Chapter Text
Chapter Twenty Four : shadows fall
That first night, Tsunayoshi nearly spirals his way into something drastic. In retrospect, he should have expected it.
After all, when it's time for all good otherworlders to go to bed - that's the first time Tsunayoshi is alone, with nothing to draw his attention and no immediate goal to work toward. The bedroom, as massive as it is, well: its walls begin to close in. His hollow, hungry heart aches. He hasn't been alone like this since he was thirteen, with no friend nearby and no phone to call them with. He begins to feel like a hot coal, swiftly burning through - a fine line of fire, and then nothing but carbon. And iron, of course.
There's always so much slick, wet iron smell.
At some point he must fall asleep since he wakes up with his teeth chattering and the bed sheeted in ice.
-0-
There's very little for the otherworlders to do while they're waiting for Verde's specialists to show up. Understandably, that Cavallone Dino has them take their meals up in their own rooms - as much for their own sake as to keep the peace, Tsunayoshi thinks, given Bianchi Isabella's witchcraft and general temperament. They're not given much reason to cross paths, not with her and especially not with her young companion.
For similar reasons, Tsunayoshi doesn't try to come around the younger Dino or Xanxus.
But at least they aren't held prisoner in their wing. There's always this or that servant around no matter where Tsunayoshi goes, which he accepts as natural. After all, Dino doesn't really know anything about them, even if he came to their rescue. They're in the heart of his home. Of course they're not trusted yet.
But there's nothing to really do or accomplish now that he has tested the resolve of the more concerning players on the field - and Tsunayoshi isn't entirely sure testing Reborn or Bianchi is a good idea. Distracting one is all fine and good, but there are ways to distract and redirect without provoking, and as for the other? Reborn is unsettling in various ways. Apparently Cavallone Dino established ties with him, and Tsunayoshi clearly sees where that landed him - because it's certainly not Verde who is involved with him, and apparently those specialists also have ties with Reborn.
So.
Tsunayoshi and Zunetto more or less spend the first full day they're there forming a kind of map of the Cavallone mansion and working on Zunetto's vocabulary, which by nature ends up with Tsunayoshi being taught one or two rudimentary Italian phrases.
It's a bit frustrating just how much easier Tsunayoshi finds it to pick up than the multiple years of English classes he took - up until Zunetto tries that out, and Tsunayoshi finds equal ease with that. Apparently despite the fact that he'd seemed to learn nothing in the classes, he'd absorbed some familiarity with how to make the sounds and fit the words together coherently after Zunetto provides him with the right ones.
He knuckles the hungry, devouring hollow under his breastbone: the open, yawning void of his heart - and thinks about Verde speculating that something had been done to him, purposefully.
His head has been feeling more clear. Shioya's breathing exercises don't pain him anymore. He wakes up with his bed sheeted in ice-that-isn't and thinks about those accusation that first day as he feeds awful memories to the ember inside him and it thaws his bed out.
What kind of ice doesn't even melt into water, Tsunayoshi wonders as his thoughts race fast enough that the ticking of a clock feels like it takes hours.
(The desperate, empty void inside him gnaws at the carbon cage enclosing it. Where-oh-where-oh-where are the companions he had that could numb the stabbing, clenching pain?)
After Tsunayoshi thaws out his bedding, he finds he's not inclined to roll over and try sleeping more the way he did the first night. There's no point when all those awful memories will just haunt his dreams and he'll end up shivering awake again.
Nana would always be downstairs in the kitchen with something warm to drink when he woke up, he remembers, and so he gets out of bed.
Something about this whole situation feels a little too relaxed for Tsunayoshi's nerves, he thinks as he heads down to the kitchens that Zunetto had shown him earlier. Viewing it from what he understands of Dino's perspective, he supposes there's nothing inherently suspicious about a group of teenagers who had been kidnapped and are more or less dependent on his good nature, so - then it's probably that Tsunayoshi is accustomed to being viewed with a lot more suspicion.
Still, it is a bit stressful to be allowed to wander as he pleased, even in the very early morning in the dark of night. Tsunayoshi spares enough attention to the servants moving around even this late that they know he's awake, but not enough to make it look as though he's deliberately drawing their attention.
Not making the servants nervous had been a vital lesson at the Tomaso household. While most of them were fairly harmless, the ones that weren't were of the 'attack first, question later' nature.
As many servants as Dino has that are not one Tsunayoshi would want to fight, he does his best and seems to succeed since he makes it all the way down to the kitchens without being stopped.
Of course, his good luck comes to an end there he discovers, standing in the doorway of the already lit kitchen. Although he'd never seen what the kitchens at the Tomaso house looked like, he imagines that they probably looked similar to this - more like the kitchen at TakeSushi than the kitchen inside a home, with a much larger fridge and plenty of counter space. There are actually multiple fridges in this kitchen, which given the size of the mansion and Tsunayoshi's estimates regarding the number of servants, that's perfectly reasonable.
