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Chapter Text

Part 1

Chapter 1

Anyone who knows Even knows he’s a romantic at heart, but up until this moment he would have scoffed at the notion of love at first sight.  But that was before HE had walked through the door.  He stood there half inside, and half outside the doorway to the inn, like he couldn’t decide whether to stay or leave. He was tall, with a lean but muscular build. Curly golden hair, which was just a bit too long, crawled over the collar of his shirt. His face held the type of beauty that you would expect to see in a painting by Raphael or Michaelangelo, and not at a small-town inn in the Norwegian countryside. Hazel green eyes glanced around the entranceway before landing on Even and widening just the slightest bit.  He had a slightly anxious expression on his face and Even was sorely tempted to walk over and take him into his arms and tell him that everything would be okay.  Their gazes caught and tangled and Even’s cheeks hurt from the broad grin that lit up his face.  The other man returned Even’s stare and a hesitant smile started to tug at the corners of his perfect lips. 

 “Isak! What are you doing just standing there? Did you check us in yet?” A young woman pushed her way around the man in the doorway and broke the spell between them.  She was very pretty and had short brunette hair.  “Ooh! Didn’t I tell you that this would be perfect?” she continued.   “Isn’t this just the cutest? Wait until you see the garden at the back! And the guest rooms are so romantic! And just look at that staircase!” 

At this point, she had made her way fully into the entrance hall.  The modest size room held their small reception desk as well as the hand-carved wooden staircase that was the inn’s pride and joy.  Fresh flowers on the desk and an antique carpet on the floor made the space warm and welcoming.  Even tried to channel that energy as he welcomed the couple, even as his mind scrambled to process what was happening.  He tried to tell himself that it was still possible that his angel was available, but the aching feeling in his chest was already refuting that idea. “Hei, I’m Even.  Welcome to the Heradsbygd Guest House,” Even plastered a fake smile back on his face as he greeted his guests.  “How can I help you?”

“We’re the Valtersens from Oslo.  Well… we’ll be the Vatersens soon enough,” the woman giggled.  “I’m Emma and this is Isak,” she waved a hand towards the man who was still hovering in the doorway.  “I spoke to you on the phone about holding our wedding here, in June.  We’re here to finalize the details.  And spend the weekend, of course.” 

With her words, Even belatedly remembered that they had been expecting an engaged couple to complete their wedding plans.  Sadly he remembered this too late to protect his heart. “Yes, of course. We have been expecting you.  Let me show you to your room.  Do you have luggage?”

“Oh… ah, yes.  It’s out by the car,” Isak’s voice was low and had a bit of a rasp, and Even melted some more.  “I’ll just get it.” 

Emma put her hand on Isak’s arm to stop him, “No, Isak.  Let Even take care of it. That’s his job after all.”  She gestured into the open doorway leading to the small dining room.  The only meal the inn served was breakfast and the dining room was currently empty. “We’ll just wait over at one of those tables.”

Even could see Isak swallow and visibly clench his jaw, but he said nothing to either Even or Emma.  “Okay, then,” Even clapped his hands together,” I’ll just…” And he left the couple while he went outside to get the luggage.  Most of the time Even loved being an innkeeper.  He was able to meet many nice and interesting people, and it gave him plenty of downtime in the off-season to write his webcomic.  But occasionally there were people who were less than pleasant to deal with and he was fearing that Emma was going to fall into that category.  

He found two large rolling bags and a small leather duffle bag sitting next to a silver grey Mercedes.  He briefly wondered which of the two of them had the money, before he grabbed the bags and headed back into the inn.  Even walked back in, to Isak and Emma having a conversation in angry whispers.  They stopped as soon as they saw Even.  Emma gave a very satisfied glance at the luggage that Even was carrying, before standing up and joining Even back in the entrance hall.  

“Your room is just upstairs and to the right.  Room number four, we call it the blue room. After you,” Even set down one of the bags to gesture with his arm that they should proceed him.  Emma took her cue and swept up the stairs briskly.  Isak said nothing, but he grabbed the bag that Even had set down, and started up the stairs after her.  Even sighed and followed them upstairs.  He was glad his angel was considerate, but this was going to be a long weekend.  He could just feel it.  At room four, Even let them inside, “Here is your room.  Breakfast is served in the dining room from seven to ten.  Please let us know if there is anything you need.”

“And we are meeting with you to go over the wedding details tomorrow, correct?” Emma asked.

“Yes,” Even aimed a politely bland smile in her direction.  “We will meet at eleven in the dining room.  And the cake tasting with the bakery is set up for…,” Even pulled out his phone to consult his notes,” three o’clock and then the caterers at five.” 

“Excellent,” Emma’s smile was plastered on her face.

Even risked a look over at Isak but the other man was staring out the window at the street below.  Nonetheless, Even aimed his next comment in his direction, “Dial zero on the phone and you will reach the front desk which will roll over to our office if you need anything.”  He willed the other man to look back at him, but Isak didn’t move.  “Have a pleasant evening.”

__________

Later that night, Even threw himself down on the office couch so hard he let out a little, “oof” and Mikael looked up from his computer.  Mikael raised one eyebrow and waited, knowing that his best friend loved the drama.  

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” Even asked while staring up at the ceiling.

“Oh! So we’re starting with the easy questions tonight,” Mikael laughed.  “Who have you fallen in love with?” 

“I’m not saying that,” Even huffed.  “I’m just asking.”  He blew out a breath that lifted the strands of hair that had fallen onto his forehead.  “Do you think it exists? For anyone? Like one minute you’re fine and the next minute - boom you’re in love!”  

“Was it like that for you and Sonja?” Mikael asked instead of answering the question. 

“Nah. Nothing like that.  Son and I were friends for so long before we dated that I didn't even notice that things had changed until after they had.  It was gradual.  Very gradual,” Even rolled onto his side so that he could look at Mikael.  He didn’t know what to do with these feelings that Isak was stirring up in him. 

“So who is it that you are not in love with?” Mikael asked with a fond smile.  

Even loved working with his best friend, and deciding to take over running the inn from his grandparents was the best decision they had ever made - but sometimes he longed for the anonymity of an office job, where no one could read you like a book.  “You know that engaged couple that’s coming to plan thier wedding this weekend?” 

A puzzled expression covered Mikael’s face.  “Yes,” he said slowly, trying to figure out what information he was missing.  

“I didn’t know that’s who they were when he walked in the door.  I swear to god a shaft of sunlight shone down on him while the angels sang. That is until his fiance walked in after him and it all came crashing down,” Even added with a grimace.

“He’s that pretty?” Mikael asked patiently.  

“Yep,” Even flopped onto his back in resignation. “He’s fucking gorgeous, and so fucking taken it’s not funny. I mean… who falls in love with someone who’s planning their wedding?”  

“Look on the bright side.  You only talked to him for like five minutes, right?” At Even’s nod, Mikael continued,  “Well then, maybe when you get to know him he will turn out to be a real asshole and you will have dodged a bullet.” 

Even turned his head and looked over at his friend with a doubtful expression on his face. “I guess anything’s possible,” he said skeptically. 

“That’s the spirit,” Mikael chuckled.  “Are you headed up soon?” Mikael stood up to leave. Even and Mikael shared the third-floor apartment which was convenient and cost-effective.

“Yeah, in a bit.  I’m gonna check all the outside doors.  Do the rounds,” Even answered. 

_________

Even ended up getting some inspiration and drawing on his tablet until almost two am.  He knew he would be hurting tomorrow, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret the new character he had added to his webcomic.  The one with the golden curls and green eyes.  

Reluctantly he turned off his tablet and left the office.  He checked the front doors and made his way to the back of the building to check the back doors too.  As he got closer to the kitchen, he was startled to see a light on.  Mikael wouldn’t be up this early to do breakfast prep, but maybe they had left the light on earlier.  

As he entered the kitchen, Even saw the man who had been occupying all of his thoughts tonight. Isak was standing with the refrigerator door open and looking inside.  “Can I help you?” Even called out.

