Chapter Text
The next morning, Sakura got out of bed and started to pack up. After a while, everything was in place, except one thing.
‘I think... maybe he will like this,' she thought to herself, holding onto yet another gift for her introverted travel buddy. She then looked around one last time before heading out to his place.
She was rejuvinated from her conversation with Sasori last night, and ready for her trip. She hoped he felt the same way. The week was finally over, and she wanted nothing more than to sleep in her own bed, after taking a well-deserved bubble bath. There were many ups and downs, but it all turned out alright. And she was proud of herself for managing such delicate issues, since she normally butchered such things: a bull in a china shop.
And Sasori stuck with her through all of it, even if he did struggle. He trusted her, and that fact made her feel almost giddy. It was oddly rewarding...
‘It’s because... it’s him of all people.’
She smiled to herself. Everything since their first meeting had been crazy. It was crazy that he was here, in her time. And it was even crazier that he put up with her.
When she arrived at the door, she knocked politely, unlike last time. After an entire minute, the door finally cracked open to reveal Sasori in a baggy sweater. He looked groggy.
“Why are you here?"
She ignored his obnoxiously curt tone, determined to be pleasant.
“We are supposed to head out today... remember? We have spent two nights here, as planned.”
She invited herself in and stepped into the living room as she reached for her bag in search of her gift. She looked around and noticed nothing of his was put away. How odd. He was normally much more prepared for-
“I think... I’m going to stay.”
Sakura jolted as she was elbow deep into her bag, spilling her papers everywhere.
“Darn...”
She knelt down to start picking them up, shaking her head. He waited against the door, simply watching her. He did not make a move to help her, but she would never expect such a thing from him anyway. Sakura shut her eyes for a second to take in what she just heard. Did he seriously just say what she thought he said?
“Why?”
“There is more to do.”
“You mean more trouble to get into?” she asked, looking over her shoulder at him. She was giving him a glare, as he had expected. He smirked, and tilted his head.
“No trouble.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You would be a fool otherwise.”
She stood up, papers back in hand. She casually stuffed them back into her bag with a perplexed expression. When she spoke, her voice was distinctly softer, but with increased concern.
“You really expect me to just leave you here?”
“Yes.”
She frowned.
“But...”
“This IS my home, Sakura. I will be fine.”
Something about his words took her for a spin. She realized... He had said her name. It was the first time the word had left his tongue with no hint of malice in the heat of an argument, or concern in the middle of a battle. It was causal. It... sounded nice.
He was trying to assure her, in that condescending way of his.
She shifted her weight, looking down at the coffee table. He did need to talk to Lord Ebizō again... And it wasn’t like he was her prisoner. Technically, he could do whatever he wished. Still, the thought of him being separated from her...
“I... are you really sure? I’ll worry.”
“I know.”
She sighed, and pressed her palms against the fabric of her skirt out of nervousness.
“Will... you come back?”
“Yes.”
She looked up at him with newfound hope. He still had that disinterested expression on his face, but his tone was serious.
“You... do you really mean that?”
“Yes. I would not have said so otherwise.”
She was taken aback by this bold falsity.
“You lie to me all the time! Two seconds ago you said I would be a fool to believe you!”
He only allowed a trace of a smile upon his lips. She forced herself to relax her tense shoulders.
“You’re... messing with me again,” she realized.
“It has become an entertaining pastime.”
She thought on it. He was probably eager to get back to that hideout of his to go through all of his belongings... But there was no harm in that. She understood why he would want to do it alone.
“How long do you intend to stay?”
“I’m not sure. I need to organize things at my hideout as well. I didn’t have a chance to get through most of my research.”
Her assumption was dead on. She was a little jealous, wishing she could go through it with him.
“Ok, but you better bring me back something!” she blurted. He smiled at her childish demand.
If he were to share his research with anyone, it would be her. It was intriguing to see another person’s take on his work, especially someone so involved in his life. He couldn’t deny the thrill he got when they looked at his puppet body together. It was different than going about it alone. It was... almost more fun.
“Very well.”
She wasn’t expecting him to give in without a fight. It made her falter for a moment, but she quickly recovered with newfound determination. If he was going to be so agreeable, she should reward him for it. In the end, there was no point in begging him to stay with her. But...
“Please... promise me that you will come back? It is still dangerous for you here.”
