Chapter Text
Roy's senses were scorched, burning up in a fire that he could not control. It was not a thrilling, passionate blaze or a subtle warmth, but a sickly, stifling heat that pressed dense hands over his mouth and scratched at his skin with fervent barbs.
A cool hand pressed against his forehead, and relief flooded through Roy's body, soothing jangled nerves and allowing him to draw breath. Someone was speaking to him, but it seemed to be coming from a great distance. He wanted to stretch out and clutch at the words as if they were a lifeline, but his arms were dead weight and refused to budge.
Opening eyes that felt as if they were filled with sand, he blinked up at the person leaning over him. Gold hair, eyes, skin and the striking gleam of a silver arm. Ed, watching him with the strangest look on his face, as if he was actually worried about Roy's well-being. Except that could not be right. Ed didn't give a damn about him. He made that clear every time he set foot in the office, full of scathing words and biting sarcasm and the twitchy impatience that suggested he would rather be anywhere than in Roy's presence.
The dichotomy made Roy's head thud painfully, and he pressed closer to the cold blessing of the automail. It was like a drink of water after two dry days in the desert, a balm to the frazzled, crackling heat that simmered a hair's breadth beneath his skin. Blankets held him prisoner against the mattress with their oppressive weight, and, when he struggled weakly to be free of their folds, mismatched hands swept them away as if they were no heavier than feathers.
'Your fever's breaking. That's why you feel so hot. Drink this.'
Ed slipped his arm under Roy's shoulders, lifting him with ease so that he could slowly sip on the water. It was probably room temperature, but it felt miraculously chilled on his tongue, like life itself, and he swallowed greedily. Within a minute the glass was empty, and he sagged back into Ed's grip as his fractional strength drained away.
Roy closed his eyes as Ed lowered him unceremoniously back to the pillows. He had never been a good patient; the defenceless vulnerability sickened him, and he normally responded to kind words and gestures with biting comments and petulant glares. Helplessness had never sat comfortably with him, but even in his fogged state he could see that Ed was edgy, as if he were afraid that he would do Roy more harm than good by taking care of him. The thought was like mist, intangible and almost impossible to hold onto as exhaustion pulled at him with grabby hands, plunging him back into sleep before Ed had even put the glass back down on the bedside table.
He drifted in and out of dreams flecked with gold. There was no darkness, and whenever the shadows of his subconscious reached out for him they were held at bay by soft, mellow light that never left his side. The ravaging heat ebbed away, replaced with comfortable, natural warmth that filled his veins like a drug, freeing him from the bite of aches and pains.
The next time he opened his eyes, dawn was breaking, edging the features of the room in pearl. A fresh breeze whispered in through the window, making him reach for the blankets that had been shoved down to the bottom of the bed. His body was still shaky and frail, but he felt a hundred times better than he had when he had curled up on the sofa in his office. Clear, glassy thoughts drifted through his mind. They were a little disconnected, but the shroud of fever and pain no longer choked his mental faculties.
His neck was stiff, and it creaked in protest as he turned his head on the pillow to look at the young man next to him. Ed was soundly asleep, his breath steady and slow between parted lips. He was huddled up in a ball, and Roy realised that he was curled up above the blankets. Was that a conscious decision, some vague effort to draw the line, or had he just fallen asleep that way? He had learned long ago that trying to guess Ed's motives was futile. Sometimes he had the noblest reasons for his actions, and others there seemed to be no pause for thought before he plunged on ahead.
With small, jerky movements Roy spread the blankets out so that they were draped over Ed's shoulders and bare arms. He was wearing a black vest, leather trousers and, Roy noticed, his dusty boots which had already trailed grubby marks across the sheets. Of course, he had just got back from assignment, hadn't he? For once it looked like he had followed orders and had not even gone home before heading for the office.
