Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Are you sure no one’s coming back today?”

“Yes,” Langa went to kiss his lips, and Reki almost melted against him if it weren’t for his rising anxiety. When he didn’t kiss the other man back with the same amount of vigor, he stopped. “Yes, Reki. No one’s coming back until tomorrow,” Langa reassured. Releasing his arms from where they had been previously pinned on the wall, Langa gently took his hand and pressed a kiss on it before leading him to the bedroom where Reki had been countless times before.

He looked around and noticed that nothing had changed from the last time he had been there. Langa still had the same king-sized bed with the same blue sheets and matching curtains. The same pictures still hung themselves on the walls, smiling faces that always looked back at him every single time Reki was there.

This is wrong, they told him, expressions always unchanging. But who could blame them because yes yes yes what he was doing was wrong what they were doing was wrong but he was already in too deep he can’t stopstopstop-

“Reki,” Langa whispered against his lips, demanding all of his attention from the people on the walls and from his own mind. Another kiss, and then he was being pushed back until the back of his knees felt Langa’s king-sized bed against them. Another kiss, but this time on his neck on that one spot that Langa always managed to get to that he knew made his knees weak and suddenly he was being pushed on Langa’s king-sized bed that was made for two but always felt so big whenever he was there. “Reki,” he said again, crawling over him while kicking off his shoes, Reki doing the same. Langa crawled on top of him and sat up. Reaching for the hem of his shirt, he pried it off with practiced ease, and yes practiced ease because they had already done this so many times that he already knew the next step was to unbutton his jeans and shake them off with his boxers and try to kick his socks off. Reki craned his neck to get a better view, because Langa was beautiful with gorgeous pale skin that only looked messed up when he was with him and left bruises and love-bites in places that nobody could see.

Langa was beautiful.

Craning his neck a little more, Reki looked at the man before him, trying to ignore the people on the walls as he did so.

They stared back at him. This is wro-

And suddenly his head had returned to the bed, Langa now attacking his neck and filling it with kisses and marks. Turning his head to the side to give the man more room, his eyes landed on the frame sitting beside the bed on the table.

Reki, this is wrong, Haru said. Haru’s smiling face pierced his soul, all while looking just as beautiful as Langa with their matching white wedding tuxedos while they held onto each other. Just for a moment, he took his eyes off of Haru to look at Langa and god he was so pretty holding onto Haru and mirroring his smile on his own face. This is wrong, Haru repeated.

All Reki could do was stare at the frame.

This is wrong, he told himself as Langa began to strip him of his own clothes.

—

“Langa,” he remembered saying. His heart was beating so fast that he felt the tremor in his entire body. “I’m in love with you.”

—

It was always after that he felt the worst. Laying in bed while snuggled up against Langa after being loved for hours by him. The happy memories that Langa and Haru had shared throughout the years hung on the wall looking back at him after what he had done.

Disgusting! You’re disgusting!

Reki turned away from Langa and back to the wedding frame beside him. Haru was silent this time, as if he didn’t need to say anything because he knew that Reki knew that this was wrong.

He sat up, Langa’s hand sliding down from his chest down to his lap. The other man, well, technically Reki was the other man, continued to sleep peacefully. He envied him a little. How could he sleep so soundly after what they had just done? Again, Reki turned back to the picture, and, again, Haru stayed silent, only looking back at him with his smiling eyes.

He always tried to avoid looking at the picture, if he was being honest. The image filled him with so much heartbreak, more so than guilt, because Langa would never really be his, not in the way that he was Haru’s.

Langa’s wedding photo was everything he couldn’t have.

“Mm,” Langa groaned beside him, feeling up his body once again. “Come back to sleep,” he said, trying to bring Reki back down to the bed by the shoulder, and Reki almost cried because he was always to sweet after and never blamed any of this oh god he just loved him so mu-

Haru’s face popped back into his mind. He turned to look at the frame again. Haru only stared him down, as if he was almost daring him to turn back to Langa, his Langa, turn back to his husband back into his bed and try to forget what he had done.

“Actually, I think I should leave,” he heavily sighed and hoped Langa hadn’t heard him do that. Gently prying himself away from him, he stood up and began to gather his scattered clothes on the ground.

“Reki, I promise you,” Langa told him from behind, “Haru’s not coming back until tomorrow.”

“I have plans,” he lied. He hated doing that to him, actually he hated doing that in general, because he made him feel dirty and slightly guilty, but wasn’t he already committing a bigger sin? “Work plans.” He sat on the bed to put on his shoes, and almost immediately Langa’s naked body pressed against him, arms wrapping around his middle.

A tiny peck on the neck, on the spot that Langa always managed to get.

“Can’t it wait?” This time, a kiss on his ear, “stay with me a little longer.” And fuck, he almost took him up on that offer, almost undressed himself to go back to Langa and Haru’s king-sized bed just to have Langa for just a bit longer and pretend that he had everything he wanted.

Haru flashed into his mind, just for a second.

He tried to chuckle, “No, it can’t wait, actually.” And he finished tying his shoes. Getting up to leave, he turned back to look at Langa one last time. “I’ll see you next time?”

Langa smiled back, a much softer expression than the one in his wedding photo. He crawled over to give him a long peck on the lips that left him a little broken.

“I’ll see you next time,” he told him.

—

“You’re in love with me?” Lange brightened up, eyes wide with surprise and excitement that Reki was almost hopeful that everything would be okay and they really would be together infinitely-

“You can’t be in love with me.”

—

Work was becoming increasingly harder and harder for Reki, but he didn’t mind.

His design company was getting more and more traction, and his sales had gone up so much that his team had started staying after hours. It was exhausting, in all honesty.

But it helped keep his mind away from Langa and Haru.

“Reki!” a voice snapped him away from his computer. He had been working on his latest commission for some famous politician that he didn’t know about or care about. “Wow,” he turned to the owner of that voice, “is that the tux for that senator?”

“Oh, um,” Erika looked down at him from where she was standing, but she wasn’t looking back at him. Instead, she was staring at his computer with awe. “It is. But I’m not sure how I wanna finish it.”

“You mean it’s not done?” she said in disbelief. “I thought it was, it looks amazing!”

“No, not yet,” he laughed, “it’s missing something.”

“Ahh, what’s it missing?”

That’s what he was trying to figure out. “I’m not sure.”

“Well,” Erika turned his chair around, away from his computer and towards her, by taking a firm hold on his shoulders, “if you ask me, I think it looks perfect this way.” Leaning in a little closer, she stared him right in the eyes. “Everything you design is perfect, Reki.”

A hint of relief washed over him, only to be ignored by his crippling anxiety. He tried to smile back at her. “Thanks,” he said, “that means a lot.” And it really did. Erika had been the first person he had recruited on his team, and she never failed to show any support. She was also the only person to believe in his small, but growing, company from the very beginning. “Did you need something, actually?”

“Oh, yes!” she realized and handed him a mocha frappuccino. “This is for you, aaaand,” she paused, doing that little thing where she would create momentum before giving Reki amazing news, “someone’s here for an interview.”

“What!” His heart almost leaped out of his chest in the same way he jumped out of his chair. An interview? Someone was here to interview him? “Who?”

Erika smiled at his reaction. “You know that fashion magazine, Forever U? They sent someone over! To interview you!”

“Holy shit!” he panicked. How had a magazine that big found out about his small design company anyway? Had it been that influencer from a few weeks ago? The senator he was currently working on?

Holy fuck!