It was written all over her face. Her concern was displayed to anyone who wished to see it. This was unfamiliar to him... He had spent his entire life burying concern, but she had no qualms with thrusting it upon him.
“I will send you a letter.”
That was the least believable statement of them all. He could tell she was suspicious from the squinting of her eyelids. He sighed.
“So you won’t hunt me down, thinking I’m dead.”
“...Ok.”
Sakura did not want to part ways with him. Exactly how long was he anticipating their separation to last? He had been by her side for months now, and he was...
She pursed her lips. He could tell her mind was racing, thinking of all the things that could go wrong. When she pouted, he could tell she had accepted his decision.
“Remember to patch things up with Lord Ebizō, ok? I think he would love to spend more quality time with you, even after you talk things out.”
“Why do you think I’m staying?”
She was flabbergasted. Sasori was becoming more unpredictable than ever, but it wasn’t necessarily in a bad way.
“You mean... you’re staying here to spend time with him?”
“He is the only one left in my family,” he muttered, irked that he had to respond at all. Sakura gave him a soft look.
“You... are different.”
His eyes met hers.
“Am I?”
“Yes, even... from weeks ago.”
She placed her bag over her tailbone and hooked it to her skirt.
“But you might be lying. You might do the exact opposite of everything you just said here.”
She walked up to him and changed the subject, realizing this was her last chance to say everything she wanted to him.
“... I know you didn't want me to pressure you on this but... You should visit her again sometime. I think it will be easier now...”
He was struggling to come up with something to say to that, but she then handed him something. He looked down and raised a brow.
“Don’t forget me, ok?”
It was a small, faded book that was worn on the edges. Whatever it contained, it seemed to be important to her.
“It’s my notes on your puppet body. I thought you might like to read them sometime. Give me feedback. And bring me back something new to work with?”
She asked the question in that impish tone of hers in an attempt to sound casual. But he could tell she was begging to see more of his work. Knowing her, she probably wanted to tear his hideout apart in search for information.
“...Sure.”
"This is my journal, ok? So don't lose it.”
Sakura then sighed. It was as if she were waiting for something. But neither of them knew what.
“... Be careful,” she mumbled.
Her fingers were still curled underneath his, not ready to release her grasp on the journal. They only continued to stare at each other. She did not want to have to say goodbye.
Eventually, she retreated her touch. His hand fell to his side, notes in his grip. Out of habit, she searched his doll eyes, diving into their depths in hope to find something. She was surprised to find warmth. She found herself smiling at him. He refused to mimic her, but the look in his eyes was more than enough.
“I’ll be off then,” she said, and turned around.
“Don’t die,” he muttered in a belittling fashion. That tone of his would have made her blow a gasket under normal circumstances. But this time, it made her smile. She looked back at him to express false irritation.
“You can count on it.”
She took him in one last time. It was still so strange... to see him in such close proximity. For him to speak to her so casually... It should have been impossible for him to be standing there, but there he was, making her care. Making her worry.
She held her breath, and forced herself to walk out the door.
She couldn’t believe... how easily he convinced her to leave him.
But...
Something told her he would be ok.
Sasori heard her retreating steps, and glanced down at the travel-sized book she had given him. He assumed it contained theories of hers... It had to be more than just basic observations, otherwise she wouldn’t have bothered.
Sasori realized he had never seen any of her research. She was supposedly quite brilliant.
He sat down, and sighed. It felt odd to be alone again.
He dove into the first page, and was quickly swept into the current of her written words. But the thing that surpised him the most was the photograph that fell onto the floor when he was several pages in. He picked it up, already knowing what it was.
It was a good picture of her. Not that he had any to compare it to. She was radiant in that yukata. And he looked so distant... But he remembered the evening fondly. He turned it onto its backside.
'My friend Sateki’s 16th birthday.'
It was her handwriting again. She even drew a smiley face below it. He sighed.
She was... a lot.
But he found himself staring at it for an extended period of time.
'My friend...'
He groaned in frustration and tossed the picture onto the coffee table. It landed on its front side.
He wasn't used to being showered with positive attention. Obviously. But he couldn't deny he was really starting to enjoy it.
----
Sakura sighed, and knelt down to find her water. She shuffled through her bag, and realized she never organized her papers. As she filtered through them, she noticed something unfamiliar..
