Chapter Text
When Eddie got the text, he immediately rushed to him, not knowing what to expect, only that his best friend needed him.
They hadn’t really talked since—well, it didn’t matter. Buck needed him, and that was all that mattered. They could figure out the rest later.
He drove as quickly as traffic allowed, maybe breaking a few laws along the way; he had to get to him.
The parking lot was nearing on empty at the late hour, Eddie pulling into the closest spot available, throwing his beat-up truck into park. He walked through the glass doors, his head twisting every direction until it landed on a mop of blond. Eddie quickened his steps, walking right up to the other boy, stopping when he was just in front of him.
“Hey.”
Buck’s head flew up from where he’d been resting it down on one hand, his other arm hanging at an odd angle by his side. There was a decent sized gash on his forehead, his blues red rimmed and glistening with tears.
Eddie knelt down in front of him, placing his hands over Buck’s thighs, squeezing lightly in reassurance.
“Ev, hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”
Buck’s voice was raspy, thick with distraught as tears fell down his cheeks.
“I’m-sorry Eds. I-I fucked up everything like always. I know-I know you’re mad at me.”
Eddie sighed dejectedly, leaning further into his best friend; he hated that Buck felt this way about himself, and that he thought others did too. He deserved to be loved, taken care of.
“Hey, I’m not mad, ok?” Well, he was a little, just with Buck’s decisions, but not the boy himself. Eddie swallowed thickly. “Tell me what happened…. are you hurt?”
It was obvious that Buck was, Eddie just needed to know how badly.
Buck winced in pain as he tried to move the arm that had been hanging limply at his side, his face scrunching up from the movement; it was definitely broken.
Eddie moved his fingers to the arm, brushing lightly over the skin there, watching as Buck visibly relaxed for his touch.
“How long have you been here?”
Buck shrugged, mumbling something unintelligible. Glancing over to the clock, Eddie gave Buck another once over before standing. Buck immediately panicked, eyes widening as his good hand tightened around Eddie’s.
“I’ll be right back, ok? Just gonna see how much longer.”
Eddie gave Buck’s hand another squeeze before Buck finally let him go, unwillingly, Eddie heading to the front desk to see what was going on. He was sure Buck had a concussion just from his appearance alone, Buck seeming in a dazed state of mind. There was also the fact that Buck could barely seem to keep his eyes open, those blues continuously fluttering closed as Eddie had sat in front of him.
The man up front said it would only be another fifteen minutes or so, assuring him that Buck was in fact on the list. Eddie didn’t quite buy it, and was thinking of causing more of a scene when he heard a retching sound behind him.
He quickly grabbed for the nearby trashcan, placing it in front of Buck just in time. Yep, definitely a concussion.
As Buck heaved again, Eddie rubbed a soothing hand over his back, whispering words of reassurance in between. It had been a while since they’d been this close, affectionate. Ever since Buck found out the news, well—it had created a distance between them, one Eddie wasn’t sure how to close. Even so, Eddie couldn’t stop himself. Buck needed him, and Eddie wasn’t going to deny either of them the comfort.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a nurse appeared with a clipboard, calling out, “Evan Buckley?”
Eddie helped Buck stand, cautious of his bad arm as he went. Buck wavered as he stood, Eddie holding him up, keeping him close. When they reached the open door, Buck turned to him anxiously.
“Please—don’t—will, will you—come with me?”
He knew it was probably just Buck’s pain talking, that he didn’t really need Eddie, but still.
Eddie pulled in his bottom lip, glancing from Buck to the nurse. He really should go now that Buck was getting treated and in good hands; he really shouldn’t make things more complicated than they already were.
One look at his best friends pouty, yet adorable face, was all it took, Eddie simply following behind him, letting the nurse guide them back to a room. It wasn’t like he was needed anywhere else anyway; at least, that’s what he told himself.
He watched as Buck sat on the bed, the nurse taking a few of his vitals before asking him a series of questions, ones Eddie was interested in hearing the answers to himself.
“How did this happen son?”
