Chapter Text
Kissing Ye Zun again is like drinking water from a clear oasis after wandering in the desert for so long that the thirst has become this all encompassing emptiness.
Zhao Yunlan knows that he’s sucking on Ye Zun’s lips too much, that he’s thrusting his tongue too insistently into the other man’s mouth. But he can’t stop desperately taking and taking.
And Ye Zun is returning all of it just as fiercely, biting Zhao Yunlan’s lips so hard that he can feel them swelling, plundering Zhao Yunlan’s mouth so deeply that he’s feeling completely devoured.
It’s too messy and too rough, nothing like the artful kisses that Zhao Yunlan prides himself on giving. But the thought of stopping makes as much sense to him as it does for a parched man to cease drinking.
He won’t stop, he can’t stop, until his thirst has been slaked.
In fact, the more he takes, the more he wants, as long dormant yearnings burst into his awareness.
Ye Zun is pressed up tightly against him, and yet he still seems impossibly far away. Zhao Yunlan urgently needs to touch more of the other man, to fill his senses with him.
(Then maybe, he won’t feel this hole inside of him anymore.)
Frantically, he pushes his hands under Ye Zun’s shirt, and oh…the feeling of that smooth skin against his palms calms something within him, even as the other man squirms and grinds his hard cock against Zhao Yunlan’s own, sending sharp bolts of arousal coursing through him.
Then Ye Zun’s hands are all over Zhao Yunlan as well, leaving white-hot tracks in their wake as they run across his torso.
Zhao Yunlan can’t help but to groan and arch back when deft fingers tweak a nipple, inadvertently breaking their kiss. Immediately, he leans forward again to chase the other man’s lips again, but he’s frustratingly held back.
He’s about to protest (and feeling the tiniest twinge of hurt), when his arms are pushed over his head and his shirt is ripped off of him.
There’s a rush of cool air against his bare skin, followed immediately by blazing heat as Ye Zun sets upon him with his wet, hot mouth — pressing kisses down his chest with his soft, silky lips; teasing his already throbbing nipples with his deft, limber tongue; nipping at his skin with his strong, solid teeth, pulling just firmly enough to set off bursts of pleasure but not enough to hurt.
All Zhao Yunlan can do is lean back and take it, completely overwhelmed by all the sensations. He hears incoherent sounds falling out of his mouth, and — dimly, in the background — something crashing over disgruntled yowls, but they barely register through the haze of arousal he’s in.
He’s so turned on by this point that it’s almost painful. So when Ye Zun starts undoing the fly of his pants with one hand (where his erection is still rubbing against Zhao Yunlan’s) while caressing his ass with the other, he almost loses it right there.
Zhao Yunlan’s certain that he’s going to come as soon as those long, elegant fingers wrap around him. It’s the release that he’s been chasing before he’d even gotten here, possibly ever since the last time they did this, and yet…
With the last remains of his self-control, he gently tugs Ye Zun’s head away and grips his hand around the other man’s wrist, stopping him from taking out Zhao Yunlan’s cock.
Ye Zun peers up with confusion written across his face. “Are you…not enjoying this?” he asks hesitantly.
“I am!” Zhao Yunlan wheezes out. “I’m enjoying it a lot! I just…” he takes in a deep breath to try and calm himself, “I just don’t want it to be over yet.”
At that, Ye Zun gives him a look so full of fondness, one that Zhao Yunlan has never seen before, that he almost melts on the spot.
Oh, but why does that hurt him so much even as it warms him? As if Zhao Yunlan’s surrounded by so much safety and comfort that he can finally allow himself to feel all the pain he’s been carrying around all this time?
Slowly and carefully, Ye Zun removes his hand from Zhao Yunlan’s fly (which Zhao Yunlan can’t help but feel disappointed by even if he was the one who asked for it) before drawing Zhao Yunlan into his arms and just…holds him.
Somehow, this feels even more overwhelming than what they were just just doing. Zhao Yunlan can feel himself trembling in theYe Zun’s embrace, as he wraps his own arms tightly around the other man, feeling the need to anchor himself.
And when Ye Zun starts carding one hand tenderly through his hair, when he starts stroking the other down his back, Zhao Yunlan barely keeps himself from falling into pieces.
God, will it always feel like this, being with this beautiful, magnificent man? Like being taken completely apart until every loose seam in him has been ripped open? Until everything he’s ever stuffed deep down inside himself comes spilling out?
