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Chapter Text

Bellatrix Black was the eldest, the golden child, and soon she would start her first year.

August 23rd, 1962,

Bellatrix was woken by the house elf, Kreature. Today she and her family would go to Diagon Alley to get her supplies for school. "Would Miss Black like kreature to fix her hair?" the house elf said after Bellatrix had dressed. "No. you are dismissed." She said, her hair had always been a problem, it was wild and curly and merlin-forbid a member of the most noble and ancient house of Black have any flaws. Bellatrix wore her black dress. She finger-combed her hair because brushes just made it frizzy, she slicked it back as best she could with pins and ties. She braided it down the side and went downstairs to breakfast.

Her father, Cygnus, was at the head of the table reading the daily prophet, while her mother, Druella, sat on his right. Narcissa was already downstairs next to their mother, Bellatrix was right on time, and Andromeda was late as always. Bellatrix sat on her father's left and breakfast appeared on the table. Cygnus put down his paper and looked at Bellatrix.

"Andromeda is late." He said. As if on cue, a loud bang was heard from upstairs, followed by footsteps. Andromeda half-ran into the dining room.

"THAT IS NOT HOW A BLACK BEHAVES!" Druella shrieked, firing a stinging curse and Andromeda. She fell and yelped.

"I'm sorry mother!" She whimpered,

"Get up. Stand straight, sit down." Cygnus hissed, Andromeda nodded weakly and sat next to Bellatrix, there were tears in her eyes.

"Bellatrix," Cygnus turned to her, "Today you and your mother will go to Diagon Alley-"

"Can I come?" Andromeda interrupted, Bellatrix winced knowing what would happen.

"INSOLENCE! YOU WAIT TO BE SPOKEN TO TO SPEAK!" Druella screamed and fired a curse at Andromeda. Bellatrix wanted to turn and comfort Andromeda, but she knew better, instead, she glared at her.

Cygnus cleared his throat, "You will go to Diagon Alley with your mother, Narcissa will accompany you, Andromeda will stay here and learn a lesson in respect." Bellatrix swallowed, her mother was insane, loud, manic, and not at all loving, but her father was worse, he was just more composed.

She felt bad for her sister, she had experienced Druella's wrath and curses a few times, but she did her best to stay out of her father's line of fire, she had seen Andromeda punished once by him, and she never intended for that to happen to her. Andromeda was often in trouble with their parents, she never held her tongue and didn't listen. Narcissa was their mother's favorite, but their father ignored her most of the time. Bellatrix was her father's favorite, and her mother liked her fine. She did what she was supposed to, always said the right thing, and never spoke out of turn. She was the perfect Black, but that was never good enough for her mother. Before Andromeda was old enough to misbehave, Bellatrix had been her mother's punching bag.

The family finished breakfast in relative silence, then Cygnus dismissed them from the table, except Andromeda.

"Cloaks on, we will apparate to Diagon Alley in a moment." Druella said.

Bellatrix put her cloak on before helping little Narcissa with her's.

"Hold my arm." Her mother commanded.

Each girl held on to their mother's arm and they apparated.

Diagon Alley was busy as ever, witches with children roamed the streets shopping for school supplies. The air smelled of sweets and the noise of the crowd was punctuated by the occasional child laughing.

Druella made a face, "More mudbloods each year I swear." she muttered under her breath. She looked at the list of supplies for Hogwarts. "Right, I'll go fetch your books and supplies, you take Narcissa and get your wand and robes, then meet me back here in exactly 1 hour." Druella handed Bellatrix a good-sized sack of galleons and sickles before whisking away towards flourish and blotts.

It was rare her mother ever left Narcissa in Bellatrix's care, and Bellatrix cherished every moment of it.

"Shall we start at Ollivanders' Cissy?" Bellatrix asked, Narcissa nodded and they took off.

Ollivanders' was dark and smelled of wood and dust. They walked in the door and an old wizard stood behind the counter, no one else was in the shop. Ollivander smiled and approached the girls.

"A Black I presume?" He said smiling,

"Yes sir." Bellatrix replied, "Bellatrix."

"I can always tell," He said as he walked over to shelves of wands. Bellatrix felt pride when he said this, she tried her hardest to uphold all the virtues of a good pureblood.

"Right, let's find you a wand." As he said that, a measuring tape levitated to Bellatrix and began taking her measurements while Ollivander rummaged around the shelves. When her measurements were finished Ollivander handed her a wand.

"Try this one." She waved the wand and immediately Ollivander snatched it from her. Just as quickly, he handed her a new one, she waved it, and sparks shot out of the tip. "nope." He said, replacing the wand with a new one, it was dark brown, almost black, and curved. She waved it and Ollivander sighed. "That's the one! Dragon Heartstring core, Walnut wood, 12 3/4 inches, unyielding! A very ambitious wand for an ambitious witch." Bellatrix almost smiles.

"Bella," Narcissa asked timidly, "Cissy," Bellatrix looked at Narcissa. "Can I hold your wand please?" She asked. "Sure, hold it for me while I pay." Bellatrix handed the wand to Narcissa with little apprehension, she would trust Narcissa with her life.

"How much?" Bellatrix asked at the counter as she opened her sack. "7 galleons." She handed Ollivander the money.

"Wand," She said extending her hand to Narcissa who handed back her wand.

They left and started towards Madam Malkin's robes for all occasions.

It was much busier in here, she saw a few older witches already being fitted for their school robes. Madam Malkin walked up to Bellatrix. "Hello dear, what can I do for you?" She asked, "I need robes for school Madame." Bellatrix replied. "Of course, and what is your name?" Bellatrix frowned, she wasn't well-known, but people could usually tell she was a Black, and when they didn't, it rubbed her the wrong way.

"Bellatrix, Black." She said straightening slightly. "Alright, well let's have a look shall we?" She said, not even acknowledging the name. Bellatrix shook it off, she was probably just busy and overwhelmed, no need to be upset. Madam Malkin directed Bellatrix to stand in front of a mirror and began measuring her. She picked out a few robes and began to tailor them for Bellatrix. When she was finished it was 10 minutes until she had to meet her mother.

"How much?" Bellatrix asked, "30 Galleons," Bellatrix handed her the money and left at a brisk walk with Narcissa in tow, she didn't want to be late and risk her mother's anger.

They arrived at the agreed meeting place before Druella and stood waiting for her. She arrived not long after precisely at one hour. Bellatrix hoped dearly that she and Narcissa didn't look frazzled. Her mother carried a cage with a barn owl, the owl was beautiful, it had tan wing feathers but a white face and body. It looked graceful and had a menacing gaze. Bellatrix fought to contain herself as her mother approached.

"Did you get everything?" Druella asked looking the girls over.

"Yes, Mother." Bellatrix said,

"Show me your wand." She commanded, Bellatrix handed her mother the wand. Druella inspected it for a few moments before handing it back, seemingly satisfied. "Let us go." The girls grabbed her arm and they apparated back to their manor.

Chapter Text

August 31st, 1962,

Bellatrix woke up at 5:00 am to get ready. Being the dutiful daughter she is, she had packed the night before and was prepared.

At 6:00 she was ready, she wore a black dress and her school robes. Her hair was done in a long curly braid over her shoulder.

She walked downstairs at 6:30 for breakfast and Narcissa met her on the stairwell.

"Hi Bella," Narcissa said hugging her sister, "I'm going to miss you."

No one in the family hugged, or showed any physical affection, unfortunately for Bellatrix, touch happened to be her love language.

"I'll miss you as well Cissy, don't worry, I'll be back before you know, just be good alright?" Bellatrix replied holding back tears. She didn't like leaving her sisters in the care of her parents. Normally, Bellatrix would stop them from doing foolish things, but when she was away, there was no telling what trouble Andromeda might cause, and Merlin forbid, drag Narcissa into it.

The sisters broke apart and walked down the stairs to meet their parents at the dining table, fortunately, Andromeda was already there.

Cygnus cleared his throat and addressed the table.

"Today, the next Black generation at Hogwarts begins. Bellatrix, I trust you will hold our family name to a great standard, you are expected to bring pride to the most noble and ancient house of Black. Today, we will all accompany you to platform 9 and 3/4." Cygnus said. No pressure or anything Bellatrix thought.

"Yes father." Bellatrix replied

Breakfast appeared on the table and they ate in silence.

At 8:00 am they were dismissed from the table and told to meet back at the door at 9:00 to leave for the station.

****

Bellatrix came downstairs with her sisters to leave at 8:50.

"Bellatrix, you will apparate with me while your mother takes Narcissa and Andromeda." Cygnus said as he held out his arm for Bellatrix to take hold of. Druella looked like she was repulsed when Andromeda held onto her. Then they apparated.

Platform 9 and 3/4 was crowded with wizards, witches and their children, Bellatrix's parents looked around in mild disgust at all the affection. Bellatrix took stock of her surroundings. She was well acquainted with all the pureblood children her age, except the girl in front of her, she was pureblood, there was no mistake, both her parents were magical and they all carried themselves with the grace of a pureblood. She had shoulder-length blonde curly hair, her back was facing Bellatrix while her parents stood in front of her. She wore a green robe and black ankle boots.

Her mother turned to face her, "Pay attention Bellatrix." she scolded,

"sorry mother," Bellatrix said, her mother sniffed,

"Remember, Toujours pure." Her father said

"Toujours pure." Bellatrix repeated the sentence that had been drilled into her whole life.

"Say goodbye to your sister, you won't see her again until Christmas." Druella said,

"Goodbye Bellatrix," Narcissa said,

Andromeda ran up and hugged her tight, "I'll miss you so so much Bella." she cried, oh no, Bellatrix thought, when they got home, Andromeda would be punished severely. Bellatrix pushed Andromeda off, "You are a Black, act like it." She said trying her best to keep her voice from breaking. Druella grabbed Andromeda's arm in an Iron grip.

"goodbye mother," Bellatrix said before her mother dissaparated back home with Andromeda.

"Goodbye father," She said turning to him, "I'll make you proud."

"I believe it Bellatrix." he sort of smiled and put his hand on her shoulder. Bellatrix felt so special in this moment, she wanted it to last forever, but her father broke away. "Go on now," He said,

Bellatrix nodded, stood straight and walked onto the train, when she turned around to see her father and sister, they had already gone.

Bellatrix walked the hallway of the train in search of a compartment. Finally, she found an empty one, she put her bag in the overhead compartments and set her owl down next to her.

Not long after, the door opened, it was the blonde girl she had seen at the station.

She sat across from Bellatrix. When it was clear Bellatrix didn't intend to speak the blonde girl broke the silence, "I'm Rita, Rita Skeeter," "You must be Bellatrix Black," She said,

"Yes," Bellatrix racked her brain trying to figure out where the name Skeeter was from, it wasn't sacred 28. "How did you know?"

"The hair, the eyes, the skin, the straight rigid posture when you have cushions right behind you. It all screams Black, and the only Black heir old enough for Hogwarts is currently Bellatrix Black." She said,

"Skeeter, I don't believe I've heard that name." Bellatrix said,

"Maybe not, I'm not sacred 28, but I am pureblood. Too many blood traitors in my family to qualify, but my parents are as pure as they get." Rita wore green cat-eye glasses that matched the color of her robe, she had green eyes and fair skin. She really was quite pretty, and she seemed smart enough. Maybe Bellatrix would grow to be friends with her, as long as she was Slytherin.

"It's nice to meet you Rita," Bellatrix said,

"So Bellatrix, what's your owl's name?" Rita inquiredd,

"Her name?" Bellatrix asked,

"You know, the word you call her," Rita answered cheekily

"I know what a name is, thank you." Bellatrix replied icily, "She doesn't have one,"

"Well she should, I'll name her if you don't."

"I'm not naming her." Bellatrix said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Fine, she looks like a... Jupiter, What do you think?"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes, the owl chirped,

"I think she likes it, Jupiter it is!" Rita said,

"I'm not naming the owl." Bellatrix replied,

"Yes, YOU didn't, I did." Rita said with a grin,

Bellatrix smiled slightly, for some reason, she liked Rita.

"Well we should change into our school robes." Rita commented.

When they changed into their robes, the train was stopping and it was time for them to leave.

Chapter Text

August 31st 1962

When The girls got off the train, they were greeted by a large man whose name was Hagrid.

"First years! Follow me!" He carried a lantern and started walking to the black lake.

Bellatrix got in a boat with Rita and some other first years, at the last second before the boats left, Eliza Zabini and Alecto Carrow joined them.

"Bellatrix, good to see you." Eliza said,

"And you as well Eliza." Bellatrix replied

The girls spent the rest of the ride talking. Finally, the boats docked and they all got out. A witch stood in the doorway, she put her wand to her throat and amplified her voice.

"Welcome first years!" She said in a thick Scottish accent,

' I am Professor Mcgonagall, please follow me." She led them all inside. They entered a room with a black carpet and some couches.

"In just a moment we will begin this year's sorting, so please arrange yourselves in alphabetical order." The kids followed this instruction and began to line up. Bellatrix was near the front naturally, Meg Avery stood in front of her, and some halfblood was behind her. Bellatrix scooted forward to put as much distance between her and the halfblood.

After a few minutes Mcgonagall led them all into the dining hall. Candles floated in mid-air and the roof showed the night sky. The 4 house tables were completely full. The headmaster sat in the middle of the faculty table and motioned for Mcgonagall to start the sorting. She began calling names. Bellatrix was 5th in line.

"Illiana Abbot" she called, Illiana stepped up and sat on the chair, the old hat was placed on her head.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" it called, and Illiana went to the cheering Hufflepuffs.

After a few more people, Bellatrix was called,

"Bellatrix Black." McGonagall called, Bellatrix stood straight and advanced to the hat. McGonagall had hardly placed the hat on Bellatrix when it called out,

"SLYTHERIN!" There was cheering from the Slytherin table, she got up and sat next to Meg Avery.

Bellatrix watches the sorting carefully. Lucius Malfoy and Rabastian Lestrange were sorted into Slytherin, and so were Eliza, and Alecto. The last three to be sorted was Rita

Rita advanced to the hat, to Bellatrix's surprise Rita was sorted into Slytherin immediately,

Rita came and sat down again next to Bellatrix, they were so close their arms were touching. Dumbledore rose and made his speech, when he finished dinner appeared on the table. The Slytherins ate and chatted about their summers. Rudolphus Lestrange came up to congratulate his brother Rabastian for being sorted into Slytherin. Rudolphus was in 3rd year, but he had known Bellatrix her whole life, most of the sacred 28s knew each other well, except the Weasleys, speaking of which, Bellatrix saw Arthur Weasley at the Gryffindor table staring at Molly Prewett who sat a few rows away.

Bellatrix wasn't the only one who noticed, Rita nudged her,

"Look, Weasley is staring at Prewett. As if someone of her status would ever settle for a Weasley." Rita said,

"I know right, the Weasleys are such blood traitors, I can't wait till they are removed from the sacred 28." Bellatrix said

"Frankly, I think I'm better suited for Sacred 28 than him." Rita said,

"Definitely." Bellatrix replied.

When dinner was over, the perfects began rounding up the students. Grace Flint was the Slytherin perfect.

"First years! Follow me!" She led them to the Slytherin common room in the dungeons.

"The password is 'Sacred.' Don't forget it."

Bellatrix would have no problem remembering that, she wouldn't be surprised if her mother had convinced Dumbledore to make that the password just so she never forgot. The common room was chilly and dark. The walls and floor were stone, and green velvet furniture decorated the room. Two sets of stairs went up the dorms.

"Girls to the right, boys to the left." Grace said handing each student a piece of parchment with their dorm on it.

She handed Bellatrix the paper, it read 'top floor.'

Bellatrix climbed the stairs until there were none left, she opened the only door on the floor. The dorm was at the top of the tower, it had a view of the Black Lake and a balcony. It had 4 beds, all identical in the iron frames, black curtains, and green sheets. There was a small bookshelf on one side of the room, and behind each bed was a nightstand and desk.

Bellatrix looked around the room and put her stuff down on the bed closest to the balcony. As she unpacked 3 girls entered the room. It was Eliza, Alecto, and Rita.

"Ohh we are all rooming together!" Eliza said. She set her stuff down on the bed to the left of Bellatrix. Rita went to the bed on Bellatrix's right, while Alecto chose the one across from Bellatrix

The other girls immediately began putting up their things. An hour later, the dorm was decorated and all the girls were ready for bed.

"Goodnight!" Rita called from her bed.

"Goodnight." Everyone answered.

Soon the only sound in the dorm was the snoring of all the girls.

Chapter Text

September 1st, 1962,

Bellatrix woke first, she always woke at 6 am sharp, she was trained to. She pulled back her curtains to discover no one else was awake. She got up and went to the bathroom. She began taming her curls into a braid and left. She milled around the room as she dressed in her uniform and robes.

Bellatrix went down to breakfast early and alone, there was no one in the dining hall yet but there was food on the tables. She sat at the end of the Slytherin table and ate. She sat there for about an hour before anyone else came down.

At 8 everyone was at breakfast and Professor Mcgonagall was handing out schedules. Rita sat next to Bellatrix while Eliza, and Alecto sat across.

Bellatrix had already finished eating when Mcgonagall got to them and gave them their schedules.

Monday- 9 am-10:45 Transfiguration, 11 am-12:20 Charms 12:30 Lunch, 2:00-3 Herbology with the Ravenclaws
Tuesday- 9 am-10:45 Potions with the Gryffindors, 11 am-12:20 Defense against the dark arts, 12:30 Lunch, 2:00-3 History of Magic, 3:30-4:30 flying
Wednesday- 9 am-10:45 Transfiguration, 11 am-12:20 Charms 12:30 Lunch, 2:00-3 Herbology with the Ravenclaws, 8 pm-9 pm Astonomy
Thursday- 9 am-10:45 Potions with the Gryffindors, 11 am-12:20 Defense against the dark arts, 12:30 Lunch, 2:00-3 History of Magic, 3:30-4:30 flying
Friday- 8 am-9 Transfiguration, 9:30 am-10:30 Charms 11-12 Potions with the Gryffindors, 12:10-1:00 Lunch, 1:30-2:30 Herbology with the Ravenclaws, 3:00-4:00 Defense against the dark arts, 4:30-5:30 History of Magic

The other Slytherin first years all got the same schedule,

"Ughhh" Rita groaned,

"What?" Bellatrix asked,

"Fridays are supposed to be a good day, but we have like a million classes." Rita complained, Bellatrix shrugged,

"It's not too bad."

"It's the end of the world." Rita put her head on the table dramatically, Bellatrix rolled her eyes and smiled slightly.

****

First class was Transfiguration with Mcgonagall, the five girls all walked together and arrived five minutes early, Professor McGonagall was nowhere to be seen, instead, a tabby cat sat on her desk. Bellatrix paused and stared at the cat for a moment before continuing to her seat. The girls sat at the front of the class, Rita next to her on the right and Eliza and Alecto behind them.

Class started and right when Bellatrix was certain Mcgonagall would be late, the cat transformed into the stern teacher.

"Good morning class," everyone but Bellatrix marveled in awe, 'so what' Bellatrix thought, the Professor is an animagus, who cares,

"Today we are just covering the basics..." Mcgonagall rattled on explaining her rules and policies for 30 minutes, then she began to ask questions, all of which Bellatrix knew the answer to. After she had answered what seemed like 100 questions Mcgonagall turned to her and said "Why don't we give other students the chance to answer."

Bellatrix fumed at this, no one had ever told her to give others a chance, plus it's not like anyone else was eager to answer, no one even raised their hand. She wanted to tell Mcgonagall to shove it, but she held her tongue and smiled,

"Of course Professor." she said in a sickly sweet voice.

The rest of the lesson went fairly quickly and Mcgonogall said they would begin practicing basic transfiguration next class.

As Bellatrix was about to leave Mcgonagall stopped her and asked her to hang back, she grit her teeth and walked over to the Professor, a fake smile plastered on her face,

"Ms. Black, sit please." Bellatrix sat, straight-backed as always, and stared into Mcgonagalls eyes.

"Tea?" She asked,

"No thank you," Bellatrix replied, she wanted this meeting to be over with,

"Have you made friends with your doormates?" Mcgonagall questioned politely, internally Bellatrix rolled her eyes, who cares?

"Yes, well Eliza, Alecto and I have all known each other our whole lives. Rita is a new face, but I enjoy her company." Bellatrix said, hoping that's what Mcgonagall wished to hear. It wasn't entirely a lie, but it also wasn't the truth.

"Good, I'm glad." Mcgonagall said with a smile, Bellatrix was relieved, she had said the right thing.

"Why did you ask me to stay Professor?" Bellatrix gently inquired,

"You seem very keen on transfiguration," She said

"I'm keen on everything Professor, I'm a Black, of course, it's in our PUREblood." Bellatrix said in a sweet voice, slightly emphasizing the pure in pureblood. Mcgonagall laughed,

"I suppose that's true, anyhow, I'll let you get to your next class, though do me a favor?"

"Anything," Bellatrix said, eager to leave.

"Be social, it's first year, and you'll have plenty of time to do work in your next years." Bellatrix was again surprised by this, no one ever told her to be social, unless sucking up to other pureblood families counted, and no one had ever told her there was time to work later.

"Yes, Professor." Bellatrix said after a moment,

"Good, I'll hold you to that Ms. Black, you are excused."

Bellatrix left to find Rita waiting outside,

"Why did you wait," Bellatrix asked, Rita shrugged,

"We're friends, it's what they do." Rita replied as they walked to Charms. Bellatrix paused and looked at Rita,

"Don't worry Bella, you don't have to say it back yet." Rita laughed,

'Don't call me Bella." Bellatrix replied, no one called her Bella, nicknames were a sign of weakness.

"Why?" Rita asked,

"Just don't." Bellatrix replied and kept walking,

"How about... Trix!" Rita said,

"No, no nicknames."

"You'll come around." Rita said decidedly.

They arrived at Charms right on time, thankfully Eliza and Alecto had saved them seats in the front.

****

After Charms the girls went down to lunch.

"How are you so bloody good at that?" Eliza asked. They had been trying levitation charms, while the rest of the class couldn't lift their feathers, Bellatrix had already moved on to heavier objects.

"In my blood I guess." Bellatrix shrugged

"Right, your pure, untouched, perfect blood," Rabastian said scooting in beside them, he was accompanied by Lucius Malfoy.

"Lestrange," Bellatrix muttered an acknowledgment and returned to eating. The other Slytherins were chatting away, but Rita sat quietly glaring at Rabastian. Bellatrix noticed and decided to ask after lunch.

Rita and Bellatrix lingered behind their classmates and walked to Herbology together,

"What was that about?" Bellatrix asked,

"What?"

"You were staring crucios into Rabastian, why?"

"you didn't notice?" She asked

"What?"

" he was staring at you, practically salivating, it was disgusting." She said, Bellatrix shrugged,

"Wizards," she said casually,

The girls walked to Herbology in the greenhouse. Rita and Bellatrix were partnered and worked on potting flowers that sang a really pretty melody. It was calming, Bellatrix and Rita talked casually.

"What's your favorite color?" Rita asked out of the blue

"Black," Bellatrix answered,

"Figures." Rita smirked, and Bellatrix smiled as well

They traded questions for a while, every answer Rita gave Bellatrix mentally noted. As she knew more about her, she enjoyed the blonde girl more.

Rita's favorite flowers were Orchids, specifically yellow ones, which was her favorite color, she liked writing and wanted to be a journalist, and her favorite flavor was mint. She had no siblings and no pets. She hated sour things and loved drama. Bellatrix also realized that Rita was very persuasive, usually when people talked a lot it was just stupid rambling, but Rita was careful with her words though to anyone else it might seem like she didn't think before speaking. She was smart and cunning, on their first day she had already picked up a few rumors.

****
Herbology was over, and the girls headed back to the common room since each teacher had assigned homework, thankfully, it was easy enough and the girls had it all done before 4, so they went outside.

It was a nice day, there was a slight fall breeze and many students were outside. The 4 girls went to sit by a tree near the black lake. All of them talked, they were all working to get to know each other better. Bellatrix was a little unsettled, she had never been open with anyone, or had anyone ask her to, or have anyone be open with her, but here she was. It wasn't uncomfortable when it was just Rita and her, and she didn't talk as much, but she did listen.

They sat and talked until Bellatrix thought there was nothing they could ask they didn't know, even Bellatrix had shared a lot of herself. Looking back these were small things, likes and dislikes, dreams, and other small details, but to Bellatrix, they mattered, and to have people ask about her preferences it meant a lot. While this was hard for her, there was much more she had yet to share.

Chapter Text

Friday October 1st, 1962

"Trix! hey wait up!" Rita called, she had taken to calling Bellatrix Trix despite Bellatrix's protests. Bellatrix stopped and watched Rita as she ran up to her. They had just finished their last class for the day and Bellatrix was going to the dorm to do homework. They had a 13-inch essay due for Defense against the Dark Arts.

"What's up?" Bellatrix asked, she was trying to be less stiff, more casual, of course, she never slouched or talked improperly, just slightly less reserved.

"I have to most fantastic idea!"

"Which is?"

"We start a school paper!" Rita was practically bursting,

"Just us?"

"Well, no, we would have Eliza and Alecto in on it as well of course."

"Right, ofcourse."

"Anyway, we could spread the news about things going on at Hogwarts, anonymously of course." She continued

"By news do you mean rumors?" Bellatrix asked quirking an eyebrow

"Well when you put it that way," Rita said as she interlaced her arm with Bellatrix's as they walked.

Rita told Bellatrix all about her plans for the paper all the way to the dorm where the other girls were waiting.

"EVERYONE ATTENTION PLEASE!" Rita said

"I'VE HAD A GRAD IDEA, WE SHOULD START A SCHOOL PAPER!" The other girls looked around in surprise,

"What, like a gossip page?" Eliza asked,

"Exactly, but let's call it news, for the sake of saving face." Rita said diplomatically,

The girls had been living together for about a month now and they were all becoming good friends to Bellatrix, though Rita was her favorite. She tried not to think about what her parents would say, maybe they would like Rita if they knew her, maybe she could come for Christmas.

"It would be anonymous. Here's what I'm thinking: I collect the news, Eliza you're good with words and you have pretty handwriting, so you can mark it all down; Alecto, you can do the art

"Okay, fine by me." Alecto replied,

"Anyway, as I was saying, Bellatrix I'm thinking you figure out the delivery and any sort of spells for the project. I'm thinking we need a copying spell, and then if you could research ways we could anonymously distribute the paper throughout the school that would be lovely."

"Sounds good." Bellatrix said, the other girls nodded,

"YAY! oh and what should be call it?" Rita asked

"What about 'Long story short'?" Eliza said

"I LOVE it!" Rita squealed and ran over to hug Eliza.

What a ridiculous name, Bellatrix thought, I could come up with better, I bet Rita would like it more.

"What about 'Message in a Bottle'?" Bellatrix said,

"Eh, I like 'Long story short' better, but that's not bad Trix, maybe you do have a creative side after all!" Bellatrix smiled and agreed gracefully, but internally, oh internally she was screaming, she was cursing and screaming and hurting.

Long story short, Bellatrix wanted to Avada everyone in the room. How dare Rita be her best friend just to pick Eliza's idea over hers. This wasn't fair, it wasn't right. How dare Eliza steal Rita away like that. And most of all, how dare Bellatrix care, why was she fuming over Rita. She hated herself for being jealous, she was a Black for Merlin's sake!

Bellatrix sat through the rest of the meeting in silence, Rita told them all the gossip she had learned, and for the first time, Bellatrix found herself not listening, she was too busy replaying the events in her mind, wondering what she had done wrong.

When the girls decided to go to bed Bellatrix quickly got in her bed, casted a muffling spell, and screamed, she screamed so loud, louder than after her parents made her watch them punish Andromeda the first time and she had to be silent; she cried, angry, sad, scared, hot tears, she cried harder than she had after her father punished her the first time. She was so used to bottling it up until she was alone and then being left alone, she hated them all, she hated everything.

Chapter Text

Saturday, October 2nd, 1962

Bellatrix woke up before everyone else, instead of waking Rita up like normal, she got up as quietly as she could. Then without saying a word she left.

She went down to the great hall, ate and then left for the library before any of her friends could show up. Bellatrix had finished all her work ahead of time, so she sat in the library and read her school books. She tried to calm down but she was still fuming from the night before.

It had been several hours since she left when Rita came looking for her.

"There you are!" The blonde said coming up to Bellatrix. Bellatrix ignored her,

"What?" Rita asked sitting down. Bellatrix didn't say anything,

"Helloooo, Earth to Trix! Come in Trix!" She said. Bellatrix pretended she had no problem pretending Rita wasn't there, but she was struggling. Rita was making it so hard to concentrate on her book and she had to keep re-reading the same sentence over and over. Bellatrix got up and started to walk away, but Rita caught her arm.

"What the hell Bellatrix! You don't just ignore me! Do you want to fight? We can fight, but don't you dare ignore me." She was almost screaming and holding Bellatrix in an iron grip.

"Let. Me. Go." Bellatrix snarled. How could Rita pretend everything was fine, did she even know what had happened, how dare she try to be a friend again. '

"No. I don't know what I did to make you this mad, but we aren't leaving till I fix it." Rita said, Bellatrix was surprised, no one her age had ever told her no, people were too scared.

"Fine, you want to know what's wrong? You, you're wrong, how dare you brush me aside like that, you're my best friend, not her's." Bellatrix spat. Rita looked confused,

"Trix, what even are you talking about? I would never push you aside, and you are my best friend, but I'm allowed to have other friends." Rita said laughing as if the whole ordeal were stupid. Bellatrix grew red,

"You liked Eliza's idea about the name better than mine! You took her side! And don't laugh at me!" Bellatrix shrieked,

"Oh, oh Merlin! Trixy!" Rita said pulling Bellatrix into a hug, still slightly laughing. "You're my favorite person Trix, I'm on your side 100%, always." Rita pulled out of the hug but kept her hands on Bellatrix's shoulders. The touch was comforting and warm. Bellatrix smiled.

"You- you are?" Bellatrix asked, she thought Rita would be upset with her for her outburst, but she wasn't.

"Yes!, and I'm so glad you told me, you can always tell me, I can't lose my best friend over a miss-communication! So are we okay?" Rita said

"Yes, we're okay." Bellatrix grinned,

"Next time tell me when something bothers you! don't just bottle it up Trix! I'm here for you." Rita took Bellatrix's arm and they left the library.

"Plus, we have our first article to make, and your birthday to plan for." Rita continued

"My birthday?" Bellatrix questioned

"Yea, it is october 13th right?" Rita asked

'Yes, but what do you mean plan it?" Bellatrix asked,

"Like a party!" Rita answered,

"Nooo, can't we just do a small thing?" Bellatrix begged, all she wanted was to spend her birthday with Rita alone.

"Fine, we can just have a small thing in the dorm with the girls." Rita said. Oh right, with the girls, Bellatrix thought disappointed.

****

Bellatrix and Rita entered the room and found the other girls waiting.

"Finally, ugh, now we can make our first edition!" Eliza said excitedly,

"Ok, let's get to work, first order of business, Bellatrix, did you figure out how to copy and distribute them?" Rita asked. Bellatrix had looked and she knew exactly what to do.

"Yes. So for copying, I'm thinking simple duplicate spell, here," She waved her wand at a piece of paper, and said Duplicatare. The paper cloned itself and Bella held it up for everyone,

"For distributing, I think we need to do it a new way each time so no one sees it coming, but what I'm thinking is this time we should have the articles rain down on the great hall at dinner. I can combine an invisibility spell and a levitating charm to do to it, then I'll release both."

"You can you do that?" Alecto asked,

"Sure, it's easy enough, so for this I'd go with, Leviosa-et-ocultare," Bellatrix waved her wand at the paper she just cloned and boy pieces vanished, then Bellatrix released the spell and the papers floated down.

"Trix! You are a genius, I love you!" Rita squealed and threw herself into a hug. Bellatrix smiled,

"Ok, now that's sorted." Eliza said

"Ok, here is the gossip I want you to write out Eliza." Rita said, "I heard Juliana Nott, the 5th year, tell Alexander Brown, the Mudblood, that she was pregnant with his baby!" Rita said, the girls all stared at her, mouths open,

"No Way!" Alecto exclaimed

'Yes way." Rita said,

"Now that you mention it, she has been looking larger," Eliza said sweetly,

"I know right!" Rita said, "Ok, Eliza read back what you wrote." Rita said, Eliza cleared her throat,

"Long Story Short, news article,
Mixing,
Pureblood perfect 5th year, Juliana Nott is pregnant with Alexander Brown's baby. Yes! The Mudblood! Say goodbye to the sacred 28 soon to be 27 Notts!
See you next edition, xoxo' What do you think?" Eliza asked

"It's wonderful, I kinda want us to sign it." Rita said,

"I thought we were being anonymous?" Alecto asked,

"No like a code name." Rita said,

"What about... Quillkillers?" Bellatrix asked,

"I love that actually! Ok so after xoxo, add quillkillers!"

Chapter Text

October 4th 1962,

Through the weekend the girls worked tirelessly on their article for 'long story short' and by Monday it was done.

The girls sat in the great hall for dinner that night, and the articles were invisibly floating over the tables.

"Ready?" Bellatrix asked Rita, waiting for the signal,

"Yea, drop em." Rita said,

"Finite incantem." Bellatrix whispered, immediately all the articles became visible and floated down. It took people a moment to notice, but soon everyone had grabbed one.

Long Story short

Welcome readers to the new Hogwarts gossip channel.

Rumors fly, but this is no story! Juliana Nott, 5th year, is pregnant! Out of wedlock no less, and here is the kicker, the father is Alexander Brown! That's right, the Hufflepuff mudblood! Say goodbye Nott family to the sacred 28, because this scandal is bringing it down to sacred 27! Tune in next time for more news!

xoxo, Quillkillers

Everyone was reading one and soon chaos broke out, Juliana stood up crying and ran out of the hall with Alexander Brown behind her. Every student was whispering, even some of the teachers were whispering. Finally Dumbledore stood up.

"Students!" Everyone quieted,

"Rumors and gossip are dangerous, it is harmful and I will not tolerate it at Hogwarts! Rest assured, this stops now, there will be no other editions and the people responsible will be caught and punished. If anyone would like to step forward, now is the time." He glared across the great hall, but no one moved. Dumbledore sighed,

"If no one is going to come forward we will have to launch an examination." He said, still no one spoke up. Bellatrix, Rita, Eliza, and Alecto all shared a knowing look.

"Fine, students I don't want to hear a word about this! Return to your common rooms at once and await instruction from your head of house." Everyone began to get up and leave.

The Slytherin common room was packed with students all talking about the article, Bellatrix, Rita, Eliza, and Alecto all went to their dorm.

"That was incredible!" Rita said, she was practically jumping with excitement.

"That was rather fun." Alecto said

"I can't wait for our next article!" Eliza said,

They talked for half the night before finally going to bed.

****

Bellatrix lay in her bed trying to fall asleep, when she heard shuffling outside her curtains, they were pulled back to reveal Rita. Bellatrix sat up and motioned for Rita to come in.

"Silencio!" Bellatrix waved her wand

"What is it?" Bellatrix asked, Rita smiled and hugged her, Bellatrix was knocked back onto the bed with Rita on top of her. The girls erupted with laughter.

After a few moments Rita pulled back and sat on her knees in front of Bellatrix. Bellatrix missed having Rita hugging her but said nothing.

"Trix! That was amazing, you are amazing!" Rita said, Bellatrix blushed,

"Thank you," She smiled. Rita laid down next to Bellatrix on the bed and the girls laid like that together until they both fell asleep.

****

October 5th 1962,

In the morning Bellatrix woke up with Rita almost lying on top of her, she gently tapped Rita who woke with a start,

"What..." Rita mumbled groggily,

"Get up," Bellatrix said nudging Rita off her. Rita yawned,

"Sorry Trix,"

"It's fine," Bellatrix smiled and sat up, Rita sat up next to her. Bellatrix felt strangely hot, but also the happiest she had ever been. She got up and went to the bathroom, she washed her face with freezing water. When she came back Rita was walking around the room getting ready.

"Hey Trix?"

"Yea?"

"Can I braid your hair?"

"What?"

"Have you never had someone braid your hair?"

Bellatrix thought for a moment, "No,"

"Well, now you will have!" Rita smiled and bounded over the Bellatrix,

"Sit on the bed, I'm going to grab a hair-tie and a spray bottle!" Rita went off the the bathroom and returned a moment later armed with hair-ties and a green spray bottle filled with water. Bellatrix eyed her warily. Rita stood behind Bellatrix and began spraying her hair while she hummed.

"You have such pretty hair." Rita said as she began to braid it. "So soft,"

Bellatrix closed her eyes and leaned into Rita's touch as she braided. Much too soon did she finish,

"Wow, that was fast." Bellatrix said as she felt the braid, it went from the top right of her head to the bottom left and wrapped around her shoulder.

"Thank you." Bellatrix was relieved to not have to deal with her hair for once,

"Thank YOU for letting me braid it!" Rita said before walking away and putting on her uniform, Bellatrix pulled out a mirror and admired Rita's work.

Bellatrix put down the mirror and began to get ready.

The girls all went to the great hall for breakfast and talked about their classes for the day,

"Ok so potions first," Alecto said

"Yay! I have the best partner!" Rita said nudging Bellatrix, the partner in question. Bellatrix rolled her eyes and looked away as she tried to stop smiling.

The girls finished breakfast and headed to Potions.

Bellatrix and Rita sat in the front of the class and waited for Professor Slughorn to start.

"Ok students! Today we are going to brew Babbling Beverage! Can anyone tell me what this potion is for?"

Bellatrix raised her hand,

"Ms Black,"

"Babbling Beverage makes the drinker speak uncontrollable nonsense, it lasts for about 2 hours a dose."

"Very good Ms Black, 5 points to Slytherin. Now who can tell me what ingredients are used for this potion?" Once again Bellatrix's hand shot up,

"Ms Black,"

"leaves of the Bitterroot plant, dragon tears, jumping-walnuts, and dirt where a mandrake has been planted."

"Correct again. Turn to page 20 in your books and begin brewing!"

Bellatrix turned to Rita, "I'll get the ingredients, will you set up the cauldron?"

"Sure."

Bellatrix went and returned with the ingredients,

"Okay, so it says here to fill the cauldron with water, Augamenti! Perfect, and now-"

"What if our next article was about one of the teachers!" Rita interrupted,

"SHHH, not here!" Bellatrix said, "Now, it says, cut up 5 bitterroot leaves into 3 vertical strips and put them in the water, then stir clockwise." Bellatrix grabbed the leaves and began to cut them, Rita leaned in,

"Think about it, I mean, it would be perfect! I'm sure at least one teacher has some dirty secret!" Rita said. Bellatrix put the cut leaves in the cauldron and began to stir,

"Sounds great, can we talk about it not in class?" Bellatrix said, Rita rolled her eyes but quit talking.

They finished their potion first and it was perfect.

****

October 13th 1962,

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRIX!" Rita jumped into Bellatrix's bed, she groaned

'Merlin, what time is it?"

"7"

"UGH," Bellatrix sat up and Rita scooted closer to her,

"Happy 11th Trix! I got you a present!" Rita pulled out a black box wrapped in a black bow and handed it to Bellatrix,

"You didn't have to"

"Nonsense, open it!"

Bellatrix opened the bow and inside was a silver pendant that looked like a cow skull on a black chain. Bellatrix picked it up and held it in her hand,

"Do you like it?"

"I love it, thank you." Bellatrix said putting the necklac3 on,

"Ah, I'm so glad, I saw it and I just thought it was so you!" Rita smiled and Bellatrix hugged her, she breathed in the smell of Rita's hair and closed her eyes.

"Ok, since it's Saturday we should spend all day by the Black lake, oh, and we can work on our next article!" Rita said pulling Bellatrix up.

The girls dressed and all went down to enjoy their day by the lake.

They chose a relatively shady spot and sat down on the grass. Rita had brought a picnic basket and began to take food out and lay it on the ground.

"How does being 11 feel?" Rita asked as Bellatrix levitated a rock,

"The same." Bellatrix answered,

"Ugh I can't wait to be 11." Rita said,

"when do you turn 11?" Eliza asked

"in like 2 months, her birthday is december 1st." Bellatrix answered no looking away from her rock. No one said anything and all the girls stared at Bellatrix who looked back after a few moments of silence

"What?" She asked,

"How do you know that?" Eliza asked.
Truth was, Bellatrix had spent almost a day in the library tracking old school records and family lines to find out everything she could about Rita. She just told herself it was normal, she didn't like not knowing things, and it's fine to want to know things about your best friend, but she didn't want to have to ask, so she did what she does best, research. Oops, Bellatrix thought, internally she was slightly panicking, she didn't want her friends to think she was obsessed or weird, she was thinking of every excuse trying to find the best one when Rita saved her,

'I told her, like a week ago, you guys were asleep and I couldn't so I went and hung out with Trix." Rita said,

"Yea," Bellatrix agreed

"Oh ok, makes sense," Alecto said,

"Anyway, when are your birthdays?" Rita said then she flashed Bellatrix a reassuring smile,

"August 27th" said Eliza

"June 30th" Alecto said

"So you all have summer birthdays. I guess only two parties a year, well of course we could probably all visit on each other's birthdays, oh- or throw a party at the end of the year for you all!" Rita said,

"What is with you and birthdays?" Bellatrix asked,

"Birthdays are the best, and they are totally awesome and I love them! Because it's fun to celebrate plus I'm super happy you were born when you were because otherwise you'd be someone else." Rita said.

"Wow, you said that all in one breath." Bellatrix said smirking,

"Oh shove it, I'm happy because my best friend was born and not even she can bring my mood down." Rita said, Bellatrix twirled the necklace Rita gave her around the chain. She liked the feeling of it on her fingers, and she liked that it came from Rita. Rita had picked this out and wrapped it, and given it to her. She didn't really get gifts at birthdays, the family came together and had dinner or threw a ball, but there were never presents. 'Rewards are earned, being born isn't an achievement Bellatrix!' her mother would say.
Her sister Andromeda once made the mistake of complaining she never got gifts when other kids did, Bellatrix listened to her sister's screams mixed with her mother's about how she was an ungrateful spoiled brat for at least an hour. That cleared up any expectation of gifts really quickly.

****

The girls sat outside until dark when they went back to their dorm. They turned the lights off and went to bed, but Bellatrix was too nervous to sleep. It was her first birthday away from family, and Rita had been so excited, Bellatrix didn't know how to do birthdays, would Rita expect something back? Her worries were interrupted by a head peeking in the curtain.

"Oh good you're awake." Rita whispered as she crawled in,

"Silencio" Bellatrix murmured, "What's up?"

"How did you know my birthday?"

"Oh, uhm, you told me."

"No I didn't"

"Fine, I sort of did some research, I wanted to know."

"Why didn't you just ask me?" Rita said. Bellatrix paused, she never asked questions, she was taught not to, she should answer them, but never ask them. Questions were a sign of ignorance, and Bellatrix needed to answer her own or stay out of it.

"I didn't want to bother you." Bellatrix said, it was part of it, the other part was she didn't want Rita to think she was stupid or helpless and couldn't find out herself, and she didn't want Rita to be upset she didn't know, plus what if Rita had told Bellatrix and she forgot.

"Don't be silly Trix! Why are you so anxious, like how can you be the most confident and scared person I know?" Rita asked, Bellatrix felt like she was being scolded,

"I'm not scared!" She said defensively

"woa, it's ok, I'm not trying to start a fight." Rita said putting her hand up,

"Trix, why are you so defensive? I want to be your friend, I want us to be close, but you won't let me in!" Rita grasped Bellatrix's hands

"You don't understand." Bellatrix said as she blinked back tears she hadn't realized had formed,

"I don't, but I want to." Rita said earnestly. Bellatrix wanted to fall into Rita crying, she wanted to talk about how her parents hurt her and her sisters, how she never felt safe, how she always had to be the best. Instead she pulled her hands away,

"There is nothing wrong with me or my family."

"I never said there was Trix."

"I don't want to talk about this." Bellatrix said, she was closing up and Rita felt it. Rita sighed and decided not to push for once, she didn't want to fight or hurt Bellatrix,

"Okay," Rita said soothingly

"Okay?" Bellatrix asked surprised

"Okay. You're not ready, that's okay. We don't have to talk about it." Rita laid down and wrapped her arms around Bellatrix, she pressed her face into the curls. Bellatrix turned around to face Rita,

"You're my best friend Rita." Bellatrix said,

"You too Trix." Rita answered yawning, she closed her eyes, listened to Bellatrix's breaths, and drifted to sleep.

In the soft moonlight Bellatrix watched Rita, her skin, her blonde hair, the way the moon's glow shifted as she breathed. Bellatrix admired her until sleep caught her as well.

Chapter Text

October 30th 1962,

"TRIX!" Rita bounded over to Bellatrix who sat in her usual place at the back of the library. She was working on the potions essay that wasn't due till next week.

"mhm?" Bellatrix said, not looking up,

"I just heard the most insane gossip! It's gonna be so great for our next edition of Long story short!" Rita sat next to Bellatrix and began reading over what she was writing, Bellatrix put down her quill and looked up at Rita, she was smiling and she was close enough that Bellatrix could smell parchment and cinnamon. Bellatrix took a breath, finding her arms were getting slightly weaker.

"That's wonder- cool, it's cool. I think I figured out a way to distribute this time." Bellatrix said, she was really trying to sound more like Rita, she was copying her speech, her mannerisms, everything, she just wanted to fit in.

"Ok, let's go to the dorm, I can tell all the girls and then we can all work on it!" Rita grabbed Bellatrix's hand and pulled her out of the library, she didn't let go until they were in the dorm.

"GEUSS WHAT I JUST HEARD!" Rita exclaimed,

"What?" Alecto asked, Bellatrix stood back and smiled enjoying the sight of Rita so happy and alive.

"You all know Ellie Jackson?" Rita asked, all the girls nodded, but Bellatrix had no clue who this girl was,

"No, who is that?" Bellatrix asked,

"Come on Trix! The ravenclaw!" Rita said, this didn't ring a bell for Bellatrix, Rita sighed,

"The halfblood in year 4 with the purple hair." Eliza said as she came out of the bathroom,

"Oh, her." Bellatrix sneered, I mean, who does that to their hair other than queers and mudbloods, honestly it's despicable.

"Yea, well I heard she and Camilo Gordon were snogging!" Rita said, Bellatrix was confused,

"So, what the gossip is that she snogged a guy?" Bellatrix asked

"Honestly Trix, you're helpless, you really should pay more attention to people and things!" Rita said

"I pay plenty of attention to things and people of importance." Bellatrix rolled her eyes,

"The thing is, Ellie is dating Sammy Merade." Eliza filled in,

"Oh. Ok that makes more sense. Oh and I had an idea, what if we put more gossip in the paper, like multiple articles per delivery." Bellatrix said,

"Well it's not like everyone spills their secrets to me Trix." Rita said,

"We could all find gossip, oh and we could take submissions!" Alecto said,

"Submissions?" Bellatrix asked,

"Like, put a note in that students who want to submit gossip about other people can put it somewhere and we can put it in the article." Alecto said,

"How would we even get the gossip without outing who we are?" Bellatrix asked,

"You're the smart one," Eliza shrugged,

"Well we could tell them to put it somewhere and then collect it." Alecto suggested,

"Right, except then everyone would know where the submissions were, including the teachers, and anyone could wait for us to check it." Bellatrix said,

"We can revisit that idea later," Rita said, "Trix, how are we delivering it?"

"Well, Halloween is tomorrow, I was thinking what if we had bats come in with the post and deliver an article to each student" Bellatrix said,

"You can do that?" Alecto asked

"Ok, we have had this conversation multiple times, yes I can do it, I can do anything." Bellatrix said,

"Merlin Trix, aren't you a mastermind!" Rita said, "Ok, let's get to work on this article."

****

October 31st 1962,

The girls worked all night on the articles and enchantments and by morning, they were all tired. Bellatrix set up the bats around 4 am and they were just waiting outside the window for the owls.

The girls went to breakfast, and when everyone was there and the morning post came in, so did the articles.

Long story short,

Welcome back readers! Did you miss us? Here's what's new,

Ellie Jackson, 4th year halfblood was seen snogging Camilo Gordon. Sorry Sammy Merade, looks like exams aren't the only thing Ellie cheats on, speaking of which, professors, you might want to check Ellie's quills for spells.

Happy Halloween tune in next time for more news, and if you want to submit any gossip for our paper, whisper it to the portrait in moaning myrtle's lavatory, it's enchanted to tell us!

Xoxo, quillkillers.

"I still can't believe you made it so the teachers wouldn't see that last part about submissions, AND you got that portrait to transfer anything told to it into this book! It's brilliant!" Rita whispered to Bellatrix,

the book was disguised as a beetle and the bard fairytale book, and to anyone who wasn't Bellatrix, Rita, Eliza, or Alecto, the inside would be full of fairy tales.

"It was nothing really," Bellatrix said, while Rita watched with glee as Sammy yelled at Ellie, who was crying and apologizing, Bellatrix watched Rita. Eventually again, Dumbledore put an end to the madness, and then Professor Flitwick took Ellie to his office to examine her quills.

Dumbledore gave the same speech about slander and gossip and blah blah blah to the students, and then he said he would be interviewing all students because this was not tolerated at Hogwarts. Then everyone was dismissed, and the girls went to their dorm to revel in their success and enjoy their weekend.

Chapter Text

November 30th, 1962

Rita lived for the drama, she loved the thrill, the gossip and the power. Bellatrix loved seeing Rita happy and she was willing to do anything to make Rita happy.

Bellatrix's family was rich, that was no secret, she had billions of galleons in the vault, and she had at least a couple thousand at her disposal. Money was no issue, but finding a gift for Rita was. Rita had gotten Bellatrix her first birthday present ever, it was a gorgeous silver pendant that she never took off. Bellatrix knew what Rita liked, but she was stumped when it came to gifts. She had spent the better part of a month trying to find the perfect gift for Rita, but nothing conveyed the gratitude and love she felt for Rita. So here she was, the day before Rita's birthday frantically searching for a gift.

"I just, I don't know what to get her Eliza! What do I even do?" Bellatrix said, since the beginning of the year, she had grown close to all the girls.

"I'm sure she'll like anything Bellatrix," Eliza said as she flipped through a magazine, "Hey, do you think Mallon and I have a chance?" She had developed an obsession with Mallon Avery, Slytherin pureblood in their year. Bellatrix rolled her eyes, all the boys in the year wanted Eliza Zabini, she was pretty, her golden skin and dark hair made for an ethereal combination. There was no denying the girl's looks, but personally Bellatrix didn't understand what made her stand out so much.

"He is the one guy who doesn't drool over you Eliza, why must you always want who you can't have." Bellatrix said, she learned it was better to address Eliza's issues or she would never get a straight answer about her own.

"I'll wear him down," Eliza said determinately. Bellatrix went back to wracking her brain for a gift,

Long story short had been doing great, everyone was talking about it and constantly on their toes for the next edition. The submissions had proved a wonderful idea, the scrolls were now always at least 6 inches, and no one had been caught or even suspected. Dumbledore worked tirelessly to find the culprits with no luck. Bellatrix often thought that if her family were trying to find the perpetrators it would've been a very quick affair, but the headmaster seemed opposed to veritasirum, ligilimency, and any useful forms of interrogation.

"If only I could go to Hogsmeade! That would make this so much easier," Bellatrix sighed,

"Why don't you send an owl to your parents and ask them to send a gift?" Eliza said,

"No." Bellatrix shut it down, she never talked about her family, except with Rita, and even then sparingly,

"Ok, what about going to Hogsmeade?"

"Are you dense? I'm not allowed." Bellatrix snapped,

"You can't tell me you of all people couldn't get another student to go and get the gift."

"I don't want to send someone else! It has to be me!"

"Then sneak out! You're top of all our classes, probably top of all first years as well, you use spells so complicated for the 'long story short' that no one thinks the writers could be anyone under 3rd year," Eliza said, Bellatrix stared at her like she was insane,

"That's against the rules!" She whispered,

"Since when do you care about rules?"

"Since always!"

"Yea, what do you call the gossip pages then?"

Bellatrix thought for a moment, she had always valued rules, so what had changed? Deep down she knew, Rita is what had changed, she couldn't explain it, but she would've done anything for Rita, they were best friends. She couldn't think of a line she wouldn't cross or a rule she wouldn't break for Rita. Suddenly she had an idea,

"Eliza! You're a genius, I got to go!" Bellatrix grabbed her wand and ran out of the dorm.

Bellatrix kept her owl, Jupiter, as Rita had taken to calling her, (And though she refused to admit it, Bellatrix had also began mentally referring to the owl as Jupiter.) in the owlery. She tried keeping Jupiter in the dorm but she liked freedom too much and when Bellatrix let her out of the cage she would bring dead mice into the dorms.

Jupiter was nestled in the corner of the owlery, Bellatrix went over to her and lightly stroked her head,

"Jupiter," She cooed softly, the owl woke up and hooted softly, "Good girl, here," Bellatrix fed Jupiter an owl biscuit, "I need you to take this, fly as fast as you can there and back, I need the answer immediately." Bellatrix tied a piece of parchment to Jupiter's leg and the owl took off.

Bellatrix ran down the stairs of the owlery and went to find Rudolphus.

He was on the Quidditch pitch.

"Rudolphus!" "Rudolphus come here!" Bellatrix rolled her eyes and magnified her voice "LESTANGE! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!"

Rudolphus nearly fell off his broom, he landed clumsily in front of Bellatrix

"Merlin, Black, you scared me, I thought you were my mother."

"I need your broom."

"No chance."

"I need it."

"First years aren't allowed brooms."

"Well, it wouldn't be my broom now would it!"

"What for."

"None of your business."

"It's my broom."

"Fine, I need to fly it to Hogsmeade."

"Hah, no chance, goodbye Black." Rudolphus went to take off but Bellatrix pulled her wand,

"Patrificus totalus!"

Rudolphus fell to the floor,

"Listen Lestrange, I need to use your bloody broom," Bellatrix pinned him to the ground and released the spell,

"Why don't you just use one of the school brooms you psycho."

"They don't go outside the bounds of Hogwarts dimwit."

"For someone who wants my help you're not being very nice."

"Please." Bellatrix bit out,

"My, this must be important if the Bellatrix Black is saying please."

"Don't patronize me Lestrange."

"Fine, but you owe me."

Bellatrix blinked in surprise, she had not expected that to work at all.

"Really?"

"you owing me a favor is worth twenty of my brooms."

"I'm gonna regret this aren't I?"

"Probably."

"Fine,"

Rudolphus smirked as Bellatrix got up. He dusted off his robes and handed Bellatrix the broom,

"Pleasure doing business with you Black,"

Bellatrix sneered, and took the broom. She got on and took off.

She had been flying her whole life and she had cloaking spells perfected.

****
The flight to Hogsmeade took about ten minutes. She touched down at the edge of the forbidden forest, hid her broom and school robes, and went into town.

SInce it was midday saturday it was packed, Bellatrix went straight to 'Flourish and botts'. There was a witch behind the counter, she had grey hair and a motherly air,

"Hello dear, here with your parents?" She asked,

"They are at another shop Mrs." She said respectfully,

"Looking for something in particular?"

"No Mrs. Thank you." Bellatrix smiled and began to look about the store.

She came across a dark purple book with a yellow amethyst in the center of the cover, perfect. Then she went to the quills, she found a silver quill. then she went to pay.

"20 galleons dear,"

Bellatrix handed her the money and went to 'Witches jewels' There were many people in the store. Rita often wore earrings and broches so she went to find some that matched the book and quill. She found beautiful silver feather earrings and a Yellow amethyst brooch.

****

She returned to Hogwarts around 4 and found Rudolphus waiting for her.

"Have a nice trip?"

She handed him the broom and muttered a thanks before rushing away to the library.

She spent almost 3 hours in the library looking for the right spell.

The plan was to find a way to combine the earrings and the quill into one object that can be transformed by a simple unlocking spell, and to do the same with the broach and book. Bellatrix wanted Rita to be able to wear the earrings and then simply say 'quillkiller' and have them turn into the quill, same with the broach.

Finally she found it and after a few trials and errors, she succeeded.

For the last part of her plan, she had to reverse the enchantment on the fake beetle and the bard book and place it on the book for Rita, this was simple enough, and Bellatrix even found a way for the broach to glow slightly whenever a new submission came. The first gift was complete. She wrapped the earrings and broach in a box and used yellow wrapping paper with a purple bow.

The sun had set and now all Bellatrix needed was for Jupiter to return with the response from her mother.

Madame Pince chased her out of the library and Bellatrix went back to her dorm with the present cloaked in case Rita saw it.

She opened the dormitory door to find all four girls waiting for her.

"TRIX! WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN!" Rita ran to Bellatrix and hugged her,

"I was in the library."

"No you weren't I checked!"

"Well, I went on a walk and then I went to the library."

"You left at like noon and no one saw you till now!" Eliza said, Bellatrix shot her a look to say cut it, thankfully she got the message,

"No matter, it's fine." Rita sighed, Bellatrix went to her bed and placed the gift under it.

"I'm going to go to bed, I'm tired." Bellatrix said as she closed the curtains,

"Oh, okay, goodnight Trix." Rita said,

Bellatrix let out a breath of relief.

****

December 1st, 1962,

Before the sun rose, Bellatrix was up. Sitting on her chest poking her was Jupiter. Bellatrix sat up and untied the response eagerly. Jupiter poked her again, Bellatrix sighed and got an owl biscuit for her.

"You are spoiled, ya know that?"

Jupiter hooted happily and flew off, Bellatrix opened the response,

Bellatrix,

Since you have done what is expected of a Black, you may extend an invitation to our christmas ball to your friend Rita Skeeter. I have done research on her family and you make a convincing point. Do not disappoint me, I have spoken with her parents and they will attend with her. She will not stay over at the manor, and make sure she knows how to behave and dress. I will see you the 17th at 12 on platform 9 3/4.

Sincerely, Cygnus Black

Bellatrix was grinning from ear to ear, she was so excited to tell Rita. She never was able to invite someone to anything, the only peers she had at these parties were other sacred 28 children, her sisters and her cousins.

Unable to contain the news she crept over to Rita's bed,

"Rita, Rita wake up." She shook her lightly,

"Mhm? Trix? What time is it?"

"I don't know. Happy Birthday!"

Rita sat up and rubbed her eyes. Bellatrix handed her the letter and Rita read it, a slow smile spread across her face.

"Are you excited?" Bellatrix asked,

"Thrilled, I've never been to a ball! Oh merlin, I don't know how to dance! And I have no clothes! Trix! What am I going to do?" Rita's enthusiasm quickly turned to panic, Bellatrix put a hand on her arm,

"it's okay, I'll teach you to dance, and you can borrow one of my dresses. All you have to do is follow what I do, my parents are traditional, but I'll teach you the rules, they will love you."

"Okay, okay." Rita said taking a deep breath,

****

Rita and Bellatrix talked until the other girls woke. Bellatrix taught her some basic rules for her parents and family. Watch the tone, address them with respect, speak with dignity, don't be too loud, ect...

The other girls woke and they went to breakfast, there were many wishes of happy birthday and the whole table even joined in on singing happy birthday.

After breakfast the girls went to the lake. It was becoming a birthday tradition. They had a picnic with cake and then the girls gave Rita their gifts. Eliza gave her a chess set, and Alecto gave her a poster of Axel Abbot, that was currently Rita's favorite singer. Then came Bellatrix's turn to give Rita her gift,

"Don't worry Trix, you didn't have to get me anything, the invitation is more than enough." Rita said, but Bellatrix pulled out the wrapped box and handed it to Rita. There was a note explaining the enchantments on the earrings and broach, Rita's smile grew. She saw the broach and earrings and gasped,

"TRIX! These are beautiful!"

"Try out the enchantment."

"Quillkiller." she tapped the earings, Immediately they transformed into a silver quill,

"how on earth?" Eliza muttered. Rita did the same with the broach which turned into the purple book, she opened it and inside was already a note of gossip. Rita stared at the gifts in awe, she delicately put them down and threw her arms around Bellatrix.

"You're amazing Trix! Thank you! Thank you so so much!" Rita withdrew and returned the quill and book to their jewelry state and then she fastened the broach to her cloak and put on the earrings.

Bellatrix smiled.

The girls had a blast that day, they played and talked until sundown.

****

Back in the dorm when the lights were off and everyone was in bed, Rita crept over to Bellatrix's bed and got in. She wrapped her arms around Bellatrix and laid her head on Bellatrix's chest.

"Thank you Trix." Rita murmured, Bellatrix melted into her touch, she felt so warm and safe. In the back of her mind she wondered if this was what love was supposed to be. She quickly dismissed the idea, love was hard, and tough, it made you stronger. When people loved you they challenged you and hurt you to make you stronger. That was what her family had taught her. Rita was her best friend, they enjoyed each other, that was it. But a secret part of her knew deep down that this was love.

Rita's breathing evened out as she fell asleep. Before Bellatrix joined her she whispered,

"Anything for you Rita."

Chapter Text

December 17th, 1962

Bellatrix and Rita were polar opposites in every form. Looks wise, Bellatrix had black curls that touched the bottom of her back, her skin was almost white and she had deep-set fierce eyes with almost black irises. She had a square face, with a strong jaw and high cheekbones, she was tall for her age and lean, like a cat. She carried herself with grace even when she tried to be casual. Rita had short curly blonde hair with bright green eyes, and her skin wasn't nearly as pale. She had softer features, an oval face and a button nose. She was shorter than Bellatrix by a few inches and while she wasn't clumsy, grace eluded her. Bellatrix was reserved and quiet, she didn't speak much, unless she was answering a question or insulting someone, and she was cold towards mostly everyone; not to mention scary as crap, not to mention competitive. No one crossed her, and for good reason, not only could she hex you so bad you'd be in the hospital for a week, her family had power and money. Rita was outgoing and lively, she had a skip in her step and a smile on her face, she talked enough for both of them. She was raised middle class, still, no one crossed her because Bellatrix had made it inherently clear if they did, there would be consequences.

Despite these differences, the girls were inseparable. Where there was one, the other wasn't far behind. Bellatrix had never been close with anyone, but she was close with Rita.

The girls had all packed the night before, and were ready to leave for the train station by 9.

****

"Oh, Rita, my parents want to meet your parents and you when we get to the station." Bellatrix said. The five girls were in the train car, Bellatrix sat between the window and Rita, Eliza sat next to Alecto who sat on the end.

"Why?"

"They want to know who is coming to the ball, they don't like surprises. Plus, I think it's the first time in like, ever, that someone not sacred 28 comes." The Black family ball happened every year on Christmas eve, all sacred 28 families (except the Weasleys came.

"Are you sure it's okay I'm coming?"

"Yes, you're still a pureblood, and my friend. Trust me, if my parents had a problem with it, they would say so." Bellatrix said, Rita leaned on her shoulder.

****

The train came to a stop and the girls all got out onto the platform. Cygnus and Druella were waiting for Bellatrix by the pillar, Bellatrix had already fixed her, and Rita's posture before they stepped off the train. Rita followed Bellatrix to her parents and stood slightly behind her.

"Bellatrix." Druella said inclining her head slightly,

"Mother," Bellatrix said dipping her head,

"And I presume this is Rita Skeeter?" Druella said,

"Yes, mother,"

Rita gave a small curtsy and Druella seemed satisfied,

"Pleased to meet you Rita." Cygnus said,

"you as well Sir." Rita replied. Rita's parents came over to the family. She was the spitting image of her mother, but she had her father's eyes. He was a tall man with dark hair.

"Mr. Black," He said nodding his head, "Madame Black," He said turning to Druella, this was clearly not his first time with people like the Blacks. "This is my wife, Ellain, and I am Charles, it's an honor to make your acquaintance."

Ellaine dipped her head in respect and smiled.

"We are pleased you have accepted our invitation." Druella said smiling, it was forced, but it was the smile she used when she accepted someone as worthwhile. Internally Bellatrix was relieved, thank merlin, she thought. She watched her and Rita's parents talk for a moment more with bated breath, all seemed well and she was content. Finally they were done,

"Goodbye Rita, I'll see you soon." Bellatrix whispered while her parents weren't paying attention, before taking her father's arm and disaparating home.

They apparated at the end of the driveway of the Black manor, neither of her parents said a word as they went to the front door. Once inside her father broke the silence,

"A respectable family and a well-poised girl, good choice Bellatrix." He said, not looking at her, before leaving to his study. Bellatrix was elated,

"Your sisters should be in the drawing room, go and join them, there is a nanny there, stay out of the way there is much preparation to be done." Druella said before leaving.

Bellatrix entered the drawing room, it was mostly glass and faced the lake. Narcissa sat playing the piano while Andromeda read in a corner, there was no nanny.

"BELLA!" Andromeda cried and ran to hug Bellatrix, Bellatrix hugged back, "I missed you so much!"

"I missed you as well Andy,"

Bellatrix was glad her parents hadn't broken Andromeda while she was gone. Narcissa got up from the piano and came over to Bellatrix,

"Bellatrix," She said,

"It's alright Cissy, you're safe." Bellatrix said. At this Narcissa relaxed and hugged Bellatrix, she began to cry,

"Oh, Bella, I missed you so much! I don't know what I'll do next year when you and Andy are gone."

Narcissa had learned to wait for Bellatrix's 'all clear' before being herself, Andromeda didn't have either the restraint or self-preservation for this, something that got her punished many times.

"It'll be alright Cissy," Bellatrix said stroking her hair, she worried less about Cissy than Andy.

"Is it true your friend is coming to the ball?" Andromeda asked,

"Yes, her name is Rita Skeeter,"

"What is she like?"

Bellatrix paused and laughed, where to begin with Rita. She told her sisters everything about Rita, what she looked like, how she acted, what they did together. She didn't share about the gossip page or any details about Rita and their friendship. She told her sisters all about Hogwarts and the teachers, they listened with rapt attention. When she finished they were both so excited to go.

****

December 24th 1961,

Bellatrix woke up at 5 am. She showered and did her hair. It had to be perfect, she always worked extra hard on her appearance for the ball, but this time she worked twice as hard. Rita would be there and her parents would expect them to be perfect. She had sent Rita a velvet dark green dress when she got home, it had spaghetti straps and the bottom fanned out slightly, she also sent some small black heels. Bellatrix would wear a black velvet dress that touched the floor, it had long sleeves and a square neckline. The bottom was straight and the back had a corset, she had small close-toes heels.

Bellatrix pulled the front pieces of her hair back and braided them together to create a half-up half-down. She wore pearl earrings and a pearl necklace. The ball started at 7.

Her extended family had arrived the 20th. She had watched over her little cousins, Sirius and Regulus for the past few days. Sirius was 6 years younger than Bellatrix, Regulus was 7 years younger, it had taken Aunt Walburga longer to produce heirs. Sirius reminded her of Andromeda and the two got along well, Regulus was reserved and quiet. He was much better behaved. Aunt Walburga and Uncle Orion had talked for a short while with Bellatrix. They asked her about school but the conversation didn't go far.

Bellatrix was ready by 4 and she went to the drawing room where she was to wait with her sisters and cousins. Andromeda was dressed in a black silk dress, it had spaghetti straps and a v-neck, Narcissa wore a black dress that was velvet at the torso and changed to silk on the way down. Andromeda's black hair was straight and fell around her shoulders elegantly, Narcissa's blonde hair was curled and fell at her back. The three sisters were quite the picture. Sirius and Regulus wore matching velvet suits, Sirius's hair had been combed and fell at his chin, Regulus's curls were cut near his ears. The four kids sat at the table in the drawing room.

Bellatrix entered, Andromeda gasped and Narcissa smiled, Sirius rolled his eyes and Regulus barely looked up.

"Wow, you look so pretty Bella!" Andromeda said, "I wish I looked like you, I feel so out of place in this dress."

"You look very refined Andromeda. You will grow into yourself more, don't worry." Bellatrix said

"Are you all dressed up for your girlfriend?" Sirius teased, Bellatrix hardened at this,

"she is just a friend Sirius, don't say such evil things or you'll be punished." Bellatrix said, she wasn't joking either and Sirius knew this. For the Black children, crucio was a standard punishment, not an unforgivable and none of them would no better for many years. It had happened before that Bellatrix had to crucio one of her cousins or sisters, it was a punishment for them, but to Bellatrix it was just as bad. They all knew not to tell anyone what happened in their homes but none of them knew exactly why.

"Sorry," Sirius said dipping his head in apology.

"You would do to learn to hold your tongue." Bellatrix said, any softness was gone, honestly she was afraid, afraid of what someone might do if they ever thought Bellatrix saw Rita as more than a friend. Her sisters looked at her with fear, Bellatrix normally was sweet to them and their cousins. Deep down, they knew something had changed, there was something wrong. Immediately, Andromeda blamed Rita, it had to be her fault.

The children sat in the drawing room for a few hours before Kreature came in and told them their presence was requested. Bellatrix had them all stand up while she fixed anything she found wrong with their appearances or postures.

They went to the ballroom and approached their parents. Druella, Cygnus, Walburga, and Orion all stood together.

"Mother, Father, Aunt Walburga, Uncle Orion." Bellatrix greeted them all in turn with a curtsy,

"Bellatrix, you look lovely," Orion said, Bellatrix wanted to throw up, her uncle always gave her that sensation, he regarded her like a predator. She swallowed her revulsion because she knew what was expected,

'Thank you Uncle." She said, not looking him in the eye, he roughly grabbed her chin and tilted it up,

"You will look at me when I speak to you." Be said,

"Yes Uncle, I apologize." Bellatrix said, looking him in the eye this time. She wanted to smack his hand away and tell him not to touch her, she wanted to run to the bathroom and scrub her face until she couldn't feel his hands on her.

He moved his hand to her cheek and rubbed it lightly before taking it away. "Good girl," He said, her turned to Cygnus, "She is a fast learner." He said,

Bellatrix put up with this, mostly because she had no choice, but also because she needed to protect her sisters, she knew as long as Orion looked at her, Andy and Cissa would be ok.

****

Guests started arriving at 7, Bellatrix volunteered to greet them so she would be first to know when Rita arrived.

The comment Sirius made about her and Rita sat in the back of her mind, she vaguely remembered one of her Uncles, long dead now (Everyone said suicide), who was queer. She never met him, but she heard the way he was talked about.

*"That filthy queer, ruining the Black bloodline, and he won't even make an heir,"*

She shuddered. Of course it was a disgrace, an abomination, so why did she feel a twist in her gut when she thought about it?

Her thoughts were interrupted when Alecto and Amycus Carrow arrived with their parents. The twins greeted Bellatrix and then when their parents left, they stayed.

"Hey Bellatrix." Amycus said,

"Hello Amycus, Alecto" Bellatrix said

"So formal as always." Amycus said rolling his eyes,

"Well, I prefer to not be avadad where I stand." Bellatrix whispered harshly, Amycus chuckled,

"Where is your sister?"

"Which one?"

"Andromeda,"

"Why?"

"She isn't a frigid bitch." Amycus said.

Bellatrix recoiled hurt, she didn't want people to think of her like this. As always she faked it, stuffing it in a box for never. She rolled her eyes and put on an air of indifference,

"I don't know, use your eyes Rosier." She said. Amycus scoffed and left, Alecto stood awkwardly for a moment before following,

Shortly after Eliza Zabini and her parents came. Eliza stood next to Bellatrix and they talked while the guests trickled in. It was now 8 and no sign of Rita.

"I guess Rita isn't here yet?" Eliza asked, Bellatrix sighed,

"Not yet,"

"She'll be here, don't worry."

Bellatrix had a list of all the guests coming, and everyone but Rita was there. Bellatrix was about to call it a night and go mingle when she heard the *crack* of apparition.

Rita and her parents came in, she was smiling and looking around. Bellatrix wanted to run up and hug her, but she resisted.

"Mrs. Skeeter, Mr. Skeeter." She said curtsying to them,

"Oh, no need for that, please, call me Ellaine dear," Rita's mother said, Bellatrix would most certainly NOT be calling them that.

They went to join the party and Rita stayed back, she wore the outfit Bellatrix had sent her and it looked beautiful, it really brought out the green in her eyes. She had fastened the broach Bellatrix had gave her to the front of her dress, and she wore the earrings as well.

"Oh, Trix- Bellatrix, you look- just, wow." She said, Bellatrix felt elated.

"You look gorgeous yourself Rita." Bellatrix said, she looped her arm into Rita's, "My sisters are dying to meet you." She led Rita to where Narcissa and Andromeda stood,

"Andromeda, Narcissa, this is Rita."

"Hello! It's nice to finally meet you two, Bellatrix talks fondly of you." Rita said,

"It's nice to meet you too." Narcissa said softly, Andromeda said nothing and just stared at Rita,

"Andromeda! Don't be rude!" Bellatrix snapped.

"Hi," Andromeda said reluctantly,

"Sorry, she is out of place at these things." Bellatrix said.

"No worries." Rita smiled,

"Here, come meet my cousins." As they walked away Bellatrix pointed out certain people to Rita.

"Regulus!" Bellatrix called when she saw him lurking in the shadows, "This is Rita," "Rita this is my little cousin Regulus."

"Nice to meet you Regulus, you look handsome!" Rita smiled, Regulus blushed,

"It's nice to meet you as well, Bellatrix talked about you for an hour in the drawing room." He said quietly, Bellatrix and Rita laughed,

"Where is Sirius?"

Regulus shrugged, "Who knows." Bellatrix mentally cursed herself, Andromeda could be trusted to be left alone at these things, even she wasn't that stupid, but Sirius couldn't.

"Oh, Merlin, Mother will have my head if he does something!" Bellatrix whispered. She liked it much better when the gatherings were at her Aunt and Uncle's because she wasn't responsible for everyone then. Next year all the celebrations would be at their manor.

Bellatrix looked around for Sirius with Rita before she found him talking with Molly Prewett. She was in 5th year and dating Arthur Weasley.

"Sirius!" Bellatrix said walking over to them, Sirius rolled his eyes,

"What?" He said,

"I've been looking for you for at least 10 minutes!"

"So?"

Bellatrix sighed, and looked Molly up and down before scoffing. She grabbed Sirius's hand and pulled him away.

"Hey! Let go!"

She pulled him into a corner, forgetting Rita was following behind.

"You wouldn't speak with her! She is with a Weasley! Are you aiming to be a blood traitor?" Bellatrix hissed, her nails dug into Sirius's arm.

"OW! STOP IT!" He said, she let go, Rita cleared her throat,

"OOO is that your girlfriend?" He jeered, Bellatrix almost smacked him, she would've if Rita wasn't there, and she would later.

"Stop being such a brat!" She hissed, she cleared her throat and turned to Rita, "He has behavioral issues." She said,

"Do not!"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes, "Rita, this is Sirius, my least favorite cousin."

"Yea, I know I'm your least favorite from all the times Mother and Father have had you cr-" Bellatrix cut him off with a sharp slap, she grabbed his ear,

"We do not speak of what happens in our home!" She hissed so low only he could hear it. Bellatrix let him go and walked away with Rita,

"What was he saying?" Rita asked,

"Nothing, he was lying. He just wants attention. Little prick." Bellatrix said, "Come on, lets-"

"Bellatrix!" a voice cut her off, she stopped in her tracks and the blood drained from her face, she turned to find Orion walking up to them, Bellatrix stepped in front of Rita.

"Uncle Orion." She curtseyed,

"Who is your friend?"

"This is Rita Uncle. She is my door mate."

"Ah, so you must see Bellatrix in all states?" He said, no one else would see this as suggestive, but Bellatrix knew better, and Orion was slightly drunk,

"Come, Bellatrix, Rita, I'd like you to meet some friends."

"Actually Uncle-"

"That wasn't a question." he said taking Bellatrix's arm and leading her towards a group of other Wizards.

"Gentlemen, this is my niece, Bellatrix and her friend, Rita. Bellatrix, this is Mr. Selwyn," he pointed to a bald man, "Mr. Bruke," a man in blue, "and Mr. Rowle" a short man with red cheeks. They all smelled of fire whiskey and Bellatrix fought the urge to gag.

"Isn't she a pretty one," Mr Burke said looking her up and down, Bellatrix averted her eyes and tried to shield Rita more,

"What have I told you about looking people in the eyes Bellatrix!" Orion snapped, Bellatrix flinched but looked up,

"She is growing into herself nicely." Mr. Selwyn said,

"Thank you sir." She said,

"Your friend, Rita? Is that her name? Oh, come here girl, quit hiding." Mr. Rowle said, he reached for Rita,

Bellatrix felt a surge of anger. No. They wouldn't look at Rita, wouldn't touch her, Rita was her friend, her guest and she wouldn't have it. Without thinking she pulled out her wand and cursed him. It was a simple hex, really, it was small, just a stinging jinx, but it was enough to make him recoil. Bellatrix pushed Rita back,

"Go," She said,

"Trix-"

"GO!" She shouted, it was loud enough in the room that no one noticed anything amiss, Rita left and Bellatrix knew she had screwed up.

Mr. Rowle straightened. "Get a mussel on that bitch Orion!" He said,

"I am so sorry Jackson, trust she will be punished." Orion grabbed Bellatrix's arm and pulled her out of the room.

"Silencio." he cast a silencing charm around the office he pulled her in before locking the door.

"You stupid, stupid girl." He said, his voice low and dangerous. Bellatrix wouldn't cry or scream this much she had decided.

"Do you know how much you just embarrassed me? The whole family!" he said, his voice raising, "YOU STUPID GIRL!" He screamed, "CRUCIO!"

All ideas of not screaming or crying abandoned Bellatrix immediately, she fell to the floor convulsing and wailing. She screamed, and cried, it was pain she had only felt twice before, once at her father's hand, and once before and Orion's. All Bellatrix could think about was Rita as he crucioed her. Was she safe? Would she be blamed? Was she mad at Bellatrix?

The other times she was crucioed she felt shame, she was mad at herself for making a mistake, but now, she felt no shame, and she was mad, furious, but not with herself, she was furious with Rowle and Orion, she wanted them to feel pain and discomfort like they had caused for her.

She lost track of time. Orion left her in the room on the floor at some point, tears streamed down her face, her skin burned from rolling on the carpet. Her hair was un done and in knots. Her dress was ripped and the sleeves were falling off, she wondered distantly if she had blacked out. She cried harder and screamed, she screamed until her throat was raw. She curled into herself and cried, everything hurt. She was mad, so mad. She wanted vengeance.

She eventually picked herself up and went to her room, she didn't know the time. She went to her bathroom and got in the shower, not even taking her clothes off. She turned the water on as hot as it went and scrubbed her body, she scrubbed so hard she was raw and bleeding more but she still felt dirty. She just wanted his hands to come off her. Bellatrix made up her mind, no one would ever know. She pulled out her wand and drew a line from her temple, the memory of what had happened. She put it in a jar and locked it away in her room.

A part of Bellatrix died that night, a part of her good nature and kindness. Little did she know, much more would be taken from her.

Chapter Text

December 25th 1962,

"BELLATRIX BLACK! GET UP NOW!" Her mother's voice screamed, it was mid-day and Bellatrix hadn't moved from her bed, her hair still wet and matted, she was still bleeding. Countless jinxes and curses had been fired at her, but she wouldn't move, couldn't move really. She barely registered her mother's voice.

"FINE!" Her mother stormed out, not long after she returned with Cygnus.

"Bellatrix, get up." He said, his voice low and dangerous, "Now."

Bellatrix was in her own world, she didn't know what was going on around her. Cygnus grabbed her arm and pulled her out of bed, still she remained limp. He dragged her to the office and put her on a chair, "Where were you last night? You disappeared after Rita showed up," "You know, Sirius caused quite a stir, he set off a dungbomb, do you know how he got that?"

Bellatrix remained un-responsive, "You've given me no choice Bellatrix, Crucio." While her body reacted, her mind didn't, she screamed and curled inwards, but mentally she wasn't there. The pain stopped, "Now, where were you?" Bellatrix didn't say anything, not out of defiance, she just couldn't.

"Druella, get Andromeda and Narcissa!"

Druella brought her sisters in, "Bella, please just tell them!" Andromeda begged, her mother fired a stinging jinx at her, "Quiet!"

"Did it have to do with Rita?" Cygnus asked, at this a part of Bellatrix returned,

"No, it wasn't her." Bellatrix said absently,

"Then where were you?" Cygnus pressed. Fire rose in Bellatrix's veins, anger clouded her mind.

"ASK YOUR BROTHER!" Bellatrix screamed, then she was spent, she began to shake and cry,

"INSOLENCE!" Her mother shrieked and fired a jinx, Cygnus sat back in his chair,

"Crucio," he said, almost bored, Bellatrix braced herself for the pain, but it didn't come, instead she heard Andromeda's screams,

"STOP STOP PLEASE!" Andromeda screamed, she was crying, somehow she had developed the ability to speak through the pain,

Bellatrix folded immediately, "I fired a jinx at Mr. Rowle, Uncle Orion punished me, I went to my room after." Bellatrix said, she didn't remember it well,

"And you think this is acceptable? An excuse perhaps?" Cygnus asked,

"No sir," Bellatrix said,

"Well, let's not bother Orion with this further, Druella, take Andromeda and Narcissa out, they are to stay in their rooms."

Druella grabbed the girls and led them out,

"This is unacceptable Bellatrix,"

"Yes, Father. I apologize, it won't happen again."

Cygnus thought for a moment, "I think I had better see what happened myself." Bellatrix felt a clawing at her mind as her father sifted through her memories, last night played back for her, how Rowle reached for Rita, how she jinxed him, all of it. Bellatrix pushed the punishment to the front of her mind, hoping to shield anything to do with Rita from her father.

When he was satisfied he stood up, "I think you have been punished sufficiently. You will go to your room and you will not come out until you return to Hogwarts. You are dismissed."

Bellatrix stood and left, she shut herself in her room. She didn't scream or cry, she just fell to the floor.

Chapter Text

January 5th, 1963,

The new year had come and Bellatrix stood on the train platform with her father. Neither said a word.

She got on the train, there were no good byes, nothing. All Bellatrix thought about was Rita, she had been spared from any fault, but Bellatrix wasn't sure she'd be that lucky next time. She knew she ought to keep Rita at arms length, but she also knew she would never be able to.

"TRIX! OH THANK MERLIN!" Rita threw open the carriage door and practically threw herself at Bellatrix. Bellatrix held her back, inhaling the sent of her hair, cinnamon and parchment. Rita pulled back and cupped Bellatrix's face in her hands, for the first time since the ball, Bellatrix smiled, she didn't think Rita would be able to fix her so easily, but she had. "Are you okay?"

Bellatrix took a breath and decided to lie, "I'm alright Rita,"

"I didn't see you for the rest of the night, and I didn't hear from you!"

