Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Somehow.

Such a powerful word with a myriad of applications.

Somehow, she knew her parents hadn’t left her on that lifeless banthashit planet willingly.

Somehow, she managed to admit how badly she wanted to take Ben Solo’s hand

Somehow, she managed to heal him.

Somehow, flying Luke’s rustbucket X-wing, she made it to Exegol (and miraculously so did he)

Somehow, Kylo Ren returned as her Ben, taking his place by her side, in the light, where he truly belonged.

Somehow, the Jedi became one with her.

Somehow, she defeated the Emperor… Her grandfather.

Somehow, she woke up to find herself cradled in Ben’s arms; marvelling at the warm, subtle, strength of his embrace and the softness of his lips against her own despite their frantic kiss.

Somehow, it all went horribly wrong…

Just when everything had seemed perfect, the scales of fate tipped out of her favour. She’d been ready to kiss him again at the sight of that private, beautifully crooked smile; instead… She choked on a sob, fresh tears gathering in her eyes as the light faded from his eyes.

He fell back and as he began to disappear, she screamed in time with her shattering heart.

Deep within, she felt their bond, a dyad he’d called it, draining away. She had never felt such pure anguish and the space its absence was leaving inside her was so horrifically hollow she madly scrambled to do something- anything to salvage it.

Rey reached out with her feelings, ignoring the overwhelming darkness of Exegol which filled her senses.

As long as she could still see him it had to be there, every millisecond that passed the more he vanished, she needed to hurry!

Finally, she found it… Him… Ben’s life force.

It was damaged, weak and lacking its usual brilliant warmth, but it was there and while the cold feeling of his receding existence would haunt her forever, she wouldn’t let it assuage her.

Grasping the tattered threads of Ben’s life and their connection, she began wrenching their energy back from the beyond with all the strength she could muster. It was dangerous considering the state she was in, but there wasn’t a single part of her that wouldn’t gladly choose to die with him if- if- No! she wouldn’t let herself think like that.

SHE WOULD NOT FAIL!

There was no room for such negativity, not while she was fighting for his life, for their future, for everything she had ever dreamed of having; love, a family, a home, belonging deeper than anything she had ever felt before or would feel again if he died.

Her cries of pain and heartache turned to manic desperation as she fought the will of the force until, finally, something shifted.

Unaware of the physical strain she had put herself under by playing cosmic tug-o-war with her beloved’s life, she fell backwards, finding a sudden lack of resistance from her invisible, omnipotent opponent.

She watched in awe as his body solidified once again. The scar she gave him on Starkiller had already been healed on Kef-Bir, along with all his other major injuries (all of which were her fault), but for some reason witnessing his form manifest by her hand made him seem whole in an entirely new way.

A moment later, her vision went white, and his force signature was reborn, exploding back to full strength, a roaring, twisting flame so familiar she wanted to cry with relief.

But he didn’t take a breath.

She let go of their tethers, feeling their bond snap back into place and waited.

It was taking too long! His chest stubbornly refused to rise and while she couldn’t feel a pulse, she could sense his heart beating.

“Come on, Ben! Breathe! Please, you sith-spitting, son of a bantha!”

She resisted the urge to hit him, instead, she recalled the extended medpac and resuscitation training she had received before flying a mission to Mon Cala in the months after Crait.

She could practically hear Doctor Kalonia in her ear explaining how to breathe for a patient, how to keep their heart beating and use a defibrillator to shock their heart into a regular rhythm…

She scurried closer, leaning over his supine form with one last check to confirm he needed her to do this.

She tilted his head back quickly, pinching his nose and opening his mouth (making certain she wasn’t resting her hand over his throat) to seal her lips over his, exhaling twice while she pointedly tried not to think about how devastating an imitation it was of their kiss not five minutes before.

Hands positioned at the centre of his broad chest, she set to work, pumping his heart, ignoring the sickening sound of his ribs cracking until she reached thirty and moved to breathe for him once again; It was of little consequence, she would heal him as soon as she could when he woke.

Losing herself in the monotonous rhythm, she began to meditate on her next step. Without an advanced medpac handy, she would need to get creative and that meant exercising more control over her abilities than she ever possessed.

Sidious… Palpatine, whatever the hell his kriffing name was (seriously, why did dark siders need so many?) used force lightning to wreak destruction and pain, the perfect instrument of the sith… His heiress, the last vestige of his blood and legacy was determined to do the opposite.

