Comment on rise of the serpentine

  1. The change in expository dialogue regarding the Serpentine Wars is pretty good. The later retcon from "ancient" to "one generation ago" made Kai's initial disbelief in their existence pretty implausible.

    Also BUDDY YOU ARE LITERALLY BULLYING A CHILD. HE WAS NOT WRONG TO CALL YOU THAT.

    Also Also it's neat to emphasize that Zane can only kind of read the prophecy. Adds to the feeling that the ninja just do not have all the information, and neither does the audience (or, well... people who've watched the show have that information, but through no fault of the writing. You get what I mean).

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    1. an icon of superstar rockin jay. he is surrounded by the bi and demiboy flags, and is smiling widely at the camera, holding up peace signs.

      ahhh tysm!!! part of what i'm doing with this rewrite is making it a lot more realistic, as well as tying up loose ends created due to every season retconning or adding new information (because it kept thinking it was ending lol). so fixing up dialogue, making actions and words more realistic, that's all part of the grand plan :3

      im also removing zane's Permanent Internet ability of just. knowing everything ever. why would he know ancient jagian that makes no sense 😭

      alterline is meant to be kind of a gift to fans, yea. a way of sprinkling in "hey you know this from a future season!" rather than an introduction to the series for newbies. but i do write with the characters' perspectives being the most important thing, so their povs will have information that others don't, and vice versa. if the ninja don't know what the green ninja prophecy means, then the audience doesn't either! yelling at the screen won't tell the ninja anything lol :P

      ty very much for reading!!! :D

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