“Ack,” Isak gave an undignified squeak and spun around to face Even.  He was wearing a faded t-shirt with some cartoon character that Even didn’t recognize.  The shirt was just on this side of being too small and clung to the muscles of Isak’s chest and showed clear evidence that he worked out regularly.  He also had on a pair of grey joggers that were low-slung, so that a slice of bare skin appeared between his shirt and pants whenever he moved.  “Shit! You startled me,” Isak explained. 

“Did you need anything? The kitchen isn’t really set up for guests,” Even repeated his question as he enjoyed the sight of his angel in his kitchen in the middle of the night.  

“Sorry, ah… I was just… um…,” Isak scrubbed a hand through his curls thoroughly messing them up adorably. He looked away from Even and his eyes darted all around the room. “I, uh… couldn’t sleep.  Sorry.  I was looking for something to eat or drink,” he shrugged slightly, still keeping his eyes off Even.  

“So you decided to break into my kitchen?” Even said in a fake gruff tone, just wanting Isak to look at him again. Even was rewarded when Isak whipped his head up to look straight at Even, eyes wide and mouth dropped open in surprise.  Even let a big smile cover his face, “I’m just shitting with you.” 

Isak relaxed his shoulders and gave a small smile as he joked back, “Asshole.”

Even grinned even wider, “I can get you something to eat. Mikael is the chef around here, but I can cook up a mean cheese toast.  How about that?”

“Sure,” Isak, licked his lips and looked around the room, seemingly nervous again.  

Even busied himself getting out bread and cheese, and a baking sheet. “Why don’t you fill the kettle,” he nodded to the electric kettle on the counter, “that way we can have some tea.  Herbal, of course, so we can sleep after this.”  

“Okay,” Isak moved to fill the kettle and plug it in. 

As he sliced the cheese and arranged them over the slices of bread, Even looked over at Mikael’s spices.  “We should probably spice these up? What do you say?” Even looked over at where Isak was leaning on a counter about eight meters away. “Come over and give me some advice,” he directed hopefully.

“I’m not much of a cook,” Isak shrugged, but he moved closer anyway, and soon he and Even were standing shoulder to shoulder looking at the spice rack.

“What about Herbs de Provence?” Even took the lid off and gave a sniff.  He smiled over at Isak and wiggled an eyebrow. 

“Sure,” Isak nodded.

“What about chili?” Even asked with a smile.

 “Chili,” Isak repeated, “Always, chili.” He smiled back this time.

“Cinnamon?” Even held up the jar just to try to get a laugh from Isak.  

What he got was even better, as Isak giggled and held up the jar of cardamom, “Cardamom too, cardamom always makes things taste better!”  

“What the hell,” Even thought to himself as he added both spices.  Internally, he decided that there wasn’t much that he wouldn’t do to hear Isak laugh like that some more.  

He was rewarded again as Isak giggled some more and declared, “This is going to taste like balls.”  

While the cheese toast baked, Even made them both some Chamomile tea.  Chamomile usually helped him when he couldn’t sleep.  He brought the tea over to a high topped table where he and Mikael sometimes ate.  Then he put the cheese toast on plates and brought that over too.  

“This is disgusting,” Isak said laughing after the first bite.

“It’s truly awful,” Even laughed so hard he could barely swallow the bite he had taken.  

“You can definitely tell neither one of us are chefs,” Isak said laughing even as he took a second bite of their concoction.  

“Mmm,” Even nodded while eating another bite.  “What do you do? For a living, that is?” Even asked. 

“I’m a medical researcher,” Isak paused, and Even nodded encouragingly, so he continued. “Specifically, I’m looking for genetic markers for mental illness.  My mom has schizophrenia, so that has impacted my family. And if there is anything that I could do to make her life easier, I want to do it. But you know it’s very tricky.  We need to make sure that people aren’t discriminated against for their mental illness. And the research needs to be used to help people mitigate or reverse their symptoms.” Isak looked away from Even, “Uh… sorry.  I know I can get carried away sometimes.” 

“Don’t be sorry.  That sounds like fascinating and very important work,” Even reached out impulsively and took Isak’s hand. “It sounds like you really care about doing this research. I’m glad” He gave Isak’s hand a slight squeeze and then dropped it when Isak didn’t squeeze back.  

Isak was frowning slightly like he was working on a puzzle. “What about you? You seem awfully young to be a small town innkeeper.  Aren’t they all seventy-two, or something?” Isak smirked. 

“I grew up in Oslo, and after I finished school I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.  I liked art and drawing, but I didn’t really want to go to university to study art,” Even was interrupted when Isak jumped in.

“Wow, what year were you? I’m a 99er. Let me guess, you went to Bakke, didn’t you? You seem like one of those artsy types” Isak’s eyes were bright and he leaned closer to Even. 

“Ha ha,” Even chuckled, “Yeah, Bakke.  I’m a 97 year, but I ended up doing my third year twice.  How about you?  You probably went to Kuben?” 

“Nope,” Isak popped his p for emphasis, “I went to Nissen.”

“Ooh! Fancy!” Even laughed.  “Any royalty there when you were?” 

“Nah,” Isak blushed and turned away a bit, “But sorry I interrupted.  How did you end up here from Oslo?” 

“My grandparents were thinking of retiring right when I finished school.  I had spent most of my summers up here, and I loved the town.  So when they said they were retiring and wanted to find someone to run the place for them, I offered.  So my best friend, Mikael, and I run the place for my grandparents and we get a percentage of the profits. You’ll meet Mikael tomorrow at breakfast, he’s the chef around here,” Even answered, enjoying how Isak smiled and nodded while he was speaking, but he reluctantly looked down at his watch.  It was now three am, he was having such a good time with Isak that he hadn’t noticed the time.  “Speaking of tomorrow, today actually,” he grimaced.  We should probably clean up and head to bed.  We are serving breakfast in a few hours and then I have to meet with you two.” 

The smile quickly fell from Isak’s face. “Yes, oh yes… of course.  I’m so sorry I kept you up.  I wasn’t thinking,” Isak stood up and started clearing the dishes. 

Even grabbed his arm and stopped his progress, not wanting it to end like this. “It's okay, Isak.  I had a lot of fun.  And hey, we invented a gourmet delicacy,” Even smiled when Isak gave a nervous chuckle and let him go when he pulled away.  “We can load everything in the dishwasher over there.” In no time the kitchen was cleaned up.

“Thanks, Even, thanks for the food and the company,” Isak said quietly with a wistful smile on his face. 

“Your welcome, Isak,” Even answered, letting the other man leave and go upstairs.  Even absently rubbed the left side of his chest where it ached. He was not looking forward to tomorrow's meeting. 

Chapter 2

The meeting with Isak and Emma was just as awkward and uncomfortable as Even had predicted. Isak looked exhausted and refused to meet Even’s gaze.  Isak sat through the entire meeting giving only yes or no answers when directly asked. He gave no opinions or feedback about the wedding.  While Emma, on the other hand, peppered her speech with phrases like “how adorable” and “that's perfect.”  It would have been the easiest wedding he had ever arranged if it weren't for the small fact that he was slightly in love with the groom-to-be. 

“Alright, that’s all the details on my part.  Do you have any questions for me?” Even asked.

“Since most of our friends and family are traveling from Oslo, will you be able to accommodate everyone for that Saturday night?” Emma asked. 

“We have twenty-five rooms at the inn, and they all can accommodate two people.  Because June is our high season, in order to reserve all the rooms for a Saturday night they would need to be booked for both Friday and Saturday night and half of the amount paid upfront.”  Even consulted his phone, “At this point, four months out, we only have one room booked for that night.  So the remaining twenty-four are available. Or we could just book the rooms for you and your wedding party, for Saturday night only.  That would not require prepayment.” 

“No, no. We want the whole inn, don’t we Isak,” Emma continued without waiting for a response.  “My pappa will pay for it, just add it to the amount you are billing us. And will we be staying in the same room that we are in this weekend, on our wedding night?”  

“Er, no,” Even mentally recoiled at the thought of Isak’s wedding night. “We have a larger room that we typically use for wedding couples.  We will set that one aside for you.” 

