Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Wearing a binder while working wasn't uncommon for Hawks. It was the only thing keeping him from hiding from the world on bad dysphoria days. That and the threat of the Hero Commission being mad at him for hiding. Normally the Pro-Hero would only wear one loose binder when he had long days or a slightly tighter one when he was only working for a few hours in a non dangerous city. But when Hawks woke up and practically rolled out of his bed, he knew the day ahead of him was going to be tough. Tougher than usual. 

Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he eyed the pile of binders shoved in a draw next to his bed. It was the only thing he had stockpiles of. If one went missing, he'd have ten others for back up. A year prior, he had asked the Commission to build a binder into his outfit so he didn't run the risk of unsafe binding, but of course his request was denied. Like every other request. Hawks grabbed a handful of binders, putting one on and taking a deep breath. One wasn't going to be enough for the day. But what's another one? He was only supposed to be working four or five hours so he wouldn't be in too much danger of injuring his body. 

Hawks put on another one now closer to tears. He hadn't felt like this since he was 12, and now ten years later, an overwhelming amount of emotions crashed over him. He saw the same kid that curled under countless blankets, sobbing silently into his pillow while asking.. no, yelling at the universe why he had to be put in that body. Why did he have to suffer? At first he thought it was because of something he did wrong, a punishment for messing up, but when the feeling didn't leave him after a few months he did his own research. It wasn't long before he found what he was looking for.

Transgender. At first the word didn't stick to him as he thought it might've. Now looking back it was because he was in denial about it. He wasn't supposed to have anything wrong with him. The Commission was obsessed with the idea of him being the perfect hero. No mistakes, no faults, no errors. Even the smallest scratch made them pissed. But after thinking about it for a little longer, it made sense. It then took him another year to gather the courage to tell his Handler about his emotions. Emotions that weren't allowed. Hawks didn't like to think about what they did to him after that. 

Now somewhat satisfied, Hawks pulled on a third binder before getting changed into his Hero outfit. He didn't feel a lot better and in all honesty, it was a little hard to breathe. And Heroes tend to need breath to fight and do hero stuff. The pain was increasing ever so slightly the more he moved but it was bearable. He could complete the day before breaking down and entering his usual post-dysphoria day cry session. But for now, emotions weren't permitted. 

"Hawks! Great news, you'll be working overtime tonight. There's a raid on a villain's hideout downtown tonight and we need your help." Hawks internally groaned, wanting more than anything to slam his head against the wooden coffee table sat between him and his over enthusiastic intern. He put on a smile and took a painful breath, hands dug deep into his pockets as he forced himself not to show any sign of emotions other than his usual happy and cocky self. 

"Great. What time is it going down and where?" He asked, sitting back in his armchair, listening to the kid in front of him explain everything to him. All he could do for now was pray he had a chance to rest and maybe take off a binder before joining the raid. But Pro-Heroes never had such luck, and being the number two hero, luck was a shortage. 

He barely had time to answer a question the intern had before a nearby building exploded in a ball of fire. The entire building shook violently, everything on shelves, tables and other flat surfaces fell, windows cracked and broke and to top off the growing mountain of chaos, the power went out. It didn't affect the lighting too much as the sun was shining brightly in the sky, but it was an inconvenience Hawks didn't have time or energy for. 

Without hesitation, he jumped up, grabbing the intern and holding her close, protecting her with his wings as a part of the ceiling fell mere inches from where she had been standing. His heart was pounding, hitting painfully against his chest as his lungs barely had any room to move under the crushing feeling of binders and panic. Hawks willed himself to calm down as the girl he was protecting could probably hear or feel his heart. Either way, she didn't mention it when Hawks finally let her go after the building stopped shaking. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, flinching slightly when another, much smaller explosion went off. Despite being a Pro-Hero, he really hated and was scared of loud, sudden noises, even though it was part of his day-to-day life. Hawks looked back at the girl who nodded, looking slightly shaken. "I need you to help anyone and everyone out of the building. Now's the time to put what I taught you to work. Snap this if you're in serious danger and I'll come to you as soon as I can." 

