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Chapter Text

Dean hopped in Baby, having spent about as much time getting her gussied up as he had on himself. It'd been five years since he and Sammy had any real time to themselves since he'd started college. The San Antonio Valley, in the heart of the agricultural capital and was a modest area nestled in the quiet, golden, sunshine-shaded coastal hills of California. It only took about an hour and a half by car to reach Stanford, and Dean had made that trip more times than he'd ever care to admit. 

Sammy'd never know it. Dean kept that to himself, just like he kept what happened between them during that last, long dog day of summer under the sycamore trees locked deep in his heart. As he flew down the 580, winding his way up into the coastal range that would eventually spill out into the regions leading to the Stanford Hills, he passed the turn off to that Grove. 

That "scenic" spot blanketed in blonde wheat, swishing in the heat of the summer wind, where they'd spent their last few hours together without a care in the world, free to be honest and real with each other. It reminded him of the sun's sting against his forehead, the burn it'd left on Sammy's long, muscular back and ass. They'd been enjoying this route to the university; Sam's school stuff, his clothes, everything he'd deemed necessary to live off of for the next four years, was stuffed in Baby's trunk. Dean had been exhausted from staying up all night going through checklist after checklist from the university with what was okay to bring to the dorms. Halfway there he'd begun to fall asleep at the wheel, and at Sam's insistence, he'd pulled over for a nap. 

Late afternoon had given way to an early evening by the time they'd awakened... or Dean had awakened to Sam's lips on his and his hand traveling south. Dean tried clearing his head, but he was so incredibly sleepy, and the heat of the day had zapped his energy something fierce. 

"Sure this is something you wanna tangle with Sammy?" he remembered asking, while firmly placing his hand atop Sam's where it'd been seductively cupping his dick.

" Shit. M'sorry, alright? I just…" The terrified look on Sam's face twisted the knife already embedded in Dean's gut.

"Tell me," Dean demanded, then tried softening his approach.

"I don't like you going away to college either but it's gonna be good for you. You need to live outside of this bubble, away from dad. M'gonna miss you, bad. But this college thing, it's an experience you need to have, you understand?"

"I get it. I know I need to do this…" Sam's voice broke, and tears began running down his face. "I love you and don't want anyone else. We can keep this a secret forever, can't we?"

The grief and panic Sam was feeling over him had Dean so goddamn conflicted. He needed to get him to school and away from him, so he had a fighting chance of finding something normal. Not... whatever this was that'd started when Dean had picked him up from a party a few months back, hammered and horny as hell. Kissing was all that'd happened until he turned eighteen. 

"I'm not telling anybody; that's for damn sure," Dean confessed, blowing out a puff of air. "I'm also not going anywhere. I'll be there to see you in that cap and gown, holding the degree that says you know what you're doing with the business side of this family mess."

He leaned in, nuzzling Sam's nose affectionately. "You still want me as much when you get back, that's something we can talk about then."

"I'm never gonna want somebody else. I already know, Dean."

"Promise me you'll give it an honest shot though. 'K?"

Sam's "'kay," sure didn't sound too convincing, but Dean knew it would take time to process and adjust to his new environment. 

He felt the need rolling off Sam's lanky frame as they lazily kissed. Abruptly, the eighteen year old brat pounced, weaseling his way onto his lap, wedging himself between the abdominal wall that was Dean and Baby's steering wheel. Right away, he felt Sam's swiftly hardening cock nudging against his own, which had been steadily growing with interest. 

Dean wasn't blind, after all; Sam was hot. Give him a few years and he would bet their farm when he next saw Sam, he'd find an even better looking Fabio hidden beneath that graduation cap and gown. Hopefully, by then he'd wise up and outgrow whatever infatuation had started him down this path. 

For now though, he was content letting Sam have his way. He tried not thinking too hard on how the kid had such a justice streak. How he fought their dad on everything and without the asshole ever admitting to anything, Sam won almost every argument, which with John Winchester, was damn near impossible. 

He was smart, had a good head on his shoulders, and at Stanford he had the opportunity to escape the backbreaking labor Dean had sacrificed his own college experience for to keep their family orchards afloat. Wasn't easy with all the money coming in and John drinking it away. Dean had found his father's medical bills left out one drunken afternoon and managed to hide them and his knowledge of a failing liver from both John and Sam. 

If he could just keep it going long enough to last until Sam graduated, then he'd sell the land, hop in Baby, and drive off with Sam into some happily ever after sunset of their own making. Dean tried not letting his mind drift into the what ifs for he and Sam. The truth was, he loved him every bit as much as the giraffe had professed to loving him back. And it honest to God scared him to death. 

The way Sam's hips circled, dragged, then thrust upward in an all too delicious cycle, Dean knew it wouldn't take much before both their jeans were soaked through from Sam's over eager, hormone-fueled emissions. This was as far as he'd allowed things to go between them, but damn was it fun. Nobody could get pregnant, and it was Sam, so the amount of messing around he'd done with anybody else amounted to practically no chance of either of them having caught any cooties. 

Sam's heart was thundering against his ribcage as his ass swiveled and ground his now rock-hard dick against the length of Dean's. Feeling Sam get himself off on just the feel of him, sent Dean to the moon with pleasure. 

"Hitting the spot there, Sammy?" teeth raking along Sam's pulse as he queried in earnest, Dean thrust forward to give Sam some counter pressure and squeezed his tight ass in his palm. 

Dean loved when his brother wore his board shorts. He always wore them a little loose, so Dean could sneak his hands down his backside and get a handful. But there was something different about this time. Sam was every bit as needy as he always was, but he hadn't come yet. 

Pressing against Dean harder than ever for friction, Sam's breath was labored, soft moans and pleas of incoherent babbling tumbled from his lips.

"Tell me what you need, Sam."

By the sound of it, Sam didn't know what he needed. He just needed more of whatever they were doing. So he pushed Sam to his right, on the passenger bench, yanked down his shorts, not caring in the slightest how his hard cock bounced out playfully. "Maybe this'll help," he suggested with a smirk. 

The way Sam stared at him with such ravenous hunger was unholy, and Satan bless, did it do things to Dean. "Get over here."

Sam scrambled back over to him, tossing a leg over Dean's lap and nearly shouted when their hips naturally lined them up for the good times to start rolling again, but no go. Sam's enthusiasm couldn't be contained in Baby's front seat without his ass beeping the horn, advertising the beat of their rockin' and rolling.

"Sammy, Sammy... this ain't gonna work. Lemme grab a blanket or something; hang on!"

Painfully tossing him aside again, though he really didn't want to, Dean took a perfunctory glance at their immediate surroundings. The hill back up to the turn out for the sycamore grove kept them mostly hidden from prying eyes, so Dean swiftly climbed out while pocketing something unseen, then grabbed a blanket from the trunk and carefully laid one out at the base of the massive sycamore, cradled in between two capacious roots. 

"C'mere," he called, gesturing to Sam once he'd gotten comfy on the blanket. 

Sam cautiously ambled over in just his shorts and flops, straddling him. Dean felt the weight of trust being placed in him, and he was going to do his damndest to honor it. He lay back against the curve of the tree trunk, as if it'd formed just to cradle him for this purpose.

Watching Sam kick off his shorts, he was even more grateful he'd insisted on waiting until Sam's eighteenth birthday before they started really messing around. He was gorgeous, with strong, sinewy muscles from chores around the orchard and sun kissed skin which Dean wanted every inch of in his mouth. 

"Just... hold on..." Dean wanted to look at him. 

His height, the way his arms moved as he shyly fidgeted when Dean aimed his enraptured gaze on all of him.

"Always knew you were beautiful Sam... just... damn." 

Dean grabbed Sam's hand, silently tugging, then voicing his desire for him to go ahead and do what he'd originally intended. But first, he shimmied out of his own shorts, craving skin to skin. 

Sam sunk down in Dean's lap, kissing him fiercely. Dean would never tire of his lips; they soothed the storm of constant rage within his soul. As Sam shifted for comfort, it was obvious what he was after. A jolt of electricity shot through them both the second they'd slotted their hips together and began gliding in a delicious rhythm.