“Perfect. Can we see it?” Emma asked eagerly.  “I want that night to be perfect, don’t you Isak?” This time she looked over at him and waited.  He gave a small nod with no other change of expression.  

“I’m sorry, that room is booked this weekend.  But we have some photos here in the planning brochure,” Even referred to the brochure already in her hands. “It’s this room here.”  Even looked at his phone again before adding, “we’re about done here, so you have time to get some lunch before your appointment with the bakery.  There are several nice cafes over on that side of the square.”

“That’s great.  Bill everything to my father.  You have his address?” she confirmed with Even. 

“Yes,” Even gathered up the documents.  “Here is your copy of the contract.”  

They left after that and Even went back into the office to collapse on the couch, once again. 

“He’s not an asshole,” he said to Mikael who was once again working at his desk.  “And he seems deeply unhappy.”

“You could tell all that from a wedding planning meeting?” Mikael asked without looking up.  “Or does this have to do with where you were until two o’clock this morning?” 

“We weren't… it wasn’t like that,” Even defended.  “I’m not sleeping with an engaged man, Mik! We just… he couldn’t sleep and I found him in the kitchen looking for a snack.” 

“The kitchen is not available to guests,” Mikael looked over at Even and smiled to take the sting out of his words. 

“I know that. That’s why I’m the one who cooked everything,” Even sat up and smiled happily at the memory of the disgusting cheese toast.

“You know that’s not an improvement, don’t you?” Mikael laughed at Even’s indignant expression, which melted into laughter when he couldn’t hold it for longer than three seconds. “Can you go upstairs and check on how Astrid is doing with the linens?” They hired a couple of secondary school kids part-time, and Astrid was cleaning and prepping the rooms for new guests today.

Even changed into work clothes and went upstairs to check on Astrid and help out cleaning the guest rooms. A while later he was coming out of one of the rooms and bumped, quite literally, into Isak as he was walking down the hallway. “Whoa,” Even said, grabbing onto Isak so that they both didn’t fall down. “What time is it? Aren’t you supposed to be at a cake tasting right now?” 

Isak rubbed at the back of his neck and looked away from Even. “Yeah, I… uh… I told Emma I had a headache and came back here.  She’ll make all the decisions anyway.  I mean… I want her to… I want her to be happy.”  Isak looked around the hallway and then shrugged his shoulders. “I was going to lay down, but now I just feel restless.  Like I’m crawling out of my skin… you know?” He finally looked back at Even, a mixture of sadness and hopefulness clouding his face. 

Even pursed his lips while he was thinking, and then he grabbed Isak’s hand and pulled him down the hallway and back down the stairs, “I know just the place!” He pulled him toward the office, and then let go of Isak’s hand and put his hand on his chest to let him know to stay put while he popped into the open doorway. “Hey, Mik! I’m going out for a bit.  Running some errands.  Okay with you?” Even asked his partner. 

“Sure,” Mikael replied, “See you in a bit.”

Returning with his jacket and a small daypack. They looked a bit like twins now.  Both of them wearing grey hoodies with olive green jackets on top.  Even took Isak’s hand again, Even pulled him down the hallway and towards the back door of the inn. “What?” Isak asked in confusion.

“We’re going. Come on.” When they got outside there was a bright red bike locked to a bike rack. Even handed Isak the daypack, “Put this on.” Even unlocked the bike and threw one leg over the bike and grabbed the handlebars. “Okay, get on,” he looked at the bicycle seat behind him.

“On the bike? With you?” Isak tilted his head and looked back at Even.

“Why so skeptical? Haven’t you ever ridden double before?” Even challenged, laughing at Isak’s expression. 

“Not since Nissen, when trying to dodge the police with my best friend,” Isak laughed and the corners of his eyes crinkled up charmingly.

“Just come on. Unless you’re afraid,” Even taunted with a wide smile.

“Afraid?! Does it look like I’m afraid!” scoffed Isak. “I’m the master of riding bicycles!” He climbed onto the bike seat and grabbed onto the back of the seat with one hand and onto Even’s jacket with the other. 

They headed down the street towards the river.  It was cold with the wind blowing but Even had a huge grin that filled his face and made his eyes almost disappear.  He was filled with so much joy at the moment and he couldn’t explain it except that he was sharing the moment with Isak. After about a mile, he cut over to the left and out to the edge of town.  Then he took a narrow path through the woods that led back towards the river again. 

When he stopped they were in a small clearing.  There was a small old stone building that was boarded up about 10 meters from the river bank.  The trees around them made this space cut off from the wind and also from the view of others.  The front of the building faced south so the stones were warmed by the sun.

Even turned his wide smile on Isak, “We’re here!”  Isak got off and Even let the bike drop to the ground.  “If it was a little warmer we could swim.  This is my favorite spot.”

“Swim!! Even! It’s March!” Isak protested. 

“I said ‘if it was warmer’,” Even chuckled.  Then he took the daypack from Isak and opened it.  He pulled out a ground cloth and set it down in front of the small building. “Let’s sit,” Even pointed to the ground cloth.  

Isak tentatively lowered himself down and leaned against the building. Even joined him and then pulled out a small blanket from the pack and covered their legs.  “What else do you have in that magic pack of yours?” Isak laughed. 

Wiggling his eyes with mischief, Even pulled out a baggie containing a joint and a lighter. He didn’t smoke very often because it messed with his meds, so he reserved them for special occasions.  And this was damn well a special occasion if there ever was one.  Even lit the joint and took a drag.  He held it in his lungs for a moment, enjoying the burn, before blowing out.  Then he held the joint out to Isak.  

With an awkward grip, Isak took the joint and coughed a bit on his first inhale. “Haven’t done this since secondary school either?” Even teased. 

“It’s not good for your lungs,” Isak groused but took a second drag anyway. 

They settle back for a bit, smoking and enjoying the warm sun on their faces. The only sound is the wind in the trees overhead and the call of the water birds fishing for their dinners. 

_________

“So what kind of music do you listen to?” Even asked Isak when the joint was passed back to him.

“Music?” Isak wrinkled his forehead in confusion at the topic change.

“Yes, music.  You know the stuff with instruments and singers,” Even tried to keep a straight face but ended up laughing at Isak’s outraged expression.

“I know what music is, asshole. I just didn’t expect…” Isak took another drag and looked out at the river in front of them.  “I don’t listen to too much music.  My mom likes the Beatles, so I listen to them when I’m with her,” he gives a small laugh. 

“What about back in school? What did you listen to then?” Even bumped their shoulders together and they settled back with their sides pressed tightly together.  

“I used to listen to NWA when I wanted to feel, you know…, tough,” Isak answered, and turned to look earnestly in Even’s direction, trying to communicate something that Even couldn’t figure out. 

“Ever listen to Nas?” Even blew his smoke out in Isak’s direction and giggled when he coughed and waved it away from his face.

“Nas… Nas? Yeah, sure. I know them,” Isak answered without looking at Even.

“It doesn’t seem like you do,” Even chuckled.  “Here,” Even got out his phone and pulled up Spotify.  He pushed play on The Message by Nas.  The music settled into their little bubble with them. 

________

Isak’s head rested on Even’s shoulder and Even thought he might be asleep, until the other man spoke.  “You know what I wish?” Isak asked in a quiet voice. 

“What do you wish, Isak?” Even asked in barely a whisper. 

“Sometimes I wish I could switch universes,” Isak’s eyes were closed and his body was pressed up close to Even. 

“What do you mean?” Even asked cautiously. 

“Well, there’s this theory that there are multiple universes with all the same people, all happening at the same time…,” Isak let out a big sigh.  “And there might be another universe where Isak and Even are sitting just like this… but something…  something would be different.”

“Like my bicycle might be yellow?” Even asked, trying to understand what was going on in Isak’s mind. 

Isak nods, “And maybe the other Isak and Even never have to leave here.”

Even slipped his arm around Isak’s waist and pulled him closer while they both watched the river flow by. 

_________

Isak’s phone had been buzzing for the last five minutes straight. 

“I’m so fucked,” He blew out a breath that lifted the curls that stuck out from the hood of his sweatshirt.  The sun had started to go down so they had both pulled up their hoods and pulled the blanket tighter instead of leaving to go back to the inn. 

