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Chapter Text

It’s the third year after their wedding and Purgatory has been transformed to a vivid place for humans as well as for demons of all forms – thanks to the very engaged sheriff in town and Deputy director Chetri from BBD.

This coexistence was only possible under the condition of respect and recognition to each other. Surely sometimes there were some trouble in the neighbourhood because of the very different lifestyle of like the lizard demons having their tradition hunting their food after sunset when the insects fly around the street lamps. Or like the bunch of ogres which came to town from time to time to have some weird rituals in the woods and the citizens fear of them to eat their children. Or like a revenant motorcycle club hosted a metal festival.

Additionally Purgatory became a kind of mekka for demons travelling around wanting to see that strange inclusive place, where humans and demons went along well. Some said the name of the town must be programme, some claimed that there must be the hellmouth below the town, some just want to come for some kind of vacation having a safe space.
Also the cityscape changed a little: Witches opened a magic shop and a diner have been opened which served very exotic demon-food and planning a streetfood festival for the next year. All in all you can say, Purgatory has always been a place with many festives over the years: The Spring fair including the vote of the nicest person in town, Purgatory Pride in summer, Square Dance fest in the autumn, Christmas market, etc. which always were all very small and traditional – now the new demonic citizens and tourists made them unusual but excited.

Since we were just talking about it. Since the vote for the nicest person of Purgatory paused for a few years, they just brought it back and you can probably guess who was elected once again.
Waverly has been very popular between all citizens especially for the new ones. Being an half-angel brought her a lot of respect right from the start. Her kindness and openness, and her ability to bring people together peacefully and mediating between them brought her the title ‘commissioner of inclusion’ – with an own office in the town hall by the way. But she wasn’t very much about office hours. Rather she preferred walking through the town, meeting some citizens in Shorty’s and doing some flying visits in the local shops and some clients at their homes.

When she was offered the job by mayor Loblaw she was very enthusiastic. Firstly, when Loblaw realized how many demons found their home in Purgatory, she knew right away that she didn't want anything to do with it – so, someone had to take care of it. Secondly, Waverly enjoyed research. Researching about the many different demon species which came to town, talking to them and get to know their culture and abilities. Of course, she still did a lot of research for BBD.

On the second look there were also some disadvantages about the job, because she should move into an office in the town hall and she should do a weekly report to Loblaw on demon activity in the city. Knowing that Loblaw had little idea and often little interest, she soon found out what to tell her and what not to tell her. She made sure the mayor had little to worry about and sorted out the trouble on her own and with help from Jeremy and Nicole. The other bothering thing was: when she was working at the police department for BBD she has been able to just switch over to the sheriff’s office and just have a little talk – or flirt – with her beloved wife Nicole Haught, the sheriff of Purgatory.
But she soon found her way of managing this job and just allowed herself to come over whenever she could, having lunch with Nicole and Jeremy or bring a bunch of doughnuts to her former colleagues from the police.

“Baby, you shouldn’t walk around in the whole town in your condition. I’m a little worried it could be too much for you...” Nicole stated frowning.
They just finished their lunch and Wavery was obviously struggling a little standing up from her chair. Nicole just jumped up and ran to her, helping her gently with coming up.

“Nicole, I’m all fine. I’m just need a power hug from time to time, from my best baby?”, she smiled at the other woman, while holding on to her.

Nicole smirked at that and wrapped her arm around Waverly and kissed her forehead. “You are my strong baby, I adore you. Just take care of both of you, okay?”

“Sure, I will.” Wavery pulled back from the hug and now looked deep into Nicole’s eyes. “I’m so happy being on this journey with you.”

Nicole shinned back at her, laying her right hand on Waverly’s pregnant belly. “Me too. Can’t wait. There are only a few days left until the date.”

They would have stand here close together for eternity, when there weren’t all the duties calling them to go back to work.

“I have to leave now. You know, today the delegation from Sunnydale will arrive at the bus station and I have to welcome them.” Waverly explained.

“California, huh? Hopefully there are no hot tanned good-looking vampires trying to seduce you”, Nicole teased.

“No silly, it’s just a mixed research group, humans and demons – maybe vampires – I dunno –, but they’ll having an exchange with the colleagues from BBD. It’s something about the theory that there could be a second hellmouth in Purgatory. I talked with Jeremy about this yesterday. And he will also be there, so you don’t have to worry about me. And after this I will go back to the Homestead and relax myself like you want me to,” Waverly explained.

“Okay okay, so, that sounds interesting and also scary, that Hellmouth-Theory,” Nicole stated thoughtfully. “So see you there later, my dear.”

“See you later,” Waverly leaned forward, putting her hands on Nicole’s cheeks give her a soft and intimate kiss. “Don’t be too late today, ok?”

Jeremy standing in the door had already waited for Waverly and smiled at the scene he just witnessed. The two women did not notice him and were a little surprised when they realised. But Waverly was happy to see him: “Hi, Jer-bear! How is it going? How is Damon?”
The two left the office vividly chatting and laughing like they always did, when they came together.

Nicole looked at them walking down the hallway, till she couldn’t see them anymore. She thought she was the happiest person on earth. Being sheriff of a small town, which maybe supposed to be her destiny, but also being with her lovely Waverly and her friends – she could not imagine a better life. Being the angel shield hasn’t been an issue yet, but sometimes she wonders, what would about to happen with her, when it becomes important.
The only thing that bothered her sometimes was, that she could not leave the Ghost River Triangle for accompany Wavery and Jeremy to their trips to the sea or a foreign country which they decided to do from time to time. She was aware that she couldn’t ask Waverly not to go and see the wide world. Mainly because she knew that this opportunity had been denied to Waverly many years. And after all she was happy that Waverly’s best friend Jeremy joint her at most trips.
Waverly was always so cute when coming back from a trip and always brought some significant stuff and a bunch of photos from the places she visited. And their reunions have always been passionate.

