with the tacit understanding that he was supposed to handle himself correctly and keep himself afloat by his own devices, and he remembers feeling awfully ill equipped for it and wishing for anyone to ease the burden he was feeling.

He sighs.

“I like mothering them. They're good kids, and we both know the life expectancy of Jujutsu sorcerers isn't that great, Satoru.” 

“It’s not fair, you know. You're always making me chase after you and wait for you. I've known you the longest, why does everyone else get to have you first?”

Satoru’s not angry, he’s hurt, and some part of Suguru wants to rub it in his face because hasn't Satoru made him wait around too? Made him pine after him hopelessly and break his heart? Day after day of loneliness and waiting for Satoru to come back and spend time with him while they were off on mission after mission? 

Then, Suguru sighs.

Loser , he chastises himself, you were both kids. You were both trash at playing with each other’s feelings.

Wordlessly, Suguru opens his dresser and pulls out a sweater and a pair of black sweat pants that he throws at Satoru.

“Go take a shower and change your clothes,” he tells Satoru firmly, before he gets the chance to protest, “then, you're coming with me.” 

Satoru raises an eyebrow. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Takeshita Street. There’s a new crepe shop there. We are going to buy treats for my students before going to the school. Then, you can help me with my classes.” 

Satoru cocks his head to the side and looks at him like he’s one of those big dogs that are always confused about things. 

“What if I have better things to do?” Satoru challenges, and Suguru almost sticks his tongue out at him. Satoru doesn’t have anything to do - he barely gives a shit about politics, meetings with the higher-ups bore him, and he goes on missions to exorcize curses just for funsies.

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want,” Suguru says, crossing his arms over his chest, “but I thought, since you wanted to spend time together…” 

It's probably not what Satoru had in mind when it came to spending time with him, but…

“You're buying me crepes too.” Satoru grumbles as he goes into the bathroom to shower, and Suguru smiles to himself.

They take the Manta Ray curse till they get to Takeshita Street, and luckily there's not much of a line. There’s enough time to figure out what to buy for everyone and what they wanna get too.

“Do you always buy your students treats?” Satoru asks, casually putting his chin on Suguru’s head while waiting in line for crepes.

“Every week. They take turns choosing what they like, everyone gets to pick a restaurant. This week it was Nanako's turn to choose, next week it's Megumi.” 

“Man, Yaga was always too goddamn busy chasing promotions or getting divorced to do nice stuff like this for us.” 

Suguru laughs.

“Yaga did his best, didn't he? He’s just not really the type to do these things.” 

“True. Suguru’s always been the thoughtful one. I suppose that’s why you’re so popular with everyone, isn't it?”

He turns to give Satoru a look and the asshole just chuckles.

“Hey, relax, don't look at me like that. I just never expected Suguru to end up being slutty when we grew up, that's all.”

He wants to protest Satoru’s callous word choice, but then it’s their turn to give their order. 

Satoru pays for all the students’ crepes, but he insists that Suguru should pay for Satoru’s own crepes and hot chocolate. Suguru thinks he’s childish and petty but he pays for Satoru’s extra large crepe with nutella, bananas and marshmallows and his hot chocolate. 

When they walk out of the crepe shop, Suguru summons his Inventory Curse and shoves the ‘crepes to go’ inside its mouth. He starts walking away from Satoru without saying anything, and as expected, Satoru rushes after him.

“ Suguruuu , wait up. Are you upset with me, now?” 

Suguru bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from reacting. From the corner of his eye, he sees Satoru pouting, and it’s actually amazing how it's been so long and Satoru still has the same facial expressions. Hasn't changed at all.

“I'm sorry, okay?” He sounds a little desperate actually, like he’s genuinely panicking over Suguru ignoring him. “I'm sorry I called you slutty, though technically… ”

“Please. Satoru .” He turns to him and gives him a look - the same look he gives his students when they do or say something stupid, this mix of disappointed and annoyed he's perfected by now. “I will take your apology into consideration if you shut up and don't say anything else.” 

And Satoru just nods and takes a huge bite out of his crepe. 

It's so full of nutella that it drips down, but it slides off Satoru’s infinity without getting his fingers dirty. 

There's a metaphor there, but Suguru’s too tired and wired to look for it.

“You know, I am sorry I made it sound bad. It's just hard to wrap my head around it, you know. Suguru dating people, Suguru sleeping around - in my head you were like The Virgin Mother” - a pause - “still are to some degree, actually?”

Suguru huffs in disbelief and takes a sip out of his coffee.

“You still think so? Even after…”

Satoru doesn’t answer immediately, he just shrugs and stuffs the rest of his crepe in his mouth, and washes it down with hot chocolate. Suguru’s teeth hurt looking at him. 

“You used to read shojo. Snuck in Fruits Basket and Hana Yori Dango.”

“What does my guilty pleasure for romance have to do with my sex life?”

“Nothing, I guess. I just always imagined you as the romantic type. Believing in true love and shit like that. Hard to reconcile that with everything else that's happened.” 

“Satoru…”

“No, listen . There’s been this idea in my head for the longest time that no one’s supposed to touch you, you know. Like Suguru’s too good and precious for that, anyone getting their hands on you would just…” 

He doesn't say the last word, but Suguru can guess. 

“Do you think I'm dirty for letting other men touch me, Sa-to-ru?”

He drags out the syllables of his name and bats his lashes at him, flirty and alluring. Satoru looks visibly uncomfortable, and his jaw sets tightly, pulsing, and Suguru knows he’s hit the nail on the head so he smirks. 

“Do you count as one of them or not?”

“ Stop . I didn't mean it like that. It’s just…”

“ Just ?” 

Suguru smirks as he eggs him on. Whatever Satoru says can and will be used against him, but Suguru is not upset. Years ago, he'd have been devastated.

“You're careless with your body. Always have been.” 

Satoru says it as if Suguru ever had any choice in being kind to his own body, while swallowing curses that tasted like vomit and clung to his insides like old gum on the sole of his shoe 

“You don’t get it.” Suguru shakes his head and smiles at him. “It’s fine, but you don’t get it, and you never will.”

There’s one thing that Suguru envies about Satoru, and it’s his insane physicality and the way he just embodies confidence. Satoru feels like he belongs in his body - with the heavy strides, the way he takes up space, his casual dominant aura. 

Meanwhile, Suguru feels like he is, at best, the landlord of a property with thousands of inhabitants. He’s better at it now , but Satoru will never understand the struggle for ownership of his body, and how sometimes sex was the easiest way to feel like himself.  

Satoru, in turn, grabs him by the wrists and stops him in his tracks. He forces Suguru to turn around and look at him. 

“You’re right. I don’t - but you never tried to explain either.” 

There’s a part of Suguru that wants to frown at him and just refuse - he’s comfortable by himself and with the sort of routine he has. He’s built up all sorts of defense mechanisms to stop himself from bleeding his feelings all over the place, and Satoru was shit at reading him even when Suguru was young and wordlessly begging him to notice his heart. 

Whether Satoru saw it and chose to ignore it, or if he was just a teenage boy blind to the things in front of him - well. Who knows. Either/or. Doesn’t matter. 

Suguru’s comfortable. He’s not keen on cracking himself open and exposing his vulnerabilities to someone who rejected them in the past. 

But…

In the middle of a crowded street in Harajuku, with people walking around from all sides and Satoru’s tall, bulky frame looming over everything, Suguru reaches out towards him and pushes his dark sunglasses over his head. Satoru’s infinity allows him through, letting Suguru touch him freely even though none of the tourists milling around brush against him. Suguru brushes his knuckles over Satoru’s cheek and Satoru grabs him by the wrist, nuzzles against his hand. 

Satoru closes his eyes and kisses the back of his hand.  

They get to school on time, and Satoru joins him as he greets his students and gives them crepes, talks to them about their plans for the day. Yuuta seems excited to see him, Mimiko and Nanako, not so much. 

“Oh. Why are you with him ?” Nanako says, with the air of bored disdain that only a teenage girl can muster. 

“Why is that kid so mouthy?” Satoru complains when it’s just the two of them, after he gives the kids their training schedules. “Do they know I advocated for you to keep them? That the Gojo clan head at the time vouched for you to be their guardian even though the higher-ups wanted to send them to Kyoto?” 

Suguru feels a headache rising. 

“Mimiko and Nanako are teenagers, you know how teens are…” 

He tries to alleviate the situation without getting into the specifics of it, but it’s hard to explain to Satoru that the twins simply do not like him. Part of it is just them being possessive of him, part of it is just… well.

“Yeah, right .” 

Satoru doesn’t buy it, and while he doesn’t normally care what others think of him, it’s clear that this irks him somehow. Maybe he realizes that the girls are such an important part of Suguru’s life that any relationship between them is impossible without their approval, maybe he sees them as one of the reasons they grew apart. He doesn’t get it. 

The truth is simple - Suguru planned on leaving Jujutsu Tech and taking the twins with him. He wanted to quit and move away. 

He really only stayed because of Satoru at that point, and he thinks the girls know. Suspect at least. 

They’re smart enough to put two and two together, and there was a time when they were very much in tune with Suguru’s emotions, during the worst of his depressive episodes where he had to pull himself together to take care of them. That was also the period in which Satoru’s presence or absence impacted them the most, and he thinks maybe they could tell what sort of sway Satoru had over his mood. 

While Satoru doesn’t necessarily like kids or teaching, he really loves showing off, and while not all the students like him, they’re all curious to ask him questions . Satoru keeps his infinity up and just lets them have at him with whatever while he just stands there.

At some point, Hakari asks him how strong he reaaaally is and Satoru thinks a good demonstration would be to punch him just so he can see how it feels. Hakari seems excited about it. Suguru is appalled, but at least Satoru has the decency to ask Suguru for permission to do it. 

“Absolutely not, I’m not letting you punch my students.” 

“Why not? He’s decently strong, I’m sure he can take it.” 

 “No. My decision on this is final.” 

“But Sensei - ” Kirara’s eyes sparkle excitedly. “I wanna see Kin-kun getting punched by Satoru-chan.” 

Suguru blinks, looks between Kirara looking excited and Hakari looking a little sheepish. 

“Are you two having a fight? Did he do something?” Suguru asks, dreading the answer. 

“I didn’t do anything!” 

“He was three hours late for our date! I thought something had happened to him, but turns out he just stayed up all night and slept through his alarms!”

“It was the World Championship in League!” 

“I was worried about you!” 

Suguru rubs his temples, trying to stave off a migraine. Teenage relationship drama is something else. 

In the background, he hears Satoru talking to Yuuta. 

“Hey kid, are your senpais always like this?” 

“Only when they’re fighting. Not too often! Sometimes they just skip class together and Geto-sensei pretends not to notice.” Yuuta is a really sweet kid, and he’s very polite. Him and Suguru have been working a little on controlling Rika since he got to the school, and he’s making good progress in making friends and stepping out of his shell.   

“I wanna see that guy punch Hakari,” Maki says, doing her best to seem disinterested. 

“Did Hakari-senpai beat you at arm wrestling again?” Nanako asks while popping her gum, not raising her eyes from her phone. 

“Tsk, no. I beat him the last time we tried.” A pause, and then she crosses her arms over her chest and grins. “I just think it would be funny to see it. People make the funniest faces when they get punched.”

“Okay, guys, quiet !” Suguru says, and when it doesn’t work on the first try, he sticks his fingers in his mouth and whistles loudly to get their attention.

“Now, let's try again. Hakari, you're too excited about getting punched by Satoru. Why ?” 

“I just really wanna see how it feels to get punched by someone super strong. If I ever meet someone like that in a fight, I'll be ready for it.” 

Suguru doesn't really know how to respond to that, but he looks at Satoru a little lost and sees Satoru giving his student the thumbs up, as if he agrees with that. He shakes his head and sighs. 

“Kirara, would seeing him get punched help you forgive him?”

