Chapter 1: Passing by
Chapter Text
Eren was walking down the streets of London. He was on his way back to his hotel. He had a two week holiday and since he had saved up some money he had decided to travel to London. It had been his dream from a long time to visit the city so it had been a natural choice for him.
He hummed some tune he had heard in the shop he had just come out of when something caught his eye in the corner of his eye. There was a rather short man standing in front of a flower shop, looking bored. Eren stopped in his tracks. He would know that face anywhere. "Levi Heichou," he whispered to himself and continued to stare at the man across the street.
Memories of life long gone went through his mind. The whispers in the dead of the night promising of yet another night of love to come. The feeling of those pale hands on his skin. How the man looked at the moment he came undone. How his voice would be hoarse in the morning. How soft his hair actually was. How tender he could be. How much passion and power was stored into such a small figure. Eren had always felt safe with him. He knew Levi had his back no matter what. He was the unmovable rock that Eren knew would always be there.
Eren was about to take a step forward and yell out his name when a woman exited the flower shop.
"Levi, we are done. We can go home now." The woman was beautiful and Eren hoped she was just a friend until he noticed the ring on Levi's hand. His heart sinking he watched as a small boy followed the woman.
"Daddy, can I get candy?"
Levi turned to the small blackhaired boy with a smile on his thin lips. "Of course you can, Eren."
Eren could almost hear his own heart break. He named his son after me. A shiver ran though his body as he watched the scene before him. Levi being happy, having a family and not even noticing Eren standing on the other side of the road. A tear slipped down his cheek but he did nothing to wipe it away. He wanted to be part of that. He wanted what he was seeing but knew it would never happen.
Eren turned to walk away when Levi and his family started to leave as well. Eren missed the glance Levi gave him, his eyes widening as he stopped to stare Eren who walked away.
"Someone you know?" his wife asked as she noticed her husband stopping.
Eren was too far away by then. He could not shout after him. "No, he just reminded me of someone," he said swallowing the emotion swelling in his throat. He turned to look at his son who was smiling brightly at him. "His name was Eren too."
Chapter 2: Coincidence
Notes:
Ok, so I decided to give this story a chance because .. I need this. Writing is therapeutic thing for me. Don't get depressed people! I will write an happy ending for this, I promise. Ok?
Chapter Text
Eren could not shake the feeling that set in his stomach after he had seen Levi out on the streets of London. His holiday had taken a turn he never would have imagined. He felt heavy and wanted to get out of the city as fast as possible but he didn't have the money to get another flight ticket. Besides he had paid for whole two weeks worth for the hotel room. He weighted his options as he sat on his bed. Best option was to completely forget the man and just do what he originally came here to do and that was to have fun.
Unknown to him the man he was thinking about was doing the same thing few streets down from the hotel. Levi would have never thought he would run into Eren. He had never dared to hope that. He wanted to find the boy but every time the thought crossed his mind he looked at his son who was playing on the floor with toy cars. He realized how selfish he was wanting to have what he had with the boy in his previous life. How could he be able to do that to his family?
He had to admit he did not love his wife like he probably should. He cared for a lot but she was not the love of his life. She had been a safe choice and she had accepted his little quirks faster than anyone else. She had been the one to propose and Levi had not seen any reason not to say yes. Not until now, six years later.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Next morning Eren flipped through the channels available to him in his hotel room. Nothing worth watching other than checking the weather broadcast. He was not surprised to see the threat of rain. He sighed, deciding to go and eat somewhere and maybe just walk around. He had planned to go sight-seeing tomorrow. He dressed warmly enough just in case it rained and headed out to the nearest restaurant.
He glanced at the flower shop where he had seen Levi at as he passed. Numbness filled his heart when he thought he had gotten over it. He realized that he could not do anything about the situation. Was there even a situation going on? He had seen him, not even talked to him. He had no idea if Levi remembered him. Probably not. Besides he had no right to meddle with his life even if he could somehow talk to him.
He smiled despite his heart being wrenched through a meat grinder. Levi had a son. The boy had definitely been his. The black hair and the shape of his face were far too familiar although his hair had a curly effect to it. It was from the mother he supposed. The woman who had been Levi's wife most likely, had that same kind of curl to her hair.
Eren briefly wondered how the couple had met. What kind of person was she that Levi married her? He kept mulling these things over in his mind for the next hour as he ate. When he finished he walked out but stopped right outside the restaurant.
"Eren."
Eren stood still unable to say anything. There Levi was again, this time standing right in front of him.
Chapter 3: A Barrier
Chapter Text
Eren's eyes were wide and he looked like he wanted to run away. Levi regarded him silently for a moment before he repeated Eren's name with a questioning tone.
The boy nodded. "Yes."
"Do you know who I am?"
Eren looked hesitant to answer, his fingers fumbling with the edge of his coat sleeves. "I... don't know." Eren stumbled to get the words out.
Levi's eyes narrowed. He knew the kid was lying by how his cheeks were getting tinted by pink. "Don't lie."
Eren's hand rose up to his neck as he tried to think of a way out of the situation. "I am not good at English," Eren managed to say and that made Levi look surprised.
"Oh," Levi had not even considered the brat was not British. "On a holiday?"
The boy nodded.
"Where are you from?"
"Germany."
"Of course you are," Levi sighed, stating the fact out loud. Stupid of him not to realize that. Eren did have a bit of an accent. "But you seem to understand me well enough."
Eren hesitated once again as if going over in his head what he was going to say. "Yes, I can listen but talking is difficult," he said slowly.
"You are doing fine so far."
Eren's gaze fixated on the ground as he blushed at the compliment.
There was so much Levi wanted to talk to him about. So much he wanted to ask, yet, something was holding him back and that something was the reality. He needed time to form some sort of assessment of the situation. He knew he could not let this kid walk away just like that. Not when he found him by chance. "How long is your holiday?"
"Two..umm, weeks," Eren hurried to answer.
That would give him plenty of time to think about this. He dug into his pocket to find his phone. "You have a phone?" he took out the piece of machinery and looked expectantly at the boy. "I'll give you my number. You can call me anytime if you need any help."
Eren looked in same way relieved and even gave a smile. They exchanged numbers and Levi assured the boy once again that he would be there if Eren ran into any kind of trouble.
Neither knew what to say as the moment to walk away approached. Levi settled the situation saying, "I'll see you around, kid." and thus, walked away.
Eren stayed put for a moment before he took a shy glance behind him where Levi was walking away from him. He hated to see him go. He wanted to run after him, say he was in love with him. He wanted them to go back to the way they had been but in the same time he knew it was a stupid idea. Levi had a life of his own now. His feelings were just memories, nothing of it had really happened in this world.
His mind returned to what Levi had asked him, Do you know who I am? Levi was almost out of sight when Eren turned and ran after him.
Chapter 4: Unbelievable
Chapter Text
He ran as fast as he could. He almost lost sight of the man when a group of people walked in between them. He managed to see Levi entering a small bookstore and so he slowed down to walking pace. Suddenly the idea of talking to Levi seemed ridiculous. What would he say? He had run after him rather spontaneously. He bit his lip as he halted by the door of the shop Levi had entered.
He hesitated for the millionth time that day but then came to a decision. He would set everything straight. He entered the small shop and looked around. The air inside the shop was almost stagnant, the smell of ink heavy in the air. He could hardly believe that Levi had come here willingly but as he looked around he couldn't see dust anywhere.
He took a few careful steps and saw Levi talking to someone at the counter. He had taken his coat off and was putting in on a coat hanger behind the counter. The guy who he had talked to disappeared for a moment to the back room and then he walked pass Eren as he left. Levi settled down behind the counter, taking a paper in his hand and begun reading it.
Eren did not dare to move as he watched him. He concluded that Levi was working in the shop or just looking over it, he didn't know which.
Levi noticed Eren when he was about to get up from his seat. Eren smiled at him before walking up to him.
"I know you, Levi," he said nervously, waiting for a response.
"Thought so," Levi said calmly even though Eren could tell he was not as calm as the pretended to be. "Do you want some tea? I was just about to go put the kettle on."
Eren nodded, pushing his hands into the pockets of his coat. Levi went out of sight and Eren could hear the water run and Levi banging things around in the back room. Eren looked around as he waited.
Levi on the other hand was trying to come up with a topic he could pursue once he returned to the presence of Eren. He should have known the boy would follow him. He covered his face with a palm of his hand and sighed. Oh, how he wanted to kiss and hug Eren and tell him everything was going to be just like before. If it was possible, he would walk out of this life to be with him but he couldn't do that. He would not be able to leave his son behind. As far as he knew, his son was the best thing that had happened to him.
The water boiled and he fixed two cups of tea, walking back to the shop area. Eren was looking at something that was across the room. He had a strong sense of déjà vu as he watched the boy sitting slightly hunched over. Eren heard him approaching and turned to him once again smiling.
Levi set the cups down on the counter, sitting down on his seat. Eren watched him still hold the cup the same way he always did.
"Unglaublich," the boy whispered.
Chapter Text
"What?"
Levi's question caused Eren to hesitate, looking down at the hot tea-cup between his hands. He couldn't remember the word in English so he just shrugged. "The cup, you hold it like that," he ended up saying. It made him wonder if Levi did everything the same way he used to. He blushed as his thoughts got side tracked.
This didn't go unnoticed by Levi, who set his cup down slowly. "Eren, do you remember it all?"
The boy blushed even further. "Yes," his voice was steady. The green orbs locked on the blue ones. Levi stared at the green eyes that still sometimes haunted his dreams. The feelings came back rushing in as he could see a tint of lust in Eren's eyes even though the boy tried to hide it. Levi could not take it anymore. He had to kiss the boy, damn the consequences.
Eren was a bit surprised when he was suddenly just inches away from Levi's face. "Heichou..." the name slipped from his lips. He didn't mean to use it but it felt fitting. It was something only he and Levi would know about and he wanted to have something that no one else could touch between them.
Levi closed his eyes and his face twisted in what could only be described as pain as he tilted Eren's chin upwards and brushed his lips against Eren's. To hear that name from Eren's lips after a life time being apart was too much. He didn't know whether to cry or laugh as Eren being Eren pulled him into a passionate kiss by wrapping his arms around his neck.
Kissing him felt so natural. He knew the memories were real. Eren's lips felt soft and familiar. He had no doubt about it, this was the person he had waited for his whole life. He did not know when he had started crying. Eren pulled away, wiping his tears away with his thumbs. "Don't cry, Heichou."
He kept his eyes closed, not daring to look at the tender look that was surely directed to him by Eren. "Don't call me that. I am not that anymore," he could swear his voice was cracking.
"To me, always," Eren said, kissing him again. Eren's fingers caressed his face, moving to the back is head. Eren felt thrilled to feel the undercut under his finger tips once again. He had not realized how he missed it. When they parted, Levi wrapped his arms around Eren, crushing him into a hug. He wanted to never let him go. He breathed in the scent that had not changed. He didn't know how that was even possible.
"Don't leave me," he whispered into Eren's neck. Eren hugged him back just as hard.
"Ahem." The two men had not heard anyone enter the shop until that someone cleared their throat.
Levi jumped out of Eren's embrace and saw his wife standing there, watching the scene with an unreadable expression.
Eren's heart broke as he saw that Levi's son was with her.
Notes:
Why am I writing this when this breaks my own heart? I am crying as I write this bloody story..
Chapter 6: What have I done
Chapter Text
“Lena,” Levi said as he took a step away from Eren. It was unusually for him to hesitate what to say and he was more or less saved by Eren.
“Hello, I'm Eren.” Eren said smiling which was obviously forced but but better than nothing.
Levi hoped his family had not seen him kissing the boy. He wouldn't be able to explain that away to his son.
“Daddy! He has the same name as me!” The little boy ran up to his father and Levi scooped him into his arms.
“Yes he does,” he said smiling. His little sunshine never failed to make him smile. He noticed the older Eren watching them with a smile on his face. He could see so many conflicting emotions in his eyes.
Lena placed a plastic bag on the counter. “You forgot your lunch,” She said.
Levi wanted to grimace. He had never forgotten his lunch before. This Eren business had been distracting him. He needed to talk to Lena about this as soon as possible.
“Daddy, you said my name was special,” the little boy in his arms wondered out loud with a finger between his lips.
“It is,” Levi answered. “And so is his.”
Eren smiled warmly when he heard what Levi said. He looked at the little boy. Now that he was much closer than last time, he could see how much he did resemble his father. Little Eren had the same stormy blue eyes as his father. He would be just as handsome when he grew up, Eren was sure of that.
The little boy looked doubtful, eyeing Eren with some suspicion. “You hugged him because he is special too, daddy?”
“Not as special as you, darling,” Levi said and his son was finally at ease, smiling up at him.
Eren felt happy for Levi but at the same time sadness filled his heart. This was what he would be tearing Levi away from if he acted selfishly and asked Levi to love him once again. Overwhelmed by his thoughts he felt sudden need to get out. “I have to go,” he said, standing up so suddenly that all three other occupants of the store turned to look at him at the same time. “It was nice to meet you.” Eren forced a quick smile on his face, bowing his head slightly to Lena and hurried out of the store.
Tears were stinging in his eyes as he walked briskly towards his hotel. He needed to be alone and he was getting more and more anxious by the minute. He tried not to cry before he reached his room. He was regretting this trip now more than ever. Why was fate so cruel to him? First he lost his Heichou in a battle for their freedom and then the second time he was beyond his reach before they even met. At least now he knew what route to avoid at all cost. He would not be passing by that bookstore again.
Chapter 7: Grateful
Notes:
I honestly re-wrote this couple of times and even after that I just stared at it. I am not feeling confident about this chapter at all.. but I guess I'll let it be since it doesn't miss the goal I am aiming at.. xD
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Who was that?"
Levi scratched the back of his head.
Lena looked concerned. "You were lost in your thoughts last night. You forgot your lunch and now I see you hugging some stranger. Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm fine," he said, setting his son on the ground. "Eren, go and see the picture books. You can choose one as an early birthday present." The kid's face lit up and he ran to his favourite shelf in the store. Eren would be turning five in three week's time. Time had flown past, it felt like just yesterday he had been born.
"You are not fine." Lena took a seat at the chair that had been left empty by the older Eren just a few minutes ago.
Levi let out a sigh and drank rest of his now cold tea. "He was the person who Eren is named after."
Lena's eyes widened. "But.. what?"
Levi could practically hear the gears turning inside her head as she wracked her brain for the answer. He had told her that Eren had been a very important person in his life but nothing else. A person who changed his life. "I have never told anyone else about this," he paused "You remember when I asked you if you believed in past lives and all that shit?" he asked and she nodded.
He told her everything. He did left out the part about giant man eating Titans because she would think he was completely bonkers but he did tell her how Eren had become his charge, how they had fallen in love and how he had supposedly died. "I cannot be sure. I would have to ask Eren for details."
She had listened intensively to every word he said. She looked thoughtful as she mulled the story over in her head. "And all this came back to you when you met him again?"
"No, I've known all of this for as long as I can remember." His hand rose to touch his forehead, rubbing it like he had a headache. "Do you have any idea how hard it was to grow up with these memories? I lost count at how many times I woke up to a nightmare caused by them." He didn't know how to make the next thing he was going to say not to sound like a cliche. "Now the guy whose face has been haunting me for over twenty years is right here in this city just a stone's throw away..." his voice trailed off.
He didn't dare to look at Lena. He let her come to the conclusion of what he wanted to say on her own. She was a smart woman. When they had married he had made his feelings clear that he would not be able to return the love in the same way she did. He cared for her deeply, loving her in his own way. He hoped she remembered that because if she didn't, this could turn ugly and he was worried about their son.
"So," she started to say. "You never loved me at all." She tried to be brave but her voice gave out and tears swelled in her eyes. "I knew that but still... Ah damn," she cursed, burying her face into her hands.
Levi wrapped his arms around her in a flash. "I do care for you deeply. How could I not, you gave me a son." This caused her to cry even harder. He placed a kiss on her head. Even if she was crying, he was relieved. She hadn't thrown a fizzy fit, she was lamenting which meant she would let him go.
Notes:
I dunno why all these people have such an awkward conversations. I think I need to write a chapter that is dedicated to Lena... cos she needs her own 500 words.
Chapter 8: A Nightmare
Notes:
Did someone say they wanted to know how Levi died? No? No one?
Chapter Text
That evening Eren fell into a slumber with tear stains on his face. He had a nightmare about the day when Levi died. The images surfaced, so vivid he felt like it was happening all over again.
He was not sure what went wrong. They were fighting a losing battle and the order for retreat was shot in the sky. Eren saw the flare and turned to look for Levi when he heard a blood shrilling cry of pain. His eyes wide he watched as a titan had Levi in his grip, his right leg had been bitten off. Levi was cursing at the monster and managed to get away from its grip. Eren was about to sigh in relief until he saw Levi falling and falling. His gear malfunctioned and there was no one to catch him. His body hit the ground below with a sickening crunch.
Eren wanted to shout 'No!' but being in his titan form he could not. Instead he let out a howl as he lunged himself at the titan which was responsible for the death of his beloved. The titan died too fast, too easily for him to get any satisfaction out of it. He turned his eyes on the small body lying on the muddy ground.
He knelt and picked up what used to be Levi. Levi's eyes were shot open, his head was in an awkward position, his neck had snapped at the contact with the earth. Eren did not know how long he stayed there, staring at him, willing it not to be true. Levi's body was so fragile in his hands, he was afraid to move his fingers. He might drop him and he wasn't sure his heart could take anymore before shattering completely.
Eren woke up his heart beating fast. He brought his hand to his face, it was wet from tears again. He felt overall uncomfortable, sweat clinging to his skin. He sat at the edge of the bed, calming his racing heart. He glanced at his phone to check the time. It was half past eight in the evening. He had slept for two hours.
He stripped out of his clothes on his way to the bathroom. Eren felt shaken to say the least. He had seen the dream many times before and it always left him with a sick feeling somewhere deep within his gut.
He couldn't comprehend how his life had changed in such a small amount of time. He had come to London for a holiday, memories of Levi distant in his mind. He only had been reminded of him when he thought about dating someone. He had believed that he would simply find someone else, someone who would make him forget. Now he wasn't so sure anymore.
The knowledge that Levi was out there, alive, was eating him. He couldn't help himself from hoping there was a way for them to be together. He wanted to barge in, steal him away and never let go but then the face of little Eren surfaced to his mind. He grit his teeth. He didn't want Levi's kid end up like him, his father walking out on his family.
He didn't hear his phone ringing through the noise of the shower. On the screen flashing was the name Levi.
Chapter 9: He loves me, he loves me not...
Notes:
Sorry this update went this long. I was not at home until now so.. I am scared to go an say that this story is about half way?? I have no idea to be honest...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lena was folding the clean clothes in their bedroom. Once in a while she could hear her son's laughter from the living room as he played with his father. Fifteen years ago when she had first met Levi, she never thought to see the day when Levi would be playing with a child. First he had come across as a cold person but then the things he did spoke for themselves. He helped people out without anyone have to ask for it.
It was his kindness that made her fall in love with him. They had been friends for years until she gathered the courage to propose a relationship and then even a marriage. She knew him well enough to know that he would not ask anyone on his own accord. She had never seen him dating anyone else.
When she had mentioned the prospect of getting married, Levi had said to her, “If you are willing to marry someone like me who will not be able to give you their heart.” It had been a blow at first but she had thought the marriage would change him or having children, but apparently not. It had been a silly dream that was coming to an end.
She sighed as she sat on the edge of the bed, folding the small clothes of Eren into neat piles. She smiled as he thought about their son. Soon after he had been born she had over heard Levi talking to the baby in middle of the night.
“Eren was boisterous to say the least but I loved him.” Levi was silent for a moment before continuing, “I miss him. I would do anything to see him again.”
At first, she thought Levi had been cheating on her but as she observed his behaviour, she noticed it couldn't be true. Levi never left the house for anything else than work and he was serious about it. She had been surprised when he had wanted to name their son Eren. Of course she had asked why and his answer had left her puzzled.
“He was someone very important to me. Much too important.”
She had asked who Eren was but Levi never told her. He seemed to fall into his thoughts every time she mentioned the matter and so she gradually gave up asking. Now she had met the boy who Levi claimed to be his lover from another life. If she didn't know Levi, she'd think he had gone mad. But the seriousness of his voice and the way he had talked about the young man was enough to convince her that he was telling the truth. His story was far too stretched to be a lie.
It explained a few things she had noticed. Sometimes she would catch him staring out of the window silently. When she called his name, he would turn to her and she would see something linger in his eyes that was not meant for her to see. There was something closely resembling to devastation in his eyes. He looked as if someone had died. Now she realized, the one who had died had been Levi himself.
Notes:
I can't believe myself.. look at that last sentence.. where the hell did that come from??!! Damn it fits.. damn!
Chapter 10: Phone Call
Notes:
Ok, posting this "early" today because I will not be home again until the evening.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Levi glanced at the sleeping little boy once more before closing the door to his room. The little sunshine had been completely drained. Levi smiled as he thought how his son had crawled into his lap while they had started to watch Eren's favourite movie. He had noticed the boy was asleep when the little critter didn't answer him anymore.
He walked pass the living room to see Lena sitting on the couch watching the TV. He made his way into their bedroom, closing the door quietly behind him. He sat down on the bed, grabbing his phone from the bedside table. He thought about calling Eren as he scanned through his contacts list. He wanted to hear his voice, to hear he was really there and not part of a dream.
On the other hand he had no idea what to say to him. He rarely used his phone for social calls if ever. He considered sending a text but decided against it. He didn't want Lena seeing them if she ever went snooping on his phone. Staring at the screen he finally made his mind up and clicked 'call' next to Eren's number.
The phone kept ringing and ringing, dragging on. Levi was starting to regret the call when Eren finally picked up.
"Hello?" Eren's voice was wary as if something might jump out of his phone and eat him if he spoke too loudly.
"Hi," Levi said and hoped not to sound awkward. He glanced at the closed door before saying, "We need to talk. What hotel are you staying at?"
Eren mumbled the name of his hotel that was nearby. The line was silent for a moment. "You need to tell me when you are coming. I'll meet you down in the lobby. The elevator needs the key card to make it work."
Levi smiled at the sudden confidence that Eren was talking with. Where was the boy who told him he was not good at English? Maybe the boy had just been nervous earlier? He couldn't blame the boy.
"Tomorrow?" Eren asked when Levi did not answer.
"How about now?" Levi knew it was a bold move, being alone in a hotel room with Eren in the evening was probably not a good idea. He glanced at the bedroom door once again as a tinge of guilt sneaked into his heart. Eren was silent, too much so. "Eren?" he asked when the boy did not answer.
"I'm not sure that is a good idea," Eren said quietly.
Levi smiled at the same line of thought Eren had but something in his voice made him pause. "Are you crying?" Levi had to ask. Eren was never that quiet unless he was trying to hide an emotion that he did not want to show others.
"No," the boy sniffed in the other end.
"I'm coming over," Levi stated firmly.
Eren let out a small laugh. "Ok." Eren knew better than argue with him.
"I'll see you in ten minutes," Levi said and they said their goodbyes until then. He exited the bedroom, making his way to grab his coat.
"Where are you going this late?" Lena appeared at the doorway to the living room, her arms crossed over her chest.