What was...?
She placed a hand over her mouth as she held the foreign paper in her hands.
It was a sketch. Of her.
As her eyes poured over it, she noticed more and more details.
It was gorgeous. Sasori was incredibly talented. And he drew this the first night they were traveling when he was on the opposite side of that cave from her. She remembered he was drawing something to pass the time, but she never questioned him about it.
The picture of Sakura depicted only her face and shoulders, her eyes averted. She assumed she was organizing supplies while he was studying her...
Her shock turned into embarassment. She felt her entire face go red.
He was studying her?? He said he would never waste time drawing someone like her!
She slowly withdrew her hand from her mouth, and felt a surge of... something intense wash over her.
She realized it was endearment.
If she didn't already know how artists were, she would have thought it was creepy. But Sai was always drawing people he was around, without asking. Sasori certainly never asked permission for anything. And Sasori... was dear to her, she realized.
He was her friend. She cared deeply for him. Seeing this... filled her with those emotions.
This paper was precious to her. She smiled, knowing Sasori would have never shown it to her. This was an accident. She was glad she mistakenly picked it up.
‘He... cares about me too... I think.'
“What are you looking at?" Temari asked curiously. Sakura resisted the urge to hide the sketch against her chest.
“Sateki drew this... I accidently picked it up, I suppose..."
Temari tilted her head.
"Your friend is talented. Looks like he likes you."
"What! It isn't like that," Sakura laughed. "Trust me. He's incapable of feelings like that."
“If you say so," Temari shrugged.
“What about you? You seemed pretty eager to take another mission to the Leaf.”
Sakura grinned, knowing this would earn a reaction from her. Temari immediately blushed.
“I simply find strengthening the bond between our villages to be of great importance..."
"Sureee."
Everyone knew about Temari and Shikamaru. They were always hanging around each other. No one would be surpised if it turned out to be something more than platonic.
"What about Naruto? He definitely has a thing for you."
Sakura's smile faded. She knew... how Naruto felt about her. And she never wanted to deal with it.
“He's just a friend..." Sakura muttered, her mood visibly altered. Temari took the hint.
“Ah, And then there’s that Rock Lee-“
“Now you are stating the obvious,” Sakura laughed. Temari laughed along with her, both of the girls remembering an incident that Temari was present for.
“He’s... always making these grand confessions,” Sakura continued, wiping a tear from her eye. “Ah, he’s too honest.”
Temari grinned.
“You are popular with the boys, aren’t you?”
Sakura blushed.
“Certainly not!”
Temari shook her head.
“You doubt how easy it is for guys at this age to get a crush.”
“Do guys confess to you at home?” Sakura asked. Temari chuckled.
“Mm. I think I scare most of them. But I have gotten a few. Been on a few dates. None of them worked out.”
Sakura turned towards her, interested.
“You’ve dated? What is it like?”
“Ah, you aren’t missing out on much. Men are a waste of time. There’s a reason most ninja don’t find love.”
Sakura frowned.
“I’m sure you will find someone. If anyone, it will be you.”
“Why is that?” Temari asked.
“You’re confident. You know what you want.”
Temari thought for a moment.
“You seem like you go for what you want too. There’s no way one of those boys won’t worm their way in.”
The girls both laughed once again, and Sakura ignored the heaviness of her heart. She did not want to delve into her emotional baggage. She did not want to admit that the one guy she wanted... rejected her.
She clutched the sketch against her tightly.
----
That night, Sasori and Sakura were under the same stars. But they were far away from each other now. Sakura wondered how he was doing. At least she left him with a part of herself...
Part of Sasori thought on her too, but he was focused on something more important. Finding his Core. It was the key to everything. He had much to do... But before he could find his Core, he needed to tie loose ends.
He walked to Ebizō’s house, and knocked. When the old man answered the door, his eyes lit up in surprise.
“I did not expect to see you again,” he croaked. Guilt and relief were etched into his features, and he let the young man in.
Sasori took off his shoes silently. Ebizō looked around, searching for his companion.
“Where is that sweet girl?” he asked.
“She went home.”
Ebizō stared.
“You are staying?”
“For now.”
Sasori walked further into the home like he owned the place. Ebizō followed, curious as to the boy’s intentions. What was he here to say?
“I have unfinished business,” Sasori announced, standing in the middle of the living room.