Buck stammered out something unintelligible, rubbing at his head where the cut was, causing it to bleed more. Eddie absently reached out to grab his wrist, pulling it away, keeping their fingers linked together over Buck’s thigh afterwards.
“Uh-I’m…I don’t-don’t really remember.”
The nurse nodded, marking something on the chart. It was obvious she didn’t believe him; Eddie didn’t either.
After a few more questions, one’s Buck mumbled his way through, the nurse left the room, leaving them alone. Eddie immediately got down to Buck’s level, looking straight into his bloodshot blues.
“Don’t bullshit me Evan. What the hell happened?”
Buck bit at his fingertips, looking anywhere but at Eddie, tears pooling in his eyes once more.
The doctor came in before Eddie could get any more out of him, but he didn’t move away from Buck, not even when the other boy squeezed his hand tightly as his anxiety set in.
The doctor assessed Buck’s wounds, confirming that his arm was in fact broken, and that he had a slight concussion as well. Buck seemed even less surprised by the diagnoses than Eddie, which wasn’t the least bit reassuring.
After Buck’s arm was casted and his head wound steri-stripped, the doctor told Buck how to take care of everything, handing off paperwork.
The doctor looked Buck over once more, glancing to Eddie before focusing back on Buck.
“Look kid, I patched you up, but legally I can’t release you given that you’re a minor. You’re gonna need to call your parents or legal guardian.”
While Eddie snorted Buck tensed up. He was no doubt hiding whatever had happened from his parents, not that they would give a shit anyway. Eddie knew that Maddie wasn’t around either, Buck essentially on his own.
“I’m eighteen.”
At Eddie’s announcement, the doctor looked him over.
“Listen son, I can’t—”
There was a knock on the door before a nurse was entering, asking for the doctor’s attention. The doctor held their finger up, signaling they’d be just a minute. They glanced between Buck and Eddie once more, a sigh falling past their lips.
“I need to go attend to this, but maybe if you two aren’t here when I return, I will pretend not to notice.”
With that, the doctor walked out, leaving the door ajar. It was all Eddie needed. He grabbed up Buck’s paperwork, doubting the other boy would read through them anyway.
“C’mon, let’s get out of here.”
Buck let Eddie take him by the good arm, Eddie maneuvering them through the hospital and out to his truck. Buck stayed close to his side, his casted arm hung in a sling; he looked adorably miserable.
Once they reached his truck, Eddie opened the passenger side, helping Buck get situated. As he reached across to buckle him in, Buck grabbed onto his forearm, stilling Eddie for just a second as he winced in pain; Eddie would do anything to take it away. Eddie waited for it to pass, smoothing out the seatbelt before stepping back and closing the door, rounding to his side.
They sat for a moment, neither saying a thing, Buck’s labored breathing filling the silence. Eddie started the truck, guiding them out of the hospital parking lot and onto the road.
They remained silent as Eddie drove. Eddie figured he wouldn’t get any more out of Buck for the night, so he was surprised when Buck let out a heavy sigh before confessing all of it.
“I wrecked my bike…uh-totaled it, actually.”
Eddie sighed to himself; he knew that motorcycle had been a bad idea the moment he’d seen Buck ride up on it the week before—he did look damn good on it though.
Without asking, Eddie could easily guess what had caused Buck to be so reckless—something to do with his parents—Buck no doubt driving at some high speed as he’d went.
“Your parents are assholes. I wish—I wish you would’ve called me instead.”
I wish you would’ve called me instead of letting them get to you, instead of riding so reckless you’d hurt yourself. I wish we weren’t so distant so I would’ve known what was going on.
Eddie knew it was a shit thing that he’d settled on saying—not about Bucks parents, they were assholes—but it wasn’t fair for him to say that to Buck, not when he was—
“You’re leaving.”
Yea, that.
Maddie had left the year prior to be with her boyfriend, and now Eddie was going too, leaving Buck infinitely alone with his shitty parents. It wasn’t what Eddie wanted; there just wasn’t another way. Eddie’s parents weren’t all that grand either.