Roy winced as he remembered the reason he had demanded Ed's presence. Assignments were never as straightforward as they seemed, and he had received a frothing phone call of complaint about his subordinate's actions. From what he had been able to make out, Ed had ended up in the midst of a mob of angry townsfolk which had, in turn, laid the blame for all their ills firmly at the man who was in control of their small region. General Lovett had been furious and ranting about the loss of his property to a fire, which he accused Ed of starting in order to smoke him out of hiding.
The thought of the paperwork involved, even if Ed had not been to blame, was enough to stir pain in Roy's temples. If it had not been for the fever he would have given Ed at least an hour's worth of a scathing lecture, regardless of his explanation, but as it was the shivers had tangled him in their grasp by the time the sun had set. He could remember lighting the fire and settling down to wait, but hours must have slipped past without him noticing. One moment he had been looking at the flames, the next Ed had been there, shaking him awake with cold hands and a deep scowl.
Now, there was no sign of that anger. Ed was a different person when he slept, smooth-faced and peaceful. The lines of annoyance that seemed to rest on his brow every waking moment were gone, as were the tense creases of irritation that often bracketed his lips. However, even asleep, he still looked older than his seventeen years. He was physically stunning and, even if he was short, there was nothing boyish left about his body.
Even when Ed had first joined the military, he had been so arrogant and determined that people had often forgotten that he was only a child. Now that arrogance had been mellowed with a very small fraction of humility. Not much, of course. After all, he had a great deal to be proud of. Ed's undeniable skill at alchemy had bloomed into a true level of genius that made Roy feel like an amateur in comparison.
If he was honest with himself, Ed inspired a wide range of emotions in him on a daily basis, all of which were hard to conceal. It had become painful to maintain his mask of aloof indifference in Ed's presence. He was so open and unguarded in everything that he did that his very actions seemed to demand reciprocity. He never hid his feelings and never seemed to be afraid to say what was on his mind. More than once Roy had almost lost his reserve, had almost snapped back a sharp retort in answer to Ed's obvious loathing.
It had been surprising, that first time, when Ed had snarled at him with so much emotion, as if the world had gone to shit and it was all Roy's fault. It must have been shortly after he retrieved Al's body from the gate and, at first, Roy thought it was just Ed's reaction to being locked into a contract for another two years: childish and predictable. Yet, as the weeks passed, it became clear that there was something more personal at the heart of all that bluster. Either Ed was using his anger as a shield to hide another emotion entirely or... .
Or he had noticed that some of Roy's glances - subtle, stolen glimpses that he had thought were well-hidden - were more than platonic. If that was the case then the anger could well be a genuine reaction: a way to tell Roy “No fucking chance” without saying a word. Except when had Ed ever not confronted a situation? He did not know the meaning of tact and did not normally care about people's reactions to what he had to say, so why put on a front?
Roy shuffled down into the blankets, muffling his sigh in their thick weave as he continued to study Ed's face, his mind caught up in a circle of confusion. It was impossible to pinpoint the moment when his perception of Ed had changed. He could not put his finger on the day when Ed had walked into his office and taken his breath away for all the right reasons. Normally, his behaviour was a slap in the face, but more and more lately it had been a punch in the heart and a burning, heavy heat in the pit of Roy's stomach.
He could never admit that, though, never come out and say that Ed was more to him than the bratty subordinate who drove him half-mad most of the time. Even if it weren't for all the social and military rules that stood in the way - rules that he would find ways to bend if it meant he could have Ed - he could never leave himself so open and vulnerable.
For the first time since he was a teenager there were no guarantees that the one he admired thought the same of him. Normally there was no question. Men and women alike were willing to join him for a good time. Some even had hopes for something more permanent, but Ed? If he had any sexual inclinations towards Roy then he was doing a damn good job of hiding them.
Roy closed his eyes, wishing things were different. At that moment it was so easy to pretend that they were lovers, that they woke up like this every morning and went to bed in each other's arms, but as soon as Ed opened his eyes the illusion would be gone. Reality was a painful truth, more so because Roy felt safe like this, as if the world could throw anything at him and he would persevere because he had Ed to keep him going
Gently he reached out, brushing his fingertips as lightly as he could over the crest of Ed's cheekbone, sweeping aside a swathe of hair so that he could get a better look at Ed's peaceful features.
