Chapter Text
This apology tour fucking sucked.
Itachi had officially arranged his affairs and was starting on the long list of people he needed to have conversations with that he absolutely didn’t want to have.
Sasuke was at the top of the list. They had exchanged brief texts and through Naruto’s unprompted advice and encouragement, Itachi had set up a meeting.
However, it made much more sense to have this meeting in person and after bouncing ideas off of Naruto and Kakashi, Itachi had decided to take Sasuke to The Puppet Shop, which sounded a lot more unsettling than it was.
The Puppet Shop was a claustrophobic maze of a music shop that was run by Sasori, who was the Akatsuki’s favorite jack of all trades. With an innate gift for both acoustics and mechanics, he could flawlessly execute anything that was asked of him. Kisame had proved that while they continuously tweaked Samehada.
Though Sasori’s specialty was the repair, modification and customization of any instrument under the sun, he could find literally anything if you needed it. Musical or not. He came from a large fortune that he rarely spoke of with a distant look and even further removed words. All that Itachi had gathered was that his family made brilliant strides in the robotics industry and they had profited greatly from it. When asked, Sasori’s serene, vacant expression twisted into disgust.
“There’s no beauty in my relatives’ shoddy machinery,” he would spit.
It was one of the few times Sasori’s genuine nature was revealed, it did not match his cherub-like face.
Itachi rarely interacted with him if he could help it and Sasori never went out of his way to speak to anyone. They shared a kinship in the way they decided to leave their families to start fresh but Sasori had no regrets and merely animosity for where he came from. Itachi was simply filled with a crippling grief and anxiety.
Luckily, Sasori was actually quite hard to find within his shop. Typically, he was hidden in his workshop deep in the labyrinth of things he had created which lined the shelves. This left the actual counter to be manned by a stray member of the Akatsuki or Konan who was at the top of the short list of people Sasori tolerated.
Though, as long as he remained unbothered, anyone Konan deemed okay or did business with the shop got free reign, which meant Itachi and the Akatsuki had free access to one of the many practice rooms also hidden within the giant shop.
But since the shop was Kisame’s favorite place to kill time, he had to reach out to him first… which Itachi was dreading.
‘Samehada was damaged irreparably by your hand’
The psychiatrist’s words kept echoing in his head and it was why he hadn’t been able to bring himself to reach out to Kisame. Itachi knew what that guitar meant to him. How it was a product of years of scavenging odds and ends to make something so unique and so tailored to his odd friend that no one could ever imagine him with another guitar.
And Itachi demolished it.
No matter what was said to him. He never should have done that. Not to mention, Hidan was the one who antagonized Itachi in the first place.
And while Itachi knew Kisame wanted to talk through Naruto trying his best to casually suggest that he should reach out, Itachi just felt so fucking guilty.
He deserved to be hated for that one.
Add Kisame to the list of people who were better off without him.
Scratch that. Itachi wasn’t supposed to be thinking like that anymore. His therapist told him so, even if his brain was screaming it at him.
With a tired sigh, Itachi tried to rub the thought out of his temples.
Moving on, next on the apology list was Hidan. Itachi was going to apologize to him to be polite and nothing more. Not even a fractured collarbone would stop Hidan from being a complete and total bastard down to his bones. The singer would be much more agreeable with Itachi if he at least said the words. It didn’t matter to Hidan if Itachi meant it. Just the act of submitting himself in order to give the egoist an apology would suffice.
All of that talking just to meet with his brother, who, Itachi believed, barely wanted to speak to him at all. It was taking everything in him not to back out because Sasuke was on the very top of the list of people who Itachi believed were better off without him. Sasuke had always been so good. That innocent, happy kid brother of his didn’t deserve being marred by the black mark of Itachi’s trauma.
‘That’s not true, not everything you touch becomes tainted,’ Itachi could hear in his therapist’s voice.
He scoffed to himself. In theory, that was true but it was just so hard for Itachi to believe. All this forgiveness business was not easy. Not at all.
