Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Charlie arched his back, making sure his head was tilted, exposing the long line of his neck, giving the people what they wanted. The man fucking into him, Jeremy, had his hands around Charlie’s slim waist, digging his fingers in hard enough to bruise. Moaning, maybe a little too theatrically, Charlie focused on keeping his face in pleasure mode and not the uncomfortably warm sensation he was currently feeling. Jeremy wasn’t terrible, he was fucking into Charlie with a steady rythm, but Charlie’s pleasure was not a concern. The cockcage that Ben had put on him nearly four hours ago was keeping his erection at bay, and even if it wasn’t there, he long stopped deriving any real pleasure from being fucked like this.

“So tight,” Jeremey cooed, he looked at Charlie and then his eyes went to Ben, who stood filming by the side of the bed. They had so many cameras set up around them, above him, beside him and then Ben was filming with his phone too. Ben would edit them all together later for the actual video, but he kept the POV ones he filmed for bonus paid for content. “Can I come in him?” Jeremy asked, Ben, not Charlie, of course.

“Yeah, he loves that, right, baby?”

Charlie, really, really didn’t. He wasn’t fond of doing this without protection, even after the STI tests but Ben had been right, most of their fans wanted barebacking. Charlie had been on PreP for ages,and it seemed most of their fellow sex workers were as well. Still didn’t always make him feel good about having unprotected sex with strangers, but apparently it came with the job.

The creampie element was annoying, he hated the feeling itself, but also the idea of these men, the ones he’d never see again, leaving something in him was just… too much.

“Yes,” Charlie punched out in his best sultry voice. “Fill me up, darling.”

Jeremy picked up his pace, fingertips bruising Charlie’s skin, fucking into him harder and harder, until he stilled, pulsing inside Charlie. He called out Charlie’s name, it tampered off into a moan and Charlie copied his tone, trying to sound like this was enjoyable. Jeremy pulled out, Charlie kept his legs opened, making sure Ben had a good view of his hole.

“Can I get you off, baby?” Jeremy asked, eyeing Charlie’s caged cock.

“Only good boys get off,” Ben said, tsking. “And Charlie hasn’t proven to us he could be a good boy.”

Charlie nodded, propping himself up on his elbows, as Jeremy moved away and Ben came between his legs, filming the cum leaking from his hole, as he pushed it out. His face was flushed, from both sex and the mild humiliation of it. He was starting to feel exhausted, they’d been at it for a few hours now, starting off with Charlie on his knees for Jeremy before getting fucked in various postions around the bedroom.

Ben hummed, finally putting his phone down and then walked over to Jeremy, leaving Charlie alone. He let himself lay flat on the bed for a minute, collecting and recentering himself. He genuinely didn’t mind doing OnlyFans, he found it sort of liberating to show off the body he had hated and treated like an enemy for so many years. They did make good money too, Ben showed him their monthly earnings and it was more than enough for Charlie to make this his full time job. Ben only kept his job as a pretense, really, since no one knew about what they did behind their bedroom door.

Well, no one except for their thousands of paid subscribers.

Back when they started three years ago, it was just him and Ben fumbling around on their phones, making terrible pornography that people seemed to enjoy anyway. When Ben upped the production value, he saw it return tenfold in viewership and money, which also invited more people to send in requests.

The first time they brought in a third, it had been exhilarating, a new dynamic that Charlie thought brought a lot to what they were doing. They’d discussed boundaries before, especially when requests started pouring in for Charlie to do a lot of sexual (and sometimes oddly, nonsexual things) and Ben was respectful of them.

To a degree.

Like the creampie thing, it wasn’t on Charlie’s no list, but he didn’t like it very much. If he really wanted to opt out, it was an easy thing, but it felt like so many people, partners and fans alike, were really into the idea. Charlie supposed he might be too, if it wasn’t his body maybe.

He knew, as soon as Ben saw Jeremy out, he’d come over and fuck Charlie too. Going live for their top OnlyFans fans, because they all really liked the whole sloppy seconds thing. Charlie would get to orgasm, as long as no one requested he didn’t, and then he would finally be able to decompress for the night while Ben edited the video.

He heard the sounds of Ben returning, lifting himself on his elbows to watch him unzip his trousers and pull off his pants, coming to bed naked. Ben was rarely fully on camera now, only showing up on full shots with himself or other people. Even then, Ben made an effort to hide his face pretty often, Charlie was the star of the show.

“Can you go slow?” Charlie asked when Ben crawled on the bed, his phone not recording yet. “I'm still a bit sore from the other day.”

They usually filmed something five days, sometimes six a week. Charlie filmed pretty regularly now with other guys and on the days he wasn’t, they filmed all the video requests or top tier material. The other day he’d slept with two guys, followed by Ben yet again for their live stream and he was feeling a bit sensitive.

Ben snorted, getting his phone ready in his hands, aiming it at Charlie. “Sure, darling, just don’t act all whiny and in pain for the camera. We want everyone to know how much you enjoy it.”

Charlie gave his best pageant smile, as Ben started filming. “Good evening everyone,” Ben started. “I’ve got another treat for you all. Look at our favorite little twinky slut,” Ben said, the camera roaming over Charlie’s body. “Just got fucked and still wanting more, isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” Charlie said, fluttering his eyes and tilting his head to the side. “Can’t wait to for you to fuck me.”

Ben scooted back, to film Charlie’s hole, the cum oozed out, but still pooling. “Filled to the brim with another man’s cum, but still wanting more. Such a dirty little cumslut. Do we think he deserves to cum tonight?” Ben asked, sitting back up, getting ready to fuck him. His eyes were on his phone, clearly watching the messages from their fans come flooding in.

“Looks like the answer is no, sorry,” Ben laughed, aiming the camera at Charlie's caged cock. “Maybe tomorrow. Oh, I see one of our favourite patrons, Cas, has made a request for you to come tomorrow night on your favourite toy. Do you think you can wait that long?”

At this point in Charlie’s career, coming really wasn’t the end all be all. It was mostly just a means to an end, but he still had to play the part. He let out a whine. “But I wonna come,” he cooed. “You make me feel so good, I want to come on your cock.”

Ben’s face lit up, clearly Charlie had said the right thing. “The chat seems to think otherwise, Charlie. So be a good boy and listen to our lovely patrons.”

Charlie pouted, but let out a loud moan when Ben entered him. It was a bit unpleasant, a little achey from his previous activities but Ben honoured his request and went slow. Ben talked throughout, mostly answering the chat or relay things from them to Charlie. It didn’t take long before Ben was coming, thankfully someone had requested he paint Charlie’s face so he got to avoid another creampie.

When Ben finished, a lingering shot on Charlie’s cum covered face, he was off the bed in a flash, leaving Charlie sweaty and sticky on the bed. There was no romance to it, no emotional intimacy, Ben was in the shower before Charlie even got out of bed. The flat had two loos, thankfully, so Charlie went to the spare one to shower and finally rid himself of any remaining bits of sex. He was able to take the cage off, Ben didn’t really care what he did when they weren’t filming. He could come all he wanted to in the shower, if he felt remotely up for it.

They only had the illusion of a dom/sub type of relationship, it was all for show. They rarely had sex without filming anymore either, which made sense. Who’d want to fuck on the side, when it was basically your job? When Charlie was finally feeling clean, he put on a soft pair of joggers and a jumper he’d borrowed from Nick the week before. He got into the terrible habit of borrowing his best friend’s (and down the hall neighbour's) jumpers, rarely returning them unless Nick actually asked him for it. And even then, Charlie would likely snatch it back at some point after.

When he got his phone from the bedroom, Ben was already on his laptop working away on the video from yesterday, which would go up first thing next week.

“I’m going to go to Nick’s,” Charlie said. “If that’s okay?”

“Whatever,” Ben said, not looking up.

Charlie was out of the room before Ben really even finished his word. It wasn’t like he wanted or needed Ben’s permission, but he liked to be nice about it. He’d met Nick a few weeks after they’d moved in. He was carrying some bags in from shopping when Nick spotted him and offered to help. Since he was a big guy, Charlie readily agreed, letting Nick carry his groceries into the flat. They started talking then, just randomly, and before he knew it, they were seeking each other out. They were sort of opposites on paper, Nick was a bisexual former rugby player turned teacher who lived with his dog Daisy and loved all things Marvel and F1. Charlie was a geeky gay twink, with a useless degree in Classics who let people fuck him for a living.

And yet, they really hit it off. Nick was just easy to talk to and it was clear he really listened to what Charlie had to say. The OnlyFans thing had been a secret Charlie kept from everyone, friends and family, but he found himself confiding in Nick a few months into knowing each other. A little embarrassing but Nick was supportive and promised he’d never, ever look at the channel.

He made his way down the hallway, knocking on Nick’s door, bouncing on the balls of his feet. He heard Daisy dash towards the door, then Nick’s voice telling her to calm down. When the door opened, he dropped to his knees to pet the golden retriever who was rushing to lick his face.

“Hello my sweet girl,” Charlie cooed, petting her and letting the dog kiss him. “Missed you.”

“You saw her two days ago,” Nick said as Charlie stood up and took a step inside. Nick held his arms open and Charlie went in for his normal Nelson Hug, the one that cured all of Charlie’s problems within seconds. “Hi, Char,” Nick said into his shoulder, his strong arms wrapping around him, pulling him close.

“Hi Nick.”

They stood in their hug for a long time, before Daisy finally booped their legs enough for them to part. Wordlessly, they walked over to the sofa, sitting on their respective sofa ends. Nick tossed his favourite blanket and for the first time all day, Charlie relaxed.

“How was your day?” Nick asked. “Do you want tea in a bit? Supper?”

“Tea and supper would be nice, but can we just chill?” Charlie asked. “And it was good, a lot but I don’t have anything for the next two days. How was your day?”

“Good, the kids are excited about the holiday break, it’s hard to contain them when they know they are almost free for a few weeks,” Nick said. “I’m going to visit Mum in two weeks.”

“Oh, that’s nice, tell Sarah I said hi,” Charlie answered.

“You can come too, if you’d like.”

In what could only be a novel coincidence, as it turned out Nick grew up ten minutes from Charlie’s house, they just hadn’t attended the same secondary school. There were probably a million chances and ways they could have met but they managed to find themselves living in the same flat complex just outside of London. Nick had this whole thing about fate and the universe, none of which Charlie liked to think about. If the two of them were truly fated to meet, it probably would have happened so much sooner and honestly, in much better circumstances.

Charlie actually thought about it for a second, about going back with Nick. He hadn’t visited his parents in awhile but without his siblings as a buffer, he quickly dismissed it. His mum might have gotten better over the years, but Charlie’s “no job” status seemed to upset her more and more. They thought he was relying on Ben and Charlie had discussed getting a part-time job, or maybe even lying about something to his parents just to appease them. But Ben didn’t like the idea and he was really too busy for actual part-time work when it came down to it.

That, and who knew if he’d end up working with someone who’d seen his OnlyFans. The thought made him want to rip his own skin off.

“Nah,” Charlie said eventually. “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t feel like getting lectured by my mum.”

“You can stay with us,” Nick offered. “You don’t even have to visit your parents. You can just visit with my mum and Henry.”

Hanging out with Nick’s mum and dog seemed very appealing but he shook his head. “Maybe next time? Or over the holiday, I at least want to see Sarah again.”

Charlie had met Nick’s wonderful mum when she first came up from Kent to visit with Nick. She was a kind and warm woman, the direct opposite of everything his own mum was. Nick didn’t bring up going out to Kent again, thankfully, knowing Charlie wasn’t fond of being pushed about that sort of thing. Nick was always great with stuff like this, he never pushed back if Charlie wasn’t up for talking about something. But at the same time, he was a comfort.

Nick made them sandwiches for supper, not the best meal but Charlie was feeling a bit wonky. He chalked it up to the soreness from the fucking he’d been doing, and the fact that lately he’d been so stuck in his own head. Nick was aware of Charlie’s eating disorder and while Charlie remained in recovery, Nick had always been really sensitive to his needs. Seemingly catching on without words when Charlie needed easy safe food and never making a big deal out of it.

After supper they played Mario Kart for an hour, Daisy squished between the two of them as they jostled around, giggling and shouting as loud as they could dare. When it was time to go finally, Charlie hovered by the front door.

“Alright?” Nick asked softly.

“Yeah,” Charlie said, nodding. “Long day, just exhausted.”

“Want me to text you when I’m ready to,” he paused and looked at Daisy, making Charlie giggle. “You know what with you know who?”