“Emma?” Even asked, already knowing the answer.

“She’ll be pissed that I’m not at the inn,” Isak still made no move to answer his phone. 

_______

Even’s phone rang.  He looked down and saw Mikael’s contact. “Hey, Mik,” he answered the phone. 

“It appears that one of our guests is missing. You wouldn’t know anything about that would you?” Mikael asked sarcastically.

Even muted his phone and told Isak, “It’s Mikael.  They are looking for you.”

Isak nodded with resignation and sat up away from Even.

“Uh, yeah.  He’s here.  He had a headache so we thought some fresh air would help,” he answered Mikael. “We’ll be back soon.” 

_______

Isak and Even returned to the inn without much conversation between them. Emma was waiting out in front of the inn with a harassed-looking Mikael. “Ah, here they are now,” Mikael said with forced jocularity. 

Isak got off of the bike and walked over to where Emma was standing with her arms folded tightly across her chest, “I’m sorry Em… I just needed a break for a bit…” 

“Really, Isak?” Emma scoffed. “A break from your fiance while we are planning our wedding? You better get your shit together! I will not be embarrassed like this at our wedding, in front of our friends and family!” she said angrily. “Let’s go,” she directed and then turned and went into the inn without looking to see if Isak was following.  

“Sorry,” Isak mumbled without looking over at Even. And then he was following Emma through the doorway. 

Mikael looked over at Even and shook his head.  “You okay?” he asked. 

Unsure of all of the emotions tumbling in his head. Even just nodded.

Chapter Text

Part 2

Chapter 3

The next morning Isak left for Oslo before Even had come downstairs. It was like a punch in the gut. Since all of the contract forms only included Emma’s phone number, he had planned on asking for Isak’s number on Sunday morning. Even though he wasn’t sure for what purpose, he just knew that he didn’t want to lose the connection that they had. He kept thinking, “If only they had had more time.” 

So he was quite surprised when a week later he received a text out of the blue. 

-- hey there

-- I hope you don’t mind, but Mikael gave me your number

-- this is Isak by the way

A huge smile broke over Even’s face as he read the awkward texts. 

Even - hey, Isak it’s great to hear from you

-- how have you been

-- how’s Oslo

Even groaned after he hit send. Now who was awkward texting? He was acting like he hadn’t seen Isak in months.

Isak - fine

-- kinda boring here

-- I had fun last weekend

-- if you come to Oslo, we should hang out

Even - yeah

-- definitely

-- would be cool

“Aarghh!” Even was groaning again. Had he completely forgotten how to talk to another person without sounding like a complete fool? 

Even - maybe we could check out some music

-- have you ever been to Salt?

Isak - oh yeah, my friend Jonas really likes it there

-- that’s where all you pretentious hipsters hang? 

-- right

Even sent back three rolling eye emojis.

Even - that's a pretentious alt music aficionado to you!

Isak sent back a Seinfeld meme that had Even laughing out loud.  From then on Isak and Even texted back and forth most days.  Sometimes several times a day.  These exchanges quickly became the highlight of Even’s day. 

_______

Isak - What’s your go-to coffee order

-- our entire friendship hinges on this question

Even - shit

-- so no pressure then

-- can I ask what brought this question on

Isak - all I can say is

-- it had better not be a medium latte. Half coconut milk, half 2%. 2.5 espresso shots, extra foam (but not a cappuccino) 1.5 raw sugars. Pour the milk (not the foam) stir, spoon the foam on top. Cinnamon on top

-- did not enjoy waiting behind that guy today

_______

Even - why do people take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing

Isak - no

-- no, Even

Even - in case they get a hole in one

Isak sent back five rolling eye emojis. 

Isak - I said no, Even

_______

Even - why are some people slobs

Isak - I’m feeling attacked right now

Even - I bet you never spilled a cup of coffee on your bed sheets and just left it for the hotel staff to clean up

Isak - no, but

-- my old roommate bought me air freshener because he said my room smelled like boy farts

_______

Isak - I’m getting a dog!

Even - WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

Isak - there was a shelter that had dogs at the park

-- I mean

-- look at this face

Isak sent a picture of a black and white Border Collie.  It looked like it was smiling.

Even - Adorable

-- can you have pets at your place

By unspoken agreement neither of them ever mentioned Emma. But Even was sorely tempted to ask what she thought about this idea. 

Isak - yeah

-- I checked with the rental company

-- there is just an extra fee

Even - that’s great

-- what are you going to call them

Isak - don’t know

-- you can help me think up a name

_______

Isak - you ever have a dog?

Even - my parents have one

-- a cute little mop of white fur

-- her name is Millie

Even sent a picture of Millie from last Christmas where she was all tangled up in wrapping paper and ribbons.

Isak - cute

-- we had a dog when I was 8

-- but my mom couldn’t really handle it

-- made her too nervous

-- his name was Spot 

Even - 100 points for originality there, Isak

Isak - haha

-- I was 8, Even!!

Even - what happened

Isak - ???

Even - your mom

-- you said she couldn’t handle it

-- what happened with Spot 

Isak - we, uh…

-- we had to give him to a neighbor

-- then the neighbor moved away

-- so, yeah

Even - I’m sorry, Isak

-- that’s rough

_______

When two days passed without hearing from Isak, Even got worried.

Even - have you gotten your dog yet

-- I bet you are too busy playing around

-- or maybe just picking up shit?

-- jk, hope you are having fun

Isak - sorry no dog

-- it didn't work out

Even - I’m so sorry Isak

-- maybe next time

Isak - don’t think so

-- turns out Emma doesn’t want a dog

_______

Isak - did I act like I knew everything when I was 20

Even - I didn’t know you then

-- but I’m going to say yes

-- everyone acts like they know everything when they are 20

-- what’s going on

Isak - new intern at work

Even - enough said

_______

Even - What do you call a factory that makes okay products

Isak - Even!

-- we talked about this…

Even - a satisfactory

Isak posted ten rolling eye emojis.

_______

Isak - had a minor breakthrough at work

-- went out for drinks

-- wish it was with you

-- wish you were here

-- I wish

_______

Isak - sorry I got kinda drunk

-- I never make sense when I’m drunk

_______

Even - checking trains to Oslo

-- maybe I can come this weekend

-- we could stay someplace fancy

-- how about the Hotel Christiana

-- checking if they have a pool

-- no wait

-- how about the Radisson Blue

-- we could swim 

-- pool looks gorgeous

_______

Even - Where is he

--The man who was just like me

--I heard he was hiding somewhere I can't see

--Where is he

--The man who was just like me

--Heard he was hiding somewhere I can't see

--And I'm alone, and I realize that when I get home

--I wanna go through my red and my cherry

--Yes I'm alone, and I realize when I get home

--I wanna go through my red and my cherry

_______

Isak - wow you were busy last night

-- would be great if you came here

-- can’t wait

-- looked up the lyrics

-- Nas? right?

_______

Isak - are you still planning on coming to Oslo

_______

Isak - I had toasted cheese today

-- it wasn’t as good as yours

_______

Isak - did laundry and changed my sheets today

-- I probably should do that more often

_______

Isak - is everything okay?

-- haven’t heard from you

_______

Isak - hung out at the park today with Jonas

-- I think I got a sunburn

-- Even???

-- are you okay

_______

Isak - I called Mikael

-- he said you weren’t feeling well

-- I hope you feel better soon

_______

Even - thanks for sending the soup and the cookies

-- how did you know that chocolate chip are my favorite

Isak - no problem

-- are you feeling better

_______

Even - yeah

-- just tired now

-- I get down sometimes

Isak - yeah, me too

Even - well for me it can be a bigger deal

-- I have bipolar disorder

Isak - anything I can do to help

_______

Isak - let me know if you need

-- anything

_______

Isak - I’m here if you need me

_______

Even - sorry I didn’t get back to you

-- I was sleeping

-- I get really wiped out

-- my sleep schedule gets all fucked up

-- it doesn’t happen too often anymore 

-- but sometimes

-- just listening is good

Isak - anytime

-- if I’m not answering messages, you could always call me

-- I mean I wouldn’t mind

-- like if you wanted someone to talk to

-- or anything

-- just no dad jokes

_______

Even - why do seagulls fly over the ocean

Isak - really????