What was he going to say? How was he planning to respond? How was he supposed to think straight!

“Reki,” Erika said, popping the straw of his mocha frappuccino in his mouth, “I knew you were gonna panic,” she giggled. “That’s why I brought the drink.” Reaching down to bring Reki’s hand to hold the drink, she made sure he was holding it steadily and began to play around with his hair. “Now, don’t be nervous,” she reached into her back pocket to bring out a small, green comb and tried to fix his crazy hair. “You know this company and you know what you’re doing. Try to relax,” yeah, right, “when you get nervous, your body starts to shake and then you start to stutter. Don’t let them know you're nervous.” And suddenly, his face was in her hands and she was bringing him down to her height to look directly into her eyes. “You’re perfect,” she softly smiled, “you’ll do perfect.”

He felt his cheeks warm up the tiniest bit. “Thank you,” he took another sip from his drink and gathered the woman in a giant hug. “What would I do without you, Erika?”

“Hmm,” she nuzzled her face against his shoulder, a cute gesture, he thought, “probably have a panic attack.”

He snorted, she was probably 100% correct on that.

“Now, go,” she patted him on the back, “go be perfect.”

—

The excited heart beats from earlier had halted and quickly turned into erratic and panicked throbs. “Wha-what do you mean?”

“I-” Langa hesitated and bit his lip, like he didn’t want to tell Reki and break his heart (actually, that’s what he told himself whenever he thought about this moment). “I’m seeing someone.”

Chapter Text

“Thank you, Kyan-san,” the interviewer smiled politely, standing up from her seat, Reki mirroring her actions. “It’s been a pleasure speaking to you.”

“Ah, you, as well,” he smiled and held out a hand.

“You can expect the interview to be published in next week's issue of Forever U . I’m sure it’ll get a positive response,” she shook his hand, and he almost felt bad because his palms had started sweating towards the end of the meeting. 

“I’ll be waiting for it!”

Exiting the small room that he and his team often used for conferences and conjuring up ideas, Reki and the interviewer headed towards the doors of the tiny office that was more of a studio apartment, but he liked to think of it as a beginner’s office. 

“No need to walk me all the way out, Kyan-san, I’m sure you still have work to do.” 

“Are you sure?” he asked, even though he was sure that his legs would give out if he tried to walk down the steps of the building from all the sitting and nerves. 

“Of course,” she walked out of the doors, looking as professional as when she walked in. “Make sure to look for the next issue next Friday!” And with that, she went out the doors of the tiny office.

Reki let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding in . It was done . Finally, now he could go back to his desk and stress about that senator’s suit and try to distract himself from Langa and Haru but mostly Langa because lately he's been thinking about him more than usual and he could feel him taking over every second every moment that he was awake

“Reki!” a group of voices rang out loud, successfully distracting him from his thoughts on Langa because once his mind wandered towards him it so so so difficult to stop

“How did it go?”

“What did they ask you?”

“ Did you talk about us !”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Erika pushed Hina, Sato, and Riku away from crowding him. “Let him breathe first!” The other three backed off, but continued to look at him expectantly. Who could blame them? They were probably more excited than he was about the interview. They had been waiting for the company’s big break since they started working with him. “ Soooooo ,” Erika gave him an innocent look, “how’d it go?”

He chuckled at her. “It went… it went well.” It wasn’t a total lie. No, no, it was mostly the truth, so maybe technically not a lie . For the most part, the interview went smoothly. Erika’s little pep talk had helped him calm down tremendously . He had been able to answer the questions easily and had even cracked a couple of jokes that made the interviewer laugh. It was the end that made him nervous.

“Now, Kyan-san, you are by no means an ugly man.”

“Oh, um, thank you,” he said, shyly scratching the back of his neck. 

“So, I’m sure a lot of people would like to know after seeing your picture,” she paused, but unlike Erika, he didn’t think she would say something amazing or surprising. “Are you currently seeing anybody?”

He almost choked on his saliva. Well, actually, maybe, yeah pretty much? He was sleeping with a married man, so no? He and Langa had never discussed what they were , but what could they be? A married man and his male mistress? Fuck buddies? He couldn’t exactly tell the woman in front of him that. 

“Nope!” he tried to laugh, a little too forcefully, however. “Don’t have the time for it, you know? Being in charge of most of the designing and all. This job keeps me busy!”

“But did you talk about us ?” Riku loudly exclaimed. “More importantly, did you talk about me ?”

Hina harshly elbowed Riku in their side, everybody in the room laughing at their pained reaction. 

“Of course I talked about you, I mean, I talked about all of you.”

“As you should!” Riku proclaimed, throwing themselves back when Hina attempted to slap them in the head. 

“Do you know when we can read it?” Sato asked him quietly in between Riku and Hina’s mini fight and Erika’s laughter. His eyes were looking off to the side, away from him, trying to look as if he didn’t care. But deep down, Reki knew that he was just as excited as everyone else.

Wrapping his arm around Sato, who pouted at the gesture but didn’t make a move to get away, Reki squeezed him lightly in a hug. “I was told it was being published next Friday.”

“Holy shit!” Erika, who had somehow heard him over Riku’s pained yells, squealed with wide, excited eyes. “Next Friday! That’s in” she took a second to count the days on her fingers and when she finished she eagerly held up her hands in Reki and Sato’s faces, “eight days!”

Hina let out a happy gasp from where she was pinning Riku on the floor. “Oh my gosh!” she smiled. “We have to celebrate next Friday!”

Riku yelled out from under Hina’s grip, playfully laughing despite his position. “Drinks for everyone!”

—

“S-seeing someone?” Who could Langa be seeing? How could Langa be seeing someone without Reki finding out? They spent every moment of every day with one another, when did he ever have the time to see someone and go on dates and hold hands and all that other couple stuff that Reki always dreamed of doing with him?

“Who?” he asked hesitantly.

Although, he was sure he didn’t want to hear his answer.

—

Chapter Text

“Cheers!” they all yelled, followed by the little clinks! of their beer glasses. Sato and Riku began chugging their drinks almost immediately, slamming the glasses harshly against the table when they were emptied.

“Excuse me!” Sato called over his shoulder to a nearby waiter. “More beer, please!”

From beside him, Erika laughed. “Ahh, Sato. You’re so much fun when you’re drinking!” 

“Too bad he’s a lightweight,” Reki chuckled. Already, Sato’s cheeks were flushed pink from his first drink. Reki guessed it would be another three glasses before he was fully drunk. From across the table, Hina and Riku linked arms to down shots, gagging in the aftereffect. Erika and Reki laughed at them. 

“ Ugh ,” Riku wiped their mouth with the sleeve of their shirt, “ god , tequila.”

“You know we have napkins here, right?”

“That’s not important right now, Hina,” they waved off. They turned away from the rest of the group to rummage through their bag and pulled out the latest issue of Forever U . In the corner, right towards the bottom of the page, Reki’s small picture was plastered on the front cover. “Todayyyy,” Riku began, standing up so that everyone could have a view of them, “we are here to give thanks to our leader and CEO, Reki-sama, for bringing us to glory!” Riku raised the magazine above their head, turning themselves from side to side so that everyone could get a view of it, even the other patrons of the restaurant. “Our thanks! Oh, gracious, handsome Reki! Our fabulous, kind leader with biceps that could crush my head if they ever felt like it!” They began to clap their hands and encouraged everyone in the building to do so as well. 

“Reki! Reki! Reki!” they began chanting. 

