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All our tips are a guarantee of thrills and fun! Troll Cosmo takes no responsibility in the injuries that can be incurred in the pursuit of these tips.
1. Don’t let the routine settle in
Many kismessitudes reach a plateau after one sweep and a half where the only contact between kismeses is spit-pail-harass-maim. This isn’t a satisfying state for any relationship, and kismessitude isn’t any different. Kismeses who have been in hate for dozens of sweeps have a secret: they always find new things to hate about one another. Multiply the occasions for you to see one another, preferably in a variety of activities and among different people, and be curious about them. You hate them, but are you sure you hate them enough? The point of this exercise is to discover reasons to hate them more.
Pro: spending time with your kismesis and having fun at the same time!
Con: requires a measure of organization and coherency. You’re probably gonna have to get them to agree to your plan, otherwise you’ll only be falling back into the same pattern of arrive-attack-pail when you show up unannounced.
2. Stalk them
An oldie but goldie. Follow them, take photos of them without their knowing - maybe even call their boss if you’re feeling adventurous! Send them the results of your stalking, either anonymously or as yourself. If this is too tame for you, why not pretend to be someone else, enthralled by your kismesis’ obvious qualities? You get to torture them emotionally and laugh at them when you reveal what’s up - and riding that special anger revenge edge makes for amazing pailing. Rawr.
Bonus: if your kismesis is a sensorial psychic, they’ll know what you’re up and will hate you for thinking you can pull one up on them! Smart!
Pro: knowing more about your kismesis, unnerving them, and getting scalding-hott sex at the end.
Con: somewhat time-consuming.
3. Reenact your first hatedates
Or anything that might remind them of it, really. It doesn’t need to be huge! Don’t fret about how you’ll kill their lusus again if that’s how you finally got them to admit they hated you. (maybe you still have a picture of their lusus; any reminder will do.) Write them a parody of the hatemail they sent you first. Don the same sexy clothes you had on the first time you black kissed, and take them on a reminiscing tour! If you manage to hurt them anew, that’s good. If you don’t, they’ll still be overwhelmed with all the memories of how long and how much they’ve hated you!
Pro: very romantic.
Con: not always very practical.
4. Ignore them
Another foolproof classic. What could be more irritating than your loathed one behaving as though you were beneath their attention? This is the perfect ploy if you’re worrying that your kismesis’ attentions may be faltering. Pretend they don’t exist for a while, and they’ll take it as a direct challenge to their abilities - they’ll have to reconquer you! Play your cards right, and you’ll be buried under their demonstrations of decadent hatred in no time! Just take care not to actually be buried...
Pro: unless your kismesis is as busy as the Condesce (glory be), they won’t be able to miss that one.
Con: if your kismesis was looking for an excuse to dump you, you’ve just given them one. Also, it should go without saying, but you should prepare yourself for the escalation.
5. Ask for their input
Demand that they pitch in. There’s no reason why you should be the one doing all the work in this relationship! This is just as much their job as it’s yours. You can play this different ways, depending on what you know your kismesis hates most. Be annoying about it. Nag them. Misinterpret them on purpose. Miss your appointments. Do something else while they talk, and ask them to repeat what they’ve said when they get angry. Make a big show of being less invested in the brainstorming and the relationship than they are, and you’ll soon see results.
Pro: easy to act out!
Con: unless your kismesis is a huge attention whore, not an effective long-term plan.
6. Go after their quadrantmates
Not their matesprit, that’s overdone and always sends the wrong message. What about their conciliatory quadrantmates? Forcing one’s kismesis out of their comfort zone can be a great way to spice up your relationship. Taking their moirail hostage is the most obvious, as long as you’re careful not to actively antagonize them - you don’t want your kismesis’ moirail to take a dim view to your relationship. But going after their ashen quadrant can be even more gratifying, for the surprise factor, and also because your kismesis is less likely to eviscerate you once they’ve caught up!
Pro: a bold move that can’t be ignored.
Con: a bold move that can result in one or more deaths if you’ve miscalculated, or in quadrant distabilization that can affect your relationship.
7. Go after their matesprit
I know, I know, I just said you shouldn’t do that. What I meant is, you shouldn’t do that and expect the results to be the same as if you preyed on their conciliatory quadrants. There’s a certain subtext that comes with going after one’s kismesis’ other concupiscent quadrantmate, and that’s “I want your flushed quadrant for myself.” Potentially your most powerful tool to destabilize your kismesis, but not one that should be used lightly.
Pro: massively screwing with your kismesis’ life.
Con: you’d better be sure your kismesis values you over their matesprit, especially if you do anything permanent to them. Additionally, you should also hope they weren’t waxing secretly flushed for you! Awkward all around.
8. Invade their quadrants
Pity-flirt with their moirail. Ask their auspistice for advice. Go to their matesprit for help with dealing with another troll. It doesn’t require you to be serious, and it doesn’t require you either to fool your interlocutor into thinking you are - in fact, it’s safer if everyone involved knows you’re just flirting for flirting’s sake. The key here is honesty. The goal is to make your kismesis feel like suddenly, you’re everywhere in their lives. You’re invading their other quadrants, and going along just fine with them! (or cheerfully disliking one another.) And there can be no doubt that you’re doing this just to annoy them, which is both flattering and - you guessed it - infuriating.
Pro: getting to spend more with the other important people in your kismesis’ life.
Con: be careful not to neglect your other quadrants...
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