"I think you know," he said and regretted it right after as he saw the sad look on her face. "I'm just going to talk to him," he added as he walked to the front door. He paused to hear if she had anything to say but she didn't and so he walked out into the darkening evening of London.
Notes:
I confused myself with this chapter.. I am trying to get out of this sadness zone.. Slowly.. I think this is going to get lighter in the upcoming chapters. If not, I'm gonna cry until it does.
Chapter 11: Hotel Room
Notes:
I am looking at the next chapter to this one and it is just utter bullshit. I need to rewrite it right away, screw it that it is 3 am.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Eren was waiting for him as he walked in through the hotel's pair of glass doors. The boy looked nervous, his eyes puffed from crying. Levi knew he was the one who caused that and it didn't set well with him. Eren did not say anything, turning around and walked to the elevator. Levi followed him in silence, not daring to break it until they were inside the room.
"I am going to get a divorce," Levi said as soon as he had taken his shoes off.
Eren looked alarmed. "Why?"
"Are you seriously asking me that?"
Eren was torn between yes and no. He wanted to have Levi to himself but he also thought that Levi's place was with his wife and child. Levi's son would be devastated. What about his wife? Wouldn't Lena hate him for stealing her husband? What is she denied Levi the right to see their son and then Levi would hate him too.
Levi's voice broke the young man out of his thoughts. "You are over thinking things, brat."
"But what if Lena says no."
Levi sighed, taking his coat off. "It's my problem to deal with. You don't have to worry your head over it."
Eren was not convinced. He bit his lower lip as he walked further into the small room. He sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed. Levi took a seat at the only chair in the room by a lonely desk.
"So.. " Eren started, staring at his toes.
"Bad at words as always I see," Levi said, crossing his leg over the other as he took more relaxed pose on the chair. He was entertained to see Eren fidget on the bed, failing with words. "Tell me, Eren, are you willing to enter a relationship with me?"
Eren was beyond nervous at this point. His heart hammered in his chest. This was what he waited for, wasn't it? His hands were shaking and he tried to hide it by grabbing hold of his feet. "Of course," he said. There was no way he'd say no.
"That settles it then," Levi said. "You don't have to worry about Lena. She'll understand."
Eren was biting his lower lip again. "What about Eren?"
"I do not know," Levi admitted. He had no idea how to explain this to his son so that the little boy would not experience any heart ache. "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. It's not as if I am going to abandon him, just living somewhere else."
Eren felt guilty every time he though how the little boy would cry when his father would leave. It would be all his fault. He would cause the little boy this sadness. How could he look at him and feel anything but guilt? "It's going to be my fault. It's good I'll be gone after next week."
"Eren," Levi's voice was stern. "Stop worrying about it. The boy will live, hell, the experience might teach him something important about life."
"Isn't that too cruel?"
"Life is not fair. He will learn it sooner or later."
They knew it better than anyone else. Eren was reminded of the nightmare he had. He covered his eyes with a palm.
He heard Levi move and the bed tip. "Don't tell you are going to cry again."
Eren could not speak as he grit his teeth together to stop the tears from forming. His heart and throat burned. His hand was taken away from his eyes gently.
"Everything is going to be alright. We found each other again and I am not letting you go, do you hear me?" Eren nodded at him. "Good, now stop crying. You look ugly when you cry."
Eren could not help but smile, choking out a laugh. His heart filling with happiness as he was given a smile from the most important person in his world.
Notes:
Omg, did I just end a chapter with a happy note? I am smiling as well.. Damn..
Chapter 12: Memories
Notes:
So I ended up writing this because I needed something between what is coming up and that previous one..
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Eren stared at his long-lost lover. He's here and alive, he thought, reaching out to touch Levi's face. His other hand clutched Levi's. Eren smiled and chuckled, causing confusion to enter Levi's eyes.
"Nothing," Eren looked away for a second, hesitating to tell what he had thought about. "You remember when there was that huge storm and.."
"Oh yes," Levi said interrupting Eren, rolling his eyes. He grew serious in the next moment. "That was when I finally cornered you."
A blush entered Eren's face but he didn't let it bother him. "You made me forget how scary the storm outside was." It had been the worst storm in history, no one could go outside so they had been forced to say inside until it passed. People had hard time thinking of ways to entertain themselves, some of them showing signs of cabin fever.
"You didn't have time to worry about it. I chased you around that bed three times until I caught you."
"You should have seen your eyes! I was scared!" The memory of the intensity of Levi's gaze that night made him shudder.
"You were a coward. So brave when killing titans but when someone wants to take your clothes off. Tsk," Levi said teasing the boy.
Eren looked away. "It was so embarrassing." Eren didn't want to remember their first time. He had never embarrassed himself more that he had back then. He couldn't understand how he managed to keep Levi interested in him.
Levi scooted a little closer. "This time it won't be. I already know what will make you squeal."
That got Eren's heart beat accelerate in a delicious way. Levi was so close to him that he couldn't resist but brush their lips together. Levi pushed Eren back on the bed, straddling his hips and deeping the kiss.
Eren was happy to feel the familiar weight against him. Eren wrapped his arms around Levi's back, noticing it was not as toned as before. However, Levi still fit into his arms perfectly. He had always liked their small height difference. It gave him a perfect chance to cuddle the older man to his chest at any given time.
But now was not time for cuddling judging by the way Levi's hands were traveling on his body. His lips were moving from his lips to his neck. Eren's shirt was pulled off and Levi returned his lips on his now bare upper body. Eren took a good look of Levi's face when he took his own shirt off, it was flushed red just as his was.
Levi paused there, letting the shirt slip from his fingers. He was marvelling Eren like he was a piece of art. "I still can't believe you are here," he said softly. They laced their fingers together and his wedding ring caught his eye. He untangled their fingers and took it off, placing it on the nightstand. The significance of the act was not missed by Eren. "Now where were we?" He asked, hands trailing the smooth skin and lowering his mouth back on the boy's skin.
Notes:
How the hell did this turn into almost full blown smut scene? My excuse is that it was 3 am when I wrote most of this..
Chapter 13: Lena's Decision
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The door clanked and floor creaked as Levi returned home. He quietly undressed in the dark room, being as silent as he could not to wake Lena. Sitting on his side of the bed, he set his phone on the side table. Lena did not stir as he lied down. He hoped his return had gone unnoticed by her.
Lena was pretending to be asleep, listening to the quiet sounds that Levi made as he got ready for bed. She had not been able to sleep, worrying about if Levi would return home at all. It hurt even though she told herself that there was nothing she could do. She couldn't make him stay. She would not be able to force him to. He would leave no matter what and it was up to her how she wanted him to go. She could kick and scream, tear their family apart through hatred and anger or she could accept that he had found someone important to live for.
Everyone needed someone like that. If she denied him the chance to do so, she would feel even worse than seeing him happy with another person. Lena made a decision right there and then, she needed to get to know this Eren person to see if he was worthy of Levi.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
"I want to talk to him."
Levi raised his gaze from the morning paper to look at Lena who was sitting across him on the other side of the kitchen table. He eyed her carefully to get a hint of her motivation. "Why?"
"Because I need to."
Levi nodded. "Alright." He could understand she had her reasons. He chuckled as he thought how Eren would freak out, being a nervous wreck for having to talk to his wife.
It was Lena's turn to look at him, her eyes narrowing. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing." He folded the paper, drinking last drops of his tea. "Don't scare him too much. He might cut his holiday short if you do."
"I am not like you. I just want to get to know what kind of person he is."
Levi gave her a calculating look. She was taking this whole thing too calmly. He had expected some angry words come at his way. Were those words saved for Eren, perhaps? "I'll give him a call."
"No, let me call him," she said as Levi was put his cup in the sink and was walking by her.
Levi raised his eyebrows in wonderment as he stopped next to her. "If you insist. Though I am sure that will make Eren flee."
Lena slapped his arm, playfully. "No it won't. I'm always nice. There is a thing or two I could tell him about you that might make him reconsider his love for you."
"I doubt it. He has seen me at my worst."
"If you say so."
"I know so." With that Levi walked out of the kitchen, leaving for work.
Notes:
I can finally see the ending coming, not that it happens any time soon.. I mean it might take me a week which means this will end around 20 chapters.
Chapter 14: Overreacting
Chapter Text
Eren had taken his sight-seeing trip around London. He smiled happily as he felt so much better now. He got all giddy when thinking about last night and thus could not stop thinking about than a certain black-haired man. He was on his way to get a bite to eat when his phone rang. He smiled as he picked up a call that was supposed to be from Levi but the voice that greeted him was a woman's.
"Eren? Hello, this is Lena." Eren's blood ran cold. He was sure she was calling him to back off, threatening to kill him.
"Hi," he said weakly into the phone.
"Listen, I'd like to talk to you. Are you free?" She sounded nice enough for someone who was going to brutally kill him.
"Yes," he signed his own death with the answer. He thanked the gods above that he had been able to meet Levi before his death.
"Great, come to the bookstore. I'll be waiting." She sounded so happy, plotting where to bury his body.
Eren thanked the gods again. He'd see Levi and could tell him how much he had loved him before his wife stabbed him to death. Eren was not far from the store. He counted his steps to know exactly how many there were until he'd die.
There were a few people in the store as he entered. Lena zoned in on him like a bee. "Eren, let's go."
The young man gave a quick glance to see Levi smiling at the counter. Why was he smiling? Had this been their shared plot after all? He was trying to settle his panicking heart as Lena led him through the streets.
"Ever since Levi told me how important you were, I've been wondering a lot about you and I mean I've done that for years." Lena made them stop as they waited for the cars to pass before they crossed the street. "He has never said much about you but you should have seen him when he demanded to name our son after you. It was the only time I saw him get really angry when I didn't agree at first."
Eren listened to the words that bubble out of her mouth, fascinated. She kept the pace brisk and it surprised him how she could talk so much while walking so fast.
"He told me the story of you two. If he wasn't the serious man he is, I would have never believed it. I probably would have packed my bags and take Eren with me to my mother's." She stopped them by a door that Eren realized most likely led into their apartment.
"Since books fascinate me and this whole thing sounds like a fairy tale, I want to hear your side of the story as well," she said opening the door and ushering him inside. Eren didn't know if what was in store for him was any better than the death he had waited for.
Notes:
This story is getting out of hand… or Lena is! She will be reigned in soon enough, don't worry. That almost sounded like I am planning on killing her.. not a bad idea now that I think about it.. xD
Chapter 15: Eren
Notes:
I had to double-check if I had posted a chapter yesterday and I hadn't so, haha. Anyways, we shall see how this goes... because at this very moment I don't have the next chapter written out. I am freaking out. I normally have 2-3 chapters ready but I took a day off yesterday from writing anything and and and... gyaaaaaa!
Chapter Text
Eren spend the next two hours talking to Lena who was really interested to hear him describe her husband. She asked questions all the time, derailing his thought process and the story. What Eren was happy to see was her smile. She wasn't going to kill him or if she was then she hid it well.
"How do you feel now that you met him again?"
"Everything makes sense now," Eren said. "He is alive and not just some memory that keeps popping in my head." He had waited all his life to be taken seriously so he could share his thoughts about Levi and everything else. He had tried once before but it had ended in a disaster. He was embarrassed to remember how he had been ridiculed for believing in such nonsense as souls being reborn. Lena seemed to love the concept. She was ecstatic.
"Is he in any way different from what you remember?"
"Of course he is," Eren said quickly. "But all his habits are exactly the same. It is scary, to be honest." He ran his fingers over the rim of the tea cup he had in his hands. "He used to be so much more on the edge. Now he has this softness about him. He is more relaxed."
Lena smiled at him as she listened. She liked Eren. He was honest and the way he talked about Levi set her mind at ease. The boy's eyes shined, they were bright and full of happiness as soon as he started talking about her husband.
Their conversation was interrupted by the other, much younger, Eren. "Mummy?" he asked, rubbing his still sleepy eyes.
"Darling!" Lena exclaimed softly. "Come here and meet Eren."
The little boy looked between his mother and the young man he had seen once before. The man with a special name like his. His soft footsteps were the only sound in the room as he crossed the floor into his mother's waiting arms.
"Eren is your father's old friend," she said to the child as she took him into her lap. "Say hello to him."
"Hello," the boy said as asked.
"Hi," Eren answered. He could not stop looking at the small boy when ever he saw him. He was beautiful but reminded him of the other side of things. He wondered how things would turn out. Would Levi's son come to hate him? He was effectively ripping their perfect family apart. He looked at Lena and said, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" she was confused when she saw the sad look on his face.
"For being selfish."
Lena's brows furrowed together as she tried to guess what he was on about. Realization dawned on her finally. "Oh no, don't ever think that. It takes two to tango and I've never seen Levi so focused on anything. Even if you decided to walk away, I have a feeling he would follow you."
"I know," Eren simply said. Something in the way Eren said it made Lena pause. What did Eren mean by his answer? Did he imply that he might leave on purpose to have Levi follow after him?
Chapter 16: Three Different Sets of Mind
Notes:
I was freaking out, still am a bit because of having to write this out in a flash, hah! I really need to just sit down and type this story out till the end some day.. maybe tomorrow..!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Levi came home to find his wife and both Erens sitting in the kitchen. Dinner was almost ready by the smell of it. He was surprised to see his son sitting on Eren's lap. "Daddy!" The little boy cried out and surprised Levi again by not running to him. "Uncle Eren says he is from another country," the boy said, eyes gleaming as if that meant Eren was something as exciting as an alien from outer space.
"Oh my, he is?" Levi asked chuckling. His son nodded furiously. "Did he tell you where he's from?"
Levi sat down next to them on the bench.
The little boy fidgeted with excitement. "Germany." He looked up at his 'uncle' to see if he had said it right. Eren just smiled down at him, not wanting to interrupt the little boy's joy.
"Oh, really? Where is that?" Levi leaned on his hand, entertaining his son's curiosity of the matter.
"Umm," the little boy looked between the two adults. "He said it was far away." the little boy seemed saddened by this fact.
Levi reached to ruffle his black locks. "Don't worry kid. Uncle Eren will be able to visit any time he wants."
The boy's eyes brightened at his words. "Really?"
"Yes, really." At that moment Levi made a note to talk to Eren about living arrangements. Eren would be leaving back home next week but Levi wanted him to come back as soon as possible. He also noted that he needed to start the divorce process as soon as possible. He also needed to look for an apartment for himself. He couldn't keep sleeping in the same bed with Lena anymore and their home did not have the space for him to have a bed of his own.
His son would ask questions about it but they'd deal with it. The little boy would understand eventually why and when he was older he would tell him everything. Levi glanced at the older Eren who was sitting so naturally with the little boy in his arms. Levi wished to have a life that they never could have before. He wanted to have Eren by his side and he'd do anything to make sure he would be right there for the rest of his life.
Lena walked over the to table carrying a bread basket. "Food is ready."
She had prepared some meat stew which turned out to be one of the most delicious things Eren had ever eaten. The carrots had cooked just long enough to make them soft so that they melted in your mouth. He complimented her on the food and received a smile in return. He felt out-of-place in the dinner table with Levi's family. He had first hesitated when Lena had suggested that he'd stay for dinner but she had insisted and then her son had given him the most adorable puppy-eyes he had ever seen. If Levi would ever do that, Eren knew he would do anything the older man asked of him.
Lena watched the two men and small boy over the table, sitting next to each other. She noted the way Levi's shoulders relaxed when Eren was next to him. She could see there would be no trouble at all for her son to getting used to Eren's presence in their lives. Regrettably she let a thought of disappointment pass through her mind. She had secretly hoped her son would not accept Eren at all. But she would never admit that to anyone.
Notes:
Allll riiight, this story will have 20 chapters. 20th being the epilogue. I am working on the chapter 19 as we speak. So 4 more days? ^^ I have mixed feelings about ending this!
Chapter 17: Let it all out
Notes:
So sorry that updating took this long. I am just not home during Fridays.. Fridays are days I spend with my granny who soon is 82 years old.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Levi and Eren were talking quietly at the front door as Eren was about to leave back to his hotel. Lena didn't want to intrude on their private conversation but kept glancing at them from the kitchen where she could see the front door clearly.
Levi's hand was subconsciously touching Eren's arm and they were standing a bit too close to each other in her opinion. The way Eren kept giving Levi's lips a gaze unnerved her. She had been cleaning the table, putting dishes into the sink and food items back to fridge. She turned he back to them, starting on the dishes. She didn't see it but she almost was certain there was a small peck shared between the two men's lips.
She heard Eren bid them farewell, closing the door gently after himself.
She was almost done with the washing when her son walked back into the kitchen. "I like Uncle Eren," Eren said. "Will he visit again?"
She didn't know what to say. All she could think about was how the young man was now part of their lives. Pain grips her heart and she sucks in a breath, gritting her teeth. She hurried away from her son's questioning gaze.
She closed the bathroom door, locking it and let the tears fall. She slid to the floor, resting against the wall, sobbing her heart out. This was her moment of weakness. She had thought she could take it but something so small had triggered the tears. Unknown to her, her son listened behind the door quietly.
Levi was reading a newspaper in the living room when Eren climbed on his lap. "Daddy?"
"Yes?" He folded the paper and put it away.
"Why is mummy crying?"
Levi paused. Guilt being the most forward feeling in his heart. "She is?" Maybe he should try to keep his distance from Eren when she was around. It must hurt her to see them in the same room, not to mention interacting. He would have kissed him goodbye but he hadn't in case she or their son saw it.
Little Eren nodded looking scared that there was something seriously wrong with her.
"Everyone cries some times," Levi answered. "She is feeling sad and she needs to let it out. If you keep it all bottled up it can be a bad thing." He explained, hoping the little boy would understand.
"Why is mummy sad?"
"She has a lot on her mind. She will be alright, don't worry." He tried his best to make his little boy not to worry about his mother.
The boy nodded, still looking worried.
"Hey, we could do something to cheer her up," he suggested to the sad little boy. Eren's eyes lit up at the idea. "We could make her favourite pancakes for dessert."
"Pancakes!" The boy jumped off his lap, running to the kitchen.
Levi smiled as he watched the boy go. He rubbed his ring finger with his thumb absent-mindedly when he noticed he had forgotten his ring to the hotel. If Lena had noticed, she hadn't said anything. He let out a sigh as he stood up. He would need to go and get the ring so he could return it to Lena who had given it to him. He made a side step on his way to the kitchen. He paused just outside the bathroom to hear her sobs. Maybe she wasn't coping as well as he thought she was.
Notes:
I just love little Eren.. argh! Kill me already.
Chapter 18: Divorce
Notes:
I actually had a mental breakdown yesterday when I thought that I would be ending this in a few chapters(I was like Lena, sobbing all alone). I feel like I'm giving away my own baby or something. I've written the last chapter but I still feel I have million things to put in there! It's kinda funny that this fic's project name that I have for it is "I do not want to let you go" and that is how I feel! ARGH! Oh the irony...
Chapter Text
"Two more days," Levi said each word between kisses and bites. He intended to mark Eren as much as possible before he had to let him go. Two more days until Eren would return to Germany. "When are you coming back?"
"I don't know." Eren said with a sigh of pleasure leaving his lips. They were wrapped in each others arms, rocking in a slow rhythm, making love.
Levi tucked Eren as close to him as possible which caused Eren to tighten his legs around his waist. "Move in with me," he whispered.
Eren gasped, his hands buried in Levi's hair. "Wh-what?" he managed to ask.
"You heard me." Levi picked up the pace of his thrusts.
"But," Eren managed to say before Levi kissed him. When his mouth was free again he continued, "I have to finish my studies."
"That doesn't mean you cannot visit." Levi bit down on Eren's shoulder as an overwhelming wave of pleasure washed over him.
"I know. Ah!" Eren cried out as he came.
As they evened out their breathing Levi spoke again. "After you graduate, you are moving in with me."
Eren ran his fingers through the smooth black hair. "Of course."
"Sign these, please." Inside his head he had gone through several ways of starting up this particular conversation.
Lena looked up from the stack of papers Levi had just dropped before her eyes. She gulped as she read through them. "Divorce papers?"
"Yes."
"Already? You have been with him for less than two weeks." A look of disbelief was all over her face.
"I intend to know him for even longer. You should know this by now."
Lena was shaken by the coldness of Levi's words even though his tone was not so.
"It's for the best and you know it," Levi continued.
"Can I have a moment to think about this?"
"Lena.." he almost whined as if she was a child who was rebelling against him. He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Look, I know this is hard but I know what I need to do. We cannot go on like this." He looked at her face carefully to see if his words were having any effect. "I want to give you the chance of finding someone who will give you everything you need. I will move out as soon as possible."
Her eyes rose to his. "You are leaving?" she asked quietly.
"Yes, I am already searching for a place of my own."
She panicked, gasping his hand. "You don't have to go. You can stay here."
"No," he shook his head. "It will never work out. What do you suppose we'd do when Eren comes to visit me? That is a disturbing thought, never mind," he said wincing as he thought of the possible consequences such thing would bring.
Lena let her hand drop from his and she took the papers in her hand. "I'll sign them. Don't worry," she said distantly, leaving to the sanctuary of their bedroom, closing the door behind her.
Levi let her go and have time to herself. He took out his phone and called Eren to let him know he'd be coming over. This was the last night they'd have together before Eren left. Levi did not return home that night.
Chapter 19: Farewell
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Eren wanted to wake up like this every morning, spooning with Levi. He breathed in the scent of what he had thought he would never get to smell again. These past two weeks had changed his life so much already. He would finish his studies in Germany and then most probably move in with Levi but anything was possible so he didn't fret. They had about three years to decide what to do, where to live.
One evening they had talked about their lives and Eren had learned that Levi was originally from France, so even moving back there could be an option. Eren did not care as long as they'd be together. He chuckled to himself when he thought about how his mother would react when he returned home and told her, "I found the man of my dreams." quite literally.
"What are you laughing at?"
Eren chuckled again. "Nothing."
Levi turned to face him, his eyes still heavy with sleep. He was not a morning person. His body didn't seem to get used to waking up early each day. Today was an exception though. He had gotten a few more hours of sleep than normally. He had asked for a favour from his co-worker to let him have a free morning. Eren's flight would leave at noon and Levi wanted to spend the time left with him. They had not made any solid plans for the future. It could be a long time until they saw each other again.
Eren saw something on Levi's eyes that made him ask, "What's wrong?"
Levi coughed, trying to hide the fact he was being affected so strongly when he knew well this was not the end. "Nothing," he whispered, snuggling his face into the crook of Eren's neck.
Eren hugged him tightly guessing what this was about. He sank his fingers into Levi's hair, mapping out his scalp in leisure movements. "I can come back on Christmas," he suggested to get Levi to relax. He felt Levi's breath on his neck as the man sighed.
"That is almost six months away." Levi pulled back to see Eren's face.
"I could come over on some weekends then?"
"Do that, I am not waiting for half a year to see you again. I'll of course visit you too." Levi looked away. "Once I'm sure your mother will not strangle me."
Eren laughed out loud. "She is nice. She knows I am gay and supports me. Stop worrying."
"I am a lot older than you."
"Not that much."
"Thirteen years not much?" Levi scoffed.
"It's less than last time." Eren placed kiss on Levi's forehead.
"Whatever, brat." Levi hated to show his insecurities, only letting Eren see them.