“Yes please," Charlie answered, leaning down to pat Daisy goodbye, before getting his goodbye hug from Nick. He took his time walking down the short hallway, preparing himself for whatever snide remark Ben might have. He didn’t like Nick, always making comments about how clear it was that Nick was into him. Which Charlie knew himself and Charlie was very aware he was also into Nick.

They never acted on it, Nick never suggested anything, even after he found out he was sleeping with other men for their account. They were both very clear of the line, the boundary set there and neither of them wanted to ruin what had become an important friendship.

But that didn’t stop Ben from being a dick about it.

When Charlie walked back into their flat, the lights were off, a sign that Ben was finished for the day. He walked into their bedroom, Ben was in bed on his phone, not even looking up as Charlie walked in.

“The video’s good,” Ben offered. “Jeremy’s performance wasn’t that great, but you sold it.”

“That’s good, I suppose,” Charlie answered. Ben didn’t ask him how he felt about the performance but he agreed. “I don’t think I’d want him again, to be honest.”

“Fair, he’s not that popular anyways.”

Charlie hummed, removing his clothing and changing into shorts and a shirt for bed. He crawled in, plugging in his phone and laying back. They didn’t sleep in the same bed they filmed in, thankfully. They used their spare room for their studio and it was a relief not to be in there. Charlie could turn this brain off a lot easier without the knowledge of what he’d been doing surrounding him.

“Goodnight,” Charlie said softly, turning off his bed side lamp. He waited a moment before rolling over, hoping Ben would lean over and kiss him.

But he didn’t. Instead he hummed, his eyes still glued to his phone and Charlie closed his eyes, waiting for sleep.

The first time Nick ever laid eyes on Charlie Spring, he was instantly smitten. It was hard not to be, with his dark curls, slim figure, sharp cutting cheekbones and magnetic blue eyes. He had rushed to help Charlie carry in his groceries and when Charlie invited him in, he was even more smitten with the polite smile showing off the cutest pair of dimples Nick had ever seen. Admittedly, what started as lust at first sight, morphed into something else entirely. Even after a few minutes of talking, Nick could tell Charlie was smart and witty and just a bit of a sarcastic menace.

And then he found out Charlie had a boyfriend, and he instantly felt bad for even thinking remotely romantic things about him. He’d thought Charlie would want to keep his distance, but instead they fell into a friendship that made Nick’s life exceptionally better. He didn’t grow up having many best friends and Charlie fit into a spot he wasn’t aware had been vacant.

Even as they got closer, he always knew that there were things Charlie kept from him. He was an incredibly open and kind person, but he was equally reserved. Nick never wanted to push, he felt like things were on a balance, Charlie would tell him in time, he just had to remain trustworthy.

His suspicions had been confirmed one night when he received a text from Charlie close to 11:00pm. They usually talked pretty late into the night, but this time, Charlie was asking if he could stop by.

Nick readily agreed, already concerned before he opened his door to find Charlie, face red, tears already streaked down his cheeks, with his arms crossed over himself. He looked small, something Nick had never thought of him being before.

Selfishly, he hoped maybe him and Ben had broken up

“Sorry,” he said in a hoarse voice. “Ben and I got into a row and I had nowhere else to go.”

“Are you okay?” Nick asked. “Come in, please.” He moved aside, letting Charlie take a step inside, as Daisy came over to her favourite person. Charlie usually greeted her, but he didn’t, instead he stood there, body collapsed in on itself.

Nick was about to hug him, when Charlie moved in a rush to the sofa, sitting down in the middle, somehow still curled into himself. Daisy jumped up, bumping her nose into his arm, to Nick’s happiness he did reach over and start petting her. Nick came to sit next to him, Charlie laying his head on his shoulder as soon as he was there.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now,” Charlie said. “Can we just sit here, please?”

“Anything you need.”

Charlie seemed to have settled a bit after that, resting more of his body onto Nick and encouraging Daisy to rest her head on his lap. Nick watched as he pet her, his long fingers nestled into her fur and could feel the tension slowly defuse from him.

“Ben asked me,” he started, clearing his throat slightly. “To do something I didn’t want to and… I told him that. I was being selfish and he got rightfully upset.”

“Okay,” Nick said slowly. “But you said you didn't want to do whatever it was he asked you to do?”

“No.”

“Then I think it’s fair you told him that.”

“You don’t get it,” Charlie said in a huff, lifting his head from Nick’s shoulder, adjusting so his body was facing him a bit better and Nick did the same. “It’s complicated.”

“Okay,” Nick said simply, leaving as much room as he could for Charlie to explain himself. He always had the feeling that people had pushed Charlie his whole life and Nick didn’t want to be like that with him.

“If I tell you this, you have to promise me two things.”

Nick nodded. “Of course.”

“You can’t tell anyone else and you can’t go… you can’t look for it.”

Not sure what Charlie could possibly be ready to tell him, Nick nodded. “As long as you’re safe, okay? If you tell me something and you’re in danger, I’m going to-”

“I’m not,” Charlie cut him off. “I’m safe, I promise.”

Charlie didn’t speak again for at least two minutes, while Nick tried to keep his nerves and breathing to a normal level. Charlie had told him about his past with an eating disorder and self-harm; even then he sounded so much surer of himself and not embarrassed or scared at all. Not like he did right now, this felt like something much bigger and much scarier for both of them.

“Ben and I have an OnlyFans account. We, uh, have sex for money.” He spoke to his hands, not looking up at Nick at all.

At a loss for words, Nick didn’t say anything, just tried to school his expression and not look upset or surprised. He didn’t have any negative thoughts about sex workers, he wasn’t ashamed or angry at Charlie for what he was doing. He was mostly concerned about what Ben was forcing him to do that made Charlie this upset. When Nick didn’t say anything, Charlie continued, still talking to his hands as he fidgeted his fingers.

“I don’t mind what we do, I like it. We’ve been experimenting with doing other things and I’ve slept with other people, but it’s always been men. Ben suggested we try bringing in a woman, but I didn’t want to.”

“You’re gay,” Nick said, dumbly. “Of course you don’t want to have sex with a woman.”

Charlie nodded, looking up for a moment before back to his hands. “And Ben’s bi, and I’m fine with that, really. And if he wanted to sleep with someone and film it, then I’d be fine with that too. When it’s another guy it’s usually just me, I bottom exclusively and Ben tops exclusively. And he participates sometimes. I told him if he wanted to have sex with a woman, he could. I wouldn’t want to watch but I offered but he… he wants me to participate. He wanted to,” Charlie titled his head to the side, seemingly unsure if he wanted to voice to. “He wanted to fuck both of us and I’m not comfortable with that.”

“You did the right thing in saying no,” Nick answered, knowing he was treading over dangerous water here.

“But,” Charlie started, like he hadn’t even really heard what Nick had said. “That’s rude, right? He’s willing to let other men have sex with me but I won’t let him have sex with a woman? I’m not… I’m not being very kind or validating his sexual orientation.”

“And he’s not for you,” Nick pressed. “I get asking you once, but he should respect that you don’t want to be a part of it. You’re fine with him having sex with a woman, you just don’t want to be involved, that’s more than fair.”

“You don’t think I’m being biphobic?”

Throughout his life, Nick had dealt with biphobia coming from lots and lots of people. His own brother, his friends, his rugby mates, people he’d dated and even complete strangers. He’d heard everything possible and yet what came from Charlie was not anywhere in that same boat. Charlie was never, ever disrespectful or dismissive of him and he was certainly not being that way with Ben either.

“No,” Nick said firmly, reaching forward, taking Charlie’s hands in his. “You’re allowed to set boundaries, Charlie. It’s your life and your sexual preferences. I think what you’re saying sounds really fair to both of you. The kind of biophobia I’ve faced, it’s nothing like this. Okay? You’re being thoughtful and considerate of Ben but staying true to yourself.”

Tears welled up in Charlie’s eyes again and he lunged forward, toppling Nick over with the force of his hug. It was all Nick could do to just hold on, let Charlie cry into his shoulder, soothing him softly with a hand on his back.

Things changed after that, their relationship evolved into something much deeper and stronger. Charlie would come over most nights, utterly spent and exhausted, but come to life as they played video games, or watched the telly. He’d sometimes talk about the OnlyFans account and things he’d do, but it was usually on his terms and Nick never asked.

He had no problems with Charlie doing sex work, his only problem was with Ben Hope, to be honest.

He’d only met Ben a few times and on all occasions Ben was cold and calculating. He looked at Charlie like he was a piece of meat, not a person to love and cherish. Nick knew he could be reading into things, knew that his love for Charlie could colour his perspectives but something about the whole thing told him he wasn’t wrong.

He wondered if Charlie kept him away from Ben on purpose now, that he could sense Nick’s unease about him. He’d only been over to his flat twice since the first time, Charlie insisting he wanted to keep Nick and the OnlyFans world as separate as possible.

So there’s where Nick stayed, a part of Charlie’s life that was sacred and safe, a place he could go to unwind, relax, be himself and not have to perform for anyone. And Nick could handle that, he could keep Charlie safe in the only way he knew how, and hope that one day Charlie might see things the way Nick did.

When Nick saw him again for their walk with Daisy, Charlie looked a little off, his eyes a little distant. Nick didn’t push, as they began their walk, letting Charlie hold onto Daisy's lead as they made their way to the small park near their building.

It wasn’t very cold outside, but Charlie was in a jumper, sleeves past his hands. “Ben surprised me this morning,” Charlie started, not looking at Nick as he spoke. “I thought we were done for the weekend, just some solo stuff from our requests but I guess some really big New Yorker is visiting London and requested to…” he shrugged. “You know, with me.”

“Oh,” Nick said. “Do you want to?”

“Yeah,” Charlie answered a little too quickly. “He’s pretty famous, his OnlyFans followers are nearly double ours. And he asked me specifically to film something.”

“But?” Nick pushed gently, he could hear the trepidation laced in Charlie’s voice.

“I’m tired,” Charlie huffed. “We did extra filming this week and I was hoping not to… but the opportunity is too good to pass up. He’s coming over this evening, he wants to film tonight and tomorrow. Apparently, he has this whole list of things he’d like for us to do and film.”

“Did you look at the list?”

It took Charlie way too long to shake his head for Nick’s comfort. “Not yet, Ben’s better at negotiating things than I am, he’ll make sure nothing will cross a line. We’ve got a pretty tight list of no’s that we always give new people. People respect that, it’s part of the business. He wouldn’t be as popular as he is if he didn’t play by the rules.”

Charlie’s slight hesitation made Nick not so sure about that. “If you don’t want to film with him, you can say no.”

Charlie let out a humourless laugh, finally looking up at Nick for a moment before he was back to looking ahead. “He’s going to bring in so many new subscribers, Nick. This is my job and sometimes you just have to… do it. I’m just complaining, I guess. I’m really fine with it, the guy’s pretty fit, so it’s not like there’s any real hardship in sleeping with him. I’ve watched some of his stuff, he really looks good, makes anyone he’s with look good too.”

“You’re allowed to complain,” Nick said softly, he wanted to reach out and hold Charlie’s hand but he wouldn’t cross that line. “You’re also allowed to say no if something is too much. You’ve got to think about your own health, you know? You’re part of this thing with Ben too, you get to have as much of a say as you want.”

“Yeah,” Charlie sighed. “It’ll be fine.” He took a deep breath, then exhaled. “Anyways, I don’t want to think about him anymore, let’s just have some fun, okay?”

As much as Nick wanted to push it, wanted to make sure Charlie really, really wanted to do it, he nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

Chapter Text

Charlie took a shower when he got home from his walk with Nick. He had a pre-filming routine, washing himself with expensive body wash that smelled like apples. He cleaned himself thoroughly, opening himself up as he did so, despite the mild discomfort he was feeling. His hole was sore but as long as he took his time, it didn’t hurt too bad. He put in a bigger than average plug, because he had watched a few videos with Caleb after Ben had mentioned him and the man had a decent size dick.

Once he was clean and prepped, he took time to rub in his favorite lotion. It didn’t have a strong smell to it, but it made his skin soft and had a hint of shimmer to it. His hair was next, doing his curl routine, making sure they were perfect and bouncy, with just the right level of shine and softness. He didn’t care for make-up very much, but Ben had been insistent he cover up most of his scars. They’d faded over the years, the skin just slightly white but he still applied cover-up to his arms and thighs, just enough to cover them. Once that was finished, he put on his normal cock cage, peering at himself in the mirror, fully naked for a long moment.