He pulled his truck into Buck’s drive, cutting the engine, the two of them sitting there in silence.
“Are they home?”
Buck shook his head. “They left after—Dads got a conference or some shit.”
Eddie could infer for himself that Buck’s parents had taken off after whatever disagreement they’d had, not even bothering to check on Buck before leaving.
Eddie told himself he’d just walk Buck to the door, maybe help get him situated before leaving—he couldn’t stay, shouldn’t.
Buck led the way, using his good arm to open the door, instantly heading for the stairs, presumably to his room. Eddie went for the kitchen, grabbing out an ice-pack and a bottle of water, shaking a couple of pain meds into his hand before making his own way up the stairs. He found Buck struggling to undress himself, all but tripping over his own feet.
“Sit.”
Buck narrowed his eyes, but did as Eddie said, sitting on the edge of his bed with a sigh of defeat.
Eddie bent to unlace his signature white shoes first, Buck lifting his hips as Eddie reached for the waistband of his pants, sliding them down Buck’s body until they hit the floor. This wasn’t the first, or even third time, Eddie had undressed him—there were too many to count—but it still gave him chills, like they were entering that grey area they could never seem to escape.
Standing back up, Buck ducked his head as Eddie removed the sling from around his neck. With his arm freed, Eddie held it carefully while pulling Bucks good arm out of the shirt first. Eddie lifted it over Buck’s head, then slowly slid it off of Buck’s other arm and down to the floor.
Buck’s clothes were dirty and matted with blood, Eddie wondering once again exactly what had happened. He was sure he didn’t want to know. Eddie could barely handle seeing how Buck looked currently, let alone what he’d done to injure himself on his bike.
Pushing the dirtied clothes to the side, Eddie focused on Buck who was now just in a pair of boxers, his best friend somehow looking small even though he was over six feet tall.
There were scrapes, bruises, and dried blood coating Buck’s skin, Eddie gently pushing the other boy back to the bed while he made his way to the bathroom, reappearing with a wet washcloth. A shower would’ve been better, but Buck was bone tired, not to mention it would be difficult with his broken arm. This would just have to do.
Buck’s eyes had fallen closed, the boy startling a little for the wet cloth, though Eddie had made sure to use warm water, Buck quickly leaning into the touch.
Gently, Eddie wiped Buck’s wounds, apologizing every time Buck winced or hissed out in pain.
“It’s not your fault.”
Eddie moved the rag to Buck’s face, dabbing at some dried blood near his birthmark.
“Yea, well I don’t like seeing you in pain.”
Buck ducked away at that, Eddie placing two fingers to Buck’s chin to twist him back, rubbing off the rest of the blood there.
Eddie gave buck a once over, deciding it was as good as it was going to get. He took the cloth back to the bathroom and rinsed it out, washing his hands before returning to Buck, the boy now sat up on his bed. He looked small, cold, fragile.
Eddie only debated with himself a moment before shrugging his hoodie off and stepping back into Buck’s space. Wide blues met him once more, Eddie instructing Buck to duck his head before he slipped the material over it, careful of Buck’s arm once more. He knew a button up or no shirt at all would be easier; he also knew how much Buck loved hoodies, especially from Eddie. Buck had stolen his too many times to count, claiming they were somehow softer. Eddie guessed it was more from the comforting scent, Eddie having stolen Buck’s for the same reason. He never brought it up though, always too afraid to cross those invisible lines.
After putting Buck’s casted arm back into the sling, Eddie handed over the pills and water, Buck not even fighting him as he swallowed them down, crawling onto his bed after. Those blues closed almost instantly, the weight of Buck’s accident finally taking over. Eddie reached for the extra pillows, sliding one under Bucks casted arm to help prop it up. Buck reached aimlessly with his good hand, longing to find Eddie’s, grasping onto it tightly when they connected.
“Stay?”
It was a tiny plea, Eddie biting at his lip with hesitation. He didn’t know whether Buck meant now or in general; it was probably a little of both.
