Alright- emotional support cat at the ready. Let's go!
The dream in the beginning was both lovely and heartbreaking, with G'raha reliving that perfect memory, but this time tainted by guilt. Still, though, it's a clever way to weave in the topic of actually being able to save him after all. You'll be able to fulfill your promises in time, G'raha, just you wait! ('twas a lovely repreive indeed, bittersweet though it was)
I'm really loving the detail of him putting his hood on and forcing himself to carry on, to set aside his feelings. HMMMM G'raha, I wonder if that might become a habit. (*Exarch-related sobbing*) Very clever :3
Ooh, I was wondering if there was going to be a mention of a grave or something of the sort. What a lovely location for the memorial! It's only appropriate that he finds himself there in the end. Even if it's only in spirit, it's somewhere he can feel closer to Y'sato- to the comfort of the memory of their relationship, as well as the guidance G'raha could almost certainly use from him now.
And here we have it, the grand reveal! I always imagined it must have been such a strange experience for G'raha to first learn of their plans. How impossible and miraculous they sound at first, and then gradually as he comes to realize the depth of their preparations- perhaps a scholarly appreciation for the brilliance of them. And ouchhhh, him thinking that a couple decades was a sacrifice... oh sweet boy. You have no idea.
Similarly, how bizarre it must have felt to realize that he's meant to be the savior now. His academic accomplishments notwithstanding, he's always been pushed aside, until he claimed his own destiny by sealing himself within the tower, but it was the tower's secrets that were meant to be the hero, not him... As much as we know he dreamed of playing the part, actually becoming the hero, having lives in his hands is another matter entirely. Being tasked with the weight of so much responsibility must have been terrifying, especially after the heartbreak he was met with upon waking... and thus he shoves himself under the hood to cope, both literally and figuratively, eventually forgetting himself entirely. THE FEELS. Gosh. I can't wait to see how you portray that gradual transformation, for his mission to become his purpose, and eventually his entire being.
Emotional support cat abandoned me to go smack one of her siblings about when the rambling started, LOL. Apologies. I just have a lot of G'raha feels and I've never explored this time period so AHHHHHHH
I shall look forward to more of this delicious angst whenever you're able to update! <3
No need to apologize :D I love your excited rambles and I have a lot of G'raha feels too and this time period brings it all out so pardon me if this reply is a bit long ^^'
Again it means a lot to me to hear you like it so much <3 I love and put a lot into all of my stories but this story especially is very special to me and close to my heart. I give it my all so I'm so relieved to see that it shows.
Initially writing and drafting this all out was difficult enough, but editing it proves to be a challenge in other ways. Again everything floods back up to the surface with me revisiting it all, as well as looking over what scarce info there is from this period in canon once more to make sure I get it right as well as making sure everything is connected to Shatter and Picking up the Pieces. Needless to say, I am filled with feels on a daily basis.
I also will reveal the story has already grown in better, unforeseen ways from the initial draft and I'm so happy for it. This dream sequence is one of them. Initially, it was much more sad, but during editing, this came to me, and it simply felt right. This way it feels more balanced as it should. Lovely and soft, a reprieve but yet heartbreaking and bittersweet.
That entire sequence with him having his hood up and forcing himself to walk to seek out the information he was missing from Biggs and Toshi is still one of my favorites. His desperation as well came so naturally to me. For a moment I felt like G'raha was the one writing and not me, and I heard his voice so clearly. I usually don't have much difficulty keeping him and his voice in my head as I write, but in this chapter especially I felt more attuned to him so to speak, or rather to who he will become.
I know I shouldn't doubt myself when it comes to writing him but it still rears its ugly head sometimes. Is why it is such a relief to hear I manage to get his characterization right.
As for the hood, good eye indeed for noticing what I am going for here, and was also a reason I highlighted it when I initially described the cloak, although cloaks usually come with hoods. As we all know he hid under the hood on the First to hide his identity. Much because of the eventual coming of the WoL, but I also always imagined he had his hood up for more reasons than just one, it being but one major part of it. Another being to shield his eyes from the harsh everlasting light, and to perhaps not unsettle the people of that world with his Allagan eyes, since such a thing is completely alien to that world. But more than that using it as a way to cope as you say by shoving himself under his hood both literally and figuratively, something I found natural for him to start adapting to even before he traveled to the First when one considers everything he has just been exposed to, and the immense weight he will carry. In this sense, he will also find it easier to distance himself. Especially so from the people on the First. A hero working from the shadows although he doesn't view himself that way.