Sometimes it was hard to believe this was where he was in life, that despite all the years of hatred.

The whole ritual, shower to finish, took him an hour and by the time he walked into the living room in jeans and a crop top, Caleb had arrived,along with another guy Charlie didn’t know. That wasn’t uncommon, Caleb was a well established OnlyFans model, he probably had an assistant or something.

“There’s our boy,” Ben said, turning to Charlie and ushering him over. “Come here, darling, meet Caleb and Danny.”

Charlie came over, shaking both men’s hands and mumbling greetings. This part was awkward to him, each of them knew what they were here for, the fake pleasantries were really unnecessary in the long run. They weren’t here to be friends, or talk, or even get to know each other. If it was up to Charlie, he wouldn’t even have to talk to anyone, he’d just get fucked and move on.

Ben made more small talk before they moved into their filming room, Charlie standing by the bed, ready for directions.

“Darling,” Ben said, his voice absolutely dripping with adoration. “A little change of plans, not only will Caleb be having his fun, but Danny will be as well.”

“Oh,” Charlie said, looking over at the other man again, looking him up and down. “Um.”

“That’s not going to be a problem, is it?” Ben asked, eyes staring directly into Charlie’s. His tone might have seemed normal and pleasant, but Charlie could read between the lines. This wasn’t a question, this was something that they’d decided without Charlie and there was no option to say no. He had no problems with group sex and maybe on a different day he'd be more excited, but right now he was aching still, the plug was a bit uncomfortable the longer he stood there.

“Can we talk first?” Charlie asked, taking a step towards Ben. “I’m sure you guys won’t mind, right?” The men looked nonplussed, so Charlie went to Ben, pulling him aside into their kitchen. “Did you know?”

“No,” Ben answered. “Not until they got here, but listen, Caleb said his group sex work has been off the charts lately. And it’s been requested a few times lately too. I know it’s last minute…”

“I don’t even know the other guy,” Charlie said. “I don’t like not knowing anything about him.”

Ben put a hand on his shoulder. “Listen, babe, I get it, okay? I promise this will never happen again, alright? Can you do this for us? You know how much it’ll help us in the long run.”

Charlie stared at him, Ben’s eyes were soft, caring in a way Charlie missed. Eventually he nodded, this was fine. He’d done threesomes plenty of times in the past, he could get over the surprise element once the whole thing started. “Yeah, sure.”

Ben kissed him, quickly, before walking back into the living room, Charlie trailing behind him. “I’m good,” he said to Caleb and Danny.

They began the normal dance from there, Ben getting his POV camera ready but staying completely clothed. He filmed Charlie smiling, introducing himself as usual and then Caleb and Danny, telling the camera how badly he wanted the two men. Charlie assumed Ben had gone over the normal list with them, the things Charlie would do, the safe words they had in place. They used the traffic light system, green for go, yellow for slow down and red for stop. He’d had to yellow a few times, only because of an uncomfortable position or once when a man cut off his airway for far too long. He hadn’t had to red before, he’d never felt too unsafe or scared in a situation where he felt he had to.

Charlie let himself be taken by the men, allowing them to undress him, kiss him, touch him. Caleb guided Charlie down to his knees, once he was naked. Charlie looked up at them, as two cocks were placed in front of his face. Thankful for his multitasking abilities, he took Caleb into his mouth first, jacking off Danny, then switching after a few minutes.

Caleb was a talker, telling Charlie how good he was, how much he loved his mouth and other things. He barely listened, turning off his brain, letting himself sink into the work. This was what he knew how to do, this was exactly what he was good for. Each movement was graceful, purposeful, all trained to make himself and his partner look their very best. He was creating a fantasy, one thousands of people would enjoy, would touch themselves and their partners over. Charlie was in the business of giving other people pleasure, that’s all it ever was.

Danny kept trying to fuck his mouth, putting his hand on the back of Charlie’s head and holding him in place. His gag reflex was long gone, but it was still uncomfortable. He put his hands on Danny’s thighs, squeezing slightly to warn him when he went down for too long.

“Come on little slut,” Caleb said from above him. “I’ve seen you choke down bigger dicks than this. Show us what a good little cockslut you are.”

Closing his eyes, Charlie forced his throat to relax as Danny moved in and out of it. Caleb grabbed his hand, moving to his cock apparently wanting Charlie to continue jacking him off. After what felt like at least a half hour assault on his throat, Danny finally pulled out completely, causing Charlie to cough and gag. He looked up to Ben, hoping his boyfriend would pause for a moment.

When Ben didn’t stop, he got up from his knees, ignoring the two guys waiting for him. “Gimme a minute,” Charlie said hoarsely. “I need water.”

He walked over to the desk, grabbing a bottle of water and chugging it down. He briefly wondered what kind of professional this Caleb guy was, as most of the OnlyFans models he’d fucked around with were respectful. You wanted a good reputation in this industry, your livelihood can sometimes depend on who wanted to work with you. That usually meant treating your partner with some respect and unless discussed before, not engaging in too much rough sex.

And as of right now, neither of the guys were going to get a 5 star review from Charlie.

“You ready for us yet?” Caleb asked, standing with his hands on his hips, dick still hard and shiny with Charlie’s spit and hopefully lube. Danny had already laid down on the bed, hands folded behind his head, looking at Charlie expectantly.

“Yeah,” Charlie said, taking the last bit of water before coming over to the bed.

They hadn’t really talked this part out, he knew he’d be fucked by both of them, but not the exacts. Usually if he was with two guys, he’d get spit roasted, so he just assumed that would be the case.

“Get on this dick,” Danny said, making Charlie roll his eyes. Sometimes the fake porn talk was really annoying. Sure, he added in fake lines but they weren’t really that cheesy. Climbing up on the bed, Charlie went to straddle Danny, moving over his midsection, sitting right above his dick.

He could feel Caleb getting on the bed behind him and he arched his back slightly, turning his head to look at the man.

Caleb’s hand started at the back of his neck, moving down as Charlie leaned forward, sticking his ass out the best he could. Caleb ran his hands down Charlie’s spine, before arriving at the plug. “Your hole is so inviting," Caleb said, touching the plug, making Charlie shiver. He pulled it out slightly, then pushed it back in, fucking Charlie in slow shallow bursts.

“All for you,” Charlie said, which really was a lie but who was going to care. This was a fantasy, after all. “Can’t wait to feel you inside me.”

His head was hanging low over Danny’s chest, he looked up to see if the man was interested in kissing Charlie, but he didn’t seem to care very much. Caleb pulled the plug out completely and replaced it with his fingers, sans lube. Charlie buckled forward a bit, the stretch burning just enough but he managed to get ahold of himself and steady his face. “Hmm, so good,” he lied again, eyes flickering over to Ben for a brief moment. “I’m ready,” he announced after a minute, hoping Caleb would stop his dry assault and provide some lube along with Danny’s cock next.

Caleb pulled out his fingers and Charlie sat back, waiting to see if Caleb would line up Danny’s dick for him. When he didn’t, he reached back himself, stroking the skinny cock a few times before placing it against his hole. He made sure to make eye contact with Danny before slowly sinking down onto his cock. The man moaned, eyes rolling up a little and Charlie breathed deeply as the cock breached his rim. He should have asked for lube, but that sort of thing broke the illusion too much. The slide down wasn’t painfully dry, he had lubed himself up earlier and the plug had helped keep him pretty wet and ready.

Once he was seated, he rolled his hips forwards a bit, testing out the feel of Danny’s cock. Caleb’s hand was suddenly pushing him forward, so his chest was on Danny’s, allowing the man to start fucking up into him. Charlie let out a squeak, mostly of surprise and a little bit of pain. Danny wasn’t being very gentle or caring, not that he thought he’d be anyway. The rough face fucking should have been a clear indication of what sex with him would be like.

He could feel Caleb getting closer, moving so he was nearly pressed to Charlie’s back.

It wasn’t until he felt Caleb’s fingers touching his rim, did he realize what was happening.

“Yellow,” he said, looking straight to Ben and pulling himself up and off Danny’s cock. His heart was racing, his body was already tensing up at the mere thought of what might be happening next.

“For fucks sake,” Ben said, putting the phone down. “What?”

“I don’t,” Charlie said, trying to get his bearings. He suddenly felt overwhelmed, too much, too exposed. Double penetration had been a hard no for him, he wasn’t sure he would even like it. He’d refused fisting too, the idea was not very appealing to him at all. Maybe with someone he trusted, but not with some stranger he’d never see again. There was way too much chance for him to end up getting really, really hurt in both cases to risk it.

“I thought you said he was fine with it,” Caleb said from behind him, his body and cock still pressed close to Charlie. He wanted nothing more then to push him away but he felt frozen by something he couldn’t explain.

“He is,” Ben said as Charlie shook his head. He met with Ben’s eyes again, trying to plead his case without words. When they first started Ben was on his side more often, he’d just look at Charlie and know it was crossing a line. He’d just know how uncomfortable he was from his face and he’d interject and stop before Charlie even had to.

“I don’t know if I can,” Charlie gulped, trying to think of what he could even say. “I’m not stretched enough and I’d need more lube.”

“That can be arranged,” Caleb said, shifting off the bed, making Charlie relax a fraction without his looming presence. When Caleb came back, he gave Charlie a perfunctory stretch, cold lube and big fingers, scissoring his hole without any real finesse or care. Everything was happening too fast, he wasn’t sure he could catch his breath enough to stop them again. Charlie was a dead weight, as Caleb pushed him back down onto Danny’s chest. This time he did line up Danny’s cock, pushing it back into his hole.

“Charlie,” Ben hissed. “Look fucking happy.”

Charlie blinked, turning his face away from Ben instead, not sure he could look happy at all right now. He didn’t want to be there, he didn’t want two men trying to fuck him. He wanted to stop, to safe word out and run away to Nick but that wasn’t… that wasn’t what could happen. He was already here, already naked and stretched, he already consented, running away now… he didn’t know what that would mean for him or their account. He was stuck in his indecision, too overwhelmed to properly make up his mind.

Charlie only had a moment to brace himself before he felt the pressure again. The pain was immediate and intense, he felt like he was going to split in two. That his body was going to give up completely. “Ow,” he hissed, his eyes slamming shut, the breath feeling like it was being punched out of his lungs. There was no way Caleb was going to fit, he was going to rip Charlie apart.

He could feel the panic and fear burning inside of him, as Caleb’s dick pushed, his resolve was leaving, the pain was just too much.

“Red,” he breathed, his voice not nearly as loud. “Red!” he tried again and Caleb was gone, but Danny was still inside of him. He was terrified Danny wouldn’t pull out, terrified that shouting his safeword was both too much and not enough.

He cried out, pulling himself up and off Danny, rolling his back on the bed. Tears sprung from his eyes and covered his face with his hand, embarrassed and ashamed. A delirious thought crossed his mind, of what Nick would think of him if he knew he let this happen, let Ben push him into it, let himself agree but then still refused.

No one tried to comfort him, or talk to him. He could hear the other three talking around him, like he wasn’t even there. A hand on his shoulder made him flinch, desperate to roll away, but then he heard Ben’s voice. “Charlie,” he said, making Charlie brace himself for how made Ben would be.

It wasn’t mean, but his voice was cold and detached. Charlie took his arm away, in too much pain in the moment to move. “S-sorry,” he said, looking up at Ben’s disappointed face. “It hurt.” He knew deep down that he shouldn’t have apologized, that this was exactly what safe words were for.

“Fine,” Ben said dully. “But you’re going to get up, get yourself together and then let Caleb and Danny fuck you,” Ben said simply. “Separately, since apparently you can’t take both of them.”

“I don’t want to,” Charlie said, shaking his head. “Ben, it really hurt. I don’t… I don’t think I can.”

“Everyone has to make sacrifices, Charlie,” Ben said slowly. “I let other men have sex with my partner for money. Do you think I enjoy that? You don’t want to do the double penetration, fine, but we still have to make a film with them. Unless you’re telling me you’re done? You want to quit? Because you don’t do this, you might as well quit right now. Caleb will tell everyone how terrible you are and no one will ever want to work with us again.”

Ben’s voice was even and direct, there was no anger there, which scared Charlie most of all. Ben’s anger was always more terrifying when it was hidden behind something else. He’d never been physical with Charlie before, not in any serious way. Sure, he’d been pushed around, grabbed roughly but it was all in the moment, in the heat of anger and Ben always apologised after.