Reki hid his face in his hands, feeling his cheeks heat up. God , Riku could be embarrassing when they wanted to! He felt mortified .

But also kind of flattered about the biceps part.

“Awww, Reki! Don’t be embarrassed!” Erika tried to pry his hands away from himself with her entire strength, despite the fact that Reki was much stronger than her. “Ugh! Why the hell are you so strong anyways?” She had given up trying to remove his hands and had instead chosen to tickle his sides, which had him making attempts to inch away and keep his hands where they were. He struggled to keep in his laughs, shaking away Erika’s wandering hands with his elbows until he couldn’t take it anymore and took his hands off his face and pushed her away. 

“Speeeech! Speeeeech!” Sato slurred, raising an empty glass in the air that threatened to fall because of his loosened grip. Reki looked at the five other empty glasses surrounding him. Huh , so this time it took six glasses to get him fully drunk. Reaching across the table, careful not to move any of the pilates of food, he took the glass out of his hand to place it on the table before it decided to fall on the ground. 

Hina wiped Sato’s face with a napkin gently. “Sato’s right! Say something!” 

Everyone turned to look at him, even Drunk Sato.

“Ummm,” he laughed nervously, eyeing everyone’s smiling faces, mostly a little pink from the alcohol. “Thanks?” 

Everyone around him erupted into laughter at his speech, and Reki found himself laughing along. Sato’s drunken slurs, Riku and Hina bantering without any regard for the people around them, and Erika laughing at Sato’s antics, the celebratory night was almost perfect.

Almost.

Reki couldn’t help but wonder what the night would have been like if Langa had been there. Would he have laughed at the way Sato acted after chugging so much beer or at Riku and Hina having pointless arguments over the smallest things? Would he have small conversations with Erika the same way he did?

If it were Langa instead of Erika next him, would he have snuck small, but meaningful, touches? Maybe hold his hand under the table and give it small squeezes every once in a while, or place a hand on his leg, rubbing along its length in a suggestive manner. Would he have whispered in his ear, suggesting to leave the party early and find the nearest hotel to have his way with him? Or maybe even take him back to his apartment because Reki still lived with his mother and sisters? 

Yes, maybe that last one. Take him right back to his apartment and throw him on the king-sized bed that he and Haru shared.

Okay , Reki sighed guiltily, maybe not that one .

“Hey,” he felt a hand on the upper part of his arm, lightly squeezing his bicep, “are you okay?” Erika asked, a worried frown on her face.

He returned her gesture by squeezing her hand with his own. “Yeah, of course!” He tried to smile at her, a little guilty for making her worry on such a joyous night. “Just a little tired.” It wasn’t a lie, he was tired. 

Tired of sneaking around all the fucking time.

“Ohhhh,” Erika nodded understandingly, “if that’s the case, then-”

Bzzt! Bzzt! Bzzt! 

Reki jumped at the sudden vibrations on his phone, startling Erika in the process. He fumbled to get his phone from his back pocket, a little embarrassed for scaring the woman.

Langa , his phone read. He felt his heart leap at the name on his phone, before telling it to calm down. 

“I should take this,” he told Erika, quickly standing up and rushing out of the restaurant before his phone stopped buzzing. He probably looked stupid, he realized, answering the call of a married man with so much glee, but oh well .

“Hello?” he answered once he was outside.

“ Congratulations!” Langa yelled through the phone.

“Um, what?” he laughed, although a little confused by the greeting.

“ Your magazine interview! ” he laughed. “ I just finished reading it! ” 

He felt his cheeks heat up and his heart race a bit. How had Langa found out about the interview? Had he been looking on the internet, scrolling through different sites until he saw his name? Or had he simply looked up his name now that his company was becoming bigger? The idea had him excited. Maybe Langa had wanted to see how he was doing, but had been too shy to ask! Sweet, beautiful Langa wanted to know about hi-

“ Haru saw it at the convenience store and brought it home. ” He felt his heart sink at the mention of Haru, but was also a little disappointed that Langa found out through Haru. “ He says ‘congrats,’ by the way. ”

“Tell him I say ‘thanks.’” And Langa did just that. A faint voice away from the phone gave Haru his “thanks.”

A giggle, a deep laugh, and some light words being exchanged. It was painful, to say the least, and Reki didn’t know why he continued to listen or take the phone from his ear and just hang up and go back to his almost perfect dinner and almost perfect night and almost perfect life where he didn’t need to focus on Langa and Haru and instead down shots of vodka and giant glasses of beer and laugh at Sato’s drunken slurs, Riku and Hina bantering without any regard for the people around them, and Erika laughing at Sato’s antics

“We should celebrate!” came Langa’s once more through the phone, now completely focused on Reki. “Let's go out, just the two of us.”

Just the two of them . What did he mean by that? Was he suggesting going out in public instead of staying in that king-sized bed he shared with Haru? 

The thought made him excited, the idea of spending time with Langa sounded like a dream that he never wanted to wake up from.

“ I’ll treat you? ” Treat him to what? A nice dinner date? Maybe Langa would take him to Joe’s restaurant

“ You’ll treat him? ” Haru’s voice came booming out towards him.

“ Yes?”

“ Aren’t you gonna use my card anyways? ”

“ ...well, technically, yes.”

“ So I guess I’ll be the one treating Reki .”

Oh , Reki thought. Of course it would be with Haru’s money. Langa didn’t work. Reki remembered the reason why. 

I’ll stay home, so when Haru comes back, I’ll be there… waiting for him.

Suddenly, the idea of spending time with Langa sounded more like a nightmare.

“Ah, you don’t have to do that.”

“ Don’t worry about it, Reki! Haru’s fine with it. ”

“No, no, it’s fine, really. I mean, I’m already celebrating with my team, so-”

“ So you should celebrate with me next! Please? ”

“Ahhhh…”

“ Please, Reki? When was the last time we hung out? Just the two of us? ”

Well, maybe since the last time I was in your bed, Reki wanted to snarkily reply, but he was pretty sure that’s not what he meant. But now that he thought about it, when was the last time they hung out? Definitely longer than a year, and definitely longer than he could think of. But, he vaguely remembered, it was definitely before the wedding.

He felt a newfound anger that hadn’t been there a few minutes ago. The sudden urge to tell Langa to simply fuck off and hang up the goddamn phone hit him like a bat. Hanging out? Fucking bull. Go hang out with Haru instead . 

“ Please? ” he once again pleaded, “ it’ll be fun! I promise! Reki, please? I miss spending time with you. You can’t see me, but I’m on my knees now. ”

Reki sighed. He ran a hand down his face in frustration. What the hell was he supposed to do when he asked him like that?

“Okay… fine.”

—

“There’s a guy… at S.” Langa said shyly. He kept his head bowed, but through the tiny slips of hair, Reki could see the signs of a faint blush on his cheeks and the small stretches of a smile on his lips. 

“They call him Flame.”

—

Chapter Text

“I can’t just divorce him! Do you know what we went through to get married?!”

“Yeah, Yeah, I do!” Reki yelled. He felt the nails on his fingers dig into his palm. “You couldn’t get married here, so you just went to Canada instead! You told everyone to go see your stupid fucking ceremony ! Everyone except me!” He vaguely, but painfully, remembered that day when Langa had asked him to not go to the wedding. He didn’t give a reason, he only asked, almost begged that Reki stay in Japan instead of flying out to Canada. “You wanted everyone to go! Cherry, Joe, Miya, Shadow, Oka,” he counted off the names on his fingers, growing a little angrier whenever he raised a finger. “You even told Adam to go!” And Adam did go. He recalled seeing the photos Adam posted on social media. Photos where Adam hugged both Langa and Haru tightly and wished them a happy life together in the caption. And, suddenly, Reki felt his anger deflate by just a bit. “You told Adam to go… you told everyone to go except me!”