What's not perfectly reasonable is the center table, obviously meant to aid with plating food - or in this case, serving as the throne of some kind of demon prince, cross legged in pajamas with a plate of cookies and milk sitting in front of him.
Though there's no obvious sign of Tsunayoshi's presence being noticed, he isn't foolish enough to believe that a lack of acknowledgement means a lack of awareness. The thing is-
Isn't Reborn supposed to be seven? He might not know a lot about children, but this is definitely a child some years younger than that… and yet, the resemblance is far too strong for something like 'siblings.'
It's… probably none of his business, really, he decides, and steps into the kitchen.
Unfortunately, all the tea that Dino stocks isn't tea that Tsunayoshi is familiar with, and it seems in bad taste to fool around with his spices to try creating something reasonably similar, so hot chocolate it is. Luckily, he has some idea about that kind of thing thanks to helping Kyoko squash the last holdouts in the Home Economics class, so it's not like it's difficult.
Although he'd had some idea of sitting in a dark kitchen with a hot drink in order to sooth his nerves, it's looking like he'll be quickly drinking his treat at the sink so that he can wash the mug with the other dishes. Or that's the thought he has, but - ah. There's a black gaze watching him appraisingly, even though its owner has had to twist his head disconcertingly like an owl.
"You can sit down, at least," Reborn points out.
Well, the sink is just out of his line of sight, Tsunayoshi rationalizes. "Thank you very much," he says, and picks a seat that's not so awkwardly positioned, even though this apparently gives the child a reason to eyeball him closely.
Which Reborn does at some length, even as he continues to stuff cookies into his mouth - well, no. 'Stuff' is wrong. Although he's very determinedly eating the cookies as if he hasn't had a meal in some time, it's hardly a messy affair. In a second's notice, the glass of milk and cookies could be put away without a sign of anything amiss.
If Tsunayoshi were the sort to be troubled by being blamed for things he had nothing to do with, then he'd be anxious about noticing that, but - haha, well. He's been held responsible for the sins of That Man who never comes home, so.
Apparently having looked his fill, Reborn says, "There's no need to be so troubled by things that you hide it like this. It's true that there's nothing for anyone to do about it, but you could at least confide in that annoyance that's growing like mold on the back of your heels."
"Zunetto isn't mold or a fungus," Tsunayoshi says, frowning a bit. It is annoying, but it's because Zunetto is trying to protect him, or something like that, so getting offended is a bit thankless, isn't it? "Calling him 'annoying' is fine, but - he's been treated a bit badly, so don't call him mold."
Reborn cuts him a look that's alarmingly serious, as if they've ever had such a history of solemnity between them.
"You should be careful about what kinds of mangy mutt you decided to feed out of the kindness of your heart," he says, voice devoid of the standard mockery. "There's usually a reason dogs end up abandoned on the streets - being too shy so they bite every hand that offers itself, or having caught some kind of sickness that could spread to any owner that might pick them up."
Even though showing his true face is absolutely prohibited, Tsunayoshi can't help but to sober a great deal as he meets Reborn's pitch black gaze over the lip of his steaming cup. That's a strangely serious warning from this kid who has seemed content to let everyone do whatever they pleased so long as he's allowed to make fun of it. And yet-
"Ah, you're definitely not cute at all," he sighs. Compared to the advice that he got from Fon, this isn't inspiring in the least.
The look Reborn levels at him is almost indiscernible, outside the part of it that's clearly demanding to know if he's trying to start a fight. It's surprisingly scary. A chill rattles down Tsunayoshi's spine: the certainty that even if this is a five year old, he can squash Tsunayoshi in an instant.
Rounding his shoulders and ducking his head, Tsunayoshi smiles at Reborn; nothing more than an utterly harmless, useless kid. "Even if we're from different worlds, I know what it's like to be treated like a mangy mutt, so-"
"If it were you in that situation, even pipsqueak Dino would have killed you before you'd woken up," Reborn says so sharply that despite his childish appearance, Tsunayoshi becomes very still and that hollow heart of his cracks with a spit of sparks and snapping ice. "As perverse as he is, Verde would have also crushed your skull rather than subdue you with such halfhearted measures. You're a kind person, Nayo - in spite of the cruel things you suffered or did, maybe - but don't be full of yourself and get involved with something better left alone."
Isn't that too astute if he's supposed to be five? Of course, Dino who is a fully grown adult called this kid his 'tutor' and it was this child that everyone listened to when he told them to back off and called what Tsunayoshi did 'witchcraft,' so he shouldn't be surprised, should he?
"Ahh, I wonder," Tsunayoshi says, dropping his gaze to his steaming cup: "what kind of cruel things you think went on, since we aren't even from the same world."
From the edge of his vision, he sees the way that Reborn smiles. Despite his doll-like appearance, or maybe because of it: it's incredibly unpleasant.
"The particulars aren't important. I've already seen some of your work, and unlike those two, I'm familiar with the technique. No one at your age has a resolve as severe as yours unless they've been tested and forced into it. I'm a tutor, after all - I wouldn't be the best if my ability to measure my students didn't surpass their own self-awareness."
