Chapter Text
“What’s that one?”
“That is Ohitsujiza, the White Tiger,” Sasori replied with ease. “Also known as Aries, the Ram.”
“Oh, I’m an Aries,” Sakura said with excitement.
“... You are very much like a ram,” he said. He knew little about zodiac nonsense, but his uncle had taught him star constellations and positions when he was young. Another hidden source of knowledge he possessed.
Sakura smacked him, and he did his best to smother a smug grin.
“Hey!”
“I never said it was an insult,” he offered.
“But it was.”
“Yes, it was.”
She fumed, and he ignored the death glare she was giving him. She so wanted to smack him again, but the twinkle in his eye stopped her. She could tell he was enjoying this.
Sakura did not expect Sasori to actually know something about space. But of course he did. He was... kind of a nerd, she realized.
“...What about those?” she asked, pointing to a cluster of stars next to the ones she picked out previously.
“Those are Subaru,” he answered calmly.
“And that one?”
She quickly pointed again at some random star that would undoubtably be assigned to some constellation. He could tell she was just challenging him at this point, to see if he really knew everything.
“That is part of Triangulum.”
“A triangle?”
“Yes,” Sasori said, lifting his arm to connect the dots.
“Oh, now I see it,” she exclaimed. “Wow, I should learn more about this. It’s kind of fun.”
Sasori was pleased that she enjoyed his interests. While Sakura would likely never see the joys of puppet-making, she could appreciate a good poison, and random scientific facts. She was interested in the caves too. In fact, Sakura was not hard to entertain in the least.
“I didn’t expect you to know this sort of thing,” she confessed.
“It can be useful while traveling,” he commented. “As a ninja, it is good to recognize your surroundings.”
“So technical. And here I thought you just liked looking at them.”
“It is a bonus.”
The two of them had inched closer to each other, to better see where their fingers were pointing at. Her chest felt light, forgetting her sorrow. For some reason, when all she could see was the open sky, she could pretend she wasn’t on earth. She could be anywhere.
Sasori briefly looked over at her, and immediately turned his face forward once more when he realized how close she was. He was considering something. After another moment of contemplation, he decided to go ahead and say it.
“... I... have a job.”
Sakura looked over at him, and grinned.
“Wait, really? The legal kind, I hope.”
Sasori nodded, choosing to ignore her quip. He had a reason for mentioning it, and didn’t want any distractions.
“The Kazekage-“
“You ran into him? And he didn’t recognize you?” she asked nervously.
“No. Don’t interrupt. Back to my point-“
He was so rude. She felt a mix of entertainment and offense fill her, and pushed them both down to listen.
“He commissioned me.”
Sasori then waited, and Sakura realized it was now ok to speak.
“As an artist?” she asked, dolling up her surprised tone for his benefit. She could tell that he was eager to tell her about this, since he went out of his way to bring it up.
“Yes. He... wants me to make a statue... in my grandmother’s honor.”
He had a hard time verbalizing it, but he felt relief that he had managed. He then watched Sakura‘s eyes widen.
Sakura was truly astonished. A strange noise escaped her throat, and she took a deep breath before trying to form her words.
“What?!”
Sasori blinked, slightly startled. He wasn’t expecting that level of a reaction from his job description.
“He asked you to... to sculpt Lady Chiyo?” Sakura asked, sitting up on her elbow to look down at him. Her eyes were wide with that tenderness he admired.
It was... the expression he wanted; he much preferred it to those she made earlier.
“Yes.”
Sakura made a ‘wow’ with her mouth, and then let out a surprised laugh. She pushed her bangs out of her face, shaking her head.
“That’s... crazy! How... how did that even work out like that?” she asked with another laugh.
She then looked back down at him. He was staring intently at her. She could have sworn he looked happy.
“It was a coincidence, I believe,” Sasori replied cooly with those half-lidded eyes of his. Sakura resisted the urge to hug him, and settled for grabbing him by the upper arms. She shook him with excitement, and he could feel his bones crying out for mercy from her iron grip, but he did not complain. Despite his sudden whiplash, he could see the grin on her face continue to spread as the concept settled in her mind.
Sakura practically squealed. Sasori was going to sculpt his grandmother??
“This is amazing!” she said, imagining the end product. “It’s...”
Suddenly, she teared up again, and Sasori opened his mouth, worried this news had somehow upset her. She saw his confusion, and she shook her hand. She then wiped her eyes, still smiling.