“It would have been inappropriate!” Langa yelled back. “You were in love with me!”

“ That would of- what? ” Reki sputtered, almost unable to believe what Langa was telling him. “You think that would have been inappropriate?” he asked him. “Then what the fuck is this ?!” He gestured to the two of them with an angry wave. “What the hell would this be, then!”

Langa’s eyes widened. It was almost as if Reki’s words had shoved him back when he took a step back. He was stunned, too shocked to speak and too shocked to yell back at Reki.

Chapter Text

Reki impatiently waited on the steps of his mother’s house for Langa to arrive. 

Actually, maybe it was his house, too. He did help pay the bills…

When is he going to get here? He thought as he repeatedly checked his phone. The man had promised to arrive at 2:30 and it was now 2:45. Reki sighed. Honestly, just waiting outside for the other man had him dreading his arrival with each passing minute. Really, he still didn’t even know why agreed to hang out with Langa, even after all of his begging. Something deep inside Reki’s gut churned, something that felt a lot like regret. His legs, after bouncing up and down from his sitting position, finally allowed him to stand up and walk around the front yard. He took a glance at his sweaty palms and saw his hands twitching like crazy. He sighed once again and shoved his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but decided enough was enough. He had waited long enough for Langa.

Way too long .

Turning to go back inside, Reki couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed at Langa’s no-show. After all that begging and pestering, Langa had decided to not show up at all. 

“It'll be fun! I promise! Reki, please? I miss spending time with you. You can’t see me, but I’m on my knees now.”

Disappointment soon turned into resentment. After all that begging and all the pestering Langa decided to leave him high and dry. To do what? Wasn’t the original plan to have fun with him ? What the hell could he possibly be doing?

“Reki!” a familiar voice shouted behind him just as he stepped inside his mother’s house. Reki looked behind to see Langa, nearly bent over at the entrance of his mother’s front yard. He was hunched over, panting and red in the face with sweat slipping down his cheeks.

“I’m,” Langa gasped for air, “I’m so sorry I’m late!” He tried to stand up straighter, only to bend back down a bit. “I fell- ah, fuck !” He took a particularly large gaspe of air. “I fell off my board a couple of times coming here!” He raised his board, almost to show Reki proof of his words. “Sorry, it’s just, it’s been a while since I’ve skated.”

Reki said nothing, only eyeing Langa and the board in his hand, the one that he made many years ago that had gone through so many beefs and so many alterations to make Langa a better skater. Although Reki didn’t like it, he hadn’t skated in a while, either. A long while. And he hadn’t skated with Langa for a longer while. So why now? After so many years, why now?

“You brought your board…” he finally said. 

“Oh, yeah!” He perked up. He took his board into both hands and extended his arms towards Reki to show him it. The word FUN looked back at him. “I figured that since it’s been a while,” Langa offered a shy smile, “we could skate together.”

He stared at him, a bit in disbelief and a bit with hostility. Again, why now after all these years? “I don’t know,” he told him, ready to reject the idea of skating, “I haven’t used my board in a while…”

“It’s okay! I’m still trying to remember how to skate, too.”

What was he supposed to do? If he was being honest, skating, especially skating with Langa, didn’t sound too pleasing. It used to be everything, skating with Langa, but he had put that behind him, slowly but surely, he had forgotten what being on a board felt like once Reki had become aware of Langa and Haru. 

Skating with Langa was everything for Reki, and he had hoped that Langa felt the same.

But, for him, skating with Haru was everything.

“Ah, I don’t even remember how to skate anymore. It’s been years , Langa.”

“Then we can learn again,” he placed his board on the ground gently, almost as if the object would break if he were any rougher with it, and put his right foot on it. “Remember when you taught me how to skate?”

Did he? 

Of course he did. How could he forget? Even if he wanted to forget, those memories were still tattooed into his mind. The first time Langa set foot on a board, the first time he nailed an ollie, building a special board just for Langa, those were moments that stuck with him.

“I do,” he said.

“Those were fun times, Reki,” he said thoughtfully, “let’s have fun again.”

—

Reki wasn’t entirely sure why he agreed in the end, to skate, that is. Was it Langa’s request to have fun again, or was it his own mind requesting to go back to the way things were, before Haru, before marriage, before all of this ? 

He never allowed himself to admit, not out loud or internally, that he so desperately wanted to go back to the beginning and take everything back, his confession, his jealousy, sleeping with Langa, this regret . He wanted to take it all back and forget it ever happened.

But what would that do? With or without it, Langa would never be his.

“R-Reki! Slow down-!”

THUD!

Limbs tangled and skateboards moving away, Reki fell on top of Langa, his forehead painfully bumping against his. 

“Ow…” Reki groaned, rubbing the middle of his temple in hopes to alleviate the growing pain. “Sorry,” he mumbled out.

Langa shook his head, trying his best to sit up while Reki was on top of him. “ Fuck ,” he hissed, and raised his left hand to his face.

His bloody. left. hand.

“Shit,” Reki cursed, taking Langa’s injured hand into his own. “Does it hurt?” He eyed the large cut that started from the bottom of his palm all the way up to his pinky. He felt guilt seep into his gut. It was all his fault. He should have been paying attention, he should have gone slower, he shouldn’t have done anything he shouldn’t have said yes everything was his fault

“Reki,” he felt a hand on his cheek, “did you hurt yourself?”

Below him, Langa gave a concerned look, using the pad of his thumb to rub against the middle of his forehead. His hand continued to sit on his cheek, the skin rough against Reki’s face from years of falling off a board. He stayed silent, looking back at the man under him. 

In the midst of everything, he really shouldn’t have been ogling Langa.

He felt a blush from his cheeks crawl all the way down to his neck. Langa’s perfectly chiseled cheeks, perfectly chiseled jaw, perfectly chiseled face was only a few inches away from his. 

Reki knew that Langa was beautiful, ever since that day he first walked into his classroom, fresh out of Canada and into Japan. The girls knew, the guys knew, everybody knew that the new kid was gorgeous. 

But that was all from far away, nobody had ever seen the man up close. Not the way Reki did.

It was faint, very faint, but just above his brow, near the end of it, was a small scar that had mostly healed. A snowboarding accident, Langa had told him one day when he asked about it. He had overestimated his skills during a snowy day on one of Canada’s mountains. He needed a total of ten stitches by the end of the incident. Reki imagined what it had looked like, a long string of black thread woven into bleeding skin in contrast to his pale color. 

“ Reki ?” Langa asked desperately, and it reminded of the times they shared in bed, when Langa was so close to finishing that all he could say was his name.

God this wasn’t the time to think about that!

And suddenly Reki’s face was cupped between both of Langa’s hands.

“Reki!” Langa’s voice was laced with worry. Langa was worried about him . “Did you hit your head? Should-should we go to the hospital?”

“No, no,” he muttered, eyes trailing from Langa’s scar to his lips. “I’m fine.”

“A-are you sure?”

“I’m good, honest.” He gently pried Langa’s hands off his face and held them in his own. “But your hand isn’t.”

“Oh,” he said, as if he hadn’t noticed the cut on his hand before. “Yeah.”