"God damn, you're beautiful," Dean murmured against Sam's lips, then softly raked his fingers languidly down his spine. "Sam, hey... Eyes on me. Don't keep them closed. Or if ya want…" Dean shyly offered, then glanced down at his hand now gripping them both in an erotic, rhythmic display.

Dean watched Sam's eyes as they traveled downward, revelling in the precious "O" shape his lips made when taking in the sight of their weeping cocks, sliding in the channel of his confident hand. Each little sound falling from his tongue, every movement, leaning into feeling good with Dean was a perfect dream. The sun's rays danced through the sycamore branches, further illuminating his golden skin and highlighting the beauty of a boy in love, with big dreams and a bright future. 

Sam abruptly buried his face in Dean's neck, in need of slowing his respiration rate. 

"You alright?" Dean posed, slightly worried.

Sam nodded, but Dean knew something was up. Running his fingers through his mop of soft, swiftly growing hair, Dean kissed Sam's cheek, hoping it soothed him enough to voice whatever he had on his mind. Thankfully, it worked.

"Dean... be my first? Please?" His lips murmured and buzzed, hot with need against Dean's pulse.

Oh, God. How could Sam ask him for this? He deserved... not him.  

"I can't take this from you, Sam. Hell knows I want it. Want you. But it belongs to someone else, someone you just haven't met yet."

Sam huffed out air and continued pushing into his hand. "I want it to be you. No one's gonna be as gentle as you, knows me like you do... loves me as much as you do."

Goddammit, how those words brought a lump in his throat. The amount of blatant trust Sam had astounded Dean. The truth echoed in his heart; nobody else would be more gentle…

He'd brought a small bottle of lube from the car for playing around, not intending in the slightest to take Sam's virginity. But like hell would he move forward without it.

Sam must've sensed his inner conflict and begged, "Dean... please," then kissed him like their world was on fire.

"Sammy, you have any idea what's involved in this?" 

With an impossible, emotional smirk, Sam took Dean's hand in answer and slid it down the cleft of his ass until both felt the plug firmly in place, demonstrating that Sam had at least an idea.

"So, you were just expecting to get laid today, that it?" Dean was once again conflicted, but not angry.

Ghosting his lips over Dean's, Sam whispered with a smile, "Wasn't expecting. But hoping ..."

Dean brought him in for more kisses while giving the plug a gentle rub. His brother moaned into his mouth at the feeling and punched his hips forward in reaction. Retrieving the lube from his shorts pocket then slicking his fingers, Dean yanked out the plug, dropping it on the blanket, and resumed pressing gentle circles around Sam's tight entrance. 

Having a light bulb moment, Dean slid the bottle into Sam's hand and suggested, "How about you do the honors, hm?"

At Sam's ravenous expression, Dean leaned back into the tree trunk and pleasantly watched Sam rub the bottle's contents onto his painfully hard dick. His brother's enthusiastic touch warmed his heart; this was actually happening. It wasn't another wet dream. He really was seconds away from being balls deep in his Sammy. Even if Sam noped TF out right now, Dean would be okay with that, but the hunger and determination in his brother's eyes said otherwise.

"Take it real slow, Sammy." 

Riding Dean would be better anyways. Sam could go at his own speed and comfort level. While Dean gripped the base of his cock, nudging the head against his tight hole, Sam closed his eyes and began pressing himself around the head. He tensed a little when popping past the first ring of muscle, pausing to breathe, acclimating to the new sensation. 

"Don't rush it. Go when it feels alright. Eyes on me, Sammy," he softly instructed. 

Taking deep breaths, Sam stilled himself, and Dean felt him miraculously relax around his cock. The first time - hell, first few times - weren't exactly a cake walk, but when working on the experience with someone who cared, it was something upon which to safely build. Communication was key. 

Movement occurred at a snail's pace. With soothing whispers, Dean lovingly encouraged Sam to focus on his hand which was busy, lazily stroking his cock.  

"That feel good?" he quietly asked.

Nodding, Sam's eyes were still closed, although they were no longer squished in tension or discomfort. 

"Just focus on my hand... That's it, good boy ."

The praise spurned Sam on. With each graceful, forward glide of his hips, he thrust harder, deeper into Dean's hand. Sam was revelling in the fullness his brother gave him. His sighs were honey to Dean’s ears; every tiny gasp made his heart skip a beat.

"Whatcha thinkin' about right now?" Dean wondered, insanely nosy.

The most beautiful shade of pink slowly heated his not-so-little-anymore brother's cheeks, and a trickle of sweat fell from his temple. 

Biting his lip as if the confession pained him, Sam admitted with a shy smile, "First time you made me cum."

"How could I resist? You were getting yourself off through a wet dream in your bed three feet away, moaning my name. Hmmm, naked from the waist down, with this beast in your hand, giving me the salute, ya know how delicious you looked?"

Sam silently laughed then grew coy. "Still prefer your hand... and mouth."

Dean sat up and crushed their lips together, knowing full well Sam had meant his mouth on his dick. Seeing him like that, pumping into his hand, gave Dean such feels, his heart felt like it was bursting out of his chest. 

"I coulda left ya to yer own devices; you were doing fine... just needed a taste is all."

"Gave you more than a taste. I fuckin' exploded in your mouth. How you didn't choke is beyond me," Sam huffed in confusion.

"I like a challenge. Less talkin', more exploding. C'mon, Sammy, ride me. Be a good boy and make yourself cum on my cock."

Squirming to get him even deeper inside him, Sam really began to hit a steady rhythm that had a typically confident Dean questioning his staying power. Hopefully he'd last at least a few minutes; this wasn't his first rodeo, after all. But it was his first time with Sammy, this stunner of a guy who'd gone from a sunshine, bubblegum grin to young adult, male fitness model practically overnight.

Sam's breath came in short, stilted patterns. Felt like he was working hard to nudge the spot that felt good and keep hitting it consistently. Meanwhile, not once did Dean let go of his cock, even picking up the pace a little. Sam was so damn tight and he seemed to be tightening even more.

"Dean... D-Dean…"

"'M'right here. Keep goin' cause you're close. I can feel it, like that ass is giving me a hug." hHe laughed at himself slightly for getting so schmoozy during the hottest sex of his life thus far. 

Strong hands pushed him back against the tree trunk, and he saw the faltering expression of fierce concentration on his brother's face.

"That's it, Sammy, keep going. Make yourself feel good on it. You gonna make me cum in you? Huh?"

That did it.

"Oh, fuck... Dean... fuck. I'm coming!" he screamed, clunking their foreheads together.

"Yes, baby... gimme all that cum. Oh, Sammy, fuck yeah that's it. Ah, that's so much, keep coming..." he shouted right back, biting into the meat of Sam's shoulder and pumping his cock, loving the copious amounts of white hot cum spurting all over his stomach and chest.

The more Sam came, the more tightly he squeezed and milked Dean's own cock, which was aching to explode. Finally, Dean couldn't hold back anymore and felt his own release filling up his brother. He couldn't stop; he just kept coming like Sam, and didn't stop until Sam's trembling brought them both back into focus. 

His back and side were cramping and he was drenched in sweat from the heat of the day. The tree trunk was fucking digging in somewhere. Sam's weight was crushing him, now that the endorphins were running off. 

"Sam, you okay?" Dean held his face in front of his, loving him so, so much.

His little brother just nodded, had no words. Neither of them did. Sam collapsed back onto Dean's shoulder, and it wasn't until the sun was high in the very late afternoon that they both awakened, realizing the college bound boy had an absolute bitch of a sunburn from his neck to the bottom of his ass cheeks. Sam struggled to stand, but with Dean's help, he managed. With help getting his shorts on, Sam got himself back in the car and fell asleep until they pulled off of Sand Hill road and cruised around the campus as the sun set. 

Dean took a few pictures of the more well known landmarks, including the illustrious Bytes Café, which appeared to be a popular hang out among the students. It took them a while to find the Terra Dorm Hall off Lane C from Campus Drive. They'd grabbed some burgers and chowed while taking the campus tour on wheels. Two hours later, Baby had been emptied of Sam's belongings, he'd met his roommate named Brady, and the moon told them the time for goodbye had come too soon.