"I know, I was sent to my room and forbidden from contacting anyone." It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a complete lie, "I'm alright now Rita," That was partially true, with Rita, Bellatrix was alright.

****

January 10th, 1963,

Five days later, and it was Friday.

"I want something big, it's been too long since our last edition and we're halfway through the year, even submissions have slowed down." Rita said, she was laying across Bellatrix's bed, her feet in the air as she scribbled furiously with her favorite quill, the one Bellatrix gave her.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes, "The reason submissions have slowed down is because we just got off break, nothing new has happened yet. Give it a week, I'm sure new wounds will be made and old ones re-opened."

Rita sighed, "You came so far. Two weeks with your family and BOOM, you're back to talking like it's the middle ages."

"Give me a break," Bellatrix muttered, just then Alecto and Eliza burst in.

"RITA! BELLATRIX! GEUSS WHAT!" Eliza squealed, Rita sprung up from where she was and rushed over,

"OMG WHAT?!" She responded, equally excited.

"MOLLY PREWETT IS PREGNANT! WITH ARTHUR WEASLEY'S BABY!"

"How do you even know that?" Bellatrix asked,

"I heard her crying to her friend in the bathroom." Alecto answered,

"Why is every 5th year getting pregnant this year?" Bellatrix sighed,

"No clue, but it will make a great article! Eliza, write this down,"

****

January 11th 1963,

The next day was saturday and also the quidditch game between Gryffindor and Slytherin, so it was perfect for delivering the article. Even better, both Molly and Arthur were on the Gryffindor team.

Everyone was packed into the stands, Slytherins and Ravenclaws were on one side, all holding banners with snakes and such; Gryffindor and Hufflepuffs were on the other side. Somehow Ravenclaw and Slytherin had formed a sort of alliance while Gryffindor and Hufflepuff had done the same.

Bellatrix had set the enchantment, when everyone was on the pitch after Slytherin won (Because the Gryffindor team sucked), cannons that were supposed to shoot confetti would shoot the articles.

"Do we have to watch the whole thing?" Bellatrix asked, she had been avoiding having to watch any quidditch games because she absolutely hated them. They were just really bloody annoying and loud. "YES! You haven't come to any of the games with me, and they are so fun to watch!" Rita said over the roar of the crowd, already Bellatrix regretted every choice that had led her to this moment, but it was for Rita, so she would suck it up.

"Fine," She sat back and cast a muffling spell so the noise was diminished.

Rita was big quidditch fan, though she'd never want to play, Eliza was more interested in the players, but Alecto actually wanted to try out for the team in second year. Bellatrix was sure she'd make it, Alecto was strong and fast, her brother also wanted to try out, he was just as good, the two would make good beaters, at least that's what Rita said, Bellatrix wasn't really sure how the game worked.

After about 15 minutes Slytherin was up 100-0, the seeker, Mallon Avery (4th year, sacred 28) was searching for the snitch. Rudolphus Lestrange (4th year sacred 28) was a chaser along with Mason Fallon (5th year pureblood) and Every Harrison (3rd year pureblood). This years beaters were 2 7th years, Asher Droight and Edward Murphy; the keeper was Anne Tamion. Bellatrix didn't know any of the Gryffindor players other than Arthur who was the keeper, and Molly who was a chaser.

The game went on for 20 more minutes before Mallon got the snitch and Slytherin won (350-20). Everyone had come down to the pitch to celebrate and the cannons went off. Scrolls flew up in the air followed by pink and blue confetti, just for an extra bite. Students began catching them and reading them.

Long story short

Welcome back! Did you miss us?

Long story short, we have another bastard baby in 5th year! Molly Prewett is pregnant with Arthur Weasley's baby! Maybe the kid will be as horrid a quidditch player as their parents! So tell us, boy or girl? I bet they had a nice break.

Xoxo, Quillkillers,

Molly was crying as Arthur comforted her, some Gryffindors were yelling about the injustice, Bellatrix, Rita, Eliza, and Alecto all stood together. Bellatrix looked up and saw Dumbledore staring straight at the group, she quickly told them all to grab a letter and act shocked.

****

After the match Bellatrix and Rita went to the library while the other girls went off somewhere else.

"Ms. Black," Bellatrix froze and turned to find Dumbledore walking up to them, she put on her perfected fake smile,

"Headmaster, what a pleasure," She said

"Ah, I wish it were, however considering the current events... It's caused quite a stir. Wouldn't you agree?"

Bellatrix smiles and looked as innocent as possible, "It is unfortunate,"

"You wouldn't know anything about this? Either of you?" He looked at Rita who stood slightly behind Bellatrix,

"Not at all Professor, but if you are stuck, I'm sure the Black section of the library holds plenty of information. Sir." Bellatrix said, Dumbledore smiled,

"Of course Ms. Black, good day." He said, Bellatrix-1 Dumbledore-0,

"How did you do that?" Rita asked as they sat down, Bellatrix shrugged,

"When in doubt throw money in their face," Bellatrix said.

The girls worked on their potions essay for the rest of the day before going back to their dorm.

"Trix?" Rita whispered as they lay side by side in her bed.

"Yea?"

"What happened with your Uncle? Really."

Bellatrix tensed,

"It's okay Trix, you can trust me." Rita sat up,

"It's really a blur, but he hurt me, he used a few curses and then-" Bellatrix stopped, she was on the verge of tears, she had worked hard to suppress the memories of that night. "And then, he sent me to my room and told my parents." Bellatrix finished after steadying herself. Rita hugged her closer,

"I'm so sorry Trix." She murmured. It wasn't all of what happened, and maybe one day Bellatrix would tell Rita everything, but not this year.

"If you ever need somewhere to go, or need someone or thing, I know places you can hide, and I'll find you if you want me to."

Bellatrix let a tear fall, "Thank you Rita."

Chapter Text

February 1st 1963,

Bellatrix tried to keep Rita at arm's length, she really did. It was to protect Rita, to save her from Bellatrix's family. But Bellatrix wasn't that selfless, she wanted Rita, and she couldn't just stop being friends with Rita, if anything it would hurt her more.

"Trix!" Rita said rushing up to Bellatrix after potions,

"Hey," Bellatrix said,

"What class is next?"

Bellatrix sighed. "Ya know, after half a year of school one would think you'd have memorized our schedule,"

"Why would I do that when you do it for me!" Rita nudged Bellatrix playfully,

"Defense against the dark arts."

"Ugh, I hate that class!"

"What? How it's so much fun!"

"Well, the class is fine, but I hate professor Shook."

"Why?"

"She is so mean!"

"No, you just don't listen." Bellatrix scoffed, "She is perfectly sweet to me."

"That's because you're a suck up."

"Am not!"

"You totally are! You're always like 'oh Professor Shook, you look so pretty! Oh Professor I did it! Oh Professor please marry me and have my babies!' That's you all the time!" Rita teased

Bellatrix rolled her eyes but blushed, "She is a good teacher..." Bellatrix murmured,

Professor Shook was young, maybe 25? She had long brown straight hair, and hazel eyes. She had very pointed features and fair skin. She was small, maybe only an inch taller than Bellatrix, most of all, she was smart and pretty, and she kept a hold of the class. At the beginning of the year, students would act up because she was young, but after many detentions and extra work they realized she was insanely strict. Bellatrix respected her for this, even admired her.

"If I didn't know better I'd say you had a crush." Rita said,

Bellatrix looked down and laughed, secretly she wondered if that's what it was. But she brushed it off as admiration. It was totally normal to want to cry when she got yelled at by Professor Shook, because she wanted to impress her, she wanted her to think Bellatrix was amazing. So what if she was jealous when Professor Shook admired other students, and of course she got upset when students disobeyed her. It was perfectly normal. Just like her jealousy and possessiveness over Rita was normal. It had gotten worse since Christmas. Bellatrix wanted Rita as close as possible all the time, and she hated when Rita was with other people.

They arrived at the classroom and entered.

"Welcome students! Take your seats!" Professor Shook said. Her hair was pulled into a half up half down, Bellatrix would have to try that later.

Bellatrix and Rita sat at the front of the class.

"Today we are working on defensive spells!" Professor Shook said,

"Yea, no shit sherlock, it's defense against the dark arts." A student behind Bellatrix muttered, Bellatrix turned around and glared at the girl,

"shut it you filthy mudblood." Bellatrix hissed, the girl looked embarrassed and Bellatrix turned around.

"There are many kinds of defensive spells, and today we will learn 'Protegeo', this spell will shield minor hexes and jinxes, now follow my wand motion."

After she showed everyone the correct motion she told them to all practice as she walked around the room and corrected students. She got to Bellatrix and Rita at last,

"Very good Rita, perfect." She turned to Bellatrix, "Oh, no you're too stiff, loosen up."

"What?" Bellatrix asked, genuinely confused,

"Relax, you need to let the movement be fluid"

Bellatrix tried again,

"Slow down and relax, you are so tense Bellatrix, honestly!" She said, Bellatrix wanted to cry or scream or both. Professor Shook took Bellatrix's arms, "ok now rest your arms completely,"

Bellatrix rested her arms and Professor Shook moved them, for her, "Feel how loose this is, that is what I want."

She was so close, her skin was cool and soft, and her hair smelled like lavender. Bellatrix felt hot,

"Got it?"

"yes, Thanks," Bellatrix said, her voice was breathy.

Professor Shook stepped away and returned to the front of the class.

"Ok, I'm sure you can all do a simple hair growth jinx. Partner up and take turns jinxing each-other as the other deflects."

****

For the first time, Rita actually managed to hit her with a jinx. Her hair grew down to the floor and she almost tripped on it before she was able to perform the counter jinx. After that, Rita didn't manage to hit her again.

After DADA they went to lunch.

"I actually hit her, I mean her hair grew so long!" Rita exclaimed to Eliza who had missed DADA because she was at the nurse,

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and smiled, "Well it will be the first, last, and only time that happens."

Rita waved her off, "Yea yea, but it was so cool!"

****

History of magic was boring as ever, Rita basically slept through it. Next they had flying.

Funny enough, Rita was terrified of heights, she was great on a broom, as long as she didn't look down. Bellatrix was a natural,

"Honestly Trix, you should sign up for Quidditch next year!" Rita said,

"No way, I dont want to, and anyway my mother would flip, according to her quidditch is a boy's game." Bellatrix said, they were in the air just doing laps. Rita looked down for a second and screamed. She closed her eyes and nearly fell off but Bellatrix caught her.

Bellatrix pulled Rita onto her broom before flying the both of them down to get Rita's.

"Honestly, how can you be so good at flying and be terrified of heights." Bellatrix said,

"It is a perfectly rational fear thank you very much. Aren't you afraid of anything?" Rita asked. Bellatrix thought for a moment, there wasn't anything Bellatrix was scared of, not really.

"I don't think so. I guess failure?" Bellatrix answered as they remounted their brooms and took off again.

"Are you scared of failure or what would happen if you failed?" Rita asked,

"Both probably." Bellatrix shrugged.

****

March 1st, 1963,

Bellatrix had spent the past month studying for end of year exams, they weren't until June, but Bellatrix didn't mind, after-all first years didn't have many privileges. Their gossip page had released 4 new editions, almost one a week, and they were preparing for their next one.

"It needs to be big!" Rita said, Bellatrix didn't even look up from her book,

"You say that every time." Bellatrix said,

"Well, it needs to be big every time!"

"That's what she said," Eliza said,

"What does that even mean?" Bellatrix asked,

"I'm not sure, but all the older kids say it anytime someone says something about big or hard or wet, or really anything." Eliza said, Bellatrix rolled her eyes

Rita was looking through the submissions of gossip and trying to decide which ones were credible.

So far, Dumbledore hadn't bothered them since that library incident, but Bellatrix often caught him staring at her or Rita, especially whenever a new edition released.

"We need to be more careful." Bellatrix said abruptly, everyone froze.

"What? Why? We've been doing fine." Eliza said, Bellatrix shot a meaningful glance and Rita and sighed.

"A while ago, Dumbledore came up to Rita and I. He knows we're behind it, or suspects it, but most likely knows and is just waiting to prove it's us."

"What?! Why didn't you say anything?" Eliza asked, getting up,

"I didn't want to worry anyone, and frankly I didn't think it would go on this long." Bellatrix shrugged,

"How does he know?" Alecto asked,

"No clue, he just does." Bellatrix replied,

"What do we do?" Eliza asked,

"Well, we could either stop, or be super careful, or take a break for a little, make him think we've stopped." Bellatrix said, Rita deflated at this, she clearly expected Bellatrix to have a plan. Bellatrix sucked in a sharp breath, she didn't want Rita to be upset.

"I mean, we could blackmail him." Bellatrix said, she was panicked slightly and she didn't mean this whole-heartedly, she just wanted Rita to still like her. As expected, Rita brightened, and Bellatrix thought she would do everything to make that happen all the time.

"TRIX! YOU'RE LIKE AN EVIL GENIUS! IT'S INSANE, BUT PERFECT!" Rita was practically bursting with joy.

Bellatrix wondered what she was getting herself into. At what point would she stop, where would she draw the line, could she if Rita was on the other side of it?

March 15th 1963,

"And so, with that you are all dismissed, enjoy the weekend." Professor Shook dismissed them, as everyone filed Professor Shook asked Bellatrix to stay behind.

"Do you want me to stay behind?" Rita whispered, Bellatrix shook her head no.

"Yes Professor?" Bellatrix asked approaching her desk.

"Sit, please." She motioned for a chair, "Tea?"

"No thank you."

"Right, well, I have some concerns about you."

Bellatrix tensed at this. What had she done wrong? She was always respectful, she always did her work, she got excellent marks. So what had gone wrong.

"Have I done something Professor?" Bellatrix asked distressed,

"No, nothing you've done. I'm worried about you. You seem tense, and scared. I'm not sure what's happening, but it's concerning."

Bellatrix was offended by this, there wasn't anything wrong with her, she wasn't broken. She wasn't scared, she gritted her teeth.

"I'm not broken." Bellatrix said indignantly,

"I never said you were."

Bellatrix took a breath and glared at the Professor. "May I go?" She asked, tense.

Professor Shook sighed in defeat, "Yes, go." She resigned. Bellatrix walked to the door, "If you need something Bellatrix, I'm here." She said, Bellatrix gritted her teeth.

"I don't need help." She bit out. She left, letting the door slam behind her. Her jaw was clenched. How dare she? What makes her think Bellatrix needs anything, from anyone. Least of all her. She didn't find Professor Shook pretty anymore, or smart. She felt nothing for the teacher that had been her favorite other than hate. Why would she think Bellatrix had something wrong with her!

On a deeper level that Bellatrix didn't acknowledge, she was upset, she was insecure, and she felt like a failure.

*****

"I HATE HER!" Bellatrix screamed and used her wand to send another glass smashing into the wall of her dorm. There was no one there, and no one would be there, they were all in class, as she was supposed to be, but she was in a rage. Bellatrix had cast a silencing spell over the dorm. She screamed, it was raw and angry. She felt everything she kept down, her sadness, her fear, her anger, all of it. She remembered christmas, all the pain, and anger, she remembered the way she felt when Rita took Eliza's idea. every bad thing she experienced, she felt.

She didn't register anything but the blood rushing in her ears and the pounding of her heart. She didn't notice when her hands bled, or when her throat was so raw she began coughing, or when she fell to the ground in the broken glass, or when she started crying, or when Rita walked in.

"Trix? TRIX!" Rita rushed to her side, ignoring the glass. She grasped Bellatrix, who was sobbing, in her arms. "Bellatrix, shhh it's ok, you're ok, I'm here." Rita whispered as she pet her hair. Bellatrix grasped Rita back and heaved. She wasn't quite sure what was happening, but she felt like she was going to die.

Rita continued to hold Bellatrix until her grip slackened and she stopped hyperventilating, it was only then that Rita let go. She began to pick up the glass as Bellatrix just sat there, staring at the wall. Then she went and got a rag, she cleaned the cuts on Bellatrix from the glass. Bellatrix still sat, unresponsive. Rita tried to lift Bellatrix and carry her, it didn't work very well, but Rita was able to get Bellatrix onto the bed.

Bellatrix was tired, so tired, and it hurt, everything hurt, her chest especially.

"Should I get someone?" Rita asked, Bellatrix looked up at her and she panicked at this.

"NO! NO! PLEASE NO!" She began to scream again, Rita recoiled.

"ok, ok I won't get anyone. I'll stay right here with you." Rita said, Bellatrix calmed, she exhaled, and again, she was gone. Rita climbed into the bed and wrapped her arms around Bellatrix.

*****

March 16th 1962, Midnight

Bellatrix woke up with a horrible pain in her throat. She jolted upright and gasped.

"Hey, hey it's okay." Rita said, she sat up and took Bellatrix's face in her hands,

Bellatrix blinked in confusion, she wondered what had happened, she was vaguely aware that she had gone into a rage, but she didn't remember Rita.

"What-" She tried, her voice was hoarse and her throat hurt.

"Here," Rita said, she handed Bellatrix a glass of water. Bellatrix swallowed the water and tried again,

"What did I do?" She whispered,

"I came in, and you were on the floor, surrounded in broken glass and crying, I cleaned it up and got you to bed. I'm not sure what happened, you didn't come to our lesson after DADA so I came to check on you. What happened in that meeting?" Rita's voice was soothing and soft.

"Did I hurt you?" Bellatrix asked,

"No, no. I'm okay Trix." Rita said, Bellatrix nodded,

"I hate her." Bellatrix said,

"Who?"

"Professor Shook."

"Oh Trix," Rita hugged Bellatrix who began crying again, "what did she say to you?"

"She said that I was broken-" Bellatrix said as warm tears fell on her cheeks,

"Oh Trix, You're not broken. You're not even a little broken, I promise."

"I don't think she likes me anymore."

"Well I do, and that won't ever change."

Bellatrix faced Rita. Her blonde hair glowed in the moonlight. "Promise?" Bellatrix whispered,

"Promise." Rita answered.

Bellatrix fell into her friend's arms, and she felt safe.

Chapter Text

March 16th 1963,

Bellatrix woke up, Rita was holding her, it was light outside, no one was in the dorm.

"Trix?" Rita asked, seeing Bellatrix was awake,

"Yea." Bellatrix sat up, "What time is it?"

"12. Everyone else went outside. They are by the black lake."

Bellatrix nodded and stood up. She went to the bathroom to wash her face, her throat still hurt.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Rita asked when she came back, Bellatrix stopped. She wasn't sure if she wanted to talk about it.

"I remember parts of it, I remember being angry, and throwing things." Bellatrix said, she looked around and found no evidence of her melt down.

"I cleaned it all and then repaired the glasses. You were bleeding a little, but I don't think you are anymore." Rita said, Bellatrix saw scratches on her hands and nodded.

"Thanks." She said, no she didn't want to talk about it. "did you tell anyone?"

"No, I just told the teachers and our friends that you were sick. I cleared you once you fell asleep, then I came back." Rita said,

"Okay." Bellatrix said, she began to dress.

"Do you remember what I said?" Rita asked. Bellatrix did, she remembered Rita telling her she wasn't broken, that she would always like her, and nothing would change. Bellatrix nodded.

****

Bellatrix and Rita went to the black lake that day and spent the day with their friends, Bellatrix zoned out most of the time. She sat still and didn't really register what was happening, everything felt buzzy, and fake.

****

April 1st, 1963,

"Happy April fools!" Rita said, she placed a paper fish on Bellatrix's back. Bellatrix tried to remove it, but it didn't come off,

"What is that?"

"Sticking charm! It'll wear off at the end of the day don't worry."

"Why?"

"Poisson D'Avril! Isn't that a french thing? Aren't you french?" Rita said,

"Yea, but this has never happened to me." Bellatrix said craning her neck to see the fake fish,

"Ok, that's because your family doesn't know the meaning of fun or joy." Rita said playfully, Bellatrix laughed,

"Who told you about this tradition?" Bellatrix asked,

"I looked it up! I wanted to know more about you, and you're french, sooo." Rita shrugged,

"Ok, well, anything that seems any bit of fun, I have never partaken in, and neither has my family." Bellatrix said, she was smiling,

"Well, now you can!" Rita said,

Bellatrix walked around the rest of the day with a fish on her back, wondering how this had happened. Had it been anyone else she would've cursed them and ripped the fish off, but it wasn't anyone, it was Rita.

****

April 12th 1963,

"Okay, so I heard that David Clark, the beater on the Gryffindor team sabotaged Regina Brook's Broom! That's the only reason Gryffindor won the match against Ravenclaw." Rita said,

It was after classes and the girls were in the dorm working on their next edition of the Gossip page.

"That makes sense because their team has been on a major losing streak, and Ravenclaw has been doing great." Alecto said. Bellatrix did not understand quidditch at all so she just nodded.

"Ok, so Eliza, put that in with the thing about Benjamin cheating on the test." Rita said as she flipped through the submissions.

"I have an idea for distribution this time." Bellatrix said, "What if we made it so that any time someone walked out of their common room an article would drop." Bellatrix said,

"That's good, but how? You can't be there every time someone goes into one of the common rooms."

"Good, point. I'll work on that for next time. Ok, so what if we had it come up with dinner, like on the plates." Bellatrix said, "As long as I figured out how the food appears I can get the letters to come the same way."

"Love it," Rita said.

The girls worked for the next few days on the article.

****

April 18th 1963,

Dinner came that day with a surprise. It was their longest article yet.

Long story short,

Hey everyone!

So, we have updates. Remember that first article? Well, Juliana Nott has got rid of the baby. Her and Alexander have called it quits. Sorry, but it seems like her blood status is more important that her mudblood boyfriend.
Meanwhile, Molly and Arthur have decided to get married before the baby comes. Any names picked out yet?
Now for the new, Benjamin Green cheated on his potions exam, we all know he couldn't get more than an Poor on that, an Outstanding was pushing it. Honestly, if you're cheating be smart about it. Pick a struggle, you can't be book dumb and street dumb. Gryffindor's losing streak was broken in their recent win against Ravenclaw, but a little snitch told me David Clark sabotaged Regina Brook's broom!
And to finish, we have some intel about a teacher! Professor Shook was seen at the hog's head with some shady figure! Is it a lover? A drug dealer? Or is she plotting something sinister? What do you think?

As always, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. You never know who you can trust...

Xoxo Quillkillers.

Bellatrix turned to Rita wide eyed,

"You didn't say anything about Professor Shook!" Bellatrix whispered,

Rita shrugged, "It's not true, I made it up. She doesn't get to do that to you and get away with it." Rita said, Bellatrix wasn't sure whether she was offended or grateful, "Don't worry about it Trix, she deserved it."

Grateful, Bellatrix decided she was grateful, "Remind me to hug you later." Bellatrix said, Rita smiled.

The article created a big stir, a Ravenclaw and Gryffindor student got into a fight, they started firing jinxes from across the great hall. Benjamin was told to go to Slughorn's office, and Professor Shook was having a heated argument with McGonagall.

Dumbledore tried to calm everyone with little success. The biggest issue for him with Long story short was that it was always true, so it's not like he could say it was all fake, because it never was, and everyone's reactions always confirmed them. He had his suspicions of course, but no proof.

April 30th 1963,

Since their article, Benjamin had been given 3 months detention and failed the exam, David Clark had been banned from the quidditch team, and Gryffindor had been eliminated from the cup. Professor Shook had disappeared, no one knew if she had been fired or if she had quit.

Their new DADA teacher was Professor Sallow. He was a man in his mid 40s, blue eyes, black hair. He was a Slytherin, Bellatrix liked him quite a bit, he was strict and smart, but not attractive in the way Shook had been. It was a good thing, Bellatrix didn't have trouble focusing, and she didn't worry about him liking her as much.

Bellatrix didn't see Dumbledore ever after that point, not even at meals. Everything was good. Her and Rita had a blast, they hung out, and told each other secrets, and played chess, which Bellatrix always won. Even when there was nothing to do or say they were together, just enjoying each other.

May 10th, 1963,

Exams were in less than a month, and Bellatrix had been studying since February, she was prepared and ready. Her friends had just begun studying, trying to cram the last nine months of learning into 20 days. Exams were from June 1st through the 4th. They had been given their schedule that morning.

June 1st- Transfiguration 9-10, Charms 1-2

June 2nd- Herbology 9-10, Potions 1-2

June 3rd- DADA 9-11, History of magic 1-2

June 4th- Flying 1-2, Astronomy 11pm-12

They had plenty of breaks and then another week of school before they returned home on the 12th.

"I'm going to fail everything!" Eliza said, the girls were in the library revising for Transfiguration, well Bellatrix was helping them revise, she had it all down.

"No you're not." Bellatrix said, "Try again, like this." She flicked her wand and turned the flower into a wood music box.

Eliza tried again, but her music box crumpled as it was made of petals, she groaned. Rita had succeeded in turning her flower into a china music box with floral print, it was good enough. Alecto was still trying to make the music box play music.

This is how the week had gone, after lessons the girls would all go to the library to study, Bellatrix studied between helping them. She liked helping them, it was nice to know more and be able to feel needed. She enjoyed leaning over Rita while she worked on enchantments, positioning her arms correctly and telling her exactly what to say. It felt good.

Most nights the girls stayed till madame Pince shooed them away, then they went back to their dorm and studied some more.

****

May 14th 1963,

"Students, as you all know end of year exams are coming up, you are all about to enter your second year, I am giving you all the forms for the new classes you will be able to take next year, the deadline for submitting these is June 13th, but you should turn them in as soon as possible. The minimum is 1 new class, but I encourage you all to take more, and please, don't take a class just because your friends are going to." Professor Slughorn, head of Slytherin, began to hand out the forms. There were many classes to choose from, and next year flying wasn't a requirement.

Trelawney- Divination
Ferox- Care of magical creatures
Flint- Ancient ruins
Pittman- Arithmancy
Rosehill- Flying
Parshin- Muggle studies
Jackson- Ancient Studies
Taven- Art
Lomin- Field studies
Sapper- Ghoul studies
Huggos- Magical theory
Waller- Muggle art
Lee- Muggle Music
Raxon- Music
Carpenter- Xylomancy
Maddin- Alchemy

"What will you take?" Rita asked,

"Not sure, definitely not muggle studies though." Bellatrix said,

"Yea, no." Rita agreed,

"Class dismissed," Slughorn said, everyone began to pack.

****

Back in the dorm the girls were all talking about which classes to take.

"I think I'm going to take muggle studies." Eliza said,

"Why?" Bellatrix asked, Eliza shrugged,

"Might be interesting, or at least an easy grade." She said,

"I'm going to take flying and that's it." Alecto said,

"Well, I'm dropping flying." Bellatrix said,

"What? Why? You're so good at it! Like, I'm dropping it but I'm awful." Rita said,

"Yea, but I don't intend to do more with it and I don't care for it." Bellatrix said,

"Agreed." Eliza said,

"Well, I'm going to turn my form into Slughorn." Alecto said as she left.

"I'm going to take Arithmancy and Ancient Ruins for sure." Bellatrix mused, "Nothing muggle." She looked back at her list and crossed out what she wasn't doing,

"I don't want to do Xylomancy."

"what is that?" Rita asked,

"Divination but with wood." Bellatrix answered,

"I want to do art, will you do it with me Trix?"

"sure. We could do music as well."

"Ok."

"I'm doing care of magical creatures and field studies." Rita said,

"I'll do care of magical creatures as well," Eliza said,

"I think I'll pick field studies," Bellatrix said. "Ok, so I'm doing Ancient ruins, Arithmancy, Alchemy, Art, Music, and field studies." Bellatrix said after she filled out the forms for those classes,

"I'll do Care of magical creatures, Muggle studies and Ghoul studies." Eliza said,

"I think I want to do Care of magical creatures, Art, Music, and field studies." Rita filled out her forms.

"alright, let's go give Slughorn our forms." Eliza said when they had all finished picking their classes.

*****

"Mrs. Black, come in."

"I have my forms for you Professor Slughorn."

"Ah, wonderful." He took the forms and looked them over. "Six classes?"

"Yes Sir,"

"Well, unfortunately some of these classes over lap... " He said,

"Oh..."

"no worries, we'll just get you approved for a time turner." He said, "I trust you are familiar with them?"

"Yes of course Sir."

"Wonderful, I'll speak with the headmaster and the ministry and let you know. Is that all?"

"Yes sir."

"Well then you're dismissed."

Bellatrix left feeling giddy, she hoped her parents would approve of the classes she chose, she would send them an owl with her decisions later that day.

****

Bellatrix sent her parents an owl that day, all that was left was to wait for either a response saying that it was acceptable, or a howler calling her a failure. She hoped it was the first.

Chapter Text

June 1st, 1963,

"I'm going to hurl." Rita said,

"No you're not." Bellatrix replied

"No, I think I am this time for real." Rita said, Bellatrix rolled her eyes. They were waiting outside the transfiguration classroom to be called in for their magical exam.

"I totally failed the written portion." Eliza said,

"No, no one failed, no one will fail." Bellatrix said, she had practically been keeping everyone's heads on.

"Bellatrix Black." Professor Mcgonagal called, Bellatrix entered.

"Professor." She said, inclining her head,

"Miss Black. Now for your exam, turn this mouse into a pair of shoes." There was a grey mouse on the center of the desk. Bellatrix advanced and waved her wand. At this the mouse turned into a pair of black boots with black laces.

"Very good Miss Black, you may go."

Bellatrix squared her shoulders and left.

"Was it hard? Is it hard?" Rita asked the second Bellatrix emerged,

"No, you'll be fine."

****

After all their exams for the day, the girls went to their dorm.

"Which was harder for you guys, Transfiguration or Charms?" Alecto asked,

"Transfiguration" Rita answered

"Same," Said Eliza and Alecto,

"I had more trouble with Charms." Alecto said,

They all looked at Bellatrix who shrugged, "It was all easy." She said,

"Well, that's because you're Trix and you never have had trouble with anything a day in your life." Rita said, Bellatrix laughed. If only they knew.

The response from her parents came that day.

Dear Bellatrix,

These are acceptable, I heard you will need a time turner, I will see to it the ministry approves you.

Sincerely, Druella.

Bellatrix breathed a sigh of relief, strangely, her parent's answer made her more agitated than her exams.

*****

June 5th, 1963

"I'm just glad exams are over." Eliza said,

The girls were sitting by the Black lake, enjoying their day. They didn't have classes until the 7th and they returned home the 12th.

"I'm going to miss you all over the summer." Rita said,

"I'll write, don't worry." Alecto said,

"Trix?"

"Of course."

"Maybe you could come to mine for a part of the summer!" Rita added,

"That would be fun." Eliza said,

"I can't, my family and I are going to France for the summer." Alecto said,

"My parents would never agree." Bellatrix said, she didn't want to push the issue with her parents either, lest they remember it was Rita who she got in trouble for at Christmas. If they knew, they'd forbid her from being friends with Rita and she would need to listen, but what they didn't know, they couldn't forbid her from doing.

"I thought they loved me!" Rita said,

"They do." Lie, "But they just would never let me go somewhere else." Truth,

"Hey, isn't your sister coming next year?" Eliza asked,

"Yea, Andromeda, my cousin Sirius too." Bellatrix said,

"I don't think Andromeda liked me," Rita said,

"She doesn't like anyone. And Sirius is another matter entirely." Bellatrix sighed, if she was responsible for both of them next year, she would Avada herself.

****

June 12th, 1963,

Bellatrix had been excited and dreading to return home, on one hand, she would see her sisters, on the other, she wouldn't see Rita. Plus, summer just meant she was close to having to deal with next year when her troublemaker sister and worse troublemaker cousin were at Hogwarts. And she would be responsible for them, no doubt. How she wished it was Regulus and Narcissa coming instead, then again, Andromeda left at home would be a horrible idea.

The girls boarded the train and filed into one car.

"All I'm saying is, if Mallon wanted to, I'd let him-" Eliza started

"STOP NO DO NOT!" Rita screamed, everyone laughed, "Don't need to know, don't want to know! PLUS he is like, 13!"

"So, I'm 11, it's only 2 years!" Eliza said,

"WHY ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT IT???" Rita shrieked, Bellatrix smiled and unwrapped a chocolate frog,

"She has a point Eliza." Bellatrix said,

"Well, you're a prude." Eliza replied, Bellatrix rolled her eyes. She would miss this.

"Hey ladies!" Amycus said, he entered the carriage with Lucius, Rabastian in tow.

"Oh, great, my brother." Alecto said resentfully

"Hey, you love me." Amycus said, stealing a pumpkin pastry from Alecto,

"I will hex you." Alecto warned but Amycus ignored her,

"So, Trix-" Amycus started

"Don't call me that." Bellatrix replied,

"Rita calles you Trix."

"Yea, well I like Rita."

Amycus rolled his eyes, "Fine, so you're sister, Andromeda is coming next year right?"

"Yes,"

"And Sirius?" He asked,

"Unfortunately,"

"Well, Slytherin will have two new Blacks." He said,

"I'm not sure, Sirius seems like a Gryffindor." Rabastian said,

"Hey! Don't you dare." Bellatrix threatened, Rabastian smirked,

"What do you want?" Alecto asked,

"Nothing, I mean, you could lend us Eliza for a while." Amycus said suggestively,

"get out." Rita said,

"or what?" Amycus challenged,

"Or I hex your heads off." Bellatrix said,

"Right, your guard dog." Amycus snickered, Bellatrix fired a hex at him.

"Just leave us alone." Alecto said,

"Fine," Amycus responded. The boys left the carriage and the girls spent the rest of the ride in relative silence.

*****

All too soon they were rolling into the station, and they got off the train, and then Bellatrix was back with her parents.

"Let's go." Druella said extending her arm for apparition. Bellatrix took it and looked back once more to see Rita who was hugging her parents, and then they were home.

The house was quiet,

"Your sisters are in the drawing room, I imagine your father wants an account of your year, so when the house elf fetches you go to see him. Until then you may go to your sisters." Druella said, not even glancing at Bellatrix,

"Thank you mother." Bellatrix said before leaving.

"I DIDN"T SAY YOU WERE DISMISSED!" Druella fired a stinging jinx at Bellatrix. Of course, there was always something, and Bellatrix had been told she could go, sometimes it seemed like her mother just needed a fight she could win.

"Apologies Mother." Bellatrix said bowing her head and returning, Druella kept her standing there in silence for another 5 minutes before she was dismissed.

She entered the Drawing room, Narcissa was reading and Andromeda was lying on the floor. When Andromeda saw Bellatrix she didn't spring up or even look excited, she just saw her and went back to looking at the ceiling. Narcissa got up tentatively and walked over. Bellatrix nodded to tell her it was ok and Narcissa flung herself onto Bellatrix.

"I missed you." She whispered into Bellatrix's dress,

"I missed you more Cissy," Bellatrix replied. Andromeda got up and walked over,

"you're back." She said coldly

"I am." Bellatrix replied equally cold,

Andromeda didn't say anything more and Narcissa let go of Bellatrix's dress. Narcissa had grown since Christmas, she was now at Bellatrix's shoulder, she reached up and grasped Bellatrix's face examining her for a moment,

"you look different..." She said,

"Do I?"

"Mhm, you look more tired, but also sad."

"I'm alright Cissy, I miss my friends a little, but I'm happy to see you."

"Yea, she misses Rita, her new person." Andromeda muttered under her breath, before Bellatrix could reply the house elf, Horrendum, came in.

"Master Black requests Miss Black's presence." She said,

"Thank you Horrendum, I'll come right away."

Bellatrix followed the elf to Cygnus's study, she knocked and the door opened at one. Her father looked up from his work and Bellatrix went inside and sat on the chair across from him.

"Bellatrix,"

"Father,"

"How did your exams go?"

"Easily."

"Expected. And when are we to receive results?"

"Early July."

Cygnus nodded and looked Bellatrix over. "The girls in your year, how are they?" Bellatrix knew he wasn't asking how she felt about them, or if they were okay, he just wanted to know if they were acceptable to associate with.

"Fine company. All very polite and all the ones in Slytherin are purebloods, and you've met all of my dorm mates."

"Yes. Anything you wish to add?"

"No father,"

"Very well, you are excused,"

Bellatrix rose, nodded, and left. Her heart was beating slightly fast, but that was normal. She made her way back to the drawing room with her sisters.

"What is Hogwarts like?" Narcissa asked,

"It's..." She thought for a moment, would she tell them about the teachers? Her friends? Her classes? There was so much to say on the subject, "really nice, you'll enjoy it." she finished after a moment's hesitation.

"Yes, but I want details!" Narcissa said, Bellatrix smiled,

"Well, what shall I tell you about?"

"Start with the dorms, what are they like?"

"Well, once you are sorted, first years in your house go to the common room, ours is in the dungeons-"

"Sounds horrid." Andromeda interjected,

"It's quite nice actually, it's cool and dark." Bellatrix said, glaring at Andromeda, "Anyway, you're put with a few other girls and shown to your dorm. The furniture is all made of dark wood and green velvet, it's quite elegant, I think you'll like it." Bellatrix said, Narcissa was smiling,

"And the classes?"

"Well, you take 9 your first year,"

"9?! But that's so many!" Narcissa exclaimed,

"Well they switch days, so monday you could have four and Tuesday 5. Anyway, the teachers are all agreeable enough, some are stricter than others, but they are all well spoken."

"And the girls, what are your friends like?"

"They are lovely, truly, they are nice and funny. I'm sure you'll get on with the girls in your year just as well." Bellatrix said,

"I liked Rita, she was sweet." Narcissa said, Bellatrix smiled,

"I like her as well," She said, Andromeda rolled her eyes.

Bellatrix spent the rest of the day answering all of Narcissa's questions and telling her stories about her time at Hogwarts.

****

June 20th, 1963,

Bellatrix spent the week reading and doing lessons with her various tutors, it wasn't eventful or particularly fun. She looked forward to the hour she had with her sisters before bed, and dreaded meals with her parents.

She was returning to her room to read for the evening. When she entered an Owl was sitting with Jupiter and they were playing. Bellatrix took the letter the new owl had and opened it.

My dearest, Trix,

How are you? I miss you so much, it is so boring without you. How are your sisters? Did they like me? Have you told them about me? I hope it was all good things, anyway, I can't wait to see you again, my parents said you were lovely and I told them all about you. I got an owl, I'm naming her Saturn since it matches with Jupiter, I hope they become friends. I started reading a book, it was called Jane Eyre. It's a muggle book, but It's wonderful! Really you should read it, I really think you and I are like Jane and Helen, though I'm not sure who is who. Anyway I'll tell you more about it the more I read.

Love, Rita

Bellatrix was so happy to hear from Rita, she hadn't realized how much she missed her. She began writing her response immediately.

Dear Rita,

I'm alright. I miss you as-well, there was never a dull day with you. Narcissa is well, Andromeda has been difficult, I'm sure it's just nerves. They loved you and Narcissa wanted me to tell her all about you. Your new owl is gorgeous and I think Saturn is a fitting name. (for the owl in a golden color and has a ring shaped pattern on her wings) She is lively and social, Jupiter and her have been playing and doing wonderful, I'll send them both so you can see for yourself. I'm excited you're reading, even if it is a muggle book. I'll read it if it's important to you, but I'll have to wait until Hogwarts because my parents would never allow it. I can't wait to see you, oh and Narcissa wants a picture of you, she says she likes your hair.

Yours, Bellatrix

Narcissa never asked for a picture, but Bellatrix wanted to look at Rita more, and she liked Rita's hair.

Chapter Text

July 1st, 1963,

Dear Trix,

You're so right, Saturn and Jupiter get along well, Jupiter reminds me of you. I've finished Jane Eyre, I think we are more like Jane and Rochester. I won't spoil it for you and I can't wait for you to read it, I've grown fond of classic muggle literature. Come to think of it, you remind me of it, all proper and troubled yet indescribably beautiful

Love, Rita

Bellatrix would never know what that last bit Rita wrote was, for it was completely blacked out and indiscernible. With that letter came a picture of Rita that Bellatrix locked away in her drawer and looked out whenever she missed Rita.

*****

Bellatrix looked forward to the letters Rita would send, but she never told anyone, she kept them in a drawer by her bed. They felt secret and personal, too much so to share with anyone. She and Rita wrote letters all summer long and Bellatrix often thought of them whenever she was in company or even alone, sometimes she wrote letters she didn't send, things she wanted to say but wouldn't, nothing bad, just things she wasn't allowed to talk about. She would pretend to send them and then would read between the lines of Rita's letters to find the answers to the letters never sent. Of course, they were never there, but Bellatrix made them up.

*****

July 5th, 1963,

Bellatrix and her family were eating breakfast when the owl came. It was a big barn owl that had a letter with the Hogwarts crest stamped to it. It delivered the letter to her father and Bellatrix knew what it was, it was her exam results and her end of year report. Cygnus looked the letter over carefully, he nodded and passed it to Druella who did the same, she then gave it to Bellatrix. There was no yelling so Bellatrix knew she had done perfect. She looked over her results and found she received an O in everything. Then she looked at the report and saw she had been first in her year. She was satisfied.

That evening she wrote to Rita telling her the news.

*****

July 30th, 1963,

Bellatrix's month had been peaceful, this was shattered in a moment of seconds at breakfast.

"Uncle Orion and aunt Walburga are coming tomorrow with Sirius and Regulus." Her father announced, internally Bellatrix wanted to scream and freak out and just die, but she couldn't, so she nodded. "They will stay for a week."

At this, her father got up and left. Bellatrix felt like throwing up and when she was excused she ran to her room and did just that, then she cried.

*****

July 31st, 1963,

Aunt Walburga and Uncle Orion arrived that afternoon with Sirius and Regulus in tow, the family all came to the drawing room where Bellatrix was then ordered to play the piano for them.

"she's quite good." Aunt Walburga said,

"yes, she has excelled." Druella replied, after a few more minutes Druella told her to stop and go elsewhere. Bellatrix was relieved, the only reason the adults kept her and her sisters around was for entertainment or bragging, and Bellatrix despised both. She went to her room and wrote to Rita, which seemed to be her only joy these days as Andromeda wasn't really talking to her and Narcissa was always busy with tutors.

Dear Rita,

My aunt and uncle have come to visit with my cousins, it's dreadful, I despise them all. Andromeda isn't really speaking with me but again, I think she is just worried for school, Narcissa is always with tutors. It's lonely but I really prefer that than being an object of attention to my parents. I miss you tenfold and can't wait for school to start again.

Your Bellatrix,

She sent the letter and began to read.

*****

She was called down for dinner much too soon, and she begrudgingly returned to her family with a fake smile and a proper air.

As they sat and ate Orion and Cygnus talked but Bellatrix tuned them out until she caught her name,

"...Bellatrix will watch over Sirius and Andromeda."

Shit she thought, of course it was expected but now it was vocalized.

"I don't need watching over!" Said Sirius petulantly, Walburga leveled him with a stinging jinx,

"watch your tongue." She snarled,

Bellatrix could tell Andromeda wanted to say something similar, but she refrained. After this dinner was tense and Bellatrix was glad to be excused.

Bellatrix was in her room when there was a knock at her door, tentatively she got up to answer. It was Narcissa and Regulus, she stepped back so they could come in.

"it's good to see you Bella," Regulus said,

"you too Reg, anyway, what's the matter?" Bellatrix said,

"nothing, we just wanted to be with you." Narcissa said, Bellatrix knew what that meant, they wanted to be safe, and they knew Bellatrix would protect them. Bellatrix knew she would protect them as-well.

"Alright," Bellatrix said, she sat on her bed and Narcissa and Regulus crawled up next to her.

"will you read to us?" Narcissa asked,

"Sure." Bellatrix said, she grabbed a fairy tale book that was on her shelf and read to them. They soon fell asleep next to her, Bellatrix carefully put the book up and turned off the lights, so she wouldn't wake them.

*****

August 3rd, 1963,

Dear Bellatrix,

I'm sorry things aren't going well at home. I miss you tons as always, but on the bright side. school starts soon! I never thought I'd say that. Anyway, I'm reading more classics, a lot of them are tragic, and kind of hard to read because of the way they write, but it's not too bad because you write and talk the way they do so I'm used to it. I went to the beach for a week, it was lovely. Have you ever been to the beach? I want to go with you someday, I hope we can. I'm sure Andromeda will come around, and don't worry too much about having to take care of her and Sirius, they'll do fine, and if they don't it's not your fault. Don't be so hard on yourself Trix, you're only so strong and if everyone is hard on you and you're hard on yourself it'll just bring you down.

Lots of Love, Rita

Bellatrix mused over Rita's words, she considered them and she wanted to believe Rita, that not everything was her fault, that not everything fell to her, but it did.

*****

Bellatrix sat in the drawing room with her sisters and cousins. Andromeda entertained Sirius, they laughed and joked, it was the most Andy had smiled since Bellatrix returned. Narcissa and Regulus played and Bellatrix would join them occasionally. Then they would all come together and play a grand game of pretend. Everything seemed back to normal, like when they were younger, when Andromeda didn't avoid Bellatrix as she now did, when Narcissa wasn't reduced to a cowering little girl paralyzed in fear, and when Bellatrix didn't hate herself.

Today they were royalty, Narcissa and Andromeda were the princesses and Horrendum was a great dragon that Regulus and Sirius had to slay. Bellatrix was an evil queen who had put the dragon there. She and Horrendum battled Sirius and Regulus fiercely and then allowed them to win. They lay slowly 'dying' comedically for entertainment, and Bellatrix was happy to do so, she liked the escape, she craved it. It put a smile on her sisters and cousins faces. After they all collapsed tired and happy, all of them had smiles on their faces and a lot of laughter filled the room.

Too soon were these hours over, too soon did they have to clean themselves up for dinner, too soon was their childhood over, reduced to an hour that would never be enough.

******

August 6th, 1963,

Bellatrix kept her distance from her Uncle for their visit, and when it was time for them to go she was thrilled. She would miss Regulus though, she hadn't really been close with him before because he was so much younger, but he was really opening up more, she suspected Narcissa had put him at ease.

The family was gathered at the door and saying their goodbyes. It was uneventful and awkward, the children stood silently as the adults exchanged pleasantries that made Bellatrix want to rip her ears off, but she smiled and bowed as always. When they finally left Bellatrix felt a massive weight lift off her shoulders, she could never be at ease at home, or anywhere for that matter, but with her Uncle and Aunt gone, it wasn't quite as suffocating.

*****

The sisters went to the drawing room for the rest of the day. They spent most of their time there with tutors or nannies where they were out of the way of their parents. They spent their days reading and in lessons, they did have an hour before dinner where they didn't have anyone supervising them but the house elf. These used to be the best times, the girls would laugh and play, they would play with the elf and she would read them stories or play pretend with them, now this hour was dull. Bellatrix stared out the window, her mind elsewhere, Narcissa curled up with Bellatrix, she used to try and talk with her, but neither of them had the energy. Andromeda sat by herself in a corner, usually sketching something, and even Horrendum sat with an air of depression. It was quiet and even on the sunniest days a fog and gloom seemed to fall over the room.

The silence had been a theme since Bellatrix had returned, it was broken by Sirius and Regulus for a while, but now they were gone and all the darkness had returned. Bellatrix hadn't noticed how different it had been since she got back until Sirius and Regulus came. But now that they were gone it hit harder than ever, and Bellatrix didn't know what to do, why couldn't she make it happy the way she used to. What had changed, was it her or was it her sisters, or was it both. Bellatrix resented the hour of childhood that was stolen from her without her notice. She resented the fact the gloom was normal to her and that joy was a distant thing. It mattered, it mattered more than anything, and it was gone.

*****

August 20th, 1963,

Dear Bella,

I miss you so much, It's been like the longest 3 months of my life. I'm so glad school starts in less than a month, and I'm super excited to meet more of your family! I'm going to Diagon Alley on the 20th, maybe we can meet up, if you can I'll be at the ice cream shop waiting!

Love, Rita

Bellatrix got this letter on the 19th, and then convinced her mother to go to Diagon Alley the 20th, so now Bellatrix, Druella, and Andromeda, stood in the middle of the square.

"Watch Andromeda, I've given you charge of the money. Meet me back here at 5." Druella said to Bellatrix,

"Yes mother."

With that Druella was gone,

"can we get a wand first Bella?" Andromeda asked,

"Well, I'm meeting someone, so can we go get her and then we can go?" Bellatrix asked, but it wasn't really a question as before Andromeda could reply Bellatrix was already walking to the ice cream shop.

Rita sat outside watching everyone intently and then she caught a glimpse of Black curls, she stood up immediately and called for Bellatrix.

"TRIX!"

Bellatrix looked up and spotted Rita, both girls ran to each other and hugged, almost knocking the other down. They were laughing and smiling,

"Oh merlin I missed you" Bellatrix said, slightly out of breath,

"I missed you more!" Rita said, "I'm so glad you came, and you brought Andy and Sirius!"

"Don't call me 'Andy'." Andromeda said coldly,

"Not a fan of nicknames, just like your sister, it's fine, you'll warm up to it!" Rita said,

"No I wont." Andromeda said,

"Andromeda! Please! Stop being a brat for one second!" Bellatrix hissed,

"It's fine Trix, she's just nervous, don't you remember what you were like when we met?" Rita said, linking her arm with Bellatrix's,

"I wasn't nearly that bad!"

"no, you were worse."

The girls started towards Ollivanders arm in arm, with Andromeda trailing behind feeling left out.

"I hate her." Andromeda said to no one in particular, Rita and Bellatrix were too wrapped up in each other to care,

"OH, I'm bringing Jane Eyre to Hogwarts so you can read it!" Rita exclaimed,

"Can't wait," Bellatrix said sarcastically,

"Oh honestly, muggle books aren't that bad, this one is good, you'll like it!" Rita said,

The four of them walked into Ollivanders.

"hello, Miss Black, Miss Skeeter, 12 3/4, dragon heart string, walnut wood, unyielding, and 11 1/2 inches, dragon heart string, hornbeam wood, whippy. I never forget a wand." Mr. Ollivander said,

"You know, it's funny you two crossed paths, you came in within minutes of each other, and I don't think I've ever matched two witches to two wands so similar yet so different. I think you two make an interesting pair." He continued,

Rita laughed, "Unyielding makes sense for Trix." She gave her a playful nudge,

"well, I see you have a new child with you. I'm guessing, Andromeda Black?"

"Yes, she needs a wand."

"well, they've come to the right place. Come Andromeda." With that, a measuring tape magically began to take measurements. Rita and Bellatrix retreated to the back of the store to catch up and talk.

"Right, well I wrote to Eliza some, Alecto as well. And you?" Rita asked,

"Oh, merlin. I completely forgot about them! I didn't write them at all, then again, they didn't write me, but oh merlin I feel bad about that." Bellatrix ran her hands over her face, Rita laughed,

"don't worry about it." She smiled, Andromeda was now testing wands,

"Ah, it seems we have found the one!" Ollivander exclaimed, "12 inches, unicorn horn, Alder wood, Swishy."

Andromeda smiled at her new wand, Bellatrix grimaced, she had done a study of all the wand woods, flexibilities and cores before she got one, she tried to figure out which ones her parents would be most proud of, and she didn't think they would be pleased with Andy's.

"What's wrong?" Rita whispered seeing the look on Bellatrix's face,

"I'm not sure our parents will find it an appropriate wand is all," Bellatrix whispered, shifting her weight,

"well, they know the wand chooses the wizard."

"yes, but they also know it reflects on the wizard, and they won't like what this reflects. They already don't like unicorn horn cores, and they think people with flexible wands are weak, plus the wood, it's very fitting for Andromeda, but Andromeda isn't fitting of our parents expectations. Really it's a bad combination." Bellatrix said, she put on a fake smile as Andromeda approached with her new wand.

"Look Bella!" Andromeda exclaimed, she tried to give Bellatrix the wand, but Bellatrix didn't take it,

"Yes, it's a... wand." Bellatrix said,

"a very nice wand." Rita added elbowing Bellatrix,

"You don't like it?" Andromeda asked, crest fallen,

"no, I do, it's very fitting, I'm just worried about what mother will think." Bellatrix said,

"Well, I don't care what she thinks." Andromeda said.

Next they went to get their school books and supplies and then went to get new robes, it was much more enjoyable for Bellatrix this year since she had Rita. Andromeda was annoyed at Rita's presence.

They day ended too soon and Bellatrix and Rita parted ways. Bellatrix went to the square with Andy behind her to wait for their mother. She checked the clock, it was 10 till 5. They waited in the square a while before Druella appeared.

"wand." She said extending her hand to Andromeda. Andy handed her mother the wand, Druella then examined it, each moment she had it in her hand she grimaced more. "Weak, a weak wand. thought I suppose fitting for a weak witch. You should be more like Bellatrix. "

With that, she extended her arms and they dissaparated. When they entered the door Druella took Bellatrix and Andromeda by the arm and led them to Cygnus's office.

"Show him your wand." She said to Andromeda,

Cygnus took the wand from Andromeda and examined it for a moment.

"Weak." He declared, "Merlin, Bellatrix, hand me your wand." He said, and Bellatrix did, he showed the wand to Andromeda, "Bellatrix has a strong wand, she is a strong witch, something you will never be, but we will still try. Remember Andromeda, it's for your own good we do this." "Crucio"

Andromeda fell to the floor and started screaming, Bellatrix didn't even flinch, she knew that would only make it worse. Cygnus let up on the curse and Andromeda was permitted to breathe for a moment, Cygnus looked her over.

"Pathetic, get out." he sneered, "Bellatrix stay." Andromeda got up, tears running down her face and she left.

"It's unfortunate Bellatrix that you couldn't have kept her in line better. Now you must keep her to a standard at Hogwarts, and I think you need incentive, so let me remind you what will happen if you don't do your job. She will be punished, and you will be punished twice and much." "Crucio"

Bellatrix fell to the floor, trying not to scream, trying to think through the pain, hard as she tried, she did scream. And hers lasted twice as long as Andromeda's, Cygnus was true to his word. When it was over Bellatrix got up,

"I'm sorry father, I'll do better. I swear." She said choking back tears,

"You will, it's for your own good Bellatrix, you'll see that some day. You may go."

Bellatrix left, she walked to her room, she was numb and tired and just wanted to leave. She just needed to last 10 more days, and she'd be back with Rita, this comforted her a little until she remembered that now she would be punished for any mistake Sirius or Andromeda made, and between the two of them that was a lot. Plus, they couldn't both be top of their year, it was a lose-lose, neither would be able to do well enough, ever, and Bellatrix would suffer for it, and they would never know.

Chapter Text

September 1st, 1963,

Bellatrix, Andromeda, Druella, Narcissa and Cygnus all stood at platform 9 and 3/4, none of them said anything, all lectures had been given in the privacy of their house. Bellatrix was eager to get on the train, unfortunately she had been given specific instructions to have Andromeda under a constant eye for the entire train ride. Andromeda liked the arrangement about as much as Bellatrix, so to speak not at all. While Bellatrix would happily ignore this instruction because she trusted Andromeda wouldn't dare tell their parents, she was in no state to risk it, if she had to she would put cowbells around their necks.

The train arrived and Bellatrix was permitted to board it, she said goodbye to all her family, as did Andromeda. Bellatrix lingered longer with Narcissa than the others,

"I'll be back at christmas, keep your head down, one more year and we'll all be together ok? We can't protect you at Hogwarts, just do whatever they say ok?" Bellatrix said in rapid hushed tones to them both, Narcissa nodded, Bellatrix smiled slightly, "I love you." She said, then she turned and boarded the train.

"I don't want to sit with you!" Andromeda whined, for some reason she was going through a phase where she hated Bellatrix, at least that's how Bella saw it.

"Suck it up." Bellatrix said, she led them to an empty carriage and had them sit by the window where her family could see, and where she could see Rita. Not long after, Rita and her parents appeared, Bellatrix smiled.

"Is she going to sit with us?" Andromeda complained,

"Yes. I don't see why you hate Rita." Bellatrix said, fed up with her whinging. Andromeda said nothing, soon enough Rita had found them.

"TRIX!" She squealed and moved in to hug her, but Bellatrix shot her a glance. "Oh, your family is watching, got it." Rita said, looking out the window and seeing Bellatrix's parents. Rita sat next to Bellatrix, Andromeda moved to the other side .

Eliza and Alecto joined at last,

"Merlin, It's like seeing double," Eliza said,

"Ew, I look nothing like her." Andy said, Rita laughed,

"Yea, and you definitely don't act just like her." Rita said sarcastically, "Seriously, Trix, is your whole family just copies of you?"

"They could only wish to be so fortunate." Bellatrix said.

"Where is Amycus?" Eliza asked,

"Carriage next to this one, he's with Rabastian, Lucius, and some first year they picked up," Alecto said,

The train ride was filled with pointless conversation, none of which Andromeda joined. Bellatrix mostly tuned it out.

****

They arrived at Hogwarts and the first years were taken across the Black lake, while the other students were led to carriages pulled by themselves. The four girls filed into one and Bellatrix breathed a sigh of relief.

"What's wrong?" Alecto asked, Bellatrix groaned,

"I've been charged with responsibility over my incorrigible sister. Any mistake she makes will reflect poorly on me, and I just don't want to deal with her, she's is a mess, one I'll have to clean up." Bellatrix said,

"Poor Trix," Rita mock sympathized petting Bellatrix's hair,

"oh, don't patronize me, it's horrid enough as is." Bellatrix said, Rita laughed, "Honestly, I hope they are perfect angels, but since that will never happen I hope they do something so horrible that the family decides they are lost causes and just gives up, then I won't need to fuss over them."

"You'll do fine, they can't be that bad." Eliza said,

"You have no idea." Bellatrix said.

The carriage ride was quiet after that, and when they arrived at Hogwarts Bellatrix was a little upset it was over, now she would have to continue to chaperone the gremlins. The girls sat at the Slytherin table for the feast while the first years were taken for sorting.

"What house do you think she'll be in?" Eliza asked,

"Slytherin. And if they aren't I'm screwed, and so are they." Bellatrix said. Honestly she was worried a little, Andromeda didn't have much ambition, or really any Slytherin qualities, she had thought about this a lot since they went to Diagon Alley.

Finally the sorting started, Andromeda was near the front of the line, The first couple names were called, then it was Andromeda's turn, Bellatrix waited with bated breath as she watched the hat be placed on her head. The hat had barely touched Bellatrix when it made its decision, but it seemed to be taking it's time with Andromeda,

"Ow, Trix." Rita said,

"What?"

"you're nails are digging into my hand."

Bellatrix looked down, she hadn't even noticed she took Rita's hand, it had just felt so normal,

"oh, sorry." Bellatrix said, removing her hand from Rita's,

"I didn't say you couldn't hold my hand, just don't try and dig your nails into my flesh." Rita said, taking Bellatrix's hand back and interlocking their fingers. What? it's totally platonic, totally platonic the way Bellatrix's heart races, how her face heats up, how it feel like a secret, totally-

"SLYTHERIN!" The hat announced finally, Andromeda got up, the slytherin table clapped and Bellatrix was relieved at once. Andromeda looked upset, but none the less she came at sat by Bellatrix.

Chapter Text

September 2nd, 1963,

Bellatrix woke up already dreading the day. She pulled back her curtain and saw Rita sitting on the other bed just staring at her. Bellatrix froze for a second, Rita never woke up before Bellatrix, no one in their dorm did. Then she realized the dark circles under Rita's eyes, the way she looked like she was about to drop from exhaustion, the way her hair hadn't even been slightly disarranged. Rita didn't wake up before Bellatrix, she just never went to sleep.

Bellatrix wanted to say something, but she couldn't. Not after what she had thought last night, even though Rita didn't know, Bellatrix knew, and she couldn't bear thinking that it was real, that she really felt that way, so she would ignore Rita and herself until she didn't remember the urge.

Bellatrix got up, not saying anything to Rita.

****RITA****

Rita took a breath and swallowed, she wanted to cry, she wouldn't cry. Bellatrix hadn't said a single thing to her, and she didn't understand it. What had she done, why was Bellatrix shutting her out? Was she mad at Rita, or just stressed about her family? Rita had a million questions that only Trix could answer, but she wasn't willing to ask.

*****BELLATRIX*******

Bellatrix left her dorm and went to the common room to wait for Andromeda. Rita had followed her without saying a word, now they sat side by side on the couch. Bellatrix was watching the sunrise, Rita was watching Bellatrix. Thankfully, Andromeda had inherited the habit of waking earlier than most people, though still late for a Black.

She walked down alone, the only other people in the common room were 7th years. Bellatrix's head snapped up when she heard Andromeda, she stood up and walked over to Andy. Andromeda flinched. In all 13 years Bellatrix had been living, she had never made Andy flinch, they had had arguments, Bellatrix had screamed at Andromeda and she had screamed back, but none of that hurt Bellatrix as much as seeing Andromeda flinch when Bellatrix so much as walked over, and it showed in her eyes.

Bellatrix wore every emotion on her face, something her mother had smacked her countless times, and Andromeda saw the hurt and shock on Bellatrix's face. But just as fast as it appeared, it was gone.

"Andromeda," Bellatrix said,

"Bellatrix," Andromeda said,

"You will sit with me today at all meals, and for the foreseeable future that will be the arrangement until we have direction from our parents. Find some nice Slytherin purebloods to be friends with, until then, I am your only friend." Bellatrix said, taking Andromeda's arm in her own.

Bellatrix and Andromeda went to the great hall for breakfast, Rita trailed behind, not saying a word. The three sat down, one on either side. Soon the great hall began to fill, Alecto and Eliza joined them, none of them said a word. Amycus, Lucius, and Rabastian joined them.

Andromeda was looking around at the other first years.

"Keeping her on a leash?" Amycus asked nodding to Andromeda,

"Something like that yea." Bellatrix huffed. She looked up at the other Slytherin first years, "I'll look into the kids in your year, and I'll let you know who is suitable, then you can be free of me." Bellatrix said to Andromeda,

Schedules were handed out, Bellatrix's came with a note to visit Slughorn before her first class.

She went to his office expecting the worst. Apparently he had no clue of what had happened this morning.

"Miss Black! Do come in, I have wonderful news! You've been approved for a time turner! Of course you must be responsible with it, and if you were any other student I'd give you the whole lecture, but you're not, so I'll spare you." He held out the time turner which Bellatrix took,

"Now, you don't need it fridays, so you'll turn it in thursday eve and get it back monday morning. Now, run along." He said, shooing her away. She looked at her schedule,

Monday- 9-10 Transfiguration, 10:05-11 Herbology, 11:05-12 Ancient Ruins, 12-1 Lunch, 1:15-2:30 DADA, 2:45- 3:50 Music, 2:45-3:50 Arithmancy, 4-5 Field studies

Tuesday- 9-10:30 Charms, 10:45- 11:50 Potions, 12-1 Lunch, 1:30- 2:30 History of Magic, 2:45- 3:50 Alchemy, 2:45-3:50 Art, 8-9 Astronomy

Wednesday- 9-10 Transfiguration, 10:05-11 Herbology, 11:05-12 Ancient Ruins, 12-1 Lunch, 1:15-2:30 DADA, 2:45- 3:50 Music, 2:45-3:50 Arithmancy, 4-5 Field studies

Thursday- 9-10:30 Charms, 10:45- 11:50 Potions, 12-1 Lunch, 1:30- 2:30 History of Magic, 2:45- 3:50 Alchemy, 2:45-3:50 Art, 8-9 Astronomy

Friday- 9-10:10 Transfiguration, 10:15-11:30 DADA, 11:45-1 Charms, 1-2 lunch, 2:30-3:30 Potions, 3:45-4:45 History of Magic

So, she needed the time turner for Music and Arithmancy on mondays and wednesdays, and then for Alchemy and Art on tuesdays and Thursdays, simple enough.

It was 8:50, she needed to go to Transfiguration.

She walked in and looked around, there were no seats other than the one Rita had saved, this was going to be a challenge. She wished she could go back in time and change her electives so she didn't have any with Rita, but she couldn't. Part of her wanted to get over whatever feelings she was having and go back to having fun with Rita, but part of her thought it was too dangerous.

Still, she walked over and sat by Rita.

*****

Throughout the class Rita was staring at Bellatrix, and Bellatrix noticed, but she tried to ignore it. When it was over, Bellatrix grabbed her bag and practically ran out of the class.

Bellatrix tried extremely hard to ignore Rita, and it wasn't like Rita was talking to Bellatrix, but she was always there, lingering. Bellatrix was glad when it was time for Ancient Ruins, just to escape Rita.

She entered the class, Rabastian was sitting talking to some girl who looked really bored. She walked up to them,

"Rabastian, leave her be." Bellatrix said,

"Oh, cmon Bellatrix, she's fine."

"I'm actually extremely annoyed, so please, take her advice and leave me be." The girl said, she had straight brown hair and big blue eyes.

Rabastian rolled his eyes but got up and walked away,

"I'm Chloe Parkinson." She said extending a hand,

"Bellatrix Black," She shook her hand, Chloe smiled,

"Yea, I know, heard this morning." She smirked, had it been anyone else Bellatrix would've cursed them, but Chloe didn't seem like she was mocking, she just seemed to make light of things.

Bellatrix smiled, and nodded, "Yea, I assume they heard it back in London, I'm sure the ministry will be going to arrest my family for breaking the stature of secrecy." Bellatrix quipped, Chloe laughed,

"You're funny," She said, Bellatrix blushed,

"Are you in Slytherin? I didn't see you last year." Bellatrix said,

"Yea, we're in the same year, I just kept to myself. I saw you though." Chloe replied, just then their conversation was cut off as the professor entered and they all took a seat, Bellatrix sat with Chloe.

Ancient Ruins wasn't difficult for Bellatrix, and she got the hang of it. Chloe however seemed to be struggling.

When class was over Chloe caught Bellatrix before she left,

"Hey, you seem to have a clue what's going on in this class, do you think you could help me with it?"

Bellatrix stopped for a moment,

"Sorry, I shouldn't have asked, I just-"

"No, no, of course, yea we can meet in the library at 6 on mondays and wednesdays. If that works for you." Bellatrix said, Chloe smiled,

"Great, see you soon." She said, and then she left,

*****

Bellatrix's first music class went well enough. The class was simple, then she turned back the time and went to Arithmancy. She walked into the class and saw Chloe,

"Hey." Chloe said, Bellatrix walked over and sat beside her,

"Hey," Bellatrix answered, then the professor walked in.

Arithmancy was easy, everything was for Bellatrix, but it was just an easy class.

Then she had field studies. It was outside on the lawn, Bellatrix walked down and ran into Rita on her way.

"Hey," Rita said, Bellatrix just nodded,

The girls walked down and met with Professor Lomin.

"Alright, welcome to your first field studies class! Partner up!" He said,

"Partners?" Rita asked,

"Yea," Bellatrix said, she didn't have a choice. She didn't want Rita to think there was something wrong, or that she had done something, because it wasn't Rita, it was her. And there is no good way to ignore someone who thinks nothing is wrong without alerting to them that something is wrong.

Field studies was actually quite interesting, Professor Lomin had the girls use magic in real scenarios they might encounter. He had them practice blocking falling objects and then lifting tree logs that blocked paths. It wasn't hard, but it required fast thinking, and Bellatrix excelled in this.

*****

"Want to go to the dorm? I was thinking we could work on our first edition of Long Story Short for the new school year." Rita asked as they left,

"I promised another student I'd help them with work," Bellatrix said,

"Oh who?"

"Just a girl in our year, she's in my Ancient ruins class." Bellatrix answered,

"I can come with you."

"No need, we're going to work on Ancient ruins, and you don't take that so it's fine."

"Okay, want to work on our next article tomorrow?"

"I should be working on Andromeda." Bellatrix answered,

"Wednesday?"

"Same as today."

"Thursday?"

"Andromeda."

"Friday?"

"Look, Rita, I'm sorry, but I can't. I just can't not today, not this week, maybe not this month. I'm dealing with Andromeda and other stuff and I just can't. Okay?" Bellatrix snapped, Rita looked stricken, Bellatrix immediately felt guilty,

"Rita, Really, I'm sorry-" She started, but Rita held a hand out to stop her,

"It's fine. I get it. You're busy, too busy for me. I hear you Bellatrix, I'll give you space." Rita said, and before Bellatrix could answer Rita walked off. Bellatrix stood in the hallway watching Rita leave. She wanted to run after her, and she almost did, but then decided not to, so she walked to the Library to meet Chloe.

*****RITA*****

Rita walked away, and the tears fell the second she had turned away, she wanted Bellatrix to follow, to say something, she turned the corner and waited, but nothing. She looked back and Bellatrix had left, she let out a sob and slid down the wall. Why was this happening, why was Trix being like this? Had she found out that Rita liked her as more than a friend? Did she hate Rita? Rita didn't want to lose Trix, but she wasn't being given a choice. Maybe the best thing was to just give her space.

*******BELLATRIX*******

Bellatrix entered the library and found Chloe sitting at the desk by the window, she looked up, smiled and waved her over.

"Hey!"

"Hey."

"You ok?"

"Yea, just tired, family stuff." Bellatrix said,

"Oh,"

"It's fine, so what do you want help on?"

"Honestly the whole thing, I'm utterly lost."

"Ok, well lets look at the homework."

The homework was just translating a few ruins,

"Ok, try this one." Bellatrix said, pointing to the first ruin, Chloe looked back to the book, she looked it over for a few moments before turning back to Bellatrix,

"They all look the same."

"No they don't. See, this one had a line at the top that goes from thin to thick, it's this one." Bellatrix pointed to the ruin in the book that matched, "See?"

"I guess?"

"Ok, and the translation is under the ruin in the book."

"So, it's 'She lost'?" Chloe said,

"Yea, try the next one."

****

It took a while, Bellatrix could've translated the ruins in 15 minutes, but she was helping Chloe understand it, so they spent an hour in the library. They had finally translated all of the ruins when madame Pince chased them out.

"Thanks." Chloe said as they walked back to the common room,

"No problem, really. I liked hanging out with you." Bellatrix said,

"Yea, same. Anyway, my friends are in the dorm, so I'll go, but see you later." Chloe said walking away.

Bellatrix then went to her own dorm.

Rita was in her bed reading, she didn't even look up when Bellatrix came in. The other girls were doing their own thing, Bellatrix sat on her bed. Selfishly while she had told Rita to give her space, she didn't want Rita to listen. Bellatrix wanted Rita to keep trying, even though she knew that if Rita did it wouldn't make a difference and Bellatrix would still want space, but the fact Rita was just giving it to her was worse. Bellatrix can't resent Rita for it, if anything it makes her lov- LIKE Rita more. She needed to stop thinking it was love, it wasn't love. It was a fault, a sin, and Bellatrix would overcome it.

****RITA*****

Rita had gone to her dorm and cried, then her other friends came in and she pretended everything was fine. Rita still thought about Jane Eyre, but she thought it better not to remind Bellatrix of it. If Bellatrix suspected the nature of Rita's feelings towards her, reading Jane Eyre would confirm them especially since Rita had told her that their relationship was like that of Jane and Mr. Rochester. I mean, how could Rita be so stupid as to tell Bellatrix that she thought Bellatrix and her were destined to be lovers. Rita had had a fantasy for a moment that Bellatrix would read Jane Eyre and go to Rita and say 'Yes, Rita, I love you, more than a friend. And I understand what you mean when you say we're are like Jane and Mr. Rochester.' But then again, it was a stupid notion, one Rita had best hide away and ignore.

***ANDROMEDA****

Andromeda had a really horrid day. She had two dorm mates, Scarlett Rammsey and Claire Paul. Scarlett was a short girl with tan skin and really short dark hair, she was loud and kind of mean, she certainly had a lot to say about what had happened that morning. Claire had a brown hair in bob cut with bangs, she had a french accent. She was quiet, at first Andromeda thought she didn't speak much english, but when she tried to talk to her in french she didn't respond.

Andromeda hadn't made any friends, this morning had made sure of it, and she hadn't seen Bellatrix except at meals, and then she didn't talk much, not even to Rita. Andromeda was having trouble in her classes, it was all moving too fast, she wasn't stupid, but things just took longer for her to understand. She wasn't fast like Bellatrix, but anytime she tried to ask a question she was scolded for interrupting. Andromeda talked too much, her teachers were already annoyed with her, they were especially upset she wasn't as good as Bellatrix. No matter what that seemed to be the common theme, she was never as good as Bellatrix.

Andromeda wasn't just a black sheep in her family, she was a black sheep everywhere, she just didn't fit in. Bellatrix was her father's favorite, Narcissa was her mother's favorite, Bellatrix and Narcissa liked each other more than Andromeda, Regulus liked Bellatrix best, so why was Andromeda never the favorite? She knew there were things wrong with her family, Sirius wasn't liked in the family, but he was liked at school, Bellatrix was liked by the family and at school, and Andromeda was liked at neither. She had hoped for a safe place at Hogwarts, a relief from her family and from all the criticism, but she had only found another place where she doesn't belong and isn't wanted.

Chapter Text

September 16th, 1963

Rita had made well on her promise of giving Bellatrix space. The girls didn't talk, or even sit next to each other other than class. It was killing them both, Rita wanted nothing more than to have things back to normal with Bellatrix, even if that meant they would only ever be friends. Bellatrix wanted Rita, but she wouldn't admit it to herself, she seemed to think that distance would make it better, but she only longed for Rita more.

Bellatrix had been spending half her time with Chloe. Alecto, and Eliza all seemed busy, and she didn't enjoy them as much as Rita. Chloe was funny, and lively, but she never pushed, that was something Bellatrix liked. The other half of her time was spent with Andromeda or researching for Andromeda. Her mother had told Bellatrix to make a list of all the girls in Slytherin in Andromeda's year that could be acceptable company and then send it to her to approve, Bellatrix was making Andromeda do half the work because if she had to do one more thing for anyone she was going to lose her shit.

Yesterday she sent the list to her mother, today she should hear back.

When the post owls came in, Bellatrix received a letter back.

*Bellatrix,

The following are acceptable,

Elizabeth Daiye
Betty Shafiq
Claire Paul

-Druella*

Great, so she had a total of three people to work with.

"Here." She said, handing the letter to Andromeda,

"What do I do?"

"Go make them your friends, I'm sick of this, and I'm sick of you. I don't want to babysit you anymore." Bellatrix said,

Andromeda left muttering under her breath "You never wanted to in the first place..."

Rita was sitting next to Alecto who was across from Bellatrix, just then Chloe came up.

"Hey," Chloe said,

"Hi," Bellatrix answered, Chloe sat next to Bellatrix.

"What was that?"

"Me telling my sister to get some friends."

"Mm, and your cousin?"

"Still not sure what the hell I'm supposed to do about that and I'm sure not gonna ask."

Chloe laughed and leaned her head on Bellatrix's shoulder. At first Chloe hadn't touched Bellatrix at all, now she did occasionally. Across the table, unknown to Bellatrix, Rita was glaring.

"Who are you?" She asked Chloe,

"Chloe, you?"

"Rita. How do you know Trix?"

"Ancient Ruins, she's helping me."

"This is the girl you're helping study?" Rita asked Bellatrix, it was the first time for a few days they had directly spoken,

"Yea, I am. Is that a problem?" Chloe answered,

"I wasn't talking to you." Rita bit back, Chloe scoffed. Rita stood up and left.

"What's her problem?" Chloe asked Bellatrix,

"Nothing! She's fine, she is perfect actually, she doesn't have any problems!" Bellatrix said defensively.

"Sorry, do you want to talk about it?" Chloe said, backtracking,

"No." Bellatrix got up and left.

*****

September 18th, 1963,

Bellatrix sat in the library with Chloe, they weren't studying, just hanging out.

"What's your middle name?" Chloe asked,

"Why?"

"Just curious, I wanna know you better."

"Druella. Yours?"

"Amy."

"ok my family must hate me. You're Chloe Amy and I'm Bellatrix Druella, no fair whatsoever." Bellatrix said,

"Just use a nickname. Like Bella." Chloe said,

"That's what my sisters and cousin call me." Bellatrix said,

"Can't more people call you that?"

"I mean, yes, but my family would be mad if they knew people were calling me a nickname, they find them foolish and weak."

"You let Rita call you 'Trix'"

"I didn't really have a choice in that." Bellatrix said, but she knew that wasn't really true. She wouldn't have made Rita stop the way she would've if it was anyone else. Really it was a half-hearted attempt, she told Rita to stop but that was it, when she was 8 and Amycus called her Bella she threatened to cut his tongue out, and when he did it again she almost did if Alecto hadn't stopped her.

"Can I call you Trix?"

"Bella is fine." Bellatrix said, she would really rather Chloe not call her a nickname, but she didn't have the energy to fight, and Trix was for Rita, and Rita only, no matter what happened between them, she would always be Trix to Rita and only Rita.

"What's your favorite color?"

"Black, you?"

"Figures. Mine is teal. Do you have any pets?"

"I have an owl, her name is Jupiter."

"Did you come up with that?"

"No,"

"I guess your family is big on like astronomy names and stuff, even with the animals."

"Mhm." Bellatrix muttered, not willing to tell Chloe her family didn't name animals,

"What's your favorite flower?"

"I don't know." Bellatrix desperately wanted her and Chloe to go back to sitting in silence. She thought she could enjoy talking, but she realized the only time she did was when it was with Rita, and Rita and her weren't speaking,

"Mine are forget-me-nots. What's your favorite-"

"Hey, I'm tired, I think I'm gonna go to my dorm and take a nap." Bellatrix interrupted.

"I can come with you."

"No thanks." Bellatrix said, and she left before Chloe could say anything more.

Bellatrix didn't go back to her dorm, instead she went to find Alecto. As usual, Alecto was on the quidditch pitch since she had made the team with Amycus, they were both beaters.

"Alecto! Come down for a moment!" Bellatrix called up, Alecto saw her and came down.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Rita and I are fighting."

"Oh, well relationships are hard, maybe you two should break up." Alecto said mockingly,

"Not funny. Not dating."

"Right, you've moved on to Chloe."

"I'm just helping her study, why does everything with everyone have to be romantic or sexual?"

Alecto shrugged, "Because I spend too much time with Eliza."

"Seriously, what do I. I miss her."

"Apologize."

"But I didn't do anything wrong! She just flipped out when I told her I wanted space."

"Really? Because from what I heard, you told her to give you space, and now that she's giving you space you're mad about it."

"She's not talking to me."

"You're not talking to her."

"That's not-"

"No. It is, you have horrible communication skills. She never knows what to do with you Bellatrix, you're hot one moment and cold the next. Listen, I have to practice, just go talk to her." Alecto said before flying away.

Bellatrix turned and left, she went back to the dorm.

She heard talking in the dorm so she stopped at the door to listen.

"Well she wanted space, I'm giving her it." Rita said, her voice muffled through the door,

"You're being petty." Alecto said,

"I am not! If she wants space I'll give it to her."

"She seems upset. You should talk to her."

"If she's upset it's her own fault, she wanted space, I give it to her, she has no right to be upset."

"I think you're upset."

"I'm not."

"I think you're upset that she wanted space, that she went to Chloe instead of you. And I think you're more upset because she was getting so close to you and then she just pulled away."

There was silence for a beat, broken by a sob,

"I don't want this." Rita said, her voice was broken and she was breathing faster,

"I know."

"I want her back. I don't- I can't-"

"It's okay Rita. I know." Alecto said,

Bellatrix opened the door, Rita was lying on Alecto crying. She looked up and they locked eyes for a moment. Rita was about to say something but Bellatrix for-stalled her

"I'm sorry." She said, Alecto got up,

"I'll leave you two alone." She said, walking out,

"I'm so sorry. I was such a jerk, I just with Andy and my family, and then school it was all too much. I just- I just needed a break. I'm sorry, and I miss you." Bellatrix said, Rita didn't move for a moment, then she stood and walked over to Bellatrix and hugged her.

"It's okay Trix. I forgive you, I'll always forgive you."

A tear ran down Bella's cheek, Rita pulled back, Bellatrix laughed a little,

"Even if I do something horrible?" She asked,

"You could never do anything I'd consider horrible Trix."

Bellatrix smiled.

Chapter Text

October 1st, 1963,

"Ok, so, now we're all fine, I'm thinking we need an article, we still haven't done one this year." Rita said as the 5 girls walked back to their dorm for the day.

"Can we do it this weekend? I'm tireddd, my feet hurtt, I want to sleep and this week I'm crammed with work!" Eliza complained, they were done with their night astrology class.

"Sure sure," Rita said waving a hand, "I'm just saying, prepare for us to do one soon." The girls had reached their dorm, Eliza just got in bed, she didn't even change, Alecto did the same. Rita and Bellatrix were sitting together on Bellatrix's bed.

"What's your first class tomorrow?" Rita asked,

"Rita- we have the same first class." Bellatrix said, laughing,

"Yea, well I don't remember what class we have."

"It's been a month!"

"I have a bad memory! Just tell me!"

"Transfiguration."

"Was that so hard?"

"Yes, it killed me."

"Oh shove it."

"I'm going to sleep." Bellatrix said, Rita stayed on her bed, "Get off, I said I'm going to sleep." Rita just smiled, she looked so pretty, her eyes had a glint in them. "What? Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Like what?" Rita asked, her eyes still holding a playful challenge.

"Like that. Like you're daring me to push you off the bed."

"maybe I am." She said, Bellatrix stared at her and smiled, Rita leaned closer, still keeping eye contact, Bellatrix felt heat in her cheeks and pulled back.

"Fine stay on the bed if you want." Bellatrix said in a sweet voice, her heart was hammering against her ribs, then she got in her bed.

*****RITA*****

Bellatrix just needed another push. She was there, Rita had thought she read the signs wrong, but she hadn't. She told herself she wasn't going to push more but she couldn't help it, and Bellatrix was almost there.

Rita watched Bellatrix get under her covers before laying down next to her.

After an hour of both of them just lying there Bellatrix spoke.

"I know you're awake." Bellatrix whispered, staring at Rita who was sprawled out next to her,

"I'm not." Rita replied,

"Rita."

Rita got up, she glared at Bellatrix,

"I hate you." she whispered,

Chapter Text

October 3rd, 1963,

"So, next article." Rita said, the girls were gathered in their dorm, "We have a lot to cover,"

"Ok, so we can start with Jackson Kent." Rita said, "Hufflepuff, 4th year, mudblood. He's a homosexual, he was snogging Travis Lorran, the Ravenclaw halfblood," Eliza began to write, Bellatrix was looking over ways to deliver this edition and Alecto was just listening,

"Ugh, Mudbloods, always disgraceful." Alecto said, Bellatrix was looking down, she needed a reminder of how horrible liking Rita was and she got it. Rita on the other hand was trying to find Bellatrix's stance on Homosexuality, all it told her was that Bellatrix didn't care, she had an air of indifference around her. Rita cleared her throat and continued quickly,

******

Bellatrix had set up roses to fall and turn into the article during Lunch,

"Ready?" Rita asked,

"ready." Bellatrix said, she released the roses and they all fell towards the students and then turned into the article, then she cast a simple spell so there was no evidence of who had cast the spell.