Hidden under shadow after all no one can read the emotion in his eyes easily or at all really. Emotions and thoughts he knows he cannot hide, and taking up the title Crystal Exarch eventually on the First he in time forgets himself to his purpose, and it's so tragic :( Those shadows granted him from his hood become a sanctuary but also a prison.
That said he won't use the hood all the time just yet, but there will be an uptick.
Sadly Y'sato was never buried :( Callous as that might sound, but I have my reasoning and personal headcanon for it. I shared it with one of my readers, so I'll share it with you too.
He was never buried cause those who cared enough to do so well, died alongside him (aka the Scions). In the end even as the WoL he died and rotted away like pretty much everyone else. More a weaponized martyr than a dear close comrade. Another personal reasoning I used which I didn't highlight is the survivors probably were fearful of staying in the epicenter of such a devastating event for too long, not really knowing if there was more of that gas lingering or if it had poisoned the land and the corpses themselves. Just merely stepping foot in there could put their lives at risk. So I imagine they went about it as fast as they could. Documenting, searching for any survivors, to see if the WoL somehow survived, and then...they found him. I imagine seeing all the senseless death was bad enough, but to see someone as inspirational and strong like the WoL dead to it just like that, dashed their already fragile hopes. So they took the image as proof of his passing, then just left, unable to bear it.
Cause how could there be any hope of survival or any survivors when even Y'sato ended up dead? He who until that point had survived against numerous impossible odds stacked against him?
That said I like to imagine if Aymeric got to Y'sato, or Cid, or any of the city leaders they would have given him a burial, but everything just fell apart.
But there is a memorial and in time I hope it will bring G'raha much-needed guidance and comfort. Rathefrost as the location just made sense seeing it already holds some significance being the place where the Thaliak stone is, and it also overlooks both the lake and the Tower and also the Agrius and Midgardsorm. A perfect spot for much-needed solitude.
Happy to see I was on point with G'raha finally learning about their plans and his role in all of it. Like I mentioned in my notes it must have been so surreal for him. As you say too impossible and miraculous, so it always made sense to me that G'raha would need some time to come to terms with it all. I also always had the feeling Biggs and the Ironworks offered it to him as a choice, since they know the burden he will carry, is the heaviest of them all. In the end, it was all G'raha's choice to make.
You put it all so perfectly well in your final paragraph I feel I only need to say this: SO MANY FEELS!!! T_T
Again it means so much to me to hear you like this so much and it helps give me strength to power through. It is tough sometimes to edit and perfect this story, but it is so worth it even when it leaves me an emotional mess at times. It wants to be told, to be shared, and I will see it through to the end.
( I have the silly image now of Emotional Support cat laying in your lap then seeing her sibling, then she just goes nyyyyyyyom BAP!! Then she and her sibling chase each other around the house XD So thanks for the laugh. Much needed I assure you. )
Feeling a bit off today cause of period cramps, but going to start editing the next chapter as soon as I feel more like myself. Can't wait to share the next chapter when it's ready. Until then take care and thanks for the support <3
Greetings, I just wanted to notify I won't be able to update this weekend after all. Been having a bit of a rough week, and the next chapter even during revisions and edits keeps getting longer (12k and counting lol) aka it is still not quite done and I don't want to rush or deliver something I don't deem ready yet so I decided to update next weekend instead. Thanks for your understanding and support <3 This chapter being on the lengthier side I hope it will be all worth the wait in the end!
Comment on The Light of Hope
AuroraRayne on Chapter 5 Sun 11 Feb 2024 11:39PM UTC
Comment Actions
CrystalRune on Chapter 5 Mon 12 Feb 2024 09:01PM UTC
Comment Actions
CrystalRune on Chapter 5 Sun 18 Feb 2024 02:12AM UTC
Comment Actions