The real fear came in the words Ben would say, the true ones, the ones that flayed Charlie alive, exposed every single nerve to the world. Ben was right, if he didn’t do this, they’ll start losing clients and partners. The pain he was feeling was well and truly temporary, he’d be fine. The financial loss, the loss of the career they’d built, that would be the worst.

“Yes,” Charlie said softly, sucking in deep breaths, willing his body to just let go. “I’ll do it… can I just take a shower? Please? I promise I can go again.”

Ben leaned down and kissed him, it was soft and sweet, a reminder of a past Charlie sometimes forgot was real. “Hurry it up, Caleb has a tight schedule, we’re lucky he was willing to wait for you.”

Nick hadn’t seen Charlie for nearly a week and it was somewhat concerning. They texted daily, but even those were getting a bit short and Nick was the one spamming him. If he was a braver person, he’d call Charlie, or just go over to check on him. But Charlie was his own person, he was an adult, if he needed help… Nick was somewhat sure he’d at least ask for it.

Daisy heard Charlie at the door before Nick heard the soft knock. He was up and rushing to the door, beating Daisy there. When he flung the door open, he exhaled sharply, Charlie was standing there looking… small. He was wearing one of Nick’s jumpers, an older rugby one that was mostly faded and threadbare. It hung off his frame, drowning him in fabric.

His usually soft and tamed curls were a bit wild, messy in a way Nick wasn’t used to seeing. And his face, it was pale, the apple of his cheeks were tinged pink but that was the only colour to be seen. He looked tired and lost and in need of a good hug and some care.

“Char,” he breathed. “Are you okay?”

Daisy seemed to sense something was up, for once she didn’t try to jump on him as he entered Nick’s flat. He still leant down to pet her, speaking in a quiet voice. “Had a long week.”

“Come on then,” Nick said, swallowing down all the worry he was feeling. Charlie had to know coming over looking like this would cause Nick to worry. He was probably just biding his time before Nick asked what was up and Charlie deflected. “Do you want tea?”

“Hmmhm,” Charlie hummed, walking over to the sofa and settling in his normal spot. Nick went into the kitchen, getting tea as he heard Charlie turn the telly on, hopefully finding something mindless they could watch together.

“Food?” Nick called out. “I have some of those lemon biscuits you liked.”

The silence was enough of a reply for Nick, he knew exactly what the answer was. “Not right now,” Charlie confirmed. He briefly wondered if he should push it, he was worried Charlie hadn’t eaten much if he was upset. But he had to be careful, Charlie was his best friend, but also an adult who could take care of himself. He had a boyfriend, a partner. He had Ben, who was hopefully checking in and making sure Charlie was doing okay.

Nick really didn’t want to give Ben the benefit of the doubt but he had no real choice here. When he came over with two mugs of tea, Daisy had laid up between Charlie’s legs, her head resting on his stomach and he looked rather content, if not a bit uncomfortable.

“Alright?” Nick asked, as Charlie took the mug from him. He watched him take a sip slowly, a bit of color returning to his face now that he was warmed and settled.

“I could be better,” Charlie admitted. “It was a… I had a really difficult week.”

That could mean a lot of things, Nick had come to learn. Sometimes the people Charlie worked with were… not gentle. Sometimes Charlie would let it slip about how rough some of them had been, or he’d see the bruises on Charlie’s arms or neck. Love bites that bordered on being a little too much, a little too bruised. Charlie never really explicitly said anything, but Nick’s imagination did a good job of filling the gaps.

“Do you need to take anything? I’ve got some paracetamol."

“Nah,” Charlie said, letting out a slight hiss as he leaned to put the mug on the table. His movements were slow and careful, but Nick could tell he was in some kind of pain. “I took some already. It’s not… I dunno, I’m just a bit sore, that’s all.”

“I’ve missed you this week,” Nick offered. “I know you were busy, but I’m glad you came over now.”

Charlie smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes, it looked so painfully fake that it made Nick’s stomach ache. “I missed you too.” His words were far more truthful than his expression. “I wasn’t even all that busy…” he trailed. “I actually just haven’t been feeling all that great.”

“Did something happen?” Nick ventured. “No one… hurt you, did they?”

Charlie’s face crumbled for a moment, his eyes slightly watering, but instead of crying he just wiped at them, sniffling a bit. “Not really. The um, guy from this weekend. There ended up being two of them and they wanted to… try something new. I agreed but it sort of hurt too much to continue. They stopped but I did go on to… fuck them both. Or be fucked, actually, but yeah. I usually don’t… there’s usually some breaks between guys but this week really hasn’t had any. I filmed two days in a row with both of them. Monday was just… shitty, we had planned to do some request videos but I was too sore to do most of what people wanted. Ben was nice about it, he let me do other things on Tuesday and Wednesday and today we didn’t even film at all.”

Nick schooled his features as Charlie spoke, trying not to let the overwhelming concern show through. He didn’t like the sound of any of that and he could just picture all the terrible things Charlie had gone through this week to feel this bad already.

He offered Charlie a smile. “That sounds rough, I’m glad you had a break.”

“Me too.”

They lapsed into silence, the episode of Red Dwarf Charlie had put on played in the background, along with Daisy’s occasional whine when Charlie would stop petting her. Nick let the silence settle, let Charlie relax into the sofa, let the facade he usually put up fade away.

“You know you could tell me… things,” Nick eventually said. “I’m not… I’m not like some blushing virgin or anything. I’ve seen internet porn, Charlie.”

Charlie cracked a smile, slight and small but it was there. “I know,” he said, rolling his eyes. “It’s just… embarrassing? I don’t mind other people watching me, or knowing what I do but you’re my friend, yeah? Your opinion actually matters.”

“And it won’t change just because I know those types of things,” Nick said, truthfully. “I just feel like sometimes you let things bottle up and I worry about you not talking about things that might have bothered you.”

A long time ago Charlie mentioned having a therapist, one he started seeing back in secondary. He didn’t mention when they stopped but he knew Charlie wasn’t currently seeing anyone. Nick had once given him the card for the group his therapist worked with, in case Charlie wanted to find someone.

He never said either way, but Nick had the feeling Charlie never did anything about it.

“I mean, you’re not wrong,” Charlie admitted. “I just… like I said, I guess I know you wouldn’t judge me, but I think I’d still be worried about that. I don’t want you to think… I dunno, that I’m gross or something?”

“Never,” Nick said. “But if you don’t feel comfortable talking to me about it, I understand. You just look really uncomfortable, physically I mean, and I just want to check in. I want this to be a safe place for you.”

Charlie smiled, a bit brighter this time. “You’re a really good person, Nicholas Nelson. I don’t know why you bother with someone like me.”

“You’re pretty amazing, Charlie Spring,” Nick countered. “I’m lucky that you’re my friend, quite frankly.”

They both laughed together, the ease of their friendship making these types of conversations easy and gentle. Nick didn’t want to prod anymore, leaving the ball in Charlie’s court completely.

“Tell me about your week,” Charlie encouraged. “Your class did that rock painting thing, yeah? How’d that go?”

Charlie having remembered such a small detail made his heart soar. “Oh god, it was a disaster. I had the kids pick out their rocks from outside, my first mistake. Not only were most of the rocks dirty but Ashley and Cyndi both kept picking the same rock and crying over it. I lost count how many times kids tried to put the rocks into their mouths too. They are six years olds, I thought they'd passed that phase, but forbidden cookies, I guess.”

Nick continued on, explaining how the day went, as Charlie giggled and nodded along, always asking questions, truly engaged in whatever Nick was telling him.

“Do you want to see pictures?” Nick asked, going for his mobile on the table.

“Of fucking course,” Charlie agreed. “I really want to see what you’ve painted.”

They both moved forward, Daisy getting up and off the sofa with a grumble. As soon as Charlie sat up, he let out another hiss of pain, barely able to disguise it, as he sat back down on the sofa. He flinched once he was settled again and Nick watched him suck in a breath.

“Is that pain that bad?” Nick questioned, having scooted forward, closer to Charlie.

For a second he thought Charlie would deny it, but instead, he hung his head, his chin hitting his chest. “Sometimes.”

“What’s sometimes?”

“Like, anytime I move… but it’s… embarrassing.”

“Charlie,” Nick said, reaching his hand out and touching Charlie’s ankle above the covers. “Please? If it hurts, you might want to get it looked at-”

That caused Charlie to violently shake his head. “No, god no, Ben said it was fine. I had him uh, look and he said it’s just swelling?” Charlie said, his face was flushed red with embarrassment. “God, this is so stupid. My uh, ass hurts. The area around my hole is really red and swollen and I might have had some bleeding on Monday. I think it was just too much, you know? The guys wanted to double penetrate, they tried and when it hurt too much I said no. I think something might have torn, but it’s not like they can do anything about it, you know?”

It took a lot for Nick not to react in any big way. Instead he swallowed, clenched his fists in his lap and tried to keep his temper down. He wasn’t an angry person, he rarely yelled or exploded, but the thought of Charlie getting hurt, of Charlie being in pain and Ben telling him it was okay… that was enough to boil his blood.

“Charlie, if you’re in pain, then you need to get checked out at a clinic.”

“No,” Charlie said, shaking his head. He shifted a little, not hissing but looking very uncomfortable. “It’s already getting better, okay? I haven’t… I just need a few days without having sex and it’ll be fine.”

As much as Nick wanted to trust him, he couldn’t. “Was it unprotected?”The look on Charlie’s face answered his question. “Please let me take you to the clinic. They can do an STI panel-”

“We screen the guys,” Charlie said quickly. “I’m not stupid, okay? I just don’t go around-”

Nick cut him off. “I’m not saying you are, but people lie. Please Charlie, I’d feel so much better if you got checked out. Even if it’s just a tear, they’ll give you something for it and you’ll feel better.” Something flashed across Charlie’s face and Nick frowned. “It’s more than just a tear and bleeding, is it?”

“There’s some… discharge,” Charlie admitted with a slight wince. “And my throat’s been a little sore too. But it’s not, there’s nothing else wrong. It’s probably nothing.”

“Charlie,” Nick said, the name coming out of him like a punch to the gut. “We need to go to the clinic, right now. You don’t have to tell them about the OnlyFans, you can just say you had unprotected sex with someone-”

Tears were very clearly welling up in Charlie’s eyes. “I don’t- it’s embarrassing."

“It’s your health,” Nick pressed. “I’ll go with you, stay with you for as long as you need me to. But, please, Charlie, your health is important.”

Sighing Charlie looked down at his hands. “Okay.”

Nick almost missed the small word, about to ask Charlie to repeat it when Charlie lifted his head. “I don’t know if I want you in the room but… if you’ll just stay with me?”

“Of course,” Nick offered. “Anything for you.”

Charlie let Nick take charge of the whole ordeal, sitting in the passenger seat of Nick’s beat up little Kia. He wasn’t sure where Nick was taking him, but he closed his eyes, letting the air con keep him cool. If he was braver he’d reach out his hand for Nick’s, just to keep himself tethered in reality.

He knew something was wrong, much worse than just being sore. Both Caleb and Danny fucked him again on Sunday, they filmed for long hours, different positions, different combinations. He was actually relieved when Ben didn’t fuck him that day, or any of the rest but now he couldn’t help but to wonder if Ben knew something was wrong. Ben would tell him if either of the guys didn’t have a clean STI test right? Ben was supposed to check for that sort of thing.

By the time they pulled up to a small clinic, Charlie was almost shaking with nerves. He got out of the car, waiting for Nick to come around before walking alongside him into the clinic. He could have asked Ben to come, he probably should have but being there with Nick felt infinitely more comfortable.

Check-in was embarrassing enough, Charlie mumbled something about unprotected sex and some anal pains. He was sent back to the waiting room with paperwork to fill out. He had texted Ben before they left, lying and saying Nick and him were going to grab dinner somewhere. Ben hadn’t replied but Charlie wasn’t bothered by it, he was probably working on the last video Charlie had filmed the day before.

Cas, one of their big time patrons, requested Charlie get himself off on the massive dildo Cas had bought him a few months ago. Lucky for Charlie, he was in control of not only how much lube was used, but the pace and positions he could fuck himself in. It hurt a lot more than Charlie wanted to admit, but he still managed to get himself off for Cas, cleaning the come from his fingers and smiling for the man behind the screen.

Ben seemed pleased with what Charlie had done, so he figured he didn’t look too much in pain throughout his performance.

“Do you want me to go in with you?” Nick asked him and Charlie shook his head.

“No, it’s okay, this is enough.”