“I’m not upset... It’s just... This makes me so happy...”
Her voice was strained from the incredible tonic of emotions she was experiencing all at once. The thought of Sasori actually working as an artist was not something that had really occurred to her before. And the fact that Gaara cared enough to memorialize Lady Chiyo in itself meant a lot to her. Gaara really did care...
Sasori was pleased that the news had distracted her further from what was weighing on her mind, even though her excitement sometimes led to physical injury.
“Sasori, this is so exciting! It will be beautiful!”
“I have never worked with stone before,” he said quietly, simply taking in the crazed look in her green eyes.
“You’ll do great! If anyone should do it, it should be you! You’re an amazing artist!”
She was practically bouncing, completely sitting up now with her hands clasped together. She was complimenting his work again. He swallowed the lump in his throat.
“And Gaara didn’t know, but she’s... well, you know! She’s your grandmother!”
“Yes, she is,” Sasori said, remaining still with his hands resting on his stomach as though moving would freak her out further.
“And you said yes!” Sakura added, wanting to cry again. She was very fragile tonight, due to her waterworks earlier. Since they had poured out of her, it was easier than ever for them to return.
She pushed the tears back, and tried her best not to think on it too deeply. Every time she recalled Lady Chiyo, she felt grief. But for the first time, that sadness was overthrown by something positive.
When she got silent, Sasori wondered if she had a brain aneurysm. But then he realized that she was, undoubtedly, thinking about his grandmother.
“... I’m supposed to go back in the spring. I told them I was busy until then,” he offered, trying to settle her. She broke out of her reverie, and smiled once more as she crawled closer to him on her knees.
“And you’re getting paid?” she asked.
“40,000 ryo.”
“40-40,000 ryo?!” Sakura stuttered. “That’s...! That’s the rate for an A rank mission!”
The money really got her blood pumping. He wanted to laugh at her.
He had completed 29 A rank missions in total, as well as 10 S-rank ones. He made a fair amount for himself as a jounin in Sunagakure, despite their fair-weather economy. He was one of their top paid ninja at the time.
“I could buy so much dessert with that...” she mumbled, stars in her eyes.
“I’m glad to see that your priorities are straight,” he replied. She rolled her eyes.
“And you’ll have money again! You can stop mooching off of me!”
Sasori frowned at her. She giggled.
“That was a joke. I’m more than happy to feed you.”
“I found plenty at my hideout, remember? You are free of your burden.”
She leaned back down, resting her hand on her cheek as she faced him.
“You’re like an old miser. I bet you saved all of it.”
“That is the intellectual thing to do, yes,” he said, sighing. “I will pay you back.”
Sakura pursed her lips, not liking that one bit.
“No way. I wanted to do it. It will be enough of a reward to see your work finished,” she said, her voice softening at the end.
Sasori still intended to return what she had spent on him- he disliked owing favors. And he didn’t want her to realize he owed her anything. The more he thought on it, the more he remembered her doing for him. She was like a hurricane of affections. And aggression...
He sighed, and feigned defeat.
“... Very well.”
She smiled, showing off her teeth. He was close enough to take note of her good dental hygiene. In fact, he had never been this close to her during a conversation. It was like she was determined to test his sense of personal space.
But he did not mind it. Mostly because she smelled good.
“... I still can’t believe you got hired by the Kazekage to sculpt your grandmother,” Sakura mumbled, finally lying completely on her back. Sasori said nothing. He had said what he wanted to say.
“... Did you ever look at the stars with Lady Chiyo?” she suddenly asked with a yawn. As expected, she had decided to hound him on his personal life some more.
“... When I was young. My uncle was the one who really enjoyed it.”
“That’s so nice...” she said, staring up at the sky. She tried to remember which stars belonged to what constellation.
Sasori pressed his lips together into a thin line, being forced to recall more of the good times he had with his grandmother. There were more good memories than he remembered. Until recently, he had only bothered to count the bad ones.
“You’re gonna do such an amazing job,” she said in a hushed tone. She had finally calmed down.
“...”
The two settled, the conversation dying down to leave them in a comfortable silence. Neither of them wanted to move, or end the night.
Sasori had eventually lost track of time. He had not been this relaxed in... well. Ever. For once, he felt like his life wasn’t spiraling out of control. He had tied up loose ends at home, discovered all of his research, and honed new skills in the past few weeks. No one knew he existed, and nothing was expected of him: not really. He had been cooped up in Konoha for months before, but only now did it feel like a vacation to him. For once, he wasn’t bored, or inclined to seek control over everything.