“Yes!!! Kin-chan is cute when he gets hurt, because he cries and I get to pet his head and…” 

There's a collective groan from his students and Suguru knows this is just one of those days when he thinks all the money in the world isn't enough for this job to be sufficiently paid. Teenagers are menaces - were they also that bad when they were kids?

He turns to look at Satoru, wearing Suguru’s plain black clothes, stretching over his shoulders, explaining to his students how he puts his cursed energy into his punches for maximum output. He remembers how Satoru used to pull his hair ties out of his hair just to upset him and how Suguru used to throw curses at him and make all the alarms ring. How many corridors and windows and classrooms they tore up, laughing and teasing each other and making Yaga gray prematurely.

“I can't believe you let Satoru punch one of your students,” Shoko says, definitely judging him, but at least she's not telling on him to Yaga. 

“In my defense, he was really excited about it. He's taking it as an opportunity to get babied by his  sweetheart, he'll be fine.” A pause, and then: “Shoko, were we like that too?”

She snorts.

“One time, Satoru snuck up on you in class and bit your cheek.” 

“I remember that. I called a curse on him.” 

“A fire-breathing curse, Suguru. You called a fire-breathing curse on him, in the middle of the classroom. It singed my hair. I had to get a bob! It took months to grow it out.”  

Suguru winces.

“Sorry for that. It looked great on you, though!” 

Shoko sighs, and looks him up and down. 

“Where's Satoru now? I saw you two coming in together this morning, didn't I?” 

“He went to talk to Yaga about something. I wasn't needed, so clearly it's above my paygrade.” He rolls his eyes. At first, he used to get offended at the obvious discrepancy between them - Satoru was trusted with so much more information than Suguru was allowed access to - but nowadays he was grateful to be left alone to deal with his students.

“Satoru wasn't wearing his usual clothes though, was he? They looked a little like…” Shoko trails off, glances at him from the corner of her eye, knowingly. 

“ Don't . I'm not in the mood for a lecture.”

“No lecture here. You're old enough to use protection, aren't you?”

Suguru keeps his face straight and unmoving even as he feels it warming up, the tips of his ears flushing as he takes a sip of his coffee, doing his best not to think of Satoru’s massive cock pulsing in his ass, filling him up with cum.

Oh god. 

He never lets anyone cum inside him, as a rule, but Satoru…

He gets a shudder down his spine.

“Do you think I'm making a mistake?”

“I don't know. Maybe? You never know with these things, but I think…” Shoko drags a hand over her face and then walks up to Suguru. She leans into his space, bumping her hip against his.

“Listen, Suguru. Back when we were kids, I was always half expecting to go to class one day and find you two making out on a desk or something. Satoru was breaking his neck just to make you smile and you were always making googly eyes at him. And you were so good together too, like you had him wrapped around your finger. I still dunno what happened between you two.”

Suguru couldn’t say. Somewhere along the way, they just got messed up. Drifted apart.

And Suguru is content with his life - not happy, but content. Comfortable. It's fine . But…

Nothing can truly compare to the sense of belonging, the security and comfort he got when he was with Satoru. 

And while he knows it’s impossible to recapture the feelings of youth…

“I used to want Satoru so badly. I gave up on him eventually, no point in pining and waiting around for him when he was always off chasing something else, but now… I'm not sure what to do, now that he wants me back?” 

“I think Satoru’s always wanted you, Suguru.”

 “He had strange ways of showing it.”

“Teenage boys aren't exactly known for their emotional intelligence, Suguru.” 

That evening, when he goes home, he changes the sheets, takes his laundry and Satoru’s dirty clothes downstairs to the laundromat. He puts the clothes in the washing machine and as he sits there looking at them spinning he remembers - 

First year, second semester.

Satoru had never done laundry before because he always had servants doing it for him, and Suguru had laughed at him and said he better learn how to do it. They gathered all the socks and boxers and old Pokémon shirts and put them in a hamper, carrying them down to the laundry room.

 They shoved laundry loads into the washing machine carelessly, without bothering to separate them. They played Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters on the tiled floor while the washing machine spun their clothes together, and afterwards they struggled to sort through their mixed-up clothes. Mismatched clothes and colors bleeding together. Satoru’s boxers and Suguru’s tabi socks. 

Suguru got annoyed by it, thought it was a huge hassle, but Satoru had fun with it. Something about the boring ordinariness of basic ass chores got him excited, maybe because he wasn't used to it or maybe because he did it with Suguru.

And Suguru remembers going to bed that evening and thinking about - setting up Ikea furniture together and peeling potatoes. Grocery shopping and getting ready in the morning.

A thousand small, meaningless, ordinary moments and how they could make up a life together.

Chapter Text

The Gojo Family Matriarch is Satoru’s grandmother. Her name is Lady Yumiko, and she has a whole separate wing of the house all to herself. 

After Satoru’s grandfather died and she took over as the head of the Gojo Clan, she opened up a whole new wing of the house for herself and left the old Master Suite, claiming it was much too big for one old lady to live there on her own, and she insisted that Satoru should renovated it to his liking. When he didn’t care enough to do it on his own, she set it up as a project for himself and simply made him choose colors and fabrics and decorations, got a whole interior design team to set up a suite for a young, rich bachelor, but neutral enough that it will be easy for a future spouse to redecorate themselves. 

Satoru remembers snorting and rolling his eyes at it, but his grandmother insisted it was very important, and that his future wife will appreciate it. Satoru himself didn’t really say anything about it, content to just leave it at that. He had no plans to move himself into his grandparent’s suite, renovated as it was, but then he came back one day and found all his things had been moved and while it was definitely fucking annoying, before getting the change to complain about it, his grandmother took him but the hand and gave him the tour of his new accommodations. 

Since his grandma was old, tiny, and the only close family he had nearby, he was much more willing to indulge in her things. And after all, it wasn’t really that important either. He was fine with sleeping wherever. 

There were lots of different cousins and aunts and uncles, different degrees of removal, but they were secondary branches of the family, weak techniques, people that worked for the Gojo Main House but while they lived on the same grounds, they did not share the same living space. Rather, aunts and uncles lived in small houses outside in separate quarters, and Satoru knew they were dissatisfied with the arrangement, though none of them were brave enough to voice the complaint outloud. 

“So many servants, such a big house, and it’s just empty. Just one old woman and Gojo-Sama himself, but so many empty rooms!” 

On time, Satoru suggested to his grandmother that maybe she could let some of them move into the main house just to keep her company when he was in Tokyo or on missions, and she was so appalled that she dropped her chopsticks! 

“Satoru! You want to move hens and geeses in my bedroom? Do you want them plucking out my eyeballs in my sleep?” 

“Come on, granny, those are your sisters, aren’t they? Wouldn’t it be better to have them closer, since you’re always complaining about being alone?” 

Lady Yumiko shook her head. 

“Satoru, they’re your grandfather's relatives, not mine, and you know very well they would all take it as favoritism! Can’t have that!” 

Satoru knew, but he also knew that none of them would ever dare plot to usurp him - as head of the clan, so he found his grandmother’s concerns a little silly sometimes. Still, even since his grandfather died and his mother refused to return from her self-imposed European exile, different branches of the Gojo family were plotting and scheming against each other to gain favors. 

Satoru himself was unapproachable and not keen on playing the bootlicking game - everyone thought he was standoffish and rude and he preferred it like that. Because of that, his grandma was the constant target for ambitious clansmen. 

“You’re aunt Emiko has been sending invitation after invitation for us to go visit them. She wants to know if you’re available next week.” 

Satoru rolls his eyes. 

“Is aunt Emiko still holding onto hope that I’ll marry one of her granddaughters? I thought I was clear when I said I don’t wanna marry anyone from the clan, I don’t care to fuck any of my cousins.” 

“Oh no, no! I think she wants you to meet one of her grandsons this time.” 

“Same principle applies! I don’t wanna fuck someone that’s related to me!” 

“But if it’s a boy, then you can’t get them pregnant, and the inheritance can stay in the Family, and…”

Rather than being seen as a point against him, his bisexuality was a golden opportunity for matchmakers to peddle both granddaughters and grandsons in his direction, hoping that he will eventually take a liking to one of them. They didn’t seem to understand that Satoru was just uninterested in sticking his dick in someone who shared the last family name as him. 

“Granny, come on. I told you before. No cousins, I don’t care how far removed they are. I’m a Gojo, not a Zenin.” 

“Satoru! That’s rude!” his grandma has to raise herself on her tip toe to pull his ear, and Satoru bends down a little to let her reach. 

They walk together down the winding steps in the garden, Lady Yumiko holding on to his arm with one hand, shuffling slowly. Every month, she takes him to the Gojo family temple so they can say a prayer for his grandfather and bring an offering. Satoru isn’t the religious kind, but he supposes there's something nice about the routine of it.

“We’re overdue on a wedding, you know,” his grandmother says, out of the blue, no other commentary, just throwing it out there to ruin Satoru’s inner peace.

“Granny, come on. Give me a break.”

“Satoru, listen. The last time this temple saw a wedding was when me and your grandfather got married. The last joyful event was when we brought you here for the first time. It's been only funerals ever since,” Satoru wants to open his mouth to argue but Lady Yumiko shuts him down, “I don't wish to hear about any of the other family branches holding their events here. I don't care. I only care about you.” 

Satoru laughs at her and puts a hand on her shoulder, steering her to walk around the temple, lighting incense and candles.

“You're a mean old woman, granny. All those aunts and uncles would be upset to hear you speak like this!”

“They're all just waiting for me to die, anyways. They never liked me. You know, when your grandfather brought me here as a wife, they all spent months trying to send me away and marry him off with some Zenin or Kamo or whatnot. Did you know that old hag Emiko used to plot to send me back to Hokkaido?” 

“Who're you calling a hag, grandma, you and Emiko are the same age.”

“And I'm still the Lady of the Gojo household and she's trying to peddle her grandsons and granddaughters to you!”

Old Lady grudges are so fucking intense. Satoru’s heard all this thousands of times already, so he knows exactly how this is supposed to play out. He has a long back and forth with his grandma about how much of a bitch old aunt Emiko is, and how aunt Sayuri always was two faced and conniving, how uncle Tasumi married into the clan, but he brought his chin as a dowry and he passed down to every kid on that side of the family, such a shame. 

“Your grandfather should have been more strict about the kind of people his clansmen were allowed to marry. We're going to have to deal with Tasumi's weak chin and receding hairline for generations now! Your grandfather died with a full head of hair, and so did your great-grandfather! None of them had receding hairlines!”

“Imagine if all the Gojo’s down the line have receding hairlines and weak chins. Terrible.”

“You make fun of it, but it keeps me up at night!” Lady Yumiko says. 

His grandmother used to be considered a great beauty in her youth - it’s why his grandad married a commoner from Hokkaido with a weak Cursed Technique instead of someone from a prestigious family. Even in her old age, you could still see remnants of that beauty and elegance, and the vanity and self assuredness that came with that.

She stops in her tracks and strains to look up at him.

“You're so handsome, Satoru. Why can't you just find someone to be with?”

“My looks aren't the problem, Grandma. My personality's shitty, remember? Everyone agrees,” he laughs.

“Baah, that's not a reason! You're handsome and rich and tall! Most people will overlook anything in a man handsome enough, and the rest is smoothed out by the money.”

“Grandma, we've been over this before. I don't want to get married.” 

She sighs and shakes her head sadly..

“Listen Satoru - I worry about you. I'm an old woman. When I die, who's going to look after you?”

“I don't need anyone to look after me, I'm….”

“You're the strongest, yes, yes, I know . Call me old fashioned, but I think everyone needs someone to look after them. Even you. And you're a lot like your grandpa, Satoru, I think you'd love to have someone to dote on in return. Why deny yourself the tenderness of that?”

“There's little room for tenderness in my line of work, grandma.”