* DID YOU MISS US?

WELL W'RE BACK! First off, we have a homosexual, mudblood 4th year, Hufflepuff Jackson Kent and Travis Lorran the halfblood Ravenclaw were seen snogging, and yes, they are both boys. What a dirty faggot, watch him in the dressing room, make sure he isn't eye fucking you. It's so not just platonic. Love seems to be in the air, too bad it's mudbloods and fags.

See you soon! xoxo, Quillkillers.

*****

The article had major blowbacks, it had become 'obscene' according to teachers and There was a lot of screaming, Jackson's parents heard about him being a homosexual and pulled him our of Hogwarts to send him to be 'fixed' Travis was being ignored by everyone. It had really caused a lot of damage.

******

October 13th, 1963,

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Rita squealed, she opened the curtains around Bellatrix's bed and got in,

Bellatrix sat up really fast, "Merlin, Rita you scared the crap out of me. Please tell me you cast a silencing charm or have you woken the whole Slytherin dorm?" Bellatrix said,

"Calm down of course I did." Rita said, Bellatrix nodded,

"What time is it?" Bellatrix asked, sitting up,

"Guess"

"Knowing you it just turned 12 am."

"Ding ding ding! You're officially 12! How does it feel?"

"So far really tiring. Ya know what I want for my Birthday next year?"

"What?"

"To not be woken the moment it turns 12."

"You're no fun."

"You knew that."

"Whatever. Open your present!" Rita thrust a thin, box with wrapping paper that said 'happy birthday' into Bellatrix's hands.

"Rita... You don't have-"

"I know! I want to, accept it Trix, you're mine now."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes, but secretly she felt a flutter, she wanted to be her's, she pushed the thought down and began to open the box.

Inside was a painting of Rita, it opened it's eyes and started singing happy birthday.

"Rita, please tell me it doesn't always sing happy birthday,"

Rita laughed, "I promise it doesn't, when you're back home you can have it in your room and we can talk, well, you can talk to me, well, painting me."

Bellatrix looked at it. The canvas was about the size of Rita's face, and it had a gorgeous silver metal frame that twisted and looked like thorns.

"If you don't like it that's fine, I wasn't sure if you would, but you just always said how much you missed me when you were home and I thought-" Rita started rambling on, she was worried because Bellatrix hadn't really said anything,

"Rita! I love it! And it's perfect, and I will put great use to it. Thank you." Bellatrix interrupted and hugged Rita,

"Oh! And look," Rita said, she took the painting and tapped it with her wand, it shrank to the size of a small box, "it's not as clever as your charms, but I-" Rita said,

"Rita. I love it, I love the charm and I love yo..." Bellatrix caught herself, "it, I love it." Bellatrix said, she hoped Rita hadn't noticed,

"Oh," Rita said, disappointed she hadn't finished saying it, "Good,"

"Here lay down with me, we can wait till morning to wake everyone else up." Bellatrix said, trying to move past the conversation, Rita happily complied,

"Trix?" She asked after a moment,

"Yea?"

"Remember when we were fighting and-"

"we were not fighting!" Bellatrix said,

"Fine, call it what you want. So when we were not talking much and you stopped wearing your necklace?" Rita continued,

"Yea," Bellatrix said uncomfortably, she didn't like talking about past events.

"If that happens again, don't take off the necklace." Rita said,

"why?"

"Because it makes me feel bad, like you're holding it over my head or something."

"Ok. I won't take it off, ever." Bellatrix said,

"Promise?"

"I Promise."

"No matter what?"

"No matter what."

"Good."

********

Morning came and Everyone in the dorm wished Bellatrix a happy birthday,

"Bella!" Andromeda called from across the common room, it was a rainy sunday and everyone was inside. Bellatrix was sitting by the fire on a green chair with Rita sitting at her feet, Alecto sat on the couch and Eliza was flirting with some Slytherin boy.

"Oh god." Bellatrix said, she sat up straighter and watched as Andromeda walked towards them,

"You didn't come to breakfast." she said,

"Correct." Bellatrix said,

"you got a letter from mum and dad."

Bellatrix tensed, "Did you read it?"

"No," She extended the letter and Bellatrix took it,/p>

"Tell him I wanted him to be in Slytherin but that didn't happen either," Bellatrix said, then she began to read the letter,

**Bellatrix,

You are now 12. We expect you to rule over your sisters and cousins more, you are no longer their big sister or cousin, now you should act as a superior, we expect you to fix them, and you're old enough for adult punishments. It is also time you know you are arranged to marry Rudolphus Lestrange.

Cygnus and Druella Black**

Great not even a fucking 'Happy Birthday.' Bellatrix dropped the letter,

"can I read it?" Andromeda asked,

"no." Bellatrix answered, she made a motion indicating for Andromeda to leave, she dropped her head,

"Happy birthday Bella," She murmured and walked away.

"I feel bad," Rita said,

"Don't,"

I thought you wanted to help her with friends," Rita said,

"I said I wanted her to stop bothering me because she has no friends." Bellatrix replied,

"Just make them be her friend." Rita said, Bellatrix looked over to Andromeda who stood awkwardly on the outside of a group of girls in her year, Bellatrix sighed and got up,

"Fine," She said, she walked over there and cleared her throat, the girls turned around, "Hello," She said,

"Who are you?" One of the girls asked rudely, Bellatrix took her wand and jinxed her. Her tongue grew to double it's size and she started chocking, then Bellatrix undid the jinx,

"Now, let's try again. I'm Bellatrix Black, you're Scarlett Rammsey, you're Claire Paul, Elizabeth Daiye, and Betty Shafiq. Now, this is Andromeda Black, my sister. Say hello." Bellatrix said in a threatening voice, Andromeda looked like she wanted to melt into the floor. The girls all murmured a hello, Bellatrix smiled, "Wonderful, now I'm going to go back over there, and you five will get to know each other." Bellatrix said, and then she walked away. She sat back down in her chair,

"That's not what I meant when I said 'make them'" Rita said, now Andromeda was talking shyly with the girls, they all looked scared out of their minds, Bellatrix shrugged,

"It worked."

Rita laughed, "Happy Birthday Trix, I'm sorry about your parents."

"Me too," Bellatrix replied.

Chapter Text

October 27th, 1963,

"I just don't understand it William! I think the common room is too loud, we could go to your dorm instead..." Eliza said, she was flirting with some Slytherin 3rd year, he had been assigned to tutor her in muggle studies, Bellatrix normally tutored her friends but she knew nothing about muggle studies. He wasn't bad looking, Eliza had good taste, he had brown hair that was parted in the middle, and really blue eyes. He was barely even looking at her. This was why Bellatrix was watching, Eliza flirting is no new thing, a guy ignoring her is a new thing.

William kept brushing off any attempt Eliza made at flirting,

"This is hard to watch" Rita said,

"I like Eliza, I really do, but she needs to stop acting like a bloody whore! I mean she might not be doing anything with them yet but it will look like it." Bellatrix said,

"Little harsh Bellatrix," Alecto said,

"I'm just looking out for her, she'll have a bad reputation." Bellatrix said,

"Look! She literally put her head on his shoulder and he pulled away and sat down across from her!" Rita exclaimed,

The common room was full because it was another rainy day,

"Why won't he either just reject her or get with her..." Bellatrix questioned,

"That is him rejecting her," Rita said,

"Doesn't look like it, if someone I didn't like was on me like that I'd hex them." Bellatrix replied,

"Surprisingly Trix, most people try and be nice to people with crushes on them," Rita said,

"Whatever..."

*******

"I DONT UNDERSTAND!" Eliza wailed, she was facedown in her bed, "HE DOESN'T EVEN WANT ME!" She said,

"It's okay Eliza, there are plenty of other guys." Alecto said, she was comforting Eliza over her failed attempt at William,

"BUT I WANT HIM!"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes, she saw no appeal to men other than status or children or for an alliance. "This is ridiculous," Bellatrix said under her breath to Rita. The two girls sat on Bellatrix's bed, Rita was on her knees braiding Trix's hair, Bellatrix leaned into Rita's touch, the soft tugs on her hair as Rita pulled the braid tight felt good. Bellatrix's hands were occupied with her neckless, she liked the cool metal on her fingers.

"Be nice, she's upset." Rita replied yanking extra hard on a strand, "Sorry," She said,

"Oh, you're fine, my mother brushed my hair when I was a child because no magic fixed my hair and she was always super hard on it."

"What do you mean 'fix'" Rita asked,

"Took away the thickness and curliness, the only reason she didn't cut it was because it was 'unladylike'." Bellatrix said,

"She wanted it to be straight?" Rita asked,

"Yea, more like Narcissa's,"

"I'd hate that. I love your hair." Rita said, Bellatrix smiled,

*****

October 31st, 1963,

"I LOVE HALLOWEEN!" Eliza said, the five girls were putting costumes on for the haunted maze the school had made. Bellatrix didn't want to go but Rita was making her for Eliza who was still upset over William.

"Do I have to dress up?" Bellatrix said, "I look scary enough." Rita rolled her eyes, she was dressed as a journalist,

"yes, you do." Rita said, "Everyone else will be!"

Alecto dressed as a zombie quidditch player, and Eliza was dressed as a black cat.

Rita had picked out Bellatrix's costume, it was black dress with a white collar.

"What is this supposed to be," Bellatrix asked,

"You'll see, come her let me braid your hair." Rita said. She began to braid Bellatrix's hair into pigtails,

"We should do a group costume next year!" Eliza said,

"Sorry I can't, I'll be sick." Bellatrix said,

"There!" Rita said as she finished the braids, "Now put on the dress."

Bellatrix came back out and Rita handed her a headless doll,

"Perfect!" Rita exclaimed, she brought Bellatrix in front of the mirror,

"What am I?"

"A doll."

"I figured it was the perfect costume," Rita said,

"I'd never dress like this."

"You always dress like this! This is your dress with a white collar and buttons on it!" Rita said,

"Oh."

*****

The girls went down to the common room and met Lucius, Rabastian, and Amycus. Lucius was a dementor, Rabastian was a muggle, and Amycus was a zombie Quidditch player like his sister.

They all met by the fire,

"Damn," Rabastian said,

"What?" Bellatrix asked,

"He owes me a galleon," Amycus explained,

"Why?"

"We had a bet, he said you wouldn't wear a costume, I said Rita would make you. I won." Amycus said smirking,

"Rita, I bet you a galleon Amycus ends up being a queer." Bellatrix said mockingly,

"I don't like my odds there, I think you'd win that." Rita said playing along,

"Oh come off it, the both of you." Amycus said in a bored voice

"Oh don't worry Amycus, Bellatrix and Rita would still like you if you were a queer, after all they're lesbians." Rabastian said, Bellatrix heated at this,

"Oh shut the fuck up Rabastian!" Bellatrix screamed, everyone stopped and stared,

"Calm down, I was just joking. Merlin." Rabastian said,

"It's not a bloody joke!" Bellatrix hissed,

"OK!" Rita said, "Let's go down now!" Rita said attempting to de-escalate the situation. Rabastian started walking to the door of the common room and everyone followed him but Rita grabbed Bellatrix's arm to stop her,

"What? Let me go!" Bellatrix said,

"No, What was that about?" Rita said,

"He insulted us-"

"He was joking, you had just called Amycus a queer, he didn't freak out." Rita said,

"It's different!" Bellatrix defended,

"No. It's really not Trix, It's the exact same thing. You're being a hypocrite." Rita said, Bellatrix sighed petulantly, Rita sighed, "Get your shit together Trix. You can't just fire off at people who do the same thing you do." Rita said, then she turned and left the common room. Bellatrix wanted to go back upstairs and not join them to be petty, but she knew Rita was right so she took a breath and then caught up with the group.

The group got to the maze and went to the entrance, the path was only wide enough for one person at a time,

"Who's going first?" Lucius asked, no one said anything for a moment,

"Cowards," A voice said from behind them, Bellatrix turned to see Rudolphus standing over them,

"Go away!" Rabastian said to his brother, Rudolphus rolled his eyes, he had dressed in just normal black robes.

"Bellatrix, may I speak with you a moment?" He said,

"What?" Bellatrix said, she was genuinely confused considering she had just been watching Rita trying to find out if she was mad at her.

"I'd expect more eloquence from a Black," He said,

"Yes, apologies." Bellatrix switched her brain to family mode,

"Now, did you hear what I said or must I repeat myself?" He said,

"I did not hear," Bellatrix said,

"Very well, I asked if you would allow me to speak with you for a moment." Rudolphus said,

"Of course," Bellatrix said,

"Alone." He added,

"Oh! Right, yes." She walked away from the group, Rudolphus stopped when they were out of earshot,

"Do you know the plans pertaining to you?" Rudolphus asked,

"Excuse me? What are you talking about?" Bellatrix asked defensively,

"The arrangement," Rudolphus said,

"Oh, yes I was told, when were you told?" Bellatrix asked,

"When I turned 13,"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't my responsibility."

"Well it concerned me! You should've told me!" Bellatrix said in an aggravated tone,

"Calm down, I didn't find you to fight. I came to know your state of mind." Rudolphus said,

"What does that mean?"

"Well when I found out I was upset-" Rudolphus started,

"Wooooww." Bellatrix said sarcastically, "You wound me Lestrange,"

"Let me be, I was 13 you were 10. I didn't enjoy your presence at all." Rudolphus said, Bellatrix grinned,

"So what you came to make sure I wasn't revolted by you?" Bellatrix asked,

"Yes,"

"Why? It's not like if I was it would change anything, they'll make us get married no matter our feelings." Bellatrix said,

"Normally people tend to care about the feelings of others." Rudolphus said,

"whatever,"

"So you aren't upset about having to marry me?"

"Not really, I always knew I'd have no say in who I married, it could be worse."

"Do you find me handsome? Is that why you aren't upset to marry me?"

"Not particularly, but you come from a respectable family, you're not closely related to me, you're destined for a good job and you'll be able to provide. I also don't find you absolutely heinous to look at." Bellatrix said, he was attractive, Quidditch captain, the slicked back black hair with blue eyes and pale skin, not to mention his bone structure, it would make a powerful alliance but despite this Bellatrix just wasn't attracted to him for anything more than power and pleasing her parents.

Rudolphus laughed, "I assume we will be expected to dance at your family's ball?" He asked, Bellatrix grit her teeth remembering last year's ball,

"Maybe. Anyway, I must return to my friends." Bellatrix said, "Goodnight Rudolphus," She walked back to her friends,

"What was that about?" Rita asked,

"Nothing," Bellatrix answered, she didn't want Rita to know she was destined to marry Rudolphus,

"Bullshit." Rabastian said, "What did my brother want?"

"Honestly it was nothing, he asked me if I was trying out for Quidditch, I told him no." She lied,

"Then why didn't you say that?" Rabastian asked,

"Merlin is this a bloody interrogation! Can we just go through the bloody maze!" Bellatrix said,

"Fine, whatever." Rabastian relented after a moment,

"I'll go first," Amycus said, then he walked in, then Alecto, then, then Rabastian, then Lucius, then Rita went in and Bellatrix followed.

They all walked in silence until the entrance wasn't visible, parts of the maze got wider so multiple people could go at a time, sometimes it was so narrow they had to go through sideways.

"I think we're lost." Amycus said after a moment,

"We can't be, didn't you read how the maze worked? It'll have us walk around in it and then after an hour it leads us to an exit." Bellatrix called from the back of the line,

"We just walk around for an hour?" Amycus asked,

"Well it's also a challenge, there are supposed to be jump scares and riddles and escape room type things," Bellatrix said,

"Will we run into other people?"

"No."

"Why hasn't it scared us?" Amycus asked,

"OH MY GOD I DON'T KNOW!" Bellatrix snapped, after a moment she took a breath, "Actually I do know, sorry, it will start 5 minutes in, now it's been about 3." Bellatrix said,

The group continued and there was a large part where the path fit two people, Bellatrix and Rita walked slightly behind, that's when a mist crept up on the group and suddenly they were all levitated 10 feet in the air,

"HOLY CRAP!" Eliza screamed,

"How do we get down?" Alecto called to Bellatrix,

"Let me think for a second!" Bellatrix said, she ran over every levitation spell she knew and then started trying counter spells, after she tried a few they all dropped out of the air, but they were caught before they hit the ground.

"How did you do that?" Amycus asked,

"I just tried the counter spells for a couple levitation spells." Bellatrix said, Amycus stared at her in disbelief for a moment, then shook his head,

******

The group walked on and encountered a few jump-scares and a riddle which Bellatrix solved. They turned a corner and began walking through another passage, they were all spaced out when walls shot up between the nine of them,

"RITA!" Bellatrix called, there was no answer, the walls were muffled. They were all trapped in their own individual boxes until a passage opened up for each of them. Bellatrix hesitated a moment before she walked down the new passage. That's when her Uncle Orion appeared,

"Uncle Orion?" Bellatrix asked, her voice trembled slightly, he looked off, a little more insane, he advanced towards her and grabbed her wrist, "Please let me go," Bellatrix said in a panicked tone, "No. You have failed and you must be punished!" Orion said sternly, Bellatrix was breathing hard, this can't be happening she thought.

She kept trying to find a logical explanation for her Uncle being here, it must be an illusion, but it was too perfectly crafted. A boggart then, Bellatrix took a breath, then pictured herself crucioing him until he begged for death, "Ridiculous!" She said, and the Boggart turned into what she had envisioned and then disappeared.

Bellatrix had tried picturing something funny for boggarts, but it had never worked, she started picturing herself hurting the fear. Her parents had unleashed boggarts on them as punishments or to see what their biggest fear was, until now her's had been failure, that's why she hadn't recognized it, her boggart had changed.

The walls around her fell, and she heard the screams of her friends,

"RITA" Bellatrix screamed, Rita didn't seem to hear her. Great, so she was stuck here until everyone else conquered their boggarts. At least she had figured it out first, while it technically wan't a race or competition Bellatrix was treating like one.

Bellatrix listened intently to the screams she heard, maybe she could guess what the other's boggarts were.

******RITA*****

Rita watched as Bellatrix advanced towards her, but it wasn't Trix, she was older and looked more like her mother.

"Trix?" Rita asked tentatively,

"Don't call me that. You have no right to call me that." Bellatrix sneered, then she took her necklace of and threw it at Rita. It's not real, Rita thought desperately, but she couldn't hold back tears from falling on her cheeks. She couldn't stop the fear that coursed through her, the one that told her she had lost Bellatrix.

"Don't fucking cry. You did this." Bellatrix said,

"What is this?" Rita asked, she had closed her eyes, she couldn't deal with what she saw. Her voice shook,

"You know what this is, you know this will happen." Bellatrix said,

******BEllATRIX*****

Alecto was the second one to defeat her boggart, she heard a wall fall and called out, "HELLO?"

"BELLATRIX!"

"WHO IS IT?"

"ALECTO," They shouted over the screams and walls dividing them "HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO DEFEAT YOUR BOGGART?"

"A MINUTE MAYBE." Bellatrix yelled back, it had taken him longer to figure out what it was than to defeat it. Then another wall fell,

"WHO IS IT?" Alecto shouted,

"AMYCUS" he shouted back "WHO ELSE IS OUT?"

"JUST BELLATRIX,"

"MERLIN, ALWAYS FIRST ISN'T SHE" He yelled,

"YOU KNOW IT CARROW!" Bellatrix shouted,

Bellatrix went through the list in her head, Amycus had gone first, then Alecto, then Rabastian, then Lucius, then Rita, and last her. So the first three were out, two more walls fell,

"HELLO?" Lucius yelled,

"HEY!" Amycus answered, another wall, it wasn't Rita so it must have been Rabastian, great, so everyone but Rita was out, meaning everyone was together but Bellatrix was trapped on the other side of Rita.

*****RITA*****

"TRIX PLEASE!" She yelled, Bellatrix had just sent another curse at her that barely missed, "STOP."

"ADMIT IT! ADMIT YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME!" Bellatrix screamed back, she looked older every second,

"I SWEAR I ALWAYS HAVE TRIX! I DO CARE ABOUT YOU GOD I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU!" Rita yelled, tears and dirt caked her face, Bellatrix stopped,

"What?" she asked, "You're- you- no." Bellatrix stuttered, "FUCK YOU'RE A FUCKING FAGGOT!" Bellatrix screamed,

"I LOVE YOU" Rita screamed, Bellatrix fell to the floor and Rita rushed to her,

"Get away from me," Bellatrix huffed, she could barely move,

"Trix, it's okay, it's okay. I forgive you, I love you, please don't leave." Rita said, she wasn't sure if this scared her more. She knew it wasn't real, deep down she did, but she couldn't help it. Bellatrix faded slowly and then the walls around her fell to reveal her other friends on one side and Bellatrix on the other,

******BELLATRIX*******

Rita's wall fell, she sat in the dirt, she had tear marks running down her face,

"RITA!" Bellatrix yelled, she wanted to kill whoever made the maze, white hot rage filled her veins, she wanted to end whatever had left Rita like this, she ran to her, "Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened? I'm going to end Dumbledore." Bellatrix said in a rush, she combed the hair out of Rita's face,

"Trix, thank merlin you're okay." Rita said,

"I'm okay? That I'm okay? Rita merlin, I'm fine what the hell happened to you?!" Bellatrix exclaimed,

"I still look better," Rita said, she was tired but smiling,

"You always will look better," Bellatrix said without thinking, it was true, Rita was beautiful in a way she would never be. The blonde hair and green eyes sent Bella spiraling, her skin was like cream and she carried herself with grace, every smile, laugh, ND even glances sent Bellatrix into a place where she couldn't think, and she hated it. It made her feel weak,

Rita stood up, the others were just standing there, Bellatrix rose with her and they walked over to their other friends,

"Jesus, what was your boggart?" Amycus asked looking Rita up and down,

"Is that what that was? I guess it makes sense, if you all saw what I saw that would've been weird, especially for you Trix." Rita said, she was trying her best to act like it hadn't affected her,

Bellatrix didn't say anything but mentally she wondered what Rita had meant by that, had her boggart been something about Bellatrix? She didn't want Rita to be scared of her like that. Not even Sirius and Andromeda had Bellatrix as a boggart.

Everyone stared at Rita, "I'm fine, let's keep going." She said,

"If you say so," Amycus said.

******

They exited the maze, the group still wanted to walk around the grounds but Bellatrix wanted to go back to the dorm. Rita seemed off and Bellatrix didn't like it.

"I think I'm going to go back to the dorm. I'll see you all later." Bellatrix announced to the group, it was already dark,

"I'll come with you," Rita said immediately, she didn't want to leave Trix alone because when she couldn't see that Bellatrix was still the same and not like her boggart she couldn't function. She was terrified her boggart was real and that soon Bellatrix would turn into what she had seen.

"You don't have to." Bellatrix said,

"I want to, plus I'm tired as-well." Rita said, she linked her arm with Bellatrix's "Bye!" She said, and the two girls started walking back.

"I'm starting to think they actually are Lesbians." Amycus said when they were out of earshot.

"What was your boggart?" Rita asked,

"Failure." Bellatrix lied,

"How long did it take you?"

"A minute."

"Should've known, I guess you were the first one out."

"Yea,"

"Was your's easy? I mean, I can't imagine you being scared of anything and whatever it was you're still not that scared of it."

Bellatrix took a breath, her's had been terrifying and if she hadn't been so sure it was a boggart she never would've gotten out. Still, she felt the cold creeping feeling her uncle gave her. She hated it. "Yea, it was easy." Bellatrix answered, "Had you ever seen a boggart?"

"No, I had only read about them. Never even crossed my mind, it was so real." Rita said,

"How did you get rid of it then?"

"I'm not sure." Rita said recalling the way she held older Bellatrix in her arms begging the same girl who had just tried to hex her not to die, how she told her she loved her. "How are you supposed to get rid of them?"

"Picture something funny and then turn it into that." Bellatrix said,

"Is that what you did?"

"No, that doesn't work for me, I picture myself destroying whatever the fear is." Bellatrix said,

"What if it's a person?"

"Makes it easier, it's harder to destroy a feeling than an external fear,"

"What if it was someone you love,"

"Fear is a part of love." Bellatrix said, she remembered every time she had feared her parents, but she still loved them. Right? They must love her, Andromeda and Sirius and Narcissa and Regulus were all a little scared of her, but she still loved them. Then she thought about Rita. Rita had never made Bellatrix scared of her, she had been scared for Rita, but never of her. So it wasn't real love, she was relieved by this. It wasn't wrong because it wasn't love.

"Does it have to be?"

"It means you care."

"So you could destroy your boggart if it was Narcissa?"

Bellatrix thought for a moment, if Narcissa was her boggart whatever she was doing warrants being destroyed, "Boggarts aren't real, they project a fear, if my boggart was Narcissa I would have a reason to destroy her." Bellatrix said,

"What if it was me?" Rita asked,

Bellatrix stopped, "There's nothing you could do to scare me." Bellatrix said,

"But what if it was?"

"The only reason you'd be my boggart would be if you were betraying me, and you won't ever do that." Bellatrix said,

"But if I was?"

"Why do you care so much?"

"I just do."

"I suppose, if you were my boggart, even if you were hurting me, I couldn't destroy you." Bellatrix said, it was true, Rita could do anything to her and while she may be mad or sad, she would never take the opportunity to physically hurt her.

They had arrived at their dorm at this point,

"Could you destroy me?" Bellatrix asked,

"I don't think I could even if I wanted to, and I don't think I'd ever want to even if I could." Rita said,

"I think you could if you really tried." Bellatrix said,

"Well I won't ever."

Chapter Text

******ANDROMEDA*******

November 20th, 1963,

Andromeda sat in potions class. She never got more than an Acceptable in any class but she rarely got above a Poor in potions, she was going to have a hard time at home when end of term results were sent to them.

Her new friends hated her, and she avoided them when Bellatrix wouldn't see. They never were nice to her and it showed that they didn't want her with them. Still, she shared a dorm with them, despite Andromeda being out of the common room and dorm all the time she still spent considerable time with her appointed 'friends'. Andromeda was alone.

********BELLATRIX*******

December 1st, 1963,

Snow was falling at Hogwarts. The grounds had been covered in a white blanket for almost a week now, the walk to the green houses for herbology was as pleasant as taking a swim in the ice-over lake.

Bellatrix crept out of bed, the room was cold and snow fell outside the window. She walked over to Rita's bed and opened the curtains.

"Hey." Rita said, she was already awake.

"How did you know I'd come?" Bellatrix asked, she had debated going to Rita in the early morning to wish her happy birthday the way Rita did, in the end she decided to do so. No because she wanted to but because Rita might like it.

"Because I know you Trix." Rita said with a smile, Bellatrix climbed into her best friend's bed.

"Happy birthday Rita." Bellatrix said, she pulled out a medium sized box, Rita took it and opened it to find a pretty emerald green cloak. It had a beautiful diamond on the clasp,

"Merlin Trix. How much was this?" Rita asked,

"Uh, 10 galleons?" Bellatrix said, she didn't remember exactly, she had never looked at price tags.

"TRIX!" Rita exclaimed,

"What?" Bellatrix asked,

"That's too much." Rita said,

"It's nothing," Bellatrix said, she thought it was a reasonable price for the product, and in the grand scheme of things it was nothing.

"You're such a bourgeoisie." Rita said as she felt the soft cloak,

"Very much so." Bellatrix answered,

"What are the chances your parents let you come to mine for Christmas?" Rita asked,

"Zero, also Zero for them allowing you to our Christmas." Bellatrix said,

"What did I do at your Christmas?" Rita asked,

"Nothing, but the whole thing with Orion, better to avoid it. Trust me, you're not missing anything." Bellatrix said,

"I'll be missing you." Rita said,

"Like I said, not much." Bellatrix responded

*******

After classes Rita and her friends had a little celebration. They all gathered in their dorm and had cake Bellatrix had taken from the kitchen.

"So, It's time we write another article. We've done like, only two, this year." Rita said,

"Not much is happening, everything that happens is Black family drama, and Bellatrix has ruled that out." Eliza said,

"There has to be something!" Rita said,

"We aren't even getting submissions, the last one said "stop ruining people's lives" and that's not exactly gossip." Alecto said,

"Maybe we should give it up, we hardly have time anymore, and we'll have less as the years go on." Eliza suggested,

"What do you think Trix?" Rita asked,

"I'm running out of spells to deliver, plus Dumbledore." Bellatrix said, "But I'll keep going as long as you want me."

"Look, it's not that it's not fun, but it's really not worth it. Alecto barely is involved and I do almost nothing." Alecto said,

"So you're quitting?" Rita asked,

"Yea, sorry Rita, good luck though." Alecto said, it was getting late, she got up and went to her bed.

"Eliza?" Rita asked,

"Sorry." She said and then left as well,

"Trix?"

"I'll always be wherever you want me." Bellatrix said, she was having less trouble expressing feelings now that she had decided it wasn't 'love' with Rita because there was no fear.

"Well, wanna work on our next article?"

"Sure,"

*******

December 17th, 1963,

"I can't wait for school to be over!" Eliza said, they were all packing their things for Christmas break,

******
December 18th, 1963,

The five girls sat in their train-car,

"I'm going to miss Jupiter." Rita said, she had Jupiter and Saturn out of their cadges. "Saturn agrees."

"This is why you shouldn't name birds, or any animal." Bellatrix said,

"Because then they love you?"

"Because everyone around you wants to strangle the birds, and you."

"Do you want to strangle the birds and me?"

"No but I've grown attached to you and the birds."

"Can we please talk about anything less boring? I mean you two sound like a couple arguing over who should hang up the phone first." Eliza said,

"What's a phone?" Bellatrix asked,

"Muggle invention."

******

Bellatrix grabbed Andromeda from her car when the train started pulling in. The two got off together and walked towards their family. Druella, Cygnus, and Narcissa were standing on the platform. Bellatrix hurried towards them.

"Come, we're all going to Aunt and Uncle's." Druella said, the kids all grabbed onto an adult and they dissaparated.

Uncle and Aunt's house was much darker than Bellatrix's, it was also creepier. The family walked up the stone steps to the front door, Kreature let them in. Immediately all the children were put in the drawing room. They all sat down, Bellatrix had Narcissa and Regulus next to her. They had been clinging to her since they were out of their parents sight.

Bellatrix was surprised at this, she would've thought Regulus would want to be with Sirius, then again she wouldn't be surprised if he had heard an earful about how horrible Sirius was.

Chapter Text

December 24th, 1963,

Bellatrix woke up at 7, she sat around her room until 8 when a knock came. She went to open the door and found Regulus and Narcissa outside.

"Can you help us get ready?" Narcissa asked,

"Why?" Bellatrix realized it sounded harsh, "I mean, yes sure. Come in."

Bellatrix directed them to put their outfits on the bed while they washed up. After she helped Regulus with his hair, then Narcissa's. She braided the long blonde hair into a crown and then used a spray to set it. Bellatrix was still in her nightgown and painting Narcissa's lips a rosy color to match her cheeks when Regulus spoke,

"Can you put some makeup on me?" He asked, Bellatrix froze for a moment, she knew she shouldn't, it wasn't right, but she didn't want to say no to Regulus.

"How about, after the ball, you come to my room and I'll put as much on you as you want?" Bellatrix said after a moment, Regulus's face fell for a moment,

"Oh, Okay." He said,

"Fine, just a little come here." Bellatrix folded and put some light color on his cheeks and lips.

Regulus smiled when Bellatrix finished and looked at himself in the mirror.

It took almost 3 hours to get Narcissa and Regulus ready, Bellatrix was still in her nightgown. She ran to the bathroom when she had finished to put on her dress. It was black with lace and a corset top. Bellatrix laced the corset and tied it as tight as she could. She came out of the bathroom and did her hair in an updo while Narcissa and Regulus watched. Bellatrix caught a glimpse of Narcissa behind her in the mirror.

"You're really pretty Bella. I wished I looked like you." She said, Bellatrix turned to face her,

"Thank you Cissa, but you're just as pretty if not prettier. Don't wish to look like me." Bellatrix said, then she put light makeup on and the three went down to the drawing room.

Andromeda and Sirius were no where to be seen. It was noon and no one had called for them. An hour before guests would arrive, Kreature appeared in the drawing room to tell them to come to the ballroom.

Walburga, Orion, Sirius, Druella, Cygnus, and Andromeda stood by the door to the ballroom. Bellatrix walked towards them and she got a better look at Sirius and Andromeda. Sirius wore a black satin suit and cloak, the coller was really high and encrusted with gems. Andromeda's hair had been curled and she was dressed in a black velvet gown that covered most of her body. They both looked miserable and in pain. Narcissa coughed to conceal a laugh.

"Father," Bellatrix greeted,

"Bellatrix,"

"don't you look lovely!" Orion said, Bellatrix swallowed a wave of nausea,

"Thank you." She said, as long as it's not Cissa a Reggie, she thought,

*****

Guests started arriving, Andromeda was greeting each guest, Sirius looked like Walburga had chained him to her, Narcissa was talking with Bellatrix's friends, and Regulus was following Bellatrix wherever in shadow. Bellatrix walked through the party avoiding her Uncle and greeting people. Soon, dancing began, Rudolphus came to fetch Bellatrix for the first dance.

"Bellatrix, may I have this dance?" He asked extending a hand, Bellatrix took it and followed him onto the floor. They danced for two danced before Bellatrix excused herself. Rudolphus was significantly taller, Bellatrix only came up to his shoulders, not to mention twice as strong. He was practically yanking Bellatrix around like a doll, after all, he was three years older. Bellatrix left the floor where Regulus met her.

"He's attractive." Regulus said plainly, it was true, blue eyes, black hair, pale skin, strong jaw, he was attractive.

"Yea, well good for me because I'm arranged to marry him after I graduate." She said,

"Will I have an arranged marriage?" Regulus asked,

"No, it's just first borns. So Sirius and I." Bellatrix said,

"So I can marry whoever I want?"

"Yes, well, no. You couldn't marry anyone the family doesn't approve of." Bellatrix said

"Right." Regulus said, he saw Walburga advancing and quickly slipped back into the shadows.

"Well, I saw you and Rudolphus. The two of you will make fine heirs. He will need to learn to admire and love you, but that will come when you grow. What do you think?" Walburga said,

"He's certainly not horrible at all." Bellatrix said, she still had little regard for him, after all he was just going to be married to her, that had nothing to do with love.

"Not at all." Walburga said,

"Doesn't speak much." Bellatrix remarked,

"Well that's an advantage dear." Walburga said giving Bellatrix a wink.

A few more dances passed before Bellatrix went back to dancing with Rudolphus.

The night was uneventful, thank god. The only thing was, whenever she danced with Rudolphus, she desperately wished it were Rita. She wanted Rita there, Bellatrix decided that next year she would have her parents agree to Rita again.

Chapter Text

January 5th, 1964,

Bellatrix left her family on the platform as she boarded the train with Andromeda before promptly losing them and going to the car she shared with Rita.

She opened the door and Rita sprang up to give her a hug, which she gratefully accepted. The girls sat down as the train started leaving.

Eliza was telling Alecto about her break while Bellatrix sat staring out the window as Rita laid her head on her shoulder.

******

January 6th, 1964,

Bellatrix and Rita sat side by side in Slughorn's potions class. They were brewing giggling draught, it was the most complicated they had done, but Bellatrix was fine. Her potions were always perfect, and by extension, Rita's. Slughorn walked over,

"Ah, Miss Black, Miss Skeeter, perfect as always."

He dismissed the class but asked Bellatrix and Rita to stay, "Girls, now, normally with second yeasr I don't do this." He said, Bellatrix froze, her blood went cold and she wanted to throw up. It couldn't happen again, she wouldn't let it. "But, you are both exceptional students and I suspect great things from the both of you, so I am extending an invitation to you both for a special dinner with a select group of students." He finished, Bellatrix sighed a breath of relief,

"Thank you professor." Rita said since Bellatrix was panicked.

"Wonderful it's this friday at 7!" He said, Rita thanked him again, assured him they'd be there, then Rita pulled Bellatrix out,

"What was that?" She asked,

"What was what?" Bellatrix said, regaining her cool air though she never thought she had it

"Oh don't give me that Trix."

"I thought he meant something else." Bellatrix said with a wave of her hand, though she looked nervous again,

"what-?" Rita started but then thought about what Bellatrix had assumed, "Merlin Trix! He wouldn't do that! I can't imagine anyone who would! Why would you think that?" Rita said as she realized what Trix had thought.

"I don't know." Bellatrix lied, "I can't imagine anyone who would either." She lied again, inside she was panicking,

"You can't just imagine the worst of people." Rita said,

"Watch me." Bellatrix mumbled,

*****

It was the end of the day and the girls were in the library studying, Bellatrix had finished and was just helping her friends.

"UGH" Alecto exclaimed,

"You'll get it Alecto." Bellatrix said absentmindedly as she looked over Rita's essay

"No, I forgot my potions book in Trelawny's class." She said,

"Just go get it." Eliza said.

"I can't, it'll be locked,"

"You're a witch no? You can do an unlocking charm." Bellatrix said,

"Well, I have an exam in Defense against Dark Arts tomorrow so I have to stay and study." Alecto said,

"You have a potions essay tomorrow as well." Rita reminded her,

"Merde!" She cursed,

"I'll go get it. Can't be far." Bellatrix said, "I'm done anyway."

"Really? Thanks!" Alecto said, "You're the best."

"yes, I'm aware, where is it?" Bellatrix asked,

"The east tower, at the top."

"Merlin! That's across the castle!" Bellatrix said,

"So you won't get it?" Alecto said, her shoulders sagged,

"No, no, I'll still get it. I'll be back." Bellatrix said, she began walking to the divination classroom.

The walk did her well, it was quiet in this part of the castle now that it was nearly evening. She got to the bottom of the tower where Trelawney's class was and started to climb the stairs. She got to the class a little out of breath and paused before trying the door, it was unlocked. She opened it and saw a blonde and brunette sitting on the window bench smoking, they hadn't seen her yet.

"And I told her to shove it up her arse." The brunette said, the blonde started laughing,

"Merlin, Doll you can't say that to the profs." The blonde said, the smell of what they were smoking hit, she didn't recognize it. Their cloaks were draped over a chair next to Bellatrix, their shoes as well. They were both Slytherins.

Bellatrix watched and listened them for entirely too long, she watched each time the blonde looked at the brunette and bit her lip, when the brunette stole a glance when she thought the other wasn't looking, she listened to them talk and laugh and get closer. She watched them pull out another roll of whatever they were smoking and light it. She saw the way the blonde's eyes trailed to the brunette's lips as she puffed the roll; all of it. Then they kissed, and they would've kept kissing had Bellatrix not accidentally hit a crystal that fell and shattered.

"Shit-" The blonde said as she got off the brunette,

"Leave her," The brunette said, she wiped off the other girl's lipstick,

"I'm sorry, I came to get my friend's potion book." Bellatrix said, she repaired the ball with a flick of her wand. "Accio Alecto's potion book." The book went flying at Bellatrix who caught it and started to run out but the blonde grabbed her arm,

"Who are you?" She asked looking Bellatrix up and down, they were almost the same height.

"Who are you?!" Bellatrix responded,

"Merlin, Rosy, leave her." The brunette said from the bench.

"Rosy?" Bellatrix said,

"Short for Rosemary." The blonde said, "Rosemary Greengrass." She said,

"So my family is obsessed with space names and yours is into plants. Why are none of the sacred 28 families normal." Bellatrix said annoyed, Rosemary paused for a moment and then let her go,

"Bellatrix Black." She said,

"Correct,"

"Shit," the brunette said, "She won't tell will she?" She walked over,

"That you were smoking or sinning?" Bellatrix asked,

"Sinning? Really?" The brunette said,

"Yes, a woman and a woman shou-" Bellatrix started but the brunette grabbed her face

"Really?" She asked, "Because I find it's better when they do, plus it doesn't count as intercourse, so it's not wrong on the 'saving yourself' side of things." She said, Bellatrix snapped to attention for some reason at this."Oh? Does that excite you? Ya know, maybe you aren't upset we're fags, maybe you can't accept that's who you are." She taunted,

"Ridiculous." Bellatrix said, her breathing picked up and her color darkened,

"Mhmm." The brunette mused and then dropped her face,

"Who are you?" Bellatrix asked,

"You wouldn't know. I'm not sacred 28." she said winking,

Bellatrix turned and left at this. She practically ran until she was far away from the tower before stopping. A million things ran through her mind.

She walked back into the library after calming down, she sat down with her friends, she had decided to not tell them, or anyone, what she had seen. For one she didn't actually know who the other girl was, or much about what they were doing, plus, a part of her knew Rita would make an article, and the Greengrasses were a pure family, she wouldn't want her or Andromeda's drama laid out for everyone. Deep down the real reason she would never say anything was because they had a point, it didn't violate any rules about relations outside of marriage, and if no one knew...

*****

January 9th, 1964

Bellatrix thought about that night in Trelawney's class a lot. She wanted to be grossed out, and she convinced herself she was, but really she imagined that it was her, that she was brave enough to do something like that.

Classes were out for the day, but Rita and Bellatrix were getting ready for Slughorn's dinner. Bellatrix was still apprehensive about it. The girls walked down to his large office to find a round table where Slughorn and a few other students sat discussing. Bellatrix looked around to find her and Rita's places at the table, they were across from each other.

"it's fine Trix." Rita said, noticing Bella's unease about the situation. The girls sat down and more students began to come. Slughorn was talking to some Ravenclaw. Rudolphus walked in and stopped at the sight of Bellatrix, Bellatrix looked at him indifferently, he scanned the table and found his place-card right next to Bellatrix. He rolled his eyes at took the seat, Bellatrix scrunched up her face at his reaction. It wasn't like she had put him next to her, and neither of them had any control over the arrangement.

Rita shot a questioning glance at Bellatrix, she still hadn't told Rita. Bellatrix waved her hand to tell her it was nothing.

A few more students came in, none of them Bellatrix knew, then one she did. The brunette whose name she still didn't know walked in, there was only one place left, the one on the other side of Bellatrix. They both froze,

"Ah, Miss Cassandra, please sit." Slughorn said, she smiled and took her seat. Dinner commenced and when everyone's attention was engaged Cassandra grabbed Bellatrix's arm,

"What are you doing here?" She whispered, Rita who had been looking at Bellatrix while faking paying attention to Slughorn saw the whole thing,

"Eating dinner." Bellatrix whispered,

"Don't give me that." She said,

"Stop. Pretend we don't know each other. I haven't told anyone and I won't as long as you and Rosemary pretend it didn't happen." Bellatrix whispered sharply, at this moment Cassandra looked over to see Rita staring at them,

"Really, you didn't tell anyone? Not even the blonde over there who looks at you like she wants to kiss you?" Cassandra said smugly,

"What? Rita and I are just friends! Why do people keep saying this! And no I didn't tell her, now stop before she asks me about it later because then I'll have to tell her." Bellatrix said, Cassandra smiled and shook her head, it was all too familiar, the way Rita looked at Bellatrix was akin to how Rose used to look at her. The things Bellatrix said were so alike what she used to say. Right then she made it her personal mission to have them get together, otherwise they'd be in 7th year kissing for the first time and wished they had more time just like her and Rose.

*******

For the rest of the dinner Cassandra and Rudolphus ignored Bellatrix, though Cassandra watched her and Rita. After it was over Rita was back at Bellatrix's side, and Cassandra was watching them both,

"What was that?" Rita asked,

"What?" Bellatrix said, pretending she didn't know,

"The thing with the girl you were talking too, Cassandra." Rita said,

"Nothing," Bellatrix lied,

"Liar." Rita said,

"I'd be lying if I told you anything else Rita. Drop it." Bellatrix said harshly, she didn't like keeping things from Rita, but if she knew she'd write about it.

Rita and Bellatrix argued all the way back to the Slytherin common room.

"Why won't you tell me!" Rita said finally,

"Because you'd write about it, and maybe it's not something that needs to be advertised!" Bellatrix said,

"Trix, I would never write about anything you didn't want me to." Rita said, she was hurt Bellatrix didn't trust her.

"What if it was really good gossip." Bellatrix said,

"If you asked me not to I wouldn't." Rita said, "Trix, you can trust me." She added, in that moment Bellatrix would have told her anything she wanted to know, and she did. They went to their dorm and sat in Bellatrix's bed with a muffling spell as Bellatrix told her all about what happened when she went to get Alecto's book.

*****RITA*****

As Bellatrix told Rita everything that had happened she tried harder and harder not to cry. Bellatrix was telling her the exact views Rita feared she had, that she found queers despicable and that she didn't trust Rita.

Chapter Text

February 1st, 1964,

"Rita?" Bellatrix asked, the two girls sat in the library studying for final exams,

"Yea?" Rita answered without looking up,

"Remember that book you talked about a while ago?" Bellatrix said, Rita's quill froze,

"Uh, can you be more specific?" Rita asked, she continued to write, though she was paying more attention to Bellatrix.

"You said you wanted me to read it, it was a muggle book but you liked it. If I look in the letters you sent me I'm sure I can find the name, it was a name of some sort." Bellatrix said, she was oblivious to the fact Rita was freaking out slightly.

"Jane Eyre." Rita said,

"Yea, that one." Bellatrix said absentmindedly,

"What about it?" Rita asked,

"Well, I found a copy in the Library so I'm going to read it and take notes. Then I'll go home and read the letters you sent so I can understand what you were saying." Bellatrix said nonchalantly,

"You don't have to do that."

"Eh, I have nothing else to do over the summer." Bellatrix said, and just like that the discussion was over.

Rita had accepted the fact Bellatrix resented queers, and honestly she had come to agree. She had been confused, but she didn't have a crush on Bellatrix. Anyways, she used to and now they were great friends but Rita had written sickening letters.

Rita had nothing to do but ruin every attempt Bellatrix made to read the book. She couldn't bring it back to her house, so she might not finish it. All these attempts worked quite well and Bellatrix was only able to read the first couple chapters.

******

February 7th, 1964

Bellatrix received a letter from her aunt at breakfast.

*Dear Bellatrix,

After deliberation with your parents we have all come to an agreement that next year you shall join the quidditch team. It is becoming quite the reformed sport and it is a great achievement and show of good breeding. Anyhow, you are excellent on a broom, I know you don't need preparation but I wanted to let you know just so it doesn't come as a shock.

Yours, Aunt Walburga

Ps. I do hope you are intelligent enough to try for the position of seeker*

"Crap." Bellatrix muttered as she read over the letter,

"Mhm?" Rita questioned and peered over Bella's shoulder to read the letter. The blonde laughed and turned away,

"It's not funny!" Bellatrix said lightly pushing Rita,

"Yea, no, it kinda is. " Rita said,

"What?" Alecto asked,

"Trix's parents are making her tryout for quidditch next year. Oh, as a seeker." Rita said,

"Actually?" Alecto said,

"Yes." Bellatrix said, she handed the letter around to her friends,

"Do you even know the rules of quidditch?" Eliza asked,

"NO! I don't! I've never played or payed attention to a game! Why would they think I could do this!" Bellatrix said,

"Because, you're a bloody fast flier." Rita said,

"Alecto, I'm going to ask you for help with this and you are to tell no one." Bellatrix said,

"You don't even have to ask, I've long awaited being better than you ate something, I'll help you. Meet me on the quidditch pitch every day at 5am." Alecto agreed eagerly,

"Deal." Bellatrix said,

"That's so early!" Eliza said,

"I usually get up around then anyway." Bellatrix said,

"Freak." Eliza said,

"Whatever." Bella said, "I'll meet you there."

******

Bellatrix borrowed a broom from Hogwarts, she figured her parents would get her the top of the line gear soon anyway. Rita went anywhere Bellatrix went.

"This is ridiculous." Bellatrix complained as she read about the rules of quidditch,

"No it's not." Rita said,

"Listen to this, 'It is illegal to use love potion during a match' WHY DID THAT NEED TO BE A RULE?" Bellatrix shouted in frustration, Rita laughed,

"People do strange things every day." Rita said,

******

February 8th, 1964, 5am

Bellatrix was on the pitch at 4:50. She woke up and 4, Rita woke with her and braided her hair. Bellatrix then quickly dressed and went down to the dressing room to put on her gear.

Alecto flew down from somewhere and met Bellatrix,

"Nice broom." Alecto scoffed, Bellatrix didn't know anything about brooms, she had just picked the one that looked least ornate.

"Well it's fine."

"Not when you have to catch a snitch." Alecto said, she took Bellatrix to the broom shed and pulled out another broom that wasn't overly done but it was still really neat. "This will still suck but," Alecto said handing the broom to Bellatrix.

They walked back onto the pitch and Alecto instructed Bellatrix to mount her broom and do a few laps.

The morning air was cold, but Bellatrix felt good flying around with the wind pushing the small curls that escaped her braids back.

"So, the biggest thing is being able to split your attention between the match and the snitch. Seekers need to see where all the players are, where all the balls are, and look for the snitch. Then they have to be fast." Alecto said, the two of them were in the air and Bellatrix was growing restless as Alecto explained tactics.

"Great, can we run something." Bellatrix said,

"But-" Alecto started,

"I'm fine, just let's try a drill and if I suck we can go from there." Bellatrix said,

"Fine," Alecto said, she took out a bludgger and the quaffle and enchanted them to fly around, then she took a small red ball and enchanted it to fly around. "It's not a snitch but it will still be hard to catch, and the other balls will distract you." Alecto said,

"So, catch the red ball?" Bellatrix asked,

"Yes." Alecto said, Bellatrix shrugged and then shot into the air after the red ball.

She felt a rush as she jolted up on the broom, the red ball always in view. It went around the arena, winding through the hoops and trying to lose her. Bellatrix dodged the bludgger a couple times but eventually caught the ball. Then she landed next to Alecto smiling,

"Not bad? I thought I'd hate it, I'm always so proper but this is fun, it's like breathing freezing air and it stings your nose but you love it!" Bellatrix said, she was so energized,

"Talk about a flyers high." Alecto muttered, "Really good actually, I was having a hard time keeping the ball out of reach." she said,

"What next?"

"Honestly, I don't really know, I'm a beater, ask the seeker." Alecto said with a shrug.

"Who's the seeker?" Bellatrix asked

"Well, right now it's this 7th year, his name is Taylor Nemallin." Alecto said,

"So how do I talk to him?" Bellatrix asked,

"I don't know, come to my practice, I'll get him to talk to you." Alecto said.

Bellatrix left the field wishing she had done more.

*****

Alecto walked but with Taylor after her practice.

"So this is Bellatrix, she's super good on a broom, but she's never played before. She wants to try for seeker next year." Alecto said,

"Hi, I'm Bellatrix Black." Bellatrix said as she extended her hand for Taylor to shake.

"Hi." He said, "Nice you meet you."

"Uhm, I have to go, but you two talk." Alecto said, and with that she left,

"Get on your broom." Taylor said,

"What?" Bellatrix asked,

"You want to be a seeker, I want to see how you fly." Taylor said,

"So, you'll teach me?" Bellatrix asked,

"Well that depends on how you fly." He said.

*****

Bellatrix and Taylor flew for almost two hours before he called it to an end. He told Bellatrix to start meeting him after every practice for lessons.

Considering her first time playing, she was quite good. She could do anything on a broom and she listened well.

"How was it?" Rita asked when Bellatrix walked back in,

"Actually well, I don't like watching quidditch, but playing is more fun." Bellatrix said,

"Well I'm excited for my girl to be on the team!" Rita said,

"I'm not on it yet." Bellatrix said,

"Well you will be."

*******

March 1st, 1964

Bellatrix sat at the window in the common room, she was reading Jane Eyre, she hadn't gotten far, only the first chapter, she couldn't read it over break and something always seems to disrupt her when she's at Hogwarts.

Across the common room, Cassandra and Rosemary sat watching her.

"Honestly Cass, I don't know why you care, she might not even be queer." Rosemary said,

"She is, watch her with Rita." Cassandra said, she had been trying to convince Rose to help get the girls together.

It wasn't long before Rita came down and interrupted Bellatrix.

"TRIX!" She skipped over, Bellatrix closed her book,

"Rita," Bellatrix said, Rita moved Bella's legs off the other end of the couch she sat on and sat down. Bellatrix began to read again but Rita grabbed the book, "give that back." Bellatrix ordered,

"No, talk to me. You don't talk anymore! I miss your voice." Rita said,

"Ew, never say anything like that again." Bellatrix said, then she smiled, Rita smiled as well.

*******

April 17th, 1964,

"Run it again!" Taylor yelled, he was in the air supervising the team in their practice game. Bellatrix flew around on her broom waiting for them to finish,

The players groaned and went back a few positions, Bellatrix was actually learning a lot while watching them. She had been sitting on the bleachers but it got boring.

"BLACK!" Taylor yelled abruptly after they had run it again, Bellatrix stopped and turned around, she flew up to Taylor slowly.

"Don't yell at me." Bellatrix said calmly but with a look that would make anyone back down, "Now, what?"

Taylor colored and stared at her for a moment before deciding it wasn't worth it,

"Step in." He said,

"Where?" Bellatrix asked,

"Seeker, I'll release a snitch for you." He said, "We're gonna go into overtime for practice so you might as well start yours. We can't have Slytherin seeker-less when I leave." He said, Bellatrix smiled and flew onto the pitch,

"HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Rudolphus yelled from his broom,

"Relax, she's joining as seeker," Taylor said,

"Yes, relax Lestrange," Bellatrix winked as she flew past him,

"But-" He started to argue but Taylor blew his whistle and released the snitch.

*******

May 5th, 1964,

"I'm screwed for finals." Eliza said,

"You said that last year," Bellatrix replied,

"And?"

"And you got all 'E's"

"It's not fair," Eliza said,

"What isn't?"

"You! You never study but you always get perfect scores or the highest in the year!"

"I study a lot." Bellatrix said,

"Yea, but still, I study just as much!"

"No you don't," Bellatrix laughed

"Yea, I really don't" Eliza said realizing that was ridiculous, "I wish my family was like yours, maybe then I'd be perfect."

*******

June 1st, 1964

Bellatrix sat in the library with Rita while she crammed for their potions final, which was the next day.

"If you don't know it by now you're screwed," Bellatrix said,

"Shut up. quiz me." Rita said,

"How do you brew wolfsbane?"

"Isn't that a plant?"

"I don't know but it's the potion we learned at the beginning of the year." Bellatrix said,

"I don't know."

"You're screwed,"

"Very supportive."

********

June 2nd, 1964

The potions final was actually easy.

******

June 7th, 1964

Finals week went really well for Bellatrix, her friends did fine, Andromeda thought she had failed everything.

Bellatrix and Rita laid in her bed with the curtains closed,

"I can't go a whole summer without you." Rita said,

"You made it 13 years before." Bellatrix answered

"Well I didn't know you for 11 of those."

"Fair."

"It's our last night here!"

"Until September."

"That's really far away."

Bellatrix smiled, she was just happy to be spending her last hours at Hogwarts until next year lying with Rita.

Chapter Text

June 8th, 1964

Bellatrix and Rita sat in their train car silently, Rita was practically on top of Bellatrix who sat there and let it happen. The train pulled into the station and Bellatrix said goodbye to Rita as she went to get Andromeda. The children walked off the platform to find their parents, Narcissa, Uncle and Aunt, and Sirius and Regulus.

Various greetings were exchanged,

"Bellatrix, Regulus, come here." Druella said, she held out her arm and they both took it, "Andromeda, you're going with Walburga and Orion." Druella said, and then they dissaparated.

"Bellatrix take them and go to the drawing room." Druella said when they were inside the house.

Bellatrix took Regulus and Narcissa to the drawing room, when they entered they both hugged Bellatrix,

"Bella, I missed you." Narcissa said, she had grown taller, so had Regulus,

"You both look well." Bellatrix said looking them both over, "Why are Sirius and Andy going to Walburga and Orion's?"

"They've decided to keep us separated from them." Narcissa said,

"Ah," Bellatrix said, she wasn't sure what the appropriate response for that was. Horrendum came in,

"Miss Black is needed in Master's office." She said,

"What? You just got back!" Narcissa said,

"And I'll be right back." Bellatrix said, "I know the way, thank you Horrendum."

Bellatrix walked through the dark hallways of the house and came to her father's study, she was about to open the door when it swung open,

"Come in Bellatrix." Her father's voice called, she walked in. "Sit." He commanded, she sat,

"How was school?" He asked, Bellatrix was careful with her answer,

"I learned much," She replied,

"Good," he said, she let out a breath, so far so good, "As you know, you are to play quidditch next year, of course for a woman the only good position is seeker, so that's what you'll be." He said,

"Yes." Bellatrix said, not that she had a say in the matter,

"And you know that after you graduate you will marry Rudolphus."

"Yes."

"He is a fine lad."

"Yes,"

"Do you think Narcissa and Regulus will do well at Hogwarts?"

Bellatrix paused for a moment, "They were never a problem." she said, Cygnus nodded,

"You may go." He said,

"Thank you," Bellatrix said uncertainly and left.

She walked back to the drawing room.

"Here, she's back." Regulus said to Narcissa,

"I am back." Bellatrix said, she walked over to the table they sat beside, "what are you doing?"

"Cards," Regulus answered, he twirled a card between his fingers to distract Narcissa as he reached behind her ear to pull out a card, she laughed,

Reg and Cissa listened intently as Bellatrix told them all about Hogwarts, they asked a million questions and by the time they finished Horrendum came to tell them it was time for bed.

"Can we sleep in your room?" Narcissa asked,

Bellatrix knew her parents wouldn't approve, she knew she should say no, but she couldn't "Sure."

***

It took some time, but finally everyone was asleep, Bellatrix and Narcissa laid on the bed while Regulus slept on the small couch.

"Bella," Narcissa whispered,

"Shh Cissy, go to sleep." Bellatrix coed,

"Do you love Rudolphus?" She asked,

"No,"

"Then why are you marrying him?"

"Many reasons."

"Will I have to marry someone I don't love."

Bellatrix desperately wished she could say that Narcissa wouldn't have to, but she knew that wasn't true. 'Maybe, but I definitely have to."

"Do you think he loves you?"

"Quite the opposite, no." Bellatrix laughed a little at the thought, any time he saw her he acted like she was an infuriating stray who kept licking him,

"Will you ever love him?"

Bellatrix thought for a moment, "Maybe, probably not, but maybe."

"Is there someone else you love?"

For some reason Rita was the first person to come to mind, "No," She said, dismissing the idea

"Not even Rita?" Narcissa asked,

"She's a friend, I care for her very much."

"But do you love her?"

"It's different."

"Because she's a girl?"

"Yes,"

"If she wasn't a girl would you love her?"

"If she wasn't a girl I'd marry her on the spot,"

"What if our family said no?"

"i'd run away."

"No you wouldn't!" Narcissa gasped,

"I would, and I'd take you and Regulus with me." Bellatrix said,

"Well, ok." Narcissa said softly,

They both sat in silence for a few more minutes before Narcissa spoke again,

"Do you not love her because she's a girl, or do you love her but she's a girl?"

Bellatrix froze, she knew the answer, she knew she loved Rita, she wouldn't admit she knew, but she knew. "I don't love her because she's a girl." Bellatrix said as she thought about it,

"What if I loved a girl?"

"You won't, and I don't, for the record, this is me saying I do not love Rita." Bellatrix said, making sure it was clear.

"But what if I do?"

"Cissa," Bellatrix said,

"What would you do if you loved Rita?"

"Never tell anyone ever." Bellatrix said,

"Not even me?"

"Maybe if it ever worked out, but even if this happened, our families would never allow it."

"You wouldn't run away still?"

"No."

*****

June 16th, 1964

The summer had been peaceful, the children were allowed in the garden almost the entire day. Bellatrix played with them outside, they pretended they were adventurers lost in a forest. She told them scary stories when they were under a thick arch that blocked out almost all the light. When they went inside Bellatrix sat with them in the drawing room, she played piano for them and read to them. The only bad parts of these days for them was eating with their family.

"Where were you?" Druella asked when Cygnus joined them for dinner, he was drunk,

"None of your concern." Cygnus said coldly, "Bellatrix come here," Bellatrix rose and walked over to her father. When she reached him, he grabbed her shoulders and turned her around to face Narcissa and Regulus. "Bellatrix, is your example. Sirius and Andromeda are failures and-"

"Don't say that!" Druella interrupted, Cygnus hit her without thought, then turned back to Regulus and Narcissa, Bellatrix shook slightly in her father's grip, she just hoped he didn't hurt Reg or Cissa, she would never forgive herself.

"As I was saying, Andromeda, your whore mother!" Cygnus said loudly. Bellatrix wiggled out of her father's grip as he insulted her mother. Narcissa had fled the room, poor Regulus sat at the table frozen. Bellatrix slipped over to him as Druella began yelling at Cygnus who then yelled back, she gripped his arm and pulled him out of the chair,

"Come on," She whispered, Regulus began to walk with her. Bellatrix took him to the drawing room. "Cissa?" She called softly,

"She won't be here." Regulus said quietly,

"Why?" Bellatrix asked,

"It's not safe." Regulus said simply, like it was the most normal thing, like all families had places in their homes that weren't safe.

Of course, Bellatrix thought, sometimes she forgot, not often, but sometimes she did forget she didn't live somewhere secure. "Where is she?" Bellatrix asked,

"Better question, the other one was stupid, especially for you." Regulus said, he smiled slightly when Bellatrix looked at him,

"Was that your attempt at a joke?" Bellatrix asked smiling,

"I've heard it lightens the mood." Regulus said with a grin,

"What do you think?"

"Overrated."

"Definitely," Bellatrix said laughing a little, she hugged Regulus.

"She'll be in your room." Regulus said,

"Well, let's go to my room." Bellatrix said.

They began walking to her room, the halls echoed with the screams of her parents, it was a very echoey house.

Bellatrix opened her door and quickly closed it before casting a muffling charm, mostly so they didn't hear their parents.

"Cissy?" Bellatrix called softly,

"Mhm," Narcissa said, she sat, curled up in a chair in the corner of Bellatrix's room. Her knees were against her chest and her head lay on it's side,

"Are you alright?"

"Yea, it's been happening more. It started when you left for Hogwarts, it's gotten worse this year. I've gotten used to it, best thing to do is stay out of it. No use trying to help." Narcissa said. Bellatrix's heart broke, she had left, she had left them all in that house, she couldn't protect them. Narcissa had dealt with this for two years on her own because Merlin knows Andromeda never bloody helped.

"I'm sorry." Bellatrix said,

"It's okay." Narcissa said, she knew Bellatrix meant she was sorry she wasn't there, but Bellatrix couldn't be everywhere and Narcissa seemed to be the only one who understood that. Bellatrix wanted to be everywhere and everyone wanted her to be everywhere. The only break Narcissa could give her was being the least troublesome child. She knew she could've written to Bella about what was happening, she knew Bella would've somehow protected her, but she didn't.

Bellatrix didn't see Cissa not telling her as a favor, she thought Narcissa didn't trust her, and that hurt. Then again she was a bit of a hypocrite because she constantly lied to Cissa, but just to keep her safe, though that is what Narcissa was doing.

******

June 18th, 1964,

Narcissa and Regulus were asleep in her bed, it was almost 1 in the morning, Bellatrix was hiding in the bathroom with a muffling charm and the portrait Rita had given her.

She hadn't gotten a moment alone since summer started, which was great, honestly she enjoyed Cissa and Reg, but she hadn't even taken the portrait out. She had been keeping it in her trunk and taking it with her when she went to Hogwarts because she didn't want anyone to find it.

She pulled it out and Rita opened her eyes,

"Trix! Thanks for taking me out of the bag! Love how you treated me!" Rita said sarcastically,

"I'll return you."

"I'll regift me back to you from me"

Bellatrix laughed, "I miss you."

"Family that bad?"

"Actually, no. Well, yes, but no. I'm with Cissa and Reg, Andy and Sirius are at my Aunt's, and my father is always off and my mother is always doing who knows what in the house to occupy herself." Bellatrix said,

"Then why are you in a bathroom?"

"Cissa and Reg are sleeping in my room."

"They can say hi"

"Key word in that sentence was SLEEPING." Bellatrix said sarcastically,

"Well, why was I in your bag for like, months?"

"Because you're a painting and you're not really Rita so you get put in my bag."

"If that were true you wouldn't have taken me out."

"I got desperate."

Rita laughed,

"This is kinda creepy." Bellatrix said after a moment,

"I thought it was sentimental."

"I kinda wanna get rid you you cause you're freaking me out."

"You're always around moving portraits,"

"It's not that you're moving it's that it's you, but it's not really Rita." Bellatrix said as she turned the painting around to inspect it. "Would real Rita be upset if I got rid of you?"

"Give her a moving painting of you and then see if it freaks her out."

Bellatrix ended up keeping the painting, she took it out of her trunk and put it in the bathroom cabinet no one uses.

Chapter Text

June 19th, 1964,

Bellatrix woke up first and then woke up Regulus and Narcissa to send them to their respective rooms. Then she got ready and went downstairs for breakfast. Cygnus was gone but Druella sat at the table, she wore long sleeves and a lot of foundation, so Cygnus had been hitting her more.

Bellatrix wasn't sure whose side she was on, they were both abusive to each other, and neither of them were loyal. She didn't know what Walburga and Orion were like alone, but it couldn't be worse. Meals were silent unless Cygnus was there, then he spoke but no one else did.

After breakfast the children went to the drawing room for a few hours. They each had a tutor looking over their shoulder as they did work for a head. They had lessons and then they were free. They would go to the garden and have fun, it was warm, but they didn't mind. Bellatrix would lead them off the garden into the woods, there were enchantments to prevent them from leaving the bounds of the property, but Bellatrix knew where they were. Bellatrix led Cissa and Reg to a lake she had found years earlier.

"Here it is." Bellatrix said as they walked into a clearing. The trees still provided shade over a large part of the lake, it was clear and at its deepest only 10 feet. Narcissa squealed and took off her dress to jump in, she swam up to the surface and spit water at them.

"COME ON!" She said, she swam down and began exploring the bottom of the lake, Bellatrix looked over to Regulus who looked paler,

"Reg?" She asked,

"I can't swim." He said,

"Do you want me to teach you?" Bellatrix asked, Regulus nodded, Bellatrix took her dress off, leaving only her under-slip on, she walked into the water. "Come on," She said, Regulus took off his robes and walked to her, she was in waist-high water. "Ok, dunk yourself." Bellatrix said when he reached her,

"What?" Regulus asked,

"Like, go under."

"Oh." Regulus looked at her for a little longer before submerging himself.

Bellatrix spent an hour teaching him before he got the hang of it, still he didn't go past where he couldn't stand. Narcissa swam in the middle of the lake, she was chasing fish and picking up rocks. Bellatrix wanted to join her but she didn't want to leave Regulus alone,

"Go." Regulus said, it was uncanny, Bellatrix could always hide her emotions, but Regulus always knew what she was thinking because he was thinking the same.

"You'll be alright?" Bellatrix asked,

"Yea."

Bellatrix smiled and swam out to Cissa, she dove under and swam beneath the surface, the water felt good in the hair and she wasn't hot anymore. Bellatrix returned to the surface and waited for Narcissa to notice her, she swam up at once.

"Look at the rock I found!" Narcissa held up a clear quartz to Bellatrix,

"Pretty," Bellatrix said,

"Dive down with me!"

"Alright, count of three."

"One."

"Two."

"Three."

The two girls dove down and watched the little animals of the sand scurry around. They came back up and went down the second they caught their breath. Eventually they just layed on the bottom watching the sun through the water, they couldn't stay for long but it was fun before they ran out of breath.

Regulus watched from wait-high water, he didn't feel sad or jealous or left out, he just enjoyed seeing Bellatrix and Narcissa so happy and free.

Eventually Narcissa and Bellatrix swam back to Regulus and the three of them played around for a while before Bellatrix saw the sun begin to set.

"Crap. We have to go." Bellatrix said, she got out of the lake and went to her wand, she quickly dried herself with a quick spell and then dressed. She did the same for Narcissa and Regulus and they began running back to the garden. They entered the garden gate and heard Horrendum calling their names,

"We're here!" Bellatrix called, Horrendum then ran to them, she was out of breath, "You are wanted back in the drawing room." she said.

Bellatrix quickly took Cissa and Reg to the drawing room. There, the three of them began to laugh.

*****

July 1st, 1964

Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Regulus stood by the front door waiting for their parents so they could leave for Aunt and Uncle's.

Finally they dissaparated.

Sirius and Andromeda greeted them at the door, from there Orion went to speak with Druella and Cygnus, they took Andromeda and Sirius with them. Kreature took Narcissa and Regulus to the drawing room. Aunt Walburga and Bellatrix stood in the entranceway,

"Tea?" He aunt asked,

"Yes, thank you."

They walked into the dining room and Walburga put on a pot.

"How has summer been?"

"Good,"

"And quidditch?"

"Better. It's more interesting to play than to watch," Bellatrix said,

"I'm so glad we're getting the three of you till the end of July. I have had enough with Sirius and Andromeda." She said abruptly,

"We're switching?"

"mhm, is that alright with you?"

Bellatrix thought before answering, "I am content as long as I stay with Regulus and Narcissa." Bellatrix said,

"Hmp, well, we'll have to have tea weekly." Walburga said,

******

July 5th, 1964,

Aunt Walburga's house didn't have a forest, they did have a large field with lots of hills. Lessons were every other day, so on days off, the children would explore the fields; Narcissa enjoyed making crowns of the flowers, she's making one for each of them. Regulus was happy to do anything involving his cousins, and Bellatrix would've done whatever either asked of her.

Regulus's parents weren't as tense, it was nice to see two adults getting along. Meals were fine, Walburga asked a lot of questions, Orion stared at Bellatrix.

The only bad thing about staying at Aunt's was Uncle Orion. Bellatrix avoided him at all costs, but still. He watched her intently, waiting for her to mess up so he had an excuse to take her somewhere else alone for punishment. Any little error Bellatrix made resulted in Orion crucioing her for far longer than warranted. Each time Bellatrix felt like she was losing something.

At night Bellatrix snuck into her bathroom while Regulus and Narcissa slept to read Jane Eyre. She had taken the book home, and she had brought it everywhere with her, the letters where Rita mentioned it as well.

Bellatrix sat in the bathroom with her wand and read. She hadn't looked at any of Rita's letters yet, but she was almost finished with the book.

*Reader, I married him...

FINIS*

Bellatrix closed the book, she had actually enjoyed it, despite it being very muggle. She pulled out the letters Rita had written,

My dearest, Trix,

How are you? I miss you so much, it is so boring without you. How are your sisters? Did they like me? Have you told them about me? I hope it was all good things, anyway, I can't wait to see you again, my parents said you were lovely and I told them all about you. I got an owl, I'm naming her Saturn since it matches with Jupiter, I hope they become friends. I started reading a book, it was called Jane Eyre. It's a muggle book, but It's wonderful! Really you should read it, I really think you and I are like Jane and Helen, though I'm not sure who is who. Anyway I'll tell you more about it the more I read.

Love, Rita

She thought about it. Jane and Helen had been best friends, it wasn't a bad comparison, she pulled out a piece of parchment to begin writing back,

*Dear Rita,

I've finished Jane Eyre, I am now looking over everything you said about it in your letters. I think that Helen and Jane are similar to you and I, but it didn't cross my mind when reading the book.

Dear Trix,

You're so right, Saturn and Jupiter get along well, Jupiter reminds me of you. I've finished Jane Eyre, I think we are more like Jane and Rochester. I won't spoil it for you and I can't wait for you to read it, I've grown fond of classic muggle literature. Come to think of it, you remind me of it, all proper and troubled yet indescribably beautiful

Love, Rita

Bellatrix tried again to read the crossed out words but failed, then she re-read the letter. She paused, Jane and Rochester had gotten married, they had been the lovers of the book. Bellatrix almost freaked out but then she thought, maybe Rita hadn't meant that part of them, maybe it had been the dynamic. That was probably it. She began to write,

*Dear Rita,

I've finished Jane Eyre, I am now looking over everything you said about it in your letters. I think that Helen and Jane are similar to you and I, but it didn't cross my mind when reading the book. I think that the dynamic between us strongly reflects that between Jane and Rochester. Other than them being lovers I think that's the best comparison. I can't wait to see you again,

Your Bellatrix*

She tied the letter to Jupiter and sent her off, then she placed the book and letters in the drawer and went back to her room.

******

July 15th, 1964

*****RITA******

Jupiter came flying in Rita's window, she jumped up from her bed and rushed over to let her in.

"Hello Jupiter."

The owl chirped, she took the letter and Jupiter flew to Saturn's cage so Rita let her out and the two flew out. She opened the scroll,

*Dear Rita,

I've finished Jane Eyre, I am now looking over everything you said about it in your letters. I think that Helen and Jane are similar to you and I, but it didn't cross my mind when reading the book. I think that the dynamic between us strongly reflects that between Jane and Rochester. Other than them being lovers I think that's the best comparison. I can't wait to see you again,

Your Bellatrix*

Rita's put down the letter,

She hadn't expected Trix to finish the book, and even if she had, she didn't think she would look back over Rita's letters, and if she did, Rita was sure she would've put two and two together, thankfully she didn't. Especially considering Rita's opinion and feelings on the matter were changing. She hadn't been in love with Trix, they were just best friends, it was okay to find her pretty and to want to be around her all the time.

********

July 17th, 1964

*****BELLATRIX*******

*Trix,

I miss you so much, I'm so glad you liked Jane Eyre, of course without the lovers part, that's queer. Anyway, speaking of which, you know the queers you saw in the astronomy tower? Well, I want to write about it. It's important to spread awareness of that kind of behavior. I hope you agree.

Love, Rita*

Bellatrix wrote one word on the back of the letter,

*Sure.*

Then she sent it back, she thought about how Rita had answered, her letters were usually longer, she never wrote just "Trix", she always added something to the beginning. She also had never shown any hate of queers. Whatever, Bellatrix thought, I don't care, she's right about them anyway.

******

July 30th, 1964

"Bellatrix, please accompany me to my study." Orion said when Bellatrix walked past him in the hall.

She wanted to say, get fucked, or, I'm sure you can find it yourself, but she didn't, she smiled and said "Of course Uncle."

As the two walked Orion put his hand on Bellatrix's shoulder, she shuddered, she could feel his eyes on her body.

He opened the door to the study and ordered Bellatrix to stand in the middle of the room. He circled her, like a dog, she thought, a stray mangy ugly obscene dog. She was tempted to command him to roll over but it wasn't that funny because she was terrified.

"Take off your dress." he said, Bellatrix froze, "Now."

Still Bellatrix couldn't move, she was locked in her body,

"Crucio."

Bellatrix's screams filled the study, when the spell ended, her hair was a mess and most of her had carpet burn. Tears ran down her face, she looked up at her Uncle who stood over her with an impassive face. She wanted to fight, she wanted to scream and run and curse him, instead, she slid her dress down her body.

Immediately Bellatrix covered as much as she could with her arms,

"Crucio."

********

Bellatrix walked back to her bedroom alone, it was dark outside and the halls were cold. Her body felt like it would give out, her hair had been pulled so much that it made her scalp bleed; her dress was put on inside out.

Bellatrix was freezing, but she was sweating, one of her hands supported her with the wall while the other was clasped around the necklace Rita gave her, as if that would do anything. Her skin burned because of the rug burns all along her back and stomach, her body ached from being crucioed, her eyes were red and her face was swollen from crying, and she would have 5 new scars on her thighs, each precisely five inches long and perfectly straight.

She stumbled into her room, her head hurt, a lot, the inside as well. She went to the bathroom and turned the shower on, then she sat down to wait for it to heat and fell asleep.

*********

"Bella,"

"Bella wake up."

"BELLA!"

Bellatrix jolted up, "What? Regulus? What?" She said in confusion, Regulus sat in front of her with his hands on her shoulders, the room was hot and full of steam.

"Are you ok?" He asked,

"I'm fine." Bellatrix said,

"You left the shower on. I came in after an hour and you were just slumped on the floor." Regulus said, the memories of what had happened came back to Bellatrix, "You're covered in-"

"Bruises?" Bellatrix filled in,

"Yes, and a little blood." Regulus said, he grabbed a towel and put some water on it before lightly dabbing at her face,

"Reggie, leave. I'm fine." Bellatrix said,

"He does it to me too." Regulus said absently, Bellatrix froze, "That is what happened right? He took you into his office and punished you, and made you do things." Regulus said, Bellatrix's heart broke, she had never said anything or done anything so it was always her and no one else, but it happened to Regulus.

"Since when?" Bellatrix asked, her voice was hoarse,

"I was five the first time."

"Does Walburga know?"

"She wouldn't care,"

"Yes she would."

"Why don't you tell her then?"

Bellatrix didn't have an answer for that. Regulus dropped the cloth and sat next to Bellatrix,

"I feel dirty." Bellatrix said softly,

"I know." Regulus said,

"Will it go away?"

"Until it happens again. But you never stop feeling it."

******

August 2nd, 1964

Bellatrix was back with her sisters in their house. The three girls sat in the drawing room, Narcissa was playing the piano while Andromeda was in a tutoring session, Bellatrix had been left to herself.

Suddenly Horrendum appeared,

"Miss Bellatrix is wanted in the dining room." The elf said before bowing,

Bellatrix made her way to the dining room where her mother and father stood with a broom on the table.

"Bellatrix," Cygnus said,

"Father, mother."

"We've gotten you a broom for quidditch this year." He said,

"Thank you. Will Andromeda be trying out?" Bellatrix said, she had assumed Andy would be on the team with her,

"Andromeda's skill on the broom is bad at best, it wouldn't be wise. However next year Narcissa will join you." He said,

"Thank you." Bellatrix said again,

"Take the broom and go practice outside." Cygnus said, "You may go now."

Bellatrix inclined her head took the broom and left. She walked to the back door and exited into the warm August air.

*****

Bellatrix spent the majority of August on her broom outside.

Chapter Text

September 1st, 1964

Bellatrix stood on the platform with her whole family. They said their goodbyes and Bellatrix led Narcissa and Andromeda inside the train.

Once it pulled out Andromeda left the car the 3 were in while Rita and Bellatrix's other room mates joined.

"Trix!" Rita exclaimed,

"Rita!" The two girls collided in a hug and began to catch up. Narcissa sat awkwardly next to Rita who had sat right between her and Bellatrix.

Alecto and Eliza were all engaged in their own conversation.

"I know you all have met her but this is my sister Narcissa." Bellatrix said, "Narcissa, this is Rita, Eliza, and Alecto."

"I love your hair." Alecto said to Narcissa, "You're the only Black with blonde hair."

"Thank you." Narcissa said,

The conversation died out and they all began talking in their respective groups.

"How was home?" Rita asked,

"Well I was switching with Narcissa and Regulus between my parent's and their house. And then in August we all went back to our own houses." Bellatrix said,

"Wow, so they really are separating you all from Andromeda and Sirius?"

"Yea, I just hope that Cissa does well. I can't handle having to watch them all 24/7"

"Don't worry."

******

As usual, Narcissa was one of the first to get sorted, after a couple other people,

"Narcissa Black!" The hat had barely touched her when it decided,

"SLYTHERIN!"

More clapping,

After the ceremony Narcissa went up to Bellatrix, Andromeda stood awkwardly on the side as she told Bellatrix what the hat had said to her.

*******

September 2nd, 1964

"I love your hair." Rita said as she combed through Bella's curls with her hands,

Bellatrix's head was leaning back towards Rita as she braided,

"I love you," Bellatrix said, her eyes were half closed, she felt Rita's hands freeze and quickly added "I love when you braid my hair! Sorry, it just really feels good when you do that!"

Rita laughed, Bellatrix faked a laugh before closing her eyes and mentally cursing herself.

The girls had talked about Jane Eyre the night before. In hushed tones they whispered to each other, their noses almost touching, their bodies so close yet so far. Their minds occupied by the subject the girls had began to love, they debated about the character and told each other what they would have done in certain situations. Bellatrix told Rita about the connections between her family and different characters in the novel. Rita was so open and inviting and Bellatrix liked watching how her friend's eyes floated down to her lips and smiled as Bellatrix told her secrets she would never reveal to anyone else. Bellatrix kept talking about her family, about how they acted behind closed doors, about the things they'd done to Bellatrix and what they had made her do. She told Rita about Orion, she told Rita everything about her family she swore she'd never tell and when she was done, Rita just hugged her, and they stayed like that.

Memories of last night floated back as Bellatrix sat with Rita lightly tugging on her hair, she smiled. As Bellatrix had spent August on her broom outside, she thought about Rita a lot. When she went to bed she thought about Rita, when she laid in bed gasping and cursing, she thought about Rita.

She hadn't accepted that she was a lesbian, she hadn't even accepted that she was in love with Rita. She just told herself it was normal, all good friendships were like this. The idea of queers still made her angry for no reason, she spoke with vehemence on the subject when brought up. Then she went to bed and imagined Rita beneath her.

*******

"New schedules are being passed out as I speak!" McGonagall said as she gave instructions, someone handed Bellatrix and Rita their schedules, Bellatrix looked at hers

*
Monday- 8-9 History of magic, 9:05-11 Potions 11:05-12:30 Defense against the dark arts, 12:30-1 Lunch, 1:05-2:15 Transfiguration, 2:30-3:30 Charms, 7-8pm Astronomy

Tuesday- 8-9 Herbology, 9:05-10:30 Ancient Ruins, 9:05-11, Field studies, 11:05-12 music, 11:05-12 art, 12:05-12:45 Lunch, 1-2 Arithmancy, 2:05-3:30 Alchemy,

Wednesday- 8-9 History of magic, 9:05-11 Potions 11:05-12:30 Defense against the dark arts, 12:30-1 Lunch, 1:05-2:15 Transfiguration, 2:30-3:30 Charms, 7-8pm Astronomy

Thursday- 8-9 Herbology, 9:05-10:30 Ancient Ruins, 9:05-11 (time turner needed) Field studies, 11:05-12 music, 11:05-12 art, 12:05-12:45 Lunch, 1-2 Arithmancy, 2:05-3:30 Alchemy,

Friday- 8-9 History of magic, 9:05-11 Potions 11:05-12:30 Defense against the dark arts, 12:30-1 Lunch, 1:05-2:15 Transfiguration, 2:30-3:30 Charms, 7-8pm Astronomy
*

"Do we have all the classes we both take together?" Rita asked, Bellatrix looked at Rita's schedule

"I think so? Oh, no, we have Astronomy on different days." Bellatrix said,

"Great so we'll be in a bad mood on different days." Rita said sarcastically,

*****
At the end of the day Bellatrix was joined by Narcissa who wanted to tell her about her day. Bellatrix looked at her schedule and listened to Cissa tell her everything. They sat in the common room, Bellatrix sat in a chair across from Cissa while Rita sat on the arm of her chair.