He actually really wanted Nick to come in with him, but he wasn’t sure he could handle the answer to any questions he might be asked. And he also didn’t want anyone to think that Nick did this to him, that Nick passed along some type of STI. He’d been so lucky so far, barebacking for so long and never having to find himself in this position. It was probably about time, really. Charlie’s luck rarely held out this long.

Nick held up the palm of his hand, on the arm rest, a silent invitation and Charlie placed his hand into his. Charlie suddenly felt the urge to speak up, to make sure Nick didn’t think he was that stupid of a person.

“I told off Ben for trying to surprise me with the… two thing,” he said, quietly. They were sitting aside from other people, but just in case. “He was sorry about it, really. I don’t think they told him until they came over either. He should have talked to me about it before, but… I dunno, I guess I understand.”

“I don’t,” Nick said. “I… I know you hate when I say things like this, but I just want to make sure you’re not… that you want to do what you’re doing.”

“I do,” Charlie answered quickly, sparing him a look. “I enjoy it, I really do. The industry is… not easy all the time. Sometimes you have to go outside your comfort zone in order to make things work. I was willing to try it and when I couldn’t, we all stopped.”

“And yet, you still kept going after and now…”

“But that’s hardly Ben’s fault, we do ask for screenings. And it might not be anything anyway.”

Charlie didn’t know who he was kidding. He’d spent all day looking up STI symptoms, he was just trying to convince himself it was nothing. Nick squeezed his hand, just as a nurse called his name. Charlie left, thanking Nick again, before following the nurse back into a small room.

What followed was a rather humiliating ten minutes of questions he’d rather not ever answer. The ones about his weight and his mental health history were hard enough to explain, but then having to tell this woman he had unprotected anal and oral sex with someone? Yeah, the look of judgment she gave him was well expected.

She tsked a bit, went over a few more questions before leaving Charlie to his swarming thoughts. The wait for the doctor was filled with anxiety and the urge to just take a runner out the door. If the test came back positive… he wasn’t even sure how he’d tell Ben, or what they’d do.

It was funny how little he cared about his health in this matter, he was more concerned about what it would mean for his career.

The doctor knocked on the door, introducing himself before launching into what felt more like a safe sex lecture than it did about Charlie in general.

“I understand,” Charlie said, cutting him off before it turned into sex ed. “I’m already sorry about the experience, trust me. I just want to make sure it’s not… too serious.”

“Well, Mr. Spring, any STI is a serious matter. Come up here, lower your trousers and pants. I’ll take a look and we’ll do a rapid STI test. It’ll look for chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis, herpes and syphilis. I know you’re taking Prep but we’ll take a swab and urine to check from HIV as well. I’d like to do a full panel, better safe than sorry.”

Doing as he was told, Charlie got into the humiliating position, hissing as the man touched around his hole, making humming sounds. Thankfully he didn’t poke around for too long, before telling Charlie he could get dressed again. He checked a few other things, Charlie’s eyes, ears and nose and listened to his heart.

“A nurse will be in to take a swab and give you a cup. The results should be ready in roughly ten minutes if we get a decent sample.”

He was gone shortly after, leaving Charlie to try and center himself. He wished Nick was here now, a warm hand, his gentle voice and demeanor that made Charlie’s life a little bit better. If it was a perfect world, he wouldn’t have ended up like this and maybe, instead, he’d be dating Nick. It was clear how they felt about each other but even if he broke up with Ben, he still wouldn’t take the leap.

Nick didn’t deserve someone like Charlie, someone tainted and used.

The nurse arrived, taking a swab and sending him off to pee, which he did rather quickly, returning the cup. She sent him back into the room, where he continued to twiddle his thumbs and question all of his current life choices. He checked his phone, to find a message from Nick, just a single heart sent a few minutes ago and he sent one right back. Even a stupid text from Nick made him feel better.

A knock on the door had him tense up and the doctor came into the room, looking like he was about to deliver bad news. “Well, Mr. Spring,” he said, shaking his head. “Looks like you've got chlamydia.”

Chapter Text

Nick knew something was wrong the second Charlie came back from the room. His face was pale again, his body hunched over onto itself, like he was trying to disappear completely. He walked like a zombie, shuffling towards Nick who stood up.

“Hi,” Nick said, worriedly.

“Hi,” Charlie echoed back, his voice sounding a bit lost, like he wasn’t sure how to even use it anymore. Charlie stood in front of him, holding himself tightly still, body tense and unsure. “I have chlamydia,” he whispered.

Nick held back his grimace. “Oh, I mean, that’s okay, yeah? It’s very treatable.” Charlie’s eyes met his for a brief moment and Nick barreled on. “Just antibiotics for what, a week? Then you’re good as new. Out of all the STIs this is the best option.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “And you’re an expert on STIs?”

“I may have been doing some googling when you were in there. I wanted to know how to support you the best I could.”

“A Nelson hug would probably cure me right now,” Charlie said, head tilting to the side.

Who was Nick to deny him anything? He opened his arms and Charlie unraveled his body just to fall into Nick’s arms. He held onto him, the waiting room wasn’t too crowded but enough people were looking over at them but Nick didn’t care one bit. He rocked them slightly, willing the tension to leave Charlie’s body.

“I’ve got to tell Ben,” he said softly. “And Danny and Caleb. I’m sure it’s from one of them but they probably knew that.”

Nick was already thinking the worst, that Ben somehow knew too and pushed Charlie to the wolves. “I can go with you to tell Ben, if you want.”

“Yes,” Charlie answered, without hesitation.

They stood hugging for a bit longer before they headed out, stopping at the chemist to pick up Charlie’s script. Nick couldn’t help but to think how nice it was for Charlie to have a week off from sex now, how maybe he’d get some colour back in his face, an actual smile might show across his face. It was selfish of him to want to keep Charlie to himself like this, to beg him to leave Ben, to stop putting his body on the line.

Charlie liked what he was doing, what type of person would Nick be if he would shame him? Charlie held his hand as they walked into the flat, taking the lift up to their floor. He seemed more uncomfortable now than he had before all of this.

“I’ll be right here,” Nick offered. “The whole time, okay?”

Charlie nodded, dropping Nick’s hand to unlock the door and step inside. “Ben?” he called out. A beat went by before Ben walked into the living room, looking just as smarmy and annoying as Nick remembered him. He took one look at Nick, a sour expression on his face.

“I didn’t know we were having guests tonight,” Ben said, eyes flicking between the two of them, clearly judging Nick.

“He’s not going to stay for long,” Charlie answered, nudging Nick with his arm. “He’s just here to uh, help me. I, um, I have something to tell you.”

Nick suddenly was concerned about Ben assuming they were having an affair and maybe not even listening to what Charlie had to say. Being here, while supportive of Charlie, was definitely a risk. Would Ben accuse them of sleeping together? Would he even believe Charlie got the STI from the other guys and not him?

“Alright,” Ben said, sitting down on the loveseat adjacent to the couch, where Nick and Charlie sat, side by side. He’d never been this close to Charlie while in his flat, it felt almost wrong to be here like this.

“Um, you know how I was feeling really terrible this week?” Charlie started, his voice small and cracking. “Nick convinced me to go to a clinic. I, um, I’ve got chlamydia.”

Ben’s reaction was not what Nick had expected. Instead of anger or distrust, Ben’s face softened, he looked concerned. “Darling,” he said softly, holding his arms out. It took Charlie a second to get up and sit on Ben’s lap, allowing the man to hug him. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t take you seriously. I’m sorry I made it feel like you couldn’t tell me this.”

Charlie sniffed, wiping his eyes with the long sleeve. “I just… I said I was hurting and you said I was f-f-ine.”

“There, there,” Ben cooed, rubbing at Charlie’s back. Nick wanted to get up and leave, he felt like he was intruding on a much more intimate moment than he’d expected. Maybe Charlie didn’t need him as much, maybe their relationship was perfectly fine and Nick just wanted to find a villain in Ben Hope. Needed a reason for Charlie to leave him, just so Nick could have him. “I’m so sorry I brought those men into our house. I had no idea they were liars. I’ll report them if you’d like, darling, to OnlyFans. I’ll get tested tomorrow as well, as a precaution. And we’ll switch to condoms, better screenings too. I’ll make this right.”

Charlie cried onto Ben’s shoulder, clearly overwhelmed. Ben looked over at Nick, a polite smile on his face. “Thank you so much for taking him. Charlie doesn’t always know how to ask for things when he needs them. He’s been careless with his health in the past, I don’t know why he gets so worried.”

Nick didn’t have an answer to that, he also didn’t appreciate the way Ben spoke about Charlie as if he was a child or something. Charlie had made it seem like he’d talked to Ben about this and he was the one who’d been dismissive. There was nothing about Charlie that ever came across as manipulative, he refused to think Charlie was just using him or something.

“I’m glad I did,” Nick said. “If you need anything, please let me know.”

“Of course, tell Nick thank you darling and then it’s off to bed, you need a good night's rest.”

Charlie lifted his head up, eyes red with tears. “Thank you, Nick.”

Nick stood, giving them both a tight smile before leaving the flat. That night as he lay in bed, he stared up at the fairy lights he’d had since he was a teenager, a heavy and uncomfortable feeling weighing heavily in his gut.

The attention Ben had lavished upon Charlie made his head spin. It was so much like the old days, the ones before the OnlyFans account, that Charlie instantly regretted all the negative feelings he’d been having lately. Of course Ben still loved him, he was just being silly. Maybe it really had been watching Charlie getting fucked by other men that was making him emotionally distant. He should consider requesting week breaks like this often, so they can come back to finding each other.

Ben had tested negative for any STIs, much to Charlie's happiness. Without the looming thought of having sex with Ben or others, Charlie felt so much more relaxed and he soaked up all that Ben was giving him. Bringing him breakfast in bed, rubbing his back, giving Charlie a bath, full of nonsexual intimacy. It almost brought him to tears, being touched in a way that wasn’t about anyone’s satisfaction.

He hadn’t realized how miserable he’d been beforehand.

As the following week started, Ben continued his care and attention, staying home from work to make sure Charlie was okay.

“I’m fine,” he insisted, as Ben came back into their bed. “Really, I’m hardly even sore anymore.”

“I want to be here,” Ben insisted. “It’s my fault this even happened. I should have said no to the other guy, but the money…” Ben sighed. “I know we’ve been doing well, but the production costs for us have gone up. We need to replace a few cameras and I really need better editing software. I didn’t want to bring it up before but…”

Charlie frowned, he thought they’d been making decent money. “I can get a job,” Charlie said. “I really don’t mind.”

“No, no,” Ben insisted. “You do so much for our channel already, I couldn’t ask you to work an actual job as well. With you out of commission this week, I am a bit worried we’re going to lose followers. We didn’t film anything last week either…”

Charlie frowned. “Ben, I can’t have sex right now and I mean anything. Even if it’s with toys, it’s really painful and I’m not willing to do that.”

“I’m not asking you to,” Ben said in a rush. “I promise that’s not what I was thinking about. It’s just, we got a new subscriber, he’s offered big bucks if you’d let me edge you. Maybe even impact play… he’s into BDSM stuff.”

None of those were on his hard no list, he was pretty fond of edging when it was done right and he eventually got an orgasm out of it. Even when Ben did it, a little clumsy and not as professional, but he still got off in the end. “No anal play, no matter what,” Charlie stressed. “And I’d want to test things out before we start shooting.”

“Of course, sweetheart. The guy offered to buy us some things, would that be okay? He said it was alright even if we don’t use them. He thinks you're gorgeous, baby, he just wants to watch you.”

It was still somewhat of a novel concept that people actually found him attractive enough to spend all their money on. There was a part of him that would never understand it, the other part of him got a thrill from it. It made him feel so good, it made him feel like all the self-doubt he had during his teenage years was nothing. It made him feel powerful in a way he never thought he’d feel.

“Okay, maybe in a few days,” Charlie asked. “I’d like to just cuddle in bed, today, if that’s alright.”

“Of course darling,” Ben said, kissing his forehead.

Two days later Charlie found himself lying face down, spread out on their filming bed, his wrists tied above his head. The ties weren’t terribly tight, Ben had made sure he had enough room to feel comfortable, but to maybe appear things were much worse. One of the items sent to them was a spreader bar, which forced Charlie’s legs apart.

The subscriber, a man who only went by “Daddy” in online spaces, had sent in several questions and links to different items he was willing to buy. Charlie messaged back and forth with him, cringing at having to call the man Daddy, but happy he was able to make all the decisions.

