Archive of Our Own ^beta

Works which have used it as a tag:

• band of the silly willies by jazzically

  Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)  

  • Teen And Up Audiences
  • Major Character Death
  • Gen
  • Work in Progress

  22 Oct 2025

  Tags

  • Major Character Death
  • Oliver Banks/Michael "Mike" Crew
  • Minor or Background Relationship(s)
  • Annabelle Cane & Jane Prentiss
  • everyone is either friends or enemies but im adding jannabelle specifically
  • because they took over the fic i can feel myself slipping away please send h
  • Everyone & Everyone
  • blink-and-you-miss-it Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
  • Jane Prentiss
  • Oliver Banks
  • Elias Bouchard | Jonah Magnus
  • Jonah Magnus
  • Agnes Montague
  • Nikola Orsinov
  • Jude Perry
  • Callum Brodie
  • Annabelle Cane
  • Michael | The Distortion (The Magnus Archives)
  • Helen | The Distortion (The Magnus Archives)
  • Alfred Grifter
  • IM SORRY THERES A LOT OF CHARACTERS
  • Jared Hopworth
  • Hezekiah Wakely
  • Simon Fairchild
  • Peter Lukas
  • Maxwell Rayner
  • Stranger Entities Breekon and Hope (The Magnus Archives)
  • Other Character Tags to Be Added
  • Mikaele Salesa
  • Michael "Mike" Crew
  • Jurgen Leitner
  • Manuela Dominguez
  • Melanie King
  • in this world michael and helen are siblings kinda sorta
  • time is for the weak
  • Texting
  • Chatting & Messaging
  • Chatlogs
  • avatar groupchat
  • bullying and alliances. the gc is a warzone
  • Crack
  • Comedy
  • its funny i promise
  • they just talk shit
  • All the time
  • Communication
  • canon-typical vast and corruption content
  • Spoilers for all of TMA
  • Homophobic Vase Mention
  • He/Him and It/Its Pronouns for Michael | The Distortion (The Magnus Archives)
  • It/Its and She/Her Pronouns for Helen | The Distortion (The Magnus Archives)
  • he/him and they/them pronouns for oliver banks
  • groupchat
  • Temporary Character Death
  • Some Plot
  • basically select parts of canon from avatar pov
  • canon-typical dread powers content
  • Metaphysical Superiority Complex(es)
  • lighthearted arguing
  • chatfic
  • jane says y'all because author is american
  • and also i think its funny
  • Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
  • (only because i couldnt come up with a plausible way to blatantly ignore helens timeline)
  • i pledge allegiance to the principle of keeping nicknames clear
  • rated T for swearing and 12 year old boy jokes
  • i added the major character death tag but dont worry it will not be angsty

  Summary

  Jane Prentiss: wait lemme guess
  Jane Prentiss: the stuff that sings to u is spiders
  spider-woman: sort of its more like metaphorical spiders
  spider-woman: its all in the rules that i wrote for this exact purpose but nobody reads them
  judepetty: Annabelle do we have to go thru this every single time someone joins
  Jane Prentiss: OHHHH ok i get it now
  Jane Prentiss: so like theres 14
  Jane Prentiss: ill memorise this shit with an acronym i did this all the time in primary
  Jane Prentiss: no biggie
  Jane Prentiss: what i REALLY need is to come up with the worlds best fuckin nickname you have ever fuckin seen
  Jane Prentiss: give me a mo.
  spider-woman: take your time sweetie
  judepetty: There’s no way you’re beating mine. Bye.

  The Avatars are in a group chat.

  Language:

  English

  Words:

  24,229

  Chapters:

  11/?

  Comments:

  82

  Kudos:

  84

  Bookmarks:

  17

  Hits:

  857