Working on little more than adrenaline and hope, she tugged his sweater up and over his head, not wanting to melt the material to his skin.

Sparks danced and arced between her fingers as she prepared herself. Her focus sharpened as she gave him two final breaths before spreading her fingers above his heart and sending a bolt of electricity racing into the depths of his chest.

“Be with me.”

Seconds passed and nothing happened. She gave him another round of compressions and two more breaths, unchecked tears rolling down her nose, coming to rest on his cheek, as though he had shed them himself.

“Be with me.”

She shocked him again. Waiting for a sign of life, fear rose, acrid in her throat.

“BE WITH ME!!!”

Her tearful scream echoed off the onyx walls surrounding them, seemingly amplified with each repetition until she could hear nothing else.

“Please… Come back…”

Sobbing into her hands, taunted by the voice of her foolish hope, overwhelmed by her ultimate failure, she didn’t hear his pained gasp as his body sought to replenish the oxygen it had been screaming for. She didn’t hear the laboured breaths that followed or the low whine that accompanied his discovery of just how many ribs she had cracked when he attempted to reach for her.

She did, however, feel the pebble hit the top of her head. Then another…

The room immediately went silent and she finally heard it; soft wheezing that sounded like-

She tore her hands from her face, blinking rapidly until the blurriness cleared to reveal the most radiant, loving expression she had ever witnessed (and it was all for her).

Only she wasn’t returning it (at least not right away).

“HOW DARE YOU KRIFFING LAUGH, BEN SOLO!!! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH, LASERBRAIN!!!”

“I’m sorry?” he tried to stifle another chuckle which only enraged her more.

“YOU DIED! YOU WERE ALMOST GONE AND THEN I HAD TO… To-” she paused hoping to take a deep breath (or two) to steady herself, instead her emotions decided to continue tumbling out of her mouth.

“- YOU- YOU THREW A ROCK AT ME!”

“Technically, two and I didn’t 'throw' them, I used the force.”

Her scowl deepened and he laughed again, wincing for a split second before his adoration returned. Her heart flipped in spite of her farcical anger.

“I am sorry, Rey-” His gaze turned impossibly soft, melting her stony features in turn.

He was already forgiven.

Unwilling to move him without help, but unable to stay away, Rey pulled herself closer, hardly caring about the coarse black dirt working into the light fabric of her clothes.

Mindful of his ribs, she propped him up slightly, letting his shoulders rest in her lap, his head supported by her arms and torso. It was the optimal position for her to lean down and pepper kisses to his hair and brow; a realisation she immediately took advantage of.

She’d never imagined Ben to be much of a scoundrel (though she had suspected he had ulterior motives for refusing her request to put on a cowl or a damn shirt), but then again she had a bad habit of underestimating just how often he emulated the Han Solo of Leia’s tales.

When he tilted his head back to steal a proper kiss, she was almost surprised and very, very willing.

This time it was languid, they had none of the adrenaline and all the time in the world. She could have kissed him for hours, revelling in the warmth of his lips to erase the memory of how alarmingly chilled they had been minutes ago.

When they finally broke apart, pupils blown wide and struggling for breath, he smirked, caressing her face with a tenderness that made Rey feel whole.

Until, in typical Solo fashion, he went and ruined the moment.

“Would’ve at least expected an ‘I love you, I know’ by now.”

Well, maybe not quite. He was right; it was long overdue.

“I do. Love you, that is.”

“I know… I love you too Rey, more than my own life.”

“Yes, I am well aware of that, but you didn’t have to go and prove it.” She bit back.

He sighed shallowly and she was certain he would have scrubbed his hands down his face if it didn’t hurt so much to move.

“I could say the same about you, sweetheart.”

She wanted to argue, point out that she was in the right; but before she could, their bond provided her with a glimpse of the memory he had recalled, justifying his statement.

She could feel the pain radiating from his broken leg, the way it burned to crawl out of that pit only to see herself sprawled out, lifeless, her hazel eyes vacant. She felt the moment his heart ripped in two, pleading for someone- anyone to help her, the decision to sacrifice himself when no one answered. Suddenly there was no reason to debate with him. They would both have to live with the trauma of death and resurrection; all that mattered was that they had survived it, no matter how bloody and broken.

She hadn’t realised she was crying again until he was there wiping away her tears with an unsteady, gentle hand, needlessly gritting his teeth just to comfort her.