With a shuddering breath, Zhao Yunlan buries his face into Ye Zun’s neck as literal tears prick at his eyes. There it is, that floral fragrance he always smells faintly on the other man. Underneath that is a metallic tang that he associates with dark energy (although curiously, he’s never detected it on his other Dixing-ren lovers) — and buried under all that is another scent that he’s sure is uniquely Ye Zun’s own.
Zhao Yunlan doesn’t know how to describe it, but something about it grounds him as he breathes it in, as it seeps into his cracks, soothing everything that it touches.
Zhao Yunlan has had many lovers. There have been countless people who have lusted after him, and even quite a few who have claimed to love him. And although he’s felt their desire, their infatuation, their longing, and even some of their affection and their care — he’s never felt this from any of them.
This feeling like he’s being protected. Like he’s infinitely precious and unspeakably valuable. Like the other person wants him and only him. Like this person knows him.
Like…and Zhao Yunlan is certain of this now…what he’s always felt from the man in his dreams.
He still has a million questions, none of which he’s yet had a chance to ask. And if his rational mind were still around, it would remind him that he needs evidence to confirm his hunches.
But in this moment, how he feels — and how he can see Ye Zun obviously feels — that’s all the confirmation he needs to completely give himself over to him. To what’s happening between them.
So when Ye Zun whispers, “Yunlan, come to bed with me,” in that melodious voice of his, he lets himself be taken.
This time, it’s Zhao Yunlan who’s first freed from all his clothes. Who’s spread out gently over the duvet. Who lies back as Ye Zun ravishes him with attention. Who sinks into pleasure as Ye Zun envelopes his cock with his wet, hot mouth. Who’s moaning and begging as Ye Zun opens him up with his deft, limber fingers.
Who’s almost sobbing with relief when Ye Zun finally enters him.
He came over here expecting the opposite, after what happened that first time. But if this is what Ye Zun wants, then Zhao Yunlan’s more than happy to oblige. He can be flexible.
In fact, somehow this feels even more right. Zhao Yunlan can feel himself completely surrendering tonight in a way that he couldn’t before, just letting his body give in without any resistance, any thoughts, any worries.
There’s just Ye Zun moving inside him, pushing him deeper into a fog of ecstasy with every thrust. And Ye Zun’s body wrapped all around him, keeping him safe, keeping him here. Keeping him steady even as all sorts of intense emotions and sensations crash over him.
Then afterwards, as Ye Zun cleans him off in the shower and dries him off with a fluffy towel before tucking him into the bed, Zhao Yunlan is enveloped in a cloud of contentment so thick that he almost feels as if he’s actually floating.
And his last thought, as he drifts off surrounded by that floral scent, with Ye Zun wrapped securely around him, is that he wants nothing more than to stay here forever.
There’s someone watching over him. He is watching over him.
His gaze feels soft and warm, like golden sunlight.
Zhao Yunlan wants to stretch out and bask in it. To relax and open up in it.
But he knows that if he moves too much, if he indicates that he’s awake, he would become self conscious and look away. So he tries to lie as still as he can and just let the attention fall over him like a comforting blanket.
He’s always watching Zhao Yunlan. He tries to do it surreptitiously most of the time, but Zhao Yunlan still notices.
If this were anyone else, Zhao Yunlan would find it a bit creepy. But not with him. Never with him.
Even that first time when he’d woken up under that intense gaze, shocked that the man was still in his apartment, back in those days when they barely knew each other, he’d felt…safe.
Protected. Cared for. Valuable. Like he was important enough to be watched over.
It made something in Zhao Yunlan settle in relief, something that he hadn’t even been aware of…
…BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!….
Wait! Not yet! Just a few more minutes!
Why is his alarm ringing anyway? He always wakes Zhao Yunlan up now…
BEEEEEEEEEP!!!! BEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!! BEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!
Zhao Yunlan struggles out of the blankets and fumbles around blindly for his personal device. Where the hell is it? Why isn’t it on his nightstand where it usually is…
Wait a minute...this isn’t his nightstand.
This isn’t even his room.
And that’s not his alarm to get out of bed.
That’s his emergency line ringing.
Immediately, he forces his eyes open and jumps out of bed. Taking a moment to take in his surroundings (right, he’s at Ye Zun’s), he locates his clothes (folded neatly on the nearby chair again) and digs his personal device out of his pants pocket.