'Beautiful.'
His whisper, though it was heavy with emotion, barely stirred the air. He had no idea how Ed saw himself, but he doubted he would accept any compliment graciously, no matter how truthful.
Ed drew in a breath, his face wrinkling in a frown as he stirred, and Roy froze. If he woke up now would he recoil? Would he fight himself free of the blankets and leave, or would he stay? An excuse was ready on the tip of Roy's tongue, an automatic defence against any accusation, but Ed's eyes stayed closed. Instead, he pressed himself closer to the curve of his palm, turning his head to brush a hint of a kiss on the underside of Roy's wrist. It was the tiniest flutter of sensation, innocently intimate, and Roy's breath caught in his throat as fire shot through his body and jolted between his legs.
With a tiny sigh Ed nuzzled back into the pillow, never emerging from sleep, and Roy softly took his hand away, admonishing himself for reaching out in the first place. He had no right to touch Ed; he had never sought permission and Ed had certainly never given it. Closing his eyes in something like despair he allowed his lips to twist into a grimace, too weak and ruined to hide his emotions now. For all he knew Ed already had a lover, the intended recipient for that chaste little kiss. Maybe Ed normally slept at someone else's side and had mistaken the warm presence of Roy's body for theirs.
Jealousy was a bitter taste on his tongue, and Roy huffed out a breath of self-annoyance. For God's sake, he was being pathetic, feeling envious of an imagined rival. It was demeaning, being reduced to this pining, wretched level, and he scowled at Ed's sleeping figure. It was his fault. All of it. He had burst into Roy's life like a hurricane, all frenzied activity and desperate rush. It was inevitable that, eventually, Roy would be swept up by the thrilling storm of Ed's existence.
'What're you looking so pissed off about?'
Roy jerked, blinking in surprise as he realised that Ed's eyes were open. Sleepy gold gleamed beneath lowered lashes, and he watched the younger man wrinkle his nose before smothering a yawn. Gradually the sleepiness faded from Ed's expression, taking on an edge of something else that Roy could not quite identify - hurt, anger, resignation?
'S'not my fault I had to sleep here,' Ed muttered eventually, no doubt assuming he was annoyed at finding Ed in his bed. 'You wouldn't let me leave.' His lips parted as if he wanted to say something else, but with a visible effort he shoved it aside, and his expression took on a weaker version of his normal scowl as he pushed himself up on his elbows Reaching out he pressed his left hand to Roy's forehead. 'You still look like shit. How do you feel?'
'Better than yesterday.' Roy winced at the gravely growl of his voice and swallowed against the dry prickle in his throat before carrying on. 'Thank you, by the way, for taking care of me.'
Ed raised an eyebrow, as if gratitude was the last thing he had expected. Letting his hand drop away, he shrugged, his shoulders moving in an awkward shuffle. 'No one else was there to make sure you didn't die,' he muttered. 'You should look after yourself better. What if I hadn't been there? It's Sunday today. No one's in the office. You wouldn't have been found until Monday. Fuck knows what kind of state you would have been in by then.'
Roy blinked, surprised by the reprimand. Anger he was accustomed to, but this was not Ed's usual bark and bite. He could have been sarcastic or cruel or scathing, but this was an admonishment born of genuine concern. It was not spitting rage or cool disdain, and Roy felt his heart thrill as he realised the truth. Ed had been genuinely worried about him. Ed cared about his well-being.
He turned that thought over in his mind, examining its facets with amazement. He had been almost sure that Ed would have been happier if he never had to set foot in Roy's presence again, but now it was as if he was being given a glimpse of things from a different angle. Ed may push all his emotion into volatile insults and sharp words, but that did not mean that fury was all he felt.