It was enough to remind her that she needed to comm for help. However, she was far from ready to let him out of her sight. She stayed until her legs were numb and prickling like static, whispering sweet nothings until he plucked the errant thought from her head and made a wry observation that made her want to contact the Resistance even less.

“I wonder if they’ll bother with a trial… They’d be right to execute me on sight.”

“What are you talking about, no one is taking you from me.” She defended with a possessive, confused frown.

“Rey, come on, you have to face facts. Kylo Ren is a war criminal; I may not have agreed with Starkiller, but I was still complicit in what happened in the Hosnian System, I’ve murdered and tortured, I had no sense of mercy before you, and then after Ha-Dad and the throne room with Snoke…” he trailed off.

“You became Supreme Leader.” She supplied for him.

He nodded and she felt his force signature flicker with remorse.

“You might have saved me Rey, but I don’t think it’s going to be much of a life; I know what I’ve done; logically, a good outcome would be spending the rest of it in a cell.”

He chuckled wetly at the irony and in a split-second, Rey decided she’d had enough of logic. While it had helped her survive on Jakku, the moment she left, logic became something she defied.

Nothing she ever did when it came to Ben was logical; being attracted to him in that interrogation room highly irrational; leaving him alive after she defeated him, completely insane; taking his hand on Ahch-To (falling for him in the process) certifiable; shipping herself to him aboard the Supremacy, the single most stupid thing she had ever done in her life; trying to turn him back to the light in the elevator while she tried not to kiss him, straight up barvy and the same could be said about every other encounter they had.

There were so many times she did the opposite of what was necessary for her survival and look at how it worked out… He was Ben Solo again, he was alive, very much in love with her and she had finally discovered what a damn good kisser he was; she counted that as the ultimate success story.

Now that she had him, keeping him safe was going to require more of the same and a little trickery to boot… That was when the idea struck her.

“Ben, you’re not going to like this, but I think I might just have a way to solve that problem.”

Chapter Text

Two hours later, they were finally ready for Rey to make the call. She commed the Resistance, quoting her identification code and asking to speak to General Poe Dameron.

“Sunshine! You’re alive! Stars, its good to hear your voice.”

She smiled, hearing Finn and Rose murmuring and scuffling in the background, trying to get closer

“You too Poe. Finn, Rose I know you’re listening in.”

“We’re all here, we’re safe,” Finn added quickly

“Oh sure, all safe, plenty of close calls before the FO went down though.” Replied Rose without a hint of shame regarding her obvious snark.

Clearly there was more to that story, but it would have to wait.

“Where are we headed, now that it’s over?”

“We’ll meet you back at base Sunshine.”

“Roger that Poe, we’ll meet you there; over and out.”

“Wait- What? We who, Rey? WHO’S WE!?”

She switched off her comm-link and looked over at Ben; his appearance was quite the jarring sight.

Minimally healed to the best of her enervated abilities, which was to say he could breathe somewhat easier and sort of walk; clad in a blueish-grey jumpsuit with a bright orange vest scavenged from his TIE; she had to work to adjust to seeing him in something other than his usual sleek, black attire.

A pair of wireframe glasses she was almost certain had belonged to Luke (though he would never have admitted needing them) perched on the bridge of his aquiline nose, and she swore she could see him mentally resisting the urge to reach up and scratch at her repurposed, trimmed bantha fur satchel that served as his wig.

It was the best disguise she could manage with such limited resources, but at least he didn’t look completely ridiculous.

She studied him again, raking her eyes over his choppy haircut, awkward smile and ill-fitting uniform...

Okay, he looked completely ridiculous and objectively the sandy blonde, bantha wig wasn’t doing him any favours compared to his real, soft, raven locks, but in her opinion, it was kind of adorable (force help her if she told him that with the way he ‘itched’ to complain).

“Tell me your name again?” she needled while folding his clothes into a bundle around the Imperial patches torn off his new garb, pointedly ignoring the scorched hole she had left in his sweater.

“I’m Matt.”

“And???”

“I worked for the First Order as a radar technician.”

“Why’d you decide to defect, Matt?”

He huffed and rolled his eyes so hard she was almost concerned they would get stuck in the back of his head. She could feel his sarcastic response building through their bond.

“Is ‘because I fell in love with this beautiful, powerful, warrior from Jakku’ an acceptable answer?”

“Bennnn!” she whined but preened internally at his honest statement.