“Hello? What’s going on?” he answers groggily, expecting Hua Yuzhu to be on the line.
“Good morning, Chief Zhao,” a soft yet commanding voice that is most definitely not Hua Yuzhu’s greets him instead. “I apologize for interrupting your day off.”
Zhao Yunlan snaps awake right away. “Not at all, Bai Da-ren. I’m sure it’s very important if you’re personally calling me.” His boss had never contacted him directly before.
“Yes, it is rather urgent,” the other man concedes. “I need you to be at the Southern Border Portal Station in an hour. Officers Chu and Dong will join you there with your equipment, and — this is very important — you must take ground transport there. Do not use the portals under any circumstances, understand?”
“Yes, very clearly.” A flurry of questions fly through Zhao Yunlan’s head, but he has a feeling that now is not the time to ask them.
“I’ll give you more information once you arrive,” Baipao-Shi adds, as if knowing what’s on Zhao Yunlan’s mind. “See you there, Chief Zhao.”
At that, the call ends.
Zhao Yunlan hurriedly throws on his clothes and quickly calls a private transport to pick him up. He only has about five minutes to get ready if he wants to make sure and get there within an hour.
It’s only as he’s stepping out into the main room that it hits him that Ye Zun has left before he’s woken up again.
Zhao Yunlan had been hoping to wake up in the other man’s arms and enjoy a leisurely breakfast together this time. And more importantly…that they would actually have a moment to talk a bit about…whatever’s going on between them.
And especially after last night, it…stings a bit…that Ye Zun isn’t here.
He knows the other man is busy, and Zhao Yunlan doesn’t want to make too big a deal of it but…it is starting to seem a bit conspicuous how Ye Zun never sticks around in the morning. If it didn’t contradict pretty much everything else the other man has done, Zhao Yunlan would almost wonder if he’s trying to send some kind message.
But then again, he thinks ruefully as his device notifies him that his transport has arrived, even if Ye Zun were here, it’s not like Zhao Yunlan could actually stay here with him.
With a sigh, he looks over at the breakfast that Ye Zun once again left for him that he won’t have time to eat. He may just have to accept that they both have hectic and irregular schedules, and work with it.
Giving the food one last mournful gaze, he walks over and pats Da Qing on the head (who…Zhao Yunlan must be imagining this…shoots him a rather miffed look in return) before finally dashing out the door.
In a way, Zhao Yunlan’s actually glad Baipao-Shi didn’t tell him about whatever’s going on, as much as a part of him is dying to know. It leaves his mind free to think about other things during the forty minute transport ride.
Like the beautiful, mysterious man who’s apartment he’s just left.
After their first meeting, Zhao Yunlan had been too busy settling in at work and investigating the case to dwell on what had transpired between them. He figured he’d just try to see Ye Zun again as soon as possible and figure it out from there.
But the truth is…he also just isn’t sure how to think about it. He’s never been in a situation like this before.
Zhao Yunlan’s relationship experience, though extensive and varied, has been rather…one dimensional. He never pursued someone beyond just a few one-night-stands or at most casual dating. Whenever people wanted more from him in the past, he’s always bailed.
The comfort of day-to-day domesticity, the security of emotional commitment, the familiarity of having someone by his side…there has only ever been one person that Zhao Yunlan has wanted that with. And he’s never been willing to share it with anyone else.
It’s occurring to him now though, that it may have been useful to have tried a more serious relationship at least once (as his mother was always encouraging him to), even if the other person hadn’t been “the one.” Then at least he’d know how to navigate the steps between “just hooking up” and…well…the kind of partnership he sees with the man in his dreams.
He knows it’s crazy to be thinking this way already about someone he’s barely met twice, especially for someone with his relationship history. Or it would be, if he isn’t so persuaded that Ye Zun might be that man.
Certainly, Zhao Yunlan has never met anyone that felt remotely like him until now. Has never felt the way he does, not even close, as he does around Ye Zun. And what was just a suspicion at the beginning now feels like something closer to…if not quite yet a conviction, certainly a belief.
But that’s the thing. Zhao Yunlan feels, he strongly suspects, he’s very persuaded, he even believes…but he’s doesn’t actually know.
Not the way that he knows the man in his dreams.