Cautiously, Roy looked at Ed's face, narrowing his eyes as he tried to think. Was Ed being more open with him, or had the illness just made him stop and really see? He could have left Roy to suffer, but he hadn't. That action spoke volumes, and Roy found himself mumbling an apology. 'I would have got home eventually. I didn't even mean to fall asleep. I just shut my eyes for a minute.'
Ed shot him a disbelieving look as he flipped back the blankets and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, getting to his feet in one fluid motion. His hair was all over the place, slipping free of its braid. Ed stretched, and the vest rode up to reveal his smooth, hard stomach. Even clothed Ed was one of the most breath-taking people Roy had ever set eyes on, and he could not help but stare, mouth dry and heart pounding.
With an absent huff of irritation Ed pulled the band out from his braid, running his fingers through his hair before catching it up in a high ponytail and turning back to Roy. 'At least I don't have to call Hawkeye and explain you're too sick to come to work. You'd better be feeling all right by tomorrow, though, unless you want her over here glaring at you.'
'Hawkeye would never stoop to glaring, Edward.'
'She wouldn't think twice about shooting you, though.' He put his hands on his hips and tipped his head to one side as he gave Roy a critical look. 'Do you want anything to eat?'
The thought of food made Roy's stomach twist in tight knots, and his expression must have spoken for him because Ed snorted before turning towards the door. 'Well I'm starving. I haven't eaten anything for ages.' He grabbed the glass from the bedside table. 'I'll get you some more painkillers. Get some more sleep. You'll probably feel better for it.' He did not wait for a reply before slipping out of the door, and Roy stared after him, feeling bereft.
Sleep was easier said than done, and he lay staring at the ceiling and listening to the sounds of Ed moving around downstairs. There was the clatter of plates and the noise of Ed opening cupboards in search of some sustenance. Not that he was likely to find much. Roy had meant to go grocery shopping last night. Since he had not had the chance most of the shelves were probably bare.
A few minutes later he heard footsteps on the stairs, and he turned to watch Ed walk through the door and put a full glass of water on his bedside table. He hovered there for a moment, and again, Roy got the impression that he was trying to find the right words to say something, but again he swallowed them back, his lips pressed into a flat line as if he were angry at himself.
'I need to go and stop Al freaking out,' Ed said eventually. 'He was expecting me to come home last night and I – I kinda forgot to call him and tell him where I was.' He winced, rubbing a hand through his hair as if he could already picture his brother's worry. 'Will you be all right on your own?'
Roy's heart sank, and he felt foolish for the sudden sadness that coiled heavy in his stomach. Of course Ed was going to leave. He could hardly expect him to stay forever. The fever had gone, and he was no longer so weak that he could not take care of himself on a basic level. Still, he wished he could think of a good reason to get Ed to stay, just for a little longer, just until he felt more able to face the world alone again.
'I'll be fine,' he murmured, glad that the roughness of his voice hid any nuances of emotion that may have found their way into his words. 'Thank you, again.'
'No problem, Mustang.' Ed paused, and a steady, genuine smile spread across his lips. 'Get better.'
With that he was gone, sauntering out of the bedroom and down the stairs. The slam of the front door echoed in Roy's aching head as he slumped back into the pillows with a groan of misery. It wasn't fair. Before he could have handled the way he felt about Ed, could have pushed it down inside and hidden it beneath arrogant superiority, because it was so obvious that Ed simply did not give a shit about him.
Now, in the space of one night, all that had changed. Now he knew that Ed did care, even if most of the time he acted as if he wished he didn't. He remembered hands, gentle and firm, bullying and soothing, dragging him awake and guiding him home. For the first time ever, Ed had behaved as if he thought Mustang was something fragile and precious; Ed had acted as if he realised that Roy was a human, not just a commanding officer in blue and gold.
Yet he had walked away all the same, leaving Roy to wonder if, once they were back in the office, they would return to the same old dance of anger and distance. His body felt leaden at the thought, as if it could not face the prospect of withstanding Ed's verbal assaults any longer, not now that it knew what it felt like to wake up at his side. How was Roy meant to forget this? How was he meant to couple the softer, caring Ed that had shown himself today with the prickly defensiveness that so often made itself known at work?