“Fine. I stole a TIE and got the hell off my destroyer because I didn’t agree with the generals dragging us to the middle of nowhere to serve some creepy Emperor that came back from the dead. Also, the First Order was really, reallymean to me… They deserved to get blown up.”

“Better, just lose the sarcasm and we should be fine. They’ll all be half-drunk and celebrating by the time we get back to base, they’ll hardly notice if your backstory is a little off.”

Ben grunted noncommittally and Rey was almost certain she heard him mutter ‘Not kriffing likely’ under his breath.

“Cheer up B-Matt. Its going to be fine; this is only temporary until they get used to you, then they’ll be too busy setting up the new government to be concerned with wherever Kylo Ren ran off to.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure; but you’ve proved me wrong before, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”

“You did say it yourself.” She chirped.

“I wasn’t thinking I’d end up in a terrible wig and glasses when I said Kylo Ren was the war criminal.”

“Hey, I brought you back from the dead… Last. Just be thankful I found a loophole that also made me hate that damn mask you wore a little less.”

“Mmh, and does the fact Snoke made speaking my real name a crime punishable by death change your thoughts on him at all?” He teased as she helped him stand, heading for her X-wing and his TIE.

“Ben, don’t be a nerfherder.”

“Who’s Ben?”

“Oh, for Forces’ sake!”

He smiled again and her knees went a little weak as they walked back to their ships (but that could easily have been put down to exhaustion). That free expression, all of this, it was more than she could have asked for, more than she knew she needed.

It was a hard journey, but Ben needed help, so they soldiered on. Climbing was the hardest part and it became clear to her that in the heat of the moment he had never thought he would be coming back alive.

‘I didn’t think we would’

He whispered sadly through their bond as she pulled him over the ledge that signalled, they were almost out.

The second he was on solid ground, her lips found his. It was artless, but he returned it with just as much fervour; his glasses were an uncomfortable obstacle, and his sandy hair felt coarse, rough and irritating under her hands, but she was unsure of how else to express the tsunami of joy that accompanied the fact he was there, leaving alongside her, that he came back for her in so many ways.

Thoroughly rumpled and breathing hard, she stared affectionately at him while he wiped the fog and residual droplets of condensation from his glasses; he was so incredibly beautiful, a spark of possessiveness flared deep within and she purposefully traced the line of his absent scar, missing her blatant claim on him.

“It’s still carved into my soul. I am as much yours as you are mine.”

He reached across her and swiped his thumb over the leather band covering the oddly shaped scar from their battle against the praetorian guard in the throne room, his eyes flicking to her lips once more.

Much as she wanted to waste time, she needed the relief of seeing him in a bacta suit yesterday. R’iia only knew what other injuries he had sustained.

“Come on Flyboy, we’ve got places to be and people to convince before I can get you all patched up.”

He grunted, letting her help him to his feet, careful not to jostle his leg too much.

By the time they made it back to their ships, Rey was feeling the keen loss of her adrenaline and Ben was doing everything he could to not cry out with each step, his energy too depleted to call on the force to dull his senses or draw on the dark power of his own pain to fuel his actions.

Tossing his things in her X-wing, she froze.

“Ben-I mean Matt-” she quickly self-corrected, she was going to have to get it right before they arrived on Ajan Kloss.

“-Can you fly at all?”

“Not really, sweetheart.” He ground out, looking paler by the minute.

“OSIK!” she cursed in Mando’a “Which ship is bigger?”

“Th- the TIE. There’s slightly mmh- more- space between the seat and controls.”

She quickly retrieved his things, flipping gracefully down before helping him over to his stolen TIE fighter.

“Any other time I’d be more than happy to take advantage of you sitting in my lap, except right now.” He remarked, gingerly lowering himself into the cockpit.

She followed, careful not to hurt him along the way, grinning shyly from ear to ear. Ben Solo could be as much of a rascal as he wanted, so long as he kept looking at her with that trademark intensity that betrayed how honest he was being. Frankly, she had always wanted to take more than just his hand.

“Okay, let’s get this baby in the air… Stars above, I have always wanted to try this!”

She felt him suck in a worried breath behind her as she went through her flight check, starting up the fighter.

“You haven’t flown one of these before?”

“Nope, but it can’t be that hard.”

“Rey-!” he yelped.

She took off, speeding through Exegol’s airspace trailed by that all too familiar whine, weaving her way through falling debris until, at long last, they rose above the orbit of the battle to truly begin again.