*****

September 10th, 1964

Bellatrix thought about Rita, she thought about kissing Rita, about being in bed with her and touching her. She ignored every screaming alarm telling her it was wrong. She knew it was wrong, but it was good. She never admitted anything to herself, much less anyone else.

*****

September 15th, 1964

Bellatrix sat outside with her broom as she waited for her name to be called for quidditch tryouts. The sun was bright and it was windy and early in the morning. Rita, Andromeda and Narcissa all sat in the stands to watch Bellatrix.

"Bellatrix!" The new captain called, it was the keeper, 7th year Sebastian Murphy.

Bellatrix flew up on her broom while the other players got in position for the mock game.

The balls were released and Bellatrix began searching for the snitch. She scanned for any glints in the sly or around the pitch, after a moment she saw it. The snitch was flying around about a meter above the left goal post on her side, she rose on her broom and dove after it.

The snitch zipped away as Bellatrix followed it, she wove through her team after the snitch. The snitch was right out of Bella's reach, she pushed forward and reached out.

The whistle blew as Bellatrix caught it. She smiled as she flew over to the captain and handed him the golden ball.

"Nice catch." He said,

"Thanks," Bellatrix said,

"Rudolphus who hovered near scoffed but Bellatrix ignored him. They had never had a problem until Bellatrix knew about the arrangement and since then Rudolphus has hated her. Sometimes she wondered if she had upset him or hurt his ego by not caring, but not often because she really didn't care and he wasn't a concern.

*******

September 22nd, 1964

The next week the team was posted in the slytherin common room.

Captain/Keeper: Sebastian Murphy (year 7)
Seeker 1: Rudolphus Lestrange (year 6)
Seeker 2: Mallon Avery (year 5)
Seeker 3: Alex Gardmen (year 5)
Beater 1: Alecto Carrow (year 3)
Beater 2: Amycus Carrow (year 3)
Seeker: Bellatrix Black (year 3)

Rita was the one to tell Bellatrix,

"Trix! You're the new seeker!" She said,

"Oh," Bellatrix said, she wasn't really surprised, she knew she had made it, I mean, she saw everyone's tryout.

"That's underwhelming, I had pictured hugging." Rita said awkwardly,

"No, I just kinda knew already. Well I didn't know but I figured, I figured you figured. You know?" Bellatrix said,

"Oh, right." Rita said,

Bellatrix nodded slowly when Eliza ran over,

"YOU GUYS YOU GUYS!" She shouted,

"What? What's wrong are you okay?" Bellatrix said immediately,

"What? I'm fine, it's good. Merlin lighten up, not everything is an emergency." Eliza said, Bellatrix blushed, she felt ashamed. She was ashamed she was different, that she had to assume everything was urgent and a problem because that's how it was at home. Rita grasped Bella's hand as she realized.

"What is it?" Rita said to direct Eliza back to her original news,

"I'm dating Rabastian Lestrange!" She said excitedly,

"Oh Merlin! Congratulations!" Rita said,

"Sorry." Bellatrix said, that was honestly her first reaction, Rita's as well but she hid it better.

"Excuse me?" Eliza said,

"Sorry? I mean." Bellatrix said pretending as if she meant she didn't hear what Eliza had said,

"Oh, I said I'm dating Rabastian." Eliza said quickly,

"Oh! Lovely!" Bellatrix said, it sounded forced but Eliza seemed fine. They talked for a moment more before Eliza ran off the tell Alecto.

"Merlin Trix, you're a horrid liar." Rita laughed as Eliza left,

"I wasn't ready!" Bellatrix said giggling, "I mean, RABASTIAN! And absolutely no build up!" Bellatrix said,

"What do you mean! It was so obvious! How did you not see it coming?"

"It was not!"

"Merlin! You don't pay attention to people!"

"I pay attention to you, and Cissa."

"Debatable for Narcissa."

"You are just really nosy. That's how you know everything."

"True."

******

October 1st, 1964

Bellatrix now had quidditch practice for an hour every day after class, and Rita watched all of them. She enjoyed watching Bellatrix fly, the way her braids (that Rita had done that morning in the dawn's light) flew behind her, the way Bellatrix crouched on her broom ready to shoot forward when she saw the snitch, there was a certain predatory gleam in her eye. All of these just left Rita breathless.

******

The whole team was training really hard because they had a match with Gryffindor in a week, Bellatrix had seamlessly entered the team, they all loved her. Well, Rudolphus hated her but whatever.

After practice Sebastian called Bellatrix over,

"Hey," He said,

"What's up?" Bellatrix asked,

"You can't wear your necklace, for the match. It's against regulation." He said

"What? That's so stupid why?"

"It could be enchanted or something, anyway, I have things to do." He said before flying off. Bellatrix flew down to meet Rita,

"Nice practice." Rita said,

"Thanks," Bellatrix answered.

********

October 10th, 1964

The match between Slytherin and Gryffindor was today.

Bellatrix and Rita were in the dorm as Bellatrix got ready for the game, she sat at her desk while Rita braided her hair. Bellatrix was fidgeting with her necklace she needed to take it off but she didn't want to, Rita had asked her not to. Maybe she could wear it as long as it was out of sight.

Bellatrix unclasped the necklace,

"What are you doing?" Rita asked, she paused braiding Bella's hair,

"I have to take it off for the game, but I'm just going to clip in under my shirt." Bellatrix said, she took her arm out of her sleeve and partially pulled her shirt off, Rita just stared through the mirror in front of them as Bellatrix clasped the necklace to a part of her bra.

*****

Bellatrix flew out with her team onto the pitch, almost every student and teacher sat in the stands. Bellatrix watched as the Gryffindors came out.

Rita sat with Narcissa.

The teams took their positions, and the whistle blew. The Gryffindor seeker, Norman shot into the air to get a better vantage point, Bellatrix stayed in the middle.

"And Slytherin is in possession! 6th year Rudolphus is making his way towards the goal... AND HE SCORES! Ten points to Slytherin!" Eliza said through the intercom,

Bellatrix watched the glimmer of light that told her where the snitch was, Norman was above the pitch looking around. Slytherin was beating Gryffindor by 30 points now; their team hadn't really been good for a few years.

Rita sat in the stands with binoculars staring at Bellatrix and only Bellatrix; she didn't care about anything else happening in the game. Bellatrix looked so beautiful, her eyebrows drawn, her hair in two braids, a look of concentration on her face as she searched for the snitch.

"Gryffindor isn't doing great today! The score is 100-20, and still no sight of the snitch." Eliza said,

Bellatrix floated through the air, and suddenly she saw a slight glint flying around the action of the game. Bellatrix fixed her eyes on it and narrowed down to the snitch, she crouched and took off.

"And it looks like Bellatrix Black the new Slytherin seeker sees something!" The intercom announced, Norman noticed Bellatrix and immediately raced after her.

Bellatrix was ahead of Norman, she shot after the snitch as it started zipping through the players. She didn't really see anything other than the snitch.

Rita watched with bated breath, she saw Norman flying after her, he was fast, but she was just smoother, she could combine speed and control.

She was so close, Bellatrix was so close, she reached out as the snitch turned again but she just turned with it, she reached out and grabbed it. The second her hand closed around the snitch she stopped, just stopped perfectly, Norman shot past her.

"AND BELLATRIX CAUGHT THE SNITCH! THE GAME IS OVER SLYTHERIN WINS! AH" Eliza screamed through the intercom, people started cheering, Bellatrix smiled and watched as people screamed and clapped for her.

The teams came down and people ran onto the pitch, Narcissa and Rita included ran to Bellatrix. Rita threw her arms around her best friend, Bellatrix just laughed and hugged her back.

*******

There was a party in Slytherin's common room that night. Everyone was excited, and there was music, it was loud and had a lot of drums.

Eliza stood in the center of the room dancing to the music, everyone stared at her in a good way.

Bellatrix went up before the party was over, Rita went with her.

Rita and Bellatrix layed in Bella's bed together,

"You were incredible." Rita said softly,

Bellatrix laughed,

"You were!" Rita said as she laughed as well,

"I was I guess." Bellatrix said,

"Yea, you were. Well you are." Rita said, Bellatrix let out a breath,

"That's me! Incredible." Bellatrix said with mock excitement, she sighed,

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, forget it."

"No, no. What do you mean? Why'd you say it like that?"

"I don't know I just did."

"Bullshit."

"Don't speak like that it's not classy."

"Who cares! It's just us Trix!"

"Why are you trying to start a fight!?"

"I'm not!"

"Fine, then drop it!"

"No! Just tell me what you meant! You can trust me!"

"I just mean, I always have to be perfect." Bellatrix said,

"Yea but it's not hard, you just are perfect." Rita said

"I'm not perfect." Bellatrix said softly, "I have flaws."

"Really?"

"Yea."

"I can't picture you with any flaws."

"Well, just look at me and you'll see them."

"I spend all my time looking at you I've seen no flaws."

"Maybe you're not as keen on people as I thought."

"Maybe not."

They were quiet for a little,

"Trix?"

"Yea?"

"Will you help me write that article about those queers?"

Bellatrix paused, she had forgotten about that. They were seventh years now, "You're still going to do that?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know,"

"Is it a problem?"

"No. I'll help you yea."

"Thanks." Rita said, she turned and started to get up and leave,

"You're not staying?" Bellatrix asked as Rita went to her own bed,

"No?" Rita said like it was the strangest thing Bellatrix had even suggested.

Chapter Text

October 13th, 1964

This year, Bellatrix wasn't woken at midnight to her relief and disappointment. She had grown used to the routine, no matter how annoyed she would pretend to be.

Her birthday fell on a wednesday this year, so there wasn't much celebration. Narcissa and Andromeda wished her happy birthday in the morning, but that was it from them. Rita wished her a happy birthday and after classes, the four girls went to the black lake as per tradition.

"Oh, and I forgot to give this to you earlier." Rita said, they had been engaged in a conversation about how muggles clean, (all of it was wildly wrong considering none of them knew anything about muggles). Rita pulled out a medium black box with a silver ribbon and handed it to Bellatrix.

Inside was a leather bound book that Bellatrix immediately recognized as the one she had seen with Rita when they went to Borgin and Burkes. Bellatrix had seen it and wanted to take a look but she had to leave to meet her mother. A grin spread across her face,

"Thank you" she said looking at Rita before her attention returned to the book. She picked it up and turned the first page.

"I went back and got it after you left." Rita said, "It's a bunch of hexes and jinxes, and other spells. I figured you'd like it."

"I love it." Bellatrix said,

"one condition, you can't use any on me." Rita said, Bellatrix laughed.

*****

Bellatrix sat in her bed with the curtains drawn that night. Her wand illuminated the book Rita had given her.

"Trix!" Rita whispered from outside, Bellatrix pulled back the curtain to let Rita in.

"Mufflato." Bellatrix cast, Rita crawled up to Bellatrix,

"I annotated the book for you." She said, "I wanted to show you." Rita took the book from Bella and began flipping through until she reached the chapter on unforgivable curses,

"It's mostly just this chapter but there are other parts." She said, Bellatrix smiled,

"You think of everything." Bella said, Rita smiled and Bellatrix felt her heart flutter. She knew it was wrong but she couldn't help it, she knew she shouldn't love Rita, but she did. She reached out and let her fingers brush over Rita's cheek, her skin was soft and warm, a light blush was left in the wake of her touch. It was so gentle, Bellatrix had thought she lost that softness about her but it wasn't gone entirely.

Rita's breath caught for a moment. Bellatrix reeled her hand back to her lap and began fidgeting with the end of her nightgown. She shouldn't feel this, she shouldn't like this, but she did. It was good, so good. Bella wondered what Rita's skin would feel like under her lips. She wondered if the same blush would creep up, if her skin would be feverish, the perfect contrast to her own icy hands.

"What's wrong?" Rita asked, she noticed the look on Bellatrix's face, and for the first time she wondered if Bellatrix was going to cry. When Bella didn't answer she tried again, "Trix, talk to me."

Bellatrix was trapped, she couldn't actually say what was wrong. That the fact she wanted to kiss Rita was all she was thinking about, that she needed Rita's hands threaded through her hair constantly. She had to say something.

"My family." Bellatrix breathed out, it was the only thing she could think of, surprise flashed across Rita's face,

"What about it?" She pressed, Bellatrix took a breath, there was really no going back. She debated on what to tell Rita, honestly it was a subject she had wanted to broach with her best friend. She wanted to tell Rita about everything that happened behind the closed doors of her mannor. About the horrors that happened in the dark.

"You can tell me. I won't tell a soul." Rita said,

"Promise? Because what I'm going to tell you..." She sucked in a breath, "I'd be dead if anyone ever found out." her face was dead serious, Rita shifted,

"I promise." Rita said,

"My family, they aren't normal." Bellatrix said, she waited for interruption but none came, so she continued. "They punish us, a lot." She was stumbling over her words, she felt so scared her mother and father would appear that second and rip her from Rita before she could reveal all the secrets she had sworn to keep.

"You've seen how strict they are.. And it's so much worse normally. Sometimes they cut us, sometimes they use... spells. Ones I'm not allowed to talk about. But they always hurt us." She said, tears welled in her eyes at the memories, it was the entire reason she was such a rule follower at home. She learned early the consequences, and she hated them, she tried to never be on the receiving end of her parent's wrath.

"Trix, you can tell me. Tell me exactly what they do." Rita said, she put a hand on Bellatrix's arm,

Bellatrix took a breath, she ignored it most of the time. The screams of her sisters as her parents made her watch them be punished, as her parents made her punish them. Her own screams echoed in her mind. She couldn't speak, tears clouded her vision, but none fell.

"They make me do it, sometimes." She choked out, "They make me hurt Cissa and Andy. I hear their screams over and over again in my mind." Tears began to fall, Rita moved closer to Bellatrix and held her.

"It's okay..." Rita whispered, it wasn't, they both knew that, but they also knew they were powerless against it. A fact Rita resented more than Bellatrix. She hated that there was nothing she could do for Trix, that there was no saving her. Bellatrix let it all go, the years of pain and torture she endured in that house, it wouldn't change or fix anything, but it gave her some release.

Bellatrix's breaths came in heaving sobs that raked her body. She shook and gasped, grateful no one else heard, she grasped onto Rita like a life line as she choked on her own pain. Rita sat with her back braced against the headboard of Bella's bed, Bellatrix was curled in her lap, her face buried in Rita's chest as she cried. Rita just held on to her wishing she could do more.

Eventually, Bellatrix tired herself out and fell asleep.

*****

October 14th, 1964

Bellatrix woke up, she was still curled into Rita's arms who was asleep sitting up. She moved to get off Rita which woke her up.

"Are you okay?" Bellatrix asked,

Rita paused and stared at Bellatrix, "Are you?" She asked. Bella didn't answer, and that was answer enough.

"I wanted to tell you more..." She said, "I just-"

"It's alright." Rita said, "You can tell me whenever. However much or little you want me to know. I won't tell a soul, unless you asked me to."

"Thank you." Bellatrix said, it was inadequate for what she felt. Rita had given her what she never had, someone to hold her, to tell her it was alright, and there was nothing she could say. She felt as if she was now closer to Rita, as if they were extensions of each other.

*****

The day went by normally which seemed wrong. Rita didn't leave Bellatrix's side, as if she could protect her, not that she needed protection at hogwarts.

Bellatrix had been popular for a full day before that turned into being well known and well feared. Her quidditch skills had gained her recognition, it also made students think they could be familiar with her. She quickly shut down those sentiments.

"Nice game Bella," A passing student said, Bellatrix turned around so fast Rita couldn't do anything before Bella had hexed the boy. His tongue swelled ten times over and he was freaking out, Bellatrix advanced on him with her wand still pointed at his chest. He backed into a corner,

"You call me Bella again, I'll cut out your tongue. Got it?" She snarled, the boy nodded frantically, Bellatrix looked him over, "Get out of my sight." She hissed.

As the boy hurried away to the nurse Bellatrix turned back to Rita,

"What?" Bellatrix snapped,

"A little harsh."

"He's below me. Who cares."

Rita bit the inside of her cheek.

****
October 20th, 1964

Over the next week, Bellatrix shared more about her family with Rita. She told Rita about the spells they used on her, how they would heal the cuts so they never scarred because it wasn't proper for a lady.

"What happened that christmas eve? In first year, with your uncle?" Rita asked, Bellatrix had just finished telling her about the cruciatus curse that her father favored as punishment. Bellatrix froze, the one thing she hadn't mentioned what her Uncle would do behind closed doors. Rita sensed her unease and quickly backtracked, "You don't have to tell me until you're ready, or ever if you don't want to." She said,

"It was really horrible..." Bellatrix whispered, "Unspeakable." She shuddered, "Sometimes, it feels like they hurt us just because they can, or because it's a fight they know they'll win. Sometimes it feels like it's not to teach us and just because they haven't done it in a while. I know that's not true, that it's for our own good, but no matter how good I am..." She took a breath, "No matter how hard I try, I always end up at the end of their wand."

"That's not true Trix, you don't deserve any of it, it's horrible and cruel. It's not for your own good, that's mental!" Rita exclaimed,

"Don't say that!" Bellatrix fired defensively, "It's for my own good, it needs to happen!" She said, her eyes were wild, she looked genuinely ready to defend her family's actions with her whole heart,

"Trix..." Rita started,

"No. No. You just don't understand."

Rita sighed in defeat, this wasn't an argument she was going to win, and she knew that. She stared at her best friend, the love of her life, the girl she would never be able to be with, and all she felt was helplessness. Rita was helpless against Bellatrix's delusions, she couldn't protect her or make her see reason, and she knew that pushing would only drive Bellatrix away.

Chapter Text

October 21st, 1964

Since the mini argument Rita and Bellatrix had the other day, Bellatrix had been distant. She was upset and so was Rita.

The girls didn't say much to each other, despite not being outright hostile, it showed that there was a riff in the relationship.

They happened to have field studies that day, it was one of Bellatrix's favorite classes because she enjoyed casting spells in real life situations.

Today the class was going into the forbidden forest to practice tracking spells and charms, obviously Rita and Bellatrix were partners.

After a brief explanation from Professor Lomin the girls set off after the object they were assigned to track.

It was cool outside but it had rained the day before so the ground was still damp. Bellatrix pulled out the compass they had been given.

"Ok, right now we're heading north," Bellatrix said to herself,

"Why can't we just accio the object?" Rita asked, her head was down as she tried to avoid stepping in mud,

"Because we don't know exactly what we're looking for," Bellatrix replied, "And it's against the rules."

Rita groaned, "How are we supposed to find something when we don't know what we're looking for?"

Bellatrix swallowed a snarky remark, "Everything leaves a trace Rita, especially magic."

The girls walked on for another minute when Bellatrix stopped, "Revelio,"

Sure enough, a faint trail of gold magic appeared, Bellatrix and Rita began to follow the trace.

They followed the shimmer for five minutes before Rita realized they were going in circles.

"We just made a circle Trix,"

"Impossible."

"You're not always right you know?" Rita snapped, She was tired of Bellatrix thinking she knew everything all the time,

Bellatrix turned to Rita, a look of confusion and anger on her face, Rita huffed,

"You're not perfect, no matter how much you think you are. You have flaws, your whole family has flaws."

"Don't." Bellatrix whipped around to face Rita, "Don't ever, speak about my family." She snarled,

"Merlin, they really screwed you up." Rita muttered, she knew it was a low blow, but honestly she just needed a reaction. Bellatrix raised her wand and pointed it at Rita's chest, "What are you gonna do Trix? Hex me? The way you hex everyone? You realize no one actually likes you, they're just scared of you."

Bellatrix's teeth were clenched so hard she was surprised she didn't break a tooth, her cheeks grew red and her breathing picked up. Blood rushed in her ears and had she been anyone else, tears would have welled in her eyes,

"Shut up." Bellatrix said menacingly,

"God, you're just a bully." Rita said, "I don't know why I ever liked you."

Bellatrix's anger dissipated into hurt though her expression remained the same, "You don't mean that," She said, her voice was growing hoarse,

"Trust me, I do."

*******

October 30th, 1964

Bellatrix hadn't spoken to Rita since their argument, and she didn't want to. Rita had promised she would never not like Bella, yet here they were.

Since the incident Bellatrix was more on edge than usual, any interaction with other students usually ended with them in the hospital wing,

It was bad, Bella had year sevens avoiding her in the halls as she cast jinxes hexes and curses that were nearly impossible to master. All her rage and hurt faced outwards and god help anyone who got in the way of the force that was Bellatrix Black.

"Bella?"

Bellatrix turned sharply at the name, ready to curse whoever dared interrupt her as she sat in the library working on a charms essay,

Narcissa recoiled at the murderous glint in her sister's eyes,

"Sorry, if this is a bad time I can go-" She stumbled over her words, Bella's face fell and she put her wand down,

"No," She said "No it's alright, I thought you were someone else." Truth was, she wanted Rita to stay far away, but she also wished Rita would give her a reason to curse her, though deep down Bellatrix knew she never would take the opportunity.

Narcissa shifted from one foot to the other as Bellatrix put down her quill and rolled up the essay. Finally she turned her attention to Narcissa.

"What's the matter?" Bellatrix asked, Narcissa let out a breath, unsure where to start, "Sit," her sister commanded,

Narcissa pulled out the chair beside Bella and sat down, she looked down at her hands as Bellatrix looked at her expectantly,

"Well?" Bellatrix prompted, she tried to conceal the impatience in her voice and failed,

"It's stupid, I'm sorry-" Narcissa started, she looked at Bellatrix, "It's just, I wanted to ask how you were doing..." she cringed at her own words, Bellatrix raised an eyebrow,

"I'm fine." Bellatrix said testily, "Why?"

"Well, you and Rita were really good friends and now..." She trailed off, "If you wanted to talk... I guess that is all."

Bellatrix's first instinct was to shoot down her sister's concerns, then again she didn't want to hurt Narcissa, "I'm fine, I don't need her, never rely on another person Cissa," There was a bite to her tone, she was lying, she wasn't fine and she did need Rita. "Besides, it's not like you could relate,"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Narcissa asked defensively,

"Nothing, just..." Bellatrix closed her eyes and took a breath, "If there were a... problem, and I was upset about R- the situation..." Bellatrix trailed off,

"No, finish what you're trying to say." Narcissa said, there was an edge to her voice Bellatrix had never heard,

"Just, you have so many friends, you're flanked by people Cissa. It's a good thing, I'm just saying that I'm not like that." She said.

Narcissa constantly had people surrounding her, everyone wanted to be her friend, she had no enemies, between the fact she was sweet as sugar and her sister was fucking terrifying. While she did have an entourage, she didn't actually have friends, she didn't have anyone besides her sisters to confide in and they both seemed occupied all the time.

"It's not always what it seems Bella, you of all people should know that." Cissa said, it was a jab at their family,

"Don't speak of that." Bellatrix hissed in a low voice, she looked around to make sure no one was around. Narcissa dropped her head,

"Sorry,"

Bellatrix loosed a breath,

"I just don't understand why we can't tell anyone! I mean how different can it be from-"

"Stop!" Bellatrix half shouted, she grabbed Narcissa's wrist, her nails dug in and her sister winced, Bellatrix didn't care, "We just don't. Alright?" Bellatrix said, it wasn't a question but she waited for confirmation from Narcissa anyway.

"Right.." Narcissa said quietly.

**** ANDROMEDA *****

November 3rd, 1964
Andromeda sat in potions class, her desk partner was a Hufflepuff, if her sister knew she'd freak out, but Bellatrix didn't know. Bellatrix didn't know anything about Andromeda, and she didn't really seem to care. Andromeda watched day by day as Narcissa wasted away with a fake smile plastered across her face to satisfy those around her. She watched as Bellatrix ignored this and as she herself wasted away alone with a mask of anger to keep everyone at bay.

Andromeda didn't like Rita, but she had to admit, she was good for Bellatrix.

"Andromeda?"

Andromeda snapped out of her thoughts, she usually spent most of her time in her own world much to the disapproval of her parents and professors as her grades suffered from it.

"Sorry.." She muttered looking down, Slughorn sighed,

"Did you hear me?" He asked,

"No sir." She said,

"I was telling the class about the assignment, one that will be half of your grade for this semester so I advise you to do well and avoid your grade dropping further." He said, "Who can inform Miss Black of what I just said?"

The class snickered, Andromeda flushed, beside her the boy shot her an apologetic glance,

"Miss Greengrass?"

Heather Greengrass sat across the room with a smug look on her face, "Professor Slughorn was saying that we are to brew Aliqua Potio with our desk partners." She said, Heather seemed to have it in for Andromeda for some reason. She went out of her way to embarrass her, most people hated Andromeda quietly because they were scared of Bellatrix, but Heather seemed to have figured out that Bellatrix couldn't care less or just didn't notice. (Bellatrix did care, but she never saw these things and Andromeda never told her.)

"And what is Aliqua Potio?" Slughorn asked,

"It's a potion-" Andromeda started but Heather interrupted,

"Well done Andromeda, it is in fact a potion as this is potions class." She drawled, everyone laughed,

"Shut up Heather." The boy beside Andromeda said, Heather's face grew almost as red as Andromeda's, before she could respond Slughorn intervened,

"Mr. Tonks, you've just earned yourself a detention." Slughorn said, the boy hung his head,

"That's not fair!" Andromeda burst. "He didn't do anything besides defend me! And besides, Heather started it!" She said outraged,

"Detention for you as well Miss Black, you should know better. Perhaps you should take lessons from your sister." Slughorn said, Andromeda was about to argue further but the boy beside her laid a land on her arm to stop her.

Reluctantly Andromeda backed down. She didn't even know the boy's name and he had defended her and got detention.

"Now, Aliqua is a draught that enhances plant growth. It takes weeks to brew and is very fickle and precise." Slughorn continued giving instructions.

"Sorry," Andromeda whispered to the boy beside her,

"For what?" He asked, a smile on his face,

"For getting you in trouble." She answered, his grin broadened,

"I did it myself." He said playfully, "I'm Ted by the way."

"I knew your name." Andromeda lied,

"No you didn't, but that's alright." He said, Andromeda looked down sheepishly, maybe she finally had a friend.

****BELLATRIX *****

November 5th, 1964,

"Oh shut it Trix!" Rita yelled, the two were in the midst of another argument after Rita released an article that took a jab at Bellatrix. The two stood in their dorm so no one else heard, "Not everything is about you!"

"Oh really?" Bellatrix said sarcastically, "Because I don't see how this wasn't about me!" She threw the article at Rita, "I mean, 'Josephine Webbner was caught in the forbidden forest, professors reprimand her for putting her safety at risk though the forest can't possibly hold anything half as terrifying as Bellatrix Black.' How is that not about me!"

"It was a JOKE! I know you're unfamiliar with the term Trix but Merlin!" Rita said, Bellatrix's nails cut into her palms hard enough to draw blood.

"You do something like that again," Bellatrix said in a low tone, she stepped closer to Rita, her breath fanning Rita's face, "I swear I'll show you just how terrifying I can be." She threatened, Rita rolled her eyes,

"Sure Trix. You can pretend to be mad at me all you want, but you still wear that necklace and you've yet to hurt me no matter how many times you threaten to do so." Rita said,

"Try me." Bellatrix snarled, Rita just pushed passed her and left.

Bellatrix stomped her foot in frustration before picking up a book and hurling it at the wall.

Chapter Text

November 13th, 1964

Despite Bellatrix's rage, Rita had been correct the other day in saying that Bellatrix was just pretending to hate her. They both knew it and as Bella's anger simmered a deep sadness and longing set it.

Bellatrix found herself pacing the grounds where she once walked with Rita and talked about nothing yet everything at the same time. She found herself staring after Rita as she laughed with her other friends, the ones that they once shared. She found herself despising the boys who Rita spoke to on occasion, she hated the way they looked at her and the way she looked at them. Bellatrix tried to tune out Rita's conversations with her friends as she ranted about who she had a crush on but she couldn't help it.

Rita noticed as well, that was why she did it, she enjoyed watching out of the corner of her eye as Bellatrix pressed her lips into a fine line and clenched her fists. She liked the rise she could get out of Bellatrix, maybe it was sadistic, but if that was the case then Bellatrix was a willing masochist as she continued to watch what hurt her.

If Bellatrix hadn't been so absorbed in Rita she would've had her own fun messing with her ex-friend.

Bellatrix spent her time in solitude, the only person she was ever with was Narcissa when she joined Bella and still, they didn't speak much.

The two sisters were walking the halls to get back to their common room from the library when a girl in Narcissa's year turned the corner and ran straight into Narcissa. She fell with the girl on top of her.

She had chin length light brown hair and hazel eyes. The girl's eyes widened as she realized what had happened and she scrambled to get off Cissa,

"I'm so sorry!" She said as she extended her hand to help Narcissa up, Cissa glared at the hand and stood up on her own, Bellatrix was still shocked at what had just happened,

"Who are you?" Bellatrix asked, there was no kindness in her voice, the girl swallowed bracing herself for being cursed,

"Alice." She said quietly,

"Alice who?" Bellatrix snapped,

"Fortescue" She mumbled,

"Why are you running, and not looking where you're headed?" Bellatrix asked, it was an accusation as much as a question, Narcissa began to feel bad for the girl as Bellatrix grilled her,

"Bella, it's fine. I'm okay, just let her go." Narcissa said, Alice looked up at at Narcissa with something like gratitude in her eyes,

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes but lowered her wand, "Get out of here." She said coldly, "And don't run."

Alice nodded and hurried off at a speed walk.

Bellatrix scoffed, "You know her?"

"No," Narcissa answered, "Well, I've seen her, she's in a few of my classes, but I don't know her."

"Good." Bellatrix sneered,

***ANDROMEDA***

Her detention with Ted was today, they were to clean the potions classroom together, Slughorn left after five minutes and told them he would be back in an hour when their punishment was over.

After that potions class Andromeda had seen Ted nearly every day to work on their project and devise a schedule since it had to be checked on and stirred once a day.

Ted was working on sweeping as Andromeda cleaned the various cauldrons not being used for other people's potions.

"What's your favorite color?" Ted asked

"Why?"

He shrugged "Curiosity"

"Green. Yours?"

"Orange, like a sunset"

They continued talking, well Ted would ask a question and Andy would answer.

After thirty minutes they had really opened up, Ted was telling Andromeda the story of when he got his Hogwarts letter and how his parents thought he was lying and that it didn't exist. Andromeda laughed as he told her how it took Dumbledore coming to his house for his parents to be convinced wizards were real.

Part of Andromeda protested it was wrong to talk to him considering he was a muggle born, but Andromeda just didn't care that much, she smiled at the face of Bellatrix and her parents if they found out.

***

After detention was over Ted offered to walk Andromeda back to her common room but she refused knowing there was a good chance she'd run into her sister.

"Well, wanna meet in the library tomorrow?" He asked,

"Why? we don't have anything to work on." Andromeda asked, Ted gave her a confused look,

"I mean just to hang out. Like for fun." He said,

Andromeda processed the words, she found it hard to believe anyone wanted to hang out with her.

"You don't have to." She said,

"I know. I want to, please? We had fun." He said earnestly, Andromeda weighed her options and finally decided,

"What time?"

"Noon?"

"Alright."

Ted smiled and the two said goodnight before going their separate ways.

Andromeda smiled to herself and pushed down the guilty feelings that she was betraying her family. They had never cared for her, not like Ted did, who cared what they thought.

****BELLATRIX*****

November 20th, 1964

Bellatrix had a quidditch match against Gryffindor , the team sat in the locker room talking strategy. It was cold outside and raining but the match was still going to happen. Bellatrix wasn't really paying attention as Sebastian went over strategy. They would crush Gryffindor again.

The whole school was in the stands, the professors had put up magical barriers to keep everyone dry. As the teams walked onto the pitch Bellatrix's uniform immediately soaked. Her hair was in a low pony tail instead of the usual braids because Rita was the one who would braid.

Bellatrix watched as Rudolphus tried to wipe the rain off his face while new droplets fell in place of the old ones. She hadn't thought much about her engagement to him, while at one point he scorned her and the engagement, now he seemed to have moved past it. Bellatrix was a good player, and Rudolphus respected it, and she had made him respect her.

Narcissa sat in the stands cheering loudly, next year she would be on the team as well. Rita sat in the stands as well, she tried her hardest not to be affected by Bellatrix as she took her position on the broom and shot into the air after the snitch.

Andromeda was no where to be found, she sat nice and warm in the castle laughing and running around with Ted.

Bellatrix scanned the pitch, Slytherin had already scored because of Rudolphus. She looked for any sign of the snitch, but since she usually relied on the sun to reflect the light she was having trouble. It was already dark with the storm clouds and the torrential downpour made it worse. Her hair weighed a ton since it was waterlogged, stray curls stuck to her face as raindrops pelted her head.

Bellatrix abandoned flying low and rose against the wind to get a better view. Above the pitch the wind was so strong she had to fight to keep her broom from drifting, it was also way colder. Bellatrix shivered, the combination of rain and cold making it hard for her to think.

She couldn't even see the Gryffindor seeker, if he went for the snitch she wouldn't know till the game was over.

*****

Slytherin was crushing Gryffindor, the score was like 100 to 10 and the beaters kept knocking the Gryffindors off course.

Bellatrix caught sight of the snitch as it zipped upwards, she shot after it as it climbed higher. The wind blew Bellatrix to the side making it extra hard for her to keep after the golden ball.

Soon Bellatrix was above the clouds, it was cold and she was short of breath from the lack of oxygen so high up but she continued to chase the snitch through clouds. Mist coated her face as she flew out of the cloud she followed the snitch into.

She sped up, the snitch was in reach, she let go of her broom with one hand and lunged for the snitch. She grasped the cool metal in her hand, she had a hold on it and heard the whistle blow below signifying the end of the game. She smiled and went into a dive to get out of the clouds.

She broke through and the Slytherin section was cheering as she held up the snitch.

*****

After the game there was a party in the Slytherin common room. Bellatrix stood on the side as students danced to loud music, there were a few smoking fags and more drinking firewhiskey. All the first and second years had been herded out by then.

Bellatrix turned away from the part and sat looking out the window.

"Hey," A voice said, Bellatrix turned, Rudolphus stood in front of her a cig in his hand, he still wore his quidditch uniform that was still a little damp,

"Hello." Bellatrix answered,

"Can I sit?" He asked, Bellatrix motioned for him to go ahead. He took a drag of the cig and offered it to her but she shook her head. "Suit yourself" He said taking another drag,

They sat in silence for a while before Rudolphus spoke again "Sorry I was an ass to you."

"It's fine, I don't care." Bellatrix said, she honestly couldn't care less about him, he was just a tool for her and her family, an alliance waiting to happen.

"Well, we're to be married. I was just mad about the whole thing." He said motioning with his hand before taking another drag,

Bellatrix cocked her head and looked at him, he was handsome, Bellatrix should like him, should be attracted to him, most girls were, but she couldn't feel anything other than indifference towards him,

"Am I really that bad?" She joke, Rudolphus let out a breathy laugh,

"I just, there was another girl." He said,

"I really don't care, it's just marriage, it doesn't mean anything. Be with that girl if you want." Bellatrix said, she always knew she'd have no say in who she married and she had come to terms with it.

"It's not weird for you?" Rudolphus asked,

"No," Bellatrix answered,

"Not even the age difference?" He asked,

"It's three years, calm down."

"I mean it matters now."

"Well we aren't getting married now are we?"

"Fair."

After that the conversation died and he left.

Rita had watched the interaction from afar with anger burning through her veins, she was too far to hear anything, but she saw the way Rudolphus got close to Bellatrix, to the way he examined her when her focus was elsewhere, at least that's how it appeared to her. Rita missed the days her and Bellatrix would spend together, the nights as well, when they would just lie face to face, sharing the same air, whispered secrets interchanging between them, now it was gone and she wanted it back.

****
November 30th, 1964

Rita had made a point to try and hate Trix, but it was hard. She couldn't really truly hate the only girl she's ever been friends with and the only person she'd ever love. Still, loathing and longing go hand in hand. She found her hate disappearing after the first week of her resolution and watched as it shifted into grief and longing.

She watched Bellatrix whenever she wasn't already staring at Rita. Their glances never met, but the second one looked away the other looked back. They really thought no one noticed, but everyone could tell. There was only time until Rita and Bella crashed into each other again because they were an inseparable force.

Bellatrix walked down the hallway alone, it was dark, classes had been done for the day for hours. It was nearly curfew but she just needed to be alone for a moment, truly alone.

The castle felt empty, not in a bad way, just peaceful. It was wildly different from her house, there paintings of dead relatives loomed over her and watched her every move, there her parents worked in silence able to sneak up on her at any time, no it was not her house, it was theirs, it would always be theirs.

Bellatrix knew memories of her first christmas home from Hogwarts would haunt that place forever, Orion and what he did would haunt those walls forever, but here, here there were no ghosts, here she could live freely, as freely as she would ever be allowed anyway.

The only sounds accompanying her thoughts were her own light footsteps and shallow breaths. And of she thought, she thought of her sisters, Andromeda who seemed to disappear at will, Narcissa who was as beautiful as the flower and myth she was named for, She thought of her cousins, Sirius who always was in more trouble than he would handle, Sirius who Bellatrix gazed upon with distaste each time he spoke out which was often, Sirius who protected Regulus from everyone even though it hurt himself, Sirius who was just a little too similar to Bellatrix for his own well being. And Regulus, little Regulus. He was so quiet, so still, sometimes Bellatrix wondered if he was still breathing because he could sit without moving for so long. Regulus who clung to Narcissa's heels and in turn, Bellatrix's.

While her family occupied the foreront of her mind, it was a certain Blonde who took up most of Bellatrix's musings. Rita Skeeter, the girl who had once been Bellatrix's greatest comfort, her best friend, the girl who was now the object of Bellatrix's anger and the cause of her sadness. Whether she hated Rita or hated that Rita had left her she couldn't decide, but she knew that under that hate was something more, something deeper that no one could ever understand.

Bellatrix was broken from her thoughts by the sound of footsteps echoing behind her, she steadied her breath and continued as if it was nothing, as if she hadn't noticed. She drew her wand, just in case and continued, she turned the corner and stopped, so did the steps behind her. She was being followed,

"Lumos," A light shone from her wand, she prepared to turn the corner and confront the person. They were still there, she hadn't heard any retreating steps, she braced herself against the wall, and then stepped out,

"Who-" She began to ask when she realized who it was. "Rita?" She exclaimed breathless,

Rita's expression was soft, her anger about the arguments with Bellatrix was gone, and she was done pretending it was still there, that she could ever do anything but love this beautiful girl in-front of her. She was done with all of the denials and waiting and if Bellatrix didn't feel the same so be it, she had to tell her though.

They were still just two children face to face, their hearts beating fast for the same reasons that were yet so different. Both of them too young to know anything about love, all they knew was what they were told and that would doom them, it was a curse they both were to bear until their last breaths. Rita's breath caught, she couldn't do it, wouldn't do it, but maybe having part of Bellatrix was better than none, even if it was just as a friend.

"I miss you," Rita said, Bellatrix blinked in surprise.

Chapter Text

November 30th, 1962,

"I missed you," Rita repeated, "I don't-" Her voice caught and tears welled in her eyes at the words that would go unsaid, the confessions saved for another day, she swallowed and tried again. "I don't want to fight, I miss you, I miss our friendship. And I'm sorry, I don't want you to hate me."

Bellatrix's face was contorted in confusion, "I never hated you Rita." She said softly, "I only hated what you made me feel,"

Rita was surprised by this, maybe she had been wrong, maybe Bellatrix could see past the things her family shoved down her throat, maybe she could see that it was possible for them to love each other as more than friends, maybe not now, not when they were so young, but later.

"What do I make you feel?" Rita asked, she was pushing the line, trying to feel it out, trying to see if her hopes had any basis,

"You make me so angry," Bellatrix said, her voice breaking, "It's so hard to breathe because I'm so mad at you for doing this, for leaving me."

"I never wanted to leave you Trix, you pushed me away, you opened up and then pushed me out." Rita said,

"I had to," Bellatrix said, tears welled in her eyes, she wondered if she would cry, she wondered if she should, "I had to, you- you said that my family, my parents were wrong. I can't- I can't be friends with someone who opposes them."

Rita's face fell, the roots of her family were in too deep, they wound around Bellatrix's mind, around her heart, they caged her in. Still Rita wouldn't give up on Bellatrix. "Why not?" She pleaded,

"Because, I- They are just doing what's right for me, I need you to understand that." Bellatrix said, she was pleading just as much, she needed Rita to let her win this, she needed Rita to be okay with her family and their ways, not because she couldn't be friends with Rita if she didn't, but because she didn't think she could force herself away, she knew she would follow Rita, always, even if it took some time.

"Okay," Rita said softly, tears fell from Bellatrix's eyes, it broke her heart, she couldn't fix Bellatrix's loyalty to her family, she accepted it, Bellatrix would always pick them over her, that's what Rita thought. Maybe she would try again another time.

*****

December 1st, 1964

Bellatrix sent Jupiter to her family the second she woke up requesting Rita come to the ball, she even pushed a little in requesting Rita could stay with them for the break, it was a lot to ask, but Bellatrix figured she would get part of it if she asked for more.

She hadn't gotten Rita a present, hopefully her parents would agree and that would be present enough.

The girls spent the night talking in Bellatrix's bed, the argument resolved at last. When Bellatrix finally drifted to sleep Rita watched her for a while, content to finally have her back, content to keep her love for Bellatrix to herself if it meant getting to keep this part.

At breakfast some looked surprised to see Rita and Bellatrix back on good terms, still no one said anything. There was relief among most who figured Bellatrix would be less temperamental with Rita. The only people who seemed upset at this sight were Narcissa and Andromeda. The latter, whom upon witnessing their sister with Rita back at her side, immediately sought out Narcissa to talk about it.

****NARCISSA****

Andromeda approached her after breakfast, Andromeda's look of concern mirrored her own.

"Did you see Rita and Bellatrix?" She asked, Narcissa nodded stiffly,

"I don't like it." Cissa said,

"Me neither, I meant, it's like when they're together no one else matters, and not in a sweet way." Andromeda said,

"I know, plus when Rita leaves Bellatrix it's a mess, when she leaves again we'll have to clean it all up." Narcissa added,

They both shared concern for their sister, the one who had always protected them even when they didn't notice. In Bellatrix's own way she protected them, each time she was made to punish them, it was softer than anything her parents would do, not because she wasn't as capable, but because she wanted to save them, maybe if they didn't get the full thing their minds wouldn't be as broken as her own.

*****BELLATRIX*****

The reply came that evening. As Bellatrix and Rita layed in bed talking, well Rita was talking as Bellatrix wrote her potions essay, when Jupiter flew in and landed on Bellatrix's leg with a scroll tied to her leg.

"I didn't know you sent a letter," Rita said,

"I didn't want to get your hopes up until I knew,"

"About what?"

"I asked my parents if you could come to Christmas this year, and if you could stay for the break," Bellatrix untied the letter from Jupiter and scratched the owl's head, she chirped contently and flew off, probably back to the owlery.

"You think they'll say yes?" Rita asked excitedly,

"I have no clue honestly," Bellatrix had the scroll in her hands, she was nervous to open it,

"Want me to read it?" Rita asked,

"Please." Bellatrix said, handing the letter to Rita,

"Bellatrix,

You and your sisters are doing satisfactory at Hogwarts, I expected Andromeda's grades to rise, and they have. As to your request, Rita may come to the ball. I would like to meet with her parents more formally, perhaps when we come to retrieve you from the station we can bring her parents to the manor for a discussion, and then perhaps during the summer she may visit.

-Cygnus and Druella Black" Rita handed the letter back to Bellatrix after reading it, a broad smile on her face as Bellatrix re-read the letter herself to make sure it was real.

Finally Bellatrix smiled, it was the best she had hoped for,

"Should I go write to my parents?" Rita asked,

"Yes. Immediately" Bellatrix said, she was ecstatic, she pushed the first christmas to the back of her mind, it would be different this time, she would be sure of it. Plus the thought that she might have Rita at her house during the summer was enough that the rewards merited the risks.

Rita got up summoned her quill and parchment and began to write,

"Rita?" Bellatrix asked,

"Hm?" Rita answered, still writing,

"Happy birthday."

Rita looked up from her letter and smiled, "You're incredible."

*****

December 5th, 1964

It had been a few days and Rita's parents still hadn't written back.

The girls sat in the great hall for breakfast when the post came in and Saturn returned with a letter from Rita's parents. The girls eagerly opened it.

* Dear Rita,

We would be thrilled to formally meet your friend's parents!

Love mum and dad*

Bellatrix's heart broke at the letter, not because it was bad news, but because of how much love it was written with, all of it contrasted Bellatrix's parents yet Rita's parents were still good people, they were still pure but they didn't have to be cold and they weren't. Silently Bellatrix knew Rita would never understand, she just couldn't.

She didn't want Rita to understand, for her family to be like Bellatrix's, but she knew she was alone, the only ones who would get it were those raised within it.

*****ANDROMEDA******

Andromeda had been spending less and less time in the Slytherin common room, she was always in the library or some other part of the castle with her new friend Ted Tonks.

Their project was almost completed and Andromeda dreaded when it would be because then Ted would leave her.

The two sat in a meadow Ted had found, it was far away from the Black lake which Andromeda hated being around, especially with Ted, especially with the risk of her sister and her friends being there.

"Would you want to meet my other friends?" He asked, they had been watching the little ants and other bugs in the flowers and tall grass. Andromeda stilled,

"Why?" She asked cautiously, he shrugged,

"I think you'd like them, and they like you from what I've told them."

"You talked about me?" Andromeda asked, alarm rising in her voice, she wasn't doing anything wrong by being friends with Ted, but if Bellatrix found out... "What did you tell them? Who did you tell?" She was sitting up now, Ted realized he had upset her,

"I- sorry, I just thought..." He started, "It wasn't anything bad and it was just a couple people," Concern coated his face, "I don't really see the problem,"

"No, of course you don't." Andromeda said, Ted recoiled,

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked,

"Just, you don't get my family-" Andromeda started,

"What you're ashamed to be friends with me? Because what, I'm a Hufflepuff?" Ted looked hurt,

"No! Of course not," Andromeda said, "I mean being a Hufflepuff doesn't matter to me, but it doesn't help the... rest of your... situation." She danced around calling out his blood status but Ted knew what she meant, he had been at Hogwarts long enough that people had given him crap for it.

"Because I'm a muggleborn." He said, realization dawning on his face, "Or as you'd prefer mudblood." He spit out the word like it tasted bad.

Andromeda looked down, "It's not me, I don't care." She said, he looked at her incredulously, "Honest I don't, it's my family."

"Right, and because I tell a few people we hung out that means your family would know?" He asked, oblivious to who exactly her family was, "And even if they did how bad would it really be, what they disapprove and that's that?"

"I have sisters you know." Andromeda said,

"They can't be that bad."

"Narcissa isn't, Bellatrix is."

Ted froze, he had run into Bellatrix in the hall once, it hadn't ended well.

"She's your sister?" He asked,

"It's not like I chose my family."

"No you just refuse to go against them."

"It's not that simple."

"Well then explain it to me Andy," He pleaded,

Andromeda took a breath,

"ANDROMEDA!" A voice rang out, Andromeda stood up, Narcissa stood at the other end of the field,

"I'm sorry, I have to go," She said to Ted,

"Wait,"

"ANDROMEDA!" Narcissa called again,

"I'll find you later, I promise."

With that she left Ted in the field,

"Who's that?" Narcissa asked when Andromeda joined her, Andromeda looked back,

"No one," She answered, "Now what?"

"Bellatrix wanted me to get you."

*******NARCISSA*****

Narcissa returned with Andromeda to the common room where Bellatrix was waiting, she seemed on edge. When she spotted her sisters she stood up and walked over,

"Come, let's go to my dorm." She said,

When they entered Rita was sitting on Bellatrix's bed working on some assignment,

"What is she doing here?" Andromeda asked, an edge to her voice,

"She lives here." Bellatrix sneered, "Be nice,"

Rita pretended not to hear having learned her lesson about getting involved with Bellatrix's family.

Narcissa shared a similar sentiment pertaining to Rita, but she never would speak out against Bellatrix or anyone she deemed worthy of protection, at least not to her face.

"Now, I wanted to talk to you both about Christmas." Bellatrix said, "Rita is coming this year, and when we get to the station her parents will accompany us back home so mother and father can speak with them."

Andromeda looked displeased that Rita would again be joining for Christmas, Narcissa schooled her face to betray nothing, a skill she quickly learned when both her sisters had left, leaving her the sole object of their parents' attention.

"The hope is that during the summer she would be permitted to stay with us for a little and maybe even next holiday. And hopefully in the future I would be allowed to spend time at her home." Bellatrix said,

Andromeda looked ready to interrupt but Bellatrix shot her a glare, "Now, I need you both to be perfect, absolutely perfect. I know the concept may be foreign to you Andromeda, but I need you to try." Her voice was almost pleading despite her cruel words. "Understood?"

Narcissa could see how much this meant to Bellatrix, and while she hated the idea that Bellatrix would be with Rita for any amount of time, and hated the thought of her leaving home to stay with Rita, she knew it would make Bellatrix happy. Bellatrix spent so much time protecting her and Andy and Reg and Sirius without any thanks, sometimes it felt like she was the only one who noticed Bellatrix's care, and even more so how Bellatrix seemed to be slipping away more and more.

"Understood." Narcissa said, she looked to Andromeda,

Andromeda sighed, "Fine." She said rolling her eyes, Bellatrix let out a breath.

Narcissa noticed, she noticed the way Bellatrix would always leave the office of their father long after she and Andromeda had been dismissed, how she would return weaker yet always come to the drawing room to care for Narcissa and Andromeda, she noticed the tear streaks that were left on her face. Even if Bellatrix never let them see her cry or hear her scream, Narcissa knew when her eyes were red and her voice was hoarse. Narcissa knew.

She hated Rita, but she seemed to be one of the few people who made Bellatrix smile, so for her she would accept it.

Chapter Text

December 7th, 1964

It seemed like everyone was intentionally trying to get on Bellatrix's bad side in the days leading up to break. Maybe they were, but most likely Bellatrix's fuse was cut extra short due to stress.

Rita continued to write articles that spread drama around the campus and Bellatrix hexed anyone who so much as spoke to her.

Between the two of them, students were kept on their toes. Rita tormented them anonymously with words and rumors, Bellatrix tormented them upfront with curses and jinxes that sent kids to the nurse.

"Engorgio skullus!" Bellatrix pointed her wand at some Gryffindor who had dared to insult her. He was older but clearly not as good as Bellatrix. His head immediately swelled, "Run away," Bellatrix taunted, the boy turned and headed for the nurse's office while Bellatrix hexed him again from behind. "Impedimenta," She whispered and the boy began running in slow motion, Bellatrix smiled and giggled to herself.

"Trix..." A voice from behind her, Bellatrix turned to find Rita staring at her with a disapproving look on her face.

"Oh cmon! It was funny!" Bellatrix said, Rita rolled her eyes, "I could have done way worse for what he said, that was me being nice."

"What did he say?"

"He called me crazy, to my face no less."

Rita huffed out a breath, "That's not even brave, it's just bloody stupid." She said,

"I know right!" Bellatrix answered,

The girls began to walk back to their dorm still talking about the student Bellatrix cursed. When they entered their common room they noticed a new flyer on the board. Students were flocked around it but when Bellatrix started to approach a path cleared for her. Bellatrix looked at the flyer before retreating back to Rita.

"What did it say?" Rita asked,

"Hogsmeade visit on the 13th." Bellatrix answered as they climbed the stairs to their dorm.

"Do you wanna go?" Rita asked, Bellatrix hadn't yet been on any school excursions to hogsmeade unless you counted the time she snuck out to get Rita a present in first year.

"Sure, why not." Bellatrix answered as she opened the door to their dorm. She didn't really care about the visit, but it could be fun with Rita.

Just as the girls were taking off their winter cloaks Jupiter flew in the window carrying a package that looked like it was about to bring her down.

Rita rushed over to relieve her owl from carrying the thing, Bellatrix continued to shake the snow off her cloak. Across the room Rita squealed, Bellatrix turned around,

"What? What is it?" She asked a little alarmed, Rita turned around and held out a chess set. "Oh, merlin I thought someone sent you a finger or something," Bellatrix said, Rita didn't seem to hear,

"It's wizard chess!" She exclaimed,

"Yea I can see that," Bellatrix said,

"I've always wanted to learn to play and my parents were always so busy but they finally bought me a set so now I can teach myself!" She began to set up the board and Bellatrix walked over,

"You never learned?" Bellatrix questioned,

"Nope," Rita answered still setting up the pieces,

"Do you want me to teach you?" Bellatrix asked,

"Can you?" Rita asked hopefully as she looked up to Bella,

"I wouldn't offer if I couldn't." Bellatrix said, Rita's smile grew even wider as she embraced Bellatrix in a tight hug.

"Ok, lesson one, try not to knock the pieces off the board." Bellatrix said when Rita let go,

"Right." Rita said, she began to re-set up the pieces she made fall.

Bellatrix began to explain how each piece moves and the rules of the game, along with the exceptions.

"Wait, so the kind can only move one space at a time right?" Rita asked,

"Yes, well except when castling." Bellatrix explained,

"Wait, what is that again?"

"When the king moves two squares over and the rook moves to the other side of the king."

"Right..."

Soon they started their first game.

"King, castle!" Rita ordered when Bellatrix had put her in check,

"You can't castle when you're in check." Bellatrix said,

"You never told me that!" Rita complained,

"Well there are a lot rules that are just easier to explain as we go along."

"This hurts my head,"

"It's called thinking, get used to it."

Three games later, Bellatrix had won them all though she did give Rita a chance and tried to drag it out as long as she could to teach Rita who was slowly, very slowly, getting better.

"Checkmate." Bellatrix said,

"This is so unfair." Rita complained as her king was beheaded by Bellatrix's knight for the 4th time in a row,

"You'll get better, you just have to think ahead. Plus now you know all the rules so you can put your focus on strategy." Bellatrix said,

"Can we stop for today?" Rita asked,

"Sure," Bellatrix answered, just then Alecto and Eliza walked in,

"OOOO Are you playing wizard chess?" Eliza asked, she bounded over,

"Yea," Bellatrix answered,

"Trix is teaching me." Rita said,

"I always like watching matches but I can't actually play, I mean I learned how but I suck at it." Eliza said,

Alecto joined her roomates, "Can I play you?" She asked Bellatrix,

"Sure. Rita do you mind if we use your board?" Bellatrix asked, it had been a while since she played anyone other than family.

"Go for it." Rita answered,

"You should watch, it will help you learn." Alecto said,

Bellatrix set up the pieces again, "Want me to go easy?" She asked,

"Not at all." Alecto answered.

"Your funeral." Bellatrix muttered

within 8 moves Bellatrix had already put Alecto in checkmate.

"Damn," Alecto muttered,

"You left a gap in your defense, and I distracted you with my rook while exploiting that weakness." Bellatrix explained,

"It didn't take you nearly that long to beat me." Rita said,

"I was dragging it out to teach you." Bellatrix said, Rita groaned,

"Ill never beat you." She said,

"Probably not, the only person who still can is my Aunt Walburga." Bellatrix answered,

She still remembered the day she beat her father, she was 9, he aunt had begun teaching her before Sirius was born but after that she quit so Bellatrix asked he father to play her. He won the first few matches, but Bellatrix learned and within a week she had beaten him. She thought he would be proud, and he was, but he was also mad, but he was also mad when she lost, it had been confusing.

After that she taught Narcissa and Andromeda and she taught Sirius for Walburga who was going a little off the rails. She had planned to start teaching Regulus over the summer.

Her aunt had started to come back, at least a little now that Sirius and Regulus were older, but she still was different that she was before they were born and Bellatrix resented Sirius for it.

******

December 13th, 1964

Bellatrix and Rita walked to Hogsmeade with Alecto and Eliza. The ground was covered in snow and the girl's boots sunk into the icy powder with each step. The sun was out thankfully and it wasn't snowing.

When they reached the town they went to the three broomsticks and got a table. It was crowded and loud but warm, the bartender welcomed the girls and asked who Bellatrix was, Eliza introduced her.

They sat down and ordered three butterbeers and a tea for Bellatrix.

"Why don't you like butterbeer?" Rita asked after Bellatrix placed her order,

"It's too sweet," Bellatrix answered with a shrug, a tray flew over with their drinks.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you all!" Eliza said putting down her glass, "I'm meeting someone at 3!"

Bellatrix glanced at the clock, it was 2,

"Who?" Rita asked,

"His name is Alan Ridoc, he's a ravenclaw in 4th year." Eliza said, "It's a date."

"Oooo" Alecto teased, Eliza laughed,

"The one that looks like the guy from criminal wizards?" Rita asked,

"Mhm," Eliza said taking another sip of her drink, whipped cream coated her top lip.

"Do you like him?" Bellatrix asked,

"He's cute and a good kisser-"

Bellatrix choked on her tea and started coughing, Rita started hitting Bellatrix's back to help her.

"Sorry," Bellatrix said having finally caught her breath,

"Merlin, I'm surprised you didn't have a heart attack when you walked in on those girls in the astronomy tower." Eliza said playfully,

"I just didn't expect you to have- ya know." Bellatrix said,

"Prude," Alecto teased,

Bellatrix sighed and continued to sip her tea.

****

Later Rita and Bellatrix were walking around the town together. Eliza had went off to meet her date about ten minutes ago and Alecto had gone back to the castle right after claiming it was too cold.

Bellatrix enjoyed the frosty wind on her face.

Rita's green fur cloak contrasted with the snow and the sun reflected light off the fake gems she had stuck onto the seams for an extra flare.

Bellatrix looked like the grim reaper beside her in a long black cloak with her hood up.

They strolled idly along the path that was worn with boot tracks.

"What do you know about animaguses?" Rita asked,

"Uh, they are witches or wizards who have gone through the process with the ministry so they could be allowed to cast the spell. Their animagus form is always their patronus so most wizards master that spell first so they know if they really want to be that animal. I know it's a really complicated spell that requires a lot of time and stuff. Why?"

"Just curious." Rita answered, they walked on for a minute before she asked another question, "How old do you have to be?"

"17." Bellatrix answered, "Well legally anyway, but if anyone can do the spell if they're good enough I guess, you just don't have to register it with the ministry."

Rita considered what Bellatrix said, "Do you think I'm good enough to do the spell?"

"If you really worked at it yea, but do you even know your patronus?"

"No, but we're learning that after break in defense against the dark arts right?"

"I think we're doing boggarts and then patronuses." Bellatrix answered,

*****

December 16th, 1964

Bellatrix had already packed for home, she was a mess trying to instruct Rita on the rules of her family and she was so nervous about her parents meeting Rita's. It was so easy for everything to go wrong again.

Narcissa tried to comfort her but it was no use. Andromeda just ignored it and pretended her sister wasn't literally sending three students to the infirmary a week.

*****ANDROMEDA******

Since the project with Ted was over she had been avoiding him. After their fight she figured he didn't want to talk to her so she was surprised when he approached her in the library,

"Andy?"

She turned around, "Oh," She said at a loss for words, "Hi,"

"You've been avoiding me," he said,

"No, I-" She started but then saw the look on his face, "Well, yea I have been but only because I figured you were mad at me."

"I'm not mad." He said and it sounded genuine, "I just didn't really understand why you got so upset about me telling people we're friends, I thought you were ashamed,"

"I'm not, I don't care but my family is really strict." Andromeda said,

"Yea, I realized that." He said, "Anyway I just wanted to come and clear the air because I really like you as a friend."

"Me too." Andromeda said,

"So... We're okay?" He asked,

"Yea," Andromeda smiled and so did he,

"Well, if you still want to hang out with my friends we're sitting over there." He said, Andromeda hesitated, "You don't have to." He added,

"No, I want to." She said quickly,

"Great. I'll introduce you."

He brought her to a sunnier part of the library where 4 hufflepuffs were sitting at a table talking and eating chocolate, one of the girls noticed Ted and smiled,

"Hey!" She exclaimed, "I was wondering when you'd join us."

He smiled and brought Andromeda up to them, "Sorry, I had to grab something." He said, "Anyway, I want you all to meet Andromeda."

"Oh hey," One of the guys greeted her, he had blonde hair and green eyes, "I'm Owen and this is Chris," He said motioning to the other boy with red hair, "We're Ted's dormates."

"Nice to meet you," Andromeda said,

"Yea, you too." Chris said kindly,

"I'm April," The girl with short blonde hair said, Andromeda smiled at her,

"And that's Penny," Ted said motioning to the girl with long brown hair and big blue eyes,

"Hi," She said with a smile,

"Nice to meet you all," Andromeda said,

"Sit, please," April said motioning towards the chair beside her, Andromeda crossed around the table and took a seat, Ted sat across from her.

"We're trading frog cards," Chris said, "Do you collect any?"

"No," Andromeda said,

"Oh, well here, you can have my Dumbledore, I have like a million" He said handing her a card with the headmaster on it,

"Thanks," Andromeda said taking the card.

They treated her like a real friend, strangely she felt more welcome with these strangers Ted just introduced her to than her family who she knew her whole life.

******BELLATRIX*****

December 17th, 1964

Bellatrix sat with Rita and Alecto and Eliza in the train car as it pulled out of hogwarts. Narcissa was sitting with some of her friends and Andromeda had said something about doing the same but Bellatrix had never seen her with friends.

Bellatrix fidgeted with her nails as she tried to resist picking at them or her cuticles, her mother always screamed at her about that.

"OH! Bellatrix, I forgot to tell you, my mom's new boyfriend is invited to your family's ball so my mother and I are coming." Eliza said, "I'm sure you'd find out on your own, but I figured I'd tell you now."

"Oh? New step father? As in a different one from last year?" Rita asked,

"Yes that would be the meaning of 'new'" Eliza said sarcastically, Rita rolled her eyes,

"Who is he?" Bellatrix asked,

"Louis Malfoy, he's Lucius's second uncle or something." Eliza answered before pulling out a bottle of pink nail polish and starting to apply it.

"Well we'll all be there then, that should be fun," Alecto said,

"Fun isn't a word I'd ever use to describe anything with my family." Bellatrix muttered, no one but Rita heard, she laid her hand across Bella's as a comfort, blush rose in Bellatrix's cheeks.

******NARCISSA******

Narcissa sat in a train car with her friends Alexandra, Christina and Polly, well sort of her friends, they were shallow and always shooting backhanded comments at each other.

"You're so brave for wearing that home, my mother would kill me if I dressed like that." Alexandra said,

"Well my mother isn't a controlling vulture who always needs to live vicariously through me." Polly said, Narcissa closed her eyes and groaned internally.

Before Alexandra could answer again Narcissa got up and excused herself, "I'll be right back, I'm going to the restroom."

Narcissa left her train car and closed the door behind her. At school everyone wanted to be around her, she was smart, pretty, sweet, the perfect girl, but no one wanted to really be her friend.

She walked the corridors of the train to clear her head, she heard her sister's laugh ring through the hall. She stopped for a moment and walked closer to the car it came from.

She peeked into the car and saw Andromeda sitting with four hufflepuffs. They were all doubled over laughing. Narcissa's stomach sank partly with jealousy that Andromeda found good friends, partly with fear about what their parents would do when they found out she was hanging out with four Hufflepuff Mudbloods.

Andromeda looked up and caught Narcissa's eye, she pulled back and started to walk away but Andromeda left the train car and caught up to her.

"Cissa! Cissa wait!" She called, Narcissa turned,

"What?" She snapped, Andromeda recoiled,

"Are you going to tell mother and father?" She asked, Narcissa scowled,

"What that you're hanging out with Mudbloods?"

"Don't call them that!"

"That's what they are Andromeda, deal with it." Narcissa crossed her arms,

"Do you're going to tell?" Andromeda asked,

Narcissa was hurt that she hadn't really spoken to her sister in months and all Andromeda cared about was whether or not she would tell on her.

"Maybe," Narcissa mused, "Maybe not." She crossed her arms and made to walk away but Andromeda grabbed her arm.

"Cissa please," She begged,

"I'm not going to tell Andromeda," Narcissa hissed,

Andromeda let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you,"

"I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for Bella because she needs our parents to be in a good mood. But for the record, they'll find out one way or another, you should stop." Narcissa said coldly, Andromeda's face fell and before she could say anything else Narcissa walked away.

She kept walking through car after car looking for Bellatrix, tears welled in her eyes as she tried to hold them back, she didn't even know why she was about to cry.

She found her oldest sister's compartment and peered in, Bellatrix's head rested on Rita's shoulder as Eliza painted her nails and Alecto was sleeping.

She raised her fist to knock but stopped, Bellatrix looked happy, genuinely happy. It was like all the stress she usually carried dissipated and she couldn't bring herself to burden Bellatrix with this, not when they were so close to having to be back home.

She turned on her heel and walked, she planned to go back to her compartment and was halfway back when a girl nearly ran into her.

"Oh sorry!" She said,

"No it was my fault I wasn't paying attention," Narcissa said, the girl raised her head again and Narcissa paused,

"I know you," The girl said,

"I know you too," Narcissa answered, "You're Alice right? The girl my sister hexed a little ago?"

Alice froze, "Yea," She said,

"Sorry about that as well." Narcissa said, sometimes she liked how protective Bella was, but mostly it just got in the way and made her enemies with people she barely knew.

"It's fine," Alice said tentatively, "Uhm, I have to go, but it was nice meeting you, well we already met but you know what I mean," She said before giving Narcissa a shy smile,

"Yea, right. Uhm, bye." Narcissa said, with that, Alice waved and returned to her friends.

Narcissa sighed and scolded herself for the interaction before heading back to her not-so-much-friends friends.

******ANDROMEDA*****

Andromeda returned to her friends after the interaction with Narcissa,

"Was that your sister?" April asked,

"Yea, my younger one, Narcissa." Andromeda answered,

"What did she want?" Ted asked,

"Oh, nothing," Andromeda answered before taking a seat next to Ted.

Soon the conversation resumed and the interaction between her and her sister was forgotten by everyone but Andromeda sat in silence still worried about the interaction.

Ted noticed her silence and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "What happened?"

Andromeda sighed and faked a smile, "Nothing," She answered

"Andy, cmon you can tell me." He said,

"I just..." Andromeda took a breath, "she threatened to tell our parents I was hanging out with you."

Ted looked alarmed, "Will she? I don't want to get you in trouble because of me."

"No, she won't. I just didn't think she was so brainwashed by them and their, ideas." Andromeda said,

Ted gave her a sympathetic smile "Sorry,"

*****BELLATRIX*****

The train stopped at the platform and Bellatrix left her compartment with Rita, Narcissa and Andromeda would meet her at the exit.

When they exited the train Bellatrix spotted her parents talking to Rita's parents already, she took a breath and stood straighter, her sisters followed suit and they all approached their parents.

"Bellatrix, Narcissa, Andromeda," Druella greeted as Cygnus continued to speak to Rita's father about some ministry thing.

"Mother," Bellatrix said cautiously as she tried to gauge her mood.

"This must be Rita," Druella said,

"Yes," Bellatrix answered,

"Mother this is my friend Rita, Rita this is my mother,"

Rita bowed her head "It's a pleasure to meet you again Mrs. Black."

Druella sized her up as Bellatrix held her breath, she must have decided Rita was acceptable because she turned back to Rita's mother.

"Well, I can apparate with the children back to the manor," Druella said, Cygnus nodded and extended his arm for Rita's parents to take. Druella grabbed the children and they all apparated.

When they arrived her parents dismissed the children to the drawing room while the adults talked.

Bellatrix led her sisters and Rita to the drawing room. As they walked through the hall Rita admired the paintings and the sheer vastness of her friend's home.

They all walked into the drawing room and immediately their elf Horrendum appeared,

"Horrendum is happy to have the three Miss Blacks home again, and Miss Bellatrix has brought a friend! How lovely!" The elf bowed deeply,

Bellatrix figured it would be easier for her to introduce Rita as a new person rather than explain the whole situation, plus this way it would be better and Rita and her parents would have a clean slate.

Rita and Bellatrix sat in the window and talked for the hour it took their parents to be done.

Horrendum returned and told them all to come to the door so Bellatrix and her sisters could say goodbye to Rita and her parents.

When they arrived Druella was still talking with Rita's mother, they seemed to be having a pleasant conversation but it could be fake, Bellatrix would just have to wait.

When they had left Druella and Cygnus turned to the girls.

"They are acceptable," Druella sniffed, Bellatrix schooled her face to a neutral expression. "Perhaps in the future the girl will be allowed to stay at the house."

With that her mother and father left. Bellatrix and her sisters returned to the drawing room, Bellatrix was smiling so hard she thought her cheeks would be sore. It was a victory, the only one she would be allowed.

Chapter Text

December 18th, 1964

*KRACK* Horrendum apparated into Bellatrix's room, Bellatrix shot up into a sitting position,

"Miss Black is to be downstairs for breakfast in ten minutes." The elf said,

"Thank you Horrendum," Bellatrix answered rubbing the sleep from her eyes, the elf bowed before leaving. Bellatrix rose from her bed and began to dress quickly before going to the bathroom and wetting her hair down.

She was the first one downstairs and took her seat at the right of her father's chair.

Her mother and father entered next and sat down without a word.

Normally when she returned home there was an interrogation about her time at school, but after Rita left the girls were summoned to a silent dinner and then sent to bed.

Narcissa and Andromeda entered the dining room and sat down, then the food appeared. Cygnus cleared his throat and everyone waited for him to start the meal, but he didn't.

"Regulus and Sirius will be spending the week with us, they will return to Walburga and Orion after the party, you three will join them there." He said, Bellatrix felt a mix of emotions, on the one hand Regulus would be spending time with them, on the other Sirius was coming so that ensured Bellatrix would be punished for anything he did wrong. Then they would go to her aunt's, and she loved Walburga, even if she was losing it a little, but Orion would be there.

With that Cygnus served himself and then they all ate.

When breakfast was over Cygnus checked his watch and they all went to greet their relatives.

Walburga arrived with Sirius and Regulus shortly, she was invited in for tea while Bellatrix took the children to the drawing room. Before she left with Reg and Sirius Walburga called out to her.

"If Sirius won't destroy the drawing room without your supervision, I want you to join us for tea." She said, Bellatrix paused and looked back at her mother for approval. Her mother nodded to say it was ok.

"Of course Aunty, I'll escort them and return at once."

Walburga smiled and Bellatrix left.

She took her sisters and cousins to the drawing room, she was about to leave when Regulus tugged on her gown.

"When will you be back?" He asked softly,

Andromeda was in the corner entertaining Sirius while Narcissa waited for Regulus to join her in reading by the window.

"And hour maybe?" Bellatrix answered, she ran her fingers through his curly hair.

Regulus nodded and turned back to Narcissa.

Bellatrix met her aunt and mother for tea on the balcony of the second floor. It was cold outside and snow coated the grounds.

Druella and Walburga were engaged in a conversation about politics when Bellatrix sat down.

"Now, Bellatrix can decide which she thinks is correct." Walburga said, Bellatrix froze unsure of what they were talking about,

"She's a child, she doesn't know anything Walburga." Druella said, her voice laced with condescension,

Bellatrix straightened in her chair and remained silent. Walburga sighed, "She's 14, now is when we help her learn about the Black family values."

Druella pressed her lips into a line but didn't argue further. Walburga turned to Bellatrix, "Do you know who the minister of magic currently is?"

"Nobbly Leach, and Alec Douglas-Home is the prime minister," Bellatrix answered,

"What do you know about the minister?"

"He's the first mudblood minister." Bellatrix said,

"See, she does know!" Walburga exclaimed gleefully. Bellatrix gave a sheepish smile.

"I don't even think they should be allowed to run," Druella hissed,

"Yes yes, we can all agree on that." Her aunt said waving a hand, "No matter, the point is, there is another candidate,"

"Not officially," Druella said,

"Yes, but eventually he will run." Walburga said, "Do you know who Harold Wilson is?"

"Yes, he currently is the head of the department of Magical Resources." Bellatrix said, in conversations with adults Bellatrix had learned not to share her opinions and always speak only when spoken to.

"Right, and do you think he will run for minister? I think he will but Druella disagrees, she says the mudbloods are overtaking everything."

Bellatrix paused, she was well read on the government of the wizarding world, if you asked she could name each and every position and who is currently in it.

"He's young, only 30, but I think he will eventually run, maybe in the next five years or so, he has ambition." Bellatrix said,

Walburga smiled, "Yes, well the main point is I think we should try and get closer to him so if he does become minister it will be nice to have him in our pocket."

Bellatrix considered it for a moment, "I think it's a good idea..." She said carefully.

"Your mother objects, she thinks that Wilson is just as likely to use us and our connections to run for minister, she thinks we should wait."

"If he did want to use our connections I think he would approach us, which he hasn't. I always think while waiting is prudent he'll have many families trying to do the same thing once he's elected." Bellatrix said,

Her aunt and mother considered her response for a moment, "I'm inclined to agree Bellatrix, well done." His mother said after a moment, Bellatrix beamed at the praise.

For the next hour they talked about the ministry and politics and other things.

*****REGULUS******

Regulus sat by the window with Narcissa, he continued to read a book, she had abandoned reading and taken a pencil and sketch pad.

His attention drifted from his book to his brother and Andromeda. The two were laughing about something, Andromeda continued to entertain him.

Regulus huffed and waited for Bellatrix to return. She was 6 years above him, but he liked her a lot, and she seemed to enjoy his presence. He aspired to be like her, he watched the way she spoke, how she carried herself, everything she did in hopes of being more like her.

Maybe it was because his mother adored Bellatrix, and maybe if he was more like her she would love him just as much. Bellatrix seemed to love Walburga like a mother, Regulus didn't really understand it, she was far from loving or caring, and to him she never had been.

He resolved to ask her about it, she was more social without being overly loud or obnoxious like Sirius.

He waited patiently and was overjoyed when she returned, and even happier that she didn't look like she'd been punished. Bellatrix surveyed the room the way his mother did, assessing for damage or anything that needed to be fixed incase someone else came in. She walked over to Regulus who was pretending to read and not have noticed Bella enter.

"Hey," She said,

Regulus closed his book, Narcissa didn't look up from her drawing but she offered a small greeting.

"What are you reading?"

Regulus pushed the book away, he had taken it from her room hoping she would be okay with it. "Nothing,"

Bellatrix reached over and grabbed the book, "La Belle et la Bête." she read the title, "Is this mine?"

Regulus looked down, "I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I got it from your room." He explained,

"It's alright Reg, you can take whatever from my room." Bellatrix said, Regulus looked up and relaxed, "Did you like it?"

"I haven't finished," He answered,

"Do you like it so far?"

He nodded, "Did you?"

"Yes actually, but it's not my favorite."

"What is your favorite?"

"Now or what was it when I was your age?"

"Both,"

Bellatrix blew out a breath, "When I was your age my favorite book was probably La Belle au bois dormant. Now it's probably Pride and Prejudice,"

"Can I read them?" Regulus asked,

"Sure, I'll go get them," Bellatrix moved to get up,

"Can I come?"

Bellatrix paused, she wasn't confined per se to the drawing room, but she wasn't sure if Regulus was allowed to leave, "Sure"

With that they went to Bellatrix's room.

Regulus's cousin's room was dark, she had black curtain covering the stained glass window. Her ceiling was painted a dark blue with stars painted across it, all of their family's constellations, Orion's was over her bed.

Bellatrix walked over to her bookcase and grabbed La Belle au bois dormant. "I don't think you're ready to read Pride and Prejudice, when you start hogwarts I'll lend it to you." she said. Then they returned to the drawing room.

*****

December 20th, 1964*****BELLATRIX*****

At breakfast that morning Cygnus had told her she was allowed to take the children out to the garden for a few hours if it pleased her. Bellatrix was surprised, she had always been put in charge of her cousins and sisters but always under strict guidelines from an adult.

Things were changing for her, she wasn't punished nearly as much, but maybe that was just because she was usually at school.

Bellatrix took the children outside to the garden an hour after breakfast, they were all dressed in warm cloaks and gloves.

Andromeda and Sirius immediately tried to leave to do whatever in the snow but Bellatrix told them not to.

"Why not!!" Sirius whined,

"Because I said so!" Bellatrix snapped,

"I don't care!" Sirius said petulantly,

Bellatrix drew her wand and fired a stinging jinx at him, "Behave." She hissed, they were in a spot where if anyone was to look out a window they would be visible, and Bellatrix wouldn't risk them being spotted doing their usual things by their parents.

Regulus watched from the side as Bella and Sirius got into another fight. He always thought it was because they were so similar, Bellatrix would crucio him if he ever said it, but despite their different motives and beliefs, they were both strong willed, smart, and loyal.

Andromeda and Sirius settled to walk many paces behind the others as they strolled through the garden. Regulus and Narcissa flanked Bellatrix, the latter of whom was admiring the snow covered flowers that bloomed all year due to some magic.

"Why do you and Aunt Walburga get along so well?" Regulus asked, Bellatrix turned to look at him, he was nearly to her shoulders. She shot him a questioning glance,

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she always likes you, and she's never mean. Is it because you're just better?"

Bellatrix sucked in a breath,

"No, I'm not better, I'm older maybe so I know more, but Reg you're just as good as me." She assured,

"Why do you like her?"

Bellatrix opened her mouth to answer but Sirius yelled from behind them,

"Yea? Why because she's bloody mental!"

Bellatrix turned and fired another stinging jinx at him, this one was more painful, Sirius lost his balance and fell. "She is not Mental! Do not speak about your mother that way, especially not when it's your bloody fault if she's off! You ruined her, she was fine till you were born Sirius!" She yelled.

Bellatrix was always defensive about when people call others 'crazy' Walburga would sometimes lose her temper, or forget things, but she wasn't crazy, just a little off...

Tears welled in Sirius's eyes at Bellatrix's words, he wondered if he was the reason his mother was like that. Bellatrix turned and continued walking, Regulus let the subject drop.

After an hour in the cold Bellatrix took them all back to the drawing room to warm up.

Bellatrix didn't pay any attention to Sirius as she spoke with Regulus about whatever, but Andromeda noticed how quiet Sirius had been since Bellatrix yelled at him. She attempted to engage him in their usual shenanigans but her efforts were futile. Narcissa continued her drawing from earlier.

"Do you know how to play chess?" Regulus asked,

"Mhm, your mother taught me," Bellatrix answered,

"Can we play?" he asked,

"You know how?" Bellatrix asked, she assumed Walburga wouldn't teach him considering she didn't even play with her. Regulus nodded,

"I taught myself"

"I would have taught you,"

"I know, but I didn't want to make you do more." With that Regulus rose to fetch the chessboard and pieces.

They set up the game and began to play, considering Regulus had taught himself he was doing well and was actually a worthy opponent.

"Is Rita coming to the ball?" He asked, Bellatrix nodded, Regulus's face fell,

"Why? You don't like her?"

"It's not that I don't like her..." Regulus said,

"Yea it's just she's a horrid person." Andromeda muttered,

"Well then they match." Sirius said,

Bellatrix turned to them, "Watch it," She hissed, Andromeda rolled her eyes and stopped Sirius from answering and therefore stopped him from getting hit with another jinx.

"I like her fine," Regulus continued, "She just takes up all your attention,"

Bellatrix smiled, "You can join us, I'll probably be forced to dance with Rudolphus again, but when I'm not I'll be with you."

Regulus smiled,

"Oh!" Bellatrix said, remembering that she was supposed to ask Regulus to befriend Barty Jr. "At the ball Barty Crouch and his son will be there. He's your age and your mother wants you to befriend him."

Regulus groaned, "Doesn't she remember what happened with Evan and Pandora? I barely said anything"

"And they liked you, just be yourself, I'll introduce us." Bellatrix said, Regulus rolled his eyes but didn't say anything else.

*******

December 24th, 1964

Bellatrix readied herself in her room, Horrendum was helping her sister and Regulus's parents had come early with their house elf to assist Reggie and Sirius.

She had put on her dress, it was black, as usual. Beads made pretty designs at the top around her chest, then the dress fell to the floor; a lace train was attached to her shoulders and black short heels pinched her feet. Pearls covered her neck.

Bellatrix was pinning her hair into a crown atop her head. Her long hair was heavy and the style gave her a headache but she pushed through it. Rita had sent a letter with a picture of her dress a day ago, she said she was excited to see Bellatrix again.

Bellatrix put the last clip in place and inspected herself in the mirror. When she deduced nothing was wrong she made her way downstairs to the ballroom. Her parents, Aunt and Uncle were there, Bellatrix wanted to cave her shoulders in and cover herself at the sight of Orion but she resisted the urge and kept her head high.

Soon her sisters and cousins joined them, Narcissa was sent to greet the guests. Bellatrix took Sirius, Reg, and Andy to a table and sat as they waited while people arrived. Thankfully it wasn't long before wizards and witches filled the room. Andromeda excused herself and wandered off with Sirius. Walburga approached Bellatrix,

"Rudolphus had just arrived," She said, with that she left.

After a minute Rudolphus came over with a bored look on his face, "May I have this dance?" He asked flatly, Bellatrix sighed and got up with a fake smile to take his arm. She turned back to Regulus once more,

"When Rita gets here will you tell her where I am?"

Regulus agreed and Bellatrix was off dancing with Rudolphus in silence. Bellatrix tried to feign interest in him just for show, she caught Alecto's eye and her friend just grinned and winked before walking off to join her brother.

After one dance Bellatrix noticed Eliza dancing beside her with some guy. Bellatrix smiled at her and Eliza just grinned.

Bellatrix excused herself after two dances to return to Regulus, she hoped Rita was there. Eliza continued to dance with different men, she was never without a partner.

Before Bellatrix got to Regulus Druella intercepted her, "Bellatrix, where is Andromeda?"

Bellatrix glanced around, while she danced she kept an eye on her sister so that she would know where she and Sirius were. "Over by the far right table in the corner."

"She is supposed to dance with Thomas Rowle, does she know?" Her mother asked,

"I'm not sure mother, she didn't mention anything about him to me."

Druella sighed, Bellatrix began to grow nervous it would be turned into her fault.

"I told her they are to be married, so she should know." Druella said, Bellatrix didn't reply, she hadn't cared that her marriage was arranged, she didn't really think Andromeda would, but maybe she had been wrong.

Druella left and went after Andromeda while Bellatrix returned to Regulus. She spotted Rita at the table with Alecto while Regulus looked around nervously. Bellatrix already had seen the dress Rita would wear but it looked different on her in person. Bellatrix paused and took in the floor length crimson dress. It was open in the back and tied around her neck. The silk flowed down her body like water and a slit ran up the the dress, showing Rita's thin pale legs. The v-neck dipped a few inches below her shoulders and Bellatrix tore her eyes away.