Leaving Sam there, with both pack straps over his shoulders, clutching his laptop to his chest brought back memories of elementary school. He suddenly looked small, incredibly vulnerable. Sam wouldn't be gone for the day, only to jump off the bus with a mile wide grin and stories about his day for Dean. This was a journey, his journey, which at best would take four to six years for his degree.

Concealing trembling hands in his pockets, Dean appeared the picture of the proud parent figure, because he truly was. This was everything Sam dreamed of and deserved, so it was with a heavy heart that Dean prepared to make a request which broke his smitten heart, yet also had it brimming with hope and the best intention. 

Since that afternoon, there was no going back. A line had been drawn and crossed. It might fade with time, as he hoped it would for Sam, but for him, it'd left its mark and was irrevocable. 

"Want you to make me promise, Sammy."

Sam eyebrows furrowed in curiosity. "Yeah. Anything."

"Don't say that until you know what I'm asking. It's a hard thing for me, and hopefully someday you'll understand why."

Dean's throat was bone dry. Sam dutifully stood, hanging on his every word.

"The stars in your eyes over what happened... earlier; they're things that'll always stay locked in here," he explained, pointing to the heart in his chest. "This is your time now. To grow, make mistakes and crazy memories. I know you'll be a nerd, studying way more than you need to. But promise me what happened with us today won't be something you'll let stop you from falling in love with other people."

Dean watched Sam's demeanor stiffen at first, then as he hunched, he knew his brother was absorbing what he perceived as rejection. 

"Date. Fuck around with other girls and guys who like to as well. Make plans for the future and then newer ones when those fall apart. Promise me you'll really live and love. And don't forget to tell me about it. 'M'just a phone call away, and I wanna hear that ring, and all your stories. Then the day you get that piece of paper, I'm gonna be right here, ready to pick you up. Will you do that for me?"

"Sure... uh... yeah, alright. Yeah."

The cogs in Sam's beautiful mind were spinning, processing. Dean walked over and threw his arms around him, kissed his wet cheek. "I love you, man. Always."

"Love you too, Dee."

Once Dean had rounded the corner in Baby, he let his tears flow freely. He missed him already, so much. He hoped with everything he had in him that Sammy would make good on his word, because Dean never wanted to be the reason Sam held himself back from his potential and true happiness. So with the purest of love in his heart, Dean had set him free and journeyed home with a heavy, but proud heart. 

Chapter Text

Five Years later...

"Dude, would you relax? It's the Windsor knot and you'll get the hang of it. Just takes practice, which you're gonna get plenty of Mr. Law man," Brady laughed, helpfully correcting Sam's wardrobe fumble. 

Sam couldn't decide if it was an overabundance of caffeine or just plain and simple nerves pumping through his system that morning as he worried over his tie, wishing he wasn't such a sweat factory. 

Brady noticed he was severely more tense than usual. "Why're you so keyed? It's graduation, you passed your exams, with flying colors I might add, hard part’s over. Just enjoy this."

"I am. Just anxious for my brother to get here. Since our dad passed, he's the only family I have and I miss him."

Swiping a beer from their bare bones apartment fridge, Brady admitted, "Not gonna lie, your brother's hot..the one time I saw him. Seems cool."

Sam focused on a spot on the floor and smiled to himself. Dean had always been easy on the eyes, noticed by everyone. But they had a special bond. Not just the one time-

"Did someone just call me cool?" 

Sam heard Dean's voice preceded by the squeak of the front door opening and his heart raced. There he was, the picture of James Dean, the epitome of bygone cool in a fitted suit and shades. Sam watched Brady damn near choke on his words, hoping Dean hadn't heard part one of his confession. The second the shades came off, two infinite pools of green with a beautiful freckled smile greeted him and everything was right in the world. 

Without breaking eye contact with him, Dean grinned and asked, "Looking good, Sammy. Brady trying to help you with that knot again?"

Dean set his glasses on the table and with noticeably trembling hands, settling Sam's necktie to rest firmly against his throat, tightening the Windsor. 

"M'so proud of you man, c'mere," Dean pulled him into the biggest hug that felt like home. 

Sam relished it, every second. He breathed the scent of his brother in, longing to kiss him stupid and absorbing the tension between them. He was very aware Brady's presence wasn't the only reason to keep his cards close. Sam felt loss when Dean pulled away, and perhaps he did too, but there was time. 

Looking at his watch, Dean noted, "Aren't you boys supposed to be in the Crocker Garden by now?"

"Yeah, but Sam wasn't leaving without seeing you first," Brady spilled.

Sam shot him the evil eye, but continued getting ready. Not long after, all three were climbing out of Baby and walking onto the Crocker Garden. "Gonna find my family, Sam I'll catch up with you in a bit."

"Say hi to your sister for me," Sam chuckled and flipped him off when seeing him do the same. 

Brady had an older sister who was gorgeous but it got under his skin when anybody mentioned she was hot enough to date, so for giggles and shits, Sam decided he'd never leave him in peace about it. 

"If she's that hot, maybe you should really think about it," Dean suggested, taking in the throng of people lining up to find seats.

"Nah. I've gotta meet everyone and line up. Hope you brought sunblock, these seats are gonna be  right under the microscope, the whole ceremony," he worried over his brother.

Dean only grinned back. "M'good. Your future's so bright that I gotta wear shades, dude."

Sam fidgeted in line and cursed his sweat glands. The day and the event brought him happiness, he couldn't wait to walk across the stage donning his golden sash, triple cords, and medal indicating the distinction he'd achieved among his peers and fellow graduates. For him, it meant more than a sign he'd applied himself in academics. 

To Sam, it communicated how in every discipline in his life that mattered, he'd honored his brother's wishes, kept his promise to not only allow, but seek out every opportunity which presented itself. He'd made friends from all walks of life, dated men and women with passion and kindness. He'd lived the past five years in accordance with the promise he'd made. 

When his name was called, he lumbered out and to zero surprise, Dean's voice from somewhere in the audience rang out, loud and clear.

"Way to go Sammy!"

Pride swelled in his chest at his brother's enthusiasm. Plenty of graduates had multiple friends and family attending that morning. He didn't, but Dean always made up for it with his unique brand of love and exuberance. 

John had passed just after his freshman winter break concluded. The family finances were a mess and Dean had been exhausted from handling it all, but assured Sam he had it under control. Both wished Mary could've seen him into college, but the reason she didn't was why John drank so heavily. His funeral had transpired over a quiet, drizzly weekend for which he'd come home, two days later he was back at school resuming his studies, as if barely anything of note had occurred. 

Just over two hours after the ceremony began, it concluded, then Sam rushed out to find Dean. When he did, Dean just about bowled him over.

He tugged lightly at his chords and medal. "What's all this pomp and circumstance, eh?"

"Means I've graduated cum laude," he shyly elucidated.

Suddenly a drunken arm was around his waist, "Yeah if any one of us assholes was gonna cum loud, it was Sammy alright."

Sam nearly puked from the stench of Jaeger coming from his smashed friend.

"Jesus Brady, nice to smell you. Been drinking since you got here?"

Hiccup laughing, Brady replied, "Yup. Time to drink lunch."

Sam nudged him away. "You've got a speech in a few hours man, take it easy or your old man's gonna flip if you cause a scene. Dee, wanna get burgers for lunch? We have at least two hours before the next ceremony."

Pursing his lips, Sam knew he was making a show of having an ambivalent appetite. If there was one constant in the universe, it was that Dean was hungry and usually for quality cooked cow. 

"I could eat, yeah."

Throughout lunch, Sam became aware of just how often Dean's eyes roamed to the medal hanging from his neck. 

"Tell me everything I don't know," Dean entreated just before stuffing some cooked cow in his face and looking adorable while doing it. 