Eren kissed him, smiling against his mouth.
There was still four hours before Eren had to be on the airport. Eren packed and Levi watched him do so with a heavy heart. He tried his best not to think about the separation that was forthcoming. Once Eren was done, Levi took him out to eat. They had not eaten breakfast yet but Levi wanted them to eat something solid. He kept glancing at the clock, seeing it tick away the precious seconds without mercy.
Levi could not take it anymore when they were standing at the airport and it was time to say goodbye. He buried his face into the front of Eren's coat, eyes filling with tears. Eren was in no better condition, hugging him with such a force he was sure to break a few bones.
"I have to go," Eren said sobbing while trying to stay cheerful. "I'll call once I get home, ok?"
Levi's arms wrapped around his waist. "Yeah," he whispered hoarsely. This was not something he wanted Eren to see. Reigning his emotions back under control, Levi swallowed, quickly wiping the wetness of his face. He took a step back from Eren. "Call me," he said and Eren nodded at him.
Eren took his luggage, walking towards the security check point. His feet felt heavy like lead and he willed himself not to look back. He wasn't sure he'd be able to leave if he did.
Levi watched him go. He wanted to run after him one more time as he realized something.
I did not kiss him goodbye.
Notes:
Phuuuu this was heavy to write.
I cannot end this yet. I simply cannot. I keep looking at the "last chapter" I wrote and it feels so wrong. Just not gonna happen, no. It's full of bullshit and things that I could write chapters after chapters about. So many things... so many stupid things that need to be said and done. So I'm scrapping it and putting all those 2k words I wrote for it into several chapters. I'm re-writing everything in it to be honest. No one will ever know how much it sucked ass..
So I will continue over chapter 20.. maybe I will end up writing 50, who knows.. but I will only stop when I am satisfied with the ending. I am not satisfied with the current one I wrote, not by long shot.
I came to this conclusion just because I have been "kicking and screaming" about it for days now. … and my mind keeps on telling the story to me. I took that as a sign to just bloody write it all.
So here we go, enjoy the ride cos it will last a bit longer.
I feel so much better now.
Chapter 20: I'm Falling to Pieces
Chapter Text
Eren should have called hours ago. Levi had not gotten worried yet, no. He was sure his phone would ring any minute and the goof brown-haired idiot would call him. He had just gotten home from work and was sitting in the living room, flicking the TV on. The news were on when the worst that could happen did. His whole world stopped in an instant.
"Flight number 395 from London to Hamburg crashed near the airport of Hamburg earlier today..." the voice of the anchor drowned out.
His blood ran cold. Levi stared at the screen, unmoving, not believing his ears or eyes. He could not move. He was cold and empty inside. He was sure his heart had stopped beating, he could not hear it nor feel it. Eren is dead. "Lena," he tried to shout for her but his voice did not carry. His vision was blurring sightly as he kept on staring at the television.
She heard it nonetheless and saw him sitting on the edge of his seat, frozen as he stared at the news. "What is.." she saw what he saw and took in a breath as she understood the seriousness of the news.
The air in the room was still. Lena had never seen Levi look so emotionless and lost. He simply sat still even after the topic of the news changed to something unimportant. Only thing that told her he was feeling anything was the tears that silently fell from his eyes. He didn't seem to noticed them at all.
"He's dead," Levi stated in a neutral voice as if he was in a dream.
Lena shook her head even if Levi could not see it. "They said there are survivors. He could be among them. I'm sure he is alive."
"I should have.." Levi's voice was quiet as he spoke. "Not let him go."
Lena could not watch him anymore without doing something. She went to him, kneeling in front of him. "I am certain he is alive. Do not lose hope." She gently touched his knee to show her support.
He's eyes turned to look at her. They were empty. "He could be.."
"Alive," she ended the sentence for him with firm tone. Something told her that Levi was going to end it with the word 'dead'. "I'll go and check who I need to call to make sure he is." She left to open her laptop. There had to be a line she could call and ask if Eren had survived or a page were they would post a list of names, anything.
"What's his last name?" she asked but got no answer. "Levi, I need his last name."
She heard him breath for the first time. "Jaeger. I think," he said. "I don't know if he still has that name. I don't know," he said with desperation clear in his voice, covering his eyes with his hand as he succumbed to the sorrow, tears falling faster.
Watching Levi silently fall apart was not something she had wanted to see. Lena tried to keep her own emotions in check as she kept on searching until she found the info she needed. She left the room to make the call. In case the news were bad she did not want Levi to hear or see her reaction. If the news were bad, she did not how to break it to the already broken man.
Notes:
While writing this I was listening to 2 songs by David Guetta, ft Sia, Titanium and She wolf(falling to pieces) .. those damn songs just makes me so melancholy. When I am sad the first song that pops into my head is Titanium.. seriously..
Do I have to remind you guys, this story will have a happy ending. I am sure of it... I think.
Chapter 21: Hamburg
Chapter Text
"Levi," Lena shook his shoulder gently. "Honey, hey," she shook him again until he turned his face to her. She couldn't but smile. "He's alive. He is in a hospital though, but he is alive."
Levi's whole posture changed in an instant. "I'm flying to Hamburg," he said, rushing out of his seat.
"Wait a second, Levi!" she quickly followed him.
"No," he said, already pulling his coat on.
She was speechless.
Levi marched into the kitchen, rummaging through the drawers looking for his passport. He knew he had put it here somewhere. He found it after a minute of searching, checking that it was still valid and was relieved to see that it was.
"You are going right now?"
"Yes, I'm taking the next possible flight." He stood up, not paying her much attention.
He was gone before she could say much else.
Lena was standing in the kitchen, not knowing what to do suddenly. Her phone rang a few minutes later and she saw Levi's number flashing on the screen. "Yes?" she answered. What had he forgotten now?
"What hospital is he in?"
Lena tried not to smile as she answered. She was so relieved Eren was alive and it was slightly humorous to see Levi lose his head over the fact. Next time Levi called her, he was already in Hamburg and about to go ask if it would possible for him to see Eren. He apologized for leaving so suddenly and of course she couldn't be mad at him.
She came to realize how little she knew about the two men and their history. That was the moment she walked into the bedroom, took the divorce papers from the bedside table where she had left them and signed them. This was the least she could do. She would take them to Levi's solicitor in the morning.
Levi could hardly remember much about the flight or the trip to the hospital. He only had one goal and that was to see Eren and to make sure he was alive. He walked up to the front desk and asked for Eren Jaeger. He got told he was on the second floor. They didn't stop him or ask him who he was which meant the brat was not dying.
He found the room rather quickly, pausing to take a deep breath. He really hoped Eren was not badly hurt. He saw a woman next to Eren's bed, talking to him softly. Both Eren and the woman, who resembled the brat so much that she must be his mother, turned to look at him as he entered.
"Levi?!" Eren exclaimed, as if he had seen a ghost.
"I see you are alive and well."
"I would have called you but I have no idea where my phone is so I don't have your number."
Eren's mother looked confused, asking something in German from him. They had a brief conversation and Levi heard his name said a few times between words he did not understand.
Eren turned to him smiling and beckoning him over. "Come here. This is my mother Carla."
Levi walked over, taking her hand and kissing the back of it as he muttered, "Je suis enchanté de faire votre connaissance, Carla."
She blushed at him, saying to Eren, "Er ist charmant."
That had Eren smiling like a fool. "She likes you already," Eren said.
"I noticed," Levi let her hand go, giving her a warm smile and turned to Eren. His face turned serious. "People died, Eren."
"I'm fine," he answered.
Levi took a good look at him. Eren's head had some bandages, his arm was in a sling but otherwise he indeed seemed fine but Levi knew better than to believe the brat just like that. "How badly are you hurt?"
"Broken arm and some ribs. Honestly, I'm fine. They gave me something for the pain so I don't really feel that much."
"In other words you are high as shit?"
Eren grinned. "Yeah."
Levi sighed, clutching Eren's hand. "You have no idea.." Levi didn't know how to exactly end that sentence.
Despite the medication Eren looked grim. "Yes, I do," he said as the memories surfaced. "I know exactly how it feels."
Notes:
I do not speak French... but I read somewhere that "Je suis enchanté de faire votre connaissance" is a formal way of saying "I'm delighted to meet you." but /shrug.. I just thought this fits cos Levi is trying to woo his "mother-in-law" into accepting him..you know what they say about first impressions.. And someone doesn't understand Carla then she said "he is charming" .. and I don't speak German either but still.. xD
Aah this whole thing reminded me of how I love languages and shit..
Chapter 22: Carla
Notes:
I am sure these next chapters are going to be "easy" on the heart.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"I know," Levi said realizing what Eren meant.
The silence in the room was broken by a nurse stopping by.
"The visiting hours have ended," Eren said.
"I need to go and find a hotel," Levi said and started to walk out the room.
"Wait!" Eren exclaimed after him before turning to his mother while gesturing towards his lover. Only a few words were said and Eren turned back to him with a smile. "You can stay at our house."
"That's nice of you but.."
"No buts!" Eren huffed in annoyance.
Levi sighed. He was too exhausted to argue. "Ok, fine." He felt better when he saw the beaming smile Eren gave him. "I'll wait outside," he said before getting out of the hospital room.
"So," Eren's mother, Carla, turned to her son. "You met him in London you say?"
"Yeah." Eren blushed a little as he pinched the blanket covering him between his fingers. "Listen Mum.."
His mother couldn't help from smiling as she watched her son's embarrassed state. "Is he your boyfriend?"
Eren opened his mouth to say something stupid and after couple of sighed he said, "Yes."
"Quite devotion from someone to fly after you after knowing you for.. two weeks?"
"Actually," Eren began and that caught her mother's interest. "I've known him a lot longer."
"Hmm?"
"You remember the dreams and memories I used to tell you about?"
Carla's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "How is that relevant?"
"He is the guy, Mum."
"What guy?"
Eren covered his face with a palm of his hand. "Mum.." There was no way she did not know who he was talking about. He had pretty much told her everything when he had been younger and did not understand what the dreams meant. He was glad she had not shipped him of to some mental hospital but instead she talked to him and made him understand he didn't need to be afraid.
His mother's laughter filled the room for a moment. "Yes, darling, I know who you are talking about." She leaned closer to take his hand away from his face. "This is amazing. How did you find him?"
"He just passed me by on the street."
"Incredible." His mother looked awed. "I wish I could talk to him. Does he share the same memories?"
Eren nodded.
"Wow. This is like finding your soul mate or something," she giggled like a little girl.
"Mum," Eren said, hoping she would stop soon with her embarrassing antics. He was glad she could not speak English or French. Who knows what she would say to Levi.
"Oh my darling, I'm just happy for you even though he seems a bit old for you." Her face was set on fake seriousness.
"Don't you start too. He's more than conscious about it already."
"Alright." She ruffled his hair, smiling. "It will be an interesting evening at home." She got up and taking her jacket she added, "I'd imagine he'll be here first thing in the morning."
Eren looked down on his hands. "I guess so."
Seeing her son happy even after such an accident made her happy. This day had been one of the worst of her life and she was grateful she had not lost her son. She had worried about Eren when he was in London but had let him have his holiday in peace. It seemed it had been an interesting one to the boot.
She bade her son farewell and stepped out to the corridor where the mysterious Levi was sitting, head in his hands. As if she had commanded him, he snapped back to attention and stood up, ready to leave.
Notes:
Next chapter is going to be fun to write.
Chapter 23: Silence is Golden
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Levi followed Eren's mother to her car. He had no idea what to say to her. What do people talk to someone who might not even understand a word they say? Carla didn't seem to mind the silence. She was humming to a song that was playing on the radio and drumming her fingers against the steering wheel. She drove into a beautiful housing area, one house after the other house but none of them too close to each other. She pulled up on a drive way leading into a white house which exterior looked like it was made out of wood.
Carla turned to him when they reached the front door and said, "Willkommen." She gestured for him to enter.
Levi smiled at the sweet older woman who smiled back at him, letting him inside. He could see where Eren had inherited his smile from.
Carla showed him into Eren's room, flicking on the lights. Levi gave her a questioning gaze and she ushered him inside. He sat on the bed, looking around as Carla disappeared and left the door ajar.
This was clearly Eren's room. Full of posters of his childhood heroes and pictures of friends. There was a few items he had kept such as toys. Levi was sure those had been his favourite ones because they looked used, torn and worn.
He inhaled deep, the room smelled of Eren and it soothed him. He would sleep well in here tonight. He would go to see Eren in the morning and spend the whole day with him if possible.
Carla walked back into the room with a tray of food and set it down on Eren's desk. She smiled at him once again and said, "Bon appétit."
Levi chuckled. He had a feeling there wouldn't be that many problems getting along with Carla after all. "Thank you."
She was humming the song she had listened to in the car as she went Eren's closet and took out a shirt and a pair of pajama pants. She folded them on the bed for him to use and quickly went to get him a towel as well.
Levi could not but shake his head in wonderment how the woman could be so considerate. She had this knowing smile on her face the entire time as if she knew something he didn't which was probably true. He mused if Eren had told her about him. He must have, no one otherwise wore a smile like that when helping a stranger. He suspected Carla would have chattered his ears off if she could.
When had eaten he took the towel she had set for him and before he could take another step outside of the room she was there to show him where the bathroom was. He thanked her again and he didn't see her again that night.
After a shower he changed into Eren's clothes. He buried himself under the covers and closed his eyes. It felt heavenly to be surrounded completely by Eren's scent and things after the shock he had experienced. He didn't want to leave the bed ever again. He slept like a baby that night, dreaming of the boy who had captured his heart.
Notes:
This was a bit short, sorry. I just didn't feel like adding anything there.
Chapter 24: Everything Looks Brighter After a Cup of Coffee
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"Guten Morgen," Carla greeted Levi as he walked into the kitchen the next morning.
"Good morning," he answered, sitting down and rubbing his eyes.
Carla set a cup of coffee in front of him. He looked at the liquid as it would jump at him. He contemplated about refusing politely but changed his mind. Coffee might do him some good today.
"Haben Sie gut geschlafen?"
Levi blinked, looking at her for a moment. He cursed to himself. He needed to learn some German if he was going to visit Eren for the next three years or so that he had left of his University studies.
She kept looking at him, waiting for some sort of answer. He decided to go with a shrug. She said something again and a smile tugged at her lips. Levi was sure that she was making fun of him but decided to ignore it as he took a sip of the dark liquid.
Carla was too cheerful for a woman whose son was in the hospital. She offered him bread while humming to some song again. She seemed to do that a lot. Levi pondered if she didn't like silence and always had to fill it with something. He could easily imagine how rowdy the house had been when Eren was a little boy. He realized he was smiling when Carla paused to look at him.
She suddenly snapped her fingers and began to hum a different song. Levi wasn't sure if he should be worried for her mental stability. She rose her finger up in the air and sang with a heavy German accent.
I know you care, I know it is always been there
Levi set his cup down, not knowing how to react. She didn't seem to mind. "Sie," she said as she pointed at him. "Liebe." She drew a heart in the air with her fingers. "Eren?"
"Yes," he said which caused her to smile.
She nodded, pleased with his answer. She seemed to only have asked that because of wanting some reassurance. "Gut."
Eren was staring at the ceiling when Levi walked into his hospital room that morning. Carla had dropped him off by the hospital. "Morning!" the young man cried out, clearly happy to have company. "I hate to be in here."
"You'll get out soon enough."
Eren let out a frustrated sigh. "So did you get along with my mother?" he asked as Levi pulled a chair next to the bed.
"Surprisingly well. She is a nice person."
"Nice?" Eren looked doubtful. "She didn't interrogate you the whole night?"
Levi smiled at the thought. "No."
Eren eyed him suspiciously. "She must have said something."
"She had a rather nice way of asking if I loved you."
Eren almost jumped up. "What way? What did you say?"
Levi ignored the first question. He was not going to repeat her actions to Eren. "What do you think I said?"
"Hmph!" Eren would have crossed his arms if he could.
Levi tugged Eren's hand in his. "Saying the words doesn't make it any more true." Levi smiled as he added, "Besides, if I had said no, she would have probably killed me and I'd be buried in your backyard."
His comment made Eren laugh, maybe a bit too loudly because of his medication, but the feeling was all the mattered.
"Is that my shirt?" Eren looked at the t-shirt peeking from under Levi's coat that he had not yet taken off.
Levi looked down at at the print of some random band's name. "Yes. I'll give it back as soon as.."
Eren interrupted him. "Nah, keep it." It was Eren's favourite shirt but he didn't tell Levi that.
Notes:
Oh btw that one liner is from a song called I Know You Care by Ellie Goulding. See, I posted this early because I had this ready for today which is Friday! Yay!
I have a feeling that the next few chapters are going to be rather sweet. I got this thing I really want to put in that just melts my little heart. (Let's all be happy that I am feeling happy.. god help us if a wave of sadness hits me like a ton of bricks)
Btw, What I mean by Carla's way of "asking" if Levi loves Eren is this kind of Me Tarzan, You Jane -way of asking things where you just disregard all grammar and go word the simplest way of using language. Does that make any sense? So basically if it was in English, it could have been "You" "Eren" "Love?" .. that is what I was aiming for.
Chapter 25: Evil
Notes:
I'm posting this chapter a bit early because this weekend is just sick busy for me. Well to be honest, I'm sitting down and watching Blizzcon so I have time to write for a while and I wrote bunch of chapters for this one already so why not treat you guys to some extra ones when I can.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Levi had called to work that morning to let them know where he was and explained the situation. He would sort things out once he was back in London and that would be the day after tomorrow. He wished he could stay longer with Eren but he needed to go home. Not to mention there was a small confused boy waiting at home for his father to return. That reminded him to call home later in the day.
As for now, he was sitting in Eren's hospital room with Eren and Carla. She had joined them a few minutes ago and was chatting with her son, glancing at Levi's direction once in a while as if she had something she wanted to say.
"Why is she eyeing me like that?" Levi had to ask. The woman was obviously up to something.
"What?" Eren was not expecting the question and thus looked confused for a second. "Ah, it's nothing. She just regrets she can't really talk to you like the mother hen that she is."
"What exactly have you told her about us?" Levi asked from Eren but was looking at Carla as if trying to read her mind. She politely smiled at him.
"That you are my boyfriend."
"That surely covers it all." A hint a sarcasm colored his sentence as he gave Eren a quick glance. "What else?"
"She knows most of our past. I had hard time dealing with all that bloodshed and stuff when I was a kid."
"I can imagine you telling her about our affair. She must have been thrilled to hear that."
Eren wanted to flip a finger at Levi but resisted the urge. "She helped me deal with it."
"Yes, I'm sure," Levi said vaguely as he still looked at Carla. Levi knew this was his chance to let her know things she couldn't ask for. "Tell her that no matter what happens, I'll be here," Levi said, looking at Eren. "Tell her, I will be there for you even if you leave me."
"That's cheesy," Eren said, frowning.
"I don't care what it is, she needs to hear it."
"Ok, ok," Eren said and repeated Levi's words to his mother.
Carla's smile got bigger and she rose up, walking around the bed to hug Levi. The said man was surprised by her behavior, not knowing if he should hug her back or not. Carla pulled back, kissing his forehead and said, "Danke."
She said something else that Eren translated for him. "I'm glad there is someone like you to watch over my son."
When Carla returned to her seat, Levi muttered with a warm smile on his face, "You Jaegers are far too emotional creatures."
"Says a guy who just caused all that."
Levi chuckled, clutching Eren's hand. "I'm sorry for that." He was not sorry. Not at all and he knew Eren knew it as well. "I have to leave tomorrow," he said with a straight face, returning back to normal before any sort of smile was blastered on his face twenty-four-seven.
Eren looked sad like a kicked puppy. Eren was cunning, he told what he said to his mother and soon Carla was looking at Levi the same way. "Not you too," Levi growled, rolling his eyes at the two.
"I cannot stay much longer. I have a job to get back to and there is another Eren that awaits my return."
Eren's look stayed the same even when he said, "I know."
"It's his birthday in three days."
Eren's eyes brightened. "Really? Why didn't you tell me? I would have gotten him something while I was there!"
"Don't worry. It is not necessary."
"Fine, whatever," Eren huffed. "The little kid will be disappointed when there is nothing from his awesome Uncle Eren."
"He won't be. I can always buy something in your stead and claim you bought it."
"Evil."
"I know."
Notes:
Aaaw, what is with me.. is it raining puppies or something? That would actually be gruesome experience if you think about it. Onwards to chapter 26... which is going to be cute... I think.. again.. xD
Chapter 26: I'll Say It Three Times
Notes:
This chapter has many important things in it. I hope you enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
That evening Levi was sitting in the kitchen watching as Carla cooked dinner. He had insisted he could help and Carla did, in fact, bring him a chopping board and a knife. Once in a while she would place a vegetable on it for him to hack to pieces. Carla took the board away and thanked him, letting him know his part was done.
Levi took this chance to call home. He exchanged a few words with Lena, telling her he would be home soon. Lena then gave the phone to Eren who was anxious to know when his father was coming back.
"Daddy?" a careful little voice asked from the other end, causing Levi to smile from ear to ear.
"Hi, kid," he said to his son. "I'll be home tomorrow. Are you getting excited for your upcoming birthday?"
"Yea!" The boy answered enthusiastically. "Mummy said there will be a big cake."
"Ooh, that's good!"
At this point Carla had turned to look at Levi but he did not notice. He was far too absorbed in the conversation with his son. Carla could swear she had heard him say the word 'kid'. She hadn't know he had children but it couldn't be a bad thing. Levi's whole being was livelier than it had been since she met him. Even if the child was not there physically, she saw how much he or she meant for the man.
She knew the feeling well. There was nothing she wouldn't do for Eren. But if Levi had a child, did that mean he was married as well? Eren had not mentioned it at all and now that she knew to look for it, there was no ring on Levi's finger.
She walked up to him as soon as he was done with his call. Her questioning gaze moved from the phone to his face.
"My son," Levi said and she understood.
Carla wanted to ask so many things and Levi saw how it was tearing her apart not to know how to.
He dug his wallet out of his pocket and took out the most recent picture of his little Eren. "His name is Eren." He offered the picture to Carla who took it.
"Eren?" she asked confused.
"Yes." Levi nodded. "I named him after your son," he said even though he was not sure if she understood. The emotion in her eyes told him she did. He was not surprised he was hugged again by Carla. She seemed to convey her feelings with hugs. No wonder Eren was so keen on hugging as well.
His flight would leave in few hours and since he had no luggage he'd save time and so he had enough time to pay one last visit to Eren. The brat was reading a magazine as Levi entered to room.
"God, help me. I want out of here," the boy cried out.
"Have they said when they are releasing you?" Levi did not bother to sit down. It was better if he would not get too comfortable.
"Couple of more days until they see that my ribs are healing correctly. They forbid me from doing anything anyways."
"You better listen to them. I do not want to hear you died because of some stupid stunt."
Eren made a face. "Yes, sir."
Levi flicked him on the forehead.
"Ou! What was that for?"
"For being a brat."
Eren smiled gently at him. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For just being alive and here."
"Oi, you are not old enough to speak that way."
Eren stuck his tongue out at him.
"That proves my point."
"I tried to be nice."
"No, you tried to be sentimental fool when there is no need for it."
"There never is." Eren looked down at the magazine lying on his lap. "With you at least."