Nicole grined to herself when she thought about that and went back to her desk, having a lot of paperwork to be done.
The moment she sat down, her cellphone ringed. It was Wynonna.

“Hey Wynonna, how is it?”

Loud music was pumping in the backround and Nicole could also hear a child’s voice singing gibberish.
“Haught-stuff, how are ya? How’s Waverly, is she all good?”

“She is unstoppable as always. Are you having a party there?”

“Haha, we make the journey pleasant”, Wynonna laughed.

“Listen here, Nicole. Alice and I will arrive already tonight,” Wynonna explained.

“Well, what a pleasure,” Nicole said delighted. “You can just head over to the Homestead, Waverly will be there from the afternoon. And I can just go over to shorty’s and let Doc and Rachel know about, so we can have a little reunion-party.”

“That’s sweet, Haughty. I’m looking forward to seeing you all again, but it maybe get really late, because we've been on the road for so long today and I guess Alice will be very exhausted. So we can party tomorrow. And maybe don’t tell Waverly, so it will be a surprise for her.”

Nicole giggled, “okay, that’s nice. So, see you later and take care, Wynonna.”

“See ya!”

Jeremy and Waverly arrived at the bus station, which were a little outside of the town – nobody knowing why, cause everyone who wanna visit the town had to do a little walk reaching downtown.

“Jeremy, if it’t ok, I would jump off, after the welcoming speech, because I think Nicole was right, I should rest a little.” Holding her hands wrapped around her belly.

“Sure, Waverly, you do that, I will lead them to the hotel and besides, I am the host,” he answered with a caring tone in his voice.

Everyone in town adores pregnant Waverly and wants her to feel comfortable. She was a lucky one.

“But if you could find some time in the next few days, you are very welcome to come over and visit us – I mean, if there would really be a hellmouth below us, it would be amazing!”, Jeremy brooed.

“I'm not so sure if that will come true – oh look, the bus is coming.”

After the guests got off the bus, Waverly welcomed them as the ‘commissioner of inclusion’ in the name of the town. As you can imagine, mayor Loblaw was always happy when she didn't have to take on such a task. The group consisted of various demons and also two or three vampires clad in dark, loose robes. Waverly was happy and curious all round. She wanted to know what these people knew, but she had to be reasonable. She had to rest and she was looking forward to Nicole giving her a foot massage in the evening.

After the group followed Jeremy to the Hotel and disappeared in the dust of the hot day, Waverly was going to get in her red truck, as she noticed a person which was left behind looking around like she was searching something. It was an older woman, maybe in the same age like her mother, but she looked much more worn out and had a bit of sadness in her eyes. Her light orange hair disheveled form the wind. She only carried a small suitcase and her purse. She looked lost and a displaced. Maybe a relative from one of the citizens, coming for a visit. But Waverly had never seen her before.
“Ma’am, don’t you belong to that group that just left?”

“Oh no, I just took the same bus as these guy – who were a bit strange, I think.”

“Ma’am, welcome to Purgatory. The strangest place on this planet,” Waverly smiled at her and reached her hand for a polite greet.

“I listened to your speech, young Lady. As I think you are an official, you may be help me finding a person in this town,” the older woman explained accepting Waverly’s greeting hand with her own.

“I would love to, Ma’am. I know nearly every person in this town.

“Lucky me to meet you immediately, young lady. My name is Perdita Haught and I’m looking for my daughter.”

Chapter Text

“Young lady, is everything ok with you? It’s because of the baby?”, the woman asked frightened then Waverly just stared as like she was made of stone and holding her belly.

“I… Sorry, I just… . You’re looking for your daughter and her name is also Haught – like yours?” Now as she did a closer look at the womans face she recognised that familiar looking brown eyes.

“Yes, it is. Do you know her? Because, as you said, you know nearly everyone in town.”

“Sure, I know her”, Waverly answered nervously. She wouldn't have ever expected meeting her mother-in-law one day. Nicole talked not about her parents. She refused every time to do when Waverly asked her to.

“Fantastic! One time in my life I’m blessed,” she said, more talking to herself. “Would you mind telling me, where I find her, young lady?”

Suddenly Waverly exhaled strongly, grabbing her belly and trying to grab something to hold on with the other hand. She sighed deeply. The other woman realised quickly and reached out her arms to keep Waverly safe.

“It’s ok, young lady, you should not overdo it,” the older woman reassured.

“Thank you, I just feel so weak from one moment to the other. Would you please bring me to my car?”

“What’s your name, young lady?” she asked while she placed Waverly on the passenger seat. Waverly looked into the older woman’s eyes – ‘Hearteyes! ..of course.’, she thought, which reminds her of a certain person.

“Waverly. Waverly Earp,” she lightly smiled at the warm expression of the other womans eyes that reminded her of Nicole which made her feel a little more comfortable again.

“Waverly, should I just tell someone to pick you up or something?”

“That is so sweet, thank you, ma’am. Maybe I… . I dunno. I think this is just normal. The birth should be in two weeks.”

Waverly was thinking about what to do next and fast forget about her own condition. Nicoles mother was just here! Should she just tell her that she’s her daughter-in-law? Should she call Nicole first? Should she bring her to the police department? Or tell her, she should go there? A whirl of thoughts swirled around in her head.

“Waverly. Please let me help you. Is this your first pregnancy? We’ll call your boyfriend or husband – whatever?” The older woman sounded worried.