Throughout Sam's account of experiences which he thought Dean might appreciate, friends of his trickled in and joined them. Dean learned some of Sam's Stanford dating history. He was thankful for his friends' good natured ribbing and inclination to spill some tasty beans, as well as some tea. A few of the bases covered were Ruby and that whole fiasco, his time with Eli, then later Sarah Blake. 

Gadreel meandered in with his family and when passing their table, he and Sam shared warm embraces and parted with Gad placing an intimate looking kiss on his cheek, effectively displaying how they too, were once romantically close.His bosom buddies knew to steer clear on the topic of Jess, which Sam planned on sharing with Dean later, in private.

The serene expression on his brother's face was indication to Sam that he was pleased to know he'd lived, loved, and had fun. He couldn't help but wonder what amorous adventures Dean had experienced as well, during their time away from each other. Knowing him, there were too many to mention. Sam just hoped Dean had been in a few bona fide relationships because despite his history of fun flings, his brother had the biggest heart of anyone he'd known and he deserved to have someone special who adored him.

When it was time for the cum laude ceremony, Sam found himself stewing on what the rest of the afternoon and evening held for he and Dean. More than once, he'd caught his brother's eyes on him, holding his gaze in much the same way he had when the summer days were long, John was unconscious for hours, and stealing kisses under the endless rows of walnut trees was their favored pastime. 

Yet, enough time had passed for it to be difficult for Sam to gauge what Dean had on his mind, particularly with regard to what once existed between them. It's not like they'd never seen each other in the five years since that glorious day. They spoke on the phone often, and when Sam didn't have a summer job building his experience towards employment with a prestigious law firm, he called Dean for a ride as often as he could. 

The tummy butterflies of the morning were now sparrows, swirling, twisting, and diving in Sam's stomach as the ceremony droned on into early evening. He knew Dean had gotten a hotel for the night, banking on the celebration and revelry being such that an attempt for the homeward journey the same night would be foolish. But as to their sleeping arrangements, he hadn't a clue. 

As the director of the Law program continued to impart wisdom, Sam began to instinctively feel Dean's eyes on him. It was hard not to squirm, as there were so many fewer students perched on stage awaiting these particular awards and he found it difficult not to look out into the miniature ocean of invested onlookers and make eye contact with Dean.

"These students in front of you have graduated with accomplishments, deserving of particular Distinction. As they move on to the next stage, said accomplishments will officially accompany them, setting them apart from those who've albeit worked hard, but have not earned such honors. Yet I entreat you, do not ever dare to assume your cum laude entitles you. For it entitles you..to nothing. Consider it a bench marker…" 

The speaker had every student’s rapt attention, as they proceeded to take their earned honors and warn them that they entitled the grads to nothing. They'd simply proven themselves capable of successfully managing the tremendous workload demanded by the position of an attorney. Yet the strain of demonstrating that work ethic consistently, over decades rather than a few years for some, would prove too much. 

"Do not dare assume that with these honors, you've 'got it made'. Instead view them as a prestigious invitation to continue working just as hard as you have these past years. For law is like flowing water, ever changing direction and carving society into a better version of itself with each passing epoch. When embarking upon this journey, you made a clear declaration which you've upheld. You said, This is what I desire, it is just. My sacrifice maketh the world better. When employed judiciously, it is worthy."

Various alumni spoke, many of their words were moving. Then it was Sam's turn and he approached the podium with only mild jitters, as it was only one person who he was really addressing. 

"..........When we applied for pre-law, we'd known what we wanted for a long time. None of us woke up one morning and decided to 'give it a try.' No one gets this far without having made sacrifices. We showed up here on day one and said, "this is it for me." Sometimes our paths took different directions from the expectations we'd had on that first day. But we're here now, accepting this distinction because we honored the promise we made to ourselves, and made to others as well. When life took an unexpected turn, we didn't backtrack to what we knew, what was comfortable and safe, known. We allowed ourselves the experience, the novelty of the challenge it presented, and when we met our goal, albeit differently than intended, we grew and came to understand new things about ourselves. After this journey, we're still standing here, declaring because of these unexpected directions and experiences still, this is it for me. This is all I'll ever want and will feel passionate about. Now it's time to move on to the next step and show those in our future the strength and conviction of our declaration."

Sam hoped his message rang crystal clear, he'd taken great care with its construction. Hoping it made sense to his peers, but most of all, to Dean. Now that the sun was beginning to drop in the sky, the nerves and butterflies in his stomach flared and fluttered. What would Dean's response be? Would he always see him as a starry eyed kid with a crush? Had their time apart given him enough pause to reconsider? Could he have found someone else?

"They gonna serve grub with this champagne or they tryina' loosen us up to have their way with us later?" Dean queried as he took a swig of the bubbly his stomach to rumble loudly.

Looking at his watch, Sam wasn't aware that Brady was in a drunken, not-so-stealth mode when he entered the hall. A cracking sound ripped through the hall, garnering excessive attention and a split second later his left ass cheek stung like a sonuvabitch. Looking up from his watch, he was startled with an expression of Dean's he hadn't seen in decades. It reminded Sam of the time his brother stopped bullies from almost kicking his ass, with a single look. The same look which screamed, "Mother fucker I will END YOU if you so much as look in Sam's direction."

Turning to see Brady frozen and probably shitting himself, Sam suggested, "Go home and sleep it off, man."

Brady slunk off, obviously in severe discomfort with himself over his egregious faux pas. On the fly, Sam came up with a place he knew Dean would appreciate.

"I know a good place, let's get out of here."

"Lead the way," Dean directed, already fishing in his pockets for his keys.

Morton's Steakhouse was packed, but fortunately an undergrad friend of his managed the place and squeezed them in at the bar. When Dean's ribeye came, swimming in cracked pepper and butter, Sam was over the moon how pleased he looked. He pretended to view his overeagerness as immature and annoying, just to rib him. 

"Sam this is great, really man. So delicious," Dean half looked at Sam, half at the steak. 

"It's the least I could do. You sacrificed so much for me growing up, I know you went hungry at times to do it. It's the least I could do."

The adoration in Dean's eyes, for both the peppercorn porterhouse in front of him and the gaze back at Sam, had his heart racing. His brother was everything to him. Dean loved food. Had an entire relationship with it. Preparing meals and eating with someone was a key dialect of Dean's love language, Sam realized ages ago. He hoped the phrase, "the way to a man's heart.." held true. 

"So you were brought up to speed on my dating history. What about you, anyone special?" Sam couldn't help asking. 

The way Dean closed his eyes when savoring each bite of his steak like it was the most superb thing he'd ever tasted, absolutely did things to Sam. His brother's lips were still every bit as deliciously plump as he remembered and watching him chew his steak, with the tiniest grease drizzle on his lower lip made Sam want to kiss it away.

"Take a picture, Sammy. Here, have a bite, it's gotta be better than your steak salad without the steak," Dean offered, sliding his plate over. 

He hadn't realized he'd been staring and straightened himself while assuring Dean, "No, I'm good. Just tired is all. Spent a few nights prepping for everything, getting my stuff packed up."

Dean seemed pensive for a moment before asking, "Am I taking you back to the apartment tonight or…?"

The question caught Sam off guard. "Or?"

"You bunking with me? I don't care either way, but I figured I'd offer you an out if ya weren't in the mood to go back with that grab-ass hot mess Brady trying to further assault you."

"Shit..yeah... Sober Brady's fine in small doses. Drunk Brady's impossible. We drunk fucked one time and when I put the kibosh on any future fuckery, every time he's gotten smashed, Brady turns into a stage 5 clinger, dropping massive hints he wants more."

"And you?"

"Don't want more. So yeah, if you wouldn't mind, I'll bunk with you."

"M'never gonna mind," Dean softly replied, without looking him in the eye. Something about his tone made Sam's butterflies take flight all over again.

It was settled. Sam was over the moon, but now a new set of jitters took hold. He'd meant what he'd said. Dean was it for him, and he could say that for certain because he had been true to his word and dated other people. None of them held a candle to his brother.