Sunlight splashed in through the window, warm and soft as it struck Roy's face. His head was pounding and his joints ached fiercely, and he looked at the bedside table at the two small tablets Ed had placed there before he left. It took a matter of moments to swallow them back, and he stayed perched on the edge of the bed, looking around his bedroom with bleary eyes.
God, he felt awful. Not just ill but disgusting. His mouth tasted vile, and his uniform shirt and trousers were stiff with sweat. Carefully he got to his feet, wobbling unsteadily for a moment as the room performed a sluggish waltz. After a few moments it settled down, and he managed to stagger towards the bathroom.
It did not take long to answer the call of nature or immerse himself under the shower, but by the time he had finished brushing his teeth he felt wrung out. His body had begun to shiver again, childishly warning him that he had already exhausted himself by attempting too much, and it took all his strength to stumble back to bed.
The pillows sighed he slumped gratefully onto the mattress, closing his eyes in sheer relief as he dragged the blankets back over himself. So much for being “fine”. He felt like a train-wreck, shaky and sick. His body was good for nothing, a slumped victim to the chaos of his thoughts.
He should have said something to Ed, anything. Surely even rejection would be better than this endless spiral of unresolved want? Why was it that, in every moment of his life that it mattered, his courage failed him? If Ed had said that he wasn't interested then yes, it would be awkward and difficult, but at least he would know. Maybe then he would be able to move on, rather than remaining stuck in one place, aching for the one person in the world he could not have.
Gradually Roy slipped into a doze, still caught up in questions and doubts. The ticking of the alarm clock became a distant, tinny rhythm, and he could faintly make out the noises of Central, but they were far away, nothing more than a faint urban melody to his tired mind.
Ed's gentle kiss on the inside of his wrist repeated itself, but this time gold eyes were open and knowing, burning with desire as he traced his tongue up to the crook of Roy's elbow.
He skimmed his palm along Ed's bare side, hissing in a breath as Ed arched his back, pressing himself closer. They were both naked, covered only by the softness of the blankets but burning everywhere they touched - chest, stomach, hips, legs entwined and the hot, hard press of Ed's erection against his own – and Roy could hardly draw breath through the taste of need on his tongue.
A kiss brushed along his collarbone, still as light as the flutter of a moth's wing, creeping up across the ridge until Ed pressed his nose to the pulse in Roy's throat, inhaling like an addict getting his fix. Another kiss, but this time there was the scrape of teeth, just sharp enough to make Roy buck against the body over him. Cool steel and warm skin were driving him slowly mad, and his fingers traced the line of metal and flesh obsessively, revelling in the contradiction.
Ed propped himself up on his hands, the muscles in his arm tightening as he supported his weight and grinned down at Roy, holding his body away temptingly. Ever so slowly he lowered his head, lashes fluttering closed as his lips hovered over Roy's, almost touching as his husky voice whispered, 'Hungry?'
The blare of a car horn shattered the dream apart, making Roy lift his head from the pillows with a jerk, scowling in the direction of the window. Afternoon sunlight made the world beyond glow, and the bustle of the after-work rush hour was a constant drone. With a groan of frustration, he shifted his weight, wincing at the throbbing, sensitive heat between his legs, already fading away now that he was awake. If he had been healthy he suspected he would have had to deal with himself, but the weakness over-ruled him, banking the needy fire in the pit of his stomach.
A noise downstairs made him pause, and he slowly turned to look at the door, straining to hear anything over the city sounds coming in through the window. There it was again. A clatter like a pot being put on the stove, and now he realised that the air was scented with the succulent aroma of chicken. His stomach rumbled in appreciation, his appetite returning full-force. The last thing he had eaten had been half a sandwich and a cold cup of coffee at lunch the previous day, and now his mouth was watering.