"Don't be proud of that," Tsunayoshi says, wetting his dry mouth with the hot chocolate. "I've been reliably informed that my self-awareness is especially pathetic."
"That's something that has already been taken into consideration," Reborn says dismissively. "It's your awareness of others that I find more interesting, really. You must have someone you want to protect quite badly to have sharpened your ability to read others to that extent."
And Tsunayoshi easily says, "honestly, it's probably because my mother's self-awareness is even worse than mine."
"I see," he says, and then that demon child just as casually continues: "and so from a young age, you were forced to step up and look after her because no one else was there to do it to your satisfaction, is that right? And since you made yourself into a sword and shield for the sake of an adult, you easily extended that consideration toward your peers. After all, they are even less capable of looking after themselves than someone fully grown who should be taking care of you. Am I wrong?"
The spitting sparks inside him threaten a raging firestorm - his palms itch, his lungs tighten; his entire body threatens to erupt, ablaze.
In retrospect, Shioya has been trying for years for this kind of response, and it's because of that realization that Tsunayoshi wrangles it back down behind walls of shuddering, hissing ice.
His fingers don't so much as tremble around the mug in his hand.
"Right or wrong, I have to wonder how you came to those conclusions," he says, glancing up toward the ceiling and very thankful that his voice sounds normal.
Reborn doesn't answer until his gaze drops again, sitting cross legged on the table and clutching the tall, nearly empty glass of milk with one hand, a cookie in the other. His black eyes are sharp and even at such a close range, there's no color to soften the look of them: just like the button eyes of a doll.
Or a shark, for that matter.
"Oh," he says, and then smiles as if he's read every thought kept secret in Tsunayoshi's heart. "Didn't anyone tell you? I have ESP."
… what. Really?
There's no helping the frown he makes. "Wait a moment," he says, "wasn't it 'witchcraft' just the other day? You can't say witchcraft and then add ESP! Those are two different genres! Although I guess it's easy for the powers of one to seem like the powers of the other…"
A power like 'clairvoyance' might easily seem like mindreading, after all.
On second thought, he can easily see how Reborn might reach those conclusions without anything as weird as mind reading being the answer; he's fallen back on a lot of his bad habits, after all. With what Tsunayoshi has said and how he's behaved, without regard to the adults around him since they hadn't seemed to be his enemies and this kind of behavior was always more or less expected out of him anyway - everything that Reborn said was pretty obvious, right?
Reborn hums, unimpressed. "Life doesn't get filed into strict 'genre' sections, stupid. Or is yours supposed to be a slapstick comedy?"
He's rude!
"This kind of crankiness is exactly why you're not cute," Tsunayoshi points out crossly.
"Is the opinion of someone who can't even button their shirt straight supposed to have weight?"
"I wonder what Bianchi Isabella would think if I told her about your midnight snack."
Reborn's face goes creepily blank. There's not an ounce of tension anywhere in his frame. "Nayo-chan," he says, never resembling a cute doll possessed by the worst kind of demon more, "you should really be more aware of things like 'home ground advantage.'"
"Ah." Without realizing the situation, Tsunayoshi really has escalated to the nuclear option, hasn't he? It's already obvious by the size of the plate and glass that Bianchi hasn't kept a lid on her witchcraft, probably, and - more than that, he doesn't want to make an enemy here. "I see… please forget my rash words," he says.
Some life seeps back into Reborn's expression, but it's hardly a hopeful sign since it doesn't appear very forgiving. "That aside," he says, apparently willing to drop that subject for now. "If it's just because you're lonely or missing someone, then there's nothing so pressing that I can't keep you company - if that's why you're allowing that Zunetto to be close to you. Calling it a 'disease' is apt enough - he won't mean to make you sick, but if you're weak to it, then it could kill you anyway."
Oh - so, Reborn's offer to 'comfort' him the other day was actually honestly given, is that it? Tsunayoshi supposes that his actions in Narcisse's room did betray him a bit, but he'd dismissed the offer as just another method to tease him and make him uncomfortable, since Reborn seems like the type that enjoys putting people outside their comfort zones. To better understand them, maybe. Or just to have fun.
"And if I become 'sick,'" Tsunayoshi says, "then even Cavallone Dino, who likes animal and small children, will be forced to turn on me, and that Professor Verde will crush my head like a melon, I guess. I suppose that Xanxus is also worried about something like that, so that's why he can't relax when Zunetto is in the room?"
"Dino is the kind of person who is easily led and influenced, especially at that age, so it can't be helped," Reborn says. "Though even Xanxus would be in danger from something like that, despite his willfulness. It's the darkness in his heart. It would be easy for him to go down that dark road."
Well. He'd told Zunetto that he'd sensed that he and Xanxus had certain things in common, hadn't he? Tsunayoshi, too, has darkness in his heart - so why is it that Xanxus is in danger, and not him?