Chapter Text

Ben’s heart was pounding for so many reasons.

The love he had for the girl he’d carried off Takodana contributing most to its persistent racing.

Her abilities as a pilot came in at a close second. She was terrifyingly adept considering she had never flown a TIE. Sure, he’d had to choke down a scream on take-off, but inevitably, he trusted her not to kill them; after all, he had witnessed first hand how well his little scavenger handled the Falcon numerous times.

And third; the not so small and extremely pressing fact he’d have to be dead (all jokes aside) not to feel a modicum of arousal regarding the way she was seated in his lap, navigating through the dense asteroid field surrounding the sith world fading into the background… Actually, now that he thought about it, that had less to do with his heart rate and more the inconvenient area his heart was functionally pumping blood to.

She shifted to reach for the hyperdrive, and his posture stiffened.

There was no way she couldn’t feel how embarrassingly hard he was growing beneath her.

‘Kriff, but what a way to go’ supplied the shadowy, lascivious voice in his brain that often made its presence known when he allowed himself to muse about Rey.

‘Shut up.’

Curling in on himself, he could feel the shame and self-doubt trickling in; there was so much they hadn’t dealt with, more that he hadn’t processed yet; there had been hardly any time for conversation between stupidly throwing his most effective weapon into the sea, stealing a TIE, killing Palpatine, saving her, that phenomenal kiss, being saved himself and kissing again...

He really hadn’t planned on coming back alive, landing on Exegol with nothing but his wits, the force and a blaster from his Uncle Lando that he had taken from the unsalvageable wreckage of his ‘TIE Whisper’ on Pasana.

There were few things he kept from the days before joining Snoke, but there were tokens of a life he couldn’t quite let go of. The blaster was one, his chosen name another poignant reminder; a mix of Skywalker and Solo, he still held on desperately to his past. It was almost comical the level of hypocrisy, having the gall to tell Rey to ‘let the past die’.

Now he was truly torn between two sides, his tentative grasp on the light inside himself opened him up to all kinds of emotions he had long suppressed, which in turn also fed the swirling darkness that remained.

He was grey, not quite one or the other but completely unsure of how to maintain his balance long term.

He tightened his grip on Rey’s waist, needing something real to keep him from drowning in the black depths of his viscous guilt. It also served the secondary purpose of keeping her still while they jumped to hyperspace.

‘I promised I’d help you when the time came. It’s a promise I won’t break, but you have to let me.’

He could feel the warmth of her reassurance down the bond. It wasn’t enough to get him back to total safety, but it helped him stay above it for a little while longer.

‘I don’t know how to thank you.’

‘Your feelings are so loud you don’t have to. I already know.’

Feeling braver than he had moments ago, he let himself be; she finalised setting their course and after turning to face him, found herself firmly tucked against his chest.

With her head buried in the crook of his shoulder, Ben tried to keep his breathing even, hoping that a steady, rhythmic rise and fall would help her journey off to sleep. It took a little while, but eventually, he sensed her dreaming and feeling satisfied, let himself drift off.

When he finally regained consciousness, careful to avoid the usual panicked jolt that accompanied waking, he found Rey still fast asleep, snoring lightly with her hand clutching the neck of his sweater.

His heart ached pleasantly at the thought of how much trust she had in him.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he studied her intently. This was the first time she had ever truly been so vulnerable around him, the first time he’d really been able to get close outside the heat of battle.

The first thing he noticed was the light smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks, remnants of a life infused with sunlight, and yet she preferred (and longed) for the rain and stars. Her lips were next, chapped but perfect, he knew exactly how soft and right they felt against his own; in some respects, he had died happy possessing such knowledge. She had a cute little nose and lashes that brushed her cheeks as her hidden hazel eyes followed whatever she saw in her dreams.

He brushed away a wisp of softly coiled hair before it had a chance to bother her and was met with an adorably sleepy whine…

Careful to wake her gently, Ben moved to check their course and location, finding that their nap (read: micro coma) had passed so much time they were moments away from dropping out of hyperspace and arriving on Ajan Kloss.

“You really think this-“ he gestured to himself vaguely “-is going to work?”

“Who am I to say you aren’t who you claim to be?” she rebutted with a playful smirk, taking the controls and beginning their descent into the depths of one of the most luscious jungles he had ever laid eyes on.