Clumsily he got out of bed, pulling on a shirt and a pair of trousers before poking his head out of the bedroom. Out in the hallway the fragrance was even more tempting, and he barely hesitated before padding bare foot along the corridor and picking his way carefully down the stairs. His legs shook a little, and he could not deny that his body was still heavy and slow, but he still managed to make his way to the kitchen without incident.
He paused, leaning against the door-frame as he took in the scene. Ed was stirring something in a saucepan, gazing out of the window at the neat little garden beyond. His hair was still caught up in the ponytail, and he had chucked his coat and jacket over the nearest chair. For a split second Roy wondered if this was some kind of dream-within-a-dream. After all, Ed had left, and Roy had not got the impression that he would be coming back again, so why was he here?
On closer inspection, Roy realised that it had to be real. He could see Ed's reflection in the windowpane, and there was no mistaking the pensive frown on the younger man's face. If this were a dream he would be smiling, and probably also naked. Instead Ed looked like he had a lot on his mind, as if he had a decision to make and was torn between two possibilities. Roy could see the tension in the brace of his shoulders and the straight line of his spine, but it wasn't a bristling, angry posture. He looked almost – afraid?
Roy took a step forward, and Ed must have seen the movement out of the corner of his eye because he snapped back to reality, glancing over his shoulder with a ghost of a smile.
'I thought you'd gone back to Al?' Roy asked quietly, sinking into a chair and propping his elbows on the table. 'Not that I mind you being here. I just – wasn't expecting it.'
'I felt kind of bad for leaving you with no food.' Ed gestured to one of the cupboards. Its door was still open and, while its shelves weren't laden with supplies, there was enough there to keep him going for a few more days. 'You can't get better if you don't eat. Besides, I walked into Gracia and she wouldn't let me go again until she'd made you some chicken soup.'
'That's nice,' Roy managed, wishing he could think of something more articulate to say. 'Thank you.'
Ed shrugged as if it did not matter and began looking around for a bowl, grabbing one from the cupboard and ladling out a portion of soup. He put it in front of Roy and handed him a spoon before helping himself to some dinner. He sat at the end of the table to Roy's right, holding the hot dish in his automail hand as he ate with his usual gusto, as if he were worried someone would take it away from him if he didn't finish it quickly.
Roy drank the soup much more tentatively, watching Ed out of the corner of his eye. He seemed muted and withdrawn. He might just be puzzling over some research, but the more he watched Ed the more unlikely it seemed. He always tackled alchemy problems with endless reading and nothing, least of all an ill superior officer, could drag him away. If this was work-related then Ed would have been in the library searching for the answer, not sat at Roy's table glaring at the salt shaker as if it had caused him personal offence.
'Are you all right?' he asked, feigning nonchalance as his heart thudded in his chest. 'You look worried.'
Ed's head jerked up and he stared, wide-eyed like a deer caught in the hunter's sights. He had paused with the spoon halfway to his mouth, and Roy watched as Ed dropped it back in the bowl before getting to his feet and moving over to the sink. At first he did not answer, and Roy thought he was going to fob him off with some kind of excuse.
The dish chimed against the surface as Ed put it down before bracing his palms against the counter. He was looking out of the window again, but Roy was not sure if he was staring at the view or the reflections in the glass. As he watched, Ed squared his shoulders and straightened his back before turning around. The expression on his pale face bordered on dread, as if he did not want to speak, but couldn't bear to stay silent, either.
'You don't remember what you said, do you?'
A trickle of icy fear ran down Roy's spine, and he scrambled frantically through his hazy memory. Ed looked hurt and uneasy, and both of those emotions were rapidly turning into anger, pinching his brow in a frown and narrowing his eyes. God, what had he said? Something inappropriate? Something suggestive? No, that couldn't be it, because Ed would have punched him there and then, ill or not. What then? What could he possibly have let slip that Ed was still thinking about now, hours later?
Reluctantly, he shook his head, feeling something hard and painful catch in his chest as Ed closed his eyes in disbelief, turning his head away. Roy could feel the distance between them opening up again, yawning like a hole in the heart, and he tried desperately to think of something to stop the drift. He almost said he was sorry, almost stammered out some desperate, rambling apology, but something stopped him. Instead, quietly and almost afraid of the answer, he asked, 'What did I say?'