“That’s only because you don't know how to be tender, Satoru. It doesn't come naturally - it rarely does to men like you - but it's a skill that's satisfying to learn, if you meet the right person to teach you.”

His grandmother often says things like that, silly things that often pop up in his head later and make him pause. 

He doesn't think of himself as tender, and he’s too big and too strong to elicit much of it from others. Women and men sometimes try to be sweet like that, but it feels wrong. Strange to be on the receiving end of caresses.

And sex for him isn't supposed to be a tender affair, it's more about need and want and taking something he wants. His partners come and go, and all parties involved know exactly what to expect from each other. They're there to fuck and to satisfy that need with each other - anything else is just fluff, the sexual equivalent of making annoying small talk, and it’s not necessary. 

But….

Suguru .

He can't help himself, his mind always drifts there lately, and he ends up thinking about Suguru. 

Suguru’s elegant hands and long fingers and gentle smiles. He thinks of being young again, of long drives back to Tokyo, where he put his head on Suguru’s shoulder in the car and smelled his hair. Casually putting his arm around Suguru and hugging him. Falling asleep on the same couch after a night of watching movies together, legs tangled together and waking up groggy and stiff.

Suguru's face with the pillow marks and tousled hair. Suguru used to put both hands over his mouth and run to the bathroom to brush his teeth, but Satoru didn't really care about his morning breath or if he sweated during the night. Suguru was just Suguru either way. 

And then whenever he thinks about those times, he remembers all the moments he stopped himself from reaching out to kiss him. Morning breath or stale sweat, grime under their fingers after missions and blood on his brow, he thinks- I really should have kissed Suguru back then - and he always laughs at himself afterward.

He tells himself it's alright. They have time.

“You're 27. You're going to need to name an heir soon.” 

“Can I at least turn thirty before you remind me of that?”

“No,” his grandmother says, arms crossed over her chest, “and don't roll your eyes at me like that! I don’t know how long I'll be around, I need to pester you while I'm still alive!”

“You're fine, grandma. Shoko says you have another 10 years left in you at least.”

He refuses to let his grandma guilt him into a loveless marriage. Gojo Satoru does not work like that.

“But you know, by 30 you're expected to name an heir.”

“I'm not planning on dying soon, grandma. And there's plenty of cousins, isn't there? Who's supposed to be next in line?”

His grandma looks at him across the table and suddenly she bursts into exaggerated sobs, hands over her face and shoulders shaking, though Satoru doesn’t buy any of it. 

“You'll let one of those inbred, ugly cousins inherit our family's great legacy? Do you know who's next in line? Your cousin Tezuka. He's barely a first grade!”

Satoru winces.

“So he’s ugly and weak.” he says, sadly.

“He's ugly and weak!” Grandma Yumiko wails, “Oh, you want me to die knowing you're alone, it breaks my heart but it's your choice. But you want the family to go to ruins, overrun with ugly people and receding hairlines, Satoru, how can you do this to me? Have you no heart for a poor old woman?”

What a bother.

“What ever happened to that nice friend of yours you brought home one summer? Why aren’t you marrying her?” She starts, seemingly forgotten about her crying, no tears to be found anywhere. 

Satoru looks at her and raises his eyebrows. 

“What friends?” 

“You know. Your classmate! The sweet one with the long hair.” 

Satoru sits there for a second, contemplating what the situation is, and then when it click - 

“ Suguru ?” 

“Odd name for a girl,” she says, and picks up her cup of tea to take a sip, “Why don’t you marry Suguru?” 

“That’s because Suguru’s not a girl, grandma. Suguru’s a teacher at Jujutsu Tech.” 

She looks at him and blinks a couple of times, tilting her head to the side. 

“So odd. I remember long hair and that he looked pretty in those yukatas the servants set out.” 

“Grandmaaa.” 

“Hush now, Satoru. I’m going up there in age. Can’t expect me to be as sharp as I used to be,” she says, delicately sipping her tea. When she sets it back down, she picks up a little piece of mochi and bites into it, “Is Suguru married? Can he find someone for you?” 

Satoru sighs. 

It’s going to be a horrifically long day.

Suguru was only a guest at the Gojo family compound once. 

It was the summer between the first year and the second year, and they had a break, and Satoru was asked to come home and he thought it would be nice to bring Suguru along with him. His granddad was still alive at that point and his grandma’s back was straighter, and Satoru still sorta kinda knew where his mom was. Sometimes she even called. Visited. 

Anyways, summer of 2005. Suguru’s hair was barely long enough to be put up in a bun, but since there was no need to go on missions, he just let his hair loose over his shoulders. Sometimes Satoru pulled at the little locks of hair that got in his face, or he pushed Suguru’s hair behind his ear to make him blush. 

He didn’t think of it as flirting at that point, but he supposed it was - instinct more than anything, over familiarity with Suguru, lack of respect for Suguru’s personal space. Draped over his shoulder, mouthing at Suguru’s hair, pushing it over his shoulder, messing up the tie of his yukata so he could offer to redo it. Suguru blushed a lot. 

They ate watermelon outside in the gardens and the servants brought them shaved ice with syrup. For Satoru it was common, but it was clear that Suguru was uncomfortable with being waited on - he fidgeted around servants and he was always offering to help, getting into small talk with the maids and in a way that Satoru never bothered. 

He showed Suguru his favorite spots - he took him to the temple and then took him to the lake behind it, sat on the arched bridge with their feet dangling over the water. Satoru got a sunburn and developed freckles over the bridge of his nose, over his cheekbones, so his grandma made him wear a hat, but Suguru’s skin just got beautifully golden-bronze in the sunlight. When he smiled at Satoru, he looked like he was glowing. 

Late at night, when the summer nights were sticky and overly hot, they laid down on the veranda and waited for any bit of a breeze to cool them off. Sometimes they played shit, but not always - Satoru liked pointing at constellations and explaining them to Suguru. Suguru was half interested, but he was always a good listener. Mid-July Meteor Showers, Perseides and radiant border on Cassiopeia. 

The bridge of his nose itching from the burn. Suguru’s thighs with mosquito bites. Catching himself glancing at Suguru’s flat belly when his TShirt rode up. 

And that summer, he was also just so incredibly, frustratingly, maddeningly horny. He wanted to jerk off every moment of every day, but he could never do it because he was always with Suguru close by. His dick was always fucking hard, walking around over-sensitive, his skin overly hot. Yukata rubbing against his nipples, mindlessly humping the bed whenever he laid down for too long. He had to sneak away to find moments to jerk off while Suguru wasn’t paying attention. Had to muffle his noises in the pillow while they were sleeping in the same room.

He remembers one evening, they were sitting together outside and liking popsicles. Lips stained cherry red or blueberry blue, sticky with melted sugar. Suguru’s cherry popsicles and his blue, so he stuck out his tongue and Suguru did the same thing. The little titanium piercing in the middle of Suguru’s tongue had been pink with his saliva.  

“Have you ever kissed someone, Suguru?” 

Satoru thoughts swam with tongues and lips and purple spit. He sat there looking at the stars and looking at Suguru, the way his lips moved when he sucked on his popsicle. 

“I have,” Suguru answered, and Satoru was taken aback by the answer. 

He knew Suguru was popular, but he never thought Suguru had ever been interested in anyone else. 

“Who have you been kissing behind my back, Suguru?” 

And Suguru laughed as a response, taking Satoru’s petulancy in stride. 

“Just people. I dunno. You kissed people before too, right?” 

Whether Satoru kissed anyone else or not was not the point - Satoru felt like he had been cheated on. Upset and annoyed. Suguru kissing people. 

He remembers feeling bright hot rage in his stomach, green and bitter - too much matcha, not enough milk, like the tea his grandma drank. At that point he wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but retrospectively he clocked it as jealousy, and possessiveness, and his teenage need to consume and own and have the only person who he ever desperately desired like that. 

But right in that moment, he just sounded petulant, and upset, and he made a face at Suguru and refused to talk to him for so long that he actually got his friend worried, and worse of all - he wasn’t even able to fully articulate what it was he was feeling. Not for himself and certainly not for Suguru. 

A few days after Suguru left the Gojo compound, he had to go with his grandpa to a clan meeting a couple of hours away - and there he met a pretty girl with long black hair and messy cut bangs. He liked her well enough, and she was a year older than him. Her eyes crinkled when she smiled, and Satoru ended up losing his virginity to her while his grandpa and her dad were drinking sake together. By the time they had to leave the next day, Satoru had her multiple times - On her back and bend over the edge of a couch too, and late at night with him lying on the grass and her on top of him. 

She cotton underwear with cherries and little red bows, and she had heartshaped clips in her hair, and Satoru can’t remember her name but he remembers her laying next to him on the grass after they fucked, her head on his shoulder. He looked at the same constellations that he had explained to Suguru before and thought it would probably be different to fuck a boy than it was to fuck a girl, but he’d had to find one with long hair first. 

Okkotsu Yuuta, age 16. Special Grade Sorcerer, and Satoru’s met him already.

He’s a cute kid, a little dead eyed, a little gloomy, carries his dead yandere girlfriend around with him. 

“Well - technically, we’ve exorcized her soul, it’s just a Shikigami, and - “ 

“She still yells she loves him when she appears, though, doesn’t she?” 

Suguru sighs and rolls his eyes. 

“Yes, she does.” 

“Then my assessment still stands,” Satoru concludes, and Satoru puts Okkotsu’s file on the table and takes a bite out of his pistachio croissant, “These are better in Rome, by the way.” 

“Well I’m sorry, Mr. Globetrotter, I’ve never been out of the country.” 

Satoru licks pistachio cream off his thumb and smiles at Suguru. 

“Do you wanna go? I can take you with me next time I go somewhere.” 

Suguru smiles, a little sad and a little fond, and shakes his head. 

They’re sitting together in a little bistro, drinking coffee and eating pastries that Satoru insisted on buying for the both of them. It’s midday and Suguru insisted that he can’t stay for long, he really just wanted to talk to Satoru about something short - but then it’s been an hour already since they met up and half an hour since they sat down at the table here, and the world hasn’t burned down yet. 

“I can’t believe you and Yuuta are related. When Ijichi brought me the results of the search into his family tree and I saw that you and him were related, I sat there a little and reconsidered everything I knew about him.” 

“Makes sense we’re distant relatives, doesn’t it? That’s why he’s so OP.” 

Suguru puts his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands, sighing. He paints his nails black and wears a bunch of rings on his fingers. He looks like a Yohji Yamamoto marketing campaign from a magazine, Karasu Zoku edginess and barely there traces of gray eyeshadow around his eyes. 

“Yuuta is a very sweet kid, but now that I think about it - sometimes he gets cheeky with people in a way that’s very much reminiscent of younger Gojo Satoru. I should have seen it.” 

“That dwerpy, twitchy kid? What did he say?” 

“Told Yaga he’s sorry his wife left him,” Satoru snorts, “ Satoruuuu , don't laugh.” 

“I’m sorry, but it’s really fucking funny. Maybe he really is related to me.” 

Suguru takes a sip of his drink, tears a piece of his croissant with dainty delicate fingers and chews on it. 

“How did your ancestors manage to spread their seed so wide?” 

“My great-great-great-great father had a harem of twenty wives, and he was dead-set on impregnating them all. One of my ancestors used to sell his cum as cure-all you know - ” 

Suguru stopped chewing and Satoru grinned at him. 

“Yup, yup. He would tell people that His Honored One cum was super special and magical, so he people would line up for a taste of it. Very lucrative business. Maybe Yuuta and I are related on that side.” 

“I’ve lost my appetite.” 

“Oh, come on, Suguru. Laugh a little.” There’s an idea in his head, and he wants to sell it to Suguru, but he’s sure Suguru will disapprove. Suguru, however, catches on that something is not quite right. 

“Okay. spill. What are you thinking about? You have that look on your face. I can tell you’re thinking about something I won't like.” 