They were surrounded by earth and life and pulsing energy he hadn’t expected. Having spent months at a time surrounded by cold, lifeless durasteel aboard his ship, only to land on planets aligned with the dark side, it was overwhelming to be in the presence of so much neutral force.

“I felt the same… that day on Takodana, when I discovered my powers.”

“I remember. Just before I found you, I could feel your awe, there was so much joy surrounding you it wasn’t hard to follow your trail.”

She chuckled lightly

“I didn’t even know I was projecting. I’d just never seen so much green; it was so vibrant compared to Jakku it almost felt like I could talk to the trees.”

“I’m sorry I ruined that for you.”

“I’m not.”

She was so matter of fact about it; as if he hadn’t hunted her, stolen a precious moment of joy, frightened her beyond comprehension, abducted her... It had hurt to feel how afraid she was when he froze her; so much so, he couldn’t bear to apprehend her conscious, to have her fight him, to listen to another moment of her unbridled terror clanging in his ears as she persisted, in vain to escape his hold.

Deep down he was still that monster, dressed in nothing but his undershirt or in the ridiculous get-up he was currently in, Kylo Ren would always be there lurking beneath the surface, clawing at the timid restraints Ben was working on fortifying.

Clearly having felt his spiral, Rey turned and took his face in her hands, her thumb caressing along the line of his cheekbone until he managed to make eye contact. Choosing her words carefully she elaborated, staring him down with a deep determination to help him understand.

“If I had been able to cloak my force signature, I never would have boarded the Finalizer. I might have been afraid, but the second I saw the man beneath the mask I was… Intrigued, to say the least.”

“H-how… But wh-”

“But nothing! Look, loving you doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten who you were or what you did, but it does mean I can forgive you for it, or at least work on it. Right now, I understand you’re struggling, I am too… But frankly, we’ve been through so much, we both died today and I’m not taking what comes next for granted. So, I’m going to sneak you into the ranks of the resistance, get you to the medbay and when we’re done there, I’m taking you back to my quarters and having my merry way with you, provided that’s what you want?”

Ben swallowed thickly and bit down on his lip, hard enough to reopen the barely healed split. His entire body was tense, rippling with need, and it took an epic amount of restraint on his part not to skip right to Rey’s step three with the resistance base in sight, right there in the cockpit of his stolen Empire era TIE.

“Is that what you want?”

Kriff, he’d forgotten she’d asked him a question.

“I- its- I want… I want to, with you.”

Berating himself internally for being so inarticulate, he could have sworn he heard his mother’s laughter from the beyond, and the quietest whisper of ‘So much like your father…’ that sounded an awful lot like Luke.

Sensing presences he didn’t particularly want watching what he and Rey might eventually get up to, he made a point of projecting a resounding ‘Kark off’ through the force, making Rey giggle as she landed their ship among X-wings and scrappy speeders.

The atmosphere on the ground was a sensory overload, half the crowd were too wrapped up in celebration to bother with the random TIE that landed on their strip, the other half were suspicious, crowding around the moment they realised it wasn’t completely hostile.

After powering down, Rey clambered out first to the relief of everyone; standing on top of the tie she reached down, pulling him up with her.

He could feel the eyes and hear the whispers without ever taking his eyes off her.

Resisting the urge to adjust his wig or fiddle with his vest, he climbed down and leaned against their ship, watching her aura brighten further at the sight of Chewie, the traitor, an unknown woman and the pilot he’d interrogated so long ago; Dameron, if he recalled correctly.

A flash of possessiveness coursed through him and he immediately smothered it. Refusing to complicate Rey’s life like that; He resolved not to let that part of the dark side in, he wouldn’t taint the sacred bond they shared with bitterness over the easy way she interacted with people.

Still, watching on, he found the nature of his jealousy shifting; attuned to the force it wasn’t hard to miss the way Dameron’s eyes lingered on Rey, how he hugged her tighter than FN-2187, breaking away from their group hug to spin her a little.

Deciding not to be resentful meant Ben had the capacity to understand if nothing else. Studying the ground, unhindered by rage, he took the time to consider the Pilot’s side, supplementing with his own knowledge.

Rey was transcendent; beautiful, compassionate, whip-smart, resourceful and powerful too; not that he cared, she didn’t need it to be his whole world… She was so easy to love.

'Ben.’

He glanced up to find her blushing deeply, his body involuntarily responding by tinging his pale skin a similar shade of pink (right to the tips of his disproportionate ears).