Even - because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels

Isak - I guess this means you’re feeling better

-- (smiling emoji)

_______

Even - been thinking more about your multiple universes

Isak - oh yeah?

Even - I wonder what would have happened if, like you had gone to Bakka

-- and we had met earlier

-- or maybe I had transferred to Nissen

-- or something

Isak - you probably wouldn’t have noticed me

-- I was such a nerd

Even - pics or it didn’t happen

Isak - give me a minute

After a few minutes, Isak sent a picture of his younger self.  He was wearing a backwards snapback, golden curls escaping on the sides and a huge grin on his face.  He had his arm around the shoulders of a guy with dark curly hair and striking eyes. 

Even - who’s the other guy

Isak - my best friend, Jonas

-- we’ve been friends since forever

Even - is he the guy you rode double on the bike with

Isak - ha! Yes

-- can’t believe you remembered that

_______

Even - I would have noticed you btw

_______

Isak - It’s hot here in the city today

-- everyone is outside

-- can’t believe it’s June already

Even - you’ll be here soon

Isak - yeah

Chapter Text

Part 3

Chapter 4

Even was a mess.  Today was June 18 and tomorrow Isak and all the guests for the wedding would be arriving. With his doctor’s supervision, Even was using sleeping pills to stay on his regular sleeping schedule.  He had even gone back to weekly counseling sessions with his therapist for the last month and a half.  Ever since his last episode.  He was doing all of this because in two days he would have to watch the man he loved (yes, he had admitted it to himself) get married to someone else.  

His heart was breaking but he knew he had to keep his feelings to himself. If Isak suspected how he felt, Even knew it would make him uncomfortable.  And he was too afraid to lose Isak’s friendship.  He didn’t know how he would be able to survive if he didn't have Isak in his life at all.  So he would take any small piece of the other man that he could get.

“Are you sure you don’t want to head to your parents’ place for the weekend?” Mikael asked as he walked into the office where Even was pretending to do some paperwork. As his best friend, he knew Even almost better than he knew himself and he was fully aware of Even’s feelings for Isak.  

“No, I’m fine,” Even answered without looking up and meeting Mikael’s eyes, too aware of the pain he would see there. 

“We talked about this.  I can call Mari in to come and help out.  We’ll be fine.”  He walked over and rested both hands on Even’s shoulders.  “You don’t have to torture yourself, you know.” 

Even leaned into Mikael’s comforting touch, “I need to see him… I have to see him. And his happiness is what’s most important to me.” 

Mikael walked around and sat in front of Even, “Well you are what’s most important to me, so I’m giving you fair warning I’ll cancel the whole damn wedding if It is hurting your mental health! I don’t care how many of those Oslo high society types I piss off!”

A wry smile and a soft chuckle crossed Even’s lips at his best friend’s impassioned speech. “I don’t think it will come to that, but I thank you for the support.” 

“Anytime, Evy,” Mikael answered with a big grin covering his face. 

“Sure thing, Mickey,” Even answered and the two of them lasted three whole seconds before they broke down laughing at the ridiculous nicknames they liked to use to tease each other.  

_______

It ended up that Even hid in the office all day Friday.  When it came down to it, he decided that he wasn’t ready to make small talk with all of Isak and Emma’s friends and family as they arrived to celebrate the happy couple.  Instead, Mikael and their part-time employees checked in all of the guests and made sure they had everything that they needed.  

Even hadn’t even ventured out to eat, so Mikael had brought him some sandwiches and chips at some point.  He immersed himself in drawing his webcomic, translating all his personal turmoil into illustrated angst. 

By 19:00, Mikael had let him know that all of the guests had checked in and most of them had headed out to dinner at one of the fancier restaurants in town. He decided to keep working since he was kind of on a roll, and before he knew it he looked up and it was one am.  Definitely, not on his sleep schedule. He briefly wondered why Mikael hadn’t come to get him but he figured he may have already been asleep himself. 

He made his way towards the back stairs to climb up to their apartment.  As he passed the kitchen he noticed a light was still on.  He poked his head in to check if Mikael was really up this late, but he was surprised to see Isak with his head down on the small table. “Isak,” Even called softly as he walked into the kitchen. 

“Oh!” Isak jerked his head up at the sound, making Even think he had been asleep. “Oh hey, Even.” 

Without a second thought, Even walked over to where Isak was.  Unsure how to handle seeing this man who meant so much to him, but who he had not interacted with very much in person, Even lifted up his hand for a handshake as he approached. Isak however had stood up and opened his arms for a hug, so they ended up doing that awkward one-arm half-hug thing that some men do. Even silently cursed himself for missing an opportunity to hug Isak. 

After a few more seconds of awkwardness, Even gestured back at the table and they both sat down.  “What are you doing down here?” Even gestured to the kitchen around them.

“Uh… I couldn’t really relax.  And I… I don’t know, I thought…” Isak’s voice trailed off and he didn’t complete the thought. 

“Yeah, weddings are stressful,” Even nodded, trying to be supportive.  He told himself he could do this, he could be a good friend to Isak. 

“I didn’t see you… before,” Isak said interrupting Even’s impromptu self-pep-talk. “I was… uh, worried.  I thought you might not be here.” Isak had rested his hands on the table and was twisting his fingers together anxiously.

“Oh, sorry,” Even responded. “I was working on some stuff in the office.  Even impulsively reached out and covered Isak’s hands with one of his. “I’m sorry you were worried.  I’m here.  I wouldn’t miss your wedding.” 

Isak turned one of his hands over and threaded his fingers with Even’s. “I’m glad,” he said softly.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Even asked, and when Isak looked at him questioningly, he added, “The stress? The reasons you can’t relax? Or do you just want some distraction?” 

“Distraction, please,” Isak answered immediately. 

So Even started to tell him about the Pedersens, a couple in their eighties who come back to the inn every June, and as he spoke he continued to hold Isak’s hand, “They are the cutest couple.  They both come down to breakfast every morning impeccably dressed.  Karl in a bow tie with shoes neatly shined and Anna with her hair styled and wearing a brightly colored cardigan.  They take a walk around the town after breakfast and then they come back and sit on the front porch chairs and make conversation with whoever comes by; guests, employees, delivery people, and even the mail carrier. Karl calls Anna his bride and she calls him her sweetheart…” Even sighed, “That’s the kind of love I want.”  He looked up and saw that Isak had been staring at him while he talked. 

“Do you think that’s possible?” Isak whispered. 

Even tightened his hold on Isak’s fingers. “Maybe in another universe…” he whispered back. Feeling tears well up in his eyes but not wanting to cry in front of Isak, Even tore his gaze away from Isak’s troubled green eyes. He looked around the kitchen, absently noting all of the preparations that had already been made for tomorrow’s wedding. They were a harsh reminder of why Isak was here in the first place. He took a deep breath and pulled his fingers away from Isak’s clasp, “We should really get some sleep.” “Gonna be a big day tomorrow,” he added with a wry expression. 

“Yeah, yeah.  Of course,” Isak stood up and immediately pushed his hands into his pockets, and to Even it now felt like they were kilometers apart instead of less than a meter. 

They headed towards the doorway and Even turned out the lights. When they reached the hallway, Isak turned towards the front stairs.  He hesitated for a moment and then said quietly, “Good night, Even.”

Isak turned and was walking away as Even spoke, “Good night, Isak. Sleep well."

________

Even spent Saturday morning bustling around and staying extremely busy. He set up extra seating in the back garden, helped the caterer get situated in the kitchen, and the string quartet get set up. So he didn’t even realze that there was a problem until he noticed a small group of people whispering in the hallway outside of the small parlor they made available for the wedding party to get ready prior to the ceremony. 

Two women and a man, all blond, stood in front of the door with worried expressions on their faces. They quieted when Even walked over to them. “Is something wrong?” he asked. “I’m one of the managers at the inn. Is there anything I can do?” 