"It's not that I hate your company or anything like that," he allows, "but - ahh, how should I say it? I'd like to keep you around, however: speaking honestly, I have nothing to give you back, and you haven't asked to remain at my side, so… I'd rather not have such a one-sided relationship."
For a long moment, there's no real reaction from Reborn, and then he slowly raises another cookie to his mouth and chomps on it so carelessly that crumbs get on his face. He then turns his attention to draining the entire glass of milk in one go, going so far as to hold the glass in both hands to tip it all the way up. He sets it down, scrubs off the milk mustache, and finally says, "it wasn't that kind of offer in the first place."
Then why does he seem so completely annoyed about it right now?! Tsunayoshi wonders in something like a panic.
Actually, despite the fact that he isn't even frowning, it feels a bit like Tsunayoshi should be worried about whether or not he'll get to see the sun rise in a few hours! Why is he throwing a temper tantrum over something he wasn't even offering in the first place!
Didn't he explain himself correctly?!
Wait, no, if this child is anything like Fon, who claimed to be a grandfather despite having a child's body and heart, and flustered when Tsunayoshi was honest about treasuring the gift he was given, then-
"Well, you've been informed, and after that it up to you. Maybe you're still thinking like a kid since you haven't reached your majority yet back home, but in our world even Xanxus is expected to make decisions for himself and deal with them." Reborn gets up, brushing away crumbs that only existed with that last cookie, and stalks away over the table top leaving his dirty dishes behind.
It's a short distance from the table to the floor - for someone like Tsunayoshi. At five, it's almost as high as Reborn is tall - but he's nimble and doesn't falter, landing on his feet without even a grunt from the force.
That leaves Tsunayoshi all alone in the kitchen the way he'd wanted, except he's wide awake now and hasn't resolved his concerns and now - ahh.
He wonders if he should have acted a little suspicious over the fact that Reborn had been younger. It's just - witchcraft, and other worlds, and that ice on his bedding, so: it's a bit hard to be shocked about something like that at three in the morning while he's sleep deprived, is the thing.
Besides, he'd known it was Reborn, even if Reborn was acting different than usual due to the pressures in his own life at the moment.
Anyway, supposing that Reborn has the mind of an adult and the heart of a child… then even if Tsunayoshi's logic can reach the adult brain, then the unprovoked rejection probably got to him all the same.
This is why Tsunayoshi is no good with children! Even if Reborn obviously agreed since he wasn't asking to join Tsunayoshi's household in the first place, the fact that Tsunayoshi denied him without hesitation…
Well, it's not like Haru hasn't told him he's an idiot plenty of times.
"It's not like I can carelessly increase the size of my household, though," he sighs dismally, getting up from his chair and taking all the dirty dishes to the sink. "So it's pointless to worry about in the first place. It's not just myself I have to worry about, but whether or not they can get along with the others - ah."
He'd forgotten again, somehow. This isn't even his world, so taking responsibility for people is no good regardless.
Hey. He can make it back home, right? It's no good if he can't even make it back home. He's been trying hard not to think about it too much, and trying to make alliances with people who will also want that outcome, but… ahh, ahh, if even Verde's specialists can't do it, then what should he do?
Tsunayoshi will die if he's left alone.
After a moment, he takes a few steadying breaths, thaws the strange ice on the mug, and goes back to bed.
-0-
Honestly, honestly, honestly. Tsunayoshi really thought he was done with this, but ahh, no. Wasn't that more of a matter of the others simply noticing and refusing to leave him alone?
Takeshi got mad when they were kids and killed a man for Tsunayoshi's sake, all because Tsunayoshi lost his temper because someone threatened to take Kyoya away from him. And so had clan Hibari. A 'rotten branch that they'll be grateful to have removed,' isn't that what those people said? And hadn't he come to see that it was true?
Kyoya had started to keep an eye on him early on, hadn't he? And after that, Nakamoto Kei was never far from him, and Kyoya began to leave those kids he couldn't use himself on Tsunayoshi's doorstep. Everyone had worked hard to see that he was reassured and could rest easy.
And now he's been stolen from their side and it's to find out that he has no methods of coping with this. With all of this information clearly laid out, it's only natural that Tsunayoshi can't turn Zunetto aside, even if it's annoying.
"... Um," Tsunayoshi says eventually as he slowly left his thoughts, "would it be okay if I put my shirt back on?"
It took a few moments longer before his request seemed to penetrate Verde's intense focus. He still doesn't get much of it as Verde glances up with a vague look on his face - actually it was a bit like he hadn't realized that Tsunayoshi was still around. "Yes, that's fine," he says and immediately returns his attention to the computer screen.
Tsunayoshi waits a second, then sighs heavily and starts pulling off the weird sticky pads attached to wires that Verde had stuck to his body in various places - the awkward one in the center of his forehead, between the eyes so that the wire bumped his nose repeatedly, and then the several scattered over his breastbone and his heart. It's obviously related to those 'gate' things that Verde talked about when Tsunayoshi first woke up, though Tsunayoshi isn't sure what kind of readings he thinks the machine will give him.