Reaching out to Sasuke felt so self-serving. Itachi was torn between desperately wanting to reconnect with Sasuke and the belief that nothing good would come of him being dragged into Itachi’s mental hell-scape.
But Naruto was so excited for Itachi so if he backed out he would feel guilty about that too.
A drink could remedy that guilt, it had for years.
Itachi inwardly groaned, acutely aware and sick of his own shit. He propped his head up at Eddie who was on the dining room table in front of him and his book that was supposed to distract him.
He quirked an eyebrow at the bird as if she would be able to answer his dilemma.
As if reading his mind, Eddie pecked at his phone.
With a glare, Itachi swiped his phone from her and sent a text to Kisame.
——
The next day Kisame arrived at the Puppet Shop at 9 am sharp. Itachi was supposed to meet him at 10:00, which was impressive for him, since on tour Kisame realized Itachi rarely fell asleep before 4.
There had been too many nights of Kisame almost asking Sasori for his best sleeping pills just to make Itachi turn his stupid light off and go the fuck to sleep.
Maybe he finally got something that would help. Kisame’s chest felt a little lighter at that thought.
Until Itachi came, Kisame found himself with Sasori, who was helping him collect parts for a new custom guitar.
Unsurprisingly, Sasori was in his workshop already working. His presence was calm yet still unsettling to Kisame, which was saying something considering Kisame’s hulking frame and Sasori’s much slighter one.
Most of the time Sasori’s serene face remained unchanging, perfectly set by Botox that was so well done no one noticed he even had it until they watched his face twist in disgust and it did not move the way it should. Konan even swore he wore a wig but no one dared to ask.
“Makes sense,” she would shrug, “he wants nothing less than perfection.”
Sometimes it seemed he wanted it so bad there was nothing real about Sasori anymore. Deidara liked to call him the Wizard because he was the man who pulled the strings behind the curtain just like the Wizard of Oz.
“Disappointing about Itachi,” Sasori mumbled as Kisame entered.
Sasori slid his hand down the coarse wire of an E string as he strung the bass in front of him, which Kisame recognized as Kazuku’s.
Kisame scoffed.
“I would have thought he had more regard for my pieces,” Sasori said flatly, his unreadable stare leveling Kisame.
“He’s been going through some shit,”
“And lost all semblance of self-control. I heard it was… messy.”
Kisame almost growled. Sasori had such a niche way of sounding so aloof but so patronizing at the same time.
“What’d you hear from Hidan?”
Sasori made a face of distaste as he continued to work on the guitar in front of him, “he came with Kazuku and, if you remember, is no longer permitted to step foot in this room lest he would like to be choked out by the wire of his own microphone.”
“Can’t imagine you were too upset to see his fractured collarbone, courtesy of Itachi.”
Once again Sasori frowned but an odd satisfaction danced in his eyes, “so fragile.”
Kisame glared, unsure if Sasori was talking about Hidan or Itachi, “He’s coming by today. Bringing his little brother… and Naruto.”
The remark seemed not to phase Sasori, even when it was indicated that Naruto was not the little brother who was mentioned first.
“Send Naruto to me. I have the new strings requested by his bandmates,”
“They’re rehearsing, they’ll be here.”
Sasori slightly shook his head, eyes never leaving his work, “One band member is a sufficient enough contact.”
Before Kisame could challenge him he spoke again, “Meaning The Akastuki is on thin ice.”
Kisame laughed, knowing full well Sasori would never get rid of them considering how much business they gave him.
As Sasori finished stringing the bass in front of him he rose and beckoned Kisame.
“I got a new piece in. Originally for Samehada but it will work for the new build.”
Sasori opened a small apothecary cupboard filled with odds and ends for instruments and pulled out a small box, which was lined with black velvet when he opened it.
Kisame grinned.
Inside was an off-white saddle, the piece of the guitar that held the strings off the frets before they were wound into the machine heads. The divots where the strings would fall were tinted bright red with ink as well as the carving that decorated the tiny piece, giving the piece an almost bloodstained look through scrimshaw.
“Ivory. I carved it myself,” Sasori explained.