After ordering cheesecake, then rolling a suitably stuffed Dean out to Baby, Sam was thankful the sun had set. The excitement of the day and adrenaline rush of finally getting quality time with his brother had been wearing off throughout dinner and some quiet relaxation was calling his name. But so was Brady's caller I.D. on his cell.

"Brady, what's up?" His stomach lurched a tad, hearing a drunken ruckus in the background. 

"Saaaaaaaaammm...some of us are heading down to Renegades, wanna come with?"

No. No he did not. Whatever was blaring in the background had drunk Brady hollering into the phone loud enough Sam had to hold it out from his ear.

Dean looked over, shrugging his shoulders and suggested, "If you want to go I can take you. Just be sure to get a safe ride back."

Letting his reply to Brady speak for itself, he declines. "Nah, I'm good man. Kind of wiped out, driving home early tomorrow. But you guys have fun alright?"

Hanging up his phone Sam gave Dean a small smile. "Not really in the mood for that kind of party."

Without missing a beat Dean asked, "Wanna head back to the hotel for the night?"

"Yeah, sounds good." An awkwardness hung in the air as Dean turned the engine over.  Sam wondered if his brother had the same questions running through his mind. Where did they stand? Once they were concealed within the privacy of their hotel room, would either of them be brave enough to make a move? 

Not wanting to rock a perfectly good boat, Sam silently considered if the current happiness existing between them was worth the risk of finding out if old flames burned as brightly as they once had. For him, they'd never diminished. Even Jess had once made the observation, in her own precious way without judgement, how he seemed to be carrying a torch in his heart for an unnamed soul. Although he never showed it, her comment had startled him with its accuracy and he greatly appreciated the gentle opportunity to share that she'd afforded him. 

Despite declining her invitation, Jess hadn't pressed again, which in itself remained an unspoken, yet open invitation, should he ever wish to unburden himself. At times, he briefly entertained the pleasant notion she might just have been that rare someone who would listen, simply recognizing that it was what it was, and not something he ever compared her with. Dean had heard a little of his past, but Sam planned on sharing her, their story with Dean when the time was right. He hoped in doing so, it would honor her, by taking the opportunity on which he'd previously passed. She never knew the nature of his love for his brother, but by sharing about Jess with Dean, he'd know just how special she'd been to him.

The Rosewood Sandhill Hotel was thankfully bustling with activity and provided Sam the chance to ruminate a little longer. He noticed that Dean too, was unusually quiet while en route to their room, which to his complete dismay was actually a large suite. Walking in, Dean flipped the light which revealed a family room area leading out onto a community veranda with a roaring fire and rows upon rows of comfortable looking patio chairs and chaise longue..

To the right, there was a full kitchen with marble and steel accents. An ice bucket sat atop the counter with a few of the state's microbrews chilling. Sam dropped his bag in the capacious bedroom with two kings. Of the many reasons for the two beds, he opted to not guess or assume anything other than perhaps the single king suites were taken. To be fair, he was still floored that his very frugal brother had sprung for such extravagance. 

"Can't believe this place, Dean. When you take a 'me weekend,' you really go big or go home."

Dean tried but failed to conceal the shade of pink heating his beautifully freckled cheeks. "I have a little set aside for indulgences. It's amazing how smoothly the accounts balance when the person running them isn't drinking it away. Been squirreling some money aside for this particular weekend since just after dad passed."

Sam was brought up short. "You've had this single weekend in mind and been saving for it for four and half years?"

Dean nervously answered with an "Mmmhmm," then swiped two beers from the counter, opening one, he handed it to Sam. 

"Sierra Nevada Ale is made a few hours north east of here, in the foothills, near Chico State University," Sam informed, purposefully avoiding the tension and the obvious elephant in the room.

First Dean's tie came off, then his jacket. Losing his shirt, socks, and pants, Dean wondered aloud, "That's the one with 'the prestigious ranking' of number two party school in the U.S., right?"

Although Sam hadn't visited up that way, he'd had the beer many times and loved the seasonal Celebration Ale best of all. "Yep. Brady went up there one weekend, met a few guys from 'Linkin Park' visiting their friend. 

"Bet he loves to talk about that," Dean snorted. 

"Yep."

Taking a swig of the beer, Dean set it down on the desk and before heading into the bathroom, announced, "I really need a shower."

Sam knew he was ripe and also needed one and called out, "Take it easy with the hot water, I need one too."

He heard the water come on but wasn't expecting Dean to blurt out, "Then make like a water conservationist and get in here."

The butterflies inside went nuclear at his brother's blatant invitation. The heart racing within his chest pounded painfully until he took a breath and willed it to slow. He lumbered back to the kitchen for another beer after downing the rest of his first. He had all but his underwear off before he reached the bedroom, but took a deep breath before walking into the bathroom. 

Chapter Text

Still, Sam preferred to assume nothing. For Dean, maybe this really was just sharing a shower to conserve water. God knew the state was in a drought and farmers had been hit the hardest. The evidence of that was the dust bowl appearance of farmlands scattered all along the once fertile I-5 corridor boasting an export of rice larger than the whole of China, yet somehow still did so even though it used to be filled with healthy green patterned crop lines. Their family's orchards were no exception. 

Despite steeling himself to find Dean no longer reciprocated the love they'd once shared, his own craving for his brother gripped and clawed at his insides. Time hadn't lessened what was in his heart for his brother. Kicking his underwear aside, he hoped Dean still loved him back, and if he didn't, that his body wouldn't betray him like the raging hormone-fueled teen he'd once been. 

The already steaming bathroom was massive. Dean was covered in suds, enjoying the warm spray from one of the dual shower heads. Facing the dark wood colored tile wall, his stunning figure was that of someone who performed physical labor, daily. The way every muscle in his back gracefully moved with shocking clarity under sun tanned skin had Sam's dick twitching, as fluffy soap suds waterfalled down Dean's spine and delectably toned ass. 

As Dean had the left shower head, Sam took the right, which had already been running..on the assumption or hope he might join Dean? His heart skipped a few nervous beats and he felt his heavy cock already swelling between his legs, but maintained a casual confidence when stepping under the spray. 

He grabbed something which smelled fruity and lathered up. With every second that passed, his heart pounded against his ribcage like it was dying to be set free. The suspense was eating him alive. Dean was mere feet in front of him, washing himself. When slowly turning around, his eyes were closed while touching all the skin Sam himself longed to be touching. He wanted to wash Dean, and give him the affection and attention he deserved. His brother had done back breaking work for over half his life and fuck him, did it show.

Dean's biceps swelled with the kind of strength that looked like it could bend iron. His washboard stomach revealed a happy trail which seemed to go for miles as the suds ran down, catching on the soft belly hair. Thighs of steel, shaped from endless lifting, had Sam needing to stifle the biting kink he'd discovered a few years back. Since his peepers were in the vicinity, they roamed over the delicious half chub his brother was sporting which caused him to also twitch again with need. Hoping some scalding water would distract him enough so Dean wouldn't open his eyes and find his embarrassingly ravenous reaction, he slowly turned the dial. 

The amount of steam in the shower instantly doubled, clouding the details of his brother's physique. Perhaps that was for the best, so he let his eyes close and focus on the hot streams of water trickling down his skin. Sam knew he was being a coward and just dragging his feet. The worst that could happen is him revealing his feelings, then Dean not reciprocating them. The idea had been an unpleasant bed fellow since they'd said goodbye five years before, yet he chose to keep it close, a safeguard around his heart, so he'd only be crushed, rather than completely devastated. But at least he knew Dean wouldn't judge him, even if he didn't feel the same. Dean could never judge him for that. Sam knew beyond anything that the one constant in the universe was that Dean loved him more than anyone in the entire universe. 

Be it only familial love or otherwise, he had Dean's love and that truth gave him the abrupt courage to make a decision. The next time he and Dean made eye contact, he'd make a move. Sighing quietly, he rubbed his face and ran his hands through his hair. His fingers rubbed his eyes once more and then his face, between them were windows to what he expected to see was steam swirling around his form. 

Instead, inches from his face stood Dean. The pupils in his eyes were blown and registered to Sam as full of lust. He dropped his hands and simply stared back.

