okay first of all, the beginning??? ABOUT THE DEAD GUY??? THATS SO WELL WRITTEN IT DRAWS YOU IN SO GOOD OH MYGOD.. LIKE THE SUSPENSE AT LITERALLY THE START
oo childes intro scene really does tell you about his character, and the same w/lumi n aethers, like the way you wrote lumine does truly intruige me idk how to explain it
woahh.... scara pookie.. first day at school and his ass is alreadyy getting into trouble 😭😭 GOWON PALLLLLL
awww, aether caring for his sister :((( taru caring so hard about being called ugly hes so stupid i love him
tartaglia liking him because he hates him is so funny to me, gowon taru!! get ur man!!
AWW MONA WAS THE GIRL WHO FELL??
"tanning bed gone wrong victim" IM GIGGLING GOOOO KING!! 3 CHEERS FOR SCARAMOUCHE YOUVE WRITTEN HIM SO WELL
teyvat swim team
GYMNASTICS SCARA
taru is trying to hard i cannot, "wouldn't you say those are pretty attractive traits as a fellow gymnast?" "no" GO AWAY SMELLY HE DOESN'T WANT YOU!!!
mona tarot card girl CAT AND LADYBUG SYMBOL
NILOU MENTION IM FERAL LORDDDD MY GIRLLLLLLLLLLLL "Scaramouche’s first task was to push this large cabinet from Nahida’s shop all the way to Nilou’s dance studio; which was half way into the road strip." i could help him with that haha nilou im strong trust
OOO HIM LOOKING AROUND AND FINDING A SOLUTION KINDA LIKE HOW SCARABUG/LADYBUG USES THE LUCKY VISION OMGGGG
"He handed over the cabinet to Nilou and she smiled at him with a grateful look in her eyes, “I like your method, seems convenient. Hey, you got a ladybug on you.” The dancer moved closer to him and she slid the little ladybug on her finger, “Oh..Yeah Ladybugs seem to be around a lot today, I don’t know-” Scaramouche said as he wiped off his sleeve.
“They mean good luck and new beginnings so be thankful this little guy is following you around..” Nilou smiled and walked off.
Scaramouche felt less upset about the ladybugs following him around now." oh i really like that scene.. i love how a) nilou is there and b) the ladybug foreshadowing (even tho we kinda already know abt him going bug mode), the way it kinda smooths his nerves?? i love it
I JUST. REALISED NOW THAT THE PARTS THAT SWITCH POVS/SWITCH SCENES HAVE LITTLE CATS OMGGG I LOVE THAT
tart being so insecure over that one comment hes so real for that
THE.. NAHIDA LINE??? OMH?????? "I'm sorry Tartaglia, I can't say. Maybe when you show me your real face, I can say." WHAT. WHAT? WHAT?????? WHAT???????????????/ OH MY GOD??? I ACTUALLY LOVE THAT SO FUCKING MUCH
"Tartaglia is happy, this is his real face" oh poor baby.. oh, will we ever get a scene using like the name ajax cos yk the genpact lore? (this is just my opinion but i <3 doing this where like, using childe/tartaglia at first and over time when he becomes more comfortable he uses ajax in his 3rd person pov to show his true self)
i have mad beef with lumi in this tbh hate her already im sorry not sorry.... if tart pulls an adrien chloe moment on us (yk when adrien kept telling her to stop being mean) i will giggle cos w/how lumi is currently set i doubt itll actually do shite on her
BARBIE KEN AND BARBIES BROTHER
"I want more of this. You are very closed minded and you lack compassion for those you have classified under one umbrella. You have a creative and quick-thinking mind, but intelligence isn’t everything. You need someone to open up here.” Nahida pointed at his heart and Scaramouche just grumbled" right someone needs to get theri nan shes coming for everyone istg its so funny
FAKE FACE SCENE <3333 it gen makes me so curious as to what she means by having a real face, but i suppose all will be revealed in due time, hehe
drop the mask king #tartdropthemask2023
NAHIDA TRYNA GIVE HIM ADVICE I LOVE THAT
the earrings... nahida trialling him... NOIR POOKIE SOON
oh my fucking god scara running away at the water spill (starts tweaking) (hes like me fr... transgenders unite...)
taru being a fucking idiot oh my god 😭
THE WAY HE THREW THE BOOK AT TIKKI GIGGLING HES SO REAL I WOULD TOO
missing butterfly and peacock.. (thinks..) who will be the peacok cos take it from the intro and some things on tiktok i am assuming ae is no longer on this plane of earth
FEMININE SUIT. is violently sick everywhere. feminine figure >:((((( was he unable to get like surgery yet?
PLAGG SCRANNING ALL THE CHEESE
HOOOOOOLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SHIT STAR TWINS FIGHT!! STAR TWINS FIGHT!!! "he said we were selfish and all we did was use him as a product rather then family." OUGHHHHH
THE,.. femael.. pronousns....... i understand why they jst make me weihosdihjdfshgfwhwt4bukibewfwebhlijbhevjnefnj
THE WATERMELON COMMENT
aetehr being the hawkie b4...so curious as to what his wish wouldve been cos yk hes like 💀 dead now
the description of how he fucking died jesus lord almight babe that is something else (/POS?? ITS SO GOOD)
"miraculous ladybug" fixing everything and him remaining dead. on the floor. ough.