He felt free. He would never want to admit it, but opening up to Sakura in Suna helped him. Things that silently ate at his soul no longer dominated his every thought. He wasn’t constantly dwelling on how to kill, or how to better carve into the dead.
For once, he could breathe.
He did not even mind lying around doing nothing on Sakura’s roof, which would normally be seen as a waste of time. Maybe it was simply because she told him to stay with her. She was so honest with what she wanted. He could never be so forthcoming with what he wanted, not like her.
He recalled how she sounded as she sobbed in front of him. It was such a contrast to their lighthearted conversation moments ago. But it took effort to console her. Not that he actively attempted to...
Maybe he...
No, he did not worry. Sakura was fine. She was-
He looked over at her. She was fast asleep.
‘I guess I shouldn't leave her on the roof...' he grumbled to himself. He then thought of what would happen, if people in the streets saw her passed out on a roof the next morning. It made him smile.
Despite the temptation to leave her, he leaned over and stared down at her with the intention of waking her. Even asleep, she looked... pained.
Sakura was really upset earlier. He himself had experienced many tragedies with people who were supposed to be close to him. But he did not react like she did. She cared so violently. It was in her tears, and in her voice. And it was all over her face...
He got lost in her sleeping face, contemplating many things. Like what he was doing back in Konoha and what he wanted.
Why did he come back?
He realized the amount of time he was watching her would be considered uncomfortable to most, so he sighed, and leaned away from her.
“Sakura, wake up."
If anything, she fell deeper into her dreams, mouth slightly agape.
“You are hopeless," he grumbled, not hesitating to flick her on the nose. She stirred, her face contorted in irritation.
“Let me sleep..." she groaned, adjusting herself slightly. Soon, she was snoring.
“You are on the roof of your house," he muttered to her. She made no move. It was almost like she was drugged.
"Are you... on sleeping medication?" he asked, hoping the answer would be no. To his dismay, she nodded her head, eyes closed.
“I'm so tired, Sasori..." she whispered dejectedly, and reached out for him. Her hand found his shirt, and she gave it a tug. She then passed out once more.
Sasori had taken medication to sleep in the past. As it was, he barely slept 6 hours per night. But once in a while, he couldn't rest a minute to save his life. A lot of ninja took meds to help recover after missions, to ignore the pain from their wounds. Or to rest their minds from whatever they needed a break from.
The fact that she took something meant that she was putting herself out of her misery. And he had interrupted her by visiting her tonight.
“You want to stay on the roof," he said, half to himself.
"Take me... back..." she breathed. She tugged on his shirt once more.
Did she seriously want him to carry her?
“You are pathetic," he hissed, visibly annoyed. But he did as she asked, and scooped her up. She flopped like a fish, and he grabbed her arm to swing it over his shoulder.
"Help me, or I will dump you."
She groaned, but held on. He swiftly stood up and jumped down, using his chakra threads to swing through her open window with ease. As soon as he spotted her disheveled bed, he threw her. She landed, rather ungracefully, onto the sheets with a thud. She was as still as a corpse. He studied her, surrounded by disarrayed sheets and pillows, and figured that was good enough for her.
As he turned around, ready to head home, she stirred.
“What, are you leaving already?" Sakura whined. She was mumbling her words in exhaustion with a loopy look in her eyes.
“What reason is there to stay? You sound drunk."
“I don't want to be alone," she whined, eyes still closed.
“You're not. Your parents are in the other room."
“You know what I mean!" she groaned. "Please, stay... I... want to ask you something."
Her words, despite being slurred, came out coherently.
“What do you want to know?" he asked, unimpressed.
“Who is Chika?"
That caught him off guard.
He assumed it was around 11:00 PM. A part of him wanted to go home and sleep. He had literally just arrived after a full day of traveling, and he was tired. But he simply could not help but entertain her prodding. He could never figure out why, when personal questions typically made him want to commit murder.
“... Are you sure you can even have a serious conversation right now?" he finally asked.
“Yes... I've just been wondering for so long... She was your teammate, but you never talked about her..."
He sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. She asked questions at the worst times... He didn’t even know what brought this on. Did talking about his grandmother somehow cause her to dwell on the rest of his past?