"Don't tell me you are depressed? What happened to your medication high?"
Eren kept his eyes downcast.
"Come on, Eren. I am about to leave and you are making me feel bad. Who knows when the next time is that see each other. I don't want to leave knowing you are mad at me for something trivial like this."
"I'm not mad," Eren said. "Just a bit sad."
Levi leaned in, to really look into Eren's eyes. "Because?"
"I just wanted to let you how much you mean to me but.."
Did Levi see that Eren's lower lip was quivering? "Hey," he said, tilting Eren's chin up. "I'm not good with sentimental words but if you need to me to say them then I will," his eyes flickered from Eren's eyes to his lips. "I love you," he said and placed a kiss on his right cheek. "Ich liebe dich," he said, kissing his left cheek. "Je t'aime," he said and finally kissed Eren's lips.
Notes:
I dunno when it is ok for the author herself go and say "aaaw that's so sweet"
Chapter 27: Bad With Words
Notes:
This chapter is all about the cutie, little Eren.
Chapter Text
Levi signed his name on the tenancy agreement. He now had an apartment with two bedrooms, one for his son and one for him. The plan was that Eren would move from Germany to London when he graduated and move in with him. Eventually they would be sharing the pay load of the rent but Levi did not worry about that yet. He could manage it either way.
The divorce process was underway and they had agreed with Lena that little Eren would spend every other week with him. The little fellow was confused with his father moving out but was taking the change rather well. The little boy had not thrown any tantrums which Levi had been fearing for.
"Why are you not coming home, Daddy?" his son asked him one evening when they were sitting in middle of the few boxes he had his things in. They were unpacking them and he gave Eren freedom to choose where to put the things he found, such as photos.
Levi mused how to answer to that in a way that would not cause any more confusion. "Mummy and Daddy can't live together anymore."
"Why?"
"Because we do not want to fight in front of you."
"Fight?"
"We are disagreeing about something and this time it's easier to walk away than stay together." What the hell was he saying?
The little boy did not seem to understand what he had said as there was still a confused look on his face. Eren was deep in thought, trying to figure out what his father had meant.
"Some times there are fights that you need to walk away from or you'll end up hurting yourself or someone else more than you would if you had just walked away. Fighting is not about brute strength or violence. You must have the devotion to keep on fighting if the cause is right. You should never lose sight of what you are fighting for because that is when you lose the battle before it has even begun."
"You are leaving us?"
"Of course not. The cause I'm fighting for is different from what your mother is fighting for," he smiled at the boy. He knew Eren did not understand much of what he had said. "You'll be staying with me the whole next week and then the next with your mother. Neither of us is leaving you."
"Daddy, I don't understand," Eren frowned at him.
Levi decided to try the more simple tactic of telling the truth. "Daddy and Mummy are getting a divorce which means we'll not be married anymore." Eren looked at him worriedly. "People get married because they love each other and divorce when they lose that love for each other."
Eren's eyes were watering and he sniffed. "You don't love Mummy?"
Levi smiled at the boy who was about to cry. "It is not the end of the world, Eren. I still care for Mummy. I still love you and will always love you no matter what happens between Daddy and Mummy." He had never imagined there'd be a time when he'd be spouting the words of love so much in such a short amount of time. First the German and now his own son needing reassurance he wouldn't leave him.
"I want Daddy and Mummy together."
"I know but there is nothing I can do. I am sorry that this hurts you," Levi said, pausing in his task of unpacking. "Only thing that changes is that Mummy and Daddy live in separate places, nothing else." He ruffled Eren's hair. "Cheer up little man. You are not losing anything."
His day was saved by Eren smiling up to him. For the first time Levi felt that he could do this. He could live alone and still take part in raising up Eren. The little boy had no idea how much power he had over Levi. He dreaded for the day when Eren would notice.
Levi chuckled to himself. Both boys named Eren could destroy him completely if they so wished. Levi wanted to stay in their good books for the rest of his life. With that thought in mind he decided to turn on his laptop and email the older Eren about some furniture choices he needed some help with.
Chapter 28: I Miss You
Notes:
You know, writing this chapter after having 4 hours of sleep(somewhere between 5 am and 9 am) and then next day staying up till 3 am was not probably a wise idea but... I hope you like it!
Chapter Text
Eren smiled as he read the email filled with pictures and color choices for a double bed.
Pick one.
-Levi
Eren wasn't surprised that Levi wanted every piece of furniture to be new and Eren's input was important or so he had been told. Levi had said to him he would not listen to any whining just because he bought the wrong kind of curtains or something. And so Eren was trying to pick a bed from the choices given to him. The biggest question was, wooden or metal frame?
He covered his face with his hand as he blushed thinking about the pros and cons of the metal frame. He knew it was a lewd choice but since Levi had asked he might just as well give his honest opinion. He picked the picture of the bed he wanted and sent the response. He could imagine the knowing smile on Levi's face when he'd see his choice.
His arm and ribs were almost healed. He would be able to travel in a few weeks and he could not wait to see Levi again. Levi had insisted he would be fully healed before travelling again and knowing how pig-headed the older man could be about such things, Eren obliged.
He chuckled to himself at the thought of being able to test out the new bed by then. He had to admit to himself, he was a pervert. The whole bed issue reminded him of the one time when they were still in Survey Corps and Levi Heichou had tied him down as part of a sex play. Eren shook his head. That night had been memorable.
On an impulse Eren typed another email.
I want to make sure that bed is sturdy enough next time I come over, including the bars.
After hitting send, he closed his email before he wrote anything else. He was frustrated sexually. He now understood why in most cases long distance relationships did not work. He was not going to cheat on Levi but he could understand why someone would. The distance felt long but at times like that he took out a map to put everything back into perspective. In the end they were not that far away from each other. He could catch a plane and be with Levi in matter of hours if he wanted to.
He suddenly realized he didn't have a picture of Levi at all. He hadn't realized to take one. Now he vowed to take one when he saw the man next time. It would help with the yearning he felt in the lonely moments. Eren sighed as his thoughts made him want to call Levi and hear his voice. This separation was hitting him hard today. It had been a month since Levi had left back to London.
A month without the other one's presence and touches was hard for Eren. At the moment he would have done anything to just be able to hear the man talk. He glanced at the clock to see if it was too late to call Levi. He bit his lip as he thought about it. He let out a growl, smacking his hands to his cheeks. If he called Levi now, he'd probably get a hard on just hearing him speak.
Eren grabbed his phone and made the damn call. Damn Levi to hell if he did not pick up.
Levi had quite a surprise waiting for him when he saw Eren calling him. He assumed the brat was calling to complain about the bed choices. He did not expect to hear Eren say, "Say you want me." as the first thing when he answered his phone.
Levi blinked couple of times and asked to make sure he heard right. "Say that again?"
Eren's tone was deep and he emphasized each word. "Say you want me."
Levi had been making a cup of tea when Eren called. He snapped back to reality when he water boiled. "Just a second," He said urgently and he poured the water into the cup. Making his way into the bedroom with haste, he blessed the gods that his son was sleeping soundly in his own room.
"You know I want you, brat," he said, closing the door behind him as he finally answered the needy man on the other end.
Chapter 29: Monster
Notes:
Wow, I cannot believe that I've been writing this for... how many days? I've posted a chapter a day, right? Ok, I think I did post the first few chapters in really short amount of time so, it's been 25 days or so.. omg!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Over the course of the last two weeks Levi had send him emails about various pieces of furniture and this weekend they'd go and pick a suitable couch together. It was the last piece that Levi intended to replace.
So it happened that Levi dragged him out to the nearest store to pick a couch that would fit their tastes.
"Comfort comes first," Eren said.
"It has to look good and be easy to clean," was Levi's opinion.
Eren had a feeling this would be a long day. Levi rejected many of the choices Eren suggested because they were made of the wrong material or didn't come in right color.
"Look at this, no, touch this. This is easy to clean." Eren was getting a bit desperate since nothing seemed to please Levi.
"This is white for god's sake. Every little spot of dirt will be visible. Besides this is too hard, my ass hurts already."
Levi eventually bend to Eren's will that if they found a comfortable and somewhat cleanable couch, they'd take it no matter what color it was, preferable dark of course.
"What about this one?" Eren wiggled on a couch that looked good and was a lot softer than he anticipated.
"You want to suffocate to death?" Levi asked as he sat down as well and found himself almost eaten by the thing.
"Maybe not." Eren looked around. "What about that one over there." He was already walking towards the next one when he heard a cry behind him.
"Wait! Help me out of this monster, Jaeger!"
Eren turned to see Levi struggling with the couch, unable to get up from the soft mess. Eren clapped a hand over his mouth but failed to prevent the laugh. "I'm sorry!" he apologized as he went to pull the shorter man out of the monster's grasp.
"I do not want to know what went through that designer's head when he came up with that horrid thing."
Eren could not still keep the laughs at bay. Levi shot him a murderous look which just made Eren laugh even more. Levi huffed past him on to the couch Eren had pointed out. He sat on it, sulking.
Eren took a moment to get his chuckles under control before sitting down next to the grumpy man. They sat in silence, once in a while Eren letting out a stifled laugh.
"It wasn't that funny."
A huge grin took over Eren's face. "Yes it was! Oh Levi, I'll remember that for the rest of my life. The battle against the monster couch," he announced like a movie title. He saw a smile tugging at Levi's lips but otherwise the guy kept a straight face.
"This one is not so bad," Eren said, changing the subject and getting back on the track.
"Indeed."
"The material is easily cleanable, right?"
"Hmm."
Eren took that 'hmm' as an affirmative. "Then this is a good candidate." Eren wrapped his arm around Levi's shoulder. "You are not really upset, are you?" Eren would have kissed his cheek but Levi was not one for public displays of affection. The older man still refused to answer him. This was the closest they ever came to fighting. They both knew how short life could be so they did not want to waste it fighting about petty things. The fear of losing the other at any given moment taught them that.
"I'll make it up to you at home," Eren whispered into Levi's ear.
"We'll take this one," Levi said immediately, slipping from Eren's hold. Eren did not see his smile as he walked away to find someone to take his order. Eren might not realize he had let Levi have his way so easily.
Notes:
I've been laughing at this ever since I wrote this.. I have no idea where this idea came from.
Chapter 30: The Promise
Notes:
Yay! \o/ it is chapter 30! Little bit of celebration is in order, so enjoy this sweet ass chapter I have planned for a while now.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Saturday evening found the two lovers in bed, wrapped around each other. They had tested the bed out just the way Eren had wanted to. Eren was sated for now and smiled while listening to Levi's heart beat. His head rested on Levi's chest and his arm was wrapped around the man's waist. He wanted to stay here forever, not think about tomorrow and the flight back to Germany. It would be another month until they saw each other again.
Levi's fingers were in Eren's hair, moving about slowly and gently. "Hey, Eren?"
Eren tilted his head to look at Levi's face. "What?"
"I've been thinking.." Levi hesitated and Eren could hear his pulse rising.
Eren could swear Levi was nervous. "That's nothing new," he said, smiling.
"Shut up," Levi said gently. "I want to know what are your plans for the future?"
"I don't know. What do you mean?"
"Didn't you have anything you wanted to do before we met? A place you wanted to visit? A job you wanted to get? Anything."
Eren gave it a thought, trying to remember what could have been important before he found Levi again. "I've always wanted to travel the world. See places we never had the chance before, you know."
"Yeah, that would be nice."
Suddenly Levi's hand froze in his hair and he stiffened all over. "What's wrong?" Eren asked as he got worried. He would have never thought to hear the next words escape the man's lips.
"What about marriage?"
Eren was stunned. "What?"
Eren saw Levi try to choose his next words carefully. "I mean would you like to?"
"Are you proposing to me?" Eren was, mildly put, surprised.
"Might as well," Levi said as he flipped Eren on his back, looming over him. "Eren Jaeger, will you marry me?"
Eren's heart fluttered. He had waited to hear those words for a long time. Not that he really had expected to but somewhere deep down, he had always wished to be in this situation. He was taking a long while to answer and Levi's worry was visible on his face. Eren finally put his worries at rest by answering, "Of course I will, you silly..."
Levi did not listen to what he wanted to say before he sealed the deal with a kiss.
"But can we get married?" Eren asked, getting depressed at the thought of not being able to marry.
"We could always travel somewhere where it is legal or hold an unofficial wedding of our own. It doesn't really matter, it is just a piece of paper anyways."
"It would be nice if it was official though," Eren traced a finger down Levi's face as he contemplated the thought.
"Then that is what you'll get," Levi promised him. They kissed again. "Although it will have to wait a bit."
Eren hummed in agreement. Levi settled his head down on Eren's chest, reversing their earlier position. They fell into a comfortable silence which was broken some time afer by Eren.
"You never told me you spoke French," he said remembering his mother's and Levi's first time meeting each other.
"That's because I'm French, brat. I was born in France."
"Oh," Eren's interest was aroused. "Then how come you live here?"
"I came to study and ended up staying. The bookstore I work for was my first job here and it stuck on me. I saw no reason to leave." Levi pulled the covers a bit higher on his body. "On that note, would you be willing to help me learn some German? I'd love to be able to actually take part in conversation with your mother."
"Really?" Eren sounded excited. "Of course I'll help. She's going to be thrilled. You have no idea how many times I've heard her say 'oh if only I could talk to him'," Eren mimicked his mother's voice horribly.
"You are awful."
"Thank you," Eren said, smiling like the goof that he was.
Notes:
I needed to make a list of things I have to remember to include in this story before the end hits. My memory is so bad, notes ftw.
I have not even started the next chapter because when I was supposed to someone said something to me that just depressed the hell out of me and... I'll pull it out of my ass later tonight, maybe..
Chapter 31: Uncertainty
Notes:
While playing World of Warcraft I write … lol I am so dedicated raider, aren't I? I am sure my guild mates would kill me if they knew how much of my focus is on other things. ^^ Anyways here we go with a new chapter and so worth. I know how this all ends but there is quite a journey ahead to reach it. :D
Eren being Eren in this chapter.. haha! (And I did pull this out of my ass.. xD)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Eren was furiously cleaning the apartment he shared with two other university students. Levi would be arriving soon, that being three hours before Eren needed to be at the airport, and everything had to be ready. Eren sighed as he looked at the kitchen which was a mess. His two lovely roommates were total slobs and at this very moment he hated their guts. He might end up hitting them if they showed their faces here any time soon.
Despite the mess Eren smiled as he thought about his lover. No, he corrected himself, Levi was his fiancé. Eren still could not believe it. He would be able to spend the rest of his days with him. He remembered the despair he had felt when he had seen Levi out on the streets of London not so long ago. At the time he had thought that he had no chance to even talk to the man. He had been out of reach, married to someone else and having a family. That was one of the things Eren knew they would never have. He dismissed the sad thought right away.
They were going get married but Eren had no idea what that meant. His father had left when he had been five and he could hardly remember what life had been like back then. He didn't have much of reference to marriage. Was there something he was supposed to do to make it a good one? He bit his lip as he scrubbed away the dirt on the stove. Who ate porridge anyways and how did they get it all over the place!?
At times like these he knew who to ask. His mother. The thing was that he had failed to mention about the engagement to his mother. He knew she would enter a wedding planning frenzy and not possibly listen to what Eren had to say in the matter. He was worried since the wedding was not going to happen until Levi's divorce was finalized and even then he wasn't sure when. He had a bad feeling that something would go wrong if he relaxed too much and let himself be happy. He had gotten used to living like that.
The kitchen started to look clean once again. He opted if he should leave a warning sign with a death threat to his roommates. He sat down on a stool next to the counter, going through a list of things that still needed to be done. He glanced at the clock on the wall, he had two hours. He gave the kitchen one more sweeping gaze before going back to his room. The room was small but enough for him. He didn't need much aside from a bed, desk and a closet for clothes. He did had a small bookshelf but it was half empty.
He changed the sheets, putting them into the empty laundry basket. He took out an extra pillow and covers for Levi. He did have a spare mattress but he had a feeling they would not need it. Besides he would not want to miss this chance to cuddle as much as possible. They had been separated for a month once again. This was an agreement on both of their part that they'd meet once a month unless either one of them had a longer free period. Christmas was approaching fast, only a few months away and Eren had decided to spend it with Levi in London. Then the next longer period would be Eren's summer holiday.
One more time he checked everything and came to the conclusion he had remembered to do everything else but shopping. He would kill two birds with one stone if he went shopping with Levi. That man had odd tastes for some things and Eren knew he didn't have the right kind of tea for him in any case.
He spent the remaining two hours organizing small things that Levi would not even see or know about. Once he started cleaning, it was hard to stop until everything was in order. He could only blame Levi for it. With a smile on his face Eren left to pick up his dear fiancé from the airport.
Notes:
I suddenly realized I forgot to add one line in chap 30.. ooops.. I must write a note to put it in somewhere else... Anyway once again I wanna thank you guys for your support and interest in reading this story. I've not decided will I include the wedding in this story or not cos I suck at writing such happy events anyways. Let's see what do I have on my list next... Oh yes! Next chapter going to be fun :) (How would I know when I have not written a word for it yet? Hah!)
Well might just as well write it now then!
Chapter 32: Inspection
Notes:
Hehehe, I'm sorry this is late today.. I kinda forgot the time while writing a sequel for Truth or Dare :P (and yes, it is almost complete but.. I cannot promise smut because my muse is being stingy! He keeps saying, “No, go home!” .. But I promise it (will or) should be worth it anyways)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Oi,” Levi called out to Eren his head peeking from behind a shelf of food in the local supermarket. “I found it. Let's go.” They had been looking for some honey which Levi loved to have with his tea in the morning and only then. He never put honey into his tea at any other time of the day.
Levi paid for the food because according to him he simply could not make Eren pay for his special honey. Besides Eren would be in charge of the cooking so it was the least he could do. Eren had learned not to argue. The last thing he wanted was a sulking and grumpy man in the same bed.
“Hmmm.” Levi was looking around the apartment with critical eye and Eren was sweating nervously by the door to his room. He was waiting for the verdict as Levi inspected his cleaning.
“What's this?” Levi's voice came from the bathroom.
Eren's heart sank to the pit of his stomach. Had he forgotten to clean a spot? Eren walked slowly to look into the bathroom to see what Levi meant. He let out a breath of relief as he saw it was not something he had done.
Levi was holding the shower curtain that had pictures of little princesses printed on it between two fingers carefully. “Who the hell bought this? Don't tell me it was you.”
Eren chuckled. “No, it was already here when I moved in. I am not sure who chose it. No one has admitted to buying it yet.”
“We could buy a new one,” Levi suggested. “But I do not want to destroy someone's jerking material by accident.”
Eren relaxed, leaning on the door frame. “So is this place clean enough for you?”
Levi gave him an Are-You-Kidding-Me look. “Eren, you didn't have to wash everything. I could have survived without you rinsing the ceiling as well.”
Eren shrugged. “I had to make sure. What's done's done.”
“You are honestly an idiot, you know that?” Levi walked up to him, giving him a light kiss on the lips.
“If you say so.”
Later that evening Levi surprised Eren by asking if there was anywhere they could go for a few drinks.
“Are you serious?” Eren asked confused by the sudden request.
“Why not. We could loosen up a bit once in a while. I've seen my fair share of parties too, you know.”
“But are you sure?”
“Is this a subtle way to say I'm too old for a club?”
“No!” Eren hurried to say. “I just don't see you as a person who'd go to a club or a bar to be honest.”
“Well time to be amazed then, Jaeger.”
“I am.”
“Good. On a second thought let's go to a gay bar so we won't be scarring anyone for life.”
Eren laughed. “Yeah probably for the best. Let me check,” he said as he quickly did a search for the nearest gay club. He found a club called Clock of Candy that was just in the city center.
In the meanwhile Levi had changed his casual T-shirt to a dark forest green collared shirt that was a bit more suitable for the club in his opinion. “Change those jeans into these ones,” Levi said, throwing Eren a pair of jeans that would be a bit more snug on him than the ones he was currently wearing. Levi picked him a tank top to wear that would be hugging his body just in the right way.
Eren looked from the choice of his clothes to Levi with a suspicious look. “Are you trying to show me off or something?”
“Maybe,” was Levi's answer. “You are not leaving my side tonight, is that clear?”
“Yes, sir.” Eren grinned from ear to ear and changed his clothes.
Notes:
Ok, these guys just got out of hand. This chapter was supposed to be something completely different but... oh well, tomorrow then!
Chapter 33: Just This Once
Notes:
So finally we get back on track! I had to spank these boys for side tracking the story...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Eren woke up in one of the weirdest positions ever in his life. His head was on Levi's thighs while he could feel Levi's hair tickling his shins. He had no idea how on earth they ended up sleeping like this. He listened to Levi's soft snoring and didn't dare to move yet. The night out in the club had been an interesting one. Levi had been giving death glares to anyone who dared to even look at Eren's direction. He had been holding Eren close to him, hand in the back pocket of his jeans at all times, to tell everyone who owned that piece of ass.
Eren wanted to giggle at the memory but if he did, there would be a risk of waking the possesive man. The night had been nice. For once they had been able to kiss and touch each other in an affectionate way without anyone judging them silently with their stares. If anything, Eren had seen a few envious glances send their way.
They had drank only a few shots and beers, nothing to get hung over and boy was Eren glad for it. Levi had practically dragged Eren home at the speed of light once he got extremely horny. Eren had not complained and he hoped his roommates would not either. They might have been just a little bit too loud. Levi seemed to get more vocal when he was drunk as Eren had come to notice.
It was embarrassing now that the sun was up and the alcohol almost gone from his system. Eren was sure he would have to apologize to the two other guys living in the apartment. If they did not already know he was gay, now they surely did.
Eren heard Levi mumble something and groan. Levi smacked couple of times, making noises that clearly were meant to express his disgust.
"Good morning?" Eren offered from the other end of the bed.
Levi lifted his head to look for where the sound came. "What are you doing there?"
"Sleeping?"
"Hmm." Levi sat up, arching his back and stretching his arms. "I'll go make tea," he said as he gently pulled his legs from under Eren's head. "Get dressed. We are going out as soon as possible."
"Ok," Eren watched as Levi got up and searched for something to wear.
"Do I make you a cup as well?"
Eren smiled as he stretched as well. "Yeah, can't hurt."
After Levi got dressed he went to the kitchen to make the most important cup of his day. As he waited for the water the boil one of Eren's roommates walked in or so he assumed.
The young man greeted him, "Guten Morgen." and went ahead to the fridge to get a disgusting looking sandwich.
Out of courtesy Levi answer him, "Good morning."
The young man eyed him for a second or two. "You were too loud," he said with a German accent.
"Sorry."
"Are you Eren's boyfriend?"
"Fiancé."
"Wow," the young German said eyes wide.
At that moment Eren chose to walk in. He saw the two men looking at each other in silence. "Is something wrong?"
"No," Levi said as he took the kettle of the stove and poured the water into two cups. "He complained about the noise we made."
"It's cool," Eren's roommate said. "I'm just surprised."
Eren had the decency to blush. "Sorry."
Eren's roommate looked between Eren and Levi before taking a can of juice out of the fridge and leaving them alone.
"Charming fellow," Levi commented dryly.
"We don't talk much. I hardly spent any time with them. I think his name is Anselm or something. I'm not sure, to be honest."