Waverly felt a little better again, but all in all she was drained out and she surely knew she should spend the rest of the day on the couch. Would she be able to drive herself home? She felt dizzy. A urge of nausea creeped slowly up her throat. It was just after 5 o'clock. Nicole would come home again 7, so she would have enough time to hatch a plan, talk to Mrs Haught and maybe … just bring those two together? It would also be kind of embarrassing if it turned out later that she is her daughter-in-law and hadn't said anything before. Waverly swallowed hard and narrowed her eyes as she felt a pulling pain in her abdomen again.
She was unsure but, she made a decision, also to her own good right now.

“Mrs Haught, can you drive?”

Their nametags at the letterbox were currently in the process of being restored. So Mrs Haught would not be surprised when they arrived at the Homestead and she would read her own name tag at the entrance.

“Sure. Should I bring you somewhere?”

“Please, yes. Please maybe you can bring me home. So I can calm down a little bit. We can have a cup of tea and talk? If you’re not in a hurry to find you daughter immediately?”

“No, please! It’ more important to help a pregnant lady.”

Waverly guided her the way to the homestead. While driving Mrs Haught told Waverly about time when she was pregnant herself and gave her some tips how to manage the first time after birth. Perdita told her, she had been only 17 when she give birth to her daughter. Which was far too young in her opinion.

“You did it the right way, I think. And you’re such a brave and kind person, Waverly. Your partner must be proud of you.”

Waverly tried to steer the conversation to the previous topic. “It must have been hard to have a baby with 17. When I think about myself in that age.”

“It was hard and when you don’t really have the support of your partner, it’s no good. I was so often overwhelmed with the situation, I can’t tell. But every time I looked in my babygirl’s eyes, I have been so happy. I did everything I could do to treat her well. What a 17 year old girl can do, you know… .”

Waverly looked at her. There was this sadness again. Not only that this woman had had a hard time. It was also about the fact that Nicole didn't seem to have had a very good childhood either. She thought about Wynonna’s and her own childhood, which were very often difficult. As a teenager you often condemn your parents but as you grow up you sometimes understand better why they were the way they were.

“When was the last time you saw you daughter?” Waverly asked. She didn't know if she was going too far with the question, but she wouldn't find out from Nicole.

“The last time I saw her…? I think, she was 17 or 18… . You see, I don't even remember that exactly anymore. The last time was short, and we had a fight with her. No good. It's never good to break up in an argument. I know that today.”

Before Waverly could ask any more questions, they arrived at the drive to the homestread.

“So here we are… . Oh…,” Waverly made a surprised noise.

“What is it?”

There were Wynonna’s truck and Nicole’s police car at the driveway.

“Oh ehm… nothing, just… that’s my sister’s truck, you know. She arrived earlier, I think. She didn’t tell me,” she said more to herself and a little confused but then felt worries, because how could it be, that Nicole was already at home? Her plan didn't work out.

“Alright, Ms Waverly, but there is also a police car. Maybe something happened?”

“No, I don’t think so. Thank you very much, Mrs Haught, I couldn’t thank you enough for that. It’s all good my sister’s here, she can bring you to your hotel later.”
Good thing Wynonna was here, Waverly thought, because she didn't know what was going to happen next since she was just going to bring Nicole's mother home. She thought the worst. Nicole would be mad. That thought made her dizzy again.

“Waverly, I told you to call me Perdita, please,” she smiled at the younger woman. “You know, I’m a little excited to get to know some townspeople and then you can tell me, what you know about Nicole.”

“Sure,” Waverly tried to smile through her emerging insecurity.

As Waverly climbed out of the car, struggling with her actual weight, and smashed the car door close, the homestead's front door slammed open and a little girl rushed straight at Waverly.

“Aunty Waves!”

“Hello Alice!”

“Aunty Waves, is your baby coming soon?”

“Yes, Alice”, she smiled down at her niece and hugged her.

The two women walked to the house. Alice ran ahead, right into the kitchen.

“Aunty Waves is here!” she celebrated.

As they entered the front door, Nicoles voice came right from the kitchen: “Hey Cutie! Surprise! I stuck in the kitchen and try to rescue Wynonna’s supper.”

“Oy! My supper is super!” Wynonna’s yelling voice came just from another corner of the house.

Waverly became more nervous. She suddenly feels that wave of pain again in her abdomen. She painfully groaned and holds her belly.
In that moment, Nicole appeared in the living room with a kitchen apron above her police uniform: “Baby, are you all right?” She walked straight to her struggling wife and took her to the sofa. “Come on, baby, lay down.”

Waverly breathed deeply as she were placed on the sofa. Nicole was always tender and supportive. “Thank you, my dear,” she mumbled as Nicole hovered a blanked over her and wrapped her in it. She sat herself right beneath Waverly on the edge of the sofa, leaned forward and kissed Waverly in her forehead. “It’s all good now, you’re safe,” she smiled down at her.

Perdita Haught who had been standing right behind Waverly at the doorway had not been noticed by Nicole who only had eyes for her beloved. She had observed everything closely. It was the first time since 17 years that she saw her daughter again – her grown up, independent, loving and caring, apparently gay, daughter.

“So, Waves, you brought us a guest,” Nicole noticed while she put the kitchen apron away and walked right ahead to the foreign woman, stretched out her hand in greeting. “I’m Nicole”, the tall, radhaired woman with the impressive police uniform smiled before losing face in the next moment as her eyes spotted the small person just standing there. Memories started running through her inner eye from very deep down of her past: The same deep brown eyes of her mother, the red hair like her own, but faded to light orange. She remembered her face in that very moment she faced her, but it was decayed.