"Sit," she slurred, patting the edge of her bed sloppily. He disliked how intimate that option was, and settled for leaning against the window sill. She frowned, but said nothing.
“Why did you ask about her?" he asked, crossing his arms. His gaze was solemn.
"... When I was told you took her... I wondered why.”
Was she waiting the entire month to harass him about things like this?
He remained silent for another minute. She was about to drift off to sleep once more, but then he spoke.
"She had a unique set of skills."
"Right... She had a kekkei genkai... A snow and ice user," she said sleepily. "That's the only reason?"
“Why wouldn't it be?"
Sakura yawned before she could reply.
"... Did you like her?"
Sasori hated it when young people used that word in a vague context.
"Meaning?"
“You know... Were you friends? Something more?"
Sasori stiffened at the thought of Chika in a romantic context.
“No."
“No to friends or more?" she asked.
“Both."
Sakura blinked, thinking.
“Oh... So you didn't like her?"
“No."
He offered nothing else, but Sakura always had more to say.
“... Do you know why the future you killed her?"
"..."
He did find a few notes related to Chika in his hideout. And he knew that he killed her in that very cave, according to his records. It was apparent that his hatred for her only grew after he defected, and he knew that because of the information her official file offered. It told him what she became.
“Chika was a rabid dog. She despised traitors."
"... Oh, so she went after you?"
“It is likely."
Sakura laughed. Sasori stared at her in confusion.
"She must have been really strong, if she thought she could kill you," she chuckled with a dazed gleam in her eye. Sasori rolled his eyes, but felt a smirk on his lips. Drugged Sakura was even more blunt than ever, and apparently quite humorous as well.
“She was. Not as strong as I was at that point, but we were an elite team for a reason,” he replied, remembering how well they worked together in battle. When they weren’t at each other’s throats, they made a deadly duo. Of course, Komushi was not on par with them, but he did have his own set of skills. And...
He put away his memories of his Sensei, the Third. In general, all of his memories left a bitter taste in his mouth.
“... Why did she hate you so much?"
“She always did. Since she was deprived of the worship she demanded of me."
‘Is that his way of saying she was a drama queen?' Sakura wondered.
“Chika was a psychopath,” Sasori stated calmly, recognizing her inquisitive expression.
Sakura widened her eyes. Out of all the possibilities, that was not one she had considered.
“You mean like y-“
“You will say nothing,” he growled, knowing what she was thinking by the way she opened her mouth. Of course, she ignored his demand, and continued with her original statement.
“But you became one too.”
He knew that.
“We aren’t talking about me. You asked about my teammate.”
Sakura wondered why he would call Chika that. Did he think she was worse than him?
Sasori had never heard Sakura call him that before. He understood the Sasori she knew was truly detached from humanity- a true monster. But hearing it still made his chest feel tight.
“She was... bad?” Sakura whispered.
“She would take great pleasure in breaking off your limbs after freezing them,” he said. “And then she would probably skewer you. It was a hobby of hers.”
Sakura gulped.
“... Wow. Was she... I mean. Did she have trouble expressing herself like you do?”
He was amazed by her audacity. She was so blunt with the way she referred to him. First, she said he was a psychopath, and now she was saying he was emotionally stunted. He let out a small sigh.
“No. She certainly didn’t.”
Sakura tried to put all of the pieces he gave her together.
“... So... a bully?"
“I was never bullied."
Sakura said nothing. She picked up on the fact that he assumed she meant Chika bullied him specifically.
And he was lying about it. When she looked into him after Lady Chiyo's passing, she found dirt from back even into the academy days. Lord Ebizō distinctly said when he was young, he was quiet, but kind. And after his parents... he was a loner at school. He likely did it to himself, but she didn't doubt the other students abandoned him.
She knew, after seeing her file last month, that Chika and Sasori grew up together. Maybe Chika knew him before he became... what he was. Maybe she helped make him into what he was.
Suddenly, something he said to her that night in his hideout came to her mind.
(“When the war started, I was already a pariah. I was untouchable in many ways.”)
A pariah. The word created such a powerful image. Of course Sasori would never think he was bullied, but that didn’t mean people his age treated him with decency.
(“I had heard people call me... Of The Red Sand. It wasn’t... a compliment.”)
"What were you like in the academy?" she whispered, collecting the covers to wrap herself up. As she made herself comfortable, Sasori couldn’t help but feel he was telling her a bedtime story. Why did she get so much entertainment out of his life?