Bellatrix walked over and Rita stood up to hug her but remembered she shouldn't here, instead she curtsied. Bellatrix tried to act normal when the urge to touch Rita ran through her, just a brush of skin was enough. She felt her heart quicken,

"Bellatrix," She said, Bellatrix cringed, she didn't like the formality but it was necessary,

"Rita," Bellatrix answered, Rita fought a smile as they sat down and began to talk,

After a few minutes Lucius came over, "Where is Narcissa?" He asked, Bellatrix looked up from her conversation with Rita,

"I don't know? Why don't you look." She answered, upset at being interrupted. Lucius rolled his eyes and walked off.

Fortunately Rudolphus didn't bother her anymore so she was at liberty to talk with Rita all she wanted and she didn't have to explain the whole engagement. Bellatrix stared at her friend's pretty red lips as she talked about... something. She ignored the urges that arose in her and scolded herself for such wrong thoughts.

Rita brushed her hand over Bellatrix's arm as she turned to grab a drink and left goose bumps in her wake. Bellatrix took a breath and focused.

*****RITA*****

Rita excused herself to get a drink, the room was hot, and she felt sweaty from talking with Bellatrix. Really she was just rambling while Bellatrix stared at her with her beautiful black eyes. Her hair was all pinned on her head, and while Rita preferred her long hair down, it showed off her neck.

Rita poured herself some water and returned.

******BELLATRIX*****

Thankfully this time, Orion didn't ruin the night and she and Rita talked until the party was over. She walked Rita and her parents out, while Rita's mother and father spoke with Druella Rita and Bellatrix stood in the moonlight talking in hushed tones.

"You look really pretty Trix," Rita said, Bellatrix felt herself blush and she smiled,

"You're gorgeous." Bellatrix answered,

Before the adults turned back Rita gave Bellatrix a quick hug but when she released Trix she didn't pull away. She turned to make sure no one was watching and gave Bellatrix a kiss on the cheek before walking back to her parents. Bellatrix froze for a moment and watched Rita leave. Then she remembered her mother was there, she quickly wiped her cheek to get the lipstick off.

*****

December 25th, 1964

Bellatrix hadn't slept that night, she tossed and turned, remembering the brief moment Rita had kissed her. It had only taken a second but Bellatrix remembered everything. The way Rita had glanced down to her lips, or maybe she had imagined that. The way Rita hair smelled when they hugged, like the leave in conditioner she always used and parchment. The soft brush of Rita's lips against her cheek. All of it made Bellatrix's pulse race and her cheeks heat but she didn't want to stop thinking about it in case she forgot something.

She wanted it so perfectly engraved in her brain nothing could wash it out.

It was wrong, but she had moved passed trying to pretend she didn't feel it, instead she justified it to herself. It didn't mean anything, it was normal for friends to be like that, for them to kiss goodbye sometimes. It was fine for her to really like it.

Chapter Text

December 25th, 1964

After a restless night Bellatrix and her sisters and cousins were woken early the next morning to go to their aunt and uncle's for the rest of the break. Bellatrix was downstairs first considering she had been awake all night. She met her aunt and the door and when the rest of the children came they left.

When they arrived at Walburga's house Regulus and Sirius were sent to the drawing room while the girls were to have tea.

Bellatrix sat at the little table with her sisters and aunt

A fog sat over Bellatrix's mind, it had been there ever since Rita left, like she wasn't really there anymore. She sipped her tea quietly while Aunt Walburga talked to Andromeda about her arranged marriage.

Normally it was only the eldest child who had an arrangement, but Andromeda had strayed from the correct path according to their mother.

Andromeda mostly answered Aunt Walburga in short quiet responses. No one in their family seemed to really like Aunt Walburga, not the way Bellatrix did anyway. They all treated her like she was crazy and annoying.

Bellatrix stirred her tea with a bored expression on her face. She wasn't even in her own body anymore, she was somewhere lost in the endless maze of her mind.

She felt something kick her under the table and snapped to her attention, Narcissa was staring at her. Bellatrix made an expression to convey her confusion, Narcissa nodded to Andromeda and Walburga who were starting to argue over something. Bellatrix sighed, that was the problem with Andy, she always tried to make others see her way when they never would. Bellatrix knew it fell on her to de-escalate the situation.

"Aunty," Bellatrix interrupted Andromeda's speech about mudbloods or something, "Did you see my friend Rita at the ball last night?" It wasn't her best diversion but she didn't have anything else she could talk about.

"The blonde?" Walburga asked, Bellatrix and Narcissa sighed knowing that a disaster had just been avoided. Bellatrix nodded, "Yes I saw her, why?"

Bellatrix smiled, "I just wanted to know what you thought of her? Did the two of you have the chance to talk?" she knew they hadn't, Bellatrix tried her best to keep her family away from Rita.

"No, I didn't..." Walburga said, "But she seems a good enough girl. I'm sure if you deem her worthy she is."

*****SIRIUS******

After tea Bellatrix and her sisters joined Reggie and Sirius in the drawing room. Sirius sighed inwardly as Bellatrix came in, Regulus got up and left Sirius to go talk to Bella. It was hurtful to watch his little brother be so enamored with their least stable cousin.

He watched Regulus embrace Bellatrix in a tentative hug and he felt a pang of hurt. Partly because he was supposed to be who Regulus looked up to and wanted to be, and partly because he wished someone in his family loved him the way Bellatrix seemed to love Regulus. She always cared for him and protected him, even at the expense of Sirius, sometimes he wished she would protect him like that.

Bellatrix had somehow convinced Regulus that Sirius was the reason their mother was mental. That she had been sweet once upon a time, before Sirius was born, and maybe she had been, but it wasn't Sirius's fault.

******BELLATRIX******

Bellatrix sat with Regulus while he told her all about what he'd been learning from his tutors. The evening finished with them playing a game of chess, one Bellatrix won, but it was close.

*****
(Skip now for the trigger warning)

December 26th, 1964

Bellatrix was woken by her Uncle coming into her room at god knows what hour.

"Shhh," He hushed her when she sat up abruptly at the cold hands touching her arms in her sleep. She froze, bracing herself for what she knew would happen, his hand ran over her skin, she shivered in disgust. "You're almost too old for our games Bellatrix... Does that make you sad?"

Bellatrix closed her eyes, "Yes," She murmured, knowing it was what he wanted, and it was easier when she just gave it to him.

"Muffliato." Orion muttered waving his wand. He pointed it at her, "You know you're worthless," he said softly, "If you tell anyone they won't believe you. It would be your fault. Plus nothing here is wrong." Bellatrix avoided his eyes.

When he finished with her, as always he punished her, "Crucio," The curse hit Bellatrix hard, she fell back and screamed into her teeth, "Shut up," he hissed, tears ran down her face and he continued to hold the curse.

Eventually she passed out from the exhaustion and pain of it all, and when she woke up there was nothing but her own memories to prove it was more than a bad dream, and even those were beginning to be unreliable.

(End of the actual thing but until the next day it's going to be mentioned a bit)

She dressed before going to check on her sisters, they were just waking up. Next, she went to Regulus's room, she listened at the door and then slowly turned the handle before entering. Regulus sat up in his bed abruptly, already tense.

"It's me," Bellatrix said softly, Regulus relaxed, "I wanted to check in, see if anything... happened." She said, Regulus knew what she meant.

"Nothing happened," Regulus replied softly, Bellatrix breathed out thankfully, glad that she could be the outlet of Orion's punishments if it meant Regulus didn't have to.

Bellatrix had dark circles under her eyes, she was tired. Between not having slept after the ball and then being woken up at dawn this morning she felt like she would collapse.

Bellatrix walked over to Regulus and sat at the end of his bed. He could see the exhaustion that possessed her body and face. He thought she was too young to look so tired, to be so tired. They both were too young for this.

"I'm tired," Bellatrix muttered, it was something she didn't like to admit, not with anyone, especially Regulus, she wanted to be stronger for him.

Regulus offered her a smile as she fell backwards onto his bed and closed her eyes. They sat in silence for a while and eventually Regulus realized Bellatrix had fallen asleep. She looked different, without the worry and scowl on her face, peaceful, younger. Sometimes he forgot she was only 14, she always acted so much older.

*****

December 30th, 1964

"Bellatrix, Mrs. Black requests you downstairs immediately," Kreature said as Bellatrix combed out her hair.

"Thank you Kreature," Bellatrix answered, with a bow and a krack the elf left.

Bellatrix walked downstairs to the main sitting room where he Aunt waited for her. The house was cold and goosebumps pricked up on her arms and legs but she ignored it.

When her aunt spotted her she rose from her chair. Bellatrix stopped in front of her. "Aunty," She said,

"Bellatrix," Her aunt replied, "I've called you down for a surprise." Bellatrix froze at the words, she wondered what exactly her aunt counted as a surprise.

Bellatrix looked at her quizzically,

"I've been informed you had asked for a friend to be allowed to stay over," Walburga said, "I think you're old enough for that, and you've done well in keeping the family pure." Bellatrix's heart beat like a drum in her chest, she wondered if Rita was truly coming.

"Rita will arrive tomorrow afternoon, she'll stay with us for one night."

Bellatrix schooled her face into a neutral expression, not daring to give anyone leverage over her. "Thank you," she said carefully.

"It was Orion's idea," Walburga said, Bellatrix's joy dissipated. Walburga looked at the clock in the corner, "I must go now, I have things to attend to." With that she left the room in a flurry of black fabric. Bellatrix felt her legs grow weaker and she fell into the leather sofa. The words repeated in her head 'Orion's idea' she wondered why he was doing this, what his plan was. Rage filled her veins at the thought of him touching Rita, she vowed it wouldn't happen, no matter what.

*****

December 31st, 1964

Bellatrix didn't sleep that night, it seemed to be a pattern at this point, it seemed like she never slept anymore, and it was making her hostile and nauseous. She got up after another night of laying in bed staring at the ceiling and got dressed so she could greet Rita when she arrived at noon.

She spent the morning in the drawing room with her sisters and cousins, though she wasn't really there, she was tired but had so much energy at the same time. She sat idling watching the seconds tick by on the clock, waiting until she would see Rita.

Hours dragged by, it felt like years, but eventually it was time. Bellatrix waited anxiously for Kreature to call her to the door.

With a KRACK the elf appeared, Bellatrix shot up from where she was seated,

"Miss Black has a visitor," He said, "Miss Bellatrix is needed at the door."

Bellatrix started walking quickly, her anticipation almost causing her to run. She reached the door within under 30 seconds, Walburga and Orion were already there, Bellatrix's heart sank at the sight of her uncle, but she brushed it off. There was a knock at the door and Bellatrix looked to her aunt for approval before opening the door.

She kept her face stern and didn't betray any excitement, there was no reason to let them know Rita affected her so much. On one hand, she didn't like bringing Rita into her family's home, into their madness, but on the other she was so grateful for Rita as a companion in sed madness.

Rita stood at the threshold with her parents, she looked so pretty. The way the sun reflected off the snow and made her look illuminated. The way her green eyes sparkled in the light, and the flecks of gold that shone in them even through the glasses she wore.

*****RITA*****

Rita was practically jumping out of her skin when Bellatrix answered the door, she didn't even register that anyone else was there. The way Bellatrix stood out from the shadows of her home, not by being lighter, but by being darker. She put the night to shame. Her eyes were endless pits of black Rita wanted to be lost in. Her long black hair, the curled and how she always had a few strands hanging over her right shoulder. All of it sent Rita reeling.

She was so beautiful, but something was different, she looked exhausted, beautiful, but dead tired. Her pale skin made the purple-black sinking under her eyes and cheeks stand out. She looked older.

The other thing Rita was bothered by was the stiffness in her face and posture, she was never really relaxed, but she wasn't usually this tense. She had told Rita about her family, all the bad things, all the screaming and crying and torture, because that's what it was. Torture. But Bellatrix would never see that.

******BELLATRIX*****

She realized she hadn't yet said anything, so she stepped back from the door to let Rita and her parents in, "Come in," Bellatrix said flatly. Rita smiled and led her parents inside, Kreature came to take their coats but her parents waved it off.

"We aren't staying," Her mother explained, "I have to get back to st Mungos and Claus has something at the ministry to attend to." She smiled warmly. It donned on Bellatrix how similar Rita looked to her parents, she was a perfect mix of the two. "Anyway" Mrs. Skeeter continued, "Thank you for inviting Rita, she was very excited."

"Of course, Bellatrix speaks highly of her," Orion said, Bellatrix tensed, it was a lie, she made sure not to mention Rita, sometimes it was better to not be on her family's radar, but apparently that ship had sailed.

More pleasantries were exchanged before Rita's parents finally departed. When they had Orion swept away to his study and Walburga turned to the girls.

"Would you like tea?" She asked,

Bellatrix was ready to leave and find somewhere else away from her family with Rita, but she knew it would be rude to her aunt to not have tea, especially when Rita was a sort of fucked up present for Bellatrix.

"That would be lovely!" Rita said,

Walburga smiled, called Kreature and ordered him to make tea.

Minutes later Bellatrix sat with her best friend and aunt having tea. Rita was extremely nervous, there were a million rules at the Black house that Bellatrix hadn't had time to explain to her, and she was so scared of fucking up. She looked over to Bellatrix who was trying to subtly show her what to do.

Rita caught on and began to copy whatever Bellatrix did and how she behaved.

"Rita," Walburga said, Rita nearly choked on her tea, "What does your mother do at St. Mungos?"

Rita looked to Bellatrix for guidance, she just nodded slightly, "Uhm," Rita said, "She's a nurse, Mrs. Black."

Walburga seemed satisfied by this answer, Bellatrix and Rita breathed a sigh of relief. "And your father works at the ministry?" Walburga asked,

"Yes, he works in the wizengamot." Rita said,

"Do you plan to follow either of their careers?" Walburga asked,

"No, I want to be a journalist," Rita said,

Walburga scowled, "Journalist?" She questioned, Bellatrix's eyes widened,

"As in researcher, she wants to make advancements in magic and study ancient practices and write about them." Bellatrix said, it was a lie and that was not at all what Rita wanted but that was all she would salvage from journalist,

"Ah," Walburga said, "My mistake, when I think of journalists I think of petty gossip, it's good that you aren't like that." she said, "It's shallow, no honor."

Rita smiled, trying to go along with Trix's lie.

An hour later Bellatrix and Rita were released from tea. It was mostly dancing around real answers, and it had exhausted Rita, she had no clue how Bellatrix kept up with any of it.

The girls walked back to the drawing room, Bellatrix stopped them outside the door.

"Sirius and Andromeda are in there," Bellatrix said,

"I know," Rita said,

"I mean, I don't want them to see how much...." She trailed off, stopping herself from saying love, "I don't need people knowing I care about you, especially not my family, they'll extort it and me in turn."

"Got it," Rita said,

"So I'm going to hug you before we go in, and then whenever people aren't around. Also we're not big on physical contact, even though I really like it." Bellatrix said, it was hard, she had learned with Rita she loved Physical touch, it was her way of showing and receiving love, but her family barely grazed each other's arms in the hallways. She was fairly sure that she was held maybe three times as a child.

Bellatrix wrapped her arms around Rita and buried her head into Rita's shoulder. Bellatrix wished she could speak freely with Rita like she would normally, but the walls listened.

When she pulled back Rita was smiling,

"You're so much shorter than me," Rita said, Bellatrix rolled her eyes,

"I'll grow." She said,

They entered the drawing room and Regulus and Narcissa looked up, Bellatrix looked around and found Sirius and Andromeda playing with a deck of cards. Regulus put down his book and came over, Narcissa offered her sister a smile and then returned to painting.

"Hey Reg," Bellatrix said, he looked up shyly and tried to smile, "You've met Rita, obviously, but not really without family around,"

Rita smiled, it was important to her that Bellatrix's family liked her, it would make things way easier in the long run.

The three stood awkwardly before Bellatrix sighed and pulled Rita to a far corner of the room where they could talk uninterrupted. Rita marveled at the large harp that took up the center of the room and the ornate piano on the far wall. She took in the rest of the room. Her eyes landed on a pretty chess set.

"Can we play?" she asked,

Bellatrix nodded and they walked over the the board and sat down. "Remember the rules?" Bellatrix asked,

Rita nodded, "I practiced on my own."

They began playing, and Rita had gotten better, but Bellatrix still went easy on her, and still won. At some point Regulus had walked over, "Can I play Bella?" He asked, Bellatrix looked up and opened her mouth to tell him she was playing with Rita but Rita had already risen from her seat and motioned for Regulus to sit down.

Rita took a seat on Bellatrix's side, her legs brushed against Bella's, not even the snow outside would have been enough to stop the heat that burned through the two of them, it was like a bolt of energy.

Bellatrix continued to play Regulus as Rita watched. She had to admit, Regulus was a worthy opponent, Bellatrix was just older, so she won.

Bellatrix shook Reg's hand after he surrendered and stood up.

"I'm going to show Rita the garden," Bellatrix announced, "Cissa don't let anything happen," Bellatrix said, Narcissa didn't even look up but Bellatrix didn't care. She summoned Kreature for their warm clothes and after bundling up the two girls set out to walk through the garden.

The cold drew pink the the tips of Bellatrix's hands and nose, their breaths made fog as they walked through the snow covered paths.

"How are you?" Rita asked, their voices were the only sound,

"Fine," Bellatrix said,

"Really," Rita said, "i do want to know"

Bellatrix sighed and looked down, "I'm really tired," She said softly, like she was scared someone would berate her for it. Rita waited for her to say more, "My family is exhausting, my life is exhausting, I just want to sleep, all the time, I want to go to sleep and not have to wake up until it's time for school again. And I can't sleep, I'm so tired and I can't sleep." Bellatrix said, her voice was weary as she let down that mask she constantly wore.

Rita looked down, the two of them had stopped walking near a frozen lake. Bellatrix looked like a raven in the middle of the snow.

Their eyes met and they both read each other the way only they could, Bellatrix looked at Rita, with all her faults, and flaws and exhaustion, and Rita looked back, with all her sorrow, and beauty, and they understood. Bellatrix opened herself to Rita, and she didn't get angry, or upset, she just loved her.

They stared at each other, two confused 14 year olds, two best friends, two girls who had no clue about anything of substance, but they knew everything at the same time. They understood it ran deeper, they ran deeper, and they were in danger of digging so deep they would reach the core.

******

After an hour the girls returned to the warmth of the house, somehow it still felt colder inside than in the snow. They sat by the fire, just being in each other's presence.

Sirius was playing a card game with Andromeda, a loud noise issued from their game and Bellatrix shot up,

"What was that?" She asked,

"The cards," Sirius said,

Bellatrix stood up and walked over, "Exploding snape?" She questioned, it wasn't allowed in their house, nothing that could give anyone any joy ever was. "Where did you get that?" Bellatrix asked,

Sirius didn't answer,

"I got it for him." Andromeda said,

Bellatrix turned to her, "Why? It's not allowed! You know better Andromeda-"

"What are you going to do? Tell on me? Oh wait you can't because then you would risk not being able to have Rita here." Andromeda interrupted,

"What if you're caught!" Bellatrix said, "I'd get in more trouble, if I tell them first they won't be as hard." Bellatrix said, "MERLIN!" She screamed, normally she would never raise her voice, but she was too tired. "Why can't you just bloody do the right thing! I try so hard to keep you all out of trouble."

Everyone stared at Bellatrix,

"I try every day but you just have to cause more problems and more problems for me to clean up! It's not that bloody hard to behave!" She screeched,

Sirius had recoiled, tears in his eyes.

Bellatrix took a breath to steady herself, she closed her eyes. "Get rid of it. Now. I don't care how, but get rid of it." She said before turning back to Rita and walking away. She stopped in front of her friend, "I want to show you my room," Bellatrix said, it was just an excuse to get away from her family, the only thing that seemed to give her peace now.

Rita stood up and followed Rita.

Bellatrix's room at her Aunt's house was in the east wing upstairs. It was a few halls away from Regulus's and Narcissa's, Sirius's room was on the top floor, Andromeda's was near his. Bellatrix opened the door to her room and waved to want to light the candles.

Rita looked around Bellatrix's room, "Does your room at your mother's look like this?" Rita asked, she examined the dark wood dresser and bed. A purple silk threaded rug covered the floor, and her bed was perfectly made.

"No," Bellatrix said, she went over to the door that opened to her little balcony and opened it, she went to sit on the chairs outside and Rita followed.

"At my house, my room is bigger." She said,

"Can you describe it to me?" Rita asked, she wanted to know what Bellatrix had her room look like.

"Uhm," Bellatrix said, trying to recall what her room looked like. "It has white and gold wallpaper with la fleur de lis on it. My ceiling is dark blue, it has constellations on it, my bed is iron, it has a swirl pattern. I have a piano in that room, and a really big stained glass window."

"What is the picture on the stained glass?"

"It's our family tree," Bellatrix said, a light snow began to fall and the little flakes caught in Bellatrix's hair,

Rita sucked in a breath, she was close enough to see small details on the flakes in Bellatrix's hair, it made her look even more gorgeous. "Beautiful," She said softly, referring to her best friend.

A sadness fell over Bellatrix's face, she knew, she had known for a long time she was in love with Rita Skeeter, but she never accepted that she knew it, she never accepted it as truth, and now, she had. She wished she hadn't, she wished there was a rationalization to it all but as Bellatrix looked at Rita and her beautiful face she knew undoubtedly, she was broken and wrong, she knew it would never happen, she knew she could never say a word about it, and she knew she'd never be free to be with Rita and to love her.

"What's wrong?" Rita asked,

"I'm just tired of it," Bellatrix said, it was true she was tired of everything, she was tired of her family, she was tired of being perfect, she was tired of being punished even when she was perfect, she was tired of being herself, she was exhausted, who wouldn't be? She was tired of what her brain thought and how it never stopped, she was so tired of always having to push, and most of all, she was tired of loving Rita, and even more tired of denying it when Rita filled every waking thought, when Rita fueled her existence, when she grew hot at the graze of Rita's skin on her's.

Rita didn't answer, instead she took Bellatrix's hand in hers and scooted closer.

*****

They were called down for dinner after an hour by Narcissa, Bellatrix had practically jumped away from Rita as she heard a knock on her door.

Bellatrix took her usual spot between Narcissa and Walburga, Rita stood awkwardly, unsure of where to go.

"Narcissa, scoot down a chair for Rita." Walburga said, Narcissa complied almost immediately, the tone of voice Walburga used with everyone else was different from how she talked to Bellatrix, and apparently Rita as well.

Across from Bellatrix Sirius made a face at her while Orion and Walburga weren't looking.

Everyone waited until Orion served himself and took a bite to begin the meal, Bellatrix had explained the rules of meals in a hurry to Rita as they came downstairs, Rita was perfect, better than Sirius ever was.

******REGULUS*******

Regulus had spent the day giving Bellatrix grace, she was so nice and sweet to him usually, but when Rita was there he didn't exist, no matter what Bellatrix said, it was like the action of ever spending a moment without her attention on Rita was a moment wasted.

He was hurt, yes, but he was hurt more as he watched Walburga and Bellatrix, she treated Bella like a daughter, and now she welcomed Rita gladly when she didn't even welcome her own sons.

*****RITA******

Rita sat next to Bellatrix, acutely aware of everything she did and of every difference between Bellatrix alone and Bellatrix with family or in public.

Bellatrix was strung tight as a chord.

Rita waited to see what Bellatrix did, how she held the fork, but Rita was more focused on her friend's hands, she watched what Bellatrix took from the table, she watched the way Bellatrix's hair cascaded over her shoulder when she moved to get soup. Bellatrix finished her half actually behaving how she would half sneakily demonstrating for Rita what to do, she turned to watch as Rita did the same under loaded glances from Bellatrix communicating in the way they did.

Bellatrix widened her eyes when Rita reached for the wrong fork, and Rita stopped. Bellatrix blinked twice to tell her it was the second from the plate.

It was seamless and through both girls fear of failure they made it look perfect.

*****BELLATRIX*****

Dinner was a silent affair, after they were excused Bellatrix showed Rita to her room, it was the one beside Bellatrix's.

"Goodnight," Bellatrix said, she began to shut the door but Rita caught it,

"What?" Rita asked confused,

"Well I won't see you until morning, all these doors are enchanted to lock for anyone other than Walburga and Orion until morning, you can't get out. It wasn't there when I was a kid but they put it in place a month ago when Sirius snuck into Orion's office." Bellatrix said,

Rita stared at her, "Uh, not what I meant but we need to circle back to that later, I meant it's new years eve,"

"So?"

"So... don't you celebrate?" Rita asked,

"No..." Bellatrix said,

"You never heard or saw fireworks at night?"

"We're in the middle of over 300s hundred acres of land, that on one else is on, and that is riddled with enchantments. No, we don't hear or see anything" Bellatrix said,

"That's sad." Rita said,

"It's peaceful" Bellatrix corrected,

Rita gave her a sad smile, "You don't ever seem at peace here." And with that Rita turned and the door closed.

Bellatrix walked into her room and the door closed, then locked. Rita was right, there was nothing peaceful here, there should have been.

Bellatrix fell asleep, she was so tired at this point not even her thoughts could keep her awake long. Still, her dreams were little repose.

Bellatrix sat in her bed, it was dark, everything but the bed was dark, she wore a torn dress, one she was supposed to take care of. Someone walked in, they cast a spell, she didn't know what. She shivered, a lurking presence stalked in the dark. Then it stepped into the light.

Orion came forward, his pale skin and dark eyes, hooded in shadow. He smiled, she heard a bang echo from another room and turned towards the sound, but saw nothing, not even a door or any sign there was another room. After a moment Walburga's screams of rage filled the silence, then crying, it was Bellatrix crying, but she was right here.

She turned back to Orion, he was inches away from her, his hand resting on her thigh. Orion opened his mouth, "You can't do anything, you're powerless, helpless. I control you, I control the people you care about. You can't save them, you can't take everything and think I wouldn't still do the same things to them. To Regulus, and Narcissa, and even your little lesbian girlfriend you fucking faggot." His voice was distorted, and his nails dug into where his hand touched her.

She wanted to open her mouth to deny it, but no words came out.

She woke in a sweat, gasping for air.

*****

January 1st, 1965

Bellatrix didn't fall back asleep after that dream, she sat on her balcony till the sun rose and the doors unlocked. Rita was leaving with her parents at noon, and Bellatrix hated that looming sadness that it cast over her.

After breakfast Bellatrix and Rita sat in the drawing room, Sirius and Regulus were with tutors, Narcissa was having tea with Kreature and Andromeda had been locked in her room for the day after she ate wrong at breakfast or something. They sat at the window sill like how they did in their common room, with Bellatrix sitting looking out the window and Rita laying across her legs and chest.

Bellatrix's pulse raced at the closeness, and she let it.

******

january 7th, 1965

After Rita left Bellatrix had a hard time in general, she was as good as ever, but she just felt so horrible. The rest of the break dragged on miserably and she barely talked to Reg. When the time to go to school came again Bellatrix was relieved.

She met with Rita at the station and their parents spoke for a moment, it was a good sign, then Bellatrix and Rita and her sisters boarded the train.

Narcissa and Andromeda went to other carriages while Bellatrix met with Eliza and Alecto.

"How was break?" Eliza asked,

"Lovely," Bellatrix lied, then she quit paying attention and stared out the window.

At some point she fell asleep on the train, Rita woke her up when they arrived. She was so sleep deprived, somehow at Hogwarts it felt safe to sleep, maybe it was just when Rita was near.

Chapter Text

January 13th, 1965

Since the end of break, Bellatrix and Rita were more inseparable than ever. Literally they were always touching in some way, whether their arms touched as they sat side by side in class, or they were practically laying on one another, there was always physical contact.

Bellatrix wondered if it kept her grounded, reminded her where she was, and who she was with.

The two sat in their common room looking out the window, it was dark and rainy, most students were in their dorms, but Bellatrix and Rita had agreed to stay with Alecto in the common room while she finished a potions assignment.

In the week of being back at Hogwarts the dark circles faded back to Bellatrix's normal paper white skin. She slept now, mostly with Rita beside her. Try as they both did to pretend there wasn't anything, there way, they both knew it, they both were accepting it, but they were both blind to the fact the other was thinking and feeling the same things.

Bellatrix found herself spacing out in class, being distracted and wholly focused on the point of contact between her and Rita instead of the lesson, still she never got anything below an O.

"You're playing Ravenclaw tomorrow right?" Rita asked, looking nervously out the window as rain continued to downpour.

"Yea,"

"What if it's raining?"

"Well I'll get wet probably," Bellatrix said,

******

January 14th, 1965

Bellatrix woke up at 8 the next saturday for her game, Slytherin's captain wanted to put in another practice in the morning before the afternoon game.

Rita braided Bellatrix's hair into twin dutch braids. Thankfully it wasn't going to rain though the field was muddy.

Despite Slytherin being on track to win the quidditch cup for the 3rd year in a row, and the house cup as well, Sebastian was on edge the whole practice, he even yelled at Bellatrix which was something no one did. Bellatrix had been going for the snitch when Alex ran into her on his broom, she screamed at him to watch out and then Sebastian intervened because Alex looked terrified as Bellatrix berated him.

"I DIDN'T EVEN BLOODY DO ANYTHING!" Bellatrix yelled after Sebastian screamed it had been her fault for diving through the game,

"TAKE A WALK BLACK!" Sebastian yelled,

Bellatrix opened her mouth to protest but Sebastian forestalled her, "One more word and you're benched for this game."

Bellatrix pressed her mouth into a thin line, she was good, but they could win without her. She turned her broom and flew down to where Rita was already waiting by the changing rooms.

"You ok?" Rita asked as Bellatrix made her way into the locker room.

"Fine," Bellatrix said through gritted teeth, sweat dripped slightly from her face. Rita waited while Bellatrix took a cold shower and re-dressed.

"You don't seem fine," Rita observed as Bellatrix stormed out of the showers and then out of the locker room.

"You saw him run into me right? You saw how that was one hundred percent not my fault at all!" Bellatrix said, her voice rising,

"I did see you dive into the drill without even seeing where other people were." Rita said carefully,

"I was going for the snitch! It's my only job!" Bellatrix seethed,

"I know," Rita said,

****RITA*****

A few hours later Rita had to re-do Bellatrix's braid for the game, then she was out on the field and then up in the air.

Rita watched as Bellatrix's eyes narrowed as she flew around in search of the snitch.

"And.... Avery is off with the ball!" Eliza said through the intercom, "10 points to Slytherin!" She yelled, cheers ran from the stands. Rita didn't really pay much attention to any part of the game other than Bellatrix.

Bellatrix's eye had caught something, she positioned herself and dove after the snitch.

"AND BLACK IS HEADING FOR THE SNITCH!" Eliza yelled over the intercom, "YES BELLATRIX GO!"

The ravenclaw seeker heard the announcement and turned to dive toward where Bellatrix was diving, the problem being that the Ravenclaw was closer.

Bellatrix pushed her broom faster, annoyed Eliza had given the ravenclaw seeker a tip-off even if that hadn't been her intention.

The ravenclaw seeker was going to get the snitch, Rita could see it, he had just been closer, Bellatrix was fast, she was practically on his tail, but the snitch was right there.

He reached out, Bellatrix sped up and rammed into his side.

Rita watched as everything seemed to slow down, Bellatrix's force and speed sent the two of them falling through the air. The coach blew the whistle as both players tried frantically to regain control of themselves and their brooms. The game stopped and everyone watched as the two seekers fell towards the ground.

Rita was frozen watching Bellatrix try to stop spinning mid-air.

Both of them were about to crash, Bellatrix got control of her broom and pulled up. She looked sick, like she was on the verge of throwing up.

Someone cast a spell and the ravenclaw seeker stopped falling. Bellatrix lowered herself to the field and her legs gave out as she fell, the world was spinning.

Rita was already on the field along with Narcissa, Andromeda, and the rest of both teams.

Rita didn't really care about the ravenclaw who was throwing up a few feet away. She went to Bellatrix who was sitting blinking in the grass.

****BELLATRIX******

Bellatrix was fine, the fall had scared her, but she wasn't hurt, just really dizzy and embarrassed. Everyone was landed and the ravenclaw was retching into the mud. Rita was beside Bellatrix as she stood up slowly and wobbled a little. She felt Rita's hands bracing her, then she saw Narcissa in front of her and Andromeda standing back.

"Are you hurt?" Her sister asked,

"No I'm fine, dizzy." Bellatrix answered, Rita let go of her but stood close enough so they were still touching.

The teams were talking to the coach. Bellatrix grabbed her broom and mounted it,

"What are you doing?!" Rita asked alarmed,

"Going to see the coach and tell them I'm fine and can play." Bellatrix said, before anyone could argue she flew over. The team flocked her immediately, asking if she was alright.

"Go to the nurse, you're out Black." Sebastian said,

"I'm fine!" Bellatrix said,

"Yes, and the ravenclaw seeker isn't," Sebastian said,

"He's just a little sick! That's not my fault!"

"But it is Bellatrix! You need to start taking some bloody accountability! That was a foul, you can't just do whatever you want! There are rules!" He scolded,

"I didn't mean to bump into him!" Bellatrix said, Sebastian crossed his arms,

"So you lost control? Because you didn't 'bump into him' you practically body slammed him!" He said,

Bellatrix reddened. "I didn't lose control!" Bellatrix said defensively, truthfully she had done it on purpose but she hadn't realized how fast they were already going. She just couldn't let them lose because of her, especially after that morning.

"Whatever!" Sebastian yelled, "I don't care! Go to the hospital wing! And you're benched!"

Bellatrix froze, "You can't bench me!"

"I just did."

Bellatrix's teeth clamped together, color rising in her cheeks, she looked around, everyone was quiet and watching them. It was almost funny with the way Bellatrix (who wasn't particularly tall for her age) screamed at Sebastian (who was like twice her size and 3 years older)

Bellatrix turned on her heel and stormed off the field, a professor asked if she needed help getting to the hospital wing but she just waved him off. Rita and Narcissa fell into step behind her.

Bellatrix flung open the doors to the hospital wing and seated herself on a bed to wait for a nurse to arrive since she had beaten them back from the game.

Rita sat beside her, Narcissa hung back, worried for Rita's safety when her sister was this pissed.

"Are you sure you're not hurt?" Narcissa asked softly

"I'm fine!" Bellatrix said snapped, she was so mad at herself for possibly losing the game and missing the snitch and being benched and being blamed when really she wouldn't have had to do that if Eliza hadn't bloody announced her play to the whole bloody stadium!

Soon enough a nurse entered and examined a very hostile Bellatrix who everyone was very glad did not have her wand and who dreaded the day she would do wandless magic.

Rita was shooed out because she wasn't family and Bellatrix ordered Narcissa to leave.

The ravenclaw was brought in, looking pale but fine. Soon enough the nurse dismissed him to go because he was fine. Bellatrix continued to wait to be allowed to leave.

After a half hour a nurse came over,

"Can I leave?" Bellatrix asked anxiously,

"You're good to go medically, but uhm, you need to wait for your head of house to come retrieve you." She said,

"What?" Bellatrix snapped, "I'm fine I can walk back alone!"

"It's not about that," The nurse said,

"I'm in trouble?" Bellatrix asked in annoyance and disbelief.

The nurse just sighed and walked away.

Bellatrix had to wait like three hours before Slughorn came to get her. Thankfully all the teachers adored her, other than Dumbledore but he was headmaster.

"Did we win?" Bellatrix asked when he walked in, Slughorn laughed, somehow Bellatrix realized she was getting out of this scratch free.

"Yes," He said. They left the hospital and he took Bellatrix to his office. When she entered she fought the urge to gag as it felt similar to how Orion would take her to his office.

*no,* she thought, *no I won't do this, this isn't that*

She shook herself out of it and sat down across from the professor.

"What exactly happened?" He asked,

"I was going for the snitch, Eliza announced it and the Ravenclaw was so much closer!" Bellatrix said,

"Take a breath Bellatrix," Slughorn chuckled, "You aren't in trouble, I just want to know what happened"

Bellatrix hated being told to take a breath, but she did, and scorn her it did help.

"He was closer, I was fast, faster but not fast enough when he had that much of a head start. I didn't realize how fast we were going and I was looking at the snitch and I drifted into him and I lost my grip a little and veered the broom towards him." Bellatrix said, it was part lie, part truth."

Slughorn smiled, "I think that clears everything up!"

He wasn't big on discipline, or anything other than being a 'good' teacher.

"Can I go?" Bellatrix asked,

The sun was already setting. "Yes, go." Slughorn said, with that, Bellatrix left and she knew nothing would be done about it, so when she returned to her dorm she brushed off Rita's concerns and questions, changed, read, and then went to sleep with Rita lying awake beside her.

No one really questioned that they slept in the same bed, it was just like a sleep over or something.

There was something -though not a lot, nothing visible, something under the surface of their skin, something into the depths of their hearts where it cannot be heard- that sparked, that fought against storms of rain and wind to stay alive.

Chapter Text

January 14th, 1965

It was nearly past curfew for third years as Bellatrix walked the long hallways through the castle to the Slytherin common room. Andromeda had complained about the common room, it was in the dungeons, she said it was dark and cold, maybe it was, but no darker or colder than their houses.

Bellatrix turned the corner to the statue that was the entrance to the common room. Rita was standing anxiously by the statue of a blindfolded woman with scales, when she saw Bellatrix approach her breath caught.

Normally Bellatrix was always incredibly neat in her appearance, her hair was never messy despite the curls, her uniform never had a wrinkle, she never had a speck of dust on her. But now, after she had been flying on a broom, and then not allowed to shower or change since the game...

Her braids had come partially undone, curls had fallen all around her face in a rather attractive way. Her Slytherin jersey had been pulled off and now was tied around her waist leaving only her black tank top on underneath. Normally Bellatrix wore long sleeve blouses, dresses, nightgowns, ect...

Bellatrix's face broke into a small smile at the sight of Rita, she always could cheer her up. Rita waited as Bellatrix approached her.

"Pure" Bellatrix said and the statue rotated to reveal the spiral staircase that led to their common room. They could already hear music as the students celebrated the win.

The girls entered the common room and then went up a flight of stairs to get to their dorm. Alecto was sitting on her bed, apparently waiting for Bellatrix because when they walked in she sprung up, an irritated look on her face.

"You could've cost us the game!" She exclaimed, Bellatrix raised an eyebrow, warning her friend to check her tone, because no one spoke to her like that. (other than Rita but that was different)

Alecto took a breath, "What happened?" She asked,

"We would've lost had I not done that," Bellatrix said,

"We could've lost since you were taken out." Alecto countered,

"Well it was a chance I was willing to take, now leave me alone," Bellatrix said before going to the bathroom and shutting the door.

*****

January 15th, 1965

Bellatrix woke up early as always and when she went down to the common room with Rita to go to breakfast Sebastian stood waiting for her. Bellatrix sighed, annoyed that this couldn't just be over with.

Sebastian spotted Bellatrix and walked over, "We need to talk," He said,

"I'll give you ten galleons if I don't have to have this conversation," Bellatrix said, money solved many of her problems,

"Not a chance," He snorted, "Let's go somewhere private"

"Whatever it is I don't care, and Rita will come, so let's save us all some time and just do this here." Bellatrix said,

"Fine," Sebastian said, his patience was wearing thin, if it had been anyone else they would've been off the team, but it was Bellatrix Black, and where her family name didn't save her, her skill did.

"What you did was unacceptable." He said,

"We would've lost had I not." Bellatrix said,

"You could've injured yourself and other people! It wouldn't have mattered who won then and you're lucky Norman is okay."

"Who is Norman?" Bellatrix asked confused,

"The Ravenclaw seeker!" Sebastian snapped, "Other people exist outside you Bellatrix, and not everything revolves around winning, you cheated."

"I won." Bellatrix said sternly,

"You're not even sorry?" Sebastian said, it was partly a question, Bellatrix didn't answer, Rita stood awkwardly behind her friend. He sighed, "What did Slughorn give you for punishment?"

"Nothing," Bellatrix said,

Sebastian raised his hands in disbelief, "You're good Black, you are. but not that good. And one day you're confidence will be your downfall."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes,

"You're benched for the season." He said, Bellatrix turned back to him,

"What?" She asked

"You heard me. You'll still practice with us, but you're not playing any games."

Bellatrix looked at him in disbelief,

"Maybe it will make you a better player, but I hope it makes you a better person." He said, and with that, he left.

Bellatrix turned to Rita, "Did that just happen?" She asked,

"Yea," Rita said,

"I can't- UGH!" She grabbed her wand and levitated a vase before throwing it to where Sebastian had stood. The vase shattered into a million pieces, Bellatrix closed her eyes and took a breath, "Reparo,"

The girls left the common room and went to breakfast, it was early on Sunday so almost no one was in the great hall. Bellatrix took a cup of tea and some fruit while Rita ate eggs and toast.

As Rita ate Bellatrix ranted while waving around a butter knife as she spoke,

"Trix, the knife is making me nervous, why don't we put it down?" Rita said when Bellatrix flung out her arms and the knife.

"Sorry," Bellatrix said, she put the knife back in the jam.

"We won, I don't get why anyone is upset!" Bellatrix complained,

"Because someone could've gotten hurt." Rita said calmly,

"But no one did! And with that logic everything should be upset about everything because there is always a chance someone gets hurt." Bellatrix said,

Rita sighed and relented knowing that it was best for Bellatrix to just rant it out.

After listening to Bellatrix curse Sebastian and his bloodline with a side of breakfast the girl met up with Alecto and Eliza so they could all go meet the boys at Hogsmeade.

"I went out with Henry the other day," Eliza said,

"Which one is that?" Rita asked, Eliza had so many boyfriends no one ever knew what guy she was referring to,

"5th year, Ravenclaw." She said, "Anyway, so the point of the story, we went out and then he tried to take me to his dorm!"

"You didn't go right?" Bellatrix asked,

"Give me some credit, of course I didn't, and when I didn't he got so mad! It was actually hilarious." Eliza said,

Silently Bellatrix judged her friend, she was always getting into situations with guys where it would be too easy for them to ruin her reputation.

"I heard Rita went to your house over the break," Alecto said, Eliza was rambling to Rita about Henry.

"Yes," Bellatrix said, "Well, my aunt's house."

She always liked Alecto, they had known each other since they were kids. They both understood what the other's family was like, they both understood the force necessary that others saw as excessive.

"I can't believe they let you do that," Alecto said,

"I didn't even know! My aunt told me, apparently it was Orion's idea." Bellatrix said, stuffing down repulsion at the name, even Alecto scowled at his name.

********

They arrived at Hogsmeade soon and went to meet the boys at the three broomsticks.

Lucius, Rabastian, and Amycus were already sitting at a table when the girls took off their coats and walked over.

Bellatrix sat on the end of the table between Rita and Alecto as the conversation picked up.

"So what's the deal with quidditch?" Amycus asked,

"I can't play in any games for the rest of the season," Bellatrix said with a huff,

"Only?" Amycus questioned, "I for sure thought you'd get in trouble."

Bellatrix rolled her eyes, her impatience for the subject to be forgotten evident, thankfully Rita changed the subject.

Bellatrix stayed silent for the most part, not having much thought on the conversation. Her focus was instead fixed upon Rita, her friend smiled warmly, there was a slight pink to her lips and cheeks from the cold, and her blonde hair fell in silky tresses over her shoulders.

Bellatrix thought about how Rita always smelled like parchment and citrus, it was now Bellatrix's favorite scent, it reminded her of lying in her bed with Rita beside her, so close together their hearts seemed to beat in sync.

Bellatrix was ready to get out of the loud crowded bar, she never did like warm spaces. The amount of bodies in the room made the temperature rise at least 5 degrees.

Bellatrix rose from her seat without a word and headed for the door to take a break.

Rita followed as Bellatrix walked out and then went around the building to sit in the snow. Her breath fogged in front of her as she just regulated herself. Rita sat beside her without a word and Bellatrix leaned her head on Rita's shoulder, the smell or parchment and citrus flooding her senses where in the bar the other smells contested it.

Rita laid her head atop Bellatrix's and breathed in the scent of dark french chocolate that was too bitter for anyone normal, and Bellatrix's perfume, it smelled expensive and strong, but Bellatrix never overdid it.

"Wanna go to Zonkos?" Rita asked,

"I've never been," Bellatrix admitted,

"You might hate it," Rita warned,

Bellatrix smiled and stood up. The two girls made their way to the loud buzzing store that was Zonko's joke shop. They walked in and Bellatrix stopped and looked around, Rita grabbed her hand and led her to a quiet part of the store that sold some silly items no one seemed interested in.

A gaggle of girls were flocked around one particular section of the store, "What's over there?" Bellatrix asked,

"Love potions," Rita answered,

"You're right I hate it," Bellatrix said, sneering at the ridiculous items in the shop, Rita laughed,

"I figured you would, but it was fun to watch you walk around."

The girls then left the shops and abandoned the idea of going anywhere is particular in favor of just walking around and eventually walking back to the castle.

Rita did enjoy spending time with other people, it was fun for her, but she enjoyed time with Bellatrix more, and Bellatrix tolerated very few people and only in small groups.

"How are your sisters?" Rita asked as they entered the castle,

"Narcissa's fine, Andromeda seems fine as well." Bellatrix answered,

"I talked to my parents, about you," Rita said, "They said you were welcome to visit during the summer, they even sent an owl to your parents about it."

"What did my parents say?" Bellatrix asked, she wasn't too concerned considering her parents seemed to actually like Rita's parents and Rita, as much as they liked anyone really.

"Nothing yet, my mum said she'd send an owl when she heard back."

Bellatrix nodded, knowing the chances of her going to Rita's this summer were slim to none, the chances of Rita coming to her house were slightly better.

The girls wandered the halls for the rest of the day, spending time in each other's company.

******

January 17th, 1965

******NARCISSA******

Narcissa was excited for the end of the year, she hated her friends so much it was genuinely hard to be around them. As horrible as her family was, they were always her's at the end of the day.

Andromeda was distant and the only person Narcissa actually enjoyed hanging out with was Bellatrix, and by extension Rita.

At first she thought it would feel like she was an annoying little sister, but Bellatrix and Rita seemed to like her company, plus Narcissa sensed Rita would be around more and since there was no way of getting Bellatrix away when Rita was there, the best she could manage was joining.

"Bella?" Narcissa asked as the three sat in the library reviewing,

"Yea?" Bellatrix said, turning from her essay to her sister,

"Can you help me, I'm having trouble with summoning charms."

Bellatrix pulled out a book and placed it on the table, "Show me what's you're doing,"

Narcissa took a breath and tried the spell, the book stirred but didn't move much more.

"You're telling it what to do, not asking, try again." Bellatrix said,

Narcissa did, the book went flying at her faster than she could react and only didn't bash her face in due to Bellatrix's counter spell.

"That one was your wand, you're gripping it too tight." Bellatrix said, she placed the book down again and positioned Narcissa.

The next time Narcissa succeeded and Bellatrix made her do it over and over with various items until she was confident it was fine.

"You're a good teacher," Rita said softly when Bellatrix returned to her essay, there was a kindness in her voice Narcissa never heard from anyone. Envy of her sister's friends burned in Narcissa's stomach, sometimes she wondered if that was the real reason she and Andy disliked Rita, but then again, so did Sirius and Regulus.

Rita left for a moment to go get something from her dorm and Narcissa decided to use this time to talk to Bellatrix,

"How did you and Rita meet?"

"The train, she walked into my compartment and sat down with me, but I saw her on the platform before that." Bellatrix answered,

"When were you her friend?"

Bellatrix paused, truthfully it hadn't been until a month into school when she realized Rita was her friend, and even then, friendship was new to Bellatrix and only through Rita's persistence did she accept the ordeal.

"I'm not sure, I think we were friends off the cuff, but I didn't call it that till a month later." Bellatrix answered, "How about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your friend, which one of those girls is your favorite again?" Bellatrix asked, referring to the three girls Narcissa shared a dorm with,

"Oh, I wouldn't call them friends, I don't like them very much,"

Bellatrix laughed as if Narcissa had said something funny.

Before anything else Rita returned and recaptured Bellatrix's attention. If Narcissa didn't know better she'd think the two were in love.

*****ANDROMEDA******

"Ted!" She called out, spotting her friend by the lake,

He smiled when he saw her and she came over to join him and his friends who were now her friends as well.

"Did you hear the new Drifter's song?" Penny asked,

"The what?" Andromeda questioned,

"It's a muggle band, sorry," Ted said,

"oh right!" Penny said, "I always forget you come from a magic family! Anyway, I can play it for you if you'd like?"

"Sure!" Andromeda said, trying to hide from the second comment,

Penny set the record into the player and started to play whatever the new drifters song was. Andromeda liked it fine, but music had never been an interest of her's.

"What did you think?" Penny asked eagerly when the record quit spinning,

"It was good," Andromeda said,

"I hate it," April chimed in,

"You only hate it because she plays it 24/7 in your dorm." Owen said smiling,

"Fine, but it's annoying after hearing it five times in a row." April said,

"Hearing you talk is annoying," Andromeda said smiling, it had been a joke, the kind she heard her sisters tell, but everyone stopped and stared at her,

"That was kinda mean Andy.." Penny said,

"Yea, it was just a joke," Owen said, they all looked like she had just insulted their mothers,

"Sorry, I was joking..." Andromeda said,

"Well it wasn't very funny," April said, and she seemed hurt,

"I didn't mean to upset you, I just, I thought that was how people joked," Andromeda said,

"It's fine, It wasn't meant to be mean." Ted said, no one else said anything, "Right?" He asked,

"Yea," Chris said tentatively,

"I guess..." April said,

An awkward silence filled the air and Andromeda excused herself with the excuse of homework. As she walked away she heard them whisper,

"She's usually really sweet.." Owen said,

"I don't know why she would say that." Penny said,

Andromeda picked up her pace as tears welled in her eyes. She feared she had made an irreparable mistake.

*****

Later Andromeda decided to go find her friends and apologize again, she found her way to the Hufflepuff common room and waited for someone to either come out or go in.

She waited for five minutes before the door opened and she came face to face with Ted,

"Oh!" He said, surprised to see her, "Hey,"

"Hi,"

"sooo, what's up?"

Andromeda looked down sheepishly, "I wanted to say sorry again, I didn't mean to upset anyone, I just thought that was okay to say." She said quietly, apologies were still new to her, but Ted was very understanding.

"It's okay, they know you didn't mean it maliciously," He said, but Andromeda didn't look any less upset so he invited her in.

She talked to April privately to apologize again, soon all was forgiven and Andromeda felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, she still was getting used to people being understanding and nice to her, but Ted was helping tremendously.

******BELLATRIX******

After their little study session, Bellatrix walked back to the common room with Rita and Narcissa. She was happy Rita and her sister were getting along.

*********

January 20th, 1965

"I can't believe I still have to go to practice if he isn't going to let me play.." Bellatrix grumbled as she walked outside with Rita who planned to do homework while Bellatrix practiced.

"Maybe he'll cave?" Rita asked,

"Not a chance," Bellatrix snorted, "But next year I can play and the captain will probably be Rudolphus so whatever."

"Are you and him good friends?" Rita asked tentatively, she had only seen the two interact a handful of times but they did dance together at Christmas.

"Just the whole family thing," Bellatrix said, she still had yet to tell Rita of her arrangement to marry Rudolphus, she wasn't sure why considering it didn't matter whether Rita knew or not.

Rita nodded.

Bellatrix worked hard at practice as always and tried her best to be a team player, thankfully as a seeker her job made it so the only person she had to rely on was herself.

After practice the girls went to History of Magic, ten minutes into class Rita was bored to death and halfway through the lesson Bellatrix found herself tuning out as well.

"I got an owl back from my parents," Rita whispered as Bins continued to drawl on about the founding of the ministry.

"What did it say?" Bellatrix asked,

Rita cleared her throat and quietly did an impression of a snobby rich british witch and relayed the contents of the letter to Bella, "Rita is welcome at our estate during the summer, if you would permit it, we would like to bring her to the quidditch world cup as it is taking place in France this year and we have another estate there."

"I didn't even know we were planning to go," Bellatrix muttered, "And my mother has never said she would 'like' to do anything,"

Rita smiled, "Maybe I'm paraphrasing, but I am coming to your house the first of July, and then apparently we're going to France for the week and the quidditch world cup."

"Why do you know more about my plans that me?" Bellatrix said goodnaturedly, truthfully she was ecstatic to be seeing Rita over the summer. "Do you know if my Aunt and Uncle are coming?"

"No, sorry, but probably and probably Regulus and Sirius as well." Rita answered, Bellatrix groaned at this,

"Whatever, they had their own place in France, if they come that's where they'd stay probably." Bellatrix said,

"Ladies!" Professor Bins said loudly, the girls jumped, the change of tone from their usually monotone ghost-professor startling them, "Please continue this conversation elsewhere."

"Yes sir," Bellatrix said,

"Sorry sir," Rita added,

Bins turned back around and continued his lecture.

******

"We have potions next?" Rita asked, Bellatrix nodded, she thought about all the Slug club meeting invitations she skipped throughout the past year and a half, she just had better uses for her time. Rita groaned, fortunately they were finally doing something interesting in class.

"Take your seats please." Slughorn said as the students filed into the room, Rita and Bellatrix took their usual table at the front.

"Today we're brewing a beautification potion," the professor announced, many of the girls started whispering, "Who can tell me what this potion does?" Almost every hand went up, "Yes, Malfoy."

"It makes the drinker become more visually appealing." Lucius said,

"Very good, 5 points to Slytherin!" Slughorn beamed, "And who can tell me the ingredients?"

Bellatrix's hand was already up from the first question and while many others dropped theirs Bellatrix's hand remained in the air,

"Miss Black?"

"Fairy wings. morning dew, rose petals, lady's mantle, unicorn tail hair, and ginger roots, in that order." Bellatrix answered,

"Correct! 5 points to Slytherin," Slughorn said, as he continued talking about different properties of the potion the chalk began writing the ingredients and instructions on the board.

Soon everyone was already starting on their potion.

Bellatrix barely looked at the instructions as she began to brew the concoction, already knowing what to do. Rita double checked everything she did, and often enlisted Bellatrix's help.

"I almost forgot, I'm inviting Alecto and Eliza to the astronomy tower Friday night at 10," Rita said,

"Why?" Bellatrix asked, a pang of jealousy shooting through her,

"There is some comet or something," Rita said as she mixed in her lady's mantle

"Isn't that after curfew?" She asked, trying to think of any reason to stop Rita from going,

"Yes, but I went and asked the Astronomy teacher and she said it would be fine." Rita said,

"Well have fun," Bellatrix said bitterly,

"Trix, I'm inviting you to come as well," Rita said smiling, amused at the fact Bellatrix didn't pick up on that fact,

"oh!" Bellatrix said, her cheeks coloring slightly, "Right. yea I'll come of course." Bellatrix said as she finally put the ginger roots into the potion and stirred it clockwise for three rotations as the potion took a light pink hue.

"Ok thought so," Rita said giggling,

"I'm gonna go give this to Slughorn," Bellatrix mumbled motioning to her potion, as usual she was the first to finish and it was perfect, she ladled some into a vial and went to give it to Slughorn.

When he saw her approach his desk he put down his book and she gave him the vial; He uncorked it and inspected it for a while before turning back to Bellatrix.

"I haven't seen you at any of the Slug Club meetings," He said quietly, Bellatrix wanted to tell him it was because there were better uses of her time but she refrained, instead she smiled sweetly,

"I've been busy sir," She said,

"Well, I've already sent invitations, but I am hosting a small party this friday, considering my leniency after your last quidditch match I would be grateful if you made an appearance," He said,

Bellatrix hesitated, she had already agreed to go with Rita to the astronomy tower, literally a second before, and she would much rather do that, but Slughorn wasn't giving her a chance, "I've made plans for Friday evening with a friend," she said,

"Well, I'm sure they will understand." Slughorn said brightly, "You can invite them as well!"

"Of course sir," Bellatrix said before turning on her heel and returning to Rita who was also getting ready to give her vial to Slughorn,

"Before I turn this in can you check it?" Rita asked examining her potion,

"Sure, but um, Slughorn just invited me personally to a Slug Club party Friday," She said,

"You've skipped all his meetings," Rita said with a scowl,

"Yes, but those were letters, he basically said I had to come especially considering he let me off for the quidditch thing practically scot-free." Bellatrix said,

"How long is the party?" Rita asked,

"I don't know I'll check the paper invitation when we get to our dorm, but they usually run late, so I can't come to the astronomy thing, well maybe I can if you're still up there when it's over," Bellatrix said apologetically,

Rita sighed, "Whatever, fine," and with that she went to give Slughorn the vial.

"I'm sorry," Bellatrix said when Rita returned,

"It's fine, he didn't really let you decide, I just wish you could come." Rita said though it did nothing to quench Bellatrix's guilt.

"I'll go to the tower after the party." Bellatrix said,

"Don't come if it's too late." Rita said,

******

Chapter Text

January 22nd, 1965

Bellatrix was in her dorm alone getting ready for Slughorn's party at which her presence was mandatory.

It was 8 and most students, including her roommates, were at dinner. She was to be there at 8:30 but the stupid place Slughorn had chosen was across the castle from the Slytherin common room, on the upside it was close to the astronomy tower.

She planned to go to the party with Rudolphus, it had been his idea but Bellatrix knew it was only at his parent's insistence he try to be more favorable to her especially after she caught him snogging some girl in his year a week ago. She threatened to tell his parents but truthfully she just wanted something to hold over his head.

She did tell Rita who then wrote an article about it, then his brother told his parents.

Bellatrix walked down the stairs from her dorm into the common room. She wore a simple floor-length black long sleeve dress. It was now 8:10 and to get to the other side of the castle would take 10 minutes. Rudolphus still wasn't down so Bellatrix sat at the window.

A few other older students were in the common room, at the window beside Bellatrix two boys pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

Bellatrix thought about Rita, her hair, her smile, her skin, she shook herself from the thoughts about her best friend that plagued her mind, sooner or later it would get her in trouble if she didn't master occlumency. Instead she shifted her mind to her family, she thought about Regulus and Sirius back at their house, with Orion.

Somehow she felt grateful it was them there and not here as horrible and selfish as it was. She was so fucking tired of taking the brunt of everything from everyone, it had been like that since she was little, and had been worse before Sirius was born.

When the family had a male heir Bellatrix was a forethought, but soon that changed and she returned to being the example.

Soon Rudolphus ascended the stairs that went from the common room down the to dorms under the lake. Bellatrix stood up and waited for him to approach her.

"Bellatrix," he greeted, Bellatrix sighed, she wondered whether he would ever get over his feelings over the arrangement considering they were useless,

"Rudolphus," Bellatrix said indifferently.

The two walked the long castle hallways till they reached the room Slughorn had sent the location of in the invitation in silence.

****RITA*****

Rita walked back to her dorm with her friends Eliza and Alecto. Their plan was to change and then head for the astronomy tower, Rita hoped she'd catch Trix before she left and even more so hoped she'd be able to join them after Slughorn's party.

As they descended to the common room Eliza spoke loudly about her new boyfriend William. He was the first guy she had officially called her boyfriend, but Rita didn't really think it counted.

Rita opened the door to their dorm and was disappointed to find Bellatrix had already left, still, maybe she could leave the party early.

Rita dressed in warm clothes since the tower was always cold, especially in winter. She kept glancing back at Bellatrix's bed, as if she would materialize out of thin air, Rita wouldn't be surprised if she did, it was well within her magical abilities.

For years Rita had tried to convince herself all she felt towards her friend was a mix of admiration and envy of her talents and beauty, and maybe it had started off as that, but as she grew to long for Bellatrix's touch she realized it ran much deeper. Still there were times Rita would deny that she felt it, but in the end it was futile and her opinions changed with the seasons.

"Ready?" Alecto asked, Rita snapped out of her daze and turned to her friends who were by the door,

"You two go, I'll catch up in a second." Rita said, her friends shrugged and left.

Rita grabbed her warmer cloak and put it on, a piece of parchment fell from the inside. She paused and retrieved it from the ground. Upon opening it she was greeted with Bellatrix's familiar handwriting. She smiled, over the times when they were apart letters were sent back and forth, each time Jupiter or Saturn arrived with a letter it became a better day. She grew familiar with Trix's beautiful cursive, the letters were always thick because she had a tendency to press down too hard with her quill, something that resulted in breaking many and running out of ink often.

*Rita,

I'm leaving now, but after the party I'll come to the tower, wait for me if you can. Again, I'm sorry for bailing on you right after agreeing to come.

Love Trix,*

Rita beamed at the note, mostly because of the end, she had always signed her letters with anything but love and she never signed anything but her name. It was moments and things like this that made Rita question if her feelings were wholly one-sided.

LIke she did with every letter from Bellatrix she summoned the book from the pin Bella had given her first year and tucked the note inside before using a binding spell to ensure it's safety, then she set out to catch up to Eliza and Alecto.

****BELLATRIX*****

Bellatrix and Rudolphus were among the first people to arrive at the party.

Immediately she caught Slughorn's eyes and he came over to welcome them and tell them to enjoy themselves with a promise to seek them out later. He left with a wink directed towards Rudolphus paired with some comment about how the two of them made a fine pair.

"Do I have to stay with you?" Rudolphus asked in a condescending tone as if she were a child he had been forced to watch over,

"I've half a mind to make you if only to ensure your own displeasure." Bellatrix snapped, she wasn't hurt by his unwillingness to be around her, rather off-put by the lack of grace he handled it with. Surely he understood she wasn't ecstatic about the arrangement.

"Sadist," he clipped,

"Maybe, but I'm a long way off from masochism, therefore my desire to have you far away from me overrides my elation your aggravation gives me." She said without looking at him. Without further exchange he left and Bellatrix found some corner to stand in until she could leave.

Social as she may be during family parties she didn't enjoy it one bit and only played the role because it was expected of her. Talking with people was aggravating, they always danced around what they meant and Bellatrix had little patience though she knew it was hypocritical of her considering she had adopted the same manner of speaking when around others.

Selfishly she wished she had asked Rita to come, it would've been enjoyable for both of them, but they would've been bored together. Bellatrix liked Rita for a number of reasons, one of them being her ability to speak freely and to the point, something Bellatrix longed to do; another being she gave Bellatrix the ability to do the same.

Narcissa and Regulus never spoke freely while Andromeda and Sirius spoke too freely, Bellatrix had learned to take both and switch between the two as needed, even then sometimes she was abhorred for being rude considering she put insults into big words and easily navigated conversations with people thrice her age while her peers would get a confused expression on their faces when she spoke.

Intelligence was something she greatly prided herself in, though while her family expected perfection in school they had no ambition for her to rise above anything but a wife of a powerful man. Still, she knew no man could hold a candle to her brightness and brilliance.

As the minutes dragged on students filled the room, most of whom Bellatrix knew, some of whom Bellatrix wrinkled her nose at. Partly why she had began ignoring Slughorn's invitations was the influx of people below her who were invited. Halfbloods, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and even Mudbloods made up the professor's merry band of students he considered to have potential.

A mudblood girl walked past her and Bellatrix recoiled trying to distance herself from the filth.

"Sann-de-bourbe," She muttered as the girl passed. It was a curse her family often uttered now that the wizarding world fell weaker and people were penalized for saying mudblood. It was the same thing just in french. The girl heard her, she knew she had, and apparently she spoke enough french, or just knew the nature of Bellatrix and her sentiments towards her kind (not that it was something she went to lengths to conceal.), and was offended enough to stiffen before walking away.

Good,

Bellatrix thought,

Bellatrix didn't really see the need for her presence at the party. Students danced and ate and spoke to one another. She was approached by a boy in her house and asked to dance but she just stared at him until he walked away, the others who had been wanting to do the same abandoned all delusion.

Despite what her mother said, Bellatrix was pretty, and as she grew older she only became more lovely though no one would dare approach her. She never saw herself in that light and didn't care for her own appearance though she took care of it because it was expected of her.

Between the sisters, Narcissa was the most classically beautiful, they all knew it, their mother had told them enough. None were ugly, but Cissa's long blonde hair and ice blue eyes set her apart, she truly took after their mother the most. If you could picture the stereotypical doll that would be the closest image to Narcissa. She was beloved by all, as much as anyone in their family was anyway.

Andromeda was a perfect mix of Druella and Cygnus though it didn't do her many favors. The combination resulted in ashy brown hair that wasn't curly or straight but rather quite frizzy since their mother insisted she brush it. Her eyes were a light brown, golden in some lights, probably her most remarkable feature. Her nose was flat and her lips were thin, but her face was proportionate in a way that made up for her average features.

Bellatrix was the spitting image of her father, sometimes she wondered if that was why her mother seemed to dislike her no matter how perfect she was. Large sunken nearly black eyes stood out against her strong jaw and high cheekbones. Her hair was thick everywhere and long black eyelashes tangled with each other and often fell into her eyes. Her mother still insisted on grooming her eyebrows in an attempt to make them 'neat', that seemed to be the biggest flaw in Bellatrix's appearance. She had a wild-dark look to her, like a black wild horse.

It was a stark contrast to her youngest sister, but she never found herself envying beauty, rather she always was able to appreciate it. She had larger concerns.

And hour passed, Bellatrix made a few laps around the room but always returned to sulking in the corner.

It was 10 now and Bellatrix was impatient to leave, most everyone was still there.

Before the end of the night Slughorn made good on his promise to seek Bellatrix out. He was slurring slightly, no doubt drunk. The smell was revolting and Bellatrix had to breathe through her nose, it brought forward memories of her father and uncle, memories she suppressed for her own piece of mind.

"I'm pleased you came!" He said, his face was puffy and red as he spoke, Bellatrix smiled as if she had any choice.

"It's been wonderful," She lied, the professor smiled, she was grateful for his state because it ensured a short conversation which was a rarity with the professor who talked till he and everyone else was blue in the face. Still, she wished he had found her earlier so she could've left. Still, after the conversation she could leave, and Slughorn probably wouldn't notice. She glanced at the clock on the wall, it was 10:15. Fortunately SLughorn didn't notice.

"I've been rather disappointed with your absences, you show great promise." He said, "It's a rare thing to be in the club, I hope you know that."

"Of course sir, and I'm honored but I do have many commitments." Bellatrix said, it wasn't true, she had the time, she didn't need to spend much time on school work even with her extra classes, plus art and music weren't really classes.

"Oh yes, I understand! Especially with quidditch, though I had heard you were benched from playing in the games for the rest of this year."

Bellatrix gritted her teeth, still upset at the consequences, she much preferred just being hexed, that was over much quicker. "Yes, well I'll play next year." She said, trying to keep her frustration hidden,

"Of course. That's the spirit!" He said, he lifted a hand to clap Bellatrix on the shoulder but thought better of it.

So he hasn't lost all cognitive power to the fire whiskey.

Bellatrix thought considering he had the self preservation not to touch Bellatrix.

She didn't say anything in response and he excused himself to go talk with some other poor soul. Bellatrix didn't spend another minute at that stupid party. She didn't bid anyone goodbye and left, quickly walking to the astronomy tower.

****RITA****

Rita checked the clock every few minutes, Bellatrix hadn't given a time, probably because she didn't know when she would have an opportunity to leave. Still she waited and watched. Eliza and Alecto didn't take notice of her looking at the clock every five minutes and were too engrossed staring out the open roof of the tower at the stars.

It was beautiful, and Rita knew at any moment the comets would start flying across the sky. It wasn't going to be a particularly large meteor shower so no one else was going to take interest in it but she had researched the stars a lot, partly because astronomy was a fun class and partly because Bellatrix and her family seemed to be near-obsessive over it.

There was still no sign of Bellatrix when the first comet shot across the sky, it wasn't very bright but Eliza and Alecto ooed and awed. It was pretty but Rita found it hard to enjoy without Bellatrix. She had been the only person Rita wanted to invite, but it would have seemed suspicious if she had only asked Bellatrix, still she hadn't asked Alecto and Eliza until Bellatrix agreed despite her telling Bella they had already been enlisted in the adventure.

When Bellatrix came back a minute later saying she couldn't go Rita had already told Eliza and Alecto since they were only at the next table so Rita deciding not to go was off the table.

Every minute or so another meteor would fly by until finally the time between each one stretched and then the show eventually ended. It was 9:45 now, Eliza and Alecto were yawning and starting to gather their things to go back to the dorm.

"I'm going to stay a little longer," Rita said, "I have homework to do and the sky helps more than the maps," She had finished her homework with Bellatrix, but now she wanted to wait a little longer for her.

"I'm sure Bellatrix already did her's, she'll probably let you copy," Eliza said,

"I'd rather do it myself, it's fun for me anyway," Rita said,

"You two weirdos are perfect for each other," Eliza said jokingly, Rita's cheeks burned and with that they left Rita alone.

Rita's mind wandered to each time someone had made any sort of comment or joke about her and Bellatrix's friendship, sometimes implying it was more though no one actually thought that. Bellatrix always got so defensive about it. Those were the times when she thought maybe her feelings were reciprocated were squashed as Bellatrix snapped.

10 minutes passed, and Rita told herself she would leave at 10, but 10 came and she found herself giving Bella an extra five minutes, which turned into an extra fifteen and finally at 10:17 she heard Bellatrix's footsteps climbing the tower.

Her earlier discontent over Bellatrix not coming evaporated as her face appeared in the door.

*******BELLATRIX******

She walked into the tower, hoping Rita had waited and was greeted by her warm smile.

"Did Alecto and Eliza leave already?" She asked,

"Yea, about..." Rita glanced at the clock "30 minutes ago."

Bellatrix walked over and sat beside Rita, "I'm sorry, I would've left way earlier but Slughorn had said he would seek me out later after I arrived so I had to wait for that and then he talked for like 15 minutes." She pulled a napkin out of a pocket and unfolded it to reveal two chocolate croissants. "They're pretty good, but when we get to France I'll buy you better ones,"

Rita took one and bit into it, it was more than good and she couldn't imagine any being better.

"Well this more than makes up for your missing the comets." Rita said, Bellatrix smiled.

They ate their croissants and stared out at the stars,

"What are they called in France?" Rita asked,

"Pain au Chocolat." Bellatrix said,

Rita loved when Bellatrix spoke french, it was always so much softer and sweeter than english.

"Pain au Chocolat," Rita repeated, trying her best not to butcher the language yet failing, Bellatrix cringed,

"Maybe don't speak french in front of my family, or anyone in France," She said smiling,

"That bad?" Rita asked,

"Honestly I've heard worse," Bellatrix answered.

The girls were in the tower till midnight, talking and laying on the tile staring at the stars and, whenever the other wasn't looking, each other under the starlight. Bellatrix could name every constellation and star in sight from memory. Eventually Rita asked Bellatrix to speak french to her and Bellatrix obliged.

"Quand J'étais petite, avant mes cousins était née, ma tante m'a prise à Paris pendant l'été, et on a visité un musée et je me suis fait perdu car je regardais les statuts et ma tante n'a pas réalisé j'étais pas avec elle. Je crois c'était au moins deux heures avant j'ai réalisé j'étais perdu. Éventuellement j'ai trouvé quelqu'un et ils ont me ramène à ma tante." Bellatrix said, what she didn't say was after she was brought back to her aunt they went back home and she was crucioed for not paying attention and getting lost.

Rita didn't ask what Bellatrix was saying, she didn't care, she just liked the sound of it.

When they did go back to their dorms they had to walk quietly and after Rita ran into a suit of armor Bellatrix cast lumos to light their way. Their roommates were asleep, and they were tired.

Bellatrix was at her Uncle's house with Rita again. They were sitting in her room, heads touching, holding hands.

"How long are you going to pretend," Rita asked softly,

"What do you mean?" Bellatrix answered,

"That you're not broken. That you're not in love with me." Rita answered, and she pulled away from Bellatrix with a sneer, "It's disgusting."

Bellatrix opened and closed her mouth trying to answer when the door slammed open and Orion stormed in and grabbed her by the hair before she could react.

"How long Bellatrix?!" He shouted, Bellatrix felt like her heart was beating out of her chest, she struggled to breathe or even move. When she didn't answer Orion threw her down and went to Rita.

Bellatrix tried to scream, for anyone to come, for him to stop, but no sound came out.

"Pathetic." He hissed, then his wand was digging into Rita's throat. "This is your fault." Orion said as Rita screamed the way her sisters did when she had to crucio them. Bellatrix was frozen, unable to move, unable to stop it.

Through the screams Rita begged Bellatrix to stop Orion, to help her. But she just sat there.

Orion laughed, "You can't do anything, you can't stop me. You can't stop me from hurting you, and you can't stop me from hurting her, and you can't even protect little Regulus. You're nothing, you're worthless and used. It's laughable to even think Rita would ever love you."

Tears ran down Bellatrix's face, she can't even see and the only sounds leaving her and strangled cries.

She eyes open and she sees darkness, she can't move. Orion is gone, she's back at Hogwarts, Rita is sleeping beside her. She's sweating, her face is wet, it was a dream, just a dream, no a nightmare. She didn't wake anyone else. She's stiff, frozen, the realization it wasn't real does little to comfort her as she lays paralyzed with fear.

Finally her limbs unlock but she already knows there's no chance of going back to sleep.

*******

January 23rd, 1965

The sun rose and Bellatrix had already been up. After an hour of laying there she got up and quietly went down to the common room where she sat in the window and watched the snow fall. Her breath fogged the glass and she could feel the chill through the window. It was cold, her fingers were numb but she didn't care.

She wasn't sure which part of the dream had been worse. When Orion hurt Rita, when Rita's screams turned into those she had heard a million times, when she couldn't move, when Rita pushed her away and said she was disgusting. All of it haunted her, all of it made her hate herself and want to crawl out of her skin.

The thing she hated most was that while it was a nightmare, it could very well be reality. There were no monsters with horns and claws that chased her, no, there were only monsters who could hurt her because of one weakness, love. There was no telling herself the monsters weren't real, that they were figments of her imagination the way she would when Narcissa dreamt of snarling beasts. They were real, and they were close, so close.

She didn't know how much time passed but eventually the common room stirred as students woke, at some point she imagined what Regulus would do. How he would join her, sitting far enough away that they weren't touching but close enough for comfort. She wished he were here.

Instead Rita joined her by the window, she knew something was wrong, she didn't press, Bellatrix would tell her when she could, she always did.

Chapter Text

January 23, 1965

Rita's head rested against Bellatrix's shoulder as they sat together in the window. The nightmare replaying over and over in her head. Rita's presence gave Bellatrix a mix of comfort and distress. She felt like any second Rita would look at her the way she had in the dream, with disdain and disgust. Still, she was glad Rita was there because if she was there she wasn't at Orion's mercy.

The sun was still new in the sky and it painted the clouds golden and pink. Bellatrix hated sunrises, it was always a sign of a restless night for her, or it meant the next day was there, she couldn't hide anymore under the cover of darkness, she would have to push through every social interaction of the day.

Rita looked tired, she had probably woken earlier because Bellatrix had left. It wasn't weird for them to sleep in the same bed, not when they had been doing it so long. It was a sleepover between friends, that's what they told themselves each time they felt the brush of the other's skin that sent a fire through their body. It seemed to be a power of Rita's to always know where Bellatrix was. Any night Bellatrix didn't sleep, Rita didn't sleep.

Rita watched Bellatrix subtly, she scanned her friend's face, assessing the circles beneath her eyes that were too wide, her face was always tense after not sleeping.

"Did I wake you up?" Bellatrix asked, her throat was dry and quiet.

That's when Rita knew it was different from her usual insomnia, something had happened because for the first time Bellatrix sounded weak, something she never did, not even when her guard was down and it was just the two of them.

"No, I woke up later and you weren't there so I came down." Rita answered, looking at Bellatrix with concern.

As she analyzed what could possibly make Bellatrix look and act this way other students began to enter and as Bellatrix noticed she snapped out of the moment she allowed herself to be absolutely crushed. The look only lingered in her eyes and only if you knew what to look for.

Thank merlin it was a saturday, Bellatrix always felt high-strung after not sleeping and while she could power through the day and do everything she needed to most of the time, it was miserable for her and everyone else who had to deal with her.

"Can we go somewhere?" Bellatrix asked, her voice had returned.

"Where?" Rita asked,

"Somewhere quiet and dark and alone." Bellatrix said,

"Okay," Rita rose from the cushion and Bellatrix followed suit.

The girls left the common room in silence and started walking through the halls, taking turns in the opposite direction of anyone they saw. They didn't really know where they were going, but it didn't really matter.

Rita watched Bellatrix, wary of her friend who seemed off, more so than ever, still she would wait until Bellatrix broached the subject. Nothing good ever came of trying to direct Bellatrix or god-forbid force her into something.

As they walked down a hall a door materialized in front of them and they paused.

"You saw that right? Because I didn't sleep well but I don't think I've reached a point of hallucination." Bellatrix said,

"No I did," Rita answered, she walked towards the door and pulled the handle. Inside it was dim and cool, it smelled like the shampoo Rita used. Bellatrix joined her at the threshold.

"Lumos." She muttered, the light from her wand illuminated the dark room. There was a bed and a couch, both looked comfortable and Bellatrix remembered how tired she was. A wave of pleasant exhaustion hit her, relief followed, normally after not sleeping she was strung tight as a wire and didn't sleep till she physically dropped, and even then her mind would continue to race.

In the corner of the room was a small lamp, Rita went over to turn it on. It cast a subtle glow around the room. Bellatrix put her light out and let the door close behind her. The noise of the castle faded immediately.

Bellatrix and Rita went to the couch and sat down, thankful no one would look for them today, no one important anyway.

"What is this place?" Bellatrix asked Rita, thinking her friend had brought her here intentionally since it matched her needs perfectly.

"I don't know," Rita said, "I swear I've passed here a hundred times going to history of magic and I've never even seen a door here."

"Are we allowed to be here?" Bellatrix asked, Rita shrugged,

"I guess we'll find out."

*****RITA*****

Between the quiet, the dark, Rita's presence, and whatever magic encased the room Bellatrix lasted a full five minutes before sleep grabbed hold of her. Her head rested on Rita's lap. Rita smiled at the sight, she didn't think Bellatrix ever fell asleep that quickly, almost as if it was unnatural to do so, and maybe for her it was.

Rita always thought constantly being on guard and always being so tense and working hard Bellatrix would have an easier time sleeping, but it always took a lot for her to relax into the peace and calm.

She watched Bellatrix's face relaxed, more so than usual and for a fleeting moment until her chest rose and fell she wondered if something was wrong. Even in sleep Bellatrix's face remained tense, but now it was slack and she looked 14 for the first time in a long time. Rita couldn't help thinking that Bellatrix looked more beautiful than ever like this, something clawed at her chest at the understanding that even at rest, Bellatrix was never at peace.

A pang of hurt ran through her as she realized even when it was just the two of them Bellatrix couldn't fully let go. She shook it off, it was a stupid concern, and anyway, here she was, fully letting go, and Rita was there to see it. Plus, it's not like it was Bellatrix's fault, Rita figured if she had lived in Bella's house her whole life she wouldn't trust a single person, not after the people you're supposed to feel safe around failed you so miserably.

******BELLATRIX******

When she woke, Rita was stroking her hair lightly, and Bellatrix had half a mind to pretend she was still asleep, but Rita had already noticed the tension return to Bellatrix's face and body as she tensed again with the tell-tale sign she was conscious.

Bellatrix opened her eyes, Rita was smiling slightly.

"What time is it?" Bellatrix asked, she still felt relaxed, like someone was forcibly trying to fix her. It was annoying but helpful at the same time. Still, it made her feel vulnerable.

She had a good rest without any interference from her subconscious and part of her screamed at the thought of having to leave while the other part screamed at her to get out since there was clearly some spell fucking with her.

"I'm not sure," Rita answered, "I think it's been almost five hours, so probably around noon."

"You sat here for five hours?" Bellatrix asked, "didn't you get uncomfortable?"

Rita paused, she should have, every nerve in her should be screaming at her to move, but she felt fine. "Oddly enough no."

"I think there is a spell here or something," Bellatrix said as she rose,

"Really?" Rita asked,

"There's something wrong with this room, not in a bad way, but it's doing something." Bellatrix said, "I'll go to the library and try and figure it out."

"I'll come," Rita said, as if it wasn't a given, "I need to do homework."

As they left the room Bellatrix's senses returned and she felt normal aside from being less irritable and tired, but those were welcome changes. She suspected it wouldn't last long, nothing good ever did.

*****

In the library Bellatrix found out two things, 1, it was 1pm so she had slept for 6 hours in that room, and that 'that room' was magic. Bellatrix found some old text on it, really it was just a story but it fit perfectly.

According to the text it was the room of requirement, and wasn't wide spread knowledge. She spent the rest of the day trying to find more about it but there was next to nothing. The lack of information bothered her.

Back in their dorm, Rita and Bellatrix lay side by side on the bed together,

"Are we going to tell anyone else about the room?" Rita asked,

"I think it's something we should keep to ourselves, just in case." Bellatrix said, the truth was there was no just in case, but Bellatrix needed somewhere she could be unbothered.

Despite having slept past noon that day, Bellatrix found herself slipping into sleep's embrace once again.

Bellatrix woke with a start, she sat alone in Orion's office. It was cold, goosebumps covered her bare arms and legs.

Bare, she was bare. She sat on the cold chair with nothing on, instinctively she covered herself with her arms. She heard voices and footsteps outside. She strained to hear them but couldn't make out what was being said.

She moved to get up, to run, to leave but chains snaked out of the arms and legs of the chair and bound her to it.

Panic rose in her as she struggled against the chains but they just tightened. She craned her head towards the door as whoever it was approached. The door opened and white light engulfed the room, Bellatrix was blinded by it. She closed her eyes and turned away.

"Trix?" A voice rang out,

"TRIX!?" More frantic, Rita's voice, Rita's nickname.

"Rita?" Bellatrix called, she meant to scream but it came out a whisper, her throat was swollen and it made it hard to speak. She looked down, she wore a black gown, underneath a corset felt too tight and made it hard to breathe or move.

She tried to lift an arm to try and loosen the garment but they were too heavy, she turned her head to discover it was pearls that weighed down the limbs.

"Trix?" Rita called out again, she was closer.

All around Bellatrix was white so bright it hurt her eyes. It seemed like she was suspended in the air but she felt something solid beneath her.

Above her, the top of the room turned into a screen, or was it a window?

It showed Rita coming into a room identical to the one Bellatrix was trapped in now. In the room lay Bellatrix, but it wasn't her, because she was here. Rita rushed to fake-Bellatrix, something inside real-Bellatrix felt fear, her heart beat out of her chest and she struggled to move, to speak, to do anything but lay there. An overwhelming sense of dread engulfed her though there was no immediate threat.

She watched as Rita who had sounded worried for Bellatrix moments before walked cautiously towards the fake-Bellatrix with apprehension, like she was a vicious dog. The clone just layed there, not moving. When Rita got within arms length the fake-Bellatrix sprang up and grabbed her.