“Oh? And I’m a part of that?” Ebizō replied, easing his way down into a chair. Sasori continued to stand, apparently comfortable with where he was.
“Yes.”
Ebizō raised his bushy eyebrows, intrigued. Their last meeting did not end well, and the old man hoped this one would be better, for both their sakes.
“I... went to the house, like you said to.”
Ebizō frowned. He only said that in the middle of his rambles, wanting to twist the knife. He didn’t actually mean for the kid to go there.
“It was just like it was 20 years ago.”
The red-headed young man had a very stern look on his face, and his tone indicated that what he came to say was thought on deeply.
“Boy, I didn’t actually intend for you to go there.”
“... I know. But... I guess I wanted to.”
He was stiff, like a piece of furniture in the room, and his brows were scrunched together like he was struggling with something.
“... I went to... see her last night too.”
Now Ebizō was impressed. The fact that he did it at all meant something.
“And did you come to any conclusions?” Ebizō asked.
“... I have been gone a long time.”
He was vague, but Ebizō could guess as to what he meant.
“She would be happy to know you went,” Ebizō offered as solace. He had messed up yesterday. His only remaining relative was back from the dead, on the cusp of his final transformation, and he turned him away. He could not turn this child away again. He was seeking answers, and it was his job to give them. His sister would want that, as Sakura Haruno said.
“... But she hated me.”
Sasori was now even stiffer than before, refusing to make eye contact with his great uncle. He was very different from yesterday. He was now humble, and seeking to mend things, not destroy them. And this attitude shift was enough for Ebizō.
“Child, your grandmother loved you more than anything. Do not say that.”
“But she told me I was sick in the head. She hated everything I did... Nothing I did was right...” Sasori said, finally revealing a hint of emotion. Ebizō continued to study him. He needed more than simple words of encouragement.
“My sister was proud of you. If she was disappointed, it was disappointment in herself. You were always such a focused boy... You did everything that was asked of you.”
Sasori absorbed what he said, and grew more and more unhappy with it. Many things came to his mind, but one thing screamed to be let out.
“How was I supposed to know how she felt? She didn’t tell me!”
Sasori was once again frustrated, and it was coming out in his voice. This child had come for guidance. And Ebizō was going to give it, since Sasori had given him another chance.
“My sister was always bad with words. After her son and daughter in law were killed, she was hardly herself. She took care of you- I told her to. I told her that you were a gift, and if she accepted it, she would find purpose again. And she did.”
“Why didn’t she tell me she loved me?” Sasori suddenly asked in a small voice. His expression had turned serious again. “... Parental figures are... supposed to do that.”
“... That doesn’t sound like you. Did Sakura tell you that?”
Sasori only bit his lip, and looked to the side. Ebizō sighed.
“She tried to. I admit that she failed. You didn’t turn out right, and she knew it was her fault.”
“Hmph. That’s one way to put it,” Sasori grumbled, brows furrowed once again.
“... She did love you. You should have seen it when you saw the house.”
Sasori bared his teeth, and turned around, shifting his weight in an attempt to release his anger without losing his control. Ebizō continued.
“When you disappeared, she knew she failed you. Soon after, she became a husk... She refused to help the Sand any more. She hid away on the outskirts of the village, and I soon joined her. I couldn’t bear to see her like that...”
“But you blamed me! You said it was my fault!” Sasori growled, whirling around. His eyes were wide, filled with an endless stream of emotion. Ebizō’s face contorted into that of pity and regret.
“I did.”
“Why do you resent me?! I wasn’t even the one who did anything!”
“I know that,” Ebizō admitted, looking down at his wrinkled hands. He wrung them together, knowing he was verbalizing things he had never said before. “I despised what you did to her. She gave you all that was left of her, and you spat in her face.”
“...”
Sasori once again remembered his last conversation with his grandmother. She was in so much pain, and he did that to her. It was his fault.
“But you didn’t have a chance to do irreparable damage. You came to this time before you could kill her,” Ebizō added.
Sasori closed his eyes, and clenched his jaw tightly. He was feeling even more unstable than he was the night before.
“I... didn’t kill her.”
“Boy, she was dead 20 years before your final meeting,” Ebizō yelled suddenly. Sasori almost flinched.
