OK—the first chapter is up! You’ve probably seen the AO3 notification already, but here’s the link to one of the Chinese websites: https://ecthelionfountain.lofter.com/post/4050a5_2be12cbd3. Just a heads-up—I can’t provide the full link to your work there, as AO3 is blocked in China. But I’ve included enough information for those who can use a VPN to find your original!
For Chapter 3, I actually have a few questions about canon before finalizing my translation. :)
1. Amon Anwar – According to Unfinished Tales, Cirion moved the casket containing Elendil’s ashes to the Hallows of Minas Tirith. So technically, the Tombs of the Kings in Rath Dínen were opened once after King Eärnur was lost. I wonder if the sentence in Chapter 1 regarding this should be reconsidered. Also, since the Tradition of Isildur was no longer followed after that, do you envision that Denethor still took Boromir there as a revival of the ancient tradition, despite knowing that Elendil was no longer resting there?
2. Boromir’s horse, Bathor – I couldn’t find a Sindarin meaning for the name, nor does it seem to be Old English. What was your reasoning behind choosing this name?
Thank you so much for the translation work you're doing and for this message!
1) It seems I wasn't as thorough in my research as I should have been, ouch! I read about Amon Anwar being the place of Elendil's burial but the part about his body later being moved must have slipped me, so THANK YOU for pointing this out! I want to make minor corrections in the text of chapters 1 and 3 to amend this, as you have suggested. I'll get to it soon.
2) It was derived from the elvish vatta-/batta-/batha- root meaning 'to trample'. It is not strictly a modern sindarin word, but rather from quenya/noldorin. I found the idea on one of the Tolkien fan sites.
EDIT: I have made the suggested amendments - one in the 1st chapter and several in the 3rd chapter. I left the part about the Denethor and Boromir's pilgrimage, but I changed the commentary about it slightly. Even after Elendil's remains were removed I think it would still be a Gondor heritage site worthy of a father-son trip, especially since it was also the place where the Rohan's founding oath was made. Once again thank you!
Great! I’ve updated the translation of Chapters 1 and 3 accordingly. It’s absolutely true that Amon Anwar remained a hallowed place and a memorial site. I think it makes perfect sense for Denethor to still take Boromir there—we just need to be careful not to assume Elendil’s remains were still present. Your updates look good to me!
As for Bathor—yep, a Quenya origin explains it! I have some knowledge of these languages, which is why I usually look into the roots, origins, and meanings. :D
There are a few other questions I’d like to discuss with you. :)
3) Regarding the attack on Osgiliath—as much as I love Chapter 2 as it is, there are some details that don’t entirely align with the Appendix of LotR and UT, namely:
(a) The date of the attack is TA 3018, June 20th (Appendix B).
(Edit: The dates in Appendix B should be taken literally, as they correspond to “June” in the King’s Reckoning rather than our modern June. I believe the correct month should be Nárië instead of Lótessë, and the day is the 20th, as noted at the beginning of Chapter 2. Similarly, for Chapter 1, since it occurs the day after Midsummer, Cermië should be used instead of Nárië. In Chapter 3, given that Boromir departed from Minas Tirith on July 4th and this marks the fifth day after his departure, the correct date should be Cermië 9th.)
(b) Only the Witch-king was allowed to reveal himself in the first attack, and the Ringwraiths passed the Bridge at night before Boromir and Faramir were able to destroy it (UT, The Hunt for the Ring).
Personally, I don’t think it needs to strictly adhere to canon, and reconciling (b) with the existing text would be tricky, so it’s really up to you. :) We could simply add a note outlining the differences—I don’t think it would take away from the story’s brilliance.
4) According to LotR, the name of Grima's father is Gálmód.
5) According to Appendix B, the year Gandalf visited Minas Tirith for the scroll Isildur wrote is TA 3017, while Chapter 1 sets the story in 3016.
Omg hahahah I have been blessed with expert consultations regarding the history of Middle Earth! I'll try to answer as best I can.
3) (a) Okay, so, I know the dates are fumbled. UODS was at first supposed to be part of an over 50 chapter longfic that took place both on Earth and on Arda, with characters traveling to and fro, and I had to juggle the earthly and middle-earthly timeline. Tolkien dates are confusing to me and considering there's a shift between Tolkien Calendar and Gregorian calendar, I had to settle for a dating convention that would make sense to me. But this was like, 2 years ago and I already don't remember why exactly it made sense 🫠🥴😵💫 After your comment I tried to re-calculate it and I'm so confused now XD I am aware that my dating system creates some inconsistencies, and in addition it seems that even within my own convention I have made miscalculations... Chapter 1 - this date was chosen to correspond to an event that took place on Earth in my WiPs but I did make a mistake with the names of months oh my god 😵 Chapter 2 - here again I made a mistake with the names of months, according to my own reckoning the battle should fall on the last day of Narie (?) Which I realize does not make sense within the Tolkien lore 😵 Chapter 3 - again I tried to coordinate it to the Earth calendar, hence the shift. But now you have pointed out that the dates given for Middle-earth events refer to the Kings' reckoning not Gregorian, so that would be a strong argument for changing it. Especially since the other works/chapters of my saga are at this point unlikely to ever see the light of day and UODS has effectively become a standalone. I have to think about what to do with all this 🤷
If the dates bother you you can change them in the translation according to your own calculations - certainly they make more sense if you don't count what happened in the WiPs and my headcanon timelines 😅
(b) I know but it is just more dramatic that way 😅😅😅 Call it licentia poetica.
4. Thank you! Changing it as we speak!
5. Again, this is a sort-of deliberate change from the canon to fit the overall plot of my fic better. It doesn't even have to be inconsistent since it is not precisely stated what it was that Gandalf was looking for in 3016 (though I left it implied that he could be already searching for the Ring lore). Maybe Gandalf visited two times idk 🤷🤷🤷
Thank you for taking the time to point these things out!
Ohh, I wouldn’t presume to call myself an expert! And thank you for your patience— as you’ve likely noticed, I have a deep appreciation for brilliant stories that stay within canon, and since I’m translating, I’ve been paying extra attention to details, which has certainly brought out my pedantic side! Again, I truly appreciate your tolerance—none of my comments are meant as criticism in any way. I’m absolutely loving the story, and once I finish translating, I’d be more than happy to list all the excellent parts!
For (3) – Yes, the reckoning is definitely confusing 😓 I’ll unify it to the King’s Reckoning in the translation for consistency with Appendix B. If you’re interested, we can definitely discuss this more, but honestly, this is just me being freakishly pedantic, lol.
For (5) – Yep, I think that works perfectly! As you said, it hints at Gandalf’s purpose without stating it outright, and it’s entirely plausible that he visited Minas Tirith more than once for this—perhaps he didn’t find what he was looking for this time, or maybe he didn’t even know exactly what it was yet.
Once again, thank you for writing this story—my friend and I, along with many Chinese readers, have enjoyed it immensely! Looking forward to the WIP as well—very curious (and hopeful!) about what you have in store!
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DeepInDemons on Chapter 3 Fri 07 Mar 2025 10:28PM UTC
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