Levi smiled at him as he placed the two cups on the kitchen table. "I got a surprise for you today."
Eren's eyes brightened tremendously. "Really?"
"Yes, so drink your tea and we'll go get it."
As it turned out Levi led Eren into a jewelery shop. "You are missing something I should have given you a long time ago."
Eren couldn't say anything, he just stared at Levi pouring all his love into that gaze. Levi took his hand and pulled him over to where the rings were. "Pick the one you like."
Eren found his voice and asked softly, "Don't you need one as well?"
"I'll accept any that you choose for yourself."
"But.." He was silenced by Levi's fore finger on his lips.
"No buts, humor me."
"Alright, just this once."
Notes:
Now we are where we should be. Next chapter will feature Eren's mother. She needs to hear about this engagement. But now I need sleep.. yes sleep Zzzzzzz... I guess staying up for 6 hours is enough?
Chapter 34: Mother Knows Best
Chapter Text
Once Levi had returned to London, Eren had been left with the task of picking up the rings once they were ready. They had decided that have engravings on the inside of the rings, the date they had gotten engaged and each others names. Eren kept looking at the ring on his ring finger once in a while as if it might suddenly disappear and he would wake up to realize this all was still a dream. The ring was not a traditional golden band. Eren had wanted something else that would somehow represent their union and thus he had chosen a design with two bands, golden and silver, woven around each other on the surface of the ring. The ring represented their fates, forever co-existing and interwoven in an endless loop. That was what Eren hoped for at least. The thought made him want to ask Levi if he thought they would be reborn again in the future.
He kept Levi's version on a necklace around his neck. He would give it to him once he visited London the next time. That reminded him of the conversation they had before Levi left. Eren had been worried what Levi's son would think if Levi suddenly started to wear a ring again for no apparent reason. Levi had gone to buy the necklace the next day and told Eren that he would not wear the ring on his finger until they got married.
Eren understood that Levi did not want to upset his son yet with news that he was going to marry someone else. Levi was being too overprotective in Eren's opinion but the little boy was not his child so he let Levi handle him the way he wanted. Eren shook his head, the little boy might surprise them one day by knowing exactly what was going on. They could only hope for a peaceful resolution.
Eren took a deep breath as he stopped at the front door of his childhood home. Now was the time to tell his mother that he would be getting married at some point during the upcoming years.
"I'm home!" He called out as he walked over the threshold in to the warm house.
"Eren!" his mother greeted him brightly, rushing to hug and kiss him on both cheeks. "I hope you are hungry. The food is almost ready."
He smiled at her, hugging her back. "Yes, of course I am hungry."
"That's my boy," she said affectionately. She picked up on his mood right away, giving him a calculating look. "Are you hiding something from me?"
Eren hold out his left hand in front of his face. "Kind of," he said, bracing himself for the onslaught.
Carla squealed, hugging all air out of him. "That is wonderful!" Once she released him she asked, "When's the wedding? Don't tell me you got married behind my back." She was horrified by the thought of it.
"No, I did not."
"Hmm?" she looked at him questioningly. "Eren," she started but changed her mind about what she was going to say. "Come sit in the living room and we'll talk."
Eren nodded, taking his coat off. He needed this talk they were going to have. He followed his mother to the living room.
She patted the couch besides her. "Now tell me what is wrong with my baby boy."
"Mum," he snorted but she only smiled at him. He looked down at his hands. "I'm selfish."
"How's so?"
"Because I'm forcing him to be with me. I could have walked away when I first saw he had a son. This is not about us anymore, there is someone else we are hurting and I hate that," he blurted out his insecurities. "I love him."
"But?"
He looked at his mother with anxiety filled eyes. "What if he comes to regret this? What if I make his son hate him? What if I ruin everything?"
"Eren," Carla's voice was soft but commanding. "You are being silly."
"But I don't know anything about marriage. Am I supposed to do something differently once we get married?" He was rambling and his mother was letting him. "How will I know if he really is happy with me?" He fell silent, feeling better at letting it all out.
Carla placed a hand on his shoulder. "Listen, Eren," she said. "You are marrying him to make him happy and he would not marry you if he thought he could not make you happy too. It might be a struggle but I'm sure things with his son will work out in the end."
He offered her a sheepish smile. "I don't know, mum."
"Of course you don't. You have to figure and find out these things on your own. In this case you have Levi to help you. You are not alone." She squeezed his shoulder gently. "What comes to marriage I think I could give you an advice or two."
Eren's eyes brightened as he eagerly waited to hear what Carla would say.
"Only thing you need to do is love him."
Eren sighed. "And here I thought you'd say something that actually would be useful."
Carla slapped him on the shoulder. "Never say that loving someone is not useful!"
Eren rubbed his shoulder as if the hit had actually hurt. "Ok, I won't."
"But seriously speaking," Carla said, taking Eren's hands in hers. "Marriage is all about the other person. You are marrying him to make him happy, not yourself. You don't have to change at all because you are getting married to him. He is obviously marrying you because he loves you just the way you are. Just continue being yourself for the rest of your life and you make him the happiest person on the face of the earth."
Eren pulled his mother into a tight hug. "Thanks, mum."
"You're welcome, darling, and don't forget to send me that wedding invitation."
Notes:
I actually looked through hundreds of ring designs and found so few of the one I wanted. (I am just happy no one saw me do this, explaining why I am looking at engagement rings would have been just worrisome.) This chapter turned out to be longer than it should have, hehe.
Chapter 35: Christmas Plans
Notes:
I am suffering horribly! My legs are burning... Oh the pain when I get up or try to reach something up from the floor. Damn stupid pieces of flesh, how I hate you! I had these weird thoughts today that if I had to run away from someone at this very moment, I'd collapse and I'd have to accept the fact that I am going to die. XD
Sorry again this taking so long... as I said, I have been suffering and it didn't help my mood at all.
Chapter Text
"What about this one?"
Eren took the German text book from Levi's hands. "Hmm." He flipped the pages as he assessed if it was any good. "This seems pretty decent. Only thing you need is a good dictionary."
Levi was taking learning German seriously. He would do some studying on his free time which mostly meant he would be studying while working too. In the future he might even go to a course for more advanced stuff. He trusted Eren to teach him too though. All in all Levi expected to have no problems with it. After all, all he needed was to learn to have some casual conversation. Most part of the learning would be the huge vocabulary.
Eren fidgeted nervously next to him. "You know that Christmas is just a month away..."
"Yeah?" What could Eren possibly be thinking this time?
"Is there anything you'd want as a present?"
Levi thought about it for a moment but nothing came to his mind. "No."
"But..."
"Eren, honestly. Having you with me for two weeks is more than any present you give me." The words may have come out too harshly when he meant them to be kind of romantic.
"I just wanted to give you something you'd actually like." Eren was looking down on his feet, looking rather miserable.
Guilt stomped inside his heart. "Look," he said. "It is not important to me but if you really want to get me a present then anything is fine. You cannot destroy my Christmas with anything you can afford."
Eren laughed and Levi could not help but smile.
"Is your birthday still on Christmas as well?" Eren asked him.
"I am surprised you remembered and here I was hoping you'd forgotten about it." He hated his birthday. It had always been awkward time of the year. No one ever knew if they were supposed to buy him two gifts or was just one enough. That included his parents.
Eren was smirking at him. "Then I know what I'll give you as a present."
Did the damn brat just wink at him?
"Is it ok for me to spent my money on your son then?" Eren changed the subject as if nothing had happened.
Levi raised his eyebrows in wonderment. "Yeah, I suppose so. Don't spoil him too much, please."
"Oh my god, I never knew the day would come that I hear you using that word."
"What?"
"Please."
Levi game Eren a murderous glare. He briefly wondered why he put up with him in the first place. "Take a hint. I said it on purpose to emphasize how much I meant what I said."
Eren just chuckled at what he said clearly not taking him seriously. Levi picked up two books, one dictionary and one phrase book.
Eren spoke again when they were nearing the cashier. "Is he going to spend Christmas with his mother?"
"Yes. He'll be with us for the New Years though."
Eren nodded and what Levi would call a lewd smile spread on his face. "Then I have you all for myself for a whole week?"
Levi was not sure if he wanted to answer that in front of the cashier lady. "Yes," he said.
"Awesome," Eren said, grinning from ear to ear.
Why did Levi have a feeling the week with Eren alone might not be as relaxing as he had first thought it would be. The brat had too much energy for a human being. Levi's idea of a holiday meant peace and quiet while drinking his favourite tea but for Eren it meant pestering Levi until he did as the brat wanted. If those lewd smiles and winks were anything to go by, Eren was planning something that might be actually enjoyable way to spend the week.
Levi was a bit worried how Eren's idea of a present fit into this equation. He cursed at Eren silently in his thoughts. Now he would spend a month trying to figure out what the young man had in mind.
Chapter 36: Careful Not To...
Notes:
I had quite a scare today. One of my hard drives, that has the operating system on it, went bonkers. For a few minutes I thought it was broken but phew it probably just clitched. Maybe I should put some money aside just in case it does go BOOM one day. The good thing is that I have all my other data on 2 additional Hard drives so even if my PC would fall victim to that one drive breaking, I could just take my little babies out and plug them in my old PC (I have 3 drives just because of this precaution. I think I was right not to trust that OS drive at all muhahaha)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Daddy?"
"Hmm?" Levi was washing his son's hair, gently scrubbing his scalp with his fingers. They were sitting in a bathtub. Eren loved to have lots of foam on the water but it had already disappeared and that had meant the end for his playing. It was a rule Levi had with his son, when the foam was gone it was time to wash up.
"Why do you have a ring on your neck?"
Shit, Levi cursed. He had forgotten the necklace around his neck. He usually took it off but this time he had forgotten and of course the little rascal noticed right away. "It's a special ring," he said, trying to come up with a good enough explanation that would distract the kid. Levi reached for ladle to rinse most of the shampoo out of the boy's hair.
Eren closed his eyes and hold his nose between his small fingers as Levi poured water over his head. The little boy spluttered on purpose. Levi allowed this childish spit spraying only when they were washing. He knew he was sometimes too strict about cleanliness so he let his son enjoy the moments when he could not reprimand him about making a mess.
Eren's next question caught him off-guard. "Why is it the same as Uncle Eren's?"
Levi's eyes widened for a second or two. He almost shook his head to get it back in order again. How on earth was this kid so observant? Levi reached for a sponge, dipping it in the water he gave it to Eren. "Wash my back."
The little boy happily fulfilled his mission as soon as Levi turned his back to him.
"Uncle Eren has a ring?" Levi decided to try a tactic of feigning ignorance.
"He said he was getting married," the little boy answered, carefully moving the sponge up and down on his father's back with all the strength he had.
"He did?" When did those two talk about this?
"He didn't know when. How is that possible?" the little boy wondered out loud.
"He is engaged. It means he has promised to marry the person but in his case they have not decided when."
Eren was silent as he finished his task with care. "Done," he said, letting the sponge float on the water.
Levi turned back to face his son, nudging him to turn around. "It's my turn."
Eren seemed to be deep in thought as Levi washed his small back. It didn't take long but he made sure he was careful but thorough.
Eren's hesitant voice broke the silence. "Will mummy get married again?"
Levi took the ladle again and poured the now luke warm water over Eren's back. "She might. Are you scared?"
"Yes," the little boy said.
"Why?" Levi pulled the plug to let the water drain out of the tub slowly.
"What if she doesn't love me anymore?"
"That's ridiculous, Eren. That is crazy talk." He grimaced as he noticed how he started to sound like his own late mother.
"But, Daddy.."
Levi interrupted the little boy's desperate cry. "You are being silly," he said and pulled the boy into a hug. "She will love you forever." He placed a kiss on top of his wet hair. "Even when you are as old as me and no other man can change that. Even if she gets married again you'll be most important person in her life."
Eren calmed down, tilting his head to look at his father's face. "Will you get married again?"
Levi opted to say no but he hated lying almost as much as dirt. "Yes, I will."
"How do you know?"
"Because there is someone I love enough to marry them."
Eren looked thoughtful for a moment. "Is it Uncle Eren? Is that why your ring looks the same?"
"Did Uncle Eren say something to you?"
The little boy hummed as he tried to remember if Uncle Eren had said anything. "No, he just said the same thing as you."
"Hmm," Levi thought about the best way to go about this. Should he just blurt it out since the kid had already pretty much guessed what was going on? "What do you think of Uncle Eren?"
"He's nice," the little boy said. "And we have the same name so he can't be bad."
Levi chuckled. It was better let Eren think so than go and correct him. "Would it be bad if Uncle Eren married me?"
"Would he move in here then?"
"Yes, of course he would."
"He won't take my room away from me?"
"No, he stays with me in mine." Levi smiled at the adorable fear Eren had.
"Just like you and Mummy did?"
"Yes, just like that."
"Then it's ok."
Levi smiled, kissing the top of his head again. "Good. Now let's shower and get out of here before we freeze to death."
Notes:
ARGH What is wrong with me! Writing these mushy chapters all the time! I gotta stop. And my legs still hurt... argh! I'll be fine tomorrow, yes I will. Then I can walk like a normal human being and stop crawling my way everywhere.
Chapter 37: Let It Snow
Summary:
Levi receives his present.
Chapter Text
Eren hummed a cheesy Christmas song all day from Hamburg to London and beyond. It irked Levi so much that after an hour or two he finally snapped and told him to shut up or he would feed him the fake little Christmas tree that sat on the coffee table in the living room.
"Sorry mister Grumpy if I'm excited."
"There is nothing wrong with that just don't sing that damn awful song all day."
"I heard it in the morning and it stuck! I'm sorry." The way Eren was grinning clearly meant he was not sorry at all.
There was silence for a few moments until Eren started humming something else which morphed into the same Christmas song he had been humming earlier. "I'm sorry I just can't help it," he said as he received a deadly glare from Levi. "By the way," Eren began to say in seemingly harmless way. "Have you made any plans for the 25th?"
Levi eyed him carefully. "No," he said. His interest was aroused because he had been dying to know what Eren was planning. Not that he would ever tell him though.
"Good. Lena and Eren come visit at some point on 25th?"
"Yes, they will." Levi almost dropped the conversation there but then a thought occurred to him and he decided to ask, "Do you need to know exactly when?"
"No," Eren said too quickly.
Eren was obviously hiding something. What could it be?
Levi could only guess what Eren had in store for him as the days rolled by. Eren had arrived on the 21st which left him alone during the days until Christmas Eve. Levi would not have to work until after New Years. They had recently hired a very eager young student who had been more than happy to work during the days between Christmas and New Years. Levi was sure it was the bonus the young man would get from it that motivated him.
Either way, Levi was more than happy to spend all his time with Eren and his son. His son would join them on 29th and since Levi had to go to work after New Years, the little boy would be left alone with Eren during daytime. Levi usually took his son with him to work but this time around Eren had suggested that he could take care of him and Levi had seen no reason to object. The two brats got along well enough. He was sure there would be no problems.
But as the morning of 25th came he forgot all his problems. He woke up to notice that Eren was not sleeping next to him as he usually did. Eren loved to sleep as long as he could in the morning so where was he now? His question was answered when Eren walked in with a tray in his hands. Levi hardly noticed the tea because he was staring wide-eyed at Eren.
Levi's breath was stuck in his throat for a moment. This was not what he had thought would happen in million years.
Eren set the tray down in front of Levi. "Drink it when it is still hot, sir."
"Eren, what in the world.." Levi managed to say as he looked at the attire Eren was wearing. Levi looked at the white jeans, boots, belts around his body, white shirt, and brown jacket which even had the emblem of the Survey Corps on it. "How did you.." he still didn't manage to ask anything properly as he stared at Eren.
"A friend of mine is into cosplay and makes her own outfits. I gave her instructions and she made it." Eren walked over to the foot of the bed, taking a suit bag out of the closet. He laid it on the bed and said, "Once you've drunk your tea, put this on. We leave in half an hour."
"Leave where?" Levi asked still shocked.
"You'll see," Eren winked at him and left the bedroom.
It took a few minutes for Levi to function properly again. The tea was delicious but his mind was racing as he looked at the suit bag at the end of the bed. It couldn't be, could it? Damn brat had caught him by surprise with this. He quickly drank the tea and put the tray away as he scrambled over to the suit bag. He pulled each garment out of it with care. They were almost the same as the originals. So many emotions swelled inside him as he changed into the military attire.
Levi glanced at the clock to see he had to hurry. He walked over to the only mirror in the apartment which was in the entrance hall. He fixed his cravat around his neck and saw Eren looking at him.
"Looking good, Heichou," Eren said.
"Damn brat." Once he was finished he took a look at himself in the mirror. Eren came to stand beside him. "I don't know what to say," Levi admitted.
Eren smiled. "Roleplay with me today?"
Levi looked at Eren via the mirror. "Sure, why not."
"It's time to go, Heichou." Eren waited until Levi started walking before moving just a step behind him.
As they stepped outside Levi came to sudden halt. "You got to be kidding me," he said under his breath as he saw a horse carriage waiting for them. Without even bothering to ask about it got on it. Eren had picked a closed type carriage to transport them to, where, Levi did not know. Traffic was luckily scarce.
"After this is over, you'll tell me in detail how you pulled this off," Levi told his grinning fiancé.
"Of course, sir."
After twenty minutes they arrived to what seemed to be stables. "You are insane," Levi said as he followed Eren into a riding hall.
Eren smiled brightly at him. When would that idiot stop smiling? They stopped next to a woman holding two horses. Eren quickly talked with her and thanked her. Levi was trying to comprehend the situation as in how the brat had managed to make this all happen on a Christmas day no less.
Levi stopped the woman before she left. "I want to thank you as well. I'm sorry if that brat has caused you unnecessary trouble."
The woman smiled at him. "It's no trouble. I hope you enjoy your birthday, sir," she said and went to sit near the door, staying just in case they needed any help.
"Er-," Levi bit his lip quickly as he corrected himself. "Jaeger."
"Yes, sir?" Eren stood by with the two horses.
Levi took one of them from him, petting it gently. "Thank you," he said quietly, not even looking at Eren but he knew the brat heard him.
As Eren mounted his horse he said, "We got an hour before we need to head back."
"Alright." Levi got on the horse. He had not rode a horse since he was a little kid. His mother had taken him to the local stables once in a while but he had not continued it as a hobby. Now he wondered why because it felt good to be on a horse once again. He missed the feeling of freedom that galloping offered him. As they rode, his mind was filled with memories and he hardly noticed the time pass.
An hour later they rode the horse carriage back to Levi's. Levi didn't say anything during the trip back, he clutched Eren's hand in his the whole time. How could he possibly tell him how much this had meant to him? He assumed the boy already knew either way even if he found the words to tell him.
Back at home Levi stopped Eren from entering the apartment any further. "Take your boots off. I don't want horse shit all over the place."
Eren complied, trying to hold back a smirk. "You know, we stink of horses so maybe we should get out of these outfits."
Levi glanced at the clock, they still had plenty of time before Lena would be arriving with little Eren. "You are right about the smell," Levi said, taking a slow step towards Eren. "What if you go and draw a bath for us then?"
Eren almost jumped into action. "On it, sir!"
Levi had just enough time to slap his ass.
"Heichou!" Eren exclaimed, hands over his hurt butt.
"When the water is running, come and help me take these clothes off," Levi said, winking at Eren.
"Yes, sir," Eren answered a light blush on his cheeks and made his way into the bathroom.
Levi watched him go as he himself walked into their bedroom. This had to be the best birthday of his yet and the day had just begun.
Notes:
This chapter in its entirety came to me last night. I was thinking how people expect Eren to be a god damn slut and wear a maid outift... and thinking about stockings led to SNK cosplay... how is that possible? :D:D
But I hope I managed to surprise somebody with this at least :P
Chapter 38: Apple-Cinnamon Cider
Notes:
Since the previous chapter was so long I took my time with this one, meaning I did not hurry at all. And I ran into a personal problem called my F#¤%ING anxiety problem.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Levi was sipping on a cupful of hot apple-cinnamon cider, it was the only thing he liked about Christmas. Ok, maybe he was lying when he thought of that. He now had more than one reason to like Christmas and both of them were named Eren. His son's joyous face was a sight to see as the child's eyes danced with mirth. Then there was Eren, his lover, who was happily humming along with the radio, doing this and that around the house.
As of now Eren was helping Lena in the kitchen with the dinner. Lena and Levi's son had arrived couple of hours ago and they were going to have a family dinner. Eren walked into the living room to join Levi on the couch.
"She drove me out," he said. "Apparently I do not know how to stir a sauce correctly."
"Sounds about right," Levi responded, his hands around the warm cup as he breathed in the lovely scent of the drink.
"Or she is striving for perfection on a level I cannot fathom."
"Could be that too," Levi chuckled as he remembered how he had been chased out of the kitchen in the past many times too.
Eren watched him in silence and it was becoming a bit unnerving how the brat kept track of his every breath.
"You put it on your finger?" Eren suddenly asked.
"Hmm?" It took a second for him to realize Eren meant the ring. "Yes."
"So Eren knows?" Eren asked carefully.
"Yes. He asked about it and I did not want to lie to him when he obviously had noticed what was going on."
Eren nodded and they sat in comfortable silence. Eren nudged a bit closer, careful not to make Levi spill his drink, so that their shoulders touched and leaned against him gently. Levi had to lean against him as well, not to lose his balance. Damn brat.
Eren sighed, letting his head fall back against the couch. The silence and warmth of the room, the peaceful atmosphere around the house, everything was as it should be. Levi was with him and he felt that this was where he belonged. Levi set his mug down and Eren reached for his now free hand, intertwining their fingers.
Levi said nothing nor did nothing, letting him do as he pleased. Only little thing that was annoying Eren was Lena. He did like her, she was a sweet person and he felt they could be good friends but today and at this very moment he wanted her gone. He knew he was selfish and he felt disgusted by it. He knew how important such holidays as Christmas were for families. He missed his own mother and regretted for a moment not inviting her as well.
He looked at Levi, pressing his face into his hair and took a deep breath. He felt Levi stiffen and it was not a good sign. Eren knew Levi would push him away in a heart beat if his son walked into to room. This made him wonder if Levi and Lena had ever shared moments like these. She had been married to Levi for several years and known him even for longer. Levi had said there was deep caring on his part but no romantic love.
Eren still felt jealous. She had shared things he could never share with Levi even if he wanted to. He'd never be able to see his face when his son was born, at least not in a way Lena had.
"I'm holding you back."
Levi's voice was filled with confusion. "What?"
"You have a family and I came to tear it apart. I know you would have been happy living with Lena for the rest of your life."
"Eren, stop. That is not getting you anywhere."
"But it's the truth," Eren said matter-of-factly. "If I had never let you know how I felt, you would have lived happily in this life with your family."
"And you would have still seen me on the street with them. Would you have been happy then too?"
"I don't matter."
"Of course you do. Don't dare say that again." Levi grasped their joined hands with his other one. "If our roles were reversed, I would have gotten involved in your life somehow just to see if you were truly happy, to see if I'd have a chance to steal you away. I'd do it because I'm selfish when it comes to things I want."
Eren fell silent. He did not want to continue this conversation he had started. He knew Levi meant what he said. He could imagine it, himself with a family and Levi appearing out of nowhere to talk to him and running into him from time to time on accident. Levi "just being in the neighbourhood" to see how he was doing and how the kids were.