“What do you expect me to do?” he yelled back. “That wasn’t me! I never defected! And I never made those puppets! Why do you see my face and assign the blame to me?!”
“Because you were going to, and you know it,” Ebizō said quietly. Sasori once again looked away from him, ashamed and furious at the harsh truth.
“But I’m not the same...” Sasori admitted, pushing his hair out of his face. “I don’t intend to repeat any of this.”
“Then you are not the grandson who killed my sister,” the old man stated. Sasori studied his grand uncle’s face, searching for sympathy. When he saw the softness and torment in his eyes, he knew he was done yelling at him.
“... What am I supposed to do? She’s dead. I can’t... do anything.”
Ebizō had never seen Sasori so forthright. He was seeking to change.
“Sasori, my child, you have already done it. You came here, and you visited her. That is all any grandparent could possibly ask for.”
Sasori’s eyes glistened, and Ebizō watched him hold back the hurricane of feelings trapped inside his body. Sasori had never been so weak in his life. Why did this old man’s words mean so damn much?
“But I’m still angry with her... I still feel so empty...”
“That is because you are mourning her,” Ebizō replied with a familiar gentleness Sasori missed very much. His chest felt heavy, but a strange comfort embraced him, knowing this was his Uncle Ebizō, the man he looked up to his whole life, saying it.
“I don’t think I’m capable of that,” Sasori admitted.
“Sasori, you are doing it right now.”
Sasori let out a strained breath, and sniffed, trying to calm himself. Was he...?
He remembered how he felt at that Leaf ninja’s funeral. How distant he felt from himself. He was a fake. He was incapable of love, or empathy. And he was unable to grieve. Because he did not care for anyone, or anything.
But if that wasn’t true...
“I... am?”
“It looks like it,” Ebizō said, leaning forward in his chair. “Come closer, so I can see clearly.”
Sasori let out a single, relieved chuckle, the pent up pressure in his lungs releasing all at once. His uncle was joking with him again. That meant he was on good terms with him.
“... Last night, Sakura told me... I need reassurance.”
“All people do,” Ebizō said, leaning back in his chair to relax. He could tell this conversation was a step forward. “Humans cannot stand alone. We are imperfect, and therefore need someone else to hold us up.”
“... I thought I was fine alone.”
“You weren’t. You can see what happened to you.”
“...”
“That girl Sakura really cares for you,” Ebizō said, thinking of something encouraging to say. “I could see it in the way she defended you against me the other day. No respect for her elders,” he continued, shaking his head with a grin. “You should stick with her.”
“... Can I... do that?”
“Something tells me she wants you to.”
Sasori knew that, but for some reason, hearing it from another person made him feel that it was acceptable for someone like her to want him around.
“... She told me I needed to come here, and make amends with you.”
“I’m glad she did.”
Sasori finally cracked, and gave him a small, but genuine smile.
“Why, I haven’t seen a smile like that on you in over two decades,” Ebizō said. “I think you’re back, my boy.”
“Back?” Sasori asked, confused.
“You are being honest with yourself again. That’s good. You will be able to move forward now.”
The old man then stood up, and headed over to a desk. He unlocked a drawer, and fumbled through it, cursing under his breath. Sasori had no idea what he was looking for, but he was interested, to say in the least, since it was likely relevant to him.
“Ah, here it is!”
Ebizō pulled out a scroll.
“I think you will get more use out of this than I will,” he cackled, handing it over to his grand nephew. Sasori, unsure of its contents, cautiously handled it, and unraveled the thick paper. It smelled old. It looked important.
When he realized what it was, his eyes widened, and he immediately closed it. His dumbfounded expression remained plastered on his face as he turned his gaze back to his uncle. The elderly man only smiled warmly at him, hands behind his back.
“She would want you to have this.”
Sasori did not know what to say. This was... not what he was expecting.
“You...”
Ebizō nodded.
“Do what you need to. Know that this old man will always be here for when you need him.”
Sasori excitedly looked back down at the scroll, and then back at his uncle once more. He felt awkward, but his instincts told him to express his appreciation. He opened his arms.
Ebizō raised his brows, and smiled. He pulled his grand nephew into a tight hug.
“You will do great things. I know it.”
Sasori held onto him tightly, and took in his scent once more. All of his childhood memories...
He did not feel emptiness this time. He felt... better.
“... Thank you, Uncle.”