Hawks handed the hero in training a feather from his wing before she ran off. The teen had a telekinesis type quirk which was ideal for all types of Hero work, but the kid had her eyes set on rescue and now she could test the waters and see what she had in her. Now alone, Hawks took a running jump out of the window, dropping a couple hundred feet to the ground, landing less than gracefully when another explosion went off, almost sending him flying into a wall. Hawks was strong but somehow the explosion was stronger. 

Ground felt less safe than his office. People were running and screaming, kids were crying and buildings were barely standing. Thick smoke hung in the air, mixing with dust from fallen rubble. The noise was overwhelming, unmuffled by the Heroes headphones as parents shouted for their kids, sirens from various emergency vehicles drowned out calls for help. Civilians ran in crowds, all trying to escape the area and avoid being crushed but with no idea of where the attacks were coming from in particular everyone was running in all directions. The sun caught on falling glass, blinding him and many others momentarily before reaching the ground. Hawks could see police trying their best to escort people away from the square calmly, but this was too much work for them. The work was too much for Hawks to handle on his own, but with other Heroes nowhere near his location, he was forced to hold his own until they arrived. 

The unorganized chaos told Hawks this wasn't the League of Villains work. It was too messy, too chaotic. The fact made Hawks feel a little better, it meant that he didn't have to fight his boyfriend enemy while he was already feeling like shit. He didn't have to hold back while fighting when he found whoever was responsible. But considering the fact no villain was to be seen anywhere, Hawks prioritized saving people. He had been frozen in place for too long and people could be in serious danger with no help. People were in danger. 

Hawks shot off, flying towards the building that seemed to be the closest to collapsing. He could see it was the cause of the thick smoke in the street below, the entire lower floor was up in flames, barely catching on the second floor. Any longer and the entire three stories would be up in flames. Hawks stood on the lamp post a few meters away from an open window and sent a flurry of feathers into the building in search of injured people. He could faintly hear people screaming for help inside, but couldn't pinpoint where they were exactly. If he entered the building, he was in danger of being crushed by falling rubble or burned alive. 

It wasn't long before the feathers returned to him, carrying out the injured. The majority of them were conscious and breathing, placed as close to the ambulances as possible. The feathers shot out in all directions again, sensing dying breaths and frantic calls for help. The villain was nowhere to be seen which made Hawks conserve his feathers. He didn't want to run out and be left stranded on the ground to fight, especially when he didn't know what their quirk was or how many were in on the plan. 

His thoughts were abruptly cut off when something slammed into his side, dragging him off the post he was crouched on. Pain shot through his chest first, then was joined by pain in his back when he was slammed into a building wall. The window next to his landing spot cracked from the nearby impact, scaring the shit out of a cat who jumped from their napping spot. Clearly it was more concerned about an overgrown bird slamming into the house than numerous explosions from outside. 

Shit Hawks, think. 

Hawks looked up to his attacker standing over him, knives in either hands as they lunged at Hawks who was sitting, leaning against the building. The hero had barely any time to react, dodging out of the way, letting the villain ram into the wall. Hawks stood up, taking a defensive stance, ready to fight when they got back up again, also using the time to analyze what quirk they might have and how they'd use it. From what he could see- which wasn't much- the unidentified villain wore a dark cloak which covered the majority of their features and they moved as if there was nothing under the cloak. Hands and legs were the only things visible. It made Hawks think of Kurogiri and how he moved. Fluid and barely there. 

The villain turned and threw the knife at Hawks, hitting his shoulder which was thankfully protected by multiple layers of fabric. The blade didn't even reach his skin so he had no issue pulling the weapon out and letting a feather take it into the sky, far from reach. His opponent didn't appreciate the loss of a weapon, instead moving to a close range attack, swinging their knife again. Hawks jumped back, wings propelling him faster than the other while his leg kicked out. The tip of his boot connected with a cheekbone, with an audible snap a villain was down on the ground. 