“Buck I—”
“You can’t leave m’alone with concussion.”
And well, he had a point. Eddie rolled his eyes with a fondness; he hated to admit that Buck was right.
Eddie relented, bending to remove his own shoes and jeans before sliding onto the bed, Buck blindly reaching for him again, pouting when his hand collided with Eddie’s t-shirt.
“Mmm too many clothes for snuggling.”
Eddie knew that would seal the deal; once there weren’t as many barriers between them, Eddie wouldn’t be able to leave—he never could after that. It was almost impossible before, but after, well, Eddie usually ran out of reasons to say no.
Buck pulled on his shirt again, his blues opening to plead with Eddie.
“Evan.”
Buck didn’t say anything else, simply stared Eddie down with his baby blues until he got what he wanted, Eddie shrugging his shirt off before pulling him in close, rucking up his sweatshirt that Buck was wearing so they were pressed together, skin to skin.
“You’re such a brat.”
Buck only nuzzled closer, his breath ghosting over Eddie’s lips, begging Eddie to take that last step.
“Ev, please don’t make this harder than it already is.”
Buck’s lips were all but touching his, their noses pressed together. Buck was all around him, voice pleading.
“Just one Eds, please.”
That was the problem. It was never just one; once they dove into the world of each other, it was almost impossible to stop—they could never get enough. Not enough kisses, touches, or sweet sounds made between them would ever be enough; if there was one thing they never tired of, it was each other.
As Bucks lips pressed into his, Eddie knew he should move away, should’ve just dropped him and gone home, but he’d stayed, letting himself fall that much further.
Their lips crashed together as Eddie leaned in to meet him, hands wrapping around Buck’s neck to pull him in closer. Bucks casted arm came to rest over Eddies side, while his other one snaked beneath Eddie, pulling at his tufts of hair. Eddie didn’t let things go further, for multiple reasons, but mostly because Buck needed his rest.
He pressed a chaste kiss to the boys’ lips before pulling back a fraction.
“Sleep. I’ll be right here.”
Those piercing blues looked up to him, radiating in the dark of the night as he whispered out.
“Promise?”
Eddie did the thing he always did when words failed him, pressing into their matching marks, one’s they’d gotten together a few months back. Eddie rubbed his thumb over Buck’s softly, the other boy humming into his touch. The skin was still raised there, a reminder of what had happened. It wasn’t quite a promise, but it was something that tethered them to each other forever, no matter how far apart they were. Familiar lyrics came to mind, Eddie closing his eyes, losing himself to the memory for a moment.
‘When I lose my grip you pull me back, then I’ll gravitate toward your madness’
He tried not to think about how accurate the lyrics were to their current situation.
Buck’s breath fanned across his face as he mumbled something aloud, Eddie asking him to repeat what he’d said.
“M’need him.”
Eddie only questioned what Buck meant for a second before he blindly reached behind himself, hands touching the soft plushie he knew Buck desired. Placing it between them, Buck used his good arm to grip both the stuffy and Eddie, relaxing into them. It made Eddie’s heart swoon a little.
Of all the moments they’d shared together, this wouldn’t be the one Eddie would pick to stay in forever, but any night that ended with them together was better than the alternative.
He couldn’t stay, but he couldn’t leave; every right decision he made felt wrong. Sometimes, staying was harder than leaving, because staying meant that this was real, that they were real.
It wasn’t something that either of them was ready for; maybe they never would be. If Eddie didn’t go now, he knew he never would. The longer he stayed, wrapped up in Buck, their faces pressed closely together, the worse it would be—for both of them.
It was a shitty way to leave him, but if he caught sight of those dazzling blues, it would be over. There were few things in life Eddie didn’t have control over, his best friend being one of them.
As he slid out from the other boy, his arms instantly felt empty, a void that no one else could ever fill. He could pretend it wasn’t real, that what they had didn’t matter, didn’t exist. In the end, it was the only thing that’d ever made him feel alive, like he was fighting for something rather than against.
It took courage to stay; he felt weak for walking away.
~