The most expensive item was a 110 pound electric leather paddle. It had tiny electrodes running up the paddle, giving tiny shocks when turned on. Charlie tested it out against his arm, the feeling was weird, but not entirely unpleasant. He'd considered the paddles hurting his sore ass, but as long as Ben didn’t hit near his hole, it was fine.

Daddy sent some really nice lacey underwear he wanted Charlie to wear, along with a bralette he had no problem with. He actually looked really good with the light blue fabric on, it made him feel pretty.

His only area of trepidation was the script he was supposed to follow. Daddy had a kink for humiliation and wanted Ben to say some pretty harsh things to him.

He just had to keep remembering this was a script, Ben didn’t mean anything he was saying and it would eventually end. That, and these videos, were just for Daddy to see, he was paying a lot for the exclusive videos and once Charlie saw the amount, he suddenly found himself a lot more willing.

“Let me know when you’re ready,” Ben said, kneeling on the bed with the paddle in his hand. They’d start with impact play, then flip Charlie to edge him. Daddy wanted him to dry stroke Charlie, right on the side of pain, stopping before he came. Once he was edged at least five times, Ben was finally allowed to let him come. His cock wasn’t in a cage and he was already half hard from the anticipation of what they were doing.

He took stock of how his arms and legs felt, before taking a deep breath. “Alright, we can start.”

There was a pause, Ben seemingly shifting into character. “You’ve been a bad boy, Charlie,” Ben said sharply, his voice dripping with discontent. For a second it felt too real already, Charlie’s heart rate picking up. “You haven’t been listening to Daddy, now have you?”

“Sorry, Daddy,” Charlie said, following what he was supposed to do. The scene was about punishment, Charlie had been a bad boy and Ben was acting in Daddy’s place to punish him.

“You’re not sorry,” Ben said, dragging the edge of the paddle down this spine. “You have to prove to me how sorry you are.”

Charlie paused, waiting for Ben to continue. He wasn’t doing a very good job at it, so far. He felt more bored than humiliated. When Ben didn’t go onto his next line, Charlie improvised. “How do I do that, Daddy?”

“By showing me what a good boy you can be and taking my punishment.”

The paddle stopped right on Charlie’s ass, Ben pulled it away and then whacked him, hard right on his crack. Charlie jolted a little, a sharp pain bloomed. “Count,” Ben said. He must have turned on the electric, because the next hit had an extra jolt to it, sending a buzz up Charlie’s spine.

“One,” he said, twitching a little. Ben smacked him again, barely giving him time to breathe. “Two.” Again without pause. “Three.” Again, harder this time, the electric buzz increased, Ben must have turned it up. “Four.” Again, on his crack. “Ben,” he hissed, squirming. “Yellow.”

Ben smacked again. “You lost count.”

“Red,” Charlie said, turning his head to try and look at the man. “Ben, stop.”

“Come the fuck on, Charlie,” Ben said, making no move to set him free. “You’re supposed to be in pain, you’re supposed to be uncomfortable.”

“I know that,” Charlie grounded out.

“Then why did you safe word, huh? You agreed to this, remember? This is your penance for our lack of content this week. You picked out the toys, you agreed to all of it and now you’re backing out yet again?”

He was right, wasn’t he? Charlie had agreed to all of this, he said it would be fine, he couldn’t just not do it. Daddy had spent a lot of money on him, and was willing to spend more.

“Fine,” Charlie said. “Just, can you give me a second before each one? I’m not used to this.”

“Start over,” Ben barked, sounding annoyed with him, more than he did when performing their script.

“Ben, just edit me starting at the right number,” Charlie said and then smack, right on the ass, maybe not as hard but the surprise had him jumping. “Fuck, Ben.”

“That’s not a number Charlie, start over. You want to be a good boy, you do what Daddy wants from you without complaint.”

Hissing in a breath, Charlie willed his body to relax, preparing for the next hit, hard. “One,” he said, determined more than ever to just do this.

“You’re nothing, Charlie,” Ben continued, going off script ever so. “You can’t even count, correctly, now can you?”

Smack.

“Two.”

“Worthless, Charlie, you’re worthless.”

Smack.

“Three.”

It went on, Ben saying more and more degrading things as he paddled Charlie with various degrees of strength and electricity. His whole ass hurt again, throbbing with pain as soon as they hit ten. He couldn’t remember how many they agreed on and he nearly missed number eleven, letting out a tiny cry of pain.

“Such the fuck up,” Ben hissed. “No one will ever want you, Charlie. You’re only good at being a fuck toy and sometimes you can’t even do that correctly. Who said you could ever say no to me? Why do you think you have an ounce of control here?”

“Please,” he whined, swallowing, almost too scared to safe word again, not wanting him to start over. He just wanted this to end, he just wanted to go back to what they were used to doing.

“That’s not a number, you fucking slut.”

“Twelve!” Charlie shouted at the next slap. “Please.”

“Please what, Charlie? Harder? I can do harder if that’s what you want.”

The next smack made him jump, twitching again. “Thirteen. It hurts, it hurts too much.”

Ben said nothing on the next two hits and then, he stopped, Charlie could feel him leaving the bed. Before Charlie could question it, he was being flipped over on this back, yelping loudly when his ass touched the bed. His arms twisted above him, it wasn’t what they were supposed to do. He was supposed to untie him, turn him over gently, and make sure he was okay to continue.

Ben reached for his now soft cock, stroking him dry and making him twitch even more. “What a pathetic little cock you have. Are you even hard? I can barely tell.”

Tears sprung to his eyes. “B-ben.”

“Daddy, Charlie, call me Daddy or we’re going to have to start over again and I don’t think you want to disappoint Daddy that much. You don’t want to be Daddy’s useless little slut, do you?”

“Daddy, please,” Charlie begged, watching as Ben grinned, looking all too proud of himself. “Lube.”

“Bad boys don’t get lube, bad boys don’t get what they want. They take whatever Daddy gives them and they say thank you.”

Charlie was getting hard and despite the pain, he was getting close to orgasm. Ben seemed to see it and let go, making Charlie moan and drive his hips up. “Say it Charlie, say thank you Daddy. Thank me for your pleasure.”

“Thank you, Daddy,” Charlie said, crying now, tears spilling from his eyes. This was what the patron wanted, he wanted to see Charlie break down and cry, so he had to keep going. “Thank you so much.”

Ben touched him again, still dry, jacking him off faster, squeezing his hand in a tight fist. The pleasure pain was nearly unbearable, his body was reacting to everything, no matter how he moved his ass either stung or if he jerked his hips, Ben increased speed and pressure.

Just when he felt close to the edge, Ben stopped, taking his hand away, leaving Charlie gasping and withering on the bed. “Please,” Charlie begged, thrashing on the bed. “Please.”

“Bad boys have to wait until Daddy says it’s time,” Ben cooed, his voice sharp and dissonant. Charlie wondered what he was getting out of his, if this type of torture was enjoyable to him.

Charlie looked at him, through tear stained eyes, Ben looked bored, unaffected and disinterested and that alone made it a thousand times worse. Was Ben so bored of him? Did Ben think he was disgusting for doing this?

The lace of the underwear was starting to feel uncomfortable around his cock and balls, a bit restricting, not as good as it had been. When Ben touched his cock again, Charlie made a loud sound, somewhere between a scream and a moan.

“Look at how pathetic you are,” Ben said, jacking him off again, just as fast and hard as before. “Pathetic little skinny baby boy. You’re nothing but skin and bones, aren’t you?”

This was not on the script and Charlie choked out a sob. Why was Ben doing this? Why was he saying these things? The hand on his cock tightened painfully, Charlie was leaking enough now to add some minor wetness to the slide but it wasn’t good enough.

“Daddy,” Charlie said, in a mumble, closing his eyes and looking away from Ben, embarrassed at his own whininess.

“Daddy is the only one who could ever love someone like you, Charlie. You should be happy, you should be thanking me for making you into something.”

“Thank you,” Charlie gasped, trying to remember what lines he was supposed to be saying. It was hard to keep his brain in check, he was overwhelmed with feelings, most of it pain but there was something else there. An emotion he was struggling to fully grasp.

Ben kept going, stopping again right before Charlie was ready to orgasm. He lost count of how many times Ben started and stopped, lost somewhere in the cruel words, the truth that poured out of Ben’s mouth. Everything he said was true, Charlie was nothing without him, Charlie was just some skinny pathetic gay nerd who sold himself to the highest bidder.

Who could ever want him?

Finally, when Ben didn’t pull away, when Charlie was allowed to come, he had the most intense orgasm of his life. He came for ages, body convulsing, every single nerve ending alive and active. He shook with it, trembled from head to toe, screaming so loud he probably scared the neighbours.

Screaming so loud, Nick probably heard it.

Ben let go of his cock right before it was too much and Charlie floated somewhere, eyes half lidded, brain taking a long time to reboot. When he finally felt back into his body, Ben had untied him and Charlie had curled into a ball on his side.

It felt good, he felt good, he felt light and free, his brain finally turned off for a bit. He reached out blindly for the water bottle on the desk, it took coordination he didn’t have to uncap it and take sips. He wanted Ben to help him, he almost called out for him, but the rush of embarrassment kept him from doing it.

Ben wasn’t there for pleasure, he was there because this was his job. Charlie’s the one who got some sick sort of pleasure from being edged and spanked, from being humiliated, from being filmed and prostituted. He deserved to sit here and think about what he’d done.

And yet despite the shame that sat in the pit of his stomach, he wanted Nick there. He wanted Nick to rub his back, to put on the special ointment they’d bought for his ass. He wanted Nick to bathe him, to wash his body slowly, carefully, to run his fingers through his curls. He wanted Nick to see him, to take care of him… but that was so stupid.

He closed his eyes, making himself into an even smaller ball and cried until he fell back asleep.

Nick smiled reflexily as the bartender put down his lager. “Thanks,” he said as the man nodded and walked off.

Nick wrapped his hands around the bottle, the cool temperature a stark difference to the warmth he was feeling. The pub wasn’t very crowded, but the room was warm with bodies mulling about. He wasn’t one to go out drinking after work, especially on a Wednesday night, but his coworkers had been persistent.

Jamie had told him he looked miserable and mopey, more than usual and insisted a drink would help his spirits.

She wasn’t wrong about the miserable and mopey bit. He’d been feeling off since he’d last seen Charlie, cuddled in Ben’s lap, crying softly into his boyfriend’s shoulder. Nick felt shitty about it but he’d been secretly hoping Ben would be such an ass, Charlie would leave him or something.

Which was all sorts of stupid and rude to even think about. Was he expecting Charlie to just run into his arms like Nick was some saviour?

His work mates knew about Charlie, in the sense of him being Nick’s best friend but he never confirmed the crush he had. It was pretty obvious to whomever listened hard enough, but confirming it felt like it would unlock something much bigger.

“Nicky,” Jamie said, coming over and slapping his shoulder. “Come on, stop being so anti-social.”

“I’m not,” he insisted, but knew Jamie had been right. He’d come over to get another beer, but found himself sitting at the stool instead of returning to his group. “I just wanted a minute to myself.”

Jamie sighed. “Listen, I don’t know what happened with you and Charlie, but you’ve got to stop putting so much effort into someone who isn’t yours. From the way you talk about him, it sounds like you’re his boyfriend, which you aren’t.”

“I,” Nick started, then stopped, pressing his mouth shut. Jamie was right, of course, he put more effort into his friendship with Charlie than any other part of his life. It had been something he’d done before, going all in on people without a second thought. He couldn’t possibly imagine anything going wrong when it came to Charlie though, their bond was way too strong, way too real and special. “He’s my best friend,” he defended. “I care about him a lot.”

“Which is fine and dandy, but if it’s making you this miserable, maybe it’s time you take a step back? I don’t know Charlie obviously, but I don’t want him taking advantage-”

“He isn’t,” Nick insisted. “Not really. And I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine. It’s fine.”

As if life was providing Nick with one big cosmic joke, his mobile went off and Charlie’s smiling face appeared on his screen. The photo was taken a few months ago when Charlie came over to help him bake cookies for his mum’s birthday. He helped by getting flour absolutely everywhere and licking batter off all of Nick’s things. In the phone he was holding up a whisk, smiling so hard his face was nearly all dimples, bits of flour were caked onto his hair.

“I’m gonna,” Nick said, watching Jamie roll her eyes as he dashed past her, answering the phone and heading towards the exit. “Hello?”

“Nick?” Charlie asked, voice soft and delicate.