For the longest time, it did not look like Ed was going reply. He was glaring at the tiled floor, his jaw clenched and his arms crossed over his chest. Roy could see the tautness of the muscles in his flesh arm and could hear the metal of his automail fist tightening against his chest. He was angry, that much was obvious, but it was defensive, not aggressive.
Cautiously, like a man approaching a trapped animal, Roy got to his feet, closing the intervening space between them one step at a time. Finally, when he was close enough to reach out and tap Ed's shoulder and feel the muscles bunch beneath his fingertips, he asked again, 'Ed, what did I say?'
Ed drew in a deep, shaking breath, as if bracing himself for something truly painful. He was acting like he wished he had never asked in the first place, but, finally, he spoke. 'You said that -.' He hesitated and looked up, gold eyes glaring over the blush of angry embarrassment that stained his cheeks. 'Last night you looked right at me and told me I was beautiful.' Just for a second, a glimmer of fear shadowed Ed's face before he swallowed tightly and, more quietly now, asked, 'Did you mean it, or did you just think I was someone else?'
Roy stared, his mind whirling. It would be so easy to retreat behind a wall of cool disdain. One quick, belittling remark and Roy was sure that Ed would never ask again, but that was not what he wanted. He knew that Ed had more courage than he would ever possess. After all, he had faced potential embarrassment and rejection to ask. He could have just let it lie and pretend it never happened, but now Ed was looking at him as if the answer was important and all Roy could think was: How could I not mean it?
'Why does it matter?' The words were slipped past Roy's lips with no interference from his brain. It was a question from the heart. Despite the fact that he had known Ed for years, knew all of his actions and reactions, there was still a lingering fear that this was not as straightforward as it seemed. Ed might just be looking for some way to gain the upper hand in their professional relationship. He might simply be hoping for some ammunition to use at some point the future. Roy had been in too many relationships to trust so easily and readily, but then could he really compare Ed to any of his other lovers?
'It matters because it – it just does!' Ed spluttered, the blush darkening before he shook his head and his expression closed down completely. He uncrossed his arms and stamped closer, deliberately invading Roy's personal space as he snarled, 'Forget it. Like I should ever believe a fuckin' thing that comes out of your mouth.'
He shoved his way past, and Roy grabbed for him, fingers tightening around Ed's arm in a desperate attempt to stop him. If he left now, if he walked out of that door, then Roy knew he would never come back. This moment would be lost forever, and he would always regret not knowing where it could lead.
'I meant it,' he said, his voice rough and desperate as Ed's eyes narrowed distrustfully. 'I don't remember saying that you were beautiful last night, but this morning, when you were asleep, I said it again and I meant it.' He let his hand fall back to his side, shoulders slumping as Ed stood, still poised to leave at any moment. 'I'm sorry if you thought it was inappropriate or that I was manipulating you. I – that was never my intention.'
Ed was looking at him as if he was unsure whether or not to believe him, searching his face for any sign of a lie. Roy stayed motionless under the scrutiny, his eyes averted, waiting for Ed to turn and walk away. He hadn't expected him to take a step closer and reach out, brushing his left hand against the back of Roy's hand to get his attention.
When he looked up, Ed licked his lips, his voice cautious as he chose each word with care. 'You're not just – just saying that, are you? That's what you really think.'
'Is that really so hard to believe?' Roy asked, lifting a hand to cup Ed's jaw lightly, braced in case he lashed out and pushed him away. 'You're incredible, Edward.'
Ed ducked his head, and when he looked up again the pain in his eyes had been replaced with something lighter and brighter, something that reached into Roy's core and spread breathless warmth beneath his ribs. 'Thought you'd never look at me like that,' he mumbled, a crooked smile on his lips as if he still couldn't believe this wasn't Roy's idea of a horrible joke.