“ Yeah ,” he repeated and got off of Langa and helped him stand up.

After fetching their skateboards, Reki directed them to a bench and sat the other man down on it. He silently thanked himself for packing his first-aid kit in his bag before leaving the house.

From where he was kneeled on the ground between Langa’s legs, he silently disinfected the cut on his hand. Every so often, Langa would hiss in pain.

“This takes me back,” he commented as Reki pulled out a bandage from his kit.

“Does it?” He replied without looking up.

Langa hummed. “Remember when you first started teaching me to skate?” There was a hint of a smile in his voice. “I kept falling all the time, and you would patch me up. Just like this.”

Of course he remembered.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “Just like this. Except you didn’t pass out at the sight of blood this time.”

Above him, Langa giggled. Reki looked up just in time to see him smile. 

Beautiful. 

He finished wrapping Langa’s hand, holding onto it a little longer than he should have before letting go and standing up. 

“Thank you,” he smiled again, and Reki felt his heart skip a beat. 

“No problem.” He took a seat next to Langa on the bench.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, simply enjoying each other’s company (at least, Reki hoped Langa enjoyed his company).

“There’s,” Langa suddenly said, Reki couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed at the break in silence, “there’s a new cafe in the plaza that I’ve been wanting to go to. Actually, I’ve- um, I’ve been wanting to go with you , but I didn’t know how to ask.”

There was a slight feeling of heat in his cheeks. “O-oh,” he stuttered. He felt his heart swell. “Really?”

“Y-yeah,” he fiddled with his thumbs, “we could go there now?” he suggested.

“Sure!” He immediately said, and almost instantly felt embarrassment at his eagerness. “Y-yeah, I mean, we can go.”

—

It was a quaint, little cafe between two large establishments: a hair salon and a tattoo parlor. The pink aesthetic of the coffee shop looked out of place in the middle of the gothic vibe the other two buildings were giving off.

Reki and Langa sat at a table outside of the cafe, where they had looked over a cute, pink menu before ordering.

Langa had basically ordered everything the shop had to offer. 

“ Jesus ,” Reki stared at Langa as he gulped down his food. “I can’t believe you still eat this much.”

Langa shrugged and continued to eat. “I can’t believe you still eat this little .” His eyes lingered on Reki’s plate of strawberry pancakes.

“It’s called knowing my limits. Can you even finish all of that?”

“‘Course I can,” he said, mouth full of food. He swallowed. “Are you gonna finish that?”

Reki possessively pulled his food towards him. “Who knows?” He took a sip of mocha frappe, loving the way the sweetness of the drink filled his mouth. 

He watched the way Langa enjoyed his food, always taking his time to chew every bite properly before swallowing and shoveling more food into his mouth.

“Can I have some?” Watching the way Langa ate made him crave for his food. 

He seemed to think about it for a while, as if giving Reki some of his food would result in bad consequences.

“Sure,” he finally said.

At the okay, Reki reached over, fork in hand, to take a piece of Langa’s cheesecake before his hand was slapped away.

He raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said I could have some?”

He didn’t answer him, and Reki thought he was ignored before he saw Langa use his own fork to cut a piece off the cake.

And then offered it to him.

He blushed. “That’s your fork.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s… your fork.”

“I know.”

“Your mouth was on it.”

“Yeah,” he eyed him weirdly. “Does… does that gross you out?”

“No, no!” It was the opposite, the idea excited him. “It’s just that… it’s a little….”

“If there’s nothing wrong,” Langa shoved the fork in his face, “then just eat it.”

Reki eyed the utensil with uncertainty. Did Langa not realize how… romantic it seemed to feed him? From his own fork? Or was he aware of what the act implied?

Either way, could Reki really reject Langa?

Trying to contain his excitement, Reki slowly took the piece of cake into his mouth, keeping his lips wrapped around the fork a little longer than needed. 

He could feel himself blushing.

“See?” Langa laughed. “Was that so hard?” He took back the fork and stuck it back into the cake. When he shoved it into his mouth, Reki felt faint.

They just shared the same fork!

“Since I shared with you,” Langa fluttered his eyes, “can I have some of yours?”

Reki gawked in disbelief, staring back at Langa’s innocent face before laughing.

“Okay, okay ,” he giggled. Langa gave him a victorious smile.

Reki delicately sliced one of his pancakes in half, poured a little syrup on it, and used his own fork and knife to carefully place it on one of Langa’s plates. “There,” he smiled.

Langa didn’t immediately dig into the pancake, something Reki completely did not expect. The piece of food should have been devoured by now!

“What is it? Did you want a bigger piece?”

Staring at the slice of pancake a little longer, Langa looked up at him through his eyelashes, something written on his face that Reki couldn’t define. 

“Are-aren’t you gonna feed me?”

Had Reki taken a sip of his frappe, he would have spit it out.

He laughed nervously. “W- what ?” he asked, thinking that he had misheard Langa.

“Aren’t you gonna feed me?” He repeated. “I fed you.”

“Well, yeah , but,” he tittered, “ like -”

“Do you not want to feed me?”

“I never said that.”

“Then why don’t you do it?”

“Because, well …” It would look romantic, he thought. 

“Just do it, Reki,” he cocked his head, “ please ?”

He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t.

“Okay,” he gave in, but he really, really shouldn’t have.

He reached over, but, really, he shouldn’t have , and cut the already sliced piece of pancake into smaller pieces. Reki hoped that no one saw him feed Langa a piece of pancake.

“Mm!” Langa glowed. “It’s good! Reki, Reki , feed me some more!”

He really shouldn’t have…

but he did.

—

“Ahhh,” Langa sighed, rubbing his belly in satisfaction, “that was so good .”

While Langa raved about the cafe, they were both walking on the streets in a local market. They had forgone riding their boards, deciding that the market streets probably weren’t the best place to use them.

“So,” Langa said, moving away from speaking about the cafe’s delicious pancakes, “how’s work?”

“Uh, all good.”

“Really?” It sounded like he almost didn’t believe him. “Aren’t things better for you after the interview?”

This was new territory for him. Langa had never… pried or even asked about his personal life. He had never brought it up and neither had Reki. So this was all new to him. Initially, he didn’t think Langa cared enough to ask, or just found Reki’s overall personal life boring.

“Um,” he wasn’t sure how to respond, “I guess…”

“Ohh, how?” He seemed intrigued. “Are you getting more customers?”

“J-just a few.”

“That’s great! I saw your Instagram page a few days ago. It has a million followers now!”

“Does it?” Reki couldn’t respond properly. It felt as if Langa was being genuine in his questions, like he wanted to know more about him. He was putting in the effort, so… maybe he should try and do the same. “I didn’t know,” he replied, “Erika-chan’s usually the one in charge of our socials. I only design the stuff.”

“E-Erika?” Langa raised a brow. “Who’s that?”

“Oh!” Reki almost slapped himself. Langa had never met any of his coworkers. Reki never even mentioned them. “Erika-chan works with me. We basically started the company together,” he explained. “She’s really good at photography, so she’s the one who takes pictures of our models and uploads them on SNS. Honestly, I don’t think I could have done everything without her.”

“Are you close?” There was something in Langa’s voice. Disappointment? Sadness? Reki wasn’t entirely sure.

“Yeah, pretty close,” he hummed. “We see each other all the time.”

“All the time?”

“Basically.” 

“You even hang out together?”

“Yep!” 

Langa stayed silent, and Reki wondered if he had said something wrong. He answered all of his questions with honesty, didn’t he? Or is this what he got for putting in effort?