"Do you think we will be reborn again?"
The question caught Levi off guard. "Maybe we will, who knows."
"If we do, we could decide here and now where to meet in the future so that we could find each other again."
"It might take centuries for us to be reborn."
"I know but we could at least try, right?"
"I suppose," Levi said, giving the idea some thought.
Lena's voice coming from the kitchen interrupted their conversation, "Dinner's ready boys!"
Eren noticed Lena looking at their hands when they were eating. She had noticed the rings. At the same time Eren felt smug and guilty about it. He let the smugness win this time. He kept on smiling as they ate the delicious food. It had been a good idea for him not to get involved. He might have ruined the precious sauce that they had with the pork. Meat always reminded him of Sasha and her drooling. He was swimming in memories, happy ones. He missed his squad friends. He missed them all which made him appreciate the presence of Levi even more. How he had this second chance with him.
Eren was happy for Lena. She would never have to live through what he had, watching his mother being eaten, friends dying left and right. She would never experience such despair. Levi would never be as much of a hero to her as he was for Eren. Levi would never have such an impact on her life as he had on Eren's. She would get over him, Eren never would and he'd never have to.
Notes:
Btw, this chapter was shit. And I have no idea what people eat at xmas so don't get all zealous about it, please? I beg you!
Anyways, I'll get back on track tomorrow.. maybe I dunno. I have to decide if I wanna socialize or not and it could go well or go badly. I'm gonna need a killer playlist for it or I'm gonna die. Yes, I'm a dick who listens to music even when talking to other people. I've been doing it for … 11 years and now it's a habit I cannot break. I feel naked without my headphones in company of others.
Chapter 39: Pictures
Notes:
I just spent 6 hours in a room full of people and not saying more than a few words when really needed to like when asked "Is this seat taken?" I'd say "No." :D:D I am such a social butterfly... And I ended up watching Doctor Who, which I don't know anything about so I was completely lost as what was going on and I went deaf with the fangirls squealing next to me. So I guess that episode was important one?
Chapter Text
"What are you guys doing?"
Eren stood at the door way to the living room at his mother's house. Levi and Carla were sitting on the floor, going through photo albums.
"Baby pictures!" Carla exclaimed, excited as she cooed over the pictures.
"What?!" Eren panicked. "Why are you showing him my baby pictures?"
"Because he said he wanted to see them," Carla sounded offended that Eren thought she would show them to Levi without being asked.
"He.. you!" Eren looked between his mother and Levi. "You learned German to ask this?"
"No," Levi simply answered as he was peering over the picture of cute little Eren Jaeger. "I wanted to see if she would understand what I meant. Besides, looking at these is fun."
"Fun?! No, it is not fun. Stop looking at those embarrassing things."
"Eren," his mother spoke up. "Stop overreacting and come take a look. You are so cute in these. Ah, it feels like it was yesterday when you were this small."
Eren let out a frustrated growl, walking away. He'd let them have their fun alone. He didn't want to hear his mother giggle and show Levi those thing. He didn't need to see it. He grabbed his coat and went for a walk.
In the meanwhile Levi was having fun in a weird way as he looked through the albums with Carla. She was talking to him animatedly and he could pick out a word here or there. Most of the words still just flowing in and out of his ears leaving no understanding behind them. She was most likely telling him how he got into this and that situation that the pictures indicated. The amount of pictures clearly told him how much she adored her son.
He felt a bang of guilt as he realized he had not been taking enough pictures of his own son. Then he realized he hadn't taken a picture of his fiancé either. He needed to change that. He wanted to have an album like Carla had that he could go over later in life and remember the moments as they were happening at that very moment.
He interrupted Carla to tell her that he did not understand all she said. Carla just smiled at him, patting his shoulder. She continued her stories nevertheless. He noticed there was a distant look in her eyes whenever she mentioned Eren's father. Still her words had warmth in them that she would not have if she hated him. Levi wanted to ask but he did not know how. He could try asking Eren but he was not sure he would know what he wanted to find out.
In the end it did not matter. It wouldn't matter as long as it did not affect Eren but he knew it did. Eren had more than once mentioned that he felt guilty over separating his family and he'd probably harbour that guilt and regret for the rest of his life. That did not sit well with Levi. He wanted Eren to be more selfish. Things would work out for them if the young man would just let them to.
Eren was stubborn, hard-headed and would not see reason so easily. Maybe he needed to headbutt Eren to make him realize things. He chuckled and caught Carla's attention. He dismissed it with a wave and she smiled knowingly as if she knew what he was thinking about. Carla left him alone with the albums and he flipped through them to find the more recent pictures.
He paused at the very end of the album. He had not realized he had been immortalized in some of them as well. She had snapped a picture of Eren and him napping on the couch. He remembered that day well. They had been exhausted and fallen asleep on the couch. They had spent a day out in the city, buying stuff Carla had told them to get. He smiled and moved to the next picture. Most of the pictures taken of them were ones where they were either not awake or completely ignoring her.
He heard a snap of a camera. She was doing it again. He turned and saw her with a camera in her hand, smirking as she took another shot. Levi held his hand up in front of his face to tell her that he didn't want to be in another picture. She laughed, turning around as the front door opened at that moment. Eren came back from his walk and still laughing Carla snapped a photo of him too.
"Mum!" Eren's frustrated voice carried over from the entrance hall.
Levi got up from the floor to see Eren look irritated with his mother taking picture after picture. He decided to tease Eren a bit, he winked at Carla and walked over to Eren.
"She never stops once she starts mm-mm!" Eren was silenced by Levi kissing him.
Carla squealed and went on a picture-taking frenzy. She immortalized the kiss and the moment Eren pulled away appearing angry but stuck his tongue out at Levi a moment later, both smiling at each other.
These pictures were to be the first ones on the pages of Levi's own photo album.
Chapter 40: Will You Be My Valentine?
Notes:
Yay, chapter number 40! Celebration is in order yes? So why not we have a Valentine's day chapter? Hmm? Time to scratch my head and try to be romantic.. omg. XD Anyway this became so long that I decided to put it in two parts!
Valentine's day is kinda weird thing to write about because I see it as a holiday for friendship rather than some overly sweet lovers party.. xD Sorry for living in a country where we don't celebrate love but friendship. Here in Finland we call it "Friend's Day".
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"Eren," Levi sighed into the phone. "Valentine's day is two weeks away and it's in the middle of the week anyways."
"I know, I know!" Eren cried at the other end. "But.."
"It's just a silly holiday made to get more money out of us poor people."
"Levi," Eren whined. "You really know how to kill my mood."
"Sorry, brat but it's a fact."
"Hmph, Ok, be that way then."
Eren hung up.
Levi blinked.
The brat had hung up on him!
Levi glared at the phone, gripping it with too much force in his hand. Ridiculous Valentine's day and Eren. It was not the phone's fault. He took a deep calming breath, pocketing the phone. Eren would call him soon again once he calmed down. This was such a stupid thing to be upset about. Eren would see that.
Levi sighed again. Maybe he should not have called the holiday silly. He knew how much Eren liked things such as Valentine's day. Eren had been ecstatic about Christmas as well almost driving him nuts with the overflowing cheerfulness. It didn't help that his son had been there, no. The two had giggled and cackled and it had made Levi suspect he had two five-year-olds in his house instead of just one. Although he was pleased to see how the two got on so well. There was nothing to fear on that front.
But now, to the matter at hand, Eren was upset and Levi needed to fix it. Eren was supposed to fly over next week, the weekend before Valentine's day. He needed to make it up to the brat somehow. Valentine's day was about romance, wasn't it? Levi had never had to romance anyone before, not in the form of flowers and chocolate hearts and whatever other crap there was associated with the holiday.
He was happy he had little over a week to figure it all out. But as he came to notice, time goes fast for those who are not waiting for it to pass. There Eren was, switching between TV-channels in the living room on a Friday evening.
Levi had gone through all sorts of plans and thoughts as he tried to think up a way to have an early Valentine's day with the brat. He had come to the conclusion that he needed chocolate, sweet words and flowers, maybe even a fancy dinner. He needed to romance the brat to death and it was not his style. Sometimes you had to do things for others and swallow your own pride while doing it. Ok, maybe this was not that extreme situation but for Levi it could have might as well been.
He was leaning against the doorway to the living room, waiting for Eren to look at him. The brat finally dropped the remote and turned to him. "What are you standing over there for? You are making me nervous."
"Can't I stand where I want to in my own home?"
"Argh, yes you can but stop staring at me like some stalker."
Levi ignored Eren's words. "Come here," he beckoned him over.
Eren looked somewhere between worried and curious as he followed Levi to their bedroom. Levi went to one of the closets and rummaged through it pulling clothes out for Eren. "Here, wear this and this and," he said pulling out a pair of boxers. "This."
"So you even picked my underwear this time. What is this about?" Eren looked at the garments in his hands. "Aren't these the jeans I wore to the gay club?" Eren added.
"They fit."
"Did you steal these from my laundry basket?"
"I might have."
"Dirty old man."
"I made sure you would not be wearing them when I am not there to prevent all sorts of perverts from touching your ass."
"You are one to talk."
"Ok, brat, you either put them on so we can go have dinner downtown or we are staying home eating canned tuna. You choose." Levi wanted to smack himself. This was not how it was supposed to go. He had planned on asking Eren out for dinner in a nice way. He had screwed this whole thing already before he even started.
Eren wasn't fortunately upset, yet, just confused. "Ok, I say no to canned tuna even though I like tuna." Eren put the clothes on the bed and pulled his T-shirt off. "May I ask why am I dressing up in these clothes again?"
"Because," Levi said, taking an imaginary deep breath to calm down his nerves. "I want some eye candy," he said, running a finger up Eren's side. Eren shivered at his touch.
Levi stepped away, leaving Eren to be confused alone by the bed. Maybe he did not know much about romance but seduction was not a problem. Levi did not like to dance around things. He prefered to say things how they were and go straight for what he wanted. Romance was one of those things that was hazy on the edges, meant for people who needed to solidify their relationship with their partner. That was how he saw it. He had told Eren many times how he was in this relationship for life and if he needed romance to understand that then Eren could go screw himself.
But since he did love the brat and Eren liked silly things, he could try romancing him a bit. Valentine's day was only once a year after all. Levi just did not like the cutesy part of it. Levi took a clean shirt from the closet and a pair of slacks.
"Why do you get to dress up all fancy when I wear these things?" Eren asked as he had finally squeezed himself into the shirt that was a bit too tight for him.
Levi pulled the slacks on. "I believe I already answered that."
Eren huffed like an immature kid at the response he got. "You mentioned something about a dinner?"
"Yes," Levi said, buttoning up his shirt carefully. "I did indeed."
"Ok, Levi, you win. What's this about?" Eren stepped in front of him and helping him with the buttons.
Levi sighed, "I didn't know there was anything to win."
"Oh come on, you rarely make my dress up in clothes like these. There's got to be a reason. Have you done something wrong that you are trying to fix?"
How on earth did the brat see right through him at times like these? "You were so upset about Valentine's day so I thought that maybe I should make it up to you."
"Levi, you don't have to. You said it yourself, it is just a stupid.."
Levi silenced him pressing a finger against his lips. "First of all I didn't say it was stupid, I called it silly." He saw that Eren wanted to protest so he kept his finger in place. "Secondly, I caused you to be upset. Let me atone for it in a way that I see fit."
Eren nodded and Levi let him speak once again. "Alright."
Smoothing the non-existent wrinkles on his shirt, Levi tilted his head to the side, looking up to Eren. "Will you be my valentine tonight, Eren?" His fingers trailed the collar of Eren shirt.
"Of course I will."
At least he managed to bring smile on that cute face of Eren's.
Notes:
Anyone notice how I skipped New Years... oooops I forgot to write about that. Oh well there is always the "next" year :D:D
Anyways, the next part shall be out tomorrow. I gotta hunt down the fluffy bunny and shake all the fluff out of it!
Chapter 41: Romance is Nonsense
Notes:
Come back here fluffy bunny, I need more more more!!
No no no my throat hurts. I don't wanna be sick right now. Please no! I just want to sleep.
I was angsting about this chapter and then suddenly this idea struck me!
Enjoy!
Chapter Text
Levi chose one of his favourite restaurants for them to dine in. He had scouted several establishments over the course of the week but he'd never let Eren know that. This one had most secluded seating arrangements that fit into his plans very well. As they were chosing a table he came to notice that the corner one he wanted all along was vacant. There they could sit in the lodge without most of the restaurant noticing them.
He let Eren choose which side he was going sit on and instead of sitting across from him, Levi slipped right next to him.
"Does this mean there'll be some hanky panky?" Eren asked innocently.
"Keep your hands to yourself, lover boy." Levi gave him a look that meant he was serious. "At least until we have ordered," he added and a waiter almost magically appeared right after the words left his mouth.
Levi ordered them a bottle of wine which Eren approved with a nod. The waiter left to get the wine.
"That guy was eyeing you like you were a piece of meat."
Eren laughed. "What are you on about? He hardly even looked at me."
"It's the jeans. Curse them."
"Stop being jealous and you picked these for me yourself!"
"I'm not jealous," Levi grunted.
Eren wrapped his arm around Levi's shoulders. "Yes you are. Now how about you give me kiss, Mister Grumpy Valentine."
"I'm not doing that great, am I?" Levi asked quietly when they parted.
Eren gave him another kiss. "You are perfect."
That right there was more romantic than anything he had said during the whole day. Levi snorted. "How can you say things like that so naturally."
"Because it's true," Eren's tone was light.
Before Levi could protest, the waiter returned with the bottle of white wine and two glasses. Eren suddenly seemed to notice they had not even opened the menus yet. Levi ordered them both the same dish of lamb which he had discovered to be excellent in this restaurant. Never underestimate the meat of fluffy creatures like lambs.
"He was eyeing you again," Levi growled when the waiter was gone.
"So are you."
"I have the right to."
"You do?"
"I think you accepting my proposal gives me the right."
"Ooh," Eren smirked. "You are full of yourself," he said it carefully making sure Levi understood it was a joke.
"I'll have you know that it was my first and my last proposal but now I'm considering revoking it," Levi teased Eren just as much as Eren was teasing him.
"Don't you dare!" Eren exclaimed in mock shock. He put his leg over Levi's knee, scooting a bit closer. Levi's hand came to rest on his thigh automatically.
"If you think seduction will change my mind," Levi left out the rest on purpose and that was all he needed to have Eren kiss him with passion.
"I think it will," Eren whispered between kisses.
"Maybe you're right," Levi whispered back.
Next time the waiter came back, with their dinner, Levi did not even notice if he was looking at Eren or not. He only had eyes for the brat. Besides Levi made it painfully obvious to the waiter who the brat belonged to, with his arms wrapped securely around him.
"Are we supposed to eat?"
"Unfortunately yes."
With a sigh, Eren untangled himself from Levi's arms to eat the delicious meal presented to him. "By the way, where's my chocolate hearts and flowers?"
"At home."
Eren was surprised. "You really got me flowers?"
"You'll see," Levi answered, being cryptic.
"Hmph," Eren hummed. Levi had surprised him even though the said man was not a romantic person to begin with. Levi didn't seem to realize that it was all those little things he did that spoke more than any fancy words he'd say. Eren had to admit, he would have been scared if Levi had suddenly started smooth talking and showering him with flowers. Eren had known that Levi would feel out-of-place with the holiday meant for lovers but even so Levi had tried his best so far. Eren appreciated the thought more than he could say.
Eren was intrigued what kind of flowers had Levi gotten him. He was expecting a bouquet of roses as it was almost traditional. But Levi surprised him once again. Eren was commanded to sit on the couch in the living room and he did, waiting for what was coming next. Levi came back with a paper bag full of different kinds of flowers in pots.
"What's this?" Eren asked as he wanted to peer into the bag but Levi kept it too far away from his prying eyes.
"I know you probably expected to get dozen of red roses. I'm sorry to disappoint you with what I did get," Levi said, sitting down next to him and dragging the coffee table closer to them. He took out the first flower from the bag. "I present you this Dandelion as a symbol of faithfulness and desire." He put it down on the table before getting the next one. "I give you this Amaranth as a symbol of my love that is unfading." He reached out for the next one, not daring to look at Eren's face. "This Honeysuckle represents the bond of love between us." The pot joined the others on the table. "I am not sure do I even have to explain this Forget-me-not," he said and Eren chuckled. "And I did get you some roses," Levi said, taking out a red and a white rose. "Red is for passion and the white is for innocence that I do not want you ever to lose."
"I don't know what to say," Eren said, pausing before he continued, "This has to be the most romantic thing you could have done. Damn I love you!" Eren didn't waste time to hug all air out of the older man.
After a while, Eren still not letting go, Levi said tentatively, "I did get you chocolate too."
"What kind?" Eren asked, pulling away to look into his eyes.
"Pudding."
"Oh my god, marry me right now!" Eren exclaimed, kissing all sense out of Levi.
Chapter 42: Hot Tea
Notes:
Ok, that last chapter was too fluffy.. xD
Chapter Text
It was the day before Levi was supposed to fly over to Germany when his phone rang.
"Levi..."
Levi could hardly recognize Eren's voice. "Eren?" he asked.
"I'm sick," Eren croaked.
"I can hear that."
"Maybe," Eren said softly, trying not to stress his throat any more than he had to. "You should not come after all."
Levi paused, listening to the raspy breathing coming from the young man on the other end on the line."You sound really sick."
"'cause I am."
Levi did consider staying at home. There was a high chance he would catch whatever Eren had but there was this disgusting twinge inside his ribcage that he could not ignore. "Have you eaten?"
"I don't think I have today," Eren answered weakly.
"I'll be there tomorrow." He felt the urge to make sure the brat would not die on him because of a cold.
"Levi.." Eren sounded as if he was close to tears.
"Don't worry, brat. Just rest."
"Ok."
"I'll be there around seven as usual."
"I'll have someone let you in." Eren's voice faded out and Levi heard him cough somewhere away from the phone. His raspy breathing returned a moment later.
Levi felt bad for Eren. "Alright, I'll see you then. Try to drink something at least if you don't feel like eating."
"Yes, sir," came a faint answer before the line went dead.
Levi smiled despite Eren's predicament. His mind went on an overdrive as he needed to figure out what he would take with him and what to buy to help his precious fiancé to survive the horrible cold.
About twenty-four hours later Levi was at Eren's door step. Eren's roommate Andreas, Asser or whatever his name was came to open the door for him. Levi thanked him, this time in German, before hurrying to Eren's side. Eren's room was dark and he could hear soft breathing coming from the direction of the bed. Levi set down his suitcase as silently as he could. He would let Eren sleep as long as he could. Levi tiptoed out of the room to check Eren's fridge. He had brought some food but wanted to see if there was anything he could in there. The fridge was empty. The brat certainly did not eat much, did he?
Sighing, Levi set the ingredients he had shopped for them on the counter and took out a pot filling it with water. He was going to make a soup that would be easiest to eat with a sore throat if stewed long enough. He kept pausing to listen if Eren would make any sounds even though he could not really hear him all the way to the kitchen but that didn't mean he should stop from worrying.
Once all the vegetables were chopped and stewing, he went to check on Eren. He heard sniffling which meant the brat was awake.
Eren peered from under the covers at him. "Oh, you're here. I'm sorry I-"
Levi interrupted him. "Don't be sorry. You're sick, sleep as much as you can." He went to his suitcase, opening it and pulling out things he brough for Eren. "Here, have one of these. This will help with the soreness." He offered Eren a candy looking pill which Eren took and suckled on it. "It will numb the pain in your throat."
"Thank you."
"I brought you a fresh pack of tissues too," Levi said, handing out the package to Eren who put it next to his pillow. "I have some ibuprofen too but I'd rather have you take it with food." He rummaged a small package out of the bag. "And I brought you this." He handed Eren the package of face masks which caused Eren to laugh and cough.
"Thanks." Eren offered him a weak smile after this coughing subsided.
"I'll make you some tea while the food is stewing," Levi said, walking back to the kitchen to put the kettle on. He put an extra spoonful of honey into the mug. As soon as the water boiled, he poured it into the mug, put a tea bag in and walked back to Eren's room. He fished out a small bottle from a pocket of his suitcase.
"You are not drugging me are you?" Eren asked hoarsely as he watched Levi tip the bottle over and let small drops fall into the mug.
"This is eucalyptus extract. It'll help."
"What would I do without you," Eren rasped as Levi handed him the mug.
"You'd die."
"Probably yeah."
Chapter 43: A Helping Hand
Chapter Text
Eren was snoozing on the bed, fully medicated and well fed. Levi was reading a book, Eren's head on his lap. He occasionally ran his fingers thought the brown locks without waking Eren up. The brat could sleep through a war if needed.
Eren stirred two hours later. "What time is it?"
"Eleven."
Eren rubbed his eyes, looking exhausted and as if to prove the point he yawned. Eren sighed, staying silent for a few minutes before he sighed again. "I am going to be screwed."
"Why?" Levi asked, putting his book down.
"I have so much school work. This is not a good time to be sick."
"You should worry about your health first."
"But I can't fall behind," Eren's voice got an urgency that it didn't have before. "If I fail the course I need to wait until next year to do it again and it will set me back a whole year because it's a course that is required to be able to attend the others." Eren succumbed into a fit of coughs.
"Hey, calm down," Levi tried his best but the brat seems anxious.
"I don't want to fail," Eren weakly responded as he tugged the covers closer to his chin.
"You are not going to fail. What is it that you need to do for the course?"
"Write an essay from the materials we've gotten."
"Alright, that doesn't sound so hard."
"I have no energy to do it. I was supposed to write it during this weekend but.." Eren fell silent, sighing in despair and defeat.
"I could help. I got nothing better to do."
Eren turns his head to look up at Levi. "You'd write my essay?"
"Sure why not, if you got all the material I need."
Eren slowly moved, getting up from the bed, pushing the covers away. "Wait a second and I'll get them for you."
"With that pace you're going, it's going to take a lot more than a second."
"I'm sorry but my muscles are all sore as well."
Eren somehow managed to walk, with difficulty, to his bag. He pulled out a folder, bringing it back to the bed with him.
"You looked like an old man in his nineties. I could have gotten it for you if you asked," Levi said slightly amused.
"Shut up. I might be sick but I'll live," Eren said, picking up his laptop from the floor.
Levi took the folder and laptop that Eren presented him. "You need to talk me through this," Levi said, setting the laptop on his lap and opening the folder. Eren showed him the right page, before collapsing next to him, nesting in blankets.
Levi reached for a face mask. "Put this on or I kick you off the bed."
"You wouldn't do that," Eren said, putting the mask on. He slumped against Levi's shoulder. "Better?"
"Much."
Eren started explaining how he wanted Levi to construct the essay and what he thought were the important things to include. Levi made a comment about his way of color-coding sections of text on his notes. "It helps me to find the parts that are related to each other more quickly."
Levi spent some time reading the notes to fully understand what he was supposed to write about, asking Eren this and that, when he noticed that Eren was not responding to his inquiries anymore. Eren's eyes were closed, breathing even as he slept, leaning against him.