Apparently Verde had woken up from his prolonged rest a bit after Tsunayoshi had gone back to bed. He's also not the type to really respect others' schedules or social conventions since it wasn't long after that when he came to fetch Tsunayoshi from his bedroom. Thankfully, Tsunayoshi hadn't started dreaming again, so there was nothing unusual about the situation, but-
Even though it had been early in the morning that Verde stole him away to run tests down in Dino's infirmary, it had taken long enough for the house to wake up, and Zunetto to come looking for him. Tsunayoshi gets why discovering his empty room would be alarming, but he has mixed feelings about how that discovery probably occurred.
At least he seemed to have quickly grasped the situation and figured out where they'd gone, because it would have been embarrassing for him to have turned the whole mansion on its head in an uproar.
Now Zunetto is sitting on the floor by the doorway and sulking about it, though, after having gotten scolded by Verde for interrupting, disrupting the tests - apparently the readings he'd been taking had been disrupted when Zunetto came in - and causing the whole thing to take even longer. Honestly, if this is the kind of face that Tsunayoshi showed everyone back then, it's not hard to understand why he'd been picked on so much. It definitely provokes some kind of reaction, although he's hesitant to try labeling something he doesn't entirely understand.
Like now, when Zunetto is making a kind of strained, uncomfortable expression. Tsunayoshi has to wonder if maybe his careless attitude toward his clothing really bothers everyone here. It's true that they're all presenting themselves flawlessly, but after seeing that Xanxus hadn't bothered with buttoning everything entirely - at the neck or wrists either one - he'd thought his own general discomfort with fitted clothes wouldn't be disruptive.
Well, even so, he won't bother with it anyway. They've already seen him unconscious and dressed in scrubs, so retaining his dignity has no meaning.
"Well, this certainly is interesting," Verde says, drawing Tsunayoshi's attention. He doesn't look up from the computer. "There's no way you should be regulating this well. Some stabilization is to be expected after exhausting yourself that way, but - hm."
That seems to be enough to draw Zunetto out of his sulk, since he sits forward. "Is Nayo okay?" he asks worriedly.
"More or less, I should think," Verde says. Where's the patient-doctor confidentiality?! "I had some concerns after that initial examination, but it seems as though his 'life force' is still adjusting. Well - the results are still scary, but they're less scary compared to the first set." He looks to Tsunayoshi. "I won't say you're 'getting better' since you weren't exactly sick in the first place, but more like you're compensating for a 'disability'."
"Haa, 'disability' you say," Tsunayoshi huffs, "in what way? I think I'm a pretty normal person, all things considered."
"It's because of that - there's no way for a normal person to notice it."
"But in what way," Zunetto insists, coming up off the floor to anxiously join them. The look on his face is - not unfamiliar, although that's because Tsunayoshi last saw it thanks to that temper tantrum over him thinking Reborn was some Lazzero's kid.
"In the obvious one," Verde says in a blunt fashion, even though he's actually speaking around the subject again. "Clearly there are still some inexplicable things that he can do, but the obvious ones are unlikely to ever be possible."
Zunetto frowns deeply, glancing at Tsunayoshi with a troubled expression. It's a bit embarrassing for someone to look at him with such clear eyes - Zunetto has made himself so sick at heart that he seems to resent more or less everything, so how he can have such pure resolve when it comes to Tsunayoshi?
Even Takeshi is greedy about it, and he comes closest to this.
"Isn't there anything we can do to help?" Zunetto asks, looking to Verde with determination. "A treatment, or physical therapy or something - though, ah, not 'physical' but-"
Verde looks back for a moment, his narrow eyes squinted and drawn into something that doesn't comprehend the drive behind those kinds of questions. Verde's bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired, Tsunayoshi thinks. "No," he says.
That's not an answer, Tsunayoshi thinks, staring at him: that's a guy forbidding something instead.
"But-!" Zunetto protests with his heart in his throat.
"No," he repeats again. "I'm surprised you'd ask, since it's the only thing saving him from you."
Zunetto recoils, flinching back from them with such a wounded expression on his face that it could flay anyone's flesh from bone. It's only there for a split second, only barely long enough to be recognized before it hardens into resentment - not aimed at the two of them, or at least Verde where it belongs, but: at himself.
And well, from what Tsunayoshi can tell, he's actually done this thing to himself that makes Reborn and Verde try warning Tsunayoshi off from him, but-
The starving, sooty heart inside of Tsunayoshi's chest stirs, and the embers in the ashes glimmer and threaten to smoke.
Ahh. It's bad.
It's two steps away from the cot that he'd been sitting on while measurements of his twisted heart were taken, and Tsunayoshi latches onto Zunetto's elbow. Zunetto gives a startled 'ah!' even as Tsunayoshi turns, plastering on his best 'getting along' smile.