Either way, it made him feel kinda shitty.

They walked in awkward silence for a bit. Reki kept opening his mouth in attempts to start conversations, but what if they ended like the last one?

Had Reki’s personal life really bored Langa? 

He can admit it, his life wasn’t the same as back then, when the two snuck out each night and went to S to watch or participate in beefs. He had… grown up and moved on. It sung, but that was the truth. 

“Do you,” Langa spoke up, relieving Reki from trying to find anything to say, “design anything other than clothes?”

“Ah,” he tried, his voice coming out as a croak, “no, just the clothes.”

“Oh,” he only said, and they fell into another period of painful, awkward silence.

“So,” Langa said after a while, “you don’t design skateboards anymore?”

“ No ,” he hadn’t, not since… “just the clothes.”

Langa looked at him. “That… sucks.” He kicked a stray rock over into a patch of grass. “I liked the boards you made.” He raised his board into both of his hands and flipped it, the snow beast that Reki had painted so many years ago looking at him. “Do you remember when you kept adding different things to my first board?” With a single finger, he slowly and gently traced over the word FUN , almost as if he was afraid the paint would fade away if he did it any harder. “I never told you, but I appreciated it,” he gave him a smile, “you did it to help me become a better skater, and it did , so… thank you , Reki .”

He didn’t say anything, only continued to stare ahead as he walked, the last remnants of the sun clouding his vision.

“Maybe one day,” he looked at Langa, “I’ll make them again.”

“I hope so.”

“I… had a lot of fun, building them, that is.”

“I know. You… you looked happy when you were making them.”

He chuckled. “Do I not look happy now?”

“No, that’s not it,” he shook his head, and then brought his eyes back to his board. “We were just… happy together, is all.”

They were .

Were.

Reki wondered if they could ever go back to how they were.

“Do you think,” Langa looked up from his board to turn to him.

He looked back.

“Do you think,” he repeated, “if you ever start building boards again, that I can… be there with you?”

Maybe, just maybe,

going back would be possible.

“Of course.”

—

Langa had one more place that he wanted to go to.

He had taken Reki by the hand, picking up speed and eventually breaking out into a run.

They ran past parked cars, people stopped in the middle of the sidewalk

Reki struggled to keep up

Still, he tried to match Langa’s fast pace.

“We’re almost there!” Langa yelled over the wind they created.

And Reki followed, running behind Langa and every so often tripping over nothing but his own feet.

But all of that, none of it mattered, not when Langa’s hand was tightly squeezing his own. 

So Reki continued to let Langa drag him across the streets of Okinawa, even if his legs were burning and his throat ached with dryness, he let him do what he wanted with him.

“We’re here!” Langa came to a full stop.

And Reki, he wanted to argue that they haven’t skated in years and just barely relearned how to stand on their boards without falling off at the sight of the skatepark that seemed like it sat there for years untouched. 

But Langa tugged on his hand, already taking steps towards the half-pipe that they haven’t seen in years. 

“Come on,” he insisted.

“Langa,” he laughed and yes laughed because Langa was being so unreasonable and so ready to dive head first into dangerous situations just like back then. “Do you even remember how to do an ollie ?”

“ Hell no ,” he gives him a toothy grin and god Reki could cry because how long had it been since Langa had smiled at him. “But let’s do it!” And then they were climbing to the top half-hipe, Langa momentarily letting go of his hand before reconnecting them again once they were on the half-pipe. “I’m gonna do it,” Langa smiled, so determined and so happy the way they were years ago. Letting go of his hand once more, he positioned his board before he dropped. 

And suddenly Reki was back to being 17 and watching Langa fly as high as he could.

“Reki!” Langa laughed. “It’s your turn!”

But no no no how the hell could he? When was the last time he even attempted an ollie?

“It’s okay, Reki!” Langa cheered. “You’re the one who taught me how to do it!” 

What if he got hurt?

“Reki!” he shouted. “C’mon! I believe in you!”

Maybe it was Langa’s encouraging words, or maybe it was just him being stupid, but he placed his board on the edge of the pipe

and let him self drop.

“You did it!”

but reki, he couldn’t stop stop stop his board was going too fast

and langa wouldn’t move out of the way why wouldn’t he move

“Reki!” he yelled out once again, opening his arms as wide as he could.

They crashed

And fell

Reki moaned and groaned in pain, aching all over from colliding with Langa.

But, Langa

Langa was laughing.

“Reki!” he yelled again, and at this point he had said his name so many times that it sounded like a mantra. He held on to him, arms woven around him tightly, as if Reki would get up and disappear if he loosened his hold. 

He squeezed him, tighter and tighter while he buried his head in the crook of his neck.

And then Reki laughed.

Wrapping his own arms around the other man, Reki squeezed him tighter and tighter, shoving his head in between his neck and shoulder.

Then, Reki felt it.

A tiny peck on the neck, on the spot that Langa always managed to get.

“Reki,” he said, this time as a soft whisper. 

“Langa,” he whispered back.

Langa slowly moved his face towards his. Reki knew what it meant.

As light as a feather, as gently as he could, Langa pressed his lips onto his. 

Reki felt himself tremble as Langa moved his lips, doing his best to coax him into kissing him back. He gripped the back of his shirt.

The kiss ended all too soon as Langa pulled away, resting his forehead against Reki’s. He almost begged for more. 

“I meant it, Reki,” he started, staring into his eyes, “when I said I wanted to skate with you infinitely,” he swallowed, “I meant it. But I don’t care if it’s skating or designing or-or anything . I want to be with you infinitely .”

Tears threatened to spill out of his eyes. He swallowed a painful gulp.

Taking Langa by the face, he brought his lips to his once more.

This was everything he ever wanted.

—

Langa had walked him home, leaving him with only a quick, chaste peck on the lips before leaving.

Reki was on cloud nine the entire night, rolling around in bed and muffling his squeals into his pillow, the memory of Langa’s kisses replaying in his head like a movie.

Breakfast was full of small giggles when his mother placed pancakes in front of him. His mother and sisters eyed him, almost as if he had gone insane. But it didn’t matter.

The train ride to the office had Reki covering his mouth with his hand, trying to hide the big smiles on his face. 

He entered the small office with a loud and cheerful “Good morning!”

“Morning,” Riku yawned, already set for the day’s photoshoot. 

“Sato!” Hina scolded. “Get the fuck up so I can adjust your clothes!”

Sato, from his seat on the couch, groaned. “ You get the fuck up.”

“Sato, I swear to god- !”

And then Reki was laughing.

God , he was so

So happy and giddy and excited he couldn’t contain it not even when Riku, Sato, and Hina were looking at him like he had gone crazy

Sato gagged from the couch. “You are way too happy this morning.”

“He’s right. Reki, are you on drugs?”

“Leave him alone, Riku! Look at him! He’s so giggly,” Hina turned to him. “Did something good happen over the weekend, Reki?”

“Umm,” he tried hard to contain the smile spreading across his lips oh god LIPS , “yeah, kind of.”

“You’re still way too happy this morning.”

“He’s right. Reki, did you do drugs over the weekend?”

“No!” He laughed. “I’m just… just extremely fucking happy.”

“Ohh, is that so?” Hina smirked at him, a knowing glance making his way towards him. “You’re extremely fucking happy?”

“No, more like,” a memory of Langa flashed into his mind, “more like infinitely happy.”

Suddenly, the door to the office was slammed open, Erika running through the door with a loss of breath.