Real-Bellatrix screamed, or tried to, it came out as more of a choked sob as she watched herself pin Rita to the floor. Rita cried out in pain,

"Trix!" She screamed, her voice pleading, real-Bellatrix fought, trying to get up, to go help her but she couldn't do anything except lie there and watch and Rita begged and cried as fake-Bellatrix took out her wand.

A voice rang out, "Do it."

It was her mother's, she said it the same way she would when she told Bellatrix to punish her sisters.

"Crucio!" Fake-Bellatrix screamed, a bolt of red light sprouted from her wand and hit Rita who fell to the floor screaming terribly.

Tears ran down real-Bellatrix's face as she watched helplessly as Rita begged the girl who was her best friend to stop.

Fake-Bellatrix didn't even flinch.

Waves of exhaustion ran over real-Bellatrix, as if each moment leeched strength from her.

Soon she couldn't do anything but lay there as tears ran down her cheeks and clouded her vision. She wished above all else they would impair her ears so she didn't have to hear Rita's screams and pleading voice ring out.

Eventually Rita went limp, and Bellatrix wondered if she was dead, she would be better off dead. Bellatrix should want her to be dead, but selfishly she didn't she wanted her to be alive more than anything. She wouldn't be able to live if Rita was dead, even if she had to spend eternity watching Rita be tortured, it was easier than her being dead.

Fake-Bellatrix grew taller and broader until instead it was Orion standing over an unconscious Rita. New fear raced through Bellatrix as Orion appeared. He turned to whatever was allowing Bellatrix to watch and spoke to her. His black eyes bore into her,

"You did this." He said,

"No," Bellatrix whispered,

"Yes you did, you did this to her, you did it to your sisters, you did it to you cousins." He said, he was smiling, his teeth were red with blood.

"You made me," Bellatrix said weakly, Orion shook his head and stepped back. Instead of Rita, Bellatrix saw herself before Orion. He raised his hand and smacked fake-Bellatrix across the face, but real Bellatrix felt it and the pain made her head swim.

"You did this to her, just as you made me hurt her for what you wanted, for your selfish filthy queer desires." Orion spit, before Bellatrix could register anything pain split her, it was like nothing she had ever felt. She screamed and tasted blood as it bubbled up in her throat, and then nothing.

********

January 24th, 1965

Bellatrix's eyes shot open and all she remembered was pain, it took her a few minutes to remember that it was just a dream, she was safe, it was fine. Still, she was frozen and a cold sweat coated her body.

When her muscles un-tensed she sat up slowly so she didn't disturb Rita. She reached over and grabbed her wand from the dresser. Her feet fell softly on the wood floor as she made her way to the bathroom.

She quietly closed the door behind her and turned on the light which blinded her for a moment, for a moment she wondered if she'd be transported back to that horrible bright room from her nightmare.

That's ridiculous, She thought I've never even been there in reality She shook herself and pulled out her wand. She grabbed a glass beside the sink,

"Aguamenti" She whispered, the glass filled with ice cold water that she drank slowly, willing her throat to return to normal. She ran her hands under the sink for a few seconds before bringing some water up to splash her face, as if it would cleanse her mind from the torture she had just put herself through.

She stayed in the bathroom for longer than she should have, just trying to shake the clawing desperation and terror that followed her from the realm of dreams.

She climbed back into bed only and hour before the sun rose, but she didn't sleep.

******

Rita woke at 9 and Bellatrix pretended to wake up at the same time, as if she hadn't been up for hours. She was tired and tense and in a bad mood and she wondered what she would do if she kept being un-able to sleep when the weekend was over the next day.

*******

January 25th, 1965

Bellatrix was in a long hallway, it was one from her house, dark and cold like it was in december. When she looked behind her, her father's office loomed, he sat behind his desk and she knew that if he saw her he would call her in. In front of her was the drawing room with her sisters and cousins, they were laughing, happy, the way they were when they were younger.

She took a step towards the drawing room and a bang came from behind her. She turned, her father saw her and now stood behind his desk, wand drawn.

"Bellatrix, come here." He said, his voice was low and menacing. Normally Bellatrix would obey like the dutiful daughter she was, but each and every part of her screamed to go to the drawing room.

She stood frozen for a moment, her head looking from side to side, then she turned to the drawing room and ran. A livid scream ripped through the air, the halls echoed it. Bellatrix turned her head backwards as she ran to see her father still standing behind his desk, but a dark figure chasing her. From the split second her head was turned she saw the creatures bloody clawed hands that reached for her. It was black but it's eyes gleamed red, the perfect shade of blood.

Bellatrix screamed and ran faster, but her feet were in the heels her mother forced her to wear at the ball and she landed wrong on the tiny point that was supposed to sustain her weight. She felt her ankle roll and cried out as she tried to continue forward but the hall seemed endless and as far as she got it seemed the room kept getting further.

She called out for her sisters to help her but they seemed not to hear and the beast drew closer.

Once again, Bellatrix woke, and if she hadn't been locked in place she was sure she'd be thrashing. Maybe it was a blessing she couldn't move, it stopped her from clawing out until she calmed down enough. Still, she wished she couldn't control it and someone was forced to help her, because she would never tell anyone.

Still, Rita stirred as Bellatrix attempted to calm her racing heart and erratic breathing.

"Trix?" She whispered, Bellatrix was still too shocked to answer and the noise that came out of her was pitiful.

At this Rita woke up more, concerned for her friend. She pulled back the curtain around her bed, the moonlight illuminated the tears on Bellatrix's face, along with her chest rising and falling rapidly.

Rita simply folded Bellatrix into her arms, Bella's long nails clawed into her arms as she searched for stability. Rita didn't mind.

"It's okay," Rita said softly, her head nuzzled into Bellatrix's hair, she breathed in the scent, it was some expensive french conditioner. "It was just a dream, it's okay," Rita said, Bellatrix didn't really hear her over the rush of blood and the heartbeat that pounded in her head but the pressure of Rita holding her was comforting, as was her scent.

Finally Bellatrix's heart-rate steadied but Rita didn't let go. After an hour Bellatrix fell back into sleep while Rita stayed awake, fending off nightmares that tried to creep into Bellatrix's mind.

*****

Bellatrix woke and Rita was still sitting in the same position, still awake.

Bellatrix uncurled herself from Rita who seemed to realize they needed to get ready for class. The two didn't say anything, both were so exhausted there was no room for words. They dressed in silence and went to the great hall. Rita stayed closer to Bellatrix was usual, her hand always was touching Bellatrix in someway, trying to steady her.

Narcissa and Andromeda took separate notes as they watched Bella and Rita enter the great hall, both with matching purple circles beneath their eyes.

Narcissa noticed the way Rita's hand never left Bellatrix and the way she stared at her sister with concern, like she was fragile, and for the first time, Bellatrix looked fragile. Slightly so, but it was undoubtedly there. Narcissa wondered just how deep their bond went and for the first time she found herself questioning the extent of her sister's pureness.

Andromeda noticed the same things but she found herself detesting Rita even more, blaming the changes on her and resolving to tell Bellatrix how she felt about Rita and how much of a bad influence she was. Andromeda had watched her sister drift away for three years, she had listened to Bellatrix chastise and dismiss her whenever Rita was around, and now even when she wasn't.

******

Bellatrix moved through the day in a daze, trying her best not to curse everyone who so much as looked at her.

She felt like the world was against her, and soon Rita's soothing hand turned into a burden. Bellatrix had the sense Rita hated her, that she was doing this out of obligation. She hated herself even more for relishing in Rita's touch, she tried to brush away all the horrible impure thoughts that crossed her mind, but it was hard with the feeling of Rita's long warm fingers on her arm, or back, or thigh. It wasn't intentional of Rita and that made it worse. All of her focus narrowed to that one point of contact, wherever it was and it grew heavy and irritated.

"Will you quit!" Bellatrix snapped as they sat together in charms, she wrenched her arm out of Rita's reach. It was nearly the end of the day, all that was left was astronomy and that wasn't until 7.

Rita looked at Bellatrix, stunned and hurt.

"I'm sorry," Rita said softly, "I didn't mean to upset you, I wish you had said something earlier. I just figure it would be comforting, since... you know."

Bellatrix's face twisted into a scowl at the mention of her weakness. "Well it's not, and it wasn't a big deal." Bellatrix said, the lack of sleep had made her surly and self-loathing, she dealt with that by turning it outwards

Rita's face hardened, she grew pissed off at Bellatrix's stubbornness, she hated the game of hot and cold Bellatrix played, she never knew what side of her she was going to get.

"Fine," Rita said, she turned away and didn't look back towards Bellatrix who stormed off the second Flitwick dismissed them.

Chapter Text

Bellatrix stormed out of the class, she was so irritated and not really sure why. She didn't know where she was going. As she walked quickly through the castle she ran into someone.

Without thinking she drew her wand to curse them but before she could the person snatched it. As her anger simmered she saw it was Rudolphus.

"Trying to curse me now?" He asked, "And I thought we were starting to really become a good couple." he said sarcastically, Bellatrix straightened,

"Give me back my wand." She said, he handed it back to her,

"What's the problem?" He asked,

"Why would I tell you?" She snapped, he shrugged,

"Who am I going to tell?" He said,

"I'm just irritated. I haven't slept well." She hissed,

"What's your excuse all the other times?" He asked smugly,

Bellatrix scowled, "Shut it," She started to go around him but he just moved in front of her,

"Ok," he said, smiling, "Sorry,"

"Just get out of my way and leave me alone."

"I can't do that,"

"Why not?"

She was really re-thinking cursing him now.

"Orders from our parents."

"We aren't married yet and they aren't here." Bellatrix hissed,

"My brother is and he'll do anything to make sure I get in trouble."

Bellatrix was a little stunned by this, she always did whatever she could to make sure Andy and Cissa got in the least trouble, even if it meant she did.

"What do they even want!" Bellatrix screamed, and stomped her foot,

"Stop acting like a five year old." Rudolphus chastised,

"I'm bloody mad and tired and you're in my way!" Bellatrix screamed, he rolled his eyes, "You never bloody want to talk to me and the one time I really don't want to you chose to force it on me!"

"You've no right to be mad at me, it's not my fault we're being forced to marry." He said, she hated how calm he was, she hated how she was screaming at him and he just stood there amused as if he wasn't scared of her. He should be.

"I'M NOT MAD ABOUT THAT I'M MAD YOU WONT JUST LEAVE ME ALONE RIGHT NOW!" Bellatrix roared, her voice echoed through the castle, immediately her throat hurt. She was flushed and breathing heavily,

Rudolphus recoiled without a word and Bellatrix brushed passed him, heading for the dorms.

She wasn't really sure what happened but when she came to Rita was cleaning up broken things and Bellatrix was in her bed. Rita saw Bellatrix was awake and stopped,

"What time is it?" Bellatrix asked,

"7:30, you didn't come to Astronomy," Rita said, "I covered for you, said you didn't feel well earlier and asked if I could come check on you. You were asleep but you broke basically anything breakable, I repaired most of it but I have to do each thing individually and I'm trying to be quiet so you can sleep."

Bellatrix didn't answer, Rita continued after a moment,

"Do you feel better?" She asked, Bellatrix nodded,

"Sorry I snapped at you in charms," She said, it sounded strange to apologize but it's something people do. "I was tired,"

"It's fine," Rita said, "You didn't sleep well. I'm not sure what you've been dreaming about but I don't like it when something makes you that scared."

"I wasn't scared," Bellatrix said, she meant it defensively but it was half-hearted,

"Go back to sleep," Rita said, noticing Bellatrix's eyes drooping again,

*******

January 26th, 1965

Bellatrix was granted peaceful sleep to her relief, but her mind ran through the nightmares in her waking hours. She found herself more nervous to be around Rita, as if she would see something Bellatrix herself denied but was still there. As if Rita would turn and tell her she was broken and disgusting for the thoughts that entered her mind when Rita was around.

*****

January 27th, 1965

Bellatrix sat in the great hall with her friends, though her mind was else where. She thought back to Christmas her first year after Hogwarts, of Orion and what he had done to her.

She was shaken from her thoughts when one of her family’s owls landed in front of her. She removed the letter tied to its leg and then the owl was gone.

*
Dear Bellatrix,

I have written to inform you that this summer Rita Skeeter shall accompany us to France for the quidditch world cup. Her parents have already agreed. Remember, she, your sisters, and cousins are your responsibility. She and her family have won our favorable opinions, do make sure this does not change. Toujours pur.

Sincèrement Druella Black
*

Bellatrix smiled at the letter, Rita had already told her but now it was set in stone. Still she worried about a million things.

Rita peered over Bellatrix’s shoulder and read the letter.

****

Later Narcissa approached Bellatrix in the common room.

“What did the letter say?” She asked

“None of your concern.” Bellatrix replied, she didn’t want to tell anyone in case it would ruin it.

“I want to know.”

“Shame,”

“It’s about Rita isn’t it?” Narcissa folded her arms,

“What makes you say that?” Bellatrix replied, her face was a mask of cool indifference though internally she cursed herself for being so transparent.

“You tell me everything unless it concerns her.”

“I don’t tell you everything,”

She thought of all the secrets she kept from her sisters. Things about their mother and father, things about Rita, Orion. All of these were closely guarded subjects. She would lock them in Azkaban rather than showing anyone.

“Well you tell me most things.” Narcissa huffed, “and I usually figure out the rest on my own. You’re not as special as you think Bella,”

Bellatrix narrowed her eyes, “what on earth are you talking about Cissa?”

Narcissa shifted uneasily, “I know what happens behind closed doors. You were gone for two years before I came to school, and when you were gone it was Andy, and when she was gone it was me.”

Panic flared inside Bellatrix, it couldn’t all be for nothing. She couldn’t have tried so hard to keep them safe by being the one in the line of fire for it to have not mattered, it was bad enough she couldn’t save Regulus.

Bellatrix stood and grabbed Narcissa’s wrist, she yelped as her sister’s nails dug into her skin.

Bellatrix dragged Cissa to her down and closed the door behind her. Then she cast a silencing charm around them and locked the door.

“What are you saying?” Bellatrix hissed, fury burned in her veins and rage was apparent in her wild gaze. Narcissa felt scared of her.

“You know what I’m saying Bella.” Narcissa murmured, “You know I’m talking about more than the cruel punishments we endure at our parents’ hands. You know what Orion does and I’m surprised it never occurred to someone as smart as you he wouldn’t stop.” Tears welled in Cissa’s pretty blue eyes.

Bellatrix clenched her hands, she was shaking. Narcissa, beautiful, innocent, sweet, young Narcissa. Her baby sister. Orion would pay, he would pay for each and every one of them. She wanted him dead for all he did, and she hated herself for being so naive to think it would stop with her if she just let it happen. She felt foolish, and she swore to never feel that way again.

“Get out.” Bellatrix said quietly, and as much as Narcissa wanted to argue the fire in Bellatrix’s eyes silenced her.

Bellatrix paced around her dorm, raking her brain for an answer. Then it came to her. She couldn’t directly kill Orion or hurt him, not yet, but maybe she could protect them, maybe she was powerful enough for an enchantment.

No teachers would give her information on the kind of thing she needed, she already knew that, and it would be in the restricted section. No, she needed someone else, someone who knew everything.

The bloody Baron. The ghost of Slytherin.

All other thoughts left her mind as she rushed up the stairs of the tower, he would be at the top.

At the very top of the tower, in the dark and dust sat the old ghost. Bellatrix opened the door and walked in.

“Excuse me?” She asked, if she was afraid her desperation and fear of much scarier monsters overruled it.

The ghost looked at her, “You dare?” He hissed,

She stood up straighter, “I need help.” The words tasted strange in her mouth.

The ghost scoffed, “I don’t do homework child.”

“Please, I need to stop him.” Bellatrix begged,

“Who are you?” The ghost asked, he seemed more intrigued,

“Bellatrix of the most noble and ancient house of Black.” She answered,

The bloody Baron mused for a moment, “how old are you?”

“13,”

“Little young to carry such a burden.” He replied,

“I handle it,” Bellatrix replied,

“Enlighten me and I’ll consider offering aid.”

Bellatrix took a breath, she knew she would need to tell him if he was going to help her, she knew eventually she’d need to tell someone this. It didn’t make it any easier.

“There is a man, Orion. He hurts me. I put up with it, I allowed it. I did so in hopes it would start and end with me, I was a fool for such notions. My sisters, and cousins, all four are so young, too young. I failed in protecting them.” Her voice broke and the tears she told herself she wouldn’t spill flooded her eyes and ran in rivers down her cheeks. “I failed, and I have to fix it.”

Sobs threatened to take over her body, terrible whining screaming noised clawed at her throat wishing to be released.

“I don’t know who to go to. I can’t tell anyone and I don’t know how to do what I need.”

“Which is what?” The ghost asked, still stone faced.

Bellatrix took a breath, “I need to do ancient magic, I need to ward their rooms and them from him. I need to do blood magic. I need him to feel so much pain whenever he tries to hurt them it’s unbearable.”

“Why not just kill him? It would certainly be easier.” The Baron replied,

“I can’t,”

“Can’t or wont?”

“Can’t. I plan to the second I can.” Bellatrix answered, steel in her voice.

“I’ll help you,” the ghost replied, “and in exchange you will help me.”

“Whatever you need.” Bellatrix said quickly,

“Swear it.” He said, “come back with someone and we shall make an unbreakable vow.”

Bellatrix froze. Not because she was unwilling, but she wasn’t sure anyone would help her do this. Still, she nodded and left.

Rita sat in their dorm when Bellatrix entered,

“Can you do an unbreakable vow?” Bellatrix asked, the words broke from her mouth so quickly.

“No?” Rita answered, then she saw the look of desperation on Bella’s face, and she would do anything to fix it. “Teach me.”

“But you would do one?” Bellatrix asked quickly, “If I taught you?”

“I’d do anything for you Trix.”

“Good.”

*****

"Where are we going?" Rita whispered as Bellatrix dragged her through the dark castle. It was after curfew and Bellatrix needed to make sure no one interrupted them.

"Room of requirement," Bellatrix whispered, she hadn't let herself sleep, patiently waiting for her doormates to fall asleep so she could wake Rita and take her to learn how to administer an unbreakable vow. She also wanted to chase away nightmares... even more reasons to do this.

They reached the floor where they found it last and Bellatrix began walking in front of the room over and over thinking the same thought; I need to teach Rita to administer an unbreakable vow

A door appeared and Bellatrix opened it eagerly. Inside was a large empty space on one side, and parchment, quills, and books on the other.

Bellatrix smiled as she closed the door and lights flickered on.

"Have you performed an unbreakable vow?" Rita asked as she surveyed the room.

Doubts about actually going through with this crept into her mind. She had just agreed after seeing Bellatrix so... wild. It had brought on a lot of emotions: Fear, sadness, lust... She had pushed that last one away, but Bellatrix had looked so awake running in, slightly out of breath, then she noticed the redness to her eyes and tear stains that had dried. Remembering that helped her remember why she was doing this.

"mhm, only a few times though, and only once when it was something big." Bellatrix replied, she was looking through the books provided. "My parents wanted me to learn all spells that could be useful, better to master them now they said. Anyway, I had tutors explain everything about it to me and then I practiced on nothing and then on my sisters with small easy things like 'do you Narcissa Black swear to pick up this ring when you first can?' stuff like that. Then I practiced on house elves to make sure that if it was not fulfilled the other would actually die. Thankfully I only had to do that once because I got it right the first time."

"Are you joking?" Rita asked, a little scared,

"No," Bellatrix said casually, "Then when I was ready my mother had be administer one between Father and Andy." She continued,

"What was the vow?" Rita asked,

"Andy was promising father she would never tell someone what happened at home,"

Rita's face contorted in shock, Bellatrix didn't answer,

"OH! Got it! Rita come here." Bellatrix motioned for Rita to look at the page she had flipped to. "Read from her to the next section."

*******

"Done." Rita announced when she had finished reading the section.

"Ok!" Bellatrix chirped. it was unsettling to see her so excited, "So tell me what you learned,"

"An unbreakable vow is a promise between two administered by another party. If that promise is broken or not fulfilled the failing person will die. To perform one..."

Rita went on about every subject that long section had. When Bellatrix was satisfied she had Rita write it out and then make a draft fake one. It was tedious.

"Sorry for dragging you through all this but we can't practice on anyone so when you administer the one I need you to it will be the first time." Bellatrix said,

"Why don't you do it?" Rita asked,

"One of the people in the vow can't do it. It has to be a third party. I thought about asking Andy or Cissa since they know how to do it but I didn't want them asking questions or telling people."

"What? Wait? You're making a promise with someone that could get you killed?" Rita asked, her voice betrayed the concern and shock.

"Yes, but don't worry it's fine. He just wants me to do it so I don't back out." Bellatrix said, "I need information, he'll give it to me and then I do something to help him after."

"Who is he?" Rita asked, jealousy filled her body, would Bellatrix be promising to do something with some guy for information! Was it Rudolphus?

Rita had been jealous of Rudolphus, she didn't understand why until recently. It seemed as if Bellatrix and Rodolphus were flirting or at least spending time together. She couldn't deny they were suited to each other, both purebloods from powerful families, both moody and dark. It had been worse watching them dance together at Christmas, and then Trix had ditched her to go to a party with him.

"The bloody Baron." Bellatrix answered,

"TRIX!" Rita shouted, Bellatrix jumped, "HE'S A GHOST!"

"He's not that scary it's fine!" Bellatrix replied, off-put by Rita's outburst.

"NO YOU DAFT GIRL! HE CAN'T DIE HE'S A GHOST THE VOW WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HIM IF HE BROKE IT!"

Bellatrix realized this as Rita said it. But as she was trained to do, she searched for a loophole and quickly found one.

"We'll word it to say that I will fulfill one task for him only after he gives me the information I require."

Once again Rita was impressed by Bellatrix's abilities to work her way around anything.

"I don't want you doing something that could kill you." Rita said,

"You said you'd do anything for me." Bellatrix said, she had stopped writing and was now looking directly at Rita.

"I would!" Rita said nervously,

"OK, then trust me when I say it would be better for me to die than not get this information and don't ask more because I won't tell you." Bellatrix said and then continued scribbling.

*****

Rita wasn't sure how much time had passed when Bellatrix finally quit writing.

The whole time it had been a cycle when Bellatrix would write something, cross it out, re-write it, change it, transfer something onto a different page. Any time Rita said something Bellatrix shushed her.

"Ok, I've got it." Bellatrix said, she gave Rita the paper with the wording of the vow. Rita read it over.

*
Do you, Bellatrix Black swear to do one favor asked of you by the Bloody Baron after he reveals the information you are searching for?

*

"Why give him a vow if he won't die?" Rita asked after reading it,

"Just extra reassurance." Bellatrix replied. "Memorize that."

Rita began working to memorize it, each time she thought she had Bellatrix had her recite it then do it again.

By the time Bellatrix was satisfied Rita was certain the words were etched into the inside of her eyelids.

"I think you're ready, I'll take you to him." Bellatrix said finally.

"Wait!" Rita exclaimed, "Are you sure?" she wished she had more time, maybe Bellatrix would have second thoughts.

"Yes." Bellatrix said, there was ice in her veins and fire in her eyes.

The two girls snuck back to the common room and climbed the tower.

Bellatrix opened the door at the top and led Rita in.

"Bloody Baron?" She called into the swirling dust and shadows.

The ghost materialized, "Who is this?"

"Rita Skeeter, she's administering the vow." Bellatrix replied,

The ghost examined her for a moment, goosebumps crawled across her.

When satisfied he floated to Bellatrix who held out her arm.

"That doesn't work." The ghost said, "I can't touch you."

"Then how?" She asked, the ghost smiled, Bellatrix felt a chill at the sight before he disappeared. Before she could react the sensation of being frozen overcame her.

"Like this," The Baron hissed, but it was Bellatrix's mouth that said the words. "I'll take control of your right hand, you'll have your left. I'm sure you understand the rest."

Rita was horrified at the sight. When it was the Baron Trix's eyes glazed over and his creeping voice spilled out of her perfect lips.

The Baron's presence invaded her every nerve. Icy cold pangs that were so cold their burned ran through her body but she couldn't do anything until he retracted his grip on her mind and only controlled the right side of her body.

Bellatrix raised her hand and her left clasped it.

Rita took a breath and steadied herself.

"Do you, Bellatrix Black swear to do one favor asked of you by the Bloody Baron after he reveals the information you are searching for?"

"Yes," Bellatrix replied.

She could feel his emotions as truly as if they were her's. His anger, his sadness, his thirst for revenge, all of it encompassed her.

Rita flicked her wand and a gold thread coiled around their hands

"And Do you, Bloody Baron swear to tell Bellatrix Black the information she searches for?" Rita said, the tremor in her voice was slight but there.

Bellatrix's eyes glazed over, "Yes," His horrid voice replied.

Bellatrix was forced out of her mind again but she still watched everything the Baron did as if from the sidelines. She hated having him in her mind, it reminded her of her uncle and parents rifling through her thoughts as if they were old photographs being observed and scrutinized.

Rita flicked her wand again and another coil wrapped around their wrists.

Bellatrix wanted nothing more than for Rita to complete the spell so her mind would belong to her alone. She felt a flood of dark powerful magic crash into her as the Baron performed his own silent part of the spell. She did the same.

They stayed like that for a moment as Rita completed the spell, then the coils disappeared and with a whoosh the Baron left her and stood in front of them again.

He left her with a gasp and her head felt light. Her vision blurred and then righted after a moment.

The sensation reminded her of the time she had gotten the wind knocked out of her after her mother hit her with a jinx that sent her flying through the room and hitting the floor, hard.

The Baron stood before them, a grin on his face.

"Your friend should go. I have some information for you and only you." He said,

Rita wanted to protest but Bellatrix shot her a look and she left.

Chapter Text

When Rita had gone, the baron turned back to Bellatrix,

"Interesting," He mused,

"What?" Bellatrix asked, he just smiled.

"What you're searching for, is dark blood magic. Specifically A sanguis obice potion."

"What is that?" She asked,

"If I told you that you wouldn't have to do any work." The baron replied, "But I will tell you where you can find information on such a thing."

A wispy map of hogsmeade appeared in the air. "On the edge of Hogsmeade, is a bar called the hog's head. Ask the owner about blood magic. He can help."

"Will he help is the question." Bellatrix replied,

"You're actions shall determine that." The ghost said, "Now my section of the vow is fulfilled. Time for yours."

"Alright," Bellatrix said, "What shall I do?"

"Nothing for the moment, but when I am in need of something, I shall call on you."

With that the Baron floated through the wall and left her.

******

January 28th, 1965

She recounted the interaction with Rita shortly after.

"That's not as helpful as it should've been." Rita said, "I mean you're at a ghost's mercy for information you still might not get."

The whole thing was ridiculous and poorly thought out, especially for Bellatrix.

"I'll get it and I'll do it. She said to Rita, desperation and fear lurked in her eyes. "I have to."

"You should rest. It's going to be morning." Rita replied, the two were in the bathroom of their dorm talking in hushed voices.

"Right," Bellatrix said, "We have class... When is the next Hogsmeade trip?"

Rita blew out a breath, "Valentines day I think,"

"That's in over two weeks!" Bellatrix groaned,

"You'll still have time till school's out to make the potion."

"What if it takes a really long time to make like those that take months!" Bellatrix said, her voice was agitated.

"Then you'll just need to wait! But honestly Trix, think. You can't do it now so sleep because we have classes and you're terrifying when you don't get rest."

"Ok, alright." Bellatrix said.

********

Their alarms went off a couple hours after Bellatrix finally dozed off. Thankfully she had been too tired to dream.

As she went about getting ready it seemed like the world was muffled, and as if her limbs were 50 kilos each.

Classes were a drag and Bellatrix was half in half out for the most part. Seemed like her nights of wake were catching up to her now. She wanted nothing more than to go back to bed; even worse she felt horrible mentally. She was so fatigued and any interactions further drained her.

******

January 30th, 1965

Bellatrix was so relieved the weekend had come. Yesterday she had been so exhausted that she had skipped the rest of her classes after lunch to go to the nurse.

She lay in her bed, alone. It was almost 12 pm and everyone else was gone, she hadn't even had the energy to reply to them.

She lay in a state of waking disassociation. For her time passed without any linear progress. One hour it felt like it had only been ten minutes, other hours seemed to drag on forever.

When she finally did move it was to use the bathroom.

Thoughts raced through her mind. Some scolding her for being so tired, so human. Others running through mistakes she's made. Some played out horrible scenarios.

*****

February 1st, 1965

She spent the weekend like that, she barely even ate or did anything. Her clothes were the same and her hair needed to be brushed. Sometimes she slept, but never for long and never deeply.

When monday came she tried to get up and go to her classes, but she just... couldn't. She didn't even speak, just refused to get out of bed. It brought her back to the day after Christmas of 1962.

Eventually Rita realized she would be late if she didn't leave Bellatrix.

She ended up having to tell all the teachers she was sick and staying in her dorm.

Bellatrix didn't register anything happened, and when she did she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge it.

At one point the nurse came in a checked on her. She declared Bellatrix was actually sick but didn't need to go to the hospital wing.

Rita gave her the work she had missed, Bellatrix didn't even move to do it.

Rita ended up doing it for her.

She was so concerned for her friend. It was so different from the normal Bellatrix, and she just wanted it to return to that.

******

February 3rd. 1965

Bellatrix's sisters stopped by to check on her.

At this point it had nearly been 5 days since she showered or even brushed her teeth.

She was rotting in her own bed, in her own skin.

Rita tried, I mean really tried, to keep Bellatrix comfortable. Sometimes she would have a fit of energy and try and wash up or feed herself but it never lasted long. Rita would wipe her face with wet towels to try and keep her clean, at some point she dragged Bella out of bed and made her brush her teeth.

Work had piled up, and even as Rita tried to do it there was always more. The nurse stopped by again, gave Bellatrix some potion, it didn't help because there was nothing physically wrong with her.

Teacher were getting fed up and a couple rumors had started that Rita quickly shut down, or tried to anyway.

Normally she loved gossip but when it was Trix it was different.

******

February 5th, 1965

Rita finally forced Bellatrix to get up. She pulled her into the shower and didn't let her out until she started cleaning.

Bellatrix used her wand for most of the process and then tried to get back in bed but Rita wouldn't let her.

"This can't go on Trix! It's killing me and it's killing you!" Rita argued, Bellatrix sat silently. "It's friday and you're going to classes and then doing your bloody work and then this weekend we are going to do things and then the next weekend is the Hogsmeade trip!"

Bellatrix didn't reply, but she did get up and go to classes.

******

February 6th, 1965

Bellatrix was still a little out of it but it wasn't nearly as hard anymore, Rita helped a lot.

******

February 14th, 1965

Today was the day. Today was the day Bellatrix and Rita would go to Hogsmeade and then to the hog's head.

It was crisp outside, the girls wore tights under their school skirts and a light cloak, Bellatrix had brought her quidditch jumper just in case.

They set off down the cobblestone path to the town. Bellatrix ran over everything she knew. Suddenly making an unbreakable vow seemed foolish, who knows what the Bloody Baron would ask of her.

Rita's nose and hands were red from the wind which made the air colder. She shivered,

"Want my jumper?" Bellatrix asked, she untied it from around her waist and handed it to Rita.

"Thanks," Rita replied, she pulled the jumper over her head. It was bigger on her than it was on Bellatrix, plus usually Bellatrix wore it with quidditch pads and other clothes underneath.

In Hogsmeade flowers and hearts were everywhere for valentines day. Couples were snogging everywhere. It made Bellatrix sick, even more so when she would see a pureblood with a halfblood or mudblood which wasn't a lot but still. Her face twisted into a grimace and Rita stifled a laugh.

"We should go into the tea place!" Rita exclaimed, "The one with all the hearts and flowers and couples-"

"Oh shut it Skeeter," Bellatrix groaned, Rita laughed.

As they continued down the path to where the Baron had said the Hog's head was. There were few people on the street, and those that were looked shady. It didn't bother Bellatrix much, she had been to Knockturn Alley a few times; Rita on the other hand, grew more uneasy every second.

Some animal knocked a can over and she jumped out of her skin.

The Hog's head was... something. It was dark and smelled like dark magic and dust. The windows were coated in grime and if not. for the wooden open sign hung on the door Bellatrix would've thought it abandoned. Over the top of the door was a rather attractive pig head. Still, it wasn't worse than the house-elf heads at her house.

Bellatrix pushed open the door, Rita stood half-hidden behind her. Inside a red glow illuminated the room, all the chairs and tables were wood and the floor looked like no one had swept in a decade.

No one was in sight. The door shut behind the girls rather loudly.

"I don't think anyone is here," Rita whispered,

"It said open." Bellatrix replied, not even caring to lower her voice. "HELLO?" She called,

Rita grabbed her arm, she wasn't sure whether it was to lead Trix out or for stability.

There was shuffling in the back before a figure emerged behind the counter.

"Wha'd ya wan?" He asked gruffly, "yer a litt'l young to be drinkin'"

"I need some information..." Bellatrix said, she stepped closer to the counter, the man's face was covered by the shadow of his hood. "The Bloody Baron said you might be able to help."

"Did he now?" He replied,

"Yes," Bellatrix replied,

"And who're ya, to com'in ere askin questions?"

"Bellatrix Black,"

"I might 'ave whatcha need, dependin' on what ya can give me."

Bellatrix pulled out the velvet sac of money. "I have money."

"How much?" He eyed the bag greedily,

"Depends on what you can do for me." Bellatrix replied, Rita tensed,

The man surveyed her for a moment before nodding. "Follow me," He replied, "Yer friend stays."

Without waiting for a response he turned and headed towards the door he entered from.

Bellatrix turned to Rita, "I'll be right back, if something happens run." Then she turned back and hurried after the man.

He led her through a hallway and into a storage cellar, it smelled strongly of liquor and reminded Bellatrix of her father. She wanted to gag.

The man pulled a string and a single light bulb came alight, then he sat on a crate and motioned for Bellatrix to sit.

She remained standing, "I need information on a saguis obice potion."

He grunted, "Blood magic, dark blood magic no less." Bellatrix crossed her arms, "And what do ye need that fer?"

"That's my business." She sniffed, she didn't want to tell anyone else about what happened in her home, the Baron was one thing, the man before her was another.

He sat still for a moment before extending his hand, it was caked with dirt and littered with scars.

Bellatrix pulled out the pouch and dropped a galleon in his hand, he didn't move. Bellatrix sighed and dropped five more into the gnarled hands.

His fist closed around the money and he rose, "Stay 'ere," He grunted.

He left the cellar through another door Bellatrix hadn't noticed. Her heart was racing, still she was grateful her money did a lot of talking.

It had been nearly five minutes since the man had left when he finally returned. He took his seat on the crate and opened the inside of his coat before producing a scroll that was yellow with age.

Bellatrix reached for the scroll but the man jerked it back, confusion washed over her face and then he extended his hand.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and dropped five more galleons into his hand. He opened the scroll for Bellatrix to see but didn't let her touch it. The handwriting was faded and messy but there were instructions and ingredients listed.

"How much for the scroll?" Bellatrix asked,

"It's not for sale." He replied,

Bellatrix emptied the contents of the pouch into her hand. There were fifteen galleons, 17 sickles, and 20 knuts.

"How about now?" She asked, "I'm not an idiot, I know it's a copy and this is seriously overpriced, but I need it."

He seemed to be waging an internal debate with himself and as the minutes passed Bellatrix grew impatient.

"Fine." She said after nearly five minutes, she returned the money to it's pouch and started to leave.

"Sold." The man said, Bellatrix stopped and turned. The man held the scroll out for her to take and his other hand for the money.

She walked towards him and dropped the pouch in his hand as he handed her the scroll.

She quickly stuffed it in her cloak and walked back out the door they had come through, the whole time she was worried he would change his mind but he didn't.

Rita was pacing around the room when she returned and practically knocked her over when she came out.

"Thank Merlin you're okay. This is really stupid Trix, really really stupid."

"It's necessary." Bellatrix replied, then she took a breath, "And I'm sorry but you can't be a part of this anymore, I have to do the rest on my own and I can't tell you."

"What? No!" Rita exclaimed,

"Yes, it's dangerous." Bellatrix replied,

"But you're doing it!"

Bellatrix smiled, "It's my problem, and I'd never forgive myself if you got hurt or in trouble for me. Please, trust me when I say having you would just put me at more risk, I can't do this without knowing you're safe."

Tears welled in Rita's eyes, "How dangerous is it for you? And tell me the truth Trix."

Bellatrix looked down, "I'm more worried about what would happen if I failed or was caught."

"That's not an answer."

"If I don't get this right, don't tell Cissa or Reg or anyone what I was actually doing, and take care of them."

******

February 15th, 1965

It was nearly midnight when Bellatrix slipped out of bed. She had made Rita sleep on her own tonight as she looked over the things she would need for the potion. The good thing was that the potion didn't take time, the bad thing was that in order to cover all she needed to and have enough to slip into her sisters' and cousins' drinks she would need a lot of her own blood.

Other than the liquid running through her veins, the potion required a few other things she needed to sneak into Slughorn's potions closet to get. Thankfully he never took stock, he wouldn't even notice the five little things Bellatrix needed were missing.

She crept through the dark halls, trying her best to stop her footsteps from echoing.

Slughorn's office wasn't far from the common room but it felt like it took an hour for her to get there.

As quietly as she could she twisted the knob and cracked open the door, wincing at the creaking sound it made.

She slipped in and closed the door behind her before casting a silencing charm.

"Lumos,"

She walked over to the closet Slughorn kept all the ingredients.

She opened the door. There were so many bottles of merlin-knows-what lining the shelves.

If she hadn't been a witch, and a very good one, it would've taken hours to find what she needed.

"Accio crushed Thestral rib."

"Accio vampire fang"

"Accio Mandrake root"

"Accio Arachnid Major Eye"

"Accio basilisk scale"

One by one the bottles of ingredients floated down to Bellatrix and she stored each one carefully in the cloth she had brought.

As quietly and carefully as she had come, she was gone and back in her dorm before anyone could notice. She stashed the stolen ingredients in a pocket of her trunk before locking it with a password charm.

Chapter Text

February 20th, 1965

Bellatrix had all the ingredients, except one, but that would have to wait till her plan could be put in motion, so as she waited for summer to come, life went on.

******NARCISSA********

Narcissa was walking through the halls with Christina when Rita turned the corner and ran into them.

"Watch it!" Christina shrieked,

"Oh sorry," Rita replied, "Bye Cissa,"

And with that she walked off,

"You know her?" Christina asked, disgust written on her face. While Narcissa wasn't Rita's biggest fan, she loved her sister, and hated her 'friends'

Narcissa straightened, "Yes, she's my sister's friend, Rita."

"Andromeda?"

"Bellatrix."

For some reason people assumed Narcissa was talking about Andromeda whenever it was something good, as if it was unheard of for Bellatrix to be kind, or have friends.

"Really?" Christina asked, she turned, staring at where Rita had walked off to,

"Yes, really." Narcissa rolled her eyes.

"Why? Bellatrix is so... forgive me, but your sister is a raging bitch and Rita is so... not." Christina said,

"My sister is not..." She trailed off, foul language wasn't allowed at the house, they needed to express themselves with class. "Point is, Rita is horrible."

Christina raised her eyebrows,

"Whatever." Narcissa muttered.

****ANDROMEDA*****

Andromeda and Ted sat in the library to study for their potions exam. For some reason Ted was good at potions, Andromeda had trouble following instructions.

"It's really just like baking!" Ted said,

"What?" Andromeda asked,

"Baking, like making food."

"I never make food." Andromeda replied,

"Right!" Ted said, a smile broke out on his face, "You have a thousand butlers!" He laughed,

Andromeda smiled, "House elves actually, and only one, unless you count my Uncle's, then two."

"So you've never baked?" Ted asked,

"No," Andromeda replied, her cheeks grew red, sometimes she wished her family had just been normal, maybe then they would be like Ted and his friends, not broken.

*****NARCISSA******

Narcissa and Christina entered the library, Narcissa stopped short at the sight of Andromeda with that hufflepuff mudblood again. She gritted her teeth, it wasn't like she had a problem with it personally, but if people found out it would get them all in a lot of trouble. It was a wonder Bellatrix didn't know yet, if she did surely a stop would've been put to it.

Bellatrix... Her thoughts drifted back to her eldest sister. The one who held her when they were little, at the time Bellatrix had seemed so much older, but she had only ever been a kid; she still seemed older, worn down by the weight of the family. The sister who would entertain her and Andromeda, and then Sirius and Regulus when they were born; she'd create magical stories that seemed real. The sister who had taken the blame for things her and Andy had done, her screams echoed through the house that one time Narcissa broke a vase, she never did anything wrong after that. The sister who then turned her wand onto the very sisters she took the blame for at her parent's orders. The sister who tried to protect them from everything, who had tried her hardest, and still failed.

Despite her best efforts, Narcissa experienced the horrors of their family. Their mother's hand, their father's curses, their aunt's sharp tongue, their uncle's violations. All of it.

She shook herself from the thoughts and walked over to Andromeda.

Andy didn't notice at first Narcissa stood before her.

"Andromeda," Narcissa said,

Andy looked up, her smile vanished, she looked so guilty, as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have.

Narcissa felt bad, she stood over Andromeda the way their mother would, and Andromeda sat there with the same guilty look.

"Narcissa," Andromeda replied,

"Oh!" Ted exclaimed, "You're Narcissa, Andy's sister. I don't know if you remember but we kinda met, well I think you saw me, and I saw you. Anyways, I'm Ted. Nice to meet you." He held out his hand to shake, Narcissa looked him up and down before turning back to her sister.

Christina watched Ted with a look of disgust written on her face. Sometimes Narcissa wondered if that was just the way her face looked, as if she smelled something unpleasant.

Ted lowered his hand awkwardly,

"What are you two doing?" Narcissa asked,

"Studying." Andromeda replied,

"With him?" Narcissa wrinkled her nose, "You're grades aren't good enough to tutor someone. I'll assume he's the reason you're not doing well, honestly Andy if you're going to study do so with Bellatrix or me."

"You are still a first year." Andromeda replied,

"I bet I could pass your classes." Narcissa replied, "But fine, ask Bellatrix."

"She's busy."

"She helps me when I ask." Narcissa countered,

"Yes because you're her favorite. She has never once helped me!" Andromeda replied, "And besides, Ted is helping me! And he is smart."

Narcissa lowered her voice, "Honestly Andy, you need better company." She spit, "He just isn't as good as us, you'll never succeed if you go on like this." She shot a nasty glare at Ted. Maybe hate had been beaten into her, maybe fear had, either way, the end was the same.

Ted stood awkwardly, hearing every word because Narcissa didn't really care if he did or didn't.

"I'm doing well with him!" Andromeda replied, Narcissa scoffed,

"She is," Ted said, Narcissa turned to him, her upper lip curling the way their mother's did. "She's getting mostly E's and a few A's." He continued,

"Anything below an O is unacceptable for a Black, for someone like you, it's expected, you just can't get higher." Narcissa hissed, she turned back to Andromeda, "I'll tell mother and father if you continue with this."

"I'm not doing anything wrong!" Andromeda protested,

"Then you have nothing to worry about when I tell them, or you could tell them."

Andromeda's mouth gaped open,

"Right." Narcissa said,

"You wouldn't tell, you and Bella would be in just as much trouble, Bella might be in more, and you'd never want to endanger your darling older sister, who for the record, only cares for herself!" Andromeda's voice rose to a shout.

"You have no idea what Bellatrix does for me, for us!" Narcissa replied, slander of her sister wasn't permitted, "You're being so selfish Andromeda!"

"Excuse me for wanting to be happy, and if that makes me selfish so be it." Andromeda said, "I'd rather be selfish than a slave to the family." She had risen from her chair now and started to walk away when Narcissa grabbed her sleeve, Andromeda turned to her sister and leaned in. "I'll get out if it's the last thing I do Cissa, and you should too." She jerked her arm from Narcissa's grip.

With that, Andromeda walked off. Leaving Narcissa with that last sentence, whispered so quietly no one else could hear.

Ted followed after Andy, and Christina looked around the library,

"Let's go study somewhere else." She said, "It reeks of mudblood."

*******ANDROMEDA*******

Hot tears ran down her face, she had managed to keep them in until she left the confines of the library. She heard Ted calling after her, but she didn't stop.

She began to run, not even sure where she was going.

She only stopped when her legs felt like giving out and she couldn't breathe.

She gasped for air, as sobs racked her body. She couldn't breathe, the world blurred, her hands shook, tears blinded her and she gasped and spluttered. Her heart pounded in her chest, she felt like she was dying.

Suddenly someone was there, rubbing circles on her back and talking in a soothing voice. Slowly she started to hear the words being spoken.

"It's alright, you're okay. Breathe. In, out, in, out."

Andromeda listened to the voice, and calmed her breathing, the world steadied and she looked up to find Professor Mcgonagall sitting with her on the floor.

Tears welled again in Andromeda's eyes, but her breathing was better now.

"I'm sorry," She choked out,

"You've nothing to apologize for." Mcgonagall said,

Andromeda wanted to be held, she wanted her mom, not really, but she wanted a mom, like the ones her friends told her stories about. Tears ran down her cheeks again and she leaned into the teacher her enveloped her in a tight hug.

"It's alright." She repeated over and over.

And for the first time, Andromeda really believed it.

*****BELLATRIX*****

March 7th, 1965

Bellatrix sat in her Ancient class taking her exam. The only sound was the scratch of twenty quills on parchment.

It wasn't one of her favorite classes, not enough actually practicing, she preferred that to paper and quill, Rita was always a better writer, Bellatrix's writing was too stiff and mechanical, unfeeling.

Still, the test was easy and she was first to finish.

The second the bell rang she ducked into a closet to use the time turner, she had field studies with Rita at the same time as ancient ruins. Just a turn and she was back an hour and heading outside and catching up with Rita.

"Hey! There you are!" Rita said as they walked side by side to professor Lomin.

"Class, today we're going over real life defenses because it had come to my attention some students..." And at this he paused, seeming to look directly at Bellatrix, but maybe she had imagined it. "have been using unfriendly spells on school grounds." Ok maybe she hadn't imagined it.

Maybe she should be embarrassed, but she wasn't. If anything other students being able to defend themselves from her hexes would just make it more challenging.

"Miss Black," Professor Lomin said,

"Sir."

"Care to demonstrate a hex?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, this was a challenge. She held her head high and stepped forward.

"My pleasure." She said, her voice laced with fake politeness,

"Whenever you're ready."

Before he even finished his sentence Bellatrix's wand was raised as she fired an engorging hex at the professor's head. He conjured some sort of invisible wall that sent the hex hurling back at Bellatrix who barely had enough time to dissipate the spell.

Bellatrix clenched her teeth, upset at being out-done.

"Very good," The professor said, Bellatrix returned to her place with the class. "Now, the biggest downfall of the people casting hexes is they aim for the obvious target, and they don't expect any retaliation. As Bellatrix demonstrated she went for my head, which was expected. What she didn't expect was for me to return her own hex to her, this is a good way to defend yourself without actually hexing someone back."

"You alright?" Rita whispered,

"Fine," Bellatrix replied, tense as a board,

She had fumbled for a split second as her own hex came back at her, she nearly got hit.

The professor continued explaining the spell, a simple reflection charm.

"Now, I've assigned partners for you to practice this with, remember, small jinxes to start! If you can't undo it yourself don't cast it." The professor said, he began reading off pairs of students, Bellatrix listened intently for her name. "Rita and Cassie, and finally Bellatrix you'll be with me since we have an uneven number."

Rita smiled at Bellatrix encouragingly and went off with Cassie, leaving Bellatrix to the professor.

Without warning he fired a hex at her, she was already on edge so without a second thought she cast the charm he had just taught her. The spell flew back at him and with a flick of his wand it was gone.

She drew her wand and fired a reduction hex at the professor's arm, taking him by surprise, he clearly was expecting her to go for another target. Still he sent up the charm and when it fired back at Bellatrix she was ready. With a flick of her wand the hex dissolved.

The back and forth reminded her of dueling with her father, except the curses were always worse with them.

She got caught up in the frenzy of clashing hexes and grew more frustrated each time he blocked one of her spells. She didn't care that the objective was blocking, if she wasn't hitting him she was losing.

He blocked yet another hex of her's, she let out a shout of frustration and without thinking fired a strong stinging cruse as his legs. It hit home, and he yelped and dropped his wand. She had been hit with that spell too many times, it felt like a million jellyfish wrapped around that part of your body.

Bellatrix smiled smugly as his face remained twisted in a grimace. He grabbed his wand and cast another spell that stopped the pain, as he straightened Bellatrix expected anger in his eyes, but there was only satisfaction and a hint of pride.

*****

Bellatrix spent the rest of the day waiting to be reprimanded, but it never came.

What did come, was The bloody Baron. As Bellatrix walked back from the library the ghost appeared before her. She startled,

"Bellatrix," He said,

"Hello," She replied, "Do you have something for me?"

He smiled, at least he tried to.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do. There is something very special to me, right here in Hogwarts and I need you to retrieve it for me."

Bellatrix wanted to ask why he couldn't do it himself but the Baron had a short temper and she had yet to upset him so she wasn't going to start now.

"It's found in the Ravenclaw common room, it's a necklace that was stolen from me a long time ago." He conjured up a holographic image of a golden chain with a blue gem hanging from it. "Find this, return it to me, and your favor is completed."

With that, he left.

Bellatrix was a little surprised that was all he had asked, it was such a small thing to do.

******

March 9th, 1965

Bellatrix had conjured a perfect plan to sneak into Ravenclaw's common room, she simply transfigured her uniform to ravenclaw's and followed two students to their common room, they even opened the door for her.

The baron hadn't said where it would be.

The task became more challenging as she entered the common room. It was big, the ceiling was tall and painted like the night sky. A tower stood in each corner of the room, two were the dorms. A tall statue stood in the middle of the room.

"Accio Necklace,"

Nothing, so there was some sort of enchantment on the necklace.

*****

She searched the common room for an hour, she was ready to give up. As she sat on a couch next to the statue something caught her eye. At the top of the statue was a blue gem, Bellatrix smiled, she had found it, and when everyone went to sleep, she would retrieve it, and then her debt would be paid.

*****

March 10th, 1965

It was three am, Bellatrix had snuck out earlier and gotten her broom, then she returned to the common room. It was a riddle to open it, one she solved quickly.

Now she hovered at the statue's head, prying the gem from the top of its head. The chain had been around its neck, it was so thin you couldn't see it from far away.

She tried to be delicate but it just wasn't working. She transfigured a lamp into a knife and began to pry the gem out of the stone. She wedged the blade into a crevice and pulled.

As she did the gem came flying out, she caught it before it began to fall.

With the gem and chain she snuck out of the ravenclaw common room, back to put her broom away, and then to the tower where she first found the bloody Baron.

The ghost sat there, Bellatrix presented him the gem and chain wordlessly. As she did something snapped inside her, the vow had been completed. Relief flooded her senses, she was off the hook, and she had what she needed.

Chapter Text

March 15th, 1965

"So it's done?" Rita asked,

the girls were sitting in the library studying for an exam, there was a quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin today, Bellatrix was petty enough to skip it after being suspended from playing.

"Yes," Bellatrix replied, not giving any extra information, they both knew what they were talking about.

For such a dark potion it didn't really require much skill, unless not bleeding out is considered a skill, then again, nowadays mediocrity seemed to be a skill. Pathetic.

"I'm sure next year you'll be allowed to play again," Rita said,

"I'd better be, Rudolphus will be captain." Bellatrix replied, her oh so dear future fiancée,

"What do you mean?" Rita asked,

"Oh nothing," Bellatrix said quickly, it wasn't a secret they were arranged to be married, but she hadn't exactly broadcast it, only the family knew. Rudolphus and Bellatrix seemed happier that way, so who cared.

Then again, if it wasn't such a big deal, (She always knew she'd be arranged to someone after all) why did it feel like a heavy stone in her stomach, why did the thought of telling Rita make her want to throw up and scream?

Bellatrix looked up, Rita was writing, her green quill danced delicately on the parchment as she wrote words that were worthy of bringing wars to an end. She did always have a way with them, almost like a trail of ink drew in anyone who read her pages like a bloodhound to a steak. It left people wanting the next page, the next story.

Her blonde hair fell delicately over her face. Her red glasses were slightly crooked as she scrunched up her face in concentration. She always looked mad when she wrote. Bellatrix thought it was a wonder not everyone found her impossible to tear their eyes away from her beauty. They were all unworthy anyway.

Rita stopped writing and looked up to find Bellatrix already staring at her.

"What?" Rita asked,

"Nothing," Bellatrix said quickly looking away, "Oh, how's Long story short going? I haven't seen a new edition in a while."

Rita waved her hand, "I quit that months ago."

"What? Why?"

"I submitted a proposal to Dumbledore about letting me start a school newsletter. It's much more refined, plus if I want to be a real journalist this will look good on applications." Rita replied,

"What did he say?"

"Nothing yet, but I just turned it in a few days ago."

"Like that old bat has anything better to do," Bellatrix muttered, Rita giggled,

*****

When Bellatrix and Rita entered the common room they expected at least a small celebration from Slytherin for winning the match, they had been wiping the floor with Gryffindor all year; but when they entered a few students were moping about, and everything was quiet.

"Merlin, who died?" Rita whispered as they made their way to their dorm.

Alecto sat on the floor of their dorm staring aimlessly at the ceiling, Eliza looked concerned.

"Oh thank Merlin." Eliza exclaimed as Bellatrix and Rita entered, "It's been like this since the match! Please Bellatrix, tell her it's not the end of the world. You lost one match."

"You lost?" Bellatrix asked, her voice betrayed her annoyance,

"Not helping!" Eliza snapped,

"What happened?" Bellatrix asked,

Alecto sat up and turned to her, "Our fill in seeker for you is shit." With that Alecto didn't say more and laid back down.

"We were up, by like a lot, like 100-0, then the stupid Gryffindor seeker caught the bloody snitch so it didn't even matter." Eliza informed her,

"The worst part is your sub wasn't even close." Alecto groaned, "Can't you talk to Sebastian? Get him to let you play. I'm sure if you just apologize-"

"I'm not apologizing!" Bellatrix interrupted,

"Come on!" Alecto groaned, "We need you back Black!"

"Then he can come ask for me to play again, or find another sub who doesn't suck." Bellatrix replied,

"But you like playing quidditch! So just apologize and you'll be our seeker again! Are you seriously going to let your own pride get in your way?"

"I'm not going to apologize when I did nothing wrong." Bellatrix snapped,

"Would you rather be right or happy?" Alecto asked

"I'm happy when I'm right." Bellatrix countered,

"Merlin you're stubborn."

*****

March 16th, 1965

The next morning the Gryffindors were still celebrating the win, some of them throwing taunts across the great hall.

Sebastian was arguing with Rudolphus about something, from the glances they both kept shooting at Bellatrix she figured it was about her. She pretended not to notice.

******

March 30th, 1965

Today was the last quidditch match of the season, it was between Gryffindor and Slytherin.

Since Bellatrix's suspension, Slytherin had lost 3/4 matches, and one they only won because they scored an extra goal putting them ten points above Hufflepuff as their seeker caught the snitch.

If they lost this game the cup would go to Gryffindor.

Bellatrix did care, but she pretended not to.

"Are you going to the game?" Eliza asked as she was heading out the door,

"No," Bellatrix replied, "I don't need to watch us be embarrassed."

Eliza rolled her eyes and left.

Ten minutes later and all Bellatrix could think about was what was happening in the game, even as she feigned reading.

"I know it's killing you." Rita said,

"I've not the faintest clue of what you speak of." Bellatrix replied,

"You talk like you're with your family when you're on edge," Rita said, "It's your tell. You do it when you lie as well."

"Well I hardly ever lie, not here anyway."

She couldn't even count the number of times she lied at home.

******RUDOLPHUS********

The match was going horribly, Gryffindor and Slytherin were tied and their seeker was flying around aimlessly.

He had to admit, as bitchy as Bellatrix was, she was talented. You could say a lot about her, but you couldn't say she wasn't a damn good witch.

They were taking a time out now, Rudolphus flew over to Sebastian. They had been having the same argument over the past month since he suspended Bellatrix.

"You've got to call her back in!" He yelled, the wind was raging and hard to talk over,

"No I don't!" Sebastian yelled back,

"Mate! We've been getting our asses handed to us since you benched her! Not even Slughorn would have her benched and especially not now when we're losing this bad! We're going to lose the cup without her!"

Sebastian knew he was right, "She needs to learn she's not invincible! One day she'll pick a battle she can't win."

"I don't think there's a battle she can't win." Rudolphus replied,

"Maybe not but she'll let her guard down and that's when her opponent with strike." Sebastian said grimly,

"Well that's not our current problem." Rudolphus replied,

Sebastian seemed to debate with himself for a few moments,

"Get her little sister to find her." Sebastian said finally, "Have her tell Bellatrix to get her broom." With that he flew off to ask the reff for another few minutes timeout.

Rudolphus smirked and flew over to Narcissa, "Where's Bellatrix?" He asked,

"Her dorm I think," Narcissa answered,

"Go get her, tell her Sebastian told her she can play." Rudolphus ordered,

*****BELLATRIX*****

A knock sounded on her door,

"Come in!" She called,

Rita had gone down to the kitchen to have the house elves give them food, so other than Bellatrix the dorm was empty.

Narcissa opened the door and walked in, Bellatrix looked up from the book she was 'reading' (she had been on the same page for ten minutes because she kept getting distracted thinking about the game and then forgetting what she read.)

"Aren't you supposed to be at the game?" Bellatrix asked,

"Rudolphus sent me here to come get you." Narcissa replied,

"Tell him I'm not just going to come and sit there." Bellatrix snapped,

"He said Sebastian wants you to play."

"Yeah right."

"Seriously. His exact words were "Tell her to grab her broom"

Bellatrix smirked, "I'll be down in a second, grab my broom from the shed and meet me outside."

She shooed her sister out of the room and quickly pulled on her uniform before scribbling a note to Rita and then rushing downstairs as she tied her hair back.

Narcissa met Bella outside with her broom, Bellatrix grabbed it and flew over to the stadium.

She spotted Rudolphus looking around anxiously and flew over to him.

"Miss me?" Bellatrix taunted, she could hardly contain her smile, his face broke into a grin as well,

"I never thought I'd be happy to see you." He said, "SEBASTIAN!"

Sebastian came flying over, "Ready?" He asked,

"I'm going in?" Bellatrix grinned,

Sebastian rolled his eyes and flew onto the pitch. Bellatrix shot a look at Rudolphus and followed.

Alecto flew up to her when she got into position,

"You're back!" Alecto exclaimed

"I'm back." Bellatrix replied,

"And seeker Bellatrix Black is being brought back off the bench after Slytherin's string of losses when she was MIA!"

Some Ravenclaw was doing the announcements,

The whistle blew and Bellatrix took off looking for the snitch. She really had missed the way the wind blew through her hair as she soared through the air.

Slytherin scored a couple more goals as Bellatrix's eyes scanned the air.

"It seems like just having her back is boosting the team's performance!"

*****RITA*****

Rita returned to the dorm with a plate of scones to find Bellatrix missing. In her place was a note,

*Cissa came by, Sebastian's letting me play because I'm too good and they keep losing without me. I'm on the quidditch pitch, come see me. We can celebrate after the game.

Love Trix,*

Rita rushed out of the dorm and practically ran to the quidditch pitch.

When she got there she was out of breath as she joined Eliza in the stands.

Bellatrix was circling the air like a hawk, her whole body was tense under her uniform, poised to shoot off after the snitch at any moment. Slytherin was up by fifty now, and that wouldn't even matter if Bellatrix wasn't out there going after the snitch.

Suddenly she stopped, her focus locked onto something, she braced like a cat about to pounce before shooting off after the snitch.

She sliced through the air, it took the Gryffindor seeker a second to figure out what was going on, and by the time he started after her, it was too late. The snitch was practically her's.

Cheers rang out from the audience as Bellatrix reached forward and grabbed the snitch. The whistle blew, the game was over, Slytherin had won. They had secured the quidditch cup. It all happened so fast within a few minutes of Bellatrix being brought back in.

The team landed and everyone rushed to her, her face was glowing as she took in all the attention and admiration.

They even lifted her onto their shoulders and paraded around the pitch a few times. Even Sebastian was cheering.

*****BELLATRIX*****

Shouts rang out in the Slytherin common room that night as they all celebrated. For a good ten or fifteen minutes she had been the center of the focus but when some stronger beverages were brought out she was allowed to slip into the back with Rita. They sat by their window with it cracked letting the cool night air fill the room, they tried to breathe most of that instead of the strong smell of sweat, firewhiskey, fag smoke, and something else.

Still, as unpleasant and loud as it was, Bellatrix enjoyed it; her own little bit of freedom, her own chaos. She had sent Andromeda and Narcissa up with the rest of the first and second years earlier so she didn't have to worry about them.

Eliza came over, she had taken a drink of something, she stumbled slightly.

"RITA!" She called, "Dance with me!" Her speech was slurred,

"No, it's ok." Rita said, she was smiling.

Bellatrix had seen her watching the people dancing, maybe wistfully,

"Go, have fun." Bellatrix urged, she didn't love the thought, but whatever, maybe she would join when everyone was too drunk to remember it.

"YESSS!" Eliza exclaimed, Rita smiled and followed her into the crowd. Bellatrix watched until she lost sight of her between the bodies.

*****RUDOLPHUS******

"I hate to admit it," Rudolphus slurred, "But Black saved our asses today!" He was yelling slightly to be heard over the din of the party.

"That she did." Sebastian replied, equally inebriated,

Rudolphus looked over to where Bellatrix sat alone staring out the window. Not sadly, in fact she looked perfectly content to stay in her own corner of the world. Something about it made her a little more appealing. She was quite pretty without a snarl or scowl on her face, it was undeniable.

Her fiery personality was something he once thought to hate, it had been intimidating, not that he would ever admit that. Now that fire ragged like an inferno, and he liked the heat. Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through his blood, maybe it was the dopamine of the win, but he couldn't help but think he quite lovely. He found himself thinking she wasn't the worst person to be tied to.

******BELLATRIX******

Rita had been smart enough not to drink, Eliza however was hammered after one drink and Rita and Bellatrix ended up practically carrying her back to the dorm and then holding her hair as she threw up. Alecto came up later after Eliza had fallen asleep in the bathroom, passed out was a better word. She had gone straight to bed.

Rita layed in Bellatrix's bed, the two girls were still, not daring to move in case it would break the spell. For this little window of time they were together, for this little window of time they could imagine futures that would never come to be, for this little window of time, Bellatrix could let herself feel what she felt for Skeeter without waves of guilt and denial drowning crashing over her like a tsunami.

Just for this little window of time.

******

April 3rd, 1965

When Bellatrix wasn't busy, her mind fell back to the potion that would save her sisters and cousins.

She found herself re-reading over the instructions, she knew it all my heart now. All it took was ingesting all the ingredients 24 hours before drawing blood. She'd done the calculations, she'd need about a liter and a half of blood. It was a lot, but not enough that she'd need someone else's help, worst comes to worst she'd only coat her sisters and cousins doors.

While she didn't bite her nails, the skin around them was picked until it bled. She refused to put a bandaid on it, she just wiped it off on a sock.

"Trixxieeee," Rita said in a sing-song voice as she waltzed into their dorm.

"Rita," Bellatrix replied, she kept her eyes on the potions book she was studying.

"Did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"We're facing our Boggarts in DADA tomorrow!" Rita informed,

"Oh," Bellatrix replied, her last boggart had been Orion. That was two years ago now, she hoped it had changed.

"I'm excited, my last boggart was..." Rita paused, "Well never mind, but I think it's changed now. I hope anyway."

"Me too," Bellatrix muttered,

*******

April 4th, 1965

Bellatrix sat in Slughorn's office, he wasn't there.

Suddenly the door opened and Slughorn walked in, Orion came in behind him. Bellatrix froze, she had done something seriously wrong if her family had been called. Maybe Slughorn knew about the potions ingredients, maybe she was being expelled.

Slughorn sat at his desk and Orion took a chair beside Bellatrix.

"I assume you know why we're here?" Slughorn asked,

"No sir," Bellatrix replied, she forced her voice to stay normal,

"Lies." Orion hissed, he pulled out his wand-

Bellatrix shot up in her bed, it was a dream, it had been a dream.

Still, it felt real. She felt a wisp of the pain she knew would have come.

She wished she could think it was fake, that it didn't happen. But it did, maybe not just then, but it was real. It wasn't something made up by her subconscious.

The sun was coming up so she didn't have to worry about falling back asleep.

Deep breaths,

Breathing in,

2

3

4,

Breathing out,

2

3

4,

*****

Defense against the dark arts came along far too quickly and Bellatrix was so scared of everyone finding out what she was scared of. The answer should've been nothing, she was too strong to have fears.

The class filed into the room and the professor began talking about boggarts, all things Bellatrix knew. Boggarts had been a punishment at her house since they were children. It was easy to convince a child there were monsters lurking in every corner.

Back then her boggarts had consisted of failure, disease, and small spaces.

She desperately wished they had stayed as those.

Too soon, they had started, Bellatrix decided to go in the middle of everyone, that way it would be forgettable. Rita went before her.

Eliza had gone first, her boggart was a mirror with a hideous reflection in it.

Some others went, the most notable was Lucius's boggart. It was his father. The class was silent when he went, no one laughed as Lucius cast the spell.

Rita stepped up next, for all the excitement she had shown earlier, she looked terrified. Her knuckles gripped her wand so tightly they turned white.

Before her, the boggart took shape as her friends in a circle around her. They began to laugh and taunt her, calling her names and such. Rita's eyes welled with tears. She closed her eyes.

"Ridiculous!" She shouted, nothing, "RIDICULOUS!" She screamed, the boggart began to shrink until finally the girls were the size of quills.

She stepped away, tears were streaming down her face, Bellatrix went over to her and folded her into a hug. Rita braced herself against Bellatrix as she controlled her breathing. Bellatrix worried people would see her as weak.

The professor had told the students to continue as he came over. Rita's face remained buried in the side of Bellatrix's neck.

"Are you alright?" he asked,

"Clearly not." Bellatrix snapped, "I've got it."

"Do you need to take her to your dorm? I'll write a pass for the both of you for the day." He said, his voice was soft and comforting but that only enraged Bellatrix. He had just made them do this and now that it backfired he was sorry.

She wanted to scream at him, instead she averted her eyes and answered, "Yes, I think that would be best."

"Alright. Don't worry about facing your boggart Bellatrix, I know you know the spell."

With that Bellatrix led Rita out of the class and back to their dorm.

"I'm sorry," Bellatrix said,

"For what?" Rita asked, she sniffled slightly,

"I don't know, I just feel bad, seeing you cry." Bellatrix replied,

"Thanks for helping me," Rita said,

"Of course, don't worry, it doesn't make you weak." She said,

"I know." Rita said, "Do you?"

Bellatrix paused, she constantly worried about looking weak or fragile. She was always overlooked as a girl, they were always hoping for a boy, for an heir, it never mattered how strong or smart she was. Any weakness would be proving them right.

Chapter Text

April 10th, 1965

*Cher Bella,

Maman a dit que Rita va venir à France avec nous pour le match de quidditch. C'est vrais?
Evan et Pandora ont venue pour dîner heir, Maman a invité Barty Crouch Jr et ses parents, mais ils ont pas accepter.
J'ai rencontré Barty au fête de noël, il est sympas mais un peu comme Sirius, je veux dire qu'il parle trop.
Tu me manque, je croyais que tu allais m'écrire, Sirius a dis que tu n'écrivais pas car tu t'en fiche de nous,
mais je sais c'est faux, c'est probablement car t'a beaucoups de travaille.
Andromeda envois des lettres à Sirius chaque semaine.

R.A.B.*

Bellatrix scanned the letter her baby cousin had sent, she felt guilty for not writing to him. It had just slipped her mind with everything else, she just distanced herself from her home when she wasn't there, not because she wasn't proud, just because it was nice to have a breath. She couldn't imagine how Regulus must feel, he'd be the last to go to Hogwarts, and when he did Bellatrix would be in her last year. He would truly be alone once Sirius started school.

Suddenly Bellatrix felt a set of hands land on her shoulders, she flinched and turned around, it was just Rita,

"Sorry," Rita said, "Did I startle you?"

"A little," Bellatrix admitted,

Rita slid into the seat next to Bellatrix, she looked at the letter, "French?"

"Yea,"

"What does it say?"

"Oh it's from Regulus, he was just telling me what's going on at home," Bellatrix replied,

"Oh,"

Bellatrix stood up, "I'm going to go write him back, I'll see you in Herbology."

"Tell him I say hi!" Rita called,

*****

No one was in the common room since they were all at breakfast, she had gone early that morning after another nightmare where she couldn't fall back asleep.

She sat at a table and began to write a return letter to Regulus,

*Cher Reggie,

Oui, Rita vien a France,
J'espère Pandora et Evan sont bien,
Pardon pour pas écrire, je te jure c'est pas car je m'en fiche de toi.
N'écoute pas ce que Sirius te dis, j'ai beaucoup de chose a faire et j'ai oublier,
je vais essayer de t'envoyer plus de lettres. Je savais pas que c'était quelque
chose qui te déranger, t'es tellement timide que quelquefois je sais même
pas si tu m'aime!
Dis mois tout ce que passe a la maison, même si c'est horrible,
je suis toujours ici pour toi.

Ta cousine prèferè, Bella*

She quickly gave Jupiter the letter and hurried off to Herbology.

*****

Bellatrix was nearly late to Herbology since it was across the school, still she arrived right before class began and took a seat beside Rita.

"Today, we are dealing with mandrakes." The professor stated, "Can anyone tell me why we use earmuffs when handling them?"

"Because they shriek like banshees," Bellatrix muttered under her breath, Rita giggled.

One of the other students raised their hand,

"Yes, miss Dockery,"

"Because a full grown mandrake can scream loud enough to render a human deaf, and even immature mandrakes can be dangerous." The girl answered

"Very good, now everyone put on your earmuffs, we went over how to handle them last class, so today you will be potting them."

Bellatrix lifted the earmuffs from her desk and put them on, other students did the same.

Bellatrix and Rita were given two mandrakes and two larger pots to transfer them to.

"I hate herbology," Bellatrix said, she had meant to whisper but the earmuffs made it hard to hear herself so she ended up talking normally, still no one heard because the earmuffs.

"What?" Rita shouted,

Bellatrix sighed and enunciated the words slowly without screaming, in case someone would hear.

"You like neuropathy?" Rita yelled,

Bellatrix looked at her incredulously, "Not even close," She replied,

"I eat clothes??"

"Merlin, forget it." Bellatrix sighed before starting to carefully dig out the mandrake roots,

"THIS IS FUN! I LIKE THIS GAME" Rita yelled,

"YOU'RE SCREAMING!" Bellatrix yelled back, now the sounds of other students and the muted shrieks of the mandrakes made it impossible to hear what anyone was saying,

"YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!" Rita yelled back,

Bellatrix sighed and grabbed a quill and paper to write it out,

"I said you're screaming!"

"I'M SCREAMING?"

Bellatrix nodded,

"SORRY! WAIT, CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

"NO?" Bellatrix shouted back shaking her head,

"I THINK YOU'RE JUST REALLY GOOD AT READING LIPS!" Rita shouted

"I THINK SO YEA." Bellatrix replied,

*****

At the end of class when they took off the earmuffs everything seemed way louder.

"That was kind of fun," Rita said as they walked to field studies, Bella would have to turn back time later to go to ancient ruins.

"Really?" Bellatrix asked in disbelief,

"Yea, it was like a game, we should do it in the dorm but only one person can't hear, it would be like charades," Rita replied,

"What's charades?" Bellatrix asked,

"It's a game my family and I play, like you have some topics or words and you have to act it out while your partner guesses what it is, but you can't talk."

"Sounds frustrating." Bellatrix said, she would hate not hearing, she relied too much on it especially at home, not being able to talk would be just as bad.

Rita shook her head, "It's super hilarious, like, you're all laughing really hard as someone tries to act out something ridiculous and the other person is guessing. Don't you have any games you play with your family, I bet it would be super fun because there are a lot more people, when I play it's usually just me, my mom, my dad, and grandma."

Bellatrix looked down, the only game she played with family was chess, and that was less of a game and more of a challenge. It wasn't meant to be fun. "My family isn't really the game type," Bellatrix replied,

"Oh, sorry." Rita answered, "If you ever come to visit us we'll play all sorts of games."

"Right, and when hell freezes over will my mother and father let me go to your house, I've never even been allowed to stay with Alecto." Bellatrix said.

She guarded the longing for those experiences behind a voice laced with amusement. She buried her childish impulses beneath mountains of superiority. She forced herself to grow up, it was all she ever wanted. At least she thought, but to her growing up meant choices and respect, not being sold off as a pureblood wife whose job was to produce an heir. She didn't want to grow up to follow the red carpet that had been laid out for her, it's destination being watching herself wither away through a looking-glass. The carpet she once wanted to rush down, the one she thought was velvet turned out to be blood. Her blood painted the way for her, like a train-track. And like a train she barreled down the rails that had been laid centuries earlier, she couldn't get off, couldn't stop it. Her destiny was written in the stars she had been named for.

Bellatrix, the second brightest star in Orion's constellation. Sirius was brighter, Sirius was the heir. No matter how much better she was, the family's legacy would sooner fall to a distant male cousin than her. She wanted it, she wanted to be their heir, she wanted that power, that control, that respect. She wanted to be more than a woman, she wanted to be a person.

****

April 15th, 1965

*Cher Bella,

Merci pour m'écrire! Je savais que Sirius savais pas de quoi il parlait.
Je suis trop excité pour l'été car je veux te voire.
Maman a dis car maintenant que ta 14 ans tu peux aller au cité avec moi, toute seule.
Jors, Narcissa et Andy et Sirius et Rita peut venir, mais je veux aller avec juste toi une fois.
Sirius a essayer de faire un trous dans son oreille, Maman était tellement fâché.
Il est encore punis,
maman a dit si il n'arrête pas il peux pas nous accompagner a France et que elle vas le
laisser à la maison de Malfoy car ils rest en Angleterre pour l'été.
Nous sommes allons a voire tante Druella et Oncle Cygnus, quand ils ne faisais pas attention,
j'ai aller à ta chambre car tu me manques.
J'espère que tu ne serais pas fâché avec moi, je faisais attention de ne déranger rien.
Dis moi de la vie à l'école!
A toute!

R.A.B*

*Cher Reggie,

Si ta mere est d'accord, je t'emmènerai au cité, tout seule comme tu veux.
J'espère que Sirius arrête avec ces connerie, ca cause trop de problems,
Tu me manques aussi, j'attends l'été avec l' anticipation! Je veux que tu essayé d'être copains avec Rita,
elle est cher a moi. J'ai dis la meme chose a Cissa.
Andy et Sirius j'en dis rien car ca changerait rien.
Il-y-a rien a raconter de l'école, ca va, jors c'est ennuyant après tout qu'on a appris a la maison.
Rita va bien, Eliza a toujours du drame autours d'elle, normalmente a cause d'un garcon.
OH! Et Slytherin a gagné le quidditch cup pour la 3ème fois consécutive.

Ps. Ça ne me dérange pas si tu vas dans ma chambre pendant que je suis a l’école.

-Bellatrix,*

"BELLA!" Rita exclaimed as she rushed into the dorm,

Bellatrix quickly rolled up the letter and gave it to Jupiter to deliver. She hoped their parents never read anything in the letters, not that she had said something wrong, but it could be seen as that.

"What?" Bellatrix asked, turning to Rita,

"Dumbledore said I could start a school paper!" She was beaming, her eyes lit up like sunlight reflecting off water. A smile stretched across her face,

Bellatrix stood and went to hug her,

"That's amazing!" She said, folding the blonde into her arms,

Rita's arms embraced Bellatrix with the same fervor.

They clung to each other,

Bellatrix liked the pressure Rita squeezed her, as if she never could be close enough. Her hair smelled like something sweet but earthy, her skin was soft as Rita's cheek brushed against Bellatrix's neck, she shivered but loved the feeling. They clung to each other, neither letting go or loosening their grip.

It was an excuse to be this close, they could both lie to themselves at times like this.

"I'm really happy for you Rita," Bellatrix said softly,

"Me too," Rita whispered.

******

April 20th, 1965

Rita's first news letter had come out,

It was drab, she had wanted to write about gossip but knew Dumbledore would never let that happen, instead she filled a few pages with school events and short stories students volunteered to tell about the graduating class, all good things of course. She had gotten someone to take photos for it and also a few other people on board with the project.

"I wish I could write about important things," Rita whined as the girls sat at breakfast reading the new paper,

"What like the girl's lavatory on the 3rd floor being broken isn't important?!" Eliza said mockingly,

Rita rolled her eyes, Alecto chuckled.

"Groundbreaking news Rita," Bellatrix teased, Rita smiled and nudged her,

"You try writing about something interesting when I can't because it's slander." Rita said in a bored tone,

"Change the names," Eliza offered, "Pretend it's fiction, or just use initials, technically it's not against the rules."

"What were the rules anyway?" Bellatrix asked as she stabbed her fruit with her fork,

Rita cleared her throat and said in her best imitation of the headmaster: "No slander of students or faculty, no offensive language, no biased reports on issues."

The girls broke into laughter at the expense of the old wizard.

Suddenly Jupiter landed in front of Bellatrix with a letter from Regulus,

*Cher Bella,

Je veux bien que tu raconte le drame qui se passe à l'école, c'est ennuyeux ici,
Pardon, je voulais écrire plus mais j'ai un lesson maintenant et je veux pas
demander a maman pour an hibou alors je utilize ta chouette, mais elle veut partire.

R.A.B.*

"Merlin!" Bellatrix exclaimed, "You were gone for like five days, I was getting worried."

Jupiter just hopped around a little and cocked it's head,

"You have no clue what I'm saying do you?" Bellatrix stated,

Jupiter just kept staring,

"Well I'm glad you're back," She sad, running a finger lightly over the bird's head, Jupiter hooted happily and flew off.

Bellatrix looked up to find Rita, Alecto, and Eliza staring at her,

"Oh merlin I was just talking to my owl." Bellatrix groaned and covered her face with her hands, "This is your fault Rita, first you name her and now I'm talking to her. I'm losing my bloody min."

Rita laughed, "It's cute."

"Oh shove off!" Bellatrix said giving Rita a playful shove.

*****

April 21st, 1965

*Cher Reggie,

Si t'a vraiment envie d'écouter le drame parle a Rita,
je suis nul a raconté la vie de les autre,
Une histoire, oui, la drame, non.
En plus, moi j'en sait rien du drame sauf que Rita me dit.
Aussi, j'ai dis a Jupiter de rester pour qu'elle ramène ta lettre, dis moi si ca marche,

-Bellatrix*

******

April 27th, 1965

*Cher Bella,

tu as nommé ta chouette Jupiter??
Et oui, elle a rester ici pour deux jours pour que j'écris ta lettre.
Et bon, dit à Rita d'écrire sure ta prochaine lettre la drame.

R.A.B.*

Maybe it was a little strange seven year old Regulus seemed to really want to know about gossip, but Rita said she had always been interested in it.

Maybe Regulus just liked knowing things, he always listened as supposed to talking, he always prefered that.

******

May 3rd, 1965

"I'm so screwed for end of year exams!" Eliza exclaimed,

It had become a sort of tradition that the girls would have study sessions together in the library for the month leading up to exams.

It was mostly for their benefit that Bellatrix came. Studying was something she did to be perfect, but she could do just fine without it. Work harder and smarter.

"You say that every year, and every year you do fine." Bellatrix said as she copied some notes down, the repetition helped her remember.

"But this is third year! It's so much harder." Eliza whined,

"You won't say third year was hard by 5th year." Bellatrix pointed out, "Especially since that's our OWLS"

"Don't remind me." Eliza said,

"Relax, it's two years away, you'll be fine."

"I just want it to be summer." Alecto sighed,

"Same! I'm so tired if school, this year has been so long it's actually painful." Eliza agreed,

Rita was busy writing out gossip for Regulus, Bellatrix had written a little note and then handed it off to Rita so she could fill him in on everything. She had charmed Rita's quill to change the words from english to french as she wrote. Regulus did speak and write and read english, but it was just easier in french.

*****

An hour and three pages later Rita handed Bellatrix back the letter.

"You can send it now," She said, "I had a lot because I haven't had anyone to tell this all to but you, and like you don't really care."

"I do care," Bellatrix protested,

"No, you don't, but that's okay. You care about me but not about the actual story, still, I don't mind. It confuses me a little that you don't care, but I don't mind. Anyway, so I told him practically everything big that has happened since we started school, but a lot of it required backstory, so that was a whole thing." Rita took a breath,

"I have no clue how you piece this all together, or make it sound interesting to read. When I try telling gossip it sounds like I'm listing what to send the houself for." Bellatrix sighed,

"You have your strengths I have mine," Rita said with a smirk.

Bellatrix sent the letter off to Regulus. It was a good arrangement, Rita got to write about what she wanted to and tell someone, and Regulus got the stories he wanted.

*****
May 5th, 1965

*****REGULUS******

Regulus sat in his room, alone. Screaming came from beyond. The wails belonged to Sirius. Their mother had pulled him away again and sent Regulus to his room. Nothing blocked out the noise, and he feared making any sound in case Walburga would turn to him next. His cowardice made him hate himself, he couldn't help Sirius, he was too scared.

The only thing keeping him from crying was the knowledge Bellatrix was going to write back and Jupiter would tap on his window at any second. He had grown to like the little owl, maybe it was because it meant he could have a distraction for a little.

*****

May 6th, 1965

Sirius was locked in his room, Regulus had only been allowed out to go to lessons, then he was sent back. Kreature brought all his meals.

Jupiter would come any moment now.

"Elle va me repondre." He said quietly to himself, the same phrase he had been uttering for a little over a week now.

He had asked for drama as a distraction, he needed to focus on something else, plus maybe other people's shitty lives would make him feel better about his own.

*****

May 9th, 1965

Sirius was screaming again, it was worse, so much worse. Sometimes Regulus caught parts of what he said, a lot of pleading and apologies followed by harsh words from their mother. The drum of rain didn't drown out the noise, the booms of thunder paled in comparison to his brother and mother's screams.

Regulus had chewed his nails down to the quick. Sometimes they bled, he just let it, as if that could make up for the pain Sirius suffered, as if the guilt would lessen, as if the score was settled.

He hardly would have heard the tapping from his window had he not been watching for it against hope. It was raining too hard for Jupiter to come, but the little owl came anyway.

He jumped up and quickly opened the window.

The poor bird was soaking and shivering. Regulus felt awful and rushed for a blanket. He closed the window behind the owl and scooped her up in his arms. He untied the letter from her leg and dropped it on his desk before returning to the pitiful creature.