The whirling rush of Roy's mind had ground to a halt, forced into immobility as realisation bloomed. Ed wanted to believe him. He was not snapping and snarling and backing away from him with loathing in his eyes. Instead he stood toe-to-toe, close enough that Roy could smell the scent of leather and fresh air and Ed.
'You're always so angry,' he said, unable to keep the confusion out of his voice. 'Ever since you got Al's body back you've acted as if you were furious with me. I – I thought you had noticed that I couldn't stop looking at you like that and were trying to tell me to get lost.'
Ed shot him a brief look of disbelief before he reached out, his shaking hand skimming up Roy's chest to tangle in the open collar of his shirt before leaning up to press his lips against Roy's. It started off chaste and meek, so shy in comparison to Ed's usual brashness that Roy found himself savouring its innocence. After a moment he parted his lips, unable to silence the tight moan that caught in his throat as Ed dipped his tongue in, tasting and teasing as he held Roy close.
'Do I still seem angry to you?' Ed husked when Roy paused for breath.
He did not bother to reply as the last of his fears melted away in Ed's arms. Tangling his fingers in Ed's hair, Roy scraped his teeth gently along Ed's lower lip in answer. It was almost impossible to believe that this was real, that the hot, strong body under his palms was not some kind of delusion created by his lust-addled mind, but there was nothing false about the rough, happy sounds that Ed was making.
With a shaky little gasp, Ed broke away, his face flushed and his eyes darkened from gold to bronze. 'You're meant to be ill,' he murmured, sounding as if he was struggling to put the words together. 'Shouldn't you be in bed?'
Roy grinned for what felt like the first time in years. 'Was that an invitation?'
'Pervert,' Ed muttered, leaning in for another kiss. 'I'm not giving you sex that easy. You're going to have to earn it.'
It had taken less than a week for Roy to “earn it”, and in the end he was not even sure who seduced who. It was as if the whole thing had been inevitable - as if, now they finally knew that their feelings were mutual, nothing in the world could keep them apart. All of it, every last thing, from the way they argued every day to the way they kissed made the most perfect, simple kind of sense.
The sheets whispered as Ed shifted his weight, turning his head to press a soft kiss to the inside of Roy's wrist, right over the pulse that thundered beneath pale skin. He looked at Roy from under his lashes, eyes deep, dark gold as his tongue flicked up his arm, tasting every inch of skin as Roy brushed his spare hand up Ed's side.
He arched his back in response, pressing himself closer with a tight, high sound of need as he rubbed against Roy's body like a cat. It was a miracle the sheets had not caught fire. Sparks of heat flared everywhere they touched, and each breath of air was molten between Roy's parched lips. He groaned aloud as Ed nipped at the soft flesh of his exposed throat, sucking softly at the skin and growling as Roy pressed himself up, clutching at Ed's hips and moaning as Ed held himself temptingly out of reach.
Ed grinned down at him wickedly, skin already glossed with sweat. His thighs were either side of Roy's hips and, unbearably slowly, he lowered himself onto Roy's waiting erection, hissing in pleasure as he sank down. His eyes gleamed as he leaned forward, holding Roy still with one hand so that he could not thrust. His lips were already tingling in anticipation of the kiss, but Ed paused a breath away, almost touching as he murmured, 'Hungry?'
'Only for you.'
Roy shifted one hand, tangling it in Ed's hair and pulling him down that last fractional distance. He swallowed Ed's moan of delight as he began to move his hips, trying to be careful as his blood hammered through his veins and his body sang along to Ed's tune, riding the swiftly building waves of his climax as Ed pulled back, gasping for breath and shaking from head to toe, tightening himself around Roy as he tipped his head back as if in prayer.
'God, Ed -'
'What?' Ed choked out, hands scrabbling for purchase as his body found its pace and moved in perfect rhythm with each thrust.
Roy grinned, curving his fingers around Ed's hips once more, holding him away for a split second until he whined and opened his eyes, looking down at Roy's face in confusion.
'You're beautiful.'
The End