“Do I want to know how you even got it?” Kisame asked with a raised eyebrow.
Sasori shrugged, “Regardless of where it came from, it will be part of a masterpiece.”
A disembodied chime rang through the shop and Kisame looked down at his watch to find it was 9:45, meaning It was most likely Itachi walking through the door.
“You need anything else from me this morning?” Kisame asked.
“No.”
—-
Naruto could feel Itachi vibrating with anxiety and with the way his knee was bouncing so could a very unhappy crow.
“Did you take your meds?” He asked with a glance.
Itachi bit at his lip. As if reading Naruto’s mind, Eddie nipped at Itachi’s finger.
However, Naruto held back a sigh. He loved Itachi dearly and he knew that he would do anything for Naruto, however Itachi had literally no idea how to advocate for himself. Itachi opted to busy himself with trying to help others instead, as children it mostly meant Naruto through his complicated childhood.
For the longest time Naruto held off saying something. A large part because Naruto was so preoccupied with his own issues that Itachi could hide his own quite well. Until, Naruto started to find holes in Itachi’s facade. Itachi did very well when he was told to do something, had an unconscious need to be of service, which paired well with the way Naruto demanded his attention… It took Naruto a bit of time to piece this together despite clinging to him as a kid but Itachi would literally never take an action to benefit himself. However he would do it if he knew it would benefit someone else. And lucky for Itachi, Naruto was pushy. Naruto realized Itachi needed pushy and Naruto needed Itachi.
It was a concerning little cycle that broke when Itachi went on tour. Naruto wasn’t there to guilt him into taking care of himself.
Naruto wouldn’t let that happen again. He refused to lose Itachi, the thought of it utterly terrified him. So much so that when he started to hear Itachi’s slurred words on the other end of the line during his tours, Naruto would wake up to panic attacks and occasionally have nightmares.
But Itachi could never know that. Naruto had no desire to make him feel even worse so he would continue to keep an eye out for him and help Itachi be okay. It would give Naruto peace.
While keeping his eyes on the road, Naruto opened up the console and pulled out a small bottle of his own anxiety meds, prescribed as needed.
“Here. Take a half of mine, it’ll take that pressure out of your chest,”
“I don’t-'' Itachi tried to protest.
“Chi chi, you look like you’re about to pass out and your leg hasn’t stopped bouncing since we got in the car,” Naruto replied, cutting him off, “there should be one I cut already.”
Eddie crowed in what seemed to be agreement.
Itachi frowned and nodded, twisting open the cap of the small bottle. Out of the corner of his eye Naruto saw Itachi reading over the prescription label but he didn’t say anything and instead fished out half of a pill.
Naruto handed him his water.
He knew Itachi remembered what his prescription was. Naruto had had it for years and, when he was still young, Itachi would often come with him to pick it up. He would make sure the dosage was the correct one since the pharmacies were notorious for fucking it up and with the small print, Naruto sometimes mixed up the numbers. Though, it had been a very long time since he truly needed Itachi or Kakashi to double check it.
But that meant Itachi had noticed that the prescription was significantly higher than before.
Naruto wasn’t going to mention it if Itachi didn’t.
As they pulled into the parking lot, Naruto noticed the color coming back into Itachi’s cheeks.
He put the car into park and turned to Itachi, “alright, if you need anything, you know where to find me. I’ll be in the rehearsal rooms… or if you just wanna visit, though I think I put off your brother forever.”
Itachi raised an eyebrow.
“He only softened up when I mentioned you.”
Itachi’s brow furrowed. That didn’t sound like Sasuke… The kid he remembered was quite stubborn but eager. Always hanging around Itachi and Shisui, begging them to let him join them.
“Either way, he wouldn’t come if he didn’t want to,”
Itachi hummed in acknowledgement. It would be interesting to see who Sasuke was compared to Itachi’s memory of his little brother. If his parents had the same hold they had had on Itachi when he was growing up, that memory of a sweet kid, fascinated by everything around him would have probably changed but Itachi hoped that wasn’t the case.