“No, no everything’s fine,” one of the women responded.

“Except what’s happening with Isak,” the blond man said.

“Isak?” Even asked in concern.

“Magnus!” the other woman reprimanded.

“What!,” Magnus huffed, “He’s in there with Jonas and Eva having some sort of breakdown and you are saying everything’s fine. That’s bullshit and you know it.” 

“A breakdown? What…” Even’s question was cut off when the door to the room opened and a woman stepped out into the hall with them. 

“Eva, how is he?” the first woman who had spoken to Even, spoke again. 

“He’s… upset,” Eva answered.  “He wants to speak with Emma. I’m upstairs headed to get her now.”

“Now!” the second blond woman wailed, “She’ll be in her wedding gown already!” 

“Vilde,” the first woman was talking again, “I don’t think that’s the most important detail right now. Isak is struggling, and we need to be there for him.”

“It’s just that it’s bad luck. I don’t want Isak to have bad luck,” Vilde complained.

“I have to head upstairs. Can you handle this, Noora?” Eva gestured to the others in the hallway.

“Yes, yes. Go on,” Noora said briskly to Eva.

After Eva left, Even spoke up again, “What’s happening with Isak?”

“I’m sorry, Even was it?” When Even nodded Noora continued, “The ceremony might be delayed a bit.  Can you see that drinks are provided to the guests and that the musicians keep playing?” 

Frustration filled Even and he wanted to shake the woman and demand answers, but the bitter truth was he was nothing to Isak and these were his friends and family. It didn’t matter that he loved him, he had no rights to Isak or any privilege for information about him. “Sure,” Even answered and nodded in their direction. One word was all he could manage without emotions clogging his throat. 

Just as he was about to turn and leave to find Mikael and fill him in on what little he knew, Emma rushed past him in an extravagant ruffled white wedding dress. Eva followed quickly behind her, and when the door opened to admit the two women Even heard Emma cry out, “Isak! What is going on?” 

_______

After filling Mikael in on everything he knew, Even strategically positioned himself at the check-in desk. He pretended to work, trying to look busy while he kept one eye on the door to the parlor. His mind was whirling with thoughts of Isak.  What could possibly be wrong? What was happening to him? It was painful to stand on the sidelines when all he wanted to do was to be there with him to offer support and comfort. 

More than thirty minutes had passed before the door finally opened again.  Emma swirled out in a cloud of taffeta and lace yelling as she went, “Damn you to hell! You are a fucking coward Isak Valtersen!” She rushed up the staircase, not sparing a glance for Even, calling for her parents as she went. 

The door opened again as Eva came out and Even caught a brief glance of Isak’s friend Jonas hugging Isak. Eva started talking and Even moved closer to hear what she was saying, concern for Isak overruling any care for propriety. “... is canceled. We need to let all the guests know,” Eva told her friends. 

Vilde gasped and brought her hands up to cover her mouth. Magnus wrapped his arms around her from behind and lay his head on her shoulder. 

“What should we tell everyone?” Noora asked, reaching out and clasping Eva’s hand. 

“Isak said to tell them they are welcome to stay and eat. I’m to talk to the caterer and see if they can serve the food now,” Eva said leaning into the comfort of her friend. She turned and saw Even standing there, “I think some of the guests will want to check out early and not stay tonight.” When Even stood there with his mouth open but not saying anything, she spoke again, “Can you take care of that?” 

“Oh, yes… yes, of course,” Even tried to make his brain process what was happening. “I’m sorry, is the wedding…” his heart was racing and he couldn’t make his mouth say the words.

“There will be no wedding today,” Eva said with finality.  She turned back to her friends, “Noora can you make the announcement? Vilde and Magnus, can you guys help to keep things calm outside? I’ll talk to the caterer, and then return to Isak. Jonas is with him, he’s not really up to seeing anyone right now.” 

Isak’s friends all headed off to take care of their appointed tasks as Even stood there still thunderstruck by what was happening. The wedding was canceled. Isak wasn’t getting married after all. But why this was happening Even still didn’t know.  A text from Mikael, asking about the announcement that had just been made to the guests, pulled him out of his thoughts.

From there things got pretty hectic.  Some guests stayed to eat and drink, it seemed like mostly Isak’s friends from what he could tell.  Other guests packed up and checked out, keeping both Even and Mikael busy turning over the guest rooms.  Emma and her parents left in a storm of angry voices and demands for help with their luggage. 

By 21:00 it had died down.  The caterer had packed up, the string quartet was long gone, and the remaining wedding guests had left the inn to go down to one of the bars in town.  Even was exhausted, the stress of the day catching up to him. He had seen nothing but that one small glimpse of Isak all day.  He wasn’t even sure if he was still staying at the inn tonight.  

As he walked along the hallway, Even noticed that the door to the small parlor was open and that a light had been left on. He went into the room to turn off the light by the table but was stopped in his tracks when he noticed Isak sitting in an easy chair and staring out the window. 

“Isak,” Even said quietly, not wanting to startle the other man. “Do you want to be alone?” he asked when Isak looks up at him.  Even could see the traces of dried tears on Isak’s cheeks. 

“No,” Isak’s voice came out rough and somewhat deeper than normal. 

Even shut the door behind himself and walked into the room.  He went and sat down on the couch adjacent to the chair Isak was in. “I’m so sorry, Isak. Is there anything I can do?” Even wanted to reach out and touch Isak but he felt unsure and shakey about the whole situation so he kept his hands to himself. 

They sat quietly for a few minutes before Isak started to speak, “I had an older sister. Her name was Lea. She died when I was fourteen, she was only twenty. She was traveling with her best friend. They were in the mountains, it was icey and there was an accident,” Isak paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “There were no survivors. It was really hard on my parents. My mom’s condition worsened and my dad started staying away from home more and more. My mom was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia. After that things were… delicate. I felt a lot of pressure. I was all she had left. I tried really hard to keep things calm and normal.” 

Isak shook his head sadly, “Emma called me a coward, Even. And she’s right, that’s what I am. I was afraid, you know? Afraid to be who I was. I tried to make everyone else happy, especially my mom. Dating Emma… getting engaged… doing what was expected by our families and friends. I knew I didn’t love her in the right way, but that didn’t seem important. Instead, it seemed important to meet other people’s expectations. My mom was so happy that I was going to get married and have kids.”  Isak sighed and looked out the window again, “Emma has every right to be angry. I went along with all of the plans. I never spoke up. I led her to believe that everything was fine… even when I started having doubts. I never expected to fall in love. I didn’t think that was possible for me. Even after…” Isak’s voice trailed off and he grew silent again.  

The silence between them lengthened until it felt awkward. “Have you eaten at all today?” Even asked, still trying to process everything Isak just said but not knowing how to respond. Isak looked back at him with a bewildered expression. “I’ll go and get you something.” This time Even did let himself reach out, and as he stood up he squeezed one of Isak’s hands. He quickly went to the kitchen, heated up some soup, and made a couple of sandwiches and a cup of herbal tea. He had no idea if Isak drank tea at all, but he didn’t want to give him anything that would make it harder for him to sleep tonight. 

Even returned to Isak quickly. He set the tray of food down on the coffee table. When Isak just looked at him and made no movement towards the food, Even picked up the bowl of soup and handed it to Isak, “Try some soup Isak. It’s good, I promise.” Even laughed and added, “Mikael made it, so you can eat without worries.” 

The tiniest hint of a smile crossed Isak’s lips before he raised a spoonful of soup to his mouth. After he had eaten a few bites he nodded towards the sandwiches, “what about these? Any chili powder or kardemome?” 

Happy that Isak was referencing their previous time together, Even smiled and answered, “Well, I was a little rushed so I didn’t have time to create at my highest levels. So I’m afraid these are more ordinary sandwiches.” 

Isak nodded and ate some more of the soup. “You haven’t asked me any questions,” he said without meeting Even’s gaze. 

“You don’t need to tell me anything… uh, unless you want to. You’re all that I care about. I mean… I uh, what’s important here is how you are feeling,” Even stumbled over his words and hoped that Isak would ignore the blush racing across his cheeks. 