"I-I didn't know if you'd come in or not. Woulda been okay of you didn't, I get it but-"

Sam was already kissing him before realizing he'd made the choice to do so. Warm lips were moving against his, and his arms shot out, pulling Dean in by his waist. He didn't know who gasped or if both of them did when they collided but the way Dean pushed him against the wall, rubbing his thickening cock against him felt like electric jolts of endorphins had been injected directly into his bloodstream. 

Dean filled his hands with Sam's ass lovingly kneading, squeezing his cheeks. 

"I missed you. So much," Sam murmured against Dean's plump, moist lips, loving the tease of his brother's tongue playfully dipping in his mouth. 

Both had their hands on each other's asses, pulling each in more tightly for a delicious frottage shower session. Both alternating lightly fingering the other in between the delicious kneading and squeezing. Sam knew he could easily come like this, the water and soap being lube enough for their cocks to continue deliciously sliding together. For the time being, they continued the schmoopy kissing, frotting, lightly gasping and moaning into each others’ mouths as the slick pressure built.

"Sammy..this feels so good, but I don't wanna come yet," Dean breathed against his neck, unable to stop the filthy, blissful grinding of his hips. Their cocks had slotted perfectly against each other, both watched their shafts and swollen heads rubbing through the suds, racing towards orgasm. 

Holding his brother's face in his huge hands, he entreated,  "Just come Dean. I'll spend the night making you come as many times as I can."

"L-l-ucky me," Dean breathed into his mouth as his body stiffened in Sam's arms. 

With both shower heads jetting hot water simultaneously, the water temp plummeted pretty quickly, as much as Sam absolutely did want to fucking move, he didn't relish the thought of staying under a cold spray. After they'd both quickly rinsed off, Sam began towel drying while walking back into the bedroom when Dean ripped the towel out of his hands, snapped his ass with it, then playfully clotheslined him onto the bed.

"I'm still dripping wet!" He exclaimed while trying to sit up.

Dean was right there, crawling up Sam's naked body, tongue already lapping at droplets cascading down his pecs. He caught one as it collected just above his nipple and sucked. Sam's eyes rolled into the back of his head in reaction to the jolt of pleasure shooting through him. His cock stiffened even more and twitched against Dean’s stomach. 

His brother moaned lasciviously and gently bit his nipple, demonstrating how he'd thoroughly enjoy drying him off with his tongue. 

"God dammit Sam, I love it when you're so hard and needy for me like this."

Sam couldn't agree more and a thrill rocketed through him at how easily they'd fallen right back into this treasured dynamic, how mutually desired it was. 

"Mmmmm same. Guess we're at a stand still," he replied, watching Dean work his way down the flat plain of his stomach, falling deeper and deeper into an endorphin coma. 

"How...so..Sam?" Dean queried, between intermittent kisses.

Sam flipped his brother onto his back, like when they used to horse around as little kids. The shock in Dean's eyes was amusing, and became deeply satisfying as Sam inched his way up with his knees straddling Dean's upper body until if he so desired, between his knees and thighs, he'd have him in a sexy headlock. 

Extremely pleased with himself, he looked down at his brother's beautiful face and found his shock had become unquestionable hunger. "It's pretty clear we're both pleasers. Right now I'm dying to suck you off, but you'd fight me on it simply because you'd rather be doing the same."

Uncontained glee spread across Dean's face. "I feel attacked. So this is you, hmmm? Sacrificing what you'd rather be doing, just to make me happy?"

Knowing the amusement which shone in his eyes, Sam delicately ghosted his thumb over Dean's parted lips before explaining, "Believe me, watching how happy you are when wrapping those beautiful lips around my cock while I fuck your mouth is no sacrifice or hardship."

Dean just bit his lip and grinned at him maniacally. Sam was at more than half mast and had begun leaking a fair amount of precum, but he decided to try something out. He gave his cock a few lazy strokes, making sure there were at least a few beads of precum pearling at the swelling tip. Dean licked his lips, looking absolutely ravenous when Sam leaned in, closing the distance. Pressing his swollen head against Dean's mouth, he wiped the precum along the seam of his lips, maintaining eye contact the whole time. Yet again Dean's pupils dilated and he craned his neck, trying to swallow Sam's dark pink head, strategically kept just out of reach. 

Dean stilled, waiting patiently to be given more, and when he did, he tried licking at it only to have Sam pull away again. 

"I'll give it to you, just wanna see my precum on your lips."

Dean raised an eyebrow and repeated his maniacal grin. "My Sammy's got a cum kink! I love it. Okay. I'll be good, promise."

Wiggling around a little, Dean was making a show of settling in for good times, and Sam's heart was racing. He never expected to have this with Dean again. 

"Yeah, guess I do," now that he thought about it, there were so many delicious possibilities, knowing Dean had a cum preference too.

Dragging the weeping head of his dick across Dean's lips again, they glistened. With the dark, deeply satisfied look on his brother's face, Sam couldn't help what spilled out next.

"Open up so I can use your mouth."

He didn't expect the pure elation on his brother's face, but loved hearing the, "As you wish," which followed. 

He was careful, knowing his cock was definitely above average. Just because Dean had always adored sucking him off and did so with exceptional talent, didn't mean he could go buck wild. But he grabbed Dean's wrists and crossed them above his head, which was very well received. 

Angling his hips downward, he slowly sank into Dean's mouth, relishing the moist heat which immediately began sucking and squeezing around his length. When Dean moaned, an electric jolt of intense pleasure shot down his sciatic nerve, causing his hips to thrust forward in reaction. He immediately pulled back, hoping he hadn't hurt Dean. Assessing that he hadn't, he watched his brother take nearly his full length, happily. Greedily . And it was magnificent to behold. Briefly, he wondered if Dean might be able to take him in other ways, which only had him pumping past his plump lips even faster. 

"Jesus, I love how much you love this, Dean. Love your mouth. Missed it so much."

Dean moaned again in response. He was positively euphoric, getting face fucked by him. Sam delicately traced the hollowing of his cheeks with his fingers. "But I'm sorry, I'm not coming like this right now."

Dean's eyes shot up to meet his own with a question, "Why the hell not?"

Pulling away from him, he waited until Dean shot up indignantly. Then he swiftly yanked him down further towards the foot of the bed, kneeling between his knees and shoving them apart, began stroking him. This was a first for Sam. Not once, during their forays, had Dean granted him permission to suck his dick. He wasn't unsure why. But now he had it, he desperately wanted to demonstrate his own skill and make Dean feel good enough he'd let him do it often. Early on he'd fallen in love with the feeling of someone writhing in pleasure under his attention and Dean more than deserved all the affection he could give him.

Deciding to shower some love on his balls first because one mustn't forget the boys , Sam pinned Dean's beautiful hard-again cock to his tummy and delicately sucked one into mouth. He rolled it with his tongue and he loved how it made Dean whimper. His cock had hardened even more against his hand so he kept up the gentle love, taking the other one in as well. When Dean began to squirm a little, he lazily rubbed the length of his shaft, feeling the precum spillng over his head. Then Dean squirmed harder, as if trying to find the right angle, so Sam reached down, grazing over his hole and felt it pucker tightly. 

He remembered in the shower how whenever his hand roamed over his hole, Dean would push back into his hand and when feeling the loss of it, thrust back against his cock. Pressing circles around the tight entrance he immediately felt it relax, as if begging to be filled. The second he carefully slid half a finger in, Dean angled his hips upward for better access and widened his knees. 

He wanted to come on something, Sam realized. Would he want me to fuck him? That notion alone had him swelling. He'd been both daydreaming and wet dreaming about fucking Dean for years. But first, he wanted to show him he was good at sucking cock. Really good. He'd practiced on Brady first, until the lack of feedback got old. When he and Gadreel were dating, the guy was fantastic, giving him all the direction, praise, and amazing reciprocation he could ever ask for. 

He'd never tasted Dean, and when he flicked his tongue around the beautifully thick head, it tasted of shower fresh skin and something that'd always been uniquely Dean he loved, but could never put into words. Before he knew it, he'd relaxed his throat and taken all of him in, laboring to contract the muscles in the back of his throat. 