“Perdita.”

“Nicole.”, she replied insecure. The familiar voice of her mother, but faded to grey.

“Why are you here?” Nicoles impression switched from heart-warm to stone-cold.

"I bumped into her at the bus stop," came the voice from the couch. Nicole looked around at the sofa. She looked stressed.

Meanwhile, Wynonna and Alice entered the room and took place on the couch right beneath Waverly. Wynonna realised immediately that there were some tensions in the room. She grabbed Waverlys hand and checked if her sister was ok.

“I wanted to see you.”

Pause. They just stared. Nicole’s eyes wide and Perdita’s eyes just weak and sad.

“And your father died.”

“I don’t think I can come to the funeral.”

“It happened almost five years ago,” she clarified in painfully.

“I don’t care at all, he didn’t love me. I even think he hated me. Never wanted to have a child.”, Nicole answered harsh. “And you, too!”

“Nicole, I’m just here to tell you, that I changed my mind, and changed my life and I very regret so many things that I… .

“Oh no, you cannot come into my life so suddenly after not being a mother to me for more than 15 years.” Nicole interrupted.

“Yes, you’re so very right, but I really want to tell you some things that came to my mind, since your father died and…”

“What did he die of?” Nicole interrupted again. She even was a little surprised about her question herself.

“Shot by the police.”

Nicole’s eyes widened again as she heard that.

“Dangerous robbery. He wanted to flee. …Everything revolved around the drugs. They put me in jail, because I helped him with the dealing. I had to go to rehab. We really screwed it up. It was horrible.”

Nicole was aghast.

“That’s enough!”

“Nicole, please listen to me…”

“You drug addicted criminal – get out of my house!” she yelled at her, not willing to hear any more of that.

“Oy, that’s my house!” Wynonna clarified from behind the scene.

Once again, Nicole turned her look around staring at Wynonna angrily.

“Than I will go.”

She grabbed her jacket from the coat hook and vanished into the dusk.

“Nicole!” Waverly yelled weakly after her.

Chapter Text

They all just sat there numbed for a moment. Perdita started crying hiding her face into her hands, shocked. Waverly slowly sat up from her lying position and looked forward the lost mother in guilt.

“Perdita, please, take a seat. I’m so sorry. I should have told you before. It’s all my fault, I shouldn’t had bring you here. That was rash. And… I think I never seen Nicole that angry.”

Wynonna stood up and lead the woman to one of the armchairs.
“There, there, Mrs Haughty.”

“No, it’s ok, Waverly. I had to reckon with it. Why should she welcome me with open arms?” She stated whipping away her tears and tried to hold back more to flow out of her eyes.
“It doesn't matter if it happened here or if it would have happened somewhere else.”

Wynonna went over to her little girl. “Alice, my big girl, please take care of your auntie while I bring Mrs Haught to her Hotel, ok?”

“Ok mommy, but can you bring back auntie Nikky. I don’t want her to be angry.”

“Sure…” she smiled at her whole pride.

“Waverly, will you be ok with that?”

Waverly nodded in reply with a sad and guilt expression.

As she took Mrs Haught to a cheap hotel, she said to her: “I know your daughter. She's so damn sensible. She'll calm down, I'm sure of it.”

After that Wynonna decided to stop at shorty’s expecting a certain redhead to be there. And there she was, sitting at the bar, sipping on a bottle of beer.

Rachel was about to bring her two more shots. One empty glass war already standing there.

“Oy, Sheriff-shabby!”

“Wynonna. Are you here to give me a morality talk or to drink with me.”

Wynonna grabbed the full shot and pulled it down.

“Both. But I’m better with the drinking.”

“What happened to you guys? Our sheriff, who doesn't tolerate anything, doesn't booze for no reason?” Rachel asked.

“You still working here?” Wynonna asked.

“Only this summer, then I'll start my studies. But don't distract.”

“My mother’s in town, unexpectedly.” Nicole mumbled. “Haven’t seen her since I was 17, when I told my parents that I want to be a cop one day. My dad freaked out, we had a fist fight. I lost. She did nothing.”
She spoke without modulation and looked into the corner of the room with an indifferent expression in her eyes. She grabbed one of the shots and pulled it down in one go.
“One more, please,” she ordered.

“Shit, I would be so mad at her. But you know, I don't have a mother to be mad at anymore. Better a mother to be mad at than none at all, right?” Rachel replied with a pitying look.

“Also true,” Wynonna gave Rachel a look and started talking to Nicole.
“Waverly told me, she had bumped into her at the bus stop, not knowing, who she is and asked her to bring her home because of the pre-labor. She did not expect you to be already at home.”

Nicole just gave a small smile. Knowing that her wife was some of a kind.

“Your reaction is understandable, Haught. That’s a hard nut to crack. And I can also feel with your mum. I know what it feels like to be rejected and being broken. No one trusts you to be good again, having integrity and being honest. Many people learn from their mistakes and maybe she has – think about whether you want to give her a chance to at least explain things.”

Nicole looked thoughtful and finished her beer.

“I just don’t know what to do, Wynonna. I just overreacted in that moment.”

“You don’t need to know yet. But, I’m here to pick you up and bring you back to Waverly, because she needs you now.”

“Yeah… you’re right,” Nicole agreed and pulled her shot down, which Rachel had brought her.

“Let’s go, Haugh-mess, I have to drive.”