He tried his best to dry her off, but it would've been better with magic. He went to his desk where he had stolen and stashed a few dead mice from their owlery for when Jupiter came. He opened it and gave one to her.

"Pardon petite," He whispered, stroking the bird's wing gently. As he took care of the owl the noise was blocked out, or at least quieter.

Eventually the owl fell asleep and seemed fine enough so Regulus went to open the letter. He jumped as Sirus's screams pierced through the air again.

Regulus swallowed hard and with shaking hands opened the envelope.

It was three pages front and back, after a paragraph the handwriting switched to print, Rita's part. She went on for pages about all sorts of scandals at school. Sometimes he didn't even understand why something was drama until Rita would explain it better. Each piece of news led into the next and it seemed like at some point everything intersected.

As he read his troubles lifted, he lost himself in the story of others. For a little while he forgot what was happening, where he was, who he was. It was nice.

Bellatrix had told him to tell her everything happening at home but he never did. She always worried about them, in her own way. He saw the way she stressed over Cissa getting in trouble. Narcissa had told him a million times about how she felt bad that Bellatrix always lost sleep over them, wondering if there was more she could do.

She always wanted to do more, be more, do better, be better. She strived to be great, it was a shame she was part of this family, he wondered what she would become versus what she could have become. What they all could've been. Maybe next life.

*****

May 14th, 1965

*****BELLATRIX*****

Jupiter returned with a short letter from Regulus thanking her for the gossip and asking for more which Rita gladly wrote down. Exams inched closer, only two weeks until they began. It seemed like forever, but really it wasn't. Soon Bellatrix would be drawing blood, she had pushed the thought down, it did her no good, but as it grew closer it invaded her mind.

Then if it worked she and Rita would be going to France, if it didn't either she'd be dead, or she would wish she was.

*****

June 1st, 1965

The first day of exams snuck up on them like some sort of poetic metaphor Bellatrix couldn't be bothered to think of.

Eliza threw up after their potions exam, nerves.

****

June 5th, 1965

Time seemed to pass differently, quicker, unless she was with Rita she wasn't even present. She took her tests in a daze, all she thought about was getting home and getting this stupid thing done.

The closer the time came the more nervous she was, she played it off as exam nerves.

****

June 7th, 1965

They were on the train. They were on the train, they were going home. Home. Home?

Whatever.

She hardly spoke, Rita did, she tried to listen, but still. It's fine, she'd see Rita in July for the World cup, they'd spend the second half of the summer in France, Narcissa and Regulus would be safe. Safe?

Whatever. She knew what she had to do.

The train pulled into the station, she gathered her sisters and said goodbye to Rita. They walked off in separate directions, Rita looked back, she didn't know exactly what Bellatrix was planning, but it wasn't good. Still, Bellatrix didn't know what she was planning either.

Bellatrix greeted her mother and father on the platform and they dissaparated.

Rita greeted her mother and father on the platform, then they dissaparated.

Bellatrix spent the day telling her family everything about school, her sisters did the same. They had diner finally and Bellatrix wanted to sleep, but she had to wait.

Rita excused herself when she got home.

At 11:30 Bellatrix rose again and unlocked her trunk. She took out the ingredients she had stolen from Slughorn. She looked at the clock, this time tomorrow she would be bleeding.

At 11:30 Rita rose again and unlocked her trunk. She took out the ingredients she had stolen from Slughorn. She looked at the clock, this time tomorrow she would be chanting a spell.

Bellatrix crushed the ingredients together into powder she dissolved into water. It was nearly midnight.

Rita took out the mandrake leaf. It was nearly midnight.

Bellatrix watched as the clock struck twelve.

"Hanc potionem sume, sanguinem meum in venenum vertite, sanguis meus nos tuebitur." She chanted the ancient phrase and drank the potion.

Rita watched as the clock struck twelve.

The full moon was directly over her, she put the mandrake leaf in her cheek using a sticking charm.

Bellatrix climbed into bed, it would work.

Rita climbed into bed, it would work. She would become an animagus.

Chapter Text

June 8th, 1965

Bellatrix was woken by Kreature who informed her to get ready and come to breakfast.

She quickly wet and brushed her hair before changing into a black dress. Narcissa met her in the hallway and they walked down together. Andromeda was already at the table with their parents.

"Sit," Cygnus said,

Bellatrix looked at Narcissa before taking her seat. Her hands shook slightly, what if they knew what she was planning, what she was doing?

Their father cleared his throat before saying, "Next year Narcissa will be trying out for the quidditch team. She will make it, and while we could hire a professional coach as we did with you, it would be easier to have you teach her on your old broom."

"My old broom?" Bellatrix asked, she only had one broom,

"Oh, I've gotten ahead of myself," Cygnus sighed and called for Horrendum who arrived carrying a new broom, the elf handed it to Bellatrix who accepted it with care. "Of course before the school year we'll get Narcissa a proper broom, but for now yours will do, especially in case she breaks it."

"Thank you," Bellatrix said,

"Is it true Rudolphus is going to be captain this year?" Narcissa asked,

"Probably," Andromeda muttered,

"Speak up, or don't speak." Druella sneered,

Andromeda didn't reply,

"The words you're groping for are 'I'm sorry Mother.'" Druella said, her voice rising,

"The words I'm groping for I can't say without you using an unforgivable on me," Andromeda snapped, "mother." she spit.

The room was silent, everyone stared at her, their mother's mouth hung open, their father's face turned red as a tomato. Bellatrix looked at Narcissa who glanced between Andy and their parents.

Andromeda, that stupid girl, just sat there unwavering,

Every breath Bellatrix took felt like a risk, this wasn't going to go well at all.

"Who did you tell?" Cygnus hissed.

"What?" Andromeda asked,

"Who did you tell?!" He screamed, his chair clattered to the floor as he stood up and rounded on Andromeda. He grabbed her arm tightly and yanked her up; Bellatrix saw the fear in her eyes, she was too worried about Narcissa to even think about what Andromeda had just revealed. Their parents rage would blow up on all of them in a moment.

"No one!" Andromeda said, her voice broke, tears threatened to spill from her eyes,

"Liar!" Cygnus's voice shook the room, even Druella seemed scared.

"I swear!" Tears fell onto Andy's cheeks,

"Stop crying before I give you something to cry about!" Their father screamed, "You had to have told someone otherwise-"

"CYGNUS!" Druella cut him off, he turned on her in rage, but she motioned to Bellatrix and Narcissa and he understood. They couldn't know.

"Come on," He snarled before pulling Andromeda away by the arm. The two disappeared from the room.

Narcissa let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. Bellatrix looked to their mother who didn't meet her gaze.

"Go to your rooms." Druella said quietly,

Bellatrix and Narcissa stood immediately and left quietly, worried that if they made a noise she would have them come back.

On the landing Bellatrix looked to Narcissa who had tears in her eyes, her lip quivered. Bellatrix looked back down the stairs, making sure no one was there before grabbing Narcissa's hand and pulling her into her room. She shut the door and cast a muffling spell.

Narcissa broke down as the words left her sister's mouth. She nearly fell onto the floor but Bellatrix rushed up and grabbed her, holding her little sister against her chest.

"It's okay," She whispered petting Cissa's hair,

"Why did she have to do that?" Narcissa said between sobs,

"I don't know," Bellatrix whispered, "I don't know."

"She could've kept the peace!" Cissa wailed,

"I'm sorry," Bellatrix whispered, tears wet her cheeks. "I'm so sorry Cissa."

"I hate it here!"

"Don't say that..."

"I hate her!" Narcissa screamed,

Bellatrix wasn't sure whether she meant Andromeda or Druella.

******
Horrendum came a few hours later informing them their aunt and uncle were coming with Regulus and Sirius.

"And what of Andromeda?" Bellatrix asked,

"Master said Horrendum isn't to tell you," The elf said sheepishly before turning to leave, Bellatrix grabbed her arm lightly.

"Please," She begged, the elf shifted a little before responding quietly,

"She is to stay in her room, no one is to go in. I can't say more."

"Thank you," Bellatrix said, releasing the elf's arm. Selfishly, the only concern about Andromeda was that Bellatrix needed her to drink the potion tonight, and she was locked away.

******
Narcissa and Bellatrix went downstairs to meet Sirius and Regulus along with their parents.

Walburga detained Bellatrix for nearly an hour talking about all sorts of things while Cygnus and Orion went to the study, Druella went off to who knows where, and the other children were sent to the drawing room.

"How was school?" Her aunt asked excitedly,

"Alright," Bellatrix replied,

"And Rudolphus?"

"Hates me," Bellatrix said,

"Really?" Walburga seemed genuinely shocked,

"Well, maybe he doesn't hate me, but he most certainly doesn't like me." Bellatrix muttered,

"Give it time," Walburga said, "Orion hated me practically up until our wedding."

Bellatrix smiled and agreed, but she didn't want that, a loveless marriage. To be tied to someone she didn't love, who didn't love her. It would be miserable, it would just be easier if she could marry Rita, that would make her happy.

******

When Bellatrix was dismissed she practically ran to the drawing room, not because she didn't like aunt Walburga's company, but she wanted to see Reggie.

She arrived at the doors and burst through the room, her excitement hardly able to contain.

That excitement faded as she watched Regulus and Sirius flinch at her entrance, even once they relaxed seeing it was just her she was still distraught. Just another reminder why tonight had to go perfectly.

As Regulus's fear at the initial entrance faded he sprung up and wrapped his arms around Bellatrix, she hugged him back.

"You're back!" He said,

"I'm back," Bellatrix replied, she held onto him until he let go.

*******REGULUS******

Regulus felt safe in Bellatrix's arms, safer than he had in a long time. Maybe it wasn't the most logical attachment, by no means was she warm or particularly nice, but she was nice in her own way, especially to him. She was strong, that was something he admired about her, she always seemed to know what to do, and she could do anything. To Regulus she was invincible, it was a childish notion, she was just a kid herself, but she could keep him safe.

There was a novelty in the fact Walburga liked her as well, like she could tame his mother who was never kind to anyone.

Bellatrix was a lot like Walburga in many ways. He liked the feeling of love Bellatrix gave him, like he mattered, it was almost like having his own mother care for him. Almost.

******BELLATRIX******

"So what have you all been up to?" Bellatrix asked,

"Where's Andromeda?" Sirius asked,

"In her room." Bellatrix answered coldly,

"I want to see her!" Sirius protested,

"Well you can't." Bellatrix stated,

She wasn't entirely sure why she scorned Sirius, why she shut him out. Jealousy maybe, he got everything she wanted, he would be their perfect little heir, he would always be worth more just because of what was in his pants, and it pissed her off. Another part of it was that she blamed him entirely for Aunt Walburga's problems. He took her from them, from Regulus. She became someone else after he was born, and he hated her for something that he caused her to be. And Bellatrix hated him for depriving her and Andy and Cissa and Reggie of the loving funny aunt only she seemed to remember.

"Can we go into the garden?" Regulus asked quietly,

"Sure," Bellatrix replied.

****RITA****

Becoming an animagus was more of a challenge than she had thought. It was nearly impossible to not rip or swallow that stupid mandrake leaf, and talking was hard. She tried to say as little as possible. She wasn't sure how she could do this for 29 days till the next full moon.

She was sure the amount of reading it had required would permanently make her vision worse which wasn't great considering she was already next to useless without glasses.

"Rita!" Her mom called from downstairs.

"Coming!" Rita answered, she padded down the stairs and into their kitchen.

"This weekend we're going to the lake, uhm, your friend, I was thinking you could invite her!" Her mom said, "Bellatrix?"

"I can write her and ask, but her parents might say no." Rita replied,

"They are strange," Elaine commented, "Well I think if we're letting you go with them to France for a month she should be able to come stay with us for a week."

Rita's mother was a sweet woman, the kind that bakes bread and makes her own jam in pretty jars. Rita took after her, the same blonde hair and green eyes. Anyone could tell they were related. Sometimes Rita wondered how on earth they had convinced Trix's parents to accept them, at least a little.

"Maybe it would be better if I wrote them, her parents seem rather fond of me." Elaine mused,

"Who's rather fond of you?" Rita's dad said as he entered the kitchen, he was just getting back from the ministry.

"DAD!" Rita rushed over to him, jumping into his arms,

"Hey bug!" Her dad said, folding her into his arms.

Rita pulled away smiling and turned back to her mother,

Her dad went over to her mom and kissed her on the cheek,

"So who's fond of my lovely wife?" Claus asked,

"Rita's friend's parents, the Blacks." Elaine filled in,

"Ahh," Her dad said,

"I was telling Rita about our plans to go to the lake and asked her if she wanted to invite Bellatrix," Her mom said,

"That sounds like a good idea."

"mhm, I'm going to write them now. Rita will you watch the bread in the oven and set the table?" She asked, taking off her apron and leaving to her office,

"Sure," Rita replied.

She pulled out the plates and silverware to begin setting the table, her dad sat on a chair and started asking her about how school had been.

"It was good," Rita answered,

"Good? Not Amazing? Anything interesting?" Her dad asked,

"Loads interesting, but nothing you'd find interesting." Rita replied with a smile,

"Try me,"

Rita smiled, "Well, there was a lot of drama between these two 5th years. You see, these two girls were dating the same guy and..."

Rita launched into a long winded explanation of everything that had happened over the year, at a certain point she forgot to set the table or even check on the bread as she sat telling all the drama to her father.

Suddenly the smoke alarm went off, Rita snapped out of it and rushed to the oven, the bread had burnt and was now smoking. Her mother rushed in and grabbed oven mitts to pull out the bread as Rita turned the oven off.

"I'm so so sorry mom!" Rita exclaimed, "I got distracted telling dad about school!"

"It's alright, it was an accident," Claus said,

"I asked you to watch the bread!" Her mom scolded, "And set the table!" She said motioning to the unset table,

"I'm really sorry!" Rita apologized,

Her mom sighed, her dad got up and went over to Elaine. Her laid his hands on her arms,

"Take a breath," He said softly, "It's okay."

Elaine took a breath and sighed,

"I'm really sorry mom." Rita said,

"It's okay," Her mom said, "Just pay more attention next time."

"I will." Rita reassured,

******BELLATRIX******

One hour, in one hour she would complete her mission. In one hour she would take a blade and slit her own wrists. Then when she finished at her house she'd sneak to the floo powder and go to their cousin's, then the houses in France, and finally back home.

In one hour Orion would never touch them again.

*****

June 9th, 1965, 12:00 am

Bellatrix already had the blade in her hand, as soon as the clock struck, she knew it would happen but it felt like fire burning through her blood. She screamed into her teeth.

Deep breaths, she had to be quiet. She opened her door and got out, she would start with Narcissa. She walked down the hall to her sister's room. At the threshold she took the knife and cut into her wrist. It wasn't deep enough, no blood came out. She cut again over the same spot, she was rewarded with a gush of red. She began running her bloodied wrist over the door frame. The blood turned clear and vanished as it made contact with the wood. Then it was done, next door, Andromeda.

She repeated the process for her other sister, then Regulus's door, then Sirius's. She made it back to her door and painted a coat over that as well. Now to Sirius and Regulus's home.

She stopped the bleeding with a towel as she walked to the fire place.

Green flames engulfed her as she went to Grimmauld place.

Her heart beat out of her chest, she was terrified of getting caught. In front of Regulus's door she re-opened the same gash. She yelped at the pain, adrenaline was no longer on her side.

Sirius's door, Andromeda's, Narcissa's, her's.

Back to the fire place, she felt sick and dizzy, the blood didn't stop at first, she pushed down harder with the cloth until it did.

France... their houses in France.

Green fire, new fireplace.

Stumble up the stairs, Narcissa's room, head pounding.

Regulus's room, too much blood, what time was it? Was she being quiet enough?

Andromeda's room, what was she doing? This was stupid. Her vision swam. She wanted to throw up.

Sirius's room.

Her room.

Fireplace.

Floo powder, she's still bleeding, pause stop the flow.

Green flames.

She landed in Walburga's house in France. She hit her head on the brick. She had a headache. Last house.

Upstairs.

Cut again, more blood. Narcissa, Regulus, Andromeda, Sirius, fireplace. Home. Home.

She was going to faint, she had to be quiet. Pressure on the wound.

She forgot something,

Regulus, Cissa, Andy, Sirius... no she got everyone.

Home,

Green flames. Home.

Back to her room. Wait, Cissa. She opened her sister's door, she was asleep.

Bellatrix crept up to her sister's bed and shook her slightly.

"Cissa." She hissed,

Narcissa stirred and turned,

"Bella?"

"Drink." Bellatrix held out the glass she grabbed from Cissa's nightstand. She had filled it with her blood that turned clear upon contact.

"What?" Narcissa asked, rubbing her eyes,

"Just drink." Bellatrix said, she pushed the glass to Narcissa's lips. She drank. Bellatrix left. Regulus.

Same thing, Regulus was more willing, he didn't ask any questions.

Andromeda, no Sirius first. Andy was riskier.

She didn't even wake him, it was pointless.

"Imperio." She whispered, she handed him the glass, he drank.

Andromeda. Bellatrix could feel herself slipping, each step felt like sinking. Sheer will kept her moving.

"Alohomora." She slurred, the door clicked, Andromeda was already awake.

"Bella?" She asked, concern painted her face. "What happened?" She took in her sister's pale face, the way she was swaying.

"Drink," Bellatrix slurred. She always filled the cup before going into the next room, they didn't need to watch her press into her arm trying to get more blood to flow. The original cut had become deeper, each time it was harder to stop the flow of blood.

Andromeda tried to protest but Bellatrix wouldn't do anything until her sister drank.

Andromeda caught Bellatrix as she tried to leave. Sleep, she wanted sleep, she was so so tired.

Bellatrix let her weight drop in Andromeda's arms, almost pulling them both to the floor.

She pressed into her wrist one last time, filling the glass.

"Andy?" She asked, her voice was breathy,

"Im here," Andromeda replied,

"Make me drink this if I pass out." Bellatrix pleaded, there was so much weakness in her voice, tears filled her lidded eyes. She lifted the glass to her mouth, some spilled over her dress but she didn't care.

It got darker,

Her head hurt.

Nothing... Nothing...

*****ANDROMEDA*****

Andromeda watched as her sister faded out of consciousness. She had finished the glass before passing out, Andromeda couldn't hold her up anymore, she gently lowered the both of them to the ground.

"Oh Merlin, oh Merlin..." Andromeda muttered. She was pressing down on the cut on Bellatrix's wrist. She was scared of hurting her, but then again, she was more scared of her bleeding out.

Andromeda rushed to her bathroom, frantically searching for bandages or something. There were none, she didn't know any fucking healing spells.

Her sister was going to die, her sister was going to die and she would be responsible.

"Horrendum!" She whispered, "Please it's Bellatrix!"

Crack

The elf appeared and bowed,

"Please help her!" Andromeda begged, tears ran down her cheeks as she grasped Bellatrix's wrist.

The elf immediately hobbled to Bellatrix and pushed Andromeda's hands away, she began to say something under her breath.

Andromeda watched as the cut closed very slowly.

******

The sun was rising when the elf took Bellatrix back to her room, Andromeda made her swear not to leave until Bellatrix woke up and not to tell their parents.

******BELLATRIX******

Bellatrix opened her eyes, she felt tired and sick.

Horrendum was there, the little elf sat on a stool beside Bellatrix's bed.

"Don't tell anyone."

Those were the first words out of Bellatrix, she was terrified someone would find out.

The elf bowed and left.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat up. Blackness filled her vision and she nearly passed out again but after a minute she steadied. Slowly she stood and walked to her desk, she grabbed her wand and left as quietly as she could. She was still in her night clothes as she crept to Andromeda's room.

She opened the door slowly, it was still unlocked. Andromeda had fallen asleep at some point, but Bellatrix remembered enough to know Andromeda would ask questions. That couldn't happen.

She raised her wand to her sister's temple,

"Obliviate."

******

June 13th, 1965

No one spoke of what Bellatrix had done because no one knew. But it had worked, Bellatrix knew it had when Orion tried to enter her room late at night and he couldn't. She supposed Orion figured it out as well but it was too late, he couldn't do anything and couldn't say anything about it.

The sickly feelings she had disappeared with time. Orion, Walburga, Regulus and Sirius had left earlier that day. They wouldn't see their cousins till France in mid-July. Regulus had been upset at the news.

The reason for their quick departure was Sirius who had been on a streak of misbehavior. It was to the point where Walburga and Orion were genuinely contemplating staying home with him from France. Regulus knew this, and he hated that Sirius made it so he had to go home, he wanted to spend more time with Bella and Cissa.

*Dear Trixie,

I miss you tons, and my mum said she was going to send an owl to your parents
to see if you could come to the lake with us for a week. We would leave the 20th of June,
and come back the 27th.
I'd love for you to come! Also I miss you and can't wait to spend half the summer in France with you.

Xoxo- Rita*

Bellatrix wondered if her mother would even inform her of the invitation. Probably not, she would most likely just decline.

*Dear Rita,

I miss you so much, my mother hasn't told me anything about the invitation.
She probably will say no, but either way I'll see you. Regulus sends his thanks
for the gossip. He went home today,
Can't wait to see you again.

Love, Bellatrix*

*****

June 15th, 1965

CRACK

"Miss Bellatrix is requested in the drawing room." Horrendum said,

"Thank you Horrendum," Bellatrix replied, the elf bowed before leaving.

Bellatrix quickly sealed the letter and gave it to Jupiter before hurrying to the drawing room.

Her mother stood waiting by the window, her back facing Bellatrix. Bellatrix swallowed, maybe they knew, maybe she was being punished. She approached her mother carefully, as if it were a wild animal.

"Mother?" She asked,

"Come, stand beside me." Druella said without turning to face her.

Bellatrix walked over to her mother's right side and looked up at her.

"Look outside," Druella said, "What do you see?"

Bellatrix shifted her gaze to the garden, it was sunny and green. She could see the fruit trees in full bloom and the paths that led deeper into the extensive grounds.

Bellatrix thought about her answer,

"Light," She replied,

"Is it beautiful?" Druella asked,

Again, Bellatrix paused, she supposed it was, conventionally it was a very pleasant view but it didn't interest Bellatrix, she had no use for it and there was nothing that made it stand out. To Bellatrix it was plain, something people gazed upon and said things such as: Oh what a pretty garden!- But they never watched it for long before something else caught their fancy.

"I suppose it is a lovely garden mother," Bellatrix replied,

"But do you find it pretty?"

"Truthfully I don't see any great beauty in it but it is certainly not unpleasant." Bellatrix mused,

"Why not?" Druella asked,

Bellatrix grew more anxious, the last thing she needed was to offend her mother.

"There is nothing interesting about it." Bellatrix said, "Nothing that captures my attention, it is all so light and lush."

"And what would you find beautiful Bellatrix?" Druella questioned,

Bellatrix looked harder at the garden. She tried to envision things to add or take away that would make the grounds prettier to her standards. She found none.

"I don't think there is something to do that would make me find the garden more pleasing." Bellatrix said finally.

"You misunderstand me." Druella said, she turned to Bellatrix. For a moment Bellatrix thought she saw kindness and pride in her mother's eyes. "What strikes you as beautiful?"

Rita

That was the first thing that came to Bellatrix's mind when asked about beauty. Rita was what she considered beautiful.

That wasn't a good answer.

"I find beauty in darkness," Bellatrix said, "I think it should be unsettling to a degree. Novelty strikes me as beautiful. Security can be pretty, but I think true beauty lies in what we cannot trust."

Druella didn't answer, instead she turned back to the garden.

Bellatrix stood with her mother for another few minutes, searching for whatever Druella was fixated on beyond the house. She didn't find it.

As Bellatrix turned to leave Druella spoke.

"You were invited to go to a lake with the Skeeters for a week." She said,

Bellatrix turned back to her mother.

"Would you like to go?" Druella asked,

"Yes." Bellatrix answered uncertainty.

"You leave the 20th," Druella replied, "Alert Horrendum if there is something you require for the trip." She extended the letter Rita's mom had sent to Bellatrix before leaving.

Bellatrix stood dumbfounded in the drawing room reading the letter.

* To Mrs. Druella Black,

Hello,
I hope your summer is fairing well.
I am writing to extend an invitation to your eldest daughter, Bellatrix.
My family is taking a week trip to our house by the lake and my daughter, Rita, informed me she would enjoy Bellatrix's company.
We would pick her up the 20th at noon, if you agree and return her the 27th.
I sincerely hope you do accept.

I would also like to thank you again for your offer of taking Rita to France for the months of mid-july and august.
She is excited to join your family.

Respectfully, Elaine Skeeter *

Maybe Bellatrix had gotten old enough to be trusted, maybe she was just obedient enough that her mother and father didn't even consider the possibility of her misbehaving. Either way, she was being given freedom.

*****

In the days leading up to Bellatrix's departure to the lake her parents called upon her more. She tried her best to be perfect and do everything. It was all a test, she had to pass to go with Rita. She would pass.

On the 16th, she was invited to have tea with her mother and some of her friends. Her father asked her opinions on certain politics.

The 17th she accompanied her mother to the Rosier's for a dinner. She loved it. The dresses and people and manners. Everyone spoke eloquently and for the first time regarded her as more than a burden or a child.

On the 18th, Rudolphus and his family came to dinner one night. He looked at her differently now, less as if she was a child. He even spoke to her differently, asking about things such as the weather and other pleasantries people were expected to speak about. She liked the small talk, it saved her from wondering what to say no matter how tedious it was. To her it was almost a game, like dress up.

The biggest change came on the 19th when Andromeda snapped at her father again. Narcissa had been sent away right after, while her father took her and Andromeda to his study. Bellatrix had expected to be punished but instead her father sat at his desk and told Bellatrix to raise her wand.

There had been a time when she had hated it; when she loathed to discipline her cousins and sisters. Now there was power in it, obviously she didn't enjoy it but without herself being punished it was okay. She knew it was necessary, people need to be punished. She was doing the right thing.

Chapter Text

June 20th, 1965

Rita and her family arrived at exactly noon. Bellatrix and her mother waited at the door for them to knock.

A few pleasantries and questions were exchanged before Bellatrix was apparating again, this time with Rita.

They landed outside a quaint cabin. Bellatrix heard birds chirping. The air was cool without being cold and the grass was tall with flowers. As she looked around she saw the gorgeous lake right behind the cabin. The sun glittered off the clear water. Bellatrix was certain she would be able to see the bottom if she were closer.

She took in a breath. Rita's hand was intertwined with her own. She looked down at where their bodies joined, heat raced through her body. She should pull away. She didn't.

Rita's parents led her into the cabin and showed her the room she would share with Rita. It was small but beautiful. Art hung on every wall and an ornate rug laid on the floor. A bunk bed stood in one corner of the room while a dresser stood in the other.

Bellatrix opened her trunk and unpacked with Rita. All the while the two girls giggled and talked about whatever. They didn't have much to say, but they said a lot.

Rita seemed to mumble slightly and when Bellatrix asked Rita brushed it off saying she had bit her cheek earlier and had to be careful.

The sun was still high in the sky and Rita's parents said they were going to the store for a few hours and that the girls were welcome to do whatever they pleased.

Bellatrix was walking on eggshells around them, never speaking out of turn or doing anything that could be perceived as rude or disrespectful.

Once they were gone Bellatrix rushed to Rita and threw her arms around her.

"Sorry I didn't hug you earlier, I didn't want to be rude or childish." Bellatrix said,

Rita laughed and hugged her back, "My parents don't care in the slightest, seriously do whatever."

"It feels weird, to see you talk to normally with them." Bellatrix said,

"Well, just loosen up." Rita said, "Anyway, we can change into swimsuits and go to the lake if you want?"

"Okay," Bellatrix said.

Bellatrix changed into a long-sleeve black swim-dress.

"Ready?" Bellatrix asked knocking on the bathroom door,

"Can you tie something for me?" Rita asked, she opened the door.

Bellatrix's breath caught in her throat as she looked Rita up and down. Heat raced through her body and created a blush on her face. She couldn't tear her eyes away.

Rita wore a green two piece bathing suit. The top tied around her neck and Rita held two other straps against her back. The short-style bottoms rose to her belly button and left a few inches of skin between.

"Trix?" Rita asked,

Bellatrix ripped her gaze back to Rita's face with shame, "sorry, what?"

Rita turned around and handed Bellatrix the straps. "Tie these together."

"In a bow or knot?" Bellatrix asked trying to tear her thoughts away from Rita's milky skin.

She shouldn't be thinking this, she shouldn't be feeling this.

She wasn't- it wasn't like that, it was just she had never seen so much skin before.

That's what she told herself.

"Bow," Rita answered.

Bellatrix slowly tied the two straps together, sometimes her finger would brush Rita's back and Rita would shiver slightly.

"Done." Bellatrix brought her hands away from Rita's back and let them fall at her sides.

"Thanks," Rita turned around,

Bellatrix nodded.

The girls walked to the lake and while Bellatrix wished she was able to say she didn't look at Rita, she did. Her eyes tracked Rita's pretty legs and they walked down the stairs to the lake. She watched Rita like a horror movie she hated but couldn't bear to take her eyes off. It was too intoxicating, too tempting, too horrible.

The water was clear. Even as the girls swam to the middle they could see the bottom. Bellatrix dove down to the bottom, it was about twenty feet. Fish swam through the crystal water, they were colorful and fast. Bellatrix and Rita made a game of chasing them but they never even got close.

Bellatrix and Rita swam under the surface, watching each other. Rita loved the way Bellatrix's hair rose in the water and floated around. Each time she came up for air she was tangled in it.

Eventually they got tired and swam to the shore. Rita's parents hadn't come back yet.

They dried off and sat by the edge of where the water touched the land. The sun was setting and it was getting cooler. Rita inches closer to Bellatrix so they were touching.

Bellatrix stiffened, it was so new, so fragile, such a vulnerable moment.

Rita ran her hand through Bellatrix's damp hair. Her touch was soothing and sweet.

Fuck it.

Bellatrix took the towel from around her shoulders and draped it to hold both of them. Rita leaned into Bellatrix, and Bellatrix put her arm around Rita.

The sun went down. The stars came out.

"Should we go inside?" Rita asked,

"Probably." Bellatrix answered, but neither moved to leave. Instead, Bellatrix layed down on the grass, Rita curled into her. Their legs tangled as their arms wrapped around each other and Bellatrix was perfectly happy.

******

Bellatrix and Rita both fell asleep by the river. The night got colder and they got closer.

Bellatrix was woken by the sound of apparition. Immediately she shot up, waking Rita in the process.

"Your parents are here," Bellatrix said hurriedly, "We need to get inside and pretend to be asleep." She was already collecting her things.

"What?" Rita asked, sitting up slowly,

"Hurry!" Bellatrix hissed, "I don't want to get in trouble!"

Rita grabbed Bellatrix's wrist. "We won't get in trouble for this. It's fine Trix." She said kindly but sternly,

"But-"

"No, it's different, there are different rules, and I don't know everything they did to you that made you this scared, but it's not okay." Rita said, "Just take a breath and stay here, you'll see what I mean."

Bellatrix's heart was beating out of her chest and she could barely register the criticism of her family's harsh ways. Still, she trusted Rita. Bellatrix laid back down on the grass and Rita curled into her side. Bellatrix was too erratic to relax.

Rita noticed how stiff she was and grabbed onto her hand. Rita intertwined her fingers with Bellatrix's and squeezed. Bellatrix squeezed back.

Bellatrix could hear footsteps approaching and she knew Rita's parents were right there, her anticipation grew with each second as her breathing picked up.

Elaine and Claus approached quietly, murmuring to each other.

"Lumos," Elaine said, a small light fell on the girls, Bellatrix closed her eyes and tried to act like she was asleep.

"they're asleep," Claus whispered,

"Should we wake them up and bring them in?" Elaine asked in a hushed voice,

"No," Claus replied, "It's a nice night, let them sleep. Plus, Rita said her friend had a hard time sleeping."

At this Bellatrix clenched her teeth, it wasn't Rita's business to go around telling people Bellatrix was haunted by night terrors because she was a fucking baby. Still, she didn't say anything.

"I'll get them a blanket," Elaine said before retreating with Claus into the house.

When Bellatrix was sure they were out of eye and earshot she moved, "Who else did you fucking tell?" She spit,

"What?" Rita asked in an innocent tone, Bellatrix didn't buy it for a second,

"That I couldn't sleep! I can sleep! And it makes me look weak, so who else did you tell? And what else have you told people hm? All my fucking secrets?" Bellatrix's voice rose to a point where she was almost shouting,

"Trix, shhh, we're asleep remember?" Rita whispered, as if on cue Elaine came out with blankets. Bellatrix shut up for the moment and they went back to fake sleeping.

Rita's mom draped the quilt over them, Rita squeezed Bellatrix's hand again under the cover. Bellatrix should've let go, but she didn't.

Elaine finally left and Bellatrix spoke quietly, "What did you tell them?" She asked,

In the time Rita's mom had taken Bellatrix had cooled off and as it always did, her anger turned to hurt and distrust. Or maybe it was always hurt and she had just been masking it with anger.

"Trix," Rita replied softly, "Does it matter? Can't we just be... I don't know... happy for once."

Their hands remained intertwined and sleep fought to overwhelm them both but Bellatrix fended it off.

"Yes it matters, because I tell you things in confidence and if you tell everyone my secrets the way you seem so eager to with everyone else, I can't trust you, and there is no relationship without trust." Bellatrix replied coldly, "So what did you tell them?"

"I only told my mum and dad when I knew you were coming because I didn't want them to say anything if you had nightmares." Rita replied, her voice was quiet and she sounded tired.

"What did you say?" Bellatrix asked, she was growing impatient,

"I just said sometimes you would have trouble sleeping but that you didn't want to talk about it. And then they asked why, so I told them you got nightmares." Rita answered sensing Bellatrix's hostility,

"You made me look weak." Bellatrix muttered,

"They don't see it that way, and neither do I." Rita assured, she put her other hand on Bellatrix's arm. "You are so much more than you think."

Bellatrix gazed into Rita's eyes, she saw kindness, and care, and love, and everything she wished she saw from her family. And Rita valued Bellatrix, for more than just what she could do or be, for more than her ability to be a good wife one day, or even a good witch. Rita valued Bellatrix for who she was, faults and all.

Maybe it was ok, maybe she could feel like this forever.

Foolish thoughts from a foolish girl,
Hopeful thoughts from a girl deeply in love,

*****

June 21st, 1965

The morning sun shone down on the two girls who had fallen asleep. Bellatrix's hair had caught some morning dew, it glittered like the diamonds she wore to parties. It entranced Rita who wished she could freeze the moment forever. She had the strong urge to just lean in and kiss her. She wondered, not for the first time, what her best friend would taste like.

*****

Once the girls had went inside and dressed they returned to the field.

"So, we could swim again today or there is a forest with a meadow I could take you to." Rita said,

"Meadow sounds nice." Bellatrix replied, tension still hung in the air.

The walk to the meadow was about twenty minutes.

Bellatrix and Rita walked side by side through the forest. The trees created a canopy that filtered the sun onto the floor is rays. It was gorgeous.

There was no path directly to the meadow so they were winding between bushes and trees. It was peaceful.

A chorus of birds sang different songs that all mixed into a beautiful melody. Bees and butterflies flew in front of them going to and from flowers and bushes.

"I'm sorry about last night," Rita said, it wasn't her fault but Bellatrix would die before admitting fault first and the air needed to be cleared.

"I snapped at you, I'm sorry as well." Bellatrix replied stiffly, she still had trouble apologizing.

Rita and Bellatrix weren't new to fighting, they did it all the time, but they always made up silently, communication was awkward for Bellatrix and Rita never knew what to say to her.

Rita wanted to say something more on the subject but decided not to.

They made it to the field around noon. It was the most beautiful place Bellatrix had even been. The trees blocked out most of the hot afternoon sun and cast a green glow on the floor. Tall grass with wildflowers covered the entire area and moss coated the ground making it so soft they could walk along barefoot. Bees and butterflies zigzagged through the air going from one flower to the next.

Bids fluttered about and sun in the branches of the tall willows.

Rita led Bellatrix through the branches of a particularly large willow. The leaves were so dense you couldn't see what was behind them and they touched the forest floor. A sweet aroma hung in the air.

Rita let the branches she had pushed aside fall back into place once Bellatrix had gone through.

Bellatrix slid her feet out of her flats and ran them along the moss-covered ground. She smiled and met Rita's gaze.

"If my parents were here-"

"But they aren't." Rita interrupted "So don't even think about them."

Bellatrix's grin grew and she twirled around with her arms out. She tilted her head to the sky and watched everything blur together.

Rita watched as Bellatrix's black dress fanned out around her, she looked almost unreal, like a spinning shadow.

Bellatrix only stopped when it was starting to make her sick. The world spun around as if she was the center of a top. She stumbled for a moment trying to regain her footing.

"Are you quite alright?" Rita asked with a smile,

Bellatrix giggled,

"Is this what it's like?" Bellatrix asked,

"What what's like?" Rita asked,

Bellatrix gestured around herself loosely, "This, all of this freedom and..." She took a breath, " and love." the last part came in a whisper. Bellatrix's eyes fell to the floor, searching for something that didn't exist.

Rita walked to where Bellatrix stood, barely any space between them. They were sharing the same air. Rita pulled Bellatrix into a tight hug,

"This," Rita said softly, "This is what love feels like."

Bellatrix's arms wrapped around Rita, holding on to the feeling of her body, the feelings that only Rita made Bellatrix feel. Bellatrix's heart beat fast, and it seemed to be in sync with Rita's. The combined thumping was hypnotic.

Bellatrix let go first and Rita let her arms drop but neither moved away. Bellatrix stared into Rita's eyes, she could draw them with her eyes closed, she had seen them in her sleep. She knew each and every line of color, the places where it looked like a cavern in the iris.

Rita stared right back into Bellatrix's usually black eyes. In this light Rita could see her pupils, and that her eyes were a very dark brown, not black. In the light they looked almost like gold. It reminded her of how stained glass looks opaque until hit with sun, and then you see all the lines where the color wasn't entirely even, you see the dark and the light.

Bellatrix's eyes flickered down to Rita's lips, and under the cover of the willow it didn't seem so wrong, no one would see, was it even real? Maybe one time would get rid of the ideas Bellatrix found in her more pleasant dreams, maybe it would go away and she would be normal if she gave into this one urge.

Maybe Rita had imagined Bellatrix's eyes flickering down to her lips, it made no sense. Rita's tongue ran over the mandrake leaf still in the inside of her cheek. Only two weeks until she would spit it out.

Bellatrix's breath caught as she watched Rita. She leaned forward subconsciously.

Rita drew in a breath and stepped back before turning around. Bellatrix was taken aback.

Just like that the moment was over and Bellatrix felt guilt like a fire burning inside her stomach. She felt it scorching her insides, if anyone ever knew... It had been a lapse in judgment, and it wouldn't happen again. Bellatrix was determined to make it through the summer without one of those thoughts.

Rita took a breath and then turned back to Bellatrix with a smile. "We should go home, I'm getting hungry."

"Oh" Bellatrix said, "Okay." She didn't want to leave this little place yet. Still, she followed Rita out and home.

*****

June 22nd, 1965

For the first time, Bellatrix experienced real family.

There was no elf to wake her, only the sweet smell of something cooking. Rita and her rose around the same time, and while Bellatrix went to get ready Rita told her not to bother, so they went to breakfast in their sleep clothes. Bellatrix was apprehensive at first but that disappeared when she saw Rita's parents were still in night clothes. Rita began to set the little wooden table where they would eat. Bellatrix tried to help but didn't know what she was doing so she just ended up watching.

Then Elaine brought over plates and set them on the table. Bella, Rita, and Claus sat at the table and waited for Elaine to join them. There was no looming dread hanging over Bellatrix's head like there usually was at her house. She never even noticed its presence until it was gone. Somehow it made her feel bare, like something was missing, like she would float away without that weight.

There was no formality, Rita's mom had made eggs and pancakes and sausage. There was also fresh orange juice.

Everything tasted buttery and sweet.

They talked at breakfast, Rita's mom asked them what they had done yesterday, and Rita told her in great detail, even about things Bellatrix couldn't even dream of telling her parents.

Then Claus went fishing and Elaine took the girls to the garden where they spent and hour picking, and eating, raspberries. Elaine smiled all the time, Bellatrix wondered if her cheeks hurt. It seemed contagious and Bellatrix wasn't paying attention to her own expressions until her cheeks began to ache and she realized she had been smiling just as much.

Somehow it felt like a betrayal to be here, to be happy and having fun. Her parents wouldn't approve; she wondered how Elaine had managed to act well enough that Cygnus and Druella trusted her to act with decorum.

When all three of their baskets were full, they went inside and Elaine washed the raspberries.

*****

When the sun went down they ate a dinner of potatoes and chicken.

When the table had been cleared Rita's dad spoke, "So, shall we play charades or uno or something else?"

Bellatrix leaned into Rita and whispered, "I don't know those games," she felt hot at the admission she didn't know these.

"It's fine, we'll teach you." Rita whispered, she turned back to her father, "Charades."

"Alrighty!" He said clapping his hands together. "Bellatrix do you know how to play?"

Bellatrix shook her head,

"Ok, so basically, your team would write down ten things each, they can be anything. Then we do the same and put yours in our bowl and ours in your bowl. Then when it's your turn you pick out of your bowl and act out whatever is on the card, but you can't speak and your partner gets a minute to guess what it is. If they don't get it we guess, and you keep going until the minute is up."

Bellatrix stared back blankly,

"It's a lot, but you'll get it as we go on, first round can be a practice round." Rita said,

"Okay," Bellatrix replied.

They made their slips of paper. Bellatrix and Rita teamed up while her parents were together.

Elaine started, she pulled the first slip out of the bag and began to make the motion of writing,

"Writer!" Claus called out, Elaine shook her head, "Author!"

"Yes!" Elaine said, she threw down the paper and grabbed another.

When their minute was up, Rita went.

She smiled at her paper and began to act like she was riding a horse.

"Cowboy?" Bellatrix guessed, Rita shook her head, "Rider?", Again Rita shook her head. Bellatrix continued making guesses as Rita changed motions. All of them were wrong. The timer went off and Elaine shouted out the answer,

"Rodeo!"

"Yes!" Rita exclaimed, before going to sit back down.

"Sorry I didn't get it." Bellatrix muttered as Claus took his place,

"It's fine," Rita replied with a shrug, "It's just a game anyway."

"Uh, what do I do if I don't know what it is?" Bellatrix asked,

"I don't think there's gonna be something you don't know in there." Rita reassured,

"I don't know what a rodeo is." Bellatrix whispered,

"Oh!" Rita said, she seemed shocked, "Really?"

"Yes." Bellatrix answered,

"It's like the circus but less colorful." Rita answered, "You do know what a circus is-"

"Yes! OF course I know what a circus is!" Bellatrix hissed,

"Just making sure." Rita said, "Uhm I guess if you don't know just pick a new one."

"ok,"

In no time Claus had finished and it was Bellatrix's turn. She picked up the first slip of paper and opened it.

Vampire

Bellatrix tried her best to mime what she considered obvious giveaways for a vampire but Rita never got it, her parents didn't know either so at the end of the timer Bellatrix just told them what it was.

She went back to her seat, she felt stiff.

They continued playing for nearly an hour and by the end Bellatrix had opened up and gotten better. They didn't keep score of points and there was no pressure to do well because the object of the game was having fun.

*****

June, 26th, 1965

The week had been magical and Bellatrix felt a sinking in her stomach in knowing it was nearly over. Her only consolation was the knowledge she would see Rita the 17th of July.

It felt like time had sped up and before she knew it every second felt precious.

Bellatrix was feeling depressed, she tried to be present when she was with Rita in the lake or the garden but a sense of doom filled her gut. She knew it was irrational and that all she was doing was squandering her time but she couldn't help the overwhelming sense of anxiety and melancholy that began to consume her; especially with her departure so soon.

Rita noticed and did everything she could to combat the shadows looming over Bellatrix but it was futile. Bellatrix was just destined to be a pessimist, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, always wallowing in the good with the knowledge the bad lurks around the corner. It was hard for her to enjoy anything temporary.

*****

June 27th, 1965

Bellatrix didn't crack a smile as she was delivered back to her house. She said goodbye to Rita even before they left because she knew it was her only chance. She walked back into her house at noon as promised without looking back.

Her sisters asked her about what happened and she gave no details, instead she sank into an immobile, non-verbal state while staring out the bay window in the drawing room. Nothing roused her and she didn't move until dinner and avoided speaking as much as possible, even when asked questions. When she did speak it was monotone and devoid of life.

She seemed like a husk and just brushed it off as being tired.

She was tired, tired of everything and when she lay in her bed clutching the cold metal of her necklace tears flowed down her cheeks. Tears for herself, and her life, and the life she could have had. She cried now and cried hard, swearing it would be the only time and that she would soon leave these foolish notions behind.

****

June 30th, 1965

Adults seemed to like Bellatrix even more when she never spoke and hardly moved. She felt drained, she had no energy and Horrendum had been the one brushing her hair because Bellatrix just couldn't be bothered. The smallest tasks seemed to suck everything out of her. Narcissa was concerned and when she brought it up to Andromeda she was met with indifference.

"I don't see why you care," Andromeda spat, "If she's like this even better because she can't scold us."

"She does what's good for us!" Narcissa protested,

"Since when is cursing us 'good for us' Cissa," Andromeda said coldly, she left before Narcissa could respond.

With Bellatrix a shell of a person and Andromeda being bitter, Narcissa was left to her own defense. It was lonely and the house seemed colder and darker.

She imagined monsters hidden in corners waiting to pounce on herself since she was without her sisters protection.

Andromeda saw the monsters, and they weren't hiding in corners, they sat at the breakfast table in the morning and called her their daughter.

Bellatrix warred with her own mind and body, some fierce sense of self preservation was the only thing keeping her going. The only thing making her rise from bed each morning.

****RITA****

July 5th, 1965

Rita was so excited, the full moon was tonight and she could finally get rid of the stupid mandrake leaf that had caused her great inconvenience.

Once midnight struck she would spit the leaf into a vial, then add a strand of her hair, a silver teaspoon of dew that had not been touched by sunlight or human feet, and finally the chrysalis of a death's-head hawk moth.

All of her ingredients were laid out on her windowsill in full view of the moon's rays.

When midnight struck, and the full moon was over head she spit the leaf into the small bottle and then added her ingredients. She then put the vial in a small dark cabinet where it was not to be disturbed for seven days. Then she climbed into her bed with her alarm set for five minutes before sunrise.

***

She rose and waited until the sun began to peak out from the horizon.

She placed the tip of her wand over her heart and chanted, "Amato Animo Animato Animagus"

***BELLATRIX****

July 7th, 1965

*Dear Trixie,

I miss you a ton, and I can't wait to go to France with you all!
.....

Love, Rita*

Bellatrix didn't read past the first sentence, she threw the letter into the drawer with the rest of Rita's letters and laid back down in bed. She had been claiming illness for the past couple days, she would need to get better soon or her parents would get a healer and know she had never been ill.

****RITA****

July 10th, 1965

Bellatrix hadn't sent a response to her letter, she tried not to let it bother her. She was probably just busy.

****

July 12th, 1965

At sundown, for the last time in the week, Rita chanted the spell with the tip of her wand over her heart.

She felt giddy, so far she had succeeded, nothing was wrong. She was determined to do this and do it correctly. Now all she had to do was wait for a lightning storm.

****

July 14th, 1965

It was just her luck she didn't have to wait long. On the morning her family had planned to go to the beach for a weekend they had to cancel because a lightning storm was coming that afternoon.

Rita snuck out of her window and ran to the field by her house with the potion, the sky had darkened, it was starting.

She stood patiently, waiting for the first strike which would turn the liquid blood red.

The sky rumbled and light gathered in the clouds, the wind ripped at her clothes and filled her ears.

A bright flash illuminated the sky, it fell in the distance. Rita watched as the vial's contents turned red. She smiled and recited the chant for the last time, "Amato Animo Animato Animagus" then she poured the contents into her mouth and swallowed.

Fiery pain coursed through her body as if she was being struck with lightning. She screamed into her teeth trying not to resist the change. It felt like two hearts beat inside her chest, it was overwhelming and disorienting.

She closed her eyes and an image of a beetle took over her mind. She dropped to her knees, her eyes wouldn't open as she stared at the image her mind had conjured.

She did feel a slight sense of terror but it was overruled by the overwhelming all-consuming pride. She had done it, and she was succeeding. For the first time she understood one part of Bellatrix she had never got. Her thirst for power and control made sense now. Now Rita knew what it was like to yearn for more, to be more.

Her eyes shot open as the vision dissipated and she knew it had worked, all that was left was changing into her animagus. She took a breath and willed her wind back, she envisioned her heart giving the reins to the one that had begun to beat in her chest.

She felt her limbs tingle as they changed, and then the world seemed to get bigger and bigger until she was on the ground, as small and insignificant as a blade of grass. Even in her small form she knew it held immense power, she was practically invisible and she could fly.

She decided to fly home.

She got back safely and returned to her human form.

The rest of the night she practiced changing to and from her animagus form. She flew around her room and wedged in between spaces no human could fit through.

She debated writing Bellatrix a letter and telling her everything but then decided she would just show her when they saw each other.

She went to sleep unbelievably giddy, and she couldn't wait to share the news with Bellatrix.

****REGULUS******

Regulus was shut in his room staring out at the lightning storm. Sirius's screams rang out and while he knew Sirius deserved it, a part of him wondered how their mother could stand to stand there and curse him. How she could claim she loved them and then hurt them.

He thought of Bellatrix, she was always so strong, she hardly screamed when cursed and nothing seemed to affect her. At times it made her parents more angry, and if they wanted to hurt her, but on other occasions they seemed proud of her strength. It was confusing.

He wished Bellatrix were here, he would see her in three days, but still.

His parents had made the decision to stay with Sirius in London instead of going to France. They would send Regulus with his aunt and uncle. Sirius played it off, like the thought didn't terrify him but Regulus could hear his sobs through the walls after their mother had finished with his punishments. He could pretend he was unaffected all he liked, he brought it on himself and Regulus knew it was unfair to hate him, but he couldn't help it. It hurt for him just as much to have to listen to Sirius's cries and know what was happening and know he was powerless to stop it.

He hated Sirius for being so weak, he hated Sirius for acting out, and he hated Sirius for ruining every plan and his determination to ruin every good thing that ever came to him. Self-sabotage seemed to be his greatest strength, and Regulus was sick of it.

Chapter Text

July 15th, 1965

It really was incredible. She was no larger than a blade of grass, so small yet so free. Rita had snuck away the moment she could, she told her parents she was going for a walk, and she was, but little did they know she was walking through the grass as a beetle! It felt weird at first and had taken her a few times to really get the hang of all the new things she could do, but she adjusted quickly.

Ants were huge, and really scary. She had passed a few absolutely demolishing a grasshopper that still seemed to be alive. It was all fun and games until she died as a beetle and no one ever found her because some bird swooped in and caught her. She tried not to think about that, or the fact she went through so much trouble for her Animagus to be a beetle.

Whatever, there are worse things to be.

She wondered to herself what Bellatrix's Animagus would be, something powerful and smart probably. The fact that she was actively breaking the law by existing hadn't quite set in, still, if they didn't want people to become illegal Animagus's then the process should be harder.

She wondered what Bellatrix would say, what she was doing at this moment...

***BELLATRIX***

Bellatrix sat on her balcony, Narcissa sat beside her with a pencil and paper, she was sketching the landscape. Their parents had gone to some meeting or something and they were left alone, not that she was complaining.

Andromeda was off doing god knows what, Bellatrix would deal with it later, right now she was content to sit and read under the sun. A moment of peace.

She wondered to herself what Rita was doing... Her mind drifted from her book and towards her friend. Rita's smile flashed through her head, her hair, her eyes. Merlin, her eyes were pretty. She recalled the scent of citrus and if she closed her eyes she could almost imagine she was laying beside Rita, breathing in the scent of her pillowcase.

Her mind wandered unchecked, and who gave a shit. Heat raced through her, and it was pleasant. She felt tingly all over, like when limbs fell asleep. The sensation coursed through her and made her heart beat erratically and her body feel fluttery.

She pictured Rita walking out of the bathroom and asking Bellatrix to tie the back of her swimsuit. Her stomach churned. Bellatrix recalled the way her fingers brushed over Rita's soft skin and how at every contact Rita had shivered.

That had been the first time she had seen someone other than herself practically in underwear and it made her feel things.

"Are you alright?" Narcissa asked, breaking Bellatrix out of her daze.

"Yes," Bellatrix answered a little too quickly, Cissa raised her eyebrows, "Why?" Bellatrix asked,

"You look like you're in pain." Narcissa remarked, "You're all tense."

She motioned with her pencil to Bellatrix's clenched hands and legs. She hadn't even realized how much she had tensed up.

Bellatrix forced her limbs to relax,

"What were you thinking about?" Narcissa asked,

"No one." Bellatrix answered,

Narcissa snickered, "So someone then, because I asked what, not who."

Bellatrix cursed herself mentally and rolled her eyes faking nonchalance. "Whatever Ciss,"

Narcissa smirked, "Was it Rudolphus?" She teased,

"Why would you think that?" Bellatrix asked, genuinely surprised that was what Narcissa was thinking. Rudolphus was far from her mind even when he sat beside her, she had more important matters, like thinking about paint drying or anything else.

"I'm told that's what girls think about," Narcissa replied, "Plus, I've seen the two of you interact."

"My point precisely, you've seen us interact." Bellatrix huffed,

"Oh come off it," Narcissa smiled, "There has to be something. I mean, you're getting married eventually."

"I don't have to love, or even remotely care about him to marry him, and if that's what you expect in a marriage you'll be thoroughly disappointed. " Bellatrix said with finality.

Narcissa looked down, "So it was another boy?"

Bellatrix looked away. She had been thinking about Rita the way she assumed girls her age thought of boys. Sure she didn't feel anything towards men in general, she never had, but that was normal. She was normal.

"No," Bellatrix said softly, "Not a boy."

******

July 16th, 1965

Bellatrix was already packed for tomorrow. The plan was she would go with Druella to get Regulus from Walburga's since they were staying home with Sirius, and then to pick up Rita.

She was giddy with excitement and anticipation.

Rita had written her a couple more letters that she wasn't in the head space to read. Andromeda was more distant than ever, hardly ever talking, not even to her sisters who used to be her confidants. Narcissa was constantly on edge, Bellatrix couldn't help but see herself in her sister. Always looking over her shoulder, always waiting for the other shoe. Bellatrix recognized the habits all too well.

While there was a time she wanted to keep Cissa from that at all costs, now she felt a grim satisfaction in her sister's discomfort. She knew what it was like, what Bellatrix had dealt with trying to protect them all. Bellatrix had become colder, nothing scared her anymore. She saw her aunt when she looked in the mirror, she heard her father's voice when she spoke. Her mother's manners haunted her every move, and her Uncle's voice rang in her ears.

Do it

You're pathetic,

The words he hissed in her ears so many times before now echoed even in his absence.

Bellatrix ran her nail over the wood of the dining room table. It had grown much longer and she had filed it into a claw. It carved a line into the wood.

"Stop it." Her mother scolded,

Bellatrix looked up through her eyebrows, before slowly lifting her hand and placing it on her lap.

She had been testing a theory. She had stopped being punished for things her sisters did or when her parents were in a shit mood, and she wondered what else she could do without the fear of her mother's wand.

It was almost like she was one of them, an equal, a person. Maybe all those years of doing everything correctly were paying off, maybe more was coming, and if so she still had to remain perfect for a little longer, just until she could break free. Just until she was bigger.

Bellatrix sat comforting Narcissa. She was only 6, Bellatrix was 9. Their mother had punished Cissa with Crucio for the first time. Sobs racked the little girl's body and Bellatrix was powerless.

"One day we'll be bigger." Bellatrix promised,

It was defiant, it was true.

"Rudolphus is coming to dinner." Her mother announced, this snapped Bellatrix out of her little reminiscence.

"Alright," Bellatrix replied, this was also new. No more 'yes mother, yes father'

"We will have a discussion about your futures, it's more important than ever." Druella said,

Bellatrix wondered what she meant by that. She decided not to ask, all in good time.

*****

Rudolphus and his family arrived at 6, Druella, Andromeda, Cygnus, and Narcissa welcomed them in. Bellatrix had been instructed to sit in the drawing room and wait for Rudolphus.

Bellatrix played the dutiful daughter as always. Never a hair out of place, never a word outspoken. It was all a play, a game of chess and she would win.

Rudolphus entered the drawing room to retrieve Bellatrix so the two of them could return to the rest of the party. He waltzed in like some fucking prince and hardly said a word -as to be expected- before taking her gloved hand and leading them back to the living room when her family and his waited.

The two of them were the picture of grace. Perfectly aligned. Black on black, both living shadows that commanded respect and notoriety. Neither smiled, neither laughed, it was all seriousness between them. To anyone else the sight would've been terrifying, a match made in hell, but to the families it meant only prosperous times were near.

Bellatrix sat beside Rudolphus the whole hour before dinner, nothing other than pleasantries were exchanged, they mostly listened as their fathers spoke about important topics. The mood was serious and somber, Bellatrix found she detested it. Every bone in her body wanted to cause a stir, not because she disliked anything, but the words dragged on and she longed for action or a voice in the conversation.

As they all got up to move to the dining room Rudolphus leaned into Bellatrix,

"This is dreadfully dull," He whispered,

"I'm inclined to agree," Bellatrix returned,

Dinner started and wine flowed.

"So," Cygnus said, "Rudolphus you're entering your final year yes?"

"Yes sir," Rudolphus replied, Bellatrix rolled her eyes,

"And what do you plan to do after graduation?"

As if her father cared he continued to ask these questions, all of which Rudolphus answered flawlessly. Bellatrix stayed quiet.

After dinner the party returned to the drawing room. Druella and Rudolphus's mother spoke about whatever in one corner. Narcissa, Andromeda, and Rabastian sat by the window talking in hushed tones so as not to be disruptive. Cygnus and Rudolphus's father sat by the fire drinking scotch. This left Rudolphus and Bellatrix in their own spot with no one near enough to hear their conversation.

At least, no one would hear if there were a conversation. It was a comfortable silence for neither particularly were interested in talking or listening to the other so there was no reason to fill the silence.

Rudolphus had stopped seeing her as some sort of parasite that benefited from the relationship. He realized she brought more to the table, that it was mutually beneficial, but that ultimately she was the better of the two. His pride was still working overtime at the moment of the realization but it was too strong to deny and Bellatrix knew it as well. She had no doubt in her abilities.

Finally Rudolphus and his family left and Bellatrix went to her room.

She unpinned her hair that had been kept up for nearly five hours. It hadn't taken long to do but it hurt. Her hair was so thick and heavy that having it in anything other than down or braids would give her a headache. Still, she never wanted to cut it. The curls made it "Messy" as her mother would say. She often wished her hair was like Narcissa's. Soft with a gentle wave.

She pulled out the last pin and then the hair fork that was black onyx with diamonds adorning it to make it look like the stars. She rubbed her temples before unzipping her dress and slipping into her nightgown. She climbed into bed and turned off the lights with a flick of her wand.

"I love your hair." Rita said, she ran her fingers over Bellatrix's scalp and Bellatrix closed her eyes,

"I love you," Bellatrix replied, lost in the feeling of Rita's hands on her.

Rita pulled her hands away from Bellatrix's hair and grabbed her face.

"I love you too Trix." She said, and she leaned in.

Bellatrix shot up from her bed and ran to the bathroom.

She doubled over the toilet and threw up. Tears streamed down her face as she sobbed.

No, no she couldn't do this. She wasn't like this. She wouldn't betray her family.

She felt disgusted with herself. She shook herself, still crying she reached for her wand. She didn't need to remember this, and she couldn't have anyone else see it. Just because they hadn't looked through her memories in a while didn't mean she was safe. Occlumency was something she wasn't taught.

She raised her wand to her temple and envisioned the memory. It was bad, but in a moment it would be gone.

"Obliviate." She whispered.

*****

July 17th, 1965

Bellatrix woke up with a fog over her mind. She couldn't help but think there was something she was forgetting.

She brushed it off and got ready.

******

Bellatrix was forced into a ridiculous outfit. Her dress's collar was feathered and poked her everywhere. The gown fell to the floor and was encrusted with gems that scratched her when she let her arms rest by her side.

"It's the height of fashion in France." Her mother had said,

Bellatrix found it pretty, no doubt, but that didn't mean it wasn't uncomfortable.

Bellatrix went with her mother to collect Regulus.

They apparated outside her aunt's door and knocked. Walburga answered the door with Regulus by her side. He was dressed in a similar outfit, feathers seemed to be the style of the moment.

Walburga made small talk with them for a while and then they were off to Rita's with Regulus in tow.

The three of them apparated a few meters away from the Skeeter's gate and then walked in through the garden and to the door.

Bellatrix knocked and Rita's mom answered, she looked different. She stood there stone faced and serious, perfect. No wonder Bellatrix's parents found them acceptable when they acted like this in front of them.

Rita appeared around the corner with a trunk and a stony expression that matched her mother.

"We offer deepest gratitude to you and your family for inviting Rita." Elaine said dully.

"It's our pleasure. Bellatrix tells us you've raised a proper young lady and I must trust her counsel." Druella replied,

Elaine bowed her head and gave a polite smile. The small talk died at that and Rita took hold of Druella as the four of them apparated back to Bellatrix's house.

They arrived at the door and entered.

"Bellatrix," Druella said, "Do see Rita to your room, you should find another dress there for her. Horrendum shall aid her in getting ready. Don't dally. We leave in an hour."

"Of course." Bellatrix replied, her heart beat as fast as ever as she walked away.

Her mother didn't say a word about her lack of formalities or that she had forgone asking to be dismissed. Bellatrix let herself grin slightly as she walked upstairs with Rita.

This was it. She could feel it, after next year her hard work and obedience would be rewarded.

Bellatrix ushered Rita into her room and closed the door, then she pulled Rita into a long hug.

"I missed you," Bellatrix whispered, as if saying it any louder would trigger something, as if she wasn't already breaking a million rules every time Rita entered her thoughts.

Rita smiled into Bellatrix's neck. "I have something to show you."

"Can it wait until I get you dressed?" Bellatrix asked, she pulled out of the hug and turned around to grab the dress off the hangar. Rita didn't answer and when Bellatrix turned around she was gone.

"Rita?" She called, "Where did you go??" A beetle rose in the air coming eye to eye with her before landing on her collar.

After a second the beetle took flight again and then morphed into Rita.

"Holy..." Bellatrix trailed off. She was in awe. "Did you just...?"

Rita nodded, her grin spread from ear to ear.

"When? How? I mean... Holy shit Rita..." Bellatrix said, she was at a loss for words.

"I know!" Rita exclaimed, "And over the summer, I had the mandrake leaf in my cheek while we were at the lake."

"That's..." Bellatrix trailed off, "Do it again."

Rita smiled bigger and morphed into a beetle. Bellatrix outstretched her land and Rita landed on it. Bellatrix examined Rita's animagus form closer. She was a chrome green with stripes of pink and flecks of gold. Her wings were beautiful and iridescent guarded by her exoskeleton. She was beautiful and incredible.

"You're amazing..." Bellatrix whispered,

****

One hour later, Bellatrix, Rita, Regulus, Andromeda, Narcissa, Druella and Cygnus stood by the fireplace ready to leave for France. Bellatrix wanted to reach out and grab Rita's hand but resisted the urge and instead clenched her hand into a fist. Her nails bit into her palms and she couldn't decide whether it was to punish or restrain herself.

Druella went first, followed by Narcissa, Andromeda, Regulus and Rita.

This left Bellatrix standing before her father. It felt like looking into a mirror, the demeanor, the expression, all of it was identical. She knew it was improper, that she should mirror her mother, but she couldn't. The role set for women was not one she desired. To everyone, strength and fortitude of mind was distasteful in a woman; she was not to have her own opinions, her own ideas, all of that belonged to the men.

"You've grown much since last summer." Her father said,

Bellatrix didn't reply, unsure whether it was a compliment or a scolding.

When he didn't say anything more Bellatrix turned to the fireplace. In a furnace of green flames she was gone and stood in her mansion in France. She stepped out of the fireplace and went to stand between Rita and Narcissa.

A moment later her father appeared and they were all dismissed to their respective rooms until dinner.

Bellatrix showed Rita to her room (which was right beside Bellatrix's) and then excused herself to her bedroom.

*****

Bellatrix sat in her room staring at the wall she shared with Rita, as if that would make the wall break down on it's own.

Suddenly she heard a loud fluttering and looked over to her window to see a beetle thumping against the glass. Bellatrix smiled and opened the window to let Rita in. Rita landed and turned back into a human.

"This house is huge." Rita said,

Bellatrix smiled and rolled her eyes before plopping down onto her bed, Rita joined beside her.

"I flew around once and that nearly took me ten minutes!" Rita exclaimed,

"So coming to see me was an afterthought?" Bellatrix teased, Rita nudged her playfully and Bellatrix felt a current where they touched. She pulled away quickly, her heartbeat reset.

"Anyway!" Rita chirped, she scooted so she was laying behind Bellatrix's hair, "Maybe keep your window open." she ran her nails through Bellatrix's scalp. Bellatrix closed her eyes and untensed, melting into the mattress she hummed in agreement.

Rita smiled, she loved knowing how to calm Bellatrix down. How to help her after a nightmare, or when she's in a rage. How she would never hurt Rita, no matter what.

****

At dinner, Bellatrix sat at her father's left hand with Rita beside her. She hadn't had a chance to talk to Regulus or her sisters yet, in fact she didn't speak with any of them much anymore, she was always preoccupied at school and now at home her mother and father always had something for her to be a part of or go to. Their trust came at the price of her sisters'.

Bellatrix didn't understand why they had stopped telling her things. Sure, she punished them, but her parents had always made her before, so who cared if it was because Bellatrix knew that was what was right. She wasn't a monster, she just wanted the best for them, for all of them.

*****

July 18th, 1965

Bellatrix decided to take Rita, Regulus, and her sisters to the little bakery she went to a million times with her aunt. Her parents allowed it as they were meeting with someone important to think about important thoughts and talk important talk. The lack of details was unsurprising but it was what drew the line between Bellatrix and the adults, what told her and everyone that while she may be expected to be just as good as them, she wasn't equal to them.

She had to work harder, be better.

The bakery had checkered floors and cute little tables. Bellatrix ordered a pain-au-chocolate for herself and Rita. The rest of them ordered and they sat down outside to watch the people pass by in the beautiful French town.

"This is amazing." Rita said.

Bellatrix smiled, "I told you so,"

"Bella, c'est quand le quidditch coupe du monde?" Regulus asked,

"Je crois que c'est le 30." Bellatrix replied,

"I have no clue what you're saying but I love when you speak French." Rita said smiling, Bellatrix laughed,

****

That evening Bellatrix left her window open and Rita flew in. They layed in bed together, intertwined, sharing breaths, sharing bodies.

It wasn't wrong,

If it wasn't wrong why was it a secret?

If it wasn't wrong why did she want to kick herself?

It felt too good to be bad.

Nothing ever felt this good, but if her family was doing what was good, then it should feel bad. Good should feel bad. Suffering meant she was doing it correctly, it meant she was following the path intended.

*****

July 23rd, 1965

All the wizarding world was talking about the world cup, and with only a week left until the actual game all of France was buzzing with excitement. Even Bellatrix, who never particularly enjoyed watching quidditch couldn't help feeling excited.

They were meeting with the Rosiers for dinner tonight at some restaurant. Bellatrix and Rita were getting ready together in Bellatrix's room, she had sent Horrendum away, claiming they didn't need help when really Bellatrix just wanted to be alone with Rita, even if Horrendum wasn't really anyone, the presence disrupted the feeling.

"Hair up or down?" Rita asked, she held her hair up with one hand.

"Up," Bellatrix replied, she loved being able to see the earrings she gave Rita on display, even if no one else knew.

There was a knock at the door.

Bellatrix straightened and stood tensely,

"Bella," The person called,

Bellatrix relaxed. It wasn't one of her parents. She went to the door and opened it,

"What?" Bellatrix asked harshly, Regulus's face fell,

"Sorry," he murmured, his eyes cast downwards, Bellatrix immediately felt bad,

"No, It's okay." Bellatrix reassured, she moved to let Regulus walk into her room, "What's the matter?"

"I just wanted to see you," Regulus said,

"Oh," Bellatrix replied, she was a little stunned. For her, it was like no one else existed when Rita was there.

"Also, I wanted to know if we could go to the bakery tomorrow?" Regulus asked,

"Sure, I'm sure Cissa and Andy would like that," Bellatrix replied. She sat on the edge of her bed, Regulus stood in front of her.

"No, I mean just you and me." Regulus said, "Remember, you promised we could?"

Bellatrix paused for a moment, she had promised Regulus that, but at the same time she didn't want to leave Rita with her family, even if it was only for a little while.

"Go," Rita said, "I don't mind,"

Bellatrix looked back to Rita who was smiling,

"I'm sure the two of us can make that work." Bellatrix said to Regulus,

Regulus smiled and hugged her, "Can I stay in here with you?"

"Sure," Bellatrix said,

****

That evening, the seven of them joined the Rosiers for dinner.

The restaurant was candlelit and had a witch playing the piano and singing.

Bellatrix wore a black silk gown, part of her hair had been pulled back and was fastened with a pretty emerald clip.

At dinner, Evan tried talking with Regulus since they were the same age, but Regulus mostly just sat there unwavering. He no longer seemed shy, just uninterested. Pandora had a glazed over look about her, Bellatrix couldn't help but think she was just a strange child.

Mrs. Rosier spoke a little to Bellatrix about school and plans, but mostly the conversation was between the men. Bellatrix replied to everything they said in her head because it wouldn't be acceptable for her to state her opinions aloud.

Her father spoke about the minister of magic and Bellatrix internally interjected herself into the conversation. She followed it with vivacity, hanging onto their every word and learning.

"So how is Rudolphus these days?" Mrs. Rosier asked Druella,

"He's quite well," Druella replied, "He makes a fine match for Bellatrix."

"I have no doubt about it, good breeding and good education, not to mention the Lestrange fortune. There was no possible better option!" Mrs. Rosier exclaimed,

Bellatrix gritted her teeth, who gave a shit?! She was worth so much more than a marriage.

"And are there plans in place for Andromeda and Narcissa?" Mrs. Rosier inquired,

"Oh of course!" Her mother said, "Narcissa is to marry Lucius," Bellatrix raised her eyebrows, Lucius? Ugh, Cissa could do better. "and Andromeda shall make a fine match for Amycus Carrow."

Before Bellatrix could register it, Andromeda stood up abruptly, knocking over her chair in the process.

"Andromeda!" Their mother scolded. Bellatrix looked at Rita and then at Regulus and Narcissa. They had all frozen, waiting with bated breath.

"Sit down child." Cygnus hissed, Andromeda was fuming and color rose in her cheeks.

"You will not embarrass me!" Druella spat,

"You will not marry me off to anyone! Least of all Amycus Carrow!" Andromeda shouted. The restaurant had gone quiet, "I will marry whoever I want to! It's my decision!"

Cygnus stood up and in one swift motion grabbed hold of Andromeda before disaparating.

"Shit," Rita whispered,

Regulus and Narcissa looked to Bellatrix who's eyes tracked her mother's movements.

Druella was flushed and looked stunned, she looked around and saw everyone staring.

Inside her a war ragged, on the one hand, she wanted to leave, on the other, it might cause more of a stir if she did. The family's reputation depended on this, no matter what she did, there would be rumors. No matter what she did, Cygnus would be angry, and it would be Andromeda's fault.

Druella cleared her throat and continued eating as if nothing had happened. The Rosiers followed suit and within a few minutes the chatter started back up.

****CYGNUS****

"You know nothin girl," Cygnus hissed, his wand underneath Andromeda's chin. His daughter was shaking but she held a brave face; Defiant. "You will marry who I tell you to, whether it be a troll, Amycus, or even Sirius." He said pacing around her in a circle, like a predator with a cornered deer.

"You will be obedient." And with that, he flicked his wand and Andromeda felt a sharp pain race across her face. Andromeda still said nothing. Cygnus sneered, he was loosing control, Andromeda was going to be incorrigible if this went on. "Say it." He spat.

Andromeda didn't even make an inclination that she heard, Cygnus gritted his teeth and struck her across the face. Andromeda fell to her knees, a red welt was forming on her cheek. "Say it." Cygnus repeated.

Color rose in his face as she refused to respond. "SAY IT!" He boomed, his breaths came in ragged pants as his rage boiled over. "You insolent little-" he took a shaky breath. "Crucio,"

****

Cygnus sat at his desk sipping scotch. Andromeda had finally said it before losing consciousness, he had won. Horrendum had come and taken Andromeda to her room.

crack

"The master wished for me to alert him when Mrs. Black arrived sir." Horrendum said,

Cygnus put down his glass with a thump, "Tell Druella to put the children to sleep and then to come here." Cygnus ordered,

Horrendum bowed and started to turn when Cygnus hit her with a curse that sent her scurrying away. Cygnus laughed.

*****DRUELLA******

Druella's hands shook as she entered Cygnus's study.

There he sat, facing the fireplace.

"Cygnus?" She asked softly,

"Come here." He commanded, Druella went to him. "Do you know what makes a good wife Druella?" He asked, still staring at the roaring flames.

Druella knew what her daughters went through with him. She had always been harder on Bellatrix because it made her better, it made Cygnus like her more, it meant she was safer.

"Obidience." She said, she felt like a child being interrogated. She thought it would stop when she was married, that she would be an equal, but no. She never escaped the thumb of men.

"Obedience is important," Cygnus agreed, "But what's more is the ability to serve."

"Serve?" Druella questioned,

"Yes, Serve." Cygnus repeated, "To produce heirs, to rear them, to serve your husband as your god." He turned to face her now, "You've failed." He said, "You failed to produce an heir, now it goes to Sirius. You failed as a mother to control them and shape them to be the perfect wives. You see more in them but they will never be more, they have never been more. Not even Bellatrix."

Druella tried to hide any expression that might cross her face.

Cygnus rose from his chair and began to pace.

"You failed entirely with Andromeda. Narcissa will never amount to more than a pretty wife for Lucius to flaunt and use. The fire in Bellatrix must be quenched. She is good, but she is no son, if she were perhaps there would be more of a place for her in this world." Cygnus said, "I know what you did with Bellatrix. How you were hardest on her, in hopes I would spare her. And I did because it worked. She acts the way she should, she thinks the way she should. She will make a good wife as long as she can bite her pride."

Cygnus stopped pacing and faced Druella,

"Bellatrix will see you as a villain. She'll always hate you, she'll see herself as my creation." Cygnus said smugly,

"If she must hate me so be it." Druella said quietly, "I'll be her villain."

Cygnus sneered, "You're pathetic. You were good once, useful."

******

The daughter will sit with her father a laugh at their mother's failures, thinking they are so much better and smarter, but this does not spare the daughter from the mother's fate.

Chapter Text

July 23rd, 1965

Bellatrix had told Rita to stay in her room, even if she wished Rita could be with her, but it wasn't fair and Bellatrix didn't need Rita knowing more about her family than she already did. Bellatrix stared at her door, waiting for a knock.

A few minutes passed before Regulus and Narcissa showed up. Bellatrix ushered them in and turned off the lights.

"Did you see Andromeda?" Narcissa asked, she was crying, Regulus held it together, trying to be strong for them.

"No..." Bellatrix replied, "I'm sorry Cissa,"

She was sorry, but more than that she was angry at Andromeda. Bellatrix was finally getting freedom, and now her sister just goes and fucks it all up. If Andromeda had behaved like Bellatrix she would be gaining privileges as well.

Bellatrix was just glad no one but Andromeda was being punished for this. She was a little disappointed at not being called in to discipline Andromeda, it was her duty after all. Maybe her parents had decided she wasn't ready... Maybe everything she had worked for would be for nothing...

"You have to go." Bellatrix said, suddenly stern. This would get her in trouble, and Andromeda was causing enough of that for all of them.

Narcissa gave her a look of confusion, Bellatrix didn't know how she didn't understand.

The wind whistled outside, a chill ran through the room as if light and warmth were leaving. Narcissa's face, that was usually bright and cheery seemed devoid of color, it took away from her beauty. Darkness didn't suit her the way it complimented Bellatrix. Maybe she was born into the wrong place, or maybe she was just cursed because darkness would follow her forever, no matter what she did and it would always leach her beauty.

The shadows in Bellatrix's face seemed more pronounced, for the first time Narcissa thought she looked scarier than she did elegant. Like something was lurking beneath.

"Go," Bellatrix ordered,

"But-" Narcissa started,

"Now." Bellatrix said, she gave no reason though she had plenty, Narcissa should know and if she didn't she had better learn. Bellatrix was conditioned to look for trouble so she could avoid it. Maybe it was paranoia to some definition, always looking over her shoulder, waiting for something to drop, waiting for a fire to catch. Was it really crazy that she was so worried when worse things had happened before and would happen again.

Narcissa shrunk before her sister who had turned so cold in the blink of an eye. She turned and left with Regulus beside her. Narcissa was hurt and confused, it seemed like only yesterday her sister had been, well, her sister; now she was a step away from their parents.

If only Narcissa knew how much Bellatrix did, how much she hid. If only Narcissa understood Bellatrix had done her best to save them by damning herself.

If only Bellatrix knew there was no saving them, nothing she could do. If only Bellatrix understood she would've been better off selling her soul to the devil because no God was coming to save her.

****

July 24th, 1965, Sunday

Bellatrix sat with her family in the cathedral.

"In the name of the father, son, and holy spirit." The priest repeated.

Bellatrix made the sign of the cross and tried to pretend her shoes didn't hurt and her dress didn't itch, after all, this wasn't for her, it was for the lord and she was being selfish.

She could recite every prayer and song by heart. The rosary hung from her wrist, she clutched it like a lifeline.

When she was younger, she had been told to bow her head to pray, out of respect, but when no one else was around she would look up to the heavens and recite her prayers, as if it would make her God take more notice, make him listen, make him save her.

It had been a while since she prayed on her own...

3, 4 years?

No. Longer. 6 or 7.

She never went to the chapel at school, stopped wearing her rosary, stopped asking for God.

It wasn't because she quit believing. He was always watching, always listening. That's what everyone told her, and if he knew everything happening, and did nothing, then it was because it was right. She didn't need saving because there was nothing to be saved from. God is good, so this too must be.

Andromeda had been forced to come as well. Her mother held her under the imperius curse to ensure no further outbursts would occur.

Still, the enchantment didn't hide the emptiness in her eyes or the pain her posture betrayed.

Now in the cathedral, before the priests and servants of the lord, Narcissa felt nothing.

Since she was little she prayed. She prayed so hard and so long, begging God to save her, to save her sisters. She never got an answer still she always prayed, maybe if she just did a better job... She had an almost childish belief in some father figure. Now she felt nothing. The beautiful stain glass murals she had always admired as a child gave her no sense of glee, the depictions of Jesus on the cross evoked no emotions from her. If God was good and all powerful why did He allow all the evil in the world. If He was so great and loved them why did He let her sister be punished until she could no longer stand, why did He let Bellatrix turn into a shell, why did He allow their parents to be so cruel, why did He never answer when Narcissa begged for help, for it to stop, to be saved? Why did He never do anything?

*****

July 25th, 1965

"Bellatrix," Druella said,

The two of them sat in the drawing room, Bellatrix had been reading. She closed the book lightly and looked to her mother. Andromeda was locked in her room, Narcissa was elsewhere, Bellatrix hadn't spoken with her since she kicked her and Regulus out a couple nights ago. Rita was in the garden and Cygnus had taken Regulus into the city leaving Bellatrix with her mother.

"Yes?" Bellatrix replied

"Would you take Regulus to the little patisserie tomorrow? He's been asking for some time." Druella said,

Bellatrix paused, she had planned to but after Andromeda's outburst she figured it wasn't the best time.

"Of course," Bellatrix said finally,

"Good," Druella replied, "Cygnus has business so I'm sure the girls and I can find a suitable activity in your absence."

Bellatrix stiffened at the thought of Rita alone with her family, especially since Bellatrix was usually there to direct her, and there was no guarantee Narcissa would. Still, she held her tongue and the two sat in silence before it was acceptable for Bellatrix to leave.

****

July 26th, 1965

Bellatrix waited until noon to leave with Regulus for the cafe. She told her mother they were leaving and then they were out the door. Just like that...

The sun shone brightly on the cobblestone streets and reflected off the buildings.

It was a thirty minute walk since the manor was on the outskirts of the city.

They walked along the scene. Women in long dresses accompanied by men in suits walked through the lovely streets, all arm in arm. The city of love. A few tourists wandered about distinctive by their wide-eyed expressions and clothing. Bellatrix could also identify a few witches and wizards even though they fit in here better than most places since (unknown to most) Parisian fashion was based of witch and wizard fashion. All the great french designers were wizards or witches.

It was warm and the exertion of walking made Bellatrx hot in her heavy dress and thick hair. Her boots rubbed against her heels through her stockings and it felt as though her clothes were sealing themself onto her skin.

Regulus was equally uncomfortable in his coat and trousers.

Finally the two arrived at the cafe. The walls were old brick much like every building in Paris, a few french windows with shutters let light into the little place. Smoke pumped out of the chimney and metal chairs and tables dotted the outside under a stripped overhang for when it rained and people wished to dine outside. Bellatrix entered the cafe with Regulus in tow. The smell of fresh bread and pastries filled her nose. She remembered coming here with her aunt all the time when they all lived in France.

The charming place was run by an old witch with grey hair.

Bellatrix and Regulus greeted her before ordering a tea, hot chocolate, a pain-au-raisin for Regulus and a quiche for Bellatrix.

They sat outside. Under the cover of shade Bellatrix felt better. They sipped their drinks and ate slowly while taking in the surrounding people. Bellatrix's eyes landed on two young women sitting together on a bench laughing about something. One had short light brown hair curled in the current style; she wore a black fascinator with feathers adorning it. The other had darker longer hair. They sat close to each other and Bellatrix's mind wandered to Rita. What was she doing with her family now...

"What would you do about Sirius?" Regulus asked,

"What?" Bellatrix said, caught off guard at the question,

"If you were me," Regulus said, "What would you do?"

Bellatrix thought for a moment, she didn't know everything Sirius did but she had a pretty good idea.

"I'm not you," She replied after a long moment. "I'm not in that situation,"

"Isn't it like that with Andy?"

Bellatrix shook her head, "With Andy, I'm older for one, and no one relies on her. If she's a disgrace so be it, it won't be good, but it won't be the end of the world. She's just a girl. Sirius is heir, to have him fail..." She paused, many a time she imagined what it would be like if she could be heir. She was the oldest, the smartest, she did everything perfectly. "To have him fail would be more public."