"We're done here, right, Professor Verde?" he asks, casually leaning his weight into Zunetto's side, his own elbow butting lightly into those sensitive, flinching ribs. He's no Takeshi or Haru or Nana, but he can do at least this much. How would he rest easy otherwise?
"We're not," Verde says, turning that same narrow, squinted stare on him.
Under Tsunayoshi's fingers, Zunetto has stiffened into something a bit like a statue, making small stuttered noises even as Tsunayoshi cranks up the charm he'd learned at his mother's elbow from every time she had to step in and interfere thanks to adults becoming too insistent.
"But, isn't the data you got already enough? You said I could get dressed, so - already having missed breakfast, if I don't at least eat lunch, then my blood sugar will probably drop and I'll pass out," he says, already pulling Zunetto toward the door.
The professor scoffs, but makes no move to stop or hinder them, although the weight of his gaze is an unpleasant pressure on Tsunayoshi's back. He'll probably end up paying for this, but - that's just how it has to be then.
No sooner are they at the top of the staircase that leads to the rest of the house than Zunetto shakes him off his arm. Tsunayoshi is too well trained to stumble at the unexpected move, automatically shifting to defend himself, but - Zunetto is too tense and stiff to be trying to pick an actual fight.
"Listen," Zunetto says, low and guilty with his eyes aimed at the floor and his shoulders hunched. Braced. "Maybe - d-don't ask why, but maybe we should stay away from each other from now on."
Tsunayoshi sighs heavily. "It'll just stress me out if you try using me as a whip to flog yourself with."
"What," Zunetto blurts, startled into looking at him. His defenses really are the worse: still inviting that blow that will shatter him into too many pieces to fit back together.
Tsunayoshi should probably have some idea of how to get through to this guy, except - everyone that he's helped so far has wanted to be helped, and asked him for his aid. All he had to do was support them until they could get themselves to where it was they wanted to be.
That approach won't work here, however. Tsunayoshi shoves his hand back through his hair with another sigh before he puts his hands on his hips and meets Zunetto's startled gaze directly.
"I won't ask," Tsunayoshi allows, "but listen to me without running away for a moment, okay?"
"I'm not running," Zunetto says a bit indignantly, tightening his hands into fists. On a lot of people, that's anger, but Tsunayoshi recognizes it for the anxious, cowardly gesture that it is.
"What do you call this," he asks doubtfully, gesturing between them. "You've been fine going along with me all this time, and now just because the Professor said something unnecessary, you're splitting away from me?"
"How was that unnecessary?" Zunetto demands; the scowl on his face is just a thin gilding over the distress he feels. "He has a point, you know - I shouldn't hang around someone like- in your condition, I mean."
"Why?" he asks, carefully making his tone completely neutral. "If you're worried about hurting me - just don't?"
"If it was something I could control then I wouldn't, but I can't!" Zunetto shouts. The carpet prevents it from echoing in real life, but it echoes inside Tsunayoshi, even as Zunetto clasps his hands over his mouth, paling. His brown eyes are wild and frightened, chest heaving with panicked, furious breaths.
"Ah," Tsunayoshi says, and it comes out annoyingly mild. Understated.
This isn't the time for such a weak reaction, he knows that, but - he doesn't know what to do, and knowing what not to doesn't help. If he could figure out how to express the genuine sympathy he has for a feeling like that, he'd be able to connect with Zunetto in a way he's failed connecting with anyone else, ever.
But knowing how to say that - it's not something he had ever been able to learn in the first place, and then? There were endless eyes that watched him, more and more as he grew older, and Tsunayoshi had been forced to hide his true face from them to avoid calling down danger on his household that he had no way of dealing with yet.
(Becoming cornered or caught is absolutely prohibited. He can't protect anyone if he's kept apart from them, just precisely the way he is at the moment-)
The stalemate ends before it can really begin thanks to the fact that Dino's men are so well trained. The shout brings first one and then another immediately to investigate, a little suspicious even though it's obvious it's just the two of them having an argument. The first one stubbornly remains, eyeballing them until Zunetto finally drops his hands and proves that he's not hiding an injury before he's willing to be waved away.
"Come on," Tsunayoshi says, unwilling to continue the conversation in the hallway. "I said it was time to eat, right?"
Zunetto still won't let him touch him, not that Tsunayoshi tries very hard - there's no point in forcing himself where he isn't wanted - and they make an excursion to the kitchens where Zunetto begs a meal off one of the cooks. He still looks pale and troubled, but not too much to be polite to the man in charge of the smaller dishes, though his smile is a bit wane and he's reluctant, dragging his feet as he follows Tsunayoshi back up to his room.
"Let's eat a bit first," Tsunayoshi suggests.
"Okay," Zunetto agrees, though he doesn't look hungry at all. He probably also wants to put this conversation off as much as Tsunayoshi, but - it's important.
They sit at the table in his room and pick at the food for a while. It's more like a picnic, really, except with sandwiches instead of bento - and inside, rather than on the grass. It's also sadly lacking in sweets or something fun to drink, like cold tea or coffee.