"How many of you are there?" Hawks asked, crouching down next to the figure. His eye caught on the second fallen blade and before any of them could react, a third person, a second villain, grabbed it. Hawks found himself on the wrong end of the blade, throat dangerously close to the tip. On the border of his vision, Hawks could see another cloaked figure standing to his side. His eyes followed them as they walked in front of him, next to the second. They also had two blades in their hands. Now was a good time for more Heroes to pop up and get him out of the situation the young hero found himself in. 

Any motion from his feathers caused the knife wielder to push the knife closer to his skin, a few droplets of blood bubbling to the surface. Hawks had one shot to get rid of the extra villain without the first noticing which seemed to be a lot harder than anticipated. If Hawks even breathed too hard, which was becoming more present as his chest became tense, the villain wouldn't hesitate to injure Hawks further. He wondered if the villain was actually going to kill him or if he was just bluffing to get the Hero to let them go without any arrests.

If the situation couldn't get any worse, the feeling of a feather snapping made Hawks flinch slightly. Snapping his feathers was a lot more painful than others realized, but it was hard to do. His intern was in serious danger and there was nothing he could do to help her. He prayed it wasn't as bad as he hoped, but the distinct sound of a building collapsing made him realize that he was honestly fucked. He couldn't even send a feather without having his throat slit. Hawks had one chance to get out and he was determined to not mess up. 

A small flick of his wing, a feather shot from the sky, piercing through the villain in the background who in turn collapsed onto the floor. At the same time, Hawks bought his hand up to smack the hand holding the knife away from his neck. His leg kicked out, bringing the villain down with surprising ease. But with everything else, no one would go down that easily. At least two villains were down, the one in the back and the one beside him who he dealt with first. Hawks looked down to where the first villain had collapsed and found the space empty. 

Shit.

A burning pain held Hawks in an uncomfortable hug. He was drowning and burning in a mass of.. nothingness. It was as if he was dropped into a bath of acid, fabric melting away in order for his skin to burn and twist into painful blisters, but unlike acid, no liquid burned through his clothes. Sound had been blocked out and light was quickly disappearing. His chest tightened, making it practically impossible to breathe and his wings wouldn't move. Feathers carrying people from buildings started to shake and fall to the ground. He was dropping already injured people, there was no way to control his quirk. That's when he started to panic. His breathing grew heavy, dark spots clouding his vision as his mind went blank. No thoughts stuck in his mind, overwhelmed by pain and fear. He was going to end up killing people, all because he fucked up his plan. The Commission was going to have his head for this. 

Just as his vision started to go, it came back just as quick. The light from the sun blinded him as his body hit against harsh concrete, his back and head taking most of the hit. He was no longer drowning in a mass of painful nothing. Before anyone else could react, he caught the people he previously dropped and safely lowered the to them floor before he focused on anything else. Someone was standing next to him, blocking his view from the building where he felt his feather being snapped. 

Eraserhead found himself standing next to Hawks, a sharpened feather against his neck as Hawks looked at him, panic filling his eyes. Before anyone could be decapitated, Hawks dropped the feather and forced on his usual expression. Eraser knew it was fake and he was in extreme pain, he heard the young hero scream from a mile away. The kid was in pain, but was trained out of showing it. 

"Are you okay? You took a pretty hard hit to the back of your head and it's bleeding." Eraserhead asked Hawks, about to use his capture scarf to hold him in place if he tried to fly off or fight again. Hawks nodded and put his hand against the wound on his head, his hand coming back a deep red. 

"I'll be fine.. My intern- she was in the building that collapsed-" Panic was in Hawks' voice as he tried to get past Eraser who put a hand on his chest to stop him. The panic was back and his chest screamed in pain, begging him to calm down and stop breathing so heavily. Eraser shook his head, about to use his own quirk on the hero.

"We got her out. She's okay, the only big injury she has is a broken wrist, everything else is just scrapes and bruises. Everyone is safe. Look after yourself for once, Hawks." Eraser sighed. Hawks reminded him of his students too much. Will work themselves to the point of collapse and then try to continue to fight. Hawks sighed, knowing he could argue against Eraser. 