Regulus looked down, "Doesn't he know he's making everything worse?"

Bellatrix never liked Sirius, from the second he was born everyone made it abundantly clear that Bellatrix no longer mattered, he was the heir, he was their perfect little child who would carry on the family. Her whole world changed, her aunt changed, her role changed, and she had to take care of the little beast as well. Even with all the problems he caused everyone was adamant about turning him into the perfect child.

"He doesn't care Reggie." Bellatrix replied, she tried to force sweetness into her voice. Honestly she wasn't sure if Sirius knew or not, but it was better for Regulus to believe he just couldn't give a shit. She took his hands and looked him in the eyes, "You can't do anything and it's not your responsibility to do so." That much she was sure of. It might be her responsibility to control Andromeda and Cissa, but it would never be Regulus's fault his brother was a failure.

"Will it get better?" Regulus asked, he sounded as though he was choking back tears.

"Maybe," Bellatrix said without conviction, "Best case scenario, you end up heir. However it would happen."

"But what if I don't want to be heir?" Regulus asked,

"Don't be ridiculous Reggie." Bellatrix replied, "I'd be heir in a second if I could."

"But you can't..." Regulus said softly,

"But I can't." Bellatrix repeated, "But you can."

Regulus looked at her. Pride shone in her eyes, something he rarely saw. Her words echoed in his head "But you can." "But you can." "But you can." "But you can."

Bellatrix wanted to be their heir, but while that wasn't an option, Regulus was the second best and he listened to her fairly well. And then it donned on her, if Regulus was heir, she could pull the strings behind him. An almost manic look flashed through her eyes, "Promise me." She said suddenly, taking Regulus's hand. "Promise me you'll become heir."

"Bella-"

"Please." She begged, she never begged.

"I'll try..." Regulus said, Bellatrix's nails dug into his arm.

"You will." She hissed,

"I will." Regulus repeated, and he did want to in that moment, to make Bellatrix happy, proud even.

She smiled and released his arm.

******

Bellatrix walked quickly with Regulus always a few steps behind as they hurried home. Bellatrix was eager to get back to Rita and she never liked leaving anyone with her parents for too long.

They arrived at the house and Horrendum let them in.

"The Mrs. and girls are having tea in the sun room." The elf said, bowing deeply,

"Thank you Horrendum," Bellatrix said, "Regulus, go to the drawing room."

Regulus nodded and they parted.

As Bellatrix drew nearer to where the elf had said the women were having tea, Rita's voice grew louder and while she couldn't make out exactly what was being said laughter from her mother often followed.

She walked faster and came to the open doors where Druella, Narcissa and Rita sat at a little table laden with tea, jams, and biscuits.

"Bellatrix! Come sit!" Her mother called, and it didn't sound much like an order anymore.

Bellatrix obliged.

"Rita has been telling us all about school. She even has a gossip paper!" Druella exclaimed,

"Well, it's really a news letter but when I can I like to add in little interesting bits." Rita said,

"She's a wonderful story teller I must say!" Druella said paying no attention to Rita's statement. "Oh you'll love having children! I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mother full of stories for your little boys! I always wished I could have a son of my own."

Bellatrix pretended the comment didn't hit a sore spot.

Narcissa stared down at her cup looking morose.

"Oh, I do hope you can give me grandsons Bellatrix." Druella followed,

"What?" She asked,

"Well, not now of course, but in a few years." Druella laughed and turned her attention back to Rita.

Bellatrix bit her tongue. She knew getting married wasn't a choice, but she didn't want kids and she knew Druella only cared for an heir, she'd be a horrible grandmother. Bellatrix would be a horrible mother, she didn't want kids ever.

"So Rita, have your parents arranged a marriage for you?" Druella asked, Rita stumbled and looked over to Bellatrix who was lost in her own thoughts.

"Uhm, no, they have no plans for my marriage." Rita replied,

"Oh how dreadful!" Druella exclaimed, "You'll be on your own in that regard then! Still I trust you'll have no issues finding a good husband and settling down for a home life."

Rita forced a laugh, Bellatrix had returned to paying attention. Rita didn't want that, she didn't need that. She was incredible, she'd become someone, someone big, someone worth while. She was made for more, they all were.

"You remind me of myself you know?" Druella said, "Vivacious, intelligent..." she listed off, "I myself was quite a writer."

"Really?" Rita asked,

"Oh yes. I even wanted to be an author for a little. Silly prospects of course, it's not a woman's place, but young dreams are just that." Druella laughed to herself and sipped her tea, "I was a good writer..." She said wistfully,

"Do you write still?" Rita asked,

"Oh no!" Druella smiled, "I haven't in years, not since..." She paused thinking back, "Not since I married."

Rita looked at Druella, and while Bellatrix was blinded by biases and her vision was clouded, Rita saw the sadness in her. Like the life had been drained, everything she ever enjoyed had been stomped down, all her hopes and dreams. Rita couldn't help but wonder if Bellatrix shared the same fate. Would Rita even recognize her in 7 years... Would Bellatrix recognize herself?

******

July 30th, 1965

Bellatrix stared at her reflection in the mirror.

Her black curls were half pinned up while the rest fell delicately over her shoulders. She wore a black off-the-shoulder velvet dress, it was already making her hot. She still wore her raven-skull necklace that looked quite pretty on her pale skin. Light makeup had been applied, her lashes were more defined and her lips and cheeks were painted a dark shade of red.

She looked beautiful, she felt like a liar.

****

Rita wore a green flowy dress and a set of pearls. She smiled at Bellatrix,

"You look good," She whispered, her lips grazed Bellatrix's ear and she shivered,

"Thank you," Bellatrix replied quietly, her heart fluttered and her stomach jumped.

The two of them walked a few steps behind Bellatrix's parents. Narcissa, Andromeda, and Regulus were at the very back. The morning had been rather tense with everyone getting ready for the cup. Now the seven of them walked into the stadium to find their box. Horrendum accompanied them of course.

"Ah Cygnus! Druella!" Bellatrix looked up to see Abraxas Malfoy with his wife and Lucius advancing.

"Abraxas!" Cygnus greeted, "How are you?"

"Well, and you?" Abraxas replied,

"Just as." Cygnus smiled, "Our boxes are side by side?"

"Appears so!" Abraxas said, "Quite the coincidence."

"Quite fortunate really," Cygnus said, lowering his voice, "There seem to be all sorts up here now."

Abraxas nodded solemnly, "I'd rather not be reminded of that,"

"Yes, yes." Cygnus replied, "Well, if it fancies you all our box has quite enough room for an old friend."

Abraxas smiled and eagerly agreed, no matter who you were, an invitation from a Black was nothing to be ignored.

The men talked loudly while the women chatted about things in inaudible tones. Regulus sat quietly next Bellatrix who spoke softly with Rita. Andromeda sat by herself seemingly staring off into space. Lucius had an air of boredom as most boys their age did and Narcissa sat properly beside him making polite conversation.

Bellatrix was certain she'd be arranged to marry him sooner or later. He was the best fit after all.

The game started and Bellatrix had no real interest in it. She didn't care to watch quidditch but Rita liked it so she tried not to talk over it for her sake. It was France vs England and in the first ten minutes France was up by 30.

Both teams had great defense and Bellatrix found herself looking at the game in a strategic way, looking for the teams' weaknesses and strengths and how she would exploit them in a game. The mental exercise occupied her mind for the first 20 minutes until England called a time out.

France was winning so far, 130 to 80.

"They look so cool flying around like that." Rita said wistfully,

"They really do," Regulus said,

Bellatrix looked between them but she didn't understand the appeal. For a few minutes she tried using the binoculars to see the players better but it was distasteful, they looked quite unfortunate and she found no real appeal in watching the players flying around.

The game started up again and they were off.

*****

Bellatrix spaced out for most of the actual game and when it was over she was eager to get home.

Getting home took longer than Bellatrix had the patience for. Somehow every time Bellatrix was about to scream or say something flippant Rita would put a hand on her arm to steady her and Bellatrix held her tongue.

It was a rare talent to be able to predict Bellatrix and yet an even rarer one to be able to contain her.

******

August 15th, 1965

The rest of their time in France passed in a blur and before Bellatrix knew it they were taking Rita home with a promise of meeting up at diagon alley when they went shopping for school.

When they had parted Bellatrix couldn't bring herself to care for anything else.

She felt exhausted beyond all measures and even fell ill.

For the next two weeks Bellatrix was practically bedridden. She was nauseous and often threw up any food given to her. A doctor came by and concluded she had just caught some bug and should be better soon but that beyond rudimentary potions there was nothing to be done.

Still it did nothing for her.

*****

August 20th, 1965

Bellatrix grew worse every day. She was losing weight because she couldn't keep anything down and no potions helped. Narcissa and Andromeda weren't allowed to see her because they might catch something.

Bellatrix herself felt miserable. She was so tired but could never sleep so she was irritated all the time but too sick to even act on it which made her more upset. She felt restless and was never comfortable, partly because of her racing heart and partly because she
physically felt achy.

She ran a fever and was always too cold or hot.

When she continued to get worse another doctor was called in.

He examined her and determined that she had caught a virus, most likely a flu of some sort and needed rest and quiet.

Bellatrix was deathly pale as she forced herself to write Rita a letter explaining her condition and that she couldn't meet her in diagon alley in a few days but that she hoped by school she would be recovered.

******

August 22nd, 1965

Bellatrix's sisters and mother went to diagon alley without her to get their school supplies and her's. Rita wrote back sending her best wishes.

*****

August 25th, 1965

It seemed the potions were working and Bellatrix's condition steadily improved. She was eating more though the sickness had done it's damage and Bellatrix looked frail with the hollows in her cheeks and shadows beneath her pronounced collar bones.

Narcissa visited her now and sat beside her bed usually drawing or reading. Bellatrix wasn't really in a mood to talk but the company of someone other than her mother was welcome.

******

August 30th, 1965

By the night before school Bellatrix was mostly recovered and she did well to hide any symptoms so there was no reason to keep her at home. She still looked sickly but was truly feeling much better and saw no reason to continue staying at home.

******

September 1st, 1965

Bellatrix readied herself to depart for the train station and was ready to see Rita again and get away from the dark corridors of the manor.

She missed school more than anyone could imagine. She missed Rita more than anyone could imagine.

Chapter Text

September 1st, 1989
Dear diary
I believe I'm a good person
You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—
Here we are, first day of senior year!
And, uh, I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself — what happened?

Sorry I had too. Anyway on to the fic.

September 1st, 1965

Bellatrix and her sisters arrived at the train station for another year of school. They parted from their parents, boarded the train, and immediately went to their respective spots. Bellatrix found Rita and Alecto in their usual carriage with Lucius and Amycus.

"Where's Eliza?" Bellatrix asked as she put her trunk under the seat.

"Probably in another carriage snogging some fifth year." Lucius remarked,

"We don't need it from you Malfoy," Rita shot back, "She can do as she pleases."

"Sure," Lucius responded with a smirk, "Doesn't make her any less of a slag though."

Amycus snorted and Rita grew red.

"Leave it Rita." Bellatrix said, "They're idiots anyway." She sat down beside her friend, glad to finally have her back.

*****

At the feast Narcissa came over to Bella and her friends.

"Black, you're sister." Rabastian said, cutting Bellatrix off from talking and drawing her attention to Narcissa who had been standing awkwardly for a few moments without notice from Bellatrix and not wanting to interrupt.

Bellatrix glared at him but turned to Cissa.

"What?" She asked, the tone colder than she was aiming for.

"When are quidditch tryouts?" Narcissa asked,

"Oh right, you can do that this year..." Bellatrix said, to be honest she had no clue when tryouts were and didn't really care.

"Friday." Alecto said, not looking up from her meal,

"Yea that." Bellatrix said,

"Thank you," Narcissa said turning to leave,

"Welcome," Alecto called,

Narcissa spun back around "Sorry, this friday or next?"

"Next," Alecto replied,

"Ok, got it." She said before walking away and joining her friends.

"What was I saying?" Bellatrix asked, completely thrown off track,

"No clue," Lucius said,

Bellatrix sneered.

********

September 2nd, 1965

Before their first day, schedules were handed out.

Bellatrix was in all advanced classes, Rita was in advanced History of magic, Alecto advanced DADA, and Eliza was in advanced Potions.

"We only are going to have two classes together!?" Rita exclaimed looking over their schedules.

"We live together, I think it will be fine." Bellatrix said, though she really was upset at the realization. She would need to sit next to new people for a number of classes and she really didn't want to.

"Merlin Bella," Alecto said looking over her shoulder, "You're in all advanced?"

"She should've been in ravenclaw." Lucius called,

"Don't be stupid Malfoy," Rita snapped.

"He can't help it it's habit by now," Bellatrix said nonchalantly.

*****

Bellatrix walked into her first class for the day, Ancient ruins.

She looked around, it was an elective so most of the people were the same as last year.

She was one of the last to arrive because she walked Rita to her class because Rita had a story to tell about when she went to diagon alley that just couldn't be put off. There was only one seat available next to a short Slytherin with mousey hair and a fat nose. They must have been in the same year but Bellatrix didn't know her.

As she put her bag down by the seat the girl introduced herself.

"Hi," She said, her voice was over-sweet, "I'm Dolores," She stuck out her hand. Bellatrix looked down at her hand in scrutiny before tearing her eyes back to the girl's squashed face. When it was apparent Bellatrix had no intention of shaking her hand she cleared her throat and lowered it. Bellatrix looked at the girl queerly without saying a word before opening her book and waiting for the professor.

The lesson was quite dull, just a recap of last year's materials and what the course would cover this year. Bellatrix spaced out and began carving little symbols into the desk with her nail.

"You can't do that," Dolores whispered, Bellatrix raised her head to meet the other girl's gaze. Her brows were knit and color rose in her face, her pursed lips made her face look even flatter, as if someone had smacked her with a board. Bellatrix wouldn't be surprised if that was what had happened considering she was already getting the urge.

"What?" Bellatrix asked incredulously, surprised at anyone telling her what to do.

"Carve into the desk, it's against the rules." Dolores said with an heir of superiority. Bellatrix was fuming but she just smiled and dug her nails deeper into the old wood. Dolores huffed and raised her hand. Bellatrix rolled her eyes, now she understood why this seat was the only one available.

"Yes, miss Umbridge?" The professor asked,

She cleared her throat, "Is it not against the rules to vandalize school property?"

Bellatrix fought the urge to snicker and just smirked.

"Yes, it is." The professor said,

"And would carving into a desk count as vandalism?"

Bellatrix still had her nails in the desk and continued her ministrations.

"Yes, it would." The professor said,

"And doesn't the rule book say that vandalization of school property would result in two detentions and considering the scale, suspension?"

"What is this about Miss Umbridge?" The professor asked, crossing her arms

"Well, some students," She indicated to Bellatrix, "Think carving into a desk is acceptable."

The professor sighed and turned to Bellatrix who looked at her smugly knowing she was practically untouchable with the amount of money her family donated.

"Miss Black, please stop carving into the desk." The professor said wearily,

Bellatrix smiled and sat up straighter. "Of course Professor. I was only carving out the ruins you were talking about."

"Yes, well leave it for paper." She said, then she started to continue her lesson when Dolores interrupted,

"You mean she won't have a detention?!" She shrieked,

"Calm down Miss Umbridge." The professor said, "There is no need to give out any detentions for this."

"I wasn't aware..." She sucked in a breath, "That vandalism and destruction of property were encouraged."

"It's an old desk Miss Umbridge," The professor said, "Bellatrix is not the first to carve into it and I doubt she will be the last."

"Yes," Bellatrix said, mocking Dolores's high-pitched voice, "No need to get your knickers in a twist Dolores."

Dolores opened her mouth to say something back but the professor cut her off. "Enough, enough. Please I'd like to return to the lessor before both of you loose your house points in the first thirty minutes of the school year though I'm sure it would be some sort of record."

Dolores was red in the face as Bellatrix sat smugly knowing she had gotten the last word.

****

Class ended and Dolores approached Bellatrix when they were in the hall. She opened her fat mouth to say something but Bellatrix hexed her with a non verbal tongue-swelling jinx. Dolores immediately began making unpleasant noises over her overly large tongue and waving her hands frantically.

"What's the matter?" Bellatrix asked with mock concern, "Cat got your tongue?" She laughed while Dolores grew more upset and before she walked away Bellatrix grabbed her arm and leaned in. "Look," She whispered harshly "I don't know who you think you are, but stay out of my way because I'll win and it will cost me three minutes of my life I'll never get back, you however will face it for the rest of school." Bellatrix pulled back to look Dolores in the eyes, "Got it?" She asked, her voice sickly-sweet as her nails dug into the girl's arm.

Dolores nodded, Bellatrix smiled and let go of her arm. She brushed past her, hitting her shoulder and whispering "Umbitch" Under her breath as she walked away and silently cast the counter jinx for her tongue.

*******

"She actually said that?" Rita asked through a fit of laughter as Bellatrix recounted the story for all of them at dinner.

"She did." Bellatrix said smiling,

"Her?" Lucius asked, pointing a few seats down to Dolores who was sitting quietly. Bellatrix nodded, "Yikes," he exclaimed, "Looking at her makes me lose my appetite.

"Stop that's mean!" Eliza said though she was suppressing a laugh.

"It's true!" Lucius replied, and there was nothing in his voice other than honesty making everyone laugh harder.

"You should see her mad." Bellatrix snickered, "Her toad-face gets all purple and I swear I saw a vein."

"I should get Eliza to draw a caricature of her for the paper." Rita said,

"I don't think I could exaggerate it much." Eliza replied smirking,

Bellatrix smiled as her friends discussed Dolores and her less than average looks. It was exceedingly entertaining to listen to comparisons and jokes at her expense. Malfoy, whose comments were usually unwelcome, were quite appreciated when directed to another party.

******

That night Bellatrix went to sleep happy. For once she felt like she was appreciated by people, like the world would stop if she left, or like someone would care for more than a minute.

*****

September 5th, 1965

Saturday morning brought a cold front to Hogwarts. The air had a noticeable chill and Rita hardly wanted to emerge from her blankets. Bellatrix coaxed her out with promises of going down to the great hall and getting a hot cocoa.

"I really missed school," Rita said as the two of them sat back in the common room by the window. Bellatrix turned to look at her. She was wearing Bellatrix's quidditch sweater and warm socks. Her hair was tucked behind her ears as she held the mug of cocoa with both hands.

Rita met her gaze, "Didn't you?" She asked,

"I did." Bellatrix replied. She missed it more than words could describe. It felt sacrilege to say it, like she was betraying her family because she knew the reason she missed being at school. She missed the freedom, the light, the love, Rita. She thought seeing Rita over the summer would make it better, and it did, but then she just missed her more.

Bellatrix was content to stay in that moment with Rita forever. She seems to say this a lot, but it was always true, she was always wishing she could freeze time or just elongate the minutes with Rita. In these moments, she feared nothing safe for interruption and that came all too soon.

"Hey, Rita right?" Bellatrix and Rita's attention shifted to the voice. A boy stood before them. He was tall, brunette, green eyes, fairly attractive conventionally.

"Yes," Rita said, "And you are?"

"Oh sorry," He fumbled, "I'm Landon."

Rita smiled but Bellatrix could tell she wasn't really in the mood to talk to him.

"Would you want to go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow? It's the first trip and I know it's kind of short notice but I'd love to go with you." Landon said

"Sure," Rita said quickly, obviously just trying to get him to go away so she could continue her conversation with Bellatrix.

"Awesome. I'll meet you tomorrow here." He said before walking off with a dumb smile on his face.

When he was out of earshot Rita turned back to Bellatrix.

"Did you just agree to go on a date?" Bellatrix asked bewildered,

"I think I did..." Rita said, "I was just trying to get him to go away."

"I think a 'no' would've done the same." Bellatrix said, she was more confused at the turn of events than anything.

"I didn't want to hurt his feelings." Rita replied,

"Well, now you're going to have to spend the day with him tomorrow and then tell him no." Bellatrix pointed out.

Rita groaned, and dropped her head into her hands. Bellatrix laughed,

******

September 6th, 1965

"Will you come please?" Rita asked, she was spraying on a thin layer of hair potion and putting on her green dress with the bow at the back.

"No way." Bellatrix replied, she looked back at her Potions books.

Rita walked over to her bed and sat at the foot of it. "Please Trix I really want you there." Bellatrix closed her book and looked up. Rejection was on the tip of her tongue but Rita interrupted, "If you think it would be awkward I'm sure he has a friend or somethin."

Bellatrix snorted, "Yea and get stoned by my family for it? No thanks."

"Then go with Rudolphus." Rita said, she was grasping at straws at this point.

"You really want me to go don't you?" Bellatrix said,

"Yes, desperately." Rita said, Bellatrix bit the inside of her cheek.

"Fine..." Bellatrix got up from the bed, "I'll go bother Rudolphus."

"Thank You!!" Rita exclaimed as Bellatrix rolled her eyes and exited the room.

Rudolphus was in his dorm studying for his NEWTs. Bellatrix knocked and when there was no reply she just banged on the door.

"MERLIN WHAT?!" Rudolphus snapped flinging open the door to find a stone-faced Bellatrix who was not happy at being yelled at. Still, he wasn't scared of her.

"Rudolphus," Bellatrix said,

"What do you want Black?" Rudolphus asked, leaning casually on the door frame.

"I need you to come to Hogsmeade with me today." Bellatrix said

"No," Rudolphus deadpanned. "Nice chat," He started to close the door but Bellatrix stuck her hand out and stopped it.

"I'm serious." Bellatrix replied,

"Why?" Rudolphus asked,

"Because, Rita wants me to go with her and this guy." Bellatrix replied, Rudolphus let out a low laugh,

"Enticing." He said sarcastically,

"I'll owe you." Bellatrix said, this peaked his attention,

"Like what?" Rudolphus asked,

"I don't know, you figure it out. Just come on, plus I'm sure our parents would be pleased." Bellatrix said, Rudolphus considered for a moment but in the end agreed to meet her in the common room in a half an hour.

Bellatrix returned to her dorm to tell Rita.

"Thank you!" Rita exclaimed,

"You owe me," Bellatrix muttered, but really she was glad to come for Rita. After thinking about it more she hated the idea of Rita going to Hogsmeade with this kid and fire burned in her veins at the thought.

******

The minutes later, Rita left to meet Landon.

Twenty minutes later, Bellatrix met Rudolphus in the common room.

"Where's your friend?" He asked, not making eye-contact.

"Rita left with the guy already." Bellatrix responded, "Let's just get this over with." Rudolphus rolled his eyes and mockingly waved his arm in an 'after you' gesture.

The air was crisp and the wind stung Bellatrix's nose when she inhaled. She wore a long-sleeve black velvet dress with silver buttons down her back. Rudolphus wore an oversized black leather jacket.

Bellatrix looked Rudolphus up and down. "You look like a muggle." She sneered,

"And you look like you work in a convent." Rudolphus returned. Bellatrix chuckled to herself and Rudolphus smirked, neither spoke the rest of the walk.

As per Rita and Bella's agreement, she walked into the three broomsticks and sat down a few tables from Rita with Rudolphus who looked bored out of his mind. Rita noticed Bellatrix out of the corner of her eye but continued her conversation with Landon.

"What can I get you two?" Madame Rosmereta asked. Bellatrix ordered a butter-beer and Rudolphus ordered a fire-whiskey since he had turned 17 over the summer.

The drinks were brought, and Rudolphus sat back in his chair sipping his drink. Bellatrix looked him up and down.

"I can feel you lurking." Rudolphus said,

"Maybe I wouldn't if you didn't dress like a bloody muggle. I mean what would your father say." Bellatrix snapped, how was this supposed to be the man she is under for the rest of her damn life.

"Does it really bother you that much?" Rudolphus asked,

"Doesn't it bother you?" Bellatrix hissed, "Aren't you embarrassed?"

Rudolphus scoffed, "Merlin, it's just a bloody jacket." He shook his head, Bellatrix grit her teeth but didn't press the issue.

After an hour Rita and Landon got up and after they left Bellatrix and Rudolphus followed a safe distance behind as they walked back to Hogwarts.

"This was what was so important that you now owe me something?" Rudolphus asked coyly,

"It was important to her so it's important to me." Bellatrix said,

"Girls are weird." Rudolphus remarked,

"Suck it." Bellatrix hissed.

*******

Bellatrix and Rita met back in their dorm to talk.

"How was it?" Bellatrix asked,

"You couldn't hear?" Rita asked,

"Not over every other noise." Bellatrix said, "Now tell me what happened."

"Well, he's super sweet..." Rita began explaining the details of her little date while Bellatrix tried not to gag. She already hated him.

******

September 8th, 1965

"Wanna meet up during our free period?" Bellatrix asked as she and Rita walked from breakfast to their first class. Their free period was right after.

"I'm meeting up with Landon actually but I'll see you at lunch!" Rita said,

"Oh," Bellatrix replied, "Ok,"

Bellatrix and Rita parted for their respective classes and Bellatrix couldn't concentrate during Potions because she was just so pissed off Rita was ditching her for this guy.

****

During her free, Bellatrix sat in the library with Alecto while Eliza was off doing who knows what. Rita on the other hand, was in the Slytherin common room with Landon

"What do you like doing?" He asked,

"I write a lot," Rita replied,

"Oh, yea you do the paper."

Rita nodded. "What do you like doing?"

"I play quidditch,"

"What position?" Rita asked,

"Seeker," He replied, "I'm trying out this year for the Slytherin team."

"Really?" Rita said, there was no chance he was making it, especially not over Bellatrix and with Rudolphus as captain. Rita still wasn't sure what their relationship was, they seemed to hate each other but acted like they were courting half the time.

Rita didn't really look at Landon much, it's not like she was enthralled by him but he seemed to really like her.

They talked about small things and when it was time to go to her next class Rita liked him enough to agree to hang out tomorrow. Still, she felt a touch of guilt for picking him over Trix, she brushed it off. It's not like they were dating or something, it's not like there was a commitment.

The rest of the day, when Rita saw Bellatrix she seemed colder and Rita knew she was mad but that it was over nothing consequential.

******
September 9nd, 1965

"Where were you?" Bellatrix asked when Rita entered their dorm,

"I told you I was going to see Landon," Rita replied,

"You said see " Bellatrix emphasized, "You were gone for an hour." She had been waiting for Rita in their dorm just wanting to be with her for a moment because they never had classed together and lunch was short and there was homework to be done and a million other things that separated them.

"I meant hang out," Rita said, "Besides, you were with Alecto." Rita had seen them together more and it wasn't the easiest. They had more in common, especially in regards to their families and their behaviors, both were competitive and argumentative.

"We were waiting for you to join," Bellatrix said,

"Whatever," Rita replied, she was not in the mood to fight, and besides she didn't want to fight with Bellatrix. Bellatrix was always in the mood to fight, even if she did want it to be with Rita.

******

September 11th, 1965

Tryouts were coming up soon and Narcissa had convinced Bellatrix to practice with her after school, naturally Alecto and Amycus joined. Bellatrix would've said no if it weren't for the face Rita was spending most of her time with Landon. It really pissed Bellatrix off.

Bellatrix floated lazily on her broom watching Narcissa fly around with the quaffle while Amycus and Alecto hit bludgers at her. Bellatrix redirected them with her wand if they got too close for comfort.

She did fairly well and at a certain point Amycus played keeper, Alecto hit beaters, and Bellatrix played on Cissa's team.

Everyone had a lot of fun but Bellatrix's mind seemed to be on Rita even more than usual. It was strange to miss someone you saw everyday.

******

September 12th, 1965

Quidditch tryouts were at the end of the day and Bellatrix spent most of her day waiting for them.

At lunch Rita sat down with them,

"Are you coming to watch tryouts after school?" Bellatrix asked,

"Mhm," Rita replied smiling, "I wouldn't miss it, plus your sister's trying out right?"

"Yea," Bellatrix replied, "Cissa,"

"Maybe I'll tryout then," Lucius smirked,

"First of all, ew." Rita said, "Second of all, she's a second year Malfoy."

"And my sister," Bellatrix added,

"Well, maybe she hasn't been told but my parents already told me we were arranged to marry each other, so she's mine." Lucius said, "Frankly I was worried it would be you or Andromeda."

"She's not yours " Rita said, "That's insanely sexist, women don't belong to men." The table went quiet as everyone stared at her, "What?" She asked noticing her friend's confused expression.

Rabastian cleared his throat, "So, the pureblood laws... Have you heard of them?"

Rita stared at him with a confused expression,

"They aren't technically laws, but most of the old families abide by them." Bellatrix said, "They practically have a bunch of rules about who can do what. They are super old, like 1200s old and there is a huge passage about women and their roles."

"You're kidding," Rita deadpanned,

"She's not, her family made her memorize most of it." Alecto chimed in,

"I'll show you the book later." Bellatrix said dismissively, wanting to move on from the topic. Rita looked at her queerly as Bellatrix continued to chew. "What?" Bellatrix asked, swallowing the bite.

"You all are so weird." Rita said, setting her fork down with a thud. "You tell me there is some bullshit code to control women your family made you MEMORIZE and then just brush it off." She shook her head,

"Can we just drop it for now? I just want to eat my lunch without having a conversation about whatever this is." Bellatrix snapped, she had been in a bad mood recently with the smallest things setting her off.

"What do you mean Whatever this is ?" Rita asked, "Feminism, basic human rights, equality?" Lucius and Rabastian looked at her like she had lost her mind which only added fuel to the fire. "You're unbelievable, this is unbelievable." Rita scoffed.

Bellatrix clenched her teeth biting back a million remarks about Rita ditching them all for the whole week just to talk with Landon.

"Drop it Skeeter." Bellatrix said in a low voice,

"You sound like your mother," Rita hissed,

Bellatrix whipped her head to Rita. "Fuck you." She spat, she turned on the bench and got up before storming out.

Rita sighed and laid her head in her hands. The table was silent, and to Rita it felt like the whole room was silent. Alecto sat across the table wide-eyed before slowly getting up and following after Bellatrix. Rita watched, knowing that used to be her job and felt even more angry, irrationally so. She had no right to be jealous, especially not after what she just said.

Eliza's eyebrows were practically in her hairline as she stared uncomfortably down at her plate, even Lucius didn't have a remark. Rita groaned and dragged her hands off her face.

"Little harsh..." Eliza said,

"I know!" Rita snapped, she took a deep breath, "Believe me, I know." She whispered.

******

Bellatrix was fuming as she walked onto the quidditch pitch for tryouts, she had snapped at Narcissa before they walked out of the locker room. Her knuckles were white around the broom as she took to the air. Rudolphus was talking about the procedures for tryouts and what they would be doing. Bellatrix was staring daggers into Landon who hovered a few people away from her. She turned to the stands and spotted Rita, she blew out a breath and shook it off.

Tryouts started and Bellatrix went. The snitch was released before the teams took off for a scrimmage. Bellatrix watched the little ball zip around, Landon was playing the seeker for the other side. "Good luck," He said with a smile,

"You'll need it." Bellatrix said cooly right as the whistle blew and the players took off.

Bellatrix tried not to have her eyes wander to Landon or Rita too much. It was genuinely hard.

Rita sat in the stands watching them both. She kept finding her gaze locked onto Bellatrix who flew around so gracefully, her hands delicate on the handle of the wood, her hair flowing behind her, eyes squinted and face twisted in concentration. She looked like a hawk stalking prey as she flew. Rita tore her eyes away and watched Landon who wasn't nearly as excited, but that was who she was supposed to watch.

The scrimidge lasted thirty minutes before Bellatrix caught the snitch, of course. She stayed on as seeker while Rudolphus switched out the rest of the players.

After about four thirty minute-ish games Rudolphus flew up to Bella whose face was red.

"Need a break?" He asked,

"No," Bellatrix snapped, "I'm fine."

"Get some water." He ordered, "Take one off, you know you have the spot anyway."

Bellatrix wanted to argue. Flying was blowing off some steam and giving her something else to concentrate on other than the fact Rita was here for Landon, to watch Landon, to admire Landon. Fuck Landon.

Instead, she nodded and flew off to grab a sip of water. Alecto was still playing beater.

*****

At the end of tryouts the sun had started to go down. They were all tired and sweaty, and ready to go back to their dorms. Bellatrix just wanted to fly around some more.

Rudolphus stood in front of them all telling them when and where the team would be posted.

Finally, they were dismissed and Bellatrix saw Landon meet up with Rita at the other side of the pitch. She was out-of-breath but fire burned inside her. She took to the air again and flew laps.

*****

Everyone had left, Bellatrix wasn't even sure what time it was, and she just kept flying around the pitch. The night air was cold and bit at her cheeks and stung her nose. Tears streamed because of the wind and Bellatrix just pushed the broom faster. The adrenaline was like a drug running through her veins.

*****

September 13th, 1965

Bellatrix had snuck into the dorm around three am and was now waking up a mere 5 hours later. Her hair was windswept and tangled.

Bellatrix sat on the floor of the bathroom trying to de-tangle her hair with a lot of potion and a brush. She had gotten most of the front after soaking her head in water but she couldn't get through the back and her arms were getting tired. "UGH!" She slammed the brush down on the tile.

A moment later the door cracked open and Rita came in. Without a word, she sat down behind Bellatrix, picked up the brush and started softly running it through Bellatrix's hair until it passed through without a hitch. She handed the brush back to Bellatrix, their fingers brushed on the exchange and a tingling sensation went up her arm.

"thank you," Bellatrix said quietly, Rita nodded and smiled before leaving.

Chapter Text

September 17th, 1965

Bellatrix wasn't planning to look at the team sheet when it came out after school, she knew she made it. Rudolphus had practically told her so after tryouts when she was still fuming. Bellatrix pretended it had been that bothering her, and not the whole Rita thing which she was totally over now.

Bellatrix sat at lunch with Rita, Landon had joined them today. Eliza spoke to him, asking him all sorts of questions while Bellatrix just ate quietly.

"Oh, Trix." Rita said suddenly, "You still need to show me those pureblood 'laws'" She said, putting the word "laws" In air quotations.

"Mhm, yea I can do that tomorrow." Bellatrix replied. Narcissa rushed up to Bellatrix smiling.

"What's up Cissa?" Rita asked, Narcissa's gaze flickered to Rita and then back to Bellatrix.

"The team sheet came out early! Rudolphus posted it in the commons!" She squealed,

"Really?" Landon asked, standing up from his seat, Narcissa turned to him and grimaced,

"I wasn't talking to you." She said, sticking her nose in the air. Bellatrix felt pride for her sister, even if she failed with Andy, Narcissa would turn out well, mother and father would be pleased.

"Don't be rude." Rita scolded,

"I don't take orders from anyone, least of all you." Narcissa said pretentiously, Rita looked to Bellatrix for help but Bellatrix wore a neutral expression. "Anyway," Narcissa continued, much more calm and collected, "I made the team, of course, Alecto and Amycus as well."

"I knew you would," Bellatrix said, her lips slightly upturned. "You're a Black after all." Narcissa smiled, she was thriving off the admiration and praise of her sister. "I'm glad we get to play together this year."

"How do you know you made it?" Landon asked, "She never said if you had." Once again, Narcissa sneered at him and opened her mouth to say something but Bellatrix stopped her.

"Because he practically told me, and I was the best, and on the team last year." Bellatrix said nonchalantly

"And she's practically married to the captain." Lucius snickered,

"Shove it Malfoy." Bellatrix hissed, Lucius laughed but didn't say more.

******

September 18th, 1965

"Ok," Rita said, plopping herself down onto Bellatrix's bed. Curfew had been set and Bellatrix was reading by candle-light. She raised her head and the flames cast a shadow over her face. Eliza and Alecto had gone to a Ravenclaw party and wouldn't be back till late.

"What?" Bellatrix asked, looking at Rita with a confused expression.

"You said you'd tell me about those pureblood laws." Rita said,

"Oh, yea" Bellatrix said, she closed her book and put it on her bedside before walking over to her little bookshelf and grabbing a book that looked larger than the dictionary. She opened it to the middle and flipped through a few pages tracking the words with her finger before finding the right section. "Here." She said finally, handing Rita the book open to the right page. Rita took it and began reading, still sitting at the foot of Bellatrix's bed.

Rita's face fell as she continued to read. "Merlin's beard!" She exclaimed,

"What?" Bellatrix asked,

" A wife, a son, and a slave, these three are declared to have no property; the wealth which they earn is acquired for him to whom they belong!?" Rita read aloud the passage.

Bellatrix shrugged, "just keep reading,"

"In childhood, a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, when her lord is dead to her sons; a woman must never be independent." Rita read,

"That was the part we were talking about at lunch, after you said women don't belong to men." Bellatrix filled in, unbothered.

Rita however was fuming. "This is bullshit!" She exclaimed, "Women are just as important as men! I mean-" She stopped, taking a breath, too mad to even continue. "God Trix, did you learn nothing from Jane Eyre! Do I need to write an essay on that for you to get it?"

"Jane in the end was right." Bellatrix reminded her, "Do not insult me by suggesting a lack of understanding on my part. Jane married, she had a child, she gave up her silly notions."

"Jane remained strong!" Rita exclaimed,

"Corinthians 11:3, "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God."" Bellatrix quoted,

"Don't quote verses at me!" Rita exclaimed, "Not with all this bullshit you've just shown me! I mean you can't believe any of this Trix!" She picked the book up again and read aloud once more, " To be mothers were women created You don't want children!"

"How do you know what I want?" Bellatrix snapped,

"You've said so yourself." Rita replied, her voice lowered from a shout to a pathetic beaten-down tone.

"It's my duty, to produce a male heir." Bellatrix said,

"Like it was your mother's duty?" Rita asked sadly, "She gave up everything, and you hate her for it!"

"I hate her for being weak!" Bellatrix screamed, "She couldn't save us, she couldn't give me anything! She's worthless!"

"Is that what your father tells you?" Rita asked, "Because you sound like him."

"Don't try and insult me using a man I admire." Bellatrix hissed,

"Really? What about Orion? Do you admire him?" Rita screamed,

Bellatrix was at her throat in a matter of seconds. Her nails dug into Rita's flesh as she whispered menacingly, "Don't you dare. Don't you dare mention his name to me, not after everything I did to stop it. Not after everything I told you."

Rita was frozen in fear. She had never thought Bellatrix would actually hurt her. And maybe a few years ago she wouldn't have, but she sure would now. In her eyes, all there was was rage. Rita swallowed, Bellatrix's grip didn't falter. "You're hurting me Trix," She said, it meant to be stronger but her voice broke and tears spilled onto her cheeks.

Bellatrix faltered for a moment, thinking about what she was doing, thinking about what her parents did. Was she really like them? Was it a good thing to be like them? Slowly she let go of Rita who immediately pulled away, rubbing her neck that had scratches from Bellatrix's nails and was red with a handprint. She coughed slightly, the force Bellatrix had initially grabbed her with had knocked the wind out of her.

Bellatrix stared at Rita who looked at her with fear and something broke. That was the last one, Narcissa, Andromeda, Sirius, Regulus, they had all seen her as a monster at one point or another, that was fine, they were supposed to. She was supposed to be scary to them at times, like she was supposed to be scared of her father. But Rita, Rita wasn't supposed to be scared of her. Tears welled in Bellatrix's eyes as she looked at her best friend and part of her knew that this was her fault. If she hadn't been spending so much time with Landon, if she had been a good friend it wouldn't have happened.

Bellatrix opened her mouth to say something but closed it just as fast, there were no words on the tip of her tongue. Instead she stepped forward and Rita stepped back, flinching slightly. Bellatrix stopped cold in her tracks, her face falling.

Rita felt horrible. She had said things she never meant and she wasn't mad at Bellatrix, she was mad at her family, at what they did to her, at all of it. She had hurt Bellatrix who had lashed out and now Rita felt like she was playing victim.

"Trix..." Rita said softly, Bellatrix's gaze fell to the floor, "I-I'm sorry." She said, her voice was slightly hoarse. Bellatrix didn't move or say anything. Rita stepped closer, and when Bellatrix didn't yell or push her away she threw her arms around Bella, cradling her head with her arms. "I'm sorry," She whispered. Slowly, Bellatrix returned the hug.

*****

September 19th, 1965

The next morning, Rita had lost her voice and it wasn't hard to imagine why considering the visible handprint bruise around her neck. She got up and put on a black turtleneck under her uniform shirt. It was fine, it was an accident.

Bellatrix was quiet most of the day and Rita felt bad. Bellatrix needed her right now and she blew off Landon for a while.

By the end of the day Bellatrix was better, she was less foggy outwardly.

Inside she felt empty, she longed to feel rage, or sadness or anything but this numbness that consumed her.

*****

September 25th, 1965

All was good, Bellatrix was back to her normal self and Rita was back to spending time with Landon. Still the events replayed in both their minds and when the bruise did go away, the memory didn't.

After their first period, Rita parted with Bellatrix to go sit with Landon in the library while Bellatrix went for a walk around the grounds. The air was fresh and had a faint smell of cinnamon. Most of the people outside were Gryffindors taking advantage of the day, a few Hufflepuffs sat playing games. Normally Bellatrix would be doing work but she didn't really feel like it, plus she was ahead anyway.

Andromeda was among a group of Hufflepuffs sitting under a large tree. They were all laughing and joking around, Andromeda sat too closely to one boy in particular. Bellatrix spotted them and stopped in her tracks.

She was too far away for any of them to take notice. She contemplated interrupting their merry little time together. On the one hand, Andromeda was playing with fire, on the other if she acknowledged it she'd be obligated to tell their parents which might end poorly for her. She was torn for a few minutes and right when she made up her mind to just ignore it for now, Andromeda caught her eye. The two stared at each other for a long while, before Bellatrix broke away and continued on.

Rita and Landon sat in the library talking about their classes, the one thing she knew for sure was he was nothing spectacular. He wasn't stupid, but he wasn't smart, and he acted like a teenage boy, granted he was a teenage boy but still.

Rita continued listening and he did make her laugh for real but really she was there because she felt like she was supposed to be. Like this would be some turning point and she'd find someone.

When it was time for her to go he complained but in the end they parted and Rita went off the her class.

******

That evening was Bellatrix's first quidditch practice of the year. She sat with Narcissa and Alecto in the locker room while Rudolphus talked over strategy. Finally they went onto the pitch and practice started. They ran drills, flying to and from one end of the pitch to the other and then maneuvering through obstacles.

Bellatrix flew near Narcissa the duration of practice, making sure she was alright. She did quite well and even insisted Bellatrix leave her to her own devices. Pride struck Bellatrix. Maybe their parents would never care, but Bellatrix cared, and she knew it was thanks to her if Narcissa became something great.

*****

Rita tossed and turned in her bed. Sleep was far off while Bellatrix and the pureblood laws stuck in her mind.

Finally she rose and peeked out the curtain to Bellatrix's bed. Her curtains were drawn but a faint light shone from inside. Rita crept over and peeked in the curtain, Bellatrix looked up and greeted Rita with a small smile. Rita took this as an invitation and climbed onto her bed. Bellatrix cast a muffling charm and put her book aside.

"Couldn't sleep?" She asked,

"I could ask the same of you," Rita teased,

"I was just reading, there aren't enough hours in a day to do everything, I mean, between school, practice, work, and then finding time to be alone or do things enjoyable..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "I always seem to want just a few more hours."

"I get that." Rita said, she laid her head on Bellatrix's lap and gazed up at her friend. "Balancing social life is hard, sometimes you just need to pick and choose what you need to do and then decide what you like doing best."

"How do you do it?" Bellatrix asked,

Rita stared up at the green canopy, thinking for a moment, "Well, I don't have quidditch, and I don't work ahead when I don't have to, for one." She said, Bellatrix rolled her eyes, "Since you don't seem keen on giving up over-working yourself, I guess the most important thing is choosing what you like doing most and what's most rewarding." Bellatrix looked at her with a confused expression, "Like, for me, I enjoy writing and it has satisfaction when I can see my progress after I use my time to do it."

Bellatrix mulled Rita's words over in her mind for a long while. Her first response was that she enjoyed being with Rita which was something she could say about few people.

*******

September 30th, 1965

For the first time this week, Rita sat down with Bellatrix, Alecto, and Eliza in their corner of the commons for their free period.

"Not seeing Landon?" Eliza teased,

Rita smiled but it seemed forced, "Not today, he was busy."

The truth was, he wasn't busy, but Rita wanted to hang out with them more anyway.

"So is it official yet or??" Eliza prodded,

"Not exactly, he hasn't asked but he's been referring to me as his 'girlfriend' for a few days now." Rita said, Eliza squealed, Bellatrix rolled her eyes and pretended to gag.

"Oh hush," Eliza said before turning back to Rita, "Pay no attention to her foul mood, it's been like this for weeks."

"Excuse me for not wanting to hear about boys all the bloody time." Bellatrix said snarkily, "It's bad enough with you, and now Rita's joined in and even when they aren't here it's like they are with how many syllables you two waste on them. It's precious time we never get back and the only reprieve from this madness is Alecto and so help me Salazar if she starts up with it as well I might just throw myself into the Black lake with stones tied to my limbs!" Through her little speach she never took a breath and her voice had risen in volume as to attract a few eyes to their corner.

Alecto laughed at Bellatrix's outburst. "Please, no more talk of boys, we might just lose Black." She said jokingly,

Eliza smiled and raised her arms, "Fine fine," she relented, "I won't say another word but if Rita brings it up no promises."

"Well, Rita doesn't plan to unless she is utterly sick of me because that would be the sure way to get rid of me." Bellatrix replied,

"Oh I could never get rid of you Trix." Rita said, falling into Bellatrix with an embrace. Bellatrix blew out and breath and suppressed a smile.

*****

October 1st, 1965

Rita bounded in at lunch with news that made Bellatrix want to jam a fork into her hand.

"Landon and I are official!" She said merrily, congratulations came from their friends but Bellatrix remained silent.

The joyous situation spread across Hogwarts quickly and seemed to be what everyone was talking about. For Rita's sake, she bit her tongue and while never pretending to be happy she didn't show her out-right displeasure. She wasn't even sure why she was so upset, it's not like Rita had done anything wrong and there wasn't anything specific wrong with Landon. Believe her, she had tried to find something on him but had failed.

Her biggest comfort came in knowing everything came to an end. She channeled her anger into quidditch which was good considering their first game was the 3rd.

*****

Rita had spent dinner with Landon and afterwards they walked back to the commons together and talked for a while.

Rita checked the clock and seeing that it read 9:30 quickly ended the conversation.

"I hadn't realized how late it was." She said suddenly, "I have to go really now."

"Of course, I lost track of time as well." Landon replied with a smile.

"Right, well, I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked,

"Yes," Landon replied, Rita turned when he spoke again, "I had a lot of fun with you," she turned back to him with a smile, "I love you." He said, the words slid from him so easily Rita hardly had time to process it. She just smiled and hurried to her dorm.

Landon considered it to have gone well because he was unaware of Rita freaking out in her dorm.

It was too early, they were too young it was too fast. Second thoughts crept in. She thought about breaking up with him on the spot but decided it was rash and impulsive.

I'll give it a week or two and if I still don't like it then I'll end it. Rita thought to herself. Still, even as she tried to convince herself all was well, nagging was in the back of her mind and tightness in her throat. She found herself wondering if she even liked him or just felt like she should, was it too fast or was she being dramatic.

She knew what Eliza would say I think you might just have commitment issues. And Rita wondered if that was the case but she had no trouble with commitment, granted she had never been in a relationship but still.

Alecto would tell her to just break up with him.

Bellatrix would... Well, come to think of it Rita wasn't sure what Bellatrix would say. Whenever these things were brought up she was silent, and when she did speak about it, it was to express her hatred of the subject entirely and her boredom and having to listen while others spoke about it when more interesting, compelling topics could be pursued.

*****

October 2nd, 1965

Doubts continued to plague Rita's mind. She wondered if she even was attracted to Landon or if she had liked the nuance. Was she the problem? She decided to not bring the situation up to anyone and instead spent the day with Bellatrix while telling Landon she was busy with work.

Bellatrix seemed distant with Rita, she brushed it off as being tired and Rita didn't push it.

*****

After practice Alecto approached Bellatrix,

"What's going on with you?" She asked,

"What?" Bellatrix asked, immediately defensive. Alecto raised an eyebrow as if the issue were obvious but Bellatrix didn't say anything more.

"You've been bitchy since the second week of school and you won't even admit you're being bitchy." Alecto said,

"Oh shove it Carrow," Bellatrix said, starting to pass by her but Alecto moved in front of her,

"Look, I don't know what's going on, but figure it out Black." She said sternly, "You're no fun to be around when you're like this and if you think any of your intelligence, or skill, or connections are going to save you then you've got another thing coming because I love you, but even I'm fed up with this moody shit."

Bellatrix bit her cheek, "I'm fine." She protested, though it was said without much conviction.

Alecto surveyed her face for a moment. "I've known you forever Bellatrix, and I've seen you be plenty bitchy and mad, but it never lasts this long without a cause. You don't have to tell me but I think I know what it is and it starts with an R and ends with you in trouble so, while I hope I'm wrong, if I'm not you need to figure out a way to get rid of it."

Bellatrix's face twisted into a scowl. "This has nothing to do with Rita and to insinuate what you're insinuating is insulting to not only me but my entire line."

Alecto didn't falter or break eye contact. "Good."

******

October 3rd, 1965

Bellatrix entered the great hall for breakfast to jeers and cheers alike. Half the students wore red and gold in support of Gryffindor while the other half wore green and silver for Slytherin.

Bellatrix sat beside Rita, ignoring the glance from Alecto. She made a point to seem less bitchy .

"I wish they would shut up." Eliza muttered, "It's too early for this noise."

"What's wrong with you today?" Bellatrix asked, surprised at her friend's distaste for the festivities she usually enjoyed.

"She's hung over," Alecto said, "I told you not to stay at the party in the commons."

"I was having fun at the time." Eliza moaned, Rita looked at her with pity but Alecto rolled her eyes,

"Don't, she learned the hard way." Alecto said, Eliza hit her arm lightly.

"Hey Black! Are you going to foul out for the season again?" A Gryffindor called from across the hall.

Bellatrix turned and located the voice, it was some 4th year boy. She narrowed her eyes at him and turned back to her friends. Had he not continued to provoke her, that's all that would've happened. As he continued to call insults across the hall, Bellatrix's fist tightened on her wand. Right before she pulled it out to curse the boy, Rita's hand folded over her own and stopped her.

"Don't be stupid." She whispered,

Bellatrix looked at her and released her wand. Rita was the only one who could get away with saying anything of the sort.

Still, while he wasn't immediately cursed, Bellatrix burned his face into her memory and knew that sooner or later she would catch him alone. His word against hers, and she didn't have to do much talking because a section of the library and the east wing of the school donated by the Blacks gave everyone a good reminder of who she was. Maybe it was nepotism, but Bellatrix was to a degree, better than most witches and wizards even above her age.

******

At lunch Rita decided to tell her friends about the problem she was having.

"I don't know what to do." She said, "I thought I liked him but now it's like everything he does just repulses me, like I'm embarrassed about it or something"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes and cut into her food, "Break up with him." She said,

"It's been three days," Rita said

"Even better, stop it before it gets too much." Bellatrix grumbled, she didn't want to hear about this but at the same time she always felt like her time with Rita was limited and she didn't want to leave.

"He said he loved me." Rita said quickly. The table was silent, Bellatrix still held her fork in her hand as she stared at Rita, Alecto's eyebrows were in her hairline as she stared in disbelief, Eliza had a queer look on her face as if she was trying to piece something together, Lucius and Rabastian had no clue what to say and Amycus had a look of disgust on his face.

Finally, Eliza broke the silence, "Ignore him entirely, don't speak to him, pretend you don't know him because what the actual fuck?"

"I can't!" Rita protested,

"Just break up with him." Alecto said, "If you don't like him it's not going to end well."

"But what if I do like him and I'm just flighty." Rita said, "He didn't do anything really wrong but I just don't really want to talk to him or be around him anymore!" She really had thought she liked him but now it felt more and more like an obligation.

"Give it till the end of next week," Lucius said,

"If you last that long," Bellatrix said under her breath, Eliza scolded her but Bellatrix felt no shame, "What? It's just the truth..."

******

Bellatrix sat on her broom, waiting for the whistle to blow and the game to start. Her hair fell down her back in a braid Rita had done and her necklace was clipped to the strap of her bra so it wasn't visible.

When the whistle blew, Bellatrix was off. She shot into the air like a rocket and had she gone any faster there might have been smoke.

As she searched for the snitch, Narcissa was dominating. She was quick and seemed to be two moves ahead of everyone else. Her blonde hair streamed behind her as she flew with the quaffle for the rings.

Suddenly she was aware of another person next to her, she turned her head and glanced over to see Alice smiling at her, "You're fast," She shouted, hardly audible over the wind. Narcissa didn't smile back or answer, she ignored Alice and sped up, trying to lose her but Alice kept up. Even as she tried not to, Narcissa's gaze drifted over to her too much.

Slytherin was winning, no surprise there. Bellatrix zipped around in search on the snitch.

"And the quaffle goes to new Slytherin chaser Narcissa Black, and she scores. Slytherin 40-20." They had let a Gryffindor do the commentary and he was only energetic when they scored. "And the ball goes to Gryffindor! Prewett passes to- and Lestrange intercepts. 10 to Slytherin."

Bellatrix caught sight of a fleck of gold close to the ground. She tracked it with her eyes for a moment before bracing and diving before the commenter could make an announcement letting everyone and their mothers know where the bloody snitch was.

By the time they noticed she was too close and Gryffindor's seeker was too far. "And Seeker Black is diving for the snitch." Just before she could grab it it zipped right and Bellatrix gave a shout of frustration as she turned with it, needing to put both hands back on the broom for stability. "It's giving her some trouble..." He said, "Slytherin just scored again," McGonagall said, "Oh, yes one of the snakes scored, shocker," The boy muttered into the microphone.

Bellatrix followed as the snitch shot upwards and down and side to side. It was right in front of her, by now the Gryffindor seeker had caught up but was still a good few seconds behind her. Bellatrix reached out, pushing her broom faster and extending as far as she could.

"BELLA WATCH OUT!" Narcissa screamed from above, Bellatrix glanced to see the Gryffindor beater sending a bludger straight at her, she sped up and grabbed the snitch as the bludger missed her.

With the snitch in hand she turned around to see the Gryffindor seeker falling towards the ground. There were shouts for medical and after a brief moment of confusion Bellatrix realized what had happened. As she sped up, the bludger missed her and slammed into the Gryffindor seeker's head. Apparently he hadn't seen it and pressed on faster.

He hit the ground from about 15 feet because there was no time for anyone to react and a team of witches made it onto the field as the players landed, Bellatrix was the first to touch the ground and see the kid. His face looked bashed in, nose crooked, busted lip, not to mention the bent out of place arm. 15 foot falls are bad enough without what Bellatrix assessed at a glance to be at least a concussion and at worst serious brain damage. Alecto landed next to her and seeing the boy turned and threw up. They were ushered away as a medical team swarmed him.

The next half hour was chaos of people coming and going, teachers trying to herd students one way, and everyone was shouting over each other.

Eventually everything calmed down and Bellatrix went back to her dorm where her friends were already waiting. As she walked through the halls she heard rumors already forming, that he was dead, that he had been taken to st mungos, ect..

When she entered the dorm Rita flung her arms around Bellatrix.

"That was so close to hitting you!" She exclaimed, "I thought it was going to, we all did. Thank Merlin Narcissa yelled at you."

"I don't even think that was allowed." Alecto said,

"Well, that's pretty instant karma." Eliza remarked, "You try and cheat and hit your own teammate instead."

"Don't," Alecto said, "I saw him, he's fucked."

"She threw up." Bellatrix filled in, "It wasn't pretty."

****

Over the next few hours they took turns explaining what they had seen happen and by the end they had a pretty complete picture.

Rita layed down with Bellatrix as Eliza and Alecto drifted off to sleep.

"I'm glad it's him and not you." she whispered, "Does that make me awful?" She asked,

"No," Bellatrix said, what she didn't say was that for a split second she had stared at the kid and wished it was Landon.

Chapter Text

October 4th, 1965

By the next day, most of the stories were either the same, or wildly different than what had happened. Rudolphus informed Bellatrix that the kid was in the hospital but would make a full recovery and that it hadn't been nearly as bad as it had looked.

Bellatrix, of course, told Rita this and fairly soon she had set the story straight.

Bellatrix spent the rest of the day helping Eliza study for her potions exam. Rita spent the day with Landon.

"This is probably my favorite part of the castle." He said, they walked through a grand arch that led to the greenhouses. The air was warm for october and it was bright but only because of the reflection of the clouds.

"Why?" Rita asked, though she didn't really care, Landon shrugged, What a riveting answer. After that the conversation was mostly him talking about his friends and his life, Rita found herself wished she was with her friends.

*******

October 5th, 1965

"Merlin, he's driving me insane." Rita said sitting down between Bellatrix and Alecto at lunch,

"What did he do?" Eliza asked, she was always up for stories, especially involving boys. She considered herself to be all knowing in the subject which Bellatrix found ironic considering her own endeavors never worked out well.

"Nothing!" Rita snapped, "Literally nothing and I just don't want to see him or talk to him and I don't know why!" Her voice trailed into a whine as she slammed her head onto her arms. Alecto smirked and patted her head mockingly,

"There there," She said, Rita's groan of frustration was muffled by her arms.

"How bad is it that I hate talking to him?" Rita asked after a moment, she raised her head and looked at Bellatrix expectantly,

"Don't look at me," Bellatrx remarked,

"Considering he's your boyfriend..." Eliza said, "Pretty bad. What does he do that makes you not want to talk to him?"

"NOTHING! LITERALLY NOTHING!" Rita screamed, the hall went quiet as people stared at her, she didn't care though, lowering her voice she continued. "Nothing, that's the issue, if it was something I'd have a reason but there's no reason for me not to like him!"

"Just break up with him!" Alecto groaned, "You think you're sick of him? I'm sick of hearing about him!" Rita looked downcast and Alecto rolled her eyes, "He's a guy, he'll live."

"He said 'I love you' " Rita blurted out, "And I wanted to die,"

Bellatrix clenched her fork, the thought of that made her irrationally angry when she had no right to be.

"You're fucked," Eliza replied, "I can't help anymore, good luck!"

******

Later, Bellatrix and Alecto sat in the commons by the window while Rita was out with Landon, she had wanted to blow him off but went anyway.

Alecto's head rested on Bellatrix's lap as she read and Alecto messed around with playing cards.

"Remember when we were like 6, and Sirius had just been born, and my family was at your house?" Alecto asked, Bellatrix put aside her book,

"Vaguely, why?" She responded, curious as to where Alecto was going with the train of thought,

"Do you remember how pissed off you were?" She asked, Bellatrix smiled, and nodded,

November 4th, 1959,

Bellatrix was only 6, Walburga had given birth to a lovely baby boy just yesterday. Obviously they were expected to visit. The house was full with all sorts of people for the fabulous christening of their perfect little heir.

The Rosiers, along with the Carrows were among the inner circle of family so of course they were present, Mrs. Rosier herself was newly pregnant, though at the time it wasn't known. Orion was the center of attention while little Sirius lay quite contently in a gorgeous cradle, one fit for a prince so to speak. Bellatrix had seen him once and that was as she helped Druella with the delivery, Narcissa and Andromeda were too young at the time and remained in the drawing room.

When Sirius was born, Walburga was relieved to learn it was a boy, Bellatrix was sent with haste to find Orion and Cygnus and tell them of the news. She knew what it meant even at her young age, any hopes of her being heir (through Walburga's failure to produce an heir at all and Druella's curse of only having girls) had vanished.

Druella had begun to raise her as an heir after Narcissa's birth and Bellatrix had accepted the role eagerly, her thirst for acceptance and knowledge was finally being filled and in her mind, everyone thought her a wonderful heir. Little did she know of the whispers, she was no heir, she was made for a wife and mother, power should not fall into her hands no matter what she did.

With Sirius's birth, she was disregarded, her importance to the family became non-existant, all she could hope to be was the wife of a strong male heir. Plans had been in the making since her birth and long before either child was told, Bellatrx had long been presented to Rudolphus as a trophy.

Now Walburga was shut in some room as the men congratulated Orion. Hidden from everyone, including Bellatrix, was Cygnus's wrath towards Druella. They played the part very well and no one suspected when Druella was shut up in the house for nearly a month after Sirius's birth.

The children were in the drawing room with some nanny who paid little attention other than to scold them. Narcissa and Andromeda were too young to understand much at all and sat quite happily in their little corner playing as children did. Rudolphus was the oldest at the time, nearly 10 and he was out-put to still be placed among the "little ones". Lucius, Rabastian, and Amycus played roughly as all little boys did and Bellatrix envied it if only for the freedom they represented. Bellatrix and Alecto sat sedately in the bay-window, legs crossed, hands folded.

Bellatrix was distressed and her exterior had not been formed yet at such a young age so while her posture and words gave no indication, everything she wished to say was written on her face.

"You're upset," Alecto noted,

"No," Bellatrix lied, control over her tone was another thing she had not mastered and the word came out with vehemence.

"Liar," Alecto whispered,

"Am not!" Bellatrix protested, and though the conversation dropped for then, Bellatrix later confided in Alecto.

"You tried to deny it as well," Alecto grinned, Bellatrix nudged her,

"Not very well, mother thoroughly cursed me for my indignance and 'lack of grace' throughout the situation." Bellatrix remarked,

"Yes, well, Sirius has been cursed enough for that same reason," Alecto laughed,

"Well he doesn't seem to learn. I on the other hand reformed myself." Bellatrix remarked, she still cursed his name though he was not to blame at the time. Still, there were many things Bellatrix blamed him for at the time and even now. One being the loss of her aunt.

November 10th, 1965

Though by this time, all the guests had gone home, Bellatrix and her family remained for weeks more. Bellatrix often asked to see Walburga since they had not spoken for a long while, not as they used to anyhow. She was refused time and time again. Walburga never left her room and when Sirius was brought to her much yelling could be heard from that part of the house, Druella always left with Sirius in her arms crying.

One day, she slipped in after Druella had gone and left the door cracked as she hurried to leave the room with the wailing baby. Walburga lay in bed on her side facing away from the door, so still she could be dead. Bellatrix closed the door quietly behind her and walked around to where Walburga faced. Her aunt took no notice of her, not even when she stood in front of her.

Walburga's eyes were devoid of life, she was pale and dark circles rounded her bloodshot eyes. Most of her body was covered with bedding, but it was apparent she had lost weight, the hollows in her face made her look scary and her hair was oily and matted from nearly a week in bed.

"Aunty?" Bellatrix called softly, Walburga's eyes shifted from the wall to Bellatrix and then back to the wall. Bellatrix felt broken, seeing the strongest person she'd even known reduced to nothing by Sirius.

Bellatrix walked closer to her Aunt and reached a hand to her hair tentatively like she'd snap. Walburga didn't say a word as Bellatrix gently tried to comb out her hair with her fingers.

After a minute, Druella came in and pulled Bellatrix out harshly, her mother's nails dug into her skin and Bellatrix was certain she'd be cursed for her disobedience, instead Druella pulled her into a room and shut the door, then in harsh whispers explained to Bellatrix that she mustn't tell a soul.

Bellatrix returned to her room, the image of her aunt imprinted in her mind and it would be for years to come. Whenever Bellatrix looked at Walburga that's what she saw, not the strong woman she was. Not the aunt who taught her all sorts of things and let her play with her wand and practice magic when she wasn't supposed to. Not the aunt who she'd spend weeks with when Orion was away on business. She was still proper, but always spoke her mind and taught Bellatrix to think for herself. She exercised Bellatrix's brain and engaged her in conversations neither were allowed to take part in otherwise. During dinners, Walburga would whisper to Bellatrix asking her opinion on the topic being discussed so much that it became a habit for Bellatrix to simply reply to everything in her mind.

Walburga slowly got better, a combination of force and responsibility led to it and shortly after she was pregnant again.

She was better with Regulus, and had Bellatrix join her many times in taking care of him under the guise of 'training her'. Still, she never fully returned to who she had once been and Bellatrix despised Sirius for it. Walburga seemed to despise Sirius for it as well. As the years passed, Sirius hated Walburga as much as she hated him and this only filled Bellatrix with more rage towards him. He took away her aunt and then blamed Walburga when he never knew her. He never knew what she had been, and as the years passed Walburga's kindness faded with the memory of who she once was. Even Bellatrix had to strain to remember the old Walburga.

Bitterness only grew.

After that, Bellatrix returned to reading and Alecto fell asleep with her head resting on Bellatrix's legs.

Rita entered the common room searching for Bellatrix and seeing Alecto laying on her made her angry, irrationally angry. And she had no reason to be, she had no right to be. She had no claim over Bellatrix, and she couldn't want one when she had a boyfriend.

******

October 7th, 1965

"I'm doing it." Rita decided, announcing it at lunch,

"What?" Lucius asked,

"I'm breaking up with Landon." Rita said,

"What? Why?" Eliza asked,

"Because I just don't like him that much!" Rita replied, "I mean, it's no use staying with someone I don't like."

"But he's so cute!" Eliza protested,

"I've made up my mind." Rita replied, "In fact, I'm doing it now." With that, she rose from the table and walked down the bench until she came across Landon. She tapped him on the shoulder as her friends watched from the other end of the table. The two walked a little ways away from his friends.

"What's up?" Landon asked, Rita fidgeted and struggled to say anything for what felt like a minute though it was really only a few seconds before she forced the words from her throat.

"I want to break up." She said quickly, immediately the pressure in her chest lessened and she wondered why she had ever been nervous.

"Oh..." Landon said, and he said more but Rita couldn't hear him over the rising noise in the hall.

"uhm, bye." She said before quickly walking back to her friends. Bellatrix watched as Rita sat down on the bench, she looked uncomfortable.

"What did you say?" Eliza prodded, Rita didn't reply, the whole situation had been awkward and she was glad it was over, she didn't feel upset or anything, just relieved.

Chapter Text

October 13th, 1965

Bellatrix woke up to a great owl pecking the window beside her bed. It was just barely light outside and Bellatrix quietly slipped out of bed and opened the window. It was one of her family's owls; the creature hopped in and perched on her nightstand, it had a letter tied to its leg and Bellatrix undid the ribbon. Right as she began to read it two more owls flew in carrying a medium-sized parcel. They placed it carefully on her bed and waited before Bellatrix dismissed them.

Bellatrix sat on the edge of her bed and opened the letter,

Bellatrix Druella Black,
Mother is letting me send a letter with the present she got for your 14th birthday. I miss you a lot and can't wait to see you at Christmas.
- R. A. B.

Bellatrix folded the letter and placed it in her nightstand drawer. Then she unwrapped the parcel. Inside, there was a dark wood box with runes inscribed on the top, they were locking runes she needed to unlock. Leave it to her Aunt Walburga to send a puzzle as a present, still, Bellatrix appreciated it more than anything because she loved a challenge. The runes were more complicated than any of her school classes had yet to offer. Under the the box, a large black leather book sat. Bellatrix opened it to find it was Walburga's writing. The first page had a note written in beautiful cursive.

Bellatrix, this is one of the many books I've written and kept. Inside you will find knowledge that was passed down and is otherwise lost. Ne Dit rien de cette cadeaux a tes parents, et prend soin de le garder proche.

Bellatrix smiled at the note and then flipped to the first real page. The parchment was yellowing with age but the words were written in Walburga's beautiful cursive. The date at the top said September 1st, 1947. Inside ruins and their purposes filled the page and the next few to follow. Bellatrix scanned over them, searching for the one inscribed on the box.

Finally she found it, the ruin was a powerful sealing charm that required the caster's wand to unlock. Bellatrix figured her aunt had borrowed her wand to create the ruin. Bellatrix traced over the ruin with the tip of her wand and it began to glow green before fading. Bellatrix was then able to open the box. Inside was another note from her aunt congratulating her on opening it and instructing her on how to re-inscribe the ruin. Below that was a beautiful dagger with a jade hilt.

Bellatrix picked it up delicately, she turned it over in her hands before running her finger lightly across the edges careful not to draw blood. It was sharp as hell.

After inspecting it for another few minutes she re-placed it into the box and sealed it back with the ruin. Then she opened the book and began flipping through. She found that the back had a few pages empty for her to fill. She quietly thanked her aunt and began to read about ruins, she figured inscribing a few on her wand and dagger would be the best use of her aunt's generous gift. After all, the best gift to Bellatrix was that of knowledge.

The sun was just rising as Bellatrix flipped to a page about precision and accuracy ruins. She dog-eared the page before closing the book and rising from her bed.

Rita was awake shortly after Bellatrix got up.

"Happy 14th," Rita said, Bellatrix smiled.

Rita swung her legs over the side of the bed before bending down and grabbing a box from beneath her bed. She brought out the box wrapped with metallic gold paper and handed it to Bellatrix with a smile. "Surprise!" She exclaimed.

Bellatrix took the box with a smile, Rita told her to open it. She set it down on her bed and unwrapped the parcel to reveal a crocheted golden snitch plushie. Bellatrix had never had a plushie unless porcelain dolls count. It was detailed as well. Somehow Rita had worked the lines and rivets into the soft string. It was the perfect shade of gold.

"It's so soft..." Bellatrix murmured, then turning her attention to Rita said, "I didn't know you crocheted."

"Really?" Rita seemed surprised, "I've done it forever, my mum taught me." Bellatrix smiled, her mother never taught her domestic tasks like cooking or cleaning or crocheting. That was all house elf work and disgraceful. Still, Kreature taught Narcissa a bit of cooking, she loved it despite being awful at it. Bellatrix had always been kind to Kreature, it ensured she got in trouble less and knew more about family affairs. Plus, the elf was bitter and Bellatrix found him amusing.

"It's incredible," Bellatrix praised. She was useless with anything other than magic. Her hands did nothing exceptional, Narcissa drew and painted, sometimes she embroidered and she was good at it. She had an artist's hand and eye, maybe it was a youngest child thing. Bellatrix couldn't help forming comparisons between her and Amy March from Little Women another book Rita had roped her into reading. Bellatrix was awful at art, she pressed down too hard and broke the led of pencils and the tips of quills. She ruined brushed from her heavy hand that bent the bristles.

Andromeda was good at music. There was a feeling behind the keys when she played. Bellatrix might have been 'better' but it was emotionless and monotone. Plus she always played to fast, rushing through everything. Bellatrix was better at fast-paced things. Dueling, games of speed. She was good at thinking, like chess, or solving problems. She never created anything because she was too busy creating herself, she was the ultimate project.

*****

"You know what Landon had said about you?" Lucius asked as the seven of them sat eating breakfast in the courtyard.

Eliza and Alecto were exhausted from staying up so late at the party in the common room after Slytherin beat Ravenclaw. Bellatrix had stayed for 30 minutes before leaving. The music was loud and the people made the room hot. Eliza had roped her into a dance which made Bellatrix want to rope herself from the ceiling. It was a fast tune with too much beat and not at all like the ballroom dancing she was accustomed to.

"What?" Rita asked, perking up at the mention of gossip,

"That you're a heartless bitch," Amycus supplied, robbing Lucius of the great reveal,

"What? For breaking up with him?" Alecto asked, "Move on!"

"No, for breaking up with him after he told her his mum had cancer." Amycus replied,

"So what? I was supposed to stay with him even if I didn't like him just because his mum has cancer?" Rita asked,

"Merlin you actually did?" Eliza asked,

"Yes! I wasn't going to stay with someone I don't want to be with!" Rita defended,

"Why does it matter?" Bellatrix asked, "If his mum has cancer I mean,"

"It's terminal, doctors didn't catch it early enough. She's got a couple months." Rita said, "That's all I know."

Bellatrix was confused for a second before coming to the realization she was a muggle. Bellatrix made a face, "You didn't tell me he was a halfblood,"

"Does it matter?" Rita asked,

"Doesn't make me like him any more." Bellatrix remarked, "He's nothing, halfbloods are hardly better than mudbloods because either one of their parents is a mudblood or a blood traitor."

"I'm a halfblood." Eliza said defensively,

"You're different," Bellatrix dismissed, "Your mum's a witch, your dad's a halfblood born of two halfbloods, hardly even counts." The others said their agreements, reassuring Eliza she was ok. Then Rita went on,

"He sought me out the day after I ended it, said he wanted to "sort things out". I was like, what do we need to sort out, who the kids are gonna live with? We dated for a week!" Rita exclaimed, Bellatrix began laughing uncontrollably and Lucius, Rabastian, and Alecto joined in soon enough.

"You're all horrible people," Amycus said stifling a laugh,

"We're all going to hell." Eliza agreed smiling.

*****

As the day drew on the seven of them sat in the courtyard and Narcissa sought out Bellatrix to wish her happy birthday.

Bellatrix let her stay with them till the sunset and they all went in. Narcissa didn't contribute much to the conversation but she enjoyed the company. They talked about everything from politics to vapid subjects. No matter the topic, someone was laughing at one thing or another.

Bellatrix felt good, even when Lucius or Amycus or Rabastian made a comment that made Bellatrix want to hex them, even when Eliza brought up boys, even when Alecto laid across her lap which she normally opposed.

Bellatrix parted with her friends as they went to the library for a little while and she accompanied Narcissa back to her dorm.

"Thank you for letting me stay with you all." Narcissa said,

"Of course," Bellatrix replied, draping an arm around her sister, "Come again sometime, it was nice having you with me."

"Serious?" Narcissa asked,

"No, he can't come," Bellatrix said jokingly, Narcissa smiled, "But yes I'd love you to hang out with us."

"That's good," Narcissa replied, "I hate my friends."

Bellatrix asked her why and Narcissa launched into a long-winded explanation of why she found her 'friends' annoying and just shallow in general. She got the sense they didn't like her for more than the fact she was who she was and that seemed to be someone important. Plus they got on her nerves and she didn't enjoy being around them. They talked in the way sisters do and walked for longer than they needed before Narcissa said her peace and they arrived at her door after many detours.

"Well, you're free to join me any time," Bellatrix said, Narcissa smiled and hugged her before retreating to her room.

Chapter Text

October 25th, 1965

"Circle up!" Rudolphus yelled, Bellatrix angled her broom to the center of the pitch to meet him. When all the players were there Rudolphus ran over the drills they'd do. As usual, Bellatrix's were different, her's were all about speed and agility. During practice she mainly screwed around just enjoying the rush of trying to knock herself off her broom. The challenge was exhilarating and when Rudolphus got on her about being careful because if she got hurt they were screwed she just went where he couldn't see.

It was a particularly foggy day, when Bellatrix flew a few meters away she was practically invisible, just a dark figure zooming around. It was practically impossible for her to actually find the snitch in this weather so they didn't release one for the sake of time.

The air was chill and tears pricked in Bellatrix's eyes as the wind bit at her nose and face, her hands became congealed and stiff on her broom. She was thankful for the heavy jumper that kept the wind from completely freezing her.

The rush of wind in her ears was deafening, with everyone else out of sight she felt a thrill, she was alone. Suddenly a shrill whistle cut through the air. Bellatrix stopped and listened as the noise came again, she rolled her eyes and flew towards it. Through the fog she saw Rudolphus and the team on the ground, Bellatrix slowed her broom and hovered above them.

"Get Pomfrey!" Rudolphus ordered frantically, Bellatrix was about to question why when she saw Alex and Mallon unconscious.

"Shit," Bellatrix whispered before taking off towards the castle.

She reached the hospital wing, her hair had come out of her braid as she burst in.

"Madame Pomfrey?" She called urgently. The old nurse peaked her head out of her office and asked what the matter was, Bellatrix quickly explained the situation to the best of her ability. Immediately Madame Pomfrey hurried out with Bellatrix at her heels, in the hall they passed McGonagall and Pomfrey quickly asked her to locate the assistants and call St. Mungos.

Once outside, Bellatrix remounted her broom and flew ahead at great speed, she nearly knocked over Rudolphus because of how low she was flying to the ground.

"She's coming," Bellatrix said, Narcissa was kneeling beside the players checking certain things Bellatrix didn't understand but Narcissa seemed to know what she was doing. "What happened?" She asked,

"Alex ran straight into Mallon, they both hit the metal goal post and fell like 30 feet." Alecto said, "I saw the whole thing."

"I told you we needed subs." Bellatrix said, turning to Rudolphus, he cut her a look telling her to shut up. At that moment the nurse rushed over and knelt by Narcissa.

"Pulse is normal but they are out cold, pupils equal but dilated, they both have a concussion and maybe a few broken bones." Narcissa said, Pomfrey nodded knowingly and ordered them to be laid onto stretchers.

They were quickly brought to the hospital wing where some St. Mungos people already stood, ready to take the boys.

"Practice over," Rudolphus said once things had calmed a little. Alecto and Amycus left, presumably to their dorms. Narcissa nudged Bellatrix,

"Cmon Bella, let's go," She said softly, "They'll be alright,"

"You go, I'll be right there." Bellatrix replied, Narcissa looked at her sister before sighing and walking out. Bellatrix turned to Rudolphus, "What the hell are we supposed to do now?"

"Will you calm down." Rudolphus snapped, dragging his hands over his face,

"We have a match tomorrow and we don't have two players all because you refused to carry a larger team with subs!" Bellatrix replied, her voice rising in volume, "I will not calm down because it was a stupid idea and a bad call!"

"I know!" Rudolphus yelled, Bellatrix flinched he had never truly yelled at her, not like that anyway. Rudolphus took a breath before repeating himself in a whisper. "We'll just have to forfeit."

"No way." Bellatrix protested,

"We don't have enough players." Rudolphus replied,

"Well then find some." Bellatrix said, growing annoyed at his resistance to finding an actual solution, "They're going to be out for more than one game so just find new players, and maybe at least a couple subs."

"Like who?" Rudolphus demanded, Bellatrix didn't answer, "You want to be capitan so bloody bad be my guest!" He barked,

"you're just pissed because you messed up." Bellatrix berated, "Don't take it out of me for trying to give you actual suggestions on how to fix this." She crossed her arms, Rudolphus tensed and ran a hand through his hair,

"If you were giving me suggestions instead of just telling what I did wrong -which I'm utterly a wear of- I'd be a little more receptive." He explained through gritted teeth, "You know you're the only person who can talk to me like this and undermine me." He admitted begrudgingly,

"I doubt I'm the only person, it's not difficult to achieve such a feat." Bellatrix quipped, Rudolphus fought a smile,

"I'll find some new players," He relented, though Bellatrix knew that was the only solution, Rudolphus would die before forfeiting, least of all to Gryffindor. If he did Bellatrix wouldn't respect him one bit, no one would.

Bellatrix smiled and turned to leave. She exited the doors and Narcissa stood up from the bench on which she sat. "Are you alright?" She asked, Bellatrix smiled,

"I'm alright,"

"Good," Narcissa replied, her concern subsiding because for the first time in a long time she truly believed Bellatrix was telling the truth. She smoothed out her skirt, trying to imitate Bellatrix's posture and properness. She could learn a lot from her sister.

Bellatrix looked at Narcissa and knew she hadn't completely failed in saving her sisters. She just prayed straight to God her spell would hold and Orion would never touch them. If she could go back and do it again, she would've bled herself dry covering every inch of the house. No, she would've just killed Orion. She looked at her sister wondering how he could ever hurt her, how he could defile something so pure and beautiful. She hated him with every part of her being.

"I'm proud of you Cissa," Bellatrix said as they walked, Narcissa smiled to herself, beaming internally at the praise she seldom received, least of all from Bellatrix.

******

October 26th, 1965

Bellatrix was up at 4am because Rudolphus had left her a message that he wanted to practice once more before the game. Apparently he had managed to find replacements after all.

Bellatrix quickly dressed and tied her hair back before heading down to the pitch. Her and Narcissa were the first ones there. Soon after Alecto joined them.

"So who did you get?" Bellatrix asked Rudolphus,

"Malfoy and my little brother," Pudolphus replied, clearly he wasn't thrilled about the selection,

"They're good players." Bellatrix said, "Better than Mallon and Alex if you ask me."

"I didn't put them on the team for a reason, they're cocky and arrogant," Rudolphus replied, "They think because they're good they can get away with anything and Malfoy isn't really a team player, my brother is just annoying."

"You let me get away with anything," Bellatrix reasoned,

"Seekers don't have to play as a team," Rudolphus answered, "You're faults in teamwork don't matter in your position." He crossed his arms and stared into the low light of dawn before checking his watch again. "I wanted to start at 4:30," He grumbled,

"They'll be her soon." Bellatrix placated,

"They had better."

At 4:45 Amycus, Lucius, and Rabastian came up. Lucius was yawning, Bellatrix could feel the annoyance radiate off Rudolphus and she didn't blame him. They were being insolent and had their need not been desperate she was sure both she and Rudolphus would've yelled at them.

"Everyone fly a few laps." Rudolphus said, Lucius grumbled but didn't argue. Bellatrix was the last to leave,

"Good luck." She smirked before taking off,

"It was your advice!" Rudolphus yelled after her, she turned her head and shouted back not knowing if he heard or not,

"Your call Captain !"

*******

They practiced until 7 when they had to go if they were going to get ready in time for class. Bellatrix had Ancient ruins first.

She walked into the dim dusty classroom and took her seat beside Dolores.

"You're in violation of dress code." Dolores remarked,

"You're in violation as well, you're not allowed to wear masks after halloween." Bellatrix snapped,

"I'm not wearing a mask!" Dolores replied,

"That's your actual face?!" Bellatrix replied in mock terror, Dolores's cheeks turned red and she opened her mouth to say something but Bellatrix cast a little wandless silencing charm, her lips moved but no sound came out. Bellatrix smirked and tapped under her ear to signify she couldn't hear her. Then the professor entered and the lesson began.

Bellatrix decided not to lift the charm, served the girl right and she was probably doing a public service.

******

Bellatrix walked onto the field last to the cheers and jeers of other students.

She took her place and readied to take off. The whistle blew and she shot into the air.

"Slytherin has two players out and stepping in are 4th year Malfoy and little Lestrange."

Some Ravenclaw was commenting, Trelawny was her name or something. Bellatrix had a couple classes with her considering a lot of her classes consisted of Ravenclaws. Still, they never interacted.

"For the last 5 years Slytherin has won the quidditch cup, they seem to be keeping that streak up." She said, her voice was monotone and though not unpleasant to listen to she just seemed very distant.

Bellatrix searched the air for any sign of the snitch.

"And Narcissa Black has the quaffle, she's quite good." Trelawny said, "She's only in 2nd year as well and has a lot to live up to with Bellatrix as her older sister. Speak of the devil, Bellatrix is still looking for the snitch, I guess that's mostly her job though, I wonder if it gets boring waiting around for so long."