Throwing his head back Dean sighed, "Aw, fuck me Sammy…"

Letting Dean's cock fall from his mouth and looking up he asked a little too hopefully, "C-can I really?"

"You better, hell, where'd you learn that, huh?"

Shrugging, Sam just replied, "College," and returned to the task at hand. 

He gave Dean a few loving tugs before sliding his finger in even deeper, curling it against his prostate. The way his brother's whole body twitched in response and he cried out in bliss was music to Sam's ears. He sucked even harder when grazing over his prostate again. Fingers now curled through his hair, gripping the strands. Dean could rip his hair out for all he cared, if he really made his brother feel this good.

"Ooo..I could watch you getting me off all night. Mmm, keep sucking, right there Sammy. Damn  your mouth feels so good." 

The little shudders and twitches Dean makes under his ministrations sent Sam into orbit. This was his happy place, making Dean happy. Being so close with him. But he also recognized the finish Dean was hurtling towards all too quickly. He'd stashed a tiny bottle of lube earlier in one of the dresser drawers when en route to the shower so he cruelly bailed on Dean to retrieve it lightning fast.

"Ah! What the hell!" Dean barked, sounding nearly wrecked and heartbroken.

But Sam was quick in scooping him up, encouraging him to wrap his legs around his waist until he himself plopped down at the foot of the bed, kissing Dean until both were out of breath. 

"Whaddya doing?" Dean asked, still sounding a smidge bereft.

Flipping open the cap of lube and moving Dean to rest against his bent left knee, he briefly explained, "You said you could watch me getting you off…"

Dean's eyes squinted off in another direction while he contemplated what that meant. Sam managed to coat his fingers in lube, then let Dean lean back into his left arm and resumed his digital assault. 

Murmuring against his cheek, while kissing his way to Dean's mouth he assured, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

He reveled in the feeling of Dean's lips moving with his own while continuing to open him up. Rarely did Dean show vulnerability around anyone yet here, with him, he was doing just that. 

"Think you can take me?" He meant it in a genuinely caring way, but Dean must've taken it at the very least, a challenge given how he immediately sat back up, grabbed him and managed to get Sam a few inches in before his calm breathing patterns became stilted, revealing some difficulty. 

Sam held his face, resting their foreheads together and soothed, "Slow down. There's no rush. This is supposed to feel good, remember?"

Trying a distraction tactic, Sam kissed him, sliding him some tongue, swirling it playfully around Dean's. Feeling him begin to relax in his arms, Sam felt as though he held the world because for him, Dean was his whole world. Carefully he helped his brother find a comfortable position which felt good enough he could start moving. 

It was obvious he was having a little trouble.

"Breathe, I've got you. Just breathe." 

A few minutes passed in the quiet and stillness of the little world which existed with only them in it. The warmth of their faces nuzzling each other, the cascade of Sam's silken hair brushing against Dean's sharp, stubbled jaw line. The little sounds of false-start ecstasy before things really got moving. It was a world they'd call heaven, if they had to give it a name. 

 Once Dean had taken every inch of him, Sam splayed his palm over Dean's stomach and whispered in his ear, "I love you, Dee. Always have. Always will."

Dean turned his head and whispered against Sam's mouth, "Love you too." 

Sam was reeling at the sensationally smooth feel of Dean, at first very carefully, bouncing and riding him. He'd never felt such a tight heat before. It was like every movement his brother made was hugging his dick. 

"It's okay, Dean. Open your eyes," Sam begged, watching him from a vantage point his brother still hadn't picked up on just yet. But he would soon enough.

"Why?" Dean asked, with his eyes still closed but more noticeably relaxed.

Sam just remained silent, banking his silence alone would be enough to pique his curiosity. His bet paid off.

"Holy f-"

"You said you could watch me getting you off. Now you can, just on my dick," Sam delivered in his ear with a low, seductive tone and a slight smile. Directly in front of them on the wall was a mirror.

Biting his lip, Sam gently played with the delicate weights which had swelled and delightfully bounced each time Dean enthusiastically sunk down on his massive cock. He had to admit, watching how the width of his dick stretched Dean's hole each time he descended down to the hilt was erotic as hell and unbelievably satisfying. 

"Jee-j-jeez-omg yer cock is---"

Sam shut him up with a kiss, his teeth found Dean's tongue and gave it a light nip before taking it into his own mouth and sucking on it. 

"Mmmm..the better to fuck you with, big brother, " Sam snarked, snagging Dean's lower lip between his teeth, "You gonna be good and take all my come too?"

Dean's eyes were the size of saucers, because obviously he'd never heard Sam talk that way. "Don't ya want to watch? See how full you are when you take my cock...I know you like it, you're so hard you're barely bouncing around." 

His eyes were huge, but Sam knew he was more than fine when he began to jerk himself off. But Sam swatted his hand away and took over for him. "Told you I would make you come tonight and I meant it. Watch , Dean," he redirected him back to the mirror.

"Know what else I've learned in college?"

"W-what?" Dean stammered, processing the situation. 

"Yoga and the benefits of getting bendy," Sam delivered just before tilting a little and swallowing Dean's cock.

"Jesus fucking Christ Sam!" He bellowed, picking up the pace, sinking down and easily welcoming every inch of Sam's dick while giving him every inch of his own on the upward thrust. 

Sam released his cock and sweetly kissed the painfully swollen, now-purple head. "Watch Dean, see how good it feels to use both my mouth and cock."

Dean was setting a brutal pace, fucking himself hard on Sam, while simultaneously pumping furiously into the heat of his brother's generous mouth. 

"Uh..m'gonna come Sammy..m'gonna come oh my god..feelss ss-so good, fucking HELL!!!"

Sam felt him clench down hard around his dick, seizing in sporadic movements as his orgasm barreled through him with all the force of a demonic freight train. Dean's cum hit the back of Sam's throat in forceful spurts which he didn't mind in the slightest, as he sucked him through the remaining aftershocks. 

Switching things up yet again, he laid Dean back on the bed, gave himself a few rough tugs, and proceeded to paint his brother's cock, boys,  and hole a  warm, thick white. His chest heaved as he worked himself through his own aftershocks, which continued long after he'd expected due to the sight in front of him. His brother was completely spent but massaging his cum along his still inflamed shaft and cockhead. Then he moved south, rubbing it into his balls.

"Holy Hell Sammy...Sammy oh my god.." Dean continued whispering, while Sam happened to spot a tear spilling down his brother's cheek.

"Dean?" He shyly asked, worried he'd somehow upset him. 

Setting him gently on the bed, ignoring his own raging hard on, he crawled up to his brother and kissed his wet cheeks. "I'm sorry Dee..whatever I did, I'm so sorry."

Dean's breath and heart rate still hadn't regulated post orgasm. He began to panic and lay his head on Dean's chest. Immediately he found his brother's hand cradling him, his fingers brushing through his hair. 

"Why the hell are you apologizing? Holy fucking shit that was the best sex I've ever had in my entire life. I've never come so hard, ever . Dude, I was literally seeing stars and just couldn't get my heart rate down. C'mere," Dean pulled him up and kissed him. 

"Sammy, I love you so much. Missed you every day you were gone. I tried, just like you, I really tried to be with other people. But I'm just not me, if I'm not with you."

Sam was unclear by what he meant. "W-what? What do you mean you aren’t you? You're the happiest, most chill guy I've ever known."

"That's just it. I don't feel happy without you. I can be sometimes. And with you away, I realized you aren't my entire life. But you're the happiest part of it.  I want to have you close all the time."

"I'm all yours Dean. Always have been. I meant what I said five years ago, and after being with other people, loving some of them like you told me to, you're still it for me."

Dean whispered back, "All Yours..with distinction and honor. And maybe some baby wipes, I gotta wash my hands. Ya know what? Shower, again, our fault for wasting all the hot water. Let's go."

What proceeded to happen in the shower would be the messiest clean up ever, as they got into a body wash and shampoo war, with various bottles and substances squeezed and flung everywhere. Which led to another torrid make-out session and gratuitous cuddling in bed later, during which Sam decided to regale Dean with the love story that was and Jess. 

His brother laughed at so many funny parts and shed a few tears for him when hearing about the fire in the apartment she shared with her roommate. After the shock of what his brother had lost had somewhat ebbed, he told Sam about his time with Cassie, Lisa, and Lee. Dean held Sam into the long hours of early morning, before both finally succumbed to sleep. 

Chapter Text

"Fork the food over Bitch," Dean chortled with a mild wide grin. 

"You, yourself said smoothies aren't food," Sam fired right back, keeping the food just out of reach, "Why can't I have the breakfast burrito?"

"C'mon Sam, we both know what happens when you have burritos," Dean errantly explained, taking another swipe at the food, "I got two smoothies with green shit, just like you used to ask for."

Sam’s gave him the bitchface in response. "You're gonna throw fart accusations at me already after the morning you've had? We’ve been in the car for all of five minutes!"

Dean considered a moment. "Point made. But it was so worth it," and with pinkening cheeks he defended,"but we've got a helluva lot longer drive than an hour and half home. And I don't want to start things off with a hotbox death sentence."

"Fine. A burrito and a smoothie each. Too much of that green stuff'll give you the shits."

Dean didn't want that. Hell no. "Whatever. Gimme some sugar baby," Dean laughed, quoting Bruce Campbell and bringing Sam in for a kiss. 

It was corny AF, Sam wasn't in possession of the same fondness for the beloved C- list actors campy style, but Dean knew he wouldn't turn down the opportunity to lip lock.  He couldn't believe they got to have this, the simple, treasured things that came with being in love. Holding hands, snuggling, a modicum of PDA...obviously at home they'd have to watch themselves because their neighbors and other community knew they were brother's but maybe neither had to stick around. The sky was limit and for the next several days they had time to talk and chew on things. Sam got nosey, as Dean knew he would. 

With their foreheads resting together in a blissfully intimate moment, he asked, "Where are we headed if we aren't going home?"

With a classic smile, Dean answered, "All in good time Sammy."

His brother trusted him, and was hungry anyways so they peeled outta the McDonald's parking lot, hopping on the freeway heading east. Neither spoke a word, deep in their contented contemplation of their deliciously lazy morning entanglements.

To Dean's mild embarrassment, he'd been dreaming of Sam. It was a common occurrence, and no surprise given his emotional apprehension and stress he'd been under as his brother's graduation approached. He'd been true to the silent promise he'd also made to himself, the same which Sam had promised him. Dean had dated and found that although even Lee had captured his heart with the notorious comraderie they'd shared, not even he had managed to carve out such epic real estate in his heart like Sam had.

He'd awakened to find himself on his stomach cradled by the gigantor form of Sam kissing and nipping at his neck while seductively sliding his hard-as-nails cock between his ass cheeks. When Sam had asked, "What're you dreaming about big brother? Hmmm? Cuz I'm loving the sound of my name spilling from your mouth in your sleep like that.."

Smiling to himself, he hid the red of his face in Sam's pillow, avoiding a direct answer but hoped a slightly different truth might distract. "Waking up like this with you Sam, is a heaven I don't wanna go without."

Pushing his ass back against Sam in response resulted in the absolute best lazy morning fucking he'd ever had in his life. His brother made love to him so good he'd had to bail for the shower to hide his tears, but then drowned Sam in affection to assure him he'd done the opposite of something wrong.

Until they extracted themselves from the pesky Bay Area traffic which did its damndest to keep them on an onramp parking lot, Dean hoped Sam would like the surprises he had in store for him. He knew Sam held onto a fair amount of guilt for how things unfolded in regards to him having to carry the weight of the family business at the expense of his own educational and employment endeavors. One of the envelopes tucked neatly in the glove box should most certainly assuage any of Sam's misgivings.

Eventually the golden wheat of the sunshine coastal range came into view. A heaviness laced with intense memories settled between them despite neither having said a word. It was clear what was on both their minds as Dean pulled over onto the scenic rest area lot.

Parking Baby, Dean quietly prompted his brother. "Sam, I want you to open the glove box."

Unsure what was going on but having faith in his brother, Sam did as he was told and pulled out a manilla envelope addressed to Dean. 

Dean gently nudged him, "Go ahead, open it."

Peeling back the flap, Sam tilted the envelope and let it fall into his other hand. When reading the thick blue, archival grade parchment Dean kept his eyes on his hands, playing with his keys.

"Dean I-..." 

He heard the weighty emotion in his brother's voice and looked up to see him wiping a few tears.

"Bachelors of Science in Agricultural Engineering from U.C. Davis..When did you have the time? Or the money? How?" Sam's voice cracked.

"After Dad I...decided to make an investment. Started with online courses through UC Davis up in Sacramento. Didn't have to make trips too often. They let me do my labs and practical stuff right down here at Monterey Peninsula College."

"Dean..I..can't believe I never knew. Never did feel right you were never gonna get the same experience."

"You weren't meant to know, until now. Meh, probably a good thing I didn't have the full on campus thing. As much as I love Animal House, an overweight thirty something dude in a Toga and beer belly isn't really the direction I wanna go."

"What direction do you wanna go with this?" Sam seemed genuinely fascinated. 

"Think I've found my niche in designing sustainable ag equipment. I'll show ya some stuff I've been working on whenever we get back home."

"Whenever? What's going on?" Sam wondered, rightfully curious.

"Pull out envelope numero dos in the glove box and find out," Dean excitable directed.

But Sam still sat there, frozen. "I still can't believe I'm seeing this. I mean, I can. You're so smart. But Dean, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU," Sam issued, leaning over, pulling him into his arms. 

Dean's heart was all aflutter, especially when feeling Sam's hot mouth on his neck leaving scorching kisses which made their way to his lips and they just stayed that way for a while, absorbing the love and quiet washing over them.

"Open.." Dean urged, unable to contain his excitement and putting the kibosh on the brand of affection he knew damn well would just lead to more public fuckery. There luck foryaying into that arena wouldn't hold and besides, he'd booked a pretty nice spot for the night with the full intention of absolutely wrecking his brother after what Sam had pulled the previous night. 

Sam cleared his throat and took a second to calm down, then Dean witnessed the thousand watt smile spreading across his brother's face just as he'd hoped. 

"We're going to the Grand Canyon?"

Shrugging, Dean tried being cool about it. "Figure we've earned a celebration vacation, in style. "

"Hell yes! This is gonna be awesome, Dean. Thank you." 

Dean backed out of the scenic spot, even spying the precise tree that'd cut his back to hell and where Sammy's gorgeous ass had gotten so sunburned. As they shoved back onto the 580 that would take them the hundreds of miles down to Bakersfield where they'd cut across to head past Vegas and beyond, Dean pulled Sam into his chest, wanting to just hold his brother, enjoying this closeness for which both had always longed. 

"Ya know you're plan to go into sustainable ag is kind of perfect really," Sam commented with a smile. 

Dean kissed the top of his head, looking out at the long expanse of the open road ahead of them. "How so?"

Sam explained, "I'm going into environmental law. Lots of farmland on the northern part of the county. Just look at Salinas. And it's so close to the coast."

"Mmmkaayyy…" Dean still was unsure how that came into play.

"Well there's plenty of environmental law firms I've been keeping my eye on there, as well as sustainable ag firms."

"You suggesting we move, Sammy?" Dean asked, having given it a far amount of consideration himself. "Sounds like there's potential for employment, not to mention beaches. You, me, toes in the sand...nobody knows-"

"-that we're brother's. Pretty big LGBT community...yeah…" Sam interrupted in answer. 

They had a lot of things to discuss. Selling the family land was no easy decision or quick process. There was no guarantee they'd both find work in Salinas. But the upsides to if they did, were enough to make them want to give it a shot. Much needed to be discussed. And there was time. They had countless hours of this, of unterupted time with each other ahead. The morning summer sun smiled on their eastward journey, just as it would when returning via the miles upon miles of open road greeting them in their sunshine state.