Levi set to work, writing an essay he was not supposed to write in the first place but if it elevated some stress off Eren's shoulders then he might just as well do it. It was not a long one to do nor too complex judging by the notes. Eren had given him clear instructions about the format and length. Besides it was not like he had not written an essay before. It just had been a while since.
Eren slept peacefully though the essay writing process and woke up to later to find Levi asleep and spooning him to his chest. Eren did not stay awake long as he lulled back to the land of dreams, grateful for having someone like Levi in his life.
Chapter 44: Separation
Notes:
I had this feeling that I should cut back with the fluff a bit…
Chapter Text
Eren was exhausted as he fell on his bed one evening. He had just come home from work and he still had some reading to do but he was sure he would not be able to keep his eyes open any longer. He wanted to cry when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He fished it out of his pocket, glaring at the screen that said 'Levi'.
His anger dissipated but it was replaced by despair. He did not want to talk to Levi because he would only have bad news to tell. He answered the phone, dreading the conversation ahead.
"Took you long enough to answer, brat."
Eren sighed, "I know, I'm sorry."
"You sound tired," Levi stated the obvious.
"I had a long day." Eren bit his lip. He should just say it but he did not want to disappoint Levi. But he will be no matter what you do, Eren berated to himself silently in his head. "Listen, I.."
Levi stayed silent on the other end, letting Eren continue.
"I can't come over this month at all." Eren screwed his eyes shut. Levi would be mad, right? He would call him an idiot for not having time nor money to visit.
"Why not? Did you get robbed or something?"
"No, I really need to save every cent I can to be able to pay the rent during the summer hols. I've gotten a job to help with the payments and it's taking up all the free time I have. I need to-"
"I get it, brat."
"Are you angry?"
"Why would I be angry? You have gotten yourself a job. You are actually doing something worth while."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"As you should."
Eren was quiet for a few moments and Levi had a feeling this was not all Eren was hiding. "Eren, is there something else you want to tell me?"
"I think it's best if I focus on my studies until the summer," Eren said carefully.
"Two months." Levi tried not to let the disappointment color his voice. He would not see the brat for two whole months. He wanted to plea for a chance to see him. He could take it. Only two months and then he would have Eren by his side for almost three months. It would be the real Christmas for him.
Levi would have a four-week holiday himself in July and he had already made plans for them but he would not share those yet with Eren. Less the brat knew, the better.
"Levi?" Eren's voice brought the older man out of his thoughts.
"What?"
"I'm sorry," Eren said once again. "I really am."
"I get it, stop apologizing." Levi pinched the bridge of his nose fighting back a sigh that he wanted to let out but that might give Eren the wrong idea. "I'll skin you if you let this go to waste."
Eren laughed at his threat. "That's more like it, Heichou."
"I mean it."
"I know."
"Good, now get to work."
"I will," Eren sounded more up to beat than he had at the beginning of the conversation.
The phone call ended and Levi knew he should not have felt so utterly tired and defeated. He had known this time would come. If Eren was busy now, then how busy would he get when he was writing his thesis? He did not want to think about that yet. There was still a year or two until then, right? His thumb rubbed against the ring on his finger. The years would go by quickly, he knew. In no time at all Eren would officially be moving in and their future could be painted in what ever way they wanted to. He looked forward to the warm summer mornings, lying naked on the bed with Eren without a care in the world. No work, no obligations, just the two of them. That was what he wanted. He wanted to travel the world with Eren like the young man had mentioned. He wanted to wake next to him in a foreign country, in a strange bed and still know that they would face the upcoming days together. Yes, he could wait a bit longer.
Chapter 45: Sexting
Notes:
Ok, let me say that this was a stupid idea but still an idea that I thought about and came to the conclusion that I just can't pass this opportunity! I think the title of this chapter says it all.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Levi was bored. He would have never thought that not seeing Eren for so long could actually result in boredom. Not to mention the loneliness. He had cut back the times he called the brat and every time he did he heard the exhaustion in his voice. The brat was working hard there was no doubt about it. Levi was sure Eren wanted to tell him how much he missed him but the young man had stayed strong and not said anything. Levi had a feeling that talking about it might make him crumble. Eren was hanging on and Levi meant to make it easier for him but the silence was eating him.
Few times he had been close to jumping on a plane and surprising Eren but every time he changed his mind when he heard that tired voice of Eren's. Levi fiddled with his phone in his hand, slouching on the couch in their living room. He'd never let Eren see him doing something like this. He had a certain amount of dignity to uphold when he was in Eren's presence.
He missed him. Every time they conversed he wanted to tell him that, he wanted to hear that sweet voice calling to him. He grit his teeth as he thought back to the last time they had sex. How long had it been now, over two months? There was still a month or so to go before Eren would fly over and stay for the whole summer. He had not dared to suggest anything sexual while they called each other. Levi would not initiate such a thing after casual conversation. It was Eren's thing and the brat had to be really tired if he did not even mention sex in any way.
Unlocking the screen on his phone he made a decision, probably a bad one but still his to make. He glanced at the clock. Eren should be at the university at some lecture.
He typed out a silly message for the brat that said, I want you to ruffle my feather duster.
It took about five minutes before Eren answered. WHAT?! Does that mean what I think it does?
Levi smiled as he typed his next one. I want you to stick my broom through your backdoor
Eren's answer came back right away. Omg Levi, are you sexting me? WTH!
I want my balls to rebound off your basket
Goddamnit Levi, I'm in class! ..is that a basketball reference?
I want to dunk in you so hard you'll taste it
Omg, stop watching the sports channel, will you!?
Levi chuckled at Eren's assumption. I want your hoover in my downstairs
Seriously, stop!
Only if you spray your windex on me
You and your cleaning fetishes! I'm calling you later tonight if that makes you stop this?
I'll be waiting with my broom in my hand
Omg... ok.. Keep on sweeping until I get home. I might have some dirt for you to clean later
Levi smirked. Finally the brat had got the idea and given in. He brushed aside the feeling of silliness within him. He just wanted to see Eren and since that was impossible, according to the brat, he had to come up with some other way to get his fix. He was looking forward to the phone conversation tonight. This was good enough punishment for not letting him see him but the real punishment would be delivered when Eren came back home to him.
Notes:
Ok, I don't even know what to say myself... I'm gonna prohibit phones in this story from now on... no more !
Chapter 46: Torture
Notes:
I'm freezing and I'm writing about summer. I'm insane.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
A popsicle was dripping, his fingers were sticky but Levi did not move. He would not. "If this is your idea of torture..."
"You said it yourself," there was unhidden mirth in Eren's voice. "Little dirt won't hurt. I think you should be a poet, 'cause that rhymed."
"I'm going to wash that sarcastic mouth of yours with soap one day."
Levi was not sure how they had end up in this stalemate situation. Eren had taunted him into holding a popsicle until it had completely melted just because Levi had said he could handle little bit of dirt without problems. Levi did not want to back down and Eren kept staring at the popsicle as if it would melt quicker under his gaze. Eren was not going let him off the hook obviously. Put two stubborn people together and this is what you get silly or not.
"You can try."
"Just watch me," Levi growled. He was going to carry out that threat of his one day.
The melting popsicle ran slowly down his hand, tickling his skin. He tried to imagine it was just water. Yes, just colored water, nothing more. It was pure, not dirty, sugary, sticky shit. Levi sighed, it would be ok, it could not harm him. It just made him feel gross. "Once this melts, I'm sticking this stick up your ass."
Eren laughed, tears in his eyes. Eren tried to regain his composure but he bursted out laughing every time he tried to keep a straight face.
"It was not that funny," Levi tried to say with stern voice but Eren's laughter caused a smile appear on his face also.
Eren fanned his face, grinning while huffing and puffing, his cheeks flushed. Eren closed his eyes, gaining the ability to speak once again. "I can see you doing that. It's not going to hurt, you know."
"I fail to see your point."
Drops dripped from the popsicle on the lawn that they were sitting on at the back of Levi's apartment. A tiny space all in all but it got sunlight all day long and today happened to be one of the warmest days yet. Eren had flown over two days prior to this event.
"Tell me again why am I wasting this popsicle? You know Eren is going to be mad at you," Levi said.
"I'll buy him a whole box. It's ok to waste one." Eren's eyes kept trailing the drops of the melting ice on Levi's hand.
Levi looked from the popsicle to Eren and back. "Are you getting a kick out of this?"
"You're the clean freak, you tell me," Eren said not taking his eyes off the hand.
"I'm not sure if I should feel happy or disgusted," he made a face as a few drops of the sticky liquid ran down his hand again. "Definitely disgusted."
He wasn't feeling so comfortable under Eren's hawk-like gaze. The brat might jump him any given moment and then the popsicle would ruin everything. To avert this nightmare from happening he needed to distract Eren. "We are going on a trip," Levi said.
"When." Levi was sure Eren's eyes had stopped blinking.
"Next month. I have some time off."
"Sounds nice, where are we going?"
"France." Finally Levi got some kind of reaction out of the young man.
Eren looked up from Levi's hand to his face. "Really?" Eren sounded surprised.
"Yes, I'd like to take you to see where I grew up and I'd like you to meet my parents but.." Now he had Eren's full attention.
"But?"
"They are no longer alive."
"Oh," Eren said quietly.
"Don't get depressed about it," Levi said and he would have ruffled Eren's hair if it didn't danger him getting soaked by melting ice. "Besides, we are going to the coast of Mediterranean Sea too."
Eren eyes brightened when he heard the word 'sea'. "I've always wanted to go there."
Levi smiled. "I figured that." He wanted to tell Eren the real reason why they would be going there but it was a surprise. That reminded him that he needed to call Carla. They had flight plans to discuss.
Notes:
But we know what he's talking about, right? *wink wink* But, shhhh, don't tell Eren.
Chapter 47: Planning in Secret
Notes:
My head is killing me, slowly. I think I need a softer approach towards ridding myself of this Coca cola zero addiction. I didn't drink it for 3 days, result was splitting headaches and sleepiness. Not good.
Chapter Text
Levi congratulated himself after a successful phone call to Carla. She'd be arriving in two weeks and she'd be staying with Lena for the first night because Levi did not want Eren to know that she was here at all until the time was right. There wasn't that much to be done. All the legalities were done. Levi had done most of arranging while he worked. He had booked an appointment to the Town Hall, tables from a restaurant and invited some of this closest friends there to celebrate with them.
The party would be rather intimate. He had asked Carla to help him with inviting Eren's friends if there was any that could afford to come but she had said that maybe they could throw a party in Germany for them if Eren felt it was necessary. So only thing left to do was to break the news to Eren that he had been officially divorced for three months now. He would just need to leave out the fact that their wedding would be two weeks from now and they would leave on their honeymoon on the following day.
He was sure someone would blurt it out to Eren and mess up his plan of surprising the young man. He still needed to rent Eren a suit. He would need to sneak around to get his measurements. He had opted on stealing Eren's ring to have them engraved again before the wedding but he had deemed that bad luck. He knew something would go wrong if he did something like that before hand. He was not superstitious but he did not want anything ruining this so just in case he left it undone. He checked the list in his head once again just to be sure. He wasn't forgetting anything, right? Lena would get their son a suit so he wouldn't need to explain to anyone why they were going shopping for something like that.
Levi had to admit he was nervous. He only needed to wait two more weeks. He had week and half left on work, giving him enough time to fix anything that might go wrong. Everything was in order, he kept telling himself. He smiled when he thought back how he had called Carla and told her that he would need her help with the wedding. Her girly screams had almost broken his ears but she had been a great help.
Levi could only hope that nothing was lost in translation. His plan was to have her arrive to spent the last night before the wedding with her son. This was Levi's way of honoring the tradition that the couple should not see each other before the wedding. Carla would dress Eren up and bring him to the Town Hall. This was a task he trusted only her to do.
Levi had let her know that the night might get rowdy but she had promised to go back to Lena's. Levi could not be any more grateful to his ex-wife at this point. Lena had helped out so much by agreeing to accommodate the German woman. He had first thought that it would not be a good idea to invite Lena to the wedding and he had let her know that if she did not want to come then he would not hold it against her. She had agreed, someone had to look after their son after all.
Hardest part was keeping the wedding a secret from their son. Levi knew that if the little boy over heard them, they would be in trouble. So they always made sure little Eren was not anywhere near when anything about the wedding was mentioned.
Over the course of the next week and a half Levi found himself almost slipping up and telling Eren what ws going on. Why there was a phone call that had him talking in German, luckily though Eren had only heard him wishing goodbye to Carla. Levi had explained it by saying that he called her sometimes to keep his German skills brushed up. Eren had not bought the excuse entirely saying that they could converse in German if Levi wanted to. Levi knew he was slipping but so far Eren had not noticed anything else off.
And so the day before the wedding came. Eren had just returned with a two boxes of pizza as Levi was about to leave. Damn, his plan had been to be out before Eren returned.
"I'm on my way to get something to drink with those," he said, grabbing his keys from on top of the cabinet in the entrance hall.
"But we have plenty of soda in the fridge." Eren furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. They always had soda can or two to spare.
"No, I really need a bottle of wine tonight," Levi said and hurried out of the door, leaving dumbfounded Eren standing in the entrance hall.
Eren did not know a time when Levi had ever had such a sudden graving for wine. Ten minutes later he found out why. The door bell rang and he found his own mother standing on the other side of the door.
"Mum?!" Eren exclaimed, jumping to hug her. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" he hurried to ask because there was no other reason for her to be here, was there?
"Hello, darling. I'm fine, everything is fine. I'm here because of you."
Eren pulled back, looking at her incredulously. "Ok?"
"Let me come inside and I'll explain."
Eren let her in and said, "Levi went to get some wine he should be back shortly."
"Levi is not coming back tonight, darling."
"What?" Eren was beyond confused. "What is going on?"
Chapter 48: The Clueless Groom
Notes:
Argh I hit my hand on a nail today, damn this burns. So if I disappear from the face of the earth then you know I died from this small burning wound hah!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
As Eren came to realize, he had been lied to but in a sweet way. He ate the pizzas with his mother while she kept on giggling like a school girl.
"Do you have any idea what is going to happen tomorrow?"
Eren was getting tired of her smiling like she knew everything. "No, because no one is telling me anything." He tried to call Levi but the bastard was not answering at all. "I'm getting worried. What kind of scheme are you part of?"
Carla smiled at him. "You know, Eren, sometimes it is better not to know. We have a busy day tomorrow. No need to worry, you'll see Levi tomorrow."
"Gah!" Eren gave up. He hated surprises. He decided so now. What could Levi and his mother be hiding that would require the man to leave the house?
"You staying here tonight?"
"Yes," Carla answered. "I'm here to keep my eye on you."
"I don't need a baby sitter!"
"Maybe not but I have been given a task and I shall fulfill it to best of my abilities."
Eren sighed, "Mum."
"You will know as first thing in the morning what is going on. Trust me."
Eren shrugged. "Ok, whatever you say. This better be good or I'm going to be angry."
Carla laughed. She was glad her son was sometimes so dense.
Eren didn't sleep that well. His mind was swirling. Levi had never left him without a word like this for any reason. He had even called his mother to baby sit him to make sure he did not follow him. All sort of bad thoughts went through his head. Had he done something to upset Levi? The popsicle incident had not been that bad, right? Levi had been sulking about that for a week afterwards and had sworn to never touch another popsicle ever.
Eren caught a couple of hours of sleep somewhere between three and seven a.m. And he got out of bed after tossing around the bed for an hour. His mother was already making tea and eggs when he entered the kitchen. She had slept in little Eren's room.
"Darling!" She greeted him happily, setting a plate on the table. "Eat something but eat lightly," she said with a wink.
Eren watched her put a small amount of eggs on his plate. "Don't tell me we are splitting one egg?"
"I wouldn't want to ruin your appetite."
Eren did not know what to make of this whole business. First his fiancé goes missing, then his mother shows up and then she makes him eat half an egg all the while she has been giggling. Was this some sort of sick mind game? Was there a psychotic killer on the loose or something and all of this was part of the master plan to make his life hell? Ok, maybe he had played too much of video games lately. He had been forced to find a way to entertain himself while Levi at work so he had bought a game console. He had justified it to Levi by saying that little Eren could use it as well as much as he pleased.
"Would you tell me already what this is all about? It's starting to creep me out. We are supposed to leave to France tomorrow and I haven't even packed and now I am not sure we will even go since Levi disappeared and.." he would have rambled on if Carla had not silenced him with her fingers pressing his lips shut.
Carla smiled at him, her eyes twinkling. "Eren."
"Yes?" his response was a bit muffled due to the soft pressure of the fingers.
"Calm down. I'll show you what this is all about," she said. "But first, take a shower, clean yourself as best you can. You don't want to be sloppy today."
"I'm never sloppy!"
"Yes, yes, whatever you say my darling," she tutted at him. She shooed him off to the shower and he did as she had said, taking his time. Carla was already in the bedroom, opening a suit bag and carefully laying out a dark blue suit.
Eren looked at the suit silently as he tried to think of a reason for it being there.
"Did you know that Levi is already officially divorced?" Carla asked casually.
Eren looked at her his eyes wide. "He hasn't said anything," he said quietly as he was starting to jump into conclusions.
"Do you know what I'm here for? I did tell you to sent me an invitation but it came from Levi instead and he swore me to secrecy."
Eren sat down on the bed, feeling light-headed suddenly. He was scared to say what he thought if he had misunderstood her words. He couldn't breath properly. All the odd things that Levi had said and done lately were for this? He needed to hear it first from someone else. He couldn't believe his own mind telling him that he might be getting married. "Ok," he said. He couldn't think of anything else to say.
Carla laughed. "Oh my little boy," she hugged him tightly. "Let's get you dressed and ready, ok?"
Eren could only nod. He didn't even comment when his mother gave him a pair of boxers. He wasn't really paying attention to that. He was getting more nervous as each piece of garment was put on. He didn't even protest when Carla combed his hair, she kept smiling at him knowingly.
"You know, I was just as nervous when I married your father," she said. "We had planned it for a few years until I noticed I was pregnant and we had to speed things up a bit." She laughed which did miracles for Eren's nerves. "I want to give you this." She took out a small box. "These are your grandfather's cufflinks. He wore these when he married your grandmother but he didn't let Grisha wear them. They never got along," she said as if it was a fond memory. "Someone might say that I should have listened to my father but I wouldn't change it even if I could. What I got out of it was you and I'd never even consider wanting to erase that."
Eren's eyes were filling up with tears. "Mum," he whispered softly, pulling her into a tight hug.
Notes:
I was supposed to write the wedding into this chapter but...
Chapter 49: The Wedding
Notes:
I was writing this earlier and had to stop cos I got too emotional (and then I got a migraine and and..other bad things happened). So I'm sorry this took so long. Oh and btw, I'll be gone for few days (again) cos I'm going for a small trip and I will be back on Saturday but who knows in what shape haha!
I actually have a song (more like a playlist actually) for this chapter that I kinda plan on singing it in my wedding if I ever fall in love and get married... (maybe in 20 years if ever hah!) I was singing it and realized how well it fit into this story.
So my playlist for this was:
Linnuton Puu – Anna Puu
Ruusunen – Anna Puu (this one I am gonna use in my wedding)
Sinä olet Minä – Anna Puu
Mestaripiirros – Anna Puu
Politik – Coldplay (I just freaking cried over this song)
Marry You – Bruno Mars
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Somehow they managed not to ruin the suit with Eren's tears as his crying got out of hand. Carla quickly dressed herself up too and then ushered Eren into a taxi which took them to the Town Hall. She was saddened by the non-festive ceremony ahead but the two men did not even notice anything or anyone else than each other when they finally came face to face. Carla acted as one of the witnesses and a fine looking gentleman, who was introduced as a colleague of Levi's, was the second witness.
The civil wedding ceremony was not long nor fancy but nothing could have dimmed the happiness of the two men, finally together, bound by marriage.
Eren couldn't help but kiss Levi. This was the day he had waited for. Although he had not expected it to be today. Hell, they had not even discussed this yet. Eren had been under the assumption that they would get married after he graduated. But he did not regret this, not at all. Levi had given him the best surprise in the world after scaring the shit out of him.
Besides Eren could not take his eyes off of him. Levi looked delicious in his black sleek suit. He was wearing the cravat, which in Eren's opinion, enhanced his appeal. Levi had not ever been a tie wearing type. Eren kissed those thin lips again and again, saying sorry as he knew he was getting carried away. Not that Levi seemed to mind but some other people might. Eren had gotten used to hiding their relationship from outsiders. They never acted like this in public and it felt oddly freeing to be celebrating their most important day out in public.
As they left the Town Hall, he was pulled into a taxi by Levi. Eren did not let his hand go, staring at the other man, close to tears.
"If I had known.." Eren began unable to finish whatever he wanted to say.
"It wouldn't have been much of a surprise." Levi raised Eren's hand to his lips, kissing it gently.
The ride itself was a blur and soon Eren found himself walking into a restaurant full of people who were waiting for them to arrive. Cheering began as soon as they came into view of those said people. Eren had never been introduced to so many people at once. Their names were familiar though from the stories that Levi had told him about them. Among the unknown faces he spotted Lena with little Eren who was bouncing with excitement, waiting for his mother to let him go so that he could run to his father.
Eren and Levi received congratulations one after the other. Eren was sure his face would hurt tomorrow from all the smiling he did today.
Lena finally let the little boy go and he shouted happily, "Daddy!" as he ran towards the couple.
For the first time that evening Levi let go of Eren's hand and scooped the little boy in his arms, kissing his cheek. "Hey, kid."
The little boy wrapped his arms around his father's neck, giggling happily. The little boy looked smashing in his suit and small red bow tie around his neck.
"There will be cake for dessert," Levi said to his son who, if possible, looked even more excited after hearing that piece of news.
Lena walked over to them, extending her hand to Eren. "Congratulations," she said, smiling politely.
Eren was not sure if she was wishing them happiness or not but he took what she gave him. "Thank you," he said, giving her a smile that was genuine. There was no way for him to smile in any other way tonight.
She turned her attention to her son. "Come on, Eren, we have to sit down or no one gets to eat the cake."
The little boy pouted and Levi set him down. Little Eren left to sit with his mother.
Levi took Eren's hand once again, leading him to the end of the table that had been set out for them.
Eren leaned on his hand, looking at Levi as they waited for their food to be served. "So Mr. Master Mind, what's next on the list?"
"What list?"
"Can I relax or is there anymore surprises left?"
"Relax," Levi said. "No more surprises. I actually have not made any plans beyond this point. We can do whatever we want."
"I'd like to dance," Eren said dreaming of swaying on the dance floor with Levi in his arms.
"I think I could arrange that." Levi beckoned a waiter over. "Would it be possible for us to move couple of tables so that we could dance?"
"I'll have to ask, please wait a moment." The waiter disappeared to ask.
When Levi returned his attention to him Eren said, "You didn't have to do that. We could have gone somewhere else."
"Why? They do have music right here. I'll just ask them to up the volume a bit. If someone has the balls to complain.."
Eren laughed, cutting Levi off with a kiss. "I love you, did you know that?"
"No, tell me again?"
Eren grinned from ear to ear, giving the shorter man another kiss. "Ich Liebe dich, Levi, mein Schatz."
Levi hummed in appreciation. "Hmm, what if we go out tonight?"
"Why not," Eren agreed. " I wanna go wild!"
Levi chuckled at him. "Indeed. But first let's celebrate with some dignity."