"Okay, good.. yeah that's good. The commission is going to kill me. I need to go." Hawks mumbled, adrenaline starting to wear off. He stepped back, running a hand through his hair. Before Eraser could stop him, Hawks shot off, flying back to the commissions building, one city over. He could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, going insane and Hawks knew he was in a lot of trouble. He knew the fatality and casualty rate would be high as he was the only Hero there for a while. It would be too high, too high for the commission to be happy with his work despite how hard he tried. 

By the end of his shift, the pain in his chest wouldn't be his main priority and focus. 

Chapter Text

Hawks was in agony. His entire body ached, and his mind was fuzzy. After going to the Commission and being yelled at for god knows how long, he was set to work extra to make up for the time he lost on the unexpected job. Now, he was standing on the roof of a building, feeling the wind in his hair and wings, holding his chest tightly. His phone was buzzing non stop in his pocket, vibrating against his leg painfully. 

"What." Hawks snapped, finally picking up the phone without looking at who was calling him. As soon as the word left his mouth he regretted it, only praying it wasn't his Handler or the Commission on the other side of the call. Leaning against a railing, he waited for the yelling to begin. 

"No need to bite my head off Birdy." Dabi spoke, his voice had a hint of venom behind it but Hawks tried not to think about it. The hero sighed, rubbing his eye with the palm of his free hand harshly. Dabi had a temper and it wasn't a good idea for Hawks to test his patience. 

"Oh hey Hot Stuff, why are you calling me at this hour?" He replied, pain seeping into his voice as his wings shivered in the wind which was starting to pick up. It cut through his clothes with ease, burning his already injured body and pale fingertips. He could he have some type of frostbite as his fingers were starting to get a little discolored, tinted a light blue. Curling his fingers to regain some feeling, he turned his attention back to Dabi who had started to speak again. 

"You missed the meeting, and I've been calling you for well over an hour. Where are you?" Hawks sighed quietly, completely forgetting about the League's meeting he promised he would join. He missed the last few due to work and he was well aware that they'd be less lenient if he missed another meeting. What he expected was Dabi to start yelling and insulting him, just like the Commission would but when that didn't happen, he felt like crying. Of course the Dabi wasn't like the Commission. He yelled but not at him, instead directing it at the world. He didn't hurt him like the Commission did, instead comforting him when he was hurt. 

"Oh yeah sorry.. I got held back at work. I'll come over to yours and you can give me the details of the meeting. I'll see you in ten minutes."  Hawks hung up before Dabi could protest and jumped off the building. He, once again, ignored the pain in his back and shoulder blades as he flew to Dabi's apartment on the other side of the city. Pain tolerance was a part of Hawks' training when he was younger, so now at 22 years old, it was as if he could turn off his nerves for short periods of time, blocking out all pain. But the only issue was when he decided to focus on the pain again, it would come in one big wave, making him almost throw up each time if the pain was bad enough. Now was not the time to throw up. 

Landing less than gracefully on Dabi's balcony, the bird let himself in almost silently, still ignoring his screaming back and chest. He was 95% sure he heard something crack when he dodged a bird at unmatched speed. His body twisted awkwardly, skin gliding across fabric that was stuck to dried blood, ripping it in the process. The feeling made Hawks nauseas.

Standing in a villain's living room never got any less awkward. Hawks knew he should be used to the feeling by now, he had been there multiple times at that point but a weird feeling always washed over him. Right now, it is worse. Probably due to the fact Hawks knew he looked like a mess. The Commission always made sure he wasn't permanently injured and they never left any marks on his body. They were particular about that, but Hawks still looked exhausted. His skin was a sickly, pale color, dark circles under his eyes, messily covered by makeup and his limbs trembling from something other than cold. He had seen better days, but this was far from the worst he's felt. 