“Do you think Okkotsu Yuuta would be interested in becoming the heir to a large fortune, on the condition of spending a lot of time in extremely boring meetings? Will get exclusive access to World Strongest Sorcerer for advice and training, and I’m not planning on dying soon, soooo…” 

Suguru takes a second to catch up with what Satoru’s proposing, but then his eyes go wide. 

“You want to make Yuuta your heir? Why ? You barely know him! And you’re almost a complete stranger to him.”  

Satoru shrugs. 

“He’s a special grade. He’s a smart kid too. Seems like he’ll hit a growth sprout. Hopefully he doesn’t have any receding hairlines in the family.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Listen - it’s customary that by 30, you should already name an heir. My granny is panicking. Higher-ups are on my case about it too. I’m not planning on getting married and producing an heir, but I need to pick someone competent who’s got some blood ties to keep the family name. And I still got like three years, so we can do it casually now - the kid can come with me to meetings, I’ll teach him shit, he can meet people. See how he gets used it. If all goes well, I’ll name him heir apparent in two or three years.” 

“What will your family say when you bring in a stranger as a potential heir?” 

“They’ll deal with it.”

Satoru doesn’t actually care about that. He’s not close to any of his family outside his grandma, he always considered Suguru to be more his family than anyone else under the Gojo name.

“We can do it casually first. Get Yuuta to come over to Gojo compound and meet my granny.” 

“Yuuta is shy and awkward. If you corner him with something like that, you’ll just scare him off.” 

“Hmm - you can come with him. Bring the other two kids too, it'll be less suspicious. Yaga’s cursed corpse too.”

“Panda is still my student, Satoru.”

“I cannot take that seriously, you understand, right? It's silly.”

Suguru takes the rest of his coffee to go, and when they’re outside he lights a cigarette and looks incredibly dejected up at the sky.

“We can do it, but I really do dread seeing your grandmother again.”

“My grandma is nice!” Satoru says, even though deep down he knows Suguru has reasons.

“You're grandma told me I'd make a pretty wife. That I should tie my yukatas like the girls do.”

“She meant it as a compliment!” 

Suguru looks at him with a glare.

“She said I had birthing hips.” 

Grandma wasn't wrong, but Satoru knows better than to say it out loud.

He offers to take Suguru back to campus by teleporting him, but Suguru just says he'll drive.

“Why would you drive?”

“Why not? I like driving and I don't like relying on auxiliary managers. Not my fault you never bothered to learn.” 

“Are you a good driver?” 

Suguru shrugs.

“I'm decent. Want me to drive you somewhere?” 

Satoru thinks that sounds like a super fun idea, so he hops in Suguru’s Jujutsu Tech black car, sitting in the passenger seat and popping Kinoko no Yama in his mouth while Suguru drives them. 

“You know, when we were young, I always thought you’d end up in some arranged marriage your grandad sent up for you. I never thought you’d just flat out reject the idea.” 

“Do I look like the marrying type to you?” 

“I suppose not,” Suguru shifts gears smoothly while in traffic and Satoru thinks he looks pretty competent behind the wheel, actually, “not the marrying type, but I always assumed you would.” 

There is a kind of sadness when he says it, some wistfulness. Maybe Satoru’s imaging. Maybe Suguru imagined himself as the bride at some point. 

“I think I don’t like most people enough to marry them. And to be fair, most people don’t like me either.”  He throws a chocolate mushroom up in the air and catches it in his mouth, but Suguru hits a speed bump just then so his chocolate mushroom goes down poorly and he ends up gagging and coughing on it. 

“Oh, sorry, sorry! There’s a water bottle in the side door, you can have a sip there.”

Satoru glares at him and coughs, but he takes the water bottle and drinks about half of it. 

“Ugh. Now my throat feels violated.” Suguru snorts, but he doesn’t say anything. It’s suspicious though, so Satoru raises an eyebrow at him and asks, “ What ?”

“Nothing,” but he looks steadfastly at the road and only glances at Satoru once, “Nothing, really. I’m just…” He doesn’t say anything and just trails off. Satoru can see a dusting of blush on his cheeks. 

“Oh, I can tell what you’re thinking,” Suguru’s face gets redder, and Satoru pokes his cheek while they’re sitting at a red light, “It’s funny how you can blush with me even though we slept together already.” 

“It was a one time thing only. And I can’t help it, you’re…well. You’re you .” 

Yeah, he supposes that’s it. Satoru’s Satoru and Suguru’s Suguru, and they’re relationship is weird and complicated and entangled. There’s an awkward silence stretching between them now, and Satoru could just ease Suguru’s suffering and change the subject, or he could just make it worse. 

“Truth be told, I don't think dicks are that attractive, so I just never wanted to put my mouth on them.” 

The car swerves a little, someone honks at them, and Suguru gives him a stinky look but doesn’t say anything. 

“Why are you looking at me like that, now? It’s what you wanted to know!” 

“I cannot keep having these conversations with you sober, also what the hell? Never ? That just makes you selfish.” A beat, and then he keeps going. “I always assumed you'd be a terrible lover.” 

“I’m not a terrible lover! Do you really think I’m a terrible lover?” 

That’s so insulting. Him and Suguru already slept together once, but Suguru had been mostly inebriated and Satoru had been too angry and jealous to really give it his best shot, so now he’s feeling a little him in the ego. Does Suguru think he’s a terrible lover? Is he a terrible lover? Was his performance with Suguru lacking or was it just because he said he doesn’t suck dick? 

In his defense, he’ll eat  someone out if they’re not wet enough or if they don’t have lube at hand, but dicks just aren’t that tasty looking! Maybe he shouldn’t have said that, especially considering Suguru didn’t complain about sucking his dick and - 

Ugh. He really doesn’t want Suguru to be upset with him over this. And they haven’t had a fight or avoidance cycle in a couple of weeks, they were making progress . 

“I can make an effort and suck your dick, if you want me to.”

Suguru rolls his eyes so hard, it looks like they're about to pop out of their sockets.

“How generous of you offer.” 

Satoru doesn’t get a chance to day anything else, because they get to the college and he’s kicked out of the car. Suguru can be such a bitch sometimes, he thinks, but he feels a little guilty anyways. 

Suguru really has a talent for making him feel guilty. Like any good wife should. 

Their chemistry has always been excellent, so they can meet up for lunch and breakfast and chat without having weird lulls and breaks in the conversations. It's not really dating even though they sometimes flirt, but it's just friends catching up either because there's some measure of intent behind it too.

Breakfast runs in the morning to get snacks for Suguru’s students. Coffee off campus whenever there's time. Satoru starts bringing him shit from his trips even when he didn’t before.

He doesn't sleep around, and neither does Suguru. 

It's a comfortable routine. 

He takes Okkotsu Yuuta as a protege and a potential future heir, and he really does like the kid. 

He is really smart and he has a natural talent for cursed energy. His innate cursed technique is cool too - little copy cat ninja, Satoru ends up being fond of the twitchy little dwerp that starts shadowing him in clan meetings. 

Sometimes though, even a teenager as well behaved as Yuuta will suprise him somehow.

“Gojo-san -”

“I told you, you can call me Satoru. It'll be really weird if you keep calling me Gojo-san if I name you my heir.”

“Yes. Of course. Sorry Go - Satoru .” 

A pause. They're sitting in the Gojo compound garden. Yuuta's supposed to accompany him to his Zen’in meeting and neither of them are looking forward to it, especially since the kid seems to have some one-sided beef with them. His face gets all upset and intense whenever they're mentioned, and Satoru assumes it's some sort of loyalty on behalf of his outcast Zen’in classmate. Yuuta's the type to get overly attached, it seems - not that it's a surprise, considering he tied the Queen of Curses to himself because he couldn't bear letting her go.

“Can I ask you a question, Satoru?”

“Sure. What is it?”

He looks fidgeting. Sweatier than usual. 

“Are you and Geto-sensei together?”

Satoru blinks, then he looks over at the kid. Yuta shrinks a little in his chair, embarrassed

“Huh. Who made you ask?” 

He swallows.

“No one. I just…” Satoru raises an eyebrow and Yuta winches. “Kirara. There’s an ongoing bet happening. If you're together, or exes, or if you're just looking to get together.” 

“Is “they’re just friends” and opinion in that bet?”

“No.” 

“Is Suguru aware of this bet?”

“God, no . Please don't tell him. He’d be so upset.” 

Satoru can smell fear in the air and unfortunately for Yuuta, he likes teasing people without caring about age or status. No mercy.

“He'd be so disappointed. So sad. Can you imagine Geto-sensei sadly shaking his head and saying how he expected so much better from you than to get involved in gossip?” Satoru makes an exaggeratedly frowny face, complete with downturned mouth and pout. Tsk.

“I'm sorry I asked. Please don't tell Geto-sensei about this.” 

Truth be told, Satoru would like to know himself

Chapter Text

Suguru isn’t naturally an organized person. The core of him is too messy and unstable - like the unique cursed energy of him, stitched together from the curses he ingests. A whole array of quirks and personality flaws that he barely keeps together and a tendency of despondency that comes in waves.

There’s days where he doesn’t want to get out of bed. Still fantasizes about running away, losing himself in the countryside where no one knows who the hell is.  

Suguru allows himself about 10 minutes of wallowing before snapping himself out of it. He’s on minute 8 when his phone rings, and when he looks at the screen he sees Nanako’s name flashing, little red heart next to it, effectively jumpstarting him into motion and forcing him to stop dillidallying uselessly. 

“Hey, you. Good morning!”

“Geto-senseeeeei, morning !” Both the girls yell into the phone, and it sounds far away like he’s on speaker, “ we’re doing our makeup!” 

He smiles to himself and shakes his head. Get out of bed as he listens to them tell him - nothing important, just chatting about their evening, complaining about Jujutsu Tech food. Nanako wants him to bring over crepes again. Mimiko wants takoyaki. 

You can’t be depressed when you have kids counting on you to bring them snacks, Suguru’s been reminding himself of the same thing since seventeen. 

He promised himself that whatever he does, he has to keep himself functional because Mimiko and Nanako counted on him. When they were small and traumatized clung to him without accepting anyone else, he had to learn how to brush their hair and what they liked to eat, how to clean up scrapes and bruises because neither of them wanted Shoko nearby for a whole year. Then, he let them brush his hair and braid it and put bows in it, and whenever he was on a mission he had to take care of himself and be home on time, with souvenirs, because he didn’t want to worry them. 

He also realized quickly that neither of them were especially strong, no spectacular techniques - and the thought of letting just become ordinary sorcerers, where no one cared if they lived or died - Suguru became a teacher because he couldn’t bear the thought of letting the girls he rescued face the cold indifference of the system that almost swallowed him whole. 

Suguru took his responsibilities seriously - he might not feed himself properly all the time, might make some shitty decisions in his personal life, but he was determined to be a good teacher and a substitute parent. He got himself planners and made lists and drilled a routine into himself even when he didn’t feel like it, and it kept him as sane as possible

And all that meant that sometimes in the morning, he got to listen to idle teenage gossip while he brushes his hair and puts on his jewelry. 

“Geto-Senseeeei, did you know Yuuta is with that guy again? Went on some trip abroad and he’s excused from classes for a whole week .” 

Suguru sighs, hearing the jealousy in their voices. One thing he is proud about is that Mimiko and Nanako grew up into decently normal teenage girls - slightly spoiled because he spent all his paychecks on them, regular teenage girl hobbies, crushes on Idols, occasional bouts of harmless jealousy. They’re too busy hanging out with friends, teasing boys and complaining about schoolwork to develop any sort of ill will towards the world, and that’s exactly how he wants it. 

He chuckles at it  and thinks, Satoru owes him for all the smoothing over he has to do in class - not that Satoru cares that there’s tension between his students, but Yuuta would very quickly stop being a good little Gojo apprentice if he knew other students resented the preferential treatment. That boy was so desperate to make friends, even if the friends were his lovely little mean girls that teased him about how tired he always was. 