“I did what was asked of me."
"... No friends?"
Sasori frowned, as if disgusted by the concept.
“Not needed."
Sakura was happy he was talking to her, but she wanted him to dive a little deeper.
"... Even before your parents died?"
Her voice was so, so soft, like butter. Her droopy eyes were clouded with fatigue, but a sharpness was still there, behind the blurriness. He prevented himself from staring at her too long.
“..."
Her question brought back even more unwanted memories.
"The word 'friend' is used too lightly in society," he grumbled, closing his eyes. She only waited for more. He sighed yet again. “Why are you asking?"
“Your uncle Ebizō said you were sweet... You were always quiet, even back then... but you were a good kid."
“He told you that?"
She nodded, and yawned. But she still looked determined to know more. Sasori rested his head against the window, and inwardly groaned at her unbridled curiosity and nosiness.
"I suppose... I could have been interpreted that way once."
“So what happened?" she asked.
“My parents died."
His tone was a bit more curt than before. She didn't want to make him upset; she knew she was asking him a lot of personal questions. It was amazing he wanted to answer them. But then again, Sasori rarely rejected her attempts to get to know him better these days.
"You're still sweet sometimes," she offered. He could tell by her expression that she wasn't messing with him.
“You have never described me that way."
"I still think it."
He felt a weird twist in his stomach from that. He didn't know what it was.
“You were such a cute kid..." she sighed, burying the side of her face in her pillow. "It's a shame."
“Are you implying that I'm ugly now?" he asked, confused and slightly aghast from her rudeness. She giggled.
“No, I meant it's a shame... that you felt you couldn't be sweet anymore. You are still pretty cute."
Sasori felt a heat in the tops of his ears. Sakura was only embarrassed for a single, fleeting second, too sleepy to care.
“You are too tired to think clearly, so I will take my leave,” he mumbled, wishing he was buried alive. She did not seem to pick up on his embarrassment, only pouting at his announcement.
“Will... you still be here tomorrow?"
"... Yes."
It was a stupid question. He had told her he was coming to stay.
“Will you come see me again?"
He paused. What did she mean?
"I always visited you. I... had fun earlier, on the roof, I mean."
“When you were crying?" he asked, brow raised. She chucked a pillow at him.
"After that, you dope! I'm trying to tell you that you made me feel better. It was... nice.
“Sweet," she corrected herself, giving him a wide grin. The heat in his ears spread to his cheeks.
She was too familiar with him. His thoughts kept screaming that over and over again.
"So... you want me in your room again? It doesn't seem very appropriate."
She was amazed by the things that he thought were improper. She smiled.
“My parents have been wanting to redo dinner night with you. Why don't you have dinner with us?"
Another invitation to a social gathering… But he was actually glad that she offered. He was... hoping she would ask again.
“Sure."
Sakura could tell he was in a good mood. She stared at him intensely to commit the moment to memory. All of the attention was making him uncomfortable, and he shifted his weight awkwardly.
He looked so odd in her room, and she couldn’t place why. Of course, part of it was that Sasori looked out of place anywhere, him being from a different time and all. But it wasn’t that...
“Oh... that’s it,” she sleepily said to herself.
“What?” he asked, wondering if she was completely out of it.
“I’ve never had a boy in my room before,” she said, closing her eyes. She was so tired...
“... Are you implying something...?” he asked, genuinely unsure of her point, if she even had one.
“What do you mean?”
“A-... Never mind,” he said, thinking better of saying what was on his mind. She just needed to sleep.
When he made his move to leap out her window, she called to him again.
“Wait!”
“What?” he barked, annoyed.
“I want my pillow back.”
“The one you threw at me?”
“Yeah...”
She wasn’t even really awake at this point. He sighed, and bent over to pick up the decorative pillow that was pitifully lying on the floor. He then handed it to her.
She managed to open her eyes once more, and their eyes caught each other. She gave him an unfiltered smile that made him tense.
“Goodnight, Sasori...”
And just like that, she was passed out, pillow clutched tightly in her arms.
He never knew what to make of her. She certainly wasn’t ladylike... Even if she went out of her way to look put together, she always managed to ruin the illusion of elegance. There was an awkward bluntness to her... but he didn’t dislike it.
He then left, leaving her window open. Her curtains flowed with the night breeze, and Sakura slept soundly for the first time in days.
(Bonus: Chika design)