For all the years that he’s spent longing, wanting, and fantasizing about finally meeting the man (and a comparable amount of time wondering, doubting, and sometimes even despairing if he would ever do so), he’s never actually considered what to do if and when he does so. He’s always just assumed — rather naively, he’s now realizing — that they would somehow just magically come together. That they would just instinctively know that they were meant for each other.
That he would actually have to confirm it and decide what to do about it…that never occurred to him at all.
In a way, the dreams have always seemed to exist in a universe of their own, separate from the laws of reality and exempt from the usual logic that Zhao Yunlan uses to navigate the normal world. But now that the two have collided…
He sighs. Now he needs to handle it just like everything else in his life.
Zhao Yunlan stares out the window. In the last few minutes, the scenery has changed quite drastically from the gleaming skyscrapers and bustling streets that characterize the center of the colony. Here the buildings are older and shabbier, both more crowded together and lower to the ground, and haphazardly constructed without the meticulous planning of the newer neighborhoods. And there are far fewer residents out on the streets yet somehow more public security officers patrolling.
Of course, it’s still Inner Haixing. The sky is clear, there’s dark energy tech everywhere, and it’s far cleaner and way more orderly than anywhere in the Outer Territories. Still, Zhao Yunlan thinks that this area has a vibe that reminds him of those lawless lands.
Rougher. Wilder. Less bought into the great future promised by Dixing.
They’re getting closer to the border. He checks his personal device…another fifteen minutes at most. That’s how much longer he has to dwell on his personal life.
What he needs, he realizes, is a way to confirm whether or not Ye Zun is who he believes him to be. But what would that be, when Zhao Yunlan can barely remember his dreams upon waking?
What he always remembers though, what has always been his guide, is how he feels. It’s what’s been drawing him to Ye Zun after all.
And, it suddenly occurs to him, also what the other man seems to feel.
Because that’s the other part. Whatever intense emotions that Zhao Yunlan has been feeling around Ye Zun, Ye Zun seems to be experiencing something equally if not even more extreme. It’s why every time they’ve come together, it’s been this heady whirlwind of overwhelming passion and vulnerability and longing.
But Zhao Yunlan doesn’t know why Ye Zun feels that way towards him. Is it for similar reasons as himself? Or…
Wait…does Ye Zun also have his own dreams? Of someone like…Zhao Yunlan…?
He doesn’t know why, but the thought of this suddenly makes his heart ache.
It would make a lot of sense, in a dream logic sort of way. If Ye Zun really is him, then he should also have the same dreams as Zhao Yunlan. It would certainly be incontrovertible proof if he did.
Of course, this isn’t the kind of thing that he can just point blank ask the other man. No matter how he feels, he needs to know Ye Zun much better first before he can consider telling him about this.
He needs to get closer to Ye Zun. This meeting-up-just-to-have-sex arrangement that Zhao Yunlan is unfortunately so good at just isn’t going to cut it. Yes, Zhao Yunlan’s busy, but Ye Zun lives close enough to him (close enough to walk even) that he can make it work.
There’s just the matter of somehow communicating all this to the other man.
They’re reaching the river now. Once they cross over, it’s only a matter of minutes before they’re at the portal station.
Zhao Yunlan pulls out his personal device. He needs to send Ye Zun an explanation about why he didn’t eat his breakfast anyway.
But it’s what follows that he’s at a loss as to what to say.
Hey I really enjoyed last night. Hope we can do it again. That’s what Zhao Yunlan would normally say, except he knows that makes it sound like he just wants to be fuck-buddies.
What would the man in his dreams want him to say? What would he tell him to say?
He would…Zhao Yunlan doesn’t know how he knows this…he would tell Zhao Yunlan to be himself. To be direct and honest.
And most of all, to be sincere.
Ye Zun - thank you for last night.
I know we’ve barely just met, but I can already tell you’re someone special. I would really love to spend more time getting to know you better.
Unfortunately my schedule is pretty hectic, but let me know when you’re free and I’ll do my best to make it work.
Hope to see you again soon. ~ ZYL
It’s…something that Zhao Yunlan would most definitely cringe at sending to anyone else. But…
He thinks back to last night, when he felt absolutely safe coming apart in Ye Zun’s arms. To their first time, when he was convinced that he had to hold onto the other man forever.
This isn’t really that much in comparison, is it?
Before he can overthink it anymore, he presses “send” and then shoves his device back into his pocket, forcing all thoughts of Ye Zun out of his mind.
They’ve reached the portal station.
Time to get to work.