“Reki!” she gasped his name out. She was hunched over, trying to regain what was lost of her breath. “I’m-” she tried to take in a large gulp of air, “I’m sorry I’m late but- holy fucking shit give me a second .”

“Jesus fucking Christ, did someone chase you here or something?” Riku furrowed his eyebrows. And, although he wanted to chuckle at their words, Reki instead chose to walk over to Erika and help her to the couch.

“Are you okay now?” he asked, squeezing her shoulder lightly.

“Yes, yes , but that’s not important!” she yelled, pulling out her phone and typing in her password. “Look!” she cried and proceeded to shove her phone in his face.

“I actually can’t see the screen if it’s that close to my face.”

“Oh shit, my bad ,” she apologized, pulling the phone back to an appropriate distance.

The first thing he noticed, as Riku and Hina crowded around him to look at Erika’s phone, was that the screen was opened up to Instagram.

The second thing he noticed, however, was that Instagram was showing a picture of himself.

And Langa.

The photo seemed to have been shot from a distance, far away from the cafe that he and Langa had visited yesterday. It was of Langa and Reki sitting across from each other, looking through the menu of the cafe that looked out of place between the gothic tattoo parlor and hair salon. 

The caption read:

omg kyan reki is literally so cute???? But who tf is that other guy HE'S CUTE TOO

The photo had over 100,000 likes.

“You’re famous now!” Erika shouted. “Do you know how many people must have read the article?” She turned the phone back to herself and scrolled for a second before showing him the screen again. “And look at all these comments calling you handsome!”

And it was true, hundreds of the comments were filled with positive comments all about Reki’s attractive looks, many of which were pointing out his biceps. 

he’s so hot i have to stan!!!!

reki marry me???

REKI PLS BENCH PRESS ME

can he squeeze me with his biceps?!? fienfjebjcew

He felt himself blush with flattery. “Holy fuck,” he muttered. 

“I know!’

“Wow, Reki,” whistled Riku, “you might not be able to go out in public anymore without having your picture taken.”

“ For real ,” Hina agreed, taking Erika’s phone from her hand to scroll through the comments. “From now on, you need to be extra careful with what you do now.”

Reki cocked his head. “What do you mean?”

“Look at this,” Hina pointed to the comments, “everyone’s watching you now. If you do anything… say controversial , it could end your career.”

“Yeah,” Riku nodded in agreement. “It could even end our careers.”

But wow Langa looked so happy looking through the menu of the cafe and he was smiling, smiling with Reki and it looked like they were on a date just the two of them-

And that’s when the realization hit him like a truck that he was lucky someone had only snapped one photo, just moments after he and Langa had arrived at the cafe.

The terrible feeling of dread filled his stomach.

“E-excuse me,” he said, making his way towards the office’s single bathroom before anyone said anything.

The moment he arrived he made sure to lock the door before letting himself fall to the ground.

Reki was lucky that people only saw those few moments that he and Langa shared. What if they had seen them feeding each other? Or what if the poster decided to follow them all the way until the end? Would they have snapped a picture of their kiss? The media would have had a field day! 

Oh, god , they would have looked into Langa and found out that he was married!

They would have known that Reki was seeing a married man.

His career would have been over before it even fully started.

What would people think of him? What would people think of  Langa ?

The familiar sting of tears filled his eyes, threatening to leak all over the bathroom floor.

“Reki!” Erika yelled, and then came loud poundings against the bathroom door. “Open the door,” she demanded, but Reki made no move to do so. “Reki, you can either unlock the door yourself, or I can use the key.”

So he did. With slow movements, he unlocked the door. 

Erika opened the door almost immediately. “Reki, what the hell is-” she began, but stopped once she saw him on the floor. “Reki,” she repeated, this time as a soft whisper. She crouched down on the floor in front of him. “Is this about the photo?” 

He nodded, curling into himself and wrapping his arms around his knees.

Erika sighed in front of him. “Reki, listen,” she placed a hand on his head, “I know it’s scary now that you have so many people watching you, I get it.” Gently, she stroked his hair, and it almost made him feel a little better. Almost . “Well, I actually don’t,” she chuckled. “But I know that having people watching your every move sounds fucking terrifying. But believe me,” she cupped her hands around his face, raising his head to meet her eyes, “I don’t think you could ever do anything to make someone hate you. You could never do anything wrong.” She gave him a sincere smile. “You’re perfect.”

No, no , he thought, I’m not. He wasn’t what Erika thought he was.

This time, the tears spilled down his face.

“That’s not it,” he sobbed, burying his face in his knees. 

“Then what is?” she asked softly. “You can tell me.”

But nonono he couldn’t because yesyesyes what he was doing was wrong what he and langa were doing was wrong but he was already in way too deep

“I can’t.”

“It’s okay if you can’t,” there was a hint of a smile in her voice, “you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, actually. But… I just want to help you.”

But she wouldn't want to help him. Not if she knew.

“It’s bad .”

“That doesn’t matter to me. Even if it’s bad, you’ll still be our Reki, okay?”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

He took in a strangled breath, full of nerves and fear. “That guy in the picture,” he struggled to say, “I’m… I’m,” and then it painfully occurred to Reki that he didn’t know what he was to Langa. Their promise of infinity could only define so much. “I’m… sleeping with him,” he chose to say.

“O-oh,” Erika said, something akin to sadness in her voice. “Th-that’s okay! Nobody here will judge you for liking guys, Reki, I promise. We all accept you! This doesn’t change anything, I mean, Riku, Hina, and Sato are all dating each other, and, well, I’m not queer or anything but you still have my support! I-I’m not sure how the media will take this, but you don’t have to tell them shit , you can still keep your life priv-”

“No, Erika,” he spoke up, interrupting her rant, “that guy… he’s married .”

Erika, she wouldn’t say anything why wasn’t she saying anything ? Was she disappointed? Disgusted that he would sleep with a married man? Why was she still silent?

“Oh, Reki,” she finally said, her voice full of pity.

“I-I know ,” he cried harder, “I-I know i-it’s bad ,” he felt his heart throb, “b-but I’ve been in love with him for so long , I-”

“Shh, Reki,” she shushed. She wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tighter and tighter . “It’s okay,” she comforted.

“I-it’s not!”

“You’re in love. It makes us do the dumbest shit sometimes.” With a light touch, she pressed her lips to his forehead.

And she held him, arms woven around him as he cried into her shoulder, sobbing out apologies to her, to Riku, Hina, and Sato, to Haru because he was so guilty he couldn’t take it anymore.

“How long,” she spoke up as the last of his tears escaped him, “has it been going on.”

He shrugged in her arms. He couldn’t remember.

She hummed. “Has he ever… tried to break it off?”

He shook his head. Langa had never attempted to end what they were doing.

“Does… he like you?”

I meant it, Reki, when I said I wanted to skate with you infinitely. I meant it. But I don’t care if it’s skating or designing or-or anything. I want to be with you infinitely.

He hoped so. “I hope so.”

“Then, Reki,” she lifted his face again, and this time he was met with a pained expression, “maybe… there’s hope for you. What you’re doing is… is wrong , yes,” she sighed, and it stung, “but, if this guy really likes you, then,” she paused, taking in a deep breath before continuing, “okay, I know this sounds bad , but maybe… asking him to divorce his current spouse… it’s worth a shot.”

At that, Reki’s heart almost stopped.

Langa had promised infinity, right?

But, if he hadn’t divorced Haru back then, would he even do it now?