However, Itachi nodded and Naruto grinned while he held his hand out for a fist bump, “it’s gonna be awkward but it’ll be great.”
“Awkward but great,” Itachi mumbled like he was repeating a mantra.
He deftly unzipped Eddie’s carrier and placed her on his shoulder, very thankful for the bird’s weight to keep him grounded.
-
The two, or three if you count the bird, of them walked into the shop with Naruto in the lead.
His bandmates had already arrived since he spotted their cars in the driveway before they got in. Sasuke was not since Itachi had decided he would speak to Kisame first.
Naruto beamed at Konan as he ambled through the door.
“Long time no see!”
“A pleasure as always,” came the quiet reply from the blue-haired woman, “Naruto, your band is practice room 2 and Itachi, Kisame is coming up from the workshop. And… who is this?”
Eddie cooed as Itachi gently pet her on his shoulder. She hopped onto his knuckles and he set her down in front of Konan.
“Konan, meet Eddie. She’s quite friendly.”
“And Itachi’s new best friend.”
Naruto flashed itachi a reassuring smile and a double thumbs-up, then the universal sign for ‘call me’ with the over exaggerated mouthing of “if you need”. He then disappeared into the bowels of The Puppet Shop.
Naruto's concern was equally comforting and infuriating.
For the longest time, it was Itachi who took care of Naruto.
And now? Well, it really just seemed like they traded who could hide their tells better.
Itachi fretted some more while Konan was busy with Eddie but Itachi’s train of thought was cut short by heavy steps coming up from the basement level.
“Look who's back from the dead,” Kisame mused, the normal chipper tone coming off much more icy than usual.
“Resurrected sober,” Itachi quipped back, flatly.
Kisame made an impressed face that didn’t quite feel genuine.
In return, Itachi flipped him another chip.
“90 days… Congrats. What else you got to show for it?”? Kisame pressed.
It was bizarre. All of their interactions were slightly on edge. Energy buzzed between them but neither of them could quite put a finger on what it was. It seemed to change constantly.
“A bird,” Itachi deadpanned, gesturing to Eddie on the table.
Not even Kisame could hold back the absurdity of that remark and he cackled, spooking Eddie back toward Itachi.
At that moment, Kisame traded a look with Konan who quietly left the room.
“You look a lot better,” Kisame noted with a reserved tone, “you feel better?”
Itachi busied himself with petting Eddie, “No.”
An awkward silence hung before Itachi added, “physically, yes.”
Kisame simply stared, waiting for Itachi to say what he needed to because there was no forcing it out of him.
“I don’t think I can forgive myself for destroying Samehada… can’t even imagine you would,” Itachi finally caved, bringing his eyes to meet Kisame.
“Thought a lot about it over the last couple months. I’m still pissed but I don’t think I ever would have let that guitar go if you didn’t shatter it.”
Itachi flinched at the word shatter.
“I’m too old to be angry. That’s what Hidan’s job is in this band, which I actually like being in. Believe it or not,” Kisame shrugged.
“I’m sorry,” Itachi still quietly pressed.
“I’m not accepting your apology yet. You still owe me.”
…
Sasuke was nervous as hell leading up to this meeting and inches away from biting the head off of anyone he talked to.
He did everything he could to distract himself. Especially the night before, However the rabbit hole he decided to descend down probably was a terrible idea.
He had gone and planted himself in front of his computer with a mug of tea, opened up YouTube and typed in ‘Jinchagae’. The band from the album Itachi had left him.
He watched about 5 music videos and then 5 concert videos that spiked his adrenaline in an oddly cathartic way before it started to really become a rabbit hole. In the recommended section, some music gossip channel had a video titled ‘Jinchagae’s Tragic Tail! The End of An Era!’
And it was late enough that Sasuke decided this video was a good idea.
When the video started, Sasuke was simultaneously reading over notes from his father but 15 seconds into the video he stopped dead.
The video had started with a small introduction of the band and their music before getting into the nasty details that the video was truly about.