Nicole swayed into the bedroom. She had exaggerated it a bit, for she didn't tolerate much. Unlike Wynonna, but Wynonna had drastically reduced her alcohol consumption since she took care of her little Alice intensively.
Waverly and Nicole had left the upper room to the two visitors for the duration of their stay, so that Alice could fall asleep in peace in the evening while the adults were still awake.
It was dark, she bumped her foot against the door frame, tried to suppress the pain in her toe. She hissed away the pain and continued to carefully feel her way through the room until she could grab the corner of the bed. Then took off her uniform shirt and khaki-pants and dropped both to the floor and left them there. Usually, she handled her uniform more carefully, hanging it over a hanger. Today she didn't care. She crawled into bed under the blanket and gently snuggled up to Waverly's back carefully, because she didn't want to wake her up under any circumstances.

“Nicole...”

“Waverly, did I wake you up?” she whispered.

“No, I haven't slept properly yet... I think,” she mumbled sleepily.

“Yes, because you don't have a bonus blanket?” Nicole explained.

Waverly turned herself in Nicole's direction, as far as she could with her pregnant belly, unfortunately she did not manage to turn well, she wrapped her arm around Nicole's head. “You are my bonus blanket.”

Nicole could read this gesture, leaned on her elbows, leaned forward and gave her beloved one a kiss.
“Woah... Nicole, you smell like whiskey,” Waverly complained.

“I needed that somehow.”

“Oh, baby,” she sighed weakly.

“I'm sorry I was so beside myself. I don't know how to deal with this situation, Waves.”

“You don't have to, and until you know, you'll talk to me about it. Now you're here with us, you can relax yourself, ok, sweetie-pie?”

“I'm sorry I woke you up.”

“Why don't you caress me until I fall asleep.”

Nicole could hear Waverly grinning. “I would love to...”

“And tomorrow we'll see together how it goes.”

“You're right, as always.”

It only took a few moments before she could hear Waverly breathing calmly and knew she had already fallen asleep. She felt the alcohol running through her veins and she felt a little dizzy when she closed her eyes. She pressed her face into Waverly's hair and tried only to think about the happiness that would come into their lives in just a few days.

A bright laugh and rumbling above them woke up the two women. Nicole was in the same position where she had fallen asleep. Her arms wrapped around Waverly and her face buried in her hair.
“That will all come to us...”, murmured a tired voice.

“Good morning, you two,” Nicole murmured and stroked Waverly's belly.

Wynonna was amused at the sight of Nicole when she entered the kitchen and let herself fall on a chair. She looked fine as always with a fresh uniform-set, but her eyes were dull.
„Does anyone have a hangover?“

“Auntie Nikky, you’re back!” Alice jumped on her lap. “Are you still angry? Don’t be, because I came here specially to visit you.”

“Thank you, Alice, I appreciate that. I’m not angry anymore,” she smiled at the girl and hugged her.

As Nicole was about to get up from the breakfast table, Waverly grabbed her hand and looked at her worriedly.
“Your mom gave me her phone number, for you.”

Nicole swallowed looking at Waverly’s serious expression. Waverly gave her the note with the number.

“Think about it. As far as I know, she will be in town for a few days.”

“Thank you,” she put in the note and looked over at Wynonna and thought of her words from last night.

It was Thursday and her penultimate day before her parental leave. The handover to her deputy was almost finished. She wanted to do everything today and tomorrow she would only work half the day to tidy up her workplace. She was glad that Wynonna was already there and had an eye on Waverly.

She was haunted by several memories since she left the house in the morning. And as she thought, she had come to an end with one a new one came into her mind. It felt like a nightmare in which you desperately trying to solve a problem, but it all came back for a sudden and you have to start again the whole solving-process.

Everything was perfect, actually, but what was she supposed to do with her mother? She had had nothing to do with her hippie-parents since she had been a teenager. After the incident at the Shelterland Music Festival 1996 she had been at Nedley’s house for a few days. She didn’t remember that time. Perhaps these memories were repressed, but Nedley had told her everything he known. Black Badge had labeled that Incident as a two-days lasting forest fire. The truth about the cult of bulshar’s massacre was more or less worked up. But that was not relevant at the moment. Nicole thought that the idea becoming a cop must have grown in her secretly since the time after her rescue through Nedley. He became her mentor, a familiar one, a fatherfigure. A father she had never had.

She remembered that she was taken to a catholic boarding school as she was 11 years old. At that time she didn't know why. They had lived in a multi-storey residential building in a suburb of Houston. No closed doors, much space, on every floor lived some people which she was supposed to call her uncles and aunts, everyone was befriended with everyone, many friends who all lived under one roof. There was mysterious attic and other children to play with hide and seek. Nicole remembered that she had spend a lot of time being with several other adults. It was not important whose child it was, everyone was kind and spends time with her, looking after her. That was it. Most of her early childhood memories were unclear and fogged. Later her parents moved out from the commune into a small flat on their own. She didn’t remember the reason. Only that her father was upset and angry very often.

One day she had to go. All of a sudden. And they did not impede it.

Her guardian kept her away from her parents, only phone calls were allowed – but rarely. But the rebellious teenage Nicole ran off from time to time at the weekends and secretly visited her parents, the first time when she was 14. That first time was a nice reunion, but something had changed. Her parents never had steady jobs, but they did, and then at some point they didn't have any jobs at all. Maybe they were already hiding something from her back then. Sure they had been hippies. At some point, Nicole could imagine that they have constantly smoking weed. But other drugs? She would never thought of that.

Catholic boarding school, college, police academy, now Purgatory, the place with which she was connected in a fateful way. Maybe that was a part of it? Maybe that was the place where she lost her parents – in a certain way – and would find them again. Them… Ok, her father was dead. Shot by the police. What the fuck? Sure he haven’t been a good father, but he haven’t been a bad person in general. But how did that happen?