“Hey, what’s up?” Nick asked, his hand over one ear as he pushed the door open and walked out into the cold night’s air. He made his way around the building, towards a small alley way.

“Um,” Charlie started, clearing his throat. “You aren’t home? I mean, I know you aren’t or anything. I just stopped by and I dunno, you are usually home on Wednesday nights. I was worried."

“I’m out with work mates,” Nick answered, standing against the brick wall. “A pub. I know I normally don’t but Jamie asked me.”

“Oh, okay,” Charlie said with a defeated voice. “Um, are you going to be out late?”

“Is something wrong?” Nick asked, mildly concerned. “Are you okay?”

It took Charlie a beat too long to answer. “I’m fine,” he said. “Just haven’t seen you in a bit. Wanted to stop by.”

“Oh,” Nick said. They hadn’t talked in person since he left Charlie’s flat, just a few sparse texts here and there. He knew he was being taken care of by Ben, pampered and loved. It’s what Nick wanted for him, really. Charlie deserved it after all he’d been through. “Well, I’m uh, out.”

Another pause happened, he could hear Charlie breathing softly, a bit shallow but he still didn’t say anything. Was something really wrong? Was he too scared to speak up? All he had to do was ask and Nick would leave but instead Charlie eventually spoke again. “Sorry.”

“Don’t have to say sorry,” Nick said quickly. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Um, sure if that’s okay? I don’t have anything going on.”

“Yeah, stop by after I get off work? We can take Daisy for a walk and then have supper at the dog friendly cafe?”

“Sure, sounds good. Have fun tonight, Nick.”

Charlie hung up before he could say goodbye and Nick frowned, pulling the mobile away from his ear. He saw two missed texts from Charlie before the call, one announcing he was at the door and the second asking if everything was okay. Nick almost responded, to apologise for not being there when Charlie needed him. But it was fine, wasn’t it? He had Ben, he wasn’t Nick’s complete responsibility, right?

Pocketing his phone, he went back into the pub, sliding into the booth his mates were at, where Jamie had bright his lager over. “Not leaving, are we?” she asked. “Because a really cute girl came over and asked where you went.”

“I’m not going to pull someone tonight,” Nick answered, necking the bottle and taking a swig.

“No one said anything about pulling,” Marty said, from across from him. “Just go talk to her. Get a number, you’ve been single for as long as I’ve known you Nick.”

“I’m not really interested,” Nick mumbled, but the looks on his coworkers faces started to make him feel uneasy. They were just looking out for him, right? What would be the harm in getting someone’s number? He didn’t have to do anything with it. He couldn’t spend his whole life pining over Charlie Spring. “Fine,” he amended. “But just her number, that’s all.”

He tried to drown out his mate’s cheers, as he got up to talk to the girl they’d pointed out. She was sitting by herself at the bar, the spot Nick had just left. She caught him coming, a blush on her pretty face.

“Hi,” Nick said, coming to stand next to her, not too close. “Sorry to just come over but my mates said you were asking about me?”

She let out a giggle, one that reminded him of Charlie way too much. “Yeah,” she said. “I’m Stacey.”

“Nick,” he offered. It’d been so long since he met someone, tried to flirt or come across charming in any way. When she didn’t say anything else, he shook his head. “Sorry, I’m not very good at this.”

“Hm, what is this then?” Stacey asked, smiling shyly at him.

“Flirting,” Nick offered. “Or trying to at least.”

Yet another giggle escaped her lips and Nick wanted nothing more than to hear that from Charlie. But that was exactly why he probably should be doing this.

Stacey nodded. “Ah, I see. Well, in that case, Nick, I think you’re pretty fit looking and if you’re interested, I’d love to exchange numbers.”

At least Stacey knew what she was doing, he nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine. I, uh, didn’t come here looking for anyone honestly, but a number would be nice.”

“Gimme your phone,” she said, Nick unlocked and handed it over. “Ohh,” she cooed. “Whose dog?”

“Mine, her name is Daisy,” Nick said, watching as she started typing on his phone.

“I love dogs,” she said. “I don’t have one, my flat doesn’t allow them.”

“Then you might have to come by and meet Daisy.”

Stacey handed the phone back, smiling. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

When Nick returned back to the table a few minutes later, his coworker cheered him as he sat, probably blushing up a storm. He took out his phone, looking at the message Stacey had sent herself. It was just a hi and a heart, the start of something maybe. He thought about replying to her, even as she sat down at the other side of the room.

But then he scrolled down to Charlie’s name and couldn’t help himself, sending Charlie a quick message, before closing his phone and going back to his drink.

Chapter Text

Charlie chewed at his lower lip as Ben sat across from him at their dining room table. Ben had spent the weekend a bit stand offish with him and Charlie felt like he was walking on eggshells. He’s spent the last two days with Nick, which only seemed to sour Ben’s overall mood. And Sunday morning, Ben was telling him about his upcoming week of OnlyFans work.

“Daddy enjoyed the videos,” Ben said off-handedly, clicking away at his laptop. “He’d like you to start messaging him daily, for a hefty sum. He doesn’t need dirty talk, he just likes hearing about your day.” Ben moved his head to look at Charlie. “Pretend you’ve done something interesting, yeah? He’s giving us a lot of money.”

“Okay,” Charlie answered, wringing his hands together. He wasn’t sure why he felt so nervous about things. He wasn’t new to this, not at all and now suddenly every request Ben made, felt like the very first time he exposed himself to people. “Er, do you know what we’re doing this week?”

Ben closed the lid of the laptop. “Yes, we’re going to do another glory hole.”

It was somewhat of a relief that Ben wanted to do something that didn’t require anal penetration still. While the chlamydia had cleared up, proven by a negative at the clinic yesterday, he was still really sore. This was the longest stretch of time, nearly two weeks, that he hadn’t had anal penetration and it was actually really nice. They’d done a glory hole almost a year ago, it wasn’t behind a wall or anything, but Ben had a bunch of men come in and use Charlie’s mouth as they saw fit. All Charlie could do was kneel there and take it, letting these men fuck his mouth, choke him, fill his stomach with their come.

“Oh, okay,” Charlie said. “Um, when and how many guys this time?”

“We’re going to start tomorrow morning and let it run for the whole day. We had so many requests for longer sessions after that one. As for how many… I’ve put out an open call on Grindr and our OnlyFans account. As long as they can come with a clean STI test done within the last 2 days, then they can have a go. A few of our regulars already reached out to us.”

“There’s no limit on how many guys?” Charlie asked, cautiously. Not only had he had rectal chlamydia, he had it in his throat too. That hadn’t been too bad, just a sore throat and it was pretty much better now. He was more concerned about that many dicks in his mouth again and the risk it came with. “And I’d like it if we used condoms on everyone. You had said we could start that, if I wanted.”

“Nobody likes condoms when getting a blowjob, Charlie, you know that.”

Charlie flinched, but stood his ground. “I’m not getting another STI, Ben. You promised you’d do better.”

“I’m requiring the clean test within two days, Charlie, before we did a week. So this is better. What do you expect? Do you not understand how this industry works? You’re the one who wanted to experiment with other guys, branch out, to grow our business.”

“I’m not a business,” Charlie spat back. “I'm a person, Ben. And I have all the right in the world to turn all of this down and walk away, right now.”

“And do what? You think anyone will employ you? They just have to google your name, and they’ll see who you are. And who do you think will take you in? Your family? Your friends? The people who don’t call you or come over to see you. And don’t for one second think Nick is going to save the day. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, the way he talks to you… he just wants you as bad as those men do.”

“That’s not true,” Charlie said. “Nick’s my friend.”

“Nick wants to fuck you, Charlie.”

The words hit him like a freight train, the fear he’d always had lingering in his mind, was now in the forefront. He’d been stupid to think otherwise, he knew Nick liked him and he always hoped that it was a real thing and not just biding his time.

“You cannot be this naive," Ben said, sighing, like he was the one put out in some way. “Listen, I get your worries, alright? But we’re starting to pick up momentum here, we can’t give that up. I’ll put a hard number on it, if you want. You can see each and every test with your own eyes and fuck, if you want we can buy rapid tests to do here.”

Emotions swirled in Charlie’s gut, his head ached just a little. He wasn’t sure if he knew what the right answer was, or if there was really one in this situation. He didn’t want to put his health at risk and Ben was providing him with safety, just what he’d asked for.

“I just need a compromise,” Ben added. “That’s all I’m asking for.”

Charlie nodded, looking down. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s fine, I can do it without condoms as long as they have a STI test report from the last two days. But I also can refuse people, or stop early.”

“Of course you can, that was never in doubt.”

Charlie spent the rest of the day, fighting off the anxiety that crept into his bones. Doing OnlyFans had given him a level of confidence that he struggled with his whole life. He’d been good for awhile now, steadily in recovery from his eating disorder, barely ever having to skip meals anymore.

But today, it was a bad brain day. Today felt like years ago when nothing in Charlie’s world felt right. He felt slightly out of focus, unable to try to settle himself back into the real world. He skipped lunch, Ben was too busy setting up the glory hole for tomorrow to even notice.

By the time dinner came around, Charlie felt like a ghost, roaming around his flat, trying to find something to quiet his mind. And the thing he found himself wanting the most, was Nick.

But as badly as he wanted to call Nick, he knew he couldn’t always do this. He had to be able to handle things on his own without running to his best friend for help. Nick was probably so sick of having to coddle him, having to cheer him up or listen to his problems. The last two days were great, but Nick came off a little distracted, clearly texting someone on his phone but never saying who it was.

“Will you just stop moping around?” Ben asked, when Charlie came to sit in the living room again. “You’re being really annoying. Why don’t you go bother Nick?”

Charlie flinched, Ben must be really annoyed with him if he’s openly pushing Charlie to find Nick. “Sorry,” Charlie amended, getting up and going into his bedroom. He grabbed his phone, opening his text thread with Nick.

Charlie: feel like watching a movie tonight?

Charlie watched the message move to Read, three dots appear and then disappear several times in a row. Nick was not one of those types of texters, he was quick to reply to Charlie, never being indecisive as Charlie often was.

After what felt like an hour, Nick replied.

Nick: can’t sorry, rain check?

The message didn’t seem like it deserved that much thought behind him.

Charlie: sure doing anything fun?

Dots came and went again, a sinking feeling pooled in his belly. Nick was allowed to do things without him, he had other friends he goes out with sometimes. Or maybe Nick went to visit Sarah for a bit and didn’t mention it to Charlie? There could be a million reasons why and Charlie didn’t have to know any of them.

Nick: going out tonight

Nick: on a date

Charlie blinked at the words on his screen, before tossing the phone aside. He was being dramatic, he knew that, as he laid down on his bed, looking up at his ceiling. Nick was allowed to date people. Did he think Nick would just… wait for him? Did he want Nick to wait for him?

Wait for what exactly? For him to leave Ben? Would he ever leave Ben?

Charlie rolled over, curling himself into a little ball.

The last person Nick expected to be at his front door was Ben Hope.

A part of him hoped it would be Charlie, since telling him about the date he’d gone on Sunday night, they only saw each other on Wednesday, Charlie coming over when Nick got off work. He acted normal, maybe a little reserved, but Nick knew he was back “working” and maybe he was just exhausted. It felt as if Charlie wanted to ask him something all night, like he was working up to it, but nothing came of it. Since then, they shared a few texts but clearly something was off between them.

He didn’t talk about his date with Stacey, mostly because there wasn’t much to talk about. They went to an Italian place Nick liked, she was good company over pasta and wine, but at the end of the night there was just nothing there to move onto. They parted ways, promising to text, but Nick knew there wouldn’t be a second date out of it.

“Is Charlie okay?” Nick asked, which just made Ben roll his eyes.

“Yes, yes, he’s fine.” Ben stared at him. “Well, aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Daisy was standing behind him, making no effort to greet Ben. She was a great judge of character, and not bothering with him meant she didn’t care for this vibe.

“Sure, right.” Nick stepped aside as Ben walked in.

“It doesn’t bite, correct?”

“She doesn’t, no,” Nick said, shutting the door. Ben was looking down at Daisy, an unpleasant look on his face. He eventually moved on walking over to Nick’s sofa. He sat down, making a face suggesting he’d rather do anything other than be there.

“Charlie wants a dog,” Ben said, rolling his eyes. “He can barely take care of himself sometimes, I don’t know why he thinks a dog would be good. He said he’d even settle for a cat, but I’m not about to deal with a litter box.”

The things Nick wanted to say in reply weren’t very kind, so he kept his mouth shut, coming over to sit on the sofa across from Ben. He was sitting in Charlie’s usual spot and it felt wrong to see him there.