“Girls, we talked about this. You know Yuuta is a relative of Satoru, and Satoru wants to pick a heir for the Gojo clan, and -“ 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yuuta’s a special grade, Gojo names him as an heir, we know, we know, ” a pause, Suguru lets her gather her words while he just braids his hair over one shoulder, “but why does Yuuta get to go to Paris of all places? He doesn’t even wash his hair all the time! ”

Ah, so that's the issue. 

“Nanako, do you want to go to Paris too?” 

“Of course I want to go to Paris! We both want to! There’s fashion week going on, Geto-sensei, fashion week! It’s so unfair to waste that opportunity on Yuuta of all people !” 

The biggest complaint they have is the fact that Yuuta is just not stylish enough to appreciate a trip to Paris, unlike Mimiko and Nanako who are just obsessed with fashion. Suguru lets them talk as he picks up his things from his apartment - wallet, bag, jacket. Cigarettes and lighter. Spritzes himself with perfume as he walks out the door. 

“But you know, Yuuta goes there with Satoru, and he acts like a personal assistant while Satoru works.” 

“What, like…? Like get him coffee and breakfast and stuff?” 

Satoru probably forces Yuuta to help with his paperwork, do boring research in his place, and make friends with old foreign jujutsu sorcerers. Suguru remembers the sort of stuff Satoru complained about when he was a teenager, all the daily business clan shit his grandpa made him do. Now it's probably Yuuta’s job to write cordial notes to Naobito and Naoya. 

“Nothing fun like that. Probably makes him read about the history of the Gojo family and schedule meetings. Secretary shit.” 

He imagines both Mimiko and Nanako making faces at each other. Yeah, that’s what I thought . Travelling around was much less appealing when coupled with the prospect of studying old boring history while there instead of exploring. 

“And why are you envying Yuuta all of a sudden when he has to go everywhere with Satoru? I thought you didn’t like him.” 

“We don’t!” 

But - 

Suguru knows there’s a but so he waits for it. Conjures up his manta ray to take it to school, thank god for trusty old reliable. 

“ I don’t think Gojo’s that bad .”

Mimiko’s voice was level and sweet, but it shocked Suguru so much that he almost dropped his phone when he heard it. 

“Since when?!?” 

“ Oh come on, Geto-sensei. You know. We only hated him whenever he made you sad. ” 

The sweetness and sincerity of the statement hits him so directly, it makes him tear up. Shocks him speechless for half a second before he recovers. 

“What do you mean, made me sad? Satoru?” 

“Duh, we’re not stupid. We have eyes. He used to make you sad for weeks, especially years ago when we just started living with you. All the time. Hated him for it.” 

“Yeah, but lately it seems like you’re actually happier with him. So we decided we don’t hate him anymore, ” a small pause while Suguru gathered his bearings, before Nanako added, “ Can you convince him to take us to Paris too?"

Not too much sweetness from teenagers. 

Yaga catches him immediately as he walks into the school. 

”Suguru, can I talk to you?” And it’s clear there’s no room to wiggle out of it. Suguru looks at him and sighs, looking at bags of snacks he is carrying with him.

“Can I take these to class first? The Nutella crepes will get all gross by the time we finish, and they’re always a favorite with the kids.” 

Yaga crosses his arms over his chest and doesn’t say anything, so Suguru instead summons a pair of geese-curses that hiss at everyone they see and hangs the bags on their beaks before sending them to class in his place. Looks after the waddling bird-curses sadly, knowing full well Yaga never pulls his before classes if he doesn’t have a good enough reason for it.

And when Yaga takes him to his office too, closes the door, oh - Suguru knows it’s serious. He braces himself. 

“What’s wrong, sir?” 

Even after all this time, he hasn’t been able to fully shake his good student attitude around Yaga. 

“Suguru, you used to keep in touch with Tsukumo-san, right?” 

So bizarre to hear her name said in such a serious tone. Usually it was just exasperation. 

“With Yuuki?” Suguru blinks as he repeats it, “I guess, sometimes. We grab a drink if she’s in town, sometimes she calls me if she knows about some cool curse and I go collect it. Why? Is she in trouble?” 

To some extent, Yuuki is always in trouble. The higher-ups don't like her, she’s never around. Her protege was a student in Kyoto so sometimes she visited him. When she was in town, sometimes she called Suguru to hang out with him. She collected her paycheck, but that was the extent of her involvement with Japanese Jujutsu society.

Whenever she was in town, she told Suguru vague and cryptic things about her research, which he never really paid attention to. Research about the nature of cursed energy and the soul was all good and well, but Suguru never allowed himself to be anything other than pragmatic - he had kids under his responsibility, so until Yuuki came to him with concrete solutions, he just couldn’t afford to think about hypotheticals and theories. 

“I know it’s a long shot, but I think it can be done! Imagine optimizing cursed energy and -“

“Yuuki -“ 

Suguru always cut her off, because he never liked dwelling too much on these things anymore. He’d gone down the mental rummagings a lot in his youth, and all he found there was darkness. Slippery slopes. He forced himself down the straight and narrow and refused to stay. 

“ You should talk about these things with Satoru ,“ he’d say, “ He’s smarter than me.” 

“He is not,” she would say with a laugh, throwing her arm around his shoulder, “ and besides, I like you more!” 

“Yuuki is missing,” Yaga says all of a sudden, grimacing. At first, Suguru doesn’t get it. 

“What do you mean, missing? Yuuki is always missing.” 

“I mean, she hasn’t been answering phone calls, hasn’t been withdrawing cash from her bank accounts. Her not communicating is not strange, but her not spending any money for weeks is.” 

Suguru frowns, feels some tug of dread in his stomach. 

Yuuki disappeared often, but she was never completely unreachable.

“Do you want me to do anything about it?” He asks Yaga. 

“Nothing for the moment, but if you find anything that might be related - she was working on something, but we weren’t able to piece it together yet.” 

“Do you think it has something to do with her disappearance?” 

Yaga shrugs.

“Maybe. There’s always something, and it’s not a coincidence.”

 The rest of the day, he’s on edge and absent minded, constantly thinking about Yuuki and what might be strong enough to make a special grade disappear . 

By the end of the day, Shoko notices something is wrong with him and approaches. He’s on the training field with the kids, watching as Mimiko and Nanako are pretending to train with Kirara and Maki is throwing punches at Hakari. 

Shoko’s got her sunglasses on as she approaches, an unlit cigarette hanging on the corner of her mouth. 

“Got a light for me?” She says, and Suguru smiles. Fishes his lighter from his pants and offers it to her, watches as she takes a deep breath. On the exhale, sits down, “Knew I could count on you. Now tell me, what’s on your mind?” 

There’s commotion on the training field, but then - it usually is. Nothing out of the ordinary, seems like it’s all in good fun, so Suguru allows himself to relax a little.

“Yaga says Yuuki Tsukumo’s disappeared.” 

“Tsukumo? She’s always disappearing though. Like a ghost, that one is.” 

“Sure,” he tries to be nonchalant to match Shoko’s attitude, but it doesn’t work on Suguru and she can tell, “it’s just that I’m-“

“Worried?” 

He sighs. 

“ Worried .” 

“Hmm. I’m sure Tsukumo is alright. Sometimes people don’t want to be found, and it doesn’t mean anything deeper than that. She’s probably laying low for some reason.” 

It doesn’t really clear his thoughts, but -

Hopefully it really is that simple. 

“Are you doing anything this weekend?” Shoko asks, “Me and Utahime want to go drinking. You should come.” 

“Maybe. I’ll think about it.” 

He wants to organise a day out with the kids, where they can go to the pool and splash around. Normal pool day episode shit, where he can worry about the UV index and force them to pile on the sunscreen. If Satoru’s back by them…

But no. 

He can’t think about including Satoru into these things too much because then he’ll be disappointed if Satoru doesn’t show up. 

Shoko hums something and elbows him gently. 

“Hmm. You think about it. I’ll call you tomorrow evening too. It’ll do you some good to come with us, I think. Haven’t been out much lately, have you?” 

He really hasn’t. Feels like ever since him and Satoru started this thing, he’s been a boring shut-in. 

“That’s true.  Haven’t had much time lately, I’ve been…”

He trails off. No good reason he can think of. 

“Pining like you did in highschool?” 

“ Shoko !” 

She shrugs and laughs. Shakes her head. 

“Relax, relax. If you wanna go for another round of the SatoSugu ping pong, be my guest, I’m not judging.”

“SatoSugu?” 

“Hmmm. That’s how the tabloids would call you if you were both famous. Like the Barbenheimer double feature we went with Mimiko and Nanako last year.” 

Shoko stays with him when he finishes the class, calls the students back to him and asks them to go inside. As always, before the end of the class, he has to give them feedback for their future training.

Shoko isn’t usually keen on listening in on this part, but she tends to stick close whenever she feels like he’s upset. Offer him coffee after everything is said and done, and they hang out together in the teacher’s lounge. Suguru thinks they got a good rhythm going, before she turns to him randomly and says - 

“Are you just upset about Tsukumo because she took your virginity?” 

She times it so perfectly that Suguru spits out a mouthful of coffee, gets caught in a coughing fit for a full minute. Hot black coffee in his nose and the back of his throat. 

“I hate you. Why do I ever tell you things if you’re gonna use it against me?” 

Shoko sighs forlornly

“It’s not using it against you. It’s just stating a fact. It’s been what, 10 years since that happened? We can talk about it.”

“There’s nothing to talk about! Yuuki and I fucked around a bit, but she was always out the door before I woke up, so…” 

Back when he was in the deepest, nastiest throes of depression, Yuuki offered him a ride on her motorcycle and on her cock, and Suguru just said sure. Why not? Got a taste for big dick from her, and out of all the people he ever slept with, she reminded him of Satoru the most.

Maybe that was the appeal, and in it, the problem. 

Because if Yuuki Tsukumo could disappear - 

“I don’t believe you’re actually upset over Yuuki, so… hmmm, don’t tell me, let me guess.” 

“Shoko -“ 

Unfortunately, she is maddeningly perceptive when it comes to him. Maybe Suguru is just easy to read. 

“You’re afraid that if something could happen to Tsukumo, it would happen to Satoru too.” 

Right. Stop on. Suguru’s just very predictable, but he does try to play it off casually, smiling at her and shaking his head.

 “Can’t help myself. Being a teacher is just feeding into my anxiety - ” 

Shoko doesn’t say anything, but she gets up from her seat and walks over to the mini fridge. Pulls out a mini beer that’s been hidden behind the boxes of old milk and juice, cracks it open and takes a sip of it. Offers the rest of it to Suguru. 

“Satoru is not Yuuki Tsukumo,” She says sagely, the kind of wisdom one can only share with beer, “I think wherever life takes him, he’ll always come back to you. You two are like Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham.”

Suguru takes a sip of the alcohol. It’s not really good and he’s not fond of the brand of cheap beer Shoko keeps stashed around. That said, the comparison amuses him - Shoko’s been a Fleetwood Mac fan all her life, she used to play their music so much that Suguru took a liking to it by proximity. 

“How does that one song go?” He has to think for a moment to remember the lyrics, but - “ you’ll never get away from the sound of the womaaan that loved you ”

“Yeah,” Shoko agrees, “just like that.” 

And Gojo Satoru is the Strongest for a reason, isn’t he? Suguru reminds himself. 

It’s a few days later when Nanami comes over to the school - as he usually does when he has to get new missions. And, as always, he lingers around a bit so he can chat with people - and then stops by Suguru’s desk. 

“Suguru, I’ve brought you something – ” he says, and pulls out some excellent looking buns to offer him. 