Eren said the first thing that popped in his mind, "You plan on dancing on some tables later tonight?"
"Possibly."
Eren laughed and was about to say something when the waiter returned and told them that making some room would be possible. Levi requested them to put on some appropriate music and up the volume. The waiter nodded, smiling and saying that he would get it done.
"There we go, problem solved," Levi said when the waiter left.
"It was not really a problem."
"You know what I mean."
Their dance floor was made while they ate and Eren could hear the volume rising. The waiter came by to ask if it was loud enough and Levi told him it was. Eren suspected the restaurant had a playlist for romantic songs, there was no other way for them to whip up some so fast otherwise.
"So, how did you guys meet?" Some guest asked a few seat down the table.
Eren opened his mouth but he did not know what to say. He turned to look at Levi as if waiting for him to help him answer the question. What could they possibly say, tell the truth? What was the truth?
Levi placed his hand over Eren's. "We passed each other by chance and when I saw him I knew that he was the one."
Eren could not believe his ears. That had to be the cheesiest answer he could have ever thought Levi would give.
"Love at first sight?" the man, whose name Eren could not remember asked.
"Yes."
"Wow," someone said. Eren wanted to join in and say that too.
"Was it like that, Eren?" Carla asked Eren in German, leaving most people outside the conversation by then. Eren blushed. It had not been like that, not at all. He thought back to when they had originally met. It was anything but love at first sight. It had taken time but when Eren had realized he loved the man, it had been too late to do anything but. He was ripped out of these thoughts by Levi who got up from his seat, pulling him with him.
"Let's dance."
Eren did not protest at all, after all he had asked for it. Levi led him to the space that had been cleaned for their sake. A song Eren did not recognize was playing but he stopped to listen to the woman singing softly.
I woke up today to a gentle kiss
I get kisses all the time
Levi pulled Eren close, wrapping his free arm around his waist.
But this one was different from the others
Blood roared in my veins and my bones were renewed
Eren placed his hand on Levi's shoulder. They swayed softly to the rhythm of the song.
You'll never guess who I saw!
My Prince Charming stood in front of me
He kissed away the hundred years of sleep
As if those years had never happened
Eren smiled as he remembered the day he saw Levi out in front of that shop and not believing his eyes. How they had kissed in the bookstore when they were not meant to. How it was a miracle that they had found each other at all. The road to this point had been rough at times. It was still not easy one to tread but Eren hoped it was a long one. He wanted it to never end.
Did you sleep well? He asked smiling
Hundred and one, and I'm not kidding
He did not ask the reasons for my fatigue
I said, Prince, kiss me now!
As the chorus began again Eren noticed how he was lost in the blue eyes gazing back up at him. They were so much more softer now that they had been when they first met. One drastic thing had changed in those eyes, though. Eren could see hope in Levi's eyes that was not there before. They really had no hope back then, fighting a losing battle. Eren mentally slapped himself for having these thoughts today.
I can be thousand years old
But I will never make the mistake
That I would not wake up to a gentle kiss
If only I get it from my beloved Prince
The song faded out and Eren claimed Levi's lips with a kiss. He could care less if people were watching as he put everything he felt at the moment into it. His heart soared but felt heavy at the same time.
"Hey," Levi's soft voice reached his ears. "Don't cry."
Eren had not realized he was. "I'm sorry," he said and wiped his eyes, laughing.
Other people joined them on the dance floor but they did not really notice. Levi himself had tried his best not to get overly emotional today but seeing Eren cry did something to him and he noticed that his own eyes were watering. "Damn, brat," he said affectionately. "Look what you've done." He joined Eren in laughing.
"I'm sorry," Eren apologised once again.
"If I hear you say that one more time today I'll knee you in the nuts."
"Ouch," Eren hissed as if imagining the pain.
"Very much so."
"You know this was exactly how I imagined our wedding to be, you threatening to abuse me."
Levi knew Eren was joking. "Oh, you know me so well, darling." Levi patted Eren's cheek, mocking him.
Levi loved Eren's smile. It always made him feel light in the heart as if a simple smile could take all his worries and sorrows. Maybe the twinkling in his green eyes were helping the cause too. Levi had been nervous this morning, so much so that he had been sure Eren would not show up. He had washed his hands ten times because they kept on getting clammy. All his worries had indeed been blown away when he had finally seen Eren at the Town Hall, all happy and smiling at him.
He did not want to let Eren go ever. The once messy young man had become someone who respected him for who he was and not just for what he had done. His musings were interrupted by a hand tapping on his shoulder. He turned to see Carla asking if she could dance with Eren. Levi of course let her have her dance with her son.
He went to sit down and watched the two Jaegers talking quietly to each other. Levi was happy to have such a mother-in-law as Carla. If she was not as accepting of them as she was, there could have been a lot of hurt and drama. Levi knew how important she was to Eren. She could have wedged a rift between them easily enough with some prejudice crap.
The song came to an end and Levi watched Eren hug his mother tightly and placing a kiss on her cheek before Eren walked over to him. "Mum is leaving soon with Lena. Should we get going as well?"
Levi looked at the clock to see it was only half past four. "We haven't eaten the cake yet."
Eren leaned in to whisper to his ear. "I'd rather put something else in my mouth if you know what I mean."
"That's all?" Levi asked, teasing his husband on purpose.
"Well, to be honest, I'd rather ravish you before we get wasted and can't even tell which way is up or down."
"Ok," Levi said, rising up from his seat. He clapped his hands to get attention of everybody who were still in the restaurant. Some had already left. "We are leaving, have fun while eating the cake. Eat, drink, dance and expect a bill in the mail some time next week."
A round of laughter, goodbyes and luck wishes went around as they left their guests to fend for themselves. The bill had been paid upfront, it was one thing less to worry about.
"I have not packed yet," Eren said.
"We are leaving tomorrow."
"I.." he was about to say sorry. "I know. I was so worried last night that I couldn't bring myself to pack."
"The flight leaves in the afternoon so you got plenty of time. Don't bother packing too many clothes, you won't be needing them." Levi pulled Eren close as they walked to out to catch a taxi.
Eren chuckled. "I will need some though. Can't go butt naked everywhere."
"Who said you are going anywhere other than the bed."
"So we go to France just to spend the whole time in bed? Wow, you are so romantic."
"Sorry, you are stuck with me now."
"Ok, as long as you won't go on a cleaning spree the moment we step inside our hotel room then I won't mind spending the whole honeymoon in bed."
"Deal," Levi said as they stepped inside a taxi that took them home.
Notes:
Here is full translation for the song I used:
Ruusunen(Sleeping Beauty) by Anna Puu
Like Sleeping Beauty without a prince
I dream of life
I don't want to sleep but be drowned in kisses
I'll stay in sleep forever without himI woke up today to a gentle kiss
I get kisses all the time
But this one was different from the others
Blood roared in my veins and my bones were renewed(Chorus)
You'll never guess who I saw!
My Prince Charming stood in front of me
He kissed away the hundred years of sleep
As if those years had never happenedDid you sleep well? He asked smiling
Hundred and one, and I'm not kidding
He did not ask the reasons for my fatigue
I said, Prince, kiss me now!You'll never guess who I saw!
My Prince Charming stood in front of me
He kissed away the hundred years of sleep
As if those years had never happenedI can be thousand years old
But I will never make the mistake
That I would not wake up to a gentle kiss
If only I get it from my beloved PrinceYou'll never guess who I saw!
My Prince Charming stood in front of me
He kissed away the hundred years of sleep
As if those years had never happenedHe kissed away the hundred years of sleep
As if those years had never happened
Chapter 50: Going Home
Notes:
Ok this chapter will take place a few years to the future. This is second to last chapter. There is an epilogue to follow this one.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Eren smiled, getting giddy as he was packing and this time would be his last. He was officially moving together with Levi. He couldn't contain the happy feeling of finally being able to spend more than just a few days, sometimes a week with him, not to forget the summer holidays but this time he'd be there to stay.
He had graduated and he was free to do what he wanted with his life. It had been tough going back between Hamburg and London every once in a while, not seeing his husband for long periods of time but now that would change.
He was humming to himself when he suddenly noticed Carla looking at him from the door to his room.
"Mum, no, don't cry." He hurried to say as she her eyes were glistening dangerously with tears.
"But my baby boy is moving to another country," she said, wiping her eyes.
"Mum, come on, I'm not a baby anymore. I'm twenty-three." Eren went to hug her. He hated to see her cry.
"You'll always be my baby even if you are fifty." She hugged him tightly and her statement caused her son to laugh. "I know Levi will take care of you."
"Of course he will."
"You'll better come visit me once in a while. I expect a Christmas invitation every year."
Eren laughed again. "Of course. I'll come pick you up personally for Christmas, mum."
"Good," she said firmly. She gave him one more squeeze before leaving him to his task of packing.
The days until his departure passed in a blur. He double checked everything and Carla checked everything for him one more time. He didn't have much to take with him as he already had all necessities over at Levi's, no, their apartment. Most of his luggage was personal items he couldn't be parted with.
Five hours later he walked through the airport in London, dragging his luggage behind him until he saw a familiar pair waiting for him in the distance.
"Uncle Eren!" A bright voice greeted him and the seven-year old boy ran up to him. Levi walked behind him much more slower, smiling.
Eren let go of his bags and hugged his namesake. "Hi, I missed you."
"He demanded to be here," Levi said as soon as he reached the two young men named Eren. Letting the little boy out of his arms, Eren gave Levi a hug too. "I missed you too," he said but this time more softly.
Levi returned the brief hug. "Eren has been pestering me all day. If it had been up to him, we would have been here four hours ago. I'm ready to drown this brat," he said, ruffling his son's hair.
"I will protect you from the evil guy. Don't worry," Eren said to the boy with a serious face.
Levi offered to take some of his luggage. They took the public transports to the apartment since Levi couldn't be bothered to get a car. Having a car in London was a nightmare he did not want to live through.
"So how's Lena?" Eren asked as they walked down the streets.
"She's good. She asked me to watch over Eren today because apparently she has a date."
Eren was ecstatic. "Really? That's good."
"Indeed."
"I'm happy for her. I hope that guy is a decent one. If not, we can always go kick his ass."
"Calm down, Jaeger."
Eren laughed. Oh how many times he had heard that in the past. "For old times' sake?"
"What old times? We never beat anyone up on purpose. Other than you."
"Oh come on. I'd wanna see if I still got the skills."
Levi looked thoughtful for a moment. "We could always have a go at it ourselves," he suggested.
"Are you serious? That's actually pretty good idea."
"Why not. Get ready to have your ass handed to you."
"Hah!" Eren barked out. "Let's hit the gym some day. I think I could land a hit or two."
"In your dreams." Levi smiled at the enthusiastic young man. Even if they knew how to fight would probably not do them any good. Levi himself had not seen any need to use such skills in this life time and hoped he never would have to but having a spar with Eren sounded nice. As long as he did not have to fix any broken teeth of his after.
They reached the apartment and they hauled his luggage to the corner of bedroom. Eren would unpack slowly, putting away his things among Levi's, making this his home as well. Eren thought the place would not truly be his until he placed his silly mementos from Germany all over it.
Eren sighed as he hanged his coat and slumped on the couch they had picked out together. Future was open to them. He wanted to travel with Levi around the world and to look for a job to help paying the rent. He looked forward to growing old next to his Heichou. He would never get over the fact that he had found him and had gotten a second chance. He would thank the gods of the universe for the rest of his life. He watched as the older man came into the small living room as well.
Levi's thoughts were in the same area. He could not wait to be able to wake up or fall asleep next to the brat every day for the rest of his life. He had gotten what he had always secretly hoped for. There was no war, no one to threaten their lives and if there was would take care of it before Eren would even know of it. He didn't need to be scared of losing Eren every single day.
Levi sat next to him, glancing around to see where his son had gone before stealing a quick kiss from Eren. Old habits die-hard, Eren mused to himself. Levi took hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly. He looked into the green eyes that he could not get enough of. "Welcome home."
Eren smiled back at him. "I'm home." It was a good feeling to finally be where he belonged to and there he would remain until he took his last breath.
Notes:
I really doubted myself over these few days that I was "unable" to write because of my little trip to Stockholm and back(not that I actually even saw Stockholm). After fighting with myself, having a row inside my head, I decided to go with my original plan of ending this. I could write more and more but I have a feeling that this will lose it's taste like a gum does after you chew it for too long. So, the epilogue should be up tomorrow or any day after that.
I really need to get working cos I have Blind Date to update, Truth or Dare's 3rd part needs to be typed out and then I have 2 other one-shots to write. God, I'm gonna die before Xmas.
Chapter 51: Epilogue
Notes:
This is it. The End is here. I'm gonna post a long "full of feels" -post on Tumblr about this. So btw, you can find me on Tumblr: daktasinsanity
I will post new fics, updates and stuff in there and ramble on about how my feet are cold or something. :D (I like to ramble)
Btw, Eren is 38 and Levi is 51 .. in this epilogue if I counted correctly.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
15 years later
"Dad!"
Levi groaned. He did not want to get up yet. Go away, he thought as he heard the second, "Dad!"
"Eren, make him go away," Levi grunted sleepily, burying himself further into the covers.
"He's your son, not mine," Eren followed him, snuggling to Levi's side.
"DAD!" The angry young man shouted, banging their bedroom door open. "Get your hung over ass out of the bed or we will be late!"
"Yup, definitely your son," Eren said, rolling away from his husband. He would leave Levi deal with angry and not-so-little-anymore-Eren.
Levi groaned again, sitting up. He admitted he had drank maybe a bit too much last night. "Ok, ok I heard you already." He flung his legs out of the comfortable bed as his son stomped away like an angry rhino. "Eren," he reached over to poke his husband's ass. "Get up, we need to get to get going."
"Just five more minutes."
Levi hmph'd, making his way to the bathroom. His son was pacing in the living room nervously. "Cut that out or there will be a hole on the carpet," he said as he passed by. He glanced at the clock. There was still bloody two hours until they needed to get going. He murmured something about nervous twats under his breath as he went to perform his morning self-cleansing ritual.
When he exited the bathroom he found his husband drinking his morning coffee in the kitchen, munching on a biscuit.
"Were you as nervous as he is?" Eren asked, nodding his head towards the poor young man still pacing in the living room.
"Yes," he took some hot water that Eren every morning readied for him without a word if he got out of bed first. Levi made his tea just the way he liked it, putting in his favourite honey. He savoured the sweet taste.
Eren walked over to him where he was leaning against the counter. "Let's hope they'll be as happy as we have been," Eren said, kissing his forehead.
"Indeed," Levi sighed, wrapping his arms around his waist, just happy to have Eren with him. It had been seventeen years since they had gotten married. It felt like it had only been a few years since then. Although only thing to remind him of the passage of time was how Eren had grown out of his boyish features. He was more bulkier if he dared to say, a grown man. His eyes stayed the same throughout the years. Levi could read all his emotions from the swirling green orbs no matter how Eren sometimes tried to hide his true feelings.
"I'll go and talk to him, maybe he'll calm down somewhat," Eren said, quickly stealing a kiss from Levi's lips, winking at him as he went to the living room.
"Are you nervous?" he asked the young man although it was pointless.
"Uncle! You have no idea!" Little Eren ran his hands through his hair.
His "uncle" motioned towards the couch. "Sit down with me."
"Eren," the older man started. "There is no need to be nervous."
"But, I can't help it. What if she realizes that we don't belong together and runs away with my best man or something!"
Eren had to laugh. "Sorry, kid," he said. "She won't. She wouldn't dare if she has any respect towards her own life. Levi will skin her, you know, if she runs away now."
"Oh god," little Eren cried out softly.
Eren patted the younger one on his back. "Everything is going to be alright. You are finally marrying her. Your life together is just about to start. No need to fret."
"How do you guys make it last?"
Eren pondered for a while what to say. "Well, our relationship was not normal to begin with. When we first met, the world was in chaos and we made the most of it. So living in peaceful times is like a paradise compared to that. There is nothing else we could have asked for. " They had told little Eren their story almost a decade ago when he had started to question some weird things they said. They had not even noticed that had been talking about the past around him until he had pointed it out.
"My mother said to me when I was getting married to your father that marriage is not about oneself but your partner. You are marrying her, not yourself. It won't work if you think about yourself and what you get out of it. You are supposed to do it to make her happy."
The young man looked at him with awe. "I did not think about it in that way."
"You should. It helped me because I was insecure about the marriage because of you and your mother. If I had not listened to my mother I wouldn't have married your father."
"Thank you, Uncle," little Eren said, clasping his hands.
Eren ruffled his hair. "Have you taken a shower? Take another one to calm your nerves. I'll help you dress up after or we can wait for your mother to arrive."
"She'll only fuss around. Thank you." With that he left to take a shower.
Levi joined Eren in the living room after he had finished his morning tea.
"How's the headache?" Eren asked and got a displeased grunt as a reply. "You shouldn't have drunk so much last night even if it was a celebration."
"I do as I please," Levi muttered.
"I've noticed."
"I'll drink it away tonight."
Eren had to chuckle. "Of course you will."
Levi's weight slumped against Eren's shoulder. "He's in the shower?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm," Levi hummed. "What do you say about a quick morning shag?"
Eren laughed out loud. "You know that Lena and Dave are going to be here soon." Dave was little Eren's best man and would be arriving any minute now.
"Who cares," Levi crumbled.
"Can't you wait until after the wedding?" Eren kissed his temple. "We could relive our own wedding night tonight as well."
"You mean the wild sex before or after we went drinking?"
"Both?"
"Hmmm." Levi's hand slithered dangerously on Eren's thigh. He growled obscenities under his breath when the doorbell rang. "Fuck them for interrupting my fantasies." He did get up from the couch reluctantly to open the door to his ex-wife. She stood there with her new husband George.
Lena was chirpy, so much so that Levi escaped into their bedroom to get a moment of peace and quiet. His headache was not gone yet so he wished to relished every quiet moment he could get before it left him alone.
Eren on the other hand helped little Eren with dressing and kept Lena from fussing too much about how his hair should look and if his tie was crooked or not.
When it was almost time to go, Levi emerged from the bedroom dressed up in his suit. "Oi, Eren get yours on." Eren was dragged into the bedroom by his husband.
"You should say something to calm your son's nerves. He looks a bit pale even after I talked to him," Eren said as he pulled his suit pants on.
"He'll feel better when the ceremony begins and even better after it. He won't need me babying him through it."
And it turned out that Levi was right. They sat in the church and the groom looked relaxed next to his beautiful bride. The ceremony was just as beautiful and Eren tried to stay calm but memories just flooded in. He sincerely hoped Levi's son would have a happy marriage like they had. He also hoped that little Eren had understood what he meant when they had talked this morning.
Eren looked at Levi, smiling as he thought the little, every day things that Levi did or said that made everything worth it. Levi was not a romantic person but still he sometimes brought him a bouquet of flowers which he did not need to but they spoke more than his words did. He was always thinking about him, it was all Eren could ask for, to be there on Levi's mind every day.
Levi laced their fingers together, sparing Eren a glance before continuing to listen what was going on the altar. They had done what they wanted in their lives. They had gone around the world on several occasions, visited places they did not even know existed. Their home was filled with memories and mementos from those journeys. There had been hard times but they had always known that they could get through anything as long as they stayed together.
It was not worth to question if they trusted each other. Eren would do anything for Levi and vice versa. Eren never had to doubt his Heichou who would always be there, standing by his side, maybe not saying much but that didn't mean he didn't care. Eren did not need his words, his actions in the past, now and in the future would speak for themselves. Only thing he had to pray for was that he would be able to face death as an old man after living a full life with Levi. He'd die without regrets and hope for a new chance perhaps to continue where they'd left off in this life.
Eren squeezed Levi's fingers gently, making Levi look at him. Eternity together did not sound so bad.
Notes:
I want to thank everyone who has reviewed (and will review in the future). Every single one of the reviews has been read and some have left me speechless and some have warmed my heart so much that I've been unable to write for a while. I had some awesome feedback that I will remember for a long time. Thank you everyone. (I'm not gonna cry, not gonna cry) I love you guys.
I'll be back with something a bit different next.. maybe.. we'll see which one of my ideas I start working on.
Pages Navigation
Zibralatte on Chapter 1 Thu 31 Oct 2013 10:51AM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 1 Thu 31 Oct 2013 10:55AM UTC
Comment Actions
Ephesus on Chapter 1 Fri 13 Dec 2013 02:04AM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 1 Sat 14 Dec 2013 07:58AM UTC
Comment Actions
The_Fiction_Portal on Chapter 1 Sun 02 Apr 2017 06:06AM UTC
Comment Actions
nocanonhere on Chapter 4 Sun 13 Jul 2014 02:08AM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 4 Sun 13 Jul 2014 09:37AM UTC
Comment Actions
SwirlyKitty on Chapter 5 Tue 22 Oct 2013 04:21PM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 5 Tue 22 Oct 2013 05:17PM UTC
Comment Actions
lichti on Chapter 5 Mon 25 Nov 2013 04:49PM UTC
Comment Actions
Zibralatte on Chapter 5 Sun 06 Apr 2014 03:35PM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 5 Sun 06 Apr 2014 04:25PM UTC
Comment Actions
nocanonhere on Chapter 5 Sun 13 Jul 2014 02:11AM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 5 Sun 13 Jul 2014 09:36AM UTC
Comment Actions
halcyondays on Chapter 6 Tue 22 Oct 2013 09:47PM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 6 Wed 23 Oct 2013 12:31AM UTC
Comment Actions
hitomi6 on Chapter 6 Wed 23 Oct 2013 05:32AM UTC
Comment Actions
OSeiSan on Chapter 7 Thu 24 Oct 2013 12:18AM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 7 Thu 24 Oct 2013 03:59PM UTC
Comment Actions
OSeiSan on Chapter 8 Thu 24 Oct 2013 06:42PM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 8 Thu 24 Oct 2013 07:03PM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 9 Sun 19 Jan 2014 12:19PM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 9 Sun 19 Jan 2014 12:20PM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 9 Sun 19 Jan 2014 12:38PM UTC
Comment Actions
Chocobofever on Chapter 12 Mon 04 Nov 2013 01:44PM UTC
Comment Actions
riveren (Guest) on Chapter 16 Fri 01 Nov 2013 08:30AM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 16 Fri 01 Nov 2013 08:23PM UTC
Comment Actions
Zibralatte on Chapter 19 Sun 06 Apr 2014 08:55PM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 19 Sun 06 Apr 2014 09:01PM UTC
Comment Actions
princu on Chapter 20 Mon 04 Nov 2013 05:56PM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 20 Tue 05 Nov 2013 10:56AM UTC
Comment Actions
OSeiSan on Chapter 20 Mon 04 Nov 2013 09:43PM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 20 Tue 05 Nov 2013 10:55AM UTC
Comment Actions
Ephesus on Chapter 20 Thu 12 Dec 2013 12:31AM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 20 Thu 12 Dec 2013 05:43AM UTC
Comment Actions
Ephesus on Chapter 20 Thu 12 Dec 2013 10:03PM UTC
Comment Actions
Zibralatte on Chapter 20 Sun 06 Apr 2014 09:03PM UTC
Comment Actions
Daktasinsanity on Chapter 20 Sun 06 Apr 2014 09:43PM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation