Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s well past midnight after their fifth date and Remus has Sirius pinned down on his bed, clutching at the bedsheets and pushing their hips together.

Sirius is panting, his long hair spreading over the pillows and glinting in the low light like an oil slick, reflecting the shine of the LED light strips that line the top border of Remus’s bedroom. The lights shift from dark blue to deep pink - matching the blush that’s worked its way from Sirius’s cheeks down his neck and collarbones. Remus shifts up onto his elbows, using one hand to tip Sirius’s head back and the other to hold onto his neck, thumb tucked into the hollow of his throat. Sirius is shining below him and god he is a star, isn’t he? His face is soft and trusting, open and peaceful, like this is the only place in the world he ever wants to be - and Remus has never felt so out of control in his life.

Honestly, Remus isn’t even sure how they got here - one minute they were tucked together on the big orange couch in his parent’s living room, sharing sips from a contraband bottle of whiskey. And now they’re halfway to naked, closer than they’ve ever come to crossing that invisible line. Neither of them are virgins, not by half, but in all the years of dancing around each other Remus had never really believed they would actually end up here.

Sirius came out in their sophomore year of high school, dropped into conversation over lunch like it was nothing at all. And it wasn’t - their friends adjusted quickly, easily. James almost knocked his basket of fries over bringing Sirius into a hug, told him, “We’re siblings, Pads, no matter what,” while Remus stared hard at his milkshake, blushing, mind whirling.

That summer Sirius and Regulus quietly moved in with the Potters. Telling his family had not gone well, but no one was surprised by that. The whole crew piled into James’s tiny bedroom that first night, drunk as anything. Regulus, perched in James’s lap, sloshed whiskey all over the floor and made fun of Sirius for choosing to have a name that matched the Black tradition, and Sirius had slurred, “Well I still wanted to match with you,” and then, more clearly, “And it feels like an even bigger ‘fuck you’ than deciding I’m not a girl,” holding his own beer up in a toast. Glasses clinked around in a lopsided circle - they could all drink to that.

In the three years since, Sirius had, well - filled out. Still a head shorter than Remus but broader, his voice deep and smooth. Still the same dark hair and big eyes. Still dreamy as ever. When James finally moved in with Regulus last month and out of the apartment he shared with Remus, Sirius had volunteered to help move Remus back into his parent’s house while he looked for a smaller place. And when he asked Remus out to dinner - slumped together on the floor after a long day spent moving boxes and furniture - what else could he ever say but ”yes, of course - when?”.

And now, tipsy from the alcohol and drunk on knowing his parents are out of town - Remus kisses the skin behind Sirius’s ear and feels distinctly like he’s been dropped into another universe. He’s hot all over, sweat pooled at the base of his spine.

Sirius is naked from the waist up, his binder somewhere on the floor with Remus’s sweater. Their bodies are barely touching, but Remus can feel Sirius’s chest, softer and more full than his own but not that different at all, really. Remus takes the hand from Sirius’s throat and presses it against his sternum, between his breasts, splaying his over the soft swell of them. The smile Sirius gives him is disarming in its intensity, a sweetness that even Remus’s notorious sweet tooth would shy away from at how easily it would do him in.

”You’re wearing too many clothes, Moony,” Sirius breathes out, tips his head back as far as it will go to try and catch Remus’s eye and winks when he succeeds.

Remus blinks, nods, and pushes back onto his knees. His t-shirt joins the small pile on the floor and he sits back, shivering all over. For a moment, they just stare, taking each other in. Sirius is lean and pale, soft and inviting, and Remus is, for a moment, self-conscious. They’ve seen each other naked a dozen times, but never in soft lighting with Sirius’s “soft gay longing” playlist on in the background. Never with the intention to touch, and feel.

”We could - ya know. Take everything else off too?”

Sirius sounds shy, questioning in a way Remus has never heard before and Remus knows, suddenly, that he would probably do anything Sirius asked if it sounded like that. He could ask Remus to stand on his head and read through the dictionary and Remus would turn himself over, say, “of course, darling, should I start with any particular letter or just from the beginning?”

Remus can’t even think but he nods, mumbles, “yeah, sure,” and Sirius beams at him.

It feels like slow motion, watching Sirius unbutton his jeans and shuck them off along with his boxers. They get stuck on one of his legs and he almost knocks Remus off the bed trying to kick them off.

”Shit, baby - fuck, sorry,” Sirius says, grabbing Remus by the hips to steady him, “I swear I’m usually more suave than this you just make me so nervous.”

Remus laughs, can’t help it - looks down at Sirius and the sound breaks off. Sirius should look ridiculous - naked with his pants hanging off of his left foot, thick wool socks bunched down to his ankles. But he doesn’t. He looks like a dream come true, his edges blurred by the lights.

Everything happens very quickly after that, like God has gotten impatient and pressed fast forward and well, Remus gets it, it’s fine. He pulls Sirius’s pants and boxers off and onto the floor, kisses the soft hair of his calf and sets it down.

There’s another moment’s pause, a heartbeat of hesitation. And then Remus pushes Sirius back down onto the bed where he lands with a soft “oof” of surprise, looking thrilled by this development. Remus takes the rest of his clothes off faster than he ever has in his life. Sirius rises up to kiss Remus right as he leans down to pull Sirius close, and it’s not even really a kiss when they meet - Sirius’s mouth is warm and open, their teeth clash with a loud clicking sound and then they’re laughing too hard to even keep their mouths together. It’s messy, painful and, beneath it all, impossibly tender.

Sirius breaks their mouths apart to duck his head down, press his forehead to Remus’s chest and say, “I’ve never - I’ve done other things but I’ve only ever touched myself, there.”

It takes Remus a moment for the words to sink in, distracted as he is by, well - everything. But they do sink in, and Remus starts to pull back. Sirius clutches tight to his arms and says, “Moony, I can hear your brain overheating right now. It’s okay, I want - I just thought you should know that it’s not just you.”

”It’s a first for me, too.”

Sirius says all of this still pressed to Remus’s chest, but he pulls back after so their eyes meet in the bright lights as they shift again to deep red.

”I know you’ve never been with someone with uh, ya know,” Sirius says, shrugs one shoulder, his confidence firmly back in place, “a pussy.”

Remus chokes on nothing, his fingers flexing involuntarily against the bedspread. He realizes, distantly, that his hands are almost numb where his whole weight is balanced on them but that doesn’t matter - nothing matters, actually - nothing will ever matter again after this.

”Is that how - I mean, what words do you prefer to use? For yourself?” Remus is very proud of himself for his steady voice. He rolls off Sirius but doesn’t go far, pulling Sirius close to his chest so they’re eye-to-eye, ankles tucked together.

”Dick, or cock is fine,” Sirius says, pressing a kiss above Remus’s heart, “and pussy, obviously. I don’t think I like anal but maybe it’s better with someone else?”

Remus is not sure he’s going to make it out of this conversation alive, his blush has spread down his entire torso and he feels like he might literally come any second but he just hums, runs a hand though Sirius’s hair and nods for him to continue.

”Today’s a good gender day, there are lots of days that aren’t. But ya know, generally, I don’t mind my chest being touched,” Sirius says. His smile tilts playfully then and he takes one of Remus’s hands in his own. “There are some places I think I'll always wanna be touched, though.”

Whatever crumb of control Remus had left disappears, is sucked up by the vacuum of longing that appears in his chest when Sirius leads his hand down to rest just at the end of the dark hair railing down his torso.

Before Sirius came out, Remus hadn't ever really considered the fact that his partner might not have a dick in the way he had always expected. The fact that his attraction to Sirius never wavered, irregardless of his day-to-day presentation, was a revelation. Something he had truly never thought twice about. He didn’t even have a very sheltered or conservative upbringing, but there are some things even his kind, open parents hadn’t ever explained to him. Since then Remus has asked a lot of questions, found lots of helpful Reddit threads in his research - and realized very quickly that parts had little to do with his attraction to people. Remus likes people and bodies, however they are configured. He’s just never dated much - being quietly in love for so long - and never gotten this far with anyone with this particular configuration before.

And so, if someone had asked Remus before tonight if he was confident about, well, this, he would’ve said “sure, yes.”

And it would’ve been a lie. Here, now, with his fingertips touching a patch of hair much softer than his own, he’s nervous again. Everything is uncharted territory. Soft, almost unbearably sexy, territory.

Sirius must sense Remus’s hesitation and he says, nervously, “Whatever you’re comfortable with is fine, I don’t - it’s okay, oh - fuck,”

He cuts himself off with a loud, deep breath when Remus moves his hand all the way down, pressing between Sirius’s legs and God, or whoever is watching, presses fast forward again.

It’s wet and sexy, softer than anything he’s ever felt. Remus trails his fingers up and down - and God he’s never been so hard in his life. This is not something he could ever have prepared himself for - the incredible velvety heat of him.

There’s no way he could have prepared himself for Sirius panting, twisting on the bed when Remus brushes over his hole for the first time, and they both seem to laugh in amazement at how quickly a finger, then two, then three slip inside him. Distantly, Remus is aware that lube is a thing that exists but they barely need it. Sirius is howling and pushing down against Remus's hand and so he just - keeps adding more fingers.

”Is this - are you okay? I can find the lube,” Remus says, slowing his movements to a sweet, languid pace. Sirius seems to catch his breath and sits up on his elbows, watching with his mouth open and Remus’s fingers pressing inside of him.

”I’m - Moony, if I was any more okay I think it might kill me, please, keep moving,” Sirius sounds as far gone as Remus feels and it makes him a little more relaxed, more confident.

Remus keeps twisting and petting, picking up speed and pressing his fingertips up hard. Sirius falls back like he couldn’t hold himself up for another second. Sometime between breaths he's started crying, big wet sobs, his whole chest shaking with it. Remus is watching his hand, amazed at the way his fingers are swallowed whole so easily. The bed sheets are soaked and ruined - how are they going to replace them without Remus's parents noticing oh god - and Remus keeps going, fucking Sirius with four fingers now, practically half his hand.

”Moony, please, please,” Sirius sounds broken, dashed to pieces, absolutely falling apart at the seams.

”I’ve got you, baby,” Remus says, curves his body forward to mouth at Sirius’s dick, pressing his tongue to the underside of it and Sirius all but yells.

Sirius’s hands are in Remus’s hair in an instant, pulling tight as if he’ll float way without something to hold onto. Remus gasps against his dick, panting with his tongue out and Sirius seizes up as he comes. His body clamps down on Remus’s hand like a vice, burning hot - legs shaking, hands pressing Remus’s head down onto his dick as he cries out, tears running down his face and onto the bedsheets.

Sirius lets up his grip on Remus’s hair, petting his hands through it awkwardly like his limbs aren’t connected to his body anymore.

”Fuck are you okay? Should I - pull out?”

Sirius can’t really hear Remus over the pounding in his head but he shakes his head - he doesn’t want to stop. Could do this all night, probably every night for the foreseeable future.

"Your hands are - so big, Moony, I don’t know," Sirius is whimpering and restless and thinks, vaguely, that he might’ve actually come a few times already - a couple of smaller quakes before the one that splits open the earth, "I didn't know it would be like this."

If Remus notices how shaky he sounds, he doesn’t say anything. He lifts his face and Sirius’s eyes are fixed on the spit pouring out of Remus’s mouth and down his chin. It’s so hot that Sirius’s body tries to come again, his muscles twitching around Remus’s fingers - he gasps, eyelids fluttering but not breaking contact with Sirius.

For a long time Sirius had been worried that he wasn’t supposed to want this - to be touched like this, wet and open on another person’s fingers or cock. But the way Remus is looking at him is grounding - as if he is a miracle come to life, something precious.

”You should - keep going,” Sirius says, wiping the tears from his cheeks with shaky hands, “I’ll tell you if it’s too much.”

Something deepens in Remus’s eyes and he rubs circles over Sirus’s hipbone and says, “You’re doing so good baby.”

His words guide a wave of desire through Sirius’s whole body, wrapping around his neck and threatening to pull him underwater - God, does he want to be good. Wants to take anything Remus wants him to. Wants to roll up onto his hands and knees and give him everything and oh, that is a thought he just doesn’t have time to unpack right now.

Remus carefully adjusts himself on the bed, gently pulls his limbs up so he’s sitting up with one leg hanging off the side of the bed. The fingers inside of Sirius are jostled a little, and Sirius whimpers. Remus wraps one long arm around Sirus’s hips to keep one hand firmly on his ass and Sirius feels like he’s going to shake out of his skin. Remus looks into his eyes, raises an eyebrow, asking - Sirius nods, says, “yeah, please.

With the new position, Remus has more leverage and he moves his hand a little, experimenting with angles. He twists his wrist, curling his fingers up like he’s beckoning Sirius to him with his whole body, hard enough to pull Sirius down on the bed.

Sirius can’t help it - he’s so sensitive, his entire body an exposed nerve - he comes again. Doesn't even realize it's happening at first because it’s never felt like this when he gets himself off. He’s never been able to come more than once at a time and his whole body is comfortably underwater. Weightless, floating. Remus just - slows the movement of his fingers, stopping when Sirius stops clenching around them. He leaves them pressed in deep and stares at Sirius while he shakes apart, moaning gibberish between huge, gasping breaths. Everything has bled together, rivers converging into an ocean, a wave that knocked his breath loose. Shaken.

After, it's dead silent in the room for a beat - and then Sirius is heaving huge, wracking breaths and saying, "What the fuck, oh my god," under his breath over and over again and Remus is still just staring like it's all caught up to him. His mouth has dropped open into a soft bow of shock and he looks down at his hand like he can’t believe it’s attached to him.

Remus finally takes his fingers out slowly, one by one, and Sirius curses with each one until he's lying there in a pool of - something oh my god that had never happened when he was alone. What is happening to him, empty and tingling all over with no idea of what comes next. The emptiness is all-consuming - he’s so wet, his body clenching around nothing and wanting nothing more than for Remus to slide into him, press him into the bed and keep him there for as long as he pleases. Sirius is dazed, unable to speak.

Maybe he should feel sore, but he doesn’t. Maybe he should feel embarrassed - he’s never come so quickly in his life, didn’t know it was humanly possible. But he doesn’t. He feels ravenous.

Sirius takes a few deep, calming breaths and tries to sit up, but can’t quite make it. His whole body is loose, boneless.

Remus is watching Sirius carefully. He’s still hard, obviously, and he's petting the soft hair above Sirius's dick, mindless, automatic. "That - that looked like a lot, are you?"

The last word buckles, splits in half. He tries again.

"Are you okay? Should we - keep going?"

Sirius can't help himself, he laughs. It bubbles out of him, he can’t keep it in. He feels absolutely giddy. Can't imagine what else could possibly come after this. He’s hysterical - delirious with the possibilities this opens up. It's not that he was ever afraid of someone else making him come, certainly would never be afraid of that person being Remus. But part of him has always been nervous that it wouldn't be as good as it was when he was alone. And was it even worth all the work, the risk, the mortifying ordeal of Someone Else seeing him split open, tossed against the rocks. It goes beyond the typical vulnerability of sex, deep into a part of him that has always been scared of being Too Much.

But Remus is not Someone Else. Or, he is - someone else entirely. Something altogether different. Remus is kneeling between Sirius's legs, watching his full chest heave and literally running his long fingers through the hair around Sirius's dick like it’s killing him not to touch it. Remus is hard, and big, and loves him.

Sirius runs one hand through his hair, wraps the other around Remus's wrist to guide his hand back down.

"Fuck yeah, let's keep going."

Chapter Text

Remus insists that they take a quick break - something about needing to drink water, and make a sandwich. He stands, unfolding his long body and reaching up to stretch - his lovely fingers almost graze the ceiling and Sirius’s mouth goes very dry. He is intimately aware of exactly how long and handsome those fingers are, probably will never be able to look at Remus’s hands again without having to cross his legs or leave the room, or press Remus up against the nearest available surface. It’s a good problem to have.

Sirius tries to stand but his legs give out and he tumbles back against the sheets, breathless and dizzy. Remus is next to him in an instant, muttering, “Don’t be a hero, Pads - I’ll bring you a snack, yeah?”

There is a sweetness that Sirius has never heard before, something syrupy smooth in his words and it occurs to Sirius all at once that Remus has been holding back in his affection. It is softer than anything - cotton candy, powdered sugar - dusted over absolutely everything. And god Sirius was already barely keeping it together before, how can he possibly get through even a day of this kind of unhurried, obvious affection?

One of Remus’s big, warm hands grazes Sirius’s face, it’s smooth and comforting and - wet? Oh. Fuck. Remus’s hand is wet because it had literally just been inside of him - it’s warm from the heat of his own body. Sirius tilts his cheek into the touch, grabbing Remus’s wrist and locks eyes with him. Remus’s eyes go wide and he has the audacity to blush.

”What happened to the confident man who just fucked me within an inch of my life?”

Remus’s eyes narrow back down and slip into focus, heavy as lead - a lock clicking into place. Sirius’s playful smile tucks back into something softer, more controlled. In all of his previous relationships Sirius had been expected to take the lead. For the most part, this was a good thing that came from a place of kindness - of not wanting to make the wrong step, say the wrong thing. No one had ever known him well enough to see the want underneath the want, the molten core of him that couldn’t bear to be anything but good.

As far as realizations go, this is not a particularly surprising one but still, it’s something that probably needs a conversation.

Remus is still holding onto Sirius’s face, a little firmer than before. He kisses Sirius’s hairline, darts his tongue out to lick the tears off of his cheek.

”Pretty thing,” Remus says softly, like a secret, that heavy look anchoring Sirius to the bed, “Lay back down for me, I’ll be right back.”

And then he’s up, slipping on a robe and out the door in a few long strides.

The lights have circled back around to pink and the playlist is still going.

Sirius takes a quick inventory of his body - the sheets underneath him are soaked, his legs sore and shaky. He can feel hair sticking to the sweat on his neck, knows without looking that it’s tangled beyond recognition. He should feel embarrassed, naked except for the one sock hanging off his left foot, covered in sweat and spit - but he doesn’t. It feels dirty, sure - filthy, even. But it feels good.

The nightstand next to the bed has been knocked askew by the shaking bed and Sirius sits up enough to reach into the half-open drawer. There’s a bottle of lube in there, a pack of extra large condoms. Sirius’s whole body pulses at the sight of them but he scoots them out of the way to find one of the hair ties Remus keeps on hand for him. He sits up fully, bends himself over and shakes his hair out before carefully looping it into a mess half-up bun, just enough to get it out of the way.

He remembers what Remus told him to do - lay down. Wait. Be still. That hadn’t been an explicit command but the implication was there and Sirius would listen. He would sit, and Remus would be right back.

The sandwich is a grilled cheese - perfectly golden on the outside and molten in the middle.

”Drink at least half of this,” Remus says, handing Sirius a plate and sitting a large glass jar of ice water on the nightstand. He tilts his head, seems to notice that the nightstand has been knocked sideways, and his eyes go unfocused again. Sirius picks up the jar with both hands, trying to hide his smile behind the glass.

Sirius would never make a grilled cheese for himself but he loves them, and so Remus makes them for him as often as possible. He keeps Sirius’s favorite cheese on hand, and big crusty loaves of bread from the bakery they go to on Sundays. There’s a smear of spicy mustard on the inside, and cracked black pepper, small additions that Remus learned to include after many late-night dinners together. It’s perfect. It’s a sandwich that says, “I know you, deeply, and I love you, even deeper.”

They sit together on the bed and eat in silence, knees pressed together, taking careful bites over the plates to catch any crumbs. The lights have spun back around to blue and the cheese of their sandwiches almost glows under them. Remus never lets them eat in the bed - everything about this feels like a treat. Sirius feels spoiled in way that he’s never experienced, doesn’t know what to do with.

When both plates are empty Remus stacks them, kisses Sirius on the cheek and disappears into the kitchen again. He’s back in an instant, dropping his robe back onto the floor.

Remus sits onto the bed next to Sirius and takes one of his hands, kisses the knuckles.

”How’re you feeling?”

”Tingly? Sirius answers, laughs at himself because that’s not really an answer but it’s the truth. “I mean - good, really good.”

”Do you still want to keep going? We can stop here,” Remus shapes each word with sincerity, his eyes soft and open. “If you’re sore or, uh, if you want to slow things down.”

“I don’t want to stop,” Sirius says, quiet and confident, “And I don’t want to slow down.”

Remus blows out a deep breath, his cheeks puffing up with it.

“Cool, cool - okay, yeah,” he says, “I mean - I want to keep going too.”

“Cool, yeah,” Sirius echoes. He looks down at their hands and then back up into Remus’s eyes. “Cool.”

Time shifts and they’re kissing again.

Sirius is perched on Remus’s chest, tongue in Remus’s mouth, rubbing his dick against the coarse hair above his belly button. He’s panting, running his tongue over the crooked fence of Remus’s bottom teeth.

Remus is hard again, pressed up against Sirius’s ass. The heat of it sets Sirius on fire, urges his hips forward again and again. He’s so wet, it’s making a mess, it’s getting on everything. He thinks about the wet spot on the bed - Remus put a towel down over it and Sirius blushed all over, pulled them down together on top of it.

“Do you - would you come up here?” Remus asks, rushed out against Sirius’s mouth. “Like - ya know, sit up here?”

“Sit up - on your face?” Sirius pulls back, brows knit together, “I don’t know if I’m ready to have your mouth - on me.”

“Oh, I didn’t - I meant you could - I could suck you?” Remus says, clearly flustered. His hands are resting on the small of Sirius’s back, long fingers overlapping over his spine.

Oh. Sirius has never imagined that - never thought to even ask for it but now that the offer is out there in the open air between them, he wants it. Would do anything to have it.

“Yeah, fuck, sure - let me,” Sirius scoots all the way up, urged forward by Remus’s hands, until he’s kneeling just under Remus’s chin. Remus is staring up at him like he’s made of gold, precious metal warming up under his hands.

“Are you comfortable?” Sirius asks. He braces his hands on the wall just above the headboard - a few stands of his hair have been worked out of his messy bun by Remus’s clever fingers and they dangle just short of brushing against his forehead.

“I - I have never felt more comfortable in my life,” Remus says, running his hands up and down Sirius’s thighs, “Might just live here now, honestly.”

Sirius huffs out a laugh, rolling his eyes, “Sweet talker.”

“No, baby, you, are the sweetest thing.” Remus’s eyes are dark and sparkling. Desire curls up in Sirius’s body like smoke, warming him up to the tips of his fingers. “C’mere and show me how sweet you are.”

Remus pulls Sirius forward by his thighs and drops his mouth down over his cock. Sirius’s whole body seizes up and he moans, deep and dirty. Remus’s mouth is hot and impossibly wet, and he’s making these tiny, startled sounds - like he can’t believe this is happening, like he can’t live without Sirius’s cock in his mouth.

“Oh my god. ” Sirius looks down at where Remus is sucking him - his thighs are shaking, hips moving back and forth with no rhythm, chasing the heat of Remus’s mouth and tongue.

Remus pulls back, looks up at Sirius with big round eyes and sticks his tongue out, taking over the rhythm and pulling Sirius’s hips to rub his cock back and forth over his tongue. Remus is drooling, eyes rolling back like he loves this and Sirius’s mouth is open, he’s panting and moaning - it feels like his skin is on fire. There’s sweat dripping from his forehead and into Remus’s hair.

“Moony, please - can I have your fingers?” Sirius asks. He shifts all of his weight onto one hand and drops the other to wrap around Remus’s hair. The curls are damp with sweat, impossibly soft.

“Of course, baby, you can have everything,” Remus sounds drunk, blissed out, “Everything.”

One of his hands slides up Sirius’s thigh, pushes his legs a little further apart and then his fingers are inside of him again where they belong, long and searching. Sirius has never been so wet in his life and the sound of Remus’s fingers moving inside him is obscene. A third finger slides in next to the first two with no resistance and Remus twists them, hooking forward and rubbing back and forth.

“Fuck,” Sirius gasps, rolls his hips down and Remus laughs a little, breathless. He puts his tongue back out and Sirius chases it, his body caught between the twin points of pleasure.

“Want you to come,” Remus says, lapping his tongue under Sirius’s cock, “Want you to come all over my face.”

Sirius whimpers, tugs hard on Remus’s curls - and comes, slamming his public bone up against Remus’s face and holding him in place while he rides it out.

It’s wet, everywhere - shoots into Remus’s mouth and all over his cheeks. Joy bubbles up in Sirius’s chest and he laughs - looks down at Remus’s face covered in come and another shock goes through him. Has he always been able to do that?

Remus removes his fingers and pulls Sirius down roughly until they’re eye to eye.

“I didn’t know I could do that,” Sirius says, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t fucking apologize for the hottest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Sirius’s smiles and laughs again, tilting up until their foreheads touch. He’s panting hard, feels like he’ll never catch his breath again and says, before he can back out, “Do you want to fuck me?”

“Listen to me because I am being so, so sincere right now,” Remus says, “There is literally nothing else on Earth that I want.”

“Okay, yeah,” Sirius says, rolling off of Remus and back onto the fluffy pink towel spread underneath them. “C’mere, then.”

They kiss for a long, long time. Remus left for a minute to wipe his face clean while Sirius blushed and gulped down more water, and then they were melting together again.

The lights are deep pink, illuminating everything. Remus moves against Sirius like he’s been doing it forever - like he wants to do it forever, couldn’t stop if he tried. The world could burn around them and they would let it.

Remus is hard, long and thicker than Sirius imagined he would be. Three of his fingers are rubbing up inside of Sirius, twisting around and petting his insides like he’s trying to make a home there, carving out a space to settle into. Sirius thinks about the nightstand, the handful of condoms. They’ve fucked every way but up already tonight, Sirius has come more times than he can could and shouldn’t that be enough? It’s like a well has been dug in his chest that doesn’t run dry, pouring desire out all over them both, drowning them in it.

“Please,” Sirius pants, tearing his mouth away from Remus’s tongue and teeth, “Please fuck me.”

“God,” Remus groans, pulls his fingers out and runs them along Sirius’s cheek. They slide along Sirius’s bottom lip and Remus looks at him, questioning. Sirius nods, opens his mouth under Remus’s fingers and moans around them, a feral, twisted sound. They taste sweet and Sirius’s body clenches down around nothing, feeling empty and overstimulated. He pulls his head back and Remus’s fingers drop to his neck.

“Moony, please, please fuck me, I need you,” Sirius begs, whines, every ounce of shame fucked out of him, “I need more.”

Remus pulls the drawer so hard it slips off of its track and goes clattering to the floor. Sirius laughs while Remus rolls his eyes and reaches down, digging through the mess and pulling a single condom out of the pile.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m nervous,” Remus says, settling up on his knees and opening the condom, rolling it down. Sirius is still giggling, and Remus rolls his eyes.

“Stop laughing at me!”

“I’m sorry, I’m,” Sirius settles down, going quiet, “I’m nervous too.”

“I’m going to be so good to you,” Remus says, pulling Sirius’s knees up and pressing them against his chest until they’re almost in line with his shoulders. “And I’ll stop if you need, slow down, anything you want.”

Sirius doesn’t know what to do with his hands - he decides to cross them above his head, wrists crossed, palms up. He is nervous, but the desire is a waterfall and the roar of it quiets everything else.

Remus lines himself up, rubs his cock up against Sirius's for a moment, and presses inside.

It’s only a little wider than four of his fingers had been, but it’s so much longer and the stretch is deeper. Sirius arches his back up, gasping out in small bursts of sound as Remus settles all the way inside.

They stare at each other, both of them wide open and wanting. Remus actually looks like he might cry and the sight of it makes Sirius want to cry. Every inch of his body is tender, soft and electric.

And then Remus moves and the whole world tilts on its axis.

Sirius’s cock brushes against Remus’s stomach everytime he slides in and it sends shockwaves through his entire body. Sirius wraps his fingers up in his own hair, desperate for something to hold onto.

Remus is gripping into Sirius’s thighs, holding his weight like it’s nothing, moving inside him faster with every thrust, tilting his hips up until Sirius’s vision goes white and he yells, a mix of Remus’s name and every curse he’s ever heard. Remus’s grin turns wicked and he keeps the angle - quick, shallow thrusts that make every hair on Sirius’s body stand on end.

“You feel incredible, you feel perfect,” Remus is panting, pushing Sirius’s legs up even further, giving himself more room, “Hot as hell inside, messy and wet like a goddamn dream.”

It’s nonsense, really, but it’s the hottest thing Sirius has ever heard.

“Can you come on me again?”

“I don’t - I don’t know.”

One hand moves to press against Sirius’s cock, fingers circling around it and all over it. Sirius cries out, trembling. There’s a deep pressure in his hips, flames rising higher with every second.

“You’re going to try for me.”

Sirius nods frantically, “Okay, yeah, I’ll try.”

The hand on Sirius’s cock is just this side of too dry but Sirius doesn’t want him to stop. Remus is fucking him harder, with enough force to move him up the bed. Sirius braces his hands against the headboard and uses the leverage to push down, meeting Remus’s hips.

“There you go, that’s perfect.”

“I’m - I think I’m gonna come again,” Sirius is shaking, the pressure in his hips building to a cresting wave.

“Do it, come all over me, fuck, ” Remus’s pace stutters and it’s that - knowing that Remus is close, is going to come inside of him, because of him, that pushes Sirius off the edge again. It lasts forever, wave after wave of heat until Sirius lets his legs fall down onto the bed where they twitch and ache.

Remus falls forward onto his hands, drops his face into Sirius’s neck and moans, bites down - and comes.

“I think I have to just throw these sheets away,” Remus says, later, after their heart rates are close to normal.

The towel had caught most of the mess, but it seeped through and onto the comforter and fitted sheet. Not even the pillowcases were spared. Everything reeks of sex, and Sirius feels high with the thought of it.

Remus wraps Sirius up in his robe and strips the bed. Together they put on the spare set and Sirius lets himself think about a time in the future where they might be making their bed with sheets they bought together.

The robe swallows Sirius up but it’s warm, and it smells like Remus. He could live in it, probably. Maybe Remus will let him.

“Can we take a bath?” Sirius asks. The tub in Remus’s bathroom is huge, deep and wide. It could easily fit them both. “And we can talk, ya know. Compare notes.”

“Notes? It seemed like I did a pretty good job,” Remus says, rubbing his hands along Sirius’s arms where they’re lost in the sleeves of the robe. “We make a good team, I think.”

“I mean compare notes on what to try next,” Sirius says, shrugs his shoulders.

Remus takes Sirius’s face in his hands and laughs, a bright, happy sound.

“Yes, we can take a bath,” Remus says, “And yes - please tell me more about your ideas for next time.”