Why was she taken to a boarding school? A catholic? Religion never had played a role in their family life. They never told her the reason Her mother always said, that this would be a good education for her. Better than a school in Houston? And the alternative would have been to witness the complete social crash of her parents and their descent into illegal activities? What if she would have become addicted to drugs or got criminal herself as a teenager? She found these thoughts very abstruse. But who knows? The worst thing she ever had done was that she secretly left the boarding school at the weekends, smoking behind the church or skip holy mass on Sunday morning.

Maybe she could ignore her mother and she would just leave the city again. The 'problem' would take care of itself. But that didn't suit Nicole’s character. She wasn't the type to sit things out. She took matters into her own hands. Only she didn't know how.

Throughout her youth, she had wondered too much why her parents had send her to a boarding school. Sometimes she had wondered, if they no longer wanted her? She remembered that her mother always loved her very much and the two had a good relationship.

Her father in turn was rather absent, often dismissive and inaccessible. Never had time and always something important to do. But Nicole was young and just didn't understand a lot of things. She didn't remember many things anyway. And later she had simply been a naive teenager who thought she understood everything but actually had no idea about anything. How should she? She shared her dream becoming a cop and that changed everything.

That fight she had with her father. He yelled at her, how it would come into her mind to become a henchman of that stupid system. How she dared to believe she would stand up for a justice that didn't really exist. How arrogant she is. How she could think that she would be something better.
He had grabbed her by the shoulders with a hysteric look in his eyes. It hurt and she tried to free herself from his grip and yelled back at him. What did she yelled at him? She didn’t remember. She only remembered that hit that smacked her down on the floor in one go. She remembered him getting on his knees beside her and venting his anger on her. She tried to push him away and her fist meet his nose, there was blood. Was it from his nose or from her mouth? How had she freed herself out the situation?
Later at the academy she had learned how to deal with such situations. But at that time she had been nothing but helpless.

After that incident she was all alone. Alone with her life, alone with the struggles at school, alone with her future dreams, alone with the nightmares that have plagued her for a year now. The last thing she remembered about her parents were her father in rage and her mother standing in the doorway looking at her in shock. And did nothing. Just nothing. She just watched her daughter got bruised and blue.

How many times had she cursed them?

All those scraps of thoughts and memorabilia swirled around in her head. There were so many open questions, but also… .
A dark feeling crept into her the longer she thought about it. Yesterday in the argument, she had already felt it. It had not been an argument at all, but rather an outburst of anger.

Anger.

She was angry. It was unfair. She was left alone by her parents and now she should take a stand? Why didn't they take responsibility at the time, why did they allow Nicole got taken away? Boarding school wasn't always cool. But it had its reasons. Reasons she could only guess. How could they indulge in drugs so shamefully? Why did her father hated her? Why hadn't he been willing to listen and talk to her?
There were so many ‘whys’… .
And now? Should she suddenly be forced to forgive her mother!?

Lost in thought, she chewed on her sandwich when she suddenly stood up and hurried into the gym.
A few moments later she changed clothes and was ready to let her whole anger out of her body by threshing the punching bag. She growled and roared and screamed against the feeling in her stomach. She let this whole negative energy flow until tears started flowing down her cheeks. “Why did you reject me!? And why did you forsaken me!?” she shouted at the punching bag. After a few minutes she was just a panting bundle of nerves.

A deep grumpy but very familiar voice tore her out of her actions.

“Nicole?”

She looked up irritated.
“Nedley!”

Her mentor stood in the door of the gym and grinned at her fatherly through his beard, as he always did but then switched to seriousness again.

“What’s wrong with you? Did something happen to Waverly?”

“What…? Oh, no. I… I’m sorry. She’s all fine. It’s all good. I just…” she stammered, gasping for breath and surprised and a little embarrassed that someone interrupted her. She felt relieved in that moment, she realised Nedley was here. His presence calmed her down. He was like a father to her. She could tell him everything.

“You know, you can tell me everything.”

“I know,” she smiled at him and becomes desperate again. “It’s just… my mother showed up yesterday, out of the blue.”

Nedley raised his eyebrows because of surprise, what he did not very often.

“Just… I feel so much anger in my stomach. I don’t know what to think or what to do or feel. I think I never had been so angry in my entire life.”

Nedley walked in, put his hand on Nicole’s shoulder and lead her to sit down at the bench, “tell me what happened.”

After listening to the whole story, Nedley took a deep breath.
“There are essentially three options, Nicole: You can ignore her and punish her with your passivity.
Or you pay her back by blaming her and letting her feel all your anger – practically as a kind of retaliation.
Or you can deal with her, listen to what she has to say. By doing so, you build a relationship with each other. It's certainly the hardest, I know. But you may be able to forgive her, not right away, but one day. And then you will find peace yourself – I’m very sure about that.”

“I had peace until she appeared.”

“Nicole, I know you. You are like a daughter to me and I’m like a father to you. You always needed this support. I certainly believe that you secretly missed having a mother in all those years. It is a void that is difficult to compensate. And you will soon be a mother yourself. And no one knows beforehand where life will take them.”

Nicole put her face in her hands and paused. She sighed deeply.

“It's always worth working towards a good future, with everyone. Think about it well, because at some point you might regret not talking to her. Your father isn’t any more, he cannot harm you, but your mother’s here because of you.”

He was right, there was nothing to fear, wasn’t it? – from a reasonable point of view. But her heart hesitated. Her chest contracted at the thought of standing face to face with her mother again.

“You’re right. I will talk to her… somehow.”

Somehow.

Chapter Text

Waverly picked up the phone, “Hey sweetie-pie, what an honour, you call me while working hours. But… it everything ok? Something happened?”