It's not really a picnic at all, honestly.
"I don't really get the sense that you're a threat to me," Tsunayoshi says at last, abandoning all attempts to eat. "But I understand why you might not be satisfied with just me saying that."
Of course he wouldn't be. Despite everything, despite going along with him and listening to him: Zunetto doesn't trust him at all. It's not really something Tsunayoshi can hold against someone he himself doesn't trust.
"I really don't want to hurt anyone," Zunetto says dismally as he picks at a bread crust, his head bowed and eyes hidden behind sullen lids and long lashes. "It's - just me. Just by existing I do that. The fact that I don't even seem like a threat? That's the worst."
"Ah, you're misunderstanding, I said you weren't a threat to me, not that you aren't a threat at all," he corrects, sitting back in the chair and folding his hands into his lap where he can twist his restless fingers together in peace. "You're a dangerous person regardless of everything else - such as the resolve that you kept squashing down until it had no choice but to become twisted."
Jerking upright with a sputter, Zunetto waves his hands around as he obviously tries to decide which part he's more offended by - the 'dangerous' or the 'twisted.'
"What kind of weird impression do you have of me?" he demands at last, aghast, staring for a long moment with wild eyes before he despairs: collapsing onto the table, thumping his head face-first into it and knotting his hands into his hair.
The noises he makes are kind of pathetic for how frustrated and unhappy they are, until at last he says, muffled: "and how can you say someone you see as dangerous and twisted isn't a threat?!"
There's no way to avoid laughing at a question like that, considering. "Sorry," Tsunayoshi says, stifling his amusement, "but - ah, my senpai of the last three years is known as the Demon of the town, so maybe my sense of danger is a bit skewed?"
"A demon," he moans in despair. "You can't calmly say weird things like that, Nayo! What sort of people have you been hanging out with all this time?!"
The dangerous kind of twisted person that could survive being near scum like him, really. That's probably the main reason Tsunayoshi hasn't minded being near Zunetto even once no matter what.
"I'm still a highschool student, so my classmates mostly," he says - the ambiguous sort of answer he habitually falls back on even though it's not as if anyone can hold his house hostage at this point, stranded as he is. "Although some of my senpai have moved away and gotten jobs abroad and things like that."
Zunetto echoes that to himself before he lifts his head to gaze at Tsunayoshi, something a bit wistful and something a bit resentful in his eyes. "Being a highschool student must be nice," he mutters. The longing wins out over his discontent there, at least, and Tsunayoshi smiles.
Maybe it is. Tsunayoshi wouldn't know. He's a fragile, useless kid who can only successfully fulfill one goal, and that's not homework, so.
It's a bit funny that he's coming to realize that to Zunetto - who hates everything that he's been forced to become to this extent - he's somehow become the symbol of a 'normal life' - the person that he might have been able to become if he hadn't been moved to Italy.
That's a complete self-deception, and it'll continue to cause problems in the future but… well, it's also a bit cute? It's a bit like those guys that insisted on calling him 'taichou' and 'aniki' even though he's just Tsunayoshi and only good for that one thing. He'd grown to accept those titles, so perhaps he can come to accept this, too?
It's not like trying to convince him otherwise will work, since he knows how stubborn he himself can be about certain things.
"Yes, but - being a highschool student in a foreign country," Tsunayoshi says, "I need someone to back me up, you know? So instead of splitting from me because the Professor became annoyed that you wanted to help… couldn't you consider my circumstances a bit?"
All the work he'd down to make Zunetto feel comfortable immediately flies out of the window, but - well, he does know what a difficult thing he's asking.
"I am!" he protests. "I'm considering the circumstances you don't seem to be aware of! It's not just the matter of being in a foreign country! It's lucky enough that we landed in with the Cavallone Famiglia, but there's a lot more going on that I can't tell you about!"
As if the biggest threat to Tsunayoshi's safety could ever be the person who broke him out of containment in the first place without knowing anything about him and has always quickly capitulated to his requests and moods.
Well, that's how Tsunayoshi sees things, but given the decisions that Zunetto is making, it's obvious he sees them differently.
"Okay, okay, I get it already," Tsunayoshi says wryly, holding up his hands in surrender. "I said something troublesome about you calling me 'senpai' and 'taking responsibility,' but I take it back - if you're this determined to part ways, then I won't bother you further than this."
"It's not like that!" Zunetto protests, sitting back and blinking rapidly. Fidgeting, he quickly adds, "you weren't bothering me at all! W-wasn't it the other way around, actually? I kept getting in the way and being annoying, and on top of that-" He abruptly bites his tongue, wilting and looking grim.
Tsunayoshi watches him for a moment, but it's obvious he won't finish by himself. "And on top of that, you're a danger to me," he says, "or at least, that's how to you feel about it, anyway."