DADDY DAINSELIF AS THE BODYGUARD LORDDD HAVE MERCYYYYYY ON MY DIVINE SOUL iwould say sm worse stuff but i dont want you coming for me in dms
scarabug just wanting to help//////.... and ougjgg.... hes.. in a coma... aether baby girl... wake up.. for me.... 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
The Doctor.. was the D emphasied on purpose is it daddy dottoreholy shit i nee dgim so bad sory but like ngkkjhj....
SIGNORA AS HIS MAMS ASSISTANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
similar to box nahi gave him..thinks
SIMP SCARAMOUCHE OHHHH YPU FUCKING DATA EXPUNGED IM NOT SAYING SLURS (that i can reclaim btw i am) ON AO3 DOT COM HES SOME RANDOM FURRY TWINK LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I CAN TREAT YOU BETTER THEN THE HAIRLESS CAT ON THE STREETS IM BETTER THEN CHAT NOIR POOKIE
LADYBLOGGGGGG <3333 mona so real suck on that chat noir scara will be mine.....
taru.. stop simping for the purple guy.. heh.... i guess i deserve it... heh.... (im sorry i think this is funny)
SCARANARA CLEANING UP THE INJURY AWWWWW
the fake face being what made scara see him as ugly..??????? oh my god yea thats it
Lumi quit yellin at mona ur brother was akin to a terrorist bae!!
GIGGLING THE GINGER COMMENT
i actyally love this fic, the way you write their character dynamics/??? omg??? they all fit in reallly well together, like puzzle pieces.. lumines grief.... oh also about the authors note, lumi not being like thos forevr, when she becomes "good" will we get another villain or is that the end or will we have to wait ans see???
some of my favourtie scebes (other then the nilou ones..) were def like idk.. LOVED THE ONES NEAR THE END THO LIEK "Lumine ran over and held Brother’s sleeping body, she looked up at the heroes with tears swelling her eyes, “What have you done!? What did you do to my brother?” She screamed, Ladybug took a few steps back as she didn’t know what to say but Chat Noir held firmly on her shoulder; “We saved you and this city, your Brother attacked the city, we as heroes need to stop him.” He sounded so sure of himself but she could feel his hand shaking, he was scared and so was she; this wasn’t in their Kwamis instructions." JUST LUMINES PURE GRIEF?? LIKE HOLY SHIT SHES FUCKING DISTRAUGHT WITH RAGE YOU CONVEYED IT SO WELL
AND AND AND
"Ladybug walked over to grab the brooch off the floor but Dainsleif stood in her way, “You must not go near them. You have done your damage.”" DAINS PROTECTIVENESS :(( AND OUGHHHHHHH ALSO ANOTHER LUMINE SCENE I LIKED WAS THE "“How dare you talk so openly about them after what they did to my family!!” She screamed, Mona put her hands up defensively as Scaramouche pulled her away" I JUST LOVE HOW WELL YOU WRITE HER GRIEF
“Give me your hand. Tartaglia nervously handed over his injured hand to Scaramouche as he watched him wipe it up, before he started wrapping it up in the bandage" this whole scene :(( about how even though scara says he hates him he wont just let him be hurt
"He smelt good, like fresh baked bread and chocolate; his smooth skin against Tartaglia’s hand made his heart race." calm it down fruit loop jesus... on my way with my car.. damn...
Tartaglia has always been ugly to him, but in that split moment; everyone’s words about him made sense like he dropped the fake facade for a moment." okay so i know i keep mentioning the fake facade/real face things youve written but i am genuinely obsessed with that whole thing, like how after he went back to his fake smiles scara found him ugly again, "Tartaglia pulled Lumine away to not cause a scene and his ugly face was back, the fake smile and the dead look in his eyes made Scaramouche gag in disgust." because scara KNOWS thats not his true self, just like nahida, scara knows thats not what he's truly like and i just genuinely adore how he knows the difference between how the real tartaglia looks and how the fake one looks, because not even tartaglia HIMSELF understands what nahida meant by real face
Also if my ending comments seem like they were written at a different time from my other notes thats because the earlier comments were my like genuine live reaction to what happens in the fanfic
i also just, again, love both the character building and the worldbuilding because very quickly we're thrown into this world, like skipping past the rather morbid into (which honestly again, i think it really sets up the fic which ill go into in another paragraph) youre just thrown into scara at his first day in teyvat high! everything flows really smoothly, the breaks in story and the time skips fit the story pretty well and i just in general adore your writing style w/this fanfiction
AND NOW ABOUT THE MORBID INTrOOOO
Alright, for starters just holy fucking shit???? It really draws you in because it’s the first line in and it’s so intense for a beginning scene, “Blood scattered along the pavement floor, the concrete cracked on impact, his body seemed to be broken into a shell of the person he was not five seconds ago.” And then the scene after that just being one of the main characters going to his new school is so so fucking interesting to me because like it really draws you in, just the atmosphere of the situation being shifted to a seemingly more light hearted scene is so fun to me and idk how to word it I just LOVED that aethers death, even just without any context, is the first few lines because it makes you WANT to know the context and I just love it sm
youre so fucking talented at writing and istg if others dont see that i will brawl because LOOK AT TTHIS STUFF?? ITS SO WELL WRITTEN I JUST CANNOT. THE WAY YOU WROTE CHARACTER INTERACTIONS AND OIHGHHH I COULD GO ON SO LONG ABOUT THIS
Comment on The Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir| Chiscara
h4rbingrr on Chapter 1 Wed 22 Nov 2023 08:02PM UTC
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h4rbingrr on Chapter 1 Wed 22 Nov 2023 08:02PM UTC
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