“Hey Waves, everything is well, don’t worry. I just went into myself, because of my… mother… .”

“Hmmm, simply that way? That was easy. We haven't even discussed it with each other.”

“Nedley came around and we talked. That old wise man is gold.”

“Ok, weeeell. And what did you come up with?”

“Much. I just think I want to talk to you first and then… maybe it’s better to come home first.”

“Sure, babe! Don’t hurry. It’s all good. It’s good you talked to Nedley and it will be fine to talk to me and Wynonna,” she have got a smile in her voice as she mentioned her sister knowing that Wynonna isn’t the ideal person for family-issues. But which one of them was that?

In the meantime Waverly had of course but secretly informed her mother in law about the progress:

Waverly: Perdita! I gave Nicole your number in the morning. She didn’t refuse it. Give her some time. – Waverly.

Perdita Haught: Thank you, Waverly. You're literally an angel. I hope to get to know you a little more soon.

The evening was reserved for talking about the past and maybe some perspectives for the future could be found? Rachel, Jeremy and Doc came over for dinner and they had their official reunion with Wynonna and Alice. Wynonna and Waverly had prepared some vegan chili together. Alice who had been separated from her father for three weeks now couldn't let go of her father and sat on his lap all evening.

In the meantime Wynonna had moved with Alice to Gus’s house outside the Ghost River Triangle. Doc had came back to Purgatory to run Shorty’s. So they were separated from each other from time to time.

Alice loved everyone. None of them could resist her charm. She really was a charmer for her young age and she was cheeky. Calling Jeremy a nerd, idolized Nicole being a police woman, talking to the unborn child in Waverly’s belly, playing hide and seek with Rachel, loves dressing up like a fairy tail princess, wanting to marry her father and her mother too.

But while the evening continued, more and more details came out, from Nicole’s past. Everyone had another advice for Nicole.

Waverly was shocked by all of it and assumptions and how much was not at all clear.
“You have to talk to her! Clearly. You have to. You should know what happened to them and why they acted like that back then. Nicole, you know our family story. Nothing is without a reason.”

“You should be aware that there are always two persons involved in a relationship. Maybe things will become clearer when you find out more about your dad,” Wynonna said.

“It seems to me that your mother’s regretting some things. I can feel that. And I know, people can change,” Doc insists.

“If it hurts too much, you should not force yourself to do it,” Rachel worried and Jeremy was of the same opinion as Doc.

The situation was emotionally exhausting. Everything backflash hit Nicole more than she ever dreamed about. So she went to bed earlier that the others.

***

“I miss Michell,” Waverly mumbled into Wynonna’s shoulder when they had made themselves comfortable on the sofa later that night.

“Me, too, baby girl… me, too.”

***

She wakes up an finds the bed she’s lying in empty and cold.
“Waverly?”
The house is dark and also cold. She can see her breath, when she exhales.
“Waverly?” she asks again. Her voice echoes. It seems it hits the walls and shout back hard at her.
“Waverly!?” she’s shouting now and the walls begin to sway and crack. Panic raises. When she walks to the front door and opens it a sudden light blinds her.
Her father’s angry face appears in her vision and his fist hits her hard. She stands on a cliff, her gaze into a void and she falls.

Her mother’s sad expression the same way as she faced her before. Everything is fogged. Children laughing, it is springtime, the sun is shining, a van is rolling, the taste and smell of the sea’s filled the air she’s breathing in, sleeping in a tent for the first time, their hippie-housemates form Houston partying.
She’s at cliff again, she falls and…

Desperately arguing with her parents about throwing boarding school, trouble with her teachers, her first girlfriend broke up with her.
It is as if the cliff is running to her fast, maybe she is running to it, she cannot prevent it and not herself and she falls and…

She runs away from a sharp claw which is haunting her. She feels endless fear crawling up her mind and she runs. Runs into a consuming void. She hides in a canoe. Inside is a depressing darkness, she feels deaf, mute and blind.
She’s on the cliff again. There’s the void again.
She falls off the cliff again and there is a dull thud.

She woke up and gasped. It was the bumping noise which woke them up the morning before. Alice ran around on the second floor, making clear she was up to her feet and ready for adventures.
Slowly these realisations came into Nicole’s mind and she take a deep breath.

She didn’t open her eyes yet, just searching for Waverly in the bed and found her. She pressed herself against the smaller woman and began to sob.

“Baby, what is it?”

“I had a terrible night… .”

“Babe, don’t say your nightmares are back?”

***

It costs her several overcomes till she tipped the few words into her phone: Would like to talk. Where can I find you?

***

She swallowed hard as she saw her mother sitting on the bench in the small park near the motel. It was near the highway outskirts of the town.

She was not in her uniform like the last time they met. Their eyes met, but Nicole looks away immediately. She sat down next to her mother, looking into the sky.
It’s a warm and sunny day and the wind whirls up the dust of the dry earth from time to time.

“I’m glad you came.”

Silence.

Nicole looked at her without any expression, she exhaled and then looked up to the sky again, as if she would search a response up there.

The elder woman looked up at her daughter with raised eyebrows and began to speak again: “You became so mature. You've became what you've always wanted to be, a cop. The sheriff. Which means that you’re doing your job very well. You are as tall as your father was. And handsome…, attractive. You started a family. Waverly… she’s literally an angel, and you’re expecting a child together… .”

Nicole shrugged her shoulders.
“This is not literally, she is in fact. And I don’t want you to compare me with him.”