She looked away, extricating herself from the tight embrace of his now retreating Uncle, before speaking to the trio inaudibly with a serious look on her face.

A few moments later they were scrutinising him, simultaneously marching over for what he knew would most likely be an awkward series of introductions.

“Rey-” Finn leaned closer to whisper “-You know he looks an awful lot like…”

“Kylo Ren? Yeah. Apparently, he gets that a lot; personally, I don’t see it.”

“Peanut, they could practically pass for twins! I think you need to get your eyes checked.”

As the distance closed, having heard the tail end of their conversation, Ben decided there was no better time to speak up, his brain, unfortunately, didn’t agree, and he blurted out the first unfortunate sentence it could construct.

“Well, I’m sure my brother would be flattered you think so.”

Where in the galaxy had that come from! Ben scrambled to get things back under control but, he just dug the hole deeper from there.

He was confused, Rey was bemused and their impromptu web of lies grew ever more complex as he recounted Matt's imaginary backstory.

His twin brother, Randy supposedly worked as an intern on the Harbinger, while he had gone into maintenance. unfortunately, they didn't talk much these days, what with Matt being the black sheep of the family.

After barely escaping Starkiller with his life, he (Matt) was transferred, only to defect during the battle of Exegol.

Rey stood beside him as he told the sorry story of his defection, fielding the odd question or two about his cover and how he came to find her. However, it still felt very much like an interrogation and Ben, being on the back foot, was anxious, uncomfortable and particularly unsettled by the feisty head maintenance tech (if he’d read her rankings correctly), Rose Tico.

She was relentless and thorough, double and sometimes triple-checking parts of his story. For some unknown reason, Ben immediately liked her.

“So, Matt, which one of those destroyers were you stationed on again?”

“I defected from the Steadfast.”

“How’d you manage to find a vintage TIE?”

“It belonged to the Supreme Leader; part of his collection and much easier to steal considering he wanted the tech to remain authentic; no security updates.”

“Sounds to me like Kylo Ren is my kind of nerd... Ya know, minus the murdery stuff. Still, we were on The Steadfast… I’m pretty sure I would have noticed a ship like that-” she gestured broadly at the ship “- taking off.”

Kriffing hell, she had him there! (And unfortunately, he had to admit she was right about him being a nerd).

‘Want me to-’

‘No, I’ve got it.’

“All due respect, but in the middle of a battle, a vintage TIE would be pretty easy to miss; Kylo Ren’s TIE Silencer on the other hand… Or his TIE Whisper, would stick out like dog’s choobies.”

“How’d you even manage to make planetfall? Wasn’t Ren on your tail?”

Kriff, he needed an excuse fast!

“No, I made sure to put a few obstacles in his way; Mostly I joined on with small teams of fighters and when they dived I’d go further, join a lower group, dive again until I hit clear airspace, then it was a simple matter of pretending that was what I was supposed to be doing and hauling ass before the Resistance or the Order could shoot me down.”

“Hmm, good point. I mean the whole thing is so wild there’s no way he’s lying… What do you guys think?”

She turned to Finn and Poe, who were all clearly burning with varying questions of their own. Once they got started, Ben couldn’t help but wonder if he would be standing there all night.

“…Why are you so built for a Radar tech, don’t you guys dwell in basements and stuff?”

“I like to keep fit… You got a problem with that?”

“No… Just… I know troopers that aren’t even remotely in your league… Except maybe Phasma.”

“Well I suppose I ought to take that as a compliment; so, I guess…Um, thanks.”

He shifted, trying to subtly convey his intention to leave; Dameron ignored it.

“Wait, Matt; one more?”

“Shoot.”

“Okay, what I want to know is…” He paused for effect causing mass internal panic for both Ben and Rey.

“…Did you get a look at that bastard, Kylo’s face when you stole his TIE?”

He had to stop himself sighing with relief.

“No, because he wears a helmet.”

“Oh. Right, of course.”

“Sorry… But; I did get to watch him turn around and destroy a command console with his lightsaber.”

“Yes!!!” Poe fist pumped before continuing. “-Then he was pissed!?”

“Oh yeah, totally; He fried the entire thing, sliced it clean in half; actually, it's part of the reason I left, I got sick of fixing all the kriffing stuff he demolished. Wanna guess how many times I had to repair this one panel next to his chambers?”

“Uhh, nine?”

“Uh-uh. Higher.”

“Fifty?” Finn interjected.