“I’ll tell everyone you’re okay.” With a final squeeze, she let go of him and stood up, taking a second to wipe away the dust on her skirt before exiting the bathroom, making sure to lock it as she left.

Reki furiously wiped at his eyes. Erika’s right , he thought to himself. He needed to know what this was. He needed to know that Langa would fully be his . He pulled out his phone, sluggishly typing in the password, before going to his messages. Hesitantly, he typed out a message and hit send.

We need to talk.

—

Langa didn’t remember when it was or when it started, but suddenly Reki was no longer the one waiting for him at the end of beefs.

Instead, Haru was there, waiting and smiling for him with open arms.

—

Chapter Text

i know it's been a while, so i've decided to officially discontinue this work. i loved writing this, it was the first work i ever published here, but my mental health hasn't been the best for a while now. maybe i'll continue it, but not now. below, i've pasted everything i had written for this chapter. if you have any questions about it (bc i wrote different parts of the chap) comment down below and i'll answer them

Reki waited the rest of his work day out with little patience. Every free moment he could take he glanced at any time-telling device. His day was filled with counting down the hours and Erika giving him worried looks out of the corner of her eye. 

—

“I can’t just divorce him! Do you know what we went through to get married?!”

“Yeah, Yeah, I do!” Reki yelled. He felt the nails on his fingers dig into his palm. “You couldn’t get married here, so you just went to Canada instead! You told everyone to go see your stupid fucking ceremony ! Everyone except me!” He vaguely, but painfully, remembered that day when Langa had asked him to not go to the wedding. He didn’t give a reason, he only asked, almost begged that Reki stay in Japan instead of flying out to Canada. “You wanted everyone to go! Cherry, Joe, Miya, Shadow, Oka,” he counted off the names on his fingers, growing a little angrier whenever he raised a finger. “You even told Adam to go!” And Adam did go. He recalled seeing the photos Adam posted on social media. Photos where Adam hugged both Langa and Haru tightly and wished them a happy life together in the caption. And, suddenly, Reki felt his anger deflate by just a bit. “You told Adam to go… you told everyone to go except me!”

“It would have been inappropriate!” Langa yelled back. “You were in love with me!”

“ That would of- what? ” Reki sputtered, almost unable to believe what Langa was telling him. “You think that would have been inappropriate?” he asked him. “Then what the fuck is this ?!” He gestured to the two of them with an angry wave. “What the hell would this be, then!”

Langa’s eyes widened. It was almost as if Reki’s words had shoved him back when he took a step back. He was stunned, too shocked to speak and too shocked to yell back at Reki.

Although he didn’t say anything, Reki knew that he was right. 

Still, he wanted to hear Langa say it. He was tired of being the only one that felt guilty about what they were doing and he was tired of sneaking around and going behind Haru’s back and fucking in his bed and fucking his husband and feeling like shit over it when he couldn’t just put an end to things so then everyone else could move on with their lives and then maybe he could too and forget about loving Langa and all their memories .

Langa continued to stay silent, and it almost angered Reki that he chose to say nothing when had everything to explain.

“Langa,” he quietly said, “ what is this? ”

“It’s…” he trailed off.

“It’s what , Langa?”

He didn’t answer. Langa turned his gaze to stare at the floor instead of responding.

Reki didn’t know what it was or even why it was but everything that Langa chose to do angered him. Staying silent, making him feel guilty, looking at the goddamn floor, everything was making his anger rise until he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Langa,” he walked towards him, stepping closer and closer until they were face to face. Reki bent down, just a bit, to shove his face in Langa’s, who only continued to stare at the ground. “ Langa ,” he said again, but he expected an answer this time. “What is this?”

“It’s…”

“ It’s ?” He repeated.

“This is…”

“Inappropriate. Right ?” He sneered directly into his face. Langa went silent again, turning his head to the side to avoid Reki’s glare. Reki huffed and took a step back, running a hand through his hair in frustration. What the hell was he doing arguing with Langa? What good would come out of it? What would be accomplished if Langa admitted that this was inappropriate? 

But Jesus Christ Langa was a stubborn motherfucker and Reki should have known better. 

“It’s not like that…”

What? “What?”

Langa only repeated his words. “It’s not like that.”

Reki felt his eyes widen. What the fuck was he hearing? “‘It’s not like that’?” He repeated. “As in it’s not inappropriate ?”

Langa nodded.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Of course it is!” he yelled. “Do you know how… disgusting and inappropriate it is for both of us?! Do you realize how fucking stupid you sound? It was terrible from the very beginning!” And it was true. It sucked, it was terrible, for him from the very beginning. “First it was all ‘oh, Reki, you can’t be in love with me, I have a boyfriend’,” he mocked, and he could see the way Langa’s face twisted in… hurt, guilt, emotions, whatever! He couldn’t tell what he was thinking anymore. He hadn’t been able to for a longtime now! “And then it was ‘no, Reki, don’t come to my wedding, I’m gonna marry my boyfriend who I love oh so fucking much!’”

And suddenly Langa was in front of Reki, gripping his shirt in his hands and glaring directly into his face. “Stop it!” 

Stop it ? Now he wants to stop?

“You wanna know what the worst part of it was?” he asked Langa, and he could visibly see the way Langa’s eyes widened in realization before narrowing them towards Reki.

“ Don’t say it .”

But Jesus Christ Reki was a stubborn motherfucker and Langa should have known better. 

“The worst part was ‘hey, Reki, let me fuck you even though I have a HUSBAND !’”

“ Fuck you !” Langa loosened his grip on Reki’s collar to shove him. Reki stumbled back a bit, but quickly regained his composure.

“Why?” he asked, angling his head to the side. “Because I’m right ?” 

Langa threw him a fierce glare and curled his hands into fists, taking a step back away from him. 

“ God ,” Reki rolled his eyes, “you can’t even argue because you know I’m right . 

…

“He wouldn’t care!”

“Are you shitting me?!” Reki yelled, eyeing him with judgment. “He’s your husband! You married him ‘cause you love him! And because he loves you! What the hell would Haru think about all of this!” 

“Nothing, Reki! Haru would think nothing of this!” He growled, his voice laced with some sort of certainty that confused him.

“How do you know that? How the fuck can you be so sure-”

“Because Haru’s been sleeping with other people far longer than I’ve been sleeping with you!”

Reki took a step back, staring at Langa with wide eyes as the man let himself fall onto the couch and covered his face with his hands. He watched as Langa took deep, uneven breaths, almost as if he was trying to prevent himself from crying. Reki didn’t move, didn’t speak, the only sound that filled the room was Langa’s breathing. 

“That’s why…” Reki mumbled slowly, continuing to stare at Langa. “That’s why you…” he sucked in a sharp breath. “You were just trying to get back at him.” He felt so stupid . He should have seen the signs, should have noticed that Haru was gone too often for it to be “just work” and should have noticed the way that Langa was always so sure that Haru would never catch them. “You knew I loved you,” should have known how convenient he would have been for him, “and you took advantage of that… to get back at Haru.”

Langa quickly seized his breathing and raised his head. “No, no, Reki ,” he stood up from his seat on the couch. “It’s not like that .” He made an attempt to reach out to him.

Reki pulled away from him, refusing to meet his gaze. “You were just using me,” he stared at the ground, feeling the sting of oncoming tears. He should have known . Why would Langa suddenly want to be with him after casting him aside all those years ago? But Reki can’t help but think back to the day before.

Hadn’t they promised infinity to each other? 

----