Ben looked as if he was expecting Nick to say something, but when Nick didn’t, he cleared this throat. “Wonderful conversationalist, Nick. No wonder Charlie likes coming here.”

“If you’re going to be mean to Charlie, then you’re going to leave.”

Ben laughed, shaking his head. “I’m just kidding, Nick. It’s all banter, innit? Charlie isn’t even here, you know.” He cleared his throat again, it sounded like something he thought made him smarter but it was actually pretty annoying of a sound. “But as it goes, Charlie is exactly why I’ve come here.”

“I thought you said he was okay,” Nick said, his fear growing that something did happen to Charlie. Another STI? Something worse? He’d seen a lot of men coming and going this week, more than usual and Charlie had been pretty out of it this week. And silent, for that matter.

“Geez,” Ben said. “He’s fine, honestly. You don’t have to be so worried about him, he’s a big boy who can take care of himself, Nick. He knows his limits, trust me. And he knows what he wants, which is exactly why I’m here.”

“What?” Nick questioned, not sure what Ben could be going on about.

“Charlie would like you to fuck him.”

Nick choked on air, coughing for a full minute before he got himself under control. Ben just sat there, staring at him, Daisy was the only one who seemed to be worried, bumping her nose against his knees until he pet her.

“No,” Nick said, when he had the breath to do it. “He does not.”

“He does,” Ben said casually. “You know that’s what he does for a living, right? He lets men fuck him, actually he lets men do a lot of things to him,” Ben said laughing.

“Why isn’t Charlie asking me, if that’s what he wants?”

“Because he’s embarrassed about it,” Ben said, rolling his eyes. “He’s worried you’ll turn him down to his face. He’s a little fragile sometimes and he really wants this. He talks about it all the time, Nick. Why do you think I don’t like you?”

That made Nick laugh, snorting. He was pretty sure Ben hated him because Nick was a good person and Ben was a shit stain. Ben hated him because he actually cared about Charlie and wanted what’s best for him and he wasn’t really sure what Ben wanted when it came to Charlie.

“Because,” Ben continued. “My boyfriend wants you to fuck him. You can’t tell how much he wants you? How he looks at you? How he practically hangs off of you? He’s obsessed, Nick. I was under the impression that you were equally taken with him…”

Swallowing, Nick couldn’t help but to wonder if this was a trap of sorts, that Ben wanted him to admit his feelings so he could do something. Because there was no way Charlie wanted Nick to be on their OnlyFans.

“I care about Charlie,” Nick answered. “And I’d be blind not to see how fit he is, but he’d never want this for me. He knows I’m a teacher, Ben, I wouldn’t risk getting found out.”

“There are ways around that,” Ben answered. “Masks and face blurring. And we’d pay you, of course. You’d get some of the royalties, it’s our usual deal with Charlie’s guests. I think the video would do well, the whole big guy and twink thing.”

“I’m not doing it,” Nick said, shaking out any thoughts of even considering it. “I don’t believe you, I don’t think Charlie would even want this.”

“I thought you might be a little unsure. Just do me a favour, look at our account tonight. All the men Charlie’s been with lately? All the ones he’d requested? They all look like you. He’s had a busy week and it’s been a parade of Nick Nelson look-alikes. I’m just trying to make him happy, to give him what he really wants.”

The promise Nick had made was clear in his mind, he’d never just look at the OnlyFans account. Like any person he’d been slightly curious about it, but the look in Charlie’s eyes when he asked, he knew how much it meant to him. This was Charlie at his most vulnerable state and he didn’t want Nick peeking in.

“I’m not going to look,” Nick answered. “I promised Charlie I wouldn’t.”

Ben shook his head, standing up. “Oh well. Let me know if you ever change your mind, we’ll slot you in immediately.”

“I won’t,” Nick said, watching as Ben walked past him and towards the door. “I don’t know what game you’re playing here Ben, but I’m not interested.”

Ben turned his head, rolling his eyes. “I’m not playing any game, Nick.”

With that he was opening the door and leaving, not waiting for Nick to get up and see him out. As soon as the door shut, curiosity started clawing at Nick’s gut.

Was anything Ben said true? Did Charlie want him? Was that why Charlie was hanging around him, just hoping Nick would get the hint and fuck him?

No, he thought, not Charlie. Not the Charlie he shared his deepest secrets with. Not the Charlie who visited his mum. Not the Charlie who giggled and cuddled with Daisy and borrowed Nick’s jumpers because he was always cold. That Charlie was not the same as this OnlyFans one, he didn’t need to watch the channel to know that.

But yet.

What if Charlie had been using him as a means to an end?

Ben knew exactly what he was doing, he scratched an itch Nick had tried to ignore for a very long time now.

Charlie would never have to know if he looked, he could sign up under a fake name, just pay for a month and cancel. Charlie would never have to actually know about it. That is, if Nick could even handle looking at Charlie after that. Would he treat him differently? Not on purpose, but he knew something might shift in their relationship.

But… he couldn’t really help himself now that Ben lodged the thought into his mind. What would it mean if all those men looked like Nick? Did Charlie want him just as badly? Did Charlie want to just hook up with him or did he want something more?

Nick registered for an account, using a throw away email address and a fake name. It felt like a betrayal as he searched for Charlie’s name, his account coming up right away. It took several tries before he got himself to select the account, greeted by Charlie shirtless on a bed, as the banner. He had a coy smile on his face, looking breathtakingly beautiful.

There was some free content, mostly solo videos, that Nick scrolled past. The updates were daily, the videos blurred out since he hadn’t subscribed just yet. He assumed Ben did most of the posting, it was just a vibe based on the wording of each message. The subscription fees weren’t that bad, $4.99 looked like a very basic one, a $7.99 one that included all content and then a higher end $10.99 a month that included “extra surprises”. There was also an a la carte menu, listing different services provided for additional costs.

Somewhere Nick always understood that Charlie was a sex worker, that he sold himself for the enjoyment of others, but seeing the words on the screen, really drove home that fact. And worse so, Nick was about to be one of the people who paid for Charlie’s body, paid to see him do things.

He clicked on the $10.99 a month, if he was going to do this then at least he’d give them the most money possible.

Subscribing gave him access right away, all the blurred videos coming to life with thumbs of Charlie doing various things. The most recent video was nearly two hours long.

“As a thank you for all your patience recently, we’re releasing our longest video yet. Charlie opened our door and his mouth for a gloryhole party. We invited some of our favorite partners and newcomers to show up whenever they’d like to take advantage of Charlie, however they saw fit. For twelve hours, Charlie waited on his knees to service as many men as he could. Blowjobs are Charlie’s favorite and the more cocks the happier he is.

We have a super extended cut available for an additional $50, at nearly 6 hours long!”

The thought made him feel sick, Charlie on his knees for twelve long hours, being used over and over again. Some people might have been turned on, but Nick couldn’t feel less turned on. It took him a few minutes, but he eventually played the video, needing to know, needing to make sure Charlie genuinely enjoyed what was happening to him.

The video started out with Charlie naked, already on his knees in what looked like a hotel room. His dick was in some type of cage looking device, Nick wondered if it hurt him. The look on Charlie’s face was a bit blank, a smile that didn’t hit his eyes, a vacant sort of stare that pierced through the camera and right into Nick's heart.

And then he heard Ben speaking.

“Tell us what you’re doing today, baby.”

“I’m gonna suck some dick,” Charlie said with a giggle, biting down on his lower lip.

“How many?”

“As many as I can,” he chirped, smiling the fake smile again. The video then transitioned to Charlie with two guys, going back and forth between their dicks. Words came along the bottom with the time and names and a tally already with two marks. Admittedly Charlie looked happy enough, sucking dick with a weird kind of grace. He was good at it, Nick could tell from how his body moved, how the men reacted. He pushed the video forward more, stopping around the middle.

Charlie was still on his knees, a man behind him, holding his arms back as another fucked into his mouth without care. Charlie’s body was lax, his eyes closed, Nick couldn’t tell if he was even enjoying it. The tally had gone up to 15 men already and it was only two hours in. He moved forward even more, Charlie still on his knees, getting come on by two guys at once, his eyes closed but his mouth open and tongue out. He watched Charlie swallow what landed on his tongue, licking his lips greedily.

He went to the end of the video, the tally at 32 men, 12 hours. Charlie was sitting on a bed now, remnants of cum on his face and hair, like no one gave him the time to clean it off. His face was red, his eyes a bit swollen and he looked tired, but he was smiling again, still fake as hell. How did anyone not notice how fake it looked?

“How do you feel, baby?” Ben asked, zooming in on some cum still on Charlie’s cheek.

“Good,” he said, his voice so hoarse it came out as a whisper. “Thank you all for coming,” he said with a small giggle and Nick, for all his worry, laughed at the pun. “I hope we can do this again soon.”

“You heard him guys,” Ben said, the video still focused on Charlie. “Our little cumslut is still hungry for it.”

Nick closed the video, exhaling sharply. He didn’t think he could watch the whole thing, even more so when he scrolled down to the comments. People were saying such… dehumanising things about Charlie. Calling him a hungry little cumslut, talking about how good he looked sucking on cock, how fun it would be to face fuck him until he couldn’t breathe.

The few men Nick saw did resemble him in the sense of being big guys, but that could be just a coincidence, really.

He scrolled down to a slightly older video from a month ago. He played it, Charlie was naked again, cock in a cage, but he was sitting on a bed this time, the same fake smile and coy look. He moved it forward until he found the spot where Charlie was being fucked on his back, by some guy.

Nick could admire his chest like this, the gentle slope of his shoulders, his collarbone that made Nick’s mouth water. The lean column of his neck… all of it was far sexier than anything else happening on the screen.

Then he looked at the guy, who did, admittedly, look like him. The same build, same hair color but that was about it. It had to be a coincidence, right? Maybe that was just Charlie’s type? The guy pulled out of Charlie, grabbing him and lifting him, getting Charlie on his hands and knees. He was being rough with him and he fucked back into Charlie without giving him time to adjust. The POV of the camera kept switching, this time to a camera on the wall infront of the bed, he could see Charlie’s face as the man fucked him.

He looked… blank. Happy maybe? With how hard the guy was fucking into Charlie, Nick doubted he was getting that much pleasure out of it. The guy pushed his back, forcing Charlie’s chest on the bed, but he held Charlie's ass by his hips. The pace was brutal, Charlie was making these little sounds, the guy grunting with exertion.

He closed out of the video and moved on.

Each video was the same thing, Charlie there, smiling and playing the part but there was nothing behind his eyes. Maybe this was what Charlie wanted? Maybe he likes being used by these men and just turning his brain off? He went back months, finding a video where Charlie was being spit roasted by two bigger guys. He looked a little more engaged there, but the things the two men were saying to him, it made Nick’s heart break.

“You’re just a toy,” the one fucking Charlie’s mouth said. “Only good for two things, sucking dick and fucking it.”

“Your hole isn’t even tight anymore,” the man fucking into Charlie said. “You’re just a loose whore now.”

Nick closed out of that video.

The next one he selected was a solo video, Charlie working himself on a very large dildo, his cock free this time. His cock was long and slender, Charlie worked himself as he bounced on the dildo, finally looking like he was enjoying himself. He fast forwarded that one to the end, Charlie had already come, as seen by the splashes of come on his chest and now it looked as if Ben was jerking off above his face. As he’d done in the blowjob video, Charlie had his eyes closed, mouth open and tongue out, waiting as Ben came all over his face.

Before he knew it, Nick had spent all night scrolling through videos and posts. He couldn’t stop himself now that the door had been opened, he needed to prove something, that Charlie enjoyed what he was doing, that he had some agency in his own life, that Ben wasn’t just manipulating him into it.

When he landed on the first few months of videos, he saw a different version of Charlie than the rest. He was with just Ben in those, the two of them having sloppy but passionate sex, giggling and joking around. The camera angles were terrible, the production value was far less, but here was where he found the Charlie he knew. The difference was startling, so blatant and obvious he wondered why all those subscribers couldn’t see it.

He wondered why Charlie couldn’t either.

This Charlie gave a quiet and beautiful confidence, the sex wasn’t rough or hurtful, it was quiet and romantic. Ben was saying wonderful things to Charlie, calling him beautiful and perfect and Charlie soaked those up, radiating with those words. How could anyone want to say degrading things to him when he shines so beautifully otherwise?

Closing out the website, there was only one thing going through his mind.

He needed to talk to Charlie.