"For a bird with incredible speed, you took your sweet time getting here." Hawks snapped to his head to the source of the noise. Dabi was standing in the doorway of his kitchen, leaning against the doorframe in his pajamas. His eyebrow raised when Hawks forced a smile, but failed to do something about his swaying. Feeling a little more relaxed, the pain was starting to come back to him, far worse than before. 

"Aww, did you miss me?" Hawks asked, dropping his jacket on a spare chair before leaning against the back of the couch. Dabi let out a small laugh and stepped into the light, noting how Hawks remained closer to the shadows and seemed to be hiding within himself. The hero himself didn't realize it, but whenever he was hiding something, he remained in the dark as if no one would notice him. In his defense, no one in the Commission paid attention to him unless they needed him, letting him hide any unwanted emotion with ease. 

"Damn birdie, you look like shit." Dabi commented, walking over to Hawks who looked a few minutes away from passing out. Hawks tried to reply with an insult but the word stuck in his throat, letting no noise out. He felt his body start to give out, his legs starting to collapse under him but he refused to pass out in front of Dabi. It was the last thing he wanted. He would remain standing just out of spite if he needed to. But Hawks was quick to give up when he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders and chest and another around his stomach, resting against two areas of injury. He let out a small cry of pain when his ribs connected with something, possibly Dabi's body considering he was standing right in front of him. 

"Jesus Christ what happened to you-" Hawks felt a hand on the back of his head, making him hiss in pain. "Of course your head is bleeding too. And they say villainy is dangerous. Come on big bird, let's get you to bed." 

Dabi didn't have any trouble half dragging, half carrying Hawks to the bedroom. Despite the added weight of wings, Hawks was surprisingly light, possibly too light for someone his age but Dabi couldn't tell when he himself was malnourished. Health? Dabi didn't know her, and it looked like Hawks hadn't been introduced to it either. Even half passed out, Hawks looked stressed and worried, as if he had done something wrong by passing out in Dabi's arms. Something Dabi noticed was the feeling of thick fabric under his t-shirt, digging into his skin around the chest area and shoulders. Dabi was about to kill the bird. 

"Hawks. How many binders are you wearing?" He asked, eyes flickering with a protective rage. He knew he should be mad at his boyfriend for doing something so reckless but he was more mad at the world for torturing Hawks like this. Seeing Hawks hurt made him want to commit mass arson. Not that he wouldn't do that anyway. 

"Three..." Hawks mumbled, lifting three fingers as he avoided Dabi's gaze. His eyes filled with tears as he recognized how much he messed up. Dabi was going to yell at him, break up with him or hurt him. The Commission told him his flaws and mistakes made him unlovable and the Commission was always right. They didn't lie and they didn't tell him things unless he was supposed to believe it. Or at least Hawks told himself that they were always right. Doubting them would result in him getting hurt again. 

"Hawks. Hawks look at me." Dabi shook his shoulder gently, consciously aware of his injuries and the pain he was in. Hawks looked up at him, letting a few tears slip. "How long have you been wearing them?" 

"Six...sixteen hours give or take.. I didn't have time to take it off.." Hawks' voice broke, close to breaking down into tears. He coughed violently, quickly covering his mouth with his hand which came back red with blood. Dabi saw it before he had time to hide his hand away, grabbing it gently, he pulled Hawks up from his position on the bed. 

"Okay, I'm going to take them off. It's going to hurt a little but it'll be okay. I'm not going anywhere." Dabi brushed his hair away from the face, wiping away his tears. Hawks nodded slightly, resting his head against Dabi's shoulder. He was still barely conscious, the slightest amounts of adrenaline keeping him awake but it wasn't enough to keep him present in reality. 