The grim look on Zunetto's face really does turn truly pathetic in a miserable way - Tsunayoshi had thought this and that about maybe teasing him a bit, but this? It's definitely not a expression that he can tolerate without trying to fix things. Though maybe he should be a bit worried that such an expression exists in the first place.
"There's no need to make that face, though," he says wryly. "I won't be able to rest easy about it. Don't misunderstand, okay? Back home, there was always, always someone constantly underfoot and butting in and wanting my attention, so having Zunetto-kun at my side for this short time was why I was able to be so calm about everything in the first place. But I won't ask you to put yourself out for my sake since I have nothing to offer you in return."
"That's really not what it's like," Zunetto says, having wilted so far that he's practically face-down on the table again like a little kid. Wow, it seems the frustration of the situation has put a glitter to his lashes - just who should be more frustrated here?!
Barely strangling back a frustrated growl, he sighs instead, shoving his hair back out of his face. He gives up on trying to be gracious about this!
"In the first place, no one would be happy about being abandoned," Tsunayoshi says grumpily. "The reasons you've given for it don't really carry any weight with me - I don't find satisfaction in them at all. If anything, they're annoying."
"My reasons are fine!" Zunetto squawks, coming all the way to his feet. He doesn't quite slam his hands on the table, but only just, leaning toward Tsunayoshi with an indignant expression. "Didn't you hear me when I said it's because it's bad for you? No, nevermind that! What are you talking about, 'abandoned?!'"
He's really asking for Tsunayoshi to put his shoe in his mouth, honestly.
Slumping back in the chair, Tsunayoshi allows: "well, maybe my wording was a little harsh." He hangs his head back to look at the ceiling so he doesn't do anything rash, like grab Zunetto's face and try rearranging it forcefully. "Though, I'm grateful for everything you've done for my sake, without even thinking about it - rescuing me, and then supporting me afterwards, especially."
He still thinks this split is misguided, but whether or not they do isn't entirely up to him.
With a heavy sigh, he adds: "I promised myself not to become a tyrant, so I won't become the kind of scum that will try keeping you against your wishes. If you won't change your mind, I won't argue against it any further, nor will I bear a grudge or anything like that, so-"
It's just that he'll die if he's left alone. That's all there is to it - but ahh, he's also a bit stymied thanks to this otherworld business. What's the point of establishing ties so far away from home in the first place? How should Tsunayoshi survive long enough to get back to his household-
No. Regardless, he'll survive to get back to his household - if it's for their sakes, then he's capable of any measures, so that's not a problem.
Strengthening his resolve, Tsunayoshi sits straight again and observes the miserable, mulish way Zunetto is slumped into himself, still on his feet but not looking strong at all. There's not really any part of him that's frail, but he looks that way - thin shoulders hunched defensively, the angles of his elbows sticking out, the defensive curl of his back.
If Narcisse's pressure reminds him of a needy housecat made feral, then Reborn was definitely correct: Zunetto is no mangy mutt, but he certainly is a house dog who got left behind when the family moved away, and is now desperately trying to survive in any way it can without anyone there to love it and treat it gently.
He shudders on instinct. That's… probably accurate. So far Zunetto has only been whimpering and simpering, but a dog's fangs are much worse than a cat's and they're quick to snap when cornered.
Though Tsunayoshi is the same that way.
"If you ever change your mind yourself, at least consider coming back, though," he says. "I'll respect your choice, but - I can't agree with it."
"It's not a matter of changing my mind," Zunetto argues, though at least he no longer looks like he's ready to bite a hand that tries to comfort him. "It's just me. It's - you don't understand. It's my witchcraft - it's - or it's how I use it, I don't know. It's not supposed to hurt people, but it does. That's all it's really good for. It's supposed to be something that helps people but for me it's just-"
He trails off, frustrated and helpless. Either he doesn't know how to talk about it without telling Tsunayoshi everything, or he doesn't know how to talk about it point blank because he's never been given a reason to try.
"I understand," Tsunayoshi says, though he doesn't. He can't, since Zunetto refuses to explain any of it to him, but - well, he understands that to Zunetto it's not that easy, and he can't change him against his will. "It's fine."
Zunetto sags, sighing with relief as the last of the tension drains out of his body. "Um," he says, palming the back of his neck, head ducked and eyes averted. "Thanks."
Tsunayoshi hums noncommittally. He really has to wonder at what kind of tyrants these Italians are accustomed to that they keep being relieved that Tsunayoshi doesn't stoop to some shitty expectations they have of him.
People with his type of life energy or witchcraft or whatever - they must be the actual worst if scum like Tsunayoshi seems like a blessing.
Thankfully, Zunetto takes his leave then. It's awkward and far from graceful, and there will be moments later for Tsunayoshi to carelessly steam roll over for the sake of achieving his ends, but - he's a bit grateful for it, rubbing his thumb against the aching crescent marks his nails have left on his fingers, and working the muscles of his neck and back loose.
If nothing else, he'll now have plenty of free time to work on his conditioning and the matter of Bianchi Isabella.