Isak shook his head and smiled a sad smile, “See! That’s just one more reason… I… you’re a good friend Even. Sometimes I think you are a better friend than I deserve.” He set the bowl back on the tray and looked down at his empty hands. “I’m in love with someone else.” Isak darted his eyes up to meet Even’s for a second and then looked away quickly. “I mean, ah… that’s why… ah, that’s why I called off the wedding.” Isak got quiet and stared out the window. 

The silence stretched out and Even’s mind started racing.  Isak was in love with someone who wasn’t his fiance. Even was reeling. In one day he had gone from the idea that he would watch the man he loved marry someone else, to adjusting to the fact that Isak would now be free (but probably still not interested in men), and now he was facing the unhappy reality that Isak loved someone else - so any slim chance that Even had of winning Isak over had slipped through his fingers once again. 

“I thought I could go through with it… I mean things with Emma never felt like some sort of rom-com movie or something, but I figured that people falling in love like that was just bullshit.  You know? I didn’t think that I could feel more.” Isak’s voice dropped down to a whisper, “I didn’t know…” Isak looked up and Even could see tears glistening in his eyes.  “I really fucked up.”

“You didn’t fuck up,” Even whispered hoarsely, his heart up in his throat, “You are human and you did the best you can. You don’t need to live up to anyone else’s expectations.” Even gripped his own knees until his knuckles whitened, just to keep himself from reaching out and pulling Isak into his arms since he was sure that was the last thing Isak would ever want right now. “It’s important that you are happy.”

Chapter Text

Part 4

More than a month had passed since the canceled wedding, and Even still had not heard from Isak. He was currently staring at the phone in his hand and trying to work up the courage to message Isak first. Mikael had pointed out to him once or twice, or a hundred times, that Isak may be feeling too embarrassed to reach out to Even first. So Even was trying to convince himself of that fact too.  

Pushing down his doubt with a visible shrug of his shoulders, Even opened his phone and opened his chat with Isak.

Even - hey

-- how are you

Even noticed that it was read immediately but there was no answer. “Fuck,” Even closed his phone and threw it onto his bed.  He scrubbed his fingers through his hair and walked over to the window to look outside.  Even always enjoyed these summertime evenings when daylight seemed inexhaustible, but tonight not even the beauty of the sky could soothe his aching heart. 

But before he could go into a complete tailspin, his phone buzzed.  He picked it up warily, expecting a text from his mother or something. He almost dropped the phone, however, when he saw that it was Isak responding to him. 

Isak - good

-- what about you

Even - I’m good

-- we’ve been busy

-- it’s been really warm

“Great, just great”, Even berated himself. Now he had been reduced to talking about the weather again. Could he sink any lower in his conversational skills? 

Isak - yeah

-- here too

-- city’s practically deserted

…

…

The texting bubbles stayed on the phone for several minutes before the next message appeared.

Isak - I wasn’t sure you would want to talk to me

Even’s knees gave out and he sat down on his bed abruptly.  How could Isak think he wouldn’t want to talk to him?

Even - WHAT???

-- of course I want to talk to you

-- I always want to talk to you Isak

Isak - but I messed everything up

-- the wedding, your guests…

Even - Fuck the wedding

-- I don’t care about that

-- I care about you

-- are you really okay

Isak - I’m getting there

…

-- I think I relied on Emma a lot to fit in

-- I’m getting used to being just Isak

-- instead of Emma and Isak

-- you know?

Even - yeah I actually do

-- I had a long-term sweetheart in Videregående

-- it took a while to get my balance after we broke up

Isak - yeah

-- just trying to get my balance

Even - I know what will help

--Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Isak - ???

-- Even???

Even - Well, I'm not going to spread it!

Isak - EVEN!!

Even - What did one hat say to the other?

Isak  - no no no

-- not helping

Even - Stay here! I'm going on ahead

Isak - so sorry, Even

-- gotta go

-- (rolling eyes emoji)

Even - lol

--ttyl

Even flopped backward holding his phone to his chest with a huge smile on his face. He felt a thousand times better to be connected to Isak once again.  It was just a text conversation but he felt like he could breathe freely once again. 

________

The two of them passed a few memes and casual texting conversations between them until Even felt like they had recovered their previous level of friendship. Usually not more than a day would pass without some communication between the two of them.  But the one thing they never discussed was the bomb that Isak had dropped the last time they had seen each other in person.  The fact that he was in love with someone. A mysterious someone in Even’s head, and he dwelled on this idea much too often if he was honest with himself. 

So when this current Friday evening found Even sitting on a patio outside with some friends drinking wine, more wine than he had had in a long time - Even couldn’t stop himself. Even as he told himself this was the exact wrong move, he was opening his chat with Isak.

Even - have you told them yet

-- your person

-- I mean

-- the one you are in love with

-- have you told them

-- wait, sorry

-- that’s none of my business

-- sorry sorry sorry

-- blame it on the wine

Much later the next day, when Even was waking up with a splitting headache and was reminded why he didn’t drink so much anymore, he noticed the answer from Isak.

Isak - no

-- not sure they would be interested

Before even going downstairs for water and painkillers, Even was typing out a response.

Even - they would have to be an idiot not to be interested in you

Isak - how’s the head

Even - honestly regretting even having a head right now

A few days later Even received his own oddly random text message.

Isak - are you and Mikael together

Even - no, I think he’s at the store right now

-- why

Isak - no

-- not like that

-- I mean together, together

Even - together, together?

Isak - forget it

Even - no, what do you mean

-- why do you want to know where Mikael is

Isak - UHG!!

-- I don’t

-- I mean like dating/together

Even - you want to know who Mikael is dating???

-- he’s not dating anyone

-- but he’s straight, Isak

-- sorry

-- was he the one?

--???

-- Isak??

Isak - sorry

-- was busy praying for the ground to swallow me up

-- I did not want to know who Mikael was dating

-- only if he was dating you?

Even - me??? And Mikael???

-- (string of laughing crying emojis)

Isak - it’s not that funny

Even - it is if you knew us better

-- I mean I may have had a crush on him once a long long time ago

-- but we are NOT each other’s type

-- and well, he’s straight - like I said before

Isak - and you’re not?

Even - not what

Isak - not straight?

Even - no

-- is that a problem

Isak - no

-- it’s great 

-- I’m glad

Even - if you are about to tell me some of your best friends are gay I’m going to turn off my phone

Isak - lol

-- dramatic much

-- I mean some of my best friends are gay 

-- and lesbian 

-- but that wasn’t what I was going to say

Even - what were you going to say then

Isak - I’m not either

Even - not what?

Isak - not straight

Even - oh…

Isak - yeah

-- oh

“He’s not straight!!” Even announced to Mikael as he walked into their office where Mik was working on some paperwork. 

“Who’s not straight?” Mikael asked without looking up from his work, but when he got no response from Even he finally looked up to see his best friend looking at him incredulously. “Oh, sorry. I forgot that you only talk about one person 24/7. How do you know Isak’s not straight?”

“He told me,” Even said.

“He told you?” Mikael asked, “Out of the blue?” 

“Well..” Even wrinkled up his eyes thinking about their text conversation. “I told him you were straight,”

“You told him I was straight? Why?” Mikael was looking at him in confusion. “He wanted to know if I was straight? Even, let me see the conversation.” Mikael held out his hand for Even’s phone. Even handed it over and held his breath waiting for what Mikael would say. After what seemed like ages, Mikael looked up from the phone. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Even!”

“What?!” Even snapped back.

“I was NOT the focus of this conversation,” Mikael smirked. 

“Stop looking so smug!” Even demanded, “Tell me what you know!”

“What I know is that this man is focused on one person and one person only,” When Even didn’t react, Mikael continued, “You Even! He wanted to know about you!”

“Me? I mean, I guess,” Even said not quite trusting what his best friend was implying.

“No guessing, Even. He is definitely interested in you. I would bet on it,” Mikael smiled and handed back his phone. “How about you give him some encouragement, since you are over the moon for him too.” 

______

Two more weeks of casual texting passed by before Even worked up the nerve to “encourage” Isak. 