Dabi tried to be quick and make the next however long as painless as possible. He knew that plan was going straight out of the window when fabric ripped at his skin, pieces of dried blood keeping the two stuck together. Hawks took a deep breath as Dabi ripped the t-shirt away from his skin, only letting out a small whimper. Dabi kissed the side of his head and apologized for hurting it, but it was like ripping off a band aid, painful for a few minutes but over and done with in a few seconds. What confused Dabi the most was the lack of injuries on Hawk's skin. He was covered in his own blood but there was no cut, scratch, welt or stab wound to indicate anything was wrong. The binders however were still digging into pale skin with deep purple bruising sneaking under the fabric. Taking the binders off was more difficult than Dabi realized. Fabric hugged his chest, refusing to budge an inch and only caused more pain for Hawks who already wasn't having a good time. In the end, Dabi cut through two binders before being able to take the third one off without any extra damage to it or Hawks' body. 

Speaking of which, his entire chest and shoulder area was an ugly and painful mess of blue, purple, green and black. On one side of his chest, a rib was clearly broken, pressing against the skin that stretched over it. His back wasn't in any better condition, with actual injuries that caused bleeding. Deep cuts drew lines over his entire back, there was no patch of skin that wasn't covered in blood, scars or cuts. The area where his skin met his wings was definitely the worst. A matted clump of feathers seemed to be melted into his skin in a mix of blood and dirt. The usual vibrant scarlet was now dull and lifeless. Some feathers had fallen out and where laid in a pile on the floor next to Dabi's feet. Dabi felt anger rise in his chest. He was so close to torching the Commission's building, wherever the hell it was. He would personally see to everyone's death and made sure it wasn't painless or quick. But for now, his boyfriend had his head in his lap, crying silently into the fabric of his hoodie. He wasn't asking for it verbally, but it didn't take an idiot to realize he was in desperate need of comfort. 

"Hey little birdie. I'll get you one of my hoodies, they're massive and it might help you feel a little less dysphoric. I can make you some hot chocolate if you want. I bought marshmallows if you want." Dabi ran a heated hand through Hawks' hair, trying to ignore the feathers still falling from his back. He knew Hawks could grow them back but he only lost them when he was working and controlling them. What did the bullshit commission do to him? 

Hawks seemed to perk up a bit at Dabi's suggestion, tears stopping immediately which of course concerned Dabi. The former looked up at his partner, not moving his arms away from his waist which he was holding onto tightly. Hawks hesitated for a second before nodding, sitting up slightly to let Dabi stand up. Dabi slipped from under him, going over to his wardrobe that occupied one corner of the room and picked out the biggest hoodie he could find. The hoodie was a dull black with a logo stitched into the side, the inside was fluffy and warm which Dabi deemed perfect for Hawks. Chucking it over, Hawks put it on as quick as his body let him before curling back up into the spot where Dabi had sat a few seconds prior.

"Fuck he's really hurt.."   Dabi thought to himself, leaving the room to make the mentioned hot chocolate. It was unnerving to see Hawks look so weak and helpless. The look of pure fear and panic in his eyes when Dabi showed any type of emotion that could be perceived as negative, making him overthink the worst possibilities. Hawks had never told him what the Commission had done to him over the years but Dabi had a few, faint ideas of what he could've gone through, none of them were pleasant. Out of everyone, Dabi was the one who could spot a tortured and abused person in a crowd the best. He also knew the marks on Hawks' back wasn't from a random fight with a low-life villain. Not even the League were able to land that many hits on him and get that result. Hawks didn't fight back against whoever did that to him. 

Dabi popped a few marshmallows into the steaming cup before sprinkling a bit more chocolate on top of it before going back to Hawks. Normally he would've hated the idea of anyone seeming him act like this towards Hawks but in that moment, he was ready to fight god over his boyfriend if it came down to it. No one hurt his bird and got away with it. Again, Dabi pushed away his murderous thoughts and replaced it with concern for his boyfriend who was still awake and curled up in his bed, now under a soft blanket. 

"Here birdie, I got you your drink." Dabi put the cup on the bedside table before getting into bed next to Hawks, letting the latter lean on his chest and take the mug from the table. He took a small sip, smiling gently at the taste. Dabi's hot chocolate was superior and he would fight anyone on that. 