All eyes turned to him, assuming he had legitimate intel to base his guess off.

“What? He had a lot of tantrums!” he defended.

Ben glared at him despite the fact everyone knew he wasn’t always as cool as a dead star.

“Mm, Lower.”

“Twenty- eight?”

“Close, it was twenty-three.”

Technically, twenty-three was something of a half-truth, he hadn’t called for maintenance every time.

Snoke had never been a kind master and with so few ways to vent the hateful rage he stoked in his apprentice during training, destruction occurred on a regular basis around his assigned chambers aboard Starkiller and the Finalizer; however, With a good background in mechanics, courtesy of Chewie, he often figured out how to fix the damage himself, only calling for a tech when his saber had been involved or he managed to hit something beyond his expertise. Even firmly entrenched in the dark side, Ben knew better than to treat techs like that.

“Seriously? What an ass! I would have left sooner if I were you.”

Now that, Dameron was correct about.

“I know, I should have realised sooner that what I was supporting wasn’t right, but the muffins in the mess on Vev-deck were to die for.”

He looked down at Rey, knowing she’d catch his meaning through his poor attempt at humour.

“Hm; well, you’re late to the party, but you’re here now and that’s what matters.”

Poe stuck out his hand to shake and Ben hesitantly took it, wincing when he squeezed his bruised knuckles a little too hard.

Somehow, Rey’s plan had worked.

Somehow, they got away with it.

Somehow, even Finn had been fooled.

It was a miracle.

Rey dragged him off seconds later; cutting short his fledgeling conversation with Dameron about how his pilfered TIE handled (typical pilot’s chatter as his father called it) and bid her friends goodnight with a cheery wave and a promise to catch them at breakfast the following morning.

It was a slow hobble to the medbay, and by the time they reached the waiting area, it was a relief to take a seat. However, Ben’s newfound sense of peace was quickly disrupted; The past he wanted to kill so desperately was having a kriffing field day dredging up old memories and putting him in the path of people he’d known since birth.

Doctor Kalonia was completely run off her feet, speeding past himself and Rey multiple times before she realised that she had new patients waiting on her.

Ben tried not to panic at the sight of the woman who helped his mother bring him into the world, and Rey did her best to see him through when Kalonia’s attention finally turned to them. Clearly karma had a sense of humour; one neither of them were fond of.

“My goodness! Rey why didn’t you tell me you were here!”

“Sorry Harter, you looked like you were in the middle of something, didn’t want to disturb any lifesaving work.”

“And who’s your friend here? He looks… Familiar?”

“This is Matt, he’s an Order deserter.”

“Well, fancy that! I could have sworn he was the spitting image of… No, he couldn’t possibly be-” she shook her head, an attempt at manually clearing a memory from her mind’s eye.

“-Desertion certainly explains the odd uniform, how’d you manage to find us, young man?”

“Oh, I didn’t- Rey found me. We bumped into each other after I escaped the battle and landed on Exegol; she saved me.”

Kalonia sighed into her hand.

“Isn’t that just terribly romantic. Sounds like something out of a Holodrama.”

“Thank you Doctor Obvious.” Rey teased in response.

“Dearie, a word of advice, sometimes a little less subtlety goes a long way; there’s a reason those holos are so successful.”

Rey turned and pressed a feather-light kiss to Ben’s cheek in response.

“Unfortunately, the Doc is right, sweetheart.”

“I like him. He's smart enough to agree with his elders.”

Ben smiled, giving Rey a playful nudge.

“And you were worried I wouldn’t make any friends.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that just yet, Matt. You might not like me so much after I poke and prod at those ribs and reset that broken leg.”

“You might have a point there, Doc; we’ll see how good the meds you give me are, then I’ll make up my mind.”

“Alright, let’s get you fixed up then-” she stepped away, pulling her comm off her collar with purpose.

“- I need a chair in the waiting room, clear a bed and prep me a bacta suit and a kark-ton of patches!”

“-Roger that, Chief.” Came the cracking reply from her comm.

“I’ll personally see to you next, Rey dear, if you don’t mind a little wait?”

“Honestly, if I could just have a bacta patch or two, I think I can manage.”

“Then I’ll have DA-15Y bring a few out to you ASAP.”

At that moment a nurse arrived with a wheelchair and Ben was almost immediately carted off by Kalonia.

“Take good care of him.” She called after them before sitting back to wait for the droid bearing bacta for her smarting cuts and bruises to arrive.