“Oh, thank you!” Suguru takes one gratefully, bites into it. It’s slightly sweet, though very dense. Molasses dark and rich. Kento cut them in half and put salted butter on it too.

“I’ve picked up some new backing techniques over the weekend, experimenting with things.” 

Kento’s biggest hobby is baking - he says it relaxes him. Picked it up somewhere during his corporate career, said that taking care of sourdough starter was soothing and the smell of yeast and freshly baked bread was comforting for him. Something about growing up in a mixed household with a Dutch father, he got a taste for the kind of German style bread that wasn’t easy to find in Japan. 

“God, you’re getting so good at this. It’s good that you don’t come by more often, I would gain so much weight. You bring me bread whenever you visit.” 

Nanami is, was, will always be a sweetheart, and Suguru’s achingly aware of it. He smiles at him while he bites into his butter-bread. 

There was a period in time where Suguru just found it incredibly difficult to eat anything at all. The taste of curses bothered him so much, his stomach turning whenever he had to go on a mission. He used to force himself to eat on a schedule, and eat bland, soothing things that wouldn’t upset his stomach more than the curses already did. A lot of soba noodles, plain rice and boiled eggs. Popcorn as a treat, even as Satoru tried to pile him on with sweets, both local and imported. 

Suguru himself, he would eat on a schedule, he kept track of his calories and macros, and exercised enough to keep his physique looking a certain way. He was body conscious and took pride in his appearance, kept his muscles and his weight stable. 

Right up until That Year that he doesn’t like thinking about, where everything spiralled out of his control. 

He stopped eating anything other than curses, puked up the little meals he was able to swallow. His tight schedule of meals and tightly controlled calories went to shit along with his mental health, and the more he spiraled the more he lost track of things that previously seemed important. 

“I’ve been so busy lately, I think I’m living off chocolate crepes and pizza that I eat along with kids. It’s fun and all, but I’m not a teenager anymore.”

“I don’t remember you being a big fan of junk food while we were teenagers, though.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t. That was just Satoru.”

It was only in his late teens and early twenties when he started indulging, going to parties and dates and clubs. Buying treats for his students and eating alongside them. 

Kento looks at him and smiles, one side of his mouth only. He’s not fond of Satoru, because their personalities clash. He’s cool and controlled and naturally put together. Makes it look easy to be organised. Life is all well placed in neat little spaces. 

Satoru just spills everywhere, too big for anyone to contain.  

“There’s a new place open near my place, it has excellent reviews. If you want, we could stop after work.” Kento offers, and Suguru’s first impulse is to say yes. 

“I would love that, we could - ” 

But then he stops, mid sentence. Looks away, looks at the buttered bun, looks at Kento. 

Part of the reason why Kento isn’t overly fond of Satoru is because of Suguru, and Suguru’s tried very hard for a very long time to ignore the simple truth of it. Kento has some latent resentment for Satoru - some righteous protectiveness over Suguru, some misplaced anger over perceived abandonment. Satoru’s never there when they need him, Satoru wasn’t there when Haibara died, Satoru wasn’t there when Suguru needed him, Satoru’s just never there , he’s always away, he never knows what they’re going through.

Kento’s too classy to outright say it, but Suguru knows. 

And Suguru thinks, part of it because he’s been in love with Satoru for so long, and pining so uselessly. And the love of Nanami’s life is dead , and the two of them are never really gonna happen, but maybe if Satoru - 

It’s complicated. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Suguru finds himself saying, and smiles at him sadly.

“Ah.

Usually how things went - when they went out, sometimes they ended up in bed together. Because they were both lonely, yes, yes, but they ended up in bed together and now Suguru’s allowing himself to explore this new sorta thing he’s got with Satoru and he can’t go on a date with Kento. It wouldn’t be fair.

Was never really fair. 

Suguru’s not a coward, though, so he takes a deep breath and confesses -  

“Me and Satoru -” 

Suguru thinks he sees Kento rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses, and he just feels so dreadfully stupid about it. 

“Suguru, while I know it’s not my place to say - ” 

So embarrassing At their big ages, they’re still playing around with this teenage shit. 

“It’s alright. You’re my friend. You can say whatever.” A pause. “Shoko spares me no mercy.” 

“Ten years is a long time to wait for someone to get their act together.” 

Kento feels bad for him and that’s the fucking worse. Shoko makes fun of him and sometimes she imparts wisdom, but Nanami isn’t the kind to comment on matters of the heart unless they get very obvious and very embarrassing. They spent so much time together and not a peep, but now -

“I know.” 

Oh, he wants to kick Satoru so badly for putting him in this position in the first place. That moron. 

It’s clear wants to say more, but he gives Suguru the grace of shutting the fuck up and he’s grateful for that. 

“We can still go out to eat, Suguru,” he adds, “You’re still my friend. We can ask Shoko and Ijichi too.” 

And just like that, it feels like a weight is lifted off his chest. Nanami doesn’t like his relationship with Satoru, but he doesn’t resent Suguru for it. Steady reliability and consistency must be so nice.

But god, he really wishes Satoru were here. 

He takes Shoko and Utahime up on their offer, and they go drinking together during the weekend. First, they go to a bar and get themselves a little tipsy, and then Utahime declares that she wants to go dancing because it’s more glamorous in Tokyo, so that’s what they do. They end up in one of the newer, more upscale clubs in Shibuya, called Crow’s Calling.  

“This place is too fancy. They’re not going to let us in when we’re dressed like this, Utahime,” Shoko is likely right, but then Utahime pulls out her phone. 

“It’s alright,” she says, and shows them her lockscreen. It’s a picture of her and Mei Mei laughing together, where Utahime is obviously inebriated and Mei Mei looks slightly less conniving than she usually does, “I know the owner, they have to let me in,” she says with a wink. 

“You’re joking,” Suguru says, and looks up at the place, “This is Mei Mei’s newest investment?”

“Yup, yup,” Utahime nods excitedly, “She bailed out of the whole crypto thing right before it started losing value, and cashed in her money. Then, she went on this trip to China, ended up extorting money from a couple of Triads. Came home and opened a club.” 

Utahime grins and shakes her head. 

“Watch this,” she walks straight up to the bouncer, passing the line of people, and shows her her phone, “Hello, look at this picture of me and the owner of the club. She said I should just show you this if I ever wanna get inside.” 

The two bouncers look at Utahime’s smiling face, the phone and instantly let them inside

“See? You get perks from sleeping with rich people.”

As they walk in behind her, Shoko elbows him as she points at Utahime’s back.

“See, idiot? That’s how you do it! What perks do you get from Gojo except gray hairs and anxiety?” 

Suguru rolls his eyes. Slightly tipsy Shoko is a menace. 

“I’m not sleeping with Satoru, Shoko.” 

She scoffs at him. 

“It’s even worse then. Not even getting dick.” 

He wants to complain to her but the inside of the club is loud and crowded, dim lights and overwhelming perfume. Crow’s Calling looks like any other glitzy new club, sharp and polished and elegant, offers overpriced booze and gorgeous looking waitstaff.

“Do you think this place is some money laundering scheme?” Shoko asks, only half joking. 

“ Definitely .” Utahime’s not shy to admit, shrugs her shoulders as she sips her drink through a straw and bounces her hips with the music, “She makes money out of it, but…you know. I’m sure some of it is shady.” 

There’s a glint in her eyes as she says it, and Suguru realizes with a laugh that sleeping a ruthless, shady mobster lady is part of the appeal of it for Utahime. Maybe the stress of being forever a good girl got to her and pushed her into the arms of someone older, sexy and dangerous. The Jujutsu equivalent of a salary woman and alpha yakuza, and he remembers Utahime sneaking that sort of manga to read whenever she had free time. 

Suguru’s happy for her, if a little scared of the implications, but hey - Mei Mei’s shenanigans make for entertaining gossip in the morgue with Shoko. 

Idly, he wonders where Satoru is and how he’s doing. 

“I’m gonna go out for a smoke,” he says, while Shoko and Utahime are talking. 

“Wait, let me come with you -” Shoko tries, but he waves her off and gives her a look, hoping to convey the feeling. Please don’t . 

And she doesn’t insist, rather she sighs and rolls her eyes and waves him off. Like the non-verbal equivalent of Fine, do whatever you want.  

The club has an indoor terrace with a fountain in the middle - music still comes from inside but it’s quieter, and it’s got little booths separated by thick ivy and gauzy curtains. Obviously they’re full of drunk people making out, as intended. It’s also where the smoking area is, so Suguru takes his cigarettes out, puts one in his mouth. 

He makes to light his zippo but another man does it first, flickering flame in front of Suguru’s face. 

“Need a light?” 

Suguru snorts and rolls his eyes. It’s a pretty smooth move, he knows, he’s been on the receiving end of it before and also did it himself. A classic, if you will. 

“Yeah, I do,” he says, lowering his cigarette to the flame, raising his eyes. 

He thinks - it would be so easy, actually. He’s done this sort of thing time and time again, whenever he told himself he shouldn’t but loneliness scratched at the back of his head, dark thoughts and overwhelming need to escape. 

Things spiralling outside of his control and him slipping, either take the reins or let go completely. Meaningless sex and people blurring together. 

The only thing he ever succeeded in was digging himself even deeper into the same hole. 

This guy is decently handsome. Older than him, black hair. 

Suguru smiles, eyes crinkling. 

“Thank you, but I think you should try somewhere else.” 

And with that, he turns around and walks away, leaving the guy understandably confused. Suguru knows what it means to him, though. 

He digs out his phone from his jacket pocket and calls Satoru. It takes two-three rings for him to pick up. 

“Suguru baby, what’cha doing?”

He can’t help the rush of warmth to his face when he hears Satoru’s voice calling him a pet name. Has had the same reaction all this time, and always in its wake there’s embarrassment, and sometimes he used to get angry at himself for reacting like that. Only now, when he knows for a fact it’s reciprocated and Satoru is actively pursuing him, is his heart allowing himself to feel joy and giddiness rather than just annoyance. 

“Where are you?” Suguru asks, clicks his tongue piercing against the back of his teeth. 

“I’m in Hokkaido, after we came back from that mission in oversees, me and Yuuta had to take a detour and - ”

Suguru doesn’t have the patience for this, he realizes, anticipation builds in his stomach more and with each tap of his foot. He takes a drag of his cigarette, flicks the ash. He’s got his nails painted shiny black, fresh top coat. Nanako and Mimiko help, as they always do.  

“I wanna see you,” he says, too fast, cutting Satoru off. Clears his throat and says it again, sounds more intentional, “I want to see you, Satoru.” 

“ Now ?” 

Suguru thinks back to how he was years ago, how he let this chasm widen between him and Satoru, and how he was too proud and too stoic to ever say something so forward. 

“Now.” 

Didn’t want to be a bother. Told himself, if Satoru wanted to see him, he’d come around. Never considered asking, because he had an idea in his head that you shouldn’t ask people to give you what you need - if they loved you, they should just know. 

He knows better now, or maybe getting older finally made him impatient enough to match Satoru’s directness, at least on occasion.

“Now. I wanna see you now.” 

Satoru chuckles, and there’s a click of the line going dead. Suguru closes his eyes and then feels the air in the club shift around him, the way Satoru wraps the immediate space surrounding him when he teleports somewhere. 

Suguru looks at him slightly awed - he knew Satoru would come as quickly as Suguru asked, but knowing something is theory is different than seeing it. 

Satoru’s dressed in light, flowy pants, and wears an old shirt that maybe was oversized at some point, but now it’s just a little tight over his shoulders. He stands there in the middle of the dark, dimly lit crowd, white hair and light clothes, the smell of ozone clinging to him. Sparkling lighting, towering over everyone and looking cool while at it. Handsome like a dream, people staring at him and whispering. Hands in his pockets, swaggy. 

Suguru’s heart skips a beat. Like highschool. Huffs and shakes his head, hides his face behind his hair. 