"Thank you.." Hawks mumbled, curling closer to Dabi. It was uncommon for Dabi to be the one comforting someone, he usually let someone else do it or was the one who was being comforted (but only by Hawks). The lack of feathers from Hawks did admittedly make their position a lot more comfy for the both. 

"No problem. Now, I want to know what happened to your back so I can torch the people who did this to you." Dabi's voice was completely serious and Hawks knew it. Hawks had seen what happened to someone who hurt him before, it wasn't pretty to say the least. He wasn't completely sure if he should've been flattered or not by the fact that Dabi had killed someone for him. He decided being flattered was the right route to go. 

"It's my fault.. I fucked up. I almost killed ten people because I let my guard drop. I wasn't smart enough to think of a plan that worked.. People almost died because of me Dabi. I almost let them fall." Hawks stared at his half empty mug. Tears brimming his eyes again. It seemed stupid to be upset about almost killing people in front of a murderer but that fact went over the two of their heads. "I had to be punished for my fuck up.. I'm just glad it only lasted a few hours this time.." 

"A few hours!? Hawks what the fuck. How long down it usually last?" Dabi seethed, a protective arm wrapping around his side tighter. Hawks jumped slightly at his sudden outburst, not expecting the amount of rage in the man's voice. Dabi was only glad he didn't burst into flames when he yelled, being fried was the last thing Hawks needed. 

"It depends on how bad I mess up.. usually, six hours is the minimum, the last time I messed up really badly I was there for almost a week.. I deserved it though.. This time it was only three or four hours." Hawks mumbled, taking another sip of his drink. Dabi felt himself heat up and forced himself to take a few deep breaths, focusing on calming Hawks down first. 

"That's... There's a million words out there and I don't think there's any to describe the amount of rage I feel towards them right now. I'll deal with my anger later on so I don't burn you, just know you won't have to deal with them again. Anyway, onto my questions before I forget any. Why were you wearing three binders?" Dabi asked, pinching the bridge of his nose knowing his anger couldn't possibly get any worse. 

"Dysphoria.. I haven't felt like this for almost a decade.. I thought I was only working four, maybe five hours. I thought I'd be okay but then everything went to shit. I now know not to do that in the future.." Hawks explained the best he could, but he didn't even know why he did it. The day had been a complete blur in his mind. A mix of panic and pain. Dabi nodded slowly, as if he was thinking about something. 

"Have you ever considered top surgery? I know it's a big thing but you wouldn't have to wear binders and it's a lot safer. Baby bro Shoto has decided to get it once he leaves UA so he can do hero stuff without the restriction of a binder." Dabi ran a hand through Hawks' hair again, gently smiling at the way his lips quirked upwards at the feeling and warmth. But this time he had no such reaction, only a sadness Dabi hadn't seen before. It was a look of pure heartbreak. 

"I want to but.. the Commission won't allow it. It'll cause permanent scarring and- and they don't want that because I'm supposed to be perfect. A perfect hero. It took years to convince them to let me transition as much as I have. I managed to get them to believe a male Pro would be much more popular and successful than a female one. They managed to be convinced after that.. Top surgery is something I want more than anything but I just can't get it.. I asked to have a binder built into my costume but they denied that too.. And before you ask about my back, the scars will go in a day or two." Hawks explained, letting himself let a few tears fall down his face. Dabi hugged him as tight as he could without causing more pain. His previous statement about his anger was now a lie. He surpassed his limit of anger. The Commission was definitely going up in flames now. 

"I'm sorry, Hawks. I will make sure you get that surgery even if it's the last thing I do. I hate seeing you this upset, but don't worry about that right now. Rest your body and mind and we can talk about it later okay? You're barely awake now." Dabi kissed his nose, earning himself a small smile from Hawks who didn't protest at the idea of sleeping. He was out cold before he even hit the pillow. The other watched him for a few minutes before grabbing his phone to text the rest of the League. All of them were protective of Hawks so would have no problem with his plan. 

[The League of Issues] 

DesignatedArsonist: The Commission of fuck safety has gone too far. We're burning the place down tonight. We ride at dawn bitches