Even took a selfie when he was down at ‘his spot’ by the river. Then he sent it to Isak.

Even - wish you were here

-- maybe you could visit sometime

Isak - funny you should mention that

-- I was just given the option to work remotely

-- all my work is on the computer anyway

-- and I can come to the office for meetings when needed

Even sent the side eyes emoji.

-- meaning you could work while traveling?

Isak - meaning I could move out of Oslo

-- what do you think of that

Even - wow

-- …

-- I’m happy for you

-- where are you thinking of moving to

Isak - don’t know yet

-- maybe north

-- where do you think I should move

Even took a deep breath trying to process what Isak was saying. He didn’t want to jump to any false conclusions. 

Even - you could move near friends

Isak - Jonas is in Trondheim

Even pressed a hand against his chest where it started aching. Of course, Isak would want to be near his best friend! 

Isak - you’re not that far from Trondheim are you

Even - no, just 2 hours by train

-- that would be cool

Two hours was doable. Two hours was great - in fact. Even was absolutely not despairing that Isak wasn’t ready to move to a small town just to be close to him. Two hours would be really nice. It would give Even chances to woo Isak in person, not just over the phone. 

______

On a Monday afternoon, Even walked into the office after going out to pick up lunch for Mikael and himself. “I loaned your bike to a guest,” Mikael told him as he set the food down. 

“You what?” Even asked. Mikael had never loaned his bike before. “Why would you do that?” 

“Well, he said he wanted to go down by the river and he only knew the way by bicycle,” Mikael said trying and failing to keep the smirk off his face. 

“The river…” Even mumbled to himself. Was Mikael talking about Isak? He snapped his head up and looked at his best friend again, “Then I’m taking your bike!” Even turned and left without waiting for an answer but Mikael’s laughter followed him out into the hallway. 

Even rushed out to the bike and pedaled as fast as he could. When he got to the path that led down to the river he saw his own bike leaning against a tree. He put Mikael’s bike next to it and started jogging down the path. 

As he reached the familiar clearing, a small ball of curly black fur started racing around him in circles and barking excitedly. “Well hello there,” Even crouched down and held out his hand for the dog to sniff at. The dog sniffed his hand, licked it once and then pushed his whole body against Even almost toppling him over. “Aren’t you an excited little guy,” Even laughed. Even gave in and sat down on the ground. The dog quickly climbed into his lap and wiggled its butt happily as Even gave him attention. 

“His name is Maxie.”

Even looked up to see Isak standing in front of him, his hair a halo of backlit sunshine and looking like something straight out of one of Even’s many many dreams. Even’s voice caught in his throat. There were so many things he had imagined saying to Isak when he finally saw him again, but they all left his brain at the sight of the gorgeous man standing there. 

“You got a dog,” Even commented finally.

“I got a dog,” Isak answered back with a smile. 

“He’s cute,” Even said, looking back down at the dog who was still squirming happily in his lap. 

“He likes you,” Isak observed. “My dog has good taste.”

Even blushed and got to his feet again. “It’s good to see you again, Isak.” Even gazed into his eyes watching as the color changed from hazel to green and back again. He would never get tired of looking at this man. Even when he gained wrinkles and his hair greyed, he would always be beautiful. 

“You gonna ask me why I’m here?” Isak grinned at him.

“Nope! Not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth,” Even laughed.

“Well, I’ll tell you anyway,” Isak laughed back. “I’m meeting with a realtor tomorrow.”

Even’s mouth fell open. A realtor? Did this mean… was Isak moving HERE? He unconsciously frowned as he tried to process this unexpected information. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Isak reacted to Even’s frown. “I just assumed… that was stupid of me. I can cancel. It’s no big deal. I shouldn’t have thought you would want…”

Even reached out and grabbed Isak’s arm, cutting him off, “No, Isak. No, that wasn’t… I was just surprised. It would be amazing if you moved here.” Even smiled and let go of the other man’s arm.

“Really? Would you want to come with me tomorrow?” Isak asked tentatively.

“Definitely!” Even answered firmly, and then he gave in to his instinct and pulled Isak into a hug. Isak clutched his hands around the fabric of Even’s shirt and held on tightly, burying his head in Even’s chest. 

They stayed that way a long, long time - until Maxie got tired of being ignored and jumped up on their legs and knocked them apart. 

______

There were four houses to tour the next day, all with one or two bedrooms. Mikael had volunteered to dogsit, so Maxie wasn’t with them. The first was a new modern condo on the north side of town. Then they saw two typical but nondescript one-story midcentury homes. 

And lastly, they came to the bright yellow cottage they were currently standing in front of. It was located a couple of blocks from Even’s inn. It would be only a five-minute walk there. 

Roses climbed a trellis by the front gate.  It had a red tile roof with a large dormer in it.  The realtor led them through the front door. Downstairs there was a living room, an office, an open kitchen and dining space, and a small powder room. There was also a door in the kitchen that led to the large fenced back yard.  “Maxie would love this yard,” Isak commented. 

“There’s lots of great light,” Even said noting the sunlight spilling across the hardwood floors. “And there is a nice office space for you to work,” he added.

“This office would be big enough for two desks,” Isak mentioned.

They went upstairs where there were two good-sized bedrooms and a large bathroom. The bathroom included a soaking tub as well as a glassed-in shower with multiple shower heads. “This is nice. Almost as big as my bedroom back in Oslo,” Isak said. 

“That tub’s even big enough for me!” Even blurted out without thinking and then blushed when both the realtor and Isak turned to look at him. 

“I think it’s big enough for both of you at once,” the realtor said before moving to the next room and leaving both Isak and Even blushing and looking everywhere but at the tub. 

When they made it downstairs again, the realtor asked Isak, “Well what do you think? Are you ready to make an offer on any of the properties we saw today?”

Isak looked over at Even and he nodded back encouragingly. “Yes, I really like this one. I want to make an offer,” Isak answered.

“Alright. I’ll write up the offer and email it to you. Hopefully, you’ll hear something soon,” The realtor led them back outside and locked up. “I’ll talk to you soon, Isak.”

They went back to the inn and hung out together but they only talked casually, neither one bringing up any of the thoughts that were swirling around their heads.  Playing with Maxie made for a great distraction from any serious talking.

______

The next day Isak burst into the office where Even was working, with Maxie hot on his heels. “Even! They accepted the offer!” he shouted.

“You got the house?!!?” Even jumped up from his chair, grabbed Isak into a big hug and spun him around with Maxie jumping and barking and running around them. 

“I got the house!” Isak laughed as he answered. 

“I’m so happy for you! This is so great! I’m so happy! God, I love you!” Even realized what he had let slip when he felt Isak stiffen up and pull away. 

Isak pulled back so that he could see Even’s face, but he didn’t let go of him, “You love me?” 

Even froze, his heart raced and felt like it was about to jump out of his chest. He wanted to be brave but he was scared to lose everything. 

“You love me like a friend? Or like something more?” Isak asked still not letting go of Even. “Because I love you too. I’m so in love with you, Even,” Isak whispered. Isak reached up with one hand and gently brushed away the tears that Even hadn’t realized were falling from his eyes. “I hope those are happy tears, Even,” Isak bit his lip and started to look worried. 

“They are. They are happy tears,” Even rushed to reassure Isak.  “I’m in love with you too, Isak. I loved you even when there was no hope of my love being returned. I was afraid to hope that you might feel this way too,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. 

Even bent his head and gently brushed his lips against Isak’s.  Isak made a small whimper, grabbed at Even’s hair and pulled him back down for another longer kiss. Lips parted and tongues entangled, the long line of their bodies was pressed together without a breath between them. That was until one very eager dog started jumping and barking to get some of the attention that they were currently only giving to each other. 

“Damn. Cock-blocked by my own dog,” Isak murmured ruefully. 

Even laughed and pulled Isak into his chest. “I love you so much,” he said as he pressed a kiss into Isak’s curls. “Okay, okay, Maxie… I love you too,” Even laughed as the dog continued to jump and bark trying to be included. “Maybe Uncle Mikael would like to babysit again?”