‘In 2006, Jinchagae’s leading lady, Kushina Uzumaki and her husband, the band’s lead guitarist, Minato Namikaze, were brutally murdered by a superfan of the band.’
Sasuke finally realized where he had heard the name Uzumaki. He wasn’t sure how much was fact coming from the over enthusiastic man sitting in a gamer chair explaining this tragic story but Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to turn the video off.
‘Sources say the fan believed himself to be Kurama, the fictional fox made legend in the stories and lyrics wound throughout Jinchagae’s albums. The man was so entrenched in the lore that his legal name was changed! Talk about commitment!’
Oh, that made Sasuke’s stomach turn. He was right he had heard the name Uzumaki. His parents used this story to scare him when he was little.
“Don’t trust that horrid counterculture, Sasuke. You’ll end up like that ridiculous band your brother liked. Murdered by your own creation. They should have known better. They got themselves killed.”
When Sasuke was a kid he believed that. His parents were always right. Why write violent lyrics like that? The world was a dangerous place. It was like they were inviting it. It’s not like Sasuke ever listened to the lyrics to see if what his parents said were true. He trusted them.
‘According to police reports, Kurama found his way onto the tour bus and hid until they returned, only to be met by the son of Kushina and Minato.
The only reports of what was said on that bus are from that child whose name and whereabouts to this day are kept sealed in police records as is his report of what happened on that bus.
Though between you and me, I’ve heard there are rumors about where he is all these years later!’
The commentator winked, and Sasuke grimaced.
Was Naruto really related to that Uzumaki? Was that who Itachi had been living with all these years? And why the fuck would Naruto give Sasuke his real name.
‘From the police report, recording the aftermath, Minato and Kushina were ran through with a Japanese katana after bargaining with the man to let their son go.’
In a shitty, spinning power point transition, press photos appeared on the screen along with a headline. The photo was a wide shot of a masked man carrying a child, the only visible distinguishing feature being his bright blonde hair.
Next to spin onto the screen were the photos of the crime scene. Sasuke immediately shut his computer.
Uneasiness welled up in his chest. His parent’s warnings about the world outside of theirs echoing in his mind.
‘That kid will end up just as messed up as the rabid fan who killed his parents. How could they raised a kid surrounded by that evil culture?’
When Sasuke was younger and his parents brought their favorite scary story up to caution him, he always found himself thinking of that Uzumaki kid.
At first, he would picture that faceless blond tucked into the masked man’s arms. Then his parents would continue to lecture and that image twisted into the stereotypical mental image of everyone Sasuke’s parents deemed ‘bad’. Tattooed, dyed black hair, an ugly sneer meant to challenge anyone who approached.
But both of those images were completely incorrect. Honestly, Sasuke himself fit that description more than Naruto did.
And Sasuke’s curiosity was piqued even further. This rabbit hole was the one thing that stopped him from cancelling on Itachi all together because he had been thinking about doing that since they organized the damn meeting.
If Naruto was who he thought, Sasuke was baffled by the vibe he gave off when they last met. It was so incredibly warm.
Sasuke couldn’t help but think that Naruto had to be the reason Itachi changed his mind all these years. After all, there had to be a concrete reason why he was reaching out. Things like that didn’t just spontaneously happen.
But if all that was true?
Then it meant Sasuke’s parents were wrong. After all these years of living by their rules… that ivory tower he lived in would topple.
Suddenly, anxiety quickly turned to anger and overwhelmed Sasuke. How the fuck could this blonde ball of sunshine exist?! How could he just shrug off everything?! After everything he’d been through, there had to be something wrong with him! And there was obviously something wrong with Itachi!
But… When Naruto started talking to Sasuke it was like he didn’t have a care in the world… His only moments of stress were tied to Itachi.
All of Sasuke’s nerves about seeing Itachi were redirected and funneled into this frustration. He had to find out more. He was finally going to see what his brother had been doing all this time and now, somehow he also needed to know what Naruto had been doing all this time. He needed to know that his parents were right. That it was fine that he stayed in his ivory tower. That the world was no good and he hadn’t missed anything by being terrified to disobey his parents to be apart of it.