Should she tell her all what’s going on in Purgatory? Should she tell her the truth about Waverly being an half-angel, about her being the angel-shield, about Wynonna being the heir and all what happened since she came to this god damn town. She smirked to herself as she thought about all the madness with the revenants and Bulshar and the garden, the many times she nearly died or literally died? What a madness. And now, she was angry about a lost mother?

But it still hurts. Deep down in her heart it hurts so much.

“I’m sorry, Nicole.”

“Sure. You’re sorry… but this isn’t easy for me.”

“I mean, I will no longer compare.”

“Why are you here? What do you want from me? Do you need money?”

“I want to tell you my story.”

“Why should I listen?” Nicole was between ignorance and painful curiosity.

“Why were you coming?”

Yeah, why was she here? She didn’t really know. It was like an invisible force that leads her to face her mother. She had thought about her childhood memories the whole day. There were not much, but there was that small tiny prick like from a splinter in sensitive skin which made her nervous about her mother. Which made her worried about her.

“When I meet you father, I was 15,” Peridta started her story without request.

“I was not very interested in school and was not a good learner. He was older than me and he seemed to be so cool and wise. He was kind of a philosopher. In my naïve view, you know? He had a car and knew a lot of things. We first met each other on a concert at the local youth club. I was head over heels and I think he noticed it soon. He took me up from school one day and we began dating. He took me on trips to the sea in his van. That impressed me. I often had trouble at home with my parents. And once when we had one of those endless fights, I went to him. And I stayed. I felt saver by his side that by my parents side.

He was charming, but also manipulating. I was young and insecure. At the beginning he often made fun at my interests. He figured out all my insecurities. He played with it. He told me all the things I seem to be not capable of and that he wanted to help me to become more self-confident. But the opposite happened. He always praised me, but at the same time he put me down and made me small. I would be useless, stupid and had nothing to show for it. I had no friends, except his friends. He alienated me from my former friends, because he was jealous about everyone who gets close to me. And the truth was, that he made me throw school. He told me he would be successful with his horticulture.
But he was a born lazybones. When I got pregnant and his project failed at the same time, he blamed me and I believed him. True, he didn't want children, but he didn't take responsibility for his actions either. He made me doing absolutely everything, because at some point I was afraid that he would leave me, would leave me alone with an infant. He made me feel like this. I believed it. When you were born he got jealous, too. It's actually a miracle that he didn't do anything to you. He withdrew, became venomous.”

“This story of yours is not very much about you, you know?” Nicole had listened carefully to Perdita’s words. Somehow she felt guilty, although there was no reason to. Maybe she felt sorry for her mother.

“So you see, maybe I’m not really have a story of my own. I was never really a person. Did not develop myself. I was only the pendant to him. Only when I came into jail, I was thrown back to my empty self. I felt that I was just a shell with nothing left inside. I had to hardly think about what had made me the person I am or that bit of a person I found when I was alone with myself in a cell.”

“What was it?”

“It was you. My precious one. My only. And I regret my absence towards you.”

Silence.

“What was that thing about the drugs?”

“He started dealing with weed, as you can imagine. Nothing bad, just for some friends and guys in the neighbourhood. He still had some normal odd jobs, but it became worse over the years. He dealt with mescaline and later cocaine, which was the worst.
We didn’t send you to boarding school, Child protective service took you to you greater good. It broke my heart, but your father told me, it would be better. And once again I believed him, I obeyed.”

“I always knew he was a dick.”
Nicole felt a whirlwind of emotions rise up: guilt, pity, and so much anger. This man, he deserved it, she thought. Normally she wasn't like that. Basically, Nicole felt that everyone should deserve a second chance if they meant it, but there was an exception here. He has not only shattered her youth, but also completely destroyed this woman's life. She was stunned.

“I was so emotionally dependent on your father. I couldn't make my own decisions anymore. I was always afraid of doing something wrong. Firstly I wasn’t involved in his activities, but then… .” Her voice broke and she laid her head into her hands and sobbed.

Nicole stared at her, unable to move.

Perdita recovered the next moment and whipped some tears away. “You have to know, in jail and I got therapy and rehab, I got education and training. That life with your father, it was all so wrong. My whole life. I’m not over it yet, but I want to be some day. I have been to the saddler and asked him for a job. I thought about that… I would like to stay here. It’s calm and contemplative here. Better as it is in the city. It could be good for me, to come down from all what happened the last few years. If you… If you don’t min-, I don’t want to bother you, you know.”

“T-The saddler?”
The saddler was a Ghoul, she thought. A good saddler but a frickin’ scary Ghoul.

“Yeah, I learned leatherwork in jail. It was a certified training.”

“W-Wai… Wait. You want to stay here? In Purgatory?”

“..as I said…”

Nicole found that all this information overwhelmed her.

“You should know…,” her voice trembled a little bit, “that this is not a normal small town in the middle of nowhere. And I don’t mean that there is the Canadian border just a few miles away. This town is different. Yeah, it became a special and liveable place for many… creeds. You know, I’ve became the sheriff. This place means everything to me. But it’s difficult here sometimes,” she surprised herself at her nearly frank words – but they were absolutely true, except that they weren't creeds, they were demons.

“I’ve already noticed that and I just asked myself if there would be also a place for an old, broken lady like me to start again? I just asked myself if this is possible.”

She became emotional now. All in all it was a little bit so much for her again.
“I don't know if this is possible. To be honest, I don’t even know if I can't trust you, if you really love me. I don’t even know you. You can tell me much about all this, but… I can not proof, but I can also not trust either. Not yet. So… ,” she spoke in desperation.

She still didn’t know what to think about her mother came back to her life. That they would develop a relationship, like Nedley said. This all seemed to be bizarre and strange and unreal.

Again she ran away.