“You’re late,” he scolds.  

Satoru’s grin is boyish and so charming, like he grew ten years and ten centimeters and ten kilos of muscles, but he’s got the same grin he’s always had. 

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” 

Satoru walks up to Suguru and crowds into him, an invasive species of an overly clingy man, and only when he’s close enough to rub his nose against Suguru’s does he look around, suddenly aware of where he is. 

“Nice place. Mei Mei’s?” 

“Correct. How’d you guess?” 

“Knew she’d opened a place. And I feel Shoko and Utahime cursed energy in there. Makes sense that this would be Mei Mei’s place.” 

Sometimes it’s scary how Satoru just knows these things. Zero’s in on cursed energy and feels the pulse of it. Extremely intelligent and witty. Focused when he wants to be. 

He knows where Suguru is at any moment in time. All his fantasies of disappearing seem so silly, when Satoru can just teleport to his location at any given moment. 

“Suguruuuu - did you miss me while I was away?” he says jokingly, running his fingers over Suguru’s exposed arm, fingers sneaking under the edge of TShirt sleeve.

“No,” Suguru answers with a smirk, takes one final drag out of his cigarette and blows it up into Satoru’s face. He crinkles his nose and turns it to the side.

“Those smell gross, you know.” 

Suguru laughs. 

“Yeah? Does that mean you don’t want to kiss me anymore?” 

He says it is like a challenge, and he sees the glint in Satoru’s eyes taking it as such. The corner of his mouth raised. His palm on the back of Suguru’s sweaty neck, feeling cool.

“Don’t be stupid,” he says, and kisses Suguru without any hesitation, lips against each other and hungry for him. Suguru responds just as needy, grabbing onto Satoru’s shirt and fisting it in his palms, pressing himself in close. 

Someone bumps into them but Satoru’s big enough that it doesn’t matter, doesn’t make him budge. Suguru bites at his lip and when he moans, he sticks his tongue in Satoru’s mouth first, not playing about it - he wants to taste Satoru’s spit, almost moans where he feels Satoru’s tongue curling against his. 

“Suguru, I missed you,” he whispers against Suguru’s mouth, lips shiny with saliva that Suguru licks off and thinks - Sure. Fuck it. Let’s do it. 

He takes Satoru by the hand and leads him to one of the separees. It looks like someone was already sitting there because there’s drinks on the table, but Suguru doesn’t care. They’re not here now, they can wait for them to finish. Suguru pushes Satoru down on the couch, gets in his lap, knees straddling him and arms on his shoulder, Satoru’s hands on his kneading at his ass and thighs. 

“Suguru, we can just - ” 

Yes, yes, they can just teleport away from here. They can just go somewhere and do whatever they want in peace, there’s no need to do any of it in public, but Satoru doesn’t seem to get that this is part of the excitement. 

“Shut up.” 

He doesn’t want to fuck in a bed yet, he wants to make-out and dry-hump where people can catch them. That's more than half the fun!  Satoru’s hard through several layers for clothes as he ruts in his lap. He grinds in his lap until he can’t stand it anymore, sick throbbing against the inseam of his jeans. Satoru shoves both his hands under his belt to get to Suguru’s skin, and craving something inside, but - 

Suguru leans back and palms at Satoru’s cock, and feels how hard it is. 

“Satoruuu -  do you want me?”

“Fuck, how do you ask question like that? Yeah, I fucking want you.” 

Satoru’s panting as he says it, voice all messed up and his face red, looking at Suguru with pleading blue eyes. 

“So you want me bad?” 

He teases, and Satoru’s fingers dig into his flesh, his hips shoot up to thrust like he could get into Suguru’s body just like that. 

“So bad, baby.”

So Suguru licks his hand and shoves it into Satoru’s pants and squeezes him. Satoru moans, eyelids lowered and never taking his gaze off of Suguru. 

“ Suguru-“ 

Satoru’s dick is all heavy and thick enough that wrapping his hand around it is a problem. Suguru fucking drools thinking about it. 

“Keep your eyes on me, Satoru, I wanna see how much you want me.” 

Satoru isn’t quiet at all, he groans as Suguru jerks him off, but stops him before he comes. 

“I wanna fuck you, I wanna - “ 

Suguru’s just mesmerised by him, the shiny eyes and the red cheeks and the desperation. 

“Okay, okay,” 

They should go to the bathroom at least because here everyone can come see them. The separees are dark and the whole area is dimly lit, but Suguru can hear people talking and moving around. It smells like smoke and alcohol and perfume, but all he’s intoxicated on Satoru’s scent so he just unbuckles his belt and pushes his pants down to mid-thigh, just enough for Satoru to have access. 

“Let me do it, though,” he says and Satoru nods, slightly dazed at what they’re doing. 

Reverse cowgirl isn’t his favorite, but he turns his back to Satoru to sit on his dick, groaning when he feels the head pushing up inside him. Satoru’s too big to take comfortably with just spit and want, but Suguru really wants him

“Someone’s gonna see us,” Satoru protests, gritted teeth but already thrusting up inside Suguru. 

“Not if we’re really fast.”  

“You’re such a fucking freak, you’re - oh my God, you’re squeezing me so tight.” 

Satoru’s hand on his hips trying to move him every which way, while Suguru tries to bounce on a steady rhythm. No finesse to it but it’s so dirty and raw that Suguru’s all high on the thrill of it.

Satoru pulls him by his long hair and forces his spine to bend outwards, his thrust wild as he’s rushing towards his orgasm. Suguru has to pull his shirt up so it doesn't get dirty, splashes of precum on his abdomen as his dick is bouncing. They’re slightly hidden by the table, but every person that passes their booth knows what’s going in there without even looking - skin slapping and groaning, the squeaks of the leather couch as Satoru fucks him. 

He feels Satoru’s cock twitch as he cums inside him, and Suguru jerks himself off fast, forcing himself to finish. Satoru kisses his sweaty back as he gets off, caresses his waist. 

“Come on, baby, come on - ” he urges him. 

He comes on Satoru’s cock and then just relaxes, leans back into Satoru’s embrace while his hole’s still filled with dick. Satoru pushes and pulls at his hips, moving him back and forth in his lap for a bit. When Suguru gets off him and pulls away, Satoru’s cock is still hard and there’s cum dripping down its length. 

Suguru chuckles, cups his cheek in his palm and runs his thumb over his lip. Satoru turns to kiss his fingertips. 

“You wanna go again, big boy?” 

“Yes. Yes please. I wanna fuck you again.” 

It’s almost impossible to get Satoru off of him as they’re leaving the club. Just throws his arm around Suguru’s shoulder and refuses to let go, but Suguru can’t just go because he came here with Utahime and Shoko. 

“You don’t have to be so clingy, you know, I can sit on my own two feet!” 

Suguru complains, but Satoru’s arm around him stands firm. 

“But what if you’re legs are shaky, and - ” 

Suguru rolls his eyes. Yes, he’s a bit shaky after getting fucked in a cramped little booth like that, but he’s fine. Also it’s hypocritical of Satoru to act all concerned now when they both know he’ll be doing much worse when they get home. 

“I have to tell the girls that I’m leaving, and I - ” 

“But do you have to? If I came here without telling Yuuta, you can leave without telling them and - ” 

“You left my student all alone in Hokkaido over a booty call? How dare you!” 

“It’s alright, he’s there with my great-uncles, they’re all trying to set him up with their nieces and -” 

“Suguru?” 

Shoko’s makes both of them turn around.

“Hey Shoko!” Satoru’s unnaturally perky and flushed, and waves at her. Shoko waves back, raises her eyebrows. Turns to Suguru. 

“So I take it that you’ll be leaving early.” 

“Yeaaaah.” 

“Hmmmm,” she nods but doesn’t say anything, then turns to Satoru, “Can you pay for our drinks? Bouncer let us in for free because Mei Mei’s fucking Utahime, but Utahime called about the booze and she’s said she’s not giving us free drinks too. That’s too many freebies.” 

Satoru would normally complain, but maybe the random little quickie put him in a good mood because he takes out his wallet and just gives Shoko all the bills he’s got in it. At first she’s shocked, and then just laughs as she looks at the money. 

“You’re really that desperate to leave here, huh? Fine, I guess. Have fun - I’ll tell Uta you’re off!”

It’s actually so embarrassing how in each other’s pockets they all are. Jujutsu society is small and almost incestuous in how they know everything about each other. Everyone’s gonna know they’re finally fucking in a matter of hours, because Shoko is gonna tell Utahime and Utahime is gonna tell Mei  Mei and they’re gonna be THE subject of gossip between sorcerer and auxiliary managers alike from at least a week - Suguru worries about it for approximately five minutes before Satoru kisses him again. 

“Let me take you home already.” 

Isn’t this what you always wanted? 

He hasn’t been to Satoru’s apartment before, Satoru himself hardly lives there at all, and it shows. The place is too neat and tidy, decorated like something out of an interior design magazine. Sterile environment. 

“Do you want something to eat? Drink?” 

Satoru opens the fridge and then realizes there’s almost nothing there, just old containers of takeout, half a cabbage, bacon, some eggs. Bottles of kewpie mayo in various stages of consumption. 

“I never eat here, actually. I always eat out.” Satoru says it sheepishly, like he’s a little ashamed of it. 

Suguru cocks his hip and shakes his head. Endeared. 

“But do you know how to cook?” 

“I do . I’m not brilliant but I can keep myself fed if need be.” 

“Really? You never cease to surprise me.” 

“Oh, come on Suguru, it’s not hard to cook. Just follow instructions!” Satoru’s smile is a little dopey and very charming, and Suguru has half a second vision of him and Satoru bumping elbows in the kitchen.

Instead of allowing nostalgia and longing to take root, he opts for giving into his more basic instincts. Suguru walks over to Satoru, puts his hand on his chest and looks at him through his lashes. 

Satoru’s so hooked on him, looks at Suguru’s mouth and his pupils dilate. 

“I don’t want food, Satoru. I want you” 

“Fuck, let’s go.”

They end up stumbling and kissing in Satoru’s furniture-showroom bedroom, and Suguru pushes him onto the bed and takes off his jeans as fast as he can. Pushes Satoru‘s shirt up, hands flat on his abs, pulls his pants down his thighs and Satoru’s cock bobs up to greet him. 

“I wanna be on top,” Suguru announces as he throws his thigh over Satoru’s hips

He rides Satoru until his thighs burn from exhaustion. Figures out that if he does it slow and deep, he can keep Satoru going from one orgasm to the other without overstimulating him, dick still sitting snug as Suguru fucks himself on it. Just keep going, and get filled up with load after load, until his hole feels sloppy wet and he’s finally satisfied. 

Suguru isn't a pillow princess, he just rarely wants dick desperately enough to ride it. He’s also not strictly a bottom, but he’s been pining for Satoru’s cock in particular for so long, it’s turning him desperate, extra slutty, and horny in ways he hasn’t experienced before

Suguru collapses on the bed next to Satoru, thoroughly exhausted, damp hair sticking to his shoulders and chest, panting. Satoru just sits in the position Suguru left him in, faint sheen on sweat making his skin glow, blotchy red face and shiny eyes. Turns to Suguru and smiles, reaching to push his bangs out of his face. 

“I’m drained in ways I didn’t think possible,” Satoru laughs, “Are you always this insatiable?”

“Sometimes.” 

Satoru frowns, closes his eyes and shakes his head.

“I’m jealous of whoever got to experience it before me,” he confesses. 

Suguru feels a pang in his chest - yeah. Same . 

Satoru wants to bridal-carry him to the shower but that’s a little too much for Suguru. He really can’t afford to let Satoru pull stunts like that with him, not since the situation with them is already so complicated by all the years in between. 

But it can be easy - Suguru tells himself for half a second before shaking his head. Nothing in his life has ever been easy, nothing has ever been this easy so giving into the lull of life with Satoru just feels like building time before it’s yanked out from under him, one way or another. 

Whatever depressive musing he has ends up being cut short by Satoru, who's circling Suguru’s hole with his fingers, playing with the rim of him. 

“Satoruuu - what are you doing?”

“Nothing, nothing, I’m just playing - ” he’s got one of those rainfall overhead showers, and it feels amazing, and Satoru kisses his shoulder and he back of his neck as his fingers dip inside, “Can I?” 

Suguru has to brace himself with his forearm against the expensive shower tiles - he’s too drained to enjoy it and overly sensitive, but there’s something electric sparking in the pleasure-pain of sensation. 

“Satoru, Satoru, Satoru.” 

His moans echo mercilessly. 

It’s early morning and the sun is starting to peak over the Tokyo skyline - still just purple, tinges of blue on the edges. It’s 5 AM and Suguru’s wearing Satoru’s old clothes, while Satoru’s proving he can cook by chopping up that one old cabbage with the bacon and making okonomyiake. 

“I swear I have some bonito flakes around here somewhere,” he says, rummaging through the pantry shirtless while the ingredients cook. 

“It’s okay, I’ll just put extra mayo on it.” 

“No, no, it’s here, it’s - Ta-da!!!” 

Satoru manages to find a little bag of bonito flakes hidden somewhere in the back of the pantry, behind all the different bags of tea and instant coffee. Nutella jars in various sizes, mozart balls and unopened bottles of fancy oils. 

Satoru flips the okonomyiake on a big chopping board, puts mayo on it, sprinkles it with the bonito flakes before cutting it and setting it in front of Suguru. He takes a piece with his chopsticks, slightly uncertain. Chews on it delicately while Satoru stares at him expectantly. 

“Well, it’s edible,” he says. 

“Oh come on. Edible. It’s good!” 

Suguru smirks at how insulted he sounds. 

“Competently made.” 

Satoru huffs. 

“Well excuse me, I had no idea I would be home today at all. I was expecting to come home tomorrow from Hokkaido, and then I would go to the Gojo compound with Yuuta.”

When he starts eating, Suguru realizes he’s hungrier than he thought. Uncharacteristically, ends up eating more than Satoru. A novelty, because Satoru ends up staring at him too. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you actually hungry. Ever.” 

Suguru shrugs, licks mayo and okomiyaki sauce off his lips, looking away. 

“Curses make it hard to eat. You’re rarely hungry when your stomach is always sick. And I smoke, which cuts into my appetite even more,” he explains, feeling generous with information that he usually keeps guarded, “Usually I just set certain times to eat to get in all my macros so I don’t lose weight.” 

Satoru looks surprised, like this is some sort of new information, but he manages to school his face quickly. Maybe in a way it is - Suguru cannot remember a time when he was open with his struggles. 

“I think I probably knew you struggled with things like this, I just never - ” 

If you never give someone a map to a location, you can’t expect them to find a prize just based on vibes and general directions. 

“I never told you. Not your fault.” 

“Should have dug deeper.”  

“Maybe, but - ” Suguru runs his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t want both of them to fall into the trap of what ifs, “It doesn’t matter, Satoru. Sometimes I ask myself, maybe if you would have asked the right questions…but the truth is, I don't know how I would have reacted. I didn’t like being open.” 

He gets up from his seat, takes his cigarettes and puts one between his teeth. Goes to the balcony door, but before walking outside, he motions for Satoru to follow him. 

“I guess I just wish I would have tried something else too.” 

Sure, Suguru wants that too, thinking about it. Try different ways to get close, break the distance, bridge the gaps. 

Satoru’s apartment is high up, and the view is amazing. Compared to his shitty little place, it’s like being in a music video. And Suguru’s feeling good - all sore in the right places, and content like a cat, morning wind blowing in his hair. He doesn’t feel like being depressed. 

“Hey, speaking of try. Do you wanna try something out with me?” 

“Hmmm?” 

Suguru takes the cigarette from between his teeth and taps it against Satoru’s lips. 

“I’m gonna teach you to smoke.” 

“Aren’t I a little old for this shit? I thought that this was the sort of thing you started early.” 

Suguru grins - remembers that he started smoking when Mei Mei and Shoko taught him how. Shoko held her cigarette to his lips and Mei Mei’s hand on his chest, saying “you have to breathe through here."

It really was just a way to flirt with him, and knew it back them too.

 Kinda always regretted not using it on Satoru. 

“Look, let me show you,” - Suguru lights up the cigarette, takes a smoke out of it, puts it between Satoru’s lips and then drags his palm down the middles of his chest,  “Breathe through here,” he says, and when Satoru does as he’s told, he caresses lower, “Don’t keep it in your mouth though, let it slide down your throat,” he smirks as he says it, and then presses against Satoru’s abdomen - “Now exhale." 

With the early morning sun making his hair shine, Satoru looks like a dragon with smoke coming out his mouth. The illusion is maintained for a half second before he coughs, but it’s a half second captured in Suguru’s memory forever. 

“Those still taste nasty,” Satoru complains, making a face.

“Yeah,” Suguru grins as he agrees, and puts his chin on Satoru’s shoulder, “I always wanted to do that.” 

“Corrupt me into bad habits?” 

“Hmmhmmm, I should have done it in school.” 

“It’s alright, I think you can keep this one bad habit to yourself, I got my own.”  

Suguru feels too good and relaxed not to tease him. 

“Yes, but you don’t have an oral fixation. Maybe if I had worked on it when we were in school, you wouldn’t say stuff like “ I never wanted to put my mouth on a dick.” ” 

Satoru looks at him and gapes, remembering their previous conversation.

“You know what? Let’s go.”

“ What - ? Satoru!"

Satoru picks him up and takes him inside, lays him down on the kitchen island next to the chopping boards and the knives. He’s grumbling something about Suguru being ungrateful for his performance, and Suguru can’t help but giggle throughout it, even as Satoru takes off his boxers and forces his legs open. 

“Oh no, I’m being ravished!” he says dramatically, laughing as he puts a hand on his forehead and pretends to swoon.

“Ship up, I’m trying to concentrate,” Satoru says, head between Suguru’s legs, rubbing his cheek against the inside of his thighs. “I’ve never done this before.” 

Suguru wants to laugh and bash his head against a wall a little. 

“Nervous?”

“Maybe.” 

Suguru chuckles. Closes his legs to smush Satoru’s cheeks between his thighs, forcing his mouth into a pout. 

“You don’t have to, you know. I’m just teasing -“ he really is. Getting his dick sucked is rarely a thing he craves, it’s only really fun if the other person is into it too, and it requires a level of letting go free fall that he’s not a super fan of. 

“I know,” Satoru’s got this determined set to his brows that Suguru hasn’t seen in ages, like when he used to get hyperfixated on some game and wanted to complete all the levels in one night, or when he focused on a mission extra hard, “I want to, though. Because it’s you, so I want to. But you’ll have to tell me -“ 

Suguru thinks he’s being sincere and not just doing it for his sake, so - 

Alright. 

He’s curious about how this will play out. If Satoru’s completely terrible at it, he’ll just have a lot of teasing material for the future.

With that in mind, Suguru smiles, traces the line of Satoru’s lips with his fingers. He really does have a nice mouth, Suguru thinks, appreciatively. Satoru’s lips are plump and pink, an expressive sort of mouth that’s both sensuous and mean. Suguru pushes his fingers between his lips, making him open his mouth on instinct. 

“I’ll show you - start by licking it - ” 

Satoru isn’t the kind of person that would ever do what he’s told, but he does this time, without protest. Sends a shiver down his spine.

And he wasn’t horny before, not really, but he’s horny now because Satoru, of all people, wants to learn how to give a blowjob at his big age. Feels like one of those steps they should have done ten years ago, but better late than never. 

“You can just take the head in your mouth, don’t go too fast, and - ahh ” 

Satoru’s always been a natural at everything he ever did, and while he’s not perfect at dick sucking - it’s better than he expected it to be! 

Suguru’s dick isn’t small, he’s a little over average if he’s being honest. Whenever he has to use it, people are decently satisfied with it. 

“Try to be steady with it, keep the same rhythm and - “ 

Satoru gags on it once but doesn’t pull away. He does it slowly, taking him in his mouth about halfway, swirling his tongue around the head once. Suguru relaxes slowly, keeping his hips still and running his fingers through soft, fluffy white hair. Doesn’t grip. 

“ Satoru ,” he makes sure to moan a lot, drags out his rrrrr for him. Men need that sort of encouragement, and Suguru knows from experience it fucking sucks to try pleasuring someone like that and having to deal with a rock, so he makes noise. 

At that point, well, Satoru decides he’s finally got the hang of it enough that he can multitask, and sneaks his fingers between Suguru’s ass cheeks, pushing inside. Curling his fingers to play with his prostate as he sucks him, and Suguru’s moan is more genuine this time. Stimulation from both ends has him all shaky, on edge faster than he expects. 

“Satoru, I’m gonna cum, I’m -“ 

It's only polite to warn someone before you cum in their mouth. Satoru lets him, keeps fingering him slowly until he finishes, only makes a face after he pulls away and swallows. Takes a glass of water and still has his nose crinkles. 

“How do you make that look so sexy? Cum tastes foul.” 

Suguru’s a little dazed, looking at the ceiling and he catches his breath, legs dangling off the kitchen island. Giggles as he turns to Satoru’s face. 

“It’s not that bad. I’ve had worse.” 

“I suppose the bar with you is low.” 

Suguru laughs, feeling lighter than ever. He rises on his elbows, makes a come-hither motion with his finger. 

“Come here, you.” 

And Satoru does, bends down to kiss Suguru. No hesitation. 

It's around 10 in the morning when Yuuta calls, desperately asking Satoru where he is because one of his great uncles has six grand-daughters and he started parading them in front of Yuuta.

“I can’t do this, he said he can bring me some boys if I prefer that.” 

Satoru’s too busy running his fingers through Suguru’s hair. 

“Well, do you? It’s alright if you do, just tell them to recalibrate. If you like both, they’ll bring you both.” 

“Please save me, I don’t wanna get married to your cousins.” 

“Wouldn’t let you anyways. That side of the family has a weak chin and receding hairline, my grandma wouldn’t let us marry ugly.” 

“I’m being serious! Gojo-san !!!” 

“Well me too! We need fresh blood in the family so please look into hooking up with one of the Zenins or something. They’re usually better looking.”

Suguru knows Satoru is joking, and that he is just having some fun with someone else being on the receiving end of the marriage proposals, but he still elbows him in the ribs. Poor Yuuta. 

“ You’re useless, Gojo-san! ” 

He accuses before hanging up.

“So I take it that your presence is needed elsewhere,” Suguru says, and Satoru sighs as he gets out of bed.

“Unfortunately, I can’t let Yuuta get completely overwhelmed by my folks,” Satoru says as he starts to get dressed. 

He’s got scratch marks all over his back, courtesy of Suguru. 

“When can I see you again?” Satoru asks, “Are you free next week?” 

“I’m never free, you know. I’m a teacher, it’s constant work, but next week I already have an out of town mission with the students that I need to take care of” 

Satoru pouts, arms crossed over his chest. The wide sleeves of his haori expose his thick forearms. 

He fucked Suguru prone bone and caged him between his arms, and Suguru bit into the muscle there. There's a little bruise forming.

Satoru could just cure them away. He just makes a special effort not to. Apparently he likes the little post-fuck reminders. 

“What mission? Can I come?” 

“It’s not super interesting for you, it’s more like a field trip. Education Easter Egg hunt, we’re gathering cursed artifacts for the collection.”

“Yeah? Where are you going and what are you collecting?” 

Satoru’s mildly curious, so Suguru tells him. 

“I’m going with Megumi and the twins to Sendai to get them out of the house a little. We’re collecting Sukuna’s